1 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:12,713 Hey, is his stick bigger than my stick? 2 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:14,848 I don't know. They're just sticks. 3 00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,050 Yeah, 4 00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:19,019 but why does he get the better stick? 5 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,891 I always get the crappy sticks. 6 00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:26,227 Why is everything of mine so lame? 7 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,029 I never have anything nice. 8 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,099 My life sucks! 9 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,369 Give me that. 10 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,239 (crying) 11 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:41,775 Sometimes things just have a way of working out. 12 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:45,446 * Yes, no, maybe 13 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,915 * I don't know 14 00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:51,085 * Can you repeat the question? 15 00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,287 * You're not the boss of me now * 16 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:55,856 * You're not the boss of me now * 17 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,191 * You're not the boss of me now * 18 00:00:57,225 --> 00:01:00,261 * And you're not so big 19 00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:02,763 * You're not the boss of me now * 20 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,765 * You're not the boss of me now * 21 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:06,134 * You're not the boss of me now * 22 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:10,070 * And you're not so big 23 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:14,275 * Life is unfair. 24 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,452 REESE: I don't see why we need a babysitter. 25 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:27,221 Yeah. Dad's convention is only for two days. 26 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,257 How can you not trust us? 27 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,825 Well, it's still not fair. 28 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,396 I trust you to be on your own. 29 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,965 Babysitter's not going to be here for two hours. 30 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,135 Don't do anything. 31 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:45,473 (door closes) HAL: Honey, let's roll. 32 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:49,710 The meet-and-greet's at 6:30, and I don't want to be late. 33 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,450 Bye-bye. 34 00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:58,986 See what happens? 35 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,121 We told her we didn't want a babysitter, 36 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,323 and she didn't listen. 37 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,658 Now someone innocent has to suffer. 38 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,638 What's that? 39 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,507 It's the cesspool. 40 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:22,276 We have a pool? It's the sewage from the house. 41 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,144 It flows into this pit and is decomposed 42 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,779 by anaerobic bacteria. 43 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,815 Hurry up. It stinks. 44 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,022 Nice. 45 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,358 Come on, she's going to be here any second. 46 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,660 Sorry. I had to put the "lemonade" 47 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,196 in the refrigerator. 48 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:03,183 Maybe we scared her off. 49 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,922 * 50 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,245 Hi, guys. I'm Patty. 51 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,648 I'm your babysitter. 52 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,886 Uh... will you excuse us for a second? 53 00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:58,806 Gee, I sure hope Barbara and Tom can make it this year. 54 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,974 They are such a fun couple. 55 00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,444 Well, I'm sure Jack Keneally will be there. 56 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,713 Oh, honey, why don't you just say something to him 57 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,315 instead of stewing about it? 58 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,417 I mean, talking to me is not going to solve anything, 59 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,151 and it's obviously just eating away at you. 60 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,120 I'm over that. 61 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:14,722 No, you are not. 62 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,391 It's all you ever talk about whenever we go to this thing-- 63 00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:18,892 how Keneally stole your idea 64 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:22,496 to improve efficiency by four percent on the R8-698. 65 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,732 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 66 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,666 Honey, you're obsessed. 67 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:28,268 I am not obsessed. 68 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:32,973 I just hate that smug look that he always gives me. 69 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,844 And those beady little eyes. (chuckles) 70 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,313 I ever tell you the story about 71 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:40,814 how he finagled his parking spot? 72 00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,816 Yeah, about a thousand times, but it doesn't matter 73 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,485 because I'm sure you're going to tell me again. 74 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,687 Okay, first, he was assigned a space in "C" lot, all right? 75 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,288 But that wasn't good enough for him. 76 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,457 Not for Keneally! No... 77 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:53,327 So, what do you guys want for a snack? 78 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,463 Excuse me? 79 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:56,797 Well, I can make you popcorn 80 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,366 or bake us some chocolate chip cookies. 81 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:01,134 But Mom says the oven doesn't work. 82 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:04,104 You guys are just so cute! 83 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,340 (phone ringing) 84 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,809 Hello. 85 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,110 Malcolm, how's it going? 