1
00:00:00,957 --> 00:00:03,568
- ♪ MTV

2
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:08,008
- Previously on "Younger..."

3
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,183
- I think it's time
that I actually buy

4
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:10,532
my own apartment
in New York City.

5
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:13,448
- Check out this
cutie-patootie crib I found.

6
00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:15,493
- Casting for
a real estate TV show.

7
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:17,539
Are you out of your mind?
- You won't believe the perks,

8
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:18,975
and this will be really good
for your brand.

9
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,543
- This is a show that I did
about trans women

10
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:24,198
on the Lower East Side.
[tablet dings]

11
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:26,113
- Uh, professor,
what do you call that one?

12
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,679
- That's called "My Wife."

13
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:30,726
Maybe you're not a good fit
here after all.

14
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,119
- What're you doing here?

15
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:35,035
- Just thought you might need
a friend right now.

16
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,041
[upbeat music]

17
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,564
- Thank you.
- I thought you guys

18
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:44,566
were perfect for each other,
what happened?

19
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,829
- Well, he wanted to get
married again,

20
00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:51,312
and I just didn't.
- Yeah, that's a fast proposal.

21
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:52,878
Must be an old guy thing.
You know,

22
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:55,098
no time to lose before they
head towards that light.

23
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:59,059
- [laughs]
No, he's just traditional.

24
00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:00,451
- Are you okay, Mom?

25
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:03,498
I mean, you really loved him,

26
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:04,934
and you still have to
work with him.

27
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,284
- It's fine, we're adults.

28
00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:08,590
I guess the only problem is--

29
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- Quinn Tyler.

30
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,596
Is that Quinn Tyler?
- Uhh--

31
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,686
Right.
Yep, that is Quinn Tyler.

32
00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:18,904
- Oh, my God.
Have you read her new book?

33
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:19,949
It's amazing.

34
00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:21,124
- Honey, we published it.

35
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,125
- Wait, so you know her?

36
00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:23,692
Like, she would know your face?

37
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,346
- She kinda would, yeah.
- Okay, then I gotta meet her.

38
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,957
She's my hero.
[laughs]

39
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,567
- Lady, your food!

40
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:34,137
- Quinn? Hi.

41
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:36,966
- Liza, hello. I thought
I smelled the food cart.

42
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What a stomach you must have.

43
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:40,970
- Um, I just--I wanted
to introduce you

44
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to my daughter,
this is Caitlin.

45
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,452
- Oh, my God, Miss Tyler,
I'm a huge fan.

46
00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:46,018
We all are up at school.

47
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:48,630
- Oh, that's so kind.
Where do you go, Smith?

48
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:51,154
Are you a legacy? Your mom
strikes me as a Smith girl.

49
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:52,764
I saw her wearing loafers once.

50
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,202
- Uh, no, I'm at Vassar.

51
00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:57,421
- Oh, I went to Vassar!

52
00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,467
Class of what does that matter?
[laughs]

53
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:01,556
What year are you?
- Senior.

54
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:03,514
- Oh, God, isn't it the worst?

55
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,734
You wanna go out in the world,
but you know this is the best

56
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:06,996
it's ever gonna be.

57
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:08,519
Ugh, I sobbed all the way

58
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:10,130
through our last
acapella concert.

59
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,740
- Wait you sang acapella?
Me too,

60
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,263
I'm in this group called
The Troublemakers.

61
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:14,743
- I'm a Troublemaker.
- No way.

62
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:17,441
- Yes way! Oh, my God!
[both laughing]

63
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,269
You know what
I actually carry around

64
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,184
is a pitch pipe. [laughs]
- Okay.

65
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,881
- Ready? [blows]

66
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,492
both: ♪ Ahh
- You take the harmony.

67
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:29,497
both: ♪ Ahh

68
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,760
♪ La, la, ooh, la, la

69
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:35,155
♪ Doo, doo, ah,
doo, doo, ah, da, doo ♪

70
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,765
♪ Shoop, shoo-bee,
doo-bee, doop ♪

71
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:38,854
♪ Shoo-bee, doo, ahh,
wah, dah, dah, doop ♪

72
00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:41,857
♪ How about you?

73
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:42,901
- Yay!

74
00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:48,342
both: ♪ How about you?

75
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,952
[both laugh]

76
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:52,346
- Do you still do a group hug
after every performance?

77
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:53,869
- Yes, we do.
- Okay, then get in here.

78
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:56,828
[both laugh]
Ohh.

79
00:02:56,872 --> 00:03:00,136
I'll see you at the foreign
rights auction meeting.

80
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,530
- Oh, wow.
She's incredible.

81
00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:04,358
- As in,
not to be believed, yes.

82
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,447
- Oh, I hate myself, I was
this close to asking her,

83
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,797
and I choked.
- Asking her about what?

84
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,626
- Mom, The Spirit of Vassar
Award--why I'm in town.

