1 00:00:15,490 --> 00:00:18,985 This is my office. Here we make a ton of TV commercials. 2 00:00:19,177 --> 00:00:22,364 Honestly, my work is just checking over other people's work. 3 00:00:22,518 --> 00:00:25,359 What I'd really love is to be a sports journalist. 4 00:00:25,513 --> 00:00:26,626 But in the meantime... 5 00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:30,120 You're firing me? 6 00:00:30,582 --> 00:00:34,229 But John, John... Juan... 7 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,495 I know what I do is easy, but I'm good at it. 8 00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:37,878 Layoffs. 9 00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:41,334 So fire Luisma. He's a recent hire. 10 00:00:41,526 --> 00:00:44,636 Luisma. Good point. I hadn't thought of him. Thanks. 11 00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,748 No, that Luisma thing was a figure of speech. Don't fire him. 12 00:00:46,901 --> 00:00:49,744 Sure, but you reminded me and we're cutting back. 13 00:00:51,203 --> 00:00:52,931 - Right. It's all good, but... - No. 14 00:00:54,428 --> 00:00:57,616 Right... Could you call in Luisma, please? 15 00:01:01,571 --> 00:01:04,989 My girlfriend dumped me and I was sacked all within 48 hours. 16 00:01:05,603 --> 00:01:08,137 There is no one more pathetic than me on this continent right now. 17 00:01:08,328 --> 00:01:10,096 - I'm sure not. - You know what Ana said? 18 00:01:10,288 --> 00:01:13,513 "I don't think we were made for each other." Clearly not! 19 00:01:13,666 --> 00:01:17,162 I wear earplugs to avoid hearing that Melendi shit you like! 20 00:01:17,584 --> 00:01:20,195 And sorry, you can't dump your boyfriend at dinner 21 00:01:20,349 --> 00:01:23,190 on the day he proposes. He'll never get over it. 22 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,571 You say, "Let me think." 23 00:01:25,724 --> 00:01:27,722 Then you go home and text him the next day 24 00:01:27,875 --> 00:01:29,066 just like everyone else does. 25 00:01:29,258 --> 00:01:30,717 What am I supposed to do with myself now? 26 00:01:30,871 --> 00:01:34,096 She did you a favour, dude. What's this same girl for years shit? 27 00:01:34,288 --> 00:01:35,786 Monogamy doesn't exist. 28 00:01:35,978 --> 00:01:38,435 Do you realize the time you've lost? Look. 29 00:01:38,589 --> 00:01:39,856 UNIVERSITY ORGY COME GET WILD 30 00:01:40,048 --> 00:01:41,008 Is that even for real? 31 00:01:41,162 --> 00:01:43,197 This and much more! Give me your phone. 32 00:01:43,351 --> 00:01:46,154 - Come on, life is moving on without us. - I'm not... 33 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:49,840 Shut up. You need updating, young Marcos. 34 00:01:49,994 --> 00:01:52,912 - What's your profile? - Left side. My nose looks smaller. 35 00:01:53,066 --> 00:01:55,985 Clearly you are no stud. 36 00:01:56,177 --> 00:01:58,865 Check it out, though... if you make an effort... 37 00:01:59,057 --> 00:02:01,436 - What's that? - Friends with benefits. 38 00:02:01,591 --> 00:02:02,282 I don't know... 39 00:02:02,436 --> 00:02:04,932 - We'll start with some sexy emojis... - Sexy what? 40 00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,697 - An eggplant, a peach... - So, vegetables. 41 00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:11,076 You're going to make this difficult, aren't you? 42 00:02:11,230 --> 00:02:15,414 Don't download a virus. What is all this? 43 00:02:15,607 --> 00:02:18,257 I added a few sweet hookup apps. 44 00:02:18,449 --> 00:02:21,329 Tinder, Raya, Boompi, Happn, Saken... 45 00:02:21,482 --> 00:02:24,247 I know Saken. It's that Japanese drink, right? 46 00:02:25,361 --> 00:02:27,127 - Oh God. - I'm going home, man. 47 00:02:27,742 --> 00:02:29,814 Is your mommy waiting for you? 48 00:02:30,007 --> 00:02:31,659 I'm not in the mood. I don't want to be... 49 00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:33,885 Young Marcos, your new life starts now. 50 00:02:34,039 --> 00:02:34,692 I know. 51 00:02:34,845 --> 00:02:37,880 - Seize the day, man... - Right. I'll check it out. 52 00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:40,529 That's it, check it out. Trust me! 53 00:02:43,332 --> 00:02:45,905 At this very moment I just found out what my profile is: 54 00:02:46,097 --> 00:02:50,397 I'm 35, I live with my parents, I am but a shadow to women, 55 00:02:50,552 --> 00:02:52,317 Ana dumped me and now my life sucks. 56 00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,120 And I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want. 57 00:02:56,272 --> 00:02:58,730 Diego has good intentions, but they don't help me. 58 00:02:58,885 --> 00:03:00,957 I have to look for help from reliable resources. 59 00:03:03,032 --> 00:03:04,837 HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK UP 60 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,351 Thanks for choosing the greatest self-help channel 61 00:03:20,503 --> 00:03:21,272 in all the Hispanic world. 62 00:03:21,426 --> 00:03:24,191 Because when you need help, who can you turn to? 63 00:03:24,343 --> 00:03:26,111 Family? Friends? 64 00:03:26,263 --> 00:03:26,993 No... 65 00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:30,488 You go to Google, and here we are. 66 00:03:30,642 --> 00:03:32,293 - Listen up. - Okay. 67 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,597 You want to get out of the hole you're stuck in? 68 00:03:34,751 --> 00:03:37,975 Want to look in the mirror and not be ashamed of what you see? 69 00:03:38,168 --> 00:03:39,666 And most importantly, 70 00:03:39,858 --> 00:03:42,508 do you want to get over your ex and start with your new life? 71 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,544 Exactly. 72 00:03:43,736 --> 00:03:44,388 Good. 73 00:03:44,543 --> 00:03:46,463 Here is my first piece of advice. 74 00:03:47,308 --> 00:03:49,689 Stand up and scream. 75 00:03:50,418 --> 00:03:52,683 Free yourself of all that anger and hate... 76 00:03:52,837 --> 00:03:54,526 Actually, I'm more sad than angry. 77 00:03:54,681 --> 00:03:55,756 Go for it... 78 00:03:59,366 --> 00:04:00,249 That's it! 79 00:04:00,402 --> 00:04:02,398 Say it: "Motherfucker! 80 00:04:02,553 --> 00:04:04,281 You are a motherfucker!" 81 00:04:04,433 --> 00:04:05,894 You are a motherfucker! 82 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,506 Motherfucker! 83 00:04:07,698 --> 00:04:09,349 Motherfucker! 84 00:04:09,503 --> 00:04:12,344 Ah... Motherfucker... Uh... Motherfucker... 85 00:04:12,536 --> 00:04:13,113 Can't do it. 86 00:04:13,266 --> 00:04:15,071 Motherfucker! 87 00:04:19,986 --> 00:04:21,599 Don't you feel better? 88 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,059 Much better. 89 00:04:23,481 --> 00:04:26,361 Of course, all that weight off your shoulders. 90 00:04:27,014 --> 00:04:30,432 Now, I want you to take a pen and paper 91 00:04:31,392 --> 00:04:32,620 and write down 92 00:04:32,811 --> 00:04:35,232 what it is that you want with all your might. 93 00:04:36,729 --> 00:04:39,224 Don't be a moron and put down "get back together with my ex". 94 00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:41,452 What the hell. 95 00:04:41,606 --> 00:04:44,064 So, in order to get what you really want, 96 00:04:44,294 --> 00:04:48,864 the first thing you have to do is become financially independent. 97 00:04:49,094 --> 00:04:51,321 To have money and not depend on your parents. 98 00:04:51,475 --> 00:04:53,087 Of course, yeah, that's fine... 99 00:04:53,241 --> 00:04:55,430 You are 35 years old, have some balls. 100 00:04:55,584 --> 00:04:57,389 What are you doing still living with your parents? 101 00:04:57,581 --> 00:05:00,230 Stop leeching off your parents and get out of there, you idiot! 102 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,610 It's just how things have been. 103 00:05:02,765 --> 00:05:05,683 You big idiot! Get out of your parents' house, moron! 104 00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,027 - Don't insult me... - Get to work! 105 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:10,483 - Get to work! - Okay, I'll give it a try now. 106 00:05:10,636 --> 00:05:11,481 Idiot. 107 00:05:24,884 --> 00:05:27,495 - What's up, dude? Why are you here? - What's up, Diego... 108 00:05:27,648 --> 00:05:31,373 Give me a job, I mean, I want a job, I need a job. Give me a job. 109 00:05:31,988 --> 00:05:34,561 - What are you talking about? - Give me a job here. Give me a job! 110 00:05:34,714 --> 00:05:37,286 A job? As if I could give anyone a job. 111 00:05:37,441 --> 00:05:39,130 No, young Marcos. Things are really bad now. 112 00:05:39,284 --> 00:05:41,011 You don't understand me. I'm not giving you a choice. 113 00:05:41,165 --> 00:05:43,201 I'm not telling you "Here, let's see if you can give me..." 114 00:05:43,354 --> 00:05:46,004 - No. Give me a job or I'll tell. - You'll tell what? 115 00:05:46,157 --> 00:05:47,886 I'll call your exes and tell how you cheated on them, 116 00:05:48,039 --> 00:05:50,074 I'll call our friends and tell you fucked their girlfriends. 117 00:05:50,228 --> 00:05:51,801 But why are you such an asshole? 118 00:05:51,956 --> 00:05:54,529 It's not just to be an asshole, it's to survive. 119 00:05:57,371 --> 00:05:59,482 I can look to see if there is anything in the Internet department... 120 00:05:59,636 --> 00:06:01,633 - You see? - You son of a bitch, 121 00:06:01,787 --> 00:06:04,436 - you could kill me any other day. - Champ, you are a champ. 122 00:06:13,230 --> 00:06:14,459 Hey, stupid! 123 00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:17,915 - I'm the stupid one? - Marcos! 124 00:06:18,068 --> 00:06:21,332 - Yes... - It's me, Raquel! 125 00:06:21,486 --> 00:06:22,945 Oh... Which one? 126 00:06:23,176 --> 00:06:26,785 - From 1 B. - You're Raquel from 1 B? 127 00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:29,934 Wow! How's it going? 128 00:06:30,741 --> 00:06:33,429 Well, you caught me right in the middle of a lot of changes. 129 00:06:33,621 --> 00:06:35,694 Lots of work, lots of projects... What are you up to? 130 00:06:35,847 --> 00:06:36,962 I'm going to a funeral. 131 00:06:37,115 --> 00:06:39,035 Oh, well, great... 132 00:06:41,607 --> 00:06:43,835 How long has it been since we last saw each other? 133 00:06:44,066 --> 00:06:47,752 Since high school... or like more than 15 years. 134 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,781 What've you been up to all this time? 135 00:06:54,242 --> 00:06:55,278 Thinking about you. 136 00:06:56,162 --> 00:06:57,314 Of course. 137 00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,042 It's a joke, stupid! 138 00:06:59,195 --> 00:07:01,807 I moved to London, remember? 139 00:07:02,843 --> 00:07:06,415 - What did you want to play? - Gypsy music. 140 00:07:06,567 --> 00:07:09,447 Oh yeah, you played the accordion at the year-end party. 141 00:07:09,602 --> 00:07:11,483 - You were playing barefoot. - Yes! 142 00:07:11,637 --> 00:07:14,248 I remember, you sang great, but you were a freak. 143 00:07:14,402 --> 00:07:15,516 Well of course. 