1 00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:04,405 Okay, I think I fixed the leak. 2 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:07,308 Let me just reattach this here. 3 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,077 Try it now. 4 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,845 Now there's hot water coming out of both taps. 5 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,647 What? 6 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,216 Is that really so bad? 7 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,750 You always complain there's not enough hot water. 8 00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,552 It wouldn't kill you to hire a professional 9 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,020 every once in a while. 10 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,022 It costs $70 just to get them in the house. 11 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,524 Look, I know my work isn't perfect, 12 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:25,159 but I am saving us a ton of money, 13 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,428 and at least the job gets done. 14 00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:32,333 Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone at the door. 15 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,903 * Yes, no, maybe 16 00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,439 * I don't know 17 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,709 * Can you repeat the question? 18 00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,944 * You're not the boss of me now * 19 00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:46,380 * You're not the boss of me now * 20 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,782 * You're not the boss of me now * 21 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,884 * And you're not so big 22 00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:53,287 * You're not the boss of me now * 23 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:55,389 * You're not the boss of me now * 24 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,925 * You're not the boss of me now * 25 00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,728 * And you're not so big 26 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:05,132 * Life is unfair. 27 00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:11,539 HAL: The tension is palpable here at the 8,215th 28 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,141 Daily Shaving Olympics. 29 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,975 Hal has lost crucial seconds in his lathering, 30 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,611 but he hopes to make it up with his blade work. 31 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:18,979 This is for the gold. 32 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,581 LOIS: Hal, boys, breakfast! 33 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:21,815 Bacon Day! 34 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,521 (grunting) 35 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,731 Dewey, don't be scared, 36 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,467 but there's a big spider next to you. 37 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:43,304 Yeah, Dad. There's always a spider on Bacon Day. 38 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,105 You know, I'm not feeling that good. 39 00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,807 I could give Dad some of mine, 40 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,310 but that's not really in the true spirit of Bacon Day. 41 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,444 Mom, my stomach hurts. 42 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,645 So does mine. 43 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,248 I'm not kidding, it's really sore. 44 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,616 Ow! It hurts! 45 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:56,484 Shut up, Reese. 46 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,985 Mom... I see spots! 47 00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,653 Mommy! 48 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:00,954 All right, that's enough. 49 00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,756 I don't care what test you didn't study for 50 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,325 or what assignment you didn't do, 51 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:05,593 you're going to school. 52 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,694 You know, now that you mention it... 53 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,295 Everybody's going. 54 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:12,032 Sir, what are you doing? 55 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,667 Why are you taking away our TV? 56 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,669 It's for your own good, cadet. 57 00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:18,105 But that is the only thing that makes this place bearable. 58 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,974 Television rots the mind, cadet. 59 00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,810 How can you focus on your studies 60 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,545 and improve your character 61 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:28,482 if your brain is full of your Morks and your Mindys? 62 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:31,151 Now you'll have time for more worthwhile endeavors. 63 00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,053 Write a letter. I'm sure your parole officers 64 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:35,689 will appreciate the personal touch. 65 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:38,559 Okay, that is ridiculous. 66 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:39,660 I mean, we should do something. 67 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,195 He's right. 68 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:42,896 Spangler doesn't get to make arbitrary decisions 69 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,498 about our lives. 70 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,335 He can't tell us where to go and what to do. 71 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,370 Oh, wait... he can. 72 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:50,804 Face it, Francis, 73 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,640 we're like prisoners but without the rights. 74 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,174 Okay, so we're helpless. 75 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:57,378 But even helpless people have options. 76 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,847 History is full of supposedly powerless people 77 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,850 who found a way to stand up to their oppressors. 78 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:03,984 What are you talking about? 79 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,719 Civil disobedience. 80 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,521 You know, like a hunger strike. 81 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,223 We could do that. 82 00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:12,025 I mean, he doesn't want a bunch of starving kids on his hands. 83 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,093 That would totally work. 84 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,061 I don't know. 85 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,263 Isn't that a bit drastic? 86 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,597 Can't we wait till after lunch? 