85
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,105
- I thought you had Jane Fonda.

86
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,759
- She got arrested again.

87
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,892
Can you ask her, Mom?
- Uhh--

88
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,241
- It's her alma mater,

89
00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:19,634
it's tomorrow,
and it'd be really good for me

90
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,984
because I'm the one
who pushed for Jane.

91
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,986
It's a code red, Mom.

92
00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:25,379
Please.

93
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:26,771
- ♪ You do you,
come on and try it ♪

94
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:29,687
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

95
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:31,254
♪ Come on and try it

96
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,561
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la

97
00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:34,953
♪ Come on and try it

98
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,390
- That sounds good to me.

99
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,218
London, you got that?
- Yes.

100
00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:40,524
- Berlin? [speaks German]
- Yeah.

101
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:41,786
- Sorry, what's that now?

102
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,266
- Fur dich.
It means "for you."

103
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:44,833
- Ah, okay,
I went a different way.

104
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,400
[laughter]
- That was impressive.

105
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:47,662
We don't usually
let our authors

106
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,011
handle the foreign rights
auction.

107
00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:51,883
- Oh, I know all these boys.
They owe me.

108
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,581
So if we're done--
- Um, actually,

109
00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,191
can I talk to you for a second?

110
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,889
- Ooh, that sounds ominous.
Should I be scouting the exits?

111
00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,457
- Yeah, I'm going to go, uh,
duck and cover. [laughs]

112
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:04,983
- No, it's not about us
or Charles.

113
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,855
- Look, I know this is
probably impossible

114
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,291
because
it's tomorrow night,

115
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,728
but my daughter wants me
to ask you if you'd be

116
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:13,078
willing to receive
the Spirit of Vassar Award.

117
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:15,298
- Tomorrow night?

118
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:16,778
Sounds like
somebody canceled.

119
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:21,522
- Right. Um--

120
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,437
I get it, it's fine.

121
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,395
Thank you
for being so nice to her.

122
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,310
- So, yeah, I'm available.

123
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:28,877
Tell her I'd be honored,
and then you can

124
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,313
just give me all the details,
right?

125
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,402
- Okay, but if you're saying
yes now

126
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:33,882
and you're going
to cancel tomorrow,

127
00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:36,450
it's my daughter, and it really
means a lot to her.

128
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,279
- Liza, when are you gonna
realize you can trust me?

129
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,846
I promise I'll be there.

130
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:43,500
- I didn't--

131
00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:45,459
[sighs]
Thank you.

132
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:48,897
- Onions, what would street
meat be without them?

133
00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:51,856
[upbeat music]

134
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:57,775
♪

135
00:04:57,819 --> 00:05:00,212
- Oh. Oh, Maggie.

136
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:02,345
Maggie. Maggie, Maggie, Maggie.
There you are.

137
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:05,000
- Cass, it's so great
to see you! [laughs]

138
00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:07,481
Um, you really shouldn't
be seeing this.

139
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:10,135
I was supposed to just go
leave it on your desk.

140
00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,486
It's a gift from you know who.

141
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,836
So we're all clear
for that trip to P-town?

142
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,534
- Ooh, we have to clear up
a little problem first.

143
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,667
- I thought we did.
- Not the boobs, the tweets.

144
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:21,973
Have you seen these?
- Well, I don't pay attention

145
00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:24,498
to the critics, I mean,
no true artist does.

146
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:25,890
- They're not critics.

147
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:28,719
They're students,
apparently, and quite angry.

148
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,113
You don't want effigies burning
in the quad.

149
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,202
Believe me, they make one of me
last year

150
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:34,421
over the tuition increase.

151
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,466
Not flattering,
I was in a plaid suit.

152
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,033
- I read one or two of them,

153
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,165
and they're completely
ridiculous.

154
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,645
I mean, inappropriate.

155
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,473
How am I inappropriate?

156
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:44,518
- You gotta be careful.

157
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,911
These kids are incredibly woke

158
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:49,871
and your work goes all the way
back to the '90s.

159
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:52,221
Just think, there could be
other skeletons in your closet.

160
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,049
And what about the Halloweens?

161
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:55,398
- Wh-what Halloweens?

162
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:58,096
- Maggie, there's been
a lot of Halloweens.

163
00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,533
Look, I'm your ally here,

164
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,361
but if the students
turn on you, I--

165
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,363
- It's one or two, tops.

166
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,016
Maybe they don't like Italians.

167
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,888
I'm the one
who should be angry.

168
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:10,152
- Uh-oh, I don't think
your clay is hard.

169
00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:12,720
- Oh, my God. This is the one
that I worked so hard on.

170
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:17,246
- Oh, and careful,
you could lose a ring up there.

171
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,117
- It happens. Am I right?

172
00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:22,120
[upbeat music]

173
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,384
♪

174
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:25,515
[laughter]
- Cheers.