86 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,379 Listen, I need you to do me a favor. 87 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:12,513 There's 200 or 300 fake I.D.s 88 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,314 hidden behind the washing machine. 89 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:15,549 Now, with Mom gone, 90 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,351 it's safe to transfer them to the garage. 91 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,620 Francis, I really can't do that right now. 92 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,355 What? What are you talking about? 93 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,624 Francis? Is that Francis? 94 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,893 Tell him it's Patty Henderson from eighth grade algebra. 95 00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,028 Patty Henderson says hi. 96 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,296 Oh, my God! 97 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,231 Patty Henderson is your babysitter? 98 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,332 Here, let me talk to him. 99 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,634 Don't let her... 100 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,301 Hi. 101 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,803 Hi, Patty. 102 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,505 Can't believe I'm talking to you. 103 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,740 You probably don't even remember me. 104 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:43,877 Hi, Francis. 105 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,846 Hi, Patty. 106 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,181 (school bell ringing) 107 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,983 Yeah, of course I remember you. 108 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,419 How's it...? What's that, Joe? 109 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:52,686 You got to use the phone? 110 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,255 I'm sorry, Patty. I got to go. Bye. 111 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,323 (sighs) 112 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,891 Francis is so great. 113 00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:02,029 He was the only boy who was ever nice to me. 114 00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:06,600 Come on, guys, she's not that fat. 115 00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:09,336 (sighs) What a sweetheart. 116 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,505 And so cute. 117 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,374 Yeah. I'm a lot like him. 118 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,410 Tell you what. Before dinner, why don't we all 119 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:17,945 straighten up the house together? 120 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:18,912 Good idea! Sure! 121 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:20,914 Great! 122 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,885 (woman speaking indistinctly over P.A.) 123 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,603 Look. I think they're giving away free beach towels 124 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,438 at the QVHLPPS booth. BARBARA: Yoo-hoo! 125 00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:47,007 Hey, there's Barbara and Tom. 126 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:50,944 And there's Keneally. 127 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,412 Oh, for God's sake, Hal. 128 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,114 You've got to get over this. 129 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,484 Just go over there and talk to him. 130 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,752 Just clear the air. 131 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,792 Okay, okay. Going. 132 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,435 (both grunting) 133 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,949 What do you do when you've got an incredible woman 134 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,183 in your bedroom? 135 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:35,155 En... chan... te. 136 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,525 It's the best I could come up with 137 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,459 given the parameters. 138 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:40,928 Well, it's great meeting you guys. 139 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,630 Would you like anything? 140 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,699 They're fine. 141 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,636 Okay. Well, have fun. 142 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:52,973 She's a trophy babysitter. 143 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:56,644 Tuck me... in. 144 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,613 I wonder if she knows how to keep kosher. 145 00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,348 REESE: What is wrong with you? 146 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,450 How can you do this? 147 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,018 What are you talking about? 148 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,387 You invited them over here to gawk at Patty 149 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,289 like she's some piece of meat? 150 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,525 Mom and Dad paid good money for her. 151 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,527 She's ours! We're leaving. 152 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:17,164 He's not going to do anything with her in the house. 153 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:20,834 Wow! She's like kryptonite. 154 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,470 So... this is Reesie's blankie? 155 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,838 It's darling. 156 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:28,141 I guess suddenly there's no such thing as tomorrow. 157 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,043 All I have are singles. Just... 158 00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,845 (sniffles) 159 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:34,147 I always felt so sorry for Patty. 160 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,885 And she had this wild crush on me. 161 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:41,054 She used to follow me around, waddling, 162 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:43,056 her big arms jiggling. 163 00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,391 I mean, she was nice-- 164 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,093 I didn't want to hurt her feelings-- 165 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,895 but what are you supposed to do 166 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:51,531 when somebody really gross thinks you're cute? 167 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,567 You really got a couple of good shots in. 168 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,402 Look, I'm just embarrassed about the whole thing. 169 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:58,238 Hey, he stole your idea. 170 00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,840 How often do you come up with an idea 171 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,942 to increase efficiency by four percent? 