1 00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:49,916 It was a scary week. 2 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,625 'Cause here's what you got to understand. 3 00:00:52,708 --> 00:00:54,416 A hit television show today... 4 00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:57,500 a big hit television show... what does it get? 5 00:00:57,583 --> 00:00:58,625 Ten million viewers. 6 00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:01,166 Let's go crazy and say 15. 7 00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:05,041 15 million viewers, 'cause this is a big, giant hit. 8 00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:07,208 Here's what you got to understand. 9 00:01:07,291 --> 00:01:10,333 60 million. 10 00:01:10,416 --> 00:01:12,083 Oh, yeah. 11 00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:15,500 It's been a long time, but I remember that week. 12 00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:18,416 That was a scary week. 13 00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,291 It was a very scary week. 14 00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:22,750 Those guys scare too easy. 15 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,166 I'm from the Midwest. 16 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,142 I've lived through the Depression, the Dust Bowl. 17 00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:27,250 I don't scare that easy. 18 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:30,500 But, yeah, it was a scary goddamn week. 19 00:01:30,583 --> 00:01:33,291 Department stores used to be open late on Monday nights. 20 00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:35,250 Then they switched to Thursday night. 21 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,458 You know why? 22 00:01:36,541 --> 00:01:40,166 'Cause nobody was leaving home during I Love Lucy on Mondays. 23 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:44,166 There was a significant drop-off in the number of people using water 24 00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,500 between 9:00 and 9:30 on Monday nights. 25 00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:47,833 Out of the blue... 26 00:01:47,916 --> 00:01:50,125 Everyone almost lost their jobs. 27 00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,875 Lucy and Desi almost lost their lives. 28 00:01:52,958 --> 00:01:54,375 Out of thin air. 29 00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:56,833 You're asking when did they find out? 30 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,750 Same time as everyone else, listening to Walter Winchell. 31 00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:04,416 I'm minding my own business, listening to Walter Winchell, and bam. 32 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,666 At the end of the broadcast. 33 00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:09,000 This is what you got to understand. 34 00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:13,291 It wasn't small potatoes when Winchell ended his broadcast by saying... 35 00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:15,958 "Lucille Ball is a Communist." 36 00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:18,500 Just like that. 37 00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:21,875 Lucille Ball is a member of the Communist Party. 38 00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:24,833 - Yeah. - And she'd already seen the magazine story 39 00:02:24,916 --> 00:02:28,250 about Desi when Winchell came on. 40 00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:29,875 The magazine came out on Mondays, 41 00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:32,333 but her publicist brought her a copy on Sunday night. 42 00:02:32,416 --> 00:02:34,500 What were they doing when they first heard the news? 43 00:02:34,583 --> 00:02:35,500 What were they doing? 44 00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,750 I don't know what Lucy and Desi were doing, 45 00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:41,000 but it was Lucy and Desi, so they were either tearing each other's heads off 46 00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:42,583 or tearing each other's clothes off. 47 00:02:42,666 --> 00:02:45,791 It's time, America, time for Walter Winchell. 48 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,875 Presented to you by Gruen, the Precision watch. 49 00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:51,166 Gruen, the finest watch you can wear. 50 00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,684 Gruen, the finest watch you can give, brings you the man... 51 00:02:53,708 --> 00:02:55,833 Lucy, I'm home. 52 00:02:55,916 --> 00:02:58,791 Where the hell have you been, you Cuban dimwit?! 53 00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:00,208 Oye, easy does it. 54 00:03:00,291 --> 00:03:02,125 You philandering bongo player! 55 00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:03,559 I was playing cards with... 56 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,583 Hey! I was playing cards with... coño. 57 00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:07,708 - Oh, damn it. - You tell me when it starts to hurt. 58 00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:11,392 - The boat? The... - Yes, we were playing cards on the boat. 59 00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:14,166 Since last night? Since 27 hours ago? 60 00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:16,250 - Yes. - And you couldn't get to a phone? 61 00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,416 - No. - Why? 62 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,726 I was passed out a lot of that time. 63 00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:23,833 That's tomorrow's Confidential. 64 00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:25,583 Why do you even read that magazine? 65 00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,184 Why do I even... Well, in this case... 66 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,267 ...it's 'cause my husband's on the cover with another woman. 67 00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:30,916 So it caught my eye. 68 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,142 The story chronicles a night on the town with you and the... 69 00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:34,625 That's somebody's niece. 70 00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:36,642 - What the hell do I care if it's somebody's niece? - From Westinghouse. 71 00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:38,559 That's the Westinghouse corporate... You were there. 72 00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:40,041 That's the guy's niece. 73 00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:43,416 That picture was taken last summer. 74 00:03:44,916 --> 00:03:46,125 You're right. 75 00:03:46,208 --> 00:03:48,833 This was taken at the Westinghouse corporate retreat. 76 00:03:48,916 --> 00:03:50,958 - Yes. - I apologize. 77 00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:54,000 - Hmm. Say, "Desi, I apologize for doubting you..." - No. 78 00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:58,208 "...for I see now that this picture was taken not last Wednesday night 79 00:03:58,291 --> 00:04:01,083 "but six months ago at the Westinghouse corporate retreat, 80 00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:03,666 and I will never doubt your love for me again." 81 00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,833 - Say that. - No, and you're doing it again. 82 00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:08,125 You're pronouncing it "Westing-gouse." 83 00:04:08,208 --> 00:04:09,625 It is "Westing-gouse." 84 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,083 "Westinghouse." 85 00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:14,083 Say, "G-H-O-S-T." 86 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,208 "Ghost." 87 00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:17,208 You don't pronounce an "H" after a "G." 88 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,791 "Westing-gouse." 89 00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:22,500 Everything in the magazine was made up? 90 00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:24,351 I haven't read the story in the magazine, 91 00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:26,601 but unless the story's about me playing cards on the boat... 92 00:04:26,625 --> 00:04:28,809 - It's not. - Then, yes, it's made up. 93 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,458 Amor, get it through your head. 94 00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:33,833 You are the only thing I want. 95 00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:35,500 Well, then you're an idiot. 96 00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:37,291 Ah, come here. 97 00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:38,934 The House Committee on Un-American Activities is holding 98 00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:40,375 a secret session in California. 99 00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:42,541 The most popular of all television stars 100 00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:46,500 was confronted with her membership in the Communist Party. 101 00:04:47,583 --> 00:04:50,583 - Wait! - Wait. 102 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:51,750 Wait. 103 00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:55,666 What did he say? 104 00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:58,875 He said, "The most popular of all television stars was..." 105 00:04:58,958 --> 00:05:02,166 "Was confronted with her membership in the Communist Party." 106 00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:04,375 Yes. 107 00:05:04,458 --> 00:05:06,708 He could have been talking about Imogene Coca. 108 00:05:06,791 --> 00:05:08,125 Fuck you. 109 00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,625 He was not talking about Imogene Coca. 110 00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:28,875 This is nonsense. 111 00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:32,083 It's nonsense, and it will get worse before it gets better. 112 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:35,958 Little Rusty Hamer, when he signed his contract... 113 00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:38,291 or the guardian, whoever signs the contract for him... 114 00:05:38,375 --> 00:05:40,833 he had to sign a loyalty pledge. 115 00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:42,000 Did anyone know that? 116 00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:45,500 Hmm? 117 00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:47,208 Bill? 118 00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:50,833 Bill? 119 00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:53,416 Is she talking to me? 120 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,708 Yeah. 121 00:05:54,791 --> 00:05:56,059 'Cause she knows I'm here? She can see me? 122 00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:57,416 Yes. 123 00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,809 Did you know Little Rusty had to sign a loyalty pledge? 124 00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:01,392 I don't know who the fuck Little Rusty is. 125 00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:03,250 Rusty Hamer from The Danny Thomas Show. 126 00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:04,726 - That's not his name. - It is his name. 127 00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,470 - The littlest kid from Danny's show? - Yes. 128 00:06:06,541 --> 00:06:08,541 Rusty is the character's name, not the actor. 129 00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:11,583 They're both named Rusty. Rusty Williams is played by Rusty Hamer. 130 00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:12,750 And Hamer's a Communist? 131 00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:14,541 He's seven years old. 132 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,791 - And he's interested in politics? - No, imbecile. 133 00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:20,250 I'm saying he's seven years old and they made him sign a loyalty pledge. 134 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:21,666 Uh-huh? 135 00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:23,541 This is getting out of hand was my point. 136 00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:26,583 Why isn't Danny Thomas's kid named Rusty Thomas? 137 00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:27,916 Are you drunk? 138 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,708 It's 10:00 a.m., Vivian, so, you know, of course. 139 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,416 Bob and Jess and I were up all weekend 140 00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:33,976 working on the script you're about to read, 141 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,041 so on behalf of all of us, I want to say how much we appreciate your respect. 142 00:06:38,125 --> 00:06:40,500 Believe me, you do not want me to read this sober. 143 00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:42,517 I'm starting to get a little tired of your casual insults. 144 00:06:42,541 --> 00:06:45,267 Well, my insults don't feel like putting on a fucking tuxedo for you, kid. 145 00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:48,142 Jess, why don't you tell your supporting cast that we don't work for him either. 146 00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:49,833 You all work for me! 147 00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:54,291 Wh... What you all have to understand is this. 148 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,458 Here's what you have to understand. 149 00:06:58,541 --> 00:06:59,625 We're all tense. 150 00:07:07,208 --> 00:07:09,166 Seriously? That was it? 151 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:12,083 We're all tense. And the cure for that is just do the show. 152 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,125 Normal production week. 153 00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:15,476 We're gonna need someone to play Lucy and Ricky. 154 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,500 Those are critical roles. 155 00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:18,791 The two of them are in Desi's office 156 00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:20,642 meeting with the network and the sponsor right now. 157 00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,184 I'm sure there's an explanation. This will all be over by show night. 158 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,958 One way or the other. 159 00:07:24,041 --> 00:07:25,208 Yeah. No. 160 00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:26,625 Let me be clear. 161 00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:28,508 I said, "This will all be over by show night." 162 00:07:28,541 --> 00:07:30,309 Bill said, "One way or the other." That's gallows humor. 163 00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:31,476 I said, "Yeah," but I did not... 164 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:34,041 - The sooner you stop talking... - Yeah. 165 00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:37,708 I think everyone's acquainted, but let's go around. Joe. 166 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,833 Uh, Joe Strickland, CBS. 167 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,458 Howard Wenke, also CBS. 168 00:07:40,541 --> 00:07:42,583 Roger Otter, Philip Morris. 169 00:07:42,666 --> 00:07:45,125 Irwin Gotlieb, attorney for Desilu. 170 00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:47,791 Sam Stein, attorney for Lucille Ball. 171 00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:50,333 Tip Tribby, VP of Public Relations for Philip Morris. 172 00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:53,958 Tip, if Winchell had it cold, he'd have used her name, 173 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,625 it would have been at the top of the show, not the bottom, 174 00:07:56,708 --> 00:08:00,000 and this morning, we'd be reading about it on the front page of every paper. 175 00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:01,541 - Am I right? - Yes. 176 00:08:01,625 --> 00:08:02,875 They don't have it. 177 00:08:02,958 --> 00:08:05,601 Can you see where CBS might be concerned that there's an it to have? 178 00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:07,916 - Do you see that? - Uh, couldn't follow you. 179 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,767 Lucy, you need to tell me right here and now what the hell is going on. 180 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,434 You don't want to talk to my wife like that, amigo. 181 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:13,809 Or what, Des, you're gonna beat me up? 182 00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:14,916 Oh, she will. 183 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,166 So we're done with introductions? 184 00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:19,333 I'm not a Communist, I've never been a Communist, 185 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,125 but technically, yeah, I am. 186 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:22,666 Jesus Christ. 187 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,976 Do you get what's happening here? 188 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,416 Do you know that this is not funny? 189 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:28,041 Yes, I do get what's happening, and, yes, I know it's not funny. 190 00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:30,250 - Lucy... - My father died when I was very young. 191 00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:33,133 I was raised by my mother and my grandfather, a man named Fred C. Hunt. 192 00:08:33,166 --> 00:08:35,291 I'd like everyone but Howard to leave the room. 193 00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:37,250 Philip Morris pays for the show. 194 00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,833 And they get their money's worth, so give us a minute, would you? 195 00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:43,625 She's smoking a Chesterfield. 196 00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:46,184 Could she at least smoke one of the seven brands Philip Morris offers? 197 00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:48,208 Got it. Got it. 198 00:08:48,291 --> 00:08:50,833 Thank you. 199 00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:57,750 Fred C. Hunt, my grandfather, was a member of the party. 200 00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:00,208 This was in the early '30s. I was in my early 20s. 201 00:09:00,291 --> 00:09:02,708 He never used the word "Communist." 202 00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:04,511 But he cared about workers, the working man. 203 00:09:04,583 --> 00:09:09,083 He raised my little brother and me, and I wanted to please him. 204 00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,541 So I checked the box. 205 00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:14,142 Back then, it wasn't considered much worse than being a Republican. 206 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:15,166 Hmm. 207 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,892 - Have you been to a meeting? - No. 208 00:09:16,916 --> 00:09:17,916 - Never? - No. 209 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,916 - You were at a cocktail party, later you found out that people... - No. 210 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,916 Have you ever subscribed to a publication... 211 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,500 My entire relationship with Communism is, 20 years ago, I checked a box. 212 00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:28,458 Why is this coming out now? 213 00:09:28,541 --> 00:09:31,333 The committee investigated her and cleared her. 214 00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:34,833 But then last week, uh, William Wheeler convened a special session out here, 215 00:09:34,916 --> 00:09:38,750 a private session, called her in again, and that's why we're sitting here. 216 00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:48,291 And nobody's picked it up? 217 00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,125 Nobody's picked up the story. 218 00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:52,808 Not a single paper, not a single news network, including your own. 219 00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:56,583 Maybe. 220 00:09:56,666 --> 00:09:58,041 Maybe we're out of this. 221 00:09:58,125 --> 00:09:59,333 We just don't know yet. 222 00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:01,625 When will we? 223 00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:06,000 If you tape a show Friday night, means you still have a show. 224 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,875 Okay. 225 00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:22,583 You and me, 226 00:10:22,666 --> 00:10:24,791 we've been through worse than this. 227 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,625 We have? 228 00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:27,916 No. 229 00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,791 That's what I thought. 230 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,583 Hey. The whole piece was invented out of thin air? 231 00:10:36,666 --> 00:10:40,333 - Huh? - Four pages, 1,500 words? 232 00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:42,000 Are you being funny right now? 233 00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:44,500 That is the second time someone's asked me that this morning. 234 00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:46,743 I'm Lucille Ball. When I'm being funny, you'll know it. 235 00:10:46,791 --> 00:10:49,333 They invented the whole thing? 236 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,250 You don't think we got bigger fish to fry? 237 00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:54,094 - They invented the whole thing? - Yes, they invented the whole thing. 238 00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:55,405 I was on the boat playing cards. 239 00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:57,875 They invented the whole thing, and I'm angry at them. 240 00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,601 And I'll do something about it, but right now... 241 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:00,625 - Got it. - Hmm. 242 00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:01,958 Priorities. 243 00:11:02,041 --> 00:11:03,041 You're right. 244 00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:05,208 Say that again. "Desi, you're right." 245 00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:06,875 No. 246 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:11,333 Everything's gonna be fine. 247 00:11:11,416 --> 00:11:13,500 Nothing's gonna happen to you. I won't allow it. 248 00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:16,291 I just won't. 249 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,583 Hmm? 250 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,000 - You've never done that before. - I know. 251 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,291 I've seen other people do it in movies I've been in. 252 00:11:38,916 --> 00:11:41,583 For the love of God, old man, this isn't hard. 253 00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:44,625 Rusty Hamer plays Rusty Williams on The Danny Thomas Show. 254 00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:47,500 He's in second grade, and they made him sign a loyalty oath 255 00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,875 when he signed his contract, which I think is ugly. 256 00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:52,708 I don't know why this is tripping you up. It wasn't confusing. 257 00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:54,791 There's no such thing as The Danny Thomas Show. 258 00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:57,583 It's called Make Room for Daddy. Don't tell me comedy. 