1
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,846
My name is Happy Gilmore.
2
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:58,725
Ever since I was
old enough to skate,
I loved hockey.
3
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,520
I wasn't really
the greatest skater, though.
4
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:06,357
But that didn't stop my dad
from teaching me
5
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:09,402
the secret of smacking
the greatest slap shot.
6
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,407
My dad worshipped hockey.
My mom didn't.
7
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,659
That's why
she moved to Egypt,
8
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,746
where there's
not a hockey rink
within 1,500 miles.
9
00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,791
Dad always took me to games
to cheer for our
favorite player
10
00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:26,419
Terry O'Reilly,
the Tasmanian Devil.
11
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:30,673
He wasn't the biggest guy
in the league, but he
feared nobody, just like me.
12
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,508
Handsome fellow, huh?
13
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,928
He always said that
when I grew up, I could be
anything I wanted to be
14
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:39,182
but I never wanted to be
anything but a hockey player.
15
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:44,312
Yeah, my childhood
was going great, but life
is full of surprises.
16
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:47,774
(GLASS SHATTERING)
17
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,275
(MAN GRUNTING)
18
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,280
After the funeral
19
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,492
I was sent to live
with my grandma
in Waterbury.
20
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,793
I was kind of nervous,
since I really didn't
know her that well
21
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:11,130
but she dressed like
Gene Simmons from KISS
to cheer me up.
22
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:13,883
She's the sweetest person
in the world.
23
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,765
See, after my dad died,
I developed kind of
a short fuse.
24
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,892
That kid right there
just stole my party blower
25
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,352
and instead of
asking for it back
26
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:27,313
I felt I had to belt him
in the head a bunch of times
with a hammer.
27
00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:28,648
Look at me go.
28
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:32,068
But most of the time,
I was quick to
say I was sorry.
29
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:38,032
During high school,
I played junior hockey and
still hold two league records:
30
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:40,243
most time spent
in a penalty box
31
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,787
and I was the only guy
to ever take off his skate
32
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,580
and try to stab somebody.
33
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:49,419
After I graduated,
I had a lot of
different jobs.
34
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,254
I was a road worker,
35
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,757
a janitor,
36
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,430
a security guard,
37
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,352
a gas station attendant,
38
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,023
and a plumber.
39
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:16,529
Lately, I've been
working construction.
It's not a bad racket.
40
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,906
I'm a pretty good shot
with a nail gun.
41
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:23,703
But one day my boss,
Mr. Larson,
got in the way.
42
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:28,541
Apparently, he also
has a short fuse.
Look at that monster.
43
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:33,379
He got a few lucky punches
in there, but I still feel
I won the fight.
44
00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:35,465
Anyways, those jobs
weren't for me.
45
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:39,719
I was put on this planet
for one reason,
to play hockey.
46
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:44,807
That's my puck, baby!
Don't you ever touch my puck!
47
00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:48,269
Number 18.
Is that Gilmore again?
48
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,480
How many times
has this guy
tried out, anyway?
49
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,981
At least 10 times.
50
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,192
The guy's got
a lot of intensity.
51
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:55,985
(GRUNTING)
52
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,154
Not a real strong
skater, though.
53
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,989
Ain't the best
puck handler, either.
54
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,699
MAN: Man, which side
are you playing for?
55
00:04:04,203 --> 00:04:06,204
COACH: Yeah, but, my God...
56
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,083
What a shot.
57
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,169
Damn it!
58
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,796
Is that goal
regulation size, or what?
59
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:16,881
(EXCLAIMING)
60
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,595
Number 1,
61
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:26,432
number 52, number 16.
62
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,894
They saw my power, man.
Ain't no way they're
gonna dog me this year.
63
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,395
Number 9
64
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,773
and number 43.
65
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:38,444
The rest of you, if your
number wasn't called,
better luck next year.
66
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:41,906
Hey, Coach,
what's going on here, man?
What about me?
67
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,449
Gilmore.
68
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,577
Gilmore, I called
your number, didn't I?
69
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,412
No, no, no, no,
you didn't.
70
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,124
Well, better luck next year.
71
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,170
Now, that wasn't very nice!
What are you doing?
72
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,672
(COACH GRUNTING)
73
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,132
Get him off me!
74
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,717
Somebody help me!
75
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,678
You think you're
better than me?
76
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,893
Hey, where are you going?
I got us Subway.
77
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,311
I already ate.
78
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:16,566
Well, I went to high school
with a guy who worked there,
so we got extra meatball.
79
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,442
Great. I got to run.
See you later.
80
00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:20,945
Hey, can you
just stick around?
I kind of had a rough day.
81
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,071
Bye.
82
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,198
When are you getting back?
Never.
83
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:31,914
Terry, wait!
84
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,333
Wait! Hold on a second, babe.
85
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,459
Yeah.
86
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,920
You're not going for good,
are you, honey?
87
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,631
You're going nowhere, Happy,
and you're taking me with you.
88
00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:44,427
All you ever talk about
is being a pro hockey player,
but there's a problem.
89
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,095
You're not any good!
90
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:50,099
I am good! You know what?
You're a lousy
kindergarten teacher!
91
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,519
I've seen those
finger paintings you
bring home, and they suck!
92
00:05:55,355 --> 00:06:00,067
I'm sorry, babe. I didn't
mean that. I think they're
excellent finger paintings.
93
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,777
Please don't go.
94
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,905
I am not spending
the rest of my life
with a loser.
95
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:05,990
I'm gone.
96
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:10,453
Good! Then, get the hell
out of my life! Who needs you?
Beat it! Leave me alone!
97
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,040
I'm sorry, babe.
I didn't mean that either.
98
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:17,209
I just yell sometimes
'cause I get so scared,
99
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,462
scared of being a nobody.
100
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:23,382
Why don't you just
come back upstairs, honey?
101
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:27,053
I'll give you the old
smoochy-smoo kissy-wissy.
102
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,262
Hmm.
103
00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:31,682
You know Happy's gonna make
everything okay.
104
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,064
(HAPPY MOANING)
105
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,568
(SINGING)
I wanna kiss you all over
106
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,529
And over and again
107
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:49,575
I wanna kiss you all over
108
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,911
(SCATTING)
109
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,706
Till the night closes in
110
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:59,543
Till the night closes in
111
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,046
Terry!
112
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,305
(PHONE RINGING)
113
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,601
Yeah.
114
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,064
All right, sit tight.
I'll be right over.
115
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,073
Hey, you no want breakfast?
116
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,626
Grandma!
117
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,003
Grandma!
118
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,548
Hey, put that stuff down!
That's my grandmother's!
119
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,592
Cut it out, kid.
We're just doing our jobs.
120
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,428
What are you talking about?
121
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,556
Your grandmother
hasn't paid her taxes
in over a decade.
122
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:54,724
What?
123
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:58,060
Grandma, you didn't
pay your taxes?
124
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,188
I would have,
but I didn't have
any money.
125
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,233
Where are you
taking all her stuff?
126
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,944
I'm not taking
her stuff, okay?
The government is.
127
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:10,156
It's not like
I'm taking her stuff
over to my place
128
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,033
or something like that,
all right? So don't
get mad at me.
129
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:17,246
But she's an old lady.
I mean, look at her.
She's old.
130
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,458
You can't just
take her stuff.
She's too old.
131
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:24,879
I'm sorry. I have
no discretion here.
Her stuff is now our stuff.
132
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,799
Well, at least we got
the house, right?
133
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:32,595
I mean, I can bring furniture
from my place over here.
We're gonna be okay, Grandma.
134
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,182
Now you're really
gonna be mad. I have to
take the house, too.
135
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:40,019
No, look, pal,
my grandfather built this
house with his bare hands.
136
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:44,482
My grandma's been here
over 60 years.
You can't take her house.
137
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:47,067
Mrs. Gilmore owes the IRS
138
00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:50,446
$270,000 in back taxes.
139
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,323
Oh, my God.
We have to take the house.
140
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,909
And if you can't get
the money together in 90 days
141
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,244
we're gonna have to
sell the house to
someone else.
142
00:08:57,329 --> 00:08:59,038
You hate me, don't you?
143
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,956
No, no, no,
I don't hate you.
144
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:02,708
(GRUNTING)
145
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,006
He hates me.
146
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,637
HAPPY: Don't worry, Grandma,
everything's going to be
all right.
147
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,890
Look at this place,
Silver Acres Rest Home.
148
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:21,143
Hell, it looks more like
a country club
than a nursing home.
149
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,229
Nice grass, nice people.
150
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:26,023
Now, I hope you brought
your bathing suit.
Oh, Happy.
151
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:29,026
I'm telling you, this place
is perfect. You're gonna
make friends in no time.
152
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,820
(SCREAMING)
Mister!
153
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,240
Get me out of here!
154
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,827
(CRYING)
Here, just eat that!
Leave us alone!
155
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:42,206
Grandma, you don't
gotta do this, you know.
You can come live with me.
156
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,583
Nonsense, dear.
You're a grown man.
157
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:48,420
I wouldn't burden
you like that,
and that's final.
158
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:51,674
You tell me,
how's that nice
girlfriend of yours?
159
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,926
She got hit by a car.
She's dead.
160
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,302
Look, I'm telling you,
161
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:58,430
I am gonna get that $270,000
and we're gonna get
your house back.
162
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,765
That is a promise.
163
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,016
Oh, sure.
164
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:05,479
In the meantime,
just stay here
and have some fun.
165
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:08,023
I will, dear.
Don't worry.
166
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,777
Pardon me,
but it's naptime.
167
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,697
All right, a nap,
that sounds nice.
168
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,949
You go.
I love you.
169
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,869
I love you too, darling.
170
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,453
Okay, bye.
Goodbye.
171
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,123
Hey, buddy.
172
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,709
I want you to do me a favor.
You see that lady?
173
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,211
She's very important to me,
okay?
Okay.
174
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,631
So I want you to take
extra-special care of her.
175
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,633
You know what
I'm talking about here?
176
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,803
I can't accept that,
but I'll tell you
what I can do.
177
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,974
I can take extra-special care
of that young lady
over there for nothing.
178
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:45,686
Okay, I appreciate that.
179
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,063
Have a nice afternoon.
180
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:52,234
Sir, could I trouble you
for a glass of warm milk?
181
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,986
It helps put me to sleep.
182
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:57,281
You could trouble me
for a warm glass of
shut-the-hell-up!
183
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,911
Now, you will go to sleep,
or I will put you to sleep.
184
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:05,080
Check out the name tag.
You're in my world now,
Grandma.
185
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,832
Oh, dear.
186
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,171
Hey, bet you I can hit
a ball past that tree.
187
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,381
$20 says you can't.
188
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:17,760
Hey, morons, I told you
I wanna watch the hockey game.
189
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,763
Now, cut the golf sissy crap
and finish up in there.
190
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:21,889
Relax.
191
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:26,226
Think of it as a way to enjoy
your grandma's possessions
for another half hour.
192
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,273
Oh, my God,
you got ahold
of that one!
193
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,276
I'd like to see you try it.
Yeah, it's not as easy
as it looks.
194
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,779
Sorry, ladies,
I'm not the golfing type.
195
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,615
I'll tell you what.
You hit a ball past my ball
196
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,202
and we'll go straight back
to work so you can watch
your precious hockey game.
197
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:44,995
Give me the stupid club.
198
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,209
(SNICKERING)
199
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,003
Look at this stupid thing.
200
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:56,674
This is gonna be hilarious.
I mean, look how
he's standing.
201
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,134
You like that?
202
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,427
(MEN LAUGHING)
203
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,232
(GLASS SHATTERING)
204
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,650
Holy shit!
205
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,818
Go back to work.
206
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,820
That house is like
400 yards away.
207
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,322
Is that good?
That's unbelievable.
208
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,991
Beginner's luck.
209
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,535
$20 says you can't
do it again.
210
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,953
Bring it on.
211
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:37,923
(EXCLAIMING)
212
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,926
(BALL WHIZZING)
You boys are gonna pay
for that!
213
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,011
(GROANING)
214
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,807
You hit that guy!
He shouldn't have been
standing there.
215
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,976
One more time.
Double or nothing.
216
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,936
You better pay up.
217
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,695
(GROANING)
218
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,491
All right, maybe we should
get back inside.
219
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,952
Hey, you made a bet.
Pay the man.
220
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,303
MAN: All right!
221
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,139
Thanks, man.
Tell your friends.
222
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,849
HAPPY: Step right up, folks!
He's good.
223
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,142
See if you can outdrive
224
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:34,354
the amazing
golf ball whacker guy!
225
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,984
That's great.
226
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,070
Very good.
227
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,322
Bend those knees.
228
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:46,283
Remember now,
it's all in the hips.
You're doing great.
