1 00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:04,638 Come on! 2 00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:07,408 You said I could play. 3 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:15,015 You have to go down there again. 4 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,484 No. 5 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,319 Come on, you're the only one that'll fit. 6 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,220 No. 7 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,388 I always go get it 8 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,256 and you never let me play. 9 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,491 We'll let you play. 10 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,093 We promise. 11 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:31,232 Come on, throw it here. 12 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,232 You promised. 13 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,234 No way. 14 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,735 You promised. 15 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,770 The first 50 times he got it, it was funny. 16 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,072 Then it was just sad. 17 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:39,907 It's not fair! 18 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,175 It's my turn! 19 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,711 Now it's funny again. 20 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,416 * Yes, no, maybe 21 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,951 * I don't know 22 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:54,288 * Can you repeat the question? 23 00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:56,590 * You're not the boss of me now * 24 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:59,227 * You're not the boss of me now * 25 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,429 * You're not the boss of me now * 26 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,464 * And you're not so big 27 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,966 * You're not the boss of me now * 28 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,236 * You're not the boss of me now * 29 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,471 * You're not the boss of me now * 30 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:13,274 * And you're not so big 31 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:17,445 * Life is unfair. 32 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,785 Dad, Francis has to go back to school tomorrow. 33 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,787 Can't we at least watch what he wants? 34 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,256 This is educational. 35 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:31,125 It's a celebration of the human spirit. 36 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,793 It shows we can always find 37 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:33,894 a way to persevere 38 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,663 no matter how many times we're defeated. 39 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:36,997 (cartoon music and explosion) 40 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,732 No, don't put on the rocket skates. 41 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,134 Hal, can I see you in the bedroom? 42 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,635 Yeah, yeah, just a second, honey, the coyote... 43 00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:42,836 Hal. 44 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,310 All right, who did what now? 45 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,645 You did. I'm two weeks late. 46 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,947 What? 47 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,816 No. Yes. 48 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:58,252 Wait... no. No, you can't be. 49 00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,253 You can't be. 50 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:00,654 We've been very careful. 51 00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:02,590 How can you let this happen? 52 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,625 How could I let this happen?! 53 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,360 You're kidding, right? 54 00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:08,162 I'm just saying, you're the woman. 55 00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:10,497 What is that supposed to mean? 56 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,633 You know that I can't be trusted with these things. 57 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,436 I mean, you're the gatekeeper! 58 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,272 LOIS: That is the stupidest thing you have ever said! 59 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,240 HAL: Not even close! 60 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,675 How long does it take to get me a soda, Dewey? 61 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,344 Mom and Dad are fighting. 62 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,612 Really? 63 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:25,679 Well, don't worry, chief. 64 00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:26,947 Everything will be fine. 65 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,349 Trust me. 66 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,851 You know what will take your mind off it? 67 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,187 Making me a sandwich. 68 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:35,489 HAL: I'm sorry. It's just that this is upsetting. 69 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,358 LOIS: Well, it's upsetting for me, too. 70 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,460 You cannot be pregnant. 71 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,994 We're not ready for this. 72 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:43,964 When have we ever been ready for this, Hal? 73 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,866 (loud groans) 74 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,205 Okay, go ahead. 75 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,806 The blessed state of matrimony 76 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:53,907 is a sacred place... 77 00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,709 (groaning): Oh, God! 78 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,645 Maybe we should get you to the hospital. 79 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:01,415 No! I will not have our baby born out of wedlock! 80 00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:03,251 I don't understand why all of a sudden 81 00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:04,552 you're so hung up on this. 82 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,853 Up until last week 83 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,121 a marriage certificate was just a piece of paper. 84 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,159 I changed my mind! 85 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:16,297 (choking): And it made me the happiest man in the world. 86 00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:18,899 (laughing) 87 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,334 Welcome home, Francis. 88 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,168 Yeah. 89 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,203 This place is beautiful. 90 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,238 Oh, thanks. 91 00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:25,706 I can't take any credit for it. 92 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:26,940 The decorator did everything. 93 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,208 Let's see... 94 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:29,410 Oh, look, just keep the change. 95 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:30,511 One second. 