1
00:00:01,228 --> 00:00:03,585
- Here we go.
- ADULT SHELDON: For many kids,
2
00:00:03,588 --> 00:00:06,551
Christmas morning wasthe most
exciting day of the year.
3
00:00:06,554 --> 00:00:09,575
That's only because most
kids don't know the joy
4
00:00:09,578 --> 00:00:12,500
of getting their college midterms back.
5
00:00:12,503 --> 00:00:15,704
It also didn't hurt that Dr.
Sturgis looked like an elf.
6
00:00:15,707 --> 00:00:17,499
("DECK THE HALLS" PLAYING)
7
00:00:17,502 --> 00:00:20,240
Nice work, Sheldon.
8
00:00:20,243 --> 00:00:21,976
Now,
9
00:00:21,979 --> 00:00:25,614
you'll notice that your
grades are lower than expected.
10
00:00:25,617 --> 00:00:28,978
That's because Sheldon did so well,
11
00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:30,513
he broke the curve,
12
00:00:30,515 --> 00:00:33,984
turning your A's and
B's into B's and C's.
13
00:00:37,989 --> 00:00:39,823
They don't seem happy about it.
14
00:00:40,591 --> 00:00:42,425
Maybe you can give them candy.
15
00:00:42,428 --> 00:00:43,770
(BELLS JINGLING)
16
00:00:43,773 --> 00:00:46,662
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
17
00:00:46,664 --> 00:00:49,532
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
18
00:00:49,534 --> 00:00:52,312
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
19
00:00:52,315 --> 00:00:55,337
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
20
00:00:55,340 --> 00:01:01,710
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
21
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:05,223
DALE: Okay. This is where
I spend all my time,
22
00:01:05,226 --> 00:01:08,520
yet somehow my ex-wife owns half of it.
23
00:01:08,523 --> 00:01:10,886
Mm, not bitter at all. Good for you.
24
00:01:10,888 --> 00:01:14,192
We got baseball over here
and got football right there
25
00:01:14,195 --> 00:01:16,225
and then hunting and
fishing in the back.
26
00:01:16,227 --> 00:01:17,895
Oh, yeah.
27
00:01:17,898 --> 00:01:20,160
And this hockey puck has been here
28
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,196
since Jimmy Carter was president.
29
00:01:22,199 --> 00:01:24,266
You'd think a sport with
a bunch of white boys
30
00:01:24,268 --> 00:01:27,936
beating each other up would
be more popular in Texas.
31
00:01:27,938 --> 00:01:31,073
- (CHUCKLES)
- So, you want to head out?
32
00:01:31,075 --> 00:01:34,276
Oh, my grandson's been
wanting some weights.
33
00:01:34,278 --> 00:01:35,811
Sheldon?
34
00:01:35,813 --> 00:01:38,947
Hell, can't he just lift
a soup can or something?
35
00:01:38,949 --> 00:01:41,583
The other grandson. The
pretty one with the hair.
36
00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:43,752
Ah. All right. Well, send him by.
37
00:01:43,754 --> 00:01:45,840
We'll give him the family
and friends discount.
38
00:01:45,843 --> 00:01:47,289
How big a discount?
39
00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:51,293
Well, uh, depends on, uh,
how much fun we have tonight.
40
00:01:51,295 --> 00:01:54,563
Are you putting a
price on my affections?
41
00:01:54,565 --> 00:01:56,281
Yeah, kinda.
42
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,800
You're gonna regret it.
43
00:01:57,802 --> 00:01:59,501
I'm really fun.
44
00:01:59,503 --> 00:02:02,137
(CHUCKLING)
45
00:02:02,139 --> 00:02:04,786
CRUSHER: ...fever down, try
to let the body heal itself.
46
00:02:04,789 --> 00:02:07,376
- PICARD: Keep me advised. Picard out.
- (PHONE RINGS)
47
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,960
Captain, the neutrino...
48
00:02:10,781 --> 00:02:12,681
Cooper residence.
49
00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:14,789
- Hello, Sheldon.
- Dr. Sturgis.
50
00:02:14,792 --> 00:02:16,766
I'd love to talk to you,
but I'm right in the middle
51
00:02:16,768 --> 00:02:19,481
of Star Trek: The Next
Generation. It's a good one.
52
00:02:19,484 --> 00:02:20,688
Geordi goes missing,
53
00:02:20,691 --> 00:02:23,225
but Wesley Crusher has a plan
to use neutrinos to locate him,
54
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,632
since they'd be visible
to Geordi's visor.
55
00:02:25,635 --> 00:02:28,325
I was actually calling
to speak to your father.
56
00:02:28,328 --> 00:02:31,531
But I'm glad you're having
fun with your friends.
57
00:02:31,534 --> 00:02:33,103
Hang on. I'll go get him.
58
00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:36,412
Dad! Phone call!
59
00:02:36,415 --> 00:02:38,582
ADULT SHELDON: Even though
Dr. Sturgis was confused,
60
00:02:38,585 --> 00:02:41,710
one day, Wesley Crusher
really would be my friend.
