1
00:00:03,029 --> 00:00:06,863
Right. Here goes. Nathan,
my dad, tried to fix his marriage.
2
00:00:06,909 --> 00:00:09,901
That led to a nasty
sex-and-summer-pudding incident.
3
00:00:11,149 --> 00:00:14,141
Oh, my God!
Something... Something cracked!
4
00:00:14,189 --> 00:00:16,783
Stella went to casualty with a broken rib.
5
00:00:16,829 --> 00:00:19,502
Now she's back home
making Nathan pay for it.
6
00:00:19,549 --> 00:00:21,540
Nathan!
7
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:26,902
And me? Well, paranoid Tom with the two
gay dads is still stalking me like a weirdo.
8
00:00:26,949 --> 00:00:28,826
I'm walking the dog.
9
00:00:28,869 --> 00:00:33,704
But what do I care?
I'm not obsessed with Sugar any more.
10
00:00:33,748 --> 00:00:36,183
That must be a good thing.
11
00:01:23,743 --> 00:01:26,661
OK. So at last things were looking up.
12
00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:29,743
Sugar was out of my life.
Stella was back from hospital.
13
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:34,182
I was a 15-year-old with no spots
and a passable pair of tits.
14
00:01:34,226 --> 00:01:37,023
- Nathan?
- Oh, shut up!
15
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:38,211
Life was back to normal.
16
00:01:38,316 --> 00:01:39,291
Nathan?
17
00:01:39,426 --> 00:01:41,140
Coming.
18
00:01:42,748 --> 00:01:45,543
Oh, Nathan, I can't reach...
19
00:01:45,587 --> 00:01:48,743
I'm not sure that you should,
not with your tablets.
20
00:01:48,787 --> 00:01:52,171
- I need them to numb the pain.
- Want me to call the doctor?
21
00:01:52,227 --> 00:01:54,581
I was talking allegorically, Nathan.
22
00:01:54,628 --> 00:01:59,020
I don't mean the pain in my rib which is,
by the way, still excruciating.
23
00:01:59,068 --> 00:02:03,020
I meant the pain of this, of you, of boredom.
24
00:02:03,065 --> 00:02:05,861
Of being married to Kathy Bates.
25
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,741
Pillow.
26
00:02:09,786 --> 00:02:12,541
I'll do it. God knows what else you'll break.
27
00:02:15,346 --> 00:02:18,621
Well, what are you gonna do now?
Magic tricks?
28
00:02:20,826 --> 00:02:22,541
Yeah...
29
00:02:25,586 --> 00:02:27,261
Nathan!
30
00:02:34,547 --> 00:02:36,692
- Fuck.
- Sorry. Sorry.
31
00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:41,143
- Dad!
- Can we speak?
32
00:02:41,197 --> 00:02:43,572
- I'm busy.
- I need you to watch your brother.
33
00:02:43,627 --> 00:02:47,981
- Can't Stella do it? I'm going out.
- Yeah, well... so am I.
34
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,811
Dad?
35
00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:56,691
I can't go on like this, Kim.
36
00:02:58,027 --> 00:03:01,023
Just pretending that everything is OK.
I've had enough.
37
00:03:02,106 --> 00:03:05,020
I'm sorry. I really am sorry.
38
00:03:09,787 --> 00:03:12,170
I'll see you soon.
39
00:03:17,548 --> 00:03:18,773
Nathan...
40
00:03:21,347 --> 00:03:22,541
Dad?
41
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:05,903
Hi. You all right?
42
00:04:08,146 --> 00:04:09,941
- Fine.
- It's Kim, isn't it?
43
00:04:12,105 --> 00:04:15,263
Beth. We met last week.
44
00:04:16,705 --> 00:04:18,141
At the Christian thing.
45
00:04:23,268 --> 00:04:24,941
Yeah.
46
00:04:25,947 --> 00:04:28,411
I saw you come in.
You looked pretty upset.
47
00:04:28,465 --> 00:04:30,183
I'm fine.
48
00:04:31,866 --> 00:04:35,650
- Do you mind if I sit down?
- No.
49
00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:49,622
- I'm really sorry.
- It's fine.
50
00:04:55,388 --> 00:04:58,343
- Nathan's left us.
- Nathan?
51
00:04:58,386 --> 00:05:02,341
Yeah, my dad. It's my mum's fault.
Fucking cow.
52
00:05:05,227 --> 00:05:08,852
- Ever since she left hospital.
- Hospital?
53
00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:11,860
An accident with a summer pudding.