96 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,346 One second. 97 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,881 I forgot something. 98 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,249 I am so rattled. 99 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,950 There... 100 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,185 Have a cigar. It's Cuban. 101 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,453 Thanks. You're welcome. 102 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,358 Wow! 103 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,193 Hey, Mommy. 104 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,695 (both laughing) 105 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,963 Hal, we have a baby. 106 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,965 Yes, we do. 107 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,070 The baby. 108 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,141 Fragile... 109 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,209 helpless... 110 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,711 little baby. 111 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:04,712 He's beautiful. 112 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,314 Oh, we're so lucky, aren't we, Hal? 113 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,382 Huh? Yeah. Lucky. 114 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:09,750 You think we're going to be good parents? 115 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,118 You kidding? The best. 116 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,986 Do you think it's going to change our relationship? 117 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,755 Our what? 118 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,089 No. No. 119 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,425 'Cause we get along so well now, 120 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:20,260 and everybody says a baby really changes things. 121 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,597 Oh, I better feed him. 122 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:24,832 Why? 123 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,635 Frankly, I think he's getting kind of fat. 124 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,937 Hal, the nurse said I should feed him every four hours. 125 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,839 Yeah, well, did you get a look at the nurse? 126 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,476 Hal, where is the baby? 127 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,411 I don't know how to say this exactly, 128 00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:38,779 but I think the baby's... 129 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,080 (baby cries) 130 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,415 ...in the closet! 131 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:42,850 (nervous laughter) 132 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,353 Whoo! 133 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,354 Here he is. 134 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:47,488 Perfectly safe. 135 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:50,257 You put the baby in the closet? 136 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,026 You left the milk out on the counter. 137 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,630 Come here, Francis. 138 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:04,705 I'm never going to let you out of my sight again. 139 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,675 Hey, Mom, is it okay if I have the...? 140 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:08,876 LOIS: Go away! 141 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,511 All I'm saying is that you were the one 142 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,613 who wore those jeans with that rip above the knee. 143 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:15,483 Hal, if I got rid of everything that made you hot and bothered, 144 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,317 I'd be running around with a handkerchief 145 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,520 and a baseball cap. Stop it. 146 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,954 What do you want from me?! 147 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,222 I'm only human. 148 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:25,025 Oh, please. The minute you cross that threshold 149 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,828 into the bedroom, you become more beast than man. 150 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,963 HAL: Fine, everything is my fault! 151 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:33,100 LOIS: Oh, great. Here come the waterworks. 152 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,036 Stupid bug. 153 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,038 What's wrong with Mom and Dad? 154 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,039 Aw, just wait. 155 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,074 In an hour they'll be all lovey-dovey. 156 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,176 It's disgusting. 157 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:45,513 Stupid bug. 158 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,583 Ow! 159 00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:50,884 You stupid... 160 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:53,654 Ow! Ow! 161 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,656 Ow! Ow! 162 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,025 God, Reese, give it a rest. 163 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,327 Okay, Francis is down for his nap. 164 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,829 I emptied the dishwasher, 165 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,564 put another load in the laundry. 166 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,666 Didn't have time to scrape the pudding 167 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,000 out of your hair dryer. 168 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,235 Maybe tomorrow. 169 00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,470 Bye. 170 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,007 (yells) 171 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,108 When will you be home? 172 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:17,511 I don't know-- 5:00, 6:00... 9:00... 173 00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:18,779 Did you say 9:00? 174 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,681 Honey, I canceled another appointment 175 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,749 to come home for lunch. 176 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,083 I have to get caught up. 177 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,518 Hal, this is ridiculous. 178 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,286 You're working 14-hour days. 179 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,856 This baby's trying to beat me to death from the inside 180 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,357 and Francis is out of control. 181 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,760 Something has got to change. 182 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,027 Okay, I'll talk to my boss. 183 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,262 Yeah, you said that before. 184 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,030 Well, yes, and then the Collins account 185 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,031 was dumped into my lap. 186 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,299 It wasn't a good time. 187 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,434 Now is better. 188 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,302 Okay? 189 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:43,904 Love you. 190 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,881 Marty, I have been the leader in sales 191 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,083 for this company for five years running. 