259 00:11:57,666 --> 00:11:59,666 And if Little Rusty is a Communist, 260 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,934 then I'm gonna beat the shit out of a seven-year-old kid. 261 00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:03,708 - I have no problem with that. - I'm done. 262 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,291 That, right there, 263 00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,750 was funnier than anything you've written so far this year. 264 00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,208 That's not... 265 00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:12,791 - I've written plenty of funny... - No. 266 00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:23,541 Good morning! 267 00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:29,125 Mm. Don Glass is directing this week? 268 00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,083 We'll be fine. 269 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,392 You're wondering what's going on. 270 00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:35,416 No matter what's going on, we all support you a thousand percent. 271 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:38,059 I'd like to find out what's going on before I make that commitment. 272 00:12:38,083 --> 00:12:42,208 A long time ago, Lucy accidentally checked the wrong box on her voter registration. 273 00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:44,500 That's the first act of a new episode right there. 274 00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:46,916 - Yeah, "Lucy Gets Blacklisted." - That's not a joke, Bob. 275 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000 You made the joke. I just put the button... 276 00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:50,916 Last week, she testified in a closed session. 277 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,750 - She was cleared. - Okay. 278 00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:54,041 Yeah? She was cleared. 279 00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:56,767 So I don't know where Winchell got his information, but it was wrong. 280 00:12:56,791 --> 00:12:59,083 As you can see, it was not picked up by any newspaper. 281 00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:00,416 So let's do our show. 282 00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,333 Jess, it's your stage. 283 00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:05,208 I Love Lucy, episode 204. 284 00:13:05,291 --> 00:13:07,458 Season two, episode four. 285 00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:09,208 "Ethel and Fred Fight." 286 00:13:09,291 --> 00:13:11,916 Teleplay by Bob Carroll, Madelyn Pugh and myself. 287 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,500 Took three of you to write this one? 288 00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:16,500 Okay, come on. And directing this week, Donald Glass is back with us. 289 00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:19,463 - Let's give him a hand. - - Hey, thanks. It's good to be back. 290 00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:25,291 Act one, "Interior, the Ricardo's living room, night." 291 00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,208 Excuse me. Donald. 292 00:13:27,291 --> 00:13:29,166 - Y-Yes? - Good morning. I'm Lucille Ball. 293 00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:30,875 I sure know that, Lucy. 294 00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:33,267 I wanted to make sure because you haven't been here in a while. 295 00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:34,976 Is it because you've been going through puberty? 296 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,250 I look young, yes, but I went through it a long time ago, 297 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:41,083 and I haven't been here because I've been directing at Danny Thomas. 298 00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:42,833 With the Communist kid? 299 00:13:42,916 --> 00:13:44,083 - Fuck off. - Jesus Christ. 300 00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:45,566 You don't have to fuck off, 301 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:49,166 but you do need to know that Danny does jokes... few people do it better. 302 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,958 I do physical comedy. 303 00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:54,541 - I've seen every episode of the show. - So have 60 million other people. 304 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,666 Are none of them professional television directors? 305 00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:57,666 She's kidding. 306 00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:58,833 - I can tell. - Ah. 307 00:13:58,916 --> 00:14:01,041 I'm hazing you a little, Donald. 308 00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:03,565 It's just my way of saying I have no confidence in you at all. 309 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,833 All right, all right, all right. 310 00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:08,583 We haven't gotten off to a great start this morning, I think. 311 00:14:08,666 --> 00:14:10,851 And I have no idea what the fuck you were talking about, Bill. 312 00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:12,875 Ah, Des, I'm begging you, don't ask. 313 00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:14,083 All right, no problem. 314 00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:17,333 I just wanted to say that this show is made by Desilu Productions, 315 00:14:17,416 --> 00:14:19,958 whose president is speaking to you right now. 316 00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:24,208 And for the next 30 minutes, I don't want to hear a word that is not in this script. 317 00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:25,731 - It's your stage. - Thank you. 318 00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:29,625 "Lucy's putting the finishing touches on a fancy dinner table... 319 00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:31,458 good china, silver, et cetera." 320 00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:34,083 Uh, the table is set for four but there are only three chairs. 321 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,851 - I-I should've put that in the, in the stage direction. - Okay. 322 00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,684 Well, technically, it's two chairs and a piano bench. 323 00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:39,875 For a total of? 324 00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:41,291 Three chairs. 325 00:14:41,375 --> 00:14:43,392 "Lucy's putting the finishing touches on a fancy dinner table... 326 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,875 good china, silver, et cetera." 327 00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:47,791 Table's set for four but there's only three chairs. 328 00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:48,958 "After a moment, 329 00:14:49,041 --> 00:14:50,375 "the door opens and Ricky enters. 330 00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:52,750 "Lucy doesn't hear him. 331 00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:53,851 "Ricky tiptoes in back of her. 332 00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,791 - Ricky puts his..." - Why not? 333 00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:57,750 Sorry? 334 00:14:59,083 --> 00:15:00,375 Why doesn't Lucy hear him? 335 00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:01,767 Well, he's about to do that thing where you cover someone's eyes 336 00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:02,791 and you say, "Guess who." 337 00:15:02,875 --> 00:15:04,083 I understand it's a setup. 338 00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:05,166 I understand 339 00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:06,875 why we need Lucy to not hear him. 340 00:15:06,958 --> 00:15:11,000 I just don't understand why, in an apartment this size, Lucy doesn't hear... 341 00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:15,458 or, for that matter, see... the front door open when she's standing 12 feet from it. 342 00:15:18,541 --> 00:15:19,791 We'll work on that. 343 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:20,916 Thanks. 344 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,880 "Ricky tiptoes in back of her and reaches around 345 00:15:22,916 --> 00:15:24,666 and covers her eyes with his hands." 346 00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:25,750 Guess who it is. 347 00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:27,625 Bill? Pat? 348 00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:29,625 - Sam? - No. 349 00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:31,458 - Ralph? - "Ricky reacts to this." 350 00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:32,958 No, it's me. 351 00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:35,750 Oh, yes, of course. 352 00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,166 Oh, hang on. 353 00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:40,291 Are we supposed to believe that Ricky believes that Lucy 354 00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:42,226 - really doesn't know it's him? - Want to do this now? 355 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:45,541 That Ricky believes that Lucy is not only unfamiliar with his voice... 356 00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:48,125 which, let's not forget, has a Cuban accent... 357 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,666 but that he really believes there are at least seven other men 358 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,000 who routinely walk into their apartment? 359 00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:55,000 She has a pretty good point. 360 00:15:55,083 --> 00:15:58,041 - She has four or five pretty good points. - All right. 361 00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,184 W-We'll write a better joke or Ricky will know that Lucy's joking. 362 00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,601 - Ah. - We can change the names. 363 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:04,208 - Pedro, Pablo, Jose. - What? 364 00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:05,434 Because they're Spanish names. 365 00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:07,166 I mean Latin names. 366 00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:08,666 They're Cuban names. 367 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,476 Thanks for clearing that up, professor. 368 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,434 - I'm just, you know... - Okay, "Ricky takes his hands away 369 00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:13,625 and turns her around." 370 00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:15,916 - No, it's me. - Oh, yes, of course. 371 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,833 - Uh, uh... - "She snaps her fingers 372 00:16:17,916 --> 00:16:20,101 and pretends she can't remember his name." 373 00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:22,083 - Very funny. - "Ricky kisses her 374 00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,351 and then notices the table setup." 375 00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:24,583 Hey, company for dinner? 376 00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:25,958 - Uh-huh. - Who is it? 377 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,583 "Lucy elaborately ignores him." 378 00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:30,166 How do you like the new water glasses, Ricky? 379 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,434 Who's coming for dinner, Lucy? 380 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,875 Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight? 381 00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,083 Lucy, who is it? 382 00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,708 Some people. 383 00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:39,541 Lucy... 384 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:44,333 Whom is coming here for dinner tonight? 385 00:16:44,416 --> 00:16:47,083 Whom? You mean besides "meem" and "youm"? 386 00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:50,767 Never mind that. What are their names? 387 00:16:50,791 --> 00:16:53,750 - Fred and Ethel Mertz. - Wait a minute. 388 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:56,809 I thought you said Fred and Ethel had a big fight and they were mad at each other. 389 00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:57,976 They are. 390 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,767 I thought you said they weren't speaking to each other. 391 00:16:59,791 --> 00:17:01,250 They aren't. 392 00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:03,625 - And that he was staying at the Y. - He is. 393 00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:06,083 - And that she won't let him in the house. - She won't. 394 00:17:06,166 --> 00:17:11,041 Well, if they are and they aren't and he is and she won't, how come? 395 00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:12,708 Well... 396 00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:15,541 Lucy Esmeralda McGillicuddy Ricardo. 397 00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:16,875 Oh... 398 00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:19,458 That's nice, but is the rhythm getting old too early? 399 00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:20,750 We'll work on that. 400 00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:23,993 'Cause we want to live up to the quality of the writing you were used to at RKO. 401 00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:29,458 - That was gutsy. - That was... 402 00:17:29,541 --> 00:17:33,958 It was a joke about the writing at RKO and not... 403 00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:35,708 Yeah? 404 00:17:35,791 --> 00:17:37,750 Obviously not an insult aimed at Lucy. 405 00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:42,791 Looking back, it may have been an insult aimed at Lucy. 406 00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:44,750 Which was very unusual. 407 00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:46,125 Lucy and I were close. 408 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,767 Okay, let's take it from... 409 00:17:49,791 --> 00:17:51,517 Look, she was always tough on the writing, 410 00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:53,333 she pressed down hard on each beat, 411 00:17:53,416 --> 00:17:55,791 but that week... 412 00:17:55,875 --> 00:18:00,083 it was like her life depended on whether a joke was a "B" or "B"-plus. 413 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,934 "She tries to make her way past him on her way to the kitchen, 414 00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:04,125 but he holds out his hand and blocks the way." 415 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,517 There was a Broadway show 416 00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:07,625 called Too Many Girls. 417 00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:08,833 It was terrible. 418 00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:11,791 One of the stars of Too Many Girls was Desi. 419 00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:14,041 Too Many Girls. 420 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:18,625 RKO decided to make a very bad Broadway show into... 421 00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:22,041 and I still can't believe it... an even worse movie. 422 00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:25,541 They kept Desi in the cast, but the second female lead was replaced 423 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,333 by the queen of the "B" movies, Lucille Ball. 424 00:18:28,416 --> 00:18:30,166 A couple of days before shooting started, 425 00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:34,791 Desi was on a soundstage working with a piano and a drum and Ann Miller. 426 00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:37,166 Here's what you have to understand. 427 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:42,041 A more handsome, charming man than Desi you've never met. 428 00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:45,708 Standing off, away from the pack of chorus girls, is Lucy, 429 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,208 who was unrecognizable because she was still in the middle of shooting 430 00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:51,791 Dance, Girl, Dance, playing a burlesque girl 431 00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:53,541 who'd just been beaten up by her pimp. 432 00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:56,333 So she was... unrecognizable. 433 00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:58,083 That's how they met. 434 00:18:58,166 --> 00:19:00,750 ♪ She could shake the maracas ♪ 435 00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:05,041 ♪ He could play the guitar ♪ 436 00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:06,875 ♪ But he lived in Havana ♪ 437 00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:09,750 ♪ And she down in Rio del Mar ♪ 438 00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:15,166 ♪ And she shook the maracas ♪ 439 00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:18,750 ♪ In a Portuguese bar ♪ 440 00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,625 ♪ While he strummed in Havana ♪ 441 00:19:20,708 --> 00:19:23,416 ♪ The distance between them was far ♪ 442 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,291 ♪ But by and by ♪ 443 00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:32,541 ♪ He got a job with a band in Harlem ♪ 444 00:19:32,625 --> 00:19:36,541 ♪ She got a job with a band in Harlem ♪ 445 00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:39,583 ♪ Ay, ay, ay ♪ 446 00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,416 ♪ He said, "I'm the attraction" ♪ 447 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:52,208 ♪ She said, "I am the star" ♪ 448 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,208 ♪ But they finally married ♪ 449 00:19:54,291 --> 00:19:58,333 ♪ And now see how happy they are ♪ 450 00:19:58,416 --> 00:20:01,583 ♪ So shake your maracas ♪ 451 00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:04,750 ♪ And play your guitar. ♪ 452 00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:07,875 Thank you. 453 00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:09,416 - Mr. Arnaz? - Yes. 454 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:13,375 I'm Desiderio Alberto Arnaz y de Acha III, but just my mother calls me that. 455 00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:14,833 - Desi. Desi. - I'm Angie. 456 00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:17,142 I'm in the chorus and I wanted to say I'm looking forward to working with you. 457 00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:18,958 I'm looking forward, too, Angie. 458 00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,750 - Patty. - Patty. 459 00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:22,750 - Uh, short for Patricia? - Yes. 460 00:20:22,833 --> 00:20:25,583 - Also in the chorus? - Mm-hmm. Dancing chorus. 461 00:20:25,666 --> 00:20:28,416 - Oh. - "Do you remember the first time we met? 462 00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:34,833 You were rudely attentive, but now you're obnoxiously indifferent." 463 00:20:34,916 --> 00:20:36,625 What? 464 00:20:36,708 --> 00:20:39,625 It's a line from our movie, dumb-dumb. 465 00:20:39,708 --> 00:20:41,583 Do we know each other? 466 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,791 No. 467 00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:47,250 Desi? 468 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,458 I'm Daisy. 469 00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:52,666 ♪ A la nanita nana ♪ 470 00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:57,083 ♪ Nanita her, nanita her ♪ 471 00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:59,541 ♪ My girl is sleepy ♪ 472 00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:03,416 ♪ Bless him, bless him ♪ 473 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:10,208 ♪ Be silent while the cradle rocks ♪ 474 00:21:10,291 --> 00:21:17,291 ♪ To the nanny nana, nanita her ♪ 475 00:21:18,750 --> 00:21:21,083 ♪ To the nanny nana ♪ 476 00:21:21,166 --> 00:21:25,166 ♪ Nanita her, nanita her ♪ 477 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,708 ♪ My girl is sleepy ♪ 478 00:21:27,791 --> 00:21:31,208 ♪ Bless him, bless him ♪ 479 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,750 ♪ My... ♪ 480 00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:37,000 "Do you remember the first time we met?" 481 00:21:37,083 --> 00:21:40,333 If we'd met, I'd remember. 482 00:21:40,416 --> 00:21:42,309 "You were rudely attentive, but now you're obnoxiously..." 483 00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:44,041 Wait. 484 00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:46,458 - That was you? - "...indifferent." 485 00:21:46,541 --> 00:21:48,250 That was me, yeah. 486 00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,583 - This studio has talented makeup artists. - "I'm Angie. 487 00:21:50,666 --> 00:21:51,875 "I'm in the chorus. 488 00:21:51,958 --> 00:21:53,976 I just want to say, when I drink, I take off my clothes." 489 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,708 I'm so curious, I have to ask. 490 00:21:56,791 --> 00:21:59,208 How did you know Patty was short for Patricia? 491 00:21:59,291 --> 00:22:01,250 - My name is Desiderio Alberto Arnaz... - Ah. 492 00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,208 I don't have that kind of time. 493 00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:06,541 And you're Lucille Ball. 494 00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:10,666 Use a line on me you've never road-tested on anyone. 495 00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:11,750 I dare you. 496 00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:17,958 Would you like to learn how to rumba? 497 00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:21,666 All right. Nice. 498 00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:23,291 And, yes, I would. 499 00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:26,375 - Ah. - But there's absolutely no chance you haven't used that before. 500 00:22:49,958 --> 00:22:51,250 Mm-hmm. 501 00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:57,101 I want you to know I'm not trying to be forward. 502 00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:59,041 I'm showing you this because it'll come in handy 503 00:22:59,125 --> 00:23:01,500 for your rumba number in the movie. 504 00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:04,000 I don't have a rumba number in the movie. 505 00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:06,041 - No rumba? - No. 506 00:23:06,125 --> 00:23:09,708 Oh, that's a sign of a poorly written screenplay. 507 00:23:11,375 --> 00:23:13,583 Well, we should dance to something else. 508 00:23:13,666 --> 00:23:15,500 Sure. 509 00:23:22,791 --> 00:23:25,000 Why did you come to Hollywood? 510 00:23:27,458 --> 00:23:29,416 I got kicked out of New York. 511 00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:32,333 - Seriously. - I mean it. 512 00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:35,625 I got kicked out of acting school for not being good enough. 513 00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:39,333 - Get out of here. - I will not. 514 00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:46,791 I got some modeling work, I was hired and fired as a Ziegfeld Girl 515 00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:50,541 but hired as a Goldwyn Girl, and that's what took me out here. 516 00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,041 Hmm. 517 00:23:52,125 --> 00:23:53,791 Why did you come to Hollywood? 518 00:23:53,875 --> 00:23:56,083 The Bolsheviks burned my house down. 519 00:23:58,708 --> 00:24:01,500 - So a different reason. - Mm, yeah. 520 00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:05,083 ♪ Lucille ♪ 521 00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:10,708 ♪ There's not much that rhymes with "Lucille" ♪ 522 00:24:10,791 --> 00:24:12,333 ♪ Mm... ♪ 523 00:24:12,416 --> 00:24:14,875 ♪ Bastille ♪ 524 00:24:14,958 --> 00:24:18,958 ♪ But who'd write a song about that? ♪ 525 00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:28,291 I borrowed part of your tuxedo. 526 00:24:37,458 --> 00:24:40,750 It comes with pants, but, uh, I'm wearing them. 527 00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:42,666 Not for long, pal. 528 00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:47,416 So... 529 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:48,875 Yes? 530 00:24:48,958 --> 00:24:50,416 Can I call you Lucy? 531 00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:52,916 I think we should keep this professional, don't you? 532 00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:55,958 - I was kidding. - So was I. 533 00:24:56,041 --> 00:24:58,541 Mm. Nice dry delivery. 