1
00:00:02,709 --> 00:00:05,789
Gather around, gentle viewers,
have I got a story for you!
2
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,575
(laughing)
3
00:00:08,166 --> 00:00:08,996
(beeps)
4
00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:10,713
A-Bomb: 'Twas the night before Christmas,
5
00:00:10,792 --> 00:00:14,292
when all through the town,
not a creature was stirring,
6
00:00:14,375 --> 00:00:16,285
except for this Negative Zone clown.
7
00:00:18,709 --> 00:00:22,669
A-Bomb: His monsters beside him,
Blastaar thought New York he could trash.
8
00:00:22,750 --> 00:00:23,920
(roaring)
9
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:28,535
A-Bomb: But in his way stood the Hulk,
and his Agents of S.M.A.S.H.
10
00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:31,165
I'll take Scrooge.
You get his little helpers.
11
00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,880
A-Bomb: Ho, ho, ho!
12
00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:36,081
Merry smash-mas!
13
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,666
-A-Bomb: Hey!
-Skaar: Skaar slash!
14
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,166
Oops.
15
00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:45,383
She-Hulk: Rink's closed, frosty!
16
00:00:48,291 --> 00:00:49,541
(yelling)
17
00:00:51,709 --> 00:00:53,709
(rumbling)
18
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,165
Hulk: I'm sending you home.
19
00:01:01,041 --> 00:01:02,921
Happy holidays.
20
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Sayonara, Snaggletooth!
21
00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:08,003
A-Bomb: Don't let the portal
hit you in the butt on your way out!
22
00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:15,503
Jameson: Congratulations,
you muscle-bound menaces!
23
00:01:16,083 --> 00:01:18,173
Not only did you destroy a city block,
24
00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:20,880
not only did your wooly-faced playmate
get away,
25
00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,709
but you ruined Christmas, too. Nice going.
26
00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:26,331
(whimpering)
27
00:01:26,375 --> 00:01:28,705
-Blastaar started it.
-Come on, Rick.
28
00:01:28,792 --> 00:01:30,082
Hulk: Let's clean this up.
29
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:34,166
(A-Bomb sighs)
Sure. We'll just clean it up.
30
00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:38,040
"Clean it up"? Yeah, sure.
Maybe you can wreck New Year's eve, too!
31
00:01:39,208 --> 00:01:41,998
Something gets smashed, we get the blame.
32
00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:43,625
It's not fair!
33
00:01:43,709 --> 00:01:44,829
(groans)
34
00:01:44,917 --> 00:01:46,877
I'm about ready to sue somebody.
35
00:01:47,667 --> 00:01:50,457
You accidentally trash one major city,
36
00:01:50,542 --> 00:01:54,832
and suddenly you're off the invite list
to the White House Christmas dinner.
37
00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:56,127
Humbug.
38
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,210
Hulks always called losers.
39
00:01:59,917 --> 00:02:02,577
Skaar need eggnog. And ham.
40
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,575
It'd just be nice if someday
41
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:08,329
my team could get
the respect they deserve.
42
00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:11,165
(wolf howling)
43
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,630
(whooshes)
44
00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:17,129
Can't get everything
you want for Christmas.
45
00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:18,958
Or apparently, anything.
46
00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:20,791
Hey! A shooting star! Make a wish!
47
00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:23,463
-(all scoff)
-Ugh.
48
00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:28,130
Star light, star bright,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
49
00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:29,998
have the wish I wish tonight!
50
00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:33,252
A-Bomb: I wish for the perfect Christmas.
51
00:02:34,792 --> 00:02:36,082
A-Bomb: Greetings, true believers,
52
00:02:36,208 --> 00:02:39,668
and welcome to the
Hulk-Out Holiday Smash-Travaganza!
53
00:02:41,166 --> 00:02:44,036
Coming to you live from
the awesomely mega-mondo,
54
00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:45,455
Hulk Tower!
55
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,882
I know I speak for all in New York City
56
00:02:49,959 --> 00:02:55,749
when I wish a "happy holidays"
to the greatest superheroes in the world,
57
00:02:55,834 --> 00:03:00,674
the Incredible Hulk
and his awesome Agents of S.M.A.S.H.!
58
00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:02,960
(crowd cheering)
59
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:08,331
Thanks, JJ.
60
00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:11,077
And thanks to you at home
for making my little web show
61
00:03:11,166 --> 00:03:14,036
the most popular
and beloved series of all time.
62
00:03:15,709 --> 00:03:19,459
Wow! Sometimes I forget
how perfectly everything turned out.