175
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:28,649
- To Kelsey.
- Ah! Here we go.

176
00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:32,217
- Tonight,
Brett meets a new client,

177
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:34,132
young, successful, driven.

178
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:37,353
- That's me.
- With an agenda all her own.

179
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:38,920
- So exciting.

180
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:42,010
- This is the kitchen
with the view.

181
00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:46,188
I don't know.
- Oh, my God.

182
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:47,407
- Okay. At the end of this,

183
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:48,930
after they're all
too expensive,

184
00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:52,237
I kinda say, "I think I should
just give up."

185
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:55,240
It's so hard
seeing what you want so bad

186
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:58,418
and hearing him say,
"It can't happen."

187
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,202
Devastating.
- Oh, my God.

188
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:03,118
I have not felt this sad since
Meryl's scene in "Mamma Mia! 2"

189
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,033
when she comes back as a ghost
with good lighting.

190
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:06,817
- Yeah, it happens.

191
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,210
It's a professional hazard.

192
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,081
Clients get crushes on me.

193
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,823
They're coming off marriages
or relationships

194
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,956
and I'm the guy they lean on
to start their new life

195
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,653
and frankly,
I've got the shoulders for it.

196
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:19,569
But Kelsey? [laughs]
Oh, my.

197
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,919
She is taking it
to a new level.

198
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:24,356
- Oh.
- I mean, I felt her eyes

199
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:25,575
on me all afternoon.

200
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:27,316
- What?
[wolf whistle]

201
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,579
[slide whistle]

202
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,451
[spring boings]

203
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,802
- My God. Kelsey, look at you
looking at him,

204
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:36,673
you're giving him
full blow-up doll face.

205
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:38,545
- I was looking
at the backsplash.

206
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,460
That--that's my
tumbled granite face.

207
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,245
- What can I say? The place
is for sale, not me.

208
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,769
I just don't think
I've ever come across

209
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:48,206
a client this thirsty,

210
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:49,469
I mean, motivated.

211
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,949
She's comin' in hot.

212
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:55,823
- I can't believe this.
Lauren, this is your fault.

213
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,652
- No--it's-it's not that bad,
right guys?

214
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,697
- No.
- No, Kelsey come on.

215
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:03,004
You opened that closet, like,
really well.

216
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:06,181
- And I liked how you knew why
copper piping's important.

217
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:08,052
- Yeah.
- [scoffs]

218
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,490
You said this was gonna be
good for my brand.

219
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,709
Which is what now, exactly,
Lauren?

220
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:16,583
Some desperate, thirsty,
Manhattan bulge-hunter?

221
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,715
- Now that actually sounds like
a show.

222
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:22,458
[upbeat music]

223
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:26,114
- [sighs]

224
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:28,377
- ♪ Okay, okay

225
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:29,378
♪ I got the ball
straight from the jump ♪

226
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,553
♪ I got it all

227
00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:32,076
- Okay, well,
we're just very unhappy

228
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,948
with how you portrayed her.
- Unhappy, no.

229
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,602
You tell them
that I will sue.

230
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,125
Like, they cannot
air that again.

231
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:38,561
- Uh-huh, yes, she's here.
You know what?

232
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,128
And we're going to bow out.

233
00:08:40,258 --> 00:08:41,564
Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

234
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:44,393
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

235
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,873
Yes, I will tell her that.

236
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,352
Yeah, I remember.

237
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,832
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, I do.

238
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,181
Okay, I gotta go.
Bye bye.

239
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,140
- What? You remember what?

240
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,229
- Um--[clears throat]
Apparently I might have signed

241
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:55,926
a four-episode contract for you

242
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:58,102
while that cute guy
was wiring you for your mic.

243
00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,408
You know,
I didn't want to interrupt

244
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,365
a moment that might
be happening.

245
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:01,541
- What?

246
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,891
Lauren, wait, I can't quit.

247
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:07,155
- Uhh--
[straining]

248
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,287
Wait, you can be fired.

249
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,246
Yes, it's reality TV, right?

250
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,683
So they like crazy, and drunk,
and angry.

251
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,380
So you just be calm,
be reasonable.

252
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,165
Don't flip over a table or
poop on the floor in Mexico,

253
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:19,559
You know--just they'll move on
to the next crazy person.

254
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,082
- Hm, okay,
so that's your plan.

255
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:22,083
Just act dull.

256
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,128
- Kels, come on,
you can do this.

257
00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:26,914
Just be that girl you are
in the mornings,

258
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:29,090
when you start telling me
about your dreams.

259
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:32,180
♪

260
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,224
- [scoffs]

261
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:36,184
[upbeat music]

262
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:37,751
♪

263
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:40,884
[loungey piano music playing]

264
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:43,713
♪

265
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:46,150
- Oh, that's nice.

