1 00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:11,060 Thank you. 2 00:02:53,670 --> 00:02:55,010 There you are. 3 00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:59,130 A great picture. One of the worst I've ever seen. 4 00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:00,550 Yeah, sensational. 5 00:03:01,070 --> 00:03:06,750 I don't know when I've seen such lousy acting or more phony scenery. 6 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,830 Yeah, but the color was good though. Oh, the color, yeah. 7 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,120 From about here down to here on some of those girls. 8 00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:20,100 Boy, you know, Bob, I bet you and I have seen every girly picture that's ever 9 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,100 been made. 10 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,040 It's hard to tell which was the worst. 11 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:28,600 Yeah. How about that science fiction epic where the guys take off for the 12 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,440 Mars and when they get there, they find all those girls with nothing on. 13 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,800 You'd have to go to Mars to find girls that ugly. 14 00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:37,380 Say, you know, Bob, 15 00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:40,940 I bet the guys who make those movies make millions. 16 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,520 Of what? 17 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:48,060 Dollars. Oh, those dollars. 18 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,380 And I'll bet there's some nice fringe benefits, too. 19 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,720 I'll bet there's girls falling all over themselves just to get in one of those 20 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:01,560 pictures. Yeah, the girls we saw tonight were falling all over themselves, all 21 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,560 right. 22 00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:07,260 You know, Bob, I bet we can make a movie as good as that. 23 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,040 Or as bad. 24 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,400 I guess we could. 25 00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:16,440 Hey, why don't we? 26 00:04:17,019 --> 00:04:20,320 Well, for one reason, we don't have the money. 27 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:24,360 And for another reason, we don't know how to make a movie. 28 00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:26,560 Oh, what can it cost? 29 00:04:27,060 --> 00:04:28,080 We'll rent everything. 30 00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:29,920 Including the girls? 31 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,360 Sure, you want to buy one? 32 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,960 For the other reason, nobody else in this business can make a good picture 33 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,240 either. You know, Al, I think you're serious. 34 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,100 Well, of course I'm serious. 35 00:04:43,540 --> 00:04:44,620 We could do it. 36 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:49,760 Look, the posters are more important than the picture anyway. That's what 37 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:50,860 the people into the theaters. 38 00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:53,020 You're in the advertising business. 39 00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:54,560 You could design one of them. 40 00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:57,180 Yeah, I guess I could. 41 00:04:57,660 --> 00:05:01,060 But I'm not exactly familiar with that kind of advertising. 42 00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:06,280 You know, I write soft -sell copy for yummy dog crunchies. 43 00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:12,080 Yummy will keep your puppy's mummy from getting gummy. 44 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:14,520 Well, it's almost the same thing. 45 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,420 You can direct that picture. 46 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:18,900 What'll you be? 47 00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:21,340 I'll be the makeup man. 48 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,700 I'll be the producer, and we'll split everything, of course. 49 00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:28,500 Everything? 50 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:31,280 Everything. 51 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,240 Oh, yes, yes. 52 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,320 I'd like to know how much it costs to rent a camera per day. 53 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,240 Yes, that's right. 54 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,100 How much? 55 00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:48,860 Hello? 56 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,120 Acme Talent Agency? 57 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,560 I want to hire some girls to be in a movie. 58 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:59,200 Well, it's a sort of a, you know, a movie. 59 00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,900 Costumes? Oh, they won't need any costumes. 