1 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:05,673 (vacuum cleaner whirring) 2 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,346 LOIS: Hal? 3 00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,884 Are you smoking again? 4 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:17,985 No! 5 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,387 I am cleaning. 6 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,155 Do you smell smoke? No, but I... 7 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,157 No, Lois, if I wanted to smoke a cigar 8 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:24,858 I wouldn't be sneaking around 9 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,227 like a scared little schoolboy. 10 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,363 I would do it out in the open like a man. 11 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:36,070 That was our third shop vac. 12 00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:38,839 That is our last shop vac. 13 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:42,510 * Yes, no, maybe 14 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,912 * I don't know 15 00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:48,182 * Can you repeat the question? 16 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,351 * You're not the boss of me now * 17 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,886 * You're not the boss of me now * 18 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,223 * You're not the boss of me now * 19 00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:57,358 * And you're not so big 20 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,560 * You're not the boss of me now * 21 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,862 * You're not the boss of me now * 22 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,098 * You're not the boss of me now * 23 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:07,135 * And you're not so big 24 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:11,605 * Life is unfair. 25 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,245 LOIS: Francis, I don't want to hear 26 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,379 another argument about it. 27 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,748 You are going to fix the roof. 28 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,383 That is totally unfair! 29 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,717 I come home from school and 30 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:24,985 you immediately put me to work. 31 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,053 Well, someone has to do it, 32 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,156 and you know your father is terrified of heights. 33 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,890 He is not terrified! 34 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,559 The last time he changed a lightbulb, 35 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,294 we had to talk him down from the table. 36 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,062 You are going to do this. 37 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,298 Why don't you just put a choke chain around my neck 38 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,200 and make me sleep in the garage?! 39 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,504 This is what we call a "level four" rage. 40 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:46,140 The only way not to get nailed is to make no sudden moves 41 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:49,943 and avoid eye contact at all costs. 42 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,480 (spoon clatters on bowl) 43 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:55,916 And you... 44 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,252 You think just because you hide the note, 45 00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:00,288 the parent-teacher meeting will just go away? 46 00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,323 Mom, Mr. Woodward is totally out to get me. 47 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,857 Every teacher since kindergarten 48 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:04,858 has been out to get you. 49 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,727 I know. It upsets me, too. 50 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,862 (sniffs) 51 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,883 (Hal whistling) 52 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:33,454 Why is the drain still clogged? 53 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:37,124 (stammering) 54 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,327 Uh, honey, there was a, you know... 55 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,028 I was only seconds away from... 56 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,230 It's a funny thing, see... 57 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,465 Oh, what a mess! Look at that! 58 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:48,168 That is a milk ring on the table. 59 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:54,642 Reese is still searching for academic truth. 60 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,311 His... 61 00:02:57,345 --> 00:03:00,147 focus is diffuse. 62 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,383 His initiative is waning, and... 63 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:05,486 it's preventing his full potentiation. 64 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,188 What? 65 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:12,360 To put it simply, Reese isn't self-actualized. 66 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,194 Look, maybe I could just give you a topic 67 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,330 and you could tell us "good" or "bad." 68 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,565 That would help us here. 69 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:21,168 Reese is flunking almost every subject, 70 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,170 and I'm going to recommend 71 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,839 that he be moved into the remedial class. 72 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,675 And that's a euphemism for... 73 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,410 The remedial class. 74 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,044 (laughs) 75 00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:35,182 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 76 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,050 No, n that is not an option. 77 00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,252 We'll get him to buckle down. 78 00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,420 I hope it's that simple. 79 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,854 Reese will get back on track. 80 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,423 We'll see to it if it kills him. 81 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,426 I'm glad to see your level of commitment. 82 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,761 I'm really happy we had this chance to talk. 83 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,931 So we can go now. 84 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,533 I don't want to hear any excuses. 85 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,034 You will sit down every night 86 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,136 and work until those grades are up. 87 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,538 Why do I have to tutor him? 88 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,372 Because 89 00:03:58,406 --> 00:03:59,640 God gave you a giant brain. 