266
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:47,935
Charles is doing
the publisher thing

267
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:50,590
and walking in with his author.
[laughs]

268
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:58,598
Mom, are Quinn and Charles--

269
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:03,211
- Yes, they are dating buddies,

270
00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:05,126
and thus, naturally,

271
00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:06,780
he accompanies her
unto gatherings.

272
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:08,564
- She's his rebound?

273
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:10,958
Oh God,
you should have told me,

274
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:12,263
I never would've asked.
- Then you wouldn't have

275
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,570
saved the day, right?

276
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,572
And I wanted you
to save the day.

277
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:19,270
- I will try to hate her
a little for you,

278
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:20,620
but after tonight, okay?

279
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,839
- Don't hate her.

280
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:23,971
I don't even hate her.

281
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,537
- Come on Mom,
you're only human.

282
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:28,062
- Yeah, the human
who needs a drink.

283
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:30,151
[sighs] No.

284
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,675
I know it's only four months
until you're legal, but no.

285
00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:34,329
- Whatever.
Dad will get me one.

286
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,331
- Say what now?
- Dad!

287
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:40,988
He wanted to come.
I hope that's not a big deal.

288
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:43,773
- God, no.
What a super fun evening

289
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:44,948
this is turning out to be.

290
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:47,168
- I'll be right back.
- Hey, Liza.

291
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:48,865
You're looking well.

292
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:53,827
- You, too. I think one of
your gums is bleeding.

293
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,219
- Ooh, yeah, yeah.

294
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:56,786
That's been happening.
No big deal.

295
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:59,528
Uh, just--yeah.
[laughs]

296
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,357
Developing a teeth
whitening system,

297
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,925
so I dialed it up to 11.

298
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,448
- I didn't know you were
gonna be here.

299
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,364
- Well, I dumped enough money
into this place. [laughs]

300
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:12,019
Time to recoup with a little
free chicken dinner, right?

301
00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:14,195
- Yeah. One chicken dinner
ought to even you right up.

302
00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:15,805
- [laughs]

303
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:19,853
♪

304
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,985
- So this is
a classic pre-war five,

305
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,770
but actually built last year.

306
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,642
- So pre the next war?
- [chuckles]

307
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:29,993
- You look, uh,
I don't know, down.

308
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:34,868
- No, I don't talk when I look,

309
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:37,479
which may not make
very interesting

310
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:38,741
or compelling viewing,

311
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,439
which could result in
lower ratings,

312
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,703
but it's just me.

313
00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:45,705
- No, no, no,
you're tender today.

314
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,663
- No, not at all.

315
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,970
I'm just--

316
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,754
I know this building,

317
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:53,887
and there's nothing
under two million.

318
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,715
I threw a party
on the penthouse

319
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,238
for my company.
- Oh, and your company

320
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,501
is important to you,
isn't it, Kelsey?

321
00:11:59,631 --> 00:12:01,503
It's lonely at the top.

322
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,200
- I'm not lonely.

323
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,507
I'm extremely popular,
and you know what?

324
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:07,248
- What?
- No, no, no.

325
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,772
I'm not--I'm--
I'm fine, I'm fine.

326
00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:11,469
I'm not--not doing this.

327
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,777
- Well, I may not be able to
make all your dreams come true,

328
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,866
but how about
these bookshelves, huh?

329
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:19,956
Your love of books is one thing
I can satisfy.

330
00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:23,090
I mean, it's like it was made
for a, I don't know, say,

331
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,788
a young publishing exec
who sometimes curls up

332
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:27,921
with a novel
to nurse a broken heart.

333
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:30,314
- Oh, hang on.
- Oh my gosh.

334
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:31,925
That's one of
your books, right?

335
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:34,884
- Is this cut in half?
What the hell is this?

336
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,320
- It's genius, right?

337
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,801
I mean, you don't want
a big, old bookcase

338
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:39,976
eating up floor space.

339
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:43,719
Solution: faux.
- Okay, I'm done.

340
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:46,113
This whole show is insane.

341
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,245
You haven't shown me
one apartment I can afford

342
00:12:48,289 --> 00:12:50,465
and--and now this?
- Okay.

343
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,206
This is aspirational TV.

344
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,948
No one in America wants to see
what you can afford.

345
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:58,168
- You are just wasting my time.
- Bye.

346
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,823
And guys, he's wasting
your time, too.

347
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,651
- [mouthing]
- And just so you know,

348
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,305
America, I can do a lot better

349
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,786
than a guy
who talks about his cats,

350
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,875
and their many moods
in between takes.

351
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:11,486
And speaking of faux,

352
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,053
that's a sock in his pants.

353
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,359
Yeah, wardrobe told me.

354
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,709
- Starting to sound a lot like
hell hath no fury

355
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,668
like a wo--ow!

356
00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:20,843
- Cut.

357
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,976
♪

358
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,934
- Ugh!
- Kelsey.