192 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,785 No one has ever done that before. 193 00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,052 And all I'm asking 194 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,321 is to cut back on my hours just a little tiny bit 195 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,956 so I can help out at home. 196 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,592 You have kids. You know how it is. 197 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,293 Absolutely, Hal. 198 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:09,463 Don't worry, we'll find a way to make this work. 199 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:13,767 Hey, Hal. 200 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,803 Hey, Phil. 201 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:23,511 (phone ringing) 202 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,146 Hal... and Supplies. 203 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,649 What? 204 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,618 I trained that guy. 205 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,953 I gave him half the names in his Rolodex. 206 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,523 And you know what he said to me this morning? 207 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:36,790 "We need more toner." 208 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,992 And he didn't even need toner! 209 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,327 Ow! 210 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,995 Another contraction? 211 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,431 No! He's kicking me in between contractions. 212 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,033 What the hell is with this kid? 213 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:46,867 Well, are we 214 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:47,901 having fun yet? 215 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,171 Okay, let's take a look in the oven. 216 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,506 Ow! 217 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:53,874 God! 218 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,008 How far along am I? 219 00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,210 'Cause I swear to God, he's biting my kidney. 220 00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,779 You're only two centimeters dilated. 221 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,948 I think you've got four or five hours at least. 222 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,650 No. 223 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:05,152 Honey, the doctor... No! He is coming out now! 224 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,520 I have had it with this! 225 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:09,657 You are coming out right now, mister! 226 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,494 Ah, ah, ah, what are you doing? 227 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:16,897 It's not time to push. 228 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,499 You're just going to prolong your labor. 229 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:22,469 Oh, great. Make it a challenge. 230 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,705 Lady, you're just going to tire yourself out, 231 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,506 and when it comes time to really push, 232 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,342 you're going to be exhausted. 233 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,645 Look, all I'm saying is, she can try to force this all she wants. 234 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:32,813 It's just not going to... 235 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,347 Oh, my God! Nurse! 236 00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:37,150 (panting) 237 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,652 Okay, honey, you're doing great, you're doing great. 238 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,754 Just remember to breathe. 239 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,756 Hal... God, do you think we're really ready 240 00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:43,857 for a second baby? 241 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,826 We're going to have twice as many kids 242 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:46,894 and half the money. 243 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,762 What's it going to do to us? 244 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,397 We-We'll, we'll find a way. 245 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,066 You know, we love each other. 246 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,568 We-We'll adjust. 247 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:55,569 We'll make it work. 248 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:58,071 I mean, they're just kids. 249 00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,372 Here he comes. 250 00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:00,708 Ow! 251 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,644 My God, he kicked me in the nose. 252 00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,814 We'll be fine. 253 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,556 What took you so long? 254 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:17,925 I couldn't very well go to the Lucky Aide 255 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,092 where you work, now, could I? 256 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,628 Oh, what, so you drove clear across town? 257 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,095 Yes, you want to go over the route I took 258 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,597 so you can criticize that, too? 259 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:24,798 Damn. Who's in there? 260 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:26,399 FRANCIS: I'm busy. 261 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,400 Backyard. 262 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,269 Are you out of your mind? 263 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,772 Let's go-- I'll let you choose the most direct route. 264 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,577 Are Mom and Dad getting a divorce? 265 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,713 What are you talking about? 266 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,549 They're really mad at each other. 267 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,751 Don't worry about it. 268 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,218 Everything will be fine. 269 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,419 How do you know? 270 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,255 Look, it used to scare me, too 271 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,423 but they just have a way of working things out. 272 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,491 How? 273 00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:52,926 I don't know, they just do. 274 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,728 But how? 275 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,930 How do I say this so you'll understand? 276 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,632 Shut up. 277 00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,006 Ha, ha! 278 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,841 Does Reese want the bear? 279 00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:11,344 Reese wants the bear, Reese wants the bear. 280 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,781 This place is so much smaller than the apartment. 281 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,015 So you keep reminding me. 282 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,349 What choice do we have, Lois? 283 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,417 Yes, it is smaller. 284 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,518 And cheaper. 