144 00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,972 You told me you were gonna record a tape for me with that track I liked. 145 00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:20,546 The Proclaimers, remember? 146 00:07:20,777 --> 00:07:22,427 I recorded that tape! Didn't I give it to you? 147 00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:23,502 No. 148 00:07:23,695 --> 00:07:24,540 Why didn't I give it to you? 149 00:07:24,732 --> 00:07:27,842 I don't know. But, if you sing it now, I'll forgive you. 150 00:07:28,111 --> 00:07:30,262 - Sure, right now. - No, seriously. 151 00:07:30,453 --> 00:07:32,911 Let me go home, drop off this box, and I'll come sing. 152 00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:34,946 Excuse me. 153 00:07:35,253 --> 00:07:37,902 - Okay, I'll see you later. - Okay. 154 00:07:40,975 --> 00:07:42,088 Diego, what's up? 155 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,275 You'll catch on right away, it's not that hard. 156 00:07:46,427 --> 00:07:48,078 Here we have the girls for handball, 157 00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:52,187 here we have the cycling section, and here are our superbloggers. 158 00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:54,070 This will be your spot, okay? 159 00:07:54,262 --> 00:07:55,643 Get settled in. 160 00:07:55,798 --> 00:07:58,563 You'll take care of online summaries for the games 161 00:07:58,716 --> 00:08:00,752 and whatever else we'll be needing, okay? 162 00:08:02,747 --> 00:08:03,516 One thing. 163 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:07,356 If you need help, don't ask me, I have a lot of work to do. 164 00:08:10,237 --> 00:08:14,422 You're a real sports journalist. For a real newspaper! 165 00:08:14,613 --> 00:08:16,573 This has been your dream since you were a little boy! 166 00:08:16,726 --> 00:08:18,799 And even if I'm only commenting on ping-pong games, 167 00:08:18,953 --> 00:08:21,333 I have always loved the less-popular sports. 168 00:08:21,488 --> 00:08:23,715 Knowing about soccer is easy, but to know Bulgarian canoeing... 169 00:08:23,868 --> 00:08:25,404 There's where the work is. 170 00:08:27,363 --> 00:08:28,630 I'm about to take off. 171 00:08:31,702 --> 00:08:35,043 The first litmus test for getting over Ana. My friend. 172 00:08:36,348 --> 00:08:37,232 Beers. 173 00:08:38,115 --> 00:08:39,536 My hook-up shirt. 174 00:08:40,035 --> 00:08:41,111 And most importantly, 175 00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,913 girls that Diego has connected with over Tinder. 176 00:08:44,719 --> 00:08:48,138 We've made a bet. The winner chooses the target... 177 00:08:49,289 --> 00:08:50,288 I'm freaked out. 178 00:08:50,711 --> 00:08:54,244 Okay, young Marcos, here's your audience: the 30-year-olds. 179 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:55,933 They are all crazy. 180 00:08:56,087 --> 00:08:58,736 And the blowjobs... they do it with... 181 00:09:00,119 --> 00:09:01,616 They do it with what? 182 00:09:01,769 --> 00:09:04,727 I don't know what it is. But they do it with such care and dedication... 183 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,913 - that it makes a difference. - I don't care if they do it or not. 184 00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:10,294 As long as I don't get laughed at today, I'll be happy with that. 185 00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:12,407 Of course, like your ex didn't suck your dick... whatever. 186 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,402 Her neck muscles were weak and messed her up if she did it... 187 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,898 Enough with the jokes. You're justifying her excuses? 188 00:09:18,052 --> 00:09:21,353 Blowjobs are irreplaceable. Everything else is fear... 189 00:09:21,969 --> 00:09:24,196 - Okay, your turn. - My turn. 190 00:09:24,349 --> 00:09:27,537 Now, if I get it in... I'll get it in. 191 00:09:28,228 --> 00:09:30,916 But if I get it in, I choose. 192 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,873 Okay, let's see what happens. 193 00:09:39,249 --> 00:09:40,132 Fuck... 194 00:09:41,399 --> 00:09:42,283 Get over there. 195 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,970 You're good at this, I've noticed. 196 00:09:45,278 --> 00:09:47,774 Good move, dude. Helping out. You got this. 197 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,654 Hitting it is complicated. 198 00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:53,149 I would attack it. A little more... 199 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,760 Could you get your hand off me, I can't concentrate. 200 00:09:55,914 --> 00:09:57,144 Of course, your call. 201 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,677 Almost... 202 00:10:01,483 --> 00:10:02,213 I missed. 203 00:10:06,245 --> 00:10:07,320 I'm going home. 204 00:10:10,314 --> 00:10:13,272 Home? No, please, stay and have a beer, won't you? 205 00:10:13,464 --> 00:10:15,154 Actually, no. I have class tomorrow. 206 00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:17,342 It's not even 12. 207 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,799 Teacher won't scold you for missing one class. 208 00:10:19,954 --> 00:10:23,909 Excuse me? I am the teacher. I teach at an occupational workshop. 209 00:10:24,139 --> 00:10:28,018 Occupational... workshop. That's interesting. 210 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:30,744 How the fuck can it be interesting if you don't know what it is? 211 00:10:32,203 --> 00:10:35,352 What happened to the code? There used to be a code with girls... 212 00:10:35,544 --> 00:10:37,464 your buddy hooks up with one, and you hooked up with the other. 213 00:10:37,655 --> 00:10:38,655 What is this? 214 00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:39,959 Hey... 215 00:10:41,688 --> 00:10:42,571 What's up? 216 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,375 You think cuz I'm fat I have to settle for the ugly poorly-dressed one? 217 00:10:46,488 --> 00:10:48,561 In that case if we're being honest with each other, 218 00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:49,983 I don't know, I think the scale evens out. 219 00:10:50,175 --> 00:10:51,557 You Neanderthal! 220 00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:54,514 I'm guessing by your words we aren't going to hook up? 221 00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:57,778 No. I'd rather go home and get myself off with my dildo, 222 00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,353 you talk way too much. 223 00:11:02,309 --> 00:11:04,153 She's going home with her dildo. 224 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,378 In the past century, I used to hook up, but not too much. 225 00:11:07,531 --> 00:11:09,798 But now, it's like I don't understand any of this... 226 00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:13,176 To hook up with a girl in the XXI century, 227 00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:16,018 I'm going to have to change myself into a man of the XXI century. 228 00:11:16,171 --> 00:11:17,094 I have no other option. 229 00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:21,894 HOW TO BE A MAN IN THE XXI CENTURY 230 00:11:36,486 --> 00:11:38,291 Hello, hello everyone 231 00:11:38,444 --> 00:11:40,480 and welcome to the greatest 232 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,784 self-help channel in all the Hispanic world. 233 00:11:42,976 --> 00:11:44,896 When you need help, who can you turn to? 234 00:11:45,049 --> 00:11:46,776 Family, friends? 235 00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:47,506 You. 236 00:11:47,699 --> 00:11:49,696 No, you go to Google, and here we are. 237 00:11:50,156 --> 00:11:54,111 Listen up. Do you want to be a man of the XXI century? 238 00:11:54,304 --> 00:11:56,570 To pick up a girl in the XXI century, 239 00:11:56,722 --> 00:11:59,219 you have to be in harmony with the world you live in. 240 00:11:59,372 --> 00:12:00,332 I'll give you some advice. 241 00:12:00,485 --> 00:12:03,520 First: balance out your body and mind. 242 00:12:04,325 --> 00:12:05,670 That is the first step of all. 243 00:12:06,285 --> 00:12:07,436 Do some exercise. 244 00:12:08,166 --> 00:12:11,239 Don't be intimidated by everyone else's toned biceps... 245 00:12:11,391 --> 00:12:14,464 It's only a matter of time before you'll be as strong as them. 246 00:12:15,885 --> 00:12:18,572 Sacrifice and perseverance. 247 00:12:20,954 --> 00:12:22,951 Eating well and your health go hand in hand. 248 00:12:23,181 --> 00:12:24,756 Avoid unhealthy temptations. 249 00:12:25,216 --> 00:12:27,443 Eliminate yogurt, milk and fatty cheeses, 250 00:12:27,866 --> 00:12:31,283 energy drinks, soda and beer, lunch meats... 251 00:12:31,436 --> 00:12:32,896 No, not allowed. 252 00:12:37,772 --> 00:12:40,768 Your outside appearance reflects your self-esteem. 253 00:12:40,921 --> 00:12:42,650 Look through your bathroom. 254 00:12:42,956 --> 00:12:45,031 Make sure you have your eye cream, 255 00:12:45,261 --> 00:12:47,565 face cleanser, tonic, facial peeler... 256 00:12:47,719 --> 00:12:50,062 Anti-wrinkle cream, very important. 257 00:12:51,213 --> 00:12:52,250 Change your look. 258 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,660 Style your hair. 259 00:13:05,766 --> 00:13:08,340 Dress like a man of the XXI century. 260 00:13:09,184 --> 00:13:10,566 Update your wardrobe. 261 00:13:10,951 --> 00:13:14,675 Don't use plaid shirts, striped t-shirts or sports jerseys... 262 00:13:33,339 --> 00:13:34,069 Hey, stupid! 263 00:13:35,066 --> 00:13:37,563 What, you see me and say nothing? 264 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,596 - Don't call me stupid... - You were spying on me. 265 00:13:40,789 --> 00:13:43,131 Well, I could either report you or call you stupid, you choose. 266 00:13:43,285 --> 00:13:44,821 Sorry, but this all seems strange. 267 00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:46,894 I haven't seen you for 15 years and now you're everywhere. 268 00:13:47,048 --> 00:13:49,352 - What are you even doing here? - I work here. 269 00:13:49,582 --> 00:13:51,733 What about you? You live around here? 270 00:13:51,885 --> 00:13:55,342 Not at all... Well, now I do, since I live with my parents... 271 00:13:55,495 --> 00:13:56,763 What a loser. 272 00:13:57,493 --> 00:14:00,450 And you know, my girlfriend dumped me the day I asked her to marry me? 273 00:14:01,946 --> 00:14:03,175 - But you know what? - What? 274 00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:05,365 I'm going to get over my ex right now. 275 00:14:05,519 --> 00:14:07,669 - And how will you do that? - Not the slightest clue. 276 00:14:07,938 --> 00:14:11,316 My friend Diego says I should hook up with someone to get over her. 277 00:14:11,509 --> 00:14:14,274 Actually, he tells me I have to hook up a lot. In general. 278 00:14:15,234 --> 00:14:16,655 So I'm on my way to buy clothes. 