60 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:06,640 Hello? 61 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:08,480 Hello? 62 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:13,760 Yes, I'd like to know how much it costs for a color film. 63 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,080 How much? 64 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,680 How about black and white? 65 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,040 Yes, girls. 66 00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:22,740 What do you mean, why do I want girls? 67 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:24,560 Everybody wants girls. 68 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,000 Well, you see, we're making a movie in it. 69 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,840 MGM? Who's that? 70 00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:33,260 Maury's Grocery Market? 71 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,440 Hello? 72 00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:44,820 Well, yes, you see, we only need the place for a weekend or two, and you say 73 00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:45,960 it's absolutely private? 74 00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:48,220 Uh -huh. 75 00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:50,620 How much? 76 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,360 Is this Miss Cochon? 77 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:57,500 Well, look, Louie told me to call you. 78 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,020 He's the bartender over at the Golden Arm. 79 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,860 Yeah, Louie. 80 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,760 What? 81 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,229 Well, no. 82 00:07:09,230 --> 00:07:10,510 I don't want to do that. 83 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,350 I just want to make movies of you. 84 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:15,830 Hello? 85 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,470 Hello? 86 00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:21,650 Hello? But can we ticker just a little? 87 00:07:22,190 --> 00:07:23,190 Hello? 88 00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:25,550 Hello? 89 00:07:26,430 --> 00:07:27,670 Here we go again. 90 00:07:28,110 --> 00:07:29,110 How much? 91 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,570 Hello? How much? Hello? 92 00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:35,990 Do you think it could be a bad connection? 93 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,720 to cost more money than we figured. 94 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:44,960 Yeah. 95 00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:46,680 But how about girls? 96 00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:50,220 That's why we went into this thing in the first place, remember? 97 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,780 Al, we got no girls. 98 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,540 Yeah, yeah, I know. 99 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:56,860 But there's always Audrey. 100 00:07:57,180 --> 00:08:00,120 She's coming up to your office tomorrow to show you some pictures or something. 101 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,600 But I'm not going to be in my office tomorrow. 102 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,360 And who's Audrey? 103 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,360 Oh, she's a gal Harry told me about. 104 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,960 From what I understand, she'll do anything for money. 105 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,680 And she's not bashful either. So when she comes up, take a look at her. If she 106 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,980 looks all right, so hire her. 107 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,700 But I told you that... Mr. Robert Stevens isn't in the office. 108 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:22,180 He's with a client. 109 00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:25,220 Yeah. I know how it is, sweetie. 110 00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:27,000 I was up late with a client myself. 111 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,000 Well, is there any message? 112 00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:33,780 Well, sweetie, he wants some pictures. 113 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,419 But I sold them all. 114 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,580 I mean, I ain't got any. 115 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,780 So you take a look and tell him for the best, okay? 116 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,380 Well, I guess it'll be all right. 117 00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:45,660 Look at what? 118 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,360 Excuse me. 119 00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:49,940 Hello? 120 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,660 Oh, hello, Mr. Crothers. 121 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,320 Yes, sir, we do. 122 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,160 Yes, sir, we have it all ready for you. 123 00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,220 Oh, yes, sir. 124 00:08:58,540 --> 00:08:59,760 All 20 pages. 125 00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:02,760 Oh, Mr. Stevens did it all himself. 