285 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,654 That apartment was no place to raise children. 286 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,522 There was nothing there but museums 287 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:26,093 and nightclubs and trendy restaurants... 288 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,028 Well, at least we'll have 289 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,429 a yard to putter around in, huh? 290 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,431 I can't wait to get my hands on this lawn! 291 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,800 Ow! 292 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,035 Oh, okay, okay, boys, enough playing. 293 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,837 It's time for Reese's lessons. 294 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,539 What'll it be today, son, huh? 295 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,041 Russian literature? 296 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,510 Or should we brush up on the circulatory system, hmm? 297 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,547 Circulatory system it is. 298 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,349 Yeah, great. 299 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,384 Just ignore the eight months pregnant woman 300 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,286 carrying the boxes. 301 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,989 * Art! Mona Lisa was by da Vinci * 302 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,325 * Science! The radio was built by Marconi * 303 00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,459 * Math! 304 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,561 * Nine is the product of three times three * 305 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,131 * Natural History! Darwin said we all come from monkeys * 306 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,666 * But not 307 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,002 * Literally. 308 00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:10,637 Hal, will you stop it! 309 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,372 Lois, we have got to do this 310 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,341 35 minutes, three times a day. 311 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,844 All Reese does is sit there. 312 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,345 He's a thinker, Lois. 313 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:21,648 He's an intensely focused, peerless thinker. 314 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,183 He's absorbing information. 315 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,552 Studies show that developing young minds 316 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,687 absorb information at a phenomenal rate. 317 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,189 Hal, he's two years old. 318 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,357 He calls you "phone." 319 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,059 I don't know who you think this 320 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,460 is helping, but it's not Reese. 321 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,365 Oh, my God, he just hit my trigeminal nerve! 322 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,267 (laughing) 323 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,435 We've been working on the nervous system all morning. 324 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:45,372 Oh, Hal, will you come down to reality 325 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,240 long enough to help me unpack? 326 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:48,441 Lois, did it ever 327 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,543 cross your mind that it might be nice 328 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,545 to support what I am doing here? 329 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,381 You know, that's a good question. 330 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:55,783 What are you doing here? 331 00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:57,084 Because I'll tell you what you're not doing, 332 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,118 and that's helping! 333 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,753 You know, I think... 334 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,723 ...that I should go for a drive 335 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,658 before I say something I'll regret. 336 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,899 Phone go bye-bye! 337 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:15,302 Oh, honey... 338 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,304 Oh, sweetheart, it's okay. 339 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,640 Mommy and Daddy are just having a tough time. 340 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:22,976 (car door closes) For the last few months. 341 00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,812 (car engine starts) But don't worry... Ow! 342 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,314 Oh, oh... 343 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,782 Oh, oh, no. 344 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,650 Oh, no, not now. 345 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,252 (tires screeching) 346 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,888 Hal! 347 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,423 Okay, we're going on a little drive, 348 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,625 and Daddy will figure out where we are eventually, 349 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,593 and we'll all be together at the hospital. 350 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:43,163 I don't need to go to the hospital. 351 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,264 No, honey, it's for me. 352 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,099 You're lying. You want to give me a shot. 353 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,601 No, honey, that was last time, and I already apologized. 354 00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:49,602 Now get in the car! 355 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,071 * Mommy's a liar 356 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,772 * Mommy's a liar. 357 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,680 Francis, unlock the door. 358 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:01,614 Ha, ha! 359 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,116 Unlock the door right now. 360 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,451 You're a liar! 361 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:05,518 You stay out! 362 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:06,619 Francis, please. 363 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,455 Mommy has to go to the hospital. 364 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,957 Say you're sorry! 365 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,191 Open the door! 366 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:12,692 Say you're poopy! 367 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:15,028 I will not say I'm poopy! 368 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,663 Open that door! 369 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,133 I'm having a baby! 370 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,734 Congratulations! 371 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,883 What's going on? 372 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,951 Your wife just gave birth on your front lawn. 373 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,953 Congratulations, I guess. 374 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,321 Oh, my Lord! 375 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,190 (stammering) 376 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,964 Want the rest of my Slurpee? 