61
00:02:41,712 --> 00:02:43,351
Neat, huh?
62
00:02:43,354 --> 00:02:44,413
(GRUNTS)
63
00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:45,848
Hey, John.
64
00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:48,083
George. John Sturgis here.
65
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,981
That's why I said "Hey, John."
66
00:02:49,984 --> 00:02:51,086
Great.
67
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:55,090
I was wondering if we could
go out for a beer and talk.
68
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,159
Oh. Well, aren't we talking right now?
69
00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:59,361
Yes, but we had so much fun last time,
70
00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:01,096
I thought we could do it again.
71
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,031
Gee, John, last time, you got drunk
72
00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:05,234
and threw up in my glove compartment.
73
00:03:05,236 --> 00:03:06,902
Did I? (LAUGHS)
74
00:03:06,904 --> 00:03:09,671
Well, while I don't remember
any of that happening,
75
00:03:09,673 --> 00:03:12,203
I promise to be on my best behavior.
76
00:03:12,206 --> 00:03:14,106
And the drinks are on me.
77
00:03:14,109 --> 00:03:16,077
Na zdrowie!
78
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:20,983
That's, uh, "to our health" in Russian.
79
00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:23,285
(QUIETLY): This is not
the place to talk Russian.
80
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:25,487
So, what's up?
81
00:03:25,489 --> 00:03:29,442
Well, Sheldon has been
doing extraordinarily well
82
00:03:29,445 --> 00:03:31,193
in his college physics class.
83
00:03:31,195 --> 00:03:33,428
I know. He made me put
his test up on the fridge,
84
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,198
next to Missy's drawing
of her hand as a turkey.
85
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:41,457
So, uh, the university has taken
notice of Sheldon's talents,
86
00:03:41,460 --> 00:03:44,339
and they would very much like him
87
00:03:44,341 --> 00:03:46,942
to enroll full-time.
88
00:03:46,944 --> 00:03:49,778
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, we've
been down this road, John.
89
00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:51,480
Sheldon's only ten.
90
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:54,950
Mary and I both have jobs.
We just can't make it work.
91
00:03:54,952 --> 00:03:57,331
Well, that's why they
asked me to speak to you.
92
00:03:57,334 --> 00:03:59,067
They're looking to sweeten the pot.
93
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:01,558
That's a gambling metaphor.
94
00:04:01,561 --> 00:04:04,395
A lesser-known version
is "sweeten the kitty."
95
00:04:04,398 --> 00:04:07,127
I assume the difference is regional,
96
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:09,265
but I'm no etymologist.
97
00:04:09,268 --> 00:04:11,900
This beer is yummy. Mmm!
98
00:04:11,902 --> 00:04:14,195
So, what are they offering, John?
99
00:04:14,198 --> 00:04:16,198
They thought it would
be easier on the family
100
00:04:16,201 --> 00:04:18,968
if you were employed at the university.
101
00:04:18,971 --> 00:04:21,071
- Really?
- Yes, that way,
102
00:04:21,074 --> 00:04:22,511
you could drive Sheldon
103
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:25,156
and keep an eye on him while he's there.
104
00:04:25,159 --> 00:04:26,644
But I'm a football coach.
105
00:04:26,647 --> 00:04:28,013
Does the school even have a team?
106
00:04:28,016 --> 00:04:29,216
Oh, yes, they do.
107
00:04:29,219 --> 00:04:30,685
They-they don't win much,
108
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:34,122
but they lead the league in injuries.
109
00:04:34,124 --> 00:04:37,592
Well, guess that's a thing.
110
00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:39,194
Okay.
111
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:42,597
Anyway, I believe
they're willing to, uh,
112
00:04:42,599 --> 00:04:47,068
exceed your current salary
by a substantial amount.
113
00:04:47,070 --> 00:04:48,390
Is that so?
114
00:04:48,393 --> 00:04:49,738
Yes.
115
00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:51,960
They thought it would incentivize you.
116
00:04:51,963 --> 00:04:54,731
Well, John, they're not wrong.
117
00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:57,568
- Excellent!
- (CHUCKLES)
118
00:04:57,571 --> 00:04:59,671
(QUIETLY): Na zdrowie.
119
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,007
What the hell. (QUIETLY): Na zdrowie.
120
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,554
How was Dr. Sturgis?
121
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,570
He's fine.
122
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:08,857
What did you two talk about?
123
00:05:08,859 --> 00:05:10,992
I don't know. S-Stuff.
124
00:05:10,994 --> 00:05:12,460
Science stuff?
125
00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:14,362
No. Just regular stuff.
126
00:05:14,364 --> 00:05:17,687
Ooh, I bet he talked about
me. What did he say about me?
127
00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:19,484
Sheldon, everything isn't about you.
128
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,535
Okay? Go to your room.
129
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,139
Yes, sir.
130
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,806
What'd y'all talk about?
131
00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:27,109
Sheldon.
