1 00:00:15,260 --> 00:00:16,090 Are we rolling? 2 00:00:16,090 --> 00:00:17,900 No, we're almost ready. 3 00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:19,250 Roll the cameras already. 4 00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:21,740 This is live television. 5 00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:22,920 Rolling. 6 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,970 This is Tromaville student television reporting live on location. 7 00:00:25,970 --> 00:00:29,110 A giant squirrel is attacking the nuclear powerplant 8 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:30,990 at the Tromaville Institute of Technology. 9 00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:32,630 The military and the national guard 10 00:00:32,630 --> 00:00:34,870 have been completely useless against the rampaging 11 00:00:34,870 --> 00:00:35,840 rodent's destructive force. 12 00:00:38,770 --> 00:00:41,640 Nuclear disaster has struck again on the site 13 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,770 where Tromaville High School was blown off the face of the Earth 14 00:00:43,770 --> 00:00:45,790 just a few short years ago. 15 00:00:45,790 --> 00:00:48,260 It is the most horrible thing I've ever witnessed. 16 00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:51,830 The school, the campus, the nuclear power plant! 17 00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:53,750 It's all gone! 18 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:56,480 All that we hold dear... the video game room 19 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:57,940 has been destroyed! 20 00:00:57,940 --> 00:00:59,880 Oh, the horror! 21 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,830 Oh, the humanity! 22 00:01:01,830 --> 00:01:04,740 I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna have to stop. 23 00:01:04,740 --> 00:01:07,660 It's just too much. 24 00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:10,370 I can't go on. 25 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,310 Oh god, I'm melting. 26 00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:13,760 I'm melting! 27 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,190 Get me up there. 28 00:01:16,190 --> 00:01:17,160 He's a subhumanoid. 29 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,610 He's melting down. 30 00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:21,040 I'm melting down. 31 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,290 Help! 32 00:01:23,390 --> 00:01:25,240 I'm melting! 33 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:26,610 Oh, what a world! 34 00:01:26,610 --> 00:01:27,410 Forget him. 35 00:01:27,410 --> 00:01:29,240 We've got to report the news. 36 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,700 OK, ready? 37 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:33,130 Still rolling. 38 00:01:33,130 --> 00:01:35,270 Get that dog out of here. 39 00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:38,550 This is Angel Finkelstein reporting to you live 40 00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:41,716 from the Tromaville Institute of Technology, 41 00:01:41,728 --> 00:01:44,130 where a giant mutated squirrel is 42 00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:47,300 about to destroy the Tromaville nuclear power plant. 43 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,820 Oh my, I've melted down. 44 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:52,470 You may recall the same nuclear power plant 45 00:01:52,470 --> 00:01:56,060 was destroyed once before in the 1984 Troma movie 46 00:01:56,060 --> 00:01:57,510 "Class of Nuke 'Em High." 47 00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:59,490 That was one of my favorite Troma movies. 48 00:01:59,490 --> 00:02:01,720 Lots of melon heavy breasts. 49 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:04,830 It was then rebuilt by the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation 50 00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:08,900 as part of the new Tromaville Institute of Technology campus 51 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:14,880 in the movie "Subhumanoid Meltdown Class of Nuke 'Em High Part 2." 52 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,320 Hey Angel, I like your style. 53 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,980 Have you ever had a night of wild passion 54 00:02:18,980 --> 00:02:21,630 with a gob of green goo? 55 00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:25,890 What do you say after the broadcast me and you get together? 56 00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:27,320 I'll take that as a no. 57 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,660 As you can see, the giant mutated squirrel 58 00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:32,160 is not the only problem plaguing the campus today. 59 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,350 Apparently an evil experiment gone bad 60 00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:38,370 is causing a secret race of subhumanoid students 61 00:02:38,370 --> 00:02:40,470 to melt down into gobs of green... 62 00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:52,140 This is Souzie Schwartz reporting live, filling in 63 00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,350 for Angel Finkelstein... dead. 64 00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:57,810 Reporting to you on the campus of Tromaville Tech. 65 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,420 Oh my god, this is awful. 66 00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:02,590 Read it out loud, you bimbo. 67 00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:03,390 This just in. 68 00:03:03,390 --> 00:03:06,130 A military helicopter has been dispatched from the Tromaville 69 00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:09,150 Air Force Base to meet this mother of all squirrels, 70 00:03:09,150 --> 00:03:11,240 and it's on its way here right now. 71 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,510 The copter is carrying a radioactive rodent 72 00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:16,250 seeking patriot missile, which has been disguised 73 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,510 to look like a giant acorn? 74 00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:25,630 Base to Tromaville one. 75 00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:26,430 Watch yourself. 76 00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:28,390 He looks like my mother-in-law. 77 00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:29,680 Tromaville one to base. 78 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,400 It's much worse than we've ever expected. 79 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,970 He... he's doing the frug. 80 00:03:33,970 --> 00:03:34,970 Oh no! 81 00:03:34,970 --> 00:03:36,470 He's also got good rhythm! 82 00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:39,540 For once, the military's plan seems to be working. 83 00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:42,420 The giant squirrel is following the acorn. 84 00:03:42,420 --> 00:03:43,540 Tromaville one to base. 85 00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:45,270 I've got the decoy in place. 86 00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:47,190 He's just about the grab it. 87 00:03:47,190 --> 00:03:48,540 Attaway, Tromaville one. 88 00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:51,240 You're going to be a national military hero the minute 89 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,540 he grabs that patriot missile. 90 00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:54,100 What patriot missile? 91 00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:25,780 That's me, Adlai Smith. 92 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:28,710 I am a third generation subhumanoid. 93 00:04:28,710 --> 00:04:31,250 I am the only honor student to be created 94 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:34,450 from the mating of a human and a subhumanoid, 95 00:04:34,450 --> 00:04:37,610 And soon I'll be two years old. 96 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,530 You're probably asking yourself how I in only two years 97 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,240 can be full grown. 98 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,000 Well, I'm the offspring of a human father 99 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,960 and a subhumanoid mother, and one thing about subhumanoids 100 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,760 is that we grow from infancy to post adolescence 101 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,260 in little more than 18 months. 102 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:56,970 And we do a lot of push ups. 103 00:04:56,970 --> 00:05:00,110 Like everyone else, my story and my problems 104 00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:04,240 started with my father, one Roger Smith, 105 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,490 who looks exactly like me. 106 00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:09,000 My father was a typical student at the Tromaville Institute of Technology 107 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,770 way back before I was born two years ago. 108 00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:16,540 Dad loved Tromaville Tech, which had been constructed 109 00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:19,390 by the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation inside of the Tromaville 110 00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:21,310 nuclear power plant. 111 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:22,890 My father was one of the greatest 112 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:27,370 student reporters in the history of the Tromaville Tech Times. 113 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:31,610 While doing a routine news story, he stumbled onto a nefarious conspiracy 114 00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:37,670 to create a mindless subservient race of second class citizens called subhumanoids. 115 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:42,610 This biogenetic obscenity was a horrendous plot of the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation. 116 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:47,860 It was also the horrendous plot of "Class Of Nuke 'Em High Part 2." 117 00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:50,380 The subhumanoids were genetically designed and bred 118 00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:52,790 to perform human beings' unpleasant chores 119 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:56,140 and undesirable functions, such as fighting wars in miserable 120 00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:58,280 Third world countries, and cleaning 121 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:02,270 offices, and disposing of unrecyclable non deposit glass bottles. 122 00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:07,110 More important, these subhumanoids worked for peanuts, and therefore 123 00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:11,910 brought the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation gross revenues, which were huge. 124 00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:14,930 The obvious difference between humans and subhumanoid 125 00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:19,490 was the extra set of lips where their belly buttons should be. 126 00:06:19,490 --> 00:06:22,350 One of these subhumanoids was my mother. 127 00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:28,940 Subhumanoids were unable to produce 128 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:32,150 their own offspring by mating with each other, 129 00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:33,240 although they enjoyed trying. 130 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,320 Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes! 131 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:35,750 In order to have a baby, 132 00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:38,450 A subhumanoid had to mate with a human. 133 00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:42,800 So the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation in its greed to create more and more subhumanoid babies 134 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,250 manipulated the good students of Tromaville Tech 135 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:49,510 into fornicating with the subhumanoids, and that's 136 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,150 how my mom and dad met. 137 00:06:51,150 --> 00:06:54,190 My mother and father, in spite of being victims 138 00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:57,730 of an evil, cynical, and obscene money grubbing experiment 139 00:06:57,730 --> 00:06:59,850 fell head over heels in love. 140 00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:04,930 While dad was getting used to mom's subhumanoid lips, 141 00:07:04,930 --> 00:07:07,920 problems were developing with the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation's 142 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,530 subhumanoid baby program. 143 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,650 Everything seemed like a piece of cake, 144 00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:20,310 but it was really a mess. 145 00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:23,940 It was soon revealed the subhumanoids were unstable, 146 00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:26,300 and after six months, they began melting down 147 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:32,970 into disgusting gobs of green goo, which were gross, but kind 148 00:07:32,970 --> 00:07:35,950 of cute and would make great toys for kids, 149 00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:38,500 And adults like them, too. 150 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,130 The creator of the subhumanoids was the brilliant, 151 00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:43,570 but misguided Professor Melvina Holt. 152 00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:47,770 And she desperately tried to develop an antidote to the meltdown syndrome. 153 00:07:47,770 --> 00:07:50,100 Unfortunately, because of negligence 154 00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:53,870 in disposing of the hideously toxic meltdown byproducts, 155 00:07:53,870 --> 00:07:56,390 one of the good squirrels of Tromaville mutated 156 00:07:56,390 --> 00:07:59,890 into a giant, disgusting, belching, farting, urinating 157 00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:04,000 monster squirrel, which began destroying the Tromaville 158 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,130 Institute of Technology and its state of the art student 159 00:08:07,130 --> 00:08:09,450 run nuclear power facility. 160 00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:12,030 Unfortunately, the mutant monster squirrel 161 00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:13,990 annihilated a lot of Tromavillians, 162 00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:16,590 including many of the principal actors in 163 00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:18,050 "Class Of Nuke 'Em High Part Two." 164 00:08:18,050 --> 00:08:24,050 Fortunately, those annihilated included the sadistic gang leader Yoke. 165 00:08:24,050 --> 00:08:27,260 Unfortunately, Yoke's more handsome, but less 166 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:30,610 intellectually brilliant younger sibling, Li'l Eggwhite, 167 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,350 survived to take over the gang. 168 00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:33,150 Yeah! 169 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:34,780 Fortunately, it turned out 170 00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:37,120 Professor Holt did indeed create an antidote 171 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:39,370 to the subhumanoid meltdown syndrome. 172 00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:42,240 Unfortunately, the miscreant mutant squirrel thought 173 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,870 Professor Holt was his mommy. 174 00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:47,680 No, I'm not your mother! 175 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,210 Fortunately, my father 176 00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:56,110 got the antidote from Professor Holt 177 00:08:56,110 --> 00:09:00,100 and was able to give it to my mother. 178 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:03,270 What my parents didn't know was that they weren't the only ones 179 00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:05,410 to survive the destruction. 