1
00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:07,935
<i>[J.D.] I missed living with Turk,</i>
<i>but living with Elliot wasn't that bad.</i>

2
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,739
Hey, roomie. I'm having the girls
from my yoga class over for drinks.

3
00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:15,042
And FYI, Tina,
the tiny brunette, just got dumped,

4
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:17,345
and she's looking for rebound sex.

5
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:20,181
Honestly,
how could I be a better roommate?

6
00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:23,222
<i>[J.D.] She could be half Turk</i>
<i>and half Elliot.</i>

7
00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:28,751
Hey, dawg, if you die before me, you
can play with my boobies while I finish.

8
00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:32,696
I died, Turkiot. Hello!

9
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:37,360
- J.D., what are you doing?
- Nothing.

10
00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:40,497
It looked like you were thinking
about fondling my breasts.

11
00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:44,031
If that's the case, then stop
thinking and start fondling.

12
00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:50,916
- What are you doing?
- I miss having you as my roommate.

13
00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:52,279
I don't know.

14
00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:55,515
Keith's telling Mr. Morrison
about his brain tumor.

15
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:59,922
<i>Seeing an intern tell someone they're</i>
<i>gonna die for the first time is strange</i>

16
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,962
<i>because even though it's</i>
<i>a horrible and sad experience,</i>

17
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:07,625
<i>if they get through it,</i>
<i>there's a sense of... accomplishment.</i>

18
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,463
Nailed it! Hell, yeah!

19
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,537
Good job, man. What'd you say?

20
00:01:11,604 --> 00:01:14,368
I told him there's
nothing more we can do right now.

21
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:15,408
[Both] Ooh.

22
00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:17,476
- What?
- "Nothing more we can do now"

23
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,910
implies there's something
we can do tomorrow.

24
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,880
I also said we'd make him
as comfortable as possible.

25
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:25,076
Sounds like he's
getting new pillows.

26
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,176
That man knows he's doomed!

27
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:33,319
Yeah, I'm gonna need you
to go back in there

28
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,759
and use some form
of the word "die."

29
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:39,798
Dead, dying, deadsies,
<i>Deadwood,</i> your choice.

30
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:42,164
- What was the middle one?
- Deadsies.

31
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,036
<i>- Deadwood?</i>.
- You know cowboys used to curse?

32
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,504
I didn't know that.

33
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:50,907
Gather round, people!
Dr. Kelso has an announcement to make!

34
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:54,037
That'll be all. You can go back
to doing what you were doing.

35
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,547
It was my day off.

36
00:01:57,750 --> 00:02:01,242
Due to lack of funds,
I'm shutting down our baby-mobile,

37
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:06,020
which means there will no longer be free
prenatal care for underprivileged women.

38
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:08,993
Bottom line: Thinking
about knocking up a homeless gal,

39
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,223
I'd do it this weekend.

40
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,629
- Thank you, Colonel Doctor.
- Excuse me?

41
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:18,364
I don't know your name, and you look
like that Kentucky Fried Chicken guy.

42
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:23,102
Moving on. This Friday,
I am receiving an award from the AMA.

43
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:27,943
Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard
of the Year. Don't you tell me!

44
00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:31,278
Guy I Despise So Much,
I'd Pay Someone to Kill Ya,

45
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:34,445
Stuff Ya and Leave by My Bed,
So When I Wake Up in the Morning,

46
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:37,649
I Could Roll Over
and Punch You in the Face...

47
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:40,955
...of the Year.
- And we're back.

48
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:44,519
Anyway, I need one of you attendings
to introduce me at the dinner,

49
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:45,962
so figure it out.

50
00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:49,831
- How do we handle this?
- Same way we have for years.

51
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,962
First one who falls introduces Kelso.

52
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,769
Unfortunately for you,
I have the balance of a...

53
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,402
<i>[J.D.] Careful.</i>
<i>You're about to let Dr. Cox know</i>

54
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,241
<i>you were a gymnast in high school.</i>

55
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:03,180
Fine, let's do this. Wheels up.

56
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:08,344
OK, come on, Dorian. Find your center.

57
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,719
Around the rosie.

58
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:14,123
Hey! I got it!

59
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:16,755
I don't got it!