87 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,232 What are we having? Shepherd's pie. 88 00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:20,268 The strike starts now! 89 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:21,602 (cheering) 90 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,572 Malcolm, why are you walking like that? 91 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,340 My side still hurts. 92 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:27,775 But it's the weekend. 93 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,582 Okay, everybody get in the car. 94 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,584 We're going to the hospital. 95 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:42,189 Mom, why does that man have a lightbulb stuck... 96 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,892 Dewey, get away from there. 97 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:46,894 Dad, you okay? 98 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:47,928 I'm fine, son. 99 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,930 Just not a big fan of hospitals. 100 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,266 Oh, they can dress it up with plants and pictures, 101 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,035 but let's face it, this place is a slaughterhouse. 102 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,304 Hal... 103 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,472 Okay, we've run some tests. 104 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:00,073 His white count is 12.2, 105 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,809 and with these acute abdominal pains, 106 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:04,312 I'm pretty sure we're looking at appendicitis. 107 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,379 We'll hold him 108 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:06,814 for observation tonight, 109 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,949 and then tomorrow he'll probably need surgery. 110 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,318 I'm having surgery? 111 00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,052 There's nothing to worry about, son. 112 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,121 You'll barely even have a scar. 113 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,255 If you can just sign these release forms, 114 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:17,925 we'll check him in. 115 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,627 They're going to cut you open? 116 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:20,994 Like a trout. 117 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,330 Don't worry, you won't feel a thing; 118 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:23,397 you'll be unconscious. 119 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,798 Not necessarily. 120 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,934 I saw this thing on TV where this guy woke up 121 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,336 in the middle of his operation 122 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,338 and could feel everything they were doing, 123 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:34,141 but he was paralyzed and couldn't even scream. 124 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,410 Reese, for the love of God, stop talking. 125 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:37,911 Mom... Honey, don't worry about it. 126 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,447 You're going to have your own TV, 127 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,781 you're going to have people to wait on you; 128 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,015 it's going to be a lot better 129 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,317 than being at home. 130 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,988 Why do I have to stay in the kids' ward? 131 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,790 I'm sorry, honey, but you're six months too young 132 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:50,824 to have an adult room. 133 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,192 I hear if you're really good, 134 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:54,862 they'll put apple juice in your sippy cup. 135 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,163 (Hal whimpering) 136 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,265 Dad, do you want to wait out in the car? 137 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,667 (inhales deeply) 138 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,335 No. I'm okay. 139 00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,003 I'm fine. 140 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,805 I'm on a beach. 141 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,140 There's the surf, there's sand, 142 00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,142 there's... needles. 143 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:13,313 There's the horrible choking stench of hospital antiseptic. 144 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,382 Hal! 145 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,649 Coming. 146 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,317 I think I better take your father home. 147 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,686 You'll be okay. 148 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:24,392 Hey, feel better, sport. 149 00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:26,827 Reese, give your brother a hug. 150 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:27,861 Aw, Mom. 151 00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,597 Do it! 152 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,833 If you tell anyone I hugged you, 153 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,402 I'll put you right back in here. 154 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,070 Bye. 155 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,741 Why did she make him hug me? 156 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:45,546 Wait. Why did she make him hug me? 157 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,316 Wow, it's sure quiet without Malcolm here. 158 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,584 Poor little guy. 159 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,352 There's an extra pork chop. Mine! 160 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,056 Go ahead. I'm stuffed. 161 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:56,924 Me, too. 162 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,426 So am I. 163 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,594 I was just hoping someone would fight me for it. 164 00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,432 Hey, can we play "March and Conquer"? 165 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,899 That game's no fun. 166 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,602 Malcolm always creams us in, like, five minutes. 167 00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:09,937 Yeah, can we? 168 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,673 I... don't know. 169 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,174 Please? 170 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,943 We need at least three people or we can't play. 171 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,879 Oh, all right. 172 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,080 (laughter, cheering) 173 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,281 Okay, Lois, 174 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,216 let's see how well you defend the Black Sea 175 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,352 without Bosporus and the Dardanelles. 