1
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,850
Here's a question for you.
2
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:56,850
What do kids need more?
A father or a dad?
3
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:57,731
What's the difference?
4
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,566
The way I see it, darn near
anyone can be a father...
5
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,365
but not everyone has the patience
or the devotion to be a dad.
6
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:05,721
As for me...
7
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,400
Anybody caught a Monarch yet?
8
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,924
I've always wanted to be a dad.
9
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,571
Let me tell you, I love it!
10
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:12,641
Yeah!
11
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And I love my Ford Flex.
12
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It treats me to a smooth ride,
and you know what?
13
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,686
It didn't break the bank.
14
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,202
Room enough for the whole family.
15
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Yes, I love being a dad.
16
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:29,410
And I love these two adorable
little rays of sunshine.
17
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,490
Hey, Dylan! Good morning.
18
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Whatever.
19
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,767
Okay. I'm not their real dad.
20
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:38,526
Good morning, Mr. Whitaker.
21
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,728
- I'm their stepdad.
- Good morning, Megan.
22
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,484
Can you please put this on the fridge?
23
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,680
Well, sure. Did you do
another drawing of our family?
24
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,246
- Uh-huh.
- Huh?
25
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,483
That's me and Dylan and Mommy.
26
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So great.
27
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,769
And over here, far, far away,
28
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is you.
29
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,204
Oh? And am I wearing a baseball cap?
30
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,888
That's the knife in your head
'cause I was killing you in the eye.
31
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:05,681
Oh, I see.
32
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,364
Well, I love how you drew my hair.
33
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,201
That's poop.
34
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,565
Well, it's well-drawn.
And I'm guessing it's dog poop?
35
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,330
That's homeless man poop.
36
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,401
Oh.
37
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:17,641
All right.
38
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,762
I actually can't
father my own children,
39
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,525
ever since I hit a little
snafu at a dental office.
40
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,121
I've got
a little bit of a gag reflex.
41
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,900
Uh, close your eyes, breathe through
your nose, you'll be fine.
42
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:29,241
Oh. Okay.
43
00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,570
Oh, you got a really weird tongue.
You need to floss better.
44
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,370
Ever since then,
my testicles have been
45
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,900
more decorative than anything else.
46
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,207
Hey!
47
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,442
And I thought I'd never have a family.
48
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,300
Until I met a stunning mom named Sara.
49
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:52,445
Would you look at her?
50
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,843
I am one lucky so-and-so.
I hit the jackpot.
51
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,161
- Hi.
- Hi.
52
00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,930
Sorry I'm taking so long.
53
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,401
I have to show that Sixty West
building to those new clients.
54
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,481
I know.
55
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,245
- Oh, my God! The kids' lunches.
- Already packed. I wrote them
56
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,687
little inspirational notes
to start them on their day.
57
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,240
They've already eaten their breakfasts,
and you look perfect.
58
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,900
You are amazing.
59
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,966
Look at this, huh?
Another family drawing.
60
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,880
Oh, no. I am so sorry.
61
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,766
No, I think you're misunderstanding.
This is the first drawing
62
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,922
where I'm not dead already.
63
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,409
Sure, I've got a knife in my eye
64
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,209
and some homeless man
poop on my head,
65
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:30,651
but this is
showing real progress.
66
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,643
I think she's starting to accept me.
67
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:34,762
You can find the good
in just about anything.
68
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,810
I love that about you. You know that?
69
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:38,566
Thanks.
70
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,800
Hello. I'm home.
71
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,361
Hey.
72
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,131
How was the, uh...
73
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,641
What's wrong?
74
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,100
He won't talk to me.
He said he only wants to talk to you.
75
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,647
You want to talk to me?
76
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,210
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
77
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,440
- You mean me and your mom?
- Mmm-mmm.
78
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,849
- Just me? By myself?
- Mmm-hmm.
79
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,410
Sure. I'm...
80
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,130
I'm totally free. Let's go to the den.
We'll sit there.
81
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,561
We'll sit.
We can do it sitting or standing?
82
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,844
Doesn't matter. We're just gonna do it.
83
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,891
We're not gonna overthink it.
Yeah. Great. Okay, good.
84
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:04,400
Just the men, yeah.
A little rap session. Great.
85
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:05,841
On, my God.
86
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,300
I just want you to know that
I'm just here to listen. All right?
87
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:15,460
No judgments, no lectures,
just a compassionate ear.
88
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,247
- Well, there are these kids at school...
- Mmm-hmm.
89
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,482
And they're bigger than me,
because they're fourth graders.
90
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,403
And...
91
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:25,885
Oh, was that weird?
92
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:27,851
I'm sorry, I'm just...
93
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,409
It's a big moment for me,
and I'm just trying to capture it.
94
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,845
It just came off awkward.
95
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,887
So, go ahead, continue telling
your story. Fourth graders.
96
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,122
Anyway, there are
these fourth graders, and...
97
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:40,924
He actually confided in me.
98
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,283
I mean, it was that father-son feeling
I've been dying for,
99
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,450
and it was even better than
I thought it was gonna be.
100
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,171
I mean, he really needed me. Me.
101
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,446
That is so great, honey.
102
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:52,806
He even said not to tell you.
103
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:56,521
So I'm actually totally betraying
his trust right now.
104
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,807
What are we gonna do about
those little snot-nosed fourth graders?
105
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,365
Oh, I think it's going to be fine.
106
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,967
He's going to try to do some
trust falls on the playground.
107
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,606
Really? You think that's gonna work?
108
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,888
As long as they catch him. Yeah.
109
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,100
Hey, Brad.
110
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,441
Yeah?
111
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,683
If I ask you something, you
promise you won't cry again?
112
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,525
Of course, sweetie. What is it?
113
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,285
Well, at school,
they told us about this thing,
114
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,124
and it's called a Daddy-Daughter Dance.
115
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,770
So, do you want to go with me?
116
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,930
You said you wouldn't cry, Brad.
117
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,846
I'm not. Megan, yes. A million times yes.
118
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,830
I thought big people
weren't supposed to cry.
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00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,925
I think it's sweet that he's
crying like a little bitch.
120
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,326
Megan!
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00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,209
You are not supposed
to call people that word.
122
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,524
You know what? It takes a real
man to show his emotions.
123
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,205
All right, that's a bit much.
124
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,887
No more rhymes now, I mean it!
125
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,400
Anybody want a peanut?
126
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,450
We were finally
becoming a family.
127
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,601
I'll get it!
128
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,524
After being pushed away
and treated like an outsider,
129
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,291
I was finally becoming
the dad that I always knew I could...
130
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,527
Daddy!
131
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,247
Hi! Where are you?
132
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,510
Where's Cameroon?
133
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,202
Is that gunfire? Cool!
134
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,528
Daddy, Daddy!
I want to talk to Daddy.
135
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:16,721
Hi, Daddy.
136
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,410
Good.
137
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,830
- So your ex is calling, huh?
- Yeah.
138
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,100
What a treat for the kids.
It's been a long time.
139
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:24,206
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
140
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,404
We're watching a really funny
movie with Mommy and Brad.
141
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,530
Oh, Brad is Mommy's new husband.
142
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,570
Wait. He doesn't know about me?
143
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,400
Well, I haven't talked to him
in six months.
144
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,000
We've been married eight months.
145
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,849
Brad, Daddy wants to talk to you.
146
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,320
- No! No, no. Don't, don't...
- I'm just going to say hi.
147
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,920
You don't need to do that. Brad, don't.
148
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,724
Thank you, sweetie.
149
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,766
Hello, Dusty?
Super to make your acquaintance.
150
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,324
In fact, I just wish
I could shake your hand
151
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,562
and offer to buy you a cold one.
152
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,651
- Tomorrow?
- What?
153
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,848
Daddy's coming! Yay!
154
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,850
Oh, yeah, I guess I could pick you up.
155
00:07:58,520 --> 00:07:59,601
- No.
- Hmm?
156
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,810
It's Whitaker.
157
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:05,968
W-H-I-T-A-K-E-R.
158
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,521
No, I'm not comfortable giving you
159
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,200
my Social Security number
over the phone.
160
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,481
Uh, okay, yeah, my credit score is 752.
161
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:14,721
I'm very proud of that.
162
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,247
I'm sorry? What sort of fighting styles
am I proficient in?
163
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:20,570
I don't know if I've ever been
asked that before.
164
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,700
Hello, Dusty, hello, hello? Hmm...
165
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,486
I lost him.
166
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,000
What just happened?
Did you just invite him to come here?
167
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,610
Is he coming tomorrow?
168
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,405
Well, I didn't know
he'd accept my offer so soon.
169
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,369
I mean, he really jumped at it.
170
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,920
Remember when I said
he was like Jesse James
171
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,411
and Mick Jagger had a baby?
172
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,768
Yeah, I just thought maybe
he was really skinny and
173
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,606
jittery, and had like a little bit
of a British accent, or something.
174
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,251
He's wild and he's crazy.
That's why I fell in love with him.
175
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,646
Then you end up with two kids.
176
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,291
And I'm stuck there holding the bag and
he's nowhere to be found.
177
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,203
It doesn't matter how much
love or passion,
178
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,645
or you can't breathe
without each other.
179
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,728
All of that stuff is stupid in comparison.
180
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,525
When you have kids,
you have responsibilities.
181
00:08:58,640 --> 00:08:59,721
He doesn't understand that.
182
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,644
Honey, this is actually a good thing.
183
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,370
I'll welcome Dusty into our home,
184
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,643
and we'll establish some kind
but firm boundaries.
185
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,804
All right? It's what Step-By-Stepdad
calls "setting up a Loving Fence."
186
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,725
A Loving Fence?
Wow, that sounds really great, honey.
187
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,725
But your self-help books
have never met Dusty Mayron.
188
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,405
He sounds like a rascal,
189
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,320
but I don't think
it's anything I can't handle.
190
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:26,641
Check. Check, check.
191
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,644
Chinese Checkers,
Czech, Czech Republic, pop,
192
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,830
sibilance, sibilance, pop,
one, two, six, seven,
193
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,163
check, check, check, check.
194
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,560
What do you got for me, Brad?
195
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:40,820
Oh, Mr. Holt, hello. Well, hopefully
the new voice of The Panda.
196
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,241
Oh, listen.
197
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,768
I gotta leave early today. I gotta go
pick up my wife's ex at the airport.
198
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,924
Jesus, kid, how'd you
draw that shit detail?
199
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,562
Brad, why do you want
this deadbeat in your home?
200
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,286
Well, it's not that
I want him in my home,
201
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,840
it's just that the better
step parenting books
202
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,207
say that the worst thing
you can do for the kids
203
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,123
is to push out the biological.
204
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,840
You're in the danger zone here,
Brad, and let me tell you why.
205
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,761
Kids that grow up without their dads
always end up obsessing over them.
206
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,766
Most of the hook-ups
that I've had in my adult life
207
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,683
have been with women
that had daddy issues.
208
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,600
I don't know if this is
an appropriate story.
209
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,842
Look, my wife would kill me
if she knew I was telling you this.
210
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,570
Well, then you shouldn't tell me this.
211
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:18,920
When I met her in Denver...
212
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,121
You're going to tell the story, aren't you?
213
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,804
She was a topless maid.
214
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,723
- Ninety-nine bucks an hour.
- Mmm-hmm.
215
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,963
Never met her father.
But who did she meet? Me.
216
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,443
And who did treat her like shit? Me.
217
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:31,806
I eventually loved her,
218
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,803
but every time she got out of line,
219
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,962
I'd just pull the Humvee over
220
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,565
and ask her to get out politely.
221
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,450
And then I'd drive away.
222
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:43,405
Guess what?
She showed up at home every time.
223
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,860
This story has no relevance
to my situation.
224
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,641
Oh, it doesn't at all.
It's just a good story.
225
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,720
So, Pete, are we going
to hear this guy, or what?
226
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,290
One-oh-three-point-six.
227
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,244
The Panda!
228
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,401
I'm sorry.
229
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,765
Keep it up, Brad.
You and I will fight in the parking lot.
230
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,160
So today is the day
231
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,242
I'm finally meeting
the father of my children.
232
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,251
Am I nervous? You're darn right I am.
233
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,910
But who wouldn't be?
234
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,603
And here's the thing.
I mean, Pepe, you know, kids...
235
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,809
they see through things and,
at the end of the day,
236
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,691
they know who's been around...
237
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,485
Holy balls!
238
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,966
I hope that's not him.
239
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,800
There is no doubt this man
is your better in every way.
240
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,642
Well, you're kind to say that. Thank you.
241
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,641
Yeah, I feel pretty good.
242
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,163
- Hey, you Dusty?
- Nope.
243
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,961
What?
244
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,365
Are you sure?
245
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,243
Are you Dusty... No, you're not Dusty.
246
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,323
You've got
Jason Sinclair on The Panda,
247
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,482
the station everybody
in the office can agree on.
248
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:22,761
What is this?
249
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:23,921
Now if you're up in Wolf Trap
this weekend,
250
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,490
do yourself a favor and check out...
251
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,527
Hey! Where have you been?
252
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,326
I called you like 100 times.
253
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,323
I know, my phone died. Look...
254
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,800
This motorcycle, is this...
255
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,161
Yes. He's here.
256
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,520
- He's here?
- Yes.
257
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,900
What's he doing inside there?
258
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,128
He's giving the kids
all kinds of Star bursts.
259
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,283
Star bursts? God damn it!
260
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,364
Sorry. Sorry.
261
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,841
I'm a hot habanero pepper right now.
262
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,930
I got a few bullet points I want to
bring up with our friend Dusty,
263
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,568
starting with airport etiquette,
courtesy and expectation.
264
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,125
Oh, good story, Daddy!
265
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,203
You like that story? It's all true. Hey!
266
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,441
Who wants some more Star bursts
267
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,460
and a couple of
uncirculated silver dollars?
268
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,611
So you are Dusty.
269
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,645
I sure am. You must be
the new and improved husband.
270
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,404
Bring it in, big guns.
271
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,500
I already met you at the airport.
272
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,440
No, I don't recall that, friend.
273
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,323
Yeah, I walked right up to you
and asked if you were Dusty.
274
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,761
I'm pretty sure I'd remember
a heavy hitter like yourself.
275
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:37,160
Well, must have been my mistake.
276
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,240
All right, that was me at the airport.
277
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,850
- Yeah, I know that.
- The truth is,
278
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,331
I saw you before you saw me,
279
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,681
and I'm thinking,
"This is the guy who's raising my kids?"
280
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,960
"And damn it if he doesn't
look like the real deal."
281
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,810
I mean, look at you.
282
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,650
You figured it out, didn't you?
283
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:50,846
You cracked the code.
284
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,320
I don't know about that.
285
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:53,920
Don't play that humble game with me.
286
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,120
He is so humble. He's just too humble.
287
00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,608
Honey, you got it goin' on.
Everybody says so.
288
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,603
Yeah, I got it goin' way on.
289
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,604
So you can understand
why I panicked at the airport.
290
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,810
- I froze, Brad. I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
291
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,202
Look, these are
tricky waters to navigate.
292
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,682
They sure are, man. I mean,
that is insightful.
293
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,521
You know, I thought it was weird Sara
didn't tell me about you before.
294
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,450
I thought, what's she hiding?
295
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,611
And now I know.
296
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:19,681
A champion.
297
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,125
Hey, Brad!
Did you see Dad's motorcycle?
298
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,601
Isn't it cool?
299
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:25,681
It sure is.
300
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,610
What is that, an Indian?
301
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,801
Yep.
302
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,646
I believe they're manufactured
in Minneapolis.
303
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,962
I've never been, but that's
304
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,680
the setting for
The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
305
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,486
And... What's the other... Rhoda.
306
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,962
Which I want to say was a spin-off.
307
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,440
Damn! You really know
your bikes, Brad. You ride?