54
00:05:11,905 --> 00:05:15,182
Oh, my God! Something cracked!
55
00:05:16,868 --> 00:05:21,463
It's OK. She deserved it. She's been making
his life hell since the day they met.
56
00:05:21,506 --> 00:05:24,783
For Christ's sake. You can't pretend
this isn't happening.
57
00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:29,851
- Aren't you jumping the gun just a bit?
- The evidence is crawling all over me. Crabs.
58
00:05:29,906 --> 00:05:32,820
- You don't know that.
- Oh, for fuck's sake...
59
00:05:32,868 --> 00:05:36,781
So. My mum's a whore
and my brother's a freak.
60
00:05:36,827 --> 00:05:41,023
My dad's a wet.
Not that I've got much of a leg to stand on.
61
00:05:41,066 --> 00:05:45,903
I'm a homophobic gay virgin desperate
to fuck a girl who will never fancy me.
62
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:51,061
- What's she called?
- Sugar.
63
00:05:51,106 --> 00:05:53,491
Maria Sweet.
64
00:05:53,546 --> 00:05:57,252
She's a total goddess.
And a total bitch.
65
00:05:57,305 --> 00:05:59,501
Right.
66
00:06:01,466 --> 00:06:03,583
I can't believe I'm telling you all this.
67
00:06:03,627 --> 00:06:06,983
- Ciggie?
- I didn't think Christians did that.
68
00:06:07,028 --> 00:06:09,492
They're menthol.
69
00:06:21,545 --> 00:06:26,901
Have you ever spent time with someone,
like intimate time,
70
00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:32,300
with someone who doesn't really know
who you are or how you really feel?
71
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,381
Torture.
72
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:37,143
I tried everything.
73
00:06:37,187 --> 00:06:40,653
Honesty, date rape.
74
00:06:40,708 --> 00:06:44,980
Oh, it's OK. I failed. I just nearly
killed my brother in the process.
75
00:06:46,187 --> 00:06:48,573
I tried to shag a bloke,
only my mum beat me to it.
76
00:06:48,627 --> 00:06:54,260
- Your mother?
- Found them at it doggy style on the kitchen table.
77
00:06:54,307 --> 00:06:58,743
- Then I tried to cure myself.
- Bible classes?
78
00:06:59,305 --> 00:07:01,902
Actually,
I'm not that big on the Christian thing.
79
00:07:01,947 --> 00:07:07,141
Unless you count getting off
with my RE teacher, Sister Angela.
80
00:07:08,868 --> 00:07:11,660
I just went along to the group
to see who I could pull.
81
00:07:23,347 --> 00:07:25,542
- Coffee?
- Yeah.
82
00:07:26,065 --> 00:07:27,702
Excuse me.
83
00:07:30,588 --> 00:07:32,102
Jesus.
84
00:07:32,148 --> 00:07:35,022
We could always go somewhere else.
85
00:07:44,347 --> 00:07:49,213
Just because the last time I'd seen Beth was at a
church group, I'd assumed she was uptight.
86
00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:52,863
- Amazing how wrong you can get people.
- Kim!
87
00:07:54,665 --> 00:07:56,863
- Oh, God...
- Who is it?
88
00:07:56,907 --> 00:07:59,583
My next door neighbour.
Just wait here a minute.
89
00:07:59,627 --> 00:08:02,383
Hi. Oh, thank God.
90
00:08:02,428 --> 00:08:05,420
Just because the last place
I saw Tom was...
91
00:08:09,228 --> 00:08:12,902
... in his bedroom, he seemed to think
he had some kind of claim on me now.
92
00:08:12,945 --> 00:08:14,741
I left you a thousand messages.
93
00:08:15,988 --> 00:08:18,212
- What are you doing?
- Holding your hand.
94
00:08:18,268 --> 00:08:20,863
- Don't.
- Why not?
95
00:08:20,908 --> 00:08:23,661
There's no point
in being shy about things now.
96
00:08:23,706 --> 00:08:28,381
That's what I wanted to talk to you about,
actually. You were... You were fantastic.
97
00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:31,540
- I can't get it out of my mind.
- Tom!
98
00:08:33,548 --> 00:08:36,502
OK, so maybe
I'd been giving out mixed messages.
99
00:08:36,948 --> 00:08:38,823
I wanna see you tonight.
100
00:08:39,415 --> 00:08:40,682
But I wasn't going to now.
101
00:08:41,107 --> 00:08:43,172
- Tom.
- Yes.