176 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,621 Yeah, yeah, just wait. 177 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,790 Wow, it's been an hour and I'm still in the game. 178 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,526 I usually tip the board over way before now. 179 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,194 Guess what? 180 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,263 We look just like the family on the box. 181 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,631 Oh, yeah. 182 00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:39,132 Can I be the little girl? 183 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,001 Not on my watch, son. 184 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,942 You want to play "Go Fish"? 185 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:52,980 No. I didn't want to play five minutes ago. 186 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,916 I didn't want to play an hour ago. 187 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,418 I don't want to play! 188 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,922 You got any fives? 189 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,223 (door opens) 190 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,392 And this is our inflamed appendix. 191 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,828 The patient arrived today complaining 192 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,263 of abdominal pain in the right lower quadrant. 193 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,632 Ow! 194 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,501 We're going to have to start him on an I.V. 195 00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:14,935 Cathryn? 196 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:15,803 Oh, God. 197 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,004 Not me again. 198 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,238 Please! 199 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,073 It'll be fine this time, Cathryn. 200 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,675 Accidents happen. 201 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,844 Can maybe someone else... Helmut will hold him still. 202 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,252 (muffled scream) 203 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,954 If you feel pain, 204 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:37,625 you can bite down on his hand just as hard as you want. 205 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,359 Helmut won't mind. 206 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,167 How long has it been since we ate? 207 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,103 33 hours, 12 minutes. 208 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,673 Oh, man, they're serving dinner right now. 209 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,041 (sniffs) Ten-hut! 210 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:02,349 I found myself eating the last several meals alone. 211 00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:03,884 Are we dieting? 212 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,520 Don't tell me it's prom season already. 213 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,188 We're on a hunger strike, sir. 214 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,658 We're not eating until you return the television. 215 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:14,795 Ah... passive resistance. 216 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,198 The last resort of slackers and sissies. 217 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,499 What about Gandhi? 218 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,068 Sissy. 219 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,336 We're making a stand here, sir. 220 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,806 We will not back down until we get justice. 221 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,575 Now let me see if I've got this straight. 222 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:32,078 I get to continue to eat, but you don't. 223 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,948 Ooh, I feel the pressure already. 224 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:39,919 Ow, make it stop. 225 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,456 * 226 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,352 Go, Mom! Nice! 227 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,553 Go, Mom! 228 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,422 Okay, you can do this the easy way 229 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,890 and surrender with dignity, 230 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:18,191 or I can destroy you. 231 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,894 You forget, I still have Antarctica, 232 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,129 gateway to New Zealand. 233 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,263 You got nothing. 234 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,431 Any roll other than three, 235 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,466 and the world is mine. 236 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,301 Three, three, three. 237 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,302 Three. 238 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,071 Yeah! Yay! Yes! 239 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,773 Oh, sorry, honey, you tried really hard. 240 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,541 And for a while there, I thought you might actually be... 241 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,976 Rematch. 242 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,277 All right. 243 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,446 Hal, it's after midnight. Rematch. 244 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,282 Set up the board. 245 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,684 I'll do it. 246 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,154 Here he is. 247 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,389 What? 248 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,693 You just keep quiet. You're in good hands. 249 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,128 This is to keep your head still 250 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:57,164 so Mr. Laser can do his job. 251 00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:59,066 Huh? 252 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,467 Psst. 253 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,114 Shh. 254 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,859 Oh, I'm sure it wasn't that bad. They made me use a bedpan 255 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,661 even though I could walk. 256 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:29,629 They turned off the lights at 6:30 so I couldn't even read. 257 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:32,866 And last night, some man put a metal cage on my head. 258 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,702 They were going to operate on my brain. 259 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,136 (snickers): Bedpan. 260 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,604 Sweetie, I'm sure 261 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,972 it was just a bad dream. 262 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,774 Besides, I'm feeling a lot better now. 263 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,342 I don't even think I need surgery. 264 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,177 It's okay. Surgery makes everybody a little scared. 265 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,680 Trust me, this is going to be over before you know it. 266 00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:49,049 HAL: (groans) Between the stench of disease 267 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:52,452 and all those waffles, I don't feel very well. 268 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,486 What waffles? 