279 00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:19,495 Sure, fucking is much better with clothes on. 280 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:22,492 No, because I have to have a look. A new look. 281 00:14:22,645 --> 00:14:24,489 But why do you have to change your look? 282 00:14:24,642 --> 00:14:28,405 I have to, I have a blind date and appearance is everything now. 283 00:14:28,559 --> 00:14:30,901 The last time I bought myself jeans... 284 00:14:31,285 --> 00:14:32,898 Kurt Cobain was still alive I think. 285 00:14:33,129 --> 00:14:34,204 Seriously, seriously... 286 00:14:35,855 --> 00:14:38,390 - Hey, I'll be right back! - Okay! 287 00:14:39,734 --> 00:14:41,270 Oh, you're coming with me? 288 00:15:36,182 --> 00:15:37,411 My chest feels tight. 289 00:15:47,050 --> 00:15:48,508 Look, we make such a great couple! 290 00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:52,118 I wanna clear something up so we don't feel weird or anything. 291 00:15:52,311 --> 00:15:52,887 Okay. 292 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,228 Do you remember in school when you sort of told me you liked me? 293 00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:58,800 - You were in love with me, right? - I still am. 294 00:15:59,991 --> 00:16:02,410 15 years later and I can't seem to forget you. 295 00:16:03,407 --> 00:16:05,367 - In school... - I was fat and had lice. 296 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,516 - Of course, and now... - I look good... 297 00:16:07,708 --> 00:16:08,516 That's why! 298 00:16:10,743 --> 00:16:12,701 I'm an idiot who believes everything. 299 00:16:12,855 --> 00:16:13,815 Let's go. 300 00:16:13,968 --> 00:16:15,812 - We can be friends. - No, don't tell me that. 301 00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:18,307 - No more than that. - Don't say that or I'll break things. 302 00:16:19,690 --> 00:16:20,650 NOELIA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 303 00:16:24,414 --> 00:16:27,370 The one who really is amazing is the girl at reception. 304 00:16:28,023 --> 00:16:29,943 She's always making jokes. 305 00:16:30,327 --> 00:16:32,707 I laugh so much with her, she is super funny... 306 00:16:34,014 --> 00:16:34,782 Hey... 307 00:16:34,935 --> 00:16:37,008 you and I aren't going to hook up, okay? 308 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,007 Alright. 309 00:16:42,731 --> 00:16:43,575 SARA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 310 00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:44,574 CLAUDIA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 311 00:16:44,727 --> 00:16:46,838 AIDA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 312 00:16:57,168 --> 00:16:59,587 Be quiet, my roommates are asleep. 313 00:17:00,856 --> 00:17:03,083 Over there, over there, yeah. 314 00:17:03,966 --> 00:17:07,691 - I thought you lived alone. - I share a flat with a few friends. 315 00:17:07,845 --> 00:17:10,839 Well, I really feel like making some noise... 316 00:17:11,032 --> 00:17:11,915 Okay... 317 00:17:15,832 --> 00:17:17,597 - Home so soon. - Hi! 318 00:17:19,211 --> 00:17:20,171 Is she your girlfriend? 319 00:17:25,239 --> 00:17:27,658 Good night, Marcos, sleep well. 320 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:47,167 Your apartment is a castle of love 321 00:17:47,319 --> 00:17:50,892 where some day you'll have to bring the lovely ladies back to. 322 00:17:51,045 --> 00:17:53,272 It doesn't have to look like how you want it, 323 00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:55,346 but how they would like it... 324 00:17:55,692 --> 00:17:59,838 That is how you will reach the main goal of this channel: 325 00:18:00,798 --> 00:18:01,528 fuck. 326 00:18:02,488 --> 00:18:03,487 Or have sex. 327 00:18:04,408 --> 00:18:07,749 Wow, how hot your parents are! Having sex at their age. 328 00:18:07,941 --> 00:18:10,438 Children should never see their parents having sex. 329 00:18:10,629 --> 00:18:12,318 My father was talking to me with a mask on his face. 330 00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:13,202 Wow! 331 00:18:13,663 --> 00:18:14,815 What were they role-playing, Zorro? 332 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:18,002 And the girl who you were with? How did she take it? 333 00:18:18,156 --> 00:18:20,114 Fantastic, wedding bells are ringing... 334 00:18:20,306 --> 00:18:22,572 You've got an apartment at least, right? 335 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:25,720 This is awesome. It's wonderful, the light... 336 00:18:26,219 --> 00:18:27,833 It still doesn't get me laid. 337 00:18:29,062 --> 00:18:31,749 - Do you know Hater? - I don't know anything. What's Hater? 338 00:18:31,942 --> 00:18:34,092 It's an app where you share the things you hate. 339 00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:36,972 For example, I hate the loyalty cards from the supermarkets, 340 00:18:37,126 --> 00:18:39,814 they make me nervous. Electric scooters... 341 00:18:39,968 --> 00:18:42,233 - Killer tourists on fucking segways. - Yes! 342 00:18:43,385 --> 00:18:44,038 Selfie sticks! 343 00:18:44,229 --> 00:18:45,728 - Japanese restaurants. - Shiitake. 344 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,760 Small children who tell you "sir, sir". I'm a boy! 345 00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:51,448 - Sunflowers. - Why sunflowers? 346 00:18:51,757 --> 00:18:53,485 It's a flower that just makes me nervous. 347 00:18:53,638 --> 00:18:55,480 It's very yellow, and very big... Why are you right there? 348 00:18:56,173 --> 00:18:57,593 This app is very good, it's really great. 349 00:18:57,785 --> 00:18:58,937 - See? - I'm having a good time. 350 00:18:59,090 --> 00:19:00,243 But it's not going to get me laid either. 351 00:19:00,397 --> 00:19:01,664 Of course. Well, no... 352 00:19:03,353 --> 00:19:05,658 Getting laid or not, I do have good music. 353 00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:19,674 She's erased me from her life. 354 00:19:20,519 --> 00:19:22,285 For Ana, I no longer exist. 355 00:19:41,293 --> 00:19:44,249 Young Marcos, I'm going to give you some advice you need to know 356 00:19:44,404 --> 00:19:47,245 because this is key if you want to succeed with the ladies. 357 00:19:47,706 --> 00:19:48,858 Ignore them. 358 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,084 You can't be so desperate, man. You'll scare them. 359 00:19:52,237 --> 00:19:54,157 And most of all, stop thinking about your ex. 360 00:19:54,388 --> 00:19:57,537 Stop talking about your ex. Nobody gives a fuck about your ex. 361 00:19:57,689 --> 00:20:00,569 I'm only thinking about myself now. I promise. 362 00:20:01,146 --> 00:20:04,526 But I get distracted and... She slips right through... 363 00:20:05,025 --> 00:20:07,289 Don't get distracted. Concentrate on yourself. 364 00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:13,358 Dude, you're doing great at work. 365 00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:14,931 In fact, they told me they want you to oversee 366 00:20:15,086 --> 00:20:16,160 the Division 2 Twitter account. 367 00:20:16,352 --> 00:20:17,620 - They told you? - Yeah. 368 00:20:20,308 --> 00:20:22,650 - What are you looking at? - Nothing, you're just handsome. 369 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:27,566 You know, it's like you're... very proportioned, right? 370 00:20:28,296 --> 00:20:31,368 Really, young Marcos? You're acting very strange... 371 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,595 What did I say? It's an observation. 372 00:20:45,384 --> 00:20:46,728 VERONICA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 373 00:21:01,358 --> 00:21:03,048 I'm at the girl's house... 374 00:21:03,700 --> 00:21:07,233 And according to the instructions of my crazy Argentinian guru, 375 00:21:07,770 --> 00:21:09,422 I have been mentally adding up 376 00:21:09,576 --> 00:21:12,187 all the chances I have to end up in bed with her... 377 00:21:12,495 --> 00:21:14,799 and up to now, 8 out of 10. 378 00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:19,560 If I get to the bar and the girl shows cleavage. 2 points... 379 00:21:20,559 --> 00:21:23,746 If I ask her what her drink is and she says wine, 1 point; 380 00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,972 whisky, 3 points; with a coffee, I leave the bar... 381 00:21:26,127 --> 00:21:27,125 What would you like to drink? 382 00:21:27,279 --> 00:21:28,738 - A pint of beer. - A pint of beer. 383 00:21:28,891 --> 00:21:31,657 Excuse me! A pint of beer for her and a vermouth for me. 384 00:21:32,348 --> 00:21:33,422 1.5 points. 385 00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:35,420 Dinner is very complicated, 386 00:21:35,689 --> 00:21:37,647 you have to avoid having too many topics of conversation 387 00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:39,337 to avoid the friendzone... 388 00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:43,599 because that's no good, that's like minus 100 or 200 points. 389 00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:46,710 Are you hungry? 390 00:21:46,862 --> 00:21:49,129 No, I'm fine with the fries. Another round? 391 00:21:49,281 --> 00:21:50,472 Yes, please. Of course. 392 00:21:51,049 --> 00:21:52,201 1.5 points. 393 00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:55,733 And last of all... moment for drinks. 394 00:21:56,693 --> 00:21:59,766 If we get to that point and we don't know each other that well, 395 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:03,030 and she looks at me, interested and smiles without realizing it... 396 00:22:03,182 --> 00:22:04,719 That's the moment to kiss her... 397 00:22:04,988 --> 00:22:06,255 1 kiss, 1 point. 398 00:22:07,253 --> 00:22:09,173 A kiss with something else, 4 points... 399 00:22:09,481 --> 00:22:11,977 If she touches my package... a million points. 400 00:22:12,937 --> 00:22:13,936 I got 1 point. 401 00:22:19,926 --> 00:22:21,347 Plus two more points. 402 00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,381 Of course, because she was the one who told me: 403 00:22:23,536 --> 00:22:25,149 "want to come over to my house?" 404 00:22:28,336 --> 00:22:29,757 Tonight is a sure thing. 405 00:22:33,136 --> 00:22:35,056 You know, many people have told me 406 00:22:35,209 --> 00:22:38,204 "careful hooking up over the Internet, you'll end up with a surprise..." 407 00:22:38,397 --> 00:22:41,314 And instead, here we are, you and me, two people with things clearly laid out. 408 00:22:41,507 --> 00:22:44,426 Here, without shocks, with the truth in front of us. 409 00:22:52,642 --> 00:22:54,487 I've been using the wrong app. 410 00:22:55,216 --> 00:22:56,407 Don't be depressed... 411 00:22:57,136 --> 00:22:59,362 At least you've been able to forget about... 412 00:22:59,517 --> 00:23:00,707 - Ana... - Ana, that's it! 413 00:23:00,861 --> 00:23:02,167 Because you've forgotten about her already, right? 414 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,355 It's a weird phenomenon, because I think more about the things 415 00:23:04,548 --> 00:23:06,506 that drove me nuts about her than what I liked. 