534 00:24:58,625 --> 00:25:02,083 Uh, what's your, mm... 535 00:25:02,166 --> 00:25:03,166 ambition? 536 00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:05,208 My ambition? For tonight? 537 00:25:05,291 --> 00:25:06,833 I wasn't making myself clear? 538 00:25:06,916 --> 00:25:09,083 No, I don't mean ambition. 539 00:25:09,166 --> 00:25:10,541 Ay, what do I mean? 540 00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:12,375 Uh... 541 00:25:12,458 --> 00:25:14,250 - Goals? - No. 542 00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:16,250 Mm... future. 543 00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:18,500 - Dreams. - What are my future dreams? 544 00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:20,291 I should've stuck with ambition. 545 00:25:20,375 --> 00:25:21,583 Are you interviewing me? 546 00:25:21,666 --> 00:25:22,875 Yes. 547 00:25:22,958 --> 00:25:24,583 Okay. 548 00:25:24,666 --> 00:25:26,041 I live in a small house. 549 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:27,684 And your ambition is to live in a bigger house. 550 00:25:27,708 --> 00:25:29,291 My ambition is to live in a home. 551 00:25:29,375 --> 00:25:31,375 Like for old folks? 552 00:25:31,458 --> 00:25:34,458 Not a home, not an institution. 553 00:25:34,541 --> 00:25:36,291 - A home. - Ah. 554 00:25:36,375 --> 00:25:38,625 With a family and dinnertime. 555 00:25:38,708 --> 00:25:41,208 Can I ask an impertinent question? 556 00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:43,750 You gonna ask me why I'm not married? 557 00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:46,166 No, I was going to ask you why you're not a movie star. 558 00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:50,583 Why are you playing the second female lead in Too Many Girls? 559 00:25:50,666 --> 00:25:52,375 I'm a contract player at RKO. 560 00:25:52,458 --> 00:25:54,333 I play the roles I'm told to play. 561 00:25:54,416 --> 00:25:56,250 My career's gone as far as it's gonna go. 562 00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:58,500 It's hit cruising altitude. 563 00:25:58,583 --> 00:26:00,166 I'm at peace with that. 564 00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:02,916 So I'd like to be at peace. 565 00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:05,250 I want a home. 566 00:26:05,333 --> 00:26:09,166 You have a lot more talent than the roles you play have allowed you to exhibit. 567 00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:11,000 Now, how would you know I have talent? 568 00:26:11,083 --> 00:26:12,958 Because I have talent. 569 00:26:13,041 --> 00:26:16,166 You could be a serious actor. You should be a star by now. 570 00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:19,416 - But... - But what? 571 00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:22,059 There is also something about your physicality. You are, you are... 572 00:26:22,083 --> 00:26:23,208 Half naked? 573 00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:25,750 Uh, sure. 574 00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:28,375 - But... - But? 575 00:26:28,458 --> 00:26:32,125 You, uh... There isn't an English word. 576 00:26:32,208 --> 00:26:35,875 Tú estás... dotada cineticamente. 577 00:26:35,958 --> 00:26:37,041 What does that mean? 578 00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:40,916 It means you're kinetically gifted. 579 00:26:42,416 --> 00:26:43,916 No one's noticed that? 580 00:27:19,333 --> 00:27:21,083 Hi. Sorry. 581 00:27:21,166 --> 00:27:23,250 I need to use the phone to call my fiancé. 582 00:27:23,333 --> 00:27:24,541 Sure. 583 00:27:25,916 --> 00:27:27,291 Wait, what? 584 00:27:27,375 --> 00:27:29,041 It'll just take a second. 585 00:27:29,125 --> 00:27:31,666 Your fiancé? 586 00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:33,250 Outside line please. 587 00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:35,958 I mean, not that I haven't... 588 00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:39,166 It's just that I got the sense that we... 589 00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:40,500 - One sec. - Yeah. 590 00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:44,000 Last night, I felt it was... 591 00:27:44,083 --> 00:27:46,416 It's me. Hey. 592 00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:48,100 You don't love me, and I don't love you, 593 00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:49,601 and you cheat on me every chance you can get, 594 00:27:49,625 --> 00:27:52,625 and I pretend I'm stupid, so I'm moving out. 595 00:27:52,708 --> 00:27:55,875 I'll send someone to pick up my clothes, okay? 596 00:27:55,958 --> 00:27:58,791 Love you. But, you know, not really. 597 00:28:00,166 --> 00:28:03,250 I interrupted you. What were you saying? 598 00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:07,375 And we fade to black. End of show. 599 00:28:08,666 --> 00:28:09,666 Thank you. 600 00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:11,041 Notes upstairs. 601 00:28:11,125 --> 00:28:14,208 Back onstage in an hour. 602 00:28:14,291 --> 00:28:15,333 - All right. - All right. 603 00:28:15,416 --> 00:28:16,541 - We'll see ya. - Yeah. 604 00:28:16,625 --> 00:28:18,333 - Okay, honey. See you in a bit. - Mm-hmm. 605 00:28:42,666 --> 00:28:43,666 It's madness. 606 00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:44,958 Yeah? 607 00:28:45,041 --> 00:28:47,500 I thought you'd be the first one to refuse to work with her. 608 00:28:47,583 --> 00:28:49,000 You mean that? 609 00:28:49,083 --> 00:28:51,125 Mm. 610 00:28:51,208 --> 00:28:52,750 You're not fond of Communists. 611 00:28:55,208 --> 00:28:57,250 I'm less fond of the committee. 612 00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:58,750 Ah. 613 00:29:07,583 --> 00:29:08,583 Des. 614 00:29:08,666 --> 00:29:10,833 Hmm? 615 00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:13,375 When the soldiers came 616 00:29:13,458 --> 00:29:15,083 for your family... 617 00:29:17,208 --> 00:29:18,666 ...how scary was it? 618 00:29:22,708 --> 00:29:27,208 You're giving me that look that says, "I don't get scared of nothing." 619 00:29:28,958 --> 00:29:30,958 Uh... 620 00:29:31,041 --> 00:29:33,333 They killed all the animals. 621 00:29:33,416 --> 00:29:34,833 Uh, not-not for food. 622 00:29:34,916 --> 00:29:37,750 They just killed all the animals. 623 00:29:38,791 --> 00:29:40,291 I still don't know why they did that. 624 00:29:40,375 --> 00:29:41,500 Uh... 625 00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:49,166 It's six to five and pick 'em 626 00:29:49,250 --> 00:29:52,541 we've already done the last episode of this show. 627 00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:55,166 This show, everyone who works here, 628 00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:58,333 Desilu, Lucy's whole career... mine, too... 629 00:29:58,416 --> 00:30:01,500 it may have ended last night and we just don't know it yet. 630 00:30:04,416 --> 00:30:06,291 Are you out of your mind? 631 00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:08,125 I get plenty scared. 632 00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:19,875 Fucking madness. 633 00:30:39,791 --> 00:30:40,916 Lucy? 634 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,625 Come on in. 635 00:30:43,708 --> 00:30:46,833 Madelyn was way out of line, and I'll talk to Jess. 636 00:30:46,916 --> 00:30:49,291 - No, I don't care about that. - I care about it. 637 00:30:49,375 --> 00:30:51,750 You told them I checked the wrong box. 638 00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:53,041 Who? 639 00:30:53,125 --> 00:30:55,583 Before the table read. You told them I checked the wrong box. 640 00:30:55,666 --> 00:30:58,250 Ah. 641 00:30:58,333 --> 00:31:02,708 Uh, uh, well, it takes fewer words to say that than the truth. 642 00:31:02,791 --> 00:31:04,375 Doesn't make me look like a simpleton 643 00:31:04,458 --> 00:31:06,875 who's ill-equipped to participate in democracy? 644 00:31:06,958 --> 00:31:09,458 It was simpler, and it's nobody's goddamn business. 645 00:31:09,541 --> 00:31:11,500 Well, no. 646 00:31:11,583 --> 00:31:13,517 Pretty obviously it's everybody's goddamn business. 647 00:31:13,541 --> 00:31:15,958 Ay. 648 00:31:18,458 --> 00:31:20,625 You-you... you don't have to keep checking the papers. 649 00:31:20,708 --> 00:31:23,875 I've got people who'll let me know the moment an editor thinks about it. 650 00:31:23,958 --> 00:31:25,851 There's something wrong with the story, they know it, 651 00:31:25,875 --> 00:31:27,791 and that's why no one's reporting on Winchell. 652 00:31:27,875 --> 00:31:31,250 No. The Confidential story. 653 00:31:31,333 --> 00:31:33,041 That's what's getting picked up. 654 00:31:51,583 --> 00:31:53,541 I like this a lot, Tommy. 655 00:31:53,625 --> 00:31:55,851 - That's a great color for you. - Oh, I really like this. 656 00:31:55,875 --> 00:31:57,625 And I can cinch the back a little. 657 00:31:57,708 --> 00:31:59,868 - I can lower the neckline. - Oh, not on CBS you can't. 658 00:32:01,541 --> 00:32:03,083 But still, now we're talking. 659 00:32:03,166 --> 00:32:04,500 Now we're cooking with gas. 660 00:32:04,583 --> 00:32:07,583 - Should I bring out some shoes? - Oh, yes, please. 661 00:32:10,833 --> 00:32:11,916 Yeah? 662 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,416 That's a nice dress. 663 00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:15,625 I thought so, too. 664 00:32:15,708 --> 00:32:18,041 You borrowing it from wardrobe for a cocktail party? 665 00:32:18,125 --> 00:32:19,500 Dinner party. 666 00:32:19,583 --> 00:32:20,583 Where? 667 00:32:20,666 --> 00:32:23,583 The apartment of Ricky and Lucy Ricardo. 668 00:32:23,666 --> 00:32:24,666 This is for the show? 669 00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:26,958 - Lucy's invited Ethel... - Oh, Viv. 670 00:32:27,041 --> 00:32:28,125 I know, but listen. 671 00:32:28,208 --> 00:32:29,888 I'm thinking Lucy's invited her to dinner. 672 00:32:29,916 --> 00:32:33,333 She thinks she's being fixed up with an eligible guy. 673 00:32:33,416 --> 00:32:34,750 She'd want to look nice. 674 00:32:36,916 --> 00:32:38,625 It's something new for the character. 675 00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:41,208 But the character's still Ethel Mertz, right? 676 00:32:41,291 --> 00:32:42,500 Yeah. 677 00:32:46,375 --> 00:32:47,291 Hey, don't. 678 00:32:47,375 --> 00:32:50,000 "Does Desi Love Lucy Loosely?" 679 00:32:50,083 --> 00:32:51,791 They took time on that. 680 00:32:51,875 --> 00:32:54,750 "If neighbors hear screams of rage followed by the sound of..." 681 00:32:54,833 --> 00:32:56,809 - Isn't there enough going on with... - "...breaking crockery coming from 682 00:32:56,833 --> 00:32:59,017 - the Arnaz house this month..." - I'd be more concerned about... 683 00:32:59,041 --> 00:33:00,851 "...they'll know what is happening without having to investigate. 684 00:33:00,875 --> 00:33:02,517 "The red-haired missus has just finished reading 685 00:33:02,541 --> 00:33:03,934 - Confidential's report on..." - In your life, have you ever 686 00:33:03,958 --> 00:33:05,708 taken this stuff seriously? 687 00:33:05,791 --> 00:33:07,916 I take my marriage seriously. 688 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,708 And Desi said? 689 00:33:09,791 --> 00:33:13,166 "Lucy, I ain't been with no girls since the moment I saw you." 690 00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:15,125 - Then believe him. - I do believe him. 691 00:33:15,208 --> 00:33:16,601 It's an old picture. We were there together. 692 00:33:16,625 --> 00:33:18,375 He was playing cards on the boat Wednesday. 693 00:33:18,458 --> 00:33:20,458 You'd be more concerned about what? 694 00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:23,041 - What? - You said you'd "be more concerned about," 695 00:33:23,125 --> 00:33:24,166 and I cut you off. 696 00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:25,291 The Winchell broadcast? 697 00:33:25,375 --> 00:33:26,958 Yeah. 698 00:33:27,041 --> 00:33:29,000 I don't get to choose just one. 699 00:33:29,083 --> 00:33:31,458 I'm concerned with both, the first thing, second thing. 700 00:33:31,541 --> 00:33:33,833 Understood. What about the third? 701 00:33:33,916 --> 00:33:35,291 What'd they say? 702 00:33:35,375 --> 00:33:38,708 We didn't think yesterday was the best day to tell them about the third thing. 703 00:33:38,791 --> 00:33:40,583 - Right. - We're doing it now. 704 00:33:40,666 --> 00:33:45,000 First Jess, then the network, then Philip Morris. 705 00:33:46,083 --> 00:33:47,958 Could be worse. 706 00:33:48,041 --> 00:33:49,208 How? 707 00:33:49,291 --> 00:33:51,083 You could be playing Ethel. 708 00:33:51,166 --> 00:33:52,666 Got it. 709 00:34:06,125 --> 00:34:08,291 Is Lucy on the phone too long at the top? 710 00:34:08,375 --> 00:34:11,791 We only hear one side of the call. Are we staying too long at the fair? 711 00:34:13,208 --> 00:34:15,958 You don't need to write down everything we say in here. 712 00:34:19,708 --> 00:34:21,250 We'll know when it's on its feet. 713 00:34:21,333 --> 00:34:22,666 Good morning. 714 00:34:22,750 --> 00:34:24,625 Morning, guys. 715 00:34:24,708 --> 00:34:25,791 Hey. 716 00:34:25,875 --> 00:34:28,101 Mary Pat, would you mind giving us the room for a moment please? 717 00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:30,750 - Of course, Mr. Arnaz. - Thank you. 718 00:34:36,458 --> 00:34:38,958 - "Of course, Mr. Arnaz." - She's nice. 719 00:34:39,041 --> 00:34:40,166 You're in enough trouble. 720 00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:41,458 You're not in trouble. 721 00:34:41,541 --> 00:34:43,000 We need to talk. 722 00:34:43,083 --> 00:34:45,163 - No, don't tell me... - No, no, no, no. No, we're... 723 00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:46,208 No, no, we're still okay. 724 00:34:46,291 --> 00:34:47,517 - No one's picked up the story. - All right. 725 00:34:47,541 --> 00:34:48,851 Looking at Lucy's face, I thought for sure... 726 00:34:48,875 --> 00:34:50,208 I'm pregnant. 727 00:34:54,666 --> 00:34:56,500 That's not at all what I was gonna say. 728 00:34:56,583 --> 00:34:58,458 That's what we came to talk about. 729 00:34:58,541 --> 00:35:01,416 We were gonna have this conversation yesterday, but other things were... 730 00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:04,000 - Yeah, yeah, sure. - Well, this is a one-two punch. 731 00:35:04,083 --> 00:35:05,541 It's not a punch. I'm having a baby. 732 00:35:07,083 --> 00:35:09,041 What do we do now? 733 00:35:12,833 --> 00:35:15,041 I know it seems like no one said congratulations, 734 00:35:15,125 --> 00:35:16,809 - but that cannot be, as these are three of... - No, no, no, no. 735 00:35:16,833 --> 00:35:18,601 - ...our closest friends and colleagues. - You're right. You're right. Sorry. 736 00:35:18,625 --> 00:35:19,976 - Oh, it's wonderful news. - Yeah, hey, congratulations. 737 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:21,184 - Yes! Congratulations. - Yeah, that's great. 738 00:35:21,208 --> 00:35:22,458 - Thank you. - Another baby. 739 00:35:22,541 --> 00:35:23,916 - Gracias. - Yeah, mazel tov. 740 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,601 - Gracias. Gracias. - Really, really. - Congratulations, Des. 741 00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:27,666 - Very happy. Very happy. - Yeah. 742 00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:29,625 - Very exciting. Yeah. - So, uh... 743 00:35:29,708 --> 00:35:31,166 Yeah. 744 00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:33,250 With Lucie, I was the size of a phone booth, so... 745 00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:34,791 Yeah. 746 00:35:34,875 --> 00:35:36,934 You've got about seven weeks before you have to start 747 00:35:36,958 --> 00:35:39,166 hiding me behind boxes and chairs, 748 00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:43,125 and then another seven weeks after that before I won't fit in the frame. 749 00:35:43,208 --> 00:35:44,541 - What do you want to do? - Do? 750 00:35:44,625 --> 00:35:46,250 Whatever there was to do, we've done it. 751 00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:49,083 - Where does that leave us? - Without a choice. 752 00:35:49,166 --> 00:35:51,583 Lucy Ricardo is gonna have a baby on television. 753 00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:54,934 - No, no, Des. - How many scripts in the bank? 754 00:35:54,958 --> 00:35:56,184 We're-we're five ahead of production. 755 00:35:56,208 --> 00:35:57,392 We're shooting four and we're writing nine. 756 00:35:57,416 --> 00:35:59,291 Four. No harm done. 757 00:35:59,375 --> 00:36:02,000 But whatever script you're working on now, 758 00:36:02,083 --> 00:36:04,375 - episode nine, scratch it. - Okay. 759 00:36:04,458 --> 00:36:07,708 Episode... no, episode nine is now "Lucy Tells Ricky She's Pregnant," 760 00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:09,666 and we work from there. What's that one? 761 00:36:10,791 --> 00:36:12,833 - Which one? - "Lucy Goes to Italy." 762 00:36:12,916 --> 00:36:14,476 We want to send the four of you to Italy. 763 00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:16,642 - Why? - We think it'd be nice to get off our set. 764 00:36:16,666 --> 00:36:18,916 No, why do the Ricardos and Mertzes go to Italy? 765 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,333 - A vacation. - They don't vacation in Europe. 766 00:36:21,416 --> 00:36:23,583 They go to the Grand Canyon. 767 00:36:23,666 --> 00:36:25,500 - They go to Niagara Falls. - Work. 768 00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:27,767 - Ricky's got a gig at a club in Rome. - And what does Lucy do? 769 00:36:27,791 --> 00:36:30,000 She stomps grapes. 770 00:36:30,083 --> 00:36:32,291 Lucy and Ethel go to an Italian vineyard. 771 00:36:32,375 --> 00:36:34,083 - Why? - We don't know yet. 772 00:36:34,166 --> 00:36:35,875 And she stomps grapes. 773 00:36:35,958 --> 00:36:38,708 This vineyard is located in the 19th century? 774 00:36:38,791 --> 00:36:40,642 - They don't stomp grapes anymore? - No. 775 00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:43,309 Okay, so we find the one vineyard where they still stomp grapes. 776 00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:45,041 Come in. 777 00:36:45,125 --> 00:36:47,833 - Sì, signora. You sent for me? - Yes. 778 00:36:47,916 --> 00:36:49,916 Are there any grape vineyards around here? 779 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,666 I'd like to know how they make the wine, 780 00:36:51,750 --> 00:36:54,750 how they pick the grapes, how they press the juice out with their feet. 781 00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:56,559 There is one little town called Turo 782 00:36:56,583 --> 00:36:59,000 - where they still make the wine that way. - Easy. 783 00:36:59,083 --> 00:37:01,083 Why does she want to go to a vineyard? 784 00:37:01,166 --> 00:37:02,958 We don't know yet. 785 00:37:03,041 --> 00:37:04,958 She has an audition for an Italian movie. 786 00:37:05,041 --> 00:37:06,767 What does that have to do with stomping grapes? 787 00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:07,958 The part. 788 00:37:08,041 --> 00:37:10,166 She happens to be just the type I need. 789 00:37:10,250 --> 00:37:12,833 The role of a beautiful Italian redhead 790 00:37:12,916 --> 00:37:15,416 who, uh... como si dice... uh, steps on grapes. 791 00:37:18,041 --> 00:37:19,833 We'll get there. The point is 792 00:37:19,916 --> 00:37:21,934 Lucy in a vat of grapes for five minutes. 793 00:37:21,958 --> 00:37:23,625 I can see it. 794 00:37:46,333 --> 00:37:48,958 What can happen in the vat of grapes? What can she do? 795 00:37:54,541 --> 00:37:56,166 It doesn't matter right now. 796 00:37:56,250 --> 00:37:59,333 We need to get back to... Des, the network isn't gonna allow it 797 00:37:59,416 --> 00:38:01,125 and neither will Philip Morris. Lucy... 798 00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:02,833 Just hang on. 799 00:38:08,166 --> 00:38:09,791 - She loses an earring. - Yes. 800 00:38:09,875 --> 00:38:11,017 - There it is. - What are you talking about? 801 00:38:11,041 --> 00:38:12,083 In the grapes. 802 00:38:32,541 --> 00:38:34,208 Push it to next year. 803 00:38:34,291 --> 00:38:36,142 They're not going to Italy while she's pregnant. 804 00:38:36,166 --> 00:38:38,458 I'll bet you my next paycheck against your next paycheck 805 00:38:38,541 --> 00:38:40,741 that CBS won't even allow us to use the word "pregnant." 806 00:38:40,791 --> 00:38:43,750 - "Lucy Tells the Truth." - That one's Madelyn's idea. 807 00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:46,375 - She got it just seconds after I pitched it. - Folks... 808 00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:49,166 Ricky bets Lucy that she can't go two days without lying, 809 00:38:49,250 --> 00:38:51,059 and we put her in situations where it's hard not to lie. 810 00:38:51,083 --> 00:38:53,000 Okay, it's started. 811 00:38:53,083 --> 00:38:54,750 For the next 48 hours. 812 00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,208 - Okay. - All right. 813 00:38:56,291 --> 00:38:58,833 I can hardly wait to hear you tomorrow afternoon, Lucy. 814 00:38:58,916 --> 00:39:00,000 Why? 815 00:39:00,083 --> 00:39:01,559 We're playing bridge at Carolyn's, remember? 816 00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:04,125 Oh, no, no, no. 817 00:39:04,208 --> 00:39:05,833 I can't spend the afternoon 818 00:39:05,916 --> 00:39:07,636 with three women and have to tell the truth. 819 00:39:07,666 --> 00:39:10,750 I'll call Carolyn and tell her I'm sick. 820 00:39:12,458 --> 00:39:14,416 After 47 hours, 821 00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,958 - she's winning, but in the final hour... - Here it is. 822 00:39:17,041 --> 00:39:19,517 ...Ricky gets a visit from the IRS, and the guy wants to ask about 823 00:39:19,541 --> 00:39:22,416 some questionable things that Ricky's claiming on his deductions. 824 00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:25,226 Lucy's sitting in the living room, too, and of course when she's asked 825 00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:28,041 by the IRS agent to corroborate, she can't tell a lie, so... 826 00:39:28,125 --> 00:39:29,333 That's a funny premise. 827 00:39:29,416 --> 00:39:30,750 Yes, it is. 828 00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:32,458 But lose the IRS scene. 829 00:39:32,541 --> 00:39:33,892 - Could be a good scene. - He's correct. 830 00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:35,142 Once I write it, it could be good. 831 00:39:35,166 --> 00:39:36,833 Ah, Ricky Ricardo loves America. 832 00:39:36,916 --> 00:39:38,208 He loves being an American. 833 00:39:38,291 --> 00:39:40,083 He's grateful to this country. 834 00:39:40,166 --> 00:39:41,416 He'd never cheat on his taxes. 835 00:39:41,500 --> 00:39:44,184 - It's very relatable. Everybody does. - I don't! Neither does Ricky. 836 00:39:44,208 --> 00:39:47,000 Especially when his wife is accused of being un-American. 837 00:39:47,083 --> 00:39:50,708 Look for something else, and start working on the first pregnancy show. 838 00:39:50,791 --> 00:39:52,125 - Listen to me. - What? 839 00:39:52,208 --> 00:39:53,791 They're not gonna let us do it. 840 00:39:53,875 --> 00:39:56,583 - Let that be my problem. - Oh, I wish I could, Des, 841 00:39:56,666 --> 00:39:58,458 but it's very much my problem, okay? 842 00:39:58,541 --> 00:40:01,750 So instead of talking about goddamn grapes, why don't... 843 00:40:02,833 --> 00:40:04,583 Look, what you got to understand is this. 844 00:40:04,666 --> 00:40:06,309 - We don't know... - Jess, they're free to take us off the air 845 00:40:06,333 --> 00:40:09,375 for the rest of the year while continuing to pay our contracts 846 00:40:09,458 --> 00:40:12,083 and answering questions about why motherhood is too salacious 847 00:40:12,166 --> 00:40:16,041 to put on CBS, but something tells me they're not gonna go that route. 848 00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:19,750 Instead, I think Broadcast Standards and Practices will give you 849 00:40:19,833 --> 00:40:22,666 a list of insane restrictions, which might even include 850 00:40:22,750 --> 00:40:24,851 you winning your bet with Desi, and which I have no doubt 851 00:40:24,875 --> 00:40:28,375 the three of you will navigate beautifully. 852 00:40:28,458 --> 00:40:29,583 You told me to be nice. 853 00:40:29,666 --> 00:40:31,541 Good? 854 00:40:31,625 --> 00:40:33,125 Yeah. 855 00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:42,083 I don't care what your first thoughts out of the gate were, 856 00:40:42,166 --> 00:40:45,208 but your first words out of the gate were no good. 857 00:40:45,291 --> 00:40:47,291 And what was with you at the table read? 858 00:40:48,375 --> 00:40:50,833 I'm sorry. She was jumping on every stage direction. 