1
00:00:50,085 --> 00:00:54,271
[wind howling]
2
00:00:54,339 --> 00:00:57,074
[man narrating] For more
than a year, ominous rumors...
3
00:00:57,142 --> 00:01:01,112
had been privately circulating
among high-level western leaders...
4
00:01:01,179 --> 00:01:05,082
That the soviet union had been at
work on what was darkly hinted to be...
5
00:01:05,150 --> 00:01:08,887
The ultimate weapon, a doomsday device.
6
00:01:08,954 --> 00:01:12,891
Intelligence sources traced the site
of the top-secret russian project...
7
00:01:12,958 --> 00:01:16,928
To the perpetually fog-shrouded
wasteland below the arctic peaks...
8
00:01:16,996 --> 00:01:18,963
Of the Zhokhov islands.
9
00:01:19,031 --> 00:01:21,966
What they were building, or
why it should be located...
10
00:01:22,034 --> 00:01:26,938
In such a remote and desolate
place, no one could say.
11
00:03:24,489 --> 00:03:27,792
[jet engine roaring]
12
00:03:46,311 --> 00:03:51,983
[machines clicking]
[phone beeping]
13
00:03:56,755 --> 00:04:00,457
General Ripper, sir.
Group captain Mandrake speaking.
14
00:04:00,525 --> 00:04:03,695
This is general Ripper speaking.
Yes, sir.
15
00:04:03,762 --> 00:04:07,231
- Do you recognize my voice?
- I do, sir. Why?
16
00:04:07,299 --> 00:04:10,101
- Why do you think?
- I don't know, sir.
17
00:04:10,169 --> 00:04:12,770
We spoke a few moments ago
on the phone, didn't we?
18
00:04:12,838 --> 00:04:18,109
You don't think I'd ask unless it
was pretty damned important, do you?
19
00:04:18,177 --> 00:04:21,879
No, I don't, sir. Let's see
if we can stay on the ball.
20
00:04:21,947 --> 00:04:25,349
Has the wing confirmed holding
at their fail-safe points?
21
00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:28,285
Yes, sir. The confirmations
have just come in.
22
00:04:28,353 --> 00:04:32,123
Very well. Now, listen to me carefully.
23
00:04:32,191 --> 00:04:34,926
The base is being put on condition red.
24
00:04:34,993 --> 00:04:37,161
I want this flashed to
all sections immediately.
25
00:04:37,229 --> 00:04:40,564
Condition red. Jolly good.
Keeps the men on their toes.
26
00:04:40,632 --> 00:04:45,837
- Group captain, I'm afraid this is not an exercise.
- Not an exercise, sir?
27
00:04:45,904 --> 00:04:50,074
I shouldn't tell you this,
Mandrake, but you're a good officer.
28
00:04:50,142 --> 00:04:54,145
You have a right to know. It
looks like we're in a shooting war.
29
00:04:54,213 --> 00:04:58,850
Oh, hell. Are the
russians involved, sir?
30
00:04:58,917 --> 00:05:01,786
That's all I've been told.
It came in on the red phone.
31
00:05:01,854 --> 00:05:05,990
My orders are for this base to be
sealed tight. That's what I mean to do.
32
00:05:06,058 --> 00:05:09,627
Now, I want you to transmit plan R.
33
00:05:09,694 --> 00:05:11,629
R for robert, to the wing.
34
00:05:11,696 --> 00:05:15,099
Plan r for robert.
Is it that bad, sir?
35
00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:17,668
It's pretty hairy.
Yes, sir.
36
00:05:17,736 --> 00:05:19,771
Plan r for robert, sir.
37
00:05:19,838 --> 00:05:23,141
Now, last and possibly most important,
38
00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:26,811
I want all privately owned radios
to be immediately impounded.
39
00:05:26,879 --> 00:05:31,482
They might be used to issue
instructions to saboteurs.
40
00:05:31,549 --> 00:05:34,652
As I previously arranged, air
police will have lists of all owners.
41
00:05:34,719 --> 00:05:38,756
I want every one collected
without exception. Yes, sir.
42
00:05:38,824 --> 00:05:40,892
After you've done
that, report back to me.