63
00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:28,464
(theme music)
64
00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:34,459
You know, some of you may be wondering
65
00:03:34,542 --> 00:03:37,252
what your favorite Hulks do
when they're not out saving the world.
66
00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:41,207
-(imitates electric guitar)
-(Heavy metal music plays)
67
00:03:41,291 --> 00:03:43,671
Yours truly will be going on tour
with my band,
68
00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:45,920
and yes, the rumors are true.
69
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,630
I am dating superstar, actress, model,
and philanthropist,
70
00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:51,209
- Eliza Dushku.
-(wolf whistle)
71
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,420
Hey, Jen. You know,
we really should do a movie together.
72
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,420
Have your people call my people.
73
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,170
Besides her A-list acting career,
74
00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:01,381
somehow she found the time
to get her law degree,
75
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,168
and now she sits on the Supreme Court!
76
00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:05,381
I'm tough, but I'm fair.
77
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:07,670
(Skaar yells)
78
00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:09,290
(thuds, shatters)
79
00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:14,745
(laughs) Ladies and gents,
the reigning World Wrestling Champion,
80
00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:16,044
Skaar!
81
00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:20,918
Ooh, yeah! And wrestling not fake.
82
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,880
(doorbell chimes)
83
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,536
(softly) All clear.
84
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:30,167
I see the President of the United States
has finally arrived!
85
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:34,420
Sorry I'm late. Just flew back
from a ceremony in South Dakota.
86
00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:38,825
Aw, who's my red-nosed dinosaur?
87
00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:40,287
(purring)
88
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:45,166
It's nice that the world
has finally accepted the Hulks.
89
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,500
But I'm happy when my family's happy.
90
00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:51,712
As we light the yule log,
91
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,132
we celebrate
another holiday season together.
92
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:58,130
Merry Christmas, and a happy new year!
93
00:04:58,208 --> 00:04:59,288
(distant coughing)
94
00:04:59,417 --> 00:05:01,037
A-Bomb:
Something's coming down the chimney!
95
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:02,880
(A-Bomb panting)
96
00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:05,289
Awfully small for Santa Claus.
97
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:10,290
And Santa doesn't have a bushy tail.
98
00:05:10,417 --> 00:05:13,417
Hulks! I don't have time to explain,
but I need you to trust me!
99
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:14,960
Rocket: None of this is real!
100
00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:17,171
Hulk: Hey! The critter can talk!
101
00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:18,961
And you ain't listening.
102
00:05:19,041 --> 00:05:22,791
Rocket: You're all under the influence
of a holographic neural inducer.
103
00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,245
Shoo, talky fur ball!
104
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:28,331
Huh. Maybe I need to speak
a different language.
105
00:05:28,417 --> 00:05:29,997
Red Hulk: Whoa! Shots fired!
106
00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:32,423
That raccoon needs some Christmas spirit!
107
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,170
-Knock it off!
-Ow!
108
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,711
Not a raccoon. The name's Rocket.
109
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:40,167
Rocket Raccoon? Cool name!
110
00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:43,040
It's Rocket. Just Rocket.
111
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,285
I'm one of the Guardians of the Galaxy.
112
00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:47,955
Why would one
of the Guardians of the Galaxy
113
00:05:48,041 --> 00:05:49,131
be shooting at us?
114
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:52,708
I'm not! I'm trying to
save you hairless wonders!
115
00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:57,376
Whoa! What is that?
116
00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:01,578
Don't know,
but there's something familiar about it.
117
00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:03,167
Uh-oh. Here comes some more.
118
00:06:04,291 --> 00:06:05,921
(whooshing)
119
00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:07,922
Let 'em have it!
120
00:06:08,709 --> 00:06:10,289
(grunting)
121
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,173
I like your style, Legs.
122
00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:19,460
Sorry, Whiskers, you're not my type.
123
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:28,378
(grunt)
124
00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:32,458
Hey, Raccoon! These robots
seem awfully real to me.
125
00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:33,962
Hey, stop callin' me a raccoon!
126
00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:37,711
I'm an alien that just happens to look
exactly like an earth raccoon!
127
00:06:39,291 --> 00:06:42,291
So, the talking space raccoon is weird,
I grant you.
128
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:45,325
But, we're all celebrity superheroes,
the world loves us,
129
00:06:45,458 --> 00:06:47,458
we live in this swanky
New York skyscraper,
130
00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:49,332
my girlfriend is a movie star,
131
00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:51,207
how can any of this not be real?