308
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,121
Uh-huh. Yeah!
309
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,481
- Really?
- Yeah.
310
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,166
I mean, not anymore. I did, you know,
311
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,568
back in college. I had a, um...
312
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,166
I had a Kawa-saki? Kawasaki Nine.
313
00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,406
Yeah.
314
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:03,405
With the fenders and the...
The broil joint. So...
315
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,641
Well, you should get on her, man.
Come on!
316
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,120
Take her out, see what she can do.
317
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,160
She's got a lot of power.
318
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,361
Oh, no, no, no.
319
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,440
Yeah, Brad! Brad... Please!
320
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,202
No. Hey, come on, kids.
It's time for bed.
321
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,890
It's way past your bedtime.
Let's brush your teeth.
322
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,481
All right, come on, guys,
listen to your mom. Hey, look...
323
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,841
I don't want to overstep, but
324
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,244
it would mean the world to me if I could
tuck in our two little blessings.
325
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:27,563
Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course.
They're your kids. Tuck away.
326
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,364
Oh, thank you for that, Brad.
327
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,522
The King messed up.
He messed up bad.
328
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,286
He thought he could just
ride off to slay dragons,
329
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,840
and his Queen would always be
waiting for him.
330
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,963
And then one day
the King received word
331
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,883
that his dominion was being ruled over
332
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,202
by some curly-headed Step King
with good credit?
333
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,361
Oh, no!
334
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,124
Well, the King rode hard
up on his lands,
335
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,611
and when he arrived,
336
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,362
he did gaze fondly upon the Queen,
remembering their good times together,
337
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,324
for he had known her in her prime,
when she was down for anything,
338
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:58,845
and I do mean anything.
339
00:15:58,920 --> 00:15:59,921
Psst...
340
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,900
Sounds like your dad's spinning
quite a yarn. Mind if I listen in?
341
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,731
Oh, actually, it's getting late.
You two need to get some sack time.
342
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,723
No, we want more story, please!
343
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,646
Hey, I'd love to be in here all night,
but let's be respectful of Brad's rules,
344
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,722
no matter how arbitrary they seem.
All right?
345
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,162
Good night, my little golden treasures.
346
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,485
Good night, my little magical cherubs.
347
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,643
Here comes some butterfly kisses.
348
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,290
And some Eskimo kisses.
349
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,484
Good night, buddy.
Sleep tight. Sleep tight.
350
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,165
Hey, who wants good-night tickles?
351
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,605
Me!
352
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,808
Good night, my little breath of God.
353
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:36,845
Good night, my little Jesus teardrop.
354
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:40,845
I almost forgot, my famous
good-night back scratches.
355
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,200
Oh, so relaxing, so relaxing.
356
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,161
Good night, sweetie bear.
357
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,969
Hey, who wants twenty bucks?
358
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,724
- I do! Me!
- Twenty dollars?
359
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,404
- What?
- Oh, yeah.
360
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,562
One for you, and one for you.
361
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:52,687
I don't know if that's appropriate.
362
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:53,761
Ah, don't worry about it.
363
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:54,921
Okay. Good night.
364
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,923
So, uh, if you want to, why don't you
come by tomorrow after school?
365
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:01,127
Might be a good time to...
366
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,281
What about the cold one?
367
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,361
The cold one?
368
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,522
You promised me
a cold one and a handshake.
369
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,443
Cold one. One cold one, coming up.
370
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,204
Great. I'll grab my jacket,
we'll go outside.
371
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,520
Perfect. All right.
372
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,441
Hey! Psst...
373
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,285
What are you doing?
What are you guys buddies now?
374
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,886
No. I mean, I offered him a cold one.
375
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,122
I really should honor
the cold one promise.
376
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,842
Fine. You give him a cold one,
and then you get rid of him, okay?
377
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:25,167
You put up your Loving Fence,
378
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,241
- remember?
- Mmm-hmm.
379
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,400
- Then you come to bed.
- Okay.
380
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,121
- Will do.
- Okay.
381
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,405
What you got going on over here?
382
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:39,486
Oh, uh, that's a treehouse. A little, uh,
383
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,164
bonding project for Dylan and I.
384
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,721
Yeah, we've been at it
for about two months.
385
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,100
It's looking good.
386
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,161
Thank you.
387
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,371
So, Dusty, how long do you think
you're going to be in town for?
388
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,129
Well, Brad, the truth is,
I'm wheels-up a week from tomorrow.
389
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,441
Time to get out there and
kick some ass for America.
390
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,847
Oh, I see. So you're a soldier?
391
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,100
Nope.
392
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:03,401
Oh, so you're a, uh...
393
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,681
Yep.
394
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,605
Yep, what?
395
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,160
You don't want to know
any more than that, Brad.
396
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,601
Okay.
397
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:16,848
Um, listen, Dusty, I think that we should
set up a visitation schedule.
398
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,561
Right? That way, you feel like
you have ample time with the children...
399
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,210
Why don't we cut the shit, Brad?
400
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,682
No, we don't have to cut the shit.
401
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,680
You want to know what I'm doing here,
why don't you quit looking at
402
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,210
whatever you wrote on your hand?
403
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,364
Be a man and ask me, Brad.
404
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,887
Okay. What are you doing here?
405
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,522
Now, we both know kids need
a single primary male role model.
406
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,723
Sara's made her choice.
407
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,282
I'm man enough to
let that role model be you.
408
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,888
I will vouch for you with my children.
409
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,450
I will give them my sacred
permission to trust you.
410
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,891
To love you and to
411
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:54,411
call you Dad.
412
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:55,921
You'd do that for me?
413
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:57,810
No.
414
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,724
But I will do it for them.
415
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,602
That is what you want, isn't it, Brad?
416
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,122
More than anything in the world.
417
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,900
He played you.
You just got so played out there.
418
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,169
I know it looks that way,
419
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,163
'cause I promised
I would ask him to leave,
420
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,722
and then I invited him to stay for a week,
but he didn't play me.
421
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,201
You know what he did? He cut the shit.
422
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,400
- Oh, he did?
- And I gotta say,
423
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,645
it was refreshing.
424
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,880
I think more of us could stand
to just cut the shit, you know.
425
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,400
- Right.
- In one conversation,
426
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,601
he just blew by
eight chapters in my stepdad book.
427
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,100
I mean, this is gonna be so good
for me and the kids.
428
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,840
Oh, baby, you have no idea
who you're dancing with.
429
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,601
Dusty gets into your head,
430
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:38,761
that's what he does.
431
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,684
He has a very impressive,
rugged bravado,
432
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,843
there's no question. But I gotta say,
433
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:49,164
I think in here, there's
a soft, soft creamy center.
434
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,682
You know? I think he feels a lot.
435
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,923
He just... He needs
someone with this, a big ear.
436
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:56,610
And I got them. Mmm.
437
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,884
Oh, good morning, Dusty.
438
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,371
- Hey.
- You're up and at 'em.
439
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,521
Yeah, I got up early
440
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:06,721
- and did a quick 20.
- Really?
441
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,564
- Twenty minutes of what?
- Oh, twenty miles.
442
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,325
Did a little light sparring,
then I whipped up
443
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,320
a pan of piping-hot
cinnamon rolls for my family.
444
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:13,846
And I made one for you, too.
445
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:16,691
Wow. That's very impressive, thank you.
446
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,367
- Good morning, gang!
- Ooh, it smells yummy!
447
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,444
Our real dad's a super,
super-duper good cook!
448
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,850
- Mmm-hmm.
- Here you go, guys.
449
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,443
Yeah, it looks an awful lot
like Cinnabon.
450
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,443
Well, thank you, Brad.
What a nice thing to say.
451
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,364
Mmm, it tastes exactly like Cinnabon!
452
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,125
In fact, same shape,
same swirl, same frosting.
453
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,281
Well, now you're starting to
embarrass me,
454
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,760
but I do appreciate the compliment.
455
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,851
Good morning, Sar-bear!
456
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,969
- Morning.
- Hey, listen, guys,
457
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,611
Brad and I had a talk last night
about the importance of family.
458
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,206
And now that everyone's here,
I wanted to say a few words, okay?
459
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,441
I think that would be great.
460
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:52,286
Hey, kids, you know, families can be
ever-growing and changing things.
461
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:55,250
And sometimes someone new
knocks on the door of your heart
462
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,641
and you're not sure if you
have room in there for one more.
463
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,405
But there's someone here now
that I hope you guys can learn to love.
464
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,521
Okay?
465
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,420
Come here, boy!
466
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,605
A doggy! Yay!
467
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,481
You brought a dog home?
468
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,925
Yeah. Ls that a problem?
469
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,480
I mean, you seemed
really into it while I was teeing it up.
470
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,485
No, I thought you were talking about me.
471
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,520
- Oh, but you're not a dog, Brad.
- No...
472
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,562
Look, last night, when we talked...
473
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,800
Oh, yeah. Well, listen,
that's got to happen organically.
474
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,201
Why can't it happen now?
475
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,327
It just can't.
476
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,447
You're dirty.
477
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,567
Dusty, how old is that thing?
478
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,205
I'd guess him to be around 15.
479
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,801
I mean, I found him this morning,
living in a storm drain.
480
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:32,968
I named him Tumor,
because of how much he grows on you.
481
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,420
Mommy,
can we keep Tumor, please?
482
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,770
Oh, I'm gonna leave this one up to Brad.
483
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,410
Please, Brad! Please!
484
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,805
Why is he looking at me like that?
485
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,689
He's only looking at me.
486
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,763
Maybe we just get a puppy instead?
487
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,491
A puppy, Brad? What are they
going to learn from a puppy?
488
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,764
An old dog like Tumor here's
been out in the world, man. Living free.
489
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,480
Fighting for survival and seeing things
we can only dream of.
490
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,848
Just look at the wisdom
in those cloudy eyes.
491
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:58,430
Besides, you know what happens
to old dogs at shelters.
492
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:00,122
He's gonna have to walk the green mile
as soon as he gets there.
493
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,248
No, Brad, no! Don't kill our dog!
494
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,651
I hate you!
495
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,642
Okay. Okay. Fine.
496
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,764
He can live out his few
remaining weeks with us.
497
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:11,485
Yay! Thanks, Brad.
498
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:12,886
I don't hate you anymore.
499
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,870
He's going potty!
500
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,725
Oh, my God.
501
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,450
We'll clean it up. We don't mind.
502
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:19,846
Look at that.
503
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,410
The dog's already
teaching them responsibility.
504
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,528
Hey, guys, when you got to
pick up the potty, use gloves.
505
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,280
He's definitely got worms in his poo.
506
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,127
Dusty!
Can you please move this thing?
507
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:37,810
I can't get my car out of the garage.
508
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,928
Hey, Brad, do you mind?
I want to grab a quick shower.
509
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,480
Yeah, sure, no problem.
510
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,366
- Hey, honey.
- Hi, sweetie.
511
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:45,527
It's blocking everything.
512
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,460
No, I know. I know, don't worry.
We're on top of it.
513
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:50,441
What are you doing? Brad, I don't...
514
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:53,327
Hey! Stay away from that, please.
515
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,810
Honey, what are you doing?
516
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,962
I don't know if that's a good idea, Brad.
517
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:01,127
Dusty!
518
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,965
It's vibrating up into my shoulders.
519
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,000
Hey, it's okay, Brad.
Look, she's a lot of bike, man.
520
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,929
No, I'm good. Why don't you go
back in and take that shower,
521
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,331
so you can get a shirt on?
522
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,284
Oh, you got it.
Hey, you look good on that, man.
523
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,566
Remember, one down, four up.
524
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,449
Dusty, everyone knows it's one down...
525
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,884
Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
526
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,764
Did Brad just die?
527
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,322
I think we all need to prepare ourselves
for that possibility, pumpkin. Okay?
528
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:40,641
Brad!
529
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:43,681
Brad!
530
00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:49,929
Oh, my God.
531
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,810
Brad, are you all right?
532
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,807
No, I'm not all right.
I'm in the wall. I'm scared.
533
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,860
Oh, honey.
534
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,430
Jeez, Brad, I thought you said
you could ride.
535
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,322
I can ride, okay.
Would you get a shirt on?
536
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:01,606
I think if you could ride,
537
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,409
you wouldn't be stuck
in a wall right now, Brad.
538
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,562
Yeah.
I'm sorry to say it, but he's right.
539
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:06,766
You almost killed the kids!
540
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,484
Let's not beat up
on Brad here. Okay?
541
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:09,766
He was showboating
for the kids a little bit,
542
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:10,961
and things got out of hand.
543
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,202
Let's all just be grateful
nobody got hurt. Okay?
544
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:14,561
I got hurt!
545
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,400
Okay, kids, listen up.
This is a good lesson
546
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,211
on why you never wanna lie
about your ability to do things
547
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,368
you clearly can't do, okay, huh?
548
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,649
I think my arm is stuck in the wall.
549
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,131
Brad, just stay still.
I'll get you out.
550
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,202
No, no, no, no, no.
No, don't do anything.
551
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,647
And would you please
just go and get a shirt on?
552
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,404
Just calm down, all right?
553
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,202
Hey, I'm really sorry about
what happened to your car.
554
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,368
Yeah, and I'm sorry about
what happened to your bike.
555
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,442
Oh, no damage. Not a scratch.
556
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,563
- Oh, not even one scratch?
- Unbelievable.
557
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,405
That's so good.
558
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,803
Let's keep it going! Inside the cones!
559
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,370
Just like ice cream!
560
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:58,806
Morning, Jerry.
561
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,962
Got to keep it inside the cones!
562
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,725
No, Daddy! You're supposed
to stay in the cones!
563
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,410
Whoa, whoa! Inside the cones!
564
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,930
Inside. Bring her in. That's better.
565
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,685
Let's keep those kids safe today, okay?
Thank you, Brad.
566
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,910
Sorry, Doris.
567
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,681
It's okay. This whole drop-off line thing
568
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,205
can be a bit overwhelming
if you're not used to it.
569
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,601
Yeah, well, I've landed a chopper
in the middle of a Cuban prison riot,
570
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,364
Brad, I think I'm good.
571
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:27,207
Bye, guys! I love you guys so much.
Have a great day, okay?
572
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:28,964
- Bye, Daddy!
- Make sure you do all your work.
573
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:30,880
Bye, guys. Have the best day.
I love you so...
574
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,240
Here's the exciting thing.
575
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:39,330
We just opened up in our 68th market,
making The Panda America's
576
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,607
number three smooth jazz station.
577
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,121
Wow.
578
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,282
And here it is. My, uh... My little nook.
579
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:51,966
Wow. Oh, man, I gotta admit,
this is more than I expected.
580
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:53,481
Wow.
581
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:55,880
I kind of envy you, Brad.
582
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,121
Oh, stop it.
583
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,927
Ah, it's true. I mean, you're a nice guy,
making a comfortable living,
584
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,207
and the most fantastic woman
in the world loves you dearly.
585
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,725
Really? Thanks for saying that.
586
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:09,164
I mean it. And that sacrifice
she's making for you... That's true love.
587
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,361
Sacrifice?
588
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:11,567
Well, sure, Brad.
589
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,440
You know how bad
that girl wants another baby.
590
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,285
She wants another baby?
591
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:17,771
For her to let that slip away
592
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,730
and marry a man she knew to be barren,
that's true love.
593
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,484
How do you know that I can't...
594
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:24,761
- Bradley.
- Yes.
595
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,922
Caroline says we're gonna hear some
new voice talent this a.m.?
596
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,843
Yes, sir, in about 15 minutes.
597
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,100
Okay. How'd it go
598
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,651
- with the shitbag ex-husband?
- Uh-uh.
599
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,451
You whip his ass with
that Loving Fence of yours?
600
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,967
Well,
actually it's interesting, Mr. Holt,
601
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,691
because I want you to
meet Dusty Mayron.
602
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:44,886
Jesus in the morning.