229
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,659
It's all in the hips.
230
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:50,662
HAPPY: All right, $50
I can hit it over the highway!
Any takers?
231
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,507
That's real good.
232
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,968
HAPPY: So long, sucker.
233
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,595
(EXCLAIMING)
234
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,099
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
235
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,308
MAN: You're like a freak.
236
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:14,353
How often do you play?
Never. This is my first time.
237
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,106
Hey, you should play in the
Waterbury Open tomorrow.
238
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,358
Yeah.
Yeah, all right,
I'll see you guys there.
239
00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,906
He's gonna play.
240
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,367
And, by God,
he's gonna win.
241
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,589
Hey, mister,
you gotta wear a helmet.
Don't worry about it.
242
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:45,717
(EXHALING LOUDLY)
243
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,473
Yeah, yeah,
bring that shit on, man.
244
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,475
Oh, God, I love it.
245
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,810
Awesome.
246
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,896
Oh, God, that hurt a little,
but I'm all right.
247
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,815
Oh, my God, son,
what the hell
are you doing?
248
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,442
Three hundred and
sixty-four more days till
next year's hockey tryouts.
249
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,528
I gotta toughen up. Yeah!
250
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,781
Oh, God, that felt good. Yeah!
251
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:10,576
Come on, boy. Cut that out.
You're making me sick.
252
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,286
Hey!
253
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,830
So you're a hockey player,
huh?
Yeah.
254
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,666
You're gonna give
that shit up. You're gonna
concentrate on golf.
255
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,001
Who the hell are you?
256
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,587
I'm the club pro here,
Chubbs Peterson.
257
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:26,300
I'm offering to teach you
how to play golf,
personally, for free.
258
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,467
No.
259
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,762
You have no idea
who I am, do you?
No, I don't.
260
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,599
Back in 1965,
261
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:37,769
Sports Illustrated said
I was going to be
the next Arnold Palmer.
262
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,229
Yeah? And what happened?
263
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,648
They wouldn't let me play
on the Pro Tour anymore.
264
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,942
I'm sorry.
Because you're black?
265
00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:47,362
Hell, no.
Damned alligator
bit my hand off.
266
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,906
Oh, my God!
Yeah.
267
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,365
Tournament down in Florida.
268
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,534
I hooked my ball in the rough
down by the lake,
269
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:56,205
damned alligator
just popped up!
Cut me down in my prime.
270
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,539
He got me
271
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:01,001
but I tore one of that
bastard's eyes out though.
Look at that.
272
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,085
(LAUGHING)
273
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,712
You're pretty sick, Chubbs.
274
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,966
I have never seen anyone
who can hit that ball
half as far as you can.
275
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,718
You got real talent, kid.
276
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,929
Well, that's nice
of you to say
277
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,556
but I've been training to be
a hockey player my whole life.
278
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:18,227
Golf's no different
from hockey. Requires
talent and self-discipline.
279
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,812
Golf requires goofy
pants and a fat ass.
280
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,522
You should talk
to my neighbor,
the accountant.
281
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,233
Probably a great golfer.
Huge ass.
282
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,986
Hey, I bet your neighbor,
the accountant, can't drive
the ball 400 yards.
283
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:32,741
Bet your neighbor,
the accountant, doesn't have
a shot to get on the Pro Tour.
284
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:34,952
How would I do that?
285
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:38,538
You win the Open tomorrow,
you're automatically
on the Pro Tour.
286
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:42,167
Then, who knows?
Maybe you'll win the
Tour Championship one day.
287
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,503
Get that gold jacket
like I never got.
288
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:47,381
Gold jacket,
green jacket,
who gives a shit?
289
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,633
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
290
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:55,264
Don't worry about that.
Made of wood.
It's real sturdy.
291
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,230
Oh, boy. Sorry about that.
292
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,857
Look, it was good
to meet you, but...
293
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,903
So... All right,
I'm out of here.
294
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:12,072
You know, this is not
real smart, kid.
295
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:15,534
I thought you were
pro material, primed
to make the big bucks.
296
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,919
Hey, Chubbs,
what kind of big bucks?
297
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,596
Stupid golf clubs.
Why the hell
am I doing this?
298
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:43,061
Must be Burt Reynolds
or something.
299
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,441
Good morning.
300
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,526
Son, isn't this great?
301
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,321
Blue skies, fresh-cut grass, birds chirping.
302
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,489
You gonna recite me a poem? Easy.
303
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,492
Jeez, you love
this golf stuff, huh?
Oh, yeah.
304
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,871
Figure a guy your size, well, why didn't you
play a normal sport, like football?
305
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,956
My mama wouldn't sign
the permission slip.
306
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,458
Thought it might be
a little too dangerous.
307
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,209
Yeah, good call.
308
00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:08,337
Hey, who's that?
309
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,340
CHUBBS: The shorter guy
on the right? Doug Thompson.
310
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,050
He's the president
of the Tour.
311
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:17,262
The other guy,
Shooter McGavin, leading
money-winner this year.
312
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:18,930
Hey, who's the girl?
313
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:22,768
Hi, I'm Virginia Venit,
Director of Public Relations
for the Tour.
314
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,519
Of course. I've heard
you've done some
315
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,689
really interesting things here
in Public Relations.
316
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,692
Really? Because I'm working
on a cross-promotional
thing right now...
317
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,987
Jeez, you know
what would be great?
If I could get a Pepsi.
318
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:35,947
Sure.
319
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,284
Oh, miss?
Yeah.
320
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:40,952
Diet.
321
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,496
Right.
322
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,666
By the way,
thanks for dressing up.
323
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,796
Hey, if I saw myself
in clothes like those,
I'd have to kick my own ass.
324
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,715
Good morning, everyone,
and welcome to
the Waterbury Open.
325
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,552
Now, before we tee off,
I have a very
special treat for you.
326
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,138
Ladies and gentlemen,
Shooter McGavin.
327
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,973
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
328
00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:04,643
Thank you.
329
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,898
Thank you, Doug. You know,
I saw Doug play yesterday,
and I gotta tell you,
330
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,734
this guy spends more time
in the sand
than David Hasselhoff.
331
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:13,902
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
332
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,779
Let me get a little serious
on you.
333
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:19,241
Now, you're all aware that
today's big winner will be
invited to join the Pro Tour
334
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,909
and I just want you to know
335
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,912
that, although only one of you
gets to be my colleague,
336
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,206
all of you are now my friends.
337
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,711
Thank you.
Now go get them!
338
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,259
Next up: Lafferty, Daniel...
339
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,678
and Gilmore, Happy.
340
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,808
Hey, where are you going
with those clubs, punk?
341
00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:48,311
Mr. Gilmore,
I'm your caddy.
342
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,565
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
No, no, no, let me
carry these, all right?
343
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:54,109
They're my grandfather's.
They're pretty old.
344
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,027
Well, what should I do then?
345
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,114
I don't know.
Why don't you just watch me
346
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,950
and make sure
I don't do anything
stupid, okay?
347
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,372
Mr. Gilmore,
Mr. Lafferty will be
teeing off now.
348
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,291
All right.
Good luck, buddy.
349
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:12,711
Get out of the way.
350
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,388
Where were you
on that one, dipshit?
351
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,898
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
352
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,945
Probably the only good one
I'll hit all day, huh?
353
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:41,156
Yeah.
Mr. Gilmore, you're up.
354
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,699
All right.
355
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,053
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
356
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:04,846
God damn it!
357
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,141
Time!
358
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,937
Relax. Just do what
we talked about, huh?
Don't even look at the green.
359
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:14,773
Make contact with the ball.
There's no goalie
out there to block it.
360
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:17,275
Remember, it's all in the hip.
Hey, hey, it's all in...
361
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,110
Come on, work with me now.
362
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,530
It's all in the hips.
363
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,282
Yeah, it's all in the hips.
364
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,327
It's all in the hips.
Get off of me!
365
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,579
Hey, just easing
the tension, baby.
366
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:32,874
Just easing the tension.
Well, ease it
on someone else.
367
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,926
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
368
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,644
What the hell?
369
00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:59,067
Come on. Good.
Now we just worry
about putting, huh?
370
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:00,819
Oh, yeah. Putting.
371
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:04,864
All right, now,
remember what I said, huh?
372
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,034
Just use your shoulders
to push the ball,
not your arms.
373
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,453
Don't break the wrist,
and bring that putter
back just like...
374
00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:14,457
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're
confusing me. Just let me
put the ball in the hole.
375
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:15,667
All right.
376
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,013
WOMAN: Oh, my.
377
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:31,182
Is this guy kidding?
378
00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:42,152
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
379
00:22:51,037 --> 00:22:52,537
This is pathetic.
380
00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:07,927
Yeah!
There you go. Good shot.
381
00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:10,138
It's about time.
Hey, it is about time.
382
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,182
I mean, I just couldn't get
the ball in the hole.
383
00:23:12,266 --> 00:23:14,726
I wanted to,
but I just couldn't do it.
384
00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:16,144
Hey, what are you doing?
385
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:17,437
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
386
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:47,425
He shoots, he scores!
387
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:50,345
Oh, man, that was
so much easier than putting.
388
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:53,181
I should just try
to get the ball in
one shot every time.
389
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:54,432
Good plan.
390
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:56,976
Did you see that?
Yes. Nice shot.
391
00:23:57,061 --> 00:23:59,688
He just got a hole in one
on a par four.
392
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,231
I know,
I just said I saw it.
393
00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:04,693
I hope he wins.
He's a publicist's dream.
394
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:09,322
I mean, a guy who can drive
the ball that far, he could
really draw a crowd.
395
00:24:09,407 --> 00:24:13,159
You know what else could
draw a crowd? A golfer with
an arm growing out of his ass.
396
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:50,905
(WHOOPING)
397
00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:52,991
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
398
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:17,265
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
399
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:26,608
CHUBBS: All right, now...
400
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:30,528
you make this one
in four or less shots,
you win the tournament.
401
00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:32,155
Four shots.
402
00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:34,365
Just think of it this way.
403
00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:38,286
Other team has
pulled their goalie,
it's wide open.
404
00:25:38,454 --> 00:25:40,538
All you gotta do
is tap it in.
405
00:25:41,415 --> 00:25:42,916
I can do that.
406
00:25:52,176 --> 00:25:53,802
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
407
00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,646
Don't worry about it.
You're still in good shape.
408
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:08,399
All you gotta do is
just tap it in.
Just tap it in, now.
409
00:26:09,193 --> 00:26:11,361
Hey, just tap it in.
410
00:26:17,034 --> 00:26:18,076
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
411
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,538
Just tap it in.
Just tap it in.
412
00:26:21,622 --> 00:26:24,624
Give it a little tappy.
Tap, tap, tap-a-roo.
413
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:32,382
Grandma, Grandma,
Grandma, Grandma.
414
00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:37,762
All right! Yeah!
415
00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:51,234
He's gonna be on the Tour.
That's super.
416
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,777
(GRUNTING)
417
00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:54,070
(EXCLAIMING)
418
00:26:54,655 --> 00:26:56,322
That's cute.
419
00:26:57,324 --> 00:26:59,909
Mr. Gilmore,
Virginia Venit.
420
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:03,496
Hi, I'm PR Director
for the Tour.
Nice to meet you.
421
00:27:03,581 --> 00:27:06,374
I just wanted to say welcome
and congratulations.
422
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:10,169
I saw that hole in one
on a par four. That's gotta be
some kind of record, huh?
423
00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:11,713
Hey, I got
a hockey record.
424
00:27:11,797 --> 00:27:13,882
I took my skate off
and tried to stab somebody.
425
00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:16,134
I'm the only guy
who ever did that.
426
00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:17,343
That's wonderful.
427
00:27:17,428 --> 00:27:18,887
I'm a little bit bummed,
though, you know.
428
00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,805
I thought we were gonna
get some money for this.
429
00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:25,602
Oh, well, cheer up.
Next week in Portland, the
winner takes home $216,000.
430
00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:29,147
How about the guy
who comes in last place?
431
00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:30,523
$2,400.
432
00:27:30,608 --> 00:27:33,651
All right! So no matter what,
I'm gonna get some money.
433
00:27:33,986 --> 00:27:35,028
Yeah.
434
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:40,074
Yeah. Well, I'll see you
next week then.
435
00:27:40,910 --> 00:27:42,660
All right, bye.
Bye-bye.
436
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:48,374
Hey, man,
I hate to admit this,
but this is my first trophy.
437
00:27:48,459 --> 00:27:50,793
Only problem is
that goofy golf guy on top.
438
00:27:50,878 --> 00:27:53,671
Maybe the guy at the
trophy store could put
a little hockey guy on there.
439
00:27:53,756 --> 00:27:55,882
Happy, shut your trap.