132
00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:52,961
(Rocket scoffs) I'll show ya.
133
00:06:58,083 --> 00:06:59,463
What's happening?
134
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,710
Hulk: Holograms.
135
00:07:03,458 --> 00:07:06,708
So... We're not rich and famous?
136
00:07:06,792 --> 00:07:10,632
Aw, I was writin'
my state of the union speech!
137
00:07:10,709 --> 00:07:12,289
Wrestling fake.
138
00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:15,423
I've been working so hard
to make Hulk a hero.
139
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,290
I should have known
it was too good to be true.
140
00:07:17,417 --> 00:07:20,577
(growls) No one messes with my family!
141
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,665
Hulk smash!
142
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:28,633
A-Bomb: Yahoo!
143
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,379
Where are we?
144
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:33,040
Rocket: Some kind
of giant starship, I figure.
145
00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:35,285
You were abducted,
just like me and my team!
146
00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:37,575
And imprisoned in one of these holo-cells.
147
00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:39,167
Abducted by who?
148
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,785
I don't know. But that
central array up there,
149
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:43,625
reads and rewrites minds.
150
00:07:43,709 --> 00:07:46,749
Creates holograms of
everybody's greatest wish.
151
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:50,294
Whoever did it also thought
I was an earth raccoon.
152
00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:53,077
Put me in with all the other furry pets.
153
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:54,961
I was able to escape.
154
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:59,211
Man (on PA): An oversight I will correct.
I do hate not having a complete set.
155
00:08:02,709 --> 00:08:04,039
I'm back.
156
00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:07,923
The Collector.
157
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,130
And you Hulks have ruined my collection
158
00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:12,878
for the last time!
159
00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:16,168
(grunts)
160
00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:19,960
Guess you didn't collect enough bruises
last time you messed with us.
161
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:24,631
The past is irrelevant.
Now you will return to your displays.
162
00:08:24,709 --> 00:08:28,579
After all, I wouldn't
want you to get damaged.
163
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:31,127
Good thing he didn't
take away our accessories.
164
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:37,713
-Give 'em what for, Fuzzy!
-Smash 'em, Hulks!
165
00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:39,292
A-Bombs away!
166
00:08:40,792 --> 00:08:42,382
Walls could not contain you,
167
00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:45,958
so I put you in a world
where you'll always be content.
168
00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:49,001
A dream from which
you'll never want to wake.
169
00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:51,883
You will be prisoners
in my collection, forever.
170
00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:55,749
And never even know it.
The perfect revenge.
171
00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:59,212
Ugh! Now you're dreaming!
172
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,500
Now that you meatheads figured it out,
173
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,383
you got to help me bust out the Guardians.
174
00:09:05,041 --> 00:09:07,881
-Rocket: Stop a war.
-War? What war?
175
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:10,669
Between the Kree and the Shi'ar.
176
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,790
Two of the most powerful alien races.
177
00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:15,377
We were transporting the Orb of Truth,
178
00:09:15,458 --> 00:09:17,878
a symbol of universal trust, to a summit,
179
00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:20,209
when this Collector kidnapped us.
180
00:09:20,291 --> 00:09:22,081
There can be no peace without it.
181
00:09:22,166 --> 00:09:24,326
What's their war to us?
Hey, get off of me!
182
00:09:24,417 --> 00:09:26,077
We got to find a way to get home!
183
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:29,626
Your home is smack dab
in the middle of the two empires.
184
00:09:29,709 --> 00:09:32,749
If you don't care
about billions of Kree and Shi'ar,
185
00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:35,174
you may care about getting caught
in the crossfire.
186
00:09:36,083 --> 00:09:39,923
No. We'll help 'cause we care about
doing the right thing.
187
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,500
Okay, so which one of these cells
are your pals in?
188
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:45,043
I don't know, Legs,
but I bet we can find out on that console.
189
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:50,290
Get Ramjet Rodent up there.
We'll hold 'em off!
190
00:09:50,417 --> 00:09:51,707
Hang on, little buddy!
191
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,082
Thanks for the lift, Blue.
192
00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:55,286
But they don't call me "Rocket"
for nothing.
193
00:09:58,625 --> 00:10:01,495
(grunting)
194
00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:07,535
(A-Bomb groans)
195
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:11,674
What's so special about
the Guardians, anyway?
196
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:13,670
Here they are. See for yourself.
197
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:17,500
Rocket: You have a She-Hulk,
but is she as dangerous as Gamora,
198
00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:20,333
the most dangerous woman in the universe?