She was married to him first?
603
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,410
Okay. Let's establish some
ground rules, pretty boy.
604
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:49,246
- Airborne?
- Huh?
605
00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:52,110
Well, your lapel pin.
101st, that's one hell of a division, sir.
606
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:54,481
Oh, well, thank you, Dusty.
607
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,681
Are you Airborne?
608
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,564
Oh, no, sir, I'm afraid
I don't share that honor,
609
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,927
but I'm humbled to be in the
presence of anyone who does.
610
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,526
Airborne Division?
Those guys love to fly.
611
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:04,840
Very nice to meet you, sir.
612
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,922
Thank you, thank you.
It's good to meet you.
613
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,800
My pleasure. It's an honor.
614
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:09,884
Fast friends over there.
615
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:11,891
That's wonderful.
616
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:13,366
Come on! No way!
617
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,882
The whole time you're running guns
for the freedom fighters
618
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,644
right under the cartel's noses,
619
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,529
and they never suspected
it was you once?
620
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,251
Well, I'm sure they started to suspect
once they were in a ball of fire
621
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,845
the size of four city blocks.
622
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,488
That's great. I love that!
623
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,500
Holy buckets, Brad!
624
00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:31,646
If this guy was my wife's ex,
I'd put a bullet in my skull.
625
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:34,326
Come on, Leo, cut it out.
626
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,971
Oh, uh... Sir, I think Barry's ready.
627
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:38,326
You're really going to like this guy.
628
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,641
Okay. Ready to listen.
629
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,411
One-oh-three-point-six.
630
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,762
The Panda!
631
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:52,650
All right. Mmm-hmm.
632
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,451
- You like him, Brad?
- I do.
633
00:27:55,760 --> 00:28:00,840
I do. I mean, I think his voice
has a warm dependability
634
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,910
that all Panda listeners could trust.
635
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:04,807
What do you think, Duster?
636
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,969
Does Dusty now work for The Panda?
637
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:09,844
Yeah, Brad's right.
638
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,480
I'm not really into smooth jazz.
I shouldn't comment.
639
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,322
Nobody's into smooth jazz.
640
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:15,646
I'm into smooth jazz.
641
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:16,921
Of course you are, Brad.
642
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:18,606
So what do you think, Dusty?
643
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:20,524
I mean, it just seems a little flaccid.
644
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:21,886
You know, I think you need a voice with
645
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,724
some virility and hope,
that tells listeners,
646
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,963
"Hey! Maybe the next song
won't suck as bad as the last one."
647
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,242
Also, I think a strong ability
to be something like...
648
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,290
One-oh-three-point-six.
649
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:34,727
The Panda!
650
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,100
What...
651
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,482
What just happened?
652
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,801
He sang the tagline.
653
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,725
Good boy, Tumor!
654
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:48,811
Daddy!
655
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,410
Hey!
656
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,485
Oh, perfect timing. Listen to this.
657
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,444
One-oh-three-point-six.
658
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,568
The Panda!
659
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,400
- Ls that you?
- Yeah!
660
00:28:58,120 --> 00:28:59,326
That's you?
661
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,810
Why is that him?
662
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,402
I took him to work, and 15 minutes later
he's the new voice of The Panda.
663
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,484
Hey, you believe that? I record
one take at 9:30 this morning,
664
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:09,971
it's already run 11 times.
665
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,120
Do I really get 182 bucks
every time they play that?
666
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:13,400
Yes. Every time, yes.
667
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:14,760
Ooh! Money.
668
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,446
You see why I love America
even more than most people do?
669
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,365
Hey. What's this?
670
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,124
Just the handyman
I hired off Angie's List.
671
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,900
He's upstairs fixing the damage.
672
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,608
Your wife had to hire a man? For what?
673
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,170
Some framing, a little sheetrock repair,
674
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,526
some masonry
and basic window glazing?
675
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,369
Come on, Brad.
We can bang that out tonight.
676
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:33,687
Yeah.
677
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,200
It's just basic sheetrock glazing
678
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,686
and, you know, little whatamajigs.
679
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:40,690
Get up there and
680
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,689
get in there and crank it out.
681
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,200
Dusty is pretty good with his hands.
682
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,960
Pretty good with my hands,
Brad, she knows.
683
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,807
Okay. Yeah, I'll just
go up there and I'll...
684
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,882
- Want me to do it? I'll tell him to screw.
- No, no, no, no.
685
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,121
No, no, no. That's okay.
686
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,281
I'll tell him,
687
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:56,805
- "Guess what, bub?"
- Tell him the men are here.
688
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,810
I'll say that. I'll say,
"The men are here."
689
00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:59,960
- Let's do it.
- I don't want to imply to him
690
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,889
that he's not a man. But I'll just say,
691
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,162
"Hey, the boys are back in town." Right?
692
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:10,881
Oh, hi.
693
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,767
I'm Brad. Uh... My wife hired you.
694
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,100
Nice to meet you, Brad.
695
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,402
I just came up here to say that you...
696
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,731
That, um, you should have good luck.
697
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,243
Thank you for your wishes of luck.
698
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:27,726
I'll be downstairs.
699
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:30,931
Well? What happened?
700
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,884
Oh, you know, I think it's...
701
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,328
He already started,
and I just think it feels wrong.
702
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,606
Why? Because he's black?
703
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,910
No. No, no.
704
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:40,771
Megan! Dylan!
705
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,640
- What are you doing? Huh?
- Teaching moment.
706
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,523
Guys, what would we call Brad
if he treated someone differently
707
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,409
just because of the color of their skin?
708
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,926
Brad's being racism?
709
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,820
Racist, honey. Brad is a racist.
710
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,924
- Honey.
- No, I mean... But not on purpose.
711
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:56,371
Is Brad a Klan person?
712
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,648
No.
713
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,451
So I'm a racist if I don't fire someone?
714
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:02,521
Well, yeah, you are.
715
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:03,681
Yeah, you are.
716
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,451
Sir, you're taking this all wrong.
717
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,324
Right. So you get one look
at the color of my skin,
718
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,209
and all of a sudden you're
Mr. Do It Yourself, huh?
719
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:13,725
No, not at all. Please,
720
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:15,404
allow me to pay you
for your time and travel.
721
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,926
Don't do me any favors, Paula Deen.
722
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:20,807
I'm not a woman.
723
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,291
You did the right thing.
724
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,209
Boy, it doesn't feel that way.
725
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:25,646
Let's get cracking.
Where do you keep your tools?
726
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,410
I know where Brad keeps his tools.
In the credenza.
727
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,700
- Yeah.
- You keep your tools
728
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:31,570
- in the credenza, Brad?
- In the credenza. Mmm-hmm.
729
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:32,846
Just easier to get to.
730
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,251
- It's convenient.
- Yeah.
731
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,324
This is a tackle box, Brad.
Are we going fishing?
732
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,402
No. Unless you want to go fishing.
733
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,563
What have you got in here?
734
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,927
A hammer, masking tape,
three C batteries and
735
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,100
a tampon.
736
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:47,121
Yeah, well, a tampon's handy for...
737
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:48,929
Yeah, I know what they're handy for.
738
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,910
So are we not going to fix it?
739
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:52,366
Well, what do you want from me, Brad?
740
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:53,646
To buy all the gear we need
would cost more
741
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,700
than just hiring someone
off of Angie's List.
742
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,110
And the King, he thought
743
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,890
the Step King seemed okay at first,
a little soft, maybe,
744
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,880
but, heck, the Queen
needed a meal ticket.
745
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,850
But the more the King
learned about him,
746
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,200
the more he doubted the
Step King's ability to lead.
747
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,931
So the King decided
there was only one way to...
748
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,365
Psst... Hey. Good story?
749
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,602
Yeah. The King finally
came back to his castle.
750
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,769
But the evil Step King
wouldn't give him his crown back.
751
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,367
Oh, okay, yeah.
I think I've heard this story before.
752
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,440
Ah, it's a story as old as time, Brad.
753
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,811
Well, you know what? It turns out
the Step King wasn't evil at all.
754
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:32,166
He was a really good guy.
755
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,322
Fun at parties, great conversationalist,
756
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,368
affable. And he saw
757
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,410
that the beautiful Queen
and perfect Prince and Princess
758
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,802
were all alone, and he came
valiantly to their rescue.
759
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,849
Yeah, but wasn't
the Queen sad because
760
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,480
the Step King couldn't give
her an heir to the throne?
761
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:48,531
Okay, you know what?
Now this is getting personal.
762
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,490
Hey, Brad, come on.
We're just doing fairy tales here.
763
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,403
All right. Well, the Queen wasn't sad,
764
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,924
just for the record.
765
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,606
The Step King was pretty sure
she was totally cool with it.
766
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,251
Yeah, Brad's right. I'm sure
the Queen was thrilled. Right?
767
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:03,881
Right?
768
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:05,561
Yeah.
769
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:12,321
Honey,
770
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,164
what's the matter?
771
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:17,888
Are you still sad about
Dusty finding your tampon?
772
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,420
No. No, I mean,
773
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,889
this is a little embarrassing,
774
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:24,849
but it's just, I was...
775
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,684
ls there any chance
you still want another baby?
776
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,682
Oh, my God.
What, did Dusty say something?
777
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,682
He's just trying to get in your head.
778
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,285
So it's not true then?
779
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,525
Okay. Maybe I did want another baby.
780
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,442
But it's not possible,
given what happened to your...
781
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,410
And I'm not blaming them. I love them.
782
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,210
They are my fuzzy little pals.
783
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:54,406
You don't have to say that.
784
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:55,726
They are.
785
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,124
I am 100% happy
with the family that I have.
786
00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:01,520
The only reason I'm putting up with him
787
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:03,722
is because my kids
are so happy to see him.
788
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,400
And I want them to have
a relationship with their father.
789
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:08,881
You know what?
790
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:10,445
I can't wait to see his face
791
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,330
when he figures out
how much you really do for his kids.
792
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,407
Yeah. I mean, I'm
793
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,971
involved. I'm emotionally available.
794
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:21,166
Yeah, you are.
795
00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:22,890
You are darn right.
796
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:27,860
It's high time Dusty sees
how a real dad does it.
797
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,840
Iam fired up!
798
00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:32,131
Let's get some shut-eye.
799
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:28,281
Hallelujah!
800
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,326
Hey, dudes! Hey, T.J.!
801
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,500
Brad! Look what Dad did!
802
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,521
He finished the treehouse for you!
803
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,490
Hey, hey! B-man!
804
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:02,330
No, watch out, B!
805
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,645
Hey, Brad. Sorry about that.
806
00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:06,846
You all right?
807
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:07,921
Brad, what do you think, man?
808
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,650
Wow. Pretty cool zipline.
809
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,360
You like that, huh? It's military grade.
810
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,900
You built all this today? With my tools?
811
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,925
Oh, no, you can't build a treehouse
with a tampon, Brad.
812
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,604
No, I had a little bit of help.
813
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,763
Yo, Dylan, PS4 is all hooked up.
814
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,769
- Thanks, Uncle Griff.
- No problem, buddy.
815
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:22,927
Uncle Griff?
816
00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:24,730
Dude, I went out for a beer last night,
817
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,450
and who's tending bar
but our man Griffy?
818
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,522
We get to talking and we just click.
You know what I mean?
819
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:30,683
He's a great dude, man. He really is.
820
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,410
I know how you feel about him,
but just give him a chance.
821
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,880
All right? He's having
a tough time at home,
822
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:36,924
and your firing him sure didn't help.
823
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,565
Well, I fired him because you made me!
824
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:39,721
- I made you?
- Yeah.
825
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:41,968
Am I in charge around here now?
Is my name on the mortgage?
826
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:43,525
Last time I checked,
you were the man of the house,
827
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,200
and me and Griffy
were just staying here.
828
00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:47,400
- He's not staying here.
- Because he's black?
829
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,366
No, not because of that.
830
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,522
Look, Griffy helped me
knock this out, all right?
831
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,688
So despite any prejudices
that you may or may not have...
832
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,450
I don't have any prejudices.
833
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:55,726
I said "may or may not."
834
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:56,926
- Well, it's may not.
- Well, that's good.
835
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,650
Because that's one of the ones I said.
836
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:00,490
Hey, kids, come on.
Helmets on the half-pipe.
837
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:01,760
We got to be safe around here.
838
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:02,926
Wait, half-pipe?
839
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,128
Look, I know it's taking up
a lot of the yard, but it's gonna make
840
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,645
your house the coolest place
in the neighborhood.
841
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,285
I got a sound system, we got
842
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,500
a couple Go-Pros. That's Corey
from Red Bull over there.
843
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:13,485
Hey, Corey!
844
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:14,921
You got a sponsor for my backyard?
845
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,321
Hey, Mr. Mayron! You want next?
846
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,164
Nicholas, please, it's Dusty!
847
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,642
And, yes, I do. Brad, watch this run.
848
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,921
I'm gonna dedicate this run
to my future X-Games champs,
849
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,968
Dylan and Megan. This is for you!
850
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,643
Looks like you picked the
wrong leisure activity, buddy.
851
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:05,885
Thank you.
852
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:07,970
- Oh, hey, Sara.
- Hi.
853
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:09,201
Okay. Who's got next?
854
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:10,685
I do!
855
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:15,725
Look!
856
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,527
Some cute little tricks there, Dusty.
857
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:23,561
Really adorable.
858
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:24,841
Brad?
859
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:26,371
Hey, who'd like to see
how we used to do it
860
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,727
back in the empty pools of Encino,
861
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,968
Castaic, Irvine, Long Beach?
862
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:32,885
Santa Clarita?
863
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,325
Santa Cruz?
864
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:36,881
Fremont?
865
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,163
Honey, no, please come down.
866
00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:41,720
Oh, I intend to, sister.
867
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,161
Come on, Brad, it hasn't been that long.
868
00:38:45,240 --> 00:38:46,401
Godspeed.
869
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,245
Whoa!
870
00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:58,400
Oh, my God! Brad!
871
00:38:58,800 --> 00:38:59,650
Oh, no, it's best not to touch him.
Wait a second.
872
00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:01,290
What do you mean, don't touch him?
He's in trouble.
873
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:02,925
Look, I know he's in trouble, okay?
874
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,769
But if there's a problem, who
do you want to be in charge?
875
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:05,881
You'?
876
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,962
Okay. All right, guys,
we have an emergency situation.
877
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,281
And what's the first thing we do?
Anybody?
878
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:12,564
- You! Redhead.
- Call 911.
879
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:16,820
Close. But wrong.
First thing we do is remain calm.
880
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:17,207
Yeah, that's good advice.
881
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,681
The 911 operator can't understand you
if you're hysterical, okay?
882
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,808
So let's all take a deep breath.
In for ten...
883
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,200
Are you kidding me right now?
Help him!
884
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:25,969
Hey, that doesn't sound calm, Sara.
885
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:27,929
Now, please, call 911
and relate to the dispatcher
886
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,843
- what happened calmly, okay?
- Okay, yes.
887
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:31,729
Anybody know what we do next?
888
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,400
Check for pulse!
889
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,430
Nice! My star pupil! Come on up here.
890
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,282
All right! Okay, two fingers on the neck,
891
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:38,686
right below the ear.
892
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,683
- Good. You feel a heartbeat?
- Uh-uh.
893
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:44,806
Okay, now that means that
Brad here is now clinically... Anybody?
894
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,365
- You, Jean Jacket!
- Dead?
895
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:47,885
Attaboy, Jean Jacket.
You're a smart kid.
896
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,700
He is dead.
897
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,686
All right, so what do we do?
Come on, we're losing him here.
898
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,330
Give him C.P.R.?
899
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,921
Yes! That's my girl.
Come on up here, sweetie.
900
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:59,801
All right! All right, lock your fingers
like this and press down hard right here.
901
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:01,720
Oh, great job, sweetheart.