90 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:00,541 Blame him. 91 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,410 Reese screws up, and I get punished for it? 92 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,644 Where's the logic in that? 93 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:06,414 Malcolm, I have zero tolerance on this one. 94 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:09,383 Finally, Mom found the courage to speak her mind. 95 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,752 Why aren't you fixing that roof? 96 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,054 It's 40 degrees out there. I'll freeze. 97 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,222 And it's going to rain. 98 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,890 That's why you have to fix the roof. 99 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,125 Well, maybe if you didn't buy such crappy shingles, 100 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,394 it wouldn't leak all the time. 101 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:22,296 Francis, as long as you are in this house, 102 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,231 you will do as I say. 103 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,733 You know what, Mom? 104 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:26,500 No. 105 00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:30,137 I'm too old to be bullied by you. 106 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,805 Our whole lives, you have done nothing 107 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,408 but dictate what you wanted. 108 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:35,909 You're the boss of the world, 109 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,144 and we're all sick of it. 110 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,080 This may be your roof, but we live here, too. 111 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,248 We are human beings 112 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,083 with rights, and I'm hereby putting an end 113 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,485 to your reign of terror. 114 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,286 You should have seen the look on her face. 115 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,588 It was totally worth it. 116 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,257 Sounds like you-you've had it rough. 117 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,360 Oh, man, you have no idea. 118 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,596 Thanks. 119 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,831 I've got a place near the bus station. 120 00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:01,101 It's warm and fairly dry. 121 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,170 You can stay there for a while. 122 00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:05,272 If-if you want to. 123 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,774 You'd do that for me? 124 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:07,775 It's a tough world. 125 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:11,011 We've got to look out for each other. 126 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,381 Thanks. 127 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,652 Richie! Dude! 128 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,320 I heard your mom kicked you out. 129 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,555 You want to stay at my place? 130 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:23,391 You are a lifesaver! 131 00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:24,725 Could you give me a lift to... 132 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,495 Sorry, man. We're going the other way. 133 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,835 Hi. 134 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,470 Why aren't you flying? 135 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,972 My name is Dewey. 136 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,208 Good to meet you, Tony. 137 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,643 Want to play? 138 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,945 Okay, but I get to be the red team. 139 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,316 Look, I don't like this any better than you do. 140 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,818 Let's just get it over with. 141 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,186 Dude, this book's totally wrecked. 142 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,321 What did you do to it? 143 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,489 I threw it at a duck. 144 00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:58,058 Well, where's your math book? 145 00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,259 Which half? 146 00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,094 We'll just start with geography, then. 147 00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:02,162 I don't take geography! 148 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,163 Yes, you do. 149 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,265 You got a grade in it. 150 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,635 Oh, that can't be good. 151 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,504 Mi casa es su casa. 152 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,673 This may be my parents' house, 153 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,907 but, dude... 154 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,943 down here, anything goes. 155 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,878 Oh! What is that smell? 156 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,246 It could be the laundry. 157 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,014 It could be the mildew. 158 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,416 It could be that rat I shot. 159 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,251 I think I wounded it. 160 00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,386 It probably crawled into a hole in the wall 161 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:29,256 to die or something. 162 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,257 What's this? 163 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,693 It's your bed. You got to blow it up. 164 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,362 (television playing softly) 165 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:39,232 Welcome to Chez Richie. 166 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:44,371 Rule number one: there are no rules. 167 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:48,909 Rule number two: no shoes on the sofa. 168 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,986 It is so real. 169 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,929 Come on. What's the answer? 170 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,631 You can do this. 171 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:25,278 We've gone over this a thousand times. 172 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,114 You have to carry the tenths. 173 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,181 Tenths have to go someplace. 174 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,518 Tenths don't just float around. 175 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,585 Get smarter already! 176 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:34,655 Think. Make your brain work. 177 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,924 I could be outside doing anything other than this. 178 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,259 But, no. I'm stuck in here babysitting this... 179 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,428 4.2. 180 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,430 That's right. 