269 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,521 Oh, man, you missed it. 270 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,823 We went to Pancake Pete's. 271 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,624 We never go out to breakfast. 272 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,893 Well, we stayed up late playing March and Conquer, 273 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,394 and your mother was too tired to cook. 274 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:04,064 You guys played March and Conquer without me? 275 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,866 Oh, Malcolm, you didn't miss anything last night. 276 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,334 These guys are a bunch of pushovers. 277 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:11,138 Pushovers? I held Kamchatka for three hours. 278 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,472 Look, we're going to take the boys home, 279 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,007 and then your dad and I will be back 280 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,675 in time for your operation, okay? 281 00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:21,815 Dewey, you're wearing my shirt. 282 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,917 Am I? 283 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,454 (stomachs grumbling) 284 00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,492 I'm so hungry. 285 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,095 I think we proved our point. 286 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:40,533 Guys, this hunger strike will only work if we stick together. 287 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,435 Now, we can do this. 288 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,004 Our stomachs have shrunk. 289 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,405 The hardest part is over. 290 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,275 SPANGLER: Good morning, cadets. 291 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,845 I must say, it is inspiring 292 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,847 to see young men with the courage 293 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:56,784 to stand up for the things they believe in. 294 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,786 Two whole days. 295 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:02,055 What an impressive show of civil disobedience. 296 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,224 That's the kind of intestinal fortitude 297 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,795 that can only be properly honored by an omelet bar. 298 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,063 (sizzling) 299 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,201 Tempting us with food isn't going to work, sir. 300 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,402 Of course not. 301 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,804 These delicious eggs 302 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,106 and choice of scrumptious fillings are for me. 303 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,740 Now, here's my dilemma. 304 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:23,210 What shall I put in my omelet? 305 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,112 Black forest ham? 306 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,746 Imported cheese? 307 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,782 Porcini mushrooms? 308 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,784 Porcini? 309 00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:31,985 Oh, what the heck! 310 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,286 Give me the works. 311 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,488 Mmm. 312 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:38,058 DABNEY: There's our fallen comrade. 313 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,927 I love Room 124. 314 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,062 STEVE: When's the... 315 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,931 appendix... 316 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,765 coming out? 317 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,801 Tonight, but-- I don't know-- I'm feeling better. 318 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,669 Maybe I don't need the operation. 319 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,805 What are you talking about?! 320 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,340 Of course you need the operation! 321 00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,008 But what if... Don't you understand? 322 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:56,776 You're sitting on a gold mine. 323 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,847 Ride the guilt train, baby, as far as it'll take you. 324 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,514 My adenoids got me this watch. 325 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:05,218 My strangulated testicle got me a week at Disneyland. 326 00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:09,756 I'm one.... procedure... 327 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,691 from a... 328 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,827 Range Rover. 329 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,529 Well, we got two hours till we have to 330 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,831 go back to the hospital. 331 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,499 You want to order in or eat leftovers? 332 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,868 Well, I'd say "you decide," 333 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,802 but then I'd be a pushover, wouldn't I? 334 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,937 What are you talking about? 335 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,272 March and Conquer. 336 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,606 You called me a pushover. 337 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,841 Don't deny it. 338 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,542 Come on, honey, I trounced you. 339 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:31,544 Just because you got all the good dice rolls 340 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,646 and you weren't saddled with Brazil to protect. 341 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,215 A-And I wouldn't call it "trounced." 342 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,483 What would you say? 343 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,717 Demolished? 344 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:41,321 Creamed? 345 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,191 Annihilated? 346 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,726 Get the board. 347 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,330 How are you, Tiger? 348 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,066 I want you to note the bedside manner. 349 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,301 Dr. Harrison, I'm glad you're here. 350 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,336 I wanted to talk to you. 351 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,205 I feeling a lot better now, 352 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,739 and my temperature's been down for six hours, 353 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:02,075 and I'm thinking that maybe my first blood test 354 00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:03,676 wasn't accurate. 355 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,079 Now, this is what we call a hysterical patient. 356 00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:07,647 I'm not hysterical. 