377 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,233 Leave me alone, Hal. 378 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,402 Need any help? 379 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,237 Leave me alone, Hal. 380 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,338 Take this. 381 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,073 Couldn't spring for the one-minute test. 382 00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:01,308 This one takes five. 383 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,743 Four more minutes we get to spend together, dear. 384 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,412 Don't take that tone with me. 385 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,314 I'm sorry, this is the only tone I have. 386 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,983 It's my "I'm panicking about our future" tone. 387 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,351 How can we afford this? 388 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,186 Have you even thought about that? 389 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,188 No, I've just been enjoying peeing in the yard so much, 390 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,556 I haven't thought about anything! 391 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,091 Another snappy comeback! 392 00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,492 That's very helpful! 393 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,928 I'm not being helpful?! 394 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,395 Let me give it to you straight, Hal! 395 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,763 Why don't you take that stick 396 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,032 and shove it up your... 397 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:30,938 (child yelling) 398 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,206 Reese, Reese, please just sit here 399 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,108 for five minutes, please, I'm begging you. 400 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,709 Play with this. 401 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:42,249 Malcolm, would you please pick up your stuff? 402 00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,716 And what is a four-year-old 403 00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,885 playing with a microscope for, anyway? 404 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,055 I see you still haven't moved the microwave. 405 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,223 As I have pointed out to you several times, 406 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,960 this is the only socket in the kitchen that works. 407 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:53,961 Perhaps we could afford 408 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,562 the extravagance of an extension cord! 409 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,564 We have extension cords, 410 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,132 but they're all being used right now 411 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,968 to power the space heater in the bedroom 412 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,235 because somebody gets chills. 413 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,137 Well, perhaps you'd like to share your bed 414 00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:06,373 with someone who doesn't get chills. 415 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,475 (doorbell rings) 416 00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,313 Hi, Lois. 417 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,982 What did he do this time? 418 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,583 He took a joyride in a street cleaner. 419 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,651 Get in here. Francis. 420 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,087 Here's the summons. 421 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,754 Your juvenile court date's on the 12th, 422 00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,323 and, well, you know the drill. 423 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,691 Thank you, Officer. 424 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:28,795 They caught you 425 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,097 on a street cleaner? 426 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,598 What were you thinking? 427 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,100 That it went faster. 428 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,301 Go to your room. 429 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,835 Are you happy now? 430 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,338 Me? How is this my fault? 431 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,739 You are always regaling him 432 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,274 with tales of your wild youth. 433 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:43,610 Those are cautionary tales. (glass shattering) 434 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,278 Cautionary tales do not end with 435 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,280 "It was so cool." Mom, 436 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,616 I think I broke my chemistry set. 437 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:50,517 In a second, Malcolm. 438 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:51,651 All right, do me a favor, Lois. 439 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,454 Make me a list of pre-approved childhood memories 440 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,589 so I know what I can and what I can't 441 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:57,824 share with the boys. 442 00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,027 (muffled yelling) 443 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,628 Oh, for God's sake, hold still. 444 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,031 Hal, that's not going to work. 445 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,765 Just drive him to the emergency room. 446 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,767 We do not need to go to the emergency room. Ah. 447 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,502 Mom! Hal, you're forcing it 448 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,205 further in his mouth, and he's going to choke to death! 449 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:13,473 For once will you stop 450 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,642 telling me how wrong I am? 451 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,777 And will you stop telling me what to do? 452 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,346 (coughing) 453 00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,780 What the... 454 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,882 I tried to make invisible ink, 455 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,052 but I think I made chlorine gas. 456 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,353 Come on, everybody out! 457 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,820 Out, out, out, out, now, come on, out! 458 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:28,788 LOIS: Go! 459 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,857 (all coughing) 460 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,195 Okay, we all here? 461 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,164 Okay, good. We're fine. 462 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,966 We'll just let the house air out, and... 463 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,135 (thunder cracks) 464 00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,704 Rain, yay! Yay! 465 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:51,144 Okay, let's hear it! 466 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:54,414 This has got to be my fault somehow. 467 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:55,748 So go ahead. 468 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:56,983 Say it, come on! 469 00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:01,354 I'm the cause of all that is bad in the universe! 