43
00:05:43,328 --> 00:05:46,530
[wind howling]
44
00:05:46,598 --> 00:05:51,068
[alarm blaring]
45
00:06:00,578 --> 00:06:03,547
[alarm continues]
46
00:06:06,952 --> 00:06:10,654
[narrator] in order to guard
against surprise nuclear attack,
47
00:06:10,722 --> 00:06:15,993
America's strategic air command
maintains a large force of b-52 bombers...
48
00:06:16,061 --> 00:06:18,395
Airborne 24 hours a day.
49
00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:23,334
Each b-52 can deliver a nuclear
bomb load of 50 megatons,
50
00:06:23,401 --> 00:06:28,405
Equal to 16 times the total explosive
force of all the bombs and shells...
51
00:06:28,473 --> 00:06:33,211
Used by all the armies in World War II.
52
00:06:33,278 --> 00:06:36,247
Based in america, the airborne
alert force is deployed...
53
00:06:36,315 --> 00:06:39,217
From the persian gulf
to the arctic ocean.
54
00:06:39,284 --> 00:06:42,019
But they have one
geographical factor in common.
55
00:06:42,087 --> 00:06:46,090
They are all two hours from
their targets inside russia.
56
00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:36,307
[beeping]
57
00:07:36,375 --> 00:07:38,376
[clicking]
58
00:08:05,637 --> 00:08:09,273
Major kong, I know you'll
think this is crazy,
59
00:08:09,341 --> 00:08:13,344
But I just got a message
from base over the c.R.M. 114.
60
00:08:13,412 --> 00:08:15,446
It decodes as wing attack plan r.
61
00:08:15,513 --> 00:08:19,183
R for romeo.
62
00:08:20,986 --> 00:08:25,222
Goldie, did you say wing attack plan r?
63
00:08:25,290 --> 00:08:27,858
Yes, sir, I have.
64
00:08:30,562 --> 00:08:34,031
Goldie, how many times
have I told you guys...
65
00:08:34,099 --> 00:08:37,201
I don't want horsin'
around on the airplane?
66
00:08:37,269 --> 00:08:39,670
I'm not horsing around,
sir. That's how it decodes.
67
00:08:39,737 --> 00:08:43,407
I've been to one world
fair, a picnic and a rodeo,
68
00:08:43,475 --> 00:08:46,277
And that's the stupidest
thing I heard over earphones.
69
00:08:46,345 --> 00:08:48,279
You sure you got today's code?
70
00:08:48,347 --> 00:08:50,848
Yes, sir, it is.
71
00:08:50,915 --> 00:08:53,484
There's just gotta be somethin' wrong.
72
00:08:53,551 --> 00:08:55,953
Wait a second. I'm comin' back.
73
00:09:30,455 --> 00:09:34,191
Maybe you'd better get
a confirmation from base.
74
00:09:34,259 --> 00:09:36,560
Yes, sir.
75
00:09:55,747 --> 00:09:59,283
Major kong, is it possible this
is some kind of loyalty test?
76
00:09:59,351 --> 00:10:03,054
You know, give the go code and then
recall to see who would actually go?
77
00:10:03,121 --> 00:10:07,425
Ain't nobody ever got the go code yet.
78
00:10:07,492 --> 00:10:09,726
Old Ripper wouldn't
be givin' us plan r...
79
00:10:09,794 --> 00:10:12,296
Unless them ruskies had
already clobbered washington...
80
00:10:12,364 --> 00:10:15,099
And a lot of other towns
with a sneak attack.
81
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:18,702
- Yes, sir.
- Major kong, message from base confirmed.
82
00:10:23,542 --> 00:10:26,944
Well, boys, I reckon this is it.
83
00:10:27,011 --> 00:10:31,782
Nuclear combat toe-to-toe
with the ruskies.
84
00:10:45,263 --> 00:10:50,033
Now, look, boys, I ain't much
of a hand at makin' speeches.
85
00:10:51,570 --> 00:10:54,871
But I got a fair idea that
something doggone important...
86
00:10:54,939 --> 00:10:57,541
Is goin' on back there.
87
00:10:57,609 --> 00:11:00,877
I got a fair idea of the kind
of personal emotions that...
88
00:11:00,945 --> 00:11:04,615
Some of you fellows may be thinkin'.
89
00:11:04,682 --> 00:11:07,218
Heck, I reckon you
wouldn't be human beings...