859 00:40:50,916 --> 00:40:51,958 It's her process. 860 00:40:52,041 --> 00:40:54,500 - But that process usually happens in private. - Yes. 861 00:40:54,583 --> 00:40:56,791 And following your advice, maybe every once in a while, 862 00:40:56,875 --> 00:40:59,916 the first words out of her mouth could be "good script." 863 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,041 Well, is this the right week for this shit? 864 00:41:04,125 --> 00:41:06,500 - Hey. - We do seem to be having some success, no? 865 00:41:06,583 --> 00:41:09,208 We're all really tired from working on this week's script. 866 00:41:09,291 --> 00:41:11,291 Oh, are you sleepy? You need a nap? 867 00:41:11,375 --> 00:41:13,215 - Can I talk to you for a second, boss? - Sure. 868 00:41:20,208 --> 00:41:21,808 I'm the executive producer of this show. 869 00:41:21,875 --> 00:41:23,892 You can't manhandle me like that in front of other people. 870 00:41:23,916 --> 00:41:25,458 You just can't do it. My show. 871 00:41:25,541 --> 00:41:26,976 And Madelyn was a hundred percent right. 872 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,916 - Ricky pays his taxes. - I get it. 873 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,041 And we're having the baby on the show. 874 00:41:31,125 --> 00:41:33,125 There's no chance they say yes. 875 00:41:34,208 --> 00:41:36,875 There's no chance they say yes to you. 876 00:41:41,458 --> 00:41:43,458 Did you get all that? 877 00:41:43,541 --> 00:41:44,458 Yes. 878 00:41:44,541 --> 00:41:46,125 That was a joke. 879 00:41:47,125 --> 00:41:49,416 Back to right before Vivian's entrance. 880 00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:51,166 "When do we eat?" 881 00:41:51,250 --> 00:41:53,333 Settle. And action. 882 00:41:53,416 --> 00:41:55,875 Uh, when do we eat? 883 00:41:55,958 --> 00:41:58,083 I've been living on peanut butter sandwiches. 884 00:41:58,166 --> 00:42:00,226 Bill, that line's got to take you over to the table. 885 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:01,892 - Hmm? - You need to cross to the table on that. 886 00:42:01,916 --> 00:42:03,166 Why? 887 00:42:03,250 --> 00:42:04,726 - Because we need to... - So you can see the table, 888 00:42:04,750 --> 00:42:07,666 notice that a fourth place is set and say your next line. 889 00:42:09,833 --> 00:42:11,791 Uh, someone else coming? 890 00:42:11,875 --> 00:42:16,250 Well, Fred, I took the liberty of asking a young lady to be your dinner companion. 891 00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:18,500 - A young lady? - A cute young chick. 892 00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:21,041 - Oh, boy, bring her on. - Uh-uh. 893 00:42:21,125 --> 00:42:22,625 - Hang on. - What? 894 00:42:22,708 --> 00:42:24,916 When I say, "I took the liberty of asking 895 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,892 - a young lady to be your dinner companion..." - Mm-hmm. 896 00:42:26,916 --> 00:42:30,375 ...Ricky should take a sip from a glass of water on the table to keep from laughing. 897 00:42:30,458 --> 00:42:32,142 - And then when I say, "A cute young chick..." - Uh-huh. 898 00:42:32,166 --> 00:42:33,601 ...he should choke on his water a little. 899 00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:35,375 - I like that. - I like it, too. 900 00:42:35,458 --> 00:42:39,416 The very idea that Ethel's a cute young chick should make Desi choke. 901 00:42:41,250 --> 00:42:42,708 That's 15. 902 00:42:42,791 --> 00:42:44,916 - Okay. - That's 15 minutes! 903 00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:47,708 I'll be funny by Friday. 904 00:42:47,791 --> 00:42:50,458 And when can we expect you to be funny? 905 00:43:04,708 --> 00:43:07,416 "Exactly what makes a husband leave home 906 00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:10,958 - is something that has been baffling wives since Adam and Eve." - Enough. 907 00:43:11,041 --> 00:43:14,500 "For an outstanding example, let's take one of the nation's most famous husbands." 908 00:43:14,583 --> 00:43:17,103 - You've memorized it? - I've memorized worse writing than this. 909 00:43:17,166 --> 00:43:19,708 - Yes, it's a tabloid. - "With a curvy, red-haired tidbit 910 00:43:19,791 --> 00:43:24,333 like Lucy waiting for him at home, would Desi be foolish enough..." 911 00:43:24,416 --> 00:43:27,083 - Stop it. - "...to prowl Hollywood like a bachelor wolf? 912 00:43:27,166 --> 00:43:29,166 - If so, why?" - It's made up. 913 00:43:30,250 --> 00:43:32,375 - 20 million readers want to know. - Lucy... 914 00:43:32,458 --> 00:43:34,625 - 20 million and one. - How many times 915 00:43:34,708 --> 00:43:37,708 I got to 'splain where I was and what I was doing? 916 00:43:37,791 --> 00:43:39,833 How many times you got to 'splain? 917 00:43:39,916 --> 00:43:42,291 I can't get enough of that joke. 918 00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:45,125 They document an entire night. 919 00:43:45,208 --> 00:43:47,083 Someone in your gang's a rat. 920 00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:48,166 My gang. 921 00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:53,500 The night they're talking about, I was with Red Skelton and Xavier Cugat. 922 00:43:53,583 --> 00:43:56,708 - Which one of them you think squealed? - They made it up from nothing? 923 00:43:56,791 --> 00:43:59,017 I heard on Winchell the other night that you were a Communist. 924 00:43:59,041 --> 00:44:01,083 That was true, you idiot! 925 00:44:01,166 --> 00:44:03,083 Yeah. That was a bad example. 926 00:44:03,166 --> 00:44:04,666 And I didn't check the wrong box. 927 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,750 Okay, I'm sorry about that. 928 00:44:09,208 --> 00:44:11,416 I believe you. 929 00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:13,583 - I'm just messing around. - Good. 930 00:44:14,916 --> 00:44:18,000 No. That gets you out of the woods, but it puts you into other woods. 931 00:44:18,083 --> 00:44:19,250 What are the other woods? 932 00:44:19,333 --> 00:44:21,375 You don't come home anymore. Did you know that? 933 00:44:21,458 --> 00:44:23,791 - You change subjects faster than... - Keep up. 934 00:44:23,875 --> 00:44:25,166 It's not hard. 935 00:44:25,250 --> 00:44:28,416 I asked, "Did you know you don't come home anymore?" 936 00:44:28,500 --> 00:44:29,833 Of course I come home. 937 00:44:29,916 --> 00:44:32,750 Sometimes I go to the boat and play cards. 938 00:44:32,833 --> 00:44:35,875 We drink, it goes late, it's easier to sleep on the boat. 939 00:44:37,625 --> 00:44:39,375 That used to be once a week, then twice. 940 00:44:39,458 --> 00:44:41,875 Now it's four or five times. 941 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,125 I go home after work, you go to the boat. 942 00:44:48,416 --> 00:44:50,208 You once asked me what my ambition was. 943 00:44:50,291 --> 00:44:51,291 You remember? 944 00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:53,666 Mm-hmm. 945 00:44:53,750 --> 00:44:55,750 And you liked my answer. 946 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,458 She used the word "home" a lot. 947 00:45:00,541 --> 00:45:04,000 She talked about having a home. 948 00:45:04,083 --> 00:45:08,041 Lucy owned three houses, but sometimes, when she fell into a funk, 949 00:45:08,125 --> 00:45:11,833 she'd say... she didn't have a home. 950 00:45:11,916 --> 00:45:14,000 They eloped. 951 00:45:14,083 --> 00:45:15,625 They bought a ranch in Chatsworth. 952 00:45:15,708 --> 00:45:19,833 They were deeply in love and deliriously happy. 953 00:45:19,916 --> 00:45:23,625 What you got to understand is they weren't very happy. 954 00:45:23,708 --> 00:45:25,458 They never saw each other. 955 00:45:25,541 --> 00:45:28,916 Desi and his orchestra were booked at Ciro's. 956 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,875 Lucy was under contract at RKO. 957 00:45:31,958 --> 00:45:36,458 Desi would be done with work around 4:00 a.m. 958 00:45:36,541 --> 00:45:38,625 Lucy had to be in hair and makeup at 5:00 a.m. 959 00:45:38,708 --> 00:45:40,833 They'd meet at the top of Mulholland. 960 00:45:45,833 --> 00:45:47,916 ♪ Babalú ♪ 961 00:45:48,958 --> 00:45:51,083 ♪ Babalú ♪ 962 00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:53,583 ♪ Babalú ♪ 963 00:45:53,666 --> 00:45:55,208 ♪ Ayé ♪ 964 00:45:55,291 --> 00:45:58,000 ♪ Babalú ayé ♪ 965 00:46:09,458 --> 00:46:11,791 ♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ 966 00:46:11,875 --> 00:46:14,750 - ♪ Ol é, ol é, ol é, olé ♪ - ♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ 967 00:46:14,833 --> 00:46:16,500 ♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪ 968 00:46:16,583 --> 00:46:19,708 - ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ - ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 969 00:46:19,791 --> 00:46:23,375 - ♪ Arriba con la conga ♪ - ♪ Arriba con la conga. ♪ 970 00:46:40,791 --> 00:46:42,750 - What do we have here? - Yeah, Desi! 971 00:46:42,833 --> 00:46:43,958 A lot of choices. 972 00:46:44,041 --> 00:46:46,791 There's only one choice for me, and she's got a powerful right hook. 973 00:46:46,875 --> 00:46:50,291 My friend and I saw the midnight show and the 2:00 a.m. 974 00:46:51,666 --> 00:46:53,250 Thank you. 975 00:46:53,333 --> 00:46:55,125 Aw. 976 00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:20,083 I did the calculation. 977 00:47:20,166 --> 00:47:21,541 In the course of one week, 978 00:47:21,625 --> 00:47:24,583 I see you 1/20th as much as your second trombone player. 979 00:47:25,666 --> 00:47:28,750 Well, learn to play the trombone, and I'll give you his job. 980 00:47:28,833 --> 00:47:31,041 Well, how hard is the trombone? 981 00:47:33,041 --> 00:47:36,500 Ay, maybe it'd be better if we didn't spend the little time we have 982 00:47:36,583 --> 00:47:39,666 arguing about why we don't have more time. 983 00:47:39,750 --> 00:47:43,000 Don't make me feel like a bitch because I want to see my husband. 984 00:47:43,083 --> 00:47:45,416 Hey. 985 00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:49,625 I-I could stay home and be kept by my wife. 986 00:47:50,625 --> 00:47:53,666 I mean, that'd really complete the picture Americans have of Cuban men. 987 00:47:53,750 --> 00:47:55,916 What home are you talking about? 988 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,875 Or you could quit the film business and just be my wife. 989 00:47:59,958 --> 00:48:01,875 But you ain't gonna do that, right? 990 00:48:01,958 --> 00:48:03,333 No. 991 00:48:03,416 --> 00:48:05,536 How about you come to the club more to watch the show? 992 00:48:08,166 --> 00:48:09,875 I had a picture open five days ago. 993 00:48:09,958 --> 00:48:12,125 You really want me to come down to the club? 994 00:48:12,208 --> 00:48:13,708 Why not? 995 00:48:15,208 --> 00:48:17,000 Okay. 996 00:48:19,708 --> 00:48:22,375 ♪ They call me Cuban Pete ♪ 997 00:48:22,458 --> 00:48:24,916 ♪ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♪ 998 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,416 ♪ When I play the maracas, I go ♪ 999 00:48:26,500 --> 00:48:29,500 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 1000 00:48:29,583 --> 00:48:31,458 ♪ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♪ 1001 00:48:31,541 --> 00:48:33,750 ♪ I'm the craze of my native street ♪ 1002 00:48:33,833 --> 00:48:35,666 ♪ When I start to dance, everything goes ♪ 1003 00:48:35,750 --> 00:48:38,166 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 1004 00:48:38,250 --> 00:48:41,041 ♪ The señoritas, they sing ♪ 1005 00:48:41,125 --> 00:48:43,666 ♪ And how they swing with this rumbero ♪ 1006 00:48:43,750 --> 00:48:45,666 ♪ It's very nice ♪ 1007 00:48:45,750 --> 00:48:47,041 ♪ So full of spice ♪ 1008 00:48:48,208 --> 00:48:50,041 ♪ And when they're dancing ♪ 1009 00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:52,541 ♪ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♪ 1010 00:48:52,625 --> 00:48:54,375 ♪ Singing a song ♪ 1011 00:48:54,458 --> 00:48:56,625 ♪ All the day long. ♪ 1012 00:48:56,708 --> 00:48:59,291 Ah! What do we have here? 1013 00:48:59,375 --> 00:49:01,083 Lucy! 1014 00:49:06,291 --> 00:49:07,934 This way, Miss Ball! Hollywood Citizen! 1015 00:49:07,958 --> 00:49:09,625 We love you in the movie! 1016 00:49:09,708 --> 00:49:11,708 - Thank you. - Wasn't the show fun? 1017 00:49:16,500 --> 00:49:18,666 Come on in. 1018 00:49:20,333 --> 00:49:21,333 Good morning. 1019 00:49:21,416 --> 00:49:23,083 Hey, Maddie. 1020 00:49:23,166 --> 00:49:24,916 Some week, huh? 1021 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,041 Lucille Ball's a threat to the American way of life? 1022 00:49:27,125 --> 00:49:29,625 She's a threat to writers, camera operators and Desi, 1023 00:49:29,708 --> 00:49:30,791 but it really stops there. 1024 00:49:30,875 --> 00:49:32,708 Have you ever had a week like this? 1025 00:49:32,791 --> 00:49:35,083 No, but we work in Hollywood, and something tells me 1026 00:49:35,166 --> 00:49:37,642 we're all gonna have weeks like this before that committee's done. 1027 00:49:39,375 --> 00:49:41,125 - Look what you can still do. - Still? 1028 00:49:41,208 --> 00:49:43,750 I regretted it even before I said it. 1029 00:49:43,833 --> 00:49:46,000 I can't do that, and I'm just impressed. 1030 00:49:46,083 --> 00:49:47,250 What's in your hands? 1031 00:49:47,333 --> 00:49:49,125 I got you some breakfast from the commissary. 1032 00:49:49,208 --> 00:49:50,808 They told me you didn't have any, but... 1033 00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:53,458 I did. I had a cup of coffee and half a grapefruit. 1034 00:49:53,541 --> 00:49:56,250 Well, I have French toast, bacon, eggs and potatoes. 1035 00:49:56,333 --> 00:49:58,291 - Enjoy it. - It's for you. 1036 00:49:58,375 --> 00:50:00,708 That was very sweet, but, no, thank you. 1037 00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:04,458 Is it just me or have you lost a little weight? 1038 00:50:04,541 --> 00:50:06,208 I have. 1039 00:50:06,291 --> 00:50:08,333 Well, you look great. 1040 00:50:08,416 --> 00:50:09,916 Thank you. 1041 00:50:14,541 --> 00:50:16,833 - I'll see you onstage. - Mm-hmm. 1042 00:50:16,916 --> 00:50:19,541 - Madelyn. - Yeah? 1043 00:50:19,625 --> 00:50:22,083 Who told you that I didn't have any breakfast? 1044 00:50:24,666 --> 00:50:26,666 I don't know. 1045 00:50:26,750 --> 00:50:28,958 I think... 1046 00:50:29,041 --> 00:50:30,916 It was Tino. 1047 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,250 The tall waiter. 1048 00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:33,791 Okay. 1049 00:50:34,875 --> 00:50:36,083 Yeah. 1050 00:50:38,875 --> 00:50:41,041 Jesus Christ. 1051 00:50:41,125 --> 00:50:43,625 Day three and still no pickup on the Winchell story. 1052 00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:45,601 - Fellas, I think we're out of this. - Might be. 1053 00:50:45,625 --> 00:50:47,500 - Might be. - Howard? 1054 00:50:47,583 --> 00:50:50,059 There's another shoe, and none of us are getting out of this alive. 1055 00:50:50,083 --> 00:50:51,250 Howard. 1056 00:50:51,333 --> 00:50:52,875 They're uncovering something new, 1057 00:50:52,958 --> 00:50:56,166 they're chasing the original testimony, something, 1058 00:50:56,250 --> 00:50:57,458 but there's another shoe. 1059 00:50:57,541 --> 00:50:59,559 There's nothing more to uncover. There are no more shoes. 1060 00:50:59,583 --> 00:51:01,875 - Lucy's pregnant. - Well, that. 1061 00:51:06,208 --> 00:51:07,250 What? 1062 00:51:07,333 --> 00:51:08,333 Lucy's pregnant. 1063 00:51:08,416 --> 00:51:09,750 With a baby? 1064 00:51:09,833 --> 00:51:11,583 Mm-hmm. 1065 00:51:11,666 --> 00:51:12,791 How... 1066 00:51:12,875 --> 00:51:15,208 I'm... not sure what words to use. 1067 00:51:15,291 --> 00:51:18,250 How much pregnant are you? 1068 00:51:18,333 --> 00:51:20,625 Why did you think you didn't know what words to use? 1069 00:51:20,708 --> 00:51:22,916 He means how far, as a percentage of nine months... 1070 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,833 where are you on-on the timeline of-of the... 1071 00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:26,684 Someone should point a goddamn camera at this. 1072 00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:27,875 She's 12 weeks pregnant. 1073 00:51:27,958 --> 00:51:28,958 So that means, uh... 1074 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:30,916 12 weeks ago, I fucked my husband. 1075 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,017 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - No, no, no. - 1076 00:51:34,166 --> 00:51:36,000 She'll start showing in about 1077 00:51:36,083 --> 00:51:40,500 six weeks, and a month after that, there won't be any hiding it. 1078 00:51:40,583 --> 00:51:42,000 This isn't a problem. 1079 00:51:42,083 --> 00:51:43,559 - It's not. - This has happened before. 1080 00:51:43,583 --> 00:51:46,666 I won't say names, but it's been dealt with. 1081 00:51:46,750 --> 00:51:49,250 Is he talking about having me killed? 1082 00:51:49,333 --> 00:51:51,166 No, you carry a basket of laundry, 1083 00:51:51,250 --> 00:51:53,958 stand behind chairs, you sit with a pillow on your lap. 1084 00:51:54,041 --> 00:51:55,684 Those are great ideas, especially having Lucy 1085 00:51:55,708 --> 00:51:57,226 carry a basket of laundry in every scene. 1086 00:51:57,250 --> 00:51:58,500 Or stand behind chairs. 1087 00:51:58,583 --> 00:52:01,833 Where in the Ricardo's living room are the giant chairs you're talking about? 1088 00:52:01,916 --> 00:52:04,041 Lucy and Ricky redecorate, huh? 1089 00:52:04,125 --> 00:52:05,684 The writers can get some fun out of this. 1090 00:52:05,708 --> 00:52:07,958 Maybe they get some large ficus trees. 1091 00:52:08,041 --> 00:52:09,351 They'd have to be California redwoods, 1092 00:52:09,375 --> 00:52:11,892 and I'd have to stand behind them anytime I wasn't doing the wash. 1093 00:52:11,916 --> 00:52:13,125 Well, what do you propose? 1094 00:52:13,208 --> 00:52:14,625 That the Ricardos have a baby. 1095 00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,666 What do you mean? 1096 00:52:18,750 --> 00:52:20,458 I told you it was gonna be like this. 1097 00:52:20,541 --> 00:52:24,000 Lucy Ricardo will be pregnant on the show. 1098 00:52:24,083 --> 00:52:29,166 An eight-episode arc starting with Lucy telling Ricky the happy news 1099 00:52:29,250 --> 00:52:32,083 - and ending with the birth of the baby. - No. 1100 00:52:32,166 --> 00:52:33,833 No, no, no. 1101 00:52:33,916 --> 00:52:35,476 You can't have a pregnant woman on television. 1102 00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:36,625 Why not? 1103 00:52:36,708 --> 00:52:37,708 Because it's television. 1104 00:52:37,791 --> 00:52:39,375 We come into people's homes. 1105 00:52:39,458 --> 00:52:41,583 Pregnant women often vomit. 1106 00:52:41,666 --> 00:52:43,458 I know I could any second. 1107 00:52:43,541 --> 00:52:45,541 - May I say something? - Frankly, I can't wait. 1108 00:52:45,625 --> 00:52:48,625 If Lucy Ricardo's pregnant, the audience's mind immediately goes 1109 00:52:48,708 --> 00:52:50,000 to how did she get that way. 1110 00:52:50,083 --> 00:52:51,392 Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds. 1111 00:52:51,416 --> 00:52:53,333 We'll be pushing the beds together, too. 1112 00:52:53,416 --> 00:52:54,934 - Oh. - Oh, no. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1113 00:52:54,958 --> 00:52:57,476 I'm sorry, Des, we're gonna have to put our foot down on this one. 1114 00:52:57,500 --> 00:52:59,541 You can't do it. End of discussion. 1115 00:53:05,916 --> 00:53:09,458 Miss Rosen, will you come in please, with a pad and pen? 1116 00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:15,100 My secretary. 1117 00:53:16,333 --> 00:53:17,875 What are you doing? 1118 00:53:17,958 --> 00:53:19,767 To Mr. Alfred Lyons, Chairman of the Board of Philip Morris. 1119 00:53:19,791 --> 00:53:21,267 We don't want to bring Mr. Lyons into this. 1120 00:53:21,291 --> 00:53:23,791 "Mr. Lyons, I guess it all comes down to you. 1121 00:53:23,875 --> 00:53:26,458 "You are the man who's paying the money for this show, 1122 00:53:26,541 --> 00:53:28,208 and I'll do whatever you decide." 1123 00:53:28,291 --> 00:53:30,500 Mr. Lyons doesn't get involved at this level. 1124 00:53:30,583 --> 00:53:33,375 "There's only one thing I want to make certain that you understand." 1125 00:53:33,458 --> 00:53:35,166 - Desi... - "We've given you 1126 00:53:35,250 --> 00:53:37,166 "the number one show on television, 1127 00:53:37,250 --> 00:53:41,500 "and up until now, the creative decisions have been in our hands. 1128 00:53:41,583 --> 00:53:45,208 They are now telling us that Lucy and Ricky can't have a baby on the show." 1129 00:53:45,291 --> 00:53:46,476 That's not exactly what we said. 1130 00:53:46,500 --> 00:53:48,958 "All I ask from you, if you agree with them, 1131 00:53:49,041 --> 00:53:52,541 "is that you inform them that we will not accept them telling us what not to do 1132 00:53:52,625 --> 00:53:58,083 "unless, beginning with our next episode, they also tell us what to do. 1133 00:53:58,166 --> 00:54:00,708 Sincerely," et cetera, et cetera. Thank you. 1134 00:54:00,791 --> 00:54:03,166 - And send it by telegram please. - Yes, sir. 1135 00:54:05,708 --> 00:54:08,125 And that wasn't even why I married him. 1136 00:54:11,791 --> 00:54:12,791 That was. 1137 00:54:15,375 --> 00:54:17,375 Quiet please! Rehearsal's up! 1138 00:54:17,458 --> 00:54:20,166 Lucy, let me out of here! 1139 00:54:20,250 --> 00:54:21,708 Untie this coat! 1140 00:54:21,791 --> 00:54:23,625 Not until you kiss and make up. 1141 00:54:23,708 --> 00:54:26,416 I'll never make up with him after the things he said. 1142 00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:28,583 What about the things you said to me? 1143 00:54:28,666 --> 00:54:30,708 She said my mother looks like a weasel. 1144 00:54:30,791 --> 00:54:33,041 - Apologize, Ethel. - No. 1145 00:54:33,125 --> 00:54:36,458 Oh, come on, Ethel. Tell him you're sorry. 1146 00:54:36,541 --> 00:54:37,625 Well... 1147 00:54:37,708 --> 00:54:39,750 I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel. 1148 00:54:39,833 --> 00:54:41,750 Now, Ethel. 1149 00:54:41,833 --> 00:54:43,184 Well, he should have more consideration. 1150 00:54:43,208 --> 00:54:45,291 After all, I gave him the best years of my life. 1151 00:54:45,375 --> 00:54:47,875 Were those the best? 1152 00:54:47,958 --> 00:54:49,750 All right, all right, now you're even. 1153 00:54:49,833 --> 00:54:51,750 Now, what are your terms for making up, Ethel? 1154 00:54:51,833 --> 00:54:53,291 Well, he should... 1155 00:54:53,375 --> 00:54:56,041 We should go back to the dinner table. 1156 00:54:57,125 --> 00:54:59,750 - What was that? - We should go back to the dinner table. 1157 00:54:59,833 --> 00:55:02,958 I think, given the time, we should move on. 1158 00:55:03,041 --> 00:55:04,041 It was good. 1159 00:55:04,125 --> 00:55:05,833 Yeah, except, no, it wasn't. 1160 00:55:05,916 --> 00:55:06,958 - What? - Good. 1161 00:55:07,041 --> 00:55:08,666 - Wasn't good. - Uh... 1162 00:55:08,750 --> 00:55:09,750 Ah, let's go back. 1163 00:55:09,833 --> 00:55:11,125 What's happening? 1164 00:55:11,208 --> 00:55:12,517 She wants to go back. 1165 00:55:12,541 --> 00:55:13,642 - To what? - The dinner scene. 1166 00:55:13,666 --> 00:55:15,208 What? 1167 00:55:15,291 --> 00:55:17,916 The dinner scene, you drunken yontz! 1168 00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,809 Have we hired anyone to play Ethel yet? 1169 00:55:19,833 --> 00:55:21,083 All right, let's go. 1170 00:55:21,166 --> 00:55:22,351 Go forward or go back to the dinner scene? 1171 00:55:22,375 --> 00:55:23,375 Back. 1172 00:55:25,083 --> 00:55:27,625 Page 15. This is still scene "A." 1173 00:55:27,708 --> 00:55:29,309 From, "You're right, he's not going to do me out of dinner." 1174 00:55:29,333 --> 00:55:31,601 - Cameras reset. Props reset. - Someone's gonna need to tell us 1175 00:55:31,625 --> 00:55:33,392 what was wrong with the scene in the first place. 1176 00:55:33,416 --> 00:55:34,726 - You were in it. - Bill. 1177 00:55:34,750 --> 00:55:36,559 Something fundamental was wrong. I'll figure out what. 1178 00:55:36,583 --> 00:55:37,666 I can figure out what. 1179 00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:39,476 Let's all do our individual jobs. 1180 00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,267 I hit him in the face until he's bleeding... 1181 00:55:41,291 --> 00:55:43,517 - does our insurance cover that? - Yeah, I got the platinum plan. 1182 00:55:43,541 --> 00:55:44,791 Good job. 1183 00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:46,375 - Ready, ready. - Quiet please! 1184 00:55:46,458 --> 00:55:47,750 Rehearsal's up! 1185 00:55:47,833 --> 00:55:50,184 From, "You're right, he's not going to do me out of dinner." 1186 00:55:50,208 --> 00:55:51,250 Settle. 1187 00:55:51,333 --> 00:55:53,541 And action. 1188 00:55:53,625 --> 00:55:54,875 Uh, you're right. 1189 00:55:54,958 --> 00:55:57,041 He's not gonna do me out of dinner. 1190 00:55:57,125 --> 00:55:58,333 Good. 1191 00:55:58,416 --> 00:56:01,250 Oh. Now, sit down, everyone. 