359
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,328
Rob. Clare's ex.
How are you?

360
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:28,764
- Do you know what they're
doing in your building

361
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,462
on the 20th floor,
that TV show?

362
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,160
- I'm guessing
you're gonna tell me.

363
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:35,336
- That stupid reality show
where we're

364
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,642
supposed to pretend we're
gonna find our dream home,

365
00:13:37,686 --> 00:13:40,254
but instead they humiliate you
and won't let you quit.

366
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,125
- So you are one of
their clients.

367
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,997
I--I did not know that.

368
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,782
- So you're in on this?
- I work with them.

369
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,523
Yeah, and all
the big developers do.

370
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:50,307
We gotta
move these apartments.

371
00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:51,874
- Unbelievable.

372
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,658
Well, you know what?
Next time you try to sell

373
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,182
an apartment to a publisher,

374
00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:58,315
don't line the walls
with decapitated books.

375
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,622
[chuckles]
No wonder Clare dumped you.

376
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:03,625
[upbeat music]

377
00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:06,367
♪

378
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:08,195
- For me, the real spirit
of Vassar

379
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,066
is in the young people
it educates.

380
00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:12,199
Now, I've met some of them
tonight,

381
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,244
and there's one young lady
in particular

382
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:16,725
who is in perfect tune
with our cherished alma mater,

383
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,466
and I wanna thank her.

384
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:19,684
I want to thank all of you.

385
00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,382
Now I have a dessert to finish.

386
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,036
Good night, everybody.
[applause]

387
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,342
- Wow. Hot millionaire.

388
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,214
Respect, man.

389
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,350
- Was that shout out for me?

390
00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,526
- Yeah.
- Thank you for that

391
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:37,398
and for this--
really, thank you so much.

392
00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,095
- Aw, anything
for a Troublemaker.

393
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:44,666
- Speaking of teeth, how's
your relationship with yours?

394
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:46,842
- Cordial.
- 'Cause I'm launching

395
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,235
a teeth whitening company.

396
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:49,889
Right now, we're just
kinda putting together

397
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:53,414
the synergy, the vertical
integration, and the metrics.

398
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,546
- The metrics.
- I'd love to explain it all

399
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:58,114
to you, walk you through
my vision for America's mouth.

400
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,380
- You know,
the healthcare segment

401
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:05,992
is one of the certainties
of our time.

402
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,776
So take this card.

403
00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:10,735
She's the head of my VC firm.

404
00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:13,216
Venture capital firm.
- Mm.

405
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:16,089
- She might be able to smooth
out your learning curve.

406
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:17,786
- Or vice versa.
I'm always very happy

407
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,222
to share my expertise.

408
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,225
- Thank you.

409
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:27,187
[indistinct chatter]

410
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:33,628
both: Hey.

411
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:36,805
- I just--I just wanted
to say thank you.

412
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:40,940
- Aw.
- And I don't know, I just--

413
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,464
I wish I understood you better.

414
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:45,379
- Hell, I know.

415
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:46,728
I've written
two books about me,

416
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:48,425
and I can tell you,
bitch is unpredictable.

417
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:51,298
[both chuckle]
- No, I'm serious.

418
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:53,126
I wanna think
that you've changed

419
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:54,954
and Charles obviously does,

420
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:57,478
but you kinda built
a trap for me

421
00:15:57,521 --> 00:16:00,785
the night of your book launch,
and I fell into it.

422
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:04,441
Are you that person
or this one?

423
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,226
- [scoffs]
You need to remember that

424
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:08,619
you were digging for dirt on me
in order to get between

425
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:11,100
me and Charles,
so I had to play rough.

426
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:13,146
I knew it didn't look great,
but when it comes to him,

427
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:15,148
I'd rather save my ass
than my face.

428
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,586
Doesn't he deserve that?

429
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,022
- Yes.

430
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,503
- Look, you may not know me,

431
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,853
but I know who you are.

432
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,856
You're Maria von Trapp,

433
00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,946
you're sweetness and light,
and pillow fights and guitars,

434
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:32,600
and I am just not that.

435
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:36,125
Whether I like it or not,
I'm the baroness.

436
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,040
Nobody roots for the baroness.

437
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:44,177
But what they always forget is
the baroness loved the Captain.

438
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,440
She loved him very much.

439
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:50,009
Good night, Liza.

440
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:53,012
[somber music]

441
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:59,714
♪

442
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:07,026
♪

443
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,375
- Hi.
- Hey.

444
00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:10,072
Funny thing,
I meant to tell you

445
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:12,770
that I had breakfast
with Dylan Park

446
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,207
at Marlow and Sons
the other day.

447
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,557
- Oh, how did she
like your notes?

448
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:18,907
- Good. Great. Yeah.

449
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,039
But as we were leaving,

450
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:22,171
we ran into Lottie
from "Vulture,"

451
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:25,870
and I pitched a piece
about Inkubator for their site.