902
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:02,767
Dusty, hurry!
903
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:04,640
Okay, I'm going to go ahead
and take this one.
904
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,000
Okay? Watch closely now.
905
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:07,963
If you do your
chest compressions properly,
906
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,327
it shouldn't take long. Clear out, guys.
907
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:15,970
I got him! I got him!
908
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,411
My dad can bring people
back from the dead!
909
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:24,888
Mr. Whitaker's a zombie!
910
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:32,366
Look, I'm okay, really.
I just got a little jolt.
911
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,841
You got a little killed
is what you got, Brad.
912
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,850
We thought we lost you.
913
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,565
Okay, I'm sorry.
914
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:40,682
I just got tired of being
the lame stepdad.
915
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,643
All the kids think he's Superman.
916
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,524
Well, now you know how I felt.
917
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:46,444
I always had to be the bad guy mom,
918
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:49,460
giving out the carrots
and the punishments,
919
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,891
and he would breeze in
from God only knows where
920
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,968
and get to be the cool, fun dad.
921
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,800
Honey. Look.
922
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:57,850
I'll talk to him, okay?
923
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,126
I'll tell him to get his stuff
924
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,407
and get over
to the Red Roof Inn. Pronto.
925
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:02,881
Great.
926
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,404
Wait. Prince Hans is
actually the bad guy?
927
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,160
Man, I didn't see that coming at all.
928
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:12,640
He seemed like he really loved Anna.
929
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:14,121
I hate Prince Hans.
930
00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:15,446
Dusty.
931
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,489
Hey, how you feeling, Sparky?
932
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,684
Sparky. That's hilarious.
933
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:21,000
Brad, have you seen this movie?
934
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:22,320
It's unbelievable, man.
935
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,520
There's these two sisters,
one of them has ice powers.
936
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:26,449
Yeah, I'm familiar with Frozen.
937
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,890
Listen, Dusty, I need to talk to you now.
938
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:30,207
I can't talk now, Brad.
939
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:31,406
Just pause the movie!
940
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:32,845
Can you guys talk out there, please?
941
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:34,810
Griff, man. You gotta pause it, man.
942
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:35,480
No! I don't want to ruin the momentum.
943
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,769
He won't... Dude, if another song
comes on, you got to pause it. Okay?
944
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,251
Am I supposed to pause my emotions?
945
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:41,810
Just pause the song, man.
946
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,900
What's up? What's up?
What's going on, Brad?
947
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:45,680
- This shouldn't take long.
- Okay, good.
948
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,800
Listen, um, I just think
that you're being here...
949
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:49,969
Yeah. No problem.
950
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:51,485
And now there's Griff here,
951
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,450
it's presenting some obstacles...
952
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:56,526
Stupid helmet!
953
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:57,886
Honey, what happened?
954
00:41:57,960 --> 00:41:59,325
They pushed me off my bike again!
955
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:00,811
I'm so sick of it!
956
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,931
I want them dead, Brad. All right?
I want their parents dead.
957
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,206
And if they don't have parents, I want
958
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,203
their primary caregivers dead.
Do you understand me?
959
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,361
- Okay, okay.
- He's okay.
960
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,910
Megan's upstairs playing with him.
I am so pissed about this.
961
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:17,286
Was it the fourth graders again?
962
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,681
Fourth graders?
What, you knew about this, Brad?
963
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,286
Yeah. Dylan asked to speak
specifically to me about it.
964
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:23,765
- Really?
- So, we role-played
965
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,285
some conflict resolution dialogue.
966
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:26,885
Are you being serious right now, Brad?
967
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:29,406
What you need to be teaching him
is some ass-beating resolution.
968
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,802
Damn straight. You got to
make a statement. Set a tone.
969
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,870
It's kind of
a family matter over here.
970
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:36,650
No, Dusty and Griff are right.
971
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,520
Those little punks need
their butts whooped.
972
00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:39,891
Hey, you got any Miracle Whip?
973
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:41,240
Yeah, it's behind the...
974
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:43,681
Here. Hold on. Let me just get it for you.
975
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,484
Guys, I know we're upset right now,
976
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,569
but here's the thing.
977
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:51,770
Violence never solved anything.
978
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:52,967
Hey, check your history books, buddy.
979
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:54,371
Almost everything is solved by violence.
980
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:55,805
There are better ways.
981
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,491
Okay. Name one. Besides dialoguing.
982
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,170
- Name one?
- Name one!
983
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,244
- What do you mean, name one?
- You said you could
984
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:03,651
solve problems with
things other than fighting.
985
00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:04,801
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
986
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,121
Well, you said you knew!
You act like you knew!
987
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:08,281
- Fine, yes!
- What?
988
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,440
Dancing! Dancing.
989
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,361
Did you... Did you just
say dancing, Brad?
990
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:19,206
It's very popular in youth culture
to resolve conflict through dancing.
991
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,687
They step up to each other
and get served
992
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,207
by crunking, or popping and locking.
993
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,521
They call each other out,
they take turns,
994
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:30,401
and it is no less intense
than a classic street brawl.
995
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,729
But, at the end of the day, no one's hurt.
996
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,401
And it's a great aerobic workout.
997
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,770
He's flailing a bit,
but he has a good point.
998
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:42,870
There's a rich history
of dance battles in film.
999
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,368
- You got Breakin' 1...
- I didn't even think of this.
1000
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,442
Breakin' 2; Electric Boogaloo.
1001
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,289
One of the rare cases
where the sequel was better
1002
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:49,680
- than the original.
- Much better.
1003
00:43:49,720 --> 00:43:51,563
You got Step Up, Stomp the Yard.
1004
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,210
He makes a solid point.
1005
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,171
Honey, are you telling us that we
should teach Dylan to dance?
1006
00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:58,322
No, I'm just saying
1007
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:00,480
that teaching him to fight
isn't the answer.
1008
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,922
Okay, but maybe teaching him
to fight back isn't so bad?
1009
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:07,206
Okay.
1010
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:12,126
There we go. Perfect.
That's good, right there.
1011
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:14,724
Yeah. A lot of protection.
1012
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:20,840
All right, Dylan. You ready, buddy?
1013
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,285
- I guess.
- Oh, you're ready.
1014
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:24,488
Brad, Griff. You guys be
the fourth graders.
1015
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,164
- I'll be Dylan.
- Okay.
1016
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,761
All right. Hey, buddy,
the first thing you want to do
1017
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,524
is call out the biggest one.
1018
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,524
Hey! What's the matter?
1019
00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:33,846
You too much of a pussy to take me on
1020
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,600
without your little bitches
to back you up?
1021
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:39,681
Wow. Okay, yes.
That cut right through me, there.
1022
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:41,802
I'm filled with inner shame right now.
1023
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,321
Saying to myself,
"Gosh, maybe I'm not behaving
1024
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,483
"100% the way I want to."
Right? Ls that same page?
1025
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,880
No. What the kid's gonna think
is, "Now I can beat your ass"
1026
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,605
"all on my own." But now
you only got one bully to contend with.
1027
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,444
Now bullies always open up
with some shoving first.
1028
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:56,520
- Watch. Brad, give me a little shove.
- All right.
1029
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:58,681
Whoa, I didn't connect there, did I?
1030
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,450
No. It was really close, though.
1031
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,406
See what I did, buddy?
I turned my body just enough
1032
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,600
to let his weight bring him in,
then I came right down Broadway.
1033
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:07,650
- I'm not gonna hit you.
- Oh.
1034
00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:10,870
- Okay, relax. Okay?
- Mmm-hmm.
1035
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:11,207
Bam!
1036
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:12,486
It's called the element of surprise.
1037
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:13,965
Then you start punking his ass!
1038
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,162
You want some more of that, bitch, huh?
You like that, bitch?
1039
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,900
All right. Do we really
need to use that word?
1040
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:19,206
- No.
- Honey, yes.
1041
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:20,845
Unfortunately, we do. I'm sorry.
1042
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,763
You have to make him a bitch.
1043
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:24,848
It's a fundamental step in
destroying a bully's psyche.
1044
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,331
Now stay down, bitch!
1045
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:27,890
Then you kick that kid
right in the nuts!
1046
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:29,800
Kick him in the nuts, Dylan!
1047
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,491
Wait! I thought you were in my gang.
1048
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,881
Yeah, but once Dylan tuned you up,
I switched sides.
1049
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,729
What do you think happens
out there on the playground, Brad?
1050
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,564
All right, now come on, buddy.
It's your turn. All right?
1051
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:37,966
I'll be the fourth grader.
1052
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:39,923
Can I just go inside already, please?
1053
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,968
Hey, buddy come on, this is easy.
You can do this.
1054
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:43,849
I said, no! I don't like this stuff.
1055
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,486
I'll just stay away from them
from now on. Mom?
1056
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:47,806
Okay, come here, buddy.
1057
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,410
- Come on. It's all right.
- Brad.
1058
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:50,685
Help me out here. Come on.
1059
00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:53,401
Hey, wait.
1060
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:56,490
Pal, listen...
1061
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,320
I know what it's like
to be afraid to go to school.
1062
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,500
Okay? When I was your age,
1063
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,727
this group of older kids
started picking on me.
1064
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,762
I ran and I cried
underneath the bleachers.
1065
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,844
They bothered me every day,
because they knew.
1066
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:10,931
I was too afraid to face them.
1067
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:13,768
Until one day, I'd had enough.
1068
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,202
And I socked Jesse Hubbard
right in the nose.
1069
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,522
Really? And they left you alone?
1070
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:20,251
Damn right they did.
1071
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:25,882
Brad. That was good.
1072
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:30,100
Come here, buddy.
Hey, I'm proud of you. All right?
1073
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:31,326
Now, look at me. I want you to
1074
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:32,731
punch them right
in the Adam's apple. Okay?
1075
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,689
I want you to shatter their throat.
1076
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,250
Hold on, hold on.
1077
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:41,126
I'm sorry. Look, I'm having
a pang of guilt right now.
1078
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,900
Full disclosure. Some of the elements
1079
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:44,411
of my story weren't exactly true.
1080
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:47,282
Um, the incessant crying, 100% true.
1081
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:50,723
The constant bullying, absolutely,
it all happened, but I, uh...
1082
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,688
I've never punched anyone
in my life.
1083
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:55,860
I could have told you that.
1084
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:57,727
- Then what did you do?
- Yeah, what did you do?
1085
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,482
Well, nothing at all.
In fact, sixth grade was so rough,
1086
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:02,244
I changed my name to
1087
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,126
Devin Lacecock.
1088
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:05,884
Why the hell would you tell him that?
1089
00:47:06,240 --> 00:47:08,242
I pretended to be blind
for an entire school year,
1090
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,840
just to elicit empathy.
1091
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,244
Which was great until
1092
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,763
they found me intently watching
an episode of M*A*S*H.
1093
00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:17,969
In fact, it got so bad,
my parents had to refinance
1094
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:19,610
our house to put me in private school.
1095
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:23,890
Let's just do that.
Can I go to private school, please?
1096
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:25,767
No, Dylan, we can't do that.
Want to know why?
1097
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,489
Because ever since that day,
1098
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:30,684
I've always run away from conflict.
1099
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:35,922
In fact, if I had a dad like Dusty
when I was your age, maybe
1100
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:38,880
he could have taught me
how to stand up for myself.
1101
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,602
So, wait. You're saying,
1102
00:47:41,720 --> 00:47:43,961
if I don't stick up for myself now,
1103
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,447
I'll grow up to be a huge wussy like you?
1104
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:51,442
Um, yes. That is the basic
gist of what I'm saying. Yes.
1105
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:53,802
Okay. Then let's do this.
1106
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:55,770
Come on, buddy, you got this.
1107
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:56,921
Give me something. Come on.
1108
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,764
Faster, harder, meaner, stronger.
1109
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:00,800
You're fast, you're good.
1110
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:01,560
You're a winner. You're a champion.
1111
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,564
They got to let you off the leash, baby.
We got a little pit bull here.
1112
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,484
That was really nice,
you guys. Good job.
1113
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,722
It was really fun to watch the
two of you working together
1114
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,280
like a couple of great co-dads.
1115
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:14,761
Yeah.
1116
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,641
Co-dads. That's...
1117
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:19,446
That's good stuff.
1118
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,166
You know what?
In that same spirit of unity,
1119
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:24,531
I want to show my gratitude
for your inviting me
1120
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,369
to stay here
and share moments like these.
1121
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,608
Oh, about that, Dusty.
When I pulled you over there, actually...
1122
00:48:28,720 --> 00:48:31,200
No, what you've done here
does not go unnoticed.
1123
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:32,691
And I repay my debts.
1124
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,724
Look, Sara, I know how much
you want another child.
1125
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:36,680
I think I can help
put a baby in there for you.
1126
00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:38,404
- Oh, my God!
- What are you saying?
1127
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,687
- I mean I got a guy.
- Dusty, please! You got a guy?
1128
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:42,649
Yes, I got a guy. A fertility doctor.
1129
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:45,100
He's a buddy of mine.
I trained him for his first Ironman.
1130
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,420
All right? Dr. Francisco is the real deal.
1131
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,362
- Dr. Emilio Francisco?
- You've heard of him?
1132
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:51,500
Oh, my God, yeah.
1133
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,490
He's been on Dr. Oz like 10 times.
1134
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:54,440
Yeah, he's one of the top five
1135
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:56,409
reproductive endocrinologists
in the country.
1136
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:59,330
See? People wait years
to get an appointment with this guy.
1137
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:00,731
Do you really think he would see us?
1138
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:02,768
- Whoa, whoa, hold on.
- I know he would.
1139
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,411
If anybody can help you
have a baby, he can.
1140
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:07,245
Mommy's going to have a baby?
1141
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:08,606
Cool! Can we name it Griff?
1142
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:09,806
Oh, thanks, D-man.
1143
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,420
Look, you guys,
I don't know if this is a good idea.
1144
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:13,964
What, you don't wanna name your baby
after a black person?
1145
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:15,166
- Is that it?
- No!
1146
00:49:15,240 --> 00:49:16,730
You probably want to name it
something really white,
1147
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:18,529
like Connor or Gordon.
1148
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:22,921
Harland, or Scot with one T. Or Brad.
1149
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,651
No, no, Griff is a lovely name.
I'm just saying,
1150
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:28,208
I don't think it's a good
idea to get our hopes up,
1151
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,880
because, in the end,
1152
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,726
odds are, I'm going to let you down.
1153
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:35,811
Okay, honey, but what if
1154
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,690
I promise, promise, promise
not to get my hopes up?
1155
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:41,880
We could just try, right? It can't hurt.
1156
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:45,410
Okay, sure.
But you can't get your hopes up.
1157
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:46,721
No. I won't, I won't! Thank you!
1158
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,802
I feel like you've already
gotten your hopes up.
1159
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:51,530
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere!
1160
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,284
- You calling your mother?
- No!
1161
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,482
Okay, yes, but it's about something else.
1162
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:57,211
It's not about something else.
1163
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,404
Damn it, Brad, he set you up.
1164
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:03,900
He used this fancy doctor
to get your wife back on the baby train.
1165
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:07,245
When those test results come back
and prove that you can't give her a baby,
1166
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:09,922
guess who's gonna be waiting
there cocked and loaded?
1167
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,362
Well, I trust my wife,
1168
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,840
so we really don't need to
keep talking about it, okay?
1169
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:16,604
Let me tell you a little story, Brad.
1170
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:21,124
When Jeneane, my fourth, and I
were returning from our honeymoon,
1171
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,248
she told me that
she had a 23-year-old kid.
1172
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:26,324
Brazilian boy.
Said she had him real young.
1173
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:27,726
So he moves in with us.
1174
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:29,451
Doesn't speak a lick of English.
1175
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,849
There are the usual tensions.
I try to assert my authority.
1176
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,731
"Andreas, get your feet off the furniture."