1192 00:56:03,250 --> 00:56:06,208 We don't have any more chairs. 1193 00:56:06,291 --> 00:56:08,916 You two don't mind sharing, do you? 1194 00:56:11,541 --> 00:56:13,375 The roast beef should be precut. 1195 00:56:13,458 --> 00:56:15,184 - It will be, dear. - How's that, Ethel? 1196 00:56:15,208 --> 00:56:17,226 - Not too much fat, is there? - There certainly is. 1197 00:56:17,250 --> 00:56:18,250 He means the meat. 1198 00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:19,791 Oh, no, the meat is fine. 1199 00:56:19,875 --> 00:56:22,416 Now do your thing. 1200 00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:24,375 Come on. 1201 00:56:24,458 --> 00:56:25,625 - Mm. - Perfect. 1202 00:56:25,708 --> 00:56:27,041 - Yeah? - Moving on. 1203 00:56:27,125 --> 00:56:29,125 - Moving... - Staying put. - Why? 1204 00:56:29,208 --> 00:56:30,809 We need to work out the moves at the table. 1205 00:56:30,833 --> 00:56:32,208 Bill and I can work out the moves. 1206 00:56:32,291 --> 00:56:33,934 It's not that I'm not confident that you can't work out... 1207 00:56:33,958 --> 00:56:35,458 This is camera blocking. 1208 00:56:35,541 --> 00:56:38,017 We can work out the stage business during tomorrow's run-through. 1209 00:56:38,041 --> 00:56:40,416 I would strongly prefer that we do it now. 1210 00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:42,958 I have to exercise my directorial authority. 1211 00:56:43,041 --> 00:56:44,809 - You have to do what? - Let's take a break. 1212 00:56:44,833 --> 00:56:46,851 - It's not time for a break. - Good, then, that's ten minutes. 1213 00:56:46,875 --> 00:56:48,875 Ten minutes, we come back to scene "A"! 1214 00:56:48,958 --> 00:56:51,250 - No, we don't. - Maybe we don't. It's hard to say. 1215 00:56:57,166 --> 00:56:58,625 Tell me what's happening, honey. 1216 00:56:59,791 --> 00:57:01,309 - You know what occurs to me? - Mm-hmm? 1217 00:57:01,333 --> 00:57:02,916 At the top, it should be clear 1218 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,309 that I'm setting a nice table, right? 1219 00:57:04,333 --> 00:57:06,708 There should be flowers in a vase. 1220 00:57:08,833 --> 00:57:10,708 And I'm trying to get them just right. 1221 00:57:10,791 --> 00:57:13,208 And I cut one of the stems, but now it's too short. 1222 00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:15,767 Then I cut the others, but now they're too short and... 1223 00:57:15,791 --> 00:57:17,833 - I get it. - What do you think? 1224 00:57:17,916 --> 00:57:19,684 I think you're having a little bit of a breakdown. 1225 00:57:19,708 --> 00:57:21,125 I meant about the flowers. 1226 00:57:21,208 --> 00:57:23,875 Tell me what's happening now. 1227 00:57:23,958 --> 00:57:25,916 Why is this so hard to understand? 1228 00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:27,500 The dinner table isn't working, 1229 00:57:27,583 --> 00:57:28,958 - and we need it to. - Mm-hmm. 1230 00:57:29,041 --> 00:57:32,500 Right there are the building blocks of drama. 1231 00:57:59,750 --> 00:58:01,166 Viv. 1232 00:58:02,625 --> 00:58:03,958 It's not you. 1233 00:58:04,041 --> 00:58:05,625 Or Bill. 1234 00:58:05,708 --> 00:58:08,541 The dinner scene. It's Donald Glass. 1235 00:58:08,625 --> 00:58:10,708 Well... 1236 00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:11,833 it'll be funny. 1237 00:58:11,916 --> 00:58:13,666 I'm sure of that. 1238 00:58:13,750 --> 00:58:16,125 Can't get better till it gets bad. 1239 00:58:16,208 --> 00:58:18,708 - Cross step one off the list. - Yeah. 1240 00:58:18,791 --> 00:58:19,875 Okay. 1241 00:58:21,416 --> 00:58:22,958 You hanging in there? 1242 00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:24,791 Look, we've made 37 episodes. 1243 00:58:24,875 --> 00:58:28,125 You do 37 of anything, one of them's gonna be your 37th best. 1244 00:58:28,208 --> 00:58:30,166 Ours was directed by Donald Glass. 1245 00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:32,083 Honey, the committee. 1246 00:58:32,166 --> 00:58:34,476 They're not gonna base their findings based on how this week's sh... 1247 00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:35,666 Fuck the committee. 1248 00:58:35,750 --> 00:58:37,875 I said that. I'm talking about the show. 1249 00:58:37,958 --> 00:58:40,958 And unless you count his wardrobe, Donald Glass doesn't understand 1250 00:58:41,041 --> 00:58:44,166 the moving parts of physical comedy. 1251 00:58:45,458 --> 00:58:46,458 That's all. 1252 00:58:46,541 --> 00:58:49,458 My point is you're not the problem. 1253 00:58:49,541 --> 00:58:50,833 Mm-hmm. 1254 00:58:52,375 --> 00:58:53,666 Luce. 1255 00:58:53,750 --> 00:58:55,166 Yeah? 1256 00:58:58,166 --> 00:59:01,916 Uh, Madelyn brought me breakfast this morning. 1257 00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:05,291 French toast, bacon and potatoes. 1258 00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:08,875 She said that someone noticed I hadn't had breakfast. 1259 00:59:08,958 --> 00:59:10,601 She said it looked like I had lost some weight. 1260 00:59:10,625 --> 00:59:12,041 She's right. You look great. 1261 00:59:12,125 --> 00:59:15,041 Madelyn's a staff writer. She doesn't bring people their breakfast. 1262 00:59:16,833 --> 00:59:18,375 I'm not sure what you're asking. 1263 00:59:18,458 --> 00:59:19,583 It sounds like she was... 1264 00:59:19,666 --> 00:59:22,083 How would she know I hadn't had breakfast? 1265 00:59:24,500 --> 00:59:25,625 I really don't know. 1266 00:59:26,708 --> 00:59:28,708 - It was you, right? - Yeah. 1267 00:59:28,791 --> 00:59:31,416 Got to give me credit. When I lie, I give it up pretty quick. 1268 00:59:31,500 --> 00:59:34,000 - It's admirable. - Thanks. 1269 00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:38,750 You told her to bring me breakfast and remark on my weight loss. 1270 00:59:39,833 --> 00:59:40,916 Let me explain why. 1271 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,166 Why? 1272 00:59:42,250 --> 00:59:44,309 Because I think you should get off this loony diet you're on. 1273 00:59:44,333 --> 00:59:45,416 It's working. 1274 00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:46,916 It's not good for you. 1275 00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,125 I feel great. 1276 00:59:48,208 --> 00:59:49,875 It's not good for Ethel. 1277 00:59:49,958 --> 00:59:51,750 Ah, it's not. 1278 00:59:51,833 --> 00:59:54,250 We're best friends, Viv. I don't want to fight. 1279 00:59:54,333 --> 00:59:56,101 - I just sent some breakfast over because... - You didn't just send it over. 1280 00:59:56,125 --> 00:59:58,375 You sent it over with Madelyn and a message 1281 00:59:58,458 --> 01:00:01,958 and now a new message, which is that I look too good. 1282 01:00:02,041 --> 01:00:05,000 Because we want you at the weight you were when we cast you. 1283 01:00:05,083 --> 01:00:06,403 Otherwise it'll be bad for Ethel? 1284 01:00:06,458 --> 01:00:07,708 - Yes. - Or bad for you? 1285 01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:12,791 All right. 1286 01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:14,934 No one's gonna stop loving Lucy when you're pregnant. 1287 01:00:14,958 --> 01:00:16,291 You're not a pinup girl. 1288 01:00:18,125 --> 01:00:19,416 Thanks for that, Viv. 1289 01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:22,041 I'm saying take it easy, that's all. 1290 01:00:22,125 --> 01:00:25,708 Everyone here stands shoulder to shoulder with you and no one feels funny 1291 01:00:25,791 --> 01:00:28,208 'cause we're scared to death, and you're not helping 1292 01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:30,708 by jumping up and down on everyone who works here 1293 01:00:30,791 --> 01:00:32,500 and doing it in front of the whole crew! 1294 01:00:32,583 --> 01:00:35,791 Goddamn it, Viv, most American women look like you, not me. 1295 01:00:35,875 --> 01:00:38,041 They want to see themselves on television. 1296 01:00:48,125 --> 01:00:50,458 What the hell are the two of you screaming about? 1297 01:00:50,541 --> 01:00:52,333 - Nothing. - Nothing! 1298 01:00:52,416 --> 01:00:54,583 I'm in my room taking my midmorning nap. 1299 01:00:54,666 --> 01:00:57,291 Don't you usually do that while we're rehearsing? 1300 01:00:58,291 --> 01:01:01,416 I'd love to hear more of that Moss Hart wit on the show. 1301 01:01:08,708 --> 01:01:10,791 Don't worry about it. 1302 01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:13,583 The weight always comes back. I can't keep it off anymore. 1303 01:01:15,458 --> 01:01:17,333 This conversation went poorly. 1304 01:01:17,416 --> 01:01:19,333 I thought it was great. 1305 01:01:19,416 --> 01:01:23,916 I definitely feel like performing for tens of millions of people now. 1306 01:01:26,208 --> 01:01:28,083 All right. 1307 01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:29,875 So... 1308 01:01:29,958 --> 01:01:31,375 Okay. 1309 01:01:36,541 --> 01:01:38,958 - Lucille. - Yeah? 1310 01:01:40,416 --> 01:01:42,125 Come with me for a drink. 1311 01:01:42,208 --> 01:01:43,625 It's 10:00 a.m. 1312 01:01:43,708 --> 01:01:45,500 I'm sure it's 10:15 somewhere. 1313 01:01:45,583 --> 01:01:47,250 We have to be back onstage. 1314 01:01:47,333 --> 01:01:49,101 - I wonder if they'll wait for you. - Bill, I'm not... 1315 01:01:49,125 --> 01:01:50,291 Kid. 1316 01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:52,666 Tell the stage Mrs. Arnaz is taking some personal time 1317 01:01:52,750 --> 01:01:54,150 and she'll be back when she's back. 1318 01:01:54,208 --> 01:01:56,375 - Probably 15 minutes. - Yes, ma'am. 1319 01:01:56,458 --> 01:01:59,101 And you should remind props that I need garden shears in the opening scene. 1320 01:01:59,125 --> 01:02:00,541 - Copy. - Let's go. 1321 01:02:00,625 --> 01:02:02,892 We have to establish right away that I'm setting a fancy table. 1322 01:02:02,916 --> 01:02:04,767 - You don't have to explain it to him. - We'll have flowers in a vase. 1323 01:02:04,791 --> 01:02:06,291 I'll cut one of the flowers. 1324 01:02:06,375 --> 01:02:08,291 - He doesn't care. - It'll be too short. 1325 01:02:08,375 --> 01:02:10,392 I'll cut the other flowers, they'll be too short, and so on. 1326 01:02:10,416 --> 01:02:11,875 - Got it. - So I need garden shears. 1327 01:02:11,958 --> 01:02:12,958 Copy. 1328 01:02:13,041 --> 01:02:15,309 Regular scissors aren't strong enough to cut through the stems. 1329 01:02:15,333 --> 01:02:17,208 He's thinking a lot about killing you now. 1330 01:02:17,291 --> 01:02:18,291 - Fine. - Go. 1331 01:02:18,375 --> 01:02:20,000 Yep. 1332 01:02:21,791 --> 01:02:23,291 It's raining. 1333 01:02:23,375 --> 01:02:24,642 Your hair gonna be all right? 1334 01:02:24,666 --> 01:02:26,041 I'm fine. 1335 01:02:26,125 --> 01:02:30,250 Ever since I started doing this show, rain bounces off my hair. 1336 01:02:30,333 --> 01:02:32,166 - That's helpful. - Mm. 1337 01:02:32,250 --> 01:02:34,958 Honestly had no idea this place was here. 1338 01:02:35,041 --> 01:02:37,625 They like to keep a low profile. 1339 01:02:37,708 --> 01:02:39,791 Can't imagine why. 1340 01:02:39,875 --> 01:02:43,166 Kind of people go to a bar on a Wednesday morning? 1341 01:02:43,250 --> 01:02:45,500 It's an eclectic group. 1342 01:02:45,583 --> 01:02:48,208 What are you having? 1343 01:02:48,291 --> 01:02:50,083 I'll take a tetanus shot. 1344 01:02:50,166 --> 01:02:52,083 - Jim Beam, two times. - Sure, Bill. 1345 01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:54,208 I thought you and Desi had a deal. 1346 01:02:54,291 --> 01:02:56,791 You don't drink at work. 1347 01:02:56,875 --> 01:02:59,416 Desi and I have a deal that I won't be drunk at work. 1348 01:02:59,500 --> 01:03:01,625 Have you ever seen me drunk at work? 1349 01:03:01,708 --> 01:03:03,708 - Would I know? - No. 1350 01:03:03,791 --> 01:03:04,958 Here's to your new baby. 1351 01:03:05,041 --> 01:03:06,458 All right, then. 1352 01:03:07,750 --> 01:03:09,916 Are they being polite or do they not recognize us? 1353 01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:11,583 They don't own television sets. 1354 01:03:13,083 --> 01:03:14,416 Why didn't I think of that? 1355 01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:16,833 Honey, I read seven newspapers every day. 1356 01:03:16,916 --> 01:03:18,833 Seven? When do you have time to do that? 1357 01:03:18,916 --> 01:03:21,666 It's 30 minutes between races at Santa Anita, 1358 01:03:21,750 --> 01:03:23,767 and it takes me a minute and a half to pick a horse. 1359 01:03:23,791 --> 01:03:25,333 - Aren't you at work? - Yeah. 1360 01:03:25,416 --> 01:03:28,291 We have bookies now and telephones. 1361 01:03:28,375 --> 01:03:31,083 Know all about that. Did a Damon Runyon picture. 1362 01:03:31,166 --> 01:03:33,000 In none of those seven newspapers 1363 01:03:33,083 --> 01:03:36,958 have I read anything about Lucille Ball being a Communist. 1364 01:03:38,416 --> 01:03:40,791 I don't hear anyone talking about it. 1365 01:03:40,875 --> 01:03:42,458 Since when do you talk to anyone? 1366 01:03:42,541 --> 01:03:45,017 The less you talk, the more things you hear, 1367 01:03:45,041 --> 01:03:46,875 and I haven't heard anything. 1368 01:03:46,958 --> 01:03:48,916 So... 1369 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,208 problems at home? 1370 01:03:51,750 --> 01:03:53,416 Problems at home? 1371 01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:55,541 - Yeah. - No. 1372 01:03:55,625 --> 01:04:00,291 I'd like very much to have problems at home, but my problem's not home that much. 1373 01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:01,458 Few times a week. 1374 01:04:01,541 --> 01:04:02,767 He was playing cards on the boat Wednesday night. 1375 01:04:02,791 --> 01:04:04,125 I know. 1376 01:04:04,208 --> 01:04:05,458 The picture's six months old. 1377 01:04:05,541 --> 01:04:07,958 I was there when it was taken. 1378 01:04:08,041 --> 01:04:10,541 I'm saying, why wasn't he home, where I and our daughter were? 1379 01:04:10,625 --> 01:04:14,875 Your husband is in love with America like no man I have ever known 1380 01:04:14,958 --> 01:04:19,583 since George M. Cohan, who loved America so much he wrote the same song five times. 1381 01:04:19,666 --> 01:04:20,708 Okay? 1382 01:04:20,791 --> 01:04:24,208 Desi loves America as much as that guy. 1383 01:04:24,291 --> 01:04:26,500 But that doesn't mean he's not Cuban. 1384 01:04:26,583 --> 01:04:28,208 - I know that. - The world he's from 1385 01:04:28,291 --> 01:04:30,916 has a very narrow definition of manhood. 1386 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,291 - I know that, too. - The man is the man. 1387 01:04:33,375 --> 01:04:34,416 Mm-hmm. 1388 01:04:34,500 --> 01:04:36,333 And not for nothing, but the women are happy. 1389 01:04:36,416 --> 01:04:38,208 You've asked them? 1390 01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:40,000 They look happy. 1391 01:04:41,083 --> 01:04:42,500 I see. 1392 01:04:44,083 --> 01:04:46,184 - But that's neither here nor there. - It really isn't. 1393 01:04:46,208 --> 01:04:49,333 He's mesmerized by you, Lucille. 1394 01:04:49,416 --> 01:04:52,500 And he misses you when you're in two different places. 1395 01:04:52,583 --> 01:04:54,708 He does. I'm a witness. 1396 01:04:54,791 --> 01:04:56,333 - He doesn't have to. - He... 1397 01:04:56,416 --> 01:04:57,666 We live in the same house. 1398 01:04:57,750 --> 01:04:59,625 He does have to. 1399 01:04:59,708 --> 01:05:00,958 That's what I'm saying. 1400 01:05:02,791 --> 01:05:07,083 He has to spend time away from you so that he can feel like he's not the... 1401 01:05:07,166 --> 01:05:08,458 Second banana. 1402 01:05:08,541 --> 01:05:11,166 I navigate male egos for a living, bud. 1403 01:05:11,250 --> 01:05:13,333 Then why are you running the set? 1404 01:05:13,416 --> 01:05:15,958 Why are you running rehearsals? 1405 01:05:16,041 --> 01:05:17,666 You're doing it right in front of him. 1406 01:05:17,750 --> 01:05:20,517 I can't prioritize the director's feelings over the health of the show. 1407 01:05:20,541 --> 01:05:23,541 No, no, not... I couldn't care less about Donald's feelings if I tried hard. 1408 01:05:23,583 --> 01:05:24,666 He's a hack. 1409 01:05:24,750 --> 01:05:28,916 But we'll overcome that because, frankly, we're not doing Uncle Vanya. 1410 01:05:30,291 --> 01:05:31,500 Got it. 1411 01:05:31,583 --> 01:05:33,309 But the business at the dinner table has to be precise. 1412 01:05:33,333 --> 01:05:35,083 Really? 1413 01:05:35,166 --> 01:05:36,708 I was only in vaudeville 40 years, 1414 01:05:36,791 --> 01:05:39,375 so I wouldn't know about these things of which you speak. 1415 01:05:39,458 --> 01:05:40,500 I know you know. 1416 01:05:40,583 --> 01:05:41,750 I'm just saying... 1417 01:05:41,833 --> 01:05:44,625 You did it in front of Desi is my point. 1418 01:05:45,833 --> 01:05:47,500 Let me tell you something about Desi. 1419 01:05:47,583 --> 01:05:49,416 He runs this show. 1420 01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:53,000 Every creative decision goes through him. 1421 01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:56,083 Every business decision... the network, Philip Morris. 1422 01:05:56,166 --> 01:05:58,916 And if that wasn't enough, he is camera-ready on Monday. 1423 01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:02,541 Takes me five days to get a laugh. 1424 01:06:02,625 --> 01:06:04,458 He's killing it at the table read. 1425 01:06:06,541 --> 01:06:09,708 And that man, believe me, is nobody's second banana. 1426 01:06:11,083 --> 01:06:12,666 How many people know that? 1427 01:06:12,750 --> 01:06:14,041 Know what? 1428 01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:16,458 That Desi runs the show. 1429 01:06:16,541 --> 01:06:18,541 How many people know that? 1430 01:06:23,250 --> 01:06:24,875 There was a minute there 1431 01:06:24,958 --> 01:06:28,125 when Lucy was gonna be a serious actress. 1432 01:06:28,208 --> 01:06:29,708 In serious movies. 1433 01:06:29,791 --> 01:06:33,583 She was gonna compete for roles with Crawford, Hayworth. 1434 01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:37,375 Might've been Lucy in All About Eve. 1435 01:06:37,458 --> 01:06:41,041 And you know what? She'd have blown the doors off the place. 1436 01:06:42,291 --> 01:06:44,875 It was almost like that. 1437 01:06:44,958 --> 01:06:46,250 For a minute there. 1438 01:06:55,666 --> 01:06:57,250 Desi! 1439 01:07:01,708 --> 01:07:02,708 Desi! 1440 01:07:04,208 --> 01:07:05,208 Lucy? 1441 01:07:05,291 --> 01:07:06,416 What happened? 1442 01:07:08,750 --> 01:07:10,250 Flat tire! 1443 01:07:10,333 --> 01:07:11,958 Quarter of a mile back. 1444 01:07:12,041 --> 01:07:14,125 And you abandoned the car there? 1445 01:07:14,208 --> 01:07:16,666 - I sprinted the last 500 yards. - What's going on? 1446 01:07:16,750 --> 01:07:19,166 Also you ran with a bottle of champagne in your hand? 1447 01:07:19,250 --> 01:07:21,625 Bringing it... 1448 01:07:22,875 --> 01:07:23,958 ...more festive. 1449 01:07:24,041 --> 01:07:25,041 I got it. 1450 01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:26,583 I got the part. 1451 01:07:26,666 --> 01:07:28,666 - Which part? - I got the part, Des. 1452 01:07:28,750 --> 01:07:30,125 The Big Street. 1453 01:07:30,208 --> 01:07:32,291 You said it was going to Rita Hayworth. 1454 01:07:32,375 --> 01:07:33,791 Scheduling problems. 1455 01:07:33,875 --> 01:07:35,458 Then they went to Judy Holliday. 1456 01:07:35,541 --> 01:07:37,375 Scheduling problems. 1457 01:07:37,458 --> 01:07:41,708 I got the female lead in The Big Street. 1458 01:07:41,791 --> 01:07:43,958 That's tremendous. 1459 01:07:44,958 --> 01:07:46,041 That's tremendous. 1460 01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:49,000 I'm opposite Henry Fonda. 1461 01:07:49,083 --> 01:07:51,875 But when does it start photography? 1462 01:07:51,958 --> 01:07:52,958 Two weeks. 1463 01:07:54,750 --> 01:07:56,916 I still can't catch my breath. 1464 01:07:58,208 --> 01:08:00,208 - It's Damon Runyon. - I know! 1465 01:08:00,291 --> 01:08:03,041 I know. I read the script, and I'm very, I'm very happy, Lucy, 1466 01:08:03,125 --> 01:08:05,458 but I was looking forward to you coming out on tour. 1467 01:08:07,250 --> 01:08:09,375 Rita Hayworth had scheduling problems. 1468 01:08:09,458 --> 01:08:11,791 Mm, so did you. 1469 01:08:11,875 --> 01:08:15,125 You don't think I want to be in the same city at the same time as my husband? 1470 01:08:15,208 --> 01:08:16,708 - I know. I know. - What do I... 1471 01:08:16,791 --> 01:08:18,958 Every decision I make is based on being near you. 1472 01:08:19,041 --> 01:08:20,916 Every single decision. 1473 01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:24,458 Well, yes, but obviously not every single decision. 1474 01:08:24,541 --> 01:08:26,958 No? Hmm? 1475 01:08:27,041 --> 01:08:29,521 You know how many years I've spent sticking my head into frame, 1476 01:08:29,583 --> 01:08:31,416 saying something bitchy and going away? 1477 01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:34,916 Crappy little roles in pictures I wouldn't pay a nickel to see 1478 01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:37,916 if the theater had the only available air-conditioning. 1479 01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,416 - Uh-huh. - If The Big Street is a hit, 1480 01:08:40,500 --> 01:08:45,250 I'll be getting the roles that go to Rita and Judy and Bette. 1481 01:08:45,333 --> 01:08:46,333 Which Judy? 1482 01:08:46,416 --> 01:08:47,500 - Holliday. - Ah. 1483 01:08:47,583 --> 01:08:49,351 Who's the baseball player that you talk about? 1484 01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:52,500 The one who sat down and let Lou Gehrig start that streak. 1485 01:08:52,583 --> 01:08:54,000 Oh, Wally Pipp. 1486 01:08:54,083 --> 01:08:55,875 Gehrig was his understudy. 1487 01:08:55,958 --> 01:08:58,416 - Backup. - And the guy took a rest one day. 1488 01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:00,916 Gehrig came in, didn't come out for 40 years. 1489 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,416 14 years, and it was Wally Pipp. 1490 01:09:02,500 --> 01:09:05,166 Okay, well, imagine if Wally Pipp had scheduling problems, 1491 01:09:05,250 --> 01:09:09,833 Lou Gehrig, instead of grabbing his glove, toured with his husband's Latin orchestra. 1492 01:09:09,916 --> 01:09:11,517 It would've changed the course of baseball. 1493 01:09:11,541 --> 01:09:13,666 And the course of Latin music. 1494 01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:15,541 Rita Hayworth is Wally Pipp. 1495 01:09:15,625 --> 01:09:16,791 I'm Lou Gehrig. 1496 01:09:16,875 --> 01:09:18,500 The Big Street is the Yankees. 1497 01:09:18,583 --> 01:09:20,958 I understood the metaphor so long ago. 1498 01:09:22,500 --> 01:09:25,083 You don't have to tour. You could stay in town. 1499 01:09:26,500 --> 01:09:29,333 - And do what? - Sell out Ciro's every night. 1500 01:09:31,291 --> 01:09:34,125 We're not a house band. 1501 01:09:34,208 --> 01:09:36,416 I'd like to sell out New York. 1502 01:09:36,500 --> 01:09:39,291 I'd like to sell out Chicago and Miami, too. 1503 01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:41,208 - I know. - Hmm. 1504 01:09:41,291 --> 01:09:42,958 Eight weeks. 1505 01:09:43,041 --> 01:09:45,416 I'll come wherever you are on the weekends. 1506 01:09:46,625 --> 01:09:48,767 So it'll be important that you not fall in love with someone else 1507 01:09:48,791 --> 01:09:50,208 Mondays through Fridays. 1508 01:09:50,291 --> 01:09:52,208 Agreed. 1509 01:09:52,291 --> 01:09:54,017 Should we open the champagne, take our clothes off 1510 01:09:54,041 --> 01:09:55,458 and go skinny-dipping in the pool? 1511 01:09:55,541 --> 01:09:57,750 That bottle of champagne is basically a grenade now, 1512 01:09:57,833 --> 01:09:59,583 but all your other ideas were good. 1513 01:09:59,666 --> 01:10:02,875 Lucy, Lucy, Jesus. 1514 01:10:02,958 --> 01:10:04,208 Wow. 1515 01:10:04,291 --> 01:10:05,666 You're gonna be a movie star. 1516 01:10:07,500 --> 01:10:09,708 You comfortable with that? 1517 01:10:10,958 --> 01:10:13,458 Am I comfortable with that? 1518 01:10:23,500 --> 01:10:25,541 That bottle has comic timing. 1519 01:10:36,375 --> 01:10:38,750 I've been at the studio for almost ten years. 1520 01:10:38,833 --> 01:10:40,513 I've never been in the president's office. 1521 01:10:40,583 --> 01:10:43,708 Mr. Koerner isn't the president. He's the head of production. 1522 01:10:44,791 --> 01:10:46,875 Second in command. 1523 01:10:46,958 --> 01:10:48,583 Still higher than I've ever gotten. 1524 01:10:51,208 --> 01:10:53,041 - Yes, sir. - Send her in. 1525 01:10:53,125 --> 01:10:54,291 You can go on in. 1526 01:10:59,666 --> 01:11:01,375 Lucille. 1527 01:11:01,458 --> 01:11:03,625 - Charles Koerner. - Lucille Ball. 1528 01:11:03,708 --> 01:11:05,416 You like Lucille or Lucy? 1529 01:11:05,500 --> 01:11:07,125 Lucy's fine. I mean either's fine. 1530 01:11:07,208 --> 01:11:08,750 - Lucy. - All right. 1531 01:11:08,833 --> 01:11:10,708 And do I call you Charlie? 