90
00:11:07,285 --> 00:11:11,855
If you didn't have pretty strong
personal feelin's about nuclear combat.
91
00:11:11,923 --> 00:11:14,992
But I want you to remember one thing.
92
00:11:15,059 --> 00:11:17,761
The folks back home is countin' on ya.
93
00:11:17,829 --> 00:11:21,565
By golly, we ain't
about to let 'em down.
94
00:11:21,633 --> 00:11:24,502
Tell ya somethin' else.
95
00:11:24,569 --> 00:11:29,373
If this thing turns out to be half
as important as I figure it might be,
96
00:11:29,441 --> 00:11:33,877
I'd say you're all in line for
some important promotions...
97
00:11:33,945 --> 00:11:37,314
And personal citations
when this thing's over.
98
00:11:37,382 --> 00:11:40,284
That goes for every last one of ya,
99
00:11:40,352 --> 00:11:44,155
Regardless of your race,
color or your creed.
100
00:11:44,222 --> 00:11:47,724
Now let's get this thing on the
hump. We got some flyin' to do.
101
00:11:55,267 --> 00:11:58,001
[phone ringing]
102
00:11:59,437 --> 00:12:03,641
[ringing continues]
buck, should I get it?
103
00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:06,277
[man] yeah, you'll have to.
104
00:12:06,344 --> 00:12:08,345
[clicks]
105
00:12:11,383 --> 00:12:14,951
Hello? Yes, general Turgidson is here,
106
00:12:15,019 --> 00:12:18,021
But he can't come to
the phone at the moment.
107
00:12:18,089 --> 00:12:21,392
This is his secretary miss scott.
108
00:12:21,459 --> 00:12:26,029
Freddie, how are you? Fine. And you?
109
00:12:26,097 --> 00:12:30,801
We were just catching up on
some of the general's paperwork.
110
00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:34,137
Freddie, he's very
tied up at the moment.
111
00:12:34,206 --> 00:12:37,808
I'm afraid he can't come to
the phone. Just a minute.
112
00:12:37,875 --> 00:12:41,412
General Turgidson,
colonel puntrich calling.
113
00:12:41,479 --> 00:12:47,351
Tell him to call back. The general
says could you call back in a minute?
114
00:12:47,419 --> 00:12:49,986
He says it can't wait!
115
00:12:50,054 --> 00:12:53,557
Aw, for pete's-- find
out what he wants.
116
00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:57,595
Freddie, the general is in
the powder room right now.
117
00:12:57,662 --> 00:13:01,131
Could you tell me what it's about?
118
00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:05,436
Just a second. Apparently they monitored
a transmission eight minutes ago...
119
00:13:05,503 --> 00:13:08,606
From burpelson air force base.
120
00:13:08,673 --> 00:13:14,578
Right. It was directed to the
843rd bomb wing on airborne alert.
121
00:13:16,013 --> 00:13:20,183
It decoded as wing attack plan r.
122
00:13:20,252 --> 00:13:25,522
Well, uh, tell him to call
what's-his-name, base commander Ripper.
123
00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:27,558
Do I have to think of everything?
124
00:13:27,626 --> 00:13:32,329
The general suggests you call general
Ripper, the 843rd base commander.
125
00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:35,666
Oh. All communications are dead!
126
00:13:35,734 --> 00:13:39,169
Bull! Tell him to do it himself.
127
00:13:39,237 --> 00:13:44,141
Freddie, the general asks if you
could possibly try again yourself.
128
00:13:44,208 --> 00:13:48,879
I see. He says he's tried personally
several times, but everything is dead.
129
00:13:48,946 --> 00:13:53,116
Even the normal phone
lines are shut down.
130
00:13:54,118 --> 00:13:58,855
[sighs, mutters]
131
00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:03,226
Fred? Buck. What's it look like?
132
00:14:03,295 --> 00:14:08,532
Yeah. Well, are you sure it's plan r?
133
00:14:10,435 --> 00:14:14,672
Huh? What's cooking on
the threat board? Nothing!
134
00:14:14,739 --> 00:14:18,074
Nothing at all?
135
00:14:18,142 --> 00:14:21,712
I don't like the look of this, fred.
136
00:14:21,780 --> 00:14:24,448
Tell you what you better do, old buddy.