180 00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:08,890 Miraculously, Professor Holt crawled through the rubble 181 00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:10,850 back to the subterranean chambers 182 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:13,450 beneath the main nuclear reactor core, where 183 00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:16,170 her beloved subhumanoid birthing laboratories 184 00:09:16,170 --> 00:09:20,110 would hold whatever remained of her top secret experiments. 185 00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:23,690 Unfortunately, her unethical sellout to corporate greed 186 00:09:23,690 --> 00:09:26,030 had subjected her body to low level symptoms 187 00:09:26,030 --> 00:09:27,920 of the meltdown syndrome. 188 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:32,710 Fortunately, at least her beehive hairdo remained intact since 189 00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:35,150 her hairspray contained beeswax from plenty of bees. 190 00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:37,920 Unfortunately, they were PC bees, 191 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,320 and the incredible heat produced by her meltdown 192 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:45,610 syndrome symptoms resulted in spontaneous combustion. 193 00:09:52,610 --> 00:09:54,720 At least I still have my hair. 194 00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:56,670 My hair! 195 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,550 Where did it go? 196 00:10:01,550 --> 00:10:03,500 Where is it? 197 00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:06,920 My hair. 198 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,870 Oh, my precious hair. 199 00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:09,870 Where is it? 200 00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:13,270 Well, well, well, if it isn't the lovely Professor Holt. 201 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:14,240 I see you got a hair cut. 202 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,660 It was so beautiful. 203 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:21,000 Hey professor, you're real ugly now. 204 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:25,590 Why, I oughta! 205 00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:33,710 Take that, you fat. 206 00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:37,220 While Professor Holt and Li'l Eggwhite got reacquainted, 207 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,470 so did my mom and dad. 208 00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:45,260 After Tromaville was leveled and the raging fires were put out, 209 00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:47,920 my mother and father did what came naturally. 210 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,040 They fucked their brains out, and I was conceived. 211 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,800 Meanwhile, the Nuke-A-Mama corporate powers did what came naturally. 212 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,050 They conceived a new plant. 213 00:10:57,050 --> 00:10:59,970 The sadistic genius, Dr. Slag PhD, 214 00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:02,485 was sent to rebuild the Tromaville Institute 215 00:11:02,497 --> 00:11:04,630 of Technology and nuclear power plant 216 00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:05,920 as a cover for the heinous mission. 217 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,750 So while my father's good and true seed 218 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,250 was nurtured in my mother's subhumanoid belly, 219 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:16,070 the evil seed of Dr. Slag Phd's plan was planted deep beneath Tromaville. 220 00:11:16,070 --> 00:11:18,830 Dr. Slag PhD! 221 00:11:18,830 --> 00:11:20,890 What are you doing here? 222 00:11:20,890 --> 00:11:28,570 Professor Holt. The Nuke-A-Mama Corporation 223 00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:33,940 sent me down here to clean up the mess that you made of our plans. 224 00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:38,790 Now I must brief all of you about our new mission. 225 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:40,020 New mission? 226 00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:41,100 That's right. 227 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:44,670 New mission on behalf of the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation. 228 00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:48,540 We must use Professor Holt's subhumanoids 229 00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:53,080 to achieve the ultimate and unspeakable wealth and power. 230 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,970 Our new research shows that the mating of humans 231 00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:57,680 and subhumanoids produces offspring which are much more 232 00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,240 than just mindless laborers. 233 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,100 The chemistry of these babies is also a source of cheap energy. 234 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:06,250 Holt's subhumanoids hold the key. 235 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:10,110 But Dr. Slag PhD, all of the subhumanoids 236 00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:12,810 melted down in "Class of Nuke 'Em High Part Two," 237 00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:16,000 and in the beginning of this movie. 238 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,910 All but one, Dr. Slag PhD. 239 00:12:18,910 --> 00:12:21,420 They all melted down but one. 240 00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,640 Victoria lives. 241 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,230 I gave her boyfriend, Roger Smith, 242 00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:29,600 the antidote to the meltdown syndrome, so I'm sure that she lives. 243 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:34,050 It is she who holds your precious key, Dr. Slag PhD. 244 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:40,900 It's good you still have a sense of humor, Holt, 245 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:43,950 because you're going to need it when we hunt this girl down, 246 00:12:43,950 --> 00:12:46,830 and watch her, and wait for her to become heavy with child, 247 00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:49,440 for when that baby comes out of that second set 248 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:52,140 of subhumanoid lips in his mother's belly, 249 00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:55,300 that baby will be the ultimate power source, which will 250 00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:58,340 further enrich the few of us who hold shares 251 00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:00,330 in the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation. 252 00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:03,300 This power source is unlike any other. 253 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:07,900 More powerful than nuclear fission, coal, or oil. 254 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:11,666 You see, squirrels, the Nuke-A-Mama 255 00:13:11,678 --> 00:13:16,400 Corporation has a plan to rebuild Tromaville 256 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,060 and the rest of the world. 257 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,480 We will watch and observe. 258 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:28,470 When she has that baby, we will be there. 259 00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:30,990 While Dr. Slag PhD's plan grew 260 00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:34,440 to full term, so did I, and while the good people 261 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:38,550 of Tromaville prepared for the rebirth of the campus and reactor, my parents 262 00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,190 prepared for the birth of me. 263 00:13:42,710 --> 00:13:44,860 Then finally the happy day arrived. 264 00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:50,810 Tromaville Hospital had the finest, most sophisticated staff 265 00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:54,570 the finest, most sophisticated 266 00:13:54,570 --> 00:13:59,690 equipment, and the finest, most sophisticated patients. 267 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,130 The facility's all inclusive services covered 268 00:14:05,130 --> 00:14:06,230 the entire medical spectrum. 269 00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,330 So what seems to be the problem? 270 00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:09,060 From treatment of restricting underwear. 271 00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:15,820 I can't stop watching low budget bad ass movies! 272 00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:18,550 To the removal of tattoos from toes. 273 00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:23,980 Following the example of the Tromaville Diner, 274 00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:26,590 the Tromaville hospital offered an early birth special. 275 00:14:26,590 --> 00:14:28,540 So as the birth contractions came, 276 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,480 mom and pop drove to the hospital extra 277 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,830 fast, because they only paid half price if they 278 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,470 got there before 6 o'clock. 279 00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:40,050 Oh, I found 10 bucks. 280 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,600 Fetal monitor. 281 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,730 Normal. 282 00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:46,530 Pulse rate. 283 00:14:46,530 --> 00:14:47,720 Normal. 284 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:48,840 How much is she dilated? 285 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,340 She's dilated three feet! 286 00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,060 This was the first time ever 287 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:57,590 That natural childbirth techniques were used to deliver a subhumanoid. 288 00:14:57,590 --> 00:15:00,000 As with all subhumanoid births, this one 289 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,660 would occur through the extra set of lips in the belly, 290 00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:04,950 which are unique to the subhumanoids. 291 00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:08,520 The Nuke-A-Mama corporate gang soon arrived on the scene. 292 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,340 One positive side effect of Professor Holt's experiments 293 00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:13,440 was the rapid regrowth of her astounding 294 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,050 hair due to her exposure to toxic growth hormones. 295 00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:17,460 In, out. 296 00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:19,810 Out, in. 297 00:15:19,810 --> 00:15:20,890 Out, in. 298 00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:21,690 Out. 299 00:15:21,690 --> 00:15:23,390 She's not listening. 300 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,130 Now, Victoria, take it easy. 301 00:15:25,130 --> 00:15:25,930 You're doing fine. 302 00:15:35,910 --> 00:15:37,230 In, out. 303 00:15:37,230 --> 00:15:38,210 Just like we practiced. 304 00:15:57,830 --> 00:16:00,130 Is this were Victoria, the last subhumanoid, 305 00:16:00,130 --> 00:16:03,300 is giving birth to her human husband's child? 306 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:07,610 No, this is the podiatric ward. 307 00:16:07,610 --> 00:16:10,250 I believe you're looking for the pediatric ward. 308 00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:17,210 The birthing was a textbook case. 309 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,690 Someone help me. 310 00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:24,380 Roger. 311 00:16:29,610 --> 00:16:32,590 I'm not an animal! 312 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,540 The incredible beauty of subhumanoid birth overwhelmed dad, 313 00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:39,340 he did his best not to throw up. 314 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,770 While he was in the waiting room composing himself, 315 00:16:46,770 --> 00:16:50,620 the Nuke-A-Mama corporate gang was closing in. 316 00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:53,620 The gang entered the delivery room and waylaid the nurses. 317 00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:58,910 Roger, is that you? 318 00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:00,840 Roger, I'm in transition! 319 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,080 Help! 320 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,160 And came back in high tech sophisticated disguises. 321 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:06,150 Oh, no! 322 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,150 Not the novelty nose! 323 00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:09,630 Roger, help me! 324 00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:10,630 Oh, no! 325 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,620 Not the novelty beard! 326 00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:13,610 Oh, no! 327 00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:16,090 Not the novelty squirting flower and eye patch! 328 00:17:16,090 --> 00:17:17,590 Oh, no. 329 00:17:17,590 --> 00:17:18,580 I'm pushing. 330 00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:19,770 It's coming. 331 00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:29,420 Oh my god. 332 00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:31,410 Look at the size of that umbilical cord. 333 00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:32,210 Cut it! 334 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:33,150 Stop, you idiot! 335 00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:35,140 That's no umbilical cord. 336 00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:37,710 The baby is a boy. 337 00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:40,220 Everything is going exactly as I planned. 338 00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,920 Now we have the power source. 339 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:48,430 My father did not know that the evil Dr. Slag PhD was stealing his precious baby. 340 00:17:48,430 --> 00:17:50,920 The hospital went about its normal business. 341 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:54,200 Nobody knew that a baby was being stolen. 342 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,090 Doctor, can I try a little bit. 343 00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:57,690 No, no. That's later. 344 00:17:57,690 --> 00:17:58,600 That's later. 345 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,490 My father went back into the delivery room, 346 00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:02,760 and as is typically the case, 347 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:06,550 the highly paid obstetricians were nowhere to be found. 348 00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:10,460 Suddenly, my father had a warm glowing powerful feeling 349 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:13,850 that this was going to be a special birth. 350 00:18:13,850 --> 00:18:15,130 It was a proud moment. 351 00:18:15,130 --> 00:18:16,590 I can't stand you. I never could stand you. 352 00:18:16,590 --> 00:18:16,950 Everything about you is terrible. 353 00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:20,100 Since mom was giving birth, dad did what came naturally. 354 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:23,700 He stuck in his hand and pulled out a beautiful, well mannered, 355 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:26,910 charming, good natured, healthy, positively motivated, 356 00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:32,520 versatile baby boy, who was also a good dancer... me! 357 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:36,440 Why you yellow bellied sap sucker. 358 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,570 I can't believe you did this to me! 359 00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:41,450 Breathe. 360 00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:43,030 Pop was so proud. 361 00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:46,320 He did not suspect for a minute that twins had been born 362 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,760 or that one had been stolen. 363 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,260 Her pulse rate is dropping. 364 00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:51,570 Then tragedy struck. 365 00:18:51,570 --> 00:18:54,160 Cardiac arrest. 