1177
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,764
"Andreas, you're too old
to sleep in bed with Mommy."
1178
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,811
"Andreas, you got to stay off the 'roids."
1179
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:44,566
And he'd get mad,
and hit me with a car antenna.
1180
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:46,804
Eh... Maybe that's the way kids are.
1181
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,490
No. Not really.
1182
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,400
So I adopt him,
help him get his citizenship.
1183
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:54,450
The second the papers come through,
guess what happens?
1184
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:55,607
I already know.
1185
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,682
Bam! They shack up together in Barstow.
1186
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,723
It turns out Andreas
1187
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:01,643
- is her boyfriend, Brad.
- Mmm-hmm.
1188
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,684
I did not see it coming.
1189
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:08,169
I actually did, about one,
two words into your story.
1190
00:51:08,240 --> 00:51:09,924
The moral of this fable is,
1191
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,604
it's good to know when you're beaten.
1192
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,686
- You know I think the world of you, Brad.
- Thank you.
1193
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:18,447
But if I'm being completely honest,
even I'm rooting for Dusty.
1194
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:20,565
He's just so damn likeable.
1195
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:24,967
You know, it's getting kind of late.
Shouldn't we just get back to work?
1196
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:26,725
Okay, you win.
1197
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:31,406
So where are we on The Panda Jam
numbers for next summer?
1198
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,470
London, you still on the conference call?
1199
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,691
Dusty Mayron, you crazy hijo de puta!
1200
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:42,483
Hey, what's up, Doc?
1201
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,131
You look great, man. You still
rocking those Ironmans, huh?
1202
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:47,282
Yeah, bro. I just finished Brazil in 11:40.
1203
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:49,124
- That's unbelievable.
- Yeah. Well, come on.
1204
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:50,406
Ain't nothing on you, man.
1205
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:53,524
Hey, my first race,
I'm limping across the finish line
1206
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,110
when this bastard laps me.
1207
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:56,565
I mean, come on, who wins an Ironman,
1208
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:58,603
then decides to go around again?
Who does that?
1209
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:00,205
It sounds exhausting.
1210
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,802
Hey, I'm Dr. Francisco.
You must be Sara.
1211
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:04,961
Hi.
1212
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:08,243
Dusty, you were not lying
about this one. Very nice.
1213
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:10,126
And you weren't lying
about this one either.
1214
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:11,565
You must be Chief Glowing Sack.
1215
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:13,324
What?
1216
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:14,805
Hey, come on,
I'm just lighting you up, man.
1217
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:15,927
Come on, little hug.
1218
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,884
Okay, come on back, y'all.
Let's take a look.
1219
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,405
All right. So let's run it down.
1220
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:23,325
I think we can safely say
1221
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,402
that your issue has nothing
to do with X-rays.
1222
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,206
You know what, sweetheart, come here.
Let's see that pretty little hand.
1223
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:29,930
Okay. Now put it right in here.
1224
00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:32,481
- Oh!
- Okay, you feel that?
1225
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,403
- Yeah.
- Okay, that is not how you want
1226
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:35,766
testicles to be shaped.
1227
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,924
Really? It feels like all the other...
1228
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:40,810
Hi.
1229
00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:42,720
Well, it cuts off blood flow, okay?
Limits potency.
1230
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,928
You want them to...
You know what? Actually...
1231
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:47,688
"Hey, Dusty!
- Hey."
1232
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,410
- Why is he coming in here?
- Little help in here, please.
1233
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:51,690
Oh, come on. You gotta put me
through this every time?
1234
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:53,250
- Come on. Be a sport.
- All right.
1235
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:54,880
Oh, my God! What are you doing?
1236
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:56,445
Is this even ethical?
1237
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,121
James and the Giant Peach.
1238
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:02,762
- Did you just gulp?
- No.
1239
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,525
It's okay, I gulp every time.
1240
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:08,527
You see, this... This is what you want.
1241
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:10,285
Plump and bulbous.
1242
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:12,682
Glassy smooth, like
1243
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,206
two Patrick Stewarts,
you know what I mean?
1244
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:17,328
Don't embarrass me in front
of Sara like this anymore, okay?
1245
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:18,686
Hey, sorry, bro.
1246
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:21,286
So, ready to milk the cow,
see if we even got a sliver of hope here?
1247
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:23,806
Hey, Dusty, come on, buddy. Want to
try to break your own record?
1248
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:24,927
Oh, no, I'm good.
1249
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:26,889
Hey, come on, man.
I'm doing you a favor here.
1250
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,167
Give me something to brag
about at the next symposium.
1251
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,568
All right, fine. You want to break
the record, I gotta break the record.
1252
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:35,820
Yeah. Kid came to play.
1253
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:36,846
Should I grab a big cup, too?
1254
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:38,000
What? Stop screwing around.
1255
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:39,645
Come on. We're burning daylight here.
1256
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:12,680
Hello. Quick question.
How difficult would it be
1257
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:15,604
for someone to whip up
a batch of your Cinnabons?
1258
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:17,843
Would you need
restaurant-grade ovens?
1259
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:19,922
Bradsky. Could you
pass this along to Dusty?
1260
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:21,405
It's his first resids check.
1261
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:23,284
Disclaimer. It's more than you make.
1262
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:25,100
- Don't get worried about it.
- How much more than...
1263
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:28,440
Oh, and tell him,
8:30 sharp at my house.
1264
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:30,283
He doesn't need to bring anything.
All right, buddy?
1265
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:31,691
I've never been to your house.
1266
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:33,205
No, you haven't.
1267
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,888
Oh, my God,
my hair, it looks awful.
1268
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:41,531
Doesn't Mommy's hair look pretty?
1269
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,364
- No. Next slide, please.
- Oh, okay.
1270
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,286
- Slides. Fun.
- Aw...
1271
00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:48,370
Cool. You guys climbed that?
1272
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:51,285
Yuck. Why are you guys kissing
in every single picture?
1273
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:53,568
Oh, Mommy used to kiss Daddy a lot.
1274
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:55,370
Married people kiss a lot.
1275
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:56,646
Ready?
1276
00:54:56,720 --> 00:54:58,510
Wow, China.
1277
00:54:58,320 --> 00:54:59,890
I loved it there.
1278
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,281
Dylan, you were created right
there on that wall, buddy.
1279
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:04,500
- Really?
- Dusty, that's enough.
1280
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:06,487
Okay, next slide.
1281
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,644
That's where your mom and I met,
doing The King and I in summer stock.
1282
00:55:10,240 --> 00:55:12,891
God, that costume was so tight.
1283
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,243
Next slide, please.
1284
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:17,500
Oh, my God.
1285
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:20,764
Ls that baby me? Mmm-hmm.
1286
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:36,402
All right, you guys, let's,
um, get ready for bed.
1287
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:38,968
- Okay?
- It's story time, Mayron family!
1288
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:42,606
We don't have to wait
for Mr. Whitaker, do we?
1289
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:47,400
I really don't like you,
but that shit is heartbreaking.
1290
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:54,442
Yay! Griff's home!
1291
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:56,325
So the King raised his mighty sword
1292
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:58,607
and rained steel
down upon the Step King.
1293
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:01,280
But the Step King
blocked it with his shield.
1294
00:56:02,120 --> 00:56:04,885
And swung his cat o'nine tails
into the King's smug face.
1295
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:07,611
Which the King easily brushed aside
like the feather of a gull.
1296
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,365
And then the King did counter
with a barrage of slashes
1297
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:13,762
and thrusts so fast and precise
that the Step King had no way to parry.
1298
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:14,887
Yay!
1299
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:17,361
But he did. He did.
He parried all of them.
1300
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,886
- Easily. It was no big deal.
- Aw.
1301
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:22,645
Then he grabbed the King's
sword right out of his hand
1302
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:24,964
and smashed it over his knee.
1303
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:26,167
Boo!
1304
00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:28,846
That's when the King pulled out
a pump-action Mossberg shotgun!
1305
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:30,843
Which is completely anachronistic.
1306
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:34,402
So if we're doing any time period,
then the Step King just happened to be
1307
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,323
wearing Kevlar body armor.
1308
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,244
- Concussion grenade!
- Hand grenade.
1309
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:39,811
- Rocket launcher.
- Missile launcher.
1310
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:41,860
- Air strike.
- Nuclear strike.
1311
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:42,605
- Black hole.
- God.
1312
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,331
We know what this comes down to.
1313
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:47,860
The Step King was very upset
1314
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,830
because when the real King
pulled out his sword,
1315
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:51,243
it was long and shiny,
1316
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:53,402
and the Step King
did shudder at the size of it.
1317
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:57,166
And while the Step King acknowledged
that the King carried a mighty,
1318
00:56:57,240 --> 00:56:58,844
beautifully engraved broadsword,
1319
00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:01,288
all the maidens in the land
1320
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,806
preferred the more average-sized.
1321
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:05,689
Step King's sword because
1322
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:07,286
it knew how to listen.
1323
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:09,164
And the King needs to realize
1324
00:57:09,240 --> 00:57:10,844
he's a guest in his castle
1325
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:13,128
and he better mind his P's and Q's
1326
00:57:13,240 --> 00:57:15,288
because the Step King
has had it up to here
1327
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:16,771
with the King's bullshit!
1328
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,286
Brad said a naughty word.
1329
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:22,126
Kids, I'm so sorry you had to hear
that inappropriate language.
1330
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:23,361
Make sure you tell your mother.
1331
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,160
Brad, can I talk to you
in the hall, please?
1332
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:30,251
Brad, what just
happened in there, man?
1333
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:32,807
Look, the Step King
should not have
1334
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,211
used inappropriate language
1335
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,647
in front of the Prince and Princess,
he admits that.
1336
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:37,721
Why are you still saying it
like that, Brad?
1337
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:38,887
We're out in the hall.
1338
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:41,420
I don't know. I'm upset.
1339
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:42,640
Hold on.
1340
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:44,326
Oh-ho-ho! Hello?
1341
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:46,723
Yeah, Brad's here, he's doing good.
1342
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:48,200
Hey, it's Dr. Francisco.
1343
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:49,805
He wants us all to come in tomorrow.
9:30 work for you?
1344
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:50,920
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Yeah,
1345
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,247
we'll see you then.
All right, bud. Come on, man.
1346
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:55,803
The doctor will be with you in a moment.
1347
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:57,245
Thank you.
1348
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:03,241
Hey, Brad,
1349
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:05,571
whatever happens here,
I just want you to know
1350
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:07,569
that I'm proud of you for doing your best.
1351
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:08,801
- Okay?
- Thank you.
1352
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:12,561
Hello, hello. Okay.
I'm going to cut right to the chase.
1353
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:15,411
Sara, I'm afraid I've got some bad news.
1354
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:17,927
Oh, God. That is
a tough break. I'm sorry.
1355
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,241
Damn, that is a real shame.
My heart is melting.
1356
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:22,400
Yeah, it's a real shame, Sara.
1357
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:23,525
A real shame that
you're gonna have to put up
1358
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:25,110
with Brad here pounding away on you
1359
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:28,244
over and over,
now that he's got a fighting chance
1360
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:29,685
of getting you pregnant.
1361
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:32,162
What? Oh, my God!
1362
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:34,447
- Holy moly!
- Oh, my God.
1363
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:37,401
Hey, Doc, Doc, don't give them
a false sense of hope.
1364
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:40,569
Remember what you said about
the blood flow and the screwy 'nads?
1365
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:42,847
Yeah, well, Brad has you
to thank for that, Dusty.
1366
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,366
Okay, in lab rats,
whenever another alpha male
1367
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:47,204
comes around,
it can spike testosterone,
1368
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:48,566
driving up sperm counts.
1369
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:51,325
Now, no guarantees, okay?
But with my help, Brad,
1370
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:54,131
I think you got enough left in the tank
to make it all the way to baby town.
1371
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:55,361
That's so wonderful. Thank you.
1372
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:57,966
- Thank you so much.
- Of course.
1373
00:58:58,400 --> 00:58:59,963
- Can we give you a hug?
- Oh, yeah. Come on in.
1374
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:02,610
Oh, my gosh.
1375
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,900
- Did not expect this.
- Mmm...
1376
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:22,482
You virile sea snake, you.
1377
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:24,807
- I underestimated you, Brad.
- Yes, you did.
1378
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:28,722
I can finally give Sara everything,
and it feels good.
1379
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,161
Now, listen, this is what you need to do.
1380
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:33,323
You need to go and pee outside
the room that Dusty sleeps in.
1381
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,920
He's gonna smell your urine
and know that
1382
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,446
your virility is not to be taken lightly.
1383
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:41,801
It's good advice.
I did it last year in the lobby.
1384
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:44,880
Oh, I remember. It was a health hazard.
1385
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:45,241
It scared the FedEx guy.
1386
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:47,687
No, I'm going to take
the high road on this one.
1387
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:49,245
Okay, fine, take the high road.
1388
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,510
But jam a baby up in there
as quickly as you can, Brad.
1389
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:54,926
Because, in the end, if Sara
does choose Dusty over you,
1390
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:57,651
he has to be stepdad to your baby.
1391
00:59:57,720 --> 00:59:58,926
How beautiful is that?
1392
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:00,286
Come on, five it.
1393
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:02,931
No. You know, it feels strange
1394
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:06,482
to high-five over the custody
of my unborn child.
1395
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:07,641
I've been on Dusty's team.
1396
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:10,291
I'm trying to jump over
to the winning team Brad.
1397
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:12,249
- Get on this.
- I'd really rather not.
1398
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,125
I'm trying to share a moment
with you here. Please five me.
1399
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,368
It feels... No, thanks.
1400
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:19,860
- Got it!
- Wait. No.
1401
01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:20,446
- Sweet.
- It didn't count.
1402
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:21,601
I love you, Brad.
1403
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:22,960
It's not a binding high-five.
1404
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:24,405
Fat beans in there.
1405
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:26,890
- Dusty?
- Brad.
1406
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:28,765
What can I do for you?
1407
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:31,606
Oh, wow, that's some
impressive up-downs.
1408
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:33,251
Look, uh,
1409
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:37,886
what you did for Sara and me,
1410
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:39,605
that's a life-changer, and.
1411
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,890
I just wanted to say thank you.
1412
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:44,900
And I'm sorry.
1413
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:45,731
Sorry for what?
1414
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:48,282
Well, here's the thing.
1415
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:51,565
I mean, you show up,
1416
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:56,286
here's this guy who's cool and exciting.
1417
01:00:56,600 --> 01:01:01,640
I guess I felt a little competitive, and
slightly insecure, and I start thinking,
1418
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:04,286
well, maybe you want to challenge me.
1419
01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:08,700
But today you proved that
all you really care about
1420
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:09,491
is our family's happiness.
1421
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:10,726
Oh, man.
1422
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:12,291
I'm humbled.
1423
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,129
I mean it. And you know what?
1424
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,800
You're right.
I was challenging you, Brad.
1425
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:18,805
- Yeah?
- The truth?
1426
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:21,529
I see this new man in my kids' life.
1427
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:24,490
He's kind and caring and successful,
and I don't even want to like you.
1428
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:27,561
But I can't help it. I like you, Brad.
1429
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:29,161
Really?
1430
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:31,641
I was determined to push you out
and get my family back.
1431
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:34,366
I was underhanded and
disingenuous about it.
1432
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:35,930
I feel like a monster.
1433
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,923
No. No, no, no.
1434
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:42,968
At the risk of being disrespectful,
I want you to shut your mouth.
1435
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:46,569
You are allowed
to have those feelings. Okay?
1436
01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:49,880
Heck, we're talking about
your own children here, for cripes' sake.
1437
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:52,400
Clean slate?
1438
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:54,131
Absolutely.
1439
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:55,961
Come here.
1440
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,128
You know what's funny?
You're not even sweating,
1441
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:03,243
after doing all those push-ups.
1442
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:04,646
That's exemplary.