416 00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:08,656 However, I still remember her when I wake up, 417 00:23:08,810 --> 00:23:11,191 when I go to sleep, when I cook asparagus... 418 00:23:11,343 --> 00:23:14,684 - Do we really need to see this guy? - Of course, you're gonna like him. 419 00:23:14,877 --> 00:23:16,068 He isn't Argentinian? 420 00:23:16,336 --> 00:23:17,066 No. 421 00:23:17,220 --> 00:23:20,292 To hear him complain, "yes, my life...", I've got myself for that. 422 00:23:20,444 --> 00:23:22,327 Not at all, he isn't one of those singer-songwriters. 423 00:23:22,481 --> 00:23:25,052 You'll like him. He's handsome and plays very well. 424 00:23:25,207 --> 00:23:26,435 You want to fuck him. 425 00:23:26,628 --> 00:23:30,391 I don't want to fuck him... I already did. Now we're just friends. 426 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:31,390 No. 427 00:23:31,850 --> 00:23:33,540 - What? - That can't happen. 428 00:23:34,001 --> 00:23:36,382 What do you mean, that men and women can't be friends? 429 00:23:36,534 --> 00:23:38,148 If they've already had sex, no. 430 00:23:38,302 --> 00:23:41,795 Of course, we haven't had sex and that's why we're friends. 431 00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:43,946 - But this is the end of it... - Why? 432 00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:46,634 You know how many times I've jerked off thinking about you? 433 00:23:48,401 --> 00:23:51,165 - Well, half-sex. - The sunset of our relationship. 434 00:23:51,358 --> 00:23:52,318 What a shame. 435 00:23:53,201 --> 00:23:53,969 Look. 436 00:23:56,388 --> 00:23:59,998 Thank you, thank you. It's great that you all came. 437 00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:01,380 Well, he was Argentinian. 438 00:24:01,533 --> 00:24:03,492 I'm Ezequiel. I'm a musician. 439 00:24:03,645 --> 00:24:05,795 My mom always tells this story... 440 00:24:05,988 --> 00:24:08,983 When I was young, I was like 4 years old and sitting on the toilet 441 00:24:09,137 --> 00:24:11,941 and said to her "mom, mom" and she said "what, what". 442 00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:14,129 I want to express myself through music. 443 00:24:14,283 --> 00:24:17,240 I want applause, and to share what I have inside of me. 444 00:24:17,432 --> 00:24:20,581 And that's why when I act, I carry this cage with me 445 00:24:20,733 --> 00:24:25,150 because it represents everything we have to share from within us. 446 00:24:25,803 --> 00:24:28,183 And there was one day I went to go see a palm-reader 447 00:24:28,338 --> 00:24:30,718 who looked at the palm of my hand and tells me... 448 00:24:30,910 --> 00:24:32,714 Your life line is very broken. 449 00:24:33,253 --> 00:24:37,093 And I said, "but what does that mean?" "Tell me, tell me." 450 00:24:37,514 --> 00:24:38,283 And he said... 451 00:24:39,166 --> 00:24:40,625 Life is painful 452 00:24:42,545 --> 00:24:43,966 Life hurts 453 00:24:45,349 --> 00:24:47,653 That is all I can say 454 00:24:48,383 --> 00:24:51,223 That is all I can say... 455 00:25:38,111 --> 00:25:39,763 - Hi! - How's it going? 456 00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:41,374 I loved it. 457 00:25:41,990 --> 00:25:43,219 That's good! 458 00:25:43,372 --> 00:25:44,102 How's it going? 459 00:25:45,369 --> 00:25:47,212 - Did you like it? - Very much. A lot. 460 00:25:47,365 --> 00:25:49,171 Great, I'm glad to hear it. 461 00:25:49,324 --> 00:25:52,473 You look beautiful. You look great, stunning. 462 00:25:52,626 --> 00:25:55,084 - You want a beer? - No, I don't drink alcohol. 463 00:25:55,276 --> 00:25:57,734 Alcohol makes you swell up and leaves you walking like a ball 464 00:25:57,887 --> 00:25:59,731 and we can't walk through life like that. 465 00:25:59,885 --> 00:26:00,614 Obviously. 466 00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:03,302 Men today have to take care of themselves just like women do. 467 00:26:03,455 --> 00:26:04,800 - Totally, you know what I mean? - Totally... 468 00:26:04,992 --> 00:26:07,986 Every day I run 25 km., I wax my chest, 469 00:26:08,141 --> 00:26:10,982 I put cucumber masks over my face, and I feel fantastic... 470 00:26:11,135 --> 00:26:12,825 - Waiter! - May I take this away? 471 00:26:13,055 --> 00:26:13,785 Yes, please. 472 00:26:13,939 --> 00:26:15,091 - You going to drink anything else? - Yes... 473 00:26:15,245 --> 00:26:17,971 I would like sparkling water with lime and no ice. 474 00:26:18,277 --> 00:26:21,312 - Another beer for me. - I'm fine, nothing else. 475 00:26:23,424 --> 00:26:24,845 This guy is an idiot... 476 00:26:25,036 --> 00:26:26,765 You're beautiful... 477 00:26:26,956 --> 00:26:29,606 But he's handsome. A prototype of the XXI century man. 478 00:26:30,605 --> 00:26:32,716 Look at that, he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him... 479 00:26:33,139 --> 00:26:34,944 And Raquel laughs at all his jokes... 480 00:26:35,290 --> 00:26:36,825 If I were like him, 481 00:26:36,979 --> 00:26:39,821 I could say the same bullshit without the ladies thinking: 482 00:26:39,975 --> 00:26:42,585 What is this Neanderthal talking about? 483 00:26:44,391 --> 00:26:46,272 I'm heading out. 484 00:26:48,615 --> 00:26:49,536 You're going? 485 00:26:49,690 --> 00:26:52,455 I just remembered tomorrow I have an asphalt drag sled race. 486 00:26:52,608 --> 00:26:54,566 Some Filipino guy is going to blow it out of the water... 487 00:26:55,143 --> 00:26:57,293 But you stay... Stay for a while, won't you? 488 00:26:57,446 --> 00:26:58,406 - Yeah, stay, stay... - Stay. 489 00:26:58,561 --> 00:27:00,057 - Really? - Yes, of course, yes. 490 00:27:00,481 --> 00:27:04,397 - Of course. Dude, a pleasure. - Thanks. See you later. 491 00:27:04,590 --> 00:27:05,856 - See you tomorrow! - Okay! 492 00:27:09,888 --> 00:27:12,307 I'm on the right path, I feel it, but... 493 00:27:13,460 --> 00:27:14,457 it's not enough. 494 00:27:56,622 --> 00:27:57,352 Carlos. 495 00:27:57,965 --> 00:27:59,541 - Marcos. - Yes, Marcos. 496 00:27:59,694 --> 00:28:01,192 Listen... 497 00:28:01,346 --> 00:28:02,919 I know we haven't been able to talk since you started here, 498 00:28:03,112 --> 00:28:05,301 but next week, I'm throwing an incredible party 499 00:28:05,454 --> 00:28:07,144 for everyone in the basketball section. 500 00:28:08,411 --> 00:28:09,409 You should come. 501 00:28:10,024 --> 00:28:10,830 Okay. 502 00:28:12,943 --> 00:28:13,903 Marcos. 503 00:28:34,177 --> 00:28:35,867 I'm doing something... 504 00:28:36,021 --> 00:28:38,364 that I never thought I'd have the courage to do... 505 00:28:38,633 --> 00:28:41,781 The only thing is that it's for life. Besides, they're really trendy now. 506 00:28:42,972 --> 00:28:46,274 - What's the smallest one you have? - Do you trust me? 507 00:28:47,273 --> 00:28:49,537 I feel like Jasmine in Aladdin. Yes. 508 00:28:50,153 --> 00:28:52,572 You shouldn't, because I could get my revenge on you. 509 00:28:52,726 --> 00:28:54,069 Why are you taking revenge on me? 510 00:28:54,223 --> 00:28:56,642 Why did you leave me the other night with that idiot? 511 00:28:56,834 --> 00:28:59,714 Because he's an idiot, but he's your friend, you tolerate him. 512 00:28:59,867 --> 00:29:01,787 Besides, you were the one who wanted to stay. 513 00:29:01,942 --> 00:29:04,015 But I didn't want to stay really and since you left me... 514 00:29:04,168 --> 00:29:05,782 I had to sleep with him. 515 00:29:05,935 --> 00:29:08,086 Poor Raquel, you can't stop sleeping around... 516 00:29:08,316 --> 00:29:10,120 I promise you that listening to him was worse. 517 00:29:10,313 --> 00:29:11,311 So what do I do? 518 00:29:11,465 --> 00:29:14,191 Take this off and sit here. I'm going to do it free-hand. 519 00:29:14,345 --> 00:29:15,343 "Free-hand"? 520 00:29:15,727 --> 00:29:17,187 That sounds dirty. 521 00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:23,062 - I feel like I'm at the dentist now. - It's going to hurt more. 522 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,864 So, to make it up, 523 00:29:26,019 --> 00:29:27,939 this Friday I'm taking you to another concert 524 00:29:28,092 --> 00:29:30,972 - and this one I promise you'll like. - I can't this Friday. 525 00:29:31,125 --> 00:29:33,429 - Why not? - My boss, she invited me to a party... 526 00:29:33,583 --> 00:29:35,464 You're going to a party and you weren't going to invite me? 527 00:29:35,619 --> 00:29:37,232 It's not that I didn't want to invite you, but if you come, 528 00:29:37,384 --> 00:29:39,688 I can't focus on the target, which is to hook up... 529 00:29:40,073 --> 00:29:43,837 So you're completely sure that this Friday is your night. 530 00:29:43,989 --> 00:29:46,832 - Me hooking up is never for sure. - Who are you going with? 531 00:29:52,629 --> 00:29:53,628 - Hey... - What's up? 532 00:29:53,782 --> 00:29:56,470 He's my friend, but he's too good-looking. I can't take him. 533 00:29:56,623 --> 00:29:59,465 I need someone who makes me seem more than what I really am... 534 00:30:02,306 --> 00:30:03,383 Tomy! 535 00:30:07,453 --> 00:30:08,413 What did I do? 536 00:30:14,711 --> 00:30:15,901 Thanks, Marcos! 537 00:30:19,703 --> 00:30:21,123 I'm super excited... 538 00:30:21,316 --> 00:30:23,504 Check out this big screen, look. 539 00:30:28,689 --> 00:30:29,533 Marcos? 540 00:30:31,300 --> 00:30:33,949 When you go to a party, according to my influencer, 541 00:30:34,103 --> 00:30:36,253 if you want to leave the party with her, 542 00:30:36,406 --> 00:30:38,442 you have to avoid three big threats. 543 00:30:38,634 --> 00:30:41,283 Don't even think about going to the kitchen to find a beer 544 00:30:41,476 --> 00:30:44,471 and stand around talking about football with a group of guys. 545 00:30:45,354 --> 00:30:46,583 Never. 546 00:30:46,852 --> 00:30:49,770 I'm the intern. I help Marcos and... 547 00:30:52,151 --> 00:30:54,263 Watch how much you drink. 548 00:30:54,878 --> 00:30:57,143 I really need to pee... Just a sec, okay? 549 00:30:57,796 --> 00:31:02,903 And most of all, don't be near the ice when it runs out 550 00:31:03,057 --> 00:31:05,937 and the most beautiful girl at the party wants a drink. 551 00:31:06,091 --> 00:31:08,433 Give me a minute, okay? I'll go find some ice. 552 00:31:09,047 --> 00:31:09,931 Never. 553 00:31:12,196 --> 00:31:14,731 Guys! The ice! 554 00:31:14,923 --> 00:31:16,996 If you can avoid those three threats, 555 00:31:17,150 --> 00:31:19,569 then you can focus on what's really important. 556 00:31:19,761 --> 00:31:20,798 Looking for a girl. 557 00:31:24,715 --> 00:31:26,750 You looking for a track or are you looking 558 00:31:26,904 --> 00:31:28,094 at what kind of music I like? 559 00:31:28,247 --> 00:31:31,742 Yes, exactly. It's just that this chill out music seems a bit slow... 560 00:31:31,896 --> 00:31:34,162 But I see here that you have a really good playlist. 561 00:31:34,354 --> 00:31:37,694 Massive Attack, Radiohead... Daft Punk from the beginning... 562 00:31:37,847 --> 00:31:39,230 I have very good music. 563 00:31:40,651 --> 00:31:41,496 Marcos? 