137
00:14:24,516 --> 00:14:28,051
Give elmo and charlie a blast and
bump everything up to condition red.
138
00:14:28,119 --> 00:14:30,354
Stand by the blower.
I'll get back to you.
139
00:14:30,422 --> 00:14:33,524
What's up? Nothing.
140
00:14:33,591 --> 00:14:37,528
Where's my shorts? On the
floor. Where are you going?
141
00:14:37,595 --> 00:14:42,466
No place. I thought I might
mosey over to the war room...
142
00:14:42,534 --> 00:14:44,668
For a few minutes to see
what's doing over there.
143
00:14:44,736 --> 00:14:47,838
It's 3:00 in the morning.
The air force never sleeps.
144
00:14:47,905 --> 00:14:52,543
Buck, honey, I'm not sleepy either.
145
00:14:54,078 --> 00:14:57,381
I know how it is, baby.
146
00:14:57,449 --> 00:15:00,283
Tell you what you do.
147
00:15:00,352 --> 00:15:05,823
You just start your countdown, and old
bucky will be back here before you can say,
148
00:15:05,890 --> 00:15:08,124
"blastoff!"
149
00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:13,464
[Ripper over P.A. System] your commie has
no regard for human life, not even his own.
150
00:15:13,531 --> 00:15:17,468
For this reason, men, I
want to impress upon you...
151
00:15:17,535 --> 00:15:21,538
The need for extreme watchfulness.
152
00:15:21,606 --> 00:15:25,075
The enemy may come individually
or he may come in strength.
153
00:15:25,142 --> 00:15:27,411
He may even come in the
uniform of our own troops.
154
00:15:27,479 --> 00:15:31,114
But however he comes, we must stop him.
155
00:15:31,182 --> 00:15:34,818
We must not allow him to
gain entrance to this base.
156
00:15:34,886 --> 00:15:39,390
Now, I am going to give
you three simple rules.
157
00:15:39,457 --> 00:15:41,725
First, trust no one,
158
00:15:41,793 --> 00:15:46,263
Whatever his uniform or rank,
unless he is known to you personally.
159
00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:49,900
Second, anyone or
anything that approaches...
160
00:15:49,967 --> 00:15:54,237
Within 200 yards of the
perimeter is to be fired upon.
161
00:15:54,305 --> 00:15:59,242
Third, if in doubt, shoot first
and ask questions afterward.
162
00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:04,047
[clicking stops] I would sooner accept
a few casualties through accident,
163
00:16:04,115 --> 00:16:08,051
Than lose the entire base and its
personnel through carelessness.
164
00:16:08,119 --> 00:16:12,856
Any variation on these rules
must come from me personally.
165
00:16:12,924 --> 00:16:15,893
Now, men, in conclusion,
166
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,996
I would like to say
that in the two years...
167
00:16:20,064 --> 00:16:23,967
It has been my privilege to
be your commanding officer,
168
00:16:24,035 --> 00:16:27,003
I have always expected
the best from you.
169
00:16:27,071 --> 00:16:31,174
You have never given me anything
less than that. ♪ [swing]
170
00:16:31,242 --> 00:16:35,412
Today the nation is counting
on us. ♪ [volume increases]
171
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,048
We are not going to let them down.
172
00:16:38,115 --> 00:16:40,150
Good luck to you all.
173
00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:13,817
Here's the attack profile, sir.
174
00:17:40,578 --> 00:17:43,179
This is your attack profile.
175
00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:46,449
"to ensure that the enemy cannot
monitor voice transmission...
176
00:17:46,518 --> 00:17:51,154
"or plant false transmission,
the c.R.M. 114...
177
00:17:51,222 --> 00:17:53,891
"is to be switched into
all receiver circuits.
178
00:17:53,958 --> 00:17:59,630
"the emergency base code prefix is
to be set on the dials of the c.R.M.
179
00:17:59,697 --> 00:18:04,535
"this will block any transmission other
than those preceded by a code prefix.
180
00:18:04,602 --> 00:18:08,271
Stand by to set code prefix."
181
00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:12,709
- Roger. Ready to set code prefix.
- "set code prefix."
182
00:18:12,777 --> 00:18:15,612
[clicking]
183
00:18:21,719 --> 00:18:23,720
Code prefix set.
184
00:18:23,788 --> 00:18:25,488
"lock code prefix."