132
00:05:27,112 --> 00:05:28,777
Oh.
133
00:05:28,779 --> 00:05:30,211
(SIGHS)
134
00:05:30,213 --> 00:05:33,615
The university wants to
offer me a coaching job
135
00:05:33,617 --> 00:05:36,242
if it'll help to get Sheldon
to go there full-time.
136
00:05:36,245 --> 00:05:38,219
Oh.
137
00:05:38,221 --> 00:05:39,965
We talked about this.
138
00:05:39,968 --> 00:05:42,000
- College might be too much for him.
- I know.
139
00:05:42,003 --> 00:05:43,337
That's why I'd be there, you know,
140
00:05:43,339 --> 00:05:44,925
to help him over the rough spots.
141
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,494
I don't know, George.
142
00:05:46,496 --> 00:05:49,064
Can't hurt to see what the offer is.
143
00:05:49,066 --> 00:05:51,232
There are more important
things than money.
144
00:05:51,234 --> 00:05:55,437
That's cute. You should
knit that on a pillow.
145
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:58,341
Maybe I'll push that
pillow over your face.
146
00:06:03,223 --> 00:06:05,223
Scuse me. You Mr. Ballard?
147
00:06:05,225 --> 00:06:06,458
Yeah, that'd be me.
148
00:06:06,460 --> 00:06:09,207
I'm Georgie, Connie Tucker's grandson.
149
00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:10,328
Oh, yeah.
150
00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:11,796
The hair. Very pretty.
151
00:06:11,798 --> 00:06:14,432
Hang on a second. I got to
deal with this guy, okay?
152
00:06:14,434 --> 00:06:16,387
- Take your time.
- So,
153
00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:18,357
here you go. Here's the
rod you were asking about.
154
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,759
Now, that's a good choice.
155
00:06:19,762 --> 00:06:21,071
- Very solid.
- Mm. Mm.
156
00:06:21,074 --> 00:06:22,774
And then I just brought this one along
157
00:06:22,776 --> 00:06:25,377
to show you, just in
case, later, you know,
158
00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:27,245
you get serious about fishing.
159
00:06:27,247 --> 00:06:29,774
Well... I'm pretty serious.
160
00:06:29,777 --> 00:06:33,251
Yeah. You know, I-I had that feeling.
161
00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:34,886
Wh-What's your name?
162
00:06:34,888 --> 00:06:35,920
- Jim.
- Jim.
163
00:06:35,922 --> 00:06:38,490
Well, Jim, this rod is a little pricey.
164
00:06:38,492 --> 00:06:39,871
It's double the cost of that one,
165
00:06:39,874 --> 00:06:41,459
but it's worth every penny.
166
00:06:41,461 --> 00:06:43,766
And, uh, it's the rod I use.
167
00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:45,563
Well, then that's the one I want.
168
00:06:45,565 --> 00:06:47,074
Well, that's a good choice.
169
00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:48,293
There you go.
170
00:06:48,296 --> 00:06:50,534
Now, with a rod like this,
you want to use live bait,
171
00:06:50,537 --> 00:06:51,803
and we don't carry that here.
172
00:06:51,805 --> 00:06:55,801
But down the street is
Ed's Bait and Tackle Shop.
173
00:06:55,804 --> 00:06:58,805
And if you tell him Dale sent
you, he'll take care of you.
174
00:06:58,808 --> 00:07:00,102
I appreciate that.
175
00:07:00,105 --> 00:07:02,347
So, take her over there to Bernice,
176
00:07:02,349 --> 00:07:05,283
- and she'll ring you up.
- Thanks.
177
00:07:05,285 --> 00:07:06,543
DALE: Hey.
178
00:07:06,546 --> 00:07:08,501
And-and bring me back some catfish.
179
00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:10,152
JIM: You bet.
180
00:07:10,155 --> 00:07:11,318
Yeah.
181
00:07:11,321 --> 00:07:12,555
You're a really good salesman.
182
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:13,758
Well, yeah. Not only that,
183
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,494
I get a kickback on
everybody I send down to Ed's.
184
00:07:16,496 --> 00:07:17,996
You're awesome.
185
00:07:17,998 --> 00:07:19,543
I know.
186
00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:23,968
Ooh. 35 cents off Goober.
187
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:25,087
What's Goober?
188
00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:26,938
Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.
189
00:07:26,941 --> 00:07:29,107
Think about how much time we'd save.
190
00:07:29,109 --> 00:07:30,175
GEORGE JR.: Hey.
191
00:07:30,177 --> 00:07:31,242
Dale give you a good price
192
00:07:31,244 --> 00:07:32,644
on those weights?
193
00:07:32,646 --> 00:07:34,446
Better. He gave me a job.
194
00:07:34,449 --> 00:07:36,785
Damn. He did have fun
last night. (CHUCKLES)
195
00:07:36,788 --> 00:07:38,816
- What kind of job?
- Salesman.
196
00:07:38,819 --> 00:07:41,386
(GASPS) Well, congratulations.
