1 00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:19,353 Great pancakes, Dad. 2 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,756 Oh, thanks. 3 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,325 Hey, who's ready for seconds? 4 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,693 (coughs) 5 00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:26,994 I am. 6 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,598 * Yes, no, maybe 7 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,033 * I don't know 8 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:36,337 * Can you repeat the question? 9 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,506 * You're not the boss of me now * 10 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,041 * You're not the boss of me now * 11 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,344 * You're not the boss of me now * 12 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,446 * And you're not so big 13 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,048 * You're not the boss of me now * 14 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:50,050 * You're not the boss of me now * 15 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,686 * You're not the boss of me now * 16 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,523 * And you're not so big 17 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:59,793 * Life is unfair. 18 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:04,897 So, which one of these pinks 19 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,434 do you want to let float this month-- 20 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:07,868 cable or Visa? 21 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,203 Oh, we can probably go without cable. 22 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,438 You know, it might be fun. 23 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,039 We'll get together as a family, 24 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,241 play board games, sing songs. 25 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:14,708 Okay, you made your point. 26 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,310 We'll pay the cable. 27 00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:18,746 Oh... for crying out loud. 28 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,281 The freezer's out again. 29 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,215 What?! 30 00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,217 We just had that fixed. 31 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,486 I know, the stupid piece of junk. 32 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,320 Oh... 33 00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,821 It's only five years old. 34 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:30,124 How could it keep breaking down? 35 00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,461 Aw, man! 36 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,663 (screaming) 37 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,168 I'll go get the ice chest from the garage, 38 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,569 providing that still works. 39 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,570 REESE: Nuh-uh! 40 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:43,304 MALCOLM: Uh-huh! 41 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,572 We'll let Mom settle this. 42 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,174 The loser licks the tub drain. Deal. 43 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:47,841 Mom, whose tongue's longer? 44 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:50,077 (pounding on window) 45 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,914 Are you going to make us stand out here all day?! 46 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,949 Mom! Dad! 47 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,818 (whispering): Oh, my God, honey! 48 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,187 Your parents are here! 49 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,027 Oh, God. 50 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:10,431 Dewey, your grandparents are here. 51 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:13,100 Hey, come on in. 52 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,435 So, this is certainly unexpected. 53 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,570 What brings you all the way down from Canada? 54 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,773 Wait a minute, this can't be Reese. 55 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,841 Yep. 56 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,210 Uh, what's the matter with you? 57 00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:23,844 Don't you clean behind your ears? 58 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:24,945 Look what I found! 59 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:25,946 Ha-ha, five bucks! 60 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:26,947 Thanks, Grandpa. 61 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,148 (chuckles) 62 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,284 So, Grandpa, did you have a nice drive down? 63 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:33,554 Huh? I said, did you have a nice drive down? 64 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,956 I can't hear this one. He sounds like girl. 65 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,958 So, you just decided to hop in the car 66 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,126 and drive on down from Canada 67 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,961 without calling ahead, huh? 68 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,029 How fun! 69 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,797 Yeah, how long do you think you'll be staying? 70 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:46,967 If we're such big inconvenience, we go right now. 71 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,302 No. No, no, no, no, no. 72 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:49,303 Please... Don't be silly. 73 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:52,072 Uh, Dewey, you remember your grandparents, 74 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,974 don't you, sweetie? 75 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,976 He needs changing. 76 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,878 He always needs changing. 77 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:58,979 You take him. 78 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,814 Ooh, let him sit in it. 79 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:01,882 That will teach him. 80 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,083 (laughs nervously) 81 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,152 I don't want to take him; he smells. 82 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,221 (baby crying) 83 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:11,058 Ooh, that's what happens to little boys who squirm. 84 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,360 Mmm... 85 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,930 REPORTER: It's estimated that as many as 30,000 young people 86 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,233 have descended on New Orleans 87 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,435 to join in the annual Mardi Gras festivities. 88 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:24,171 At this hour police have been called in to try and... 89 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,440 Look at those animals going berserk, 90 00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:29,677 tearing each other's clothes off. 91 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,444 Those are people 92 00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,179 with no respect for authority. 93 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,581 Eric's right, that could be us. 94 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,715 If we left right now 95 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,750 we could be in New Orleans in five hours. 