185
00:18:27,625 --> 00:18:29,560
Code prefix locked.
186
00:18:29,627 --> 00:18:33,129
"switch all receiver circuits
to c.R.M. Discriminators."
187
00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:37,568
All circuits switched
to c.R.M. Discriminators.
188
00:18:37,635 --> 00:18:39,502
"check auto destruct circuits."
189
00:18:39,571 --> 00:18:41,572
[clicking] [alarm blaring]
190
00:18:41,639 --> 00:18:44,775
Auto destruct circuits checked.
191
00:18:50,114 --> 00:18:54,551
"primary target: The
I.C.B.M. Complex at laputa.
192
00:18:54,619 --> 00:18:58,822
"target reference: Yankee, golf, tango,
193
00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:01,324
"three, six, zero.
194
00:19:01,392 --> 00:19:07,163
"30 megaton nuclear device fused
for air burst at 10,000 feet.
195
00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:11,868
"20 megaton nuclear device will
be used if first malfunctions.
196
00:19:11,936 --> 00:19:14,471
"otherwise, proceed to secondary target:
197
00:19:14,538 --> 00:19:19,242
"missile complex seven
miles east of borchov.
198
00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:22,579
"target reference:
November, bravo, x-ray,
199
00:19:22,647 --> 00:19:25,248
"one, zero, eight.
200
00:19:25,316 --> 00:19:30,487
Fused air burst at 10--"
check-- "12,000 feet."
201
00:19:30,554 --> 00:19:33,958
♪ [continues]
202
00:19:34,025 --> 00:19:41,699
♪
203
00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:45,669
Excuse me, sir. Something rather
interesting has just cropped up.
204
00:19:45,737 --> 00:19:48,739
Listen to that. Music.
Civilian broadcasting.
205
00:19:48,807 --> 00:19:51,441
I think those fellows in the pentagon...
206
00:19:51,509 --> 00:19:54,511
Have given us some sort of
exercise to test our readiness.
207
00:19:54,579 --> 00:19:56,680
Personally, I think it's
taking things a bit too far.
208
00:19:56,748 --> 00:20:00,017
Our fellows will be inside russian
radar cover in about 20 minutes.
209
00:20:00,085 --> 00:20:04,655
Listen to that. Full of
stations all churning it out.
210
00:20:04,723 --> 00:20:06,657
Mandrake? Yes, sir.
211
00:20:06,725 --> 00:20:10,027
I issued instructions for
all radios to be impounded.
212
00:20:10,095 --> 00:20:14,397
I was in the process of impounding this
very one when I happened to switch it on.
213
00:20:14,465 --> 00:20:18,368
I thought, our fellows hitting russian radar
in 20 minutes, dropping all their stuff.
214
00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:22,572
I'd better tell you, because
if they do, it'll cause a stink.
215
00:20:22,641 --> 00:20:26,476
Group captain, the
officer exchange program...
216
00:20:26,544 --> 00:20:30,480
Does not give you any special
prerogatives to question my orders.
217
00:20:30,548 --> 00:20:34,752
I realize that, sir, but I thought
you'd be pleased to hear the news.
218
00:20:34,819 --> 00:20:37,888
After all, let's face it.
219
00:20:37,956 --> 00:20:42,526
We don't want to start a nuclear
war unless we have to, do we?
220
00:20:42,593 --> 00:20:45,195
Please, sit down. And
turn that thing off.
221
00:20:45,263 --> 00:20:47,397
[music off] yes, sir.
222
00:20:47,465 --> 00:20:52,402
What about the planes, sir? Surely we
must issue the recall code immediately.
223
00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:55,338
The planes are not going to be recalled.
224
00:20:55,406 --> 00:21:00,210
My attack orders have been
issued, and the orders stand.
225
00:21:00,278 --> 00:21:02,212
If you'll excuse me for saying so, sir,
226
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,648
That would be to my way
of thinking rather...
227
00:21:04,716 --> 00:21:07,084
An odd way of looking at it.
228
00:21:07,152 --> 00:21:09,319
If a russian attack was in progress,
229
00:21:09,387 --> 00:21:13,123
We would certainly not be
hearing civilian broadcasting.
230
00:21:13,191 --> 00:21:16,226
Are you certain? I'm
absolutely positive.