197
00:07:41,388 --> 00:07:42,649
I'm gonna learn a lot from him.
198
00:07:42,652 --> 00:07:44,355
He's real good at getting
people to spend money
199
00:07:44,357 --> 00:07:45,623
on stuff they don't need.
200
00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:48,793
Well, I don't know if I
like the sound of that.
201
00:07:48,795 --> 00:07:51,630
You know what I like
the sound of? Ka-ching.
202
00:07:56,436 --> 00:07:58,670
(CHUCKLES) Well, thank you.
203
00:07:58,672 --> 00:08:01,339
That's a very generous offer.
204
00:08:01,341 --> 00:08:03,341
Let me discuss it with my family,
205
00:08:03,343 --> 00:08:05,376
and I'll get back to you.
206
00:08:05,378 --> 00:08:07,979
Bye.
207
00:08:07,981 --> 00:08:09,981
What was that about?
208
00:08:09,983 --> 00:08:11,644
Are you my family?
209
00:08:11,647 --> 00:08:13,017
I don't know.
210
00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:15,821
I like to think of
myself as your work wife.
211
00:08:18,157 --> 00:08:21,658
So, that's why I wanted
to give you a heads-up.
212
00:08:21,661 --> 00:08:24,040
I got to tell you, George,
this is a real blow.
213
00:08:24,043 --> 00:08:27,180
Appreciate it. But, uh,
yeah, you'll find someone.
214
00:08:27,183 --> 00:08:29,501
There's a lot of good coaches out there.
215
00:08:29,503 --> 00:08:31,803
Not you. Sheldon.
216
00:08:31,805 --> 00:08:33,605
Sheldon?
217
00:08:33,607 --> 00:08:36,508
I thought everyone would be
thrilled for him to leave.
218
00:08:36,510 --> 00:08:37,876
(CHUCKLES) Don't get me wrong,
219
00:08:37,879 --> 00:08:40,512
your kid is a royal pain in the ass.
220
00:08:40,514 --> 00:08:43,027
I have a problem with
this permission slip.
221
00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:44,649
You didn't cut them in half evenly.
222
00:08:44,651 --> 00:08:47,243
Mine has two holes, and
Derek here just has one.
223
00:08:47,246 --> 00:08:48,419
Then trade.
224
00:08:48,421 --> 00:08:50,909
Then Derek will have two
holes, and mine will have one.
225
00:08:50,912 --> 00:08:53,329
You're not going to
the water park anyway!
226
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:56,884
However, his state test
scores are so extraordinary,
227
00:08:56,887 --> 00:08:59,297
the school actually gets
more funding because of it.
228
00:08:59,299 --> 00:09:00,426
You serious?
229
00:09:00,429 --> 00:09:03,918
Serious as the fire alarms,
which are now functional.
230
00:09:03,921 --> 00:09:08,323
And always were, if anyone asks.
231
00:09:08,326 --> 00:09:11,634
(SIGHS) I don't know
what to tell you, Tom.
232
00:09:11,637 --> 00:09:14,485
(STAMMERS) They're offering
me a pretty nice raise.
233
00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:16,899
Well, I can't afford to lose Sheldon,
234
00:09:16,902 --> 00:09:20,084
so what's it gonna take
to keep y'all here, George?
235
00:09:20,086 --> 00:09:22,287
(CLEARS THROAT)
236
00:09:22,289 --> 00:09:24,122
Thank you.
237
00:09:24,124 --> 00:09:27,397
I will discuss it with my
family and get back to you.
238
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,600
Good.
239
00:09:35,714 --> 00:09:38,282
Bit of a kerfuffle at the church today.
240
00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:40,505
Pastor Jeff promised Patricia Richards
241
00:09:40,507 --> 00:09:42,829
she could sing "How
Great Thou Art" on Sunday,
242
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,040
but I had already
printed in the bulletin
243
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:47,245
that Karen Baker was gonna sing it.
244
00:09:47,248 --> 00:09:49,884
They agreed to a duet, but it was
245
00:09:49,887 --> 00:09:51,516
touch and go.
246
00:09:51,518 --> 00:09:53,446
- Mm.
- What's a kerfuffle?
247
00:09:53,449 --> 00:09:54,985
Not that.
248
00:09:54,988 --> 00:09:55,987
Hey.
249
00:09:55,989 --> 00:09:58,058
Hey. How was your first day at work?
250
00:09:58,061 --> 00:09:59,057
Amazing.
251
00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:01,459
I made $38 on commissions alone.
252
00:10:01,461 --> 00:10:03,399
Well, good for you.
253
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:04,962
What's for dinner?
254
00:10:04,964 --> 00:10:06,126
Meatloaf.
255
00:10:06,129 --> 00:10:08,466
Oh. I think I'm gonna go out to eat.
256
00:10:08,468 --> 00:10:09,767
No, you are not.
257
00:10:09,769 --> 00:10:11,563
We're having dinner as a family.