172 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,077 At least you made him scream like a girl. 173 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:05,846 No, that was me. 174 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,414 I don't know what got into Hal. 175 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,416 I've never seen him act that way before. 176 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,418 At least, not without any provocation. 177 00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,086 Or with witnesses. 178 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,255 Men are animals. 179 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:18,291 Or so I am told. 180 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,193 Are you drunk already? 181 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,629 I'm not wasting any time. 182 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:25,899 I got to get back to the kids in 24 hours. 183 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,935 Lord, what an idiot I am. 184 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,770 I mean, these are people I work with. 185 00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,572 They're going to think I'm a lunatic. 186 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,143 (sighs) I should apologize to Keneally. 187 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,878 BARBARA: Did you know that 188 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,279 you can audition male strippers 189 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,948 and you don't even have to hire them? 190 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,449 They're not that bright. 191 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:46,219 Oh, I was just going to get T-shirts for the boys, but... 192 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,256 (both grunting) 193 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,461 LOIS: That is enough! 194 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:55,963 Let go of his hair! 195 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,265 Hal, stop biting! 196 00:09:58,298 --> 00:09:59,599 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 197 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,269 Oh, for God's sake, Tom, do something. 198 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,503 I'll refill your drink. 199 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,338 Okay. 200 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,116 What? 201 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,253 What are you doing? 202 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,122 What are you doing? 203 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,695 Here you go. 204 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,268 Hungry? 205 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,337 I don't know what I am. 206 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,471 Dewey! 207 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,140 Come on, guys, eat. 208 00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,012 These potatoes are heavenly. 209 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,847 Thank you. 210 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,683 So, yesterday, in my gifted class-- 211 00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:51,484 I'm not bragging that I'm gifted, 212 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,153 that's just what they call the class-- 213 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,789 we studied bovine spongiform encephalitis. 214 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,024 It's mad cow disease. 215 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,893 It started because they were grinding up dead cows 216 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,729 to feed them to the other cows. 217 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,631 Basically, the prions turn their brains into soup 218 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,199 right in their skulls. 219 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,335 It's very similar to a disease 220 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,203 that afflicted a tribe of cannibals 221 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,304 because they feasted 222 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,774 on their victims' brains. 223 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,313 Hey, Patty, (clears throat) 224 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,514 I have a trick for you. 225 00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:22,682 What's your address? 226 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,584 Um, 531 North Canton. 227 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:25,585 What's your favorite color? 228 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,320 I don't know. Blue, I guess. 229 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,189 Mine, too. 230 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,093 (gulping air) 231 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:36,496 (deep, burping voice): Hello, Patty Henderson of 531 North Canton 232 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,598 whose favorite color is blue just like... 233 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,433 (coughing) 234 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,673 I can dance. Want me to show you? 235 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,942 Okay. 236 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,582 * Boop bee, boop bee, boop bee, boop bee * 237 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,385 * Boop bee, boop bee, boop bee, boo * 238 00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,519 * Boop bee, boop bee 239 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,921 * Boop bee, boop bee * 240 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,757 * Boop bee, boop bee, boop bee, boo * 241 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,258 * Boop bee, boop bee 242 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:06,626 * Boop bee, bee... * 243 00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:07,727 This is just embarrassing. 244 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:09,029 * Boop bee, boo 245 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,799 * Boop bee, boop bee, boop bee... * 246 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,633 Oh, my God, you little angel. 247 00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,102 That is the cutest thing. 248 00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:16,770 * Boop bee, boo 249 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,605 * Boop bee, boop bee, boop bee * 250 00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,173 * Boo bee... 251 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:24,377 Why are we doing the dishes anyways? 252 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,980 I don't know. Just shut up. 253 00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:30,750 (Patty and Dewey laughing in distance) 254 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,025 All right! 255 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,661 Oh! 256 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,463 I'll get it. 257 00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,598 Keeps going under the bed. 258 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,834 Oh, there it is. 259 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,269 Here, let me just wiggle it a little more. 260 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,570 Oh, my God, I just 261 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,405 pushed it in even farther. 