452
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,263
I thought,
let 'em run a sidebar

453
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:30,266
or a chapter of Dylan's book.

454
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:33,226
Dylan was fine with it
if we are--anything we want.

455
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,445
- Huh.

456
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:36,968
I mean,
I think that could work.

457
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,448
- Ohh, thank God,

458
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:41,234
'cause Lottie kinda
jumped the gun

459
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:45,064
and it dropped today,
a half-hour ago.

460
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:47,588
- What? Oh, my God.
- I know.

461
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:50,069
But read the comments.
They love it.

462
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,461
Lottie says it's already

463
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,333
driving a lot of traffic
to the site.

464
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,465
She wants another chapter.
Are you mad?

465
00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:58,164
- Oh, my God.

466
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:01,254
They love it.
Oh, my God!

467
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:03,299
Our little Inkubator
is taking off.

468
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,605
- I know.

469
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:07,825
[upbeat music]

470
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,523
- Oh my God,
can you stop these?

471
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,481
- Whoa.
What are you talking about?

472
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,701
- Look at these tweets.
I've read nicer things about me

473
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:15,529
on the wall of the men's room
in high school.

474
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:16,921
I mean, at least
they were more accurate.

475
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,009
- Wait, trans-phobic?

476
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,446
You're not trans-phobic.

477
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:22,101
- No, no, but I guess
I triggered some students

478
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,624
when I mentioned my old show,

479
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,582
you know, "Gypsies, Trannies,
and Thieves."

480
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:26,670
- Uhh--

481
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:28,281
Did you use air quotes,
at least?

482
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,544
- I know, I know. But it's what
we used to call each other

483
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:31,545
back in the day.

484
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:32,676
- I mean, technically, we don't

485
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,635
say gypsy anymore, either.

486
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,506
It's Romani or traveller.

487
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,726
But, hey, thieves
is still okay, though.

488
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,380
- You know, that's my problem.
I've never been

489
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:42,643
a tiptoe person, but, you know,
thank God, 'cause that show

490
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:45,385
put me on the map.
- It's not adult ed, is it?

491
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:46,734
- No.
- All right, 'cause if

492
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:48,823
you're teaching a bunch
of college students,

493
00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:50,564
I don't think these tweets
came from them.

494
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:53,567
- How can you tell?
- You got Twitter for desktop,

495
00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:56,570
um, this quote
from Leslie Stahl,

496
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,790
and the lingo--
who says, razzamatazz?

497
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:02,445
[laughs] If you ask me,
you made one real enemy,

498
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,491
and they're definitely too old
to be a student.

499
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:08,277
- [sighs] Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

500
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:09,974
Thank you.
Give me this.

501
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,106
Thank you.
Oh, my God.

502
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:12,760
I gotta go.
I'll call you later.

503
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,936
- Okay.

504
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:17,068
Razzamatazz.

505
00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:21,290
♪

506
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:22,639
- Can I have a word with you,
Dean?

507
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,163
- Yes, come in. Listen,

508
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,165
I'm afraid the situation
is going sideways.

509
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:27,296
We've had more tweets.

510
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:30,560
- Ooh, your poor
little fingers.

511
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:34,042
It must be really hard
typing razzamatazz.

512
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,913
So many Z's.

513
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,263
- I'm sorry.
I don't understand.

514
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:38,916
- I know it was you.

515
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,528
"Groovy," "right on"

516
00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:43,704
and a quote
from Billie Jean King.

517
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,532
This was all you.

518
00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:47,534
You set me up,

519
00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,405
because you didn't believe me
about Kamila.

520
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,494
- Of course
I don't believe you.

521
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,975
She gave me a bust of herself
last Christmas.

522
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:55,846
Why would she give me
another one?

523
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:59,894
You pressured her, to send you
photos of her bosom.

524
00:20:00,024 --> 00:20:03,202
And worse than that,
you are damaging these kids

525
00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:04,942
with your antiquated views.

526
00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:07,510
- [chuckles]
Me? Antiquated?

527
00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:10,731
You wear rouge and told me
to pack my valise

528
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,733
for Provincetown.
- Well, guess what?

529
00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:15,083
You can unpack it,
'cause you're fired.

530
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,737
You brought this on yourself.

531
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:19,218
And I don't blame Kamila,
poor thing, she's vulnerable,

532
00:20:19,261 --> 00:20:20,567
she's struggling,
you took advantage,

533
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,395
she's trying to overcome
her sexual blocks.

534
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,092
- Oh, she overcomes all right,

535
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,094
like the flume ride
at Coney Island,

536
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,574
like a broken shower head,

537
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:30,533
like an open fire hydrant
in a hot city street.

538
00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:32,231
- Get out!
- No. You know what?

539
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,623
Not without my clay tits.

540
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:36,583
Oh, excuse me--
my clay bosom.