1443
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:10,800
Thank you, Dusty.
1444
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:11,161
Thank you, Brad.
1445
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:15,841
Oh, uh...
1446
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:20,449
You know, all that stuff about pushing
me out and taking over my family,
1447
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:22,900
I mean, we're through all that, right?
1448
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:24,403
Oh, no, no, no. I'm here to defeat you
1449
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,289
and take back my family.
That can't change.
1450
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:29,450
But now I'll follow your noble example
and do it above board.
1451
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:32,125
Honestly. Like a man. Like you.
1452
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:35,643
But we just hugged.
You said you like me.
1453
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:37,571
Oh, I do like you, Brad, very much.
1454
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:38,920
It doesn't make this any easier.
1455
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:41,760
You know I'm gonna have to tell Sara
what you said in here today.
1456
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:44,470
Of course.
It would be irresponsible not to.
1457
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:45,964
She's not gonna like it.
She's gonna want you out.
1458
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:47,326
You're right about that, Brad.
1459
01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:48,765
What the hell are you up to?
1460
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:50,365
I just told you what I'm up to.
1461
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:52,562
My head is spinning right now.
1462
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:55,241
Hey, you got any sweet potatoes?
Or yams?
1463
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:56,646
Sweet potatoes or yams?
1464
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:59,166
Griff, you know we have yams, all right?
1465
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:00,969
You made me buy them for you.
1466
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:02,769
I wanted to respect
your house by asking you
1467
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:05,201
before I got them.
I didn't want to just go grab yams.
1468
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:07,169
Okay, I appreciate that.
I'm dealing with something.
1469
01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:09,481
- Just go get the yams.
- All right.
1470
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:11,483
Here's the thing. You're right, Dusty.
1471
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:13,762
Yeah. I'm not going to tell Sara.
1472
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:15,929
But I'm gonna prove to you
that I'm the best.
1473
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:19,204
You can eat my dust, Dusty.
1474
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:38,442
Christmas already?
Why didn't anybody tell me?
1475
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:40,329
It's not. It's the middle of April.
1476
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:44,891
- Daddy must have done this!
- Ho, ho, ho, ho!
1477
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:47,402
No, he didn't.
1478
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:49,610
- Brad.
- Ho, ho!
1479
01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:52,521
Claus is the name.
Santa Claus, if you please.
1480
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:54,369
But this Brad you speak of
1481
01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:56,329
called me all the way up
at the North Pole.
1482
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:59,850
He said his children
were so sad because
1483
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,806
their biological father
had missed so many.
1484
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,161
Christmases and birthdays
1485
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:07,500
and special family holidays,
so he asked me
1486
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:09,731
to come here today so that Dusty
1487
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:11,928
could experience one Christmas
1488
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:13,889
with his kids before he leaves again.
1489
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:15,890
Probably for a long, long time.
1490
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:16,961
Ho, ho, ho!
1491
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:18,485
Can we open presents?
1492
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:20,643
You sure can, little girl.
1493
01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:22,125
I think they're from Brad.
1494
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:24,283
In fact, all the presents are from Brad.
1495
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:27,166
Let's see if any of the
presents are from Dusty.
1496
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:32,449
Nope. Not one present from Dusty.
All from Brad.
1497
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:35,444
Hey, kids, let's not forget
who got you a dog. Remember?
1498
01:04:35,520 --> 01:04:37,363
Hey, Tumor, quit humping Mrs. Claus!
1499
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:41,420
Okay, I am officially worried about you.
1500
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:43,407
Don't worry, Claus hasn't forgotten you.
1501
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:45,921
Huh?
1502
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:47,650
- For me?
- Yeah.
1503
01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:53,442
Oh, my God, honey, it's beautiful.
I love it.
1504
01:04:53,680 --> 01:04:56,968
Wait, no! No! No, no. It's too much.
1505
01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:03,480
Oh, no, it looks like Tumor's
given away Megan's big gift.
1506
01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:11,884
A Pony! A pony! A pony!
1507
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:13,570
I know, it's a pony!
1508
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:15,769
Ho, ho, ho!
1509
01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:18,810
It's a pony, Dusty! A pony!
1510
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:20,245
Can we name her Princess Elsa?
1511
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:23,961
You can name him whatever you want,
because it's yours!
1512
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:25,840
Brad, how can we afford a pony?
1513
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:27,206
Where are we even
going to put that thing?
1514
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:29,601
I can clear out some stable
space in the garage.
1515
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:31,205
Look, it's only half a horse.
1516
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:34,844
Okay? Think of it like
a big dog, only a lot better.
1517
01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:37,368
Oh, What's this? What the heck?
1518
01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:40,848
It's tickets to tonight's
NBA playoff game...
1519
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:42,729
- What?
- Against Dylan's favorite team,
1520
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:44,165
the Los Angeles Lakers?
1521
01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:46,368
Oh, thanks, Brad! You're the coolest!
1522
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:48,500
I love you, Brad!
1523
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:49,691
Not bad.
1524
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:51,600
Not bad at all.
1525
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:53,921
Merry Christmas, Whitaker family!
1526
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:55,366
Christmas?
1527
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:57,890
How long was I asleep for?
1528
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:08,900
- You guys got enough candy?
- Yeah!
1529
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:10,367
Remember, you can have anything
you want, 'cause it's Christmas!
1530
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:12,442
No, it isn't. It's not Christmas, kids.
1531
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:15,484
- All right. Here we are.
- Oh, sick! We're this close?
1532
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:18,404
Yeah. Pretty good, right?
Megan, you sit down right there.
1533
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:20,403
Perfect. Dylan, you sit next to me.
1534
01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:23,171
And, Dusty, I'm so sorry. Yeah.
1535
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,328
I could only get four in a row.
I couldn't get five.
1536
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:27,400
So you're across the aisle,
next to that gentleman.
1537
01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:30,371
All right, guys, I'll be right here.
1538
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:32,500
- We can still chat.
- Bye, Daddy.
1539
01:06:33,600 --> 01:06:37,470
Look, there's Kobe! It's him!
He's right there.
1540
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:40,283
Thank you, Brad, this is the best present
I've ever gotten.
1541
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:42,323
- You are so welcome.
- In my whole life.
1542
01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:44,767
I'm glad to hear it's the
best present you've ever got!
1543
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:47,531
How much did these seats cost?
1544
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:48,886
Not too much.
1545
01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:50,564
Ladies and gentlemen,
let's give a big welcome
1546
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:52,722
to all the kids from Hearts of Courage.
1547
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:55,610
Whoo! Hearts of Courage kids!
1548
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:57,762
Proud of you, you're all miracles!
1549
01:06:58,600 --> 01:06:59,886
Whoo! I love kids!
1550
01:06:59,960 --> 01:07:01,405
All right, honey. That's plenty.
1551
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:03,482
I just get excited
when I'm with my family!
1552
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:06,167
Dusty! Dusty Mayron!
1553
01:07:06,640 --> 01:07:08,483
Marco? Hey!
1554
01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:10,250
What's up, man?
Are you coaching now?
1555
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:11,606
Yeah, I'm the new strength
and conditioning coach.
1556
01:07:11,680 --> 01:07:12,727
- Oh, man.
- Check you out.
1557
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:14,171
Hey, I played ball with him in Italy.
1558
01:07:14,320 --> 01:07:16,163
This is my family. My little guy, Dylan.
1559
01:07:16,280 --> 01:07:17,930
He's the biggest Kobe fan in the world.
1560
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,968
Really? Well, come on down.
I'll introduce you.
1561
01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:21,525
- What?
- What? You hear that?
1562
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:22,687
You want to meet Kobe?
1563
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:23,807
Bring the whole family down.
1564
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:25,291
You guys can sit with the team.
1565
01:07:25,360 --> 01:07:26,407
Hey, this is my little girl, Megan.
1566
01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:28,124
She just invited me to her first
Daddy-Daughter Dance.
1567
01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:29,965
- So sweet.
- What did he just say?
1568
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:33,840
What the hell did he just say?
1569
01:07:33,480 --> 01:07:34,811
Oh, sorry. He's okay.
1570
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:36,689
No, I'm not okay. He's not okay.
1571
01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:38,808
- Honey, you need to calm down.
- No! I'm not gonna calm down.
1572
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:40,860
She asked me first!
1573
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:42,407
And now she's asking him?
No. It's not fair.
1574
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:44,881
You know what, actually, it's very fair.
Okay? She has two dads.
1575
01:07:44,960 --> 01:07:47,120
She wants you both there.
You just have to accept that.
1576
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:49,401
No, I'm not going to accept it. All right?
1577
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:51,801
I do pick-up! I do drop-off!
1578
01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:53,610
Okay, I volunteer at school!
1579
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:55,728
I listen to the tantrums and the crying
1580
01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:59,367
and the soundtrack of Frozen
that's on a goddamn loop all the time!
1581
01:07:59,880 --> 01:08:04,727
And he just waltzes in for a few days,
and now he gets to go as well? No!
1582
01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:07,605
No, she's got to choose.
It's either me or him!
1583
01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:09,440
Megan, you got to choose!
1584
01:08:09,520 --> 01:08:10,601
- You got to choose!
- Hey!
1585
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:12,910
It's the biggest decision of your life!
1586
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:13,161
Hey!
1587
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:16,606
You know what? I'm going to pretend
you're not acting like a crazy person,
1588
01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:18,409
because I know you're very upset.
1589
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,281
But you need to get over yourself. Okay?
1590
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:23,488
Now go down there and
be happy with your kids.
1591
01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:27,201
No! A scalper gouged me 18 grand
for these seats. I'm not leaving them!
1592
01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:29,460
What?
1593
01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:31,288
What did you just say?
1594
01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:34,443
Yeah. Nothing. Let's just... You're right.
1595
01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:37,447
I'm so much more relaxed now.
Thank you.
1596
01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:39,331
Yeah. Let's just go down... Let's just...
1597
01:08:39,400 --> 01:08:40,401
No!
1598
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:43,410
I think you should sit
in your $18,000 seats,
1599
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,888
and think of all the better ways
your family could have used that money.
1600
01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:49,761
Sara.
1601
01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:52,685
The guy from the nuclear sub thing?
1602
01:08:52,760 --> 01:08:54,683
- Mayron! That's him.
- That's the guy?
1603
01:08:54,760 --> 01:08:57,889
Can I get some beers down here?
Can I get five beers?
1604
01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:00,410
Excuse me, some beers!
1605
01:09:37,280 --> 01:09:38,964
What's up, everybody?
1606
01:09:39,320 --> 01:09:42,244
Let's make some noise!
1607
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:43,890
Whoo-hoo!
1608
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:47,328
Tonight, one lucky fan is going to
1609
01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:49,926
get a chance to shoot from half court
1610
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:53,727
to win a family vacation
to Disney World!
1611
01:09:57,160 --> 01:10:00,642
And our lucky fan is sitting in
1612
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:02,961
section 113,
1613
01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:04,890
row 6,
1614
01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:08,727
C-1. Where is he?
Let's see it. Where is he?
1615
01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:10,404
It's me. It's me, I win!
1616
01:10:10,480 --> 01:10:11,845
- There he is.
- I win.
1617
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:15,651
I'm-a make it to Disneyland.
I'm-a make it all right.
1618
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:17,850
- All right, Brad!
- Yay, Brad!
1619
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:18,286
Yay, Brad!
1620
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:20,720
All right, sir, how you doing?
What's your name?
1621
01:10:20,840 --> 01:10:23,161
First off, I love my kids.
1622
01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:25,164
He loves his kids! Let's give it up!
1623
01:10:27,680 --> 01:10:31,200
And if anyone was ever
to do anything to them,
1624
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:33,402
- I would hurt them.
- Okay.
1625
01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:35,842
I would freakin' hurt them!
1626
01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:37,691
Okay.
1627
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,327
This guy over here
is trying to take them!
1628
01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:42,204
Trying to steal my family.
1629
01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:44,204
He doesn't sweat!
1630
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:46,451
Okay, you know what?
Why don't we just shoot...
1631
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:48,363
But I got news for you, buddy!
1632
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:51,291
Last night, while you were sleeping,
1633
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:53,100
I made love to our wife!
1634
01:10:53,320 --> 01:10:54,685
- Okay.
- 'My wife!
1635
01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:57,567
Sara, right over there!
1636
01:10:58,120 --> 01:11:00,900
Took my Wiener out of my pants!
1637
01:11:00,800 --> 01:11:01,969
This is a family event, okay?
1638
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:03,724
- Boo! Boo!
- All right.
1639
01:11:03,880 --> 01:11:05,410
So,
1640
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:08,723
even if Sara does pick you,
you're going to have to be
1641
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,200
the stepdad to my kid!
1642
01:11:11,160 --> 01:11:13,766
You see how you like it! Okay?
1643
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:16,446
Let's get somebody else
down here, all right? Somebody else...
1644
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:18,329
Somebody else is going to win
a family trip!
1645
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:19,731
Give me that ball, you.
1646
01:11:20,400 --> 01:11:23,203
This one's for Dylan and Megan
and Sara and Dylan.
1647
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:25,245
Nothing but net.
1648
01:11:25,560 --> 01:11:27,767
All right, he's going for it!
Nothing but net!
1649
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:37,810
Do-over!
1650
01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:38,890
- That's a do-over!
- No do-over. No.
1651
01:11:38,960 --> 01:11:40,291
It's a do-over!
1652
01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:08,480
I'm so sorry
you had to see that. I'm so sorry.
1653
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:46,520
Hey, kids, why don't you go inside
and put on your pajamas?
1654
01:12:49,840 --> 01:12:52,446
- What are you doing?
- I'm comforting you.
1655
01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:57,880
Sara, look... Sorry, too soon. I know.
1656
01:12:57,160 --> 01:12:59,640
But I just want you to know
that I'm here for you and the kids.
1657
01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:02,331
Oh, really? You want to be
a real parent now? Ls that what this is?
1658
01:13:02,480 --> 01:13:03,606
Absolutely. I'm here now.
1659
01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:05,728
Dusty, I'm working
crazy hours this week.
1660
01:13:05,800 --> 01:13:08,201
With Brad gone, the kids
are gonna have to be dropped off,
1661
01:13:08,320 --> 01:13:10,209
picked up, taken to swimming lessons.
1662
01:13:10,440 --> 01:13:12,886
Dylan has a play date
with Eli on Tuesday,
1663
01:13:12,960 --> 01:13:15,361
and Megan has a dentist
appointment on Friday.
1664
01:13:15,480 --> 01:13:17,801
Sara, I know in the past
I've been unreliable,
1665
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:20,447
but this is a new me. All right?
This is the new Dusty.
1666
01:13:21,520 --> 01:13:24,000
Well, you can't take them
to school on a motorcycle.
1667
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:25,491
- You need a car.
- Done.
1668
01:13:26,680 --> 01:13:27,886
Okay.
1669
01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:32,364
Hey! You're not staying here!
1670
01:13:32,440 --> 01:13:33,851
Are you sure you don't need
company right now?
1671
01:13:33,920 --> 01:13:35,285
I mean, you're going through
a tough transition here.
1672
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:36,850
Be here at 6:30
tomorrow morning.
1673
01:13:36,960 --> 01:13:38,325
Well, can I at least
come in and get my stuff?
1674
01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:39,447
No!
1675
01:13:39,560 --> 01:13:42,166
I'm gonna wait for a while,
in case you change your mind.
1676
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:48,600
Hey.
1677
01:13:48,720 --> 01:13:49,767
Oh...
1678
01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:51,444
What did you throw Griff out for?
1679
01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:54,844
This place is chaotic.
1680
01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:56,964
There's always some bullshit
going on in that house.
1681
01:13:57,400 --> 01:13:59,880
God, man.
Want to go to the Red Roof Inn?
1682
01:13:59,200 --> 01:14:00,247
Let's do it.