60
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,362
Whoa! Whoa!

61
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:23,892
Reel it in. Take it clockwise!
Fight your fear!

62
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:26,905
Come on, come on. Be the chair.

63
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,873
You gotta want it, Johnny D!

64
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,569
You gotta want it!

65
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:31,940
Oooooooh!

66
00:03:32,011 --> 00:03:33,672
[Continues shouting]

67
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:37,007
- [Grunts]
- [Cox] Oh!

68
00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:38,606
Tough break, there, Newbie.

69
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,245
Group! Position right! Ho!

70
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:44,046
<i>[Chanting]</i>
<i>but I believe</i>

71
00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:47,183
<i>- [others]</i>
<i>- [Cox]</i>

72
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:50,491

<i>all on my own</i>

73
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:54,090

<i>I'm no Superman</i>

74
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:59,237


75
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,172
So I have to introduce Kelso.
Big whoop.

76
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,804
You don't understand
the predicament you're in.

77
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:09,245
Kelso expects a long,
glowing testimonial,

78
00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:12,512
the kind that make men cheer
and women...

79
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:15,315
- What is it that women do?
- How the hell would I know?

80
00:04:15,388 --> 00:04:16,412
<i>[J.D.] They swoon.</i>

81
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:19,253
If you get up there
and start kissing Kelso's ass,

82
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:22,920
your fellow attendings will think
of you as a brownnosing toady.

83
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,190
On the other hand,
if you don't pucker up,

84
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:30,032
Kelso will make your life a living hell.
You're officially trapped.

85
00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:32,400
I'll say something nice that's true.

86
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:37,171
You go do that, and I'll go find God,
quit drinking, get in touch with myself,

87
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:41,145
and we'll meet right back here
at half past impossible. OK?

88
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:44,183
Everyone has a human side, Coxie.
Even Kelso.

89
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,979
The hell he does.

90
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:50,614
I remember a flu epidemic, we lost
half a dozen children in one day.

91
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:54,682
<i>[Laverne] The second Kelso's foot</i>
<i>hits the bottom of those stairs...</i>

92
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:59,990
- [whistling]
<i>...he has no cares in the world.</i>

93
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:02,159
[J.D.] You know, Laverne, I'm a doctor.

94
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,999
I'm not gonna take
my psychological evaluations

95
00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:07,767
from someone who dispenses them
in between <i>Maury</i>

96
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,501
and eating a corn muffin.

97
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:11,941
<i>[J.D.] OK, that was too mean.</i>
<i>Apologize.</i>

98
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:13,842
Laverne, I...

99
00:05:13,913 --> 00:05:16,973
<i>The hell with it. She's not</i>
<i>gonna forgive you. Go for broke!</i>

100
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,018
I was watching CNN earlier.

101
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:23,282
Apparently the terror alert in your
armpits has been elevated to orange.

102
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:26,917
Oh, no, he didn't.
Yes, Laverne, he did.

103
00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:33,929
"Laverne, I'm a doctor." You're
a bit of a know-it-all, aren't you?

104
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,867
- Well, I know a lot.
- Yeah? Who was Deep Throat?

105
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:39,905
Mark Felt, the FBI guy.
That's been all over the news.

106
00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:43,635
Oh, sorry, rich boy.
My TV doesn't get the news.

107
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:47,202
Just The Bible Channel
and some kind of Chinese boxing.

108
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,441
Bet you don't know how
to play Jiggly Ball.

109
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,848
- That's because there's no such thing.
- I knew you didn't know.

110
00:05:56,589 --> 00:06:00,821
<i>[J.D.] If I just follow Dr. Kelso around</i>
<i>for a while, he'll do something decent.</i>

111
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:04,158
<i>I'm a master of stealth,</i>
<i>I can sneak up on anybody.</i>

112
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,458
[Brakes screeching]

113
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,021
Why are you following me?

114
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,660
Sir, aren't you being a little paranoid?

115
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:12,603
I was in 'Nam, you know.
They pulled off my fingernails.

116
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:14,401
When did you get an earring?

117
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:20,678
Enid, I'm not cheating on you.
This earring is mine.

118
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:22,676
[Squishy sounds]

119
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:25,006
See?