366 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:56,800 Clear! 367 00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,330 Clear! 368 00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:04,250 Mom expired on the bed, her body already growing cold. 369 00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:07,100 Dad was devastated at losing his beloved Victoria, 370 00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:11,000 And never knew that she had given him not one, but two sons. 371 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,060 Nobody knew that there were subhumanoid twins. 372 00:19:25,590 --> 00:19:28,820 And so the bad guys transported their baby 373 00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:31,370 to their hideout in the nuclear power plant 374 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,150 to be reared in evil ways, oblivious to the fact 375 00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:36,950 that there was another twin. 376 00:19:42,830 --> 00:19:43,940 Come on. Get up. 377 00:19:43,940 --> 00:19:44,740 Come on, boy. 378 00:19:44,740 --> 00:19:47,170 Coochie coochie coo. 379 00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,320 And the good guy transported his baby 380 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:57,940 to Tromaville to be reared by the forces of goodness and kindness. 381 00:19:57,940 --> 00:20:00,040 My dad was also oblivious to the fact 382 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,810 that there was another twin. 383 00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:08,160 Dad named me Adlai, and Dr. Slag PhD and Professor Holt 384 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,420 named their baby Dick. 385 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,890 While I was being taught the Tromavillian ways of world. 386 00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:17,520 Peace through celluloid and dancing in the streets, 387 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,160 Dick was being taught the evil ways 388 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,800 of corporate elitism gone mad, but all this intercutting 389 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,100 is taking too long. 390 00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:27,070 Let's go to the split screen to save time. 391 00:20:27,070 --> 00:20:28,750 It was a wonderful thing, raising a child. 392 00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:30,180 Little Adlai brought such joy to our home. 393 00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:32,420 Little Dick brought such joy to our hide out. 394 00:20:32,420 --> 00:20:34,990 But it seemed like he was growing up so quickly. 395 00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:37,640 I soon realized that he really was growing up so quickly. 396 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,130 Dick was taught the ways of violence and machine guns. 397 00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:44,760 Adlai was taught the ways of small Japanese electronics products. 398 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,690 Dick grew up quickly and could 399 00:20:46,690 --> 00:20:50,960 soon beat any rodent member of the Nuke-A-Mama corporate gain. 400 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,190 Adlai grew quickly 401 00:20:52,190 --> 00:20:55,660 and was soon head of the insect appreciation club. 402 00:20:55,660 --> 00:21:01,000 A side effect to the human and subhumanoid gene combination seemed to 403 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,730 accelerate normal growth by about 10 times. 404 00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,860 At first, we were concerned about this rapid growth... 405 00:21:05,860 --> 00:21:07,120 -pattern. -rate. 406 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,720 But tests seemed to indicate that little 407 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,050 Adlai was slowing down. 408 00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:11,110 Dick was slowing down, and would soon level off... 409 00:21:11,110 --> 00:21:13,180 And would probably level off to a more normal growth rate 410 00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:16,320 upon completion of the adolescent phase. 411 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:20,160 Or approximately 19 months from birth. 412 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,990 But getting back to my story, 413 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,970 I grew up good and true, and at 19 months of age, 414 00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:28,710 I graduated summa cum Troma from high school. 415 00:21:28,710 --> 00:21:30,900 Dad was so proud. 416 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:33,850 Because I grew up so fast, upon graduation dad 417 00:21:33,850 --> 00:21:36,950 let me take my extremely capable and efficient wet nurse. 418 00:21:36,950 --> 00:21:41,250 Her name was Trish, and we were in love. 419 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,840 At the same time, there was an evil graduation 420 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,990 For my twin brother Dick in the bowels 421 00:21:45,990 --> 00:21:48,830 of the nuclear power plant. 422 00:21:48,830 --> 00:21:51,420 Trish gave up wet nursing and joined me 423 00:21:51,420 --> 00:21:54,430 as a freshman at the Tromaville Institute of Technology, 424 00:21:54,430 --> 00:21:57,230 which had been rebuilt inside the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation's 425 00:21:57,230 --> 00:21:59,780 brand new nuclear power plant. 426 00:21:59,780 --> 00:22:02,990 This new nuclear facility was as dangerous as any other, 427 00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:05,190 but was much less obtrusive because it didn't have 428 00:22:05,190 --> 00:22:07,310 the normal nuclear plant towers, 429 00:22:07,310 --> 00:22:10,710 which are so expensive to duplicate in special effects shots. 430 00:22:10,710 --> 00:22:13,420 It was camouflaged to look more like a sugar refinery 431 00:22:13,420 --> 00:22:16,990 to blend in with the beautiful and lush Tromaville landscape, 432 00:22:16,990 --> 00:22:18,600 And wasn't so offensive to those bleeding 433 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,400 heart environmentalists. 434 00:22:22,310 --> 00:22:24,360 The nuclear reactor's central control room 435 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,110 was a place not just for science, 436 00:22:26,110 --> 00:22:29,650 but also humanities, liberal arts, and philosophical debates. 437 00:22:29,650 --> 00:22:31,240 The egg came first. 438 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,140 I don't care what you say. 439 00:22:32,140 --> 00:22:33,620 The chicken came first. 440 00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:35,220 The Nuke-A-Mama Corporation 441 00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:38,060 built a new lab for Professor Holt, where she began cloning 442 00:22:38,060 --> 00:22:40,590 experiments based on the essential elements 443 00:22:40,590 --> 00:22:42,350 of earth, air, fire, and water. 444 00:22:42,350 --> 00:22:44,420 A wolf clone for earth and air. 445 00:22:44,420 --> 00:22:47,860 A dragon clone for fire, and a fish head clone for water. 446 00:22:54,030 --> 00:22:56,170 The campus hallways were once again bustling 447 00:22:56,170 --> 00:22:58,300 with people going to classes. 448 00:22:58,300 --> 00:23:00,180 Tromaville Institute of Technology 449 00:23:00,180 --> 00:23:05,640 had fully recovered from the near disaster of two years ago. 450 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,550 Young scholars once again pursued individual studies, 451 00:23:08,550 --> 00:23:12,820 participated in lively academic debates, 452 00:23:12,820 --> 00:23:16,750 developed mature relationships, and interacted with the highly 453 00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:18,920 esteemed faculty. 454 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,530 Independent studies were explored 455 00:23:20,530 --> 00:23:24,500 by all the student body under the guidance of scholarly advisors. 456 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:26,290 You can't have sex in front of Mr. Substitute. 457 00:23:26,290 --> 00:23:30,330 And although they were free to pick their own course of studies 458 00:23:30,330 --> 00:23:33,980 from a curriculum that included oceanographic studies. 459 00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:37,870 Come lick my starfish, baby. 460 00:23:37,870 --> 00:23:39,270 And cinema studies, 461 00:23:39,270 --> 00:23:44,210 featuring "Dances with Wolves," and other great works by Troma alumni. 462 00:23:44,210 --> 00:23:46,880 Students freely accepted the input of their professors, 463 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,750 as long as they stayed in their hermetically sealed suits. 464 00:23:50,750 --> 00:23:52,990 My own studies proceeded rapidly, 465 00:23:52,990 --> 00:23:56,700 as did my romance with dear Trish, accelerated and inspired 466 00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:58,750 by our shared political consciousness 467 00:23:58,750 --> 00:24:01,130 for an earth threatening environmental cause. 468 00:24:01,130 --> 00:24:04,710 Save the boll weevil. 469 00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:06,170 Thanks, honey. 470 00:24:06,170 --> 00:24:09,070 Please, folks, give to save the boll weevil. 471 00:24:09,070 --> 00:24:12,390 The boll weevil has a right to live in our society. 472 00:24:12,390 --> 00:24:14,210 Slam, you gotta donate. 473 00:24:14,210 --> 00:24:16,100 He's got a place in our animal kingdom. 474 00:24:16,100 --> 00:24:17,790 Damn! 475 00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,210 Gosh, Trish, this blatant disregard for the boll weevil 476 00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:21,880 really gets my goat. 477 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,920 I mean, you'd have to be blind not to realize 478 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,770 that if the weevil dies out, cotton will run rampant, 479 00:24:26,770 --> 00:24:30,360 And if cotton runs rampant, well, gee, 480 00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:33,510 there'll be no synthetic polyester leisure suits. 481 00:24:33,510 --> 00:24:37,080 I mean, Western civilization owes a lot to the boll weevil. 482 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,020 Don't worry, Adlai. 483 00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:42,380 If we keep working and striving, the weevil won't be forgotten. 484 00:24:42,380 --> 00:24:43,870 Gosh, I love you, Trish. 485 00:24:46,830 --> 00:24:51,340 Gosh, Adlai, you just broke your rule of public display of affection. 486 00:24:51,340 --> 00:24:55,790 I know it's kooky, Trish, but sometimes I just can't resist you. 487 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,930 Yo, dude, save the boll weevil, please! 488 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,940 Excuse me. 489 00:25:10,940 --> 00:25:13,450 I just haven't been feeling too well since I started 490 00:25:13,450 --> 00:25:15,410 working at the nuclear plant. 491 00:25:15,410 --> 00:25:17,450 Oh, what's wrong, dear? 492 00:25:17,450 --> 00:25:20,660 We had another one of them plutonium fires. 493 00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:22,840 I don't know. 494 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,580 I think I got contaminated. 495 00:25:24,580 --> 00:25:26,550 Trish and I were so excited over raising 496 00:25:26,550 --> 00:25:31,270 $0.75 for the boll weevil that we went back to my dorm room to celebrate. 497 00:25:31,270 --> 00:25:32,070 Oh, Adlai. 498 00:25:32,070 --> 00:25:35,160 All that talk about the boll weevil really turns me on. 499 00:25:41,990 --> 00:25:45,010 Wouldn't you like to watch some TV? 500 00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:45,920 Adlai! 501 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,120 Adlai, don't you find me attractive? 502 00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:50,990 Boy, did I ever. 503 00:25:50,990 --> 00:25:54,230 What I loved about Trish was that she was so innocent, 504 00:25:54,230 --> 00:26:00,540 so clean, so fresh, so young, so shy, so healthy, 505 00:26:00,540 --> 00:26:03,830 so bouncy, so full of life. 506 00:26:03,830 --> 00:26:06,670 Trish knew that she had a big double exam coming up, 507 00:26:06,670 --> 00:26:08,580 and she was full of nervous energy, 508 00:26:08,580 --> 00:26:11,470 knowing that she would be up all night cramming. 509 00:26:11,470 --> 00:26:12,870 Oh, Adlai. 510 00:26:12,870 --> 00:26:14,220 Oh, you're so good. 511 00:26:14,220 --> 00:26:16,290 Oh, boll weevil me, Adlai. 512 00:26:21,670 --> 00:26:24,110 Do the boll weevil on me. 513 00:26:24,110 --> 00:26:26,070 Oh, you're so good. 514 00:26:26,070 --> 00:26:27,540 I love it! 515 00:26:27,540 --> 00:26:29,490 Boll weevil me! 516 00:26:29,490 --> 00:26:30,470 Boll! 517 00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:33,410 Oh, please stop! 518 00:26:33,410 --> 00:26:37,350 I can't take anymore. 519 00:26:37,350 --> 00:26:39,090 Are you sure that's enough? 520 00:26:39,090 --> 00:26:41,750 Yes, I can't take anymore right now. 521 00:26:41,750 --> 00:26:44,350 All right, then I love. 522 00:26:44,350 --> 00:26:48,250 But wait, you didn't get a chance to finish, did you? 523 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:50,300 No, but I don't care. 524 00:26:50,300 --> 00:26:53,590 As long as you're happy, that's all that matters for me. 525 00:26:53,590 --> 00:26:56,600 I actually enjoy having blue balls. 526 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,190 Adlai, I love you. 527 00:26:59,190 --> 00:27:00,820 Although I was one with Trish, 528 00:27:00,820 --> 00:27:03,890 A little did I know that at that very moment somewhere 529 00:27:03,890 --> 00:27:07,640 in outer Tromaville, a part of me, my very own genes, 530 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,010 were implicated in a hideous evil training session. 531 00:27:11,010 --> 00:27:13,290 Dick, now you must continue with your training 532 00:27:13,290 --> 00:27:16,490 by taking on the mad armor clad lad. 533 00:27:16,490 --> 00:27:18,620 Bring on the armor man. 534 00:27:18,620 --> 00:27:19,900 Let the training begin. 535 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,180 Now, use the silly string. 536 00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:55,130 Now, the badminton rackets! 537 00:27:57,820 --> 00:27:58,620 Surfboard! 538 00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:12,600 Who's winning? 539 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,430 Meanwhile, at the heady heights 540 00:28:31,430 --> 00:28:35,520 of my maleness with Trish, it happened again. 541 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,760 What's the matter, honey? 542 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,260 I just can't shake that feeling that I'm not a whole person 543 00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:44,300 that a part of me is floating around in the world somewhere. 544 00:28:47,940 --> 00:28:50,770 and that you defeated the mad armor clad lad. 545 00:28:58,630 --> 00:29:00,510 Excellent, Dick. 546 00:29:00,510 --> 00:29:02,590 Your progress is steady. 547 00:29:02,590 --> 00:29:06,970 Soon you'll be allowed to use your skills in the world at large. 548 00:29:06,970 --> 00:29:12,460 I sure hope so, but I'm telling you I keep those same dreams 549 00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:14,800 where that little voice keeps telling me that there's 550 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,250 something in the world for me to look for, 551 00:29:17,250 --> 00:29:20,810 like half my body is out there waiting for me to find it or something. 552 00:29:20,810 --> 00:29:24,320 Why Dick, you wax poetic. 553 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,150 I wish there was some way I could help you. 554 00:29:28,150 --> 00:29:31,350 Oh, Trish, just keep being yourself. 555 00:29:31,350 --> 00:29:34,350 That's all the help I need from you. 556 00:29:34,350 --> 00:29:39,010 Now, you don't want another lobotomy, do you? 557 00:29:39,010 --> 00:29:40,090 Sir, no thanks. 558 00:29:40,090 --> 00:29:42,870 I'll keep my mind on maiming and killing, sir. 559 00:29:42,870 --> 00:29:44,490 That's better. 560 00:29:44,490 --> 00:29:48,810 Besides you know that we are striving to genetically create 561 00:29:48,810 --> 00:29:51,910 a biological counterpart, which will 562 00:29:51,910 --> 00:29:57,720 undoubtedly remedy that feeling of incompleteness you sense. 563 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:04,130 Alone you have good power, but with a genetic clone, 564 00:30:04,130 --> 00:30:07,370 your power will be incredible. 565 00:30:07,370 --> 00:30:14,030 Or to put it another way, two Dicks are better than one. 566 00:30:14,030 --> 00:30:15,700 I know it, sir. 567 00:30:15,700 --> 00:30:17,180 Excuse me! 568 00:30:17,180 --> 00:30:18,170 Dr. Slack PhD! 569 00:30:21,140 --> 00:30:23,410 Yes, what is it Professor Holt? 570 00:30:23,410 --> 00:30:26,950 And it better be good, or I'm gonna have your nipples 571 00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:28,430 pierced with soldering irons. 