231
00:21:16,294 --> 00:21:20,831
What if it is true? I'm afraid
I'm still not with you, sir.
232
00:21:20,899 --> 00:21:23,533
Because,
I mean--
233
00:21:23,601 --> 00:21:25,869
If a russian attack was not in progress,
234
00:21:25,937 --> 00:21:31,641
Then your use of plan r, in fact,
your orders to the entire wing--
235
00:21:34,579 --> 00:21:38,582
Well, I would say, sir,
236
00:21:38,649 --> 00:21:43,587
That there was something
dreadfully wrong somewhere.
237
00:21:43,654 --> 00:21:46,590
Why don't you take it
easy, group captain?
238
00:21:46,657 --> 00:21:49,727
Please make me a drink of
grain alcohol and rainwater,
239
00:21:49,794 --> 00:21:52,996
And help yourself to
whatever you'd like.
240
00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:00,804
[heels click]
241
00:22:00,872 --> 00:22:04,942
General Ripper, sir, as an
officer in her majesty's air force,
242
00:22:05,009 --> 00:22:08,411
It is my clear duty under
the present circumstances...
243
00:22:08,479 --> 00:22:13,183
To issue the recall code upon my own
authority and bring back the wing.
244
00:22:13,251 --> 00:22:15,485
If you'll excuse me, sir.
245
00:22:22,227 --> 00:22:26,730
I'm afraid, sir, I must ask you
for the key and the recall code.
246
00:22:26,798 --> 00:22:28,732
Have you got them handy, sir?
247
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,201
I told you to take it
easy, group captain.
248
00:22:31,269 --> 00:22:33,904
There's nothing anybody
can do about this thing now.
249
00:22:33,972 --> 00:22:36,406
I'm the only person who knows
the three-letter code group.
250
00:22:36,474 --> 00:22:40,144
Then I must insist, sir,
that you give them to me.
251
00:22:47,185 --> 00:22:52,089
Do I take it, sir, that you are
threatening a brother officer with a gun?
252
00:22:53,324 --> 00:22:58,595
Mandrake, I suppose it
never occurred to you...
253
00:22:58,663 --> 00:23:02,199
That while we're chatting
here so enjoyably,
254
00:23:02,267 --> 00:23:06,036
A decision is being
made by the president...
255
00:23:06,104 --> 00:23:09,273
And the joint chiefs in the
war room at the pentagon.
256
00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:12,075
When they realize...
257
00:23:12,143 --> 00:23:15,545
There is no possibility
of recalling the wing,
258
00:23:15,613 --> 00:23:20,383
There will be only one
course of action open.
259
00:23:20,451 --> 00:23:23,153
Total commitment.
260
00:23:24,555 --> 00:23:30,093
Mandrake, do you recall what
clemenceau once said about war?
261
00:23:30,161 --> 00:23:33,330
Uh, no, I don't think I do, sir. No.
262
00:23:34,699 --> 00:23:37,734
He said war was too important
to be left to the generals.
263
00:23:37,802 --> 00:23:42,405
When he said that 50 years ago,
264
00:23:42,473 --> 00:23:45,475
He might have been right.
265
00:23:45,543 --> 00:23:51,348
But, today, war is too important
to be left to politicians.
266
00:23:51,415 --> 00:23:55,919
They have neither the
time, the training...
267
00:23:55,987 --> 00:23:59,957
Nor the inclination
for strategic thought.
268
00:24:02,593 --> 00:24:06,263
I can no longer sit back and allow...
269
00:24:06,331 --> 00:24:11,401
Communist infiltration,
communist indoctrination,
270
00:24:11,469 --> 00:24:14,404
Communist subversion...
271
00:24:14,472 --> 00:24:18,508
And the international
communist conspiracy...
272
00:24:18,576 --> 00:24:24,114
To sap and impurify all of
our precious bodily fluids.
273
00:24:30,221 --> 00:24:32,489
Staines, is everybody here?
274
00:24:32,556 --> 00:24:35,125
Mr. President, the secretary
of state is in vietnam.
275
00:24:35,193 --> 00:24:39,129
The secretary of defense is in laos,
and the vice president is in mexico city.
276
00:24:39,197 --> 00:24:42,465
We can establish contact with
them at anytime, if it's necessary.
277
00:24:42,533 --> 00:24:45,335
The undersecretaries
are all here. Right.