126 00:09:03,780 --> 00:09:06,240 Well, he thinks you'll be very pleased with it, sir. 127 00:09:07,099 --> 00:09:10,440 Oh, yes. Well, he'll be back in the office around four o 'clock. 128 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,300 Uh -huh. 129 00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:14,880 Oh, I surely will tell him, sir. 130 00:09:15,660 --> 00:09:19,580 Yes, sir. Yes, indeed, Mr. Crutters. We'll have it over for you at four o 131 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:22,020 'clock. Oh, I'm sure you'll be pleased. 132 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,520 Yes. 133 00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:29,620 Gee whiz, kid. 134 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,180 Say, that's good. 135 00:10:05,290 --> 00:10:10,790 Miss Johnson, I'm really very grateful to you for the fact that you didn't tell 136 00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:15,150 Mr. Carruthers about the young lady who came in this morning and asked for me. 137 00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:19,950 Well, it did startle me, Mr. Stevens, but when I brought him back to the 138 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:24,270 reception desk, she was gone, and I thought it best not to say anything. 139 00:10:26,350 --> 00:10:27,490 Mr. Stevens? 140 00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:29,710 Yes, Miss Johnson? 141 00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,490 Well, it's none of my business. 142 00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:33,770 Yes, I know. 143 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,800 You would like to know what she was doing here, wouldn't you? 144 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,840 Well, it was sort of peculiar. 145 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:47,260 Well, Miss Johnson, I, um... That is, we, Al Harding and I, 146 00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:50,760 are, um... Is it about that movie you're planning? 147 00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:53,320 Movie? How did you know about that? 148 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:58,100 Well, I figured it from the notes on your desk. 149 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:03,360 But my best clue was when you handed me this layout for Yummy Dog Crunchies. 150 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,470 Did I do that? 151 00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:08,430 You must have been daydreaming. 152 00:11:09,390 --> 00:11:15,470 Miss Johnson, you didn't happen to... Oh, no, I didn't show it to Mr. 153 00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:19,270 Mr. Stevens. 154 00:11:20,170 --> 00:11:21,270 Yes, Miss Johnson? 155 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,130 I think you can do better than that girl. 156 00:11:26,950 --> 00:11:27,950 I can? 157 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,590 Well, she did have big eyes. 158 00:11:33,030 --> 00:11:36,360 But I... I think you could get a girl with more class. 159 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:38,440 You do? 160 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:46,320 It seems to me that a man like you could do much better, 161 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,820 especially for a movie. 162 00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:53,840 And you might find that the very best girls are right under your eyes. 163 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,400 They are? 164 00:11:55,940 --> 00:12:02,660 And it makes it so much easier when the girl really likes the producer. 165 00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:04,740 Miss Johnson? 166 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,200 Francine? Yes, Mr. Stevens? 167 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:14,260 Could you... Would you be insulted if... Would I be in your movie? 168 00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:17,700 Oh, Mr. Stevens, I'd love to. 169 00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:20,540 It's the least I can do. 170 00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:27,220 I wonder what the most she can do is. 171 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,440 Okay, guess where do you want it? 172 00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:56,900 Miss, Audrey, you don't have to do that yet. The cameraman isn't here yet. 173 00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:02,840 Well, you pay for a whole day, and I believe in giving a man his money's 174 00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:05,960 Yeah, I can see that. 175 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,980 Al, where's the bra? I mean, where's the cameraman? 176 00:16:12,060 --> 00:16:13,380 Well, he's not here yet. 177 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,340 Hey, who is this fellow Schmertz, anyway? 178 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:21,740 Oh, Schmertz? Oh, well, you know, when I was down buying film, I met him there, 179 00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:24,600 and he said he'd been in the film business in Hollywood. 180 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,420 Well, I hope he's a good one, because we got a lot riding on this film. 181 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,280 You have a lot of writing? 182 00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:32,220 Hey, wait a minute. 