564 00:31:43,146 --> 00:31:44,222 I'll see you later. 565 00:31:44,530 --> 00:31:45,604 Ana? 566 00:31:46,296 --> 00:31:47,985 What the hell is she doing here? 567 00:31:48,370 --> 00:31:50,443 Don't be nervous... Come on... You can do it... 568 00:31:50,635 --> 00:31:53,554 God, my heart is going to explode... I'll have a heart attack here... 569 00:31:53,706 --> 00:31:54,783 What are you doing here? 570 00:31:55,435 --> 00:31:57,124 I came with a friend... 571 00:31:58,316 --> 00:32:00,696 What have you done? I almost don't recognize you... 572 00:32:00,850 --> 00:32:02,463 Ignore her, just ignore her. 573 00:32:02,616 --> 00:32:04,690 You are the same, as always. 574 00:32:05,957 --> 00:32:07,493 I see these last few months have been good for you. 575 00:32:07,684 --> 00:32:10,335 And you no longer dress like a teenager. 576 00:32:10,949 --> 00:32:12,024 No, I am a new man. 577 00:32:12,178 --> 00:32:14,636 I've changed. On the inside, too. I'm chang... 578 00:32:14,865 --> 00:32:16,517 What is she doing with her hand? I'm going to faint! 579 00:32:16,671 --> 00:32:18,514 Get your hand off... Get it off! 580 00:32:19,090 --> 00:32:22,316 She wants to hook up with me! Just ignore her! 581 00:32:23,583 --> 00:32:27,193 And who is that very beautiful woman you were talking to? 582 00:32:27,345 --> 00:32:30,187 Is she jealous, because...? Ignore her, damn it, ignore her. 583 00:32:30,534 --> 00:32:33,222 A friend. A friend from... 584 00:32:34,258 --> 00:32:35,602 How do I ignore her now? 585 00:32:37,676 --> 00:32:39,212 Of course, as I was telling you... 586 00:32:39,404 --> 00:32:41,939 So you want to keep talking or you want to go fuck? 587 00:32:42,323 --> 00:32:44,819 This wasn't planned for in my method. 588 00:32:46,355 --> 00:32:49,503 This is a song I wrote in London 589 00:32:49,848 --> 00:32:52,344 which I dedicated to love. 590 00:33:17,765 --> 00:33:21,875 My love, dear, kiss me again... 591 00:33:22,643 --> 00:33:26,866 My love, dear, kiss me again... slowly 592 00:33:27,021 --> 00:33:30,515 My love, dear, kiss me again... 593 00:33:31,859 --> 00:33:36,544 My love, dear, kiss me again... slowly 594 00:34:12,679 --> 00:34:14,638 Great! 595 00:34:14,791 --> 00:34:17,134 If you got this far following in my steps, 596 00:34:17,326 --> 00:34:19,514 that means your past is now behind you 597 00:34:19,667 --> 00:34:21,625 and you're a XXI century man. 598 00:34:21,780 --> 00:34:25,121 And also, you got laid. There you go! 599 00:34:26,426 --> 00:34:28,423 You take care of the caps and I'll get the machines? 600 00:34:28,577 --> 00:34:29,383 Sure... 601 00:34:30,113 --> 00:34:31,303 Good morning, I got laid! 602 00:34:32,225 --> 00:34:33,454 - Hi, Maria. - Hey! 603 00:34:33,646 --> 00:34:35,259 It didn't seem like it, it was all going to... 604 00:34:35,412 --> 00:34:37,447 But I did, I got laid. I got laid, and besides that, well. 605 00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:40,596 With this, that, and everything else... The whole thing. 606 00:34:40,749 --> 00:34:43,667 And you came here at 9 AM just to tell me that? 607 00:34:43,822 --> 00:34:45,819 Yes. No. She kicked me out of her house. 608 00:34:46,509 --> 00:34:49,313 - But I did want to come tell you. - And how was...? 609 00:34:49,736 --> 00:34:51,694 Getting laid? Man, I remembered... 610 00:34:51,886 --> 00:34:52,846 The girl, stupid. 611 00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:57,838 Just a regular girl. 612 00:34:57,992 --> 00:35:00,296 The point is I accomplished what I set out to do: 613 00:35:00,487 --> 00:35:02,600 to fuck. Well, twice. 614 00:35:02,753 --> 00:35:04,327 And get over your ex, right? 615 00:35:05,941 --> 00:35:07,706 - Great. - Really great... 616 00:35:08,090 --> 00:35:09,127 And the new girl, what? 617 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,007 Have you already proposed or you'll wait 8 years again? 618 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,541 What? Of course not. This was just a hook up, nothing else... 619 00:35:15,694 --> 00:35:17,422 I'm not going to get back together with her... 620 00:35:17,576 --> 00:35:20,226 I'm not going to do it again with her, that's what I mean. 621 00:35:20,955 --> 00:35:23,759 Because I won't. Not at all. I have to go. 622 00:35:23,912 --> 00:35:25,141 - Bye, Maria. - Bye... 623 00:35:27,023 --> 00:35:28,826 Where do you know that guy from? 624 00:35:28,981 --> 00:35:32,628 From school. I was hung up on him when I was 15. 625 00:35:32,783 --> 00:35:35,087 - He's not your type at all. - I know... 626 00:35:50,907 --> 00:35:53,288 Yes, I'm calling Ana. 627 00:35:53,481 --> 00:35:56,821 But it doesn't mean I want to get back together with her, alright? 628 00:35:56,975 --> 00:35:58,742 I'm just calling her to see how she is... 629 00:35:58,895 --> 00:35:59,894 - That's all. - Hi, it's Ana. 630 00:36:00,086 --> 00:36:02,006 It's simply the polite thing to do. 631 00:36:02,389 --> 00:36:04,847 When you hook up with a girl, you have to call her. 632 00:36:05,039 --> 00:36:08,380 Why? Because... you know. 633 00:36:09,033 --> 00:36:11,874 It's just standard procedure when you hook up with your ex. 634 00:36:12,027 --> 00:36:15,215 Ana? Hey, what's up? 635 00:36:15,867 --> 00:36:19,131 I was thinking that... We could grab something to eat? 636 00:36:20,168 --> 00:36:24,086 No? Okay then. It's no big deal. 637 00:36:24,278 --> 00:36:25,660 I didn't mean today though... 638 00:36:25,814 --> 00:36:29,078 If you can today... Hold on, let me think if I can. Yeah, today I can. 639 00:36:29,231 --> 00:36:31,420 I don't think I understand if you're saying 640 00:36:31,574 --> 00:36:33,648 that today you can't but you can another day 641 00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,835 or if today you could but really you don't want to. 642 00:36:37,027 --> 00:36:38,179 You don't want to. 643 00:36:38,332 --> 00:36:40,905 Okay. That's fine. 644 00:36:41,059 --> 00:36:42,748 Talk to you later. Yeah. Sure. 645 00:36:42,902 --> 00:36:44,246 Yeah, yeah. Bye. 646 00:36:47,932 --> 00:36:50,083 She must be really busy with her things... 647 00:36:51,427 --> 00:36:53,539 Have you thought about shaving your dick? 648 00:36:55,228 --> 00:36:58,108 Not recently, no, because, you shouldn't... 649 00:36:58,454 --> 00:37:00,106 What do you mean exactly? 650 00:37:00,259 --> 00:37:03,715 It's just that with all that stuff on, I can't really read your face. 651 00:37:04,252 --> 00:37:07,440 I mean your bush. Your afro down below. 652 00:37:07,708 --> 00:37:09,706 That grove of tendrils. 653 00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:13,008 I mean if you wax your fucking balls. 654 00:37:13,699 --> 00:37:14,812 Oh, that... 655 00:37:15,849 --> 00:37:17,002 No, no I don't. 656 00:37:17,308 --> 00:37:21,071 The ladies love it. I just got a Croatian bikini line wax. 657 00:37:21,226 --> 00:37:23,990 It's all the rage. Want to see? 658 00:37:38,352 --> 00:37:40,196 Marcos, explain this to me: 659 00:37:41,041 --> 00:37:45,034 "Sporting may be a Division 2 team, but the players' legs are Number 1." 660 00:37:45,841 --> 00:37:47,262 Wait, there's more. 661 00:37:47,415 --> 00:37:51,178 "The best part about the Elche win was seeing the striker's magnificent abs 662 00:37:51,369 --> 00:37:53,022 when he pulled off his shirt while celebrating the goal." 663 00:37:53,175 --> 00:37:55,670 Why the fuck would you be talking about anybody's abs? 664 00:37:55,825 --> 00:37:57,706 Do you want to get fired? Are we insane? 665 00:37:58,550 --> 00:38:00,356 - You. - Lorena, wait... 666 00:38:00,509 --> 00:38:02,276 You're the one behind the Twitter comments from Second? 667 00:38:02,429 --> 00:38:05,309 It's him, but this kid is just going through a rough time... 668 00:38:05,463 --> 00:38:06,269 I don't care. 669 00:38:06,653 --> 00:38:10,455 I could care less if it were a mistake, or if soccer players make you horny. 670 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:12,836 What we have here is a trending topic. 671 00:38:12,989 --> 00:38:14,718 - What? - Yes, dear, yes. 672 00:38:14,871 --> 00:38:17,137 So as of tomorrow you'll change positions 673 00:38:17,329 --> 00:38:19,595 and you start to cover the games from First. 674 00:38:19,825 --> 00:38:23,435 And of course, you'll have a 10% raise. 675 00:38:23,588 --> 00:38:25,739 If that's not good enough, too bad. 676 00:38:31,077 --> 00:38:33,072 What do I know, what do I know... 677 00:38:33,342 --> 00:38:35,069 You never know anything. 678 00:38:35,530 --> 00:38:36,837 Go fuck yourself. 679 00:38:57,189 --> 00:38:59,224 Have you ever sang in the street? 680 00:38:59,378 --> 00:39:00,223 A thousand times! 681 00:39:00,376 --> 00:39:03,064 It's the best way to get used to people ignoring you. 682 00:39:03,218 --> 00:39:07,020 They don't ignore you. They mock you, insult you, throw chewed up food... 683 00:39:07,211 --> 00:39:09,362 But then, when you get up on the stage... 684 00:39:09,669 --> 00:39:12,741 They applaud you! It's... amazing. 685 00:39:13,470 --> 00:39:16,312 I just don't get how you stand up in front of people singing, 686 00:39:16,466 --> 00:39:19,385 and actually enjoy it. I would freak out. With you. 687 00:39:23,953 --> 00:39:25,721 - Is that for me? - No... 688 00:39:25,873 --> 00:39:27,986 Because I don't know if it would get along with my dragons. 689 00:39:28,140 --> 00:39:29,790 Yeah... Let's go. 690 00:39:33,516 --> 00:39:34,937 It's for that girl! 691 00:39:36,550 --> 00:39:39,161 But didn't you tell me it was just a hook up? 692 00:39:39,313 --> 00:39:43,116 Yeah, but tomorrow is her birthday and I should get her something. 693 00:39:43,961 --> 00:39:46,150 How do you know that her birthday is tomorrow? 694 00:39:46,303 --> 00:39:47,379 Because she told me. 695 00:39:48,185 --> 00:39:50,872 But you told me you hardly had any time to talk, 696 00:39:51,027 --> 00:39:52,870 that she practically jumped on you. 697 00:39:53,023 --> 00:39:54,790 - Yeah, but... - How did she tell you? 698 00:39:54,982 --> 00:39:56,441 While you were doing it? 699 00:39:57,823 --> 00:39:58,668 What? 700 00:40:00,434 --> 00:40:02,086 - What's wrong with you? - Oh yes! 701 00:40:03,391 --> 00:40:05,081 You're amazing, young Marcos! 702 00:40:06,617 --> 00:40:10,918 By the way, did I tell you that my birthday is November 15th? 703 00:40:12,377 --> 00:40:14,297 - I'm a Sagittarius! - Scorpio. 704 00:40:14,872 --> 00:40:16,792 With a Taurus... 705 00:40:19,289 --> 00:40:20,365 ascendant! 706 00:40:22,745 --> 00:40:23,474 Something like that? 707 00:40:23,629 --> 00:40:26,509 - A bit more calm, but pretty close. - Great. 708 00:40:26,662 --> 00:40:30,810 Excuse me, could you do that again but at the end say Libra? Please. 709 00:40:31,002 --> 00:40:34,880 - We need to be at the zoo by 4. - Please, I'll pay you 20 euros! 30! 710 00:40:35,954 --> 00:40:38,605 You just made me lose 30 euros. 711 00:40:38,758 --> 00:40:39,911 Run, run, he's coming. 712 00:40:52,735 --> 00:40:55,962 Hi, it's Ana. Leave a message and I'll call you back. Thanks. 713 00:41:08,058 --> 00:41:10,439 Diego, watch the plant, man. It'll get smashed. 