102
00:08:44,788 --> 00:08:46,933
I'm gay.
103
00:08:49,908 --> 00:08:50,891
Hm?
104
00:08:55,146 --> 00:08:57,662
- You're gay?
- Yeah.
105
00:09:00,108 --> 00:09:01,102
I'm sorry.
106
00:09:01,287 --> 00:09:02,621
Which was a lie,
107
00:09:02,746 --> 00:09:05,860
because for the first time, I wasn't sorry.
108
00:09:05,905 --> 00:09:08,370
You're quite sure about that?
109
00:09:14,497 --> 00:09:17,172
I'm in 100 percent certain.
110
00:09:18,265 --> 00:09:20,820
For the first time, I was out.
111
00:09:21,867 --> 00:09:23,700
And proud.
112
00:09:31,187 --> 00:09:35,660
Sometimes it takes an outsider to help you
gain a sense of perspective on life.
113
00:09:38,505 --> 00:09:42,050
They're out of raspberry.
I got you hundreds and thousands instead.
114
00:09:42,105 --> 00:09:45,062
It's good to branch out occasionally.
115
00:09:49,627 --> 00:09:53,861
For the record, she's not worth it. Treacle,
Candyfloss or whatever her name is.
116
00:09:53,906 --> 00:09:56,501
- Sugar.
- Short-term fix.
117
00:09:56,548 --> 00:09:59,141
Sends your heart rocketing
and rots your teeth.
118
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:04,423
You're melting. Lick.
119
00:10:12,826 --> 00:10:16,503
I can't believe in three months
you've only met one girl you like.
120
00:10:18,507 --> 00:10:20,943
- I haven't really met anybody.
- It's Brighton.
121
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:25,583
The place is crawling with candidates. Got
to make the most of what it's famous for.
122
00:10:29,307 --> 00:10:32,062
Bet you haven't even been for a swim yet.
123
00:10:37,865 --> 00:10:40,170
- You're joking.
- Race ya.
124
00:10:40,227 --> 00:10:42,582
- No way.
- Come on.
125
00:10:52,668 --> 00:10:55,221
Come on in, Sister, and wash away your...
126
00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:59,143
- It's freezing.
- Forgive me, Father...
127
00:11:14,587 --> 00:11:16,380
Save me.
128
00:11:20,706 --> 00:11:22,622
Save me.
129
00:12:29,268 --> 00:12:31,570
Are you not coming down for tea?
130
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:32,942
What's up?
131
00:12:35,585 --> 00:12:37,422
Hey, hey.
132
00:12:39,988 --> 00:12:43,663
You OK? Are they still calling you names?
133
00:12:43,708 --> 00:12:46,582
I can't bear you suffering because of us.
134
00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:49,301
No, no, Dad. It's not that. I don't...
135
00:12:51,065 --> 00:12:53,531
I don't care about the names.
136
00:12:55,467 --> 00:12:57,581
I slept with Kim.
137
00:12:58,508 --> 00:13:01,703
- Right.
- And...
138
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:07,100
She... She's now got a girlfriend.
139
00:13:10,186 --> 00:13:15,051
- Right.
- I thought I really... liked...
140
00:13:17,065 --> 00:13:18,292
Loved her.
141
00:13:21,107 --> 00:13:25,261
- Where are all the nice straight people?
- Come here.
142
00:13:29,707 --> 00:13:32,300
Do you know how proud we are of you?
143
00:13:32,348 --> 00:13:35,343
- Oh, Dad...
- Listen to your father.
144
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:41,741
You're the bravest, fairest,
most open-minded,
145
00:13:41,787 --> 00:13:46,183
thoughtful person that we know.
146
00:13:46,829 --> 00:13:51,942
The problem's not that there aren't plenty of
straight girls waiting for you to pick them up.
147
00:13:51,986 --> 00:13:55,220
The problem is finding one good enough.
148
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:58,570
- Mmm...
- And in the meantime,
149
00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:01,301
I wouldn't worry
about having slept with a lesbian.
150
00:14:01,348 --> 00:14:05,500
Most straight guys would consider that
something of an achievement.
151
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:10,381
Most straight guys would be... pretty proud.
152
00:14:13,866 --> 00:14:16,223
I love you.
153
00:14:24,186 --> 00:14:26,903
My first relationship
with a woman was a mess.
154
00:14:26,948 --> 00:14:30,540
Bit of a livewire, you know?
Met her up at the university campus.
155
00:14:30,585 --> 00:14:33,050
Older woman. Well, two years older.