183 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,800 How many of you guys are there, anyway? 184 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:39,360 Well, there's Bob, and there's... Huh? 185 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,360 Mr. Stevens? 186 00:16:42,030 --> 00:16:45,170 Why don't you let me show you the view over this way? 187 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:48,790 I'm sure you'll find the scenery much nicer. 188 00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:52,850 Hey, Bob. 189 00:16:53,030 --> 00:16:54,370 Bob, here comes Schmertz now. 190 00:17:46,510 --> 00:17:47,510 I'm Schmertz. 191 00:17:48,310 --> 00:17:49,310 Gesundheit. 192 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:53,730 Okay, everyone. Now that Schmertz is here, we can all get started. 193 00:17:54,010 --> 00:17:56,990 Now we'll make the first take right over here. 194 00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:14,390 It's all right. We shoot right here. 195 00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:20,300 Look, Schmertz, I'm the director, and I say we shoot here. 196 00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:25,200 Well, I'm the cameraman, and I say we shoot here. And I'm the producer, and I 197 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,660 say we shoot right there. 198 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,680 It's so nice over here. Why not shoot here? 199 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,200 Okay. Okay. 200 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,880 You look kind of dark. Where'd you get that makeup? 201 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,140 In the cabinet on the shelf on the left. 202 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,400 That wasn't makeup. That was soy sauce. 203 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:51,800 Soy sauce? 204 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,380 But it says S -O -Y. 205 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,240 Smear on yourself. 206 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:56,920 So what do we do? 207 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,900 Well, we got some. Let's shoot it. 208 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,420 You fellas understand sound, don't you? 209 00:19:02,780 --> 00:19:04,180 First, we turn on the recorder. 210 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,780 And when the camera starts, you go like this. 211 00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,020 Okay, I'll do it. 212 00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:10,360 Right. Roll them. 213 00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:12,020 Where'd you hear that? 214 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,960 Don't you roll something? 215 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,040 Isn't that the way it goes? 216 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,720 CB always said camera. 217 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,480 Camera? Right. 218 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:19,780 Okay, she's rolling. 219 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,400 Scene 81, take one. 220 00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:26,300 Say, 221 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,220 Bob, come here a minute, will you? 222 00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:31,920 You know, Schmertz thinks we ought to shoot the titles first. 223 00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:37,300 Yeah, when I was working with Rock and Charlton, we always shot the titles 224 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,300 first. 225 00:19:40,419 --> 00:19:45,840 Well, of course, if that's the way you do it with rock... Rock who? 226 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,640 Rachmaninoff, I think. 227 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,200 Oh. 228 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,280 All right, girls, right over here. Now we're going to shoot the titles. 229 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,800 Remember, we're running out of film, cast and crew. We're running out of 230 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,760 so we've got to make this in one take. Got it? Everybody cooperate. 231 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,500 Now, Monique, you come first. That's right. 232 00:20:04,940 --> 00:20:06,860 After that, Francine, you're second. 233 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,200 And then now... 234 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,540 All right, dear. April, you're third. 235 00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:15,000 And, honey, Audrey, you bring up the rear. 236 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:20,260 All right. Mr. Seaman. Yes, dear. I don't want my name in this, so I crossed 237 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,500 out. What is your name? 238 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:23,380 Latouche. Oh, dear. 239 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,620 Well, anyway, let's take it. Ready? Everybody, camera. All right, everybody. 240 00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,100 Camera. 241 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,260 Poise, poise. Room. 242 00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:07,860 We've got to do that over. We can't get fired. No, no, no. It was great. 