714 00:41:16,813 --> 00:41:17,927 What's up? Come on. 715 00:41:19,962 --> 00:41:22,727 I've just been thinking about something for a few days. 716 00:41:23,764 --> 00:41:24,915 You're with someone. 717 00:41:25,070 --> 00:41:29,293 What? But... How could I be with anyone, with someone? 718 00:41:29,486 --> 00:41:30,522 Let's see, man. 719 00:41:30,675 --> 00:41:33,287 For a month now you haven't been a pain in the ass about your ex 720 00:41:33,441 --> 00:41:35,745 and that can only mean that you've gotten over your ex, 721 00:41:35,899 --> 00:41:38,011 and if you've gotten over her, it's because you're with someone. 722 00:41:38,203 --> 00:41:41,312 - Crystal clear. - No, no... It's not like that... 723 00:41:43,232 --> 00:41:47,072 I knew it. My little rascal. Do I know her? 724 00:41:47,227 --> 00:41:48,992 You don't know her. Why would you know her? 725 00:41:49,147 --> 00:41:52,526 Okay, fine. Welcome to the world of the living. 726 00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:53,563 How was the blowjob? 727 00:41:53,715 --> 00:41:57,632 Diego, look, I have a ton of things to put away. 728 00:41:57,787 --> 00:41:59,323 It's fine, I'll leave you in peace. 729 00:41:59,476 --> 00:42:02,088 The important thing here is that you've finally told your ex 730 00:42:02,241 --> 00:42:03,392 to go fuck herself. 731 00:42:03,624 --> 00:42:06,120 Everything else is meaningless, I told you so. Champ. 732 00:42:06,272 --> 00:42:07,041 Champ. 733 00:42:10,190 --> 00:42:12,341 Did you buy me the creams I asked for? 734 00:42:13,032 --> 00:42:13,876 Yes. 735 00:42:14,798 --> 00:42:16,181 And I brought you something else. 736 00:42:17,486 --> 00:42:18,907 Korean face masks. 737 00:42:19,137 --> 00:42:20,712 Have you seen the skin Koreans have? 738 00:42:20,866 --> 00:42:23,092 I've seen it while I watch ping pong tournaments. It's so matte. 739 00:42:23,285 --> 00:42:25,781 Look at mine. Nice, right? 740 00:42:25,972 --> 00:42:27,892 - Yeah... - Take this. Here's one for you. 741 00:42:32,923 --> 00:42:35,381 Did you end up buying that for the girl? 742 00:42:35,572 --> 00:42:37,454 We haven't seen each other much lately. 743 00:42:37,647 --> 00:42:38,836 So, she doesn't pay any attention to you? 744 00:42:38,991 --> 00:42:40,833 I'm not going to beat myself up over it.. 745 00:42:40,988 --> 00:42:43,791 She doesn't want to meet up? We don't. That's it, her loss. 746 00:42:44,328 --> 00:42:46,593 We're all adults now. 747 00:42:49,435 --> 00:42:50,204 What? 748 00:42:50,356 --> 00:42:52,392 Nothing, it's just that I don't get why she slept with me. 749 00:42:52,546 --> 00:42:53,929 And she was grinding on me. 750 00:42:54,082 --> 00:42:57,884 If you grind, it means you want to fuck again. Why isn't she calling? 751 00:42:58,612 --> 00:43:00,073 Can you pass me that dragon? 752 00:43:01,801 --> 00:43:04,028 Last time she told me: "I'll call you". 753 00:43:04,681 --> 00:43:05,948 What does that mean? 754 00:43:06,102 --> 00:43:08,022 The last time? How many times have you called her? 755 00:43:08,213 --> 00:43:11,593 Once... five, ten, fifteen times. Last week. 756 00:43:12,860 --> 00:43:14,626 Would you pass me the dragon or should I just get it? 757 00:43:15,087 --> 00:43:17,007 I'll pick it up for you doing a squat. 758 00:43:17,161 --> 00:43:18,197 A what? 759 00:43:18,351 --> 00:43:21,538 It's something you would know if you did CrossFit. 760 00:43:21,769 --> 00:43:22,498 Look. 761 00:43:23,995 --> 00:43:26,185 Grab it like this and put your legs back. 762 00:43:27,260 --> 00:43:28,028 Fuck... 763 00:43:33,328 --> 00:43:35,785 - I'll get your discharge papers ready. - Okay. 764 00:43:44,693 --> 00:43:47,766 - What did they tell you? - I have a herniated disc... 765 00:43:48,189 --> 00:43:49,072 A what? 766 00:43:49,993 --> 00:43:53,526 A herniated disc from prolonged strain with no criteria. 767 00:43:55,714 --> 00:43:58,018 I don't know why you do so much weight lifting... 768 00:43:58,672 --> 00:44:03,778 No, I know. It's for that mystery girl of yours that doesn't even notice you. 769 00:44:04,010 --> 00:44:06,314 She's not my girl, she isn't a mystery and I don't do it for her. 770 00:44:06,467 --> 00:44:09,232 - What are you doing in a wheelchair? - They gave it to me to take you home. 771 00:44:09,770 --> 00:44:11,690 But I can stand up and walk. 772 00:44:12,227 --> 00:44:14,914 - But this wheelchair is way cooler. - Can you give me that chair back? 773 00:44:15,069 --> 00:44:18,064 I already told you not to take it, it belongs to a patient. 774 00:44:21,213 --> 00:44:23,248 I was going to give it back next week... 775 00:44:27,050 --> 00:44:27,855 Hi. 776 00:44:28,048 --> 00:44:28,815 Today? 777 00:44:31,466 --> 00:44:34,884 You caught me in the middle of work, I'll let you know later, ok? 778 00:44:35,152 --> 00:44:36,534 Yeah, bye. 779 00:44:39,031 --> 00:44:39,875 Was it her? 780 00:44:42,256 --> 00:44:43,715 Are you going to meet her? 781 00:44:43,869 --> 00:44:45,405 How am I supposed to meet her? Just look at me... 782 00:44:45,558 --> 00:44:48,093 You're going to meet her and I'll be the one going to her house, 783 00:44:48,285 --> 00:44:50,589 getting you out of bed, naked, and bringing you back to the ER. 784 00:44:50,781 --> 00:44:52,701 I'm not going to meet her! I don't care what she says. 785 00:44:52,894 --> 00:44:54,313 - You're going to meet her. - No, I won't. 786 00:44:54,468 --> 00:44:57,078 - You're going to meet... - If I say no, I mean no. 787 00:44:58,769 --> 00:45:00,266 Hold on to me tighter. 788 00:45:01,534 --> 00:45:02,762 Come on, tight like that. 789 00:45:03,722 --> 00:45:06,833 - Just a little time out? - Are you okay? 790 00:45:06,987 --> 00:45:09,790 - I'm great, I'm very good. - Get on top. 791 00:45:11,094 --> 00:45:14,819 - On top? Fine. On the side? - No, on top. 792 00:45:15,051 --> 00:45:15,818 Okay. 793 00:45:23,691 --> 00:45:25,418 - I'm coming. - Come on. 794 00:45:34,289 --> 00:45:36,286 - Come on, harder! - I'm getting there... 795 00:45:38,397 --> 00:45:39,512 Come on! 796 00:45:41,354 --> 00:45:43,045 What? You already finished? 797 00:45:43,620 --> 00:45:44,888 Perhaps. 798 00:45:45,387 --> 00:45:48,690 - Don't leave me like this. - I won't leave you like that. No... 799 00:45:49,418 --> 00:45:51,954 You'll see what I'm about to do. 800 00:46:09,925 --> 00:46:12,036 - Hello. - Hello. 801 00:46:13,804 --> 00:46:15,915 - You went, didn't you? - Indeed I did. 802 00:46:17,490 --> 00:46:18,180 And? 803 00:46:20,754 --> 00:46:21,791 I really hurt myself. 804 00:46:25,669 --> 00:46:27,129 She could have killed me. 805 00:46:27,282 --> 00:46:28,434 I've brought you a gift. 806 00:46:30,776 --> 00:46:34,348 I don't even know why I ask but, you didn't buy this food, did you? 807 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:35,845 No, it's from a VIP room 808 00:46:35,998 --> 00:46:39,033 but I promise no nurses saw me this time. 809 00:46:39,186 --> 00:46:40,530 That's reassuring. 810 00:46:40,684 --> 00:46:44,255 I can take it back, but it was from an old man who didn't even have teeth. 811 00:46:44,447 --> 00:46:47,135 No, without any teeth, there's no point. What's the shoe for? 812 00:46:47,327 --> 00:46:48,210 To open the bottle. 813 00:46:48,364 --> 00:46:50,745 - Does it open like that? - Theoretically. 814 00:46:56,812 --> 00:46:58,732 It worked! 815 00:47:36,250 --> 00:47:38,131 Are you plucking your eyebrows? 816 00:47:38,285 --> 00:47:40,741 I'm making sure that they don't grow into a unibrow. 817 00:47:46,617 --> 00:47:49,229 Look, Marcos, I've been thinking about something. 818 00:47:50,879 --> 00:47:52,147 What have you thought? 819 00:47:53,836 --> 00:47:56,217 I think you need a guys' night out. 820 00:47:56,410 --> 00:47:59,519 I mean, nights like we used to have. Beers, guys, and soccer. 821 00:47:59,674 --> 00:48:01,709 Yeah, it's been so long since we've done that. 822 00:48:01,862 --> 00:48:05,165 Exactly. That's settled. Problem solved. 823 00:48:05,740 --> 00:48:08,544 - Tonight we'll hang out at my house. - Okay. 824 00:48:08,736 --> 00:48:09,927 See you later, big guy. 825 00:48:14,305 --> 00:48:15,226 Okay. 826 00:48:17,185 --> 00:48:18,297 Guys, get over here, 827 00:48:18,490 --> 00:48:20,257 - the second half is about to start. - Coming. 828 00:48:20,449 --> 00:48:23,329 Before, for example, you'd invite them for a drink, and that was it, 829 00:48:23,481 --> 00:48:25,440 now they ask you out, and you don't have the moral strength 830 00:48:25,594 --> 00:48:26,516 to get them into bed with you. 831 00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:29,012 - If you open the door for them... - You're a chauvinist. 832 00:48:29,166 --> 00:48:30,356 And if not, you're rude. 833 00:48:30,510 --> 00:48:31,969 You don't know how to connect with them. 834 00:48:32,121 --> 00:48:33,889 We no longer have a model of masculinity to follow. 835 00:48:34,041 --> 00:48:38,342 Then you gotta smell good, be funny, dress well, know how to cook... 836 00:48:38,574 --> 00:48:41,646 I've already taken three cooking classes just to keep up. 837 00:48:41,798 --> 00:48:42,452 Seriously? 838 00:48:42,606 --> 00:48:45,332 Asian cooking, Japanese, and now I'm taking one on desserts. 839 00:48:45,486 --> 00:48:47,675 I love that one but I'm getting a little... 840 00:48:47,905 --> 00:48:50,516 And you keep having this feeling like you're still not there yet? 841 00:48:50,670 --> 00:48:52,705 Wait until we take the Thermomix class... 842 00:48:52,897 --> 00:48:55,048 Diego, could you turn down the volume a bit? 843 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:58,004 Come on, that's enough! Go fuck yourselves. 844 00:48:58,157 --> 00:49:00,077 Come on, go home. 845 00:49:00,232 --> 00:49:01,691 - What's wrong? - Go chit chat elsewhere. 846 00:49:01,844 --> 00:49:04,033 - I'm sick of this. - What's going on? 847 00:49:04,187 --> 00:49:06,952 Come on, time to leave. That's enough. There's the door. 848 00:49:07,105 --> 00:49:08,910 Go fuck yourself. 849 00:49:09,063 --> 00:49:10,753 No, you stay. 850 00:49:10,907 --> 00:49:13,249 Bye. See you later. 851 00:49:14,094 --> 00:49:15,937 - What's going on? - What the hell is up with you? 852 00:49:16,129 --> 00:49:18,357 Nothing's wrong with me. Why are you so pissed off? 853 00:49:18,510 --> 00:49:20,199 I'm pissed off because I don't recognize you, Marcos. 854 00:49:20,354 --> 00:49:21,890 I look at you and I don't know who you are. 855 00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:24,423 Don't tell me this has to do with those articles? 856 00:49:24,578 --> 00:49:26,881 Because of the articles, because you're sharing recipes, 857 00:49:27,035 --> 00:49:29,685 because you're plucking your eyebrows, where is all this going! 858 00:49:29,837 --> 00:49:32,218 You're not even watching the game, which was the whole point. 859 00:49:32,411 --> 00:49:34,946 - I'm watching the game. - Really? How's it going? 860 00:49:36,098 --> 00:49:38,938 - It's going well. - You've turned into a woman. 