262 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,306 Oh, got it. 263 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:56,176 Oh, wait, what's this? 264 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,491 Okay. Now you're all squeaky clean. 265 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,294 Now go put on your pajamas. 266 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,795 (laughs) 267 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,834 Hi, guys. 268 00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:22,769 All right, drop the cute stuff. 269 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,671 What cute stuff? 270 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,639 You! Standing there with your big eyes 271 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,108 and your dopey voice. 272 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,443 I have to resist hugging you myself. 273 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,811 I'm not doing anything. 274 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,813 Yeah? Then what's that? 275 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:35,883 Nothing. 276 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,620 You were going to make her a card? 277 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,621 No. 278 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,191 You like glitter, Dewey? 279 00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:49,162 Dewey? 280 00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,131 This is the way he is. 281 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,466 He's a walking disaster area. 282 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,734 (sighs) 283 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,836 Guess who needs another bath? 284 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,173 Come on, you. 285 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,515 Now, not so much ice this time. 286 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,350 I'm not cold. 287 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:15,155 Hey, why don't you pay for dinner, since we got parking. 288 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,724 You're taking advantage of me because I'm drunk? 289 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,159 Yeah. 290 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,228 I wish he would. 291 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,063 Okay. 292 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,265 I hope you're proud of yourself. 293 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:26,399 I can't help it. 294 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,935 I don't know what it is. 295 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,270 It's like the guy gives off some kind of scent. 296 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,005 The hair on the back of my neck stands up, 297 00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:33,373 and I want to tear him apart. 298 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,175 I would never have the courage to do what Hal did. 299 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,344 Oh, sure, occasionally I'll yell at someone. 300 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,512 It's always with the car window rolled up. 301 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,015 Can I just say thank you? 302 00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,251 Tom, don't encourage him. 303 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:46,253 I'm just saying, I'd do what Hal did if I could. 304 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:48,555 But you can't because you're a coward. 305 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,590 That's my point. 306 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,860 And I've got Mr. Sorenson for math. 307 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,395 Do you think that guy ever changes his pants? 308 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:56,529 'Cause I don't think so. 309 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,530 Really? 310 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,966 Listen to me rambling on and on. 311 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,867 I have completely lost track of time. 312 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,303 Uh, this call? About 97 minutes. 313 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,438 It's been so great talking to you. 314 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,140 Yeah, yeah, you, too. 315 00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,376 You were always so nice to me. 316 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,544 Ah, well, you deserve it, you know. 317 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,646 You're a nice person. 318 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,948 I'm wearing one of your shirts. 319 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:17,417 I was going to sleep in it tonight. 320 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,586 I hope you don't mind. 321 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,754 No, no. 322 00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:24,124 Anyway, um... 323 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,459 I-I don't know quite how to say this, 324 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,561 so I'm just going to say it. 325 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,630 I think you're really special. 326 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,132 And, um, well... 327 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:35,135 I heard you were going to be home in a couple of weeks, 328 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,237 and, well, my parents are going to be out of town, 329 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,839 and I thought maybe you could come over 330 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:43,343 and we could... you know. 331 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,412 Listen, Patty, I have to say this, 332 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,515 and I am sorry, but I don't want to lead you on. 333 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:53,020 I am so not physically attracted to you. 334 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,023 Like, at all. 335 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,758 I think of you as a friend. 336 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,260 Uh-huh. 337 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,629 Oh, Patty, see, now I hurt your feelings. 338 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,532 I know this may be really hard for you to believe, 339 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:07,034 but there is someone out there 340 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,269 who will find you physically attractive. 341 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,538 And you'll find him, and when you do... 342 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,273 Look, I get it, Francis. 343 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,808 Okay, someone's out there for me, and it's not you! 344 00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,710 That's the spirit. 345 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,880 (sighs) 346 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,016 You had to do it, man. 347 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:26,686 It's tough when you're their one shot at happiness. 