All right.
440
00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:58,092
I gotta admit,
you were great
out there today.
441
00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,511
Thank you.
But you weren't that great.
442
00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:01,971
A lot of that was luck.
443
00:28:02,056 --> 00:28:04,682
Well,
some might call it luck.
I like to call it,
444
00:28:04,892 --> 00:28:06,643
well, luck, I guess.
So what?
445
00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:09,103
So I want you to put off
joining the Pro Tour
for a while.
446
00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:11,272
We got a lot of work to do
before you go out there
447
00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:12,690
and compete with those
real professionals.
448
00:28:12,775 --> 00:28:14,108
Forget it, Chubbs,
I learned a lot today.
449
00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:15,443
I'll pick up the rest
as I go along.
450
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:16,778
Stop being a damn fool!
451
00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:19,447
People would kill to be able
to hit the long ball like you.
452
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:22,659
You got an advantage
over any man that
walks out onto the tee.
453
00:28:22,743 --> 00:28:25,203
All we need to do
is develop the rest
of your game.
454
00:28:25,287 --> 00:28:27,163
Then, you'd be
unstoppable, son.
455
00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:29,832
You're probably right,
but I just can't wait.
I need money.
456
00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:32,961
That's spoken like
a true asshole. Look,
just give me six months.
457
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:34,963
I'll work with you every day.
458
00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:39,884
No, no, no, no, no, no,
I got to go. I appreciate
everything. Wish me luck.
459
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:46,307
Best of luck, kid.
Best of luck.
460
00:28:46,934 --> 00:28:50,103
Marty, if you'd stop yapping
your trap for a second,
I could tell you.
461
00:28:50,187 --> 00:28:52,397
The price is
$200 per quilt.
462
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:55,817
Yeah, well, this is
handmade quality shit
we're talking here.
463
00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:58,653
Yes, well, when do you
need them by? All right.
464
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:00,488
Good doing business with you.
465
00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:03,992
Okay, listen up everybody.
Turn up your volumes.
Announcement.
466
00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:08,037
I got good news.
We're extending arts and
crafts time by 4 hours today.
467
00:29:08,122 --> 00:29:09,706
My fingers hurt.
468
00:29:09,957 --> 00:29:11,290
What's that?
469
00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:13,668
My fingers hurt.
470
00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:19,924
Now your back's gonna hurt,
'cause you just pulled
landscaping duty.
471
00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:22,301
Anybody else's fingers hurt?
472
00:29:24,013 --> 00:29:25,430
I didn't think so.
473
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:28,349
Why do you
do that to me, huh?
474
00:29:28,434 --> 00:29:30,601
Why do you make me
act like that in front of
everybody, huh?
475
00:29:30,686 --> 00:29:33,604
Mr. Gilmore!
Hey, toidy's straight down
to the right, dear.
476
00:29:33,689 --> 00:29:35,148
How's my grandma?
She's super.
477
00:29:35,232 --> 00:29:37,358
We're just enjoying
some arts and crafts
time right now.
478
00:29:37,443 --> 00:29:39,068
Grandma's quite a quilter.
479
00:29:39,153 --> 00:29:41,821
Hey.
Wow, that's a tremendous
looking trophy.
480
00:29:41,905 --> 00:29:46,325
Happy, I'm so glad to see you.
I'm glad to see you, too,
Grandma.
481
00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:48,911
I've been thinking
about you all the time.
482
00:29:49,038 --> 00:29:51,706
Looks like everybody's
having fun here, huh?
483
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:52,915
Yeah.
484
00:29:56,879 --> 00:30:00,381
Grandma, good news.
I made the
Professional Golfers' Tour.
485
00:30:00,466 --> 00:30:03,009
That's lovely, dear.
Yeah, it is lovely.
486
00:30:03,093 --> 00:30:04,385
You know what else
is lovely?
487
00:30:04,470 --> 00:30:07,388
If I can figure out
a way to beat
those other guys,
488
00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:09,057
we're gonna get
the house back.
489
00:30:09,141 --> 00:30:10,767
Oh, thank God!
490
00:30:10,851 --> 00:30:13,519
I can't stand to live
in this place another minute.
491
00:30:13,604 --> 00:30:15,813
What are you talking about?
I thought you like it here.
492
00:30:15,898 --> 00:30:18,441
That orderly guy
seems very nice.
Don't you like him?
493
00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:21,569
Oh, I do. I do.
It's just...
494
00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:25,073
Well, the air conditioner's
broken. I'm getting
a little warm.
495
00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:27,450
Well, just let the kid
fix it for you.
496
00:30:27,785 --> 00:30:30,620
All right,
got the little twisty knobs.
497
00:30:31,872 --> 00:30:33,998
That ain't doing it.
All right.
498
00:30:36,126 --> 00:30:37,710
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
499
00:30:37,795 --> 00:30:39,504
Mister! Mister!
500
00:30:39,797 --> 00:30:42,465
Get this off of me! Mister!
501
00:30:42,591 --> 00:30:44,425
Hang on, I'll be right down!
502
00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:48,596
You know that
''mister, mister'' lady?
I think I just killed her.
503
00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:49,597
You know that
''mister, mister'' lady?
I think I just killed her.
504
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:05,446
What'd you expect?
Norman spends more time in the
sand than David Hasselhoff.
505
00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:09,784
Come on, that's funny.
Yeah, it was funny
the first time I heard it.
506
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:13,579
Drink up, would you?
Hey, anybody tapped
a keg yet? I'll pump.
507
00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:17,125
Right. I'm Happy Gilmore.
What's up?
Hey, Happy, Mark Lye.
508
00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:18,668
Welcome to the Tour.
Thanks.
509
00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:22,213
Yeah, I heard about that ace
you had on that par four.
Man, that's impressive.
510
00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:24,298
You heard about that?
Yeah.
511
00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:26,509
That's cool.
That's a nice jacket.
512
00:31:26,593 --> 00:31:29,846
Yeah, it is, isn't it?
They give you one if you
win the Tour Championship.
513
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:31,806
Oh, yeah?
What's that?
514
00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:34,642
Just only the
biggest tournament
of the year.
515
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,352
Oh, really?
Yeah.
516
00:31:36,436 --> 00:31:37,645
Where's yours?
517
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:39,605
That's good.
It is a good one.
He's a funny guy.
518
00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:41,774
I'll have mine in, what,
three months, guys?
Yeah.
519
00:31:41,859 --> 00:31:43,776
Not if I have anything
to do with it, you won't.
520
00:31:43,861 --> 00:31:45,862
Whoa, look out.
521
00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:47,738
SHOOTER: You better
look out boys.
522
00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:49,282
Hey, if you're not doing
anything later
523
00:31:49,366 --> 00:31:51,492
why don't you join us
at 9:00 on the 9th green?
524
00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:54,537
What happens there?
That's a secret of the pros.
525
00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:56,330
All right, cool.
Thanks, man.
526
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:57,999
All right,
I'm out of here.
527
00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,668
I hear that Asteroids
machine calling my name
from the game room.
528
00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:01,919
So, peace.
529
00:32:02,171 --> 00:32:04,505
Oh, and Happy?
Dress nice, huh?
530
00:32:04,882 --> 00:32:06,549
All right,
all right.
531
00:32:16,894 --> 00:32:18,269
Almost 9:00.
532
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:44,086
Hey, public relations lady,
you see Shooter McGavin
around?
533
00:32:44,171 --> 00:32:45,213
No. Why?
534
00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:47,089
I just need to beat
the living piss out of him.
535
00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:50,301
Wait. Let me guess,
the old ''9th green at 9:00''
trick, huh?
536
00:32:50,385 --> 00:32:52,303
It would appear so,
now wouldn't it?
537
00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:54,096
You're right.
He does deserve a beating.
538
00:32:54,181 --> 00:32:57,058
But if you beat him up
tonight, I've got to
get up in the morning
539
00:32:57,142 --> 00:33:00,603
and explain to the papers
why the new guy on the
Tour beat up Shooter McGavin.
540
00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:02,980
So you see you'd really
be making more work for me.
541
00:33:03,065 --> 00:33:04,607
I wouldn't want to do that.
542
00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:07,944
Listen, don't worry
about Shooter. He's just
threatened by you.
543
00:33:08,028 --> 00:33:10,571
He's worried you're gonna
steal some of his thunder.
544
00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:12,490
That's nice of
you to say.
545
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:18,246
So, all right,
I'm gonna go change now.
Okay.
546
00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:23,751
Hey, my girlfriend's dead,
you know. She fell off a cliff
and died on impact.
547
00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:26,796
Really?
I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah.
548
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:31,175
You know, you should
get some sleep, Gilmore.
549
00:33:31,260 --> 00:33:32,760
Tomorrow's a big day.
550
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,345
You're right. It is.
551
00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:48,943
Hello, everybody.
I'm Verne Lundquist
along with Jack Beard.
552
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:53,364
Looks like we're going to
have a nice crowd here on this
sun-sational April morning
553
00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:56,033
for the 22nd annual
ATandT Invitational.
554
00:33:56,410 --> 00:33:59,662
The field includes
a group of elite golfers
from around the world.
555
00:33:59,746 --> 00:34:03,708
The favorite has to be
Shooter McGavin. He's won
three of the last four.
556
00:34:07,963 --> 00:34:09,213
Thanks, man.
557
00:34:10,007 --> 00:34:11,632
Hey, here's my last $1.
558
00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:13,551
This is the last time
I'm gonna tell you.
559
00:34:13,635 --> 00:34:17,471
Come on, he's just trying
to make some money.
Leave him alone.
560
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:22,393
SHOOTER: I don't
know what it is about this
big winning streak I'm on.
561
00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:25,146
I'm in the zone.
What can I say? The hole
just seems to get bigger.
562
00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:26,814
REPORTER: How does it feel
to be the favorite?
563
00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:28,316
I certainly don't think
I'm the favorite.
564
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,609
With all great players
here today, it's really
anyone's tournament.
565
00:34:30,694 --> 00:34:32,278
I'm just trying to do
the best I can out there.
566
00:34:32,362 --> 00:34:34,196
I tell you,
the real winner today's
the city of Portland.
567
00:34:34,281 --> 00:34:36,240
Every time I come here,
it gets harder to leave.
568
00:34:36,325 --> 00:34:38,117
I think you guys put
something in the water.
569
00:34:38,201 --> 00:34:39,827
Excuse me,
I gotta go play
a little golf.
570
00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:41,037
REPORTER: Good luck.
Thanks.
571
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,957
Hi, I'm a hockey player,
but I'm playing golf today.
572
00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:47,168
Name?
Happy Gilmore.
573
00:34:47,669 --> 00:34:49,628
Oh, the guy with
the long drive.
574
00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:52,965
What's your caddy's name?
You guys haven't
given me one yet.
575
00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:55,593
On the Pro Tour,
you provide your own caddy.
576
00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:56,886
Really?
577
00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:00,097
All right.
578
00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:05,603
Hey, easy with those clubs,
all right? They're antiques.
579
00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:10,316
Gary Potter.
Great to have you
on the Tour, Happy.
580
00:35:10,525 --> 00:35:12,485
I feel a lot of solid energy
coming out of you.
581
00:35:12,569 --> 00:35:15,404
Good positive aura.
Great, great, it's all great.
582
00:35:15,489 --> 00:35:17,406
Yeah, yeah.
Nice to meet you, man.
583
00:35:17,491 --> 00:35:20,826
Is it always like this,
with the TV cameras,
and the people, and stuff?
584
00:35:20,911 --> 00:35:23,371
Yeah, a lot of pressure.
You gotta rise above it.
585
00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:26,665
You gotta harness in
the good energy,
block out the bad.
586
00:35:26,792 --> 00:35:29,210
Harness energy,
block bad.
587
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:32,254
Feel the flow, Happy.
Feel it. It's circular.
588
00:35:32,339 --> 00:35:34,882
It's like a carousel.
You pay the quarter,
you get on the horse.
589
00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:37,009
It goes up and down
and around.
590
00:35:37,094 --> 00:35:40,429
Circular. Circle.
With the music, the flow.
591
00:35:40,555 --> 00:35:41,889
All good things.
592
00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:45,559
Yeah, all right.
Well, great. Thanks a lot.
Nice to meet you, man.
593
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:47,144
Psycho.
594
00:35:47,896 --> 00:35:50,481
Next to tee off,
Happy Gilmore.
595
00:35:51,858 --> 00:35:53,609
All right,
give me a club.
596
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:56,654
I'll get it.
597
00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:10,501
(BLEEPING)
598
00:36:18,927 --> 00:36:20,678
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
599
00:36:21,555 --> 00:36:22,721
Sorry.
600
00:36:27,769 --> 00:36:28,769
Psycho.