156
00:14:33,107 --> 00:14:37,023
Totally gorgeous but mad as a brush.
157
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:42,620
Didn't know where I was with her.
Mucked up school for me and everything.
158
00:14:42,665 --> 00:14:45,223
It was like my life just stopped.
159
00:14:45,265 --> 00:14:48,143
And you know what? I didn't care.
160
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:52,970
It's not right, though. Liking someone
who makes you feel miserable.
161
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:57,700
Absolutely not. But I guess
that's why we met where we met.
162
00:14:58,986 --> 00:15:01,660
I was just up for anything
that would take my mind off her.
163
00:15:01,708 --> 00:15:04,223
Yeah, me too.
164
00:15:04,268 --> 00:15:08,860
Especially after my mum
caught us in bed together. Yes.
165
00:15:08,905 --> 00:15:12,340
Easily the most mortifying moment
of my life to date.
166
00:15:12,386 --> 00:15:15,503
- Did she got mental?
- Well, we didn't speak for a while.
167
00:15:15,546 --> 00:15:20,460
Then I thought, "Fuck, what's the worst that can
happen?" So we chatted and we both cried.
168
00:15:21,028 --> 00:15:24,652
Then I got the usual shit.
"What about the grandchildren?"
169
00:15:24,707 --> 00:15:30,780
Things calmed down, and that Christmas
I got a turkey baster in my stocking.
170
00:15:32,506 --> 00:15:34,263
How are your parents about things?
171
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:38,740
Oh, to be honest,
they've got their own preoccupations.
172
00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:42,303
- I don't think they take much notice of me.
- I'm sorry.
173
00:15:42,346 --> 00:15:44,940
No, it suits me fine.
174
00:15:45,956 --> 00:15:49,102
This is really good, you know?
Talking about stuff.
175
00:15:49,666 --> 00:15:51,662
Something I never do with Sugar.
176
00:15:54,545 --> 00:15:58,903
I mean, why can't I meet someone
I get on with and like... likes me?
177
00:15:58,948 --> 00:16:02,220
Meet someone
and just feel easy with them?
178
00:16:17,066 --> 00:16:20,261
If your mum's so uninterested in you,
why did she come back?
179
00:16:20,305 --> 00:16:24,341
She got bored of Dale. She wanted a roof over her
head. Dale would have chucked her out.
180
00:16:24,386 --> 00:16:28,303
Are you sure about that?
Purely selfish reasons?
181
00:16:29,346 --> 00:16:33,581
Look. I think you should talk to Stella.
Tell her to sort it out.
182
00:16:33,628 --> 00:16:36,180
What's the worst that could happen?
183
00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:54,011
There are some conversations
you've been waiting for all your life.
184
00:17:01,746 --> 00:17:04,053
- Stella?
- Mmm?
185
00:17:05,547 --> 00:17:09,540
If it's dinner, get a Chinese.
I don't feel up to cooking yet.
186
00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:21,623
Kim? My head's killing me.
If you've got something to say, spit it out.
187
00:17:24,705 --> 00:17:27,092
Oh. You all right?
188
00:17:27,948 --> 00:17:29,943
No. Not really.
189
00:17:33,147 --> 00:17:35,663
I want you to talk to Dad.
190
00:17:35,707 --> 00:17:39,782
- That's difficult. I don't know where he is.
- You have his mobile.
191
00:17:41,148 --> 00:17:44,423
- He walked out.
- And you shagged around.
192
00:17:47,506 --> 00:17:51,743
Sorry. I promised myself
I wouldn't shout and I'd be grown-up.
193
00:17:53,827 --> 00:17:57,703
- This isn't gonna work.
- Sorry?
194
00:17:58,388 --> 00:18:01,422
This. Us. The way we are.
195
00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:04,222
It's not fair on me.
196
00:18:06,025 --> 00:18:08,460
And it's not fair on Matt.
197
00:18:09,745 --> 00:18:13,261
I know we've always been
a screwed-up family.
198
00:18:13,305 --> 00:18:16,342
- But this is a fucking mess.
- Language.
199
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,772
Shit! Fucking bollocks!
200
00:18:20,828 --> 00:18:22,940
Just look at you.
201
00:18:23,748 --> 00:18:26,261
You're crap.
202
00:18:28,386 --> 00:18:32,700
You... don't do maternal and you never have.
203
00:18:33,705 --> 00:18:35,341
Are you saying I'm a bad mother?
204
00:18:37,386 --> 00:18:39,383
You're Stella.