96 00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,051 How we going to get there? 97 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,287 And where are we going to stay? 98 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,721 Gentlemen, you quibble with me 99 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,424 about logistics when I'm offering you 48 hours 100 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,793 of non-stop debauchery? 101 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,862 This could be the greatest weekend of our lives. 102 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,865 (whimpering) 103 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:52,866 Damn, Francis, 104 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:53,634 you should have known better 105 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,369 than to eat sushi at a truck stop. 106 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,438 Hey, the cashier said the yellowtail was fresh. 107 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,407 Besides, my octopus was excellent. 108 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,975 Can we not talk about the fish, please? 109 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,211 Guys, it's like a war zone out there. 110 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,946 There's looting, rioting, and now 111 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,248 the cops are turning a fire hose on the crowd. 112 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,251 ALL: Wet T-shirts! 113 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,388 (muffled coughing) 114 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:15,923 Sorry about the takeout. 115 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,757 I don't know what the deal is with the fridge. 116 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,459 What do you expect? 117 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,762 That brand is dishufka. 118 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,433 That's it. 119 00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:26,434 Fatten up on pizza. 120 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,001 Good luck running 121 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:31,372 when they come with the dogs and chase you into the hills. 122 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,241 You know, I think it's great 123 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,076 you're able to just hit the road 124 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,578 without a care in the world. 125 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,414 Oh... right... yeah, with me 126 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,750 I'm always thinking about things back home. 127 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,785 You know, did I leave the stove on? 128 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,620 Is the iron plugged in? 129 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,022 I once heard of a fire being caused by a mouse 130 00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,023 chewing through an... 131 00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:51,425 Where is my coffee? 132 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:55,195 Uh, it's right here, Dad, just the way you like it. 133 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:56,630 Mom, I really wish 134 00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:57,965 you'd put out that cigarette. 135 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,266 It's not good for the kids. 136 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,034 What, you think it'll stunt their growth? 137 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,035 (sputters) 138 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,337 You turned out big enough. 139 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,107 Look at him eat, like animal! 140 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,108 (laughs) 141 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:08,976 Not like Mr. Pizza 142 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,011 with knife and fork. 143 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,346 You know, Dad, 144 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,781 since the last time you were here, 145 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,283 uh, Malcolm has been put into a special class. 146 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,618 I'm not surprised. 147 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,052 No, no, no, no, no, it's, uh, 148 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,954 it's an advanced class. 149 00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,222 It's very challenging work. 150 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,891 Tell him, Malcolm. 151 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,826 Well, today we finished reading Grapes of Wrath 152 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,461 and we're studying advanced algebra. 153 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:30,297 (shouting): What is that, shot at me? 154 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,632 I no study algebra? 155 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,634 It's because I go to war when I was your age. 156 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,837 What good is math in war, huh? 157 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,475 When you can provide for your family, 158 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:46,714 you can have last piece of pizza. 159 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:51,419 Dad, Hal provides for us just fine. 160 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:54,321 Which isn't easy when someone's hogging all the pizza. 161 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,490 You can't even keep food in the house 162 00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,191 for my grandchild. 163 00:05:58,225 --> 00:05:59,493 Do you call that providing? 164 00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:02,095 We will get the refrigerator fixed. 165 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,564 For what, so it can break again? 166 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,332 What does a new one cost? 167 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,601 $700, $800? 168 00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:10,203 I give you $800 to buy a new one! 169 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:13,841 Thank God our generation knew to save our money, to hold onto. 170 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:17,377 We didn't fritter it away on things like toys and dolls. 171 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,680 I dressed up piece of wood 172 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,214 and I was happy to have it. 173 00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:24,117 We will not take your money. 174 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,953 Of course you will! 175 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,755 We love you too much to stand by 176 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:31,024 and watch your children grow up ashamed of you. 177 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,960 This is what family is for. 178 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,228 MALCOLM (over phone): Hello. 179 00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:36,697 FRANCIS: Malcolm, listen, 180 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,866 I need to know what Mom used to put in the hot tea 181 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:39,867 when we were sick. 182 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:40,868 Is she around? 183 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,403 I think she's changing the sheets on their bed. 184 00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,538 Grandma and Grandpa are here. 185 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,273 (groaning): Oh, you're kidding. 