1683
01:14:00,560 --> 01:14:01,686
Is that Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
1684
01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:03,910
Yes, sir.
1685
01:14:27,640 --> 01:14:29,130
Okay. No running!
1686
01:14:29,200 --> 01:14:31,567
All right. Lindsey! Sloane!
Car's open right down there!
1687
01:14:31,680 --> 01:14:35,480
Okay, sir, inside the cones!
Just like ice cream!
1688
01:14:35,560 --> 01:14:36,766
Keep it inside...
1689
01:14:36,840 --> 01:14:38,330
That's right! Thank you.
1690
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:47,329
Hi. I see you've been picking up
Megan and Dylan these past few days.
1691
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:48,890
Should I expect you from now on?
1692
01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:51,327
Um, yeah, I'm their real dad,
so yeah, from now on.
1693
01:14:51,480 --> 01:14:53,209
Terrific. I see that you also
1694
01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:55,362
haven't signed up to
volunteer in the lane.
1695
01:14:55,440 --> 01:14:58,910
Brad was so good about
helping us out in the lane,
1696
01:14:58,240 --> 01:14:59,924
in the classroom, PTA, and so forth.
1697
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,321
We could always count on him
for bake sales, Spring Sing,
1698
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:04,402
costumes for Winter Pageant.
You know the drill.
1699
01:15:04,520 --> 01:15:06,409
I hope I can count on you
to be the new Brad.
1700
01:15:06,840 --> 01:15:08,604
Ah, sure, yeah. You can count on me.
1701
01:15:08,720 --> 01:15:11,371
I mean, I'm their real dad,
so, yeah, I'll be here every day.
1702
01:15:11,440 --> 01:15:14,205
Great. So, if your kids aren't out here,
I'm gonna need you to circle around
1703
01:15:14,320 --> 01:15:15,367
to the back of the line. Okay?
1704
01:15:15,440 --> 01:15:17,363
- No, I can't go around.
- Thanks.
1705
01:15:17,440 --> 01:15:18,805
I came ten minutes early
so I don't have to...
1706
01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:20,928
If your kids aren't here,
you have to go around!
1707
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:22,849
I know. There's somebody
in front of me. Okay?
1708
01:15:22,920 --> 01:15:23,921
Just go around!
1709
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:26,202
I can't just go over the
cones! I'm boxed in here!
1710
01:15:26,280 --> 01:15:27,964
- Go around!
- No, you can't! Okay?
1711
01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:29,531
She said stay in the cone,
like ice cream!
1712
01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:31,170
Go around!
1713
01:15:31,280 --> 01:15:32,441
Inside the cones!
1714
01:15:32,720 --> 01:15:34,131
Amanda has got a recital!
1715
01:15:34,240 --> 01:15:36,811
I have to get there! You need to go!
1716
01:15:42,520 --> 01:15:44,363
Hey!
1717
01:15:44,440 --> 01:15:46,886
We always stay inside the cones!
1718
01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:49,442
Cones!
1719
01:15:50,160 --> 01:15:52,490
Cones! Come on!
1720
01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:59,770
Have you been living here
for the last few days, Brad?
1721
01:15:59,960 --> 01:16:00,961
No.
1722
01:16:01,800 --> 01:16:06,169
Then what's with the blankets
and the hot plate
1723
01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:07,926
and the B.O.?
1724
01:16:08,480 --> 01:16:11,211
I crapped in the wastebasket.
1725
01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:15,641
You know, Brad, two years
into my thing with Charlene,
1726
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:18,844
her first husband showed up.
Oriental fellow.
1727
01:16:19,120 --> 01:16:22,100
You can't say that.
You cannot say "Oriental."
1728
01:16:22,120 --> 01:16:26,125
His name was Yu or Wu.
It could have been Javier.
1729
01:16:26,480 --> 01:16:29,848
Anyway, I get off early one day,
get home, and
1730
01:16:30,120 --> 01:16:32,202
there he is, stark naked in our bed.
1731
01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:33,726
I didn't know what to think.
1732
01:16:33,800 --> 01:16:36,485
Really? You didn't know what to think?
1733
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:40,200
Six months later,
I wake up in a Chinese prison
1734
01:16:40,360 --> 01:16:42,567
with a tattoo on my lower back
1735
01:16:42,680 --> 01:16:44,842
of a golf ball rolling
towards my butthole.
1736
01:16:45,160 --> 01:16:47,128
I can't hear these stories anymore.
1737
01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:49,168
I'm sorry. I know they're
supposed to help...
1738
01:16:49,360 --> 01:16:51,362
Griff! What are you doing here?
1739
01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:53,808
Thought you should know
Dusty came by the bar earlier.
1740
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:56,123
He was talking about how
he can't do the daddy thing.
1741
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:57,640
I tried to talk some sense into him,
1742
01:16:57,680 --> 01:16:59,444
but he seemed determined
to get out of town.
1743
01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:00,521
What, he's leaving?
1744
01:17:00,640 --> 01:17:03,450
I don't think I have to tell you,
but little Megan's dance is tonight,
1745
01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:05,160
and she's not going to have a daddy.
1746
01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:08,500
That's fantastic. Brad, you win.
1747
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:11,647
And Dusty, because of
an act of cowardice, loses.
1748
01:17:12,400 --> 01:17:13,883
I mean, you're the daddy again.
1749
01:17:14,200 --> 01:17:15,884
Come on, hit that.
1750
01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:22,500
No, I'm not her daddy.
1751
01:17:23,720 --> 01:17:26,246
I wish more than anything I was,
1752
01:17:27,520 --> 01:17:28,567
but I'm not.
1753
01:17:28,840 --> 01:17:33,243
Yeah, you're right, Brad. A real dad
wouldn't give up on his kids so easy.
1754
01:17:42,560 --> 01:17:43,561
Griff!
1755
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:45,603
Wait!
1756
01:17:45,920 --> 01:17:47,410
He's still in the room, Brad.
1757
01:17:47,760 --> 01:17:49,250
Oh, hey.
1758
01:17:49,720 --> 01:17:51,927
Sorry. I thought you stormed out.
1759
01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:55,881
What you said sounded like a storm-out,
and then I heard the door close.
1760
01:17:56,800 --> 01:17:57,844
I just thought that shit
was getting kind of personal,
1761
01:17:57,920 --> 01:17:59,604
so it'd be good to close the door.
1762
01:17:59,880 --> 01:18:03,248
So extremely thoughtful.
Thank you. Yeah.
1763
01:18:03,440 --> 01:18:06,922
And just so you know
where my head was at,
1764
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:09,367
I was going to chase you
down the hallway. Right?
1765
01:18:09,920 --> 01:18:12,844
You'd hear my footsteps and you're like,
"ls someone after... What's going on?"
1766
01:18:12,920 --> 01:18:17,130
Boom! It's me, and I'm like, "Griff, hey!"
1767
01:18:17,440 --> 01:18:18,726
"You were right."
1768
01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:22,282
Holy shit! That would be so uplifting.
1769
01:18:23,440 --> 01:18:24,441
Can we do that?
1770
01:18:25,440 --> 01:18:27,681
Griff, can you storm out, and Brad,
you go after him?
1771
01:18:27,760 --> 01:18:29,683
I don't really want any part of that.
1772
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:32,201
That sounds like pure nonsense to me.
1773
01:18:32,280 --> 01:18:34,567
I don't want... I'd rather not.
1774
01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:37,281
We could just try it, you know?
1775
01:18:37,480 --> 01:18:41,121
No, that sounds forced
and weird to try to
1776
01:18:41,480 --> 01:18:44,510
recreate something.
Not even recreate.
1777
01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:46,122
It would be creating. It didn't happen.
1778
01:18:46,480 --> 01:18:48,164
It's over-discussed at this point.
1779
01:18:48,440 --> 01:18:49,407
Shouldn't you go see your kid?
1780
01:18:49,480 --> 01:18:50,970
- Yeah. Yeah.
- All right.
1781
01:18:51,280 --> 01:18:52,805
You guys go. Brad, can I come?
1782
01:18:52,920 --> 01:18:53,921
No.
1783
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:09,163
Daddy's not coming, is he?
1784
01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:13,600
Oh, honey, he'll be here. He promised.
1785
01:19:14,600 --> 01:19:16,648
I see cupcakes over there.
1786
01:19:17,440 --> 01:19:19,966
I think you should go eat some. Go on.
1787
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:22,525
Go eat a lot of sugar.
1788
01:19:37,960 --> 01:19:38,961
Dusty.
1789
01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:42,361
- Nope.
- Come on, Dusty.
1790
01:19:42,680 --> 01:19:43,761
Where are you going?
1791
01:19:43,880 --> 01:19:46,167
I'd pay a billion dollars
to take her to that dance.
1792
01:19:46,240 --> 01:19:48,800
- You're just gonna leave?
- You take her then.
1793
01:19:48,160 --> 01:19:50,447
I can't take her. Okay?
I'm not welcome after I said
1794
01:19:50,520 --> 01:19:52,124
I was gonna put a spite baby
in her mother.
1795
01:19:52,200 --> 01:19:54,123
- I guess that's out, then.
- Yeah, that is out.
1796
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:56,430
So it's gotta be you.
1797
01:19:56,360 --> 01:19:59,250
I'm sorry, Brad,
I just can't do it, all right?
1798
01:19:59,320 --> 01:20:00,765
What do you mean, you can't do it?
1799
01:20:00,840 --> 01:20:02,683
I can't stay inside the cones.
1800
01:20:02,760 --> 01:20:04,842
Look, Dusty, the cones are
there for everyone's safety.
1801
01:20:04,920 --> 01:20:07,605
- It's not about the cones.
- You just said it was.
1802
01:20:07,680 --> 01:20:09,125
The cones are a metaphor, Brad.
1803
01:20:09,240 --> 01:20:11,322
I'm not the domestic type, okay?
1804
01:20:11,800 --> 01:20:13,245
Dusty, come on.
What are you talking about?
1805
01:20:13,320 --> 01:20:15,561
You're organized, you're handy.
1806
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:18,700
You make the best cinnamon rolls
I have ever tasted.
1807
01:20:18,800 --> 01:20:19,320
Those were Cinnabons, Brad. Come on.
1808
01:20:19,400 --> 01:20:21,289
You can't make rolls like that
in a conventional oven.
1809
01:20:21,360 --> 01:20:24,728
I knew it! I knew it.
I knew it from the beginning!
1810
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:26,651
So you've been telling
some tall tales, huh?
1811
01:20:26,720 --> 01:20:29,410
- All that Special Ops stuff.
- No, just the Cinnabons!
1812
01:20:29,120 --> 01:20:30,770
Why would you lie about Cinnabons?
1813
01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:32,683
'Cause I wanted to win. All right?
1814
01:20:32,760 --> 01:20:35,410
I wanted to prove that
I was a good dad, too, but I'm not.
1815
01:20:35,800 --> 01:20:37,401
Okay? Are you happy?
Is that what you want to hear?
1816
01:20:37,520 --> 01:20:39,761
All the noise and the mess
and all the choices.
1817
01:20:39,840 --> 01:20:41,330
You do one thing wrong,
you can screw them up for life.
1818
01:20:41,440 --> 01:20:44,171
- Do you realize that?
- Yeah.
1819
01:20:44,600 --> 01:20:45,965
Dads have to make
a lot of choices, okay?
1820
01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:47,246
And we blow most of them.
1821
01:20:47,360 --> 01:20:48,521
Yeah, and the other parents.
1822
01:20:48,600 --> 01:20:51,524
That kid, Eli. I was over there
for a play date. You know about this?
1823
01:20:51,600 --> 01:20:53,364
You can't just ride your bike
over to a friend's house,
1824
01:20:53,440 --> 01:20:54,441
to play Hot Wheels anymore,
1825
01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:55,851
now you got to make some kind of date?
1826
01:20:55,920 --> 01:20:57,331
- I know, it's a shame.
- Well, I'm over there,
1827
01:20:57,440 --> 01:20:59,520
and the kid's dad keeps
asking me if Dylan's gonna be
1828
01:20:59,560 --> 01:21:00,721
in the gifted program with Eli.
1829
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:02,768
Like Dylan isn't as smart as
his little ball-scratcher kid.
1830
01:21:02,840 --> 01:21:04,604
I wanted to murder that smug prick.
1831
01:21:04,680 --> 01:21:07,889
Dusty, look, I hate that guy, too, okay?
1832
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:10,611
But his son is Dylan's best friend,
so you suck it up.
1833
01:21:11,880 --> 01:21:17,910
I mean, that's most of
what dads do, is take shit.
1834
01:21:17,160 --> 01:21:19,830
I mean, that's what we do.
1835
01:21:19,200 --> 01:21:22,440
I can't do it, Brad.
I can't take shit like you do.
1836
01:21:22,120 --> 01:21:24,327
You take shit better than
anyone I've ever met,
1837
01:21:24,440 --> 01:21:26,568
and I mean that as a compliment
from the bottom of my heart.
1838
01:21:26,680 --> 01:21:28,409
- Thank you.
- But I'm sorry, Brad. I can't.
1839
01:21:28,480 --> 01:21:30,130
I can't do it, man.
1840
01:21:30,200 --> 01:21:32,320
You made a promise to Megan,
and you're gonna keep it.
1841
01:21:37,120 --> 01:21:38,406
Ow!
1842
01:21:41,240 --> 01:21:43,830
Did you just punch me
in the face, Brad?
1843
01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:44,201
Ow, yes.
1844
01:21:44,560 --> 01:21:47,600
Knowing full well I got no choice
but to bust you up now?
1845
01:21:47,240 --> 01:21:48,844
I really wish you wouldn't.
1846
01:21:49,320 --> 01:21:51,846
If I did, you'd take that beatdown
for those kids, wouldn't you?
1847
01:21:53,640 --> 01:21:56,166
Yeah. Yeah, I would.
1848
01:22:04,760 --> 01:22:07,100
- Come on.
- Good luck, Dusty.
1849
01:22:07,440 --> 01:22:09,900
What? No, no, you gotta come.
1850
01:22:09,760 --> 01:22:13,651
It's just... I can't see Sara
after what I said.
1851
01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:15,848
Sara loves you, Brad. All right?
I know just what to say to her.
1852
01:22:15,920 --> 01:22:17,684
You just stand there
and look lost without her.
1853
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:19,922
- I am lost without her.
- Well, that's good. Then let's go.
1854
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:22,731
- But I look terrible.
- Yeah, you do. Come here.
1855
01:22:22,840 --> 01:22:24,808
- What are you doing?
- I'm fixing you up, man.
1856
01:22:27,120 --> 01:22:28,724
Dusty, get your hands out of my pants.
1857
01:22:28,800 --> 01:22:31,121
Calm down. Think I want to
touch your little dinky?
1858
01:22:31,200 --> 01:22:32,326
I'm trying to fix you up.
1859
01:22:33,680 --> 01:22:35,450
All right. Let me see.
1860
01:22:37,120 --> 01:22:39,646
Wow. I look great.
1861
01:22:39,720 --> 01:22:41,510
Here you go.
1862
01:22:41,120 --> 01:22:43,122
- That's incredible.
- Come on.
1863
01:22:49,120 --> 01:22:50,724
Hey, pumpkin.
1864
01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:54,486
Daddy wanted to be here,
I know he did. He just gets...
1865
01:23:07,520 --> 01:23:08,851
Whoa, whoa, whoa... Uh-oh.
1866
01:23:09,800 --> 01:23:10,923
She's doing her arms-folded thing.
1867
01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:15,562
You said she'd smile.
Maybe even start a slow clap.
1868
01:23:15,640 --> 01:23:17,244
Don't worry, I got this. Okay? Come on.
1869
01:23:18,000 --> 01:23:21,322
Oh, hey, look, it's the guy that
stranded his kids at school.
1870
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:22,840
And look who he's with.