258
00:10:11,566 --> 00:10:13,838
Yeah, but I got money now
and I can do what I want.
259
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,441
And what I want is a
chimichanga at Chi-Chi's.
260
00:10:16,443 --> 00:10:18,171
I want a chimichanga from Chi-Chi's.
261
00:10:18,174 --> 00:10:19,907
They do have a good margarita.
262
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,246
You are eating here. So are you.
263
00:10:22,248 --> 00:10:24,582
I don't care what you do.
264
00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:25,616
Later.
265
00:10:25,618 --> 00:10:27,585
Georgie Cooper.
266
00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:29,637
Do not walk out of that door.
267
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:30,798
Georgie!
268
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:32,757
That's a kerfuffle.
269
00:10:32,759 --> 00:10:35,560
Missy, let this be a lesson to you.
270
00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:37,935
The love of money is
the root of all evil.
271
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,126
GEORGE SR.: Hey!
272
00:10:39,129 --> 00:10:40,722
You would not believe the wheelin'
273
00:10:40,725 --> 00:10:42,282
and dealin' I did today.
274
00:10:42,285 --> 00:10:43,735
I'm playing the high school
275
00:10:43,737 --> 00:10:45,970
and the university against
each other. (LAUGHS)
276
00:10:45,972 --> 00:10:47,933
Hey, what do you say
we go out to dinner?
277
00:10:47,936 --> 00:10:49,173
Chi-Chi's is good.
278
00:10:49,175 --> 00:10:51,394
Ooh, chimichangas.
279
00:10:56,149 --> 00:10:59,183
I've asked you all here
because we got a situation.
280
00:10:59,185 --> 00:11:03,454
George Cooper's considering
a job at a college and...
281
00:11:03,456 --> 00:11:05,189
taking Sheldon with him.
282
00:11:05,191 --> 00:11:07,282
- Yes!
- Is it far away?
283
00:11:07,285 --> 00:11:09,423
- I hope it's far away.
- Maybe it's overseas.
284
00:11:09,426 --> 00:11:11,282
- Ooh, like Fiji.
- PETERSEN: Hold your horses.
285
00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:15,225
If Sheldon walks out that
door, our test scores drop hard.
286
00:11:15,228 --> 00:11:17,829
That affects funding,
which affects your salaries.
287
00:11:17,832 --> 00:11:20,909
Ugh. Well, how can we help?
288
00:11:20,912 --> 00:11:23,813
Y'all need to make George
and Sheldon so happy here
289
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,376
they want to stay.
290
00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:26,511
Oh, come on.
291
00:11:26,513 --> 00:11:28,379
(SCOFFS) Isn't there
anything else we can do?
292
00:11:28,381 --> 00:11:29,781
Yeah, Mr. Givens.
293
00:11:29,783 --> 00:11:31,983
You could do a better job at
teaching the other students
294
00:11:31,985 --> 00:11:36,455
so we don't rely on one boy
to pull up everyone's grades.
295
00:11:38,591 --> 00:11:41,359
Fine. We'll be nice to Sheldon.
296
00:11:41,361 --> 00:11:42,923
(SIGHS)
297
00:11:42,926 --> 00:11:45,860
♪ I've been working for the big man ♪
298
00:11:45,863 --> 00:11:48,599
♪ All the livelong day ♪
299
00:11:48,601 --> 00:11:51,298
♪ I've been working for the big man ♪
300
00:11:51,301 --> 00:11:53,969
- ♪ Just to wash my sins away. ♪
- (KNOCKING)
301
00:11:53,972 --> 00:11:55,838
Hey, Mary. What's up?
302
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:58,075
Can I speak with you
about a spiritual matter?
303
00:11:58,078 --> 00:11:59,712
My sweet spot. Sit.
304
00:12:00,649 --> 00:12:01,782
What's the buzz?
305
00:12:01,785 --> 00:12:03,949
Tell me, what's a-happenin'? (CHUCKLES)
306
00:12:05,287 --> 00:12:06,553
Jesus Christ Superstar.
307
00:12:06,556 --> 00:12:07,688
It's a great show.
308
00:12:07,691 --> 00:12:10,188
Well, um...
309
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:13,624
I'm concerned George and Georgie
310
00:12:13,626 --> 00:12:16,060
might be succumbing to the sin of greed.
311
00:12:16,062 --> 00:12:17,376
Ooh, that's a biggie.
312
00:12:17,379 --> 00:12:19,497
Ever since Georgie started making money,
313
00:12:19,499 --> 00:12:21,805
he's been very disrespectful.
314
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:24,769
Meanwhile, my husband's so busy
trying to land a better job,
315
00:12:24,772 --> 00:12:27,305
he doesn't even care how
it might affect Sheldon.
316
00:12:27,308 --> 00:12:28,673
I'm sorry to hear that.
317
00:12:28,675 --> 00:12:31,503
In Luke 12:15, Jesus says, "Watch out.
318
00:12:31,506 --> 00:12:34,274
Be on your guard against
all kinds of greed.