186 00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:47,941 So, did they knock, or did you just hear 187 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,943 their cloven hooves clatter up the driveway? 188 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,379 I can't be sure, but I think Grandpa spit at me. 189 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,381 Look, don't take it personally. 190 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,717 They're primeval creatures with tiny little hearts. 191 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,252 Yeah, but there must be some reason... 192 00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,288 Malcolm, they have stupid lizard brains. 193 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,556 They're threatened by anyone 194 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,892 with an ounce of ambition or intelligence. 195 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,860 They'd eat you if they had better teeth. 196 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:10,564 This one, always on phone. 197 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:11,799 That's Grandpa, isn't it? 198 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,267 Tell him I said he's a malevolent, poisonous troll. 199 00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,504 Francis says, "Hi." 200 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,271 No-good delinquent. 201 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:19,607 He says "Hi" back. 202 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,342 LOIS: No, absolutely not. 203 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,944 I will not let you take their money. 204 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,278 Why not? 205 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,747 Because they'll never let you forget 206 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,348 that they had to give you $800. 207 00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,283 They'll use it to try to humiliate you. 208 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,752 They do that now. 209 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,588 Lois, come on, I know what your folks think of me. 210 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:37,090 We need the fridge. 211 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:41,328 We can't store the meat on the porch forever. 212 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,897 I'm big enough to take one for the team. 213 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,267 What? 214 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,870 You're better than all of us. 215 00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:53,874 Oh... 216 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:57,845 TOY: Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo! 217 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,446 (sighs) 218 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,015 We can't do this on Dewey's bed. 219 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,186 Reese's looks okay. 220 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,724 (ice clattering) 221 00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,125 Thank you. 222 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,493 Hmm. 223 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,195 Do you know this thing makes ice cubes 224 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,797 in both circular and crescent shapes? 225 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,465 How do they expect people to decide? 226 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,466 Well, it's nice to have 227 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,701 something in the house that works. 228 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,969 Yeah. 229 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,471 You know, maybe in their dark, twisted world, 230 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:28,175 this is how your parents show love. 231 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,477 Hey, Victor, pretty great, huh? 232 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,979 My descending colon's inflamed. 233 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:32,880 What's great? 234 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:33,981 Uh, listen, Dad, 235 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:34,748 I just mailed off 236 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:35,982 the mortgage and car payments, 237 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,085 and what with buying the new refrigerator and all, 238 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,520 we should probably get that check from you right away. 239 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:43,991 About that... your mother and I decided it's no good 240 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,493 for family to give money to family. 241 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,762 Always ends badly. 242 00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:51,665 Pulp! 243 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:55,035 Who buys orange juice with pulp? 244 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:04,778 How can they do this?! 245 00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,246 How can they just offer us money 246 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,615 and then pretend it never happened? 247 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,782 I am going to kill them. 248 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,851 I swear I'm going to snap their necks like chickens! 249 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,753 That is not going to pay off the debt, Lois. 250 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,854 Unless you're a beneficiary 251 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,589 on some sort of life insurance policy. 252 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:16,590 What am I saying? 253 00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:17,725 Look, look, why don't we just 254 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,526 return the refrigerator? 255 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,928 I can't. I bought it on sale. 256 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,429 Oh, Hal, what are we going to do? 257 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,363 Well, what choice do we have? 258 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,364 For the next couple of weeks, 259 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,966 until we get caught back up, 260 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,368 we're just going to have to work a ton of overtime. 261 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,369 Oh, really? 262 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,904 And who's going to look after the kids? 263 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:34,307 So, we thought the perfect thing might be 264 00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,709 if you could stay a little longer 265 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,211 and keep an eye on the kids. 266 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,713 I don't know. 267 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,382 Mother and I should go. 268 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,985 We sense tension. 269 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,987 No! 270 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,121 Oh, no! 271 00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:49,189 (both laughing) 272 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,124 Oh, no, no, no, there's no, there's no tension. 273 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,794 We just, uh, we have a couple of hectic weeks coming up 274 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:57,898 and we just hoped that you could stay a little longer. 275 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,166 Of course. 276 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,668 We do anything for you. 277 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,069 We are a family. 