243 00:21:08,420 --> 00:21:10,700 That's the way Daryl always does them. 244 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:15,300 Don't worry about such unimportant things. Besides, we'll correct it with 245 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:16,300 editing later. 246 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:21,220 Well, if that's the way Daryl does it, Daryl who? 247 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,440 Daryl Schwartz, that's who. 248 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:44,720 All right, girls. 249 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,040 Now, today we're going to make the scenes that bring the people into the 250 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,080 theater. What are you going to make, popcorn? 251 00:32:09,580 --> 00:32:12,960 Say, Bob, listen, Smirch says he's got a great idea for a shot. 252 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:19,380 Yeah? Well, we get this big boom, and I get all the way on the top of it, and I 253 00:32:19,380 --> 00:32:22,780 slowly come down and take a shot of this girl. 254 00:32:23,500 --> 00:32:24,259 Oh, yeah? 255 00:32:24,260 --> 00:32:25,680 How much will this cost? 256 00:32:26,180 --> 00:32:27,500 Cost? This is art. 257 00:32:27,900 --> 00:32:29,280 Yeah, well, how much does he charge? 258 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:39,320 What a hard day shooting. 259 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,760 Well, unload the camera, Schmertz. 260 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:45,480 Not me. 261 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:51,780 As I was saying to Doris, Liz, and Carrie just the other day, whoever loads 262 00:34:51,780 --> 00:34:55,719 camera should unload it. Well, that's you. Not me, baby. 263 00:34:55,940 --> 00:34:57,860 Al loaded the camera this morning. 264 00:34:58,100 --> 00:35:00,620 Me? I don't even know how to load a camera. 265 00:35:00,940 --> 00:35:01,779 Wait a minute. 266 00:35:01,780 --> 00:35:04,200 Let's not all get panicky, boys, but... 267 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,540 Let whoever loaded the camera this morning raise his hand. 268 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:29,520 No. 269 00:35:31,140 --> 00:35:32,140 No. 270 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:40,280 Thank you. 271 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:41,920 All right, everybody over this way, please. 272 00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:46,860 All right, girls. 273 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:48,980 Here's the plot line now. 274 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:55,760 Let's take a script so that everybody knows what he's doing. We'll all look 275 00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:56,760 right at it. 276 00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:58,920 Now, you, April. 277 00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:00,540 April. 278 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:05,500 You and Francine. Now, you are fishing in the lake. 279 00:41:06,540 --> 00:41:08,320 And it's very warm. 280 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,580 Warm? Are you kidding? It's the middle of October and it's freezing. 281 00:41:12,980 --> 00:41:14,780 Well, they'll never notice. 282 00:41:15,020 --> 00:41:20,380 Now, anyway, it's very warm. So you decide to take off your clothes. 283 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,520 And you're going to enjoy yourself in the sun. 284 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,120 Oh, Mr. Stevens, you are so clever. 285 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:29,400 Oh, thank you, thank you. 286 00:41:30,100 --> 00:41:31,760 Anyway, you're fishing. 287 00:41:32,020 --> 00:41:34,800 And you're not paying any attention to where you're going. 288 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:38,200 And you come inside of this house, see? 289 00:41:38,860 --> 00:41:44,500 And, uh, now, Monique and Audrey, you live in this house. 290 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,740 I never lived in a house yet. 291 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,600 I'm a freelancer. 292 00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:51,520 Not that kind of a house, Audrey. 293 00:41:52,140 --> 00:41:56,840 Why don't we let Mr. Stevens go on with his fascinating story? 294 00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:58,720 Thank you, Francine. 295 00:41:59,300 --> 00:42:04,780 Well, Francine and April see this big house there. 296 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,060 And, uh, they think it's empty. 297 00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:13,660 So they sneak up on the house, and there they find Monique and Audrey sunbathing 298 00:42:13,660 --> 00:42:14,618 in the yard. 299 00:42:14,620 --> 00:42:16,180 And they all join in the fun. 300 00:42:16,380 --> 00:42:19,940 What do you mean they all join in the fun? What kind of a girl do you think I 301 00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:20,940 am? 302 00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:23,880 There's only two kinds that I can think of, sweetie. 303 00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:53,840 White man ruin whole country. 304 00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:57,360 This only place left. 305 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,160 Me look for Buffalo. 306 00:43:44,750 --> 00:43:47,350 White man, say, stay on reservation. 307 00:43:50,290 --> 00:43:52,150 We have no reason to leave. 