120
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:28,144
It's a hip-hop world, son.
Keep up or get out of the way.

121
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,084
I gotta get an earring.

122
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,559
- Turk, have you heard of Jiggly Ball?
- It's a game the orderlies made up.

123
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:39,996
I've heard of it too. It's so awesome
that we've both heard of it.

124
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,432
Yes. That... that's awesome.

125
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,901
Mr. Keck. What do you say
we get you into surgery

126
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,767
and take care of that hernia?

127
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,603
I don't know if surgery is necessary.

128
00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:53,236
Last night I was in pain,
so I went to a free clinic.

129
00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:56,338
The doctor there
said surgery wasn't my only option.

130
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,247
Get him on the phone and tell him

131
00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:02,048
I won't be second-opinioned by a doctor
who couldn't carry my jockstrap!

132
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:04,589
- Gimme some! Ho!
- Here it is.

133
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:05,817
I think I know this guy.

134
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,793
A cocky black doctor
with a white doctor following him

135
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:10,954
and looking at him
like he's in love?

136
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:14,796
- You would make a pretty girl.
- Yeah.

137
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,869
All right, now repeat after me:

138
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:20,303
"You can't decide for me,
that's not your duty."

139
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:23,206
And are they both trying not
to laugh at the word "duty"?

140
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,369
[Both snickering]

141
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,412
Yeah.

142
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:29,276
Hey, Heckle and Jeckle, you know what?
No surgery.

143
00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:33,307
- Who the hell is this?
<i>- [Man] Where are my shoelaces?</i>

144
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:36,981
I said tell him he had
a laxity in the peritoneal wall

145
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:40,492
and that surgery was unnecessarily
invasive. Was that so hard?

146
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:46,030
Mr. Morrison, I understand that one
of our interns spent an hour in here

147
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:49,465
telling you over and over
that you are going to die.

148
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:52,163
I would make him apologize personally,

149
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:56,607
but I'm having him spend the day
checking that countertop's heartbeat.

150
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,471
- Sorry, Mr. Morrison.
- Keith!

151
00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:04,107
I think Mr. Countertop would really
appreciate your undivided attention.

152
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:09,277
Now, the hospital is running
an experimental drug trial

153
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:12,984
on a medication that they're hoping
will reduce the size of tumors.

154
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:16,620
And, well, I'm gonna
try my hardest to get you in there.

155
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:18,993
I really appreciate that, sir.

156
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:22,831
Ahh, checking Mr. Countertop's
heart rate.

157
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,370
Memories. Do you know that, once,

158
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:30,273
Dr. Cox made me give every AC unit
in this hospital a Pap smear?

159
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:34,712
The wacky thing was room 403
did have some yeast issues.

160
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:38,250
Look, Dr. Cox, this intro is killing me.
Have you seen Kelso?

161
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:42,481
Nope. But our new patient, Mr. Franks,
in here is crazy rich,

162
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:45,115
so I'd imagine Big Bob
will be here momentarily

163
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:47,249
to make love to his money clip.

164
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,455
Hi. Bob Kelso.

165
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:53,230
Listen up, bozos.

166
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:58,396
That gentleman over there is basically a
cash pi�ata waiting to be whacked open.

167
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:01,531
So how about someone diagnoses him
so I can get my candy?

168
00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,507
I'll be glad to do it, Bob,

169
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:07,137
if you'll do me a favor
and put my patient, Mr. Morrison,

170
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:10,511
- in that experimental drug trial.
- Sure, what the hell.

171
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,551
Deal.

172
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:16,019
<i>[J.D.] Finally I had something</i>
<i>I could say in my speech.</i>

173
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:19,854
- [Choir vocalizing]
<i>- Dr. Kelso was an angel.</i>

174
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,960
Lorraine, the sooner
you let me have a look at that rash,

175
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:26,396
the sooner we can get you back home.

176
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:29,127
I mean, back on the street,
which is your home.

177
00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:31,669
"Home, street home," huh?
[Laughs, snorts]

178
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,898
I'm sorry, that was insensitive.

179
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,440
[Knocking]

180
00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:39,772
Frick!

181
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,411
So this is where germs are born.

182
00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:48,419
I cannot believe you told these guys.