1871
01:23:22,920 --> 01:23:24,843
Did you get anybody pregnant
on your way over here, Brad?
1872
01:23:24,920 --> 01:23:26,100
No, I didn't.
1873
01:23:26,800 --> 01:23:27,605
- Sara, listen...
- No!
1874
01:23:27,720 --> 01:23:29,609
- Sara, please.
- No. I am not going to listen to you.
1875
01:23:29,680 --> 01:23:32,763
You know what? Your daughter's been
sitting there for two hours, heartbroken.
1876
01:23:32,840 --> 01:23:35,161
Sara, I am so sorry...
1877
01:23:35,440 --> 01:23:39,206
Oh, just, please. Will one of you idiots
just ask your daughter to dance?
1878
01:23:39,440 --> 01:23:40,771
- Really?
- Yes.
1879
01:23:41,200 --> 01:23:43,771
Neither one of you deserves her,
but yes.
1880
01:23:46,520 --> 01:23:48,284
- Go ahead, Dusty.
- No, you take the first one.
1881
01:23:48,360 --> 01:23:49,486
You've earned it more than I have.
1882
01:23:49,560 --> 01:23:51,130
Dusty, please, she's your daughter.
1883
01:23:51,200 --> 01:23:52,326
What the hell did I miss?
1884
01:23:53,520 --> 01:23:57,366
I'll tell you what. I'll vouch for you
to the kids and I'll take the first dance.
1885
01:23:57,440 --> 01:24:00,460
I'll say my good-byes,
and then I'll get out of your hair.
1886
01:24:02,400 --> 01:24:04,566
Wait, wait. When you say
"get out of your hair,"
1887
01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:06,802
you mean leave,
like leave-leave? Tonight?
1888
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:09,565
Daddy! Brad!
The fourth graders are here.
1889
01:24:09,640 --> 01:24:11,404
They're picking on Dylan again.
1890
01:24:11,720 --> 01:24:13,882
That's it.
Those little shitheads are dead.
1891
01:24:13,960 --> 01:24:15,860
Where are they?
1892
01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:18,200
Those are the fourth graders?
1893
01:24:18,240 --> 01:24:20,846
- They're girls.
- Uh-huh. They're so mean.
1894
01:24:20,960 --> 01:24:22,724
Why are you even here at
the Daddy-Daughter Dance?
1895
01:24:22,800 --> 01:24:24,450
Are you a daughter? Are you a girl?
1896
01:24:24,520 --> 01:24:27,569
Are you too scared to take me on
without your little friends?
1897
01:24:27,640 --> 01:24:29,244
- Oh, no, he's calling out the big one.
- Oh-oh.
1898
01:24:29,320 --> 01:24:30,321
Oh, no, no, no.
1899
01:24:31,560 --> 01:24:32,561
Come on!
1900
01:24:33,120 --> 01:24:34,201
Dylan!
1901
01:24:34,840 --> 01:24:36,171
Yes!
1902
01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:39,850
- Dylan, what are you doing?
- Did you see? Did you see?
1903
01:24:39,160 --> 01:24:40,605
I punched her in the face,
just like you taught me.
1904
01:24:40,720 --> 01:24:42,449
- What?
- And then I kicked her right in the nuts.
1905
01:24:42,520 --> 01:24:44,450
You like that, bitch? Huh?
1906
01:24:44,160 --> 01:24:45,800
- No, no, no!
- You want some more, bitch?
1907
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:48,401
Sweetheart, what happened?
What's going on here?
1908
01:24:48,520 --> 01:24:50,900
He punched me in the face.
1909
01:24:50,200 --> 01:24:51,929
Then he kicked me in the swimsuit area.
1910
01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:53,843
Then he called me the "B" word.
1911
01:24:53,920 --> 01:24:55,810
Who did, him?
1912
01:24:55,160 --> 01:24:57,490
He did. I saw it.
He said they taught him to hit girls.
1913
01:24:57,160 --> 01:24:59,367
No, no. We thought
your daughter was a boy.
1914
01:24:59,480 --> 01:25:00,925
- What?
- No, what he means is that
1915
01:25:01,000 --> 01:25:02,843
Dylan told us that a fourth grader
was picking on him,
1916
01:25:02,920 --> 01:25:04,285
but he didn't tell us it was a girl.
1917
01:25:04,360 --> 01:25:06,761
Yeah, and if you had, we'd have told you
it's never okay to hit a girl.
1918
01:25:06,840 --> 01:25:07,921
And that she's probably
only bugging you
1919
01:25:08,400 --> 01:25:09,200
because she likes you, buddy.
1920
01:25:09,360 --> 01:25:11,124
I do not like him.
1921
01:25:11,360 --> 01:25:12,771
Oh, I think she likes him.
1922
01:25:12,840 --> 01:25:14,524
Ah, gross, whatever.
1923
01:25:14,640 --> 01:25:16,500
She totally does.
1924
01:25:16,800 --> 01:25:17,411
Are you calling my daughter a whore?
1925
01:25:17,480 --> 01:25:19,130
- What?
- They were implying it, Jerry.
1926
01:25:19,200 --> 01:25:20,360
Wait. That's quite a stretch.
1927
01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:22,602
Mrs. Troy, please. I got this.
1928
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:25,161
Wait, first of all, which one
of you two is the kid's dad?
1929
01:25:25,280 --> 01:25:26,361
They both are.
1930
01:25:27,640 --> 01:25:29,642
Oh, my gosh. Wow!
1931
01:25:30,400 --> 01:25:33,203
I'm sorry. That's the first time
he's ever referred to me as Dad.
1932
01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:35,564
It's something I've wanted
to hear for a long time,
1933
01:25:35,680 --> 01:25:37,444
so it's a bit poignant.
1934
01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:39,682
I tend to cry a lot
1935
01:25:40,400 --> 01:25:43,487
when things get emotional.
They tease me all the time.
1936
01:25:43,560 --> 01:25:45,324
- I'm actually the stepdad.
- Oh, is that right?
1937
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:46,731
So you're the real dad, huh!
1938
01:25:47,640 --> 01:25:49,369
Hey. You don't want to
embarrass yourself, buddy.
1939
01:25:49,440 --> 01:25:51,204
You threatening me now, tough guy?
1940
01:25:51,280 --> 01:25:53,521
- He's threatening you, Jerry.
- Nobody's threatening anybody.
1941
01:25:53,640 --> 01:25:55,210
But you're gonna want to
back that up, Jerry.
1942
01:25:55,280 --> 01:25:56,805
And you, Squidward tie.
Quit being an instigator,
1943
01:25:56,920 --> 01:25:58,560
or I'm gonna have to
rap you in the mouth.
1944
01:25:59,720 --> 01:26:01,848
Hey, hey, hey. Everyone just calm down.
1945
01:26:01,920 --> 01:26:03,280
We're at the Daddy-Daughter Dance.
1946
01:26:03,360 --> 01:26:05,440
You stay out of it, all right?
You don't count!
1947
01:26:05,120 --> 01:26:06,690
I want to talk to the real dad here.
1948
01:26:06,800 --> 01:26:08,928
Hey, Brad here is more of
a real dad than any of us.
1949
01:26:09,000 --> 01:26:10,604
You ever want to see
how you should be raising your kids,
1950
01:26:10,680 --> 01:26:11,761
go look at this guy.
1951
01:26:12,520 --> 01:26:15,171
Here I go again. What did I tell you?
1952
01:26:15,840 --> 01:26:18,844
- Really? You mean that?
- Yes, I do, Brad.
1953
01:26:18,920 --> 01:26:20,100
You're a great dad.
1954
01:26:23,280 --> 01:26:24,406
- Like that?
- You shouldn't have done that.
1955
01:26:24,480 --> 01:26:25,641
Yeah? Why?
1956
01:26:25,720 --> 01:26:27,400
I'm pretty sure he kills people for a job.
1957
01:26:27,680 --> 01:26:31,200
He's been rather vague with me,
but that's what I'm kind of surmising.
1958
01:26:31,200 --> 01:26:32,725
- Are we gonna do this?
- Oh, we're gonna do it.
1959
01:26:32,800 --> 01:26:34,370
- Okay. You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
1960
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:36,124
- This is what you get.
- Daddy.
1961
01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:48,131
Want another one? Come on in.
1962
01:26:51,440 --> 01:26:52,646
What's going on?
1963
01:26:55,280 --> 01:26:56,770
Is this like some UFC shit?
1964
01:26:56,880 --> 01:26:57,881
Come on, Brad.
1965
01:26:57,960 --> 01:26:59,320
That's right. It's a dance, Jerry.
1966
01:26:59,400 --> 01:27:01,721
Yeah. So dance, Jerry!
1967
01:27:06,720 --> 01:27:09,963
Yeah! You just got served, Jerry!
1968
01:27:10,400 --> 01:27:11,883
You just got a piping hot serving.
1969
01:27:11,960 --> 01:27:14,691
I'm not getting served.
You're getting sewed!
1970
01:27:14,760 --> 01:27:18,242
You don't know this about me, Jerry,
but I like to move my body.
1971
01:27:19,880 --> 01:27:21,530
Get it, Brad!
1972
01:27:27,160 --> 01:27:28,571
Yeah! Yeah, Brad!
1973
01:27:32,760 --> 01:27:34,603
This is a dance! Let's go!
1974
01:27:52,680 --> 01:27:54,523
Am I the only one with my shirt off?
1975
01:27:56,760 --> 01:27:58,285
You know you can't leave, right?
1976
01:27:58,680 --> 01:27:59,681
You want me to stay?
1977
01:27:59,800 --> 01:28:02,280
These guys are growing up so fast.
You don't want to miss it.
1978
01:28:03,760 --> 01:28:05,364
You're sweating profusely.
1979
01:28:05,600 --> 01:28:07,967
- I know. I sweat a lot.
- That's cool.
1980
01:28:09,960 --> 01:28:11,410
Thank you.
1981
01:28:43,920 --> 01:28:45,604
So Dusty did stay.
1982
01:28:46,240 --> 01:28:47,685
And with the huge amount of money
1983
01:28:47,800 --> 01:28:49,643
he was making as
the voice of The Panda,
1984
01:28:49,760 --> 01:28:51,460
he built his own new castle
1985
01:28:51,120 --> 01:28:52,610
right down the street.
1986
01:28:53,760 --> 01:28:54,921
Hey!
1987
01:28:55,520 --> 01:28:58,410
But we kept Tumor because he didn't
get along with Dusty's new puppy.
1988
01:29:00,920 --> 01:29:02,922
It turns out Tumor was only five...
1989
01:29:03,200 --> 01:29:04,690
so we're going to have him
1990
01:29:04,760 --> 01:29:06,410
for a long, long time.
1991
01:29:06,600 --> 01:29:08,523
Tumor!
1992
01:29:08,760 --> 01:29:10,444
And I was more than a little surprised
1993
01:29:10,560 --> 01:29:13,564
when Dusty showed up one day
with his new wife
1994
01:29:14,280 --> 01:29:15,441
and his new stepdaughter.
1995
01:29:15,720 --> 01:29:17,404
This is my stepdaughter, Adriana.
1996
01:29:17,480 --> 01:29:19,200
- Hey, Adriana. I'm Brad.
- Want to go play?
1997
01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:21,489
That's your brother and sister.
You guys play nice, okay?
1998
01:29:21,560 --> 01:29:22,846
Hey, hon. Who's at the door?
1999
01:29:22,960 --> 01:29:24,689
Oh, hey, Sara. This is my wife, Karen.
2000
01:29:24,760 --> 01:29:26,444
Oh, is it... Your wife?
2001
01:29:26,960 --> 01:29:30,521
That Karen, wow, she is so great.
2002
01:29:30,600 --> 01:29:32,170
It turns out she's
2003
01:29:32,280 --> 01:29:35,762
a doctor and a celebrated
novelist. I mean...
2004
01:29:36,280 --> 01:29:37,441
Hon, would you...
2005
01:29:37,800 --> 01:29:41,282
- Come here, Griff. Come here, Griff. Oh!
- He's so cute.
2006
01:29:41,800 --> 01:29:45,168
And I was so surprised when
I found out that we're the same age.
2007
01:29:46,120 --> 01:29:48,327
I mean, she looks so young, right?
2008
01:29:48,920 --> 01:29:50,460
Good for her!
2009
01:29:50,120 --> 01:29:52,430
Honey, you look amazing tonight.
2010
01:29:52,120 --> 01:29:53,565
What are you talking about?
2011
01:29:53,640 --> 01:29:55,961
It's just my normal clothes.
That's how I look.
2012
01:29:56,400 --> 01:29:57,724
I just got ready really fast.
2013
01:29:58,240 --> 01:30:00,129
Hey, Griff. Hey, little Griffy.
2014
01:30:00,240 --> 01:30:01,401
You want to come to Daddy?
2015
01:30:01,480 --> 01:30:03,323
What, you think I'm going to
pick his pockets or something?
2016
01:30:03,400 --> 01:30:05,400
- No.
- He doesn't carry a wallet.
2017
01:30:05,800 --> 01:30:06,730
Oh, sweetie, be careful
with that knife, okay?
2018
01:30:06,800 --> 01:30:07,801
You're not my dad.
2019
01:30:08,920 --> 01:30:09,921
Brad was right.
2020
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:11,570
Being a stepdad isn't always easy.
2021
01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:14,810
But he was also right that it's worth it.
2022
01:30:14,240 --> 01:30:16,402
And he was right about
the Ford Flex, too.
2023
01:30:16,560 --> 01:30:18,850
It's a great family car.
2024
01:30:18,160 --> 01:30:21,323
Got plenty of room for the kids,
gear, and plenty of pickup for me.
2025
01:30:21,520 --> 01:30:23,100
I got the Weekender package.
2026
01:30:23,800 --> 01:30:24,923
A few more bells and
whistles than Brad's,
2027
01:30:25,800 --> 01:30:26,684
but Brad doesn't need to know that.
2028
01:30:28,160 --> 01:30:29,161
Daddy!
2029
01:30:31,520 --> 01:30:33,363
Sweetie, I've been waiting for you to...
2030
01:30:52,280 --> 01:30:54,601
- Did you just gulp?
- No.
2031
01:30:54,960 --> 01:30:55,961
I heard a gulp.
2032
01:30:56,120 --> 01:30:57,451
Well, a little bit, maybe.
2033
01:30:57,800 --> 01:30:58,961
- Sure.
- There you are.
2034
01:30:59,280 --> 01:31:00,645
He's a lot bigger than you.
2035
01:31:00,960 --> 01:31:03,281
He's got legs for arms.
2036
01:31:03,640 --> 01:31:05,130
Little star, guess what?
2037
01:31:05,360 --> 01:31:07,440
I like him. I like him a lot.
2038
01:31:07,280 --> 01:31:09,282
Yeah. I bet you he's
going to like us, too.
2039
01:31:09,560 --> 01:31:10,840
- Remember, Loving Fence.
- Yeah.
2040
01:31:10,880 --> 01:31:11,961
Just go say hi.
2041
01:31:12,320 --> 01:31:14,971
Yeah, look, I got this, buddy. Watch.
2042
01:31:15,440 --> 01:31:16,726
Hey. You must be Roger.
2043
01:31:16,880 --> 01:31:17,961
Nope.
2044
01:34:24,720 --> 01:34:27,326
One-oh-three-point-six.
2045
01:34:27,400 --> 01:34:29,607
The Panda!
2046
01:34:29,720 --> 01:34:32,849
Caught Kenny G.
At the United Center this weekend.
2047
01:34:32,920 --> 01:34:34,331
Man, can that guy put on a show.
2048
01:34:34,400 --> 01:34:37,529
20,000 people on their feet
for the entire four hours.
2049
01:34:37,600 --> 01:34:38,840
You're listening to Jason Sinclair.
2050
01:34:38,920 --> 01:34:40,206
This is The Panda.