181 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,298 I mean... 182 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,267 I actually understand this. 183 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,937 The tenths have to go someplace. 184 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,640 Great. Let's move on to the next one. 185 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:03,150 (hammering) 186 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,390 (sighs) 187 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,627 Hal! Come down from there! 188 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,195 (high-pitched voice): Hi, honey. 189 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,197 What do you think you're doing? 190 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,533 Oh, just... fixing the shingles. 191 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,168 Francis has responsibilities. 192 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,970 You can't keep covering for him. 193 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,237 This is not about him. 194 00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:25,806 It's about me. 195 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,708 I just wanted to get some fresh air and... 196 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,510 the view from up here is... 197 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,044 is incredible. 198 00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:36,183 Did you ever think that I might be enjoying myself? 199 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,318 (screaming hysterically) 200 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,655 I spent two days on it. 201 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,191 There was even a paragraph that I thought really sucked 202 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,993 so I went back and rewrote it. 203 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,728 Malcolm, I'd never done that before, 204 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,063 but last night... I mean, look at me. 205 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:53,000 I'm going on and on while you're sitting here trying to read. 206 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,101 How's the grammar? 207 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,103 Never mind. 208 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,205 Reese... 209 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:01,609 This is C-minus work. 210 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,176 All right! Nice job! 211 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,912 You're not just saying that? 212 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:07,214 No. This is seriously the best work I've ever seen you do. 213 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,215 Yes! That's great! 214 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,850 I couldn't have done it without you! 215 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:10,918 Thanks, Malcolm. 216 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,720 BOTH: Ew! 217 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,190 I kicked your ass! 218 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,558 LOIS: You got another "F"! 219 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:19,893 Mom, I read that paper. 220 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,762 It's not an "F"! Then what is this? 221 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,597 We've been studying four hours a night. 222 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:24,865 Well, guess what. It's not enough. 223 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,433 You're going to study eight hours a night 224 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,068 if that's what it takes to get your grades up, 225 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,703 and that's what you're going to do. But, Mom... 226 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:30,871 I don't see a mother here. 227 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,606 All I see is a warden with two prisoners 228 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,741 who are out of their cell. 229 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,042 Now get back in there! 230 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,879 HAL: Oh, oh, oh! 231 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,580 Not like this. 232 00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,415 (screaming) 233 00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,752 I'm okay! I'm okay! 234 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,060 Okay, you know what? 235 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,762 It's freezing, but I don't need heat 236 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,296 'cause I got justice on my side. 237 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,430 Mom will cave. 238 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,565 She'll cave. 239 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,768 It's going to be so sweet. 240 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,169 (grunts) 241 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,905 Could you do that in the bathroom, Richie? 242 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:08,141 Dude, no one's going in there for at least six hours. 243 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:11,478 Well, then, could you do it over a wastebasket or something? 244 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,847 And can we cool it on the porno for, like, five minutes? 245 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:15,783 Yeah. When this is over, I'll just pop in 246 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,117 Sluts of the Big Ten. 247 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,919 No. No more porn. 248 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,120 Dude... 249 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,289 that's a documentary. 250 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,325 Ow! 251 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,094 God, my eye! 252 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,096 Hey, try to find that toenail, Francis. 253 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,364 It is so creepy to step on those things. 254 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,599 Ow! 255 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,634 Come on, Reese, the test is in two hours! 256 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,836 This is too much, Malcolm. 257 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,304 I'll never pass this thing. 258 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,940 There's 30 true-false questions and five essays. 259 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,874 It's impossible. 260 00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,475 So, Reese, today's the big test? 261 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,277 What do you have to get on this thing 262 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,213 to say out of remedial class? 263 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,315 A "B." 264 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,382 (laughter) 265 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,184 No, guys, he's serious. 266 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:54,554 But you're... an idiot. 267 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,223 You're right. 268 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:59,159 Yeah. The only way this idiot's going to pass the test 269 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,561 is if somebody else takes it for the idiot. 270 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,330 Right, idiot? 271 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,631 Stevie set the precedent! 