572 00:30:28,430 --> 00:30:32,250 I've already done that, Dr. Slag PhD. 573 00:30:32,250 --> 00:30:33,050 Oh yes, that's right. 574 00:30:36,470 --> 00:30:38,910 What a show it was, huh, Li'l Eggwhite? 575 00:30:42,030 --> 00:30:43,920 Shut up, Li'l Eggwhite. 576 00:30:46,660 --> 00:30:51,440 Well, Dr. Slag PhD, we have the final cloning results. 577 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:56,960 And I bet it's just another miserable failure. 578 00:30:58,340 --> 00:31:00,380 Au contrare, we simply put 579 00:31:00,380 --> 00:31:05,330 a set of swimming flippers on an iguana with sinus congestion. 580 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:14,660 Oh, Patrice, I'm so glad you appreciate a good sense of humor. 581 00:31:14,660 --> 00:31:17,760 Perhaps you would like to participate 582 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:23,030 in a little demonstration of this lovely creature's special powers. 583 00:31:23,030 --> 00:31:24,020 No! 584 00:31:24,020 --> 00:31:25,210 No! 585 00:31:25,210 --> 00:31:26,010 No! 586 00:31:33,290 --> 00:31:34,480 I'm on fire. 587 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:39,160 My skin, my hair! 588 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:45,930 What a shame. 589 00:31:45,930 --> 00:31:50,470 She had such good hands, didn't she, my Li'l Eggwhite? 590 00:31:50,470 --> 00:31:53,820 Great hands, Dr. Slag PhD. 591 00:31:53,820 --> 00:31:56,970 Now you see why cloning is so crucial to our purpose. 592 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,860 Don't worry, Dick. 593 00:32:01,860 --> 00:32:07,390 We'll soon set you up with a counterpart, and when we do, 594 00:32:07,390 --> 00:32:10,120 you'll be so powerful you'll make 595 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,450 what that mutant did to that girl look like heavy petting. 596 00:32:15,660 --> 00:32:16,460 Petting. 597 00:32:19,460 --> 00:32:23,670 I felt strange and lost that amorous feeling, 598 00:32:23,670 --> 00:32:33,680 so I sent Trish back to her dorm room, but Trish was persistent. 599 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:54,340 Hello? 600 00:32:54,340 --> 00:32:56,850 Hi, sweetie. 601 00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:58,950 Oh, hi, Trishy. 602 00:32:58,950 --> 00:33:02,020 Oh, you don't sound very excited to hear from me. 603 00:33:02,020 --> 00:33:03,400 Oh, heck, Trishy, you know I'm always 604 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,940 excited to hear from you. 605 00:33:04,940 --> 00:33:07,570 It's just I have this big entomology exam tomorrow, 606 00:33:07,570 --> 00:33:09,510 and you know how much that class means to me. 607 00:33:09,510 --> 00:33:14,340 Well, you know I want you to get an A in whatever that is. 608 00:33:14,340 --> 00:33:18,080 Although I was hoping that maybe we could get together 609 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,770 and I could give you a little inspiration. 610 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:27,600 You're not doing that phone thing again, are you? 611 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:29,000 Oh, Trish. 612 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,930 You give new meaning to fiber optics. 613 00:33:31,930 --> 00:33:34,460 Trish, you know I can't take it when you put the phone down there. 614 00:33:41,330 --> 00:33:44,460 Oh, I love you Trish, but I just can't do it. 615 00:33:44,460 --> 00:33:46,750 Entomology class is just too important to throw 616 00:33:46,750 --> 00:33:48,570 away on a night of passion. 617 00:33:48,570 --> 00:33:50,410 Gosh, I guess you're right. 618 00:33:50,410 --> 00:33:52,000 I'm sorry. 619 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,300 Can you ever find a way to forgive me? 620 00:33:54,300 --> 00:33:55,860 Of course I forgive you. 621 00:33:55,860 --> 00:33:59,010 You're my little grasshopper. 622 00:33:59,010 --> 00:33:59,810 Kiss kiss. 623 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,120 Darn, another hard on. 624 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,040 Well, I guess there's nothing to do except read a little 625 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:16,300 more until I can fall asleep. 626 00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:20,540 Oh, the boll weevil thrust its long, slender, throbbing nose 627 00:34:20,540 --> 00:34:25,200 into the wet cotton ball amidst the disgusting black fluid. 628 00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:50,060 I'm having the dream again... the melon heavy dream. 629 00:34:50,060 --> 00:34:53,510 I'm in a room with smoke and Trish and her sisters, 630 00:34:53,510 --> 00:34:55,720 the grasshoppers, come. 631 00:34:55,720 --> 00:34:59,490 They're trying to tell me something about entomology. 632 00:34:59,490 --> 00:35:02,490 They're telling me about grasshoppers. 633 00:35:02,490 --> 00:35:05,920 I am happy. 634 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:07,400 Then it happens again. 635 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,250 I'm drawn to Trish. 636 00:35:10,250 --> 00:35:13,050 As she turns around, her face has changed. 637 00:35:13,050 --> 00:35:15,070 Something is very wrong. 638 00:35:15,070 --> 00:35:18,070 As if born out of all evil come hideous creatures. 639 00:35:18,070 --> 00:35:19,960 The spirits urge me on. 640 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:23,390 I don't want to strangle Trish, but I can't control myself. 641 00:35:23,390 --> 00:35:26,150 The more I try to unlock my fingers, the tighter they get. 642 00:35:26,150 --> 00:35:27,770 It's as if I'm strangling all that's bad... 643 00:35:27,770 --> 00:35:34,490 my own sex, my guilt. She is a limp cockroach. 644 00:35:34,490 --> 00:35:36,130 Suddenly I hear a voice. 645 00:35:36,130 --> 00:35:37,530 Adlai. 646 00:35:37,530 --> 00:35:38,470 Dick. 647 00:35:38,470 --> 00:35:40,700 The fecund stomach calls to me. 648 00:35:40,700 --> 00:35:41,770 The first maker. 649 00:35:41,770 --> 00:35:43,750 I cannot stop myself. 650 00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:45,100 I am drawn to it. 651 00:35:45,100 --> 00:35:48,230 It reaches out to me, the magna mater, the spirit of all 652 00:35:48,230 --> 00:35:51,410 that's pleasurable, but the symbol of all that's perverse and evil. 653 00:35:58,830 --> 00:36:04,380 Two extremely trendy well dressed lesbian spirits exhort me. 654 00:36:04,380 --> 00:36:08,440 All of the spirits combine their powers to join the exhortation. 655 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:11,470 I do the only logical thing under the circumstances. 656 00:36:11,470 --> 00:36:13,550 I stick my hand in. 657 00:36:13,550 --> 00:36:16,020 They cry out in exultation. 658 00:36:16,020 --> 00:36:20,080 As if being born again, my arm is warm. 659 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,390 It is wet. 660 00:36:22,390 --> 00:36:24,120 It's lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. 661 00:36:28,100 --> 00:36:29,590 Dick! 662 00:36:29,590 --> 00:36:31,090 Dick! 663 00:36:31,090 --> 00:36:34,100 All I can think of is Dick! 664 00:36:34,100 --> 00:36:36,580 And the dream ends the same way it always does. 665 00:36:36,580 --> 00:36:40,270 I say something, but I don't know what I mean. 666 00:36:40,270 --> 00:36:42,090 I don't know why I say it. 667 00:36:42,090 --> 00:36:45,100 I say Dick must never find out. 668 00:36:52,060 --> 00:36:54,730 Why do I feel there's a Dick out there? 669 00:36:54,730 --> 00:36:55,530 My hand! 670 00:36:55,530 --> 00:36:56,950 It's glowing. 671 00:36:56,950 --> 00:36:58,450 It's yellow! 672 00:36:58,450 --> 00:37:00,180 Yellow is not my color. 673 00:37:00,180 --> 00:37:01,900 Oh god, I need water! 674 00:37:01,900 --> 00:37:03,650 Wake me up! 675 00:37:03,650 --> 00:37:05,640 I'm not dreaming. 676 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,640 My hand is hard and stiff. 677 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:11,310 I can't move my fingers, but I seem to be 678 00:37:11,310 --> 00:37:14,850 able to control this power. 679 00:37:14,850 --> 00:37:17,510 Well Dick, I brought these bored housewives 680 00:37:17,510 --> 00:37:20,230 here tonight to see you take on my most lethal challenge. 681 00:37:23,580 --> 00:37:28,640 Roller blade warriors, whom I've personally trained from prepubescence. 682 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,290 They are armed with deadly lead pipes 683 00:37:30,290 --> 00:37:36,460 cleverly disguised to look like harmless PG rated wiffle bats. 684 00:38:15,150 --> 00:38:17,130 Whoa, he put his hand through his head. 685 00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:19,500 That wasn't part of the training. 686 00:38:24,620 --> 00:38:30,640 Well Dick, my boy, you finally found your purpose in life. 687 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,420 Those students, all they think about is safety. 688 00:38:32,420 --> 00:38:35,510 So who's gotta check their cables for the annual festival tonight? 689 00:38:35,510 --> 00:38:36,560 Me. 690 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:37,600 The cables are fine. 691 00:38:51,490 --> 00:38:52,370 Yes. 692 00:38:52,370 --> 00:38:56,630 One special day, something unusual happened. 693 00:38:56,630 --> 00:38:58,970 Oh, Adlai, it's so cold in here. 694 00:39:06,810 --> 00:39:08,040 Here, let me warm up the room. 695 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,320 I decided to try and make my hand glow like in the dream. 696 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,690 My hand got very hard and stiff, but I could control its power. 697 00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:21,680 I suppose there's some good things I have with this new power after all. 698 00:39:34,010 --> 00:39:36,340 Great article, Adlai. 699 00:39:36,340 --> 00:39:37,140 Thank you, captain. 700 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,200 Look at the headline, Adlai. 701 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,150 Gosh, I'm so excited, Trish. 702 00:39:54,150 --> 00:39:56,190 My first article in the school paper, 703 00:39:56,190 --> 00:39:59,570 a feature on the annual Tromaville Night Fest. 704 00:39:59,570 --> 00:40:03,480 You're gonna be just like your dad. 705 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,500 Well, I don't know about that one, Trish. 706 00:40:05,500 --> 00:40:07,600 He was a wild one to hear tell. 707 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,250 Why, I hear all sorts of crazy stories 708 00:40:09,250 --> 00:40:12,780 from people that went to school with him that are still around today. 709 00:40:14,770 --> 00:40:17,530 Trish and I decided to play hooky. 710 00:40:17,530 --> 00:40:19,080 It was the first time I missed class, 711 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:22,490 and I felt guilty because we were going to have a lesson on water bug sex. 712 00:40:38,270 --> 00:40:39,830 That feels good. 713 00:40:39,830 --> 00:40:43,450 I couldn't help thinking about my special power. 714 00:40:43,450 --> 00:40:46,660 I could make my hand light up or not at my own will, 715 00:40:46,660 --> 00:40:48,510 but what was I supposed to do with it? 716 00:40:48,510 --> 00:40:50,820 What was my destiny? 717 00:40:50,820 --> 00:40:52,550 What will I do with my life? 718 00:40:52,550 --> 00:40:55,200 Will I be more than just a disposal flashlight, 719 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:58,440 or will I achieve truth, peace, and justice? 720 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:02,020 I don't know why, but I decided to do something crazy with my hand. 721 00:41:10,190 --> 00:41:15,470 It turned out that my hand had a power that could be used across 15 feet. 722 00:41:15,470 --> 00:41:19,840 My hand brought Trish to a higher place, where she was at one with me. 723 00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,840 Now it was revealed to me that my power could be used for the force of good. 724 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,890 We could have gone on pleasuring each other all night long, 725 00:41:30,890 --> 00:41:32,900 but we stopped to rest because tonight was 726 00:41:32,900 --> 00:41:37,670 the annual festival, and we had to get to the plant in time for the festivities. 727 00:41:37,670 --> 00:41:39,970 Little did we know that a mishap at the nuclear reactor 728 00:41:39,970 --> 00:41:42,160 had shut down power to the festival. 729 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,360 Fortunately, the well rehearsed safety 730 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,290 evacuation drills were followed perfect, and nobody panicked. 731 00:41:50,750 --> 00:41:52,720 How are we going to get our power back? 732 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:57,840 Why does the faculty advisor have to be away on sabbatical when this happens? 733 00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:58,830 -Chicken. -Egg. 734 00:41:58,830 --> 00:41:59,810 -Chicken. -Egg. 735 00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:00,610 Egg. 736 00:42:00,610 --> 00:42:01,410 Egg. 737 00:42:01,410 --> 00:42:02,580 You egghead, chicken came first. 738 00:42:02,580 --> 00:42:04,060 No, it was the egg. 739 00:42:04,060 --> 00:42:07,510 The chicken. 740 00:42:07,510 --> 00:42:09,980 Your attention please. 741 00:42:09,980 --> 00:42:12,390 Evacuate the festival grounds immediately, 742 00:42:12,390 --> 00:42:16,610 and go to the north reactor for an urgent announcement by Professor Chernobyl. 743 00:42:19,900 --> 00:42:22,570 Thank you for your cooperation. 744 00:42:22,570 --> 00:42:23,570 You guys are gonna love this. 745 00:42:23,570 --> 00:42:24,370 This is great. 746 00:42:24,370 --> 00:42:26,190 This is great. 747 00:42:26,190 --> 00:42:28,160 Attention people of Tromaville. 748 00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:29,890 My name is Professor Chernobyl, and I have 749 00:42:29,890 --> 00:42:32,420 some good news for you and some bad news for you. 750 00:42:32,420 --> 00:42:33,880 First, the bad news. 751 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,630 I was just informed by the police 752 00:42:35,630 --> 00:42:37,880 that we are experiencing technical difficulties here 753 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,280 at Tromaville nuclear facilities. 754 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,460 If we can't procure a superheated nuclear catalyst 755 00:42:43,460 --> 00:42:47,340 in the next 10 minutes, we can no longer restore power to your festival. 756 00:42:49,940 --> 00:42:53,490 I'm sorry, but it gets better. 757 00:42:53,490 --> 00:42:54,800 Much better. 758 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:58,710 Folks, you see, a result in systems shut down 759 00:42:58,710 --> 00:43:01,160 creates the possibility of a major explosion 760 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:04,930 here at the plant, showering all of us with radioactive water. 761 00:43:05,730 --> 00:43:07,660 Ain't that special? 762 00:43:07,660 --> 00:43:09,770 We'll all die, and this pisses me off, 763 00:43:09,770 --> 00:43:11,730 because I spent the last two years of my life teaching 764 00:43:11,730 --> 00:43:15,530 your little idiots how to read, write, educate yourselves, behave yourselves. 765 00:43:15,530 --> 00:43:17,400 What kind of thanks do I get? 766 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:18,420 I don't get dick. 767 00:43:18,420 --> 00:43:21,560 I would like to vomit on each and every one of you. 768 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:22,920 I'm sorry. 769 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,770 Got a little carried away. 770 00:43:25,770 --> 00:43:27,820 What we are suggesting is that all of you 771 00:43:27,820 --> 00:43:30,560 grab your radiation suits, rush to your home, 772 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:34,090 and cover yourself with eight inch thick blankets of lead. 773 00:43:34,090 --> 00:43:37,260 Those of you who took my nuclear survival class will survive. 774 00:43:37,260 --> 00:43:38,310 Those of you who didn't. 775 00:43:38,310 --> 00:43:39,110 Tough. 776 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:42,990 Oh, now the good news. 777 00:43:42,990 --> 00:43:45,420 Drinks are half price at the cafeteria. 778 00:43:45,420 --> 00:43:47,720 Thanks for your patience and have a nice day. 779 00:43:51,070 --> 00:43:54,540 Gosh, Adlai, what are we gonna do? 780 00:43:54,540 --> 00:43:56,480 We're never gonna make it through this crowd 781 00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,910 to the student union fallout shelter in time. 782 00:43:58,910 --> 00:44:00,290 Well, there's another shelter in town, 783 00:44:00,290 --> 00:44:01,850 but town is going to be just as crowded. 784 00:44:05,210 --> 00:44:07,390 Hey, wait a minute. 785 00:44:07,390 --> 00:44:08,350 I have an idea. 786 00:44:08,350 --> 00:44:09,880 It suddenly occurred to me. 787 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,460 If my hand could pleasure Trish so greatly, 788 00:44:12,460 --> 00:44:15,040 surely it could replace a nuclear reactor core. 789 00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,040 By now, all of Tromaville lay in darkness, 790 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,850 and just as my hand had brought Trish to a higher place with me 791 00:44:19,850 --> 00:44:22,690 earlier that evening, it now brought peace to the students, 792 00:44:22,690 --> 00:44:24,890 and they stopped their foolish panic. 