541
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,107
Ciao.

542
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,894
[cell phone buzzing]

543
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:48,725
- Kelsey?

544
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:52,468
- I meant to decline,
I'm sorry. Bye

545
00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:54,209
- Hang on, hang on.

546
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,776
I just wanted to let you know
that you are out of the show,

547
00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:57,256
and they've agreed not to
run your episode.

548
00:20:57,386 --> 00:20:59,649
- Are you serious?

549
00:20:59,780 --> 00:21:01,172
How did that happen?

550
00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:03,784
- Eight of the next ten
locations are in my buildings.

551
00:21:03,914 --> 00:21:05,046
I call it leverage,

552
00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:06,134
I think they
call it blackmail,

553
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,832
Potato, potahto.
- Well, thank you.

554
00:21:08,963 --> 00:21:11,400
- You're welcome.
- And I learned my lesson here,

555
00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:14,011
you know,
reality is not my friend.

556
00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:15,491
- I learned a lesson, too.

557
00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:16,971
Next time I stage an apartment,

558
00:21:17,014 --> 00:21:18,451
I'm gonna use real books.

559
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,409
- [laughs]
- I was thinking maybe

560
00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:21,845
you could help me
pick some out.

561
00:21:21,976 --> 00:21:25,458
- You want books, Rob,
I will send you a list,

562
00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:28,678
along with a link to a little
trade secret we call Amazon.

563
00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:30,463
- Hey, I live on Amazon,

564
00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:31,768
but I was thinking of maybe

565
00:21:31,812 --> 00:21:34,031
supporting a nice
independent bookstore.

566
00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:36,251
I recycle, got bamboo sheets,

567
00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:37,731
I'm pretty left-wing
for a money-hungry

568
00:21:37,861 --> 00:21:40,560
real estate developer,
if you grade on a curve.

569
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:42,344
- There is literally nothing
you could say

570
00:21:42,388 --> 00:21:45,304
that would persuade me to get
within five feet

571
00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:47,218
of someone in Manhattan
real estate.

572
00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:48,655
- I've got two things.

573
00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:50,613
One: no cameras.

574
00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:54,008
And two: I will only buy
Empirical books. No, uh--

575
00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:56,924
Not Empirical,
Millennial books.

576
00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:59,361
I'd like to be loyal
to the classic brands.

577
00:21:59,492 --> 00:22:02,277
- [sighs] Meet me
at Little Shop, 7:00 p.m.

578
00:22:02,408 --> 00:22:07,717
♪

579
00:22:09,806 --> 00:22:11,417
- Hi.

580
00:22:11,547 --> 00:22:13,070
- Lauren wanted
some promo copies.

581
00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:14,855
I can't believe the sales.

582
00:22:14,898 --> 00:22:16,596
And no daggers this time.

583
00:22:16,726 --> 00:22:18,380
- I just got off the phone
with Caitlin.

584
00:22:18,511 --> 00:22:20,077
She said you arranged
an internship

585
00:22:20,208 --> 00:22:23,385
for her this summer
with Mind Palace podcasts.

586
00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:25,039
- It's my pleasure.
When you're a soprano,

587
00:22:25,082 --> 00:22:26,214
you have to love your altos.

588
00:22:26,257 --> 00:22:27,911
They're the frame.
- [laughs]

589
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:29,130
- And she's a great kid.

590
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:31,262
I'm assuming
mostly thanks to you.

591
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:32,786
- David's not so bad.

592
00:22:32,916 --> 00:22:35,092
Not to her, anyway.
- [laughs]

593
00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:36,790
- I had a David--
a Harry actually.

594
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,096
But I got rid of him as soon as
I figured that out.

595
00:22:39,227 --> 00:22:41,447
- Harry?
He's not in your books.

596
00:22:41,577 --> 00:22:43,884
- Not my happiest memory.

597
00:22:43,927 --> 00:22:45,581
God, I thought
I was so smart bailing early,

598
00:22:45,712 --> 00:22:46,887
but maybe you was smarter.

599
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:48,715
You stayed, you did
the marriage thing,

600
00:22:48,758 --> 00:22:50,717
and you got Caitlin
out of the deal.

601
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:55,243
I do a lot of deals,
but I don't have a Caitlin.

602
00:22:55,286 --> 00:22:57,419
Probably never will.

603
00:22:57,463 --> 00:22:59,029
- Quinn--
- Of course, not going

604
00:22:59,073 --> 00:23:02,293
through childbirth
has certain compensations.

605
00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,078
Everything down here
is exactly the way

606
00:23:04,208 --> 00:23:06,036
God and my waxer Fabian
made me.

607
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,298
- Hmm.

608
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:09,213
- See, don't worry,

609
00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:11,390
I'm still me.

610
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:13,348
See you later.