199
00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:23,997
Can any of you fight as ferociously
as Drax the Destroyer?
200
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,245
Or with the power of mighty Groot?
201
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:31,043
Or as bravely
as our courageous leader, Starlord?
202
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:33,285
I got it! Location of their cell. Come on!
203
00:10:33,417 --> 00:10:35,247
-(explodes)
-Rocket!
204
00:10:36,792 --> 00:10:38,792
I think he's okay.
It was just a stun blast.
205
00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:41,665
She-Hulk: That's that!
206
00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:43,957
So, who have we got to go free again?
207
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,035
(bubbling)
208
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:47,825
Lilandra: Guardians of the Galaxy.
209
00:10:47,917 --> 00:10:51,247
The Shi'ar and Kree people
are forever in your debt.
210
00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:56,075
Starlord, Gamora, Drax, Groot, and Rocket.
211
00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,206
We honor your bravery.
212
00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,831
Thank you, Queen Lilandra.
213
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,875
Hey, where is Rocket, anyway?
214
00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:08,325
Thanks to the Orb of Truth,
215
00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:12,035
our two empires have found a just
and lasting peace.
216
00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:13,535
(rumbling)
217
00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:15,875
Lilandra: Starlord! Are we under attack?
218
00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,995
Starlord: I'm gonna say, "Yes."
219
00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:20,793
Protect the Empress!
220
00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:24,499
Gamora: What have you done to Rocket?
221
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:26,753
They're trying to sabotage
the peace summit!
222
00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:29,254
Sabotage? No, we're here to rescue you!
223
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,132
(Hulk grunts)
224
00:11:34,458 --> 00:11:37,998
(grunting)
225
00:11:40,959 --> 00:11:43,749
-I am Groot.
-A-Bomb: A-Bomb. Nice to meet...
226
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,924
Whoa! I heard you the first time, Woody!
227
00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:54,378
They don't know they're in The Collector's
dream world. Don't hurt 'em!
228
00:11:54,458 --> 00:11:55,538
(grunting)
229
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:59,875
No promises! If it's him or me,
I choose me every time!
230
00:11:59,959 --> 00:12:02,079
Keep 'em busy.
I'll find the holo-projector.
231
00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:06,035
Not here!
232
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,384
Where is that stupid thing?
233
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:15,540
Hmm. Maybe there. Yeah.
234
00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:23,003
I looked everywhere else.
Gotta be up there. Worth a try.
235
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,130
I am Groot!
236
00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:28,133
Seriously, Bark-Face,
is that all you can say?
237
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,705
The Orb! What have you done?
238
00:12:41,792 --> 00:12:44,632
We just saved your sorry butts.
You're welcome.
239
00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:48,418
Fools! You have doomed the galaxy to war!
240
00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:51,827
Ease down, hoss.
We're all on the same side here.
241
00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:53,997
It's a trick. They're liars!
242
00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:55,503
Say that again.
243
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:58,825
(WHISTLING)
244
00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:02,877
Hulks, meet the Guardians of the Galaxy!
245
00:13:02,959 --> 00:13:05,829
(scoffs) Says the talking raccoon.
246
00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:07,997
(chuckling)
247
00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:10,578
I am Groot!
248
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,665
I know, buddy.
I told 'em not to use the "R" word.
249
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:15,287
Thank you for having my back.
250
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,333
(drone whirring)
251
00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:26,711
Now, robot enemies would attack us?
252
00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:30,044
Robots, alien Collector,
hologram memory wipes...
253
00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:31,415
Long story.
254
00:13:34,417 --> 00:13:38,707
This vessel is immense, but I think
I've finally got a fix on my ship.
255
00:13:38,792 --> 00:13:41,042
This Collector character
better not have hurt her.
256
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:42,745
It all seemed so real.
257
00:13:42,834 --> 00:13:44,924
Hmph. Finally getting some respect.
258
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,920
Should have been the first clue
we were getting taken for a ride.
259
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,420
We know the feeling.
260
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:53,210
Seriously, you call yourselves
"The Guardians of the Galaxy"?
261
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,291
What do you call your team?
262
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:57,285
The Agents of...
263
00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:58,625
...S.M.A.S.H.
264
00:13:58,709 --> 00:14:01,379
-Seriously?
-Trash talk later. Let's move.
265
00:14:04,250 --> 00:14:05,920
(gate whirring)
266
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,210
Rocket: There she is. Home, sweet home.
267
00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:11,171
And with any luck,
the real Orb of Peace is still on board!