793 00:44:24,890 --> 00:44:27,920 Soon they rallied behind me to the main nuclear core control room, 794 00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:30,370 where the highly skilled technicians valiantly 795 00:44:30,370 --> 00:44:32,290 fought to save Tromaville from catastrophe. 796 00:44:32,290 --> 00:44:33,280 -Chicken! -Egg! 797 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:34,270 -Chicken! -Egg! 798 00:44:34,270 --> 00:44:35,070 Chicken! 799 00:44:36,250 --> 00:44:37,050 Egg! 800 00:44:37,050 --> 00:44:38,230 Chicken! 801 00:44:38,230 --> 00:44:39,530 - Egg! - Chicken! 802 00:44:39,530 --> 00:44:40,520 Egg! 803 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:41,320 Chicken! 804 00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:42,990 Egg! 805 00:44:42,990 --> 00:44:45,440 Young man, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 806 00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:46,460 You don't understand. 807 00:44:46,460 --> 00:44:48,380 I've simply got to get inside that reactor. 808 00:44:48,380 --> 00:44:49,210 Absolutely not! 809 00:44:49,210 --> 00:44:50,930 That is entirely out of the question. 810 00:44:50,930 --> 00:44:54,280 Why, we may have a very dangerous situation here. 811 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:57,640 One that even trained professionals may not be able to handle. 812 00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,590 Look, this plant could go up any second, and you've done all you can. 813 00:45:00,590 --> 00:45:02,090 Why shouldn't you let me give it a chance? 814 00:45:02,090 --> 00:45:02,890 Out! 815 00:45:02,890 --> 00:45:03,910 Get out! 816 00:45:03,910 --> 00:45:04,900 He's right. 817 00:45:04,900 --> 00:45:05,890 Why not? 818 00:45:05,890 --> 00:45:06,880 Absolutely no chance. 819 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:07,860 I'd die first. 820 00:45:07,860 --> 00:45:09,840 Look, what have you got to lose. 821 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,000 Let him in, or we'll rip your head off. 822 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:12,800 Yeah. 823 00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,400 - Just kill her. - Yeah! 824 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:15,770 Let's rip her head off! Yeah! 825 00:45:15,770 --> 00:45:16,760 Kill her! 826 00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,240 Yeah! 827 00:45:18,240 --> 00:45:19,230 Yeah! 828 00:45:19,230 --> 00:45:20,210 OK. 829 00:45:20,210 --> 00:45:22,670 Go ahead. 830 00:45:22,670 --> 00:45:24,070 As I gazed into Trish's 831 00:45:24,070 --> 00:45:27,060 beautiful grasshopper eyes, I realized that now 832 00:45:27,060 --> 00:45:31,210 I had full control over my power and could light my hand at will. 833 00:45:31,210 --> 00:45:33,890 I knew that the fate of Tromaville and the world as we 834 00:45:33,890 --> 00:45:36,580 know it lay in the power of my hand. 835 00:45:36,580 --> 00:45:39,210 I rushed to the main reactor with only seconds to spare, 836 00:45:39,210 --> 00:45:41,890 and even though the reactor attendants had given up 837 00:45:41,890 --> 00:45:44,540 all hope and were abandoning the power core, 838 00:45:44,540 --> 00:45:48,680 my destiny was to find me here in the form of an even greater power. 839 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,240 As I put my hand into the reactor core, 840 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:55,310 all the lights of Tromaville blazed back to life, and there was much rejoicing. 841 00:46:05,170 --> 00:46:08,640 Trish was so proud. 842 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:11,460 Now I had discovered my purpose in life... 843 00:46:11,460 --> 00:46:13,680 That my power was indeed a force of good, 844 00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:18,190 which could be used for the betterment of all mankind. 845 00:46:18,190 --> 00:46:19,160 Clean up that mercury spill. 846 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,060 Mayor Smith is about to give a press conference. 847 00:46:21,060 --> 00:46:21,990 Toxins, shmoxins. 848 00:46:21,990 --> 00:46:24,780 After the success of "Class of Nuke 'Em High Part 2," 849 00:46:24,780 --> 00:46:27,130 dad was elected mayor, not just because he had really 850 00:46:27,130 --> 00:46:29,270 put Tromaville on the map, but because really 851 00:46:29,270 --> 00:46:32,570 he was the only person who could find Tromaville on the map. 852 00:46:32,570 --> 00:46:36,209 Ladies and gentlemen, it does me great pleasure 853 00:46:36,221 --> 00:46:39,340 to honor the person that we honor today. 854 00:46:39,340 --> 00:46:43,610 Not long after the campus experienced the tragedy of subhumanoid meltdown 855 00:46:43,610 --> 00:46:46,320 and the subsequent defeat of its evil rulers, 856 00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:52,260 my wife gave birth to a little boy, but sadly passed away afterward. 857 00:46:52,260 --> 00:46:54,710 It was a bleak time in Tromaville history, 858 00:46:54,710 --> 00:46:58,210 and many people felt our city was destined to ruin, 859 00:46:58,210 --> 00:47:03,180 but we fought the odds and built back up stronger than ever. 860 00:47:03,180 --> 00:47:08,820 Victoria, God rest her souls... both of them... left me 861 00:47:08,820 --> 00:47:11,230 with a part of her that gave me strength 862 00:47:11,230 --> 00:47:16,510 during those tough times, and that part of her stands before you today. 863 00:47:16,510 --> 00:47:18,270 What a beautiful moment. 864 00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:23,830 As newly elected mayor of Tromaville, 865 00:47:23,830 --> 00:47:27,360 it does me proud to make it my first duty 866 00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:33,240 to present my son, Adlai Smith, with the key to the city. 867 00:47:33,240 --> 00:47:34,230 Good work, son. 868 00:47:34,230 --> 00:47:35,720 Thank you, dad. 869 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,680 Yes, go ahead, sir. 870 00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,170 Hi, is true that Adlai is the cleanest source of power 871 00:47:49,170 --> 00:47:51,320 the nuclear plant has ever used. 872 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,250 Yes, in fact it is true, which is 873 00:47:53,250 --> 00:47:57,010 why I've created a new cabinet post, minister of energy, 874 00:47:57,010 --> 00:47:59,220 which Adlai will be the first to fill. 875 00:47:59,220 --> 00:48:01,920 His main responsibility will be to power reactor 876 00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:04,230 during the day and to charge its reserve batteries 877 00:48:04,230 --> 00:48:09,030 for the night, giving us the cleanest burning Tromaville ever. 878 00:48:16,610 --> 00:48:20,570 Meanwhile, Doctor Slag PhD was watching his favorite Toxic Avenger movie 879 00:48:20,570 --> 00:48:23,500 on the Troma afternoon cinema classics theater. 880 00:48:23,500 --> 00:48:26,660 When the news came on showing Mayor Smith's press conference, 881 00:48:26,660 --> 00:48:31,450 he discovered much to his surprise that his protege, Dick, had a twin. 882 00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:34,580 Most of all, I am proud to receive this big key. 883 00:48:47,990 --> 00:48:49,090 Dick has a twin. 884 00:48:49,090 --> 00:48:52,590 What do you mean, Dr. Slag PhD? 885 00:48:52,590 --> 00:48:55,730 I just saw Dick's twin brother on the 6 o'clock news. 886 00:48:58,930 --> 00:49:00,940 Well, what are we going to do now? 887 00:49:03,740 --> 00:49:04,610 Just this. 888 00:49:04,610 --> 00:49:08,930 We know that since Dick is one half of a set of twins 889 00:49:08,930 --> 00:49:11,590 there must be the potential within him 890 00:49:11,590 --> 00:49:17,460 for a full set of powers, but only if he's joined with one 891 00:49:17,460 --> 00:49:21,100 whose ability complements his. 892 00:49:21,100 --> 00:49:26,530 We know that our attempts to create such a being have failed consistently. 893 00:49:26,530 --> 00:49:29,400 By the way, what was the results of the latest attempt? 894 00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:34,470 We ended up with the bodiless head with big metal teeth. 895 00:49:34,470 --> 00:49:37,010 What ability can he possibly have? 896 00:49:37,010 --> 00:49:41,130 Well, he'd make a pretty damn good bottle opener. 897 00:49:41,130 --> 00:49:44,470 Remind me to have your eyeballs lanced in the morning. 898 00:49:44,470 --> 00:49:48,260 Yes, sir, Dr. Slag PhD. 899 00:49:48,260 --> 00:49:52,880 In any event, if we are to unleash the potential for power 900 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:57,970 that rests within Dick, we have no other choice 901 00:49:57,970 --> 00:50:03,040 but to couple him with the only one who will ever exist 902 00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:06,360 with complementary powers. 903 00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:12,690 Namely, Adlai Smith, his twin brother. 904 00:50:15,270 --> 00:50:18,530 How are we ever going to get him to join our ranks? 905 00:50:18,530 --> 00:50:20,140 I know exactly how. 906 00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:29,090 Trust me, Professor Holt, I have a plan. 907 00:50:29,090 --> 00:50:31,950 I love you plans, Dr. Slag, PhD. 908 00:50:41,510 --> 00:50:44,650 Thanks to the power source in my hand, everything 909 00:50:44,662 --> 00:50:47,940 was great at the Tromaville Nuclear power facility. 910 00:50:47,940 --> 00:50:49,590 The power was back on. 911 00:50:49,590 --> 00:50:52,520 The annual festivities were celebrated without a hitch, 912 00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:56,150 and the only problem was I had to spend half the day 913 00:50:56,150 --> 00:50:59,170 with my hand in the nuclear reactor core sitting 914 00:50:59,170 --> 00:51:01,190 on a hard chair and was developing 915 00:51:01,190 --> 00:51:05,460 some awful subhumanoid hemorrhoids, not to mention a bad case of the sniffles. 916 00:51:05,460 --> 00:51:06,430 Hey, Adlai. 917 00:51:06,430 --> 00:51:09,820 What do you want for breakfast in the morning? 918 00:51:11,250 --> 00:51:12,490 -Oh my! -Gesundheit! 919 00:51:12,490 --> 00:51:13,290 Bless you. 920 00:51:13,290 --> 00:51:14,090 Are you OK? 921 00:51:14,090 --> 00:51:15,870 No, that's disgusting. 922 00:51:15,870 --> 00:51:16,690 Look at him. 923 00:51:16,690 --> 00:51:17,520 He's taking his hand out. 924 00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:18,340 Power's jumping. 925 00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:26,200 What happened? 926 00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:27,060 The lights went out. 927 00:51:27,060 --> 00:51:28,330 Hey, bozo, put your hand back in. 928 00:51:28,330 --> 00:51:31,400 Geez, Adlai, we're trying to run a nuclear power plant here. 929 00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,150 All the lights in Tromaville went out. 930 00:51:33,150 --> 00:51:35,990 Oh, a little boogey snot never hurt anyone, Adlai. 931 00:51:35,990 --> 00:51:38,070 We're counting on you for the power. 932 00:51:38,070 --> 00:51:39,210 See you in the morning. 933 00:51:39,210 --> 00:51:40,600 We'll bring you some eggs. 934 00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,210 Low fat yogurt there, Adlai. 935 00:51:43,210 --> 00:51:44,580 That boy didn't have to sneeze. 936 00:51:44,580 --> 00:51:46,410 That was selfish of him. 937 00:51:52,060 --> 00:51:53,380 Hello? 938 00:51:53,380 --> 00:51:55,600 Hi, sweetie. 939 00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:57,370 Hi, beetle bug head. 940 00:51:57,370 --> 00:52:01,790 Even though I had to sit there most of the day, I did feel great about the fact 941 00:52:01,790 --> 00:52:03,590 that the good students of Tromaville 942 00:52:03,590 --> 00:52:10,060 were able to go about their own business, studying and preparing for exams. 943 00:52:10,060 --> 00:52:13,870 But while I was doing good, Slag was doing bad. 944 00:52:13,870 --> 00:52:21,210 His plan was to use my twin brother, Dick, to turn the good students against me. 945 00:52:21,210 --> 00:52:23,210 All right, all you clones put on your trench coats 946 00:52:23,210 --> 00:52:26,370 to cover up your disgusting mutated body so 947 00:52:26,370 --> 00:52:29,260 that you won't be noticed by the students in the dorm. 948 00:52:29,260 --> 00:52:31,490 Now get out of here. 949 00:52:31,490 --> 00:52:34,580 While I was sitting with my hand in the reactor core, 950 00:52:34,580 --> 00:52:37,870 Dick was duped by the bad guys to impersonate me and beat up 951 00:52:37,870 --> 00:52:38,860 on the good students. 952 00:52:45,860 --> 00:52:52,140 The students mistook Dick for me since they had bad eyesight and mistook everyone. 953 00:52:52,140 --> 00:52:54,440 My name was about to be dragged through isotopic mud. 954 00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:55,240 Hi, Adlai. 955 00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:57,600 Hey, Adlai, why'd you dye your hair black? 956 00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,150 And I know my father wants me to work here and all, 957 00:53:00,150 --> 00:53:03,190 but sometimes I think I'd just rather be some... 958 00:53:03,190 --> 00:53:05,190 Hey, Adlai. 959 00:53:05,190 --> 00:53:06,510 Hey, Adlai. 960 00:53:09,190 --> 00:53:11,190 Now, Adlai... 961 00:53:11,190 --> 00:53:12,190 Don't choke me. 962 00:53:15,890 --> 00:53:16,690 Yo, Adlai. 963 00:53:16,690 --> 00:53:17,810 What it is? 964 00:53:17,810 --> 00:53:18,690 What's going on? What? 965 00:53:20,980 --> 00:53:22,480 Ah, somebody give me a Kleenex. 966 00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:23,670 Do it, Adlai. 967 00:53:24,470 --> 00:53:27,470 All right. 968 00:53:27,470 --> 00:53:29,120 Oh, stop it, Adlai. 969 00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:33,900 That's mister Adlai sir to you, and give me 20% of your allowance from now on. 970 00:53:33,900 --> 00:53:34,810 Come on, Adlai. 971 00:53:34,810 --> 00:53:36,180 Go, Adlai! 972 00:53:36,180 --> 00:53:37,120 Uh, Kleenex? 973 00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:39,480 Lordy, lordy, lordy, oh, no! 974 00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:41,830 Now students, no running in the dorm halls! 975 00:53:41,830 --> 00:53:43,240 Safety first! 976 00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:48,050 Now I'll choke the guard again. 977 00:53:48,050 --> 00:53:49,550 Ah, Adlai! 978 00:53:54,530 --> 00:53:57,210 I'm better than you. 979 00:54:01,500 --> 00:54:02,490 You must die! 980 00:54:02,490 --> 00:54:06,170 I wanna have the worst haircut on campus. 981 00:54:07,510 --> 00:54:09,030 What's going on here? 982 00:54:09,030 --> 00:54:09,830 Male chauvinist pigs. 983 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,720 Oh, she got me! 984 00:54:13,720 --> 00:54:15,530 You kids should be doing your homework! 985 00:54:15,530 --> 00:54:17,230 Off with your nuts! 986 00:54:18,140 --> 00:54:19,090 You got me. 987 00:54:19,090 --> 00:54:20,020 Campus cop. 988 00:54:21,830 --> 00:54:23,980 You know the dress code, Adlai! 989 00:54:23,980 --> 00:54:25,990 Never mind. 990 00:54:25,990 --> 00:54:28,080 All bikini girls back to the truck. 991 00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:29,070 Your name is Susan? 992 00:54:29,070 --> 00:54:30,570 Here, Susan! 993 00:54:30,570 --> 00:54:31,560 That's your boyfriend? 994 00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:33,560 Take that! 995 00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:34,550 This is your dog? 996 00:54:34,550 --> 00:54:36,540 Here! 997 00:54:36,540 --> 00:54:38,040 Hi, Adlai. 998 00:54:44,530 --> 00:54:46,170 Why do they call me Adlai? 999 00:54:46,170 --> 00:54:48,230 Isn't that a girl's name? 1000 00:54:48,230 --> 00:54:50,300 Something fishy is going on here. 1001 00:54:50,300 --> 00:54:51,380 Watch it, Dick. 1002 00:54:51,380 --> 00:54:54,120 Fish head doesn't like that kind of talk. 1003 00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:54,920 It's cold out tonight. 1004 00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:56,730 I'd give anything for a sweater. 1005 00:54:56,730 --> 00:54:58,050 He's cold, dragon clone. 1006 00:54:58,050 --> 00:55:00,600 I'll warm him up. 1007 00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:03,090 Oh, I love this part. 1008 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:06,280 I'm on fire! 1009 00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:08,070 Hot, hot! 1010 00:55:08,070 --> 00:55:09,260 Hot, hot! 1011 00:55:09,260 --> 00:55:10,060 I'm on fire! 1012 00:55:10,060 --> 00:55:11,560 I'm on fire! 1013 00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:14,550 Oh, hot, prickly. 1014 00:55:14,550 --> 00:55:15,540 Yeah. 1015 00:55:15,540 --> 00:55:16,540 Oh yeah. 1016 00:55:16,540 --> 00:55:17,340 Yeah. 1017 00:55:17,340 --> 00:55:18,590 Yeah. 1018 00:55:20,020 --> 00:55:22,080 Oh, we kicked some good Tromaville butt. 1019 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:36,980 I passed out from the intensity 1020 00:55:36,980 --> 00:55:41,070 of the energy convergence of me and my brother. 1021 00:55:41,070 --> 00:55:43,180 So how was work today, honey? 1022 00:55:43,180 --> 00:55:46,310 We had another one of them plutonium fires today. 