861 00:49:47,618 --> 00:49:50,728 Why is it that when men insult each other they compare you to us? 862 00:49:50,881 --> 00:49:52,839 - It's terrible. - No idea, I don't do that. 863 00:49:52,994 --> 00:49:55,490 It's true that I'm doing things that before I thought were nonsense, 864 00:49:55,643 --> 00:49:58,984 just to try it, but plucking or whatever, cooking, exercising, 865 00:49:59,215 --> 00:50:00,481 aren't strictly things a man or woman does. 866 00:50:00,636 --> 00:50:03,209 Just listen to yourself and you know for sure you are a man 867 00:50:03,361 --> 00:50:06,050 - in every sense of the word. - What does that mean? 868 00:50:06,434 --> 00:50:08,622 For starters, you're a whiner. 869 00:50:08,853 --> 00:50:12,001 - I'm a whiner? - You are. All of you. 870 00:50:12,348 --> 00:50:14,729 But you at least laugh at yourself, and that's a good thing. 871 00:50:14,881 --> 00:50:16,572 I have plenty of reasons to, that's for sure. 872 00:50:16,726 --> 00:50:18,646 - This is why you wanted to see me? - No. 873 00:50:19,030 --> 00:50:20,718 I brought you here because since we've become friends 874 00:50:20,873 --> 00:50:22,486 I've been remembering a lot of things from our time at school. 875 00:50:22,638 --> 00:50:24,904 I used to sit here, with my black hoodie, 876 00:50:25,058 --> 00:50:27,094 - with my discman... - The discman! 877 00:50:27,247 --> 00:50:30,972 I'd listen to a lot of depressing songs and be the bad guy here. 878 00:50:31,510 --> 00:50:34,774 I'd wallow in how bad life treated me until the sun would go down. 879 00:50:36,462 --> 00:50:37,960 Isn't this place beautiful? 880 00:51:08,566 --> 00:51:10,794 The first time I had sex with my first girlfriend 881 00:51:11,254 --> 00:51:13,174 she cracked up when she came. 882 00:51:15,286 --> 00:51:17,936 I had never done this and so I thought: 883 00:51:18,090 --> 00:51:19,549 "I guess this is normal..." 884 00:51:19,740 --> 00:51:22,237 And so I started to laugh as well, like an idiot. 885 00:51:22,391 --> 00:51:24,962 - To go along with it! - To not ruin the mood. 886 00:51:25,385 --> 00:51:27,651 She started laughing all the time and I got used to it. 887 00:51:27,804 --> 00:51:29,378 The problem was when she dumped me 888 00:51:29,571 --> 00:51:31,376 and I started hooking up with other girls who didn't laugh 889 00:51:31,530 --> 00:51:35,561 I always thought that it was me who was bad at sex. 890 00:51:35,716 --> 00:51:37,328 And how many girlfriends have you had? 891 00:51:37,481 --> 00:51:40,016 Girlfriends, three. Three hook ups as well. And you? 892 00:51:40,208 --> 00:51:41,399 Hook ups, a lot. 893 00:51:41,552 --> 00:51:43,625 Boyfriends, like those you go to the movies with 894 00:51:43,779 --> 00:51:46,007 and go on holidays, not many... 895 00:51:46,852 --> 00:51:49,770 - My first was when I was 16... - What? 16! That's not true. 896 00:51:49,923 --> 00:51:51,153 At that age, girls wouldn't even let us grope them. 897 00:51:51,305 --> 00:51:52,841 I did. I liked it. 898 00:51:53,956 --> 00:51:56,604 Where would I be... Hooking up with my ex. 899 00:52:01,636 --> 00:52:05,245 I dunno, the thing with long relationships... It's like... 900 00:52:05,630 --> 00:52:07,550 I just don't do well with it. 901 00:52:07,741 --> 00:52:10,121 - It doesn't work for me, I don't know. - Why not? 902 00:52:10,276 --> 00:52:14,577 I dunno. The longest relationship I've had is with music. 903 00:52:15,421 --> 00:52:17,918 No one has ever made me feel the same way. 904 00:52:18,224 --> 00:52:20,259 I swear, though, I feel it in my vagina. 905 00:52:21,603 --> 00:52:23,024 It's good to feel it there. 906 00:52:26,097 --> 00:52:26,864 What? 907 00:52:27,096 --> 00:52:29,016 - A ball-grabber? - A what? 908 00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:31,779 You remember? Ball-grabber! 909 00:52:42,110 --> 00:52:45,297 I haven't done this in... Who knows. 910 00:52:45,451 --> 00:52:46,334 Me neither. 911 00:53:20,434 --> 00:53:22,161 - The Proclaimers! - No! 912 00:53:22,622 --> 00:53:25,003 - The track I recorded for you! - Awesome! 913 00:53:25,157 --> 00:53:26,232 Come with me! 914 00:53:27,653 --> 00:53:28,498 Come up here! 915 00:53:29,036 --> 00:53:29,726 - I can't! - Come on! 916 00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:30,917 I can't, I can't. 917 00:53:31,071 --> 00:53:34,489 Why? No one knows you here, it doesn't matter! 918 00:53:36,178 --> 00:53:38,098 - I can't. - Come on! 919 00:53:47,276 --> 00:53:49,234 Come! Don't leave me here alone. 920 00:53:50,194 --> 00:53:53,342 It's greater than me. I can't. I'd die of shame. 921 00:53:55,378 --> 00:53:58,066 I'd panic. I can't dance. It can't happen. 922 00:54:08,165 --> 00:54:09,163 Marcos! 923 00:54:11,891 --> 00:54:13,503 Why didn't you answer your phone? 924 00:54:13,696 --> 00:54:16,921 - Because I'm really busy... - Hi, I'm Ana. 925 00:54:18,572 --> 00:54:19,456 Ana? 926 00:54:20,645 --> 00:54:23,141 I'm Raquel, a friend. But I was just about to leave. 927 00:54:23,334 --> 00:54:25,484 - No... - It's okay, see you later. 928 00:54:27,059 --> 00:54:28,518 Come on, let's have a drink. 929 00:54:41,882 --> 00:54:42,995 Hold on, hold on. 930 00:54:43,148 --> 00:54:45,221 Don't take off your clothes, please. 931 00:54:45,414 --> 00:54:46,336 What's wrong? 932 00:54:48,179 --> 00:54:50,598 It's just that... I'm a little tired of this. 933 00:54:51,788 --> 00:54:55,743 Us having sex and being kind of together again, I don't think... 934 00:54:55,936 --> 00:54:58,124 Marcos, you never understand anything... 935 00:54:59,583 --> 00:55:02,924 - You and I aren't together. - I know that, of course. Not at all. 936 00:55:03,079 --> 00:55:05,498 - But if we keep doing this... - I'm getting married. 937 00:55:05,651 --> 00:55:07,187 - You what? - I'm getting married. 938 00:55:07,802 --> 00:55:11,220 I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how... 939 00:55:12,602 --> 00:55:16,634 My boyfriend has been in Berlin for a while but is coming back tomorrow. 940 00:55:19,322 --> 00:55:20,359 Motherfucker! 941 00:55:20,513 --> 00:55:22,163 That's what I should have told her. 942 00:55:22,317 --> 00:55:25,351 Mother... how do you say "motherfucker" in your language? 943 00:55:26,502 --> 00:55:28,768 "Nijamada..." is what I should have told her. 944 00:55:28,922 --> 00:55:31,763 But instead... instead of that, I go and say... 945 00:55:31,917 --> 00:55:35,642 I'm glad you're fine. 946 00:55:36,257 --> 00:55:38,406 I know, and... 947 00:55:41,172 --> 00:55:43,054 are you going to come to the wedding? 948 00:55:47,854 --> 00:55:48,928 Most likely... 949 00:55:49,427 --> 00:55:50,387 Yes, of course. 950 00:55:51,156 --> 00:55:52,078 Thank you. 951 00:55:57,107 --> 00:55:59,603 I'm such an idiot! How do you say "idiot"? 952 00:56:00,795 --> 00:56:02,753 "Nijuantan", the biggest one of all. 953 00:56:03,405 --> 00:56:04,403 And you know what? 954 00:56:06,516 --> 00:56:07,283 It's over. 955 00:56:08,014 --> 00:56:11,085 I really mean it. It's over, tell her to fuck off! 956 00:56:11,700 --> 00:56:13,236 I don't want anything, thanks. 957 00:57:44,822 --> 00:57:48,355 STUPID 958 00:57:53,078 --> 00:57:55,266 - What are we looking for? - Look, this one... 959 00:57:55,459 --> 00:57:56,419 Let's see, which one? 960 00:57:56,572 --> 00:57:59,029 It's a shoe box... Look inside, look inside. 961 00:57:59,260 --> 00:57:59,913 Here? 962 00:58:00,104 --> 00:58:02,333 With cassette tapes and other music things. 963 00:58:02,485 --> 00:58:04,061 Not that one, these are my sewing things. 964 00:58:04,214 --> 00:58:06,210 Look, really. You wanna get up here? 965 00:58:06,364 --> 00:58:08,438 - Come on, get down. - No, you get up here. 966 00:58:08,591 --> 00:58:10,896 Of course! Take a look. 967 00:58:12,469 --> 00:58:15,004 I'm telling you it's not here... 968 00:58:15,158 --> 00:58:17,616 But it has to be somewhere. Because then... 969 00:58:17,769 --> 00:58:19,765 - Careful. - Now look at what I've done. 970 00:58:32,207 --> 00:58:35,357 TWEET ME 971 00:59:05,885 --> 00:59:09,879 WE'RE GETTING MARRIED ANA AND LUIS MIGUEL 972 00:59:13,834 --> 00:59:16,368 So all this time you've been having sex with your ex, 973 00:59:16,522 --> 00:59:18,250 who has obviously been using you, 974 00:59:18,404 --> 00:59:20,170 and she is marrying someone else now. 975 00:59:20,478 --> 00:59:21,323 Kind of a bitch. 976 00:59:21,476 --> 00:59:24,663 A bit of a bitch, but you're an idiot. 977 00:59:24,817 --> 00:59:26,238 And you know what kills me? 978 00:59:26,390 --> 00:59:29,846 Ana has been leading me on, but I've done the same to Raquel. 979 00:59:30,039 --> 00:59:32,112 - Who is Raquel? - A friend. 980 00:59:32,343 --> 00:59:35,684 - At least tell me she's hot. - She's hot, but it's not like that. 981 00:59:37,066 --> 00:59:40,139 We ran into each other a while back but we've been friends since school. 982 00:59:40,291 --> 00:59:42,097 She was my friend's little sister 983 00:59:43,096 --> 00:59:45,784 and she was always asking me to record songs for her. 984 00:59:45,937 --> 00:59:47,050 We liked the same bands... 985 00:59:47,204 --> 00:59:49,739 Dude, you idiot... You've completely fallen for her... 986 00:59:49,892 --> 00:59:51,888 That's all we needed. 987 00:59:52,043 --> 00:59:53,617 You know what you have to do. 988 00:59:53,770 --> 00:59:56,536 I know, get on a bunch of apps and hook up with lots of women. 989 00:59:56,688 --> 00:59:59,723 But you know what's wrong? That doesn't work for me. 990 01:00:01,835 --> 01:00:02,718 I'm going home. 991 01:00:03,332 --> 01:00:06,826 Go home, because you need to focus a bit. 992 01:00:10,090 --> 01:00:14,852 HOW TO STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE 993 01:00:25,682 --> 01:00:28,446 Thanks for choosing the greatest self-help channel 994 01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:29,637 in all the Hispanic world. 995 01:00:29,828 --> 01:00:32,056 Because when you need help, you can you turn to? 996 01:00:32,209 --> 01:00:33,439 Family? Friend... 997 01:00:49,337 --> 01:00:50,220 Hi. 998 01:00:50,372 --> 01:00:53,445 Hi Raquel, you got some flowers with a card. 999 01:00:54,444 --> 01:00:56,286 Look, I think that this design, 1000 01:00:56,709 --> 01:00:59,128 if we cut the flower, it would fit perfectly... 1001 01:01:07,078 --> 01:01:09,726 "Among all the things you hate, I think there is room for me. 1002 01:01:09,881 --> 01:01:12,761 Tomorrow, I have a work party. I'd like you to come. 1003 01:01:12,914 --> 01:01:15,103 P.S.: If you don't want to come, I'll understand. 1004 01:01:15,257 --> 01:01:16,869 P.S.S.: But please come..." 1005 01:01:39,181 --> 01:01:40,563 - I loved Nadal's tweet. - Yeah? 1006 01:01:40,717 --> 01:01:42,213 - You're about to take off. - Well... 1007 01:01:42,367 --> 01:01:43,366 How do you do it? 1008 01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:45,901 - What's up guys? - How's it going? 1009 01:01:46,053 --> 01:01:48,205 - Good, could we talk for a moment? - Of course. 1010 01:01:48,358 --> 01:01:49,203 Alone. 1011 01:01:50,930 --> 01:01:52,889 There are two things I want to ask you. 1012 01:01:53,043 --> 01:01:55,923 - First, do you speak English? - Yeah... I mean, of course. 1013 01:01:56,077 --> 01:01:57,920 Good, because next week you're going to London. 