278 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,671 (chuckles) 279 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:04,805 Oh, Dewey, hey, guess what. 280 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:05,973 Grandma and Grandpa 281 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,675 are going to stay and watch you guys 282 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,777 for the next couple of weeks. 283 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,346 (car engine starts) 284 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,352 (ringing bike bell) 285 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,624 (engine revs) 286 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,003 How you doing, Francis? 287 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,971 I need a doctor. 288 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,773 We got you something better, man. 289 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,675 We brought you beads! 290 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:42,943 (all cheering and laughing) 291 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,812 You wouldn't believe it out there, Francis. 292 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:45,979 There's free beer 293 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,181 and the women take their tops off 294 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,282 when you give them beads. 295 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,685 Is it possible we crashed our car on the way down here 296 00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,620 and died and went to heaven? 297 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,123 I'd welcome death right now. 298 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,259 I can't believe this is you talking, Francis. 299 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,695 You're our leader. 300 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:04,164 If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't even be here. 301 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,633 You know what? 302 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,835 You're right. 303 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,402 This is Mardi Gras. 304 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:10,403 I can do this. 305 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:11,404 Yeah. All right. 306 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,405 Give me those beads. 307 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,207 Yeah! Come on! 308 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,376 (all cheering) 309 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,311 ALL (chanting): Francis! Francis! 310 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,248 Francis! Francis! Francis! 311 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,183 (Francis vomits, woman groans) 312 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,718 (Francis groaning) 313 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:28,521 Thank God we found a hotel with a drain in the hallway. 314 00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:31,825 We're back. 315 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,526 Still no parents? 316 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,163 If you're going to work all the time, 317 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,665 don't have children. 318 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,868 Hey, I wanted ice cream. I don't blame you. 319 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,169 Why do they always do that? 320 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,571 They take you for ice cream and stuff and never ask me. 321 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,006 I've thought about that. 322 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:50,043 And I think they see me as the protector of the bloodline. 323 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,679 If the future's half as bad as Grandpa and I suspect, 324 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,215 the only survivors are going to be mutants, 325 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,851 cockroaches and me... 326 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,287 all living underwater. 327 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,957 Let's face it: they're backing a winner. 328 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,794 Oh, man, I'm stuffed. 329 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,462 I shouldn't have had a second one. 330 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,066 (coughing) 331 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,240 (coughing) 332 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,709 Are you okay, Grandma? 333 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,444 'Cause I could carry your purse for you. 334 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,246 Or maybe your whiskey. 335 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:30,550 I once strangled a border guard with my bare hands. 336 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,052 Just asking. 337 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,322 So, I studied about your country in school. 338 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:36,790 Always with the books. 339 00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:39,492 You won't be happy till you get eye cancer. 340 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,660 No, really. 341 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,796 I found the folklore very interesting. 342 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,065 And the history, the wars, the revolution. 343 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,567 It must've been very hard for you growing up. 344 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,737 It was. 345 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,472 Very hard. 346 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:56,143 Have a snort. 347 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,078 Maybe later. 348 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,313 (scoffs) 349 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:04,117 Hey, look at the mama's boy. 350 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,053 (laughing) 351 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,589 You going to take that? What? 352 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,124 Hey, you boys! 353 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,960 Come back here and say that. 354 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,661 Grandma, what are you doing? 355 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,764 Who's this? Your 90-year-old bodyguard? 356 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,632 No, no, it's okay. 357 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,869 She's kidding. 358 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,308 Nushkaya zibhat shinka! 359 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,912 Ow! 360 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,182 Grandma. 361 00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:38,018 Oh, geez. 362 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,155 I don't know why you won't tell me who did this. 363 00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:45,358 You know, there's no honor in protecting a bully. 364 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,795 Okay, it's your face. 365 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,232 Mom, do you...? 366 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,669 Do you like your parents? 367 00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,638 It doesn't matter how I feel about them. 368 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,008 It's not like I can trade them in for someone else. 369 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,742 You can't pick your parents. 370 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,644 You're pretty much stuck with who you get. 371 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,179 I know. 372 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,051 Anyway, they're certainly not going to change. 