1023 00:55:46,310 --> 00:55:47,150 Oh, no. 1024 00:55:47,150 --> 00:55:51,220 Yeah, I feel a little dizzy, but they said I was gonna be fine. 1025 00:55:51,220 --> 00:55:53,010 Just fine. 1026 00:55:53,010 --> 00:55:56,620 Gosh, are you sure something like that can't mess with your chroma genes. 1027 00:55:56,620 --> 00:55:58,420 Oh, honey, I don't think so. 1028 00:55:58,420 --> 00:55:59,870 Come up here. 1029 00:56:06,260 --> 00:56:08,790 Gosh, you split me like a pancake, baby. 1030 00:56:12,060 --> 00:56:12,860 George, wait. 1031 00:56:12,860 --> 00:56:15,390 I feel so funny being here in Trish's room. 1032 00:56:15,390 --> 00:56:16,340 Oh, don't worry. 1033 00:56:16,340 --> 00:56:18,610 We got all the time in the world. 1034 00:56:18,610 --> 00:56:20,000 Well, oh, I can't... 1035 00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,380 We got hours. 1036 00:56:21,380 --> 00:56:23,420 We're gonna be here for a long time, honey. 1037 00:56:23,420 --> 00:56:26,380 We're gonna be here all day. 1038 00:56:26,380 --> 00:56:27,860 If you say, baby. 1039 00:56:27,860 --> 00:56:31,800 We're gonna... we're gonna... we're... we're done. 1040 00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:33,770 We're done? 1041 00:56:33,770 --> 00:56:35,440 Yeah. 1042 00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:36,240 Thanks. 1043 00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:42,790 Gosh, Trish, I tell you it was the nuttiest thing. 1044 00:56:42,790 --> 00:56:45,100 I was just sitting there, and all of a sudden 1045 00:56:45,100 --> 00:56:47,100 it was like I could picture that massacre in the dorm 1046 00:56:47,100 --> 00:56:49,730 like it was happening right in front of me. 1047 00:56:49,730 --> 00:56:53,590 And the funniest thing is it was like I was doing it myself 1048 00:56:53,590 --> 00:56:56,400 or like another part of me was out there doing it. 1049 00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:59,910 Well, maybe... maybe it has something to do with that power of yours. 1050 00:56:59,910 --> 00:57:02,780 Like, maybe you're psychic, too. 1051 00:57:02,780 --> 00:57:04,170 Psychic? 1052 00:57:04,170 --> 00:57:05,310 Geez. 1053 00:57:05,310 --> 00:57:09,480 But I never had any experiences like that in my life before. 1054 00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:13,540 Anyway, there's one thing I don't need any psychic ability to know. 1055 00:57:13,540 --> 00:57:15,370 What's that? 1056 00:57:15,370 --> 00:57:17,230 That I love you, Trish. 1057 00:57:18,980 --> 00:57:20,180 Oh, sorry. 1058 00:57:22,330 --> 00:57:25,140 Tell me you love me, baby. 1059 00:57:25,140 --> 00:57:27,090 Oh, go ahead. spit it out. 1060 00:57:40,630 --> 00:57:41,830 Well, there's a movement 1061 00:57:41,830 --> 00:57:45,710 spreading across the land and everywhere you roll. 1062 00:57:45,710 --> 00:57:51,160 It's a might wave of jobless folks and people without homes. 1063 00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:54,540 And you may not have yet felt the touch of this new age 1064 00:57:54,540 --> 00:57:58,310 sweeping through, but I'm here today to tell you, my friends, 1065 00:57:58,310 --> 00:57:59,690 you can drop your worries. 1066 00:57:59,690 --> 00:58:00,740 Be homeless, too. 1067 00:58:00,740 --> 00:58:05,920 So let's say the Nuke-A-Mama Corporation for creating this path we now walk on. 1068 00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:07,860 Maybe we've achieved an enlightened path of homeless 1069 00:58:07,860 --> 00:58:11,040 so they can get rid of us and drop the bomb. 1070 00:58:13,190 --> 00:58:16,730 You know, I used to think when I saw, 1071 00:58:16,730 --> 00:58:21,320 like, homeless people wandering around with no food, 1072 00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:27,090 no money... I used to go, that's stupid! 1073 00:58:27,090 --> 00:58:29,880 And then I thought, well, wait a second. 1074 00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:33,040 Maybe they don't have a home, and they don't have any money, 1075 00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:35,940 so that's not so stupid. 1076 00:58:35,940 --> 00:58:41,460 So that is the reason why we, the students of Troma Tech, 1077 00:58:41,460 --> 00:58:44,580 Are here tonight... to make a stand. 1078 00:58:44,580 --> 00:58:48,120 We are going to suffer with you each and every night. 1079 00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:53,540 No longer are we going to listen to our stereos, our music, 1080 00:58:53,540 --> 00:58:58,110 listen to our telephones, go to our fridge with our abundance of food. 1081 00:58:58,110 --> 00:58:59,880 Rodeo Drive pizza delivery. 1082 00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:01,130 Oh boy, I'm famished. 1083 00:59:01,130 --> 00:59:01,960 Pizza's here. 1084 00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:03,340 That'll be $225.50. 1085 00:59:04,730 --> 00:59:06,010 Sun dried tomatoes. 1086 00:59:06,010 --> 00:59:07,320 Mine's with shiitake mushrooms. 1087 00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:10,300 I've got the tuna steak. 1088 00:59:10,300 --> 00:59:11,300 Oh, no. 1089 00:59:11,300 --> 00:59:13,280 I wanted caviar. 1090 00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:15,270 Not beluga! 1091 00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:21,430 -Watch out! -Watch out! 1092 00:59:21,430 --> 00:59:22,230 Yeah! 1093 00:59:22,230 --> 00:59:23,220 Come on! 1094 00:59:23,220 --> 00:59:24,020 Yeah! 1095 00:59:24,020 --> 00:59:24,960 All right! 1096 00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:26,400 Kick his ass! 1097 00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:27,200 Yeah! 1098 00:59:40,570 --> 00:59:43,540 And boy, if I could only figure out... 1099 00:59:46,510 --> 00:59:47,990 Don't grab my arm! 1100 00:59:47,990 --> 00:59:48,980 Please, don't! 1101 00:59:48,980 --> 00:59:49,780 Don't! 1102 00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:58,380 I asked you not my arm. 1103 00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:02,330 Look out, the dragon clone! 1104 01:00:02,330 --> 01:00:04,750 Adlai, what's the matter? 1105 01:00:04,750 --> 01:00:06,740 Burn up, dragon clone. 1106 01:00:06,740 --> 01:00:07,930 Oh, no. 1107 01:00:08,730 --> 01:00:10,220 I'm on fire! 1108 01:00:10,220 --> 01:00:11,710 Ah, I'm on fire! 1109 01:00:11,710 --> 01:00:13,200 Stay away from the fence! 1110 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,390 It's electrified! 1111 01:00:14,390 --> 01:00:15,380 It's electrified! 1112 01:00:16,180 --> 01:00:17,180 It's electrified. 1113 01:00:17,180 --> 01:00:17,980 Oh, my god. 1114 01:00:17,980 --> 01:00:21,530 I'm gonna smash your head until your brain oozes through my fingers. 1115 01:00:21,530 --> 01:00:22,330 No! 1116 01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:26,280 No! 1117 01:00:31,900 --> 01:00:32,700 No! 1118 01:00:53,950 --> 01:00:54,980 Let's get out of here. 1119 01:00:54,980 --> 01:00:57,610 Let's go to the grocery store and get some marshmallows to roast. 1120 01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,650 Damn, I don't know what got into me! 1121 01:01:23,650 --> 01:01:25,320 I had this college punk by the throat ready to put 1122 01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:26,950 my fist through his face. 1123 01:01:26,950 --> 01:01:29,460 I mean, I could practically feel his brains 1124 01:01:29,460 --> 01:01:31,150 Oozing through my fingers. 1125 01:01:31,150 --> 01:01:34,400 What a wimp. 1126 01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:36,870 I'm telling you I couldn't wait. 1127 01:01:36,870 --> 01:01:38,370 It's OK. 1128 01:01:38,370 --> 01:01:39,850 Don't worry about it. 1129 01:01:39,850 --> 01:01:43,090 You subhumanoid putz. 1130 01:01:43,090 --> 01:01:47,600 And all of a sudden it was like another person was inside me. 1131 01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:48,970 No spine. 1132 01:01:48,970 --> 01:01:50,840 Telling me not to do it. 1133 01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:53,660 Listen, I've seen this dozens of times. 1134 01:01:53,660 --> 01:01:55,560 Why, when I was in the special forces 1135 01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:57,680 I used to hide in the food locker. 1136 01:01:57,680 --> 01:01:59,720 I don't to hear your damn war stories. 1137 01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:03,220 They bore me. 1138 01:02:03,220 --> 01:02:04,430 Don't worry, kid. 1139 01:02:04,430 --> 01:02:06,190 You did just fine. 1140 01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:13,500 I take it back, Dick. 1141 01:02:13,500 --> 01:02:16,980 I'm sorry I called you a subhumanoid putz. 1142 01:02:16,980 --> 01:02:17,920 Cheer up. 1143 01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:22,650 Your attention, please. 1144 01:02:22,650 --> 01:02:23,850 All points bulletin. 1145 01:02:23,850 --> 01:02:25,680 Be on the look out for Adlai Smith. 1146 01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:28,700 He's believed to be armed and dangerous and wearing a smelly black jacket. 1147 01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:35,280 Now class, you all have copies of the report which gives us 1148 01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:37,620 reason to believe that Adlai Smith led last night's 1149 01:02:37,620 --> 01:02:39,800 vicious attack on the good innocent homeless 1150 01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:43,050 people of Tromaville, killing and injuring 25 people. 1151 01:02:43,050 --> 01:02:44,180 Much worse, he died his hair black 1152 01:02:44,180 --> 01:02:48,410 and wore an ugly black suit with a skull on the back. 1153 01:02:48,410 --> 01:02:51,439 I believe it's now time for you, the good 1154 01:02:51,451 --> 01:02:54,710 students of Tromaville, to go on the attack. 1155 01:02:54,710 --> 01:02:55,890 Not me! What? 1156 01:02:55,890 --> 01:02:56,690 Not me! 1157 01:02:56,690 --> 01:02:57,530 Not me! 1158 01:02:59,170 --> 01:03:01,640 So I said, go ahead and do something then. 1159 01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:02,630 Oh, George. 1160 01:03:02,630 --> 01:03:05,600 George, can I speak to you for a minute? 1161 01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:06,320 Alone? 1162 01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:09,070 Sure. 1163 01:03:09,070 --> 01:03:10,550 What's up? 1164 01:03:10,550 --> 01:03:13,030 I'm pregnant. 1165 01:03:13,030 --> 01:03:14,530 Who's the lucky fella? 1166 01:03:14,530 --> 01:03:16,770 Well, you are. 1167 01:03:16,770 --> 01:03:17,720 There's no way. 1168 01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:18,680 That's impossible. 1169 01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:19,910 Look, you're the father of my child. 1170 01:03:19,910 --> 01:03:22,910 I haven't made love to anybody else. 1171 01:03:22,910 --> 01:03:24,130 You can't have a baby now. 1172 01:03:24,130 --> 01:03:26,450 I got... I got my career at the plant. 1173 01:03:26,450 --> 01:03:28,330 I got school. 1174 01:03:28,330 --> 01:03:30,980 You know, I've got another other boyfriend. 1175 01:03:30,980 --> 01:03:33,160 You're just gonna have to have an abortion. 1176 01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:34,910 That's all there is to it. 1177 01:03:34,910 --> 01:03:37,350 But I'll tell you what... and I think 1178 01:03:37,350 --> 01:03:39,520 I'm a heck of a guy for even suggesting this... 1179 01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:42,030 But I'll give you a ride down to the free clinic. 1180 01:03:42,030 --> 01:03:42,830 You will, George? 1181 01:03:42,830 --> 01:03:44,650 Gosh, you're so sweet. 1182 01:03:44,650 --> 01:03:46,220 Yeah, that's what they all say. 1183 01:03:46,220 --> 01:03:48,130 I'll see you tomorrow. 1184 01:03:48,130 --> 01:03:49,830 Because of what my evil twin was doing, 1185 01:03:49,830 --> 01:03:53,110 all of the good students of Tromaville turned against me. 1186 01:03:53,110 --> 01:03:55,080 Only Trish was true blue. 1187 01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,700 I was the luckiest guy on the face of the earth. 1188 01:03:57,700 --> 01:04:00,450 Gosh, Trish, even though you were able to tell the police 1189 01:04:00,450 --> 01:04:03,180 I was with you when those homeless supporters were attacked, 1190 01:04:03,180 --> 01:04:06,040 I think that guy's story has hurt my reputation a bit. 1191 01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:09,110 Listen, I won't have you knocking yourself for things that you didn't do. 1192 01:04:09,110 --> 01:04:10,620 Yeah, but what's really got me worried 1193 01:04:10,620 --> 01:04:12,890 is what all this is going to mean to my dad. 1194 01:04:12,890 --> 01:04:14,880 I mean, the first thing he does as mayor is appoint me 1195 01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:17,310 to a cabinet post, and now his own son 1196 01:04:17,310 --> 01:04:20,810 is considered to be, like, the worst criminal in Tromaville's history. 1197 01:04:20,810 --> 01:04:24,430 Soon they'll catch this maniac, and you won't have anything to worry about. 1198 01:04:24,430 --> 01:04:25,410 Don't worry. 1199 01:04:25,410 --> 01:04:26,630 All the students love you, Adlai. 1200 01:04:26,630 --> 01:04:29,030 There he is. 1201 01:04:29,030 --> 01:04:30,990 Hey, why don't you shut down the power plant 1202 01:04:30,990 --> 01:04:34,910 and save yourself some trouble of having to kill us all personally. 1203 01:04:34,910 --> 01:04:36,850 Stop Adlai now. 1204 01:04:36,850 --> 01:04:37,830 Stop Adlai. 1205 01:04:37,830 --> 01:04:38,810 Stop Adlai now. 1206 01:04:45,430 --> 01:04:46,700 Come in, Dick. 1207 01:04:46,700 --> 01:04:48,870 This is Dr. Slag PhD. 1208 01:04:48,870 --> 01:04:52,340 If you can hear me through the radio speaker in your ear, 1209 01:04:52,340 --> 01:04:55,350 punch the guy in the orange suit in the face. 1210 01:04:57,230 --> 01:05:00,360 Now you are going to do everything that I tell you. 1211 01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:03,460 Everyone, go into the grocery store and act like normal shoppers. 1212 01:05:03,460 --> 01:05:05,860 Even though it seemed that Dick was my evil twin, 1213 01:05:05,860 --> 01:05:07,270 it turned out that he wasn't. 1214 01:05:07,270 --> 01:05:10,140 He was just a tool of Dr. Slag PhD and Professor Holt 1215 01:05:10,140 --> 01:05:14,520 programmed to wreak havoc on Tromaville and tarnish my reputation. 1216 01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:17,490 Now, Dick, your mission is to wreak havoc on Tromaville. 1217 01:05:17,490 --> 01:05:20,740 When I give the signal, you will destroy the grocery store. 1218 01:05:20,740 --> 01:05:24,390 Oh, and while you're there, pick me up a six pack of Tromabeer. 1219 01:05:24,390 --> 01:05:26,260 If you need to say anything to me, 1220 01:05:26,260 --> 01:05:29,050 speak into the little Toxic Avenger lapel microphone 1221 01:05:29,050 --> 01:05:31,350 I gave you, and whatever you do, make sure 1222 01:05:31,350 --> 01:05:33,750 you look into the store's closed circuit TV cameras. 1223 01:05:33,750 --> 01:05:35,470 But I don't understand. 1224 01:05:35,470 --> 01:05:38,340 It doesn't make any sense for me to show my face into the camera. 1225 01:05:38,340 --> 01:05:40,090 I thought the idea was to terrorize this town 1226 01:05:40,090 --> 01:05:41,210 and not let any know who it is. 1227 01:05:41,210 --> 01:05:43,880 Listen, you have your orders, so go to it. 1228 01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:46,670 Stop challenging the wisdom of your superiors. 1229 01:05:46,670 --> 01:05:48,260 Sir, yes, sir. 1230 01:05:48,260 --> 01:05:50,710 Now, attack! 1231 01:05:51,690 --> 01:05:52,410 Oh my! 1232 01:05:54,140 --> 01:05:57,620 Oh, clone fever. 1233 01:06:04,070 --> 01:06:05,250 Need a hand? 1234 01:06:05,250 --> 01:06:06,050 Here. 1235 01:06:28,870 --> 01:06:32,660 The good, the bad, the subhumanoid. 1236 01:06:32,660 --> 01:06:35,690 It's the latest movie, da da da, from Michael and Lloyd. 1237 01:06:37,880 --> 01:06:39,160 Hello? 1238 01:06:39,160 --> 01:06:40,450 Hello, son? 1239 01:06:40,450 --> 01:06:41,990 Hi, it's your dad, the mayor. 1240 01:06:41,990 --> 01:06:43,390 Hi, dad. 1241 01:06:43,390 --> 01:06:46,670 Dad, your respect is everything to me, and I love you. 1242 01:06:46,670 --> 01:06:47,830 And I love you, too. 1243 01:06:47,830 --> 01:06:49,690 Dad, that guy in the black jacket 1244 01:06:49,690 --> 01:06:52,340 wreaking havoc on Tromaville... that's not me! 1245 01:06:52,340 --> 01:06:54,250 Well, that's what I was meaning to talk to you about. 1246 01:06:54,250 --> 01:06:55,580 Dad, I'm being framed! 1247 01:06:55,580 --> 01:06:56,660 Don't you believe me? 1248 01:06:56,660 --> 01:06:58,390 Well, of course, I believe you, but the problem 1249 01:06:58,390 --> 01:06:59,910 is no one else was with you at the time 1250 01:06:59,910 --> 01:07:02,640 besides that girlfriend of yours, 1251 01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:04,760 the one that used to be your wet nurse. 1252 01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:07,870 I am the mayor, and as such, I will be able to keep the police 1253 01:07:07,870 --> 01:07:09,780 off your back for the time being, 1254 01:07:09,780 --> 01:07:11,550 at least until they find some evidence. 1255 01:07:11,550 --> 01:07:12,500 Evidence? 