272 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:05,799 You had a chance for rebuttal, 273 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:06,834 but since you didn't answer 274 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,035 you waived your right! 275 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,636 Therefore, it's an agreed-upon term! 276 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,705 What am I going to do? 277 00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,707 I can't get put in the remedial class. 278 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,408 They walk to the cafeteria 279 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,010 holding each other's belts. 280 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,078 Unless... 281 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,312 maybe Lloyd's right. 282 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:22,515 Maybe someone should take the test for you. 283 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,684 You mean cheat? 284 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:25,652 We can't cheat. 285 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,087 Mom will kill us. 286 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,088 And it's wrong. 287 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:31,058 But more importantly, Mom would kill us! 288 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,993 Hey, we're out of options here, Reese. 289 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,328 You're going to get caught. No, we're not. 290 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,196 And you know why? 291 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,398 Because we have four brilliant minds here 292 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:39,733 to help plan this out. 293 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,601 You had to appeal to my vanity, didn't you? 294 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:42,702 I'm in. 295 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,404 I'm sorry, but I am honor-bound 296 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:47,775 to report this conversation to the vice-principal. 297 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,609 Then we're honor-bound to report 298 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,678 you still sleep with an Elmo blankie. 299 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,113 Okay, I'm in. 300 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,861 We, uh... here's the VCR you ordered. 301 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,429 I didn't order a VCR. 302 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,563 Yes, you did! 303 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,865 Feel free to call and verify. 304 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,400 I know the extension number. 305 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,068 There's someone there right now. 306 00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:15,803 That won't be... 307 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:16,937 Or you can take a look 308 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,105 at this A/V equipment schedule. 309 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,540 Your name and class hour's right here on page seven 310 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,608 in nonstudent handwriting. 311 00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,743 WOODWARD: All right. 312 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,078 Go ahead and leave it. 313 00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,713 Okay. 314 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,715 No, no, you said you didn't order a cart 315 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,050 so you're not going to get one. 316 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,953 We'll just be leaving and pushing this out the door. 317 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,823 Ah, here it is! 318 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,273 Hey, watch out! 319 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:56,977 Be... the cannonball. 320 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,583 Are you all right? 321 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,887 Way to go... hot rod! 322 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,337 (coughing) 323 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,958 Okay, well, there's the rat. 324 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,794 No, Tony, that's not fair. 325 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,664 Today it's my cartoons before school 326 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,801 and your cartoons after school. 327 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,137 Fine, Tony, be that way. 328 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:01,041 I don't want to be your friend anyway. 329 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,817 Tony! 330 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,086 I can't stay mad at you either. 331 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,854 Hey... 332 00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,757 Did you get that history test back yet? 333 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:18,992 Not yet. No, haven't seen it. 334 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:22,129 You both better pray for a "B." 335 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,732 Hey, did Francis call you at work yet? 336 00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,734 No. No, I haven't talked to him since he... 337 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,702 He thinks he's making some kind of point 338 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:30,938 by cutting off all contact. 339 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,039 You know, he should know. 340 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,240 Till he's ready to apologize, 341 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,774 there's really no reason to call. 342 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,443 I can't wait to see the look on his face 343 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,711 when he realizes that we have figured him out. 344 00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,681 Ah! What have we to figure out, dear? 345 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,350 That I'm in it for the long haul. 346 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,684 He should know 347 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,353 I am prepared to go the distance! 348 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,522 You know, I think he likes tomatoes on his sandwich. 349 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,690 Other bag, Hal. 350 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,724 Ah, right. Bye. 351 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:52,859 Bye. 352 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,527 LLOYD: A masterful "B," 353 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,695 Malcolm. 354 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,530 I could never dumb myself down like this. 355 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,865 I find this "F" 356 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,600 very troubling. 357 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,870 Something... stinks. 358 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,538 He knows we cheated! 359 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,775 We're going to have to start cutting separate deals. 360 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,144 He doesn't know anything, Dabney. 361 00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,480 I'm gonna go talk to him. 362 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:14,214 Mr. Woodward? 