268
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:13,750
No-one is going anywhere.
269
00:14:13,834 --> 00:14:17,294
Especially not with my new,
ultra-rare accessory.
270
00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:20,423
That isn't some trophy, you grabby geek.
271
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:22,130
If we don't get that Orb
to the peace summit,
272
00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:23,578
it'll mean galactic war!
273
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:26,037
Mmm, let me think about it...
274
00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:27,375
No.
275
00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:29,998
Good. Now we have an excuse.
276
00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:33,583
No. Let the Guardians take the Orb and go,
277
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:35,575
and we'll stay.
278
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,285
Uh, do we gotta?
279
00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:38,745
She-Hulk: It's what we do, Red.
280
00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:46,791
Oh. A touching sacrifice. Truly heroic.
281
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:49,495
But now that I have both sets of heroes,
282
00:14:49,583 --> 00:14:51,463
I won't part with either!
283
00:14:54,792 --> 00:14:58,252
What's happening? Can't move!
284
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:03,417
A-Bomb: Greetings, true believers,
285
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:07,130
and welcome
to the Hulk-Out Holiday Smash-Travaganza!
286
00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:10,415
Red Hulk: Hey, Jones.
Fire up the yule log already!
287
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,830
A-Bomb: Workin' on it, Red!
288
00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:18,378
Wait a minute.
Does this all feel familiar?
289
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:19,788
Like it happened before?
290
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:23,415
No. But you should
try The Leader's guacamole.
291
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,790
Oh. Mmm. It's delish!
292
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:29,251
Somethin' wrong, Greenie?
293
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:34,131
No. It's perfect. Just perfect.
294
00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:40,540
(doorbell rings)
295
00:15:45,458 --> 00:15:47,748
Hey, guys! Merry Christmas!
296
00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:51,884
Who, who is "Mary"? What is "Christ-mas"?
297
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,920
It's a day of celebration!
When families come together.
298
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,580
Families? Guess that leaves us out.
299
00:15:58,709 --> 00:16:00,999
Well, we were in the same boat,
300
00:16:01,083 --> 00:16:02,963
but now we have each other.
301
00:16:03,041 --> 00:16:04,331
Maybe you do, too.
302
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,463
Guardians don't have a family.
303
00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:13,832
Figured they could spend it with mine.
304
00:16:13,917 --> 00:16:16,627
That's what the holidays
are all about, right?
305
00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,170
I am Groot.
306
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,330
Uh, the tree is artificial.
307
00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,377
(all laugh)
308
00:16:24,125 --> 00:16:25,535
(whirring)
309
00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:27,205
(coughing)
310
00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:29,331
Hey, about time!
311
00:16:29,417 --> 00:16:31,537
You remember to bring the cranberry sauce?
312
00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:32,825
Right here.
313
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,668
Ah. Heard this was the custom,
314
00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:37,460
so I brought a little token too.
315
00:16:37,542 --> 00:16:39,542
Hey. Let me get that for you, Starlord.
316
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,710
You know, Lilandra
said the Orb brought peace.
317
00:16:44,792 --> 00:16:47,252
Because it could cut through
lies, deceit and illusion.
318
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:50,794
I can't remember the last time
I was this happy.
319
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:52,790
I can.
320
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,130
And I'm gonna put a stop to it.
321
00:16:57,542 --> 00:16:59,712
It's not here. He moved it!
322
00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:02,462
Moved what? Are you okay?
323
00:17:02,542 --> 00:17:04,332
It's fake! This is all fake!
324
00:17:04,417 --> 00:17:05,747
(scoffs) It's
325
00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,924
true that Christmas
is a little over-commercialized,
326
00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:09,421
but there's no need to be rude!
327
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,250
(Hulk scoffs) Hey.
328
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,383
Who brought the raccoon to dinner?
329
00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:16,125
You know very well that
I am not a raccoon.
330
00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:19,878
Aw, want some garbage, little raccoon?
331
00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:21,826
I am not a raccoon!
332
00:17:28,583 --> 00:17:29,833
Hulk: This is it.
333
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:35,210
(whirring)
334
00:17:36,792 --> 00:17:38,712
Man, we were in dreamland again.
335
00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:41,962
Now I remember everything! Humbug!
336
00:17:44,417 --> 00:17:47,037
I gave you the perfect life.
337
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,785
Why can't you just enjoy it?
338
00:17:49,875 --> 00:17:51,535
The real world's tough,
339
00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:54,075
but living in a fantasy
isn't really living.