1014 01:01:58,073 --> 01:01:59,110 - Really? - Yes. 1015 01:01:59,302 --> 01:02:01,990 The bosses want you to do a "Tweet Me" with the Premier League games. 1016 01:02:02,183 --> 01:02:04,179 - Great. - And secondly: let's fuck? 1017 01:02:04,601 --> 01:02:08,634 Let's eat? Thing is, I was snacking... Wait, you said "let's eat?" 1018 01:02:08,864 --> 01:02:11,783 No. I said let's fuck. 1019 01:02:13,011 --> 01:02:14,740 You know how this will end. 1020 01:02:14,892 --> 01:02:16,698 - A Christmas gift. - A big one. 1021 01:02:20,423 --> 01:02:21,843 - Hi. - Hi. 1022 01:02:21,997 --> 01:02:25,261 - Can I help you? - Yeah, thanks, I'm looking for Marcos. 1023 01:02:25,568 --> 01:02:27,220 - You must be Raquel. - Yes. 1024 01:02:28,026 --> 01:02:28,756 I'm Diego. 1025 01:02:29,446 --> 01:02:31,981 - The Macho Alpha male. - Well... 1026 01:02:32,134 --> 01:02:34,977 Excuse me, Marcos Garrido is at the end of the hall to the right... 1027 01:02:35,129 --> 01:02:35,783 No, no. Tomy. 1028 01:02:35,937 --> 01:02:37,549 In the room with the garbage bins. 1029 01:02:37,741 --> 01:02:38,701 - There? - Yes, in there. 1030 01:02:38,854 --> 01:02:41,849 Tomy, you're wrong. He's not here yet. No, Raquel. Wait! 1031 01:02:43,310 --> 01:02:46,343 No, Lorena. There's been a mistake here. No, really... 1032 01:02:46,497 --> 01:02:49,223 - You and your big mouth, Tomy... - What did I do now? 1033 01:02:49,991 --> 01:02:51,066 I said no... 1034 01:03:06,887 --> 01:03:07,693 Raquel! 1035 01:03:09,499 --> 01:03:10,305 Raquel! 1036 01:03:12,570 --> 01:03:13,377 What? 1037 01:03:14,798 --> 01:03:15,680 Nothing happened. 1038 01:03:17,447 --> 01:03:19,290 Fuck, everything is screwed up. 1039 01:03:20,135 --> 01:03:22,208 Lorena is my boss, I don't like her. 1040 01:03:22,362 --> 01:03:24,359 You can fuck whoever you want. 1041 01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:29,582 But what I don't get is why you even invited me to this party. 1042 01:03:30,581 --> 01:03:31,924 Well, that's exactly... 1043 01:03:33,192 --> 01:03:36,379 Look, what I wanted, today... 1044 01:03:38,952 --> 01:03:41,064 I mean, what I want... 1045 01:03:41,755 --> 01:03:42,830 What? 1046 01:03:43,291 --> 01:03:44,942 What do you want, Marcos? 1047 01:04:15,586 --> 01:04:17,929 - A bit messed up, right? - What is a bit messed up? 1048 01:04:18,081 --> 01:04:21,116 Calm down, the one who went to the trash room to fuck was you. 1049 01:04:21,346 --> 01:04:23,036 Screw fucking, that has nothing to do with this! 1050 01:04:23,266 --> 01:04:24,724 Why do you only think about fucking? 1051 01:04:24,879 --> 01:04:27,375 Don't freak out. Even though you've changed your hairstyle 1052 01:04:27,529 --> 01:04:30,063 and bought four shirts, you're still the same loser as always. 1053 01:04:30,217 --> 01:04:32,022 Calm down, guys. I've got a solution. 1054 01:04:32,175 --> 01:04:33,826 If you want to patch things up with that girl, 1055 01:04:33,980 --> 01:04:35,785 tomorrow there is a Thermomix demonstration. 1056 01:04:35,938 --> 01:04:38,319 - It's like the new Ferrari for women! - It's the new nothing! 1057 01:04:38,511 --> 01:04:40,585 Besides, what do you know about women. 1058 01:04:40,738 --> 01:04:42,735 Speak for yourself, we're doing alright here. 1059 01:04:42,889 --> 01:04:45,615 Yes, you're awesome. How long have you been after Susana? 1060 01:04:46,307 --> 01:04:47,343 A month. 1061 01:04:47,497 --> 01:04:49,800 My balls one month! A year of begging her, at least. 1062 01:04:49,993 --> 01:04:50,953 And what have you landed? 1063 01:04:51,145 --> 01:04:54,332 I think we are laying out a solid base for the future... 1064 01:04:54,485 --> 01:04:57,020 And as you do that, you know who brought in his crane? This one. 1065 01:04:57,174 --> 01:04:58,940 - What? - What are you saying? 1066 01:04:59,094 --> 01:05:01,243 Mariano, how are things with Elena? Good? 1067 01:05:02,089 --> 01:05:05,122 At a party the other day we talked for three hours... 1068 01:05:05,276 --> 01:05:08,080 You know where she was for three hours getting laid after? His house. 1069 01:05:08,272 --> 01:05:09,884 I never slept with her. 1070 01:05:10,038 --> 01:05:11,613 Are you an idiot or what? 1071 01:05:11,765 --> 01:05:15,644 Marcos, have you seen your friend? I told her you were in the trash room... 1072 01:07:09,962 --> 01:07:12,382 Silvia, 28 years old, brown eyes. Less than 1 km. away. 1073 01:07:12,536 --> 01:07:13,725 She likes brown cats. 1074 01:07:15,416 --> 01:07:16,914 You are a motherfucker. 1075 01:07:21,406 --> 01:07:24,095 I really crossed the line the other day. Sorry. 1076 01:07:26,015 --> 01:07:28,319 The only thing I'm sorry for is that you're not Silvia. 1077 01:07:28,549 --> 01:07:31,160 But I have brown eyes, is that good enough? 1078 01:07:38,609 --> 01:07:41,029 Then, are you sure? You're going to London? 1079 01:07:41,375 --> 01:07:43,372 It's a good opportunity for work. 1080 01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:45,023 And Raquel? What happened? 1081 01:07:45,676 --> 01:07:47,634 Nothing happened because I'm a coward. 1082 01:07:49,361 --> 01:07:51,089 And since I don't want to be rejected again 1083 01:07:51,243 --> 01:07:52,895 I'd rather just forget about it somewhere else. 1084 01:07:54,508 --> 01:07:57,541 You can be so many things, and a bit stupid is one of them... 1085 01:07:57,695 --> 01:07:59,269 But not a coward. 1086 01:08:01,803 --> 01:08:04,991 I know lately I've been a real pain in the ass about my girlfriends. 1087 01:08:05,145 --> 01:08:06,796 But when I get back from London, 1088 01:08:07,295 --> 01:08:09,868 will you tell me what is it that scares you so much? 1089 01:08:14,514 --> 01:08:16,742 They say that English girls love to dress up. 1090 01:08:16,895 --> 01:08:18,162 Maybe I'll go and visit you. 1091 01:08:18,854 --> 01:08:21,695 I also like to dress up. Come see me. 1092 01:08:28,262 --> 01:08:29,299 Again! 1093 01:08:29,452 --> 01:08:31,257 Dad, let me in! This is really heavy! 1094 01:08:40,127 --> 01:08:43,584 Son, I know you're not stupid, the school psychologist told us, 1095 01:08:43,737 --> 01:08:47,309 but try to focus a bit. You're too old to be wasting time. 1096 01:08:47,462 --> 01:08:49,190 I'm going to London, I got promoted. 1097 01:08:50,150 --> 01:08:51,801 This time it's for real, they told me. 1098 01:08:52,032 --> 01:08:53,453 But I'm leaving you these things to hold on for me. 1099 01:08:53,605 --> 01:08:55,757 Don't sell them on Wallapop, these are mine. 1100 01:08:55,949 --> 01:08:57,677 - Hi, Marcos! - Hi, mom. 1101 01:08:57,869 --> 01:09:01,056 Hey, I think I found that box you were looking for. 1102 01:09:05,164 --> 01:09:07,392 I'll take a look at this... 1103 01:09:34,580 --> 01:09:35,693 Good morning. 1104 01:09:44,218 --> 01:09:46,023 Okay, I've been stupid and an idiot. 1105 01:09:46,177 --> 01:09:48,058 But I'm not a coward. 1106 01:09:48,673 --> 01:09:51,438 I'm not a coward, I'm not a coward. 1107 01:09:51,975 --> 01:09:53,203 I'm not a coward.... 1108 01:09:54,740 --> 01:09:56,238 Now I know why you left me. 1109 01:09:56,814 --> 01:09:58,580 Marcos, now's not the best time... 1110 01:09:58,734 --> 01:10:00,883 Sorry, this will only take a minute. I'm Marcos, the ex-boyfriend. 1111 01:10:01,076 --> 01:10:02,382 Francisco, Maribel, how's it going? 1112 01:10:03,419 --> 01:10:06,414 You left me because you didn't love me. It's okay, I didn't love you either. 1113 01:10:06,566 --> 01:10:08,410 - Marcos... - But I want to thank you. 1114 01:10:09,563 --> 01:10:11,251 Because you said something the day you dumped me 1115 01:10:11,405 --> 01:10:12,865 that at that time I didn't see. 1116 01:10:13,019 --> 01:10:15,438 That this was for the best for both of us and you were right. 1117 01:10:15,630 --> 01:10:17,819 Now you'll be happy with... What's your name? 1118 01:10:17,971 --> 01:10:18,625 Luis Miguel. 1119 01:10:19,085 --> 01:10:20,392 With Luis Miguel. 1120 01:10:20,737 --> 01:10:22,196 - And I... - Marcos, enough! 1121 01:10:22,388 --> 01:10:24,691 I just want to, as your ex-partner, 1122 01:10:25,460 --> 01:10:27,419 congratulate you. Really. 1123 01:10:33,141 --> 01:10:34,869 Luis Miguel, I'm sorry. 1124 01:10:36,250 --> 01:10:38,785 While you were in Berlin she was fucking me. 1125 01:10:38,939 --> 01:10:40,552 She's a bit of a bitch. 1126 01:13:09,700 --> 01:13:10,468 Okay. 1127 01:13:11,620 --> 01:13:14,845 But I want you to know you found me at a weird time in my life. 1128 01:13:15,191 --> 01:13:17,418 I tried to change everything just to be a man of the XXI century. 1129 01:13:17,571 --> 01:13:20,221 But that was so dumb... what does that even mean? 1130 01:13:20,836 --> 01:13:23,293 Because now I like exercising and eating better. 1131 01:13:23,446 --> 01:13:26,249 But apps for hooking up don't work for me, nor the sexymojis. 1132 01:13:26,711 --> 01:13:28,862 And really, I'd prefer that an eggplant just be an eggplant. 1133 01:13:29,014 --> 01:13:32,009 And I don't like it when pants cut off the blood flow to my legs, 1134 01:13:32,164 --> 01:13:35,734 or wearing a S size jersey. Instead, I still like my vinyls 1135 01:13:36,273 --> 01:13:39,191 and the hair on my legs and my music band shirts, 1136 01:13:39,345 --> 01:13:41,380 and I'm not going to give up the things that I like. 1137 01:13:43,646 --> 01:13:45,796 Because, above all, I like you. 1138 01:13:47,370 --> 01:13:50,020 I like you because you don't have to put on anything just to be yourself 1139 01:13:50,173 --> 01:13:51,710 and that to me is amazing. 1140 01:13:52,324 --> 01:13:53,937 And you know what you want. 1141 01:13:55,473 --> 01:13:58,699 And if you want, you colour your hair pink and dance barefoot. 1142 01:14:15,249 --> 01:14:16,132 No... 1143 01:14:19,474 --> 01:14:22,007 This is me. I know what I want. 1144 01:14:22,200 --> 01:14:23,850 And I love you, Raquel. 1145 01:14:43,972 --> 01:14:47,621 I LOVE YOU, STUPID 1146 01:14:55,916 --> 01:14:57,605 My name is Sebastian Venet. 1147 01:14:58,372 --> 01:14:59,794 Venet with a V. 1148 01:15:00,408 --> 01:15:02,713 I'm a holistic therapist. 1149 01:15:03,634 --> 01:15:05,669 I developed a discipline that 1150 01:15:05,823 --> 01:15:08,818 encompasses several disciplines in the art of healing. 1151 01:15:10,316 --> 01:15:14,310 I treat patients all around the world with my "EFUS" method. 1152 01:15:14,808 --> 01:15:16,613 Empowerment For You System. 1153 01:15:17,420 --> 01:15:19,647 I also train future "EFUS" masters. 1154 01:15:21,222 --> 01:15:22,950 I do transpersonal yoga, 1155 01:15:23,103 --> 01:15:27,020 somatic reiki, top stream Vikram inferno, 1156 01:15:28,019 --> 01:15:32,511 and shock therapy for couples with self-defense techniques. 1157 01:15:34,316 --> 01:15:37,350 I was also sworn in as a master in retro hypnosis 1158 01:15:37,504 --> 01:15:40,230 through the Chang Fu Mar de Plata Academy. 1159 01:15:40,384 --> 01:15:41,996 And well, 1160 01:15:42,150 --> 01:15:46,296 basically what I do is help people. 1161 01:15:47,987 --> 01:15:51,366 Help people to... do everything. 1162 01:15:52,288 --> 01:15:53,632 Sebastian, time to eat! 1163 01:15:58,393 --> 01:15:59,737 Coming, mom! 1164 01:16:03,232 --> 01:16:06,189 I'll edit this later.