357 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,682 I just think it'd be smart to run another blood test 358 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,418 before you commit to cutting me open. 359 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,586 Why, that's a terrific idea. 360 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,555 Really terrific. (chuckles) 361 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,290 We'll see you later. 362 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,760 What's wrong with you people?! 363 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,495 Labs make mistakes! 364 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,531 Listen to me! 365 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,767 I declare war on that blue country! 366 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,236 Reese, why are you attacking me? 367 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,270 Your dad's wide open. 368 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,072 What are you saying, Lois, 369 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,574 that the boys and I have formed a secret alliance against you? 370 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,209 (chuckles) 371 00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:39,646 Hal, that's my foot you're tapping Morse code onto. 372 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,750 (stomachs grumbling) 373 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,785 I can't take this anymore. 374 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:49,389 If I don't eat soon, I'm going to pass out. 375 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,058 This isn't worth it. 376 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,725 I agree with Finley. 377 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,594 Who are you? 378 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,363 Your roommate. 379 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,365 Oh. Yeah. 380 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,900 Hey, after the luau, you want to go parasailing? 381 00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:01,935 What? 382 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:03,536 Snap out of it. 383 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,738 You're talking crazy. 384 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,240 Why would we have a luau 385 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,242 when we're trapped in a disabled submarine? 386 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:10,477 Wait. 387 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:11,711 I hear tapping. 388 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,746 Come on, guys, we're doing good. 389 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,149 I think we're on the right track here. 390 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:19,886 If we keep this up, Commandant... 391 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,254 Uh... 392 00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:21,888 Spangler? 393 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,157 Yes. Spangler. 394 00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:26,093 Commandant Spangler will have no choice 395 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,961 but to meet our demands. 396 00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:30,130 Francis? 397 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,402 It's time we talked. 398 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,305 Will you gentlemen excuse us, please? 399 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,989 Take your time. 400 00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,592 Yes! Madagascar is mine! 401 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,294 Let me see those dice. 402 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,630 Are you accusing me of cheating?! 403 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,365 Don't be ridiculous. 404 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:09,369 (knocking) 405 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:12,672 That's the pizza delivery man. 406 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:13,873 Why don't you get it? 407 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,708 (chuckles) 408 00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:18,278 So my artillery can mysteriously disappear 409 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,847 like it did when I went to get a glass of water. 410 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,382 Or when I went to the bathroom 411 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,884 and your tanks just materialized on my border. 412 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,519 I'm not getting it. 413 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,821 (knocking) 414 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,360 Come in! 415 00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,495 WOMAN: It's locked! 416 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,498 Try the window! 417 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:39,966 What?! 418 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,701 Haven't you ever delivered pizza before?! 419 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,470 Come in through the window! 420 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,073 It's locked, too! 421 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,447 Okay, thanks anyway! 422 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:03,490 Here. Take this. 423 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,723 What's this for? 424 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,159 Sedatives. 425 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,194 Your surgery has been moved up. 426 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,362 What do you mean, moved up? 427 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,696 My parents aren't even here. 428 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,566 I'm sure they've been notified. 429 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,001 Look, I'm not taking these 430 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,836 until after I get another blood test. 431 00:17:16,868 --> 00:17:19,005 Take the pills. 432 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,339 No! I'm not going to! 433 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,608 You can't force... 434 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,578 I know you are frightened, 435 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,914 and that is normal for a little boy. 436 00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:31,050 But now you must let the grown-ups handle things. 437 00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:35,122 All you have to do is relax and let the pills take effect. 438 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,058 That's a good boy. 439 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,827 (spits) (groans) 440 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,148 It's your move, Reese. 441 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,882 What are you going to do? 442 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,151 I don't know! 443 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,418 I'm hungry. 444 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,154 Reese, if you attack me, you're grounded. 445 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,122 If you don't attack her, you're grounded! 446 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:10,257 Stop it! 447 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,824 I don't want to play anymore! 448 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:12,925 I hate this game. 449 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,294 It's never been this horrible, 450 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,763 even when Malcolm was kicking our butts. 