470 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:04,757 Everything that I touch turns to crap! 471 00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:08,361 And now I bring you rain! 472 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,762 Oh, you'll feel better 473 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,031 once you get it out in the open, Lois! 474 00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,166 Come on! 475 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:17,770 I'm having the baby. 476 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:26,512 Oh, well, that's good 477 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:30,717 because the car keys are inside the house. 478 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,052 So, I can either suffocate 479 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,521 by going back in there to get them 480 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,623 or you can have another baby out here on the lawn! 481 00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,125 Try the azaleas! 482 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,992 Maybe they'll finally bloom! 483 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,729 (moaning) 484 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:45,565 (boys yelling) 485 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:56,243 We can't do this! 486 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,547 We are not having a baby with us like this. 487 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,650 We have to figure out a way to fix this. 488 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,585 Well, I guess I can get a night job, and... 489 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:09,088 No, we have to figure out a way to fix us. 490 00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,324 And I don't mean just now 491 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,460 because we're always going to have hard times. 492 00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:15,628 We have to figure out a way to get through this 493 00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:16,929 without us killing each other. 494 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,831 Well, I'm open to suggestions. 495 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,971 Okay, here's what we're going to do. 496 00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:28,975 You're going to tell me three-- no, five-- no, seven! 497 00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:33,980 I want you to tell me seven things you love about me. 498 00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:37,484 Seven reasons why this is all worthwhile. 499 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,019 Seven reasons why we're still here. 500 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,855 Seven? 501 00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,192 Seven. And I have to believe every one of them 502 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,126 and you have to say them all right now. 503 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:47,994 Seven? 504 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,529 Oh, just please. 505 00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,763 Just do it. Okay, okay, okay. 506 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:51,864 Okay, okay, okay, uh... 507 00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:54,534 I, I-I-I love, 508 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:57,970 I love how your neck smells in the morning. 509 00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,372 Okay. 510 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,007 That's one. 511 00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:05,612 I love how every one of your toes 512 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,814 looks like it came from another person's foot. 513 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,516 Oh, God. 514 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:13,019 And-And-And I love how you're honest and-and fearless 515 00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:16,889 and, and how when I'm sick you treat me like a baby. 516 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,560 Okay, that last one counts for two. 517 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,195 You got three more to go. 518 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,763 Okay. 519 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:29,736 I can tell you that I just adore this. 520 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,339 The way your forehead gets all crinkly 521 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,073 when you're worried. 522 00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:37,410 And I love the way you cut your crust off your toast 523 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,412 even though you end up eating both anyway. 524 00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:43,583 I love your loyalty and your kindness 525 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,652 and that you still suck in your gut 526 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,254 whenever I walk into the room. 527 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:48,355 (laughing) 528 00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:49,856 I love how you didn't dump me 529 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,591 when you found out that I was in love with you. 530 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,160 I love that you still married me 531 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,995 even after you met my parents. 532 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,865 (laughing) 533 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,567 And I love that nothing in my life-- 534 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,103 not cribbage with my dad, 535 00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:07,073 not a... a new Van Halen album-- 536 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,676 not even an old Van Halen album, for that matter, 537 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,110 or any of their solo albums... 538 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,345 Hal, Hal. 539 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,715 I love that nothing in my life is complete 540 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,817 until I've shared it with you. 541 00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,388 (boys yelling) 542 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:36,769 I love how you send the boys to their room 543 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,238 just so we can have some alone time. 544 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:41,608 I just love you. 545 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:44,744 * 546 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,515 That's my sandwich. 547 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,150 (both yelling) 548 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,789 (all yelling) 549 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:04,664 You know, I wouldn't give up a single one of them. 550 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,433 They're our boys. 551 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,335 No one else can say that. 552 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:11,504 They're our boys. 553 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:12,839 Negative. 554 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:15,041 All that worry for nothing. 555 00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:17,777 A girl would have been nice, though. 556 00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:18,978 Are you kidding? 557 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,847 We've got you outnumbered five to one now 558 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,715 and we're still losing. 559 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:38,365 Boys, go to your room!