601
00:36:42,868 --> 00:36:44,410
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
602
00:36:45,287 --> 00:36:47,955
What a shot
by Happy Gilmore!
603
00:36:48,165 --> 00:36:50,499
Who the hell is Happy Gilmore?
I don't know.
604
00:37:12,397 --> 00:37:13,856
Oh, yeah!
605
00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:18,652
(WHOOPING)
606
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,070
You like that, baby?
607
00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:22,656
Plenty more where that
came from! Yeah!
608
00:37:24,743 --> 00:37:27,244
Get Virginia Venit
in here, immediately.
609
00:37:27,454 --> 00:37:28,871
I think you should
use a five iron.
610
00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:31,248
You think so?
Give me my wedge.
611
00:37:45,222 --> 00:37:48,682
Five iron, huh? Well,
you're fired. Bye-bye.
612
00:38:00,529 --> 00:38:01,987
(EXCLAIMING)
613
00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:05,658
What are you doing,
Happy, riding a bull?
614
00:38:05,742 --> 00:38:07,868
You're acting like
a damn fool!
615
00:38:08,495 --> 00:38:10,162
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
616
00:38:12,082 --> 00:38:13,541
(HOWLING)
617
00:38:13,625 --> 00:38:17,753
Doing the bull dance.
Feeling the flow.
Working it. Working it.
618
00:38:17,837 --> 00:38:19,088
VERNE: On the 18th green
619
00:38:19,172 --> 00:38:21,090
Shooter McGavin is putting
for the win.
620
00:38:21,174 --> 00:38:25,511
Maybe it's just me, but his
crowd seems unusually small
for this type of moment.
621
00:38:26,471 --> 00:38:27,930
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
622
00:38:31,184 --> 00:38:32,851
VERNE: I think most people
have found their way
623
00:38:32,936 --> 00:38:34,478
over to Happy Gilmore.
624
00:38:34,563 --> 00:38:37,314
He's been the talk of
the course today,
with his huge drives
625
00:38:37,399 --> 00:38:39,567
and his amazingly
bizarre behavior.
626
00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:44,446
He's on the 17th green
right now, having a little
trouble closing out his day.
627
00:38:44,614 --> 00:38:47,575
Happy, the ball itself
has its own energy
628
00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:49,285
or life force, if you will.
629
00:38:49,369 --> 00:38:51,870
Its natural environment
is in the hole.
630
00:38:52,622 --> 00:38:54,665
So why don't you
send him home?
631
00:38:55,250 --> 00:38:58,127
His bags are packed.
He's got his airplane tickets.
632
00:38:58,253 --> 00:39:00,004
Bring him to the airport.
633
00:39:00,714 --> 00:39:01,964
Send him home.
634
00:39:02,215 --> 00:39:04,008
Yeah. Send him home.
635
00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:05,926
I'll just send him home.
636
00:39:06,011 --> 00:39:08,429
It's time to go home
there, ball.
637
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:12,057
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
638
00:39:12,142 --> 00:39:13,767
You son of a bitch, ball!
639
00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:17,062
Why didn't you just go home?
That's your home!
640
00:39:17,147 --> 00:39:20,107
Are you too good
for your home?
Answer me!
641
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,818
Suck my white ass, ball!
642
00:39:23,528 --> 00:39:24,570
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
643
00:39:24,654 --> 00:39:26,363
WOMAN 1: Hey!
WOMAN 2: Hey, look out!
644
00:39:26,573 --> 00:39:27,906
(GROANING)
645
00:39:28,617 --> 00:39:31,118
(BLEEPING)
Virginia, put out
a press release concerning
646
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:32,953
Happy Gilmore
being thrown off the Tour.
647
00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:34,705
I want to see a draft
by 6:00 p.m.
648
00:39:34,789 --> 00:39:36,957
You're right.
He was out of line.
649
00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:39,376
His behavior is
completely unacceptable.
650
00:39:39,669 --> 00:39:43,213
But, you know,
golf has been waiting
for a player like this.
651
00:39:43,340 --> 00:39:46,008
A colorful, emotional,
working-class hero.
652
00:39:46,092 --> 00:39:49,470
I will not tolerate
behavior like this.
Gilmore is gone.
653
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:51,305
I just got a call
from the Dallas Open.
654
00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:55,476
Their phones have been
ringing off the hook with
people who want to see Happy.
655
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,436
They just sold out.
Already?
656
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,856
I know, he's a little rough
around the edges,
but let me work with him.
657
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,191
(HAPPY SHOUTING)
658
00:40:02,275 --> 00:40:03,317
(BLEEPING)
659
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,401
Okay.
660
00:40:04,736 --> 00:40:07,237
Fine. But he's
your responsibility.
661
00:40:07,322 --> 00:40:09,531
If he cleans up his act,
he can stay.
662
00:40:09,616 --> 00:40:11,909
If he doesn't,
it's your ass.
663
00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:13,911
And any more of this
664
00:40:14,871 --> 00:40:15,954
(GRUNTING)
665
00:40:17,165 --> 00:40:18,666
and he's gone.
666
00:40:21,503 --> 00:40:23,671
(BLEEPING)
667
00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:28,717
Shooter!
Shooter!
668
00:40:28,802 --> 00:40:30,678
What do you think of
Happy Gilmore?
669
00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:33,972
I didn't get a chance
to see him play.
I was too busy winning.
670
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,684
You gotta admit, though,
it's a hell of a drive.
450 yards, huh?
671
00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:38,936
Yeah, how did he finish,
again? Dead last?
672
00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:41,230
Yeah, yeah.
He had a good day though.
Thanks.
673
00:40:41,314 --> 00:40:43,649
Is it true that he made
a 450-yard hole in one?
674
00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:46,318
Hey, where's my check?
We'll be mailing them out
next week, sir.
675
00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:49,530
No, no, I want mine now.
I don't have
any checks to give.
676
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:53,283
Well, that guy got one, right?
Give me one of them big ones,
I don't care.
677
00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:58,038
Hiya, pal. How about a beer?
Hey, put that on my tab.
678
00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:00,416
That was quite a show
you put on today, Gilmore.
679
00:41:00,542 --> 00:41:02,918
You were the talk
of the tournament.
Wow, thanks a lot.
680
00:41:03,002 --> 00:41:05,629
Yeah. You really crushed
that ball off the tee,
I'll tell you what.
681
00:41:05,714 --> 00:41:08,048
You know, you'd be
something in one of those
long-drive contests.
682
00:41:08,133 --> 00:41:11,635
You can probably get a very
good living, traveling around,
hustling at driving ranges.
683
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:13,303
Thanks, Phil.
That's, that's, that's...
684
00:41:13,388 --> 00:41:16,807
You know, I know
what you're doing right now,
and I don't like it.
685
00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:20,477
So why don't you
just shut your trap
before I put my foot in it.
686
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,897
Don't turn your back on me.
687
00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:26,400
Let's get one thing straight,
this is Shooter's tour.
688
00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:29,862
I've worked hard
my whole life, paid my dues,
and now, it's Shooter's turn.
689
00:41:29,946 --> 00:41:33,240
And Shooter's not about
to let his reign at the top
be spoiled by some freak
690
00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:34,575
sideshow clown.
691
00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:36,326
Did you just
call me a freak?
692
00:41:36,703 --> 00:41:39,246
I was on this tour
for one reason, money.
693
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:41,957
But now I got a new reason,
kicking your ass.
694
00:41:42,041 --> 00:41:44,543
Well, I'd like to
see you try.
695
00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:46,670
Let's do it.
696
00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:48,964
I meant on a golf course.
697
00:41:49,048 --> 00:41:51,091
Hey. Hey, what is
going on here, huh?
698
00:41:51,176 --> 00:41:54,094
I was just looking
for the other half
of this bottle.
699
00:41:54,179 --> 00:41:57,306
And... Oh, there's some of it.
There's some,
right there, too.
700
00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:59,850
Why don't you just
put it down?
Yeah, I know.
701
00:42:00,602 --> 00:42:04,980
Just stay out of my way,
or you'll pay.
Listen to what I say.
702
00:42:05,148 --> 00:42:07,107
How about I just
go eat some hay?
703
00:42:07,192 --> 00:42:10,110
I could make things
out of clay and
lay by the bay.
704
00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:12,112
I just may.
What do you say?
705
00:42:17,452 --> 00:42:20,120
VIRGINIA: You better calm down
or you're gonna get
kicked off this Tour.
706
00:42:20,205 --> 00:42:21,455
HAPPY: That can't happen.
707
00:42:21,539 --> 00:42:23,624
Yes, it can happen,
and I don't want it to happen.
708
00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:25,501
You could be
a big star on the Tour.
709
00:42:25,585 --> 00:42:27,628
I don't wanna be a big star,
I wanna make some money.
710
00:42:27,712 --> 00:42:29,963
You're not going to be around
long enough to make money
711
00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,256
unless you start behaving.
712
00:42:31,341 --> 00:42:33,509
All right, take it easy.
What do you mean
by ''behaving''?
713
00:42:33,593 --> 00:42:35,886
I mean, no swearing,
no throwing clubs
714
00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:38,806
and especially
no hitting other players.
715
00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:41,058
Oh, good, you mean no fun.
No, no, no.
716
00:42:41,142 --> 00:42:42,726
No, you can have fun.
717
00:42:42,811 --> 00:42:45,479
And that's why I think people
are gonna come to see you.
718
00:42:45,563 --> 00:42:47,856
But you've got to
keep it within reason.
719
00:42:48,650 --> 00:42:51,777
All right, I will work on
what you call ''behaving.''
720
00:42:51,861 --> 00:42:53,862
But I ain't gonna
act like a stiff out there.
721
00:42:53,947 --> 00:42:55,614
Fine. Thank you.
722
00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:01,537
What are doing now?
You wanna get some food?
723
00:43:01,621 --> 00:43:04,248
No thanks.
I don't date golfers.
724
00:43:04,332 --> 00:43:06,542
Good, 'cause
I'm a hockey player.
725
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:10,963
Just behave, okay?
726
00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:13,841
VERNE: Happy Gilmore makes
his way to the tee
727
00:43:13,842 --> 00:43:16,260
VERNE: Happy Gilmore makes
his way to the tee
728
00:43:16,344 --> 00:43:18,095
in the 72nd annual
Cleveland Classic.
729
00:43:18,721 --> 00:43:21,765
Hey, Happy Gilmore!
Drive it 400 yards!
730
00:43:21,850 --> 00:43:24,518
Oh, my God. I mean,
I can't believe I have fans.
731
00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,520
I've been waiting
my whole life for this.
732
00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:27,604
Uh-oh.
733
00:43:27,772 --> 00:43:29,606
Don't be alarmed,
Mr. Gilmore.
734
00:43:29,691 --> 00:43:32,860
I know we had our problems,
but I'm truly proud of you.
735
00:43:33,236 --> 00:43:35,696
Hey, thanks a lot,
Mr. Larson.
736
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:37,114
It's good to see you again.
737
00:43:37,198 --> 00:43:39,867
How's that thing feeling?
738
00:43:40,201 --> 00:43:42,703
Terrific. The nail
comes out next week.
739
00:43:42,787 --> 00:43:44,955
Well, you can
hardly even notice it.
740
00:43:49,294 --> 00:43:51,211
Let's make a little
noise here, huh?
741
00:43:53,298 --> 00:43:55,465
Come on! I can't hear you!
742
00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,369
Trying to reach the green
from here, Shooter?
743
00:44:24,454 --> 00:44:26,163
That's not possible, sir.
744
00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:27,706
I beg to differ.
745
00:44:27,916 --> 00:44:31,543
Happy Gilmore
accomplished that feat
no more than an hour ago.
746
00:44:31,711 --> 00:44:35,297
Well, moron,
good for Happy Gilmore...
Oh, my God!
747
00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:47,225
SHOOTER: Oh, my God.
748
00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:55,108
Come on.
749
00:44:55,193 --> 00:44:58,028
LARSON: Hey, Shooter, haven't
you forgotten your nine iron?
750
00:44:58,196 --> 00:44:59,947
(LARSON LAUGHING)
751
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:02,032
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
752
00:45:02,659 --> 00:45:07,204
Quite a large and economically
diverse crowd here
at the Michelob Invitational.
753
00:45:07,288 --> 00:45:10,248
I guess it's the new
tour sensation,
Happy Gilmore,
754
00:45:10,333 --> 00:45:13,502
who's attracting
all sorts of people
to this beautiful course.
755
00:45:13,586 --> 00:45:16,171
Jack, I think I even saw
one guy wearing one of those
756
00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:18,548
beer-dispensing
plastic helmets.
757
00:45:27,684 --> 00:45:30,602
Damn you people.
Go back to your shanties.