611
00:23:13,479 --> 00:23:20,529
♪

612
00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:29,930
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh
just wait till I go ♪

613
00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:33,194
- Oh, this is enough
for ten bookshelves,

614
00:23:33,324 --> 00:23:34,413
20 if I cut 'em in half.

615
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:37,328
- Ha, ha.
- [laughs]

616
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:40,375
- Okay, well, it was fun.

617
00:23:40,506 --> 00:23:41,898
My train's on the corner.

618
00:23:42,029 --> 00:23:44,031
- Oh, no, no, Freddie can take
you anywhere you want.

619
00:23:44,161 --> 00:23:48,514
Home or maybe dinner
with a friendly book lover.

620
00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:49,558
- You dated Clare.

621
00:23:49,602 --> 00:23:51,255
- We broke up last month.

622
00:23:51,299 --> 00:23:53,693
- Oh, wow, a whole 30 days.

623
00:23:53,823 --> 00:23:56,173
- Are you even close
with Clare?

624
00:23:56,304 --> 00:24:00,308
What's her last name?
- Uhh, something Irish?

625
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,266
O'Something--
McSomething.

626
00:24:02,310 --> 00:24:03,746
- Oh, nope.
- [laughs]

627
00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:06,488
- Yeah, that's what I thought.

628
00:24:06,619 --> 00:24:08,403
What if I call you tomorrow?

629
00:24:08,534 --> 00:24:11,275
Is 31 the magic number,
or is it day 41?

630
00:24:11,319 --> 00:24:13,495
I can count really high.

631
00:24:13,626 --> 00:24:15,454
- It's a hard pass.

632
00:24:15,584 --> 00:24:17,934
Thank you, though,
and my authors,

633
00:24:17,978 --> 00:24:20,197
they thank you, too.

634
00:24:20,328 --> 00:24:21,982
- Tell them they're welcome.

635
00:24:22,025 --> 00:24:24,637
♪

636
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,465
- Okay. Well, good night.

637
00:24:28,945 --> 00:24:32,035
- O'Reilly!
Clare O'Reilly.

638
00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:33,994
- O'Brien.

639
00:24:34,037 --> 00:24:35,778
Good night, Kelsey.

640
00:24:35,822 --> 00:24:39,042
♪

641
00:24:42,916 --> 00:24:43,830
[upbeat music]

642
00:24:43,873 --> 00:24:45,962
- ♪ One, two, whoo

643
00:24:46,006 --> 00:24:48,748
- It's probably a good thing.
You're an artist.

644
00:24:48,878 --> 00:24:51,011
And the whole teaching thing
might have become

645
00:24:51,141 --> 00:24:52,273
this great distraction.

646
00:24:52,403 --> 00:24:53,579
- Yeah, you know what they say,

647
00:24:53,709 --> 00:24:55,406
those who can't do teach,
right?

648
00:24:55,537 --> 00:24:57,757
- Yeah, and those who do
the Dean's wife, can't.

649
00:24:57,887 --> 00:24:59,236
- [laughs]
- You know, you're right

650
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,630
and this show is who I am,
I can't wait to see--

651
00:25:03,589 --> 00:25:05,634
Hey, what are you doing
with that sign?

652
00:25:05,678 --> 00:25:06,983
- Maggy Amato's
been canceled.

653
00:25:07,027 --> 00:25:08,419
- No, you mean postponed.

654
00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:09,899
- No, canceled.

655
00:25:10,030 --> 00:25:12,902
Not just the show,
the person--she's canceled.

656
00:25:13,033 --> 00:25:14,208
Have you read what they've
been saying about her

657
00:25:14,251 --> 00:25:16,123
on Twitter?

658
00:25:16,253 --> 00:25:18,342
Who are you?

659
00:25:18,386 --> 00:25:19,561
- Nobody, I guess.

660
00:25:19,605 --> 00:25:20,475
- ♪ I'm off the radar

661
00:25:20,606 --> 00:25:23,870
♪

662
00:25:27,830 --> 00:25:30,441
- Who would we be working with?
- Both of us.

663
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:32,400
- It'll be a double date.
- Ha.

664
00:25:32,443 --> 00:25:34,533
- Liza, this is really good.

665
00:25:34,663 --> 00:25:37,536
[upbeat music]

666
00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:38,537
- He proposed?

667
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:40,495
[both laugh]

668
00:25:42,105 --> 00:25:45,282
- I'm not really looking for
a complicated dating situation.

669
00:25:45,413 --> 00:25:46,849
- Clare and I
ended things amicably.

670
00:25:46,893 --> 00:25:49,417
- And have you asked Clare
how she feels about that?

671
00:25:49,460 --> 00:25:51,419
- Well, it's never too late
to be what you might have been.

672
00:25:51,462 --> 00:25:53,464
- You believe that's true?

673
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:55,554
- I should've seen this coming.

674
00:25:59,035 --> 00:26:05,738
♪