1532 01:11:10,791 --> 01:11:12,791 Anyone as brilliant as you were in The Big Street 1533 01:11:12,875 --> 01:11:14,583 can call me Betsy and I wouldn't care. 1534 01:11:14,666 --> 01:11:16,250 Thank you. 1535 01:11:16,333 --> 01:11:18,333 Please, sit. Sit here. 1536 01:11:21,625 --> 01:11:23,208 Thank you. 1537 01:11:24,416 --> 01:11:27,375 That was a whole new side of you we've never seen. 1538 01:11:27,458 --> 01:11:28,625 Where's that been? 1539 01:11:28,708 --> 01:11:30,875 It's been buried under bad movies. 1540 01:11:30,958 --> 01:11:33,583 I've heard you make some form of that joke before. 1541 01:11:33,666 --> 01:11:37,000 Keep putting me in pictures like The Big Street, you won't hear it again. 1542 01:11:39,291 --> 01:11:41,375 We're dropping your contract, Lucy. 1543 01:11:43,583 --> 01:11:45,583 - No, it-it's not a joke. - That was... 1544 01:11:47,500 --> 01:11:50,000 RKO is dropping your contract. 1545 01:11:52,291 --> 01:11:53,875 I don't understand. 1546 01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:57,000 We don't have anything for you. 1547 01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:01,458 But that... 1548 01:12:06,083 --> 01:12:07,666 This is happening fast. 1549 01:12:07,750 --> 01:12:08,916 The Big Street was a hit. 1550 01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:10,583 It was a critical hit. 1551 01:12:10,666 --> 01:12:12,684 I get that there wasn't a stampede to the box office, 1552 01:12:12,708 --> 01:12:14,059 but you didn't lose money, did you? 1553 01:12:14,083 --> 01:12:16,250 - No. - Do you understand the conditions 1554 01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:18,583 under which this picture was finished? 1555 01:12:18,666 --> 01:12:19,851 No, it has nothing to do with conditions... 1556 01:12:19,875 --> 01:12:22,625 Damon Runyon left town before principal photography, 1557 01:12:22,708 --> 01:12:25,791 our director joined the Army during postproduction, 1558 01:12:25,875 --> 01:12:28,833 and our editor died. 1559 01:12:28,916 --> 01:12:31,083 He just flat-out died. 1560 01:12:31,166 --> 01:12:33,458 - There were a number of obstacles. - That's accurate. 1561 01:12:33,541 --> 01:12:35,726 - Did you read the reviews? - They were very impressive. 1562 01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:37,041 They were more than impressive. 1563 01:12:37,125 --> 01:12:40,000 This has nothing to do with your performance in The Big Street. 1564 01:12:40,083 --> 01:12:43,125 But it should have everything to do with my performance in The Big Street. 1565 01:12:43,208 --> 01:12:47,666 I... I showed what I can do, and that's just the beginning of what I can do. 1566 01:12:47,750 --> 01:12:49,458 That is just the beginning of it. 1567 01:12:52,916 --> 01:12:54,666 Are you sure this isn't a joke? 1568 01:12:54,750 --> 01:12:56,375 It's a tough business. 1569 01:12:56,458 --> 01:12:57,500 I know that! 1570 01:12:57,583 --> 01:12:59,666 I've been in it since I was 14! 1571 01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:01,375 But you're 35 now. 1572 01:13:03,416 --> 01:13:05,458 - And that is the problem? - No. 1573 01:13:05,541 --> 01:13:08,625 The problem is you're really 39, aren't you? 1574 01:13:10,041 --> 01:13:11,333 Hmm. 1575 01:13:11,416 --> 01:13:15,000 39-year-olds don't go to see your movies? 1576 01:13:16,083 --> 01:13:18,375 They don't want to see stories about themselves? 1577 01:13:18,458 --> 01:13:22,500 You came through for us when Judy Holliday and Rita Hayworth were on other pictures, 1578 01:13:22,583 --> 01:13:24,875 and we didn't want to lose Fonda. 1579 01:13:24,958 --> 01:13:28,333 Now, this studio has a handshake understanding with Metro and Warner, 1580 01:13:28,416 --> 01:13:31,083 and they'll loan us Holliday or Hayworth, 1581 01:13:31,166 --> 01:13:35,500 so we just don't have enough for you to warrant keeping you under contract. 1582 01:13:35,583 --> 01:13:38,541 Judy Holliday does one thing very well, but it's just one thing. 1583 01:13:38,625 --> 01:13:40,333 I know how you're feeling right now. 1584 01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:43,708 I've had to have this conversation a hundred times. 1585 01:13:43,791 --> 01:13:46,416 I'm surprised because you're terrible at it. 1586 01:13:47,875 --> 01:13:49,291 Can I make a suggestion? 1587 01:13:50,875 --> 01:13:52,166 Radio. 1588 01:13:53,791 --> 01:13:55,375 The hell did you just say to me? 1589 01:13:55,458 --> 01:13:57,333 You've got the voice for it. 1590 01:13:57,416 --> 01:13:59,833 Look, I've noticed there's a lot you can do with your voice. 1591 01:13:59,916 --> 01:14:02,208 You should think about radio, Lucy. 1592 01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:07,833 And you should go fuck yourself, Betsy. 1593 01:14:27,916 --> 01:14:29,416 Lucy? 1594 01:14:30,708 --> 01:14:32,416 What are you doing? 1595 01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:34,625 I'm reading scripts. 1596 01:14:36,166 --> 01:14:39,375 Oh, it's 3:00 in the morning. 1597 01:14:39,458 --> 01:14:41,708 I know. 1598 01:14:41,791 --> 01:14:43,583 I'm drunk, too. 1599 01:14:44,583 --> 01:14:46,250 I know why you like drinking. 1600 01:14:46,333 --> 01:14:49,083 I didn't get it till about two hours ago. 1601 01:14:50,875 --> 01:14:52,875 You read any good movies? 1602 01:14:52,958 --> 01:14:55,291 These are radio pilots. 1603 01:14:55,375 --> 01:14:57,250 Oh, yeah? 1604 01:14:57,333 --> 01:14:58,375 Yeah. 1605 01:14:58,458 --> 01:15:01,625 There's nothing wrong with radio. 1606 01:15:01,708 --> 01:15:02,958 I do it all the time. 1607 01:15:03,041 --> 01:15:04,875 You're a bandleader. 1608 01:15:17,083 --> 01:15:19,375 You know, Bataan was a hit, too. 1609 01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:21,625 I didn't hear you. 1610 01:15:21,708 --> 01:15:23,750 Bataan was a hit. 1611 01:15:23,833 --> 01:15:26,208 I was good. 1612 01:15:26,291 --> 01:15:29,041 The reviews were valentines, and I didn't bang a drum. 1613 01:15:30,125 --> 01:15:32,309 It would have led to better parts, except I had to go to... 1614 01:15:32,333 --> 01:15:34,166 what do you call it?... 1615 01:15:34,250 --> 01:15:37,041 fight World War II. 1616 01:15:39,416 --> 01:15:42,541 And now those crappy little parts in pictures you wouldn't pay a nickel to see 1617 01:15:42,625 --> 01:15:45,708 - if it was the only available air-conditioning in the... - Des. 1618 01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:47,791 I can't get them. 1619 01:16:13,416 --> 01:16:15,583 Gee, honey, are you sure those bandages are fake? 1620 01:16:15,666 --> 01:16:18,000 - Oh, yeah. - Are you sure you're all right? 1621 01:16:18,083 --> 01:16:20,541 - Yeah, honey, I'm fine. - Oh, yeah... oh, let me help you. 1622 01:16:20,625 --> 01:16:21,625 Oh. 1623 01:16:21,708 --> 01:16:24,708 It's a good thing the Mertzes had their awning up. 1624 01:16:24,791 --> 01:16:26,208 Oh, honey. 1625 01:16:26,291 --> 01:16:28,583 It was all my fault. 1626 01:16:28,666 --> 01:16:30,958 No, it was my fault, honey. 1627 01:16:31,041 --> 01:16:32,250 Weren't we silly? 1628 01:16:32,333 --> 01:16:34,000 Yes. We will never argue again. 1629 01:16:34,083 --> 01:16:36,083 Ah, baby. 1630 01:16:37,375 --> 01:16:40,458 - Lucy, are you okay?! - Yeah, I'm fine. 1631 01:16:40,541 --> 01:16:41,958 - You sure? - I'm sure. 1632 01:16:42,041 --> 01:16:43,559 Thank goodness you're all right. 1633 01:16:43,583 --> 01:16:44,833 Why? What's the matter? 1634 01:16:44,916 --> 01:16:47,125 When I told Ethel the whole gag was my idea, 1635 01:16:47,208 --> 01:16:48,875 she got mad and went home to her mother. 1636 01:16:48,958 --> 01:16:50,541 - Oh...! - Oh, no. 1637 01:16:50,625 --> 01:16:52,250 And we cut. Good. 1638 01:16:52,333 --> 01:16:53,601 Is that lunch? 1639 01:16:53,625 --> 01:16:54,958 That's one hour for lunch! 1640 01:16:55,041 --> 01:16:57,250 We'll do notes onstage after and go again. 1641 01:16:57,333 --> 01:16:59,208 Uh, one quick thing. 1642 01:16:59,291 --> 01:17:00,625 The table scene is getting good. 1643 01:17:00,708 --> 01:17:01,708 Yeah, it's not. 1644 01:17:01,791 --> 01:17:03,541 I wanted to circle back again and express 1645 01:17:03,625 --> 01:17:06,458 my serious concern about Ricky's entrance at the top. 1646 01:17:06,541 --> 01:17:09,267 I brought it up at the table read Monday. There haven't been new pages. 1647 01:17:09,291 --> 01:17:11,083 - Because it's gonna work. - Hear me out. 1648 01:17:11,166 --> 01:17:12,666 - Okay. - Right now, 1649 01:17:12,750 --> 01:17:14,430 Lucy is trimming the flowers on the table. 1650 01:17:14,500 --> 01:17:16,416 Ricky opens the door and comes in. 1651 01:17:16,500 --> 01:17:18,166 We're gonna have to cut the flowers. 1652 01:17:18,250 --> 01:17:21,000 I don't mean "cut the flowers." I mean cut the flowers. 1653 01:17:21,083 --> 01:17:23,833 I couldn't understand the difference between those two line readings. 1654 01:17:23,916 --> 01:17:26,276 We're running long. We have to cut the bit with the flowers. 1655 01:17:26,333 --> 01:17:27,458 How long? 1656 01:17:27,541 --> 01:17:28,791 About a minute. 1657 01:17:28,875 --> 01:17:31,125 All right, well, we'll get back to the flowers. 1658 01:17:31,208 --> 01:17:33,541 The front door opens, Ricky comes in. 1659 01:17:33,625 --> 01:17:35,392 Lucy doesn't see or hear him, which is unusual 1660 01:17:35,416 --> 01:17:37,208 because the front door is, you know, 1661 01:17:37,291 --> 01:17:38,583 - right there. - Mm-hmm. 1662 01:17:38,666 --> 01:17:40,346 And in previous episodes, we've established 1663 01:17:40,375 --> 01:17:42,255 Lucy's eyes and ears are connected to her brain. 1664 01:17:42,333 --> 01:17:44,083 We-we buy the conceit. 1665 01:17:44,166 --> 01:17:46,500 - I'm sorry? - We buy it. 1666 01:17:46,583 --> 01:17:49,500 Lucy is so focused on making the table nice 1667 01:17:49,583 --> 01:17:51,708 she doesn't even notice Ricky coming in the door. 1668 01:17:51,791 --> 01:17:53,500 - Okay, I'll run with that. - Yeah. 1669 01:17:53,583 --> 01:17:55,208 Ricky walks up to her quietly. 1670 01:17:55,291 --> 01:17:57,791 He puts his hands over her eyes and says... 1671 01:17:57,875 --> 01:17:59,500 "Guess who it is." 1672 01:17:59,583 --> 01:18:03,125 - And then Lucy says, "Bill? Sam? Pat? Ralph?" - Yeah. 1673 01:18:03,208 --> 01:18:04,726 - She's teasing him. - Yes, she's teasing him. 1674 01:18:04,750 --> 01:18:06,208 That's clear. Ricky responds... 1675 01:18:06,291 --> 01:18:07,583 - "No." - "No." 1676 01:18:07,666 --> 01:18:10,875 And the stage direction for Ricky says "burning." 1677 01:18:10,958 --> 01:18:11,958 "No!" 1678 01:18:12,041 --> 01:18:13,333 He's upset. 1679 01:18:13,416 --> 01:18:14,833 Lucy continues the teasing. 1680 01:18:14,916 --> 01:18:16,750 "George? Julius? Stephen? Ivan?" 1681 01:18:16,833 --> 01:18:18,333 - Yeah. - We changed that to 1682 01:18:18,416 --> 01:18:19,708 "Pedro? Julio? Juan? Guillermo?" 1683 01:18:19,791 --> 01:18:21,309 "Because those are Spanish names. 1684 01:18:21,333 --> 01:18:23,708 "I mean Mexican. Cuban. Latin. 1685 01:18:23,791 --> 01:18:25,208 "They're Brazilian names. 1686 01:18:25,291 --> 01:18:26,875 Turkish." 1687 01:18:26,958 --> 01:18:28,351 - You done? - Yeah. - We're moving into a meal penalty. 1688 01:18:28,375 --> 01:18:29,500 Yeah, okay. 1689 01:18:29,583 --> 01:18:30,958 Lucy guesses some names. 1690 01:18:31,041 --> 01:18:32,166 Yeah, teasingly. 1691 01:18:32,250 --> 01:18:36,958 And the script indicates that Ricky takes his hands away from Lucy's eyes, 1692 01:18:37,041 --> 01:18:38,541 turns her around and says... 1693 01:18:38,625 --> 01:18:42,041 - "No, it's me." - So my question again, Jess: 1694 01:18:42,125 --> 01:18:46,416 Does Ricky honestly, truly believe that there might be eight different men 1695 01:18:46,500 --> 01:18:51,750 who routinely walk into their apartment, all of whom sound exactly like Desi Arnaz? 1696 01:18:52,833 --> 01:18:54,666 You think we're saying Ricky's stupid? 1697 01:18:54,750 --> 01:18:56,625 I think you're saying the audience is. 1698 01:18:56,708 --> 01:18:59,416 And that's something for which they won't soon forgive you. 1699 01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:01,291 You charge for these lessons? 1700 01:19:01,375 --> 01:19:02,416 A ton. 1701 01:19:02,500 --> 01:19:05,875 For the sake of the joke, the audience will take the leap with us. 1702 01:19:05,958 --> 01:19:08,833 They will, but you'll need a busload of orthopedists when they land. 1703 01:19:08,916 --> 01:19:09,916 Jess. 1704 01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:11,708 Let's talk about this after lunch, huh? 1705 01:19:11,791 --> 01:19:13,666 - I have an idea. - I got a crew here, 1706 01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:15,184 and we're about to run into a penalty, so... 1707 01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:18,333 - Lucy is working on the flowers. - We're cutting the flowers for time. 1708 01:19:18,416 --> 01:19:19,892 I don't mean literally cutting the flowers in the scene... 1709 01:19:19,916 --> 01:19:21,583 I cannot go through that again. 1710 01:19:21,666 --> 01:19:23,208 Ricky opens the door, comes in, 1711 01:19:23,291 --> 01:19:26,416 shuts the door, as we've seen him do in 37 episodes. 1712 01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:28,250 Lucy doesn't acknowledge him. 1713 01:19:28,333 --> 01:19:30,101 - Uh, so far, you're describing the script. - Right. 1714 01:19:30,125 --> 01:19:32,434 But instead of playing the hands-over-the-eyes guessing game, 1715 01:19:32,458 --> 01:19:34,333 Ricky just stands there. 1716 01:19:34,416 --> 01:19:37,833 He can't understand why Lucy doesn't notice he's home any more than we can. 1717 01:19:37,916 --> 01:19:41,208 He stands there for a full beat, and then another, 1718 01:19:41,291 --> 01:19:45,083 and then merrily, in a slightly exaggerated manner, 1719 01:19:45,166 --> 01:19:48,208 as we've heard him do a hundred times, he says... 1720 01:19:48,291 --> 01:19:50,250 "Lucy, I'm home!" 1721 01:19:51,708 --> 01:19:53,708 For Ricky is funny. 1722 01:19:53,791 --> 01:19:55,500 Hey, Luce? 1723 01:19:55,583 --> 01:19:57,875 Let's talk about it after lunch. 1724 01:19:59,541 --> 01:20:01,416 - Jim. - That's lunch! 1725 01:20:01,500 --> 01:20:02,583 One hour! 1726 01:20:02,666 --> 01:20:04,666 Back onstage for notes! 1727 01:20:04,750 --> 01:20:06,590 All right, lunch! 1728 01:20:10,458 --> 01:20:11,666 Hang on! 1729 01:20:11,750 --> 01:20:13,458 Desi, does that work for you? 1730 01:20:13,541 --> 01:20:15,166 Works perfect. 1731 01:20:16,250 --> 01:20:18,250 We'll talk about it after lunch. 1732 01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:22,041 It needed to be fixed. 1733 01:20:32,333 --> 01:20:33,892 I think we can get more out of "hypocrite." 1734 01:20:33,916 --> 01:20:35,583 - Yeah. - Yeah? Like what? 1735 01:20:35,666 --> 01:20:38,333 Like Lucy turns to Desi and says, 1736 01:20:38,416 --> 01:20:40,708 "Well, it's nice to know I'm married to a hypocrite." 1737 01:20:40,791 --> 01:20:42,666 And Desi gets his back up and says... 1738 01:20:42,750 --> 01:20:44,041 "Hypocrite?" 1739 01:20:44,125 --> 01:20:46,375 Then turns to Fred and says, "What's a hypocrite?" 1740 01:20:46,458 --> 01:20:48,750 Fred tells him, "It's a person who says one thing 1741 01:20:48,833 --> 01:20:50,208 - but does another." - Mm-hmm. 1742 01:20:50,291 --> 01:20:52,541 Desi says, "Thank you," turns back to Lucy and says... 1743 01:20:52,625 --> 01:20:54,767 - "Oh, yeah?" - Yeah, that's good. That's good. 1744 01:20:54,791 --> 01:20:56,511 Yeah, that's exactly what I was gonna pitch. 1745 01:20:56,583 --> 01:20:58,541 - But I pitched it faster. - By interrupting me. 1746 01:20:58,625 --> 01:21:00,226 How do you think I got to be a woman in a comedy room? 1747 01:21:01,333 --> 01:21:02,833 Hey, is now a good time? 1748 01:21:02,916 --> 01:21:04,142 Yeah. Madelyn had a good idea. 1749 01:21:04,166 --> 01:21:07,833 Desi's entrance, we shoot it both ways and see which one gets the bigger laugh. 1750 01:21:07,916 --> 01:21:09,208 That was my idea. 1751 01:21:09,291 --> 01:21:10,833 It's a bad idea. 1752 01:21:10,916 --> 01:21:12,250 Mm. It's just not your day. 1753 01:21:12,333 --> 01:21:14,333 - Can I have a minute in your office? - Yeah. 1754 01:21:14,375 --> 01:21:15,625 Sure. 1755 01:21:15,708 --> 01:21:17,458 All right. 1756 01:21:19,041 --> 01:21:21,416 What's wrong with shooting it both ways? 1757 01:21:21,500 --> 01:21:23,875 You'll be on the floor during the show, right? 1758 01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:25,458 I'll be where I always am. 1759 01:21:25,541 --> 01:21:27,291 In full view of the audience? 1760 01:21:27,375 --> 01:21:28,875 I suppose. 1761 01:21:28,958 --> 01:21:30,375 Since we're doing it both ways, 1762 01:21:30,458 --> 01:21:33,458 how about we do it once with your pants on and once with your pants off? 1763 01:21:33,541 --> 01:21:35,458 - That's not the same. - It is. 1764 01:21:35,541 --> 01:21:39,166 And I don't want to do the version with my pants off in front of 200 people. 1765 01:21:39,250 --> 01:21:42,125 But that's not what I need to talk to you about. 1766 01:21:42,208 --> 01:21:44,267 You're not gonna tell me you're pregnant again, are you? 1767 01:21:44,291 --> 01:21:47,333 No. I'm still pregnant from before, but no. 1768 01:21:47,416 --> 01:21:50,125 Jess, you know how much I value you. 1769 01:21:50,208 --> 01:21:52,333 - I think I do. - You know you do. 1770 01:21:52,416 --> 01:21:53,500 Okay. 1771 01:21:53,583 --> 01:21:55,708 And you also know what it is Desi does around here. 1772 01:21:55,791 --> 01:21:57,458 Sure. 1773 01:21:57,541 --> 01:22:00,125 - I mean, every business decision goes through Desi. - Mm-hmm. 1774 01:22:00,208 --> 01:22:03,208 In fact, most business decisions are made by Desi. 1775 01:22:03,291 --> 01:22:06,083 - You married a very bright man. - I did. 1776 01:22:06,166 --> 01:22:08,458 He makes a lot of creative decisions, too. 1777 01:22:08,541 --> 01:22:10,500 Mm. I'm not sure I'd say a lot. 1778 01:22:10,583 --> 01:22:11,791 I would. I'd say a lot. 1779 01:22:11,875 --> 01:22:13,625 He devised the camera system that we use. 1780 01:22:13,708 --> 01:22:16,625 He's the reason the East Coast doesn't see the show on a foggy kinescope. 1781 01:22:16,708 --> 01:22:18,583 - Yeah. - And even though we use three cameras, 1782 01:22:18,666 --> 01:22:20,916 the studio audience can see every scene. 1783 01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:22,916 - That's him, too. - Mm-hmm. 1784 01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:24,559 And the four of us, the cast, we can see the audience. 1785 01:22:24,583 --> 01:22:25,767 I give him a lot of credit for that. 1786 01:22:25,791 --> 01:22:29,166 He's the one who thought up Lucy being pregnant on the show. 1787 01:22:30,250 --> 01:22:32,791 That is never gonna happen, 'cause no matter what CBS says, 1788 01:22:32,875 --> 01:22:34,184 Philip Morris is never gonna let it happen. 1789 01:22:34,208 --> 01:22:36,125 But, like I said, I give him credit. 1790 01:22:36,208 --> 01:22:38,708 That's the thing, though. You don't. 1791 01:22:38,791 --> 01:22:39,958 What do you mean? 1792 01:22:40,041 --> 01:22:42,291 He doesn't get credit as an executive producer, 1793 01:22:42,375 --> 01:22:44,750 which, let's face it, is what he is. 1794 01:22:44,833 --> 01:22:47,125 You get sole credit. 1795 01:22:47,208 --> 01:22:49,708 I didn't win my credit in a raffle! I earn it. 1796 01:22:49,791 --> 01:22:52,625 I'm the showrunner! Not to mention being the creator of the show. 1797 01:22:52,708 --> 01:22:54,833 I don't see how we could do the show without you. 1798 01:22:54,916 --> 01:22:56,083 You absolutely could not. 1799 01:22:56,166 --> 01:22:59,000 I don't see how we could do the show without Desi either. 1800 01:22:59,083 --> 01:23:02,083 Because he plays Ricky, which he does get a screen credit for. 1801 01:23:02,166 --> 01:23:03,684 - Jess... - Is this something our agents should be talking about? 1802 01:23:03,708 --> 01:23:06,101 - No. - 'Cause I'm not at all comfortable with this conversation. 1803 01:23:06,125 --> 01:23:08,375 I'm about to make you less comfortable. 1804 01:23:09,416 --> 01:23:11,666 I need you to help me save my marriage. 1805 01:23:14,250 --> 01:23:17,083 I need you to help me save my marriage. 1806 01:23:25,083 --> 01:23:27,541 What do you think they're talking about in there? 1807 01:23:27,625 --> 01:23:30,375 I think they're talking about you. 1808 01:23:30,458 --> 01:23:33,291 I think they want to pay you less because you're not as funny as I am. 1809 01:23:33,375 --> 01:23:35,791 Mary Pat, would you mind asking Desi if I can come see him? 1810 01:23:35,875 --> 01:23:37,291 Sure. 1811 01:23:39,166 --> 01:23:40,500 Madelyn? 1812 01:23:40,583 --> 01:23:41,583 Yeah. 1813 01:23:48,291 --> 01:23:50,833 - Was everything all right in there? - Yeah. 1814 01:23:50,916 --> 01:23:52,000 - So, listen. - Mm-hmm. 1815 01:23:52,083 --> 01:23:55,043 It has to be coherent, because if it's anything goes, then nothing's funny. 1816 01:23:55,125 --> 01:23:57,833 - Anything Goes was a hit. - Not Cole Porter's Anything Goes. 1817 01:23:57,916 --> 01:23:59,750 - I mean if an... - I know. 1818 01:23:59,833 --> 01:24:01,750 - Why are you telling me? - The opening, 1819 01:24:01,833 --> 01:24:04,625 Ricky's entrance with his hands over my eyes, that was Jess, right? 1820 01:24:06,583 --> 01:24:11,041 Outside of that room, we make it a point not to talk about who wrote what. 1821 01:24:11,125 --> 01:24:12,708 It wasn't Jess? 1822 01:24:12,791 --> 01:24:13,833 Again... 1823 01:24:13,916 --> 01:24:15,309 You know I'm right about the logic. 1824 01:24:15,333 --> 01:24:19,166 Why aren't you backing me up instead of endorsing a plan to shoot it both ways? 1825 01:24:19,250 --> 01:24:22,291 Listen, why don't we get together for a drink or a swim this weekend, 1826 01:24:22,375 --> 01:24:23,916 and we can put it on the agenda? 1827 01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:27,416 Because the show is tomorrow and I'm fine talking about it now. 1828 01:24:27,500 --> 01:24:30,226 By all means, let's unnecessarily add more to what you're worried about this week. 1829 01:24:30,250 --> 01:24:32,500 - I'm not worried! I'm... - Shh. 1830 01:24:32,583 --> 01:24:33,791 I'm not worried. 1831 01:24:33,875 --> 01:24:36,666 I'm saying I count on you to be the firewall, to be... 1832 01:24:36,750 --> 01:24:40,500 to-to make sure... just... logic, okay? 1833 01:24:40,583 --> 01:24:42,833 I won't say who wrote what, but I can tell you 1834 01:24:42,916 --> 01:24:45,059 that I'm the lady in there trying to make Lucy smarter. 1835 01:24:45,083 --> 01:24:46,166 Excuse me? 1836 01:24:46,250 --> 01:24:48,791 I'm the one trying, every week, to... 1837 01:24:48,875 --> 01:24:50,583 Lucy's dumb? 1838 01:24:50,666 --> 01:24:51,875 I didn't say that. 1839 01:24:51,958 --> 01:24:54,208 You're trying... 1840 01:24:54,291 --> 01:24:58,125 struggling, it sounds like... to make Lucy smarter? 1841 01:24:58,208 --> 01:25:00,541 I created this character with you. 1842 01:25:00,625 --> 01:25:02,416 And she needs to be smarter? 1843 01:25:02,500 --> 01:25:07,166 She sometimes, for the sake of comedy, is infantilized. 1844 01:25:08,458 --> 01:25:10,666 This is a crazy week, 1845 01:25:10,750 --> 01:25:12,791 time and place to be having this conversation. 1846 01:25:12,875 --> 01:25:15,125 - This is important... - How is she infantilized? 1847 01:25:15,208 --> 01:25:16,750 She literally says, "Waah." 1848 01:25:16,833 --> 01:25:18,750 'Cause when she does, 60 million people laugh, 1849 01:25:18,833 --> 01:25:22,125 just like with Lou Costello and Stan Laurel, and you get paid. 1850 01:25:22,208 --> 01:25:25,041 When those two grown men play slow-witted five-year-olds, I cringe. 1851 01:25:25,125 --> 01:25:26,875 Then I question your comedy IQ. 1852 01:25:26,958 --> 01:25:28,375 No, you don't. 1853 01:25:28,458 --> 01:25:29,809 You think I'm the funniest writer in the room, 1854 01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:32,250 and that's why you're talking to me and not Jess. 1855 01:25:35,666 --> 01:25:37,333 Many people regard Lucy as clever. 1856 01:25:37,416 --> 01:25:39,625 I mean, she always has a plan to overcome an obstacle. 1857 01:25:39,708 --> 01:25:43,375 Yeah, but oftentimes that obstacle is her husband's permission. 1858 01:25:43,458 --> 01:25:47,958 You really think, this week, right now, is the best time to talk about this? 1859 01:25:48,041 --> 01:25:51,625 No! I literally said that 30 seconds ago. 1860 01:25:52,625 --> 01:25:54,541 Look... 1861 01:25:54,625 --> 01:25:58,208 it's just a female perspective from another generation. 1862 01:25:58,291 --> 01:26:00,083 Another generation? 1863 01:26:00,166 --> 01:26:02,000 Ah, you're on a roll. 1864 01:26:02,083 --> 01:26:04,916 Bette Davis, Bacall, Hepburn. 1865 01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:06,333 - Funny women. - Judy Holliday. 1866 01:26:06,416 --> 01:26:08,041 Judy Holliday? Go to hell. 1867 01:26:08,125 --> 01:26:09,625 They are funny women. 1868 01:26:09,708 --> 01:26:12,208 And they're smart and tough and they outsmart the men. 1869 01:26:12,291 --> 01:26:13,726 So why do you and Gracie Allen feel like you have to... 1870 01:26:13,750 --> 01:26:15,250 Oh, stop. Okay. 1871 01:26:15,333 --> 01:26:16,500 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 1872 01:26:16,583 --> 01:26:18,458 Maddie, I love you. 1873 01:26:18,541 --> 01:26:19,916 You're like, I guess, 1874 01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:22,583 - a great-granddaughter to me from another generation. - Hmm. 1875 01:26:22,666 --> 01:26:25,208 And my fervent wish for you is that, one day, 1876 01:26:25,291 --> 01:26:26,851 you will be half as funny as Gracie Allen. 