758
00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:35,315
This is a biggie, pal.
Time's ticking away.
I got to make some real money.
759
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,985
What do you think?
Slightly downhill?
760
00:45:38,069 --> 00:45:39,319
And slanting left.
761
00:45:39,404 --> 00:45:42,614
No, no, it just seems
that way 'cause you only
got one shoe on.
762
00:45:44,158 --> 00:45:45,325
Oh, yeah.
763
00:45:49,205 --> 00:45:50,580
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
764
00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:33,206
You got the ball?
765
00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:44,509
VERNE: Happy Gilmore
from nine feet.
766
00:46:44,844 --> 00:46:46,762
Here comes the putter throw.
767
00:46:46,971 --> 00:46:51,391
Wait. He's restrained himself.
Maybe this is
a new Happy Gilmore.
768
00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:54,019
WOMAN 1: Very good.
WOMAN 2: Yeah.
769
00:46:56,147 --> 00:46:59,524
Another tournament
in Dallas, and another
Shooter McGavin victory.
770
00:46:59,609 --> 00:47:01,985
He's now won here
three years in a row.
771
00:47:10,620 --> 00:47:12,412
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
772
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:17,042
That son of a bitch!
773
00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:22,047
Give me my ball! Give it here!
Cough it up,
you dirty bastard!
774
00:47:22,131 --> 00:47:25,133
I swear to God,
I'll rip it out of you!
Give me the...
775
00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:27,427
Give me the ball, alligator.
776
00:47:29,514 --> 00:47:30,680
(SCREAMING)
777
00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:33,558
You've got one eye.
778
00:47:35,144 --> 00:47:36,353
Chubbs.
779
00:47:37,105 --> 00:47:38,563
You took his hand.
780
00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:51,034
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
781
00:47:51,202 --> 00:47:52,202
(GRUNTING)
782
00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:23,066
That Happy Gilmore,
he's a real crack-up,
isn't he?
783
00:48:23,151 --> 00:48:24,651
Yeah.
I mean, he's a hoot!
784
00:48:24,735 --> 00:48:27,654
Well, he's bringing in
some big crowds.
Yeah.
785
00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:30,615
You know,
what was great today,
one of his fans mooned me
786
00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:32,284
and had ''Happy''
written on his ass.
787
00:48:32,368 --> 00:48:35,453
''Ha'' on the one cheek,
and then, sure enough, ''P-P-Y''
right there on the other.
788
00:48:35,538 --> 00:48:37,789
I think it's great
what he's doing for the sport.
789
00:48:37,874 --> 00:48:40,083
Well, yeah,
I'm beginning
to come around.
790
00:48:40,168 --> 00:48:42,043
Yeah, everyone seems
to be coming around.
791
00:48:42,128 --> 00:48:43,670
Well, I'm not, Doug!
792
00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,547
This man is destroying golf.
793
00:48:45,631 --> 00:48:49,009
I saw two big, fat,
naked bikers, in the woods
off 17, having sex.
794
00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:51,303
How am I supposed to chip
with that going on, Doug?
795
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:54,514
You've got to kick him
off the Tour.
He's not breaking any rules.
796
00:48:54,599 --> 00:48:57,350
And until he does...
But he's a disgrace
to the game!
797
00:48:57,435 --> 00:48:59,811
You may be right,
but our ratings are up
798
00:48:59,896 --> 00:49:02,272
and we're attracting new,
youthful sponsors.
799
00:49:02,607 --> 00:49:04,065
I'm sorry, Shooter.
800
00:49:04,317 --> 00:49:06,109
There's nothing I can do.
801
00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:12,407
Well, I guess I'll have to
take care of this myself.
802
00:49:13,367 --> 00:49:17,078
Grandma,
I came in ninth place.
I won $35,000.
803
00:49:17,163 --> 00:49:18,997
So we'll get the house back?
804
00:49:19,081 --> 00:49:22,125
As long as I don't
come in last place
in the next two tournaments,
805
00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:23,877
we'll get the money in time.
806
00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:25,921
That's wonderful, Happy.
807
00:49:26,005 --> 00:49:27,756
I love you, Grandma. Bye.
808
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:29,341
Goodbye, darling.
809
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:35,555
Hey, Virginia.
810
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,141
You know we should
go on that date. I have
been pretty good lately.
811
00:49:38,226 --> 00:49:40,018
Oh, really?
What is this
I hear about you
812
00:49:40,102 --> 00:49:41,853
breaking a rake
and throwing it
into the woods?
813
00:49:41,938 --> 00:49:45,690
What? I didn't break it.
I was just testing
its durability.
814
00:49:45,775 --> 00:49:48,735
And then I placed it
in the woods because
it's made of wood
815
00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:51,154
and I just thought
he should be with his family.
816
00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:54,282
At least I didn't
punch anybody.
817
00:49:55,076 --> 00:49:58,912
All right. Okay,
we'll go on a date. But
just as friends, all right?
818
00:49:59,372 --> 00:50:02,749
Yeah, just as friends.
Slow down. I don't want
to be more than friends.
819
00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:04,417
I just met you.
820
00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:09,881
HAPPY: They fit you okay?
821
00:50:09,966 --> 00:50:12,926
Yeah, I haven't skated
since I was a little kid so...
822
00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:18,431
Hey, pal, can we
get a little time here?
823
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:23,103
For Happy Gilmore, anything.
Thanks.
824
00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:28,608
You used to play ice hockey?
Shut up.
825
00:50:31,112 --> 00:50:32,946
Oh, my God, power failure.
826
00:50:33,281 --> 00:50:35,282
It's getting very
scary in here.
827
00:50:35,574 --> 00:50:37,659
Did you set this up?
No.
828
00:50:37,743 --> 00:50:39,703
(ENDLESS LOVE PLAYING)
829
00:50:42,665 --> 00:50:45,375
I thought we were
gonna be just friends.
830
00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:49,546
What? Friends listen to
Endless Love in the dark.
831
00:51:03,728 --> 00:51:07,105
This song reminds me
of seventh grade.
832
00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:10,108
This song reminds me
of my grandmother.
833
00:51:10,401 --> 00:51:11,735
That's kind of weird.
834
00:51:11,819 --> 00:51:13,862
She took me
to see this movie.
835
00:51:13,946 --> 00:51:16,197
I, like,
got the biggest crush
on Brooke Shields.
836
00:51:16,282 --> 00:51:17,866
Really?
Yeah.
837
00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:22,078
And my grandma told me
I should write her a letter,
you know, so I did.
838
00:51:22,413 --> 00:51:25,248
And I got a letter back
from Brooke like
two weeks later
839
00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:28,084
but it was in my
grandmother's handwriting.
840
00:51:29,086 --> 00:51:30,920
Your grandma sounds sweet.
841
00:51:31,047 --> 00:51:34,257
She is sweet.
That's why I feel
so terrible.
842
00:51:34,967 --> 00:51:36,051
Why?
843
00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,095
No, no, forget it.
844
00:51:40,056 --> 00:51:42,557
No, no, no.
It's okay,
you can tell me.
845
00:51:43,267 --> 00:51:45,602
It's just she's stuck
in a damn nursing home.
846
00:51:45,686 --> 00:51:47,771
The IRS repossessed
her house.
847
00:51:48,439 --> 00:51:49,773
That's awful.
848
00:51:50,024 --> 00:51:51,649
That's why I
joined the Tour
849
00:51:51,734 --> 00:51:54,069
and I'm pretty close
to getting her
house back but...
850
00:51:54,153 --> 00:51:57,280
Look, don't tell
anybody about this,
I'm kind of embarrassed.
851
00:51:58,324 --> 00:52:00,742
Don't worry.
I won't tell anybody.
852
00:52:02,078 --> 00:52:04,454
Hey, I'll make you a bet.
853
00:52:05,664 --> 00:52:08,458
Do you always
carry a puck around?
Yeah.
854
00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:14,255
All right, now,
if you get that puck
in that net over there,
855
00:52:14,507 --> 00:52:17,425
I'll never
bother you again.
856
00:52:18,094 --> 00:52:20,887
But if you miss
857
00:52:21,472 --> 00:52:23,973
you gotta give me
a big, fat kiss.
858
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,893
And you got to pretend
that you like it, too.
859
00:52:27,019 --> 00:52:28,186
Really?
860
00:52:28,562 --> 00:52:29,646
Good luck.
861
00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:42,784
(PUCK CLANKING)
862
00:52:42,868 --> 00:52:44,202
Holy shit.
863
00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:47,622
Talk about your
all-time backfires.
864
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:50,291
Happy.
865
00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:55,255
I didn't see it go in.
866
00:53:37,423 --> 00:53:39,424
VERNE: Welcome to
soggy San Francisco,
867
00:53:39,508 --> 00:53:42,177
the site of this year's
Pepsi Pro-Am.
868
00:53:42,887 --> 00:53:45,346
How you doing Happy?
I'm Bob Barker.
869
00:53:45,431 --> 00:53:47,640
Wow, what an honor.
Nice to meet you.
870
00:53:47,725 --> 00:53:50,560
Looks like you and I
are gonna be playing
together today.
871
00:53:51,145 --> 00:53:53,688
That's funny.
Who am I really
playing with?
872
00:53:53,772 --> 00:53:55,106
This is a Pro-Am, Happy.
873
00:53:55,191 --> 00:53:57,609
Each golfer is playing
with a celebrity.
Wow.
874
00:53:57,735 --> 00:54:00,278
You know, Nick Faldo and I
won this thing last year
875
00:54:00,362 --> 00:54:02,322
and I'd like to win it
again this year.
876
00:54:02,406 --> 00:54:04,240
All right,
I'll do my best.
877
00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:06,451
Hey, Gilmore?
878
00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:09,329
You suck,
you jackass.
879
00:54:09,580 --> 00:54:11,247
Why don't you
shut the hell up?
880
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,335
I'd love to punch that guy
in the face right now
881
00:54:15,419 --> 00:54:17,420
but I can't, you know,
because I'd get in trouble.
882
00:54:17,505 --> 00:54:19,547
I bet you got a lot of that
on Let's Make A Deal.
883
00:54:19,632 --> 00:54:21,758
It's The Price Is Right,
Happy.
884
00:54:21,926 --> 00:54:23,092
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
885
00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:25,595
It happens.
Let's play some golf.
Okay.
886
00:54:31,101 --> 00:54:32,435
Jackass.
887
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,145
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
888
00:54:36,190 --> 00:54:38,441
The club went further
than the ball.
889
00:54:39,652 --> 00:54:41,569
What the hell was
that all about?
890
00:54:41,654 --> 00:54:45,156
It's just that, you know,
it's rainy, and that guy,
and it just...
891
00:54:45,241 --> 00:54:46,824
It just slipped.
892
00:54:53,457 --> 00:54:56,167
You're gonna need a blanket
and suntan lotion
893
00:54:56,252 --> 00:54:58,545
'cause you're never gonna
get off that beach!
894
00:54:58,629 --> 00:55:02,340
Just the way you never
got into the NHL,
you jackass!
895
00:55:05,469 --> 00:55:06,761
(DONALD LAUGHING)
896
00:55:09,598 --> 00:55:11,808
The green's that way.
You're...
897
00:55:18,857 --> 00:55:21,693
You will not
make this putt,
you jackass.
898
00:55:27,658 --> 00:55:29,534
Nice shooting, soldier.
899
00:55:29,994 --> 00:55:31,661
(DONALD LAUGHING)
900
00:55:33,622 --> 00:55:35,665
All right, Happy,
901
00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:37,750
nice and easy.
902
00:55:41,714 --> 00:55:43,172
(DONALD LAUGHING)
903
00:55:43,340 --> 00:55:45,675
That was not nice and easy.
904
00:55:50,222 --> 00:55:52,181
That guy's driving me crazy.
905
00:55:52,516 --> 00:55:56,394
You know what's
driving me crazy? You not
getting the ball in the hole.
906
00:55:56,687 --> 00:55:59,314
Don't push me, Bob.
Now's not the time.
907
00:56:04,194 --> 00:56:05,486
DONALD: Jackass.
908
00:56:06,739 --> 00:56:07,739
(GROANING)
909
00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:11,826
This guy sucks.
910
00:56:11,910 --> 00:56:13,244
(DONALD LAUGHING)
911
00:56:13,329 --> 00:56:17,498
We haven't seen Happy Gilmore
play this badly since
his first day on Tour.
912
00:56:17,708 --> 00:56:20,752
He and Bob Barker
are now dead last.
913
00:56:21,170 --> 00:56:23,212
I can't believe you're
a professional golfer.
914
00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:25,590
I think you should be working
at the snack bar.
915
00:56:25,674 --> 00:56:27,133
You better relax, Bob.