205
00:18:41,066 --> 00:18:43,260
And you've never wanted to be more than that.
206
00:18:47,468 --> 00:18:49,501
Oh, God.
207
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:58,783
We still want you.
208
00:19:00,866 --> 00:19:03,013
But... with Dad.
209
00:19:13,147 --> 00:19:16,503
For the first time in my life,
I felt like an adult.
210
00:19:33,827 --> 00:19:35,343
See ya.
211
00:19:35,386 --> 00:19:39,621
Stella had called Nathan
and he was coming round.
212
00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:46,380
She's in the lounge. Tidying.
213
00:19:46,427 --> 00:19:50,781
I'd got my parents back together.
I was going out on a date.
214
00:19:54,346 --> 00:19:56,140
And literally out.
215
00:19:58,828 --> 00:20:02,450
- So how did it go?
- Fine. I'll tell you later.
216
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,022
OK.
217
00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:09,332
Hi.
218
00:20:11,788 --> 00:20:13,701
I had her.
219
00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:16,131
What? You're kidding?
220
00:20:16,185 --> 00:20:18,222
Mm-mm. And her girlfriend.
221
00:20:18,268 --> 00:20:21,143
Seriously.
222
00:20:24,905 --> 00:20:27,621
Everything seemed to be
turning out all right.
223
00:20:33,306 --> 00:20:36,221
- Drink?
- No, thanks.
224
00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:38,020
No. Right.
225
00:20:41,468 --> 00:20:44,703
I've been talking to Kim.
Kim's been talking to me,
226
00:20:44,748 --> 00:20:49,660
and... she made me realise
that I owe you an apology.
227
00:20:50,348 --> 00:20:54,971
No, listen. For being a terrible mother
and a terrible wife.
228
00:20:55,027 --> 00:20:58,901
- Stella, I...
- I just... I don't seem to be a natural
229
00:20:58,946 --> 00:21:02,492
at all the domestic, maternal stuff.
230
00:21:02,548 --> 00:21:06,382
And... if we're honest,
231
00:21:06,426 --> 00:21:11,860
we both know that it would be silly to
pretend that I'm suddenly gonna change.
232
00:21:11,907 --> 00:21:15,372
It's OK.
I've been doing a lot of thinking myself.
233
00:21:15,425 --> 00:21:18,101
Um...
234
00:21:18,148 --> 00:21:20,502
I don't want to go on like this.
235
00:21:22,787 --> 00:21:25,621
- No.
- It's not just your fault.
236
00:21:25,665 --> 00:21:28,052
It's mine too.
237
00:21:28,107 --> 00:21:31,572
I should have realised
that our marriage was failing long ago.
238
00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:36,183
Only the more
I tried to salvage the relationship,
239
00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:38,583
the worse things have got.
240
00:21:38,628 --> 00:21:43,861
And the more... pathetic I've become.
241
00:21:43,906 --> 00:21:46,340
- I mean, pitiful.
- Nathan.
242
00:21:46,385 --> 00:21:50,823
If I woke up next to this each morning,
I'd start screwing odd-job men for kicks.
243
00:21:50,865 --> 00:21:51,931
No.
244
00:21:51,985 --> 00:21:56,221
I've turned into someone
that I never wanted to be.
245
00:21:57,548 --> 00:21:58,861
I still love you.
246
00:22:03,985 --> 00:22:06,421
I still love you too.
247
00:22:08,665 --> 00:22:10,943
But I don't wanna go on like this.
248
00:22:12,267 --> 00:22:13,901
I think it's right that you should leave.
249
00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:35,420
- Hello?
- Kiz.
250
00:22:36,426 --> 00:22:38,141
I need you.
251
00:22:41,388 --> 00:22:45,942
Kiz, can you hear me? I'm in deep shit.
252
00:22:48,346 --> 00:22:50,023
Please.
253
00:23:14,926 --> 00:23:19,921
Synchronization and corrections
Allenmcbeal
254
00:23:23,457 --> 00:23:26,423
Tracklist : "A Girl Like You", Edwyn Collins
"Let Go", Frou Frou
"Banquet", Bloc Party
255
00:23:26,427 --> 00:23:29,422
"Under A Melting Moon", El Hula
"Don�t Panic", Coldplay
"Hold You In My Arms", Ray Lamontagne
256
00:23:29,428 --> 00:23:32,421
"Forever", Goldfrapp
"Lazy Daisy", Another Fine Day
"Sunny Road", Emiliana Torrini