308 00:43:57,950 --> 00:43:58,510 White 309 00:43:58,510 --> 00:44:05,370 man, 310 00:44:05,550 --> 00:44:06,550 lie. 311 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:52,500 I got it. I got it. 312 00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,940 I got it. I got it. 313 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:58,400 I got it. 314 00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:00,340 I got it. 315 00:46:02,940 --> 00:46:07,120 I got it. I got it. I got it. 316 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:10,960 I got it. 317 00:46:16,240 --> 00:46:16,919 All right. 318 00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:18,000 All right. 319 00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:19,480 All right. 320 00:46:21,100 --> 00:46:27,840 All right. 321 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,440 All 322 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:45,180 right. 323 00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:46,840 How about the film now? We've got to go to the camera. 324 00:46:47,100 --> 00:46:48,100 Oh, oh, oh. 325 00:46:48,940 --> 00:46:49,799 Where's the film? 326 00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,280 I'll help you. Right there on the floor. Here's the film. 327 00:46:52,580 --> 00:46:54,040 Here's the film. I got it. 328 00:47:27,980 --> 00:47:32,120 Put it in. Put it in. Wait a minute. Don't step on my pole. First of all, 329 00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:33,058 how you do it. 330 00:47:33,060 --> 00:47:34,620 Put that on the ground. Put it in. 331 00:47:35,500 --> 00:47:37,620 Here we go. Put this down. Put it down. 332 00:47:38,300 --> 00:47:41,300 All right. 333 00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,040 Don't fall. 334 00:47:45,940 --> 00:47:46,300 Get 335 00:47:46,300 --> 00:47:54,240 it. 336 00:47:54,300 --> 00:47:55,600 Pull it up. Get it. 337 00:47:55,900 --> 00:47:56,900 Get it. 338 00:48:00,890 --> 00:48:03,050 I got it. I got it. I got it. 339 00:48:03,270 --> 00:48:06,090 I got it. 340 00:48:08,770 --> 00:48:09,770 I got it. 341 00:48:10,030 --> 00:48:11,030 I got it. 342 00:48:12,190 --> 00:48:13,190 I got it. 343 00:48:13,450 --> 00:48:16,010 I got 344 00:48:16,010 --> 00:48:23,170 it. 345 00:48:25,150 --> 00:48:27,170 Oh, you got them. All right. 346 00:48:27,430 --> 00:48:28,288 Got it. 347 00:48:28,290 --> 00:48:29,290 All right. 348 00:48:29,610 --> 00:48:30,890 Get it up there. It's cold. 349 00:48:31,090 --> 00:48:32,090 Hurry up before it gets wet. 350 00:48:32,510 --> 00:48:33,510 All right. 351 00:48:33,690 --> 00:48:36,330 Hurry up before it gets all wet. Put it in there, Schmuck. Got it. What happens 352 00:48:36,330 --> 00:48:39,070 in an emergency? We got to reach it out. No, we'll put it inside. 353 00:48:39,450 --> 00:48:41,330 That's all right. There it is. In straight. There it goes. 354 00:48:41,630 --> 00:48:42,630 All right. 355 00:48:42,790 --> 00:48:43,790 Right off. 356 00:48:43,990 --> 00:48:45,350 Right off. Look out. 357 00:48:45,650 --> 00:48:46,650 Oh. 358 00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:50,810 Oh. Not overboard. 359 00:48:51,330 --> 00:48:52,330 Get that man. 360 00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:55,260 Keep away from that. 361 00:49:46,890 --> 00:49:48,550 That's our boy. I saved him. 362 00:49:48,870 --> 00:49:49,870 Oh, 363 00:49:50,070 --> 00:49:54,110 my God. Oh, my God. Girls, hold on a minute longer. 364 00:49:54,610 --> 00:49:55,610 It's all right. 365 00:49:56,050 --> 00:49:57,050 I'll get it. 366 00:49:57,290 --> 00:49:59,150 Okay. I got it. 367 00:49:59,530 --> 00:50:01,050 I told you I'd save it. 368 00:50:01,290 --> 00:50:05,850 See? I had it put in the camera. I think there's a picture. No, we've got the 369 00:50:05,850 --> 00:50:06,288 other one. 370 00:50:06,290 --> 00:50:07,290 Oh! 371 00:50:10,150 --> 00:50:11,610 All right, Francine, dear. 372 00:50:11,870 --> 00:50:14,990 This is your really big, big scene now. And it's a toughie. 373 00:50:15,420 --> 00:50:18,760 Do you think you can do it? Oh, I can do anything for you, Mr. Stevens. 374 00:50:19,060 --> 00:50:20,120 Ah, thank you, my dear. 375 00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:21,520 All right, then. 376 00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:22,900 Now, here's what you do. 377 00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:28,460 First, you climb up the sheer side of that mountain up there, hand over hand, 378 00:50:28,460 --> 00:50:29,319 the rocks. 379 00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:32,620 But you've got to make it fast, dear. We're very short on film as it is. 380 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,560 Okay. Now, next, you get down on all fours. No, wait, wait. First, you come 381 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:40,980 that big thorn bush over there. See it? As you brush by the thorns, the sharp 382 00:50:40,980 --> 00:50:43,100 thorns will stick you here, here, and here. 383 00:50:43,550 --> 00:50:46,290 and rip your swimsuit right off, right off your back. 384 00:50:47,010 --> 00:50:52,250 Now, down on all fours. You're going to climb up the backside of old teetering 385 00:50:52,250 --> 00:50:53,250 rock. 386 00:50:53,730 --> 00:50:54,730 Like that. 387 00:50:54,770 --> 00:50:59,090 But you've got to be careful, Francine. Last year, a couple of guys... Oh, no 388 00:50:59,090 --> 00:51:00,090 matter about that. 389 00:51:00,190 --> 00:51:04,050 Now, now you're up on the highest point, the top of the mountain, and you draw 390 00:51:04,050 --> 00:51:07,230 yourself up to your fullest height, balancing there as you stand. 