373 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,819 If things get too difficult, 374 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,422 at least I can be grateful that soon they'll be gone. 375 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,290 Back to their own home? 376 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,692 Yeah. 377 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,362 That's what I meant. 378 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,369 Never thought I'd beat you home. 379 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,039 They had us keep both registers open till midnight. 380 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,773 What kind of idiot needs a beach ball 381 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:35,742 at 11:00 at night? 382 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,344 Did you make the kids' lunches? 383 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,711 Oh, right. No, not yet. 384 00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,347 I've been kind of tied up here. 385 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,782 You know, I discovered something kind of interesting, yeah. 386 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:46,186 Now, it appears the circular cubes cool quicker, 387 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,088 but the crescent ones last longer. 388 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:51,691 Oh, for God's sake, Hal, will you quit playing around? 389 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,961 That is a rectal thermometer. 390 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,796 I'm going to go brush my teeth. 391 00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:59,032 You know, I ask you to do one simple thing. 392 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,568 I can't do it all myself, you know? 393 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,478 Hey. 394 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:12,879 Are you upset about something? 395 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,082 Look, I'm tired. I just got off a double shift. 396 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,449 I want to go to bed. 397 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,484 Sure. 398 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:19,252 You just seemed a little snappish about the cubes. 399 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:22,155 Because I'm tired of you not helping out around here. 400 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:23,623 All right, Lois. 401 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:26,559 I know we're both a little raw from the last five days, 402 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,594 but that's no reason 403 00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,297 to dump your frustration with your parents onto me. 404 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,131 On you? Oh, yes. 405 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,799 Because that's what this is all about. 406 00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,134 You're angry at them 407 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,469 and you're displacing your anger onto me. 408 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,138 I mean, it is classic. 409 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,240 Oh, I'm displacing, am I? 410 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,675 Kind of like how you're focusing all your attention 411 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,577 on that monstrosity in the kitchen? 412 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:45,745 See, I knew it! 413 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,180 You don't like the refrigerator. 414 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:50,117 I hate that refrigerator. 415 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,252 I hate its tubular handles. 416 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,920 I hate the way it keeps the butter. 417 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,755 I hate that, when I'm trying to sleep, 418 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,324 I can hear it whirring. 419 00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,925 Oh, no, you can't. 420 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,427 Yes, yes, I can. 421 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,794 No. Not the 5100. 422 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,930 That motor housing is four layers thick, Lois. 423 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:04,998 Four layers. 424 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:10,037 And it keeps things too cold. 425 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,707 That is unfounded criticism, Lois. 426 00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,109 Unfounded and unfair. 427 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:21,114 And until you apologize, I will be in the garage. 428 00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:24,317 IDA: I told you there was tension. 429 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:25,418 (door slams) 430 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,295 Hey, Grandma. 431 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,197 Grandpa wanted to know if you could... 432 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:37,964 Ow! 433 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,132 What was that for? 434 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,401 See, you not even try to defend yourself. 435 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,969 Why are you so weak? 436 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,971 I wasn't expecting for you to hit me. 437 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,306 That's what they're counting on 438 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,409 when they kick down your door in the middle of the night. Ow! 439 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,244 Grandma, stop this. 440 00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,146 Come on, show me what you got. Come on, come on. 441 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,847 Grandma, I'm not going to hit you. 442 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,816 A kid should never have to say that. 443 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,884 So how you going to fight these people 444 00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,153 when they throw you in the truck and take you away? 445 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,688 You going to read to them? 446 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,056 You going to impress them to death 447 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,691 with your giant know-it-all brain? 448 00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:05,825 Huh? 449 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,828 Look, I'm smart, okay? That's who I am. 450 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,029 And if you don't like the fact 451 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,864 that I'm taking high school math classes 452 00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:13,500 and reading great books, 453 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,634 well, too bad. 454 00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:17,170 Because I'm going to be successful and maybe even rich 455 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,205 because I am smart, okay? 456 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,839 So just leave me alone. 457 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,009 And I'm going to be just fine! 458 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,176 Ow. 459 00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:25,011 Ha! 460 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,547 I warned you about the eyes. 461 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,784 What's this about? 462 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,521 I want to show you something. 