340
00:17:54,166 --> 00:17:56,576
Collector: Since your minds
are so stubborn,
341
00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:59,497
I'll just have to erase them completely.
342
00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:03,004
But, at least you'll still look mint
on the outside.
343
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,751
That's the real Orb!
We've got to get it back!
344
00:18:06,834 --> 00:18:07,794
I hear you.
345
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:11,125
I don't usually play with my acquisitions,
346
00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,668
but you leave me little choice.
347
00:18:16,917 --> 00:18:18,827
A-Bomb: He's not kidding!
He's going to zap our minds!
348
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,916
Hulk: Don't let the brain beam hit you!
349
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,285
She-Hulk: Uh, what about all the probes?
350
00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:27,996
Keep 'em busy. I got an idea.
351
00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:29,205
Come on, Rocket.
352
00:18:33,959 --> 00:18:36,169
-Rocket: What's the plan, Blue?
-A-Bomb: Trust me!
353
00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:38,002
(crackling)
354
00:18:39,041 --> 00:18:40,501
Nice move!
355
00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:43,793
A little something
I picked up on Strontia 9.
356
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,292
Got that one from Wolverine.
357
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,960
I am Groot!
358
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:55,455
You said it, Timbertoes.
359
00:18:56,375 --> 00:18:59,035
Hey, you big creep. You can collect this.
360
00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:02,290
(groans)
361
00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:06,004
Hulk: Got the Orb. Let's go!
362
00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:10,380
If I can't have you in my collection,
363
00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:13,168
I am taking you out of circulation!
364
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:14,830
-A-Bomb: Hey, klepto!
-Huh?
365
00:19:17,959 --> 00:19:21,919
Fool! That won't work! This is my dream.
366
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,080
You need to wake up
and see the truth, jerk!
367
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,535
(yelling)
368
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:40,290
I see my truth now. I was being greedy.
369
00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:42,207
Wanted you all for myself.
370
00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:46,751
Yeah. You been naughty, Collector.
Now it's time to be nice.
371
00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:49,384
Return these aliens to their home worlds.
372
00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:52,578
Before Santa-Hulk
gives you a lump of coal.
373
00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:55,327
Yes. Yes, of course!
374
00:19:57,125 --> 00:19:59,825
-Here, Starlord.
-Thanks, Santa-Hulk.
375
00:20:00,625 --> 00:20:01,745
(chuckles)
376
00:20:05,208 --> 00:20:08,328
Lilandra: The empires of the Shi'ar
and Kree are grateful.
377
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:10,077
Guardians and Hulks,
378
00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:13,996
your heroism has saved
the lives of billions.
379
00:20:19,625 --> 00:20:21,995
(all cheer)
380
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:27,289
Well, at least one of us
got our Christmas miracle.
381
00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:30,205
That's right! It is Christmas!
382
00:20:30,291 --> 00:20:32,961
Hey, tonight you guys
are celebrating with us.
383
00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:33,961
Hulk-style!
384
00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:38,083
A-Bomb: It's the Hulk holiday special,
385
00:20:38,166 --> 00:20:39,626
featuring our special guests,
386
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:41,829
the Guardians of the Galaxy.
387
00:20:41,917 --> 00:20:45,037
Well, Vista Verde ain't the White House.
388
00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,745
(both grunting)
389
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:48,924
-Or Hulk Tower.
-But it's home.
390
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,670
Uh, yeah. Give me some more
of this eggnog stuff.
391
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,170
(panting)
392
00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:59,415
Oh, you have no idea how long
it's been since I've had a chili burger.
393
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:00,920
(cell phone chiming)
394
00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:03,629
A-Bomb: Oh-ho-ho! Check it out!
395
00:21:03,709 --> 00:21:05,579
I got an e-mail from Eliza Dushku!
396
00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:07,285
She's a fan of the show!
397
00:21:08,125 --> 00:21:10,285
Wait, wait, this is too good to be true.
398
00:21:10,375 --> 00:21:12,205
Are you sure we're not still on
The Collector's ship?
399
00:21:12,709 --> 00:21:15,879
No, Rick. This is the real thing.
400
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:20,999
Life is never perfect,
but having good friends can get you close.
401
00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:22,213
Hulk out.
402
00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:25,130
-all: Cheers!
-(laughing)
403
00:21:25,208 --> 00:21:27,878
From my family to yours, I fondly recite,
404
00:21:27,959 --> 00:21:31,789
merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night!
405
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,377
(closing theme music)