363 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,915 I'm Malcolm, I'm Reese's brother. 364 00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,117 Oh, hi, how are you? 365 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,218 Well, Reese is upset. 366 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,053 He thinks he did better than an "F" 367 00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,221 on his history test. 368 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,656 I read it over, and I sort of thought... 369 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,757 it wasn't half bad. 370 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,226 Do you think there's any way 371 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,061 you can maybe take another look? 372 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:31,064 Malcolm, you should be commended for your fraternity, 373 00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:33,066 but, uh, the test deserved an "F." 374 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,435 Mr. Woodward, maybe if you just looked at it again... 375 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,937 I can't spend a disproportionate amount of time on Reese. 376 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,406 It's not fair to the other students. 377 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,608 But he didn't deserve an "F" on this. 378 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,177 Look, Malcolm, I-I've been a teacher for a long time 379 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,346 and, uh, I think I know what Reese is capable of. 380 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,148 I really don't think you do, because... 381 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:51,318 Look, you may not want to hear this about your brother, 382 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,287 but I've known kids like Reese my whole life. 383 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,122 They're the ones 384 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,323 who throw water at you 385 00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,091 so it looks like you wet your pants. 386 00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,459 They aim for your legs 387 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,460 in dodgeball, 388 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,030 and you fall down and you break your jaw 389 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,365 and you need to have your mouth wired shut 390 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,267 and your teeth don't set properly. 391 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,469 And you spend six years in orthodontia 392 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,339 with the most painfully embarrassing headgear 393 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,506 ever designed, 394 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:20,780 which is only because they don't feel fully actualized. 395 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,815 That guy's totally out to get you. 396 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,218 Man! I was just using that as an excuse. 397 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,554 He is so dead when Mom finds out! 398 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:28,955 Reese, we can't bust him. 399 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,823 If we rat him out, then Mom will know 400 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,560 we cheated. 401 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,728 We're doomed. 402 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,630 KIDS (chanting): Two is after one. 403 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,567 Three is after two. 404 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,236 Four is after three. 405 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:48,541 Something is after something 406 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,677 and then we get to ten! 407 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,846 (footsteps on stairs) 408 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,682 Good lord! FRANCIS: Thank God you're here! 409 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:58,017 I was afraid you weren't going to get my message at work. 410 00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,252 What happened to your eye...? 411 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,987 Hey, how do you guys want your burgers? 412 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,055 Just a sec, man. 413 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:03,356 All right, so I got it all worked out. 414 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,724 You tell Mom that you need me to repair the lawnmower, 415 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:06,992 and then I hang out and I just... 416 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,162 No, no, I-I'm just not going to do that, Francis. 417 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,097 Hey, you guys better 418 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,198 figure it out quick. 419 00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,165 This cheap-ass trash can's melting. 420 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,834 Well, maybe you could talk to her then? 421 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,237 Just calm her down so that I could come home, maybe today even? 422 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,739 Francis, you've got to stop putting me in the middle! 423 00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:21,273 What, you're just going to let her win this round, too?! 424 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,409 Francis, there is nothing that I can do. 425 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,042 You know what the problem is here? 426 00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,845 You and your mother are exactly alike! 427 00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:26,945 That's a lie! 428 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,181 That is true! 429 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,183 You're both stubborn and unwilling to bend. 430 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,851 So, fine, you win! 431 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,019 Congratulations! 432 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,454 This is your prize! 433 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,556 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go. 434 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,426 It smells like something died in here. 435 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,463 Your father's right, man. 436 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,233 Sometimes you can be so stupid. 437 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,801 Uh-oh. 438 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,038 WOODWARD: I'm sorry. 439 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,974 No one wanted it to turn out this way. 440 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:57,544 I feel like I let Reese down. 441 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,379 Just keep moving, Tony. 442 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,548 So where does this leave us? 443 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:05,785 I think it's best if we make the switch as soon as possible. 444 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,555 We need to look at this 445 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,456 as an opportunity. 446 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,359 Big opportunity, being in the dumb class. 