183
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:51,718
Elliot, she didn't. My patient
told me that his clinic doctor

184
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:55,352
was this blonde-haired woman who
talked in such a high-pitched voice

185
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,295
when she was upset,
her words just became gibberish.

186
00:09:58,364 --> 00:09:59,991
I really do not talk like that.

187
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,694
I'm getting tired
of you guys constantly saying...

188
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,929
Elliot, nobody but me
can understand you.

189
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:08,462
- [Unintelligible]
- That's Turk, that's how he is.

190
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:12,036
You knew she worked here?
I can't believe you kept a secret.

191
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,545
Remember your wedding,
you sold me out to Turk?

192
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,674
You showed up drunk
at my shower screaming through tears

193
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:20,275
I'd never be as
connected to him as you are.

194
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,479
Turk knew I was joking.

195
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,522
<i>[J.D.] We're so emotionally connected.</i>

196
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,750
Elliot, nobody respects clinic doctors.

197
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:28,157
Really?
I think your hernia patient does.

198
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:31,754
- I'm not upset about that.
- It's obvious you are.

199
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,799
It's more obvious to me, baby... Turk.

200
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:37,802
This isn't great, but it's not like I
think about being yelled at by Dr. Cox

201
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,599
or playing Jiggly Ball.

202
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:41,970
<i>[J.D.] How do I not know</i>
<i>about this game?</i>

203
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:45,477
At this clinic, I practice medicine
for people who really need me.

204
00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:48,513
I mean, honestly,
I feel like I belong here.

205
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:52,539
Dr. Cole just got stabbed in the
parking lot, and we're out of gauze.

206
00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:56,952
- Is it cool if I take lunch?
- This place is crushing my soul.

207
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:02,118
Can you believe Elliot's
working in a free clinic?

208
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,162
- Who?
- Dr. Reid?

209
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:08,097
I'm sorry,
that's just not ringing a bell.

210
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,260
She and J.D. Used to sleep together.

211
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,430
- J.D.?
- That's not even funny.

212
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:19,069
Priscilla, I honestly, on my mother's
grave, thought your real name was Carol.

213
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,773
Whoa, whoa.
You wanna hear a weird coincidence?

214
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,816
The pathology just came back
on Dr. Kelso's rich patient.

215
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:28,284
He has the same brain tumor
as your guy, Mr. Morrison.

216
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:32,090
<i>[J.D.] I don't know why we were running,</i>

217
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:35,456
<i>because I think we both knew</i>
<i>that we couldn't change anything.</i>

218
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,361
<i>Given a choice</i>
<i>between a rich guy and a poor guy,</i>

219
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:46,496
<i>it was pretty obvious who Bob Kelso</i>
<i>would put in the drug trial,</i>

220
00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:48,540
<i>and who he'd leave behind.</i>

221
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,975
<i>Another banner day at Sacred Heart.</i>

222
00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,581
<i>A best friend stuck in a crappy job...</i>

223
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:06,816
<i>... a nice guy slowly dying</i>
<i>without a fighting chance.</i>

224
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:13,328
<i>It's a wonder how anyone can walk out of</i>
<i>this place with a smile on their face.</i>

225
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:19,933
[Sighs, then whistles]

226
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,437
We have to help Elliot get her job back.

227
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,778
There's no money
to hire another attending.

228
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:33,819
Maybe, though.
Dr. Bailey was fired last night.

229
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,547
Why?

230
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:39,019
For this procedure,
I'm going to have to numb you.

231
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:41,588
Num-num-num-num-num.

232
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:46,053
- You know, in Dr. Bailey's defense...
- No, no, no, no.

233
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:48,100
- There have been times...
- No.

234
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:55,640
So anyways, we figured if I offered
to do the nursing schedules,

235
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:58,472
and these guys volunteered
to do shifts at the clinic,

236
00:12:58,544 --> 00:13:01,638
- Kelso might give you your job back.
- No, thanks.

237
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:02,942
Why?

238
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,876
I can't do your paperwork,
I am swamped!

239
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,716
I got you your job back.

240
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:13,182
I am not giving you my last Tater Tot!

241
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,124
I got you your job back.