463 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,023 Something just for you. 464 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:41,128 I have waited many years for this moment, 465 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,363 but now that you are old enough, 466 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,699 I want to give you something 467 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,768 close to my heart. 468 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,069 Wow, is this stuff real? 469 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,304 From the big war. 470 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:54,574 Wow, is this a real gas mask? 471 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,476 Gas mask, yes. 472 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,044 Field glasses... 473 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,712 chocolate K-rations. 474 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:05,051 You get yourself nice girl with this, I tell you. 475 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,986 This is so awesome, Grandpa. 476 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,388 You're the best. 477 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,423 This is so cool. 478 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,492 God in heaven! 479 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,560 What?! 480 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,494 This is live grenade! 481 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,796 Do not let go of handle or we both die. 482 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,165 I don't want to die! 483 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,098 Don't worry, you won't. 484 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:22,101 All we have to do is find, find the pin. 485 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,836 Find the pin, put the pin back in, 486 00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,772 and then everything will fine. 487 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,843 Quit crying like baby. 488 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,011 What's going on? 489 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,413 Grandpa gave me a live grenade. 490 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,515 It's really cool. You want to hold it? 491 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,417 No, no, no. It's for you, not him. 492 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,085 Oh, my God, we have to call the police. 493 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,153 No, no police. 494 00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:41,921 No police, please. 495 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,490 There's no reason to panic. 496 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:44,924 Yes, there is. 497 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,494 You gave Reese a live grenade, and he's a total idiot. 498 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:48,428 He's right, I am. 499 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,163 I don't think I should have it anymore. Here. 500 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,931 No, you hold on to that. 501 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,065 No, I'm tired of this game. 502 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,302 I think what I really want to do is go lie down now. 503 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,135 No! 504 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,115 Hello. 505 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,617 (explosion) 506 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,851 What was that? 507 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,486 What was what? 508 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,294 What happened here?! 509 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,695 We can't be sure. 510 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,030 Grandpa gave me a live grenade 511 00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,198 and it was going to blow 512 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:26,399 and I didn't mean to drop it. 513 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:28,301 But Malcolm threw it in the fridge. 514 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,304 You gave my son a live grenade? 515 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,973 You brought live ammunition into this house? 516 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,344 What is the matter with you people?! 517 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:40,313 Are you completely insane?! 518 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,749 You don't ever talk to us like that, do you hear me? 519 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,852 Vuschka robotisch ber doya kraup. 520 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:48,388 Mom, I-I... 521 00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:51,991 I just... I-I just mean that... 522 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,159 All right, all right. 523 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,994 Lois, take the boys in the other room. 524 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,364 But, Hal... Now. 525 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:58,865 Come on. 526 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,738 Why don't we sit down? 527 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,546 First off, I'm not here to try to sort out 528 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,716 the complicated relationship you have with the woman I love. 529 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,285 That's not my place. 530 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:21,220 And I know it would be folly to try to put a price 531 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,456 on the deep psychological trauma 532 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,592 that you've caused Lois through the years. 533 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:29,061 But let me take a stab at it anyway. 534 00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,431 $3,000 sound okay to you? What? 535 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,533 Well, that would pretty much cover the fridge, 536 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,703 the collateral damage, pay off a few credit cards, 537 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,105 and finally get the transmission fixed on my car. 538 00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:40,973 Because of what just happened, 539 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:43,776 you want us to loan you $3,000? 540 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:47,747 Please, I know you're uncomfortable lending to family, 541 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,683 so let's be clear. 542 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,888 With one phone call, I could have your asses thrown in jail 543 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,424 for child endangerment. 544 00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:03,396 So... this money I'm asking for, it's not a loan. 545 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:06,232 It's blackmail. 546 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:14,441 It's like your brother Vasclev all over again. 547 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,610 Come on, Francis. We got to hit the road 548 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:19,346 or we're not going to make bed check. 549 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,613 I don't care. 550 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,649 I came all the way to New Orleans, 551 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,250 I got all these beads... 552 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,286 I'm not leaving until I get some action. 553 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,626 Now, if you don't mind, I need the room. 554 00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,595 Okay, I'm good.