391 00:51:07,730 --> 00:51:10,650 Now, up go your hands and you make this tremendous dive. 392 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:18,440 But you've got to be careful, Francine, and dive far out, way out from those 393 00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:19,900 sharp crags on the way down. 394 00:51:20,700 --> 00:51:25,080 Now, as you hit the water, you've also got to be careful to miss those 395 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,600 rocks there and there and there. 396 00:51:28,860 --> 00:51:34,520 Now, now you're in the water, and you're home free, swimming home to us and 397 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:38,700 safety on the shore, pulling the rowboat with your teeth. 398 00:51:40,700 --> 00:51:41,920 You think you can do it? 399 00:51:43,049 --> 00:51:47,030 Mr. Stevens, I can do anything for a director like you. 400 00:51:47,430 --> 00:51:51,630 All right, my girl. Then get out there and do it. Remember, though, the whole 401 00:51:51,630 --> 00:51:54,890 team will be behind you, standing here to bring you up in the rear. 402 00:51:55,110 --> 00:51:57,970 Go to it, my girl. This is your moment for center stage. 403 00:51:58,310 --> 00:51:59,550 Ready? March! 404 00:52:00,190 --> 00:52:06,810 Da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 405 00:52:06,810 --> 00:52:08,590 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 406 00:52:08,590 --> 00:52:13,090 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da 407 00:52:13,090 --> 00:52:12,920 -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da Just the 408 00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:17,340 the other day, Martin said to me, Schmutz, are you ready? And I really told him 409 00:52:17,460 --> 00:52:21,380 Yeah, what'd you say? What'd you say? I said, you betcha. 410 00:52:21,780 --> 00:52:22,940 All right now, fellas. 411 00:52:23,260 --> 00:52:27,000 Now she's starting up the mountains, love let's get ready. When we start to roll 412 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:28,440 that thing, I want it all in one, remember? 413 00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,180 All right, all right. Be careful there. Look out, Francine. 414 00:52:31,540 --> 00:52:32,740 There goes the swimsuit. 415 00:52:33,140 --> 00:52:34,600 Oh, hang on, girls. 416 00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:36,360 Can't she roll? 417 00:52:36,500 --> 00:52:37,680 Get out of the way. 418 00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:39,380 Francine, look out. 419 00:52:39,660 --> 00:52:40,660 Look out. 420 00:52:51,310 --> 00:52:52,310 What a dive. 421 00:52:57,690 --> 00:52:59,390 Was I all right, Mr. Stevens? 422 00:52:59,610 --> 00:53:01,030 Francine, you were wonderful. 423 00:53:01,590 --> 00:53:05,530 Sensational. I've never seen a better shot in my life. And it's so lucky we 424 00:53:05,530 --> 00:53:07,850 it on the first shot because we couldn't have made it again. 425 00:53:08,070 --> 00:53:11,850 All right, girls, take five minutes off. Come in, girls. Come and take Francine 426 00:53:11,850 --> 00:53:14,430 to the showers. Take five minutes off and come on right back. We'll make 427 00:53:14,430 --> 00:53:15,850 scene. Thank you, dear. 428 00:53:16,950 --> 00:53:19,470 Boy, you know, that was a great shot. 429 00:53:20,460 --> 00:53:22,660 Best one in the whole movie. It'll make this picture. 430 00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,760 Say, Schmertz, what's this thing anyway? 431 00:53:28,500 --> 00:53:29,860 Oh, that's a lens cap. 432 00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:31,280 What's it for? 433 00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,200 It keeps the light out of the camera. 434 00:53:33,420 --> 00:53:35,160 Oh, where'd you find it? 435 00:53:35,700 --> 00:53:36,700 Over the lens. 436 00:53:57,690 --> 00:53:59,210 Gone. All our money. 437 00:54:00,330 --> 00:54:01,330 Down the drain. 438 00:54:03,690 --> 00:54:08,790 Say, let's get that fellow Schmertz out here and find out just what's going on. 439 00:54:09,810 --> 00:54:13,910 Didn't he tell you he was actually in the film business out there in 440 00:54:14,390 --> 00:54:18,310 Yep, but I think the only thing he knows about film is the stuff that's on his 441 00:54:18,310 --> 00:54:22,210 teeth. You know, I think you're right, Bob. We ought to call him over here and 442 00:54:22,210 --> 00:54:23,210 see what the scoop is. 443 00:54:23,430 --> 00:54:24,710 Hey, Schmertz! 444 00:54:25,090 --> 00:54:26,420 Schmertz! Come over here. 445 00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:30,340 Yeah? Hey, where you going? 446 00:54:30,620 --> 00:54:31,680 Back to Hollywood. 447 00:54:32,180 --> 00:54:34,520 I just had a fabulous offer. 448 00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,520 You fellas are about finished anyway. 449 00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:38,560 Yeah, we're finished all right. 450 00:54:39,140 --> 00:54:41,500 Oh, I don't want to leave you in the lurch. 451 00:54:41,740 --> 00:54:45,600 Well, let me just outline a few of the steps you still have to take. 452 00:54:47,140 --> 00:54:50,880 First, you process the film. Then you work print it. 453 00:54:51,180 --> 00:54:55,600 You have to transfer the sound to magnetic. Then you score it and mix the 454 00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:59,940 and dub it to the optical sound track. After you've put in your optical 455 00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:01,460 you can form the negative. 456 00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:05,780 Time the negative for printing density and synchronize your sound. 