278
00:24:45,403 --> 00:24:47,337
General Turgidson, what's going on?
279
00:24:47,405 --> 00:24:51,508
[clears throat] Mr. President,
280
00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:55,145
About 35 minutes ago,
281
00:24:55,213 --> 00:24:59,349
General Jack Ripper, the
commanding general of, uh,
282
00:24:59,417 --> 00:25:01,851
Burpelson air force base,
283
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,088
Issued an order to the
34 b-52s of his wing,
284
00:25:05,156 --> 00:25:07,524
Which were airborne at the time,
285
00:25:07,591 --> 00:25:11,494
As part of a special exercise we were
holding called operation dropkick.
286
00:25:11,562 --> 00:25:16,333
It appears that the order
called for the planes...
287
00:25:16,401 --> 00:25:19,702
To attack their targets inside russia.
288
00:25:19,770 --> 00:25:24,007
[group murmuring] the planes are
fully armed with nuclear weapons...
289
00:25:24,075 --> 00:25:27,644
With an average load
of 40 megatons each.
290
00:25:27,711 --> 00:25:33,583
The central display of russia will
indicate the position of the planes.
291
00:25:33,651 --> 00:25:37,154
The triangles are their primary targets.
292
00:25:37,221 --> 00:25:41,058
The squares are their secondary targets.
293
00:25:41,125 --> 00:25:44,494
The aircraft will begin
penetrating russian radar cover...
294
00:25:44,562 --> 00:25:47,230
Within, uh, 25 minutes.
295
00:25:47,298 --> 00:25:51,234
General Turgidson, I find this
very difficult to understand.
296
00:25:51,302 --> 00:25:54,704
I was under the impression that
I was the only one in authority...
297
00:25:54,772 --> 00:25:57,040
To order the use of nuclear weapons.
298
00:25:57,108 --> 00:25:59,909
Uh, that's right, sir.
299
00:25:59,978 --> 00:26:02,346
You are the only person
authorized to do so.
300
00:26:02,413 --> 00:26:06,749
Although I hate to judge
before all the facts are in,
301
00:26:06,817 --> 00:26:10,387
It's beginning to look like general
Ripper exceeded his authority.
302
00:26:10,455 --> 00:26:15,592
It certainly does. Far beyond the
point I would have imagined possible.
303
00:26:15,659 --> 00:26:18,996
Perhaps you're forgetting
the provisions of plan r, sir.
304
00:26:19,063 --> 00:26:21,931
Plan r?
305
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,969
Plan r is an emergency war plan,
306
00:26:26,037 --> 00:26:28,472
In which a lower echelon
commander may order...
307
00:26:28,539 --> 00:26:31,808
Nuclear retaliation
after a sneak attack,
308
00:26:31,876 --> 00:26:35,412
If the normal chain of
command has been disrupted.
309
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,248
You approved it, sir. You must remember.
310
00:26:38,316 --> 00:26:42,252
Surely you must recall,
sir, when senator beaufort...
311
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:46,723
Made that big hassle about our
deterrent lacking credibility.
312
00:26:46,790 --> 00:26:51,661
The idea was for plan r to be
a sort of retaliatory safeguard.
313
00:26:51,729 --> 00:26:54,097
A safeguard?
314
00:26:54,165 --> 00:26:56,900
I admit the human element
seems to have failed us here.
315
00:26:56,967 --> 00:27:00,437
But the idea was to discourage
the ruskies from any hope...
316
00:27:00,505 --> 00:27:02,972
That they could knock out
washington-- and yourself, sir--
317
00:27:03,041 --> 00:27:05,442
As part of a general sneak attack...
318
00:27:05,510 --> 00:27:09,446
And escape retaliation because of
lack of proper command and control.
319
00:27:09,514 --> 00:27:14,151
I assume the planes will return automatically
once they reach their fail-safe points?
320
00:27:14,218 --> 00:27:19,822
I'm afraid not. The planes were
holding at their fail-safe points...
321
00:27:19,890 --> 00:27:21,891
When the go code was issued.
322
00:27:21,959 --> 00:27:26,430
Once they fly beyond fail-safe, they do
not require a second order to proceed.
323
00:27:26,497 --> 00:27:28,465
They will continue until
they reach their targets.