1256 01:07:12,500 --> 01:07:15,180 The way you're talking it sounds like you don't even trust me. 1257 01:07:15,180 --> 01:07:16,760 Well, yes, I trust you. 1258 01:07:16,760 --> 01:07:18,760 Well, you know I've only been alive for two years, 1259 01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:20,560 so you really don't know me that long. 1260 01:07:20,560 --> 01:07:22,350 Of course I don't, but it did look like you 1261 01:07:22,350 --> 01:07:25,100 in the grocery store on that videotape with black hair 1262 01:07:25,100 --> 01:07:26,680 and a tasteless leather jacket. 1263 01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:29,290 I mean, I wouldn't stake my political career on your innocence. 1264 01:07:29,290 --> 01:07:30,590 You don't believe me! 1265 01:07:30,590 --> 01:07:32,790 No, no, I didn't mean it like that. 1266 01:07:32,790 --> 01:07:35,390 Listen, I think it would be best for both of us 1267 01:07:35,390 --> 01:07:38,790 if you just took some time off and sort of laid low for a while. 1268 01:07:38,790 --> 01:07:40,560 You know I can arrange it with your dean, and... 1269 01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:43,290 Thanks, dad, but I'm going to try and figure things out on my own. 1270 01:07:43,290 --> 01:07:45,010 What if I give you a call later? 1271 01:07:45,010 --> 01:07:46,990 OK, son, call me later. 1272 01:07:46,990 --> 01:07:48,140 No, wait. 1273 01:07:48,140 --> 01:07:49,580 Better let me call you. 1274 01:07:49,580 --> 01:07:50,930 I'll do it from a payphone or something 1275 01:07:50,930 --> 01:07:53,660 so they can't trace the call back to me. 1276 01:07:53,660 --> 01:07:54,490 All right. 1277 01:07:54,490 --> 01:07:55,470 Bye. 1278 01:07:55,470 --> 01:07:56,280 All right. 1279 01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:58,200 Good bye. 1280 01:07:58,200 --> 01:07:59,700 Even though I was innocent, 1281 01:07:59,700 --> 01:08:02,200 I didn't want to hurt my father's reputation. 1282 01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:07,710 So I decided to pack my bags and move to east Tromaville and go into hiding. 1283 01:08:08,510 --> 01:08:09,700 Mr. Smith? 1284 01:08:09,700 --> 01:08:11,260 Can I help you, sir? 1285 01:08:11,260 --> 01:08:13,660 Yes, I think you can. 1286 01:08:13,660 --> 01:08:17,290 I want to talk to you about the crime you've been accused of. 1287 01:08:17,290 --> 01:08:18,370 Another reporter. 1288 01:08:18,370 --> 01:08:20,640 Well, you know I maintain that I'm innocent, 1289 01:08:20,640 --> 01:08:22,370 and I nothing more to say. 1290 01:08:22,370 --> 01:08:24,490 Now, I think you'll have to leave. 1291 01:08:24,490 --> 01:08:25,920 No, no, no. 1292 01:08:25,920 --> 01:08:28,390 I believe that you're innocent. 1293 01:08:28,390 --> 01:08:31,340 I represent a branch of the justice department 1294 01:08:31,340 --> 01:08:36,160 that deals like yours, so I want to help. 1295 01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:37,790 You really think I'm innocent? 1296 01:08:37,790 --> 01:08:39,120 I know it for a fact. 1297 01:08:42,370 --> 01:08:44,910 What do you want? 1298 01:08:44,910 --> 01:08:46,950 It's now what I want. 1299 01:08:46,950 --> 01:08:48,540 It's what you want. 1300 01:08:48,540 --> 01:08:51,050 With that all American image you've built for yourself 1301 01:08:51,050 --> 01:08:56,760 I think there's probably nothing you want more than to clear your good name. 1302 01:08:56,760 --> 01:08:59,670 Think about it. 1303 01:08:59,670 --> 01:09:03,920 All the good you've done... helping the homeless, 1304 01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:09,550 fighting bigotry, staying faithful to your girlfriend, 1305 01:09:09,550 --> 01:09:12,050 and of course, saving the boll weevil. 1306 01:09:12,050 --> 01:09:14,880 Look, you leave the weevil out of this. 1307 01:09:14,880 --> 01:09:17,670 Well, you'd hate for the boll weevil society 1308 01:09:17,670 --> 01:09:20,210 to strike your name from its records 1309 01:09:20,210 --> 01:09:24,380 just because some psychopath committed some crimes and blamed them on you. 1310 01:09:24,380 --> 01:09:25,290 Please, please. 1311 01:09:25,290 --> 01:09:26,350 No more. 1312 01:09:26,350 --> 01:09:29,850 I'm offering you a chance to redeem yourself. 1313 01:09:29,850 --> 01:09:31,740 Don't you want that? 1314 01:09:31,740 --> 01:09:33,460 Well, yes, but how? 1315 01:09:33,460 --> 01:09:36,500 You have a special power, but you never dreamed 1316 01:09:36,500 --> 01:09:39,960 how really special it can be. 1317 01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:43,850 Come work for me, and I'll show you how, 1318 01:09:43,850 --> 01:09:46,930 as long as you do what I ask. 1319 01:09:46,930 --> 01:09:49,520 Well, like what? 1320 01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:52,180 Now this is where we have to be open minded. 1321 01:09:52,180 --> 01:09:56,840 The plan I have in mind might involve turning the entire town 1322 01:09:56,840 --> 01:09:59,460 of Tromaville and probably the surrounding areas 1323 01:09:59,460 --> 01:10:03,990 like New York City into a puddle of radioactive slag. 1324 01:10:03,990 --> 01:10:06,250 Are you serious? 1325 01:10:06,250 --> 01:10:11,830 We could always try to evacuate the areas first, although we probably won't bother. 1326 01:10:11,830 --> 01:10:13,680 You are serious. 1327 01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:16,240 Well, you've got me all wrong, pal, because I'll never 1328 01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:18,840 use my power to cause harm to anyone, 1329 01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:21,390 even if I have to live in disgrace the rest of my life. 1330 01:10:24,200 --> 01:10:25,690 I was afraid you'd say that. 1331 01:10:25,690 --> 01:10:26,890 Bring in the clones. 1332 01:10:26,890 --> 01:10:28,310 - Bring in the clones. - OK. 1333 01:10:28,310 --> 01:10:29,800 Bring in the clones. 1334 01:10:29,800 --> 01:10:31,640 We'll have to do this the hard way. 1335 01:10:40,340 --> 01:10:42,980 Take him to the hideout. 1336 01:10:42,980 --> 01:10:44,400 Don't kill it! 1337 01:10:44,400 --> 01:10:45,820 Don't kill it! 1338 01:10:45,820 --> 01:10:48,490 Down with abortion. 1339 01:10:48,490 --> 01:10:52,640 Because of her exposure to the remnants of the subhumanoid meltdown syndrome, 1340 01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:55,300 Elaina's pregnancy proceeded rapidly. 1341 01:10:55,300 --> 01:10:57,010 Aloha. 1342 01:10:57,010 --> 01:10:59,600 George, aren't you gonna come with me? 1343 01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:02,450 Honey, I got a reputation to think of. 1344 01:11:02,450 --> 01:11:03,920 Well, OK. 1345 01:11:03,920 --> 01:11:05,640 I guess I understand. 1346 01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:06,920 Don't kill it. 1347 01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:07,780 Don't kill it. 1348 01:11:07,780 --> 01:11:08,840 Wish me luck? 1349 01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:10,100 You give 'em hell, sweetheart. 1350 01:11:10,100 --> 01:11:11,040 Break a leg. 1351 01:11:11,040 --> 01:11:11,840 OK. 1352 01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:15,000 Don't kill it. 1353 01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:15,990 Let 'em live. 1354 01:11:15,990 --> 01:11:16,980 No. 1355 01:11:16,980 --> 01:11:17,960 Don't kill it. 1356 01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:18,960 Don't kill it. 1357 01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:21,430 Please, let me in. 1358 01:11:21,430 --> 01:11:22,420 Don't kill it. 1359 01:11:22,420 --> 01:11:23,410 Don't kill it. 1360 01:11:23,410 --> 01:11:24,900 Hey, look at that bird up there. 1361 01:11:24,900 --> 01:11:27,370 I gotta have an abortion. 1362 01:11:27,370 --> 01:11:28,860 Don't kill it! 1363 01:11:28,860 --> 01:11:30,340 Don't kill it! 1364 01:11:30,340 --> 01:11:31,330 Don't kill it! 1365 01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:33,310 Oh my god! 1366 01:11:33,310 --> 01:11:37,770 I'm going into labor. 1367 01:11:37,770 --> 01:11:38,750 Oh, please. 1368 01:11:38,750 --> 01:11:39,750 My baby's coming out! 1369 01:11:46,670 --> 01:11:47,390 Oh no! 1370 01:11:48,660 --> 01:11:50,630 Here it comes! 1371 01:11:58,060 --> 01:11:59,050 Kill it! 1372 01:11:59,050 --> 01:12:00,040 Kill it! 1373 01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:02,120 Kill it! 1374 01:12:02,120 --> 01:12:03,550 Here comes Trish now. 1375 01:12:03,550 --> 01:12:07,300 By now, all the good people of Tromaville were against me. 1376 01:12:07,300 --> 01:12:12,350 Even my father doubted me, and in the end, only Trish was still behind me. 1377 01:12:13,150 --> 01:12:15,840 But while I was locked up in the hideout, 1378 01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:20,500 my twin brother was sent to impersonate and make the moves on my one true love. 1379 01:12:20,500 --> 01:12:21,710 Zoom in on her hiney. 1380 01:12:21,710 --> 01:12:23,420 The director loves those shot. 1381 01:12:23,420 --> 01:12:26,880 Professor Holt, ever the master of disguises, was on the scene 1382 01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:29,340 live with a clone video crew. 1383 01:12:29,340 --> 01:12:31,650 Adlai, are you crazy? 1384 01:12:31,650 --> 01:12:33,500 Everyone's turned against you, and they're 1385 01:12:33,500 --> 01:12:36,880 still gonna recognize you in the black jacket and black hair. 1386 01:12:36,880 --> 01:12:38,990 What are you doing out in the open? 1387 01:12:38,990 --> 01:12:42,320 You're supposed to stay out of sight until this murder thing blows over. 1388 01:12:42,320 --> 01:12:43,120 I know. 1389 01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:48,760 Well, it was pretty brave of you to come out in the open 1390 01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:51,850 where everyone hates you just to see me. 1391 01:12:51,850 --> 01:12:53,830 I didn't think you did those things. 1392 01:12:53,830 --> 01:12:56,710 Well, I didn't know anybody knew who I was. 1393 01:12:56,710 --> 01:12:58,090 You're so modest. 1394 01:12:58,090 --> 01:13:00,000 You know, I really do miss that. 1395 01:13:04,500 --> 01:13:05,600 What happened to your forehead. 1396 01:13:08,290 --> 01:13:11,210 I cut myself shaving. 1397 01:13:11,210 --> 01:13:12,010 Come on. 1398 01:13:12,010 --> 01:13:15,210 Let's get you out of sight. 1399 01:13:15,210 --> 01:13:20,950 Wait till Adlai sees these videos of Trish with his big twin, Dick. 1400 01:13:20,950 --> 01:13:24,240 When Dr. Slag PhD informed me that I had a twin brother, 1401 01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:27,750 I was really tied up in knots. 1402 01:13:27,750 --> 01:13:30,580 I think the idea of me having a twin brother is ridiculous, 1403 01:13:30,580 --> 01:13:32,830 especially one that has a power like mine. 1404 01:13:32,830 --> 01:13:37,550 Well, it's not precisely like yours, although it is similar. 1405 01:13:37,550 --> 01:13:41,850 However, our research shows that the two of you in tandem 1406 01:13:41,850 --> 01:13:49,330 have the astounding ability to turn inert objects into radioactive ones. 1407 01:13:49,330 --> 01:13:53,410 Just think about terrorist organizations 1408 01:13:53,410 --> 01:13:58,370 paying us to turn a few hundred pounds of sand into plutonium. 1409 01:13:58,370 --> 01:13:59,710 You don't understand. 1410 01:13:59,710 --> 01:14:01,800 I'll never go along with a plan like that, 1411 01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:03,700 especially if it involves destroying Tromaville. 1412 01:14:07,460 --> 01:14:10,520 Oh, the place I love most on earth. 1413 01:14:10,520 --> 01:14:12,310 Check focus on her melon heavy breasts. 1414 01:14:19,700 --> 01:14:23,620 Gee, Adlai, those boll weevil fundraisers haven't been the same without you. 1415 01:14:23,620 --> 01:14:26,070 And there's one other thing I miss, too, 1416 01:14:26,070 --> 01:14:30,080 and now I know you can't be giving up a day of homework for a day of passion. 1417 01:14:35,420 --> 01:14:36,260 Claire? 1418 01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:40,580 Wrong movie, Toxie. 1419 01:14:40,580 --> 01:14:41,380 Where were we? 1420 01:14:41,380 --> 01:14:43,720 Trish had mistaken my twin, Dick, for me 1421 01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:46,550 and was so upset about the bruises on my twin's face 1422 01:14:46,550 --> 01:14:50,970 that she did what came naturally and comforted him the only way she knew how. 1423 01:14:55,260 --> 01:14:58,880 I've already lobotomized your twin brother. 1424 01:14:58,880 --> 01:15:03,240 Perhaps I might have to do the same with you. 1425 01:15:03,240 --> 01:15:08,220 Of course, we could always torture your girlfriend in front of you. 1426 01:15:08,220 --> 01:15:11,140 That usually seems to work in cases like this. 1427 01:15:11,140 --> 01:15:13,600 I don't have a twin, and leave Trish out of this! 1428 01:15:13,600 --> 01:15:16,930 Of course, I will try to leave her out of this. 1429 01:15:16,930 --> 01:15:21,220 We just have to figure a way to leave your twin out of her. 1430 01:15:21,220 --> 01:15:22,980 What do you mean? 1431 01:15:22,980 --> 01:15:23,790 Take a look. 1432 01:15:29,050 --> 01:15:32,620 And now, live from Trish's sweat stained bed sheets, 1433 01:15:32,620 --> 01:15:35,460 we bring you Trish herself and your very own twin, Dick. 1434 01:15:41,460 --> 01:15:42,960 You're being so rough. 1435 01:15:42,960 --> 01:15:45,460 I've never known you to be like this. 1436 01:15:45,460 --> 01:15:46,960 You bring out the beast in me. 1437 01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:47,680 Adlai! 1438 01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:52,360 I never felt this way before. 1439 01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:54,050 Oh my god, it is true. 1440 01:15:57,730 --> 01:16:02,180 Remember, this is live. 1441 01:16:02,180 --> 01:16:03,840 Oh, yeah! 1442 01:16:09,450 --> 01:16:11,500 I love this show. 1443 01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:14,320 I'm gonna get you for this. 1444 01:16:15,910 --> 01:16:19,300 The nicest boy in the world is getting a bit testy. 1445 01:16:19,300 --> 01:16:21,520 I had to resort to drastic measures. 1446 01:16:21,520 --> 01:16:24,950 As much as I hated to do it and had avoided it for seven reels, 1447 01:16:24,950 --> 01:16:28,710 I decided that now after 45 minutes of not doing it at all... 1448 01:16:28,710 --> 01:16:30,140 What... what... what's that you're doing. 1449 01:16:30,140 --> 01:16:31,470 I would use my brain. 1450 01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:44,180 I must get this message across to Dick from my brain to his brain. 1451 01:16:44,180 --> 01:16:45,150 Oh, Adlai! 1452 01:16:46,290 --> 01:16:47,090 Yes! 1453 01:16:48,060 --> 01:16:48,860 Adlai! 1454 01:16:51,230 --> 01:16:54,750 Dick was slow to react since his bodily functions were already engaged, 1455 01:16:54,750 --> 01:16:59,260 but I got the message out through his hand. 1456 01:16:59,260 --> 01:17:01,790 Now our brains and bodies were one. 1457 01:17:09,250 --> 01:17:10,240 I'm not Adlai! 1458 01:17:13,240 --> 01:17:14,860 I'm not Adlai! 1459 01:17:14,860 --> 01:17:17,220 I'm a slave of Dr. Slag PhD! 1460 01:17:17,220 --> 01:17:18,020 Oh, shit! 1461 01:17:21,210 --> 01:17:24,700 Pull out, Dick! 1462 01:17:24,700 --> 01:17:26,190 I'm not Adlai. 1463 01:17:26,190 --> 01:17:27,890 Slag has Adlai. 1464 01:17:27,890 --> 01:17:30,710 Slag's turning Tromaville into a radioactive stockpile. 1465 01:17:30,710 --> 01:17:32,390 Disregard anything he says, ma'am. 1466 01:17:32,390 --> 01:17:33,460 He's mad. 1467 01:17:33,460 --> 01:17:34,920 Who are you? 1468 01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:40,040 Special security, ma'am, hired by the mayor himself. 1469 01:17:40,040 --> 01:17:44,300 This man is not allowed outside our custody until his arraignment. 1470 01:17:44,300 --> 01:17:47,620 However, he snuck away to see you. 1471 01:17:47,620 --> 01:17:49,920 Now don't tell anyone about this. 1472 01:17:49,920 --> 01:17:53,400 We regret any inconvenience this may have caused you. 1473 01:17:53,400 --> 01:17:54,400 Wait a minute! 1474 01:17:54,400 --> 01:17:55,960 What does he mean he's not Adlai? 1475 01:18:02,250 --> 01:18:04,700 Trish decided to call my dad, the mayor, 1476 01:18:04,700 --> 01:18:07,600 and even though dad loved me, he had a good sense of priorities 1477 01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:09,410 and still wouldn't risk his reputation to help me. 1478 01:18:09,410 --> 01:18:10,210 Hello? 1479 01:18:10,210 --> 01:18:11,080 Mayor Roger Smith, please. 1480 01:18:11,080 --> 01:18:14,030 However, he would tell Trish what to do. 1481 01:18:14,030 --> 01:18:15,920 Meanwhile, the force of combining my brain 1482 01:18:15,920 --> 01:18:19,620 with Dick's knocked out all the power in the hideout and me along with it. 1483 01:18:19,620 --> 01:18:23,290 The only thing I remembered was a dull throbbing between my legs. 1484 01:18:23,290 --> 01:18:25,050 Something's gone wrong. 1485 01:18:25,050 --> 01:18:29,710 I didn't count on this idiot being able to control his brother's functions. 1486 01:18:29,710 --> 01:18:34,980 I should've never left this damn project in control of those scientists. 1487 01:18:34,980 --> 01:18:37,130 It's too late anyway. 1488 01:18:37,130 --> 01:18:41,180 The Nuke-A-Mama Corporation shall get their wish, 1489 01:18:41,180 --> 01:18:46,490 and I shall become supreme ruler. 