319
00:12:34,277 --> 00:12:36,970
Life does not consist in an
abundance of possessions."
320
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,907
I know, but it seems
like the whole world
321
00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:41,152
is sending the opposite message.
322
00:12:41,155 --> 00:12:42,353
Don't I know it.
323
00:12:42,355 --> 00:12:43,888
Just the other day, I was at the mall
324
00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:45,623
and a toaster oven caught my eye.
325
00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:47,962
Next thing you know, I
was in line to buy it,
326
00:12:47,965 --> 00:12:50,272
and I realized I have a toaster
327
00:12:50,275 --> 00:12:53,009
and I have an oven. What am I doing?
328
00:12:53,012 --> 00:12:54,899
Turns out Satan doesn't just hide out
329
00:12:54,901 --> 00:12:56,295
in honky-tonks and casinos.
330
00:12:56,298 --> 00:12:58,665
Sometimes he's in the
appliance section of Sears.
331
00:12:58,668 --> 00:13:02,957
Well, if it's everywhere,
how can we fight it?
332
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,962
We may not be able to control the world,
333
00:13:04,965 --> 00:13:07,318
but we can control our homes.
334
00:13:07,321 --> 00:13:09,321
It's up to us to create an environment
335
00:13:09,324 --> 00:13:11,613
where the sin of greed
can find no purchase.
336
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:13,415
Is that what you've done in your home?
337
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:15,519
Well, I do make my toast vertically,
338
00:13:15,521 --> 00:13:17,121
two slices at a time.
339
00:13:17,123 --> 00:13:20,191
Take that, Satan. (CHUCKLES)
340
00:13:20,193 --> 00:13:21,960
♪ ♪
341
00:13:25,197 --> 00:13:27,364
Then Geordi goes missing,
but Wesley Crusher
342
00:13:27,366 --> 00:13:29,730
has a plan to use
neutrinos to locate him,
343
00:13:29,733 --> 00:13:32,066
since they'd be visible
to Geordi's visor.
344
00:13:32,069 --> 00:13:33,113
Is that so?
345
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,215
It is.
346
00:13:34,218 --> 00:13:35,555
I recorded the episode.
347
00:13:35,558 --> 00:13:37,006
I'll show it to you tonight.
348
00:13:37,009 --> 00:13:38,152
That's okay.
349
00:13:38,155 --> 00:13:39,683
You did such a good job explaining it,
350
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,045
I feel like I saw it.
351
00:13:41,047 --> 00:13:42,380
You're still seeing it.
352
00:13:44,078 --> 00:13:45,211
What's this?
353
00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,058
"Reserved for Coach Cooper."
354
00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:50,504
(CHUCKLES)
355
00:13:50,507 --> 00:13:52,196
Would you look at that. They gave me
356
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,857
a parking spot right by the door.
357
00:13:53,859 --> 00:13:55,074
Why?
358
00:13:55,077 --> 00:13:56,743
I guess they're starting to appreciate
359
00:13:56,746 --> 00:13:58,308
my talents around here.
360
00:13:58,311 --> 00:13:59,488
Why?
361
00:13:59,491 --> 00:14:01,434
("MONEY (THAT'S WHAT I WANT)"
BY BARRETT STRONG PLAYING)
362
00:14:01,436 --> 00:14:03,533
Oh! There's my man.
363
00:14:03,536 --> 00:14:05,402
Where?
364
00:14:05,404 --> 00:14:06,603
You, silly.
365
00:14:06,605 --> 00:14:09,440
I'm neither a man, nor
silly, but all right.
366
00:14:09,442 --> 00:14:12,009
(LAUGHS) You're so funny, Sheldon.
367
00:14:12,011 --> 00:14:13,544
Oh, well, that I am.
368
00:14:13,546 --> 00:14:17,481
These are the flyers for
the canned food drive.
369
00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:19,363
And, Sheldon, you'll be happy to know,
370
00:14:19,366 --> 00:14:21,284
I made sure they were cut perfectly,
371
00:14:21,287 --> 00:14:25,089
so that each one has
exactly one and a half holes.
372
00:14:25,091 --> 00:14:27,224
But mine has half a hole on the top,
373
00:14:27,226 --> 00:14:30,228
and Derek's here has
half a hole on the bottom.
374
00:14:33,132 --> 00:14:34,605
♪ The best things in life are free ♪
375
00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:37,784
Ooh. (CHUCKLES) What do we have here?
376
00:14:37,787 --> 00:14:39,155
♪ But you can give them
to the birds and bees ♪
377
00:14:39,157 --> 00:14:41,037
- Ooh.
- ♪ I need money ♪
378
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,207
♪ That's what I want ♪
379
00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:44,475
♪ That's what I want ♪
380
00:14:44,477 --> 00:14:45,990
♪ That's what I want... ♪
381
00:14:45,993 --> 00:14:47,411
(SIGHS)
382
00:14:47,413 --> 00:14:49,084
(CHUCKLING)
383
00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:51,447
Hey, how come you get
to park by the door?