348 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,489 This is going to send her straight to the fridge. 349 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,959 Hey, Patty, want to play video hockey? 350 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,695 Um, not right now. (sniffles) 351 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,367 Hey, where are you going? 352 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,869 To find out what's wrong and make her feel better. 353 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:45,072 No. I'll go find out what's wrong and make her feel better. 354 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,706 You'll just make her more upset. 355 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,075 I happen to be sensitive. 356 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,143 You're stupid and a creep. 357 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,412 I'll kick your ass! 358 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,348 Say I can make her feel better! 359 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,583 No! 360 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:57,817 DEWEY: * Boop bee 361 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,386 * Boop bee, boop bee, boo * 362 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,088 * Boop bee, boop bee, boop bee, boo * 363 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,490 * Boop bee, boop bee, boop bee, boo... * 364 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,757 You are so sweet. 365 00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,358 * Boop bee, boop bee 366 00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:09,329 * Boop bee, boop bee, boop bee, boo... * 367 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,763 He's cute. 368 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:15,202 I hate him for being cute. 369 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,839 I don't feel so good. 370 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,340 Maybe it was the oysters. 371 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,910 Uh-huh. Hal, do you have the... 372 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,878 Where's Hal? 373 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,382 (grunting, shouting) 374 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,553 I used to have a Rottweiler like this. 375 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,288 Excuse me. 376 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:57,577 I can't believe she's sleeping in the bed right down the hall. 377 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,579 I can't sleep. 378 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,952 He's not that cute. 379 00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,787 (screaming) 380 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,625 What's the matter? 381 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:13,760 I'm scared. 382 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,962 I had a nightmare. (sniffling) 383 00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,264 Oh, you poor baby. 384 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,532 Want to sleep with me? 385 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,636 Okay, come on. 386 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,605 All righty. 387 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:29,442 (whimpering softly) 388 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,582 I don't believe it. 389 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,084 I'm supposed to be the genius, and I'm being outsmarted 390 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,420 by a kid who can't even tie his own shoes. 391 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,121 We can't let him get away with this. 392 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:45,358 We're taking him down. 393 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,429 Would you stop this, please?! 394 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,665 You are humiliating me in front of my friends! 395 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:53,866 (Barbara retching) 396 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,469 I'm okay. 397 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:57,437 (retching) 398 00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,838 You are both middle-aged men. 399 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:02,342 You are too old and too weak to accomplish anything here! 400 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,611 It's too late! Something snapped! 401 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,979 I'm way past the point of no return. 402 00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:09,482 We're talking primal animal urges! 403 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:13,486 I'm going to let nature take its course and kill him! 404 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,492 In 30 seconds, 405 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:23,129 I am going to instruct these men to let you go. 406 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,163 Thank you, Lois. Thank you. 407 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:27,700 And then you will have a choice. 408 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:31,871 You can indulge your primal urges with him, or... 409 00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,142 ...you can come back to the motel 410 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,545 and indulge your primal urges with me. 411 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,190 Don't trivialize my anger, Lois! 412 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,361 I mean, there are some things 413 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:57,297 that you just don't try to talk people out of. 414 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,005 I have a legitimate situation here. 415 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,707 I know, baby. 416 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:28,461 (shouting) 417 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,716 (sighs) 418 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:50,883 It's working. 419 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,084 Okay, I'll hold him, 420 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,486 you put the tape over his mouth. 421 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,822 Then we'll take him to the garage. 422 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,925 Where did he go? 423 00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:02,128 There he is. 424 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:03,996 Come to papa. 425 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,272 He locked us out! 426 00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,241 Dewey, come to bed. 427 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,644 Okay. 428 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,248 Great. 429 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,951 What are we supposed to do now? 430 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,422 (screams) 431 00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:30,623 (liquid sloshing) 432 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:33,993 Oh, my God, what is this stuff?! 433 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:36,729 Well, at least the night wasn't a total loss. 434 00:21:37,564 --> 00:21:39,399 Oh, geez. Oh, what is that?