242
00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:19,891
J.D., I don't care if they're able
to attach one person's limbs

243
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,525
onto another's body,
I am not giving you my hands!

244
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:23,966
Job back!

245
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:31,071
Just a beautiful film. Beautiful.

246
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,077
Corn?

247
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,850
Oh, let me help you. Let me...
I got you. Here you go.

248
00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:43,984
You're tickling your hands. Stop!
You're tickling your hands.

249
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:47,150
- Buttery.
- OK, keep going. I enjoy it, actually.

250
00:13:47,626 --> 00:13:51,460
Ah. Two and a half years
away from chest hands.

251
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:54,158
I have to handle this on my own, OK?

252
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:56,996
See? These are chest hands.

253
00:13:57,069 --> 00:14:00,436
- That's what I'm talkin' about.
- 'Course, yours would be brown.

254
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,937
<i>[J.D.] The next day started poorly.</i>

255
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,375
<i>I had eight hours</i>
<i>until Kelso's awards dinner,</i>

256
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:08,003
<i>and someone was boxing me out.</i>

257
00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:11,947
Hey, Bob, I need to talk to you
about my drug trial patient.

258
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,654
We lost him, Newbie.

259
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:24,124
Bob? I can see you.

260
00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:28,432
For God's sake,
you're three-dimensional.

261
00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:33,905
It's true, Mr. Keck, you could
probably get by without the surgery.

262
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:38,342
But why would you? I'm the smartest,
most skilled surgeon in this place.

263
00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:40,207
You stuck in that candy machine?

264
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:43,578
I paid for my Rolos,
I'm getting my Rolos.

265
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,746
Mm-hmm.

266
00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:48,979
Nice! Why aren't you mocking him?

267
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,280
I dropped a quarter in here.

268
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:52,483
[Chuckles]

269
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:55,254
Guys, listen,
we really need to help Elliot.

270
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,056
She said she doesn't want help.

271
00:14:57,129 --> 00:15:00,223
If J.D. Were drowning and said
he didn't want you to save him,

272
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:01,664
- wouldn't you?
- Depends.

273
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,565
What if there're hot chicks?

274
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:06,161
Maybe he wants one of them
to jump in and save him.

275
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:09,401
- Say there's no women.
- There's always women at the pool!

276
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,308
- Fine. He's in a pond.
- Oh, I would never swim in a pond.

277
00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:15,313
- They're infamous for serpents.
- You could swim at the Y,

278
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,508
- men only.
- Have you been on man night?

279
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,880
- Not me.
- Fine!

280
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:22,318
- Turk's the one who's drowning!
- So now a brother can't swim.

281
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,981
- Why do you have to go there?
- Oh, my God!

282
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:29,289
I would rather play Jiggly Ball than try
to explain this to you two idiots.

283
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:32,853
<i>[J.D.] She's the idiot. We're doctors.</i>

284
00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:41,103
Bob, I'm physically
touching your arm now.

285
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,374
Oh, come on, I know you're here.

286
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,946
Oh, hi, Perry! What can I do for you?

287
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:54,714
I just wanted to introduce you
to our chief of medicine.

288
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,450
Sir, I can't tell you
how well everyone's treating me.

289
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,424
That's what we're here for.

290
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:05,897
You forgot to tell him you
were bumping him from the trial.

291
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,934
- I've got work to do, Perry.
- You're not going anywhere.

292
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:10,898
[Clang]

293
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,434
[Clang]

294
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,637
[Clang]

295
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:17,672
[Clang]

296
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:21,141
You hearin' that?

297
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,372
[Clanging]

298
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,177
What kinda glass is this?

299
00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:29,444
Ow.

300
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:32,916
There was one spot open in the study.

301
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,120
I gave it to the rich guy because
with the money he's donating,

302
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:37,822
I can reopen the prenatal unit.

303
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:42,230
What really bothers me is that you
can look in there at John Morrison,

304
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,929
a guy you essentially
gave a death sentence to...

305
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:47,834
...and just not care.

306
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:51,137
It's not my job to care, Perry.

307
00:16:57,049 --> 00:17:00,507
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- No. I'm busy cleaning.

308
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:06,118
That one always kills.

309
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:09,024
Remember when I told you
I'd never heard of Jiggly Ball?