384
00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:55,319
Don't bother me, Wayne. I'm sitting.
385
00:14:55,321 --> 00:14:57,321
And you got a new chair, too?
386
00:14:57,323 --> 00:14:59,023
(LAUGHING)
387
00:14:59,025 --> 00:15:01,151
♪ But your love don't pay my bills... ♪
388
00:15:01,154 --> 00:15:03,660
Are we going to watch
an educational film?
389
00:15:03,662 --> 00:15:05,829
We're gonna watch Star Trek.
390
00:15:05,831 --> 00:15:07,731
Star Trek in school?
391
00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:08,889
Wowie Zowie.
392
00:15:08,892 --> 00:15:12,402
- ♪ That's what I want ♪
- ♪ That's what I want... ♪
393
00:15:12,405 --> 00:15:13,542
What's here?
394
00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:15,039
♪ That's what I want... ♪
395
00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:17,875
Ooh, a golden whistle.
396
00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:20,277
What the hell is going on?
397
00:15:20,279 --> 00:15:21,912
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
398
00:15:21,914 --> 00:15:24,048
You wanted to see me?
399
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,750
When don't I want to see
you, Sheldon? Come in.
400
00:15:26,752 --> 00:15:30,108
I have something I'd like to give you.
401
00:15:31,357 --> 00:15:34,162
This is a key to the faculty restroom.
402
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:35,959
No students allowed.
403
00:15:35,961 --> 00:15:37,628
One person at a time.
404
00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:39,296
And unlike the other restrooms,
405
00:15:39,298 --> 00:15:42,366
this one gets cleaned every night.
406
00:15:42,368 --> 00:15:44,535
♪ But what it don't get, I can't use... ♪
407
00:15:44,537 --> 00:15:45,602
Thank you.
408
00:15:45,604 --> 00:15:47,371
(CHUCKLES) No, Sheldon.
409
00:15:47,373 --> 00:15:48,539
Thank you.
410
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:50,174
You're welcome.
411
00:15:50,176 --> 00:15:52,045
♪ That's what I want ♪
412
00:15:52,048 --> 00:15:55,154
- ♪ That's what I want ♪
- ♪ That's what I want... ♪
413
00:15:55,157 --> 00:15:56,358
It's all yours.
414
00:15:56,361 --> 00:16:00,687
- ♪ That's what I want ♪
- ♪ Gimme money... ♪
415
00:16:02,238 --> 00:16:04,038
(TV PLAYING QUIETLY)
416
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,390
I think this show is
teaching you bad lessons.
417
00:16:08,392 --> 00:16:10,392
Don't worry. I'm a slow learner.
418
00:16:10,395 --> 00:16:12,062
FEMALE VOICE (OVER TV): Fascinating.
419
00:16:14,331 --> 00:16:17,699
Is that Goober? Where did you get that?
420
00:16:17,701 --> 00:16:19,866
Georgie got it for me. He's rich now.
421
00:16:19,869 --> 00:16:21,101
That is it!
422
00:16:21,104 --> 00:16:23,859
I am taking this house
back from the devil.
423
00:16:26,425 --> 00:16:27,558
Hey.
424
00:16:27,561 --> 00:16:29,477
("IT'S A SIN" BY PET SHOP BOYS PLAYING)
425
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:30,813
ADULT SHELDON: I've been accused
426
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:33,148
of overreacting from time to time.
427
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:36,886
But perhaps it's hereditary,
because look at my mommy go.
428
00:16:39,838 --> 00:16:41,572
♪ It's a sin ♪
429
00:16:43,093 --> 00:16:45,094
♪ It's a sin ♪
430
00:16:47,932 --> 00:16:49,698
♪ Everything I've ever done ♪
431
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:51,500
♪ Everything I ever do ♪
432
00:16:51,502 --> 00:16:53,702
♪ Every place I've ever been ♪
433
00:16:53,704 --> 00:16:56,338
♪ Everywhere I'm going to ♪
434
00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:57,907
♪ It's a sin ♪
435
00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:02,354
♪ It's a sin ♪
436
00:17:03,614 --> 00:17:06,448
♪ It's a, it's a ♪
437
00:17:06,450 --> 00:17:07,950
- Aw.
- ♪ It's a sin. ♪
438
00:17:07,952 --> 00:17:09,702
GEORGE SR.: What happened to all our stuff?
439
00:17:09,705 --> 00:17:12,054
Mom went nuts and took everything away.
440
00:17:12,056 --> 00:17:14,823
How am I supposed to watch
Professor Proton?
441
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:17,192
All my music and magazines are gone.
442
00:17:17,194 --> 00:17:19,062
Where is your mother?
443
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,731
You want to explain yourself?
444
00:17:22,733 --> 00:17:24,766
(SIGHS)
445
00:17:24,768 --> 00:17:27,863
I am taking our house back
from the forces of evil.
446
00:17:27,866 --> 00:17:29,699
What's evil about Black Sabbath?