916
00:56:27,217 --> 00:56:31,721
There is no way that you
could have been as bad at
hockey as you are at golf.
917
00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:33,348
All right, let's go.
918
00:56:33,599 --> 00:56:35,058
(GROANING)
919
00:56:35,142 --> 00:56:38,102
You like that, old man?
You want a piece of me?
920
00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:42,190
I don't want a piece of you.
I want the whole thing!
921
00:56:44,902 --> 00:56:46,694
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
922
00:56:57,289 --> 00:56:59,582
Now you're gonna
get it, Bobby!
923
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:19,686
MAN: Happy!
924
00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:21,854
The price is wrong, bitch.
925
00:57:33,033 --> 00:57:34,826
I think you've had enough.
926
00:57:36,036 --> 00:57:37,203
No?
927
00:57:39,581 --> 00:57:41,249
Now you've had enough.
928
00:57:42,209 --> 00:57:43,418
Bitch.
929
00:57:46,380 --> 00:57:48,047
SHOOTER: Wow, that couldn't
have gone any better.
930
00:57:48,132 --> 00:57:50,466
Instead of hitting you,
he hits Bob Barker.
Yeah.
931
00:57:51,176 --> 00:57:52,218
Perfect.
932
00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:54,595
We're good, huh?
So, I'll see you at the
next tournament, right?
933
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:58,683
Oh, no, that won't be
necessary. This was on
national TV. Gilmore's gone.
934
00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:02,812
Well, look, let's get
something to eat. There's a
Red Lobster nearby. My treat.
935
00:58:02,896 --> 00:58:04,313
Maybe some other time.
936
00:58:04,398 --> 00:58:06,774
Shooter, I thought we were
gonna be friends.
937
00:58:06,859 --> 00:58:09,360
Oh, we're friends, we are.
I just got to go.
938
00:58:09,445 --> 00:58:13,281
Okay, well, I'll be at
the Red Lobster in case you
change your mind, Shooter.
939
00:58:13,741 --> 00:58:14,907
God bless!
940
00:58:15,826 --> 00:58:17,076
There you are.
941
00:58:17,161 --> 00:58:19,579
Hey, Happy Gilmore,
come on down!
942
00:58:19,663 --> 00:58:21,998
Thank you, Shooter.
Sit down Mr. Gilmore.
943
00:58:22,875 --> 00:58:26,753
So you had a fight
with a game show host
on national TV.
944
00:58:26,837 --> 00:58:28,880
I don't consider
that entertainment.
945
00:58:28,964 --> 00:58:32,175
This is not hockey,
Mr. Gilmore, no matter
how much you want it to be.
946
00:58:32,259 --> 00:58:35,803
I know that and
I'm sorry, okay,
but it wasn't my fault.
947
00:58:35,888 --> 00:58:37,889
There was some guy out there
giving me crap
948
00:58:37,973 --> 00:58:40,391
and it took every ounce
of my energy not to hit him.
949
00:58:40,476 --> 00:58:43,269
So you decided to
head-butt Bob Barker.
950
00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:45,813
Who won that fight, anyway?
DOUG: That's enough, Shooter.
951
00:58:45,898 --> 00:58:47,982
The board is taking
the following action.
952
00:58:48,066 --> 00:58:50,985
You'll be fined $25,000
and suspended for one month.
953
00:58:51,069 --> 00:58:52,779
Suspended! I got to play!
Suspended!
954
00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:54,739
Doug, kick him
off the Tour.
955
00:58:54,865 --> 00:58:57,658
Well, the board thinks that
that might be extreme
956
00:58:57,743 --> 00:59:01,078
considering the fact
that our ratings were the
957
00:59:01,830 --> 00:59:03,623
highest that we've ever had.
958
00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:06,459
Doug, look,
my grandmother's house
got repossessed.
959
00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:08,795
If I can't make some
prize money in
the next tournament
960
00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:10,880
they could sell it
to somebody else.
961
00:59:10,964 --> 00:59:12,882
Well, whoop-de-doo.
Get out.
962
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:20,807
I don't wanna hear it.
It's over.
963
00:59:20,891 --> 00:59:23,392
My grandmother's
never gonna see
her house again.
964
00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:27,730
Yeah, but you've made
a lot of money. You could
get her a really nice condo.
965
00:59:27,815 --> 00:59:31,150
My grandfather didn't
build any condos
with his bare hands.
966
00:59:31,235 --> 00:59:34,487
God damn it,
I hate that Bob Barker.
967
00:59:34,571 --> 00:59:37,824
Okay, there has
got be another way
to get the $50,000.
968
00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:40,326
I don't even want to
talk about it anymore,
all right?
969
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:41,994
I failed, okay?
970
00:59:42,246 --> 00:59:45,873
Let me just sit here and enjoy
the one thing that makes me
a little bit happy,
971
00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:48,918
this fresh, delicious, tasty,
972
00:59:49,086 --> 00:59:51,295
meaty, turkey-filled...
973
00:59:51,421 --> 00:59:56,425
Cold Cut Combo.
I eat three every day
to help keep me strong.
974
00:59:56,510 --> 00:59:59,303
Hey, Happy,
can I have one of those?
975
00:59:59,930 --> 01:00:01,597
Coming right up!
976
01:00:07,229 --> 01:00:09,689
Talk about a hole in one.
977
01:00:09,940 --> 01:00:12,942
PRESENTER: Subway sandwiches
will drive away your hunger.
978
01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:15,945
What do you think,
Grandma Gilmore?
I love it.
979
01:00:16,029 --> 01:00:18,865
And he looks so handsome.
And it makes me hungry.
980
01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:22,869
Oh, really? Well, they gave me
this card. It gives us
free Subway for life.
981
01:00:22,953 --> 01:00:24,328
That's lovely, dear.
982
01:00:24,413 --> 01:00:26,414
Lovely. You know
what else is lovely?
983
01:00:26,498 --> 01:00:29,834
That commercial
put us up to $275,000.
984
01:00:30,252 --> 01:00:32,879
Let's go get your house back.
Oh, Happy.
985
01:00:42,014 --> 01:00:43,556
What the hell?
986
01:00:47,269 --> 01:00:48,311
Hey!
987
01:00:48,812 --> 01:00:52,481
What's going on here?
I'm glad you made it.
This is very exciting.
988
01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:54,567
We're gonna auction off
your grandmother's house.
989
01:00:54,651 --> 01:00:58,112
Hey, hold it. You said
if we got the money by today,
we could buy the house back.
990
01:00:58,196 --> 01:00:59,989
Right, you can buy
the house back.
991
01:01:00,073 --> 01:01:02,992
Bidding will start at $100,00.
100, do I hear the 100?
992
01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:05,453
This is the exciting part.
Have fun.
993
01:01:06,830 --> 01:01:10,166
Look at all these people.
What's going on, Happy?
994
01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:12,168
175, thank you,
and a two. Two now.
995
01:01:12,252 --> 01:01:14,003
Oh, my God.
They're auctioning off
the house.
996
01:01:14,087 --> 01:01:15,212
No, no, no,
this could be good.
997
01:01:15,297 --> 01:01:17,381
We'll get the house back
cheaper than we thought.
998
01:01:17,466 --> 01:01:19,675
250 and 225, thank you.
50, I have.
999
01:01:20,135 --> 01:01:22,178
Maybe not. 275!
1000
01:01:22,429 --> 01:01:24,805
And 275, new bidder
in the middle.
And a three. Three, now.
1001
01:01:24,890 --> 01:01:27,350
MAN: 350!
350 down front, and a 375.
1002
01:01:27,434 --> 01:01:30,353
I have 350 down front,
and a 75. 75, anywhere?
1003
01:01:30,437 --> 01:01:34,065
At $350,000 down front,
sold to the gentleman
with the white sweater.
1004
01:01:34,149 --> 01:01:35,900
What just happened, Happy?
1005
01:01:37,277 --> 01:01:39,195
Go wait in the car, Grandma.
1006
01:01:39,863 --> 01:01:42,865
Hey! What the hell
is the matter with you?
1007
01:01:43,325 --> 01:01:45,868
Well, real estate speculation
is a hobby of mine.
1008
01:01:46,995 --> 01:01:48,329
You lay another finger on me,
1009
01:01:48,413 --> 01:01:51,082
I burn the house down
and piss on the ashes.
1010
01:01:51,291 --> 01:01:53,459
What do you want
for it, Shooter?
1011
01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:56,545
You know what I want.
You off the Tour.
1012
01:01:57,047 --> 01:01:59,465
Quit, and the house is yours.
1013
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:01,842
Fine. I quit.
VIRGINIA: Oh, no, he doesn't.
1014
01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:05,304
Happy, I need to talk to you.
What? He's a jerk,
but he's right.
1015
01:02:05,389 --> 01:02:07,390
I don't belong in this sport.
I'm a hockey player.
1016
01:02:07,474 --> 01:02:10,184
Oh, really? What team
do you play for?
Easy.
1017
01:02:10,268 --> 01:02:13,229
Face it, Happy.
You are a golfer.
1018
01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:16,482
Look, I did this
so I could get
Grandma's house back.
1019
01:02:16,566 --> 01:02:18,567
Now I can. No regrets.
1020
01:02:18,652 --> 01:02:20,319
What do you think
Grandma wants more:
1021
01:02:20,404 --> 01:02:23,781
to get her house back
or to see her
grandson succeed?
1022
01:02:26,118 --> 01:02:28,494
Yeah, maybe there's
a way she can have both.
1023
01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:30,371
Hey, Shooter.
Yeah.
1024
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:33,416
Tour Championship's
next week, right?
That's right.
1025
01:02:33,500 --> 01:02:37,169
If I beat you,
I get the house back.
You beat me, I'll quit.
1026
01:02:37,337 --> 01:02:39,755
You're gonna beat me?
At golf?
1027
01:02:40,674 --> 01:02:41,966
(LAUGHING)
1028
01:02:42,259 --> 01:02:43,592
Oh, you're on.
1029
01:02:44,344 --> 01:02:48,097
You're in big trouble though,
pal. I eat pieces of shit
like you for breakfast.
1030
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:50,641
You eat pieces of shit
for breakfast?
1031
01:02:52,185 --> 01:02:53,227
No.
1032
01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:01,360
That was great.
I know you are
gonna kick his ass.
1033
01:03:01,695 --> 01:03:03,279
Yeah, that makes one of us.
1034
01:03:03,613 --> 01:03:06,490
All right, look,
take care of Grandma.
I can walk from here.
1035
01:03:06,616 --> 01:03:09,493
Where are you going?
I got to learn
how to play golf.
1036
01:03:12,330 --> 01:03:14,457
I'm stupid, you're smart.
1037
01:03:15,417 --> 01:03:17,460
I was wrong, you were right.
1038
01:03:18,211 --> 01:03:20,463
You're the best,
I'm the worst.
1039
01:03:21,131 --> 01:03:24,759
You're very good-looking,
I'm not attractive.
1040
01:03:24,843 --> 01:03:28,262
All right, as long as
you're willing to admit that.
1041
01:03:29,014 --> 01:03:33,059
Now, are you ready to get down
to business and do exactly
what I tell you to do?
1042
01:03:33,143 --> 01:03:34,727
Believe me, I'm ready.
1043
01:03:35,896 --> 01:03:37,938
Then let's get to work.
All right.
1044
01:03:39,357 --> 01:03:41,484
I'm sorry. Here.
1045
01:03:42,986 --> 01:03:44,320
Here's your pinky.
1046
01:03:51,745 --> 01:03:53,704
Hey, Happy Land,
just like me.
1047
01:03:54,122 --> 01:03:56,832
Don't get excited, kid.
I've been here before.
1048
01:03:59,586 --> 01:04:03,506
This is embarrassing.
I'm a professional golfer,
for God's sake.
1049
01:04:03,673 --> 01:04:07,218
No, it's your short game
that's embarrassing.
Come on, let's go.
1050
01:04:13,850 --> 01:04:14,850
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)
1051
01:04:14,893 --> 01:04:15,893
(CLATTERING)
1052
01:04:21,358 --> 01:04:22,441
Okay.
1053
01:04:22,526 --> 01:04:25,653
This time,
just line up your putt.
Don't even look at the hole.
1054
01:04:26,238 --> 01:04:28,864
Aim for a spot six inches
in front of the ball.
1055
01:04:28,949 --> 01:04:31,117
Line up a spot six inches
in front of the ball.
1056
01:04:31,201 --> 01:04:33,702
Okay. Six inches.
Yes!
1057
01:04:56,184 --> 01:04:58,269
CHUBBS: All right,
this one's very tough.
1058
01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:01,897
(LAUGHING)
1059
01:05:02,149 --> 01:05:03,190
(IMITATING CLOWN)
1060
01:05:03,275 --> 01:05:05,025
He's laughing,
he's having a good time.