1877 01:26:26,875 --> 01:26:31,166 In the meantime, please remember that Lucy and Ricky and Fred and Ethel, 1878 01:26:31,250 --> 01:26:34,000 if they live past tomorrow, have to live in a reality 1879 01:26:34,083 --> 01:26:36,458 that accepts the physical laws of the universe. 1880 01:26:36,541 --> 01:26:38,208 Ricky knows that Lucy doesn't believe 1881 01:26:38,291 --> 01:26:40,791 there are possibly eight other men in the apartment! 1882 01:26:40,875 --> 01:26:42,083 Understood. 1883 01:26:43,541 --> 01:26:45,083 But I don't make that decision. 1884 01:26:46,458 --> 01:26:48,166 Let's go! 1885 01:26:53,416 --> 01:26:54,916 Mary Pat, cut the flowers. 1886 01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:56,559 And to be clear, by "cut the flowers," I mean... 1887 01:26:56,583 --> 01:26:59,000 - She knows exactly what you mean. - Yeah, let's go. 1888 01:27:00,750 --> 01:27:02,458 Judy Holliday. 1889 01:27:03,500 --> 01:27:04,833 This isn't happening. 1890 01:27:11,625 --> 01:27:14,250 Mr. Arnaz? 1891 01:27:14,333 --> 01:27:16,000 Come in. 1892 01:27:16,083 --> 01:27:18,750 Mr. Oppenheimer is here to see you with Mr. Carroll and Miss Pugh. 1893 01:27:18,833 --> 01:27:21,333 Uh, nothing from Mr. Lyons yet? 1894 01:27:21,416 --> 01:27:22,416 No. 1895 01:27:23,708 --> 01:27:25,291 Anyone at Philip Morris? 1896 01:27:25,375 --> 01:27:26,708 No. 1897 01:27:31,833 --> 01:27:33,750 Gracias. 1898 01:27:33,833 --> 01:27:36,166 Acompáñame al escenario. 1899 01:27:36,250 --> 01:27:38,083 Walk me to the stage. We're an hour behind. 1900 01:27:38,166 --> 01:27:40,101 Okay, Madelyn's got a new joke for the second act. 1901 01:27:40,125 --> 01:27:42,875 I just this minute told Lucy that we don't talk about who wrote what. 1902 01:27:42,958 --> 01:27:45,059 Madelyn came up with the joke just seconds after I did. 1903 01:27:45,083 --> 01:27:47,791 Isn't it possible that two comedy writers working on the same script 1904 01:27:47,875 --> 01:27:49,309 came up with the same joke at the same time? 1905 01:27:49,333 --> 01:27:50,453 - It's possible. - Thank you. 1906 01:27:50,500 --> 01:27:52,767 - Just not what happened. - Do I need to be here for any of this? 1907 01:27:52,791 --> 01:27:55,000 Uh, "Hypocrite? What's a hypocrite?" 1908 01:27:55,083 --> 01:27:57,791 - So that's to Fred. - Got it. Good. 1909 01:27:57,875 --> 01:27:59,392 - Is that what you wanted me for? - Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 1910 01:27:59,416 --> 01:28:02,017 The hypocrite joke is for episode nine. That's the script we're working on, okay? 1911 01:28:02,041 --> 01:28:03,958 If Lucy's gonna be pregnant... Lucy Ricardo... 1912 01:28:04,041 --> 01:28:06,434 then we have to introduce it in nine, according to your timetable. 1913 01:28:06,458 --> 01:28:09,601 - Yeah. - So I just want to confirm that there's no chance we're doing that, right? 1914 01:28:09,625 --> 01:28:11,333 We are doing that. 1915 01:28:11,416 --> 01:28:13,166 You know Philip Morris won't let us. 1916 01:28:13,250 --> 01:28:15,434 And-and even if they did, we don't want to see this girl pregnant. 1917 01:28:15,458 --> 01:28:16,642 We don't want to know that she's pregnant. 1918 01:28:16,666 --> 01:28:17,892 We don't want to know how she got pregnant. 1919 01:28:17,916 --> 01:28:20,833 Do we have viewers who don't know how women get pregnant? 1920 01:28:20,916 --> 01:28:22,416 Yeah, they're called children. 1921 01:28:22,500 --> 01:28:25,375 Uh, do any of these children have younger brothers or sisters? 1922 01:28:25,458 --> 01:28:28,219 You know what, you know what else a lot of our viewers are? Christian. 1923 01:28:28,291 --> 01:28:30,083 Ah, I'm way ahead of you. 1924 01:28:30,166 --> 01:28:35,708 I'm going to have a priest, a minister and a rabbi review every script. 1925 01:28:35,791 --> 01:28:37,976 I'm gonna get rewritten by a priest, a minister and a rabbi? 1926 01:28:38,000 --> 01:28:39,666 - Mm-hmm. - A joke in there somewhere. 1927 01:28:39,750 --> 01:28:41,976 Good, because if I'm rewritten by a priest, a minister and a rabbi, 1928 01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:43,267 there aren't gonna be many left in the script. 1929 01:28:43,291 --> 01:28:44,571 - Good one. - Uh, Des... 1930 01:28:44,625 --> 01:28:46,083 No, no, e-enough. Enough. 1931 01:28:46,166 --> 01:28:48,083 I sent a telegram to Alfred Lyons. 1932 01:28:48,166 --> 01:28:49,291 - You did. - Yes. 1933 01:28:49,375 --> 01:28:50,851 And I've put the decision in his hands. 1934 01:28:50,875 --> 01:28:52,833 - Okay. Okay. - All right. 1935 01:28:52,916 --> 01:28:54,250 Okay, good. 1936 01:28:54,333 --> 01:28:57,000 - You're that sure he's gonna say no, huh? - I am. 1937 01:28:57,083 --> 01:28:59,083 - That it? Okay. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 1938 01:28:59,166 --> 01:29:02,333 Oh, Bob, Bob, tell Desi that thing you were saying before. 1939 01:29:03,416 --> 01:29:04,500 Me? 1940 01:29:04,583 --> 01:29:06,625 Yeah. 1941 01:29:06,708 --> 01:29:08,333 - Really? - Guys. 1942 01:29:08,416 --> 01:29:09,958 No, it was interesting. 1943 01:29:10,041 --> 01:29:11,666 - Bob was saying that you... - Hmm? 1944 01:29:11,750 --> 01:29:13,791 ...are really the title character of the show. 1945 01:29:13,875 --> 01:29:17,708 Because you are the "I" in I Love Lucy. 1946 01:29:18,916 --> 01:29:20,375 Mm-hmm. 1947 01:29:20,458 --> 01:29:22,138 So strictly speaking, you have top billing. 1948 01:29:22,958 --> 01:29:25,250 I am the "I" in I Love Lucy. 1949 01:29:25,333 --> 01:29:27,291 Yeah. 1950 01:29:27,375 --> 01:29:28,875 I never thought of it that way. 1951 01:29:28,958 --> 01:29:30,916 - Yeah, you like that? - I like that. 1952 01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:32,000 Yeah. 1953 01:29:32,083 --> 01:29:33,875 Jess... 1954 01:29:33,958 --> 01:29:37,333 patronize me again, and I'll stick my hand down your throat 1955 01:29:37,416 --> 01:29:39,958 and pull your fucking lungs out. 1956 01:29:40,041 --> 01:29:41,791 - Look... - Excuse me. 1957 01:29:41,875 --> 01:29:42,875 What is it? 1958 01:29:42,958 --> 01:29:44,666 It-It's a telegram for Mr. Arnaz. 1959 01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:47,416 - It's from Mr. Lyons and Philip Morris. - Mm. 1960 01:29:48,833 --> 01:29:50,833 - Vamos a ver. - Yeah. 1961 01:29:54,875 --> 01:29:56,041 Let's go, please. 1962 01:29:56,125 --> 01:29:58,166 - We are an hour behind. - Yeah. 1963 01:30:03,833 --> 01:30:05,666 What does it say? 1964 01:30:06,750 --> 01:30:09,791 "To all Philip Morris and CBS employees: 1965 01:30:11,041 --> 01:30:13,166 Don't fuck with the Cuban." 1966 01:30:19,916 --> 01:30:22,625 "He didn't come home and he hasn't called. 1967 01:30:22,708 --> 01:30:25,916 Not that it makes any difference to me." 1968 01:30:26,000 --> 01:30:28,708 "Oh, I can see that it doesn't make any difference to you. 1969 01:30:28,791 --> 01:30:31,750 Why don't you call Ricky and tell him you're sorry?" 1970 01:30:31,833 --> 01:30:35,125 "What? You think I'd allow my pride..." Hmm. 1971 01:30:35,208 --> 01:30:38,416 "Do you think I'd swallow my pride like that?" 1972 01:30:38,500 --> 01:30:39,500 Never. 1973 01:30:41,125 --> 01:30:42,392 What are you doing up? 1974 01:30:42,416 --> 01:30:45,208 I woke up and you weren't there. 1975 01:30:45,291 --> 01:30:49,291 So I went to the nursery to see if everything was okay, and... 1976 01:30:49,375 --> 01:30:51,416 she kicked her blanket off, so I fixed it. 1977 01:30:51,500 --> 01:30:53,416 That woke her up. 1978 01:30:53,500 --> 01:30:56,125 But as you can see, I got her back to sleep. 1979 01:30:57,916 --> 01:31:00,791 You know we pay a housekeeper to do the laundry, right? 1980 01:31:01,875 --> 01:31:04,375 I like doing laundry. I never get the chance. 1981 01:31:05,458 --> 01:31:08,166 Okay, I'm going to put her back in her little apartment now. 1982 01:31:09,250 --> 01:31:10,416 You should come back to bed. 1983 01:31:10,500 --> 01:31:11,708 I will. 1984 01:31:17,791 --> 01:31:20,416 "Do you think I'd call him and go crawling back?" 1985 01:31:20,500 --> 01:31:23,083 "What? Do you think I'd swallow my pride?" 1986 01:31:23,166 --> 01:31:26,791 "Do you think I'd call and go crawling..." 1987 01:31:35,625 --> 01:31:39,666 "What? Do you think I'd swallow my pride like that?" 1988 01:33:05,333 --> 01:33:07,208 - Lucy? - Over here. 1989 01:33:07,291 --> 01:33:08,750 Thanks, Bobby. 1990 01:33:08,833 --> 01:33:10,500 You got it, Bill. 1991 01:33:10,583 --> 01:33:12,125 What the hell? 1992 01:33:12,208 --> 01:33:14,125 Thanks for coming down. 1993 01:33:15,208 --> 01:33:18,083 - It's 2:00 in the morning. - Sorry about that. 1994 01:33:20,541 --> 01:33:21,541 Kid, what's going on? 1995 01:33:21,625 --> 01:33:23,875 I'm gonna restage the dinner scene. 1996 01:33:23,958 --> 01:33:26,291 Let's go to my dressing room and call Desi. 1997 01:33:26,375 --> 01:33:29,166 No, Desi's at home with the baby. We can do this. 1998 01:33:29,250 --> 01:33:31,250 - Does he know you're here? - He's sleeping. 1999 01:33:31,333 --> 01:33:33,125 Let me take you home. 2000 01:33:34,125 --> 01:33:36,416 - Is that him? - That's Viv. 2001 01:33:36,500 --> 01:33:38,583 You called her, too? 2002 01:33:38,666 --> 01:33:41,750 I'm restaging the dinner scene. 2003 01:33:41,833 --> 01:33:43,809 This isn't for beginners, you know. This isn't school. 2004 01:33:43,833 --> 01:33:45,541 I don't hire the directors. 2005 01:33:45,625 --> 01:33:47,958 I know. I'm just saying. 2006 01:33:48,041 --> 01:33:50,875 - What's happening here? - Thanks for coming, Viv. 2007 01:33:50,958 --> 01:33:53,083 - Is everything all right? - The three of us 2008 01:33:53,166 --> 01:33:55,208 are on an empty soundstage at 2:00 in the morning, 2009 01:33:55,291 --> 01:33:57,541 she's drunk, I'm not. 2010 01:33:57,625 --> 01:33:59,458 So, yeah, everything's great. Why do you ask? 2011 01:33:59,541 --> 01:34:01,517 Your call just said to come to the stage, that it was an emergency. 2012 01:34:01,541 --> 01:34:03,392 - So I... - We need to re-block the dinner scene. 2013 01:34:03,416 --> 01:34:05,333 It's not gonna take long. 2014 01:34:05,416 --> 01:34:06,833 - What? - You heard her right. 2015 01:34:06,916 --> 01:34:10,291 It won't take long. We just need to make an adjustment. 2016 01:34:11,625 --> 01:34:15,333 Two people who are fighting have to share a seat at a dinner table. 2017 01:34:15,416 --> 01:34:21,166 First thing, we take this, move it upstage so the camera can see you. 2018 01:34:21,250 --> 01:34:24,875 Now, this can't just be a mishmash of pushing. 2019 01:34:24,958 --> 01:34:27,166 Can't just be a scrum. 2020 01:34:27,250 --> 01:34:29,000 Each move has to be articulate. 2021 01:34:29,083 --> 01:34:31,416 So Ethel elbows Fred. 2022 01:34:31,500 --> 01:34:32,500 Elbow him. 2023 01:34:34,000 --> 01:34:36,166 Fred elbows Ethel a little harder. 2024 01:34:36,250 --> 01:34:37,290 Ow! 2025 01:34:37,333 --> 01:34:39,708 Ethel elbows Fred harder. 2026 01:34:39,791 --> 01:34:41,208 - Hey! - Then Fred. 2027 01:34:42,375 --> 01:34:44,695 Now hit each other at the same time and fall off the chair. 2028 01:34:47,916 --> 01:34:48,916 That's that. 2029 01:34:48,958 --> 01:34:52,583 Let's run it a couple of times at speed. Hmm? 2030 01:34:53,583 --> 01:34:54,750 Did something happen? 2031 01:34:54,833 --> 01:34:56,916 - I'm sorry? - At home. 2032 01:34:57,000 --> 01:34:59,250 - Did something just happen? - Uh... 2033 01:34:59,333 --> 01:35:01,708 No. I was, um... 2034 01:35:03,708 --> 01:35:05,500 No. 2035 01:35:05,583 --> 01:35:07,583 I was doing some laundry and... 2036 01:35:07,666 --> 01:35:09,166 No. 2037 01:35:11,916 --> 01:35:13,916 Yeah. Yeah. 2038 01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:15,333 I wanted to fix this beat. 2039 01:35:15,416 --> 01:35:18,000 I... I couldn't sleep. 2040 01:35:23,291 --> 01:35:26,791 It's like when you're not sure if you've left the oven unlocked. 2041 01:35:26,875 --> 01:35:28,434 Door unlocked. Nothing. 2042 01:35:28,458 --> 01:35:29,498 I wanted to fix this beat. 2043 01:35:29,541 --> 01:35:31,375 Let's do it again. 2044 01:35:37,083 --> 01:35:40,208 You know I did this show so Desi and I could be together? 2045 01:35:42,125 --> 01:35:44,500 I had no idea it was gonna be a hit. 2046 01:35:47,208 --> 01:35:49,226 I just thought, "Well, the construction department's gonna 2047 01:35:49,250 --> 01:35:52,210 build us a little apartment, and that's where we'll live most of the time." 2048 01:35:52,291 --> 01:35:53,958 You know? 2049 01:35:57,541 --> 01:35:59,416 And it worked out. 2050 01:35:59,500 --> 01:36:01,250 This is where... 2051 01:36:08,250 --> 01:36:10,791 It's like a story you'd read a little girl. 2052 01:36:11,875 --> 01:36:13,875 A witch puts a curse on a woman. 2053 01:36:13,958 --> 01:36:17,125 She'll be adored by the man she loves, 2054 01:36:17,208 --> 01:36:20,541 but only as long as she stays on this... 2055 01:36:20,625 --> 01:36:22,250 patch of ground. 2056 01:36:26,041 --> 01:36:29,166 It's still a lot more than most people get. 2057 01:36:34,500 --> 01:36:35,708 Let's run it at speed. 2058 01:36:38,208 --> 01:36:39,666 I'm gonna drive you home. 2059 01:36:39,750 --> 01:36:42,250 - Let me take... - I am the biggest asset 2060 01:36:42,333 --> 01:36:45,375 in the portfolio of the Columbia Broadcasting System, 2061 01:36:45,458 --> 01:36:51,083 the biggest asset in the portfolio of Philip Morris tobacco, Westinghouse. 2062 01:36:51,166 --> 01:36:54,833 I get paid a fortune to do exactly what I love doing. 2063 01:36:54,916 --> 01:36:59,958 I work side by side with my husband, who is genuinely impressed by me. 2064 01:37:00,041 --> 01:37:04,041 And all I have to do to keep it is kill every week for 36 weeks in a row, 2065 01:37:04,125 --> 01:37:07,291 and then do it again the next year. 2066 01:37:07,375 --> 01:37:09,833 Kill. 2067 01:37:09,916 --> 01:37:12,625 So let's do it again. 2068 01:37:23,083 --> 01:37:25,333 After RKO dropped Lucy's contract, 2069 01:37:25,416 --> 01:37:28,250 MGM had her in for a Technicolor test, 2070 01:37:28,333 --> 01:37:33,958 which she didn't know yet would be one of the most important moments in her life. 2071 01:37:34,041 --> 01:37:38,833 A man named Sydney Guilaroff was Metro's chief hair stylist. 2072 01:37:38,916 --> 01:37:43,833 Looked at Lucy and said, "The hair is brown but the soul is on fire." 2073 01:37:45,333 --> 01:37:47,000 He dyed her hair a new color. 2074 01:37:47,083 --> 01:37:48,434 Quiet, please. 2075 01:37:50,500 --> 01:37:53,708 It's time for My Favorite Husband, starring Lucille Ball. 2076 01:37:54,916 --> 01:37:56,916 Jell-O, everybody! 2077 01:38:00,500 --> 01:38:02,500 Yes, it's the gay family series, 2078 01:38:02,583 --> 01:38:04,666 starring Lucille Ball with Richard Denning, 2079 01:38:04,750 --> 01:38:07,708 transcribed and brought to you by the Jell-O family of desserts. 2080 01:38:07,791 --> 01:38:10,291 ♪ J-E-L-L-Oh! ♪ 2081 01:38:10,375 --> 01:38:14,041 ♪ The big red letters stand for the Jell-O family ♪ 2082 01:38:14,125 --> 01:38:18,125 ♪ Oh, the big red letters stand for the Jell-O family ♪ 2083 01:38:18,208 --> 01:38:19,726 - ♪ That's Jell-O ♪ - ♪ Yum, yum, yum ♪ 2084 01:38:19,750 --> 01:38:21,750 - ♪ Jell-O puddings ♪ - ♪ Yum, yum, yum. ♪ 2085 01:38:23,208 --> 01:38:25,333 And now, Lucille Ball with Richard Denning 2086 01:38:25,416 --> 01:38:29,291 as Liz and George Cooper, two people who live together and like it. 2087 01:38:29,375 --> 01:38:31,017 As we look in on the Coopers, 2088 01:38:31,041 --> 01:38:33,559 it's a beautiful spring day and Liz is just going to the kitchen 2089 01:38:33,583 --> 01:38:35,267 to talk to Katy, the maid. 2090 01:38:35,291 --> 01:38:38,125 - Oh, Katy? - Yes, Mrs. Cooper? 2091 01:38:38,208 --> 01:38:40,458 Katy, I've got some good news for you. 2092 01:38:40,541 --> 01:38:42,125 - Uh-oh. - "Uh-oh"? 2093 01:38:42,208 --> 01:38:43,458 What do you mean, "Uh-oh"? 2094 01:38:43,541 --> 01:38:46,625 I say I've got some good news and you say, "Uh-oh"? 2095 01:38:48,583 --> 01:38:54,000 Every time you say you've got good news, it's usually good for you and bad for me. 2096 01:38:54,083 --> 01:38:56,916 Oh, well... 2097 01:38:57,000 --> 01:38:59,125 that's a little true. 2098 01:39:04,541 --> 01:39:05,958 Lucy? 2099 01:39:06,041 --> 01:39:07,708 Come on in. 2100 01:39:09,958 --> 01:39:11,625 That was a good show. 2101 01:39:11,708 --> 01:39:12,958 Yeah, I thought so, too. 2102 01:39:13,041 --> 01:39:15,000 Pass it on to Maddie and Bob, would you? 2103 01:39:15,083 --> 01:39:18,000 Mm-hmm. I've, uh, I got two gentlemen out here who'd like to meet you, 2104 01:39:18,083 --> 01:39:20,416 and you're gonna want to hear what they have to say. 2105 01:39:20,500 --> 01:39:22,601 Does it need to sound ominous? Can't they just come in? 2106 01:39:24,166 --> 01:39:25,625 Yeah. Please, come in. 2107 01:39:28,583 --> 01:39:30,708 - Lucille Ball. - Yes, sir. 2108 01:39:30,791 --> 01:39:33,500 David Levy, head of comedy development, CBS. 2109 01:39:33,583 --> 01:39:35,142 David Hart, head of current programming, CBS. 2110 01:39:35,166 --> 01:39:38,125 Well, David and David, 2111 01:39:38,208 --> 01:39:41,250 I've been in a current comedy at CBS and I've never heard of either of you. 2112 01:39:41,333 --> 01:39:43,166 CBS Television. 2113 01:39:43,250 --> 01:39:45,291 CBS does television? 2114 01:39:45,375 --> 01:39:48,333 - Yeah. Edward R. Murrow is one of our t... - I was kidding. 2115 01:39:48,416 --> 01:39:49,517 - Understood. - That was funny. 2116 01:39:49,541 --> 01:39:50,791 Thank you. 2117 01:39:50,875 --> 01:39:53,291 These, uh, these men have an interesting idea. 2118 01:39:53,375 --> 01:39:55,750 Lucy, we've been here to the show a few times now. 2119 01:39:55,833 --> 01:39:58,875 We noticed that when you do the show, you use gestures and expressions. 2120 01:39:58,958 --> 01:40:00,125 You mean the acting? 2121 01:40:00,208 --> 01:40:01,208 Yeah. 2122 01:40:01,291 --> 01:40:04,583 My face, my body, my voice, that's all I get to work with. 2123 01:40:04,666 --> 01:40:06,750 It's just unusual because it's radio. 2124 01:40:06,833 --> 01:40:07,833 I watched Jack Benny. 2125 01:40:07,916 --> 01:40:10,541 He plays it for the studio audience. 2126 01:40:10,625 --> 01:40:12,208 It works pretty well for him. 2127 01:40:12,291 --> 01:40:13,375 It does. 2128 01:40:13,458 --> 01:40:15,708 And it works pretty well for you, too. Very well. 2129 01:40:15,791 --> 01:40:18,750 And we think it's a shame that no one gets to see it. 2130 01:40:18,833 --> 01:40:20,833 Invent a way to see what's on the radio. 2131 01:40:20,916 --> 01:40:23,083 We did. It's television. 2132 01:40:23,166 --> 01:40:25,833 - Are you here to sell me one? - Lucy. 2133 01:40:25,916 --> 01:40:29,583 They want to put My Favorite Husband on TV. 2134 01:40:36,708 --> 01:40:38,392 I'm very interested. 2135 01:40:38,416 --> 01:40:39,875 That's great. 2136 01:40:39,958 --> 01:40:42,583 Is it too early to raise a glass? 2137 01:40:42,666 --> 01:40:44,208 To My Favorite Husband. 2138 01:40:44,291 --> 01:40:45,541 Yes. 2139 01:40:45,625 --> 01:40:47,875 Except I don't want to do My Favorite Husband. 2140 01:40:49,916 --> 01:40:52,958 - I'm confused. - Yeah, me, too. 2141 01:40:53,041 --> 01:40:54,708 Don't panic. It's simple. 2142 01:40:54,791 --> 01:40:57,708 I'm interested in the idea of doing My Favorite Husband on television. 2143 01:40:57,791 --> 01:40:59,375 I just want it to be a different show. 2144 01:41:00,750 --> 01:41:03,250 What kind of show do you want it to be? 2145 01:41:03,333 --> 01:41:05,833 One where Desi plays my husband. 2146 01:41:08,416 --> 01:41:11,291 I understand there's a casting issue. 2147 01:41:11,375 --> 01:41:13,875 - Was that to me? - Yes. 2148 01:41:13,958 --> 01:41:16,041 I wasn't sure. You're quite a ways away. 2149 01:41:16,125 --> 01:41:18,583 Our casting department has come up with a list 2150 01:41:18,666 --> 01:41:21,333 of very exciting names that we think you'll like. 2151 01:41:21,416 --> 01:41:23,833 - Pass this down to Lucy. - These are all very funny men. 2152 01:41:23,916 --> 01:41:25,351 I think we have mimeos for everyone. 2153 01:41:25,375 --> 01:41:27,666 One of the best lists I've seen in a while. 2154 01:41:27,750 --> 01:41:28,750 Number 12 died last week. 2155 01:41:28,791 --> 01:41:30,416 - That's my fault. - There's no issue. 2156 01:41:30,500 --> 01:41:32,458 What was that? 2157 01:41:32,541 --> 01:41:34,458 I was answering Mr. Macy. 2158 01:41:34,541 --> 01:41:35,750 There's no casting issue. 2159 01:41:35,833 --> 01:41:39,875 I'm ready and eager to do a half-hour domestic comedy for CBS, 2160 01:41:39,958 --> 01:41:44,416 if the role of my husband... let's call him Shmezy... is played by Desi. 2161 01:41:44,500 --> 01:41:46,541 - Can I remark on this? - Please. 2162 01:41:46,625 --> 01:41:50,541 On My Favorite Husband, your husband is the fifth vice president of a bank. 2163 01:41:50,625 --> 01:41:52,708 - Yes. - Can I ask you, in all candor, 2164 01:41:52,791 --> 01:41:56,125 do you see Desi as the fifth vice president of a bank? 2165 01:41:56,208 --> 01:41:59,000 I can't see him being the fifth vice president of anything. 2166 01:41:59,083 --> 01:42:00,666 I can see him owning the bank. 2167 01:42:01,625 --> 01:42:02,833 You see the problem? 2168 01:42:02,916 --> 01:42:04,958 I see what you think is the problem. 2169 01:42:05,041 --> 01:42:06,333 - Lucy. - Yes. 2170 01:42:06,416 --> 01:42:08,875 I don't ordinarily come to meetings like this. 2171 01:42:08,958 --> 01:42:13,166 This meeting is several floors below my general interest. 2172 01:42:13,250 --> 01:42:16,958 I'm here to deliver a hard truth. 2173 01:42:17,041 --> 01:42:23,416 We cannot have an all-American girl married to a man who isn't American. 2174 01:42:23,500 --> 01:42:25,083 He is American. 2175 01:42:25,166 --> 01:42:29,083 He was a sergeant in the U.S. Army and he served in the war. 2176 01:42:29,166 --> 01:42:31,916 You know exactly what I mean, Lucy. 2177 01:42:32,000 --> 01:42:34,125 - He's Spanish. - Still no. 2178 01:42:34,208 --> 01:42:35,684 He's never been to Spain in his life. 2179 01:42:35,708 --> 01:42:37,268 He speaks Spanish. He was born in Cuba. 2180 01:42:37,333 --> 01:42:41,500 His father was the mayor of Santiago, Cuba's second largest city. 2181 01:42:41,583 --> 01:42:43,583 - You know exactly what... - What you mean? Yes. 2182 01:42:43,666 --> 01:42:44,708 I do. 2183 01:42:44,791 --> 01:42:47,250 Look, I'm not here to get a job for my nephew. 2184 01:42:47,333 --> 01:42:49,958 Desi Arnaz is a phenomenally talented man. 2185 01:42:50,041 --> 01:42:52,833 Not just a world-class musician, but a very good actor 2186 01:42:52,916 --> 01:42:56,416 who would be a movie star if there was such a thing as a Cuban movie star. 2187 01:42:56,500 --> 01:42:59,041 Moreover, we work very well together. 2188 01:42:59,125 --> 01:43:02,500 I go out and meet him when he's touring, he brings me up for some sketches, 2189 01:43:02,583 --> 01:43:03,833 and it works. 2190 01:43:03,916 --> 01:43:05,166 - Jess? - Yeah, it works. 2191 01:43:05,250 --> 01:43:08,000 Any cultural differences will make for good comedy. 2192 01:43:08,083 --> 01:43:09,208 Am I right, Jess? 2193 01:43:09,291 --> 01:43:10,875 You're not wrong. 2194 01:43:10,958 --> 01:43:12,642 Now, I don't want to take another meeting like this 2195 01:43:12,666 --> 01:43:14,726 'cause I don't know how many more people will fit around the table. 2196 01:43:14,750 --> 01:43:16,916 My position is not gonna change. 2197 01:43:17,000 --> 01:43:18,416 You want me on television? 2198 01:43:18,500 --> 01:43:21,000 There is only one television show that I'm willing to do. 2199 01:43:21,083 --> 01:43:23,791 So, what's it gonna be? 2200 01:43:50,541 --> 01:43:51,916 All right, holding. Get Des. 2201 01:44:03,500 --> 01:44:04,958 We think it's about 15 minutes. 2202 01:44:06,041 --> 01:44:07,601 - You think? - We're holding for something. 2203 01:44:07,625 --> 01:44:10,375 - I'm not sure what. - Okay, thanks. 2204 01:44:10,458 --> 01:44:11,875 Holding? 2205 01:44:14,333 --> 01:44:16,333 Yeah, come in. 2206 01:44:20,541 --> 01:44:22,875 - Can I have a second? - Sure. 2207 01:44:27,333 --> 01:44:29,041 I think I know why you want to see me. 2208 01:44:29,125 --> 01:44:31,208 - Do you? - Hear me out. 2209 01:44:31,291 --> 01:44:32,476 I asked you to do me a favor, Jess. 2210 01:44:32,500 --> 01:44:34,476 - I asked you to give him an E.P. credit. - Mm-hmm. 2211 01:44:34,500 --> 01:44:38,250 Instead, you tried to convince him he was the title character or some bullshit. 2212 01:44:38,333 --> 01:44:39,375 What the hell was that?! 2213 01:44:39,458 --> 01:44:40,851 I'm sorry if he was insulted. 2214 01:44:40,875 --> 01:44:42,476 I mean, I know he's insulted, so I'm sorry. 2215 01:44:42,500 --> 01:44:44,916 He wasn't insulted. He was laughing about it. 2216 01:44:45,000 --> 01:44:46,541 But, yeah, he's insulted. 2217 01:44:46,625 --> 01:44:48,208 No, he's offended. I'm insulted. 2218 01:44:48,291 --> 01:44:51,458 - I asked you to do me a small favor. - Yeah. 2219 01:44:51,541 --> 01:44:53,416 And it's not like you don't owe me a couple. 2220 01:44:55,666 --> 01:44:57,666 It wasn't a small favor. 