451 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,333 He's right. 452 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:22,101 Look what we've become. 453 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,936 Without Malcolm humiliating us, 454 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,105 our worst competitive instincts took over. 455 00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:29,842 I'm ashamed for all of us. 456 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,345 So, you're quitting? 457 00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,080 Let it go, Lois. 458 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,948 Ah, you're right. 459 00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,850 Reese, do the honors. 460 00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,654 Good. Now, who wants to go outside 461 00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,956 and watch me burn the evil game? 462 00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:45,258 (cheering) 463 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,793 I have to admit, cadet, 464 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,329 I thought you boys would have surrendered by now, 465 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,464 but instead, you have shown 466 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,533 (distorted): strength of will, teamwork, 467 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,134 and a willingness to sacrifice. 468 00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,669 Well done. 469 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,371 With what? 470 00:18:58,405 --> 00:18:59,539 The strike. 471 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,441 Right, right, the strike. 472 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,810 Well, that's good, 'cause... 473 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,778 we weren't going to do... 474 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:09,516 the thing... until we got back... 475 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:11,851 Well, you know. 476 00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,189 Yes, I believe I do. 477 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:20,026 (distorted): Shall we discuss terms? 478 00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,294 We did it. 479 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,529 The strike's over. 480 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:23,530 We won! 481 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,632 (cheering) 482 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,568 We got his magic hat! 483 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,204 What about the television? 484 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,506 Huh? 485 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,011 Here's your blood test, man. 486 00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:40,480 Thanks. Here's my urine. 487 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,349 Good luck on the drug test, 488 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,684 but I really think you should get some help. 489 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,187 I knew it! 490 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,324 Oh, good-- Helmut. 491 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,025 I've been looking all over for you. 492 00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,494 I have great news. 493 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,195 You see, I just had another blood test, 494 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,765 and it shows that I really don't need surgery, because... 495 00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:00,433 If the blood count goes down to normal, 496 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,034 that means it isn't appendicitis. 497 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,403 It was probably just a transient infection 498 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,104 or maybe even a cold sore. 499 00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:07,139 Yes, little boy. 500 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,713 I need... to talk to Dr. Harrison. 501 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,615 Count backwards from a hundred. 502 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,884 HARRISON: Hi there, sport. 503 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:19,919 We'll have that appendix out in no time. 504 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,454 (weak mumbling) 505 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:25,392 HARRISON: Okay, scalpel. 506 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,960 Huh? Hold on a second. 507 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:31,864 "Do not operate. 508 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:35,568 'H' and 'H': 16 and 47, platelets: 310..." 509 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:38,237 These are blood test results. 510 00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:39,406 "White count: 8.4"? 511 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,073 Is that right? 512 00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,142 "I will sue your ass for malpract..." 513 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:46,813 Uh, maybe we should run another blood test. 514 00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,214 Spangler was right. 515 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,916 Who needs television? 516 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,384 This is nice. 517 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:55,388 Get some fresh air, some exercise. 518 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,089 Nice drive. 519 00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,157 Thanks. 520 00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,393 I think this hat is magic. 521 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,228 (chuckling) 522 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,096 Right, Francis? 523 00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:05,298 Uh-huh. 524 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:08,034 Oh, remember to replace your divots. 525 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,638 There's nothing like two days at the hospital 526 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,506 to make you appreciate your own home. 527 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:14,574 Give me that! 528 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,642 Oh, my God! 529 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:17,143 Look at Malcolm's hospital bill. 530 00:21:17,176 --> 00:21:18,745 I'd hate to think what it'd cost 531 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,246 if he'd actually had the operation. 532 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,081 There goes our summer vacation. 533 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,652 So we have to pay even though he was faking? 534 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,286 I wasn't faking. 535 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,955 I'm the one who figured out they were wrong, remember? 536 00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:30,823 Well, if you're such a genius, 537 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:32,959 why didn't you figure it out sooner? 538 00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:36,496 Well, son, you want to answer that for us all? 539 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,297 Nothing like ten seconds at home 540 00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:40,467 to make you appreciate the hospital.