457 00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:11,000 Then all you have to do is make the density changes from your answer print, 458 00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,780 the changeover cues, and you're in business. It's really simple from here 459 00:55:14,780 --> 00:55:18,740 out. Well, so long, fellas, and thanks for the experience. 460 00:55:20,790 --> 00:55:22,350 Say, Schmertz. Yeah. 461 00:55:24,070 --> 00:55:29,030 Didn't you say you were actually in the film business out there in Hollywood? 462 00:55:29,410 --> 00:55:30,410 That's right. 463 00:55:30,430 --> 00:55:35,730 Well, just between you and me, Schmertz, what's this fabulous offer you were 464 00:55:35,730 --> 00:55:36,730 telling us about? 465 00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:38,470 Oh, it's a big promotion. 466 00:55:40,590 --> 00:55:41,610 Ted Usher. 467 00:55:45,830 --> 00:55:48,730 Well, if you're ever out in Wyoming, look me up. 468 00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,080 Wyoming? 469 00:55:51,740 --> 00:55:55,040 Yeah, the Strand Theater, Hollywood, Wyoming. 470 00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:58,800 Well, so long, fellas, and a lot of good luck to you. 471 00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:17,380 Oh, no! 472 00:57:13,580 --> 00:57:14,580 Thank you. 473 00:58:22,670 --> 00:58:25,450 And we're going to take everything we've got, and we're going to use it. 474 00:58:25,730 --> 00:58:29,710 In other words, by doing more editing, I'll be the only blind film producer in 475 00:58:29,710 --> 00:58:30,710 this whole business. 476 00:58:30,970 --> 00:58:34,510 Well, what's this? We better let it go as it is, because I don't think we're 477 00:58:34,510 --> 00:58:37,390 going to be able to make it any better. Well, I'm going to take this down to the 478 00:58:37,390 --> 00:58:40,710 ladder for you, and you can finish up the ads and the posters. 479 00:58:54,250 --> 00:58:55,250 I was looking for that. 480 00:58:55,650 --> 00:58:56,770 Oh, that good girl. 481 00:59:01,530 --> 00:59:04,030 Well, I guess that's it. 482 00:59:17,890 --> 00:59:18,910 halitosis is inside. 483 00:59:19,170 --> 00:59:23,110 What did you tell him? Well, I told him we had a new film and he said, okay, 484 00:59:23,150 --> 00:59:25,610 bring it over and he'll show it after the late show tonight. 485 00:59:25,990 --> 00:59:28,990 And if he likes it, he'll distribute it for us. 486 00:59:29,250 --> 00:59:32,850 And if he doesn't like it? If he doesn't like it, we're sunk. 487 00:59:33,470 --> 00:59:35,930 He's the only guy who distributes these films. 488 00:59:36,330 --> 00:59:38,950 And if he won't take it, we're dead. 489 00:59:40,430 --> 00:59:41,670 Did you see the picture? 490 00:59:41,890 --> 00:59:45,450 No, I didn't have a chance. I went in the laboratory where they printed it. 491 00:59:45,450 --> 00:59:47,410 I just picked it up and I came from there to here. 492 00:59:49,050 --> 00:59:50,110 We'll see it now, though. 493 01:00:17,580 --> 01:00:19,560 Mr. Halitosis... Call me Sonny. 494 01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:21,880 Sonny? 495 01:00:22,660 --> 01:00:25,060 Do you really think our picture has a chance? 496 01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:26,640 I don't know. 497 01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,420 I ain't seen it yet. But let me ask you a question. 498 01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:31,500 You want to make a profit on this? 499 01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:36,060 Well, to tell you the truth, we'd like to just break even. 500 01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:37,640 Let me ask you another question. 501 01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,420 You want an honest count at the box office? 502 01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:41,760 We don't even care. 503 01:00:42,100 --> 01:00:45,140 All we want is to get our money back, me and Al. 504 01:00:45,420 --> 01:00:46,440 In that case... 505 01:00:46,760 --> 01:00:47,880 You've got a chance. 506 01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:49,680 Okay, Sammy. 507 01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:51,300 Make with the picture. 508 01:01:02,100 --> 01:01:07,040 Well, I'll tell you boys you... Hey, where are you guys? 509 01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:18,320 Uh, we're... Move quietly, Mr. Halitosis. Honestly, we... Yes, you can 510 01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:19,580 film back any time. 511 01:01:19,780 --> 01:01:23,080 You couldn't stand it, huh? 512 01:01:23,420 --> 01:01:26,400 Well, it was just bad enough, boys. 513 01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:28,080 I'll take it. 514 01:01:29,540 --> 01:01:30,540 You'll what? 515 01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:34,800 I'll take it. It was the worst picture I ever seen. 516 01:01:35,140 --> 01:01:37,720 It'll be a smash at the box office. 517 01:01:48,300 --> 01:01:49,300 Uh, say, miss. 518 01:01:50,580 --> 01:01:55,440 What do you want? Well, you see, uh, we're movie producers, and, uh, we make 519 01:01:55,440 --> 01:02:01,400 lots of movies, and, uh, we're contemplating making a, uh, a girly 520 01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:03,000 we'd like you to be in it, all right? 521 01:02:04,280 --> 01:02:05,760 But, miss, you misunderstand. 522 01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:07,040 It's a nice show. Well, 523 01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:11,840 well, here we go again.