2221 01:44:57,750 --> 01:44:59,541 And I don't know what you think I owe you. 2222 01:44:59,625 --> 01:45:01,375 - Really? - It wasn't a small favor. 2223 01:45:01,458 --> 01:45:04,250 - You asked me to save your marriage. - No, I... 2224 01:45:04,333 --> 01:45:06,392 And-and it's not the first time you've asked me to do that, is it? 2225 01:45:06,416 --> 01:45:09,208 I asked you to give him an E.P. credit, that's all. 2226 01:45:09,291 --> 01:45:11,416 Oh, no problem. Can my wife play Lucy once in a while? 2227 01:45:11,500 --> 01:45:13,250 If your wife played Lucy once in a while, 2228 01:45:13,333 --> 01:45:15,958 I would think it appropriate she be so credited. 2229 01:45:16,041 --> 01:45:17,642 And what do you mean it's not the first time 2230 01:45:17,666 --> 01:45:19,625 I asked you to save my marriage? 2231 01:45:19,708 --> 01:45:21,434 "Jess, Jess, we'll have Desi play my husband. 2232 01:45:21,458 --> 01:45:23,642 - It'll save my marriage." - Was that supposed to be me? 2233 01:45:23,666 --> 01:45:25,083 - Yeah, yeah. - Don't do voices. 2234 01:45:25,166 --> 01:45:27,083 Oh, are you insulted? Desi's offended? 2235 01:45:27,166 --> 01:45:29,875 You asked me to give away my job title like it was a parking spot! 2236 01:45:29,958 --> 01:45:31,208 You're right. 2237 01:45:31,291 --> 01:45:32,708 - I'm sorry! - Jesus Christ, Lucy! 2238 01:45:32,791 --> 01:45:34,625 Sometimes I think that you... 2239 01:45:37,625 --> 01:45:38,833 Wait, what? 2240 01:45:40,416 --> 01:45:42,125 You're right. I'm sorry. 2241 01:45:42,208 --> 01:45:43,375 I was dead wrong. 2242 01:45:43,458 --> 01:45:45,666 I wasn't expecting that. 2243 01:45:45,750 --> 01:45:47,309 - I know. - Have you ever said that to me before? 2244 01:45:47,333 --> 01:45:49,250 I doubt it, but... 2245 01:45:49,333 --> 01:45:51,791 I've thought it, if that means anything. 2246 01:45:51,875 --> 01:45:53,708 It does. 2247 01:45:54,708 --> 01:45:57,875 It's just been a compound fracture of a week. 2248 01:45:59,875 --> 01:46:01,500 Hey. 2249 01:46:01,583 --> 01:46:03,625 - Why are we holding? - I'm not sure. 2250 01:46:03,708 --> 01:46:05,267 We're holding. Someone has to know why. 2251 01:46:05,291 --> 01:46:07,250 He's-he's coming. 2252 01:46:07,333 --> 01:46:09,625 Come in. 2253 01:46:09,708 --> 01:46:11,458 Desi's asking to see you in his office. 2254 01:46:12,541 --> 01:46:14,642 - You mean in his dressing room? - No, he's in his office 2255 01:46:14,666 --> 01:46:17,083 with some CBS executives and some men from Philip Morris. 2256 01:46:19,875 --> 01:46:21,583 Why is he in his office at showtime? 2257 01:46:28,125 --> 01:46:30,875 The evening editions just came out. 2258 01:46:34,833 --> 01:46:36,250 Listen to me. 2259 01:46:36,333 --> 01:46:38,000 Memorize this. 2260 01:46:38,083 --> 01:46:40,041 "It's none of your fucking business." 2261 01:46:44,208 --> 01:46:45,291 There. 2262 01:46:45,375 --> 01:46:47,791 Let that be the best thing I ever wrote. 2263 01:46:54,416 --> 01:46:55,625 Nah. 2264 01:46:55,708 --> 01:46:57,416 It's still "Vitameatavegamin." 2265 01:47:19,125 --> 01:47:20,541 The evening edition. 2266 01:47:25,375 --> 01:47:26,791 It's all right. 2267 01:47:26,875 --> 01:47:28,291 It's all right. 2268 01:47:30,666 --> 01:47:32,500 It's in four-inch type. 2269 01:47:32,583 --> 01:47:34,583 I'm gonna fix this. 2270 01:47:34,666 --> 01:47:36,000 That's Hindenburg type. 2271 01:47:36,083 --> 01:47:38,041 I've already made the calls. 2272 01:47:38,125 --> 01:47:39,916 - And they used red ink. - Yeah. 2273 01:47:40,000 --> 01:47:42,416 I didn't even know newspapers had red ink. 2274 01:47:42,500 --> 01:47:43,833 I guess they do. 2275 01:47:43,916 --> 01:47:46,208 I was cleared. 2276 01:47:46,291 --> 01:47:49,541 Somehow, the city editor, a woman named Agness Underwood, 2277 01:47:49,625 --> 01:47:54,375 has a photostatic copy of the affidavit showing you registered in 1936 2278 01:47:54,458 --> 01:47:56,778 as a voter intending to affiliate with the Communist Party. 2279 01:47:56,833 --> 01:47:58,000 But I was cleared. 2280 01:47:58,083 --> 01:48:00,101 After the testimony, they stamped "canceled" on the card, 2281 01:48:00,125 --> 01:48:01,166 and I saw the card. 2282 01:48:01,250 --> 01:48:02,851 Other papers are showing the canceled card. 2283 01:48:02,875 --> 01:48:05,750 They're running a caption that says, "Note the cancellation at left." 2284 01:48:05,833 --> 01:48:10,125 But the Herald-Express took the word "canceled" out of the document altogether. 2285 01:48:10,208 --> 01:48:11,583 Other papers? 2286 01:48:11,666 --> 01:48:14,666 Yes, yes, but I've-I've made calls and we are taking care of this. 2287 01:48:14,750 --> 01:48:16,791 - We... Eh? - Calls to who? 2288 01:48:16,875 --> 01:48:18,892 Every reporter within 20 minutes of this soundstage. 2289 01:48:18,916 --> 01:48:20,000 That's why we're holding. 2290 01:48:20,083 --> 01:48:22,250 - You're saying reporters are coming here? - Yeah. 2291 01:48:22,333 --> 01:48:24,416 We'll seat them in the back of the bleachers. 2292 01:48:24,500 --> 01:48:26,541 You think we're still filming a show? 2293 01:48:26,625 --> 01:48:29,000 Why are none of you talking? 2294 01:48:29,083 --> 01:48:30,500 Desi has an idea. 2295 01:48:30,583 --> 01:48:34,833 I'm going to warm up the audience the way I always do, 2296 01:48:34,916 --> 01:48:38,666 except instead of "Cuban Pete" and the joke about the turtle, 2297 01:48:38,750 --> 01:48:40,875 I'm going to tell them what happened. 2298 01:48:40,958 --> 01:48:44,291 I'm going to explain that you checked the wrong box, 2299 01:48:44,375 --> 01:48:47,291 I'm going to show them the canceled document, 2300 01:48:47,375 --> 01:48:49,750 and then I'm going to bring you out 2301 01:48:49,833 --> 01:48:52,500 so the press sees them give you a round of applause. 2302 01:48:52,583 --> 01:48:53,666 Yes. 2303 01:48:54,666 --> 01:48:55,875 Hmm? 2304 01:48:57,250 --> 01:48:59,208 Fellas, can we, um... 2305 01:48:59,291 --> 01:49:01,375 have the room for just a moment? 2306 01:49:14,625 --> 01:49:18,541 You're not telling these people that I checked the wrong box. 2307 01:49:18,625 --> 01:49:20,625 This is a critical moment, Lucy. 2308 01:49:20,708 --> 01:49:22,625 - If I'm gonna die... - You're not. 2309 01:49:22,708 --> 01:49:24,541 ...I would rather die standing up. 2310 01:49:24,625 --> 01:49:25,976 I don't have any idea what that is suppo... 2311 01:49:26,000 --> 01:49:27,840 I'm not an idiot. I didn't check the wrong box. 2312 01:49:27,875 --> 01:49:28,875 You saw the headline. 2313 01:49:28,958 --> 01:49:31,833 - You can see the headline from outer space. - Then please... 2314 01:49:31,916 --> 01:49:34,958 Grandpa Fred raised me from when I was age four. 2315 01:49:35,041 --> 01:49:38,125 He cared about the little guy. He cared about workers' rights. 2316 01:49:38,208 --> 01:49:41,000 It was a tribute to him, and to say that I checked the wrong... 2317 01:49:41,083 --> 01:49:42,458 Grandpa Fred, Grandpa Fred. 2318 01:49:42,541 --> 01:49:45,458 Grandpa Fred was wrong, Lucy! 2319 01:49:45,541 --> 01:49:49,083 Yes, he didn't tell you the part where they throw your father in prison 2320 01:49:49,166 --> 01:49:51,291 for the crime of being the mayor of a city. 2321 01:49:51,375 --> 01:49:55,666 I was chased to this country, Lucy! 2322 01:49:55,750 --> 01:49:57,833 Believe me, you checked the wrong box! 2323 01:50:00,791 --> 01:50:02,333 And if they don't applaud? 2324 01:50:03,958 --> 01:50:06,666 They will. And the press will write that they did. 2325 01:50:09,208 --> 01:50:11,541 You're gonna tell them I was accused of... 2326 01:50:11,625 --> 01:50:14,083 They're going to read it in the morning anyway. 2327 01:50:14,166 --> 01:50:17,875 We have a sample population of 200 people on our stage, so... 2328 01:50:17,958 --> 01:50:19,541 Miss Rosen! 2329 01:50:19,625 --> 01:50:21,625 If they boo me? 2330 01:50:23,000 --> 01:50:24,666 If they boo you... 2331 01:50:27,000 --> 01:50:28,958 ...then we're done. 2332 01:50:29,041 --> 01:50:31,250 Here, tonight. 2333 01:50:38,750 --> 01:50:40,375 Call this man. 2334 01:50:41,833 --> 01:50:44,583 Tell them it's for me. 2335 01:50:44,666 --> 01:50:46,000 They'll find him. 2336 01:50:46,083 --> 01:50:48,250 He's expecting my call. 2337 01:50:48,333 --> 01:50:49,833 Tell me when you have him. 2338 01:50:49,916 --> 01:50:51,333 Yes, sir. 2339 01:51:09,500 --> 01:51:11,916 Someone said they spotted you going out here. 2340 01:51:17,666 --> 01:51:18,875 I was just told. 2341 01:51:20,333 --> 01:51:23,333 Jesus, Lulu. Four-inch type? 2342 01:51:23,416 --> 01:51:25,041 Red ink. 2343 01:51:27,916 --> 01:51:29,625 I shouldn't have piled on this week. 2344 01:51:29,708 --> 01:51:31,125 It just... 2345 01:51:32,250 --> 01:51:33,583 What? 2346 01:51:34,583 --> 01:51:36,791 None of that matters right now. 2347 01:51:39,416 --> 01:51:41,166 May be the last time we're out here. 2348 01:51:41,250 --> 01:51:43,041 Say it. 2349 01:51:47,291 --> 01:51:50,666 Lucy Ricardo is married to a man six years younger than she is, 2350 01:51:50,750 --> 01:51:54,041 and Ethel is married to her grandfather, and it's understood, 2351 01:51:54,125 --> 01:51:56,958 as the underlying premise for a running joke, 2352 01:51:57,041 --> 01:51:59,333 that I'm not pretty enough for him. 2353 01:52:02,166 --> 01:52:04,333 It got to me. 2354 01:52:04,416 --> 01:52:06,166 And at the world's worst time. 2355 01:52:13,583 --> 01:52:15,666 That was a knockout dress. 2356 01:52:19,041 --> 01:52:21,416 Oh. You two want to be alone out here? 2357 01:52:21,500 --> 01:52:22,666 - No. - Yes. 2358 01:52:32,083 --> 01:52:33,708 You're my hero. 2359 01:52:35,666 --> 01:52:37,583 I care about what works, Maddie. 2360 01:52:39,500 --> 01:52:42,125 I care about what's funny. 2361 01:52:42,208 --> 01:52:47,500 I don't see myself caring about a woman's perspective from a new generation. 2362 01:52:47,583 --> 01:52:49,583 I care about you. 2363 01:52:52,875 --> 01:52:54,666 I'd love for someone to bring me breakfast. 2364 01:52:54,750 --> 01:52:58,333 That's not what we were talking about. 2365 01:52:58,416 --> 01:53:01,166 Doesn't a P.A. bring you breakfast every day? 2366 01:53:01,250 --> 01:53:02,916 - Yes. - Okay. 2367 01:53:03,000 --> 01:53:04,583 Never French toast. 2368 01:53:04,666 --> 01:53:06,958 - We'll look into that. - I came out here 2369 01:53:07,041 --> 01:53:11,791 to try to distract you with nonsense, but I assume these two beat me to it. 2370 01:53:11,875 --> 01:53:15,458 Viv doesn't like the jokes about Ethel being unappealing. 2371 01:53:15,541 --> 01:53:18,625 Yeah, there's no one within the sound of her voice who doesn't know that. 2372 01:53:18,708 --> 01:53:21,166 I said what I felt. 2373 01:53:21,250 --> 01:53:24,541 You've been saying what you felt since the first day of work. 2374 01:53:24,625 --> 01:53:27,500 It's not like you've suddenly given voice to your feelings. 2375 01:53:29,958 --> 01:53:31,166 You know what? 2376 01:53:33,500 --> 01:53:35,208 Sweet ladies? 2377 01:53:38,250 --> 01:53:40,583 Something dies inside a man... 2378 01:53:41,916 --> 01:53:44,958 ...it just dies... 2379 01:53:46,083 --> 01:53:49,458 ...the first time he hears a girl call him old. 2380 01:53:53,083 --> 01:53:58,375 So on the subject of Jess, Bob and Madelyn writing Ethel jokes, 2381 01:53:58,458 --> 01:54:00,166 I'm indifferent. 2382 01:54:00,250 --> 01:54:03,250 You two... 2383 01:54:06,083 --> 01:54:08,208 ...are good actors. 2384 01:54:10,958 --> 01:54:12,958 It's a privilege doing this show with you. 2385 01:54:13,041 --> 01:54:14,958 Now you're scaring the shit out of me. 2386 01:54:15,041 --> 01:54:16,125 I was just gonna say. 2387 01:54:16,208 --> 01:54:18,083 Desi's gonna tell the audience. 2388 01:54:18,166 --> 01:54:19,375 He's invited press. 2389 01:54:19,458 --> 01:54:21,791 He's betting that the audience will accept the truth, 2390 01:54:21,875 --> 01:54:24,291 give their approval, and the press will write about it. 2391 01:54:30,916 --> 01:54:32,541 I'd take the other side of that bet. 2392 01:54:32,625 --> 01:54:33,684 Excuse me. 2393 01:54:33,708 --> 01:54:35,666 Sorry. Mr. Arnaz is ready to do the warm-up. 2394 01:54:35,750 --> 01:54:38,250 Uh, they told me you wanted to know. 2395 01:54:38,333 --> 01:54:39,750 Thank you. 2396 01:54:43,291 --> 01:54:45,166 All right. 2397 01:54:47,625 --> 01:54:49,541 See you out there. 2398 01:54:53,166 --> 01:54:55,333 - Good show. - Good show. 2399 01:54:55,416 --> 01:54:56,666 Good show. 2400 01:55:00,125 --> 01:55:01,458 Luce. 2401 01:55:03,333 --> 01:55:07,125 The dinner scene is inarguably better. 2402 01:55:31,166 --> 01:55:33,875 Now, ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome 2403 01:55:33,958 --> 01:55:36,583 to one of the stars of I Love Lucy. 2404 01:55:36,666 --> 01:55:38,875 You know him as Ricky Ricardo. 2405 01:55:38,958 --> 01:55:41,083 Here's Desi Arnaz! 2406 01:55:43,166 --> 01:55:44,500 Thank you. 2407 01:55:44,583 --> 01:55:45,875 Oh, thank you. 2408 01:55:48,500 --> 01:55:51,416 Thank you. Thank you. 2409 01:55:51,500 --> 01:55:54,000 Thank you very much. 2410 01:55:54,083 --> 01:55:56,833 Usually, right now, I'd be doing the final audience warm-up. 2411 01:55:56,916 --> 01:55:58,392 I'd tell you an old joke about a turtle. 2412 01:55:58,416 --> 01:56:00,166 And I'd point out 2413 01:56:00,250 --> 01:56:03,250 our groundbreaking camera system that allows the studio audience 2414 01:56:03,333 --> 01:56:08,375 to watch the show unobstructed and introduce you to the rest of the cast. 2415 01:56:08,458 --> 01:56:11,958 I'm not doing that tonight, and here's why. 2416 01:56:12,041 --> 01:56:16,416 Last week, my wife, Lucille Ball, 2417 01:56:16,500 --> 01:56:19,541 was asked to testify in front of a closed session 2418 01:56:19,625 --> 01:56:23,000 of the House Un-American Activities Committee. 2419 01:56:24,666 --> 01:56:28,000 Yes, the congressmen who investigate Communism. 2420 01:56:29,083 --> 01:56:33,916 After hours of testimony, the committee concluded unambiguously 2421 01:56:34,000 --> 01:56:38,500 that Lucy was and is in no way involved with the Communist Party. 2422 01:56:38,583 --> 01:56:40,875 So everything's swell, right? 2423 01:56:40,958 --> 01:56:42,791 No. 2424 01:56:42,875 --> 01:56:46,958 Because this is the evening edition headline in the Herald-Express. 2425 01:57:02,458 --> 01:57:03,833 So... 2426 01:57:03,916 --> 01:57:05,583 I made some phone calls. 2427 01:57:05,666 --> 01:57:07,750 I called the editor of the Herald-Express. 2428 01:57:07,833 --> 01:57:10,291 I called the chairman of the committee. 2429 01:57:10,375 --> 01:57:13,250 I called all the members of the committee. 2430 01:57:13,333 --> 01:57:16,500 And I made one more call to someone, and I believe he's still on the line. 2431 01:57:16,583 --> 01:57:17,583 Thank you. 2432 01:57:18,958 --> 01:57:20,541 Are you still with me, sir? 2433 01:57:20,625 --> 01:57:22,583 Yes. 2434 01:57:22,666 --> 01:57:26,000 I'm now standing in front of a studio audience in Hollywood, California, 2435 01:57:26,083 --> 01:57:28,916 and we are joined by a number of members of the press. 2436 01:57:29,000 --> 01:57:30,041 That's fine. 2437 01:57:32,166 --> 01:57:36,666 We want to know, sir, does the FBI have any case against Lucy? 2438 01:57:36,750 --> 01:57:41,291 Does the FBI have any evidence of wrongdoing? 2439 01:57:41,375 --> 01:57:47,500 Does the FBI have any reason to believe that Lucille Ball is a Communist? 2440 01:57:47,583 --> 01:57:49,541 No. Absolutely nothing. 2441 01:57:49,625 --> 01:57:52,458 She's 100% clear. 2442 01:57:52,541 --> 01:57:53,958 Thank you, sir. One more question. 2443 01:57:54,041 --> 01:57:55,625 Will you tell us your name please? 2444 01:57:55,708 --> 01:57:57,583 This is J. Edgar Hoover. 2445 01:57:57,666 --> 01:57:59,101 Thank you, sir. 2446 01:57:59,125 --> 01:58:00,458 Enjoy your evening. 2447 01:58:07,583 --> 01:58:11,000 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my wife 2448 01:58:11,083 --> 01:58:13,583 and the star of I Love Lucy, Lucille Ball! 2449 01:58:47,833 --> 01:58:49,833 So enjoy the show! 2450 01:59:07,875 --> 01:59:09,208 It's all over! 2451 01:59:09,291 --> 01:59:10,333 Thank you. 2452 01:59:10,416 --> 01:59:12,166 - It's over now. - Thank you. 2453 01:59:12,250 --> 01:59:13,333 They love you. 2454 01:59:13,416 --> 01:59:15,583 I love you. 2455 01:59:15,666 --> 01:59:18,583 No one's gonna mess with you ever, Lucy. 2456 01:59:18,666 --> 01:59:20,583 I thought they were gonna boo. 2457 01:59:20,666 --> 01:59:22,541 You want to do a show? 2458 01:59:22,625 --> 01:59:24,125 Have you been cheating on me? 2459 01:59:25,208 --> 01:59:27,583 - What? - Have you been cheating on me? 2460 01:59:27,666 --> 01:59:29,500 - Is this a bit? - No. 2461 01:59:30,583 --> 01:59:31,666 No, I haven't been. 2462 01:59:31,750 --> 01:59:34,208 When you stay out all night, you're on the boat playing cards? 2463 01:59:34,291 --> 01:59:36,083 - Yes. - You haven't been with anybody else? 2464 01:59:36,166 --> 01:59:38,666 - What's going on with you, honey? - Don't gaslight me. 2465 01:59:38,750 --> 01:59:39,875 Where did this come from? 2466 01:59:39,958 --> 01:59:41,958 I mean, they just cheered for you out there. 2467 01:59:42,041 --> 01:59:43,458 They got it right, didn't they? 2468 01:59:43,541 --> 01:59:46,625 - Lucy... - They only got the picture wrong. 2469 01:59:46,708 --> 01:59:48,666 - Luc... - Did they get it right? 2470 01:59:48,750 --> 01:59:50,583 - Lucy... - Did they get it exactly right? 2471 01:59:50,666 --> 01:59:55,041 Jesus Christ, I just proved out there that the Herald-Express got it wrong. 2472 01:59:55,125 --> 01:59:57,541 You think Confidential magazine... 2473 01:59:57,625 --> 01:59:59,916 Conf... We're about to do a show. 2474 02:00:00,000 --> 02:00:01,517 - Just tell me. - Tell me why you think... 2475 02:00:01,541 --> 02:00:04,541 other than that garbage... 2476 02:00:04,625 --> 02:00:07,125 tell me why you think I've cheated on you. 2477 02:00:10,541 --> 02:00:13,208 That is your lipstick. 2478 02:00:13,291 --> 02:00:16,125 Remember? You kissed me at the beginning of the week, 2479 02:00:16,208 --> 02:00:18,458 and then took my handkerchief and wiped the lipstick off 2480 02:00:18,541 --> 02:00:19,833 and put it back in my pocket. 2481 02:00:19,916 --> 02:00:21,351 And you said you'd never done that before. 2482 02:00:21,375 --> 02:00:22,458 I hadn't. 2483 02:00:22,541 --> 02:00:24,208 Then what the hell are we talking about? 2484 02:00:25,875 --> 02:00:28,166 This is my lipstick. 2485 02:00:43,166 --> 02:00:45,583 They were just call girls. 2486 02:00:45,666 --> 02:00:47,041 Hmm. 2487 02:00:49,583 --> 02:00:50,875 They're hookers. 2488 02:00:57,916 --> 02:01:00,000 It doesn't mean anything, Lucy. 2489 02:01:01,000 --> 02:01:03,208 - Look, Lucy, it doesn't mean... - Mm. 2490 02:01:03,291 --> 02:01:04,750 Let's do the show. Yeah? 2491 02:01:04,833 --> 02:01:06,559 Let's just forget about this for a half hour. 2492 02:01:06,583 --> 02:01:07,875 Yeah? Let's do the show. 2493 02:01:07,958 --> 02:01:10,500 Jim, let's go! 2494 02:01:10,583 --> 02:01:13,166 - It's not gonna get better than this. - Copy that. 2495 02:01:13,250 --> 02:01:15,458 - All right, everybody! - Let's do a show! 2496 02:01:15,541 --> 02:01:17,461 This is places for scene "A"! 2497 02:01:17,500 --> 02:01:19,226 - Scene "A"! - Scene "A," places! 2498 02:01:19,250 --> 02:01:21,291 Okay, positions, everyone. 2499 02:01:21,375 --> 02:01:22,875 - Cameras up. - Cameras up. 2500 02:01:22,958 --> 02:01:24,351 Quiet on set. Bell! 2501 02:01:25,458 --> 02:01:26,791 - Quiet please! - Quiet please! 2502 02:01:26,875 --> 02:01:28,208 Picture's up! 2503 02:01:28,291 --> 02:01:30,083 - Picture's up. - Quiet, everyone! 2504 02:01:30,166 --> 02:01:32,166 - Let's roll sound. - Rolling! - Rolling! 2505 02:01:32,250 --> 02:01:33,541 - Sound speed. - And mark. 2506 02:01:33,625 --> 02:01:35,541 - Speed mark. - Dolly. 2507 02:01:35,625 --> 02:01:37,791 Settle. And action. 2508 02:01:38,875 --> 02:01:41,017 It ended up being a good show that night. 2509 02:01:41,041 --> 02:01:43,958 We did both versions of the opening, 2510 02:01:44,041 --> 02:01:46,250 but it was the original version that made it on the air, 2511 02:01:46,333 --> 02:01:47,541 the one with all the names. 2512 02:01:47,625 --> 02:01:51,000 You must've gotten a copy of the "B" negative, 2513 02:01:51,083 --> 02:01:52,583 'cause your original question was... 2514 02:01:52,666 --> 02:01:55,500 For the record, I won my bet with Desi. 2515 02:01:55,583 --> 02:01:57,958 CBS wouldn't let us use the word "pregnant." 2516 02:01:59,541 --> 02:02:01,434 But more people watched the birth of Little Ricky 2517 02:02:01,458 --> 02:02:04,666 than had ever watched a television program before. 2518 02:02:05,833 --> 02:02:07,083 Your original question? 2519 02:02:07,166 --> 02:02:10,458 You asked about why Lucy stopped when we were doing the alt. 2520 02:02:10,541 --> 02:02:11,708 The alternate version. 2521 02:02:11,791 --> 02:02:14,833 We were doing Lucy's version of Ricky's entrance first. 2522 02:02:14,916 --> 02:02:16,541 She was doing the bit with the flowers, 2523 02:02:16,625 --> 02:02:19,208 which we couldn't use 'cause we were running long. 2524 02:02:27,791 --> 02:02:31,833 She takes a pitcher and pours water into the vase... 2525 02:02:31,916 --> 02:02:34,625 Which makes all the flowers come up to the surface. 2526 02:02:44,083 --> 02:02:47,500 It seemed like she just got lost in her own head for a second. 2527 02:02:47,583 --> 02:02:49,333 I can't remember what her cue was. 2528 02:02:49,416 --> 02:02:52,041 It may have been the only time she ever went up on a line. 2529 02:02:52,125 --> 02:02:55,083 I can't remember the first line, but we... 2530 02:02:55,166 --> 02:02:56,583 we had to stop and go again. 2531 02:02:56,666 --> 02:02:58,666 It was Desi's line. 2532 02:02:58,750 --> 02:03:00,500 It was the new bit Lucy put in. 2533 02:03:01,708 --> 02:03:03,166 What was his line? 2534 02:03:03,250 --> 02:03:06,750 Lucy, I'm home! 2535 02:03:35,458 --> 02:03:36,666 Sorry. 2536 02:03:36,750 --> 02:03:38,476 I got lost for a second. 2537 02:03:38,500 --> 02:03:39,976 All right, let's cut and go again. 2538 02:03:40,000 --> 02:03:44,291 We never went back to do another take of the alternate opening. 2539 02:03:44,375 --> 02:03:46,541 Lucy just wanted to move on. 2540 02:04:00,583 --> 02:04:02,708 - Oh! - Guess who it is. 2541 02:04:02,791 --> 02:04:05,500 Bill? Sam? 2542 02:04:05,583 --> 02:04:07,416 - Pat? - No. 2543 02:04:07,500 --> 02:04:11,083 Pedro? Pablo? 2544 02:04:11,166 --> 02:04:12,333 Jose? 2545 02:04:12,416 --> 02:04:13,708 No, it's me. 2546 02:04:13,791 --> 02:04:16,291 Ah, yes, of course. 2547 02:04:16,375 --> 02:04:19,166 - Uh... - Very, very funny. 2548 02:04:19,250 --> 02:04:21,666 Hey, company for dinner? 2549 02:04:21,750 --> 02:04:22,750 Who is it? 2550 02:04:22,833 --> 02:04:24,833 How do you like the new water glasses, Ricky? 2551 02:04:24,916 --> 02:04:26,458 Who's coming for dinner, Lucy? 2552 02:04:26,541 --> 02:04:29,166 Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight? 2553 02:04:29,250 --> 02:04:32,208 - Lucy, who is it? - Some people. 2554 02:07:01,958 --> 02:07:04,041 ♪ They call me Cuban Pete ♪ 2555 02:07:04,125 --> 02:07:06,333 ♪ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♪ 2556 02:07:06,416 --> 02:07:08,166 ♪ When I play the maracas, I go ♪ 2557 02:07:08,250 --> 02:07:11,083 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 2558 02:07:11,166 --> 02:07:13,250 ♪ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♪ 2559 02:07:13,333 --> 02:07:15,500 ♪ I'm the craze of my native street ♪ 2560 02:07:15,583 --> 02:07:17,333 ♪ When I start to dance, everything goes ♪ 2561 02:07:17,416 --> 02:07:20,166 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 2562 02:07:20,250 --> 02:07:24,875 ♪ The señoritas, they sing and how they swing with this rumbero ♪ 2563 02:07:24,958 --> 02:07:26,916 ♪ It's very nice ♪ 2564 02:07:27,000 --> 02:07:29,375 ♪ So full of spice ♪ 2565 02:07:29,458 --> 02:07:30,833 ♪ And when they're dancing ♪ 2566 02:07:30,916 --> 02:07:33,916 ♪ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♪ 2567 02:07:34,000 --> 02:07:36,333 ♪ Singing a song ♪ 2568 02:07:36,416 --> 02:07:38,500 ♪ All the day long ♪ 2569 02:07:38,583 --> 02:07:40,708 ♪ So if you like the beat ♪ 2570 02:07:40,791 --> 02:07:42,916 ♪ Take a lesson from Cuban Pete ♪ 2571 02:07:43,000 --> 02:07:44,833 ♪ And I'll teach you to chick chicky boom ♪ 2572 02:07:44,916 --> 02:07:47,541 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪ 2573 02:07:47,625 --> 02:07:48,833 ♪ Sí, señorita ♪ 2574 02:07:48,916 --> 02:07:52,250 ♪ I know that you would like to chicky boom chick ♪ 2575 02:07:52,333 --> 02:07:54,458 ♪ Because it's the dance ♪ 2576 02:07:54,541 --> 02:07:56,666 ♪ Of Latin romance ♪ 2577 02:07:56,750 --> 02:08:01,375 ♪ And Cuban Pete doesn't teach you in a hurry like Arthur Murray ♪ 2578 02:08:01,458 --> 02:08:03,416 ♪ I come from Havana ♪ 2579 02:08:03,500 --> 02:08:06,041 ♪ And there's always mañana ♪ 2580 02:08:06,125 --> 02:08:08,166 ♪ So, señorita, please ♪ 2581 02:08:08,250 --> 02:08:10,416 ♪ Take it easy, do it with ease ♪ 2582 02:08:10,500 --> 02:08:12,220 ♪ And you'll love it when you do the chick ♪ 2583 02:08:12,250 --> 02:08:16,500 ♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom. ♪