310
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,790
I was joking. I play it all the time.

311
00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:15,997
I like this. It's an idiot handle.

312
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:17,800
Get off.

313
00:17:17,903 --> 00:17:20,531
We're heading out now
to play some Jiggly Ball.

314
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:23,666
- Are you in?
<i>- [J.D.] Just say no.</i>

315
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:25,369
Jiggle me in.

316
00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:29,072
You're gonna go first.
Please enter the jiggly circle.

317
00:17:30,282 --> 00:17:33,649
Everybody else, on my signal,
prepare to throw.

318
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:38,987
- Throw?
- Now.

319
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:51,863
Now, anyone who caught a jiggle rebound
may step up to the death line.

320
00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:58,743
I want you to think of this
as a corn muffin.

321
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:00,845
Oh!

322
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,542
There is no such thing as Jiggly Ball,
is there?

323
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:09,280
No.

324
00:18:12,057 --> 00:18:13,115
[J.D. Whimpers]

325
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:15,717
- [Carla] Good.
- Guys, why?

326
00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:19,753
Janitor told us if we pretended to know,
we get to throw balls at you.

327
00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:22,129
- Couldn't pass it up!
- Got my shift covered!

328
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:25,568
I could see where it would be funny
from the outside of the circle.

329
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:27,435
- Ah!
- Ah!

330
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,999
Hey, Kelso's leaving
for his award thing,

331
00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:35,604
so if you want to talk to him
about Dr. Reid, do it now.

332
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:39,811
- I told you guys to leave it alone.
- Would you stop being so proud?

333
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:43,377
I'm proud? Carla, after the wedding,
you wouldn't take Turk's name!

334
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,753
I use it for official things.

335
00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:48,691
Calling you Mrs. Turk
in the bedroom isn't official.

336
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,819
But it is officially hot!

337
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,592
You freaked when the patient
listened to me over you.

338
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:56,190
J.D., you just let
the entire hospital pummel you

339
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:59,533
because you were too proud to admit
you didn't know Jiggly Ball.

340
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:02,472
I think there may be
something wrong with my spine,

341
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,372
because I'm not doing that.

342
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:07,207
Elliot, look, we just care about you.

343
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:10,804
Yeah, well, don't worry about it.
I'll get back on top on my own.

344
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,277
Chop-chop, Dorian.

345
00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:20,349
<i>[J.D.] Even though I had no clue</i>
<i>what I was gonna say,</i>

346
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:25,761
<i>Elliot's attitude inspired me to go</i>
<i>introduce the hell out of Bob Kelso.</i>

347
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,891
Ladies and gentlemen,
Dr. Bob Kelso is a...

348
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:31,595
- Thank you, Dr. Dorian.
- [Applause]

349
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,434
Thank you so much for this award.

350
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,064
Delighted to see you all...

351
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:38,439
Did I say he wanted a long introduction?

352
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:43,379
Because Kelso just...
he just likes when people say his name.

353
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,747
Hope you didn't obsess too much
about that, Newbie.

354
00:19:46,818 --> 00:19:49,582
<i>[J.D.] Over the next few weeks,</i>
<i>I couldn't help thinking</i>

355
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,849
<i>about what I had planned</i>
<i>to say in my speech.</i>

356
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,688
<i>About how pride defines who we are.</i>

357
00:19:56,361 --> 00:20:00,525
This guy has an STD, and he definitely
doesn't want his wife to find out.

358
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:01,759
[Sighs]

359
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,067
Crap.

360
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:06,933
<i>[J.D.] As far as Bob Kelso goes,</i>

361
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:11,271
<i>I know sometimes even the good things</i>
<i>he does are for the wrong reasons.</i>

362
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:14,039
I'd like everyone
to welcome back Dr. Reid.

363
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,588
<i>[J.D.] Still, I also know</i>

364
00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:27,216
<i>that I wouldn't want to have to make any</i>
<i>of the decisions that he makes.</i>

365
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:28,816
[

366
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:41,505
<i>[J.D.] When all is said and done, I'd</i>
<i>like to think he does care a little...</i>

367
00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:56,020
<i>... even if he's too proud to show it.</i>

368
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,580
[Whistling]