1061
01:05:05,110 --> 01:05:07,862
Good for you.
Yeah, laugh it up.
Enjoy your night.
1062
01:05:08,405 --> 01:05:10,239
Come on, Happy,
concentrate.
1063
01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:15,744
(LAUGHING)
1064
01:05:17,330 --> 01:05:19,832
I hate that clown.
Easy.
1065
01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:23,586
If you can't beat the clown,
how you gonna beat
Shooter McGavin?
1066
01:05:28,967 --> 01:05:30,092
Yeah!
1067
01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:32,303
(LAUGHING)
1068
01:05:32,387 --> 01:05:34,263
You're gonna die, clown!
1069
01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:38,601
You think that's funny?
I don't hear you laughing now!
1070
01:05:38,685 --> 01:05:40,519
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Enough, enough.
1071
01:05:40,604 --> 01:05:42,188
What? I can't do it!
1072
01:05:42,564 --> 01:05:44,064
Come with me, Happy.
1073
01:05:44,649 --> 01:05:45,941
Come on!
1074
01:05:46,401 --> 01:05:48,360
Fuck, you stupid clown!
Come on.
1075
01:05:50,655 --> 01:05:52,615
Remember, now,
this isn't hockey.
1076
01:05:52,699 --> 01:05:54,992
You don't play
with raw emotion.
1077
01:05:55,535 --> 01:05:57,244
You can't putt angry.
1078
01:05:57,329 --> 01:06:00,956
You have to clear your mind
of everything else,
and stay focused.
1079
01:06:02,542 --> 01:06:04,084
(ALARM BLARING)
1080
01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:08,005
Now how the hell
am I gonna do that?
1081
01:06:08,089 --> 01:06:11,050
Think of a place
that's really perfect.
1082
01:06:11,676 --> 01:06:13,719
Your own happy place.
1083
01:06:14,137 --> 01:06:17,306
Go there,
and all your anger
will just disappear.
1084
01:06:17,766 --> 01:06:19,099
Then, putt.
1085
01:06:19,809 --> 01:06:21,143
Happy place.
1086
01:06:21,478 --> 01:06:23,020
Happy place.
1087
01:06:23,688 --> 01:06:25,356
Your happy place.
1088
01:06:55,303 --> 01:06:57,846
Now how do you feel?
Better.
1089
01:06:58,265 --> 01:06:59,348
Now putt.
1090
01:07:19,703 --> 01:07:21,578
Yeah!
Yeah!
1091
01:07:21,955 --> 01:07:23,455
Your happy place.
1092
01:07:29,963 --> 01:07:32,506
You really took
some giant steps
out there tonight.
1093
01:07:33,717 --> 01:07:35,843
I'm really proud of you.
Thanks.
1094
01:07:36,303 --> 01:07:37,469
So here.
1095
01:07:38,138 --> 01:07:40,556
I got something
really special for
you here.
1096
01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:42,725
Wow, thanks, Chubbs.
You see that?
1097
01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:46,895
That is the same putter
I used when I played.
Slightly modified, of course.
1098
01:07:46,980 --> 01:07:49,481
Man, this is excellent.
1099
01:07:50,775 --> 01:07:55,404
You got the spirit of a hockey
player in you, Happy, so I
figured, why fight it, huh?
1100
01:07:55,739 --> 01:07:58,324
I got something
for you, too, pal.
What?
1101
01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:01,994
Yeah. I mean, I figured if it
wasn't for you, none of this
would have happened, right?
1102
01:08:02,078 --> 01:08:04,496
So I wanted to
show my appreciation.
1103
01:08:08,460 --> 01:08:10,627
This looks nice.
What is it, huh?
1104
01:08:10,712 --> 01:08:12,755
Open it up.
Shit.
1105
01:08:13,465 --> 01:08:14,631
Oh, man.
1106
01:08:14,716 --> 01:08:17,926
Remember the gator
that got your hand?
I got his head.
1107
01:08:21,514 --> 01:08:22,806
Chubbs!
1108
01:08:22,891 --> 01:08:24,099
Chubbs!
1109
01:08:31,483 --> 01:08:33,609
First my dad
and now Chubbs.
1110
01:08:34,527 --> 01:08:37,946
Anybody I get close to dies.
If I were you, I'd run.
1111
01:08:38,156 --> 01:08:40,657
No, no, you can't
blame yourself for this.
1112
01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:44,328
I guess that alligator
finally finished the job, huh?
1113
01:08:44,662 --> 01:08:46,497
I'm gonna miss you, pal.
1114
01:08:54,839 --> 01:08:56,715
I don't know how the hell
I'm gonna play today?
1115
01:08:56,800 --> 01:08:58,842
Look, just remember
everything that he taught you.
1116
01:08:58,927 --> 01:09:00,928
Congratulations,
murderer.
1117
01:09:01,471 --> 01:09:03,097
You killed a golf legend.
1118
01:09:03,181 --> 01:09:05,724
Beat it, McGavin.
You know what I'm gonna do?
1119
01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:08,102
I'm gonna dedicate
my performance
at the Tour Championship
1120
01:09:08,186 --> 01:09:09,520
to Chubbs' memory.
1121
01:09:09,604 --> 01:09:11,730
To hell with that,
I'm playing for Chubbs.
1122
01:09:12,190 --> 01:09:13,690
I called it first.
1123
01:09:13,817 --> 01:09:17,194
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You want to beat him?
Beat him on the course.
1124
01:09:17,278 --> 01:09:19,530
That's right, I'm gonna beat
your ass on the course.
1125
01:09:19,614 --> 01:09:22,408
Yeah, right.
And Grizzly Adams
had a beard.
1126
01:09:22,742 --> 01:09:24,785
Grizzly Adams
did have a beard.
1127
01:09:27,914 --> 01:09:31,125
VERNE: The golfers
of the Tour Championship
are ready to hit the links.
1128
01:09:31,501 --> 01:09:35,212
There may be 63 professionals
vying for the title
of world's best,
1129
01:09:35,296 --> 01:09:38,674
but in the minds of
the spectators,
there are really only two.
1130
01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:40,926
Tour kingpin Shooter McGavin
1131
01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:44,346
and bad boy Happy Gilmore,
fresh off his
recent suspension.
1132
01:09:44,848 --> 01:09:47,724
And wouldn't you know it?
They've been paired together.
1133
01:09:47,809 --> 01:09:51,478
I've got some very interesting
interior design ideas
for Grandma's house.
1134
01:09:51,938 --> 01:09:54,440
You know that bedroom
at the top of the stairs?
1135
01:09:54,524 --> 01:09:56,191
Yeah, that was my room.
1136
01:09:56,276 --> 01:09:58,819
I think I'm turning that
into my trophy room.
1137
01:10:00,113 --> 01:10:01,321
It's perfect.
1138
01:10:05,243 --> 01:10:06,368
WOMAN: Nice.
1139
01:10:11,583 --> 01:10:13,584
It just may not be
big enough.
1140
01:10:14,627 --> 01:10:15,794
All right.
1141
01:10:25,305 --> 01:10:27,014
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1142
01:10:29,934 --> 01:10:33,896
You know what the pathetic
thing is? You've been playing
golf your whole life.
1143
01:10:38,693 --> 01:10:41,195
Let me show you
how we do it in the pros.
1144
01:10:44,741 --> 01:10:46,450
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
1145
01:10:48,244 --> 01:10:49,912
Jeez, that's gotta hurt.
1146
01:10:56,085 --> 01:10:57,711
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1147
01:10:58,004 --> 01:11:00,088
Happy learned how to putt.
1148
01:11:00,423 --> 01:11:01,423
Uh-oh.
1149
01:11:03,635 --> 01:11:05,302
SHOOTER: Here's a free lesson.
1150
01:11:11,559 --> 01:11:13,727
Can't learn that
in a hockey rink.
1151
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:22,319
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
1152
01:11:25,031 --> 01:11:27,533
(MIMICKING WOMAN)
Somebody's closer.
1153
01:11:29,744 --> 01:11:32,579
VERNE: After one day,
Shooter McGavin
is in the lead.
1154
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:35,874
But the big surprise
is young Happy Gilmore,
1155
01:11:36,626 --> 01:11:39,336
nipping at his heels
and trailing by only
one stroke.
1156
01:11:41,381 --> 01:11:42,839
Shooter from the sand.
1157
01:11:42,924 --> 01:11:45,634
Playing like he
really wants that jacket.
1158
01:11:51,599 --> 01:11:54,893
Happy Gilmore
answers right back
with a birdie.
1159
01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:02,359
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1160
01:12:08,324 --> 01:12:10,826
Happy with a long
eagle opportunity.
1161
01:12:12,662 --> 01:12:13,996
It's good!
1162
01:12:14,831 --> 01:12:16,999
And Shooter can't believe it.
1163
01:12:17,333 --> 01:12:20,502
He is now tied
with Happy Gilmore.
1164
01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:26,133
A little too much zip
on that one.
1165
01:12:26,217 --> 01:12:27,843
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
1166
01:12:28,011 --> 01:12:31,096
Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.
1167
01:12:31,347 --> 01:12:32,681
No!
1168
01:12:36,519 --> 01:12:38,103
I didn't see that. Did that go in?
1169
01:12:38,187 --> 01:12:40,897
'Cause I wasn't watching.
Did it go in the...
Did it go in the hole?
1170
01:12:40,982 --> 01:12:43,317
I wasn't watching
and I know I saw it go up.
1171
01:12:43,401 --> 01:12:45,193
Did it come back in?
All right.
1172
01:12:45,987 --> 01:12:49,197
At the end of the third day,
Happy Gilmore
has taken the lead.
1173
01:12:49,282 --> 01:12:51,408
And, Jack, one can't help
but be impressed
1174
01:12:51,492 --> 01:12:53,702
with the vast improvement
in his short game.
1175
01:13:13,139 --> 01:13:15,015
Hey, Donald. Shooter.
1176
01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:17,809
Shooter! Hey,
it's great to
hear from you!
1177
01:13:17,894 --> 01:13:20,687
You wanna go to the Sizzler
and get some grub?
1178
01:13:20,813 --> 01:13:22,481
No thanks, pal.
Not hungry.
1179
01:13:22,565 --> 01:13:26,652
Listen, this call's about
business. I need you
here in the morning.
1180
01:13:27,153 --> 01:13:29,613
Well, it's the final day
of the Tour Championship
1181
01:13:29,697 --> 01:13:32,199
and it's shaping up
to be quite a classic.
1182
01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:34,493
Happy Gilmore leads the pack.
1183
01:13:34,577 --> 01:13:38,872
Could there be
a changing of the guard?
We'll know in 18 short holes.
1184
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,668
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
1185
01:13:45,088 --> 01:13:47,923
Happy is really on today.
1186
01:13:53,054 --> 01:13:55,013
MAN 1: Happy,
New Jersey loves you!
1187
01:13:55,098 --> 01:13:57,933
MAN 2: Pittsburg loves you!
MAN 3: My sister loves you!
1188
01:14:00,937 --> 01:14:03,772
There he is, that worm.
1189
01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:06,024
Happy, look out!
1190
01:14:06,776 --> 01:14:07,776
(GROANING)
1191
01:14:11,572 --> 01:14:13,407
Happy! Happy, you okay?
1192
01:14:13,491 --> 01:14:15,158
Volkswagen.
1193
01:14:15,451 --> 01:14:17,119
DONALD: Jackass!
1194
01:14:17,453 --> 01:14:18,662
(SHUDDERING)
1195
01:14:18,746 --> 01:14:20,497
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
1196
01:14:25,461 --> 01:14:26,795
Oh, my God.
1197
01:14:27,505 --> 01:14:28,755
(EXCLAIMING)
1198
01:14:31,676 --> 01:14:33,009
(DONALD LAUGHING)
1199
01:14:33,094 --> 01:14:34,428
Jackass!
1200
01:14:34,762 --> 01:14:37,514
Well, you're
a little banged up,
but no serious injuries.
1201
01:14:37,807 --> 01:14:38,849
Just keep off the
feet for a few days.
1202
01:14:39,225 --> 01:14:41,184
To hell with that,
I got to finish up.
1203
01:14:41,269 --> 01:14:44,146
Fine. Do whatever you like.
What would I know?
I'm just a doctor.
1204
01:14:44,230 --> 01:14:45,939
Hey, are you gonna be
all right?
I'm fine.
1205
01:14:46,023 --> 01:14:49,443
Happy, there is no shame
in throwing in the towel.
1206
01:14:49,527 --> 01:14:51,945
When it comes to your health,
you can't be too cautious.
1207
01:14:52,029 --> 01:14:53,947
Let's just play some golf.