1490 01:18:46,490 --> 01:18:49,700 My dad, the mayor, told Trish to do what comes naturally 1491 01:18:49,700 --> 01:18:53,390 and rally the good students of Tromaville to tell them about Slag and Holt. 1492 01:18:55,420 --> 01:18:56,710 So off Trish went, 1493 01:18:56,710 --> 01:18:58,440 although due to mid-terms, spring break, 1494 01:18:58,440 --> 01:19:02,340 and a Screen Actors Guild strike, the crowd was small. 1495 01:19:02,340 --> 01:19:04,720 Everyone, listen to me. 1496 01:19:04,720 --> 01:19:08,730 I have proof here that Adlai isn't the Jekyll and Hyde of Tromaville. 1497 01:19:08,730 --> 01:19:09,650 No. 1498 01:19:09,650 --> 01:19:10,450 No. 1499 01:19:10,450 --> 01:19:11,500 Come on. 1500 01:19:11,500 --> 01:19:17,700 Look, a note written to me by Adlai through the hands of his evil twin. 1501 01:19:17,700 --> 01:19:18,450 No. 1502 01:19:19,320 --> 01:19:23,400 An evil man named Slag and... and a Professor Holt who smokes 1503 01:19:23,400 --> 01:19:25,720 cigars has Adlai imprisoned. 1504 01:19:25,720 --> 01:19:30,610 He commanded his twin to destroy Adlai's reputation. 1505 01:19:30,610 --> 01:19:33,910 If we don't stop Slag now, he's gonna turn this whole town 1506 01:19:33,910 --> 01:19:34,980 into a radioactive stockpile. 1507 01:19:34,980 --> 01:19:36,880 Yeah, this Trish is a liar. 1508 01:19:36,880 --> 01:19:37,680 No! 1509 01:19:37,680 --> 01:19:41,160 You saw what her boyfriend tried to do to our friends. 1510 01:19:41,160 --> 01:19:44,150 He pretended he was a hero and then terrorized us all instead. 1511 01:19:44,150 --> 01:19:49,610 Come on, let's grab her and find out what she's really after. 1512 01:20:04,030 --> 01:20:07,640 Good citizens of Tromaville, make way. 1513 01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:09,220 Make way. 1514 01:20:09,220 --> 01:20:12,440 This is Mayor Smith speaking. 1515 01:20:12,440 --> 01:20:14,700 Now, you've all heard the stories of how I love 1516 01:20:14,700 --> 01:20:17,490 Tromaville, and you've all heard the stories of how 1517 01:20:17,490 --> 01:20:20,390 I had to try and save this very school from certain destruction 1518 01:20:20,390 --> 01:20:22,650 just a few short years ago. 1519 01:20:22,650 --> 01:20:27,000 Well, I wouldn't lie to you even to save the life of my own son, 1520 01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:30,730 because that's how much I love this city and all of you. 1521 01:20:30,730 --> 01:20:34,740 So you have to believe me when I say that this young woman speaks the truth. 1522 01:20:38,420 --> 01:20:40,170 And if you don't believe me, I brought 1523 01:20:40,170 --> 01:20:44,150 along a nurse from the hospital where Adlai was born. 1524 01:20:44,150 --> 01:20:45,310 Yes, it is true. 1525 01:20:45,310 --> 01:20:48,550 I have the medical records here from two years ago when Adlai was born. 1526 01:20:48,550 --> 01:20:51,710 Here, I'll pass them around for you all to see. 1527 01:20:51,710 --> 01:20:52,990 It's true. 1528 01:20:52,990 --> 01:20:57,380 Before Adlai was born, Adlai's mother weighed 140 pounds. 1529 01:20:57,380 --> 01:21:00,770 After Adlai was born, she weighed 100 pounds. 1530 01:21:00,770 --> 01:21:05,730 Now, Adlai weighed 20 pounds at birth, so that leaves 20 pounds unaccounted for. 1531 01:21:05,730 --> 01:21:08,930 Now, the only logical conclusion is that Adlai's mother gave 1532 01:21:08,930 --> 01:21:15,220 birth to twins, and one of them was stolen and brought up to be an evil killer. 1533 01:21:15,220 --> 01:21:16,820 She's right! 1534 01:21:16,820 --> 01:21:17,620 Yeah! 1535 01:21:25,590 --> 01:21:28,030 They're the ones that kidnapped Adlai! 1536 01:21:28,030 --> 01:21:29,880 Yeah! 1537 01:21:29,880 --> 01:21:31,550 They're the ones that kidnapped Adlai! 1538 01:21:31,550 --> 01:21:32,350 Yeah! 1539 01:21:32,350 --> 01:21:33,160 Let's go save Adlai! 1540 01:21:33,160 --> 01:21:34,120 Yeah! 1541 01:21:34,120 --> 01:21:37,500 Wait a minute, those people are professional killers. 1542 01:21:37,500 --> 01:21:39,920 You can't go after them unprotected. 1543 01:21:39,920 --> 01:21:42,150 Why don't you lead us into battle. 1544 01:21:42,150 --> 01:21:43,180 You've done it before. 1545 01:21:43,180 --> 01:21:43,980 Yeah! 1546 01:21:43,980 --> 01:21:48,920 No, sadly, after my wife, Victoria, died giving birth, 1547 01:21:48,920 --> 01:21:51,570 I took a vow since that day two years ago. 1548 01:21:51,570 --> 01:21:55,690 Never ever to take another human life no matter how worthless and evil. 1549 01:21:58,150 --> 01:22:00,790 But I'll give you some pointers on how to do it. 1550 01:22:06,140 --> 01:22:09,950 Here beneath the department, the deepest 1551 01:22:09,950 --> 01:22:15,410 underground point in Tromaville, is where we will make our demands. 1552 01:22:15,410 --> 01:22:20,000 If they are not met, we will take you and your twin 1553 01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:23,640 and turn the bedrock under Tromaville into a nuclear furnace. 1554 01:22:23,640 --> 01:22:25,210 It's all just theory, Slag. 1555 01:22:25,210 --> 01:22:26,760 It may never even work. 1556 01:22:26,760 --> 01:22:31,300 Well, then there now, we'll just have to put our three 1557 01:22:31,300 --> 01:22:33,600 to the test, won't we? 1558 01:22:33,600 --> 01:22:35,120 Bring in Dick. 1559 01:23:09,440 --> 01:23:11,400 So there really was a part of me out there. 1560 01:23:21,110 --> 01:23:25,240 Anyone who has a brother knows the emotion, the incredible joy 1561 01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:27,710 that welled up in my heart. 1562 01:23:27,710 --> 01:23:29,970 So there really was a part of me out there. 1563 01:23:29,970 --> 01:23:31,300 Everyone in the room, 1564 01:23:31,300 --> 01:23:34,620 even though they were bad, was overcome by the moment, 1565 01:23:34,620 --> 01:23:38,450 and I still couldn't help feeling love, even though 1566 01:23:38,450 --> 01:23:41,790 all I knew and loved was about to become a nuclear nugget. 1567 01:23:41,790 --> 01:23:44,050 All right, family reunion's over. 1568 01:23:50,760 --> 01:23:52,840 I want you two to grab that croissant 1569 01:23:52,840 --> 01:23:55,100 and meld your powers to turn it into the biggest 1570 01:23:55,100 --> 01:23:57,100 piece of plutonium Tromaville's ever seen. 1571 01:24:01,630 --> 01:24:03,900 You'll never get me to do it. 1572 01:24:03,900 --> 01:24:05,400 Oh, except that way. 1573 01:24:08,900 --> 01:24:09,790 Oh, well, didn't work. 1574 01:24:09,790 --> 01:24:11,400 What a damn shame. 1575 01:24:11,400 --> 01:24:13,280 Other hand, Adlai. 1576 01:24:13,280 --> 01:24:14,560 Use your other hand. 1577 01:24:46,870 --> 01:24:50,840 My god, it works! 1578 01:24:50,840 --> 01:24:58,300 With this at my fingertips I can rule everything! 1579 01:24:58,300 --> 01:24:59,290 Yeah! 1580 01:25:05,250 --> 01:25:06,250 Run away! 1581 01:25:06,250 --> 01:25:08,240 Run away! 1582 01:25:08,240 --> 01:25:11,710 Dad did not want to get violent because he was a committed pacifist. 1583 01:25:11,710 --> 01:25:15,340 Oh, I think I doodied my pants. 1584 01:25:15,340 --> 01:25:17,170 And he didn't want to get his rented tux dirty, 1585 01:25:17,170 --> 01:25:20,510 so he honored his pledge not to take any life 1586 01:25:20,510 --> 01:25:24,530 and kept his violence to a PG 13 level. 1587 01:25:24,530 --> 01:25:27,690 Looks like you underestimated the good people of Tromaville. 1588 01:25:27,690 --> 01:25:29,230 They're coming to get you now. 1589 01:25:29,230 --> 01:25:31,240 Don't kid yourself. 1590 01:25:31,240 --> 01:25:34,980 Squirrels, get out there and stop these friends of Adlai's. 1591 01:25:34,980 --> 01:25:35,970 Yeah! 1592 01:25:36,960 --> 01:25:38,940 Yeah, let's go! 1593 01:25:49,310 --> 01:25:54,750 The Nuke-A-Mama corporate gang and their vicious clone warriors seemed invincible, 1594 01:25:54,750 --> 01:25:57,780 but when the good people of Tromaville worked together, 1595 01:25:57,780 --> 01:26:00,180 they could do anything. 1596 01:26:00,180 --> 01:26:02,850 They did what came naturally and went after the wolf dog clone 1597 01:26:02,850 --> 01:26:07,370 with rolled up newspapers and discovered this was a clone's one fatal weakness. 1598 01:26:08,170 --> 01:26:11,550 The rest of the clones were quickly polished off in this manner. 1599 01:26:26,490 --> 01:26:27,490 Yeah! 1600 01:26:27,490 --> 01:26:29,480 Yeah, people of Tromaville! 1601 01:26:30,480 --> 01:26:31,970 Adlai! 1602 01:26:31,970 --> 01:26:33,490 Adlai! 1603 01:26:33,490 --> 01:26:35,050 Adlai! 1604 01:26:35,050 --> 01:26:36,540 Adlai! 1605 01:26:36,540 --> 01:26:37,530 We're winning! 1606 01:26:37,530 --> 01:26:38,520 Don't worry! 1607 01:26:38,520 --> 01:26:40,000 We're winning! 1608 01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:42,780 Stop right there, young lady. 1609 01:26:42,780 --> 01:26:44,390 Thanks for the update on the action upstairs. 1610 01:26:48,060 --> 01:26:51,360 Looks like we have no other choice but to take Tromaville 1611 01:26:51,360 --> 01:26:54,090 and the world down with us. 1612 01:26:54,090 --> 01:26:57,400 Dick, let's see your best. 1613 01:26:57,400 --> 01:27:01,630 Combine your power with Adlai's and turn Tromaville into a nuclear stockpile. 1614 01:27:01,630 --> 01:27:02,430 No way. 1615 01:27:02,430 --> 01:27:04,070 I won't do it. 1616 01:27:04,070 --> 01:27:05,890 OK, then. 1617 01:27:05,890 --> 01:27:07,560 I guess I get to shoot you. 1618 01:27:14,010 --> 01:27:16,490 Dick, stop Slag! 1619 01:27:16,490 --> 01:27:17,490 Adlai's your brother! 1620 01:27:22,190 --> 01:27:23,070 Are you nuts? 1621 01:27:23,070 --> 01:27:25,180 Stay away from my brother. 1622 01:27:25,180 --> 01:27:26,520 I trained you, you idiot! 1623 01:27:26,520 --> 01:27:27,870 You can't beat me! 1624 01:27:45,800 --> 01:27:46,790 Nice hair. 1625 01:27:51,770 --> 01:27:53,760 Oh god! 1626 01:27:56,750 --> 01:27:59,240 Get off me, you little slut! 1627 01:27:59,240 --> 01:28:03,900 Get your melon heavy breasts off the honorable Dr. Slag PhD, 1628 01:28:03,900 --> 01:28:06,930 or else I'm gonna shoot you in the ass. 1629 01:28:09,380 --> 01:28:10,180 My eye! 1630 01:28:10,180 --> 01:28:11,660 Not my eye! 1631 01:28:11,660 --> 01:28:12,640 You idiot! 1632 01:28:12,640 --> 01:28:14,250 You hit my eye! 1633 01:28:14,250 --> 01:28:16,810 Oh, so sorry, Dr. Slag honorable PhD. 1634 01:28:24,590 --> 01:28:26,030 I'll get you help. 1635 01:28:28,950 --> 01:28:33,270 Not until Tromaville is nothing but a nuclear stockpile. 1636 01:28:33,270 --> 01:28:41,150 Now, guys, let's do it or I kill the girl. 1637 01:28:41,150 --> 01:28:42,130 Oh, please. 1638 01:28:42,130 --> 01:28:42,930 Please! 1639 01:29:02,350 --> 01:29:05,800 Dick and I decided to do what came naturally. 1640 01:29:05,800 --> 01:29:07,550 Our subhumanoid instincts took over 1641 01:29:07,550 --> 01:29:10,110 and caused us to arm wrestle, which, of course, 1642 01:29:10,110 --> 01:29:11,970 led to us melting down. 1643 01:29:15,210 --> 01:29:19,180 Dick, is it my imagination, or are you beginning to deteriorate? 1644 01:29:19,180 --> 01:29:21,250 Well Adlai, I hate to tell you this, 1645 01:29:21,250 --> 01:29:23,310 but, you're looking a little grim there yourself. 1646 01:30:30,720 --> 01:30:34,500 Even though we loved each other as brothers, the power made us merge 1647 01:30:34,500 --> 01:30:37,940 ourselves back into a primordial egg surrounded by green goo. 1648 01:30:40,830 --> 01:30:44,170 Crazy, man. 1649 01:30:44,170 --> 01:30:47,530 Trish picked us up and did what came naturally. 1650 01:30:47,530 --> 01:30:52,690 She immediately took us to the nuclear reactor and tossed us in. 1651 01:30:52,690 --> 01:30:54,410 Careful on those stairs, Trish. 1652 01:30:54,410 --> 01:30:57,850 You don't want to drop us, do you? 1653 01:30:57,850 --> 01:31:01,230 Adlai, once we get into the nuclear reactor, what do we do? 1654 01:31:01,230 --> 01:31:03,150 I don't know, Dick, but could you move over? 1655 01:31:03,150 --> 01:31:05,130 Your foot's in my mouth. 1656 01:31:14,540 --> 01:31:15,430 Oy vey. 1657 01:31:25,660 --> 01:31:27,510 It's crowded in here. 1658 01:31:27,510 --> 01:31:30,410 We're melting! 1659 01:31:30,410 --> 01:31:32,240 It's only a movie. 1660 01:31:36,240 --> 01:31:38,230 Something is coming out! 1661 01:31:38,230 --> 01:31:41,920 What is it, a loaf of bread? 1662 01:31:41,920 --> 01:31:42,720 No! 1663 01:31:46,200 --> 01:31:49,190 It's a baby! 1664 01:31:49,190 --> 01:31:50,680 Have a stogie, old bogie. 1665 01:31:53,670 --> 01:31:56,140 Hi, my name is Moishe Smith. 1666 01:31:56,140 --> 01:31:58,640 I am a fourth generation subhumanoid. 1667 01:31:58,640 --> 01:32:00,330 I was created because Adlai Smith 1668 01:32:00,330 --> 01:32:03,040 and his twin brother, Dick, merged their powers together 1669 01:32:03,040 --> 01:32:06,290 and melted down in a primordial egg surrounded by green goo 1670 01:32:06,290 --> 01:32:08,800 in order to save the good people of Tromaville. 1671 01:32:08,800 --> 01:32:10,420 I was also created because talking 1672 01:32:10,420 --> 01:32:12,850 babies have proven to be quite profitable for movies recently. 1673 01:32:15,560 --> 01:32:17,820 I am proud that my sons Dick and Adlai had 1674 01:32:17,820 --> 01:32:21,990 the courage to melt down into a primordial egg surrounded by green goo. 1675 01:32:21,990 --> 01:32:25,040 The evil Dr. Slag PhD has been killed. 1676 01:32:25,040 --> 01:32:27,600 The Nuke-A-Mama corporate powers are defeated, 1677 01:32:27,600 --> 01:32:31,020 and the power is permanently on with low cost, clean, 1678 01:32:31,020 --> 01:32:33,850 eficient, and properly supervised energy. 1679 01:32:33,850 --> 01:32:37,680 So in recognition of outstanding devotion 1680 01:32:37,680 --> 01:32:41,880 to the town of Tromaville, I hereby dedicate this memorial 1681 01:32:41,880 --> 01:32:44,020 to my sons, Dick and Adlai. 1682 01:32:44,020 --> 01:32:45,520 Yeah! 1683 01:32:47,010 --> 01:32:50,470 Hey, those are nice. 1684 01:32:50,470 --> 01:32:53,340 Where's the baby you pulled out of the nuclear core? 1685 01:32:53,340 --> 01:32:54,140 Here he is. 1686 01:32:54,140 --> 01:32:56,800 We had a tough time getting all of that green crap off of him, 1687 01:32:56,800 --> 01:33:01,170 but a little sandpaper and a dip in Clorox did the trick. 1688 01:33:01,170 --> 01:33:03,610 Oh, that is the cutest baby. 1689 01:33:03,610 --> 01:33:05,560 What a pretty baby. 1690 01:33:05,560 --> 01:33:07,040 Just like his daddy. 1691 01:33:07,040 --> 01:33:10,740 In tribute to Dick and Adlai and how they saved the people 1692 01:33:10,740 --> 01:33:13,554 of Tromaville, I hereby dedicate this memorial 1693 01:33:13,566 --> 01:33:15,850 to all the good people of Tromaville. 1694 01:33:15,850 --> 01:33:17,020 Isn't that nice? 1695 01:33:17,020 --> 01:33:18,790 - Oh, I'm so very proud. - Delightful. 1696 01:33:19,640 --> 01:33:22,810 Entitled two free spirits, this monument 1697 01:33:22,810 --> 01:33:26,500 reminds us of how the Tromaville twins enhanced our freedom 1698 01:33:26,500 --> 01:33:29,670 and our lives, and of how cheap Tromaville is 1699 01:33:29,670 --> 01:33:33,670 for not affording a statue that even remotely resembles the damn twins. 1700 01:33:33,670 --> 01:33:35,320 Oh, that's a terrible, terrible thing. 1701 01:33:35,320 --> 01:33:36,750 They tried to save money. 1702 01:33:36,750 --> 01:33:40,310 But this baby represents a new beginning, a new beginning 1703 01:33:40,310 --> 01:33:43,500 for us all, for you and for me. 1704 01:33:43,500 --> 01:33:47,620 This is a rebirth, a fresh start for all mankind. 1705 01:33:47,620 --> 01:33:49,080 This is my child. 1706 01:33:49,080 --> 01:33:50,580 This is your child. 1707 01:33:50,580 --> 01:33:52,820 This is a child of the universe. 1708 01:33:52,820 --> 01:33:56,880 And as such, this infant represents the future, 1709 01:33:56,880 --> 01:34:00,440 so of course, we must nurture it and permit it to grow. 1710 01:34:00,440 --> 01:34:04,780 And most importantly this baby represents Troma, movies 1711 01:34:04,780 --> 01:34:08,920 of the future, so of course, we must love it, teach it, 1712 01:34:08,920 --> 01:34:11,330 and indeed breast feed it. 1713 01:34:18,290 --> 01:34:20,600 So Adlai and Dick did not die. 1714 01:34:20,600 --> 01:34:22,020 They were reborn. 1715 01:34:22,020 --> 01:34:24,820 This is a Troma movie, so dry those eyes 1716 01:34:24,820 --> 01:34:28,360 and rejoice, because now there's "Class of Nuke 'Em High Part 4." 1717 01:34:31,260 --> 01:34:32,380 Oh boy, part four. 1718 01:34:32,380 --> 01:34:33,180 That's great. 1719 01:34:34,150 --> 01:34:36,090 That's great. 1720 01:34:36,090 --> 01:34:39,150 Excuse me, do you know where the end credits are. 1721 01:34:39,150 --> 01:34:41,700 Could you direct me to the... oh! 1722 01:34:41,700 --> 01:34:43,500 Oh, why'd you do that? 1723 01:37:13,000 --> 01:37:15,960 Due to the recent economic difficulties facing 1724 01:37:15,960 --> 01:37:18,280 small independent film companies, 1725 01:37:18,280 --> 01:37:20,470 the producers of this motion picture 1726 01:37:20,470 --> 01:37:26,240 have been forced to sell classified advertising space in these end credits. 1727 01:37:26,240 --> 01:37:31,680 We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. 1728 01:37:31,680 --> 01:37:34,070 If you would like to find out how you can advertise 1729 01:37:34,070 --> 01:37:35,630 in the end credits of a Troma movie, 1730 01:37:35,630 --> 01:37:37,670 please send a stamped self addressed envelope 1731 01:37:37,670 --> 01:37:40,642 to Tromaville studios, Tromaville, New Jersey, 1732 01:37:40,654 --> 01:37:43,130 or contact your local congress person. 1733 01:37:43,130 --> 01:37:46,630 Thank you for your patronage and have a nice day.