447
00:17:29,702 --> 00:17:30,827
You're not helping.
448
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:33,041
Greed has entered into your hearts,
449
00:17:33,043 --> 00:17:34,460
especially you two.
450
00:17:34,463 --> 00:17:35,711
It has not.
451
00:17:35,713 --> 00:17:37,212
Is that a gold whistle?
452
00:17:37,214 --> 00:17:38,695
Huh? No.
453
00:17:38,698 --> 00:17:41,149
It's... it's a gift.
454
00:17:41,151 --> 00:17:43,318
Now, where's our stuff? We want it back.
455
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,453
I'm not telling.
456
00:17:44,455 --> 00:17:46,421
Mary, don't make me ask again.
457
00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:47,737
Or what?
458
00:17:49,426 --> 00:17:50,557
What?
459
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,294
Your daughter lost her mind
and we want to watch TV.
460
00:17:53,297 --> 00:17:55,497
But... Uh, Dale's coming over.
461
00:17:55,499 --> 00:17:57,479
- Great.
- Love that guy.
462
00:18:00,971 --> 00:18:03,372
Okay, we got a problem.
463
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,390
I don't know what kind of
464
00:18:05,393 --> 00:18:07,546
religious gobbledygook
you're going through,
465
00:18:07,549 --> 00:18:09,778
but it is starting to affect me.
466
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,921
- Your hands aren't clean in this.
- I beg your pardon.
467
00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:15,588
Your new friend Dale
is encouraging Georgie
468
00:18:15,591 --> 00:18:17,112
to be obsessed with money.
469
00:18:17,115 --> 00:18:18,314
Your husband's no good at it.
470
00:18:18,317 --> 00:18:19,971
You ought to be happy your son is.
471
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:22,108
George is no prize either.
472
00:18:22,111 --> 00:18:24,663
Not worrying about
what's right for Sheldon.
473
00:18:24,666 --> 00:18:26,948
Well, what do you
think is right for him?
474
00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:28,450
Honestly?
475
00:18:28,453 --> 00:18:30,674
(SIGHS) I don't know.
476
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,057
I know that he's bored in high school,
477
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,846
but he's just so young for college.
478
00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:37,268
Well, it sounds like they're trying
479
00:18:37,271 --> 00:18:39,135
to set George up there for him.
480
00:18:39,138 --> 00:18:41,138
I know.
481
00:18:41,141 --> 00:18:43,508
(SIGHS)
482
00:18:43,511 --> 00:18:45,596
Maybe it's me.
483
00:18:45,599 --> 00:18:49,434
Maybe I'm not ready
for my baby to grow up.
484
00:18:49,437 --> 00:18:51,971
No mother ever is.
485
00:18:54,058 --> 00:18:56,018
(SIGHS)
486
00:18:56,124 --> 00:18:57,457
(SIGHS)
487
00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:59,838
I just want to keep my family safe.
488
00:18:59,841 --> 00:19:01,574
I know.
489
00:19:01,577 --> 00:19:04,065
But at some point,
you got to let them go.
490
00:19:04,764 --> 00:19:06,430
And then one day, if you're lucky,
491
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:08,276
they'll move across the street from you
492
00:19:08,279 --> 00:19:10,147
and absolutely ruin your life.
493
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,221
Seriously, get those
people out of my house.
494
00:19:15,224 --> 00:19:16,237
Okay.
495
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,229
ADULT SHELDON: Eventually,
my mother relented
496
00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:21,221
and returned our things with
a few minor adjustments.
497
00:19:21,224 --> 00:19:22,490
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV)
498
00:19:22,493 --> 00:19:23,979
What's The Moosewood Gang?
499
00:19:23,982 --> 00:19:28,198
They solve mysteries
while they learn about God.
500
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,434
Great.
501
00:19:29,437 --> 00:19:32,526
ADULT SHELDON: Georgie got his music back.
502
00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:34,596
♪ Jesus Christ ♪
503
00:19:34,598 --> 00:19:36,932
♪ Superstar... ♪
504
00:19:36,934 --> 00:19:39,541
What the hell is this?
505
00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:40,986
ADULT SHELDON: And as for college,
506
00:19:40,989 --> 00:19:42,635
my mother and father discussed it
507
00:19:42,638 --> 00:19:45,005
and decided that ten was too young.
508
00:19:45,008 --> 00:19:48,810
So I didn't start till
the ripe old age of 11.
509
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,307
- In the meantime...
- (TOILET FLUSHES)
510
00:19:52,799 --> 00:19:56,573
...I had the key to one sweet bathroom.
511
00:19:56,576 --> 00:20:01,479
♪ Superstar. ♪
512
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:07,577
WOMAN (OVER P.A.): And we have
brand-new designs on awesome gifts.
513
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:10,166
And don't forget about
our layaway options.
514
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:12,670
♪ ♪
515
00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:15,477
Lord, give me strength.
516
00:20:28,745 --> 00:20:30,659
I'm sorry, God. I'm weak.
517
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:35,823
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
--