1208
01:14:54,699 --> 01:14:56,575
VERNE: I knew Happy Gilmore
was tough,
1209
01:14:56,659 --> 01:15:00,537
but I can't believe
he's going to keep playing
after being hit by that car.
1210
01:15:00,621 --> 01:15:02,914
Let's hope it doesn't
affect his game.
1211
01:15:04,417 --> 01:15:05,417
(GROANING)
1212
01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:06,626
My shoulder!
1213
01:15:06,711 --> 01:15:10,422
Oh, my, that's the first time
he's failed to out-drive
Shooter McGavin.
1214
01:15:10,506 --> 01:15:13,800
Well, well, well.
Happy Gilmore is
human after all.
1215
01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:19,723
Happy Gilmore is in big
trouble, Jack. He's lost the
power to hit the long ball.
1216
01:15:20,016 --> 01:15:22,350
If he's going to have
any chance of winning today,
1217
01:15:22,435 --> 01:15:24,644
he's got to get it
done on the green.
1218
01:15:28,357 --> 01:15:29,357
(VERNE EXCLAIMING)
1219
01:15:29,442 --> 01:15:30,442
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
1220
01:15:30,526 --> 01:15:32,819
He's really got to focus now.
1221
01:15:32,904 --> 01:15:35,197
He's got to save
this one for par.
1222
01:15:38,201 --> 01:15:41,453
Oh, my.
That bogey drops
him out of the lead.
1223
01:15:41,537 --> 01:15:45,499
If he wants to stay
in this thing, he has to
calm down and sink some putts.
1224
01:15:50,421 --> 01:15:52,047
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
1225
01:15:52,924 --> 01:15:56,510
Don't worry about your
grandma, Gilmore. She can
live with me, be my maid.
1226
01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:05,101
VERNE: Look at the cabbage
he's in now.
1227
01:16:05,436 --> 01:16:08,605
Things just keep getting worse
for Happy Gilmore.
1228
01:16:11,859 --> 01:16:14,361
All right, just remember
what Chubbs said,
1229
01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:16,571
''Go to a happy place.
1230
01:16:17,073 --> 01:16:18,907
''Go to a happy place.''
1231
01:16:19,700 --> 01:16:21,076
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)
1232
01:16:25,122 --> 01:16:27,040
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1233
01:16:56,028 --> 01:16:57,946
Oh, God!
1234
01:17:02,285 --> 01:17:04,286
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
1235
01:17:11,127 --> 01:17:13,670
VERNE: This looks like
the end for Happy Gilmore.
1236
01:17:13,796 --> 01:17:16,131
Shooter now has
a commanding lead.
1237
01:17:26,100 --> 01:17:27,809
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
1238
01:17:34,775 --> 01:17:36,985
Happy. Happy,
look who's here.
1239
01:17:37,695 --> 01:17:38,945
Grandma.
1240
01:17:39,989 --> 01:17:42,741
Happy, you look upset.
What's wrong?
1241
01:17:42,825 --> 01:17:45,243
I don't know what to say.
I stink. I'm not gonna win.
1242
01:17:45,328 --> 01:17:48,163
That's all right,
sweetheart.
1243
01:17:48,289 --> 01:17:50,832
The house isn't important.
It's just a house.
1244
01:17:50,917 --> 01:17:53,376
Stop fraternizing
with the help, Gilmore.
1245
01:17:53,461 --> 01:17:56,296
Just hit your ball,
if you can find it.
1246
01:17:57,048 --> 01:17:58,340
Hi, Grandma.
1247
01:17:59,300 --> 01:18:03,803
Forget him.
I just want you to be
happy, darling.
1248
01:18:06,474 --> 01:18:07,974
All right, Grandma.
1249
01:18:14,273 --> 01:18:16,691
Grandma wants me
to be happy.
1250
01:18:38,464 --> 01:18:41,633
Chin up, Happy.
Don't feel bad about me.
1251
01:18:42,218 --> 01:18:44,052
I got my hand back, see.
1252
01:18:46,180 --> 01:18:49,683
(SINGING)
We've only just begun
1253
01:18:51,102 --> 01:18:54,688
to live
1254
01:18:55,564 --> 01:18:59,693
White lace and promises
1255
01:19:00,695 --> 01:19:05,031
A kiss for luck
and we're on our way
1256
01:19:10,746 --> 01:19:12,414
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1257
01:19:14,333 --> 01:19:16,167
It ain't over yet, McGavin.
1258
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:18,795
The way I see it,
we've only just begun.
1259
01:19:46,615 --> 01:19:49,784
Happy, the gold jacket's
yours. Shooter's gonna choke.
1260
01:19:55,249 --> 01:19:56,458
Unbelievable!
1261
01:20:08,596 --> 01:20:12,766
Damn you people!
This is golf,
not a rock concert!
1262
01:20:12,975 --> 01:20:14,517
(PEOPLE BOOING)
1263
01:20:19,231 --> 01:20:20,523
I'm gonna putt!
1264
01:20:25,196 --> 01:20:26,321
Yeah!
1265
01:20:36,082 --> 01:20:37,624
(WHOOPING)
1266
01:20:40,002 --> 01:20:43,505
Happy rules!
1267
01:20:57,228 --> 01:20:59,854
Happy Gilmore
has really charged
in the back nine.
1268
01:20:59,939 --> 01:21:02,440
He's now dead even
with Shooter McGavin.
1269
01:21:02,566 --> 01:21:06,194
And if Shooter doesn't
get himself out of this
current funk he's in,
1270
01:21:06,362 --> 01:21:08,822
he may yet again
miss out on the gold jacket.
1271
01:21:08,948 --> 01:21:13,326
Ladies and gentlemen,
the 18th hole is
a par three, 160 yards.
1272
01:21:13,536 --> 01:21:16,496
In the event of a tie,
there will be
a sudden death playoff.
1273
01:21:16,580 --> 01:21:19,082
Mr. Gilmore,
you have the honors.
1274
01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:22,877
Well, no matter what,
I got to admit I'm having fun.
1275
01:21:22,962 --> 01:21:25,505
Happy Gilmore,
you're starting to
sound like a golfer.
1276
01:21:25,589 --> 01:21:27,423
I know. Keep it down.
1277
01:21:44,984 --> 01:21:46,192
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1278
01:21:46,277 --> 01:21:49,487
VERNE: Oh, nice shot!
Right at the pin.
1279
01:21:49,572 --> 01:21:51,573
Fifteen feet short
of the hole.
1280
01:21:59,039 --> 01:22:00,748
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
1281
01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:06,337
Shooter's ball is in the woods
and Happy's on the 18th green
1282
01:22:06,422 --> 01:22:10,383
where earlier a car
driven by a crazed fan
rammed the TV tower.
1283
01:22:10,968 --> 01:22:12,093
Yeah.
1284
01:22:13,762 --> 01:22:16,514
Excuse me,
I just gotta get through.
I'm looking for my ball.
1285
01:22:16,599 --> 01:22:20,268
This is golf, okay?
Excuse me.
Thank you. Thank you.
1286
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:27,817
Is this your ball?
1287
01:22:28,402 --> 01:22:29,819
Yes, it is.
1288
01:22:30,237 --> 01:22:32,071
It struck my foot.
1289
01:22:32,448 --> 01:22:34,532
Doug! Doug.
1290
01:22:34,992 --> 01:22:36,492
Can I get a drop?
1291
01:22:37,786 --> 01:22:40,330
The rule says,
''Play it as it lies.''
1292
01:22:57,056 --> 01:22:58,765
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
1293
01:23:03,437 --> 01:23:05,438
That's two thus far, Shooter.
1294
01:23:05,606 --> 01:23:07,774
Oh, you can count.
Good for you.
1295
01:23:08,067 --> 01:23:12,278
And you can count on me
waiting for you
in the parking lot.
1296
01:23:12,404 --> 01:23:13,863
(PEOPLE BOOING)
1297
01:23:14,907 --> 01:23:17,158
MAN: Run, Shooter,
run for your life.
1298
01:23:26,001 --> 01:23:27,585
Looks like
you're still away.
1299
01:23:27,670 --> 01:23:29,671
Yeah, I'm aware of that.
Thank you.
1300
01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:32,006
I can't see.
1301
01:23:32,132 --> 01:23:33,341
Up here is good.
1302
01:23:46,689 --> 01:23:49,315
VERNE: Shooter needs this
to keep the pressure
on Gilmore.
1303
01:23:49,566 --> 01:23:52,652
If he misses,
Happy can two-putt
his way to victory.
1304
01:23:57,825 --> 01:23:59,117
Get in that hole.
1305
01:24:03,038 --> 01:24:05,039
Choke on that, baby!
1306
01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:08,876
(WHOOPING)
1307
01:24:11,714 --> 01:24:12,880
Yes!
1308
01:24:14,550 --> 01:24:15,800
Shooter.
1309
01:24:24,393 --> 01:24:28,396
VERNE: If Gilmore
can sink this, it will cap
an amazing comeback.
1310
01:24:35,738 --> 01:24:37,405
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
1311
01:24:38,324 --> 01:24:39,991
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
1312
01:24:46,123 --> 01:24:48,916
HAPPY: Great.
Now I have a stinking tower
blocking my ball.
1313
01:24:49,001 --> 01:24:50,877
Don't worry about it,
we'll get this cleaned up
1314
01:24:50,961 --> 01:24:52,879
and you'll finish tomorrow.
Right, Doug?
1315
01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:56,758
No, no, he has to hit it now.
He has to play
the ball as it lies.
1316
01:24:57,176 --> 01:25:00,094
No, I had to hit it off
Frankenstein's fat foot,
remember?
1317
01:25:00,179 --> 01:25:02,055
Those are the rules.
I didn't write them.
1318
01:25:02,139 --> 01:25:04,932
I'm afraid he's right.
Take your shot, Mr. Gilmore.
1319
01:25:05,976 --> 01:25:09,896
Oh, and Virginia,
in case you were wondering,
my jacket size is 44 long.
1320
01:25:09,980 --> 01:25:12,982
And my right arm
is just a little longer
than my left.
1321
01:25:14,068 --> 01:25:16,027
Happy, hit it
around the tower,
1322
01:25:16,111 --> 01:25:18,571
sink your putt,
and we'll go to
sudden death.
1323
01:25:25,746 --> 01:25:27,622
I'll just beat him now.
1324
01:25:27,956 --> 01:25:28,956
(SNICKERING)
1325
01:25:29,500 --> 01:25:30,625
Good luck.
1326
01:25:35,881 --> 01:25:38,508
Chubbs, I know
you're gonna help me
with this one.
1327
01:25:57,444 --> 01:25:59,195
(METALLIC CLANKING)
1328
01:26:14,002 --> 01:26:16,087
Oh, my God!
1329
01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:19,924
VERNE: Incredible!
Happy Gilmore
wins the gold jacket.
1330
01:26:20,008 --> 01:26:21,134
No! No!
1331
01:26:21,885 --> 01:26:23,511
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
1332
01:26:23,846 --> 01:26:26,264
I love you. I love you.
1333
01:26:26,682 --> 01:26:28,349
And I love you.
1334
01:26:28,809 --> 01:26:31,269
Doug! Doug!
It's impossible!
1335
01:26:31,353 --> 01:26:34,355
That's my jacket!
It's mine!
1336
01:26:35,274 --> 01:26:37,108
Hey! He stole my jacket!
1337
01:26:37,776 --> 01:26:39,610
I believe that's
Mr. Gilmore's.
1338
01:26:53,375 --> 01:26:55,042
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
1339
01:26:57,546 --> 01:26:58,921
(GROWLING)
1340
01:27:01,967 --> 01:27:03,926
LARSON: I will get you,
Shooter!
1341
01:27:04,011 --> 01:27:05,386
(SCREAMING)
1342
01:27:05,804 --> 01:27:07,346
(PEOPLE THUMPING)
1343
01:27:07,431 --> 01:27:08,556
(SHOOTER GRUNTING)
1344
01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:09,891
LARSON: Stay still!
1345
01:27:10,350 --> 01:27:11,392
SHOOTER: No!
1346
01:27:11,393 --> 01:27:12,393
SHOOTER: No!
1347
01:27:24,531 --> 01:27:26,157
You coming?
You bet.
1348
01:27:26,241 --> 01:27:27,575
All right.
1349
01:27:41,215 --> 01:27:43,591
Here's to Chubbs,
wherever he is.
1350
01:27:47,387 --> 01:27:48,846
Hey, Happy.
1351
01:27:51,433 --> 01:27:52,850
Nice jacket.
1352
01:27:55,687 --> 01:27:57,939
Who are you
waving at, Happy?
1353
01:27:59,441 --> 01:28:07,441
Nobody, Grandma.
Let's go home.