447 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,462 Reese, this isn't what I wanted, 448 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,797 but you haven't left us any choice. 449 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,635 Mom, don't do this. 450 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,003 It's not Reese's fault. 451 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,638 He didn't deserve an "F" on that test. 452 00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,175 Malcolm, we've already had this discussion. 453 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,076 I saw the test, he did a good job. 454 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,144 He deserved a "B." 455 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,079 This guy is totally out to get him. 456 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,080 Malcolm... 457 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,448 Look, I'm sorry you feel that way, 458 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,684 but you can't blame me for Reese's shortcomings. 459 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,152 Mom, this is the test. 460 00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:40,420 Take a look at this question. 461 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,822 "What was the cause of the Great Depression?" 462 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,157 He put down "Black Thursday." 463 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,425 That's a correct answer. 464 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,194 No, that's only a partial answer. 465 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,329 To get full credit he should have included 466 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,198 the vast overproduction in the U.S., 467 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:53,366 protectionism in the foreign markets.... 468 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,301 Overexpansion of credit 469 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,835 and stock market speculation? 470 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:56,936 Yes. That would have been 471 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,371 a complete answer. 472 00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,106 Ha! You didn't read the answer 473 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,941 because that's exactly what I wrote. 474 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,177 "I" wrote? 475 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:08,315 The royal "I," as in Reese. 476 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,317 Because I think we can all identify 477 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,118 with what he's going through. 478 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:16,389 You took that test, didn't you? 479 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:18,358 You cheated... 480 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,727 You let him cheat for you? 481 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,964 You gave something he wrote an "F"?! 482 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,566 (thunder crashes) 483 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,335 You a out to get him. 484 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,470 Oh, I can't wait to see you expelled or disbarred 485 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,738 or whatever it is they do 486 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,307 to creepy little men who abuse their power. 487 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,309 There is no need for name-calling. 488 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:39,145 I suggest we just leave things as they are... 489 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,413 Oh, I don't think so. 490 00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:42,482 WOODWARD: Here's the situation: 491 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,650 if you notify the school, 492 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,185 then the school will find out Malcolm cheated. 493 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,654 He'll be expelled. 494 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,656 Don't you threaten me. 495 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,990 This isn't a threat. 496 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,359 I just don't think you'd throw away 497 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,927 the son who achieves for... 498 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,729 well, Reese. 499 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,366 You don't think I'd sacrifice this one? 500 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,934 Let me explain something to you. 501 00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,836 I would sell Malcolm down the river 502 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,238 in a heartbeat to save Reese. 503 00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:07,006 What? Malcolm's gonna be fine 504 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:07,907 no matter what happens. 505 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,175 Maybe he'll have to go 506 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,943 to junior college or start off blue collar, 507 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,045 but he'll work his way up to management eventually. 508 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,581 Reese is the one who needs saving. 509 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,251 I don't believe you. 510 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:23,423 No mother could ever be that callous to her own son. 511 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,227 Mom, please let me come home! 512 00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:31,230 I'm cold and I'm hungry! 513 00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,632 Please, I'll fix the roof! 514 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:36,035 I'll paint the house, I'll do anything, Mom! 515 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,371 Please, just let me live indoors, Mom! 516 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,273 Please, I want to be warm again! 517 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,708 Mom, please! 518 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,975 (sobbing) 519 00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,979 Maybe we can work something out. 520 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,083 There you go, Tony. 521 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,452 Night-night. 522 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,889 Oh, my God, look at the size of that thing. 523 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:57,724 (screams) 524 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:58,925 Dewey, what in the...? 525 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,761 Run, Tony, Run! 526 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,065 Why are they always named Tony? 527 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,734 Bye, Tony. 528 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,703 I love you. 529 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,774 (hammers pounding) 530 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:22,081 Yeah, it's cold, filthy and dangerous, 531 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,583 but I say we got off easy. 532 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,185 If we all pitch in, we should be done in a week. 533 00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:28,254 Hey, hurry up. 534 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,456 I'm trying. 535 00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,958 I've got tar in my eyes.