324
00:27:28,533 --> 00:27:31,601
Why haven't you radioed the planes,
countermandering the go code?
325
00:27:31,669 --> 00:27:36,473
Well, I'm afraid we're unable to
communicate with any of the aircraft.
326
00:27:36,541 --> 00:27:41,010
Why? As you may recall,
sir-- [clears throat]
327
00:27:41,079 --> 00:27:44,814
One of the provisions
of plan r provides...
328
00:27:44,882 --> 00:27:49,453
That once the go code is received,
329
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,156
The normal s.S.B.
Radios in the aircraft...
330
00:27:53,224 --> 00:27:55,758
Are switched into a
special coded device,
331
00:27:55,826 --> 00:27:58,828
Which, I believe, is
designated as c.R.M. 114.
332
00:27:58,896 --> 00:28:02,999
In order to prevent the enemy from
issuing fake or confusing orders,
333
00:28:03,067 --> 00:28:07,104
C.R.M. 114 is designed
not to receive at all,
334
00:28:07,171 --> 00:28:12,609
Unless the message is proceeded by the
correct three-letter code group prefix.
335
00:28:12,676 --> 00:28:18,281
Do you mean to tell me, general Turgidson,
you will be unable to recall the aircraft?
336
00:28:18,349 --> 00:28:21,918
That's the size of it. However, we
are plowing through every possible...
337
00:28:21,986 --> 00:28:24,020
Three-letter combination of the code.
338
00:28:24,088 --> 00:28:29,359
But since there are 17,000 permutations,
339
00:28:29,427 --> 00:28:32,962
It's going to take us about
two-and-a-half days to transmit them all.
340
00:28:33,030 --> 00:28:35,765
How soon did you say the planes
would penetrate russian radar cover?
341
00:28:35,833 --> 00:28:37,800
About 18 minutes from now.
342
00:28:37,868 --> 00:28:40,903
- Are you in contact with general Ripper?
- No, sir.
343
00:28:40,971 --> 00:28:44,341
General Ripper sealed off the
base and cut off communications.
344
00:28:44,408 --> 00:28:46,042
Where did you get this information?
345
00:28:46,110 --> 00:28:49,846
General Ripper called strategic
air command headquarters...
346
00:28:49,913 --> 00:28:52,349
Shortly after he issued the go code.
347
00:28:52,416 --> 00:28:55,185
I have a portion of the
transcript of that conversation,
348
00:28:55,253 --> 00:28:58,688
If you'd like me to read it. Read it.
349
00:28:58,756 --> 00:29:02,459
[coughs] the duty officer
asked general Ripper...
350
00:29:02,527 --> 00:29:05,762
To confirm the fact that he had
issued the go code, and he said,
351
00:29:05,829 --> 00:29:11,100
"yes, gentlemen, they are on their
way in and no one can bring them back.
352
00:29:11,169 --> 00:29:14,070
"for the sake of our
country and our way of life,
353
00:29:14,138 --> 00:29:16,706
"I suggest you get the
rest of sac in after them.
354
00:29:16,774 --> 00:29:21,678
"otherwise we will be totally
destroyed by red retaliation.
355
00:29:21,745 --> 00:29:27,184
"my boys will give you the best
kind of start: 1,400 megatons worth.
356
00:29:27,251 --> 00:29:30,687
"and you sure as hell
won't stop them now.
357
00:29:30,754 --> 00:29:33,756
"so let's get going.
There's no other choice.
358
00:29:33,824 --> 00:29:36,993
"god willing, we will prevail...
359
00:29:37,061 --> 00:29:39,563
"in peace and freedom from fear...
360
00:29:39,630 --> 00:29:41,998
"and in true health
through the purity...
361
00:29:42,066 --> 00:29:45,968
"and essence of our natural...
362
00:29:46,036 --> 00:29:48,471
"fluids.
363
00:29:48,539 --> 00:29:51,374
God bless you all."
364
00:29:52,376 --> 00:29:55,044
Then he hung up.
365
00:29:55,112 --> 00:29:58,815
We're still trying to figure out
the meaning of that last phrase, sir.
366
00:29:58,882 --> 00:30:03,119
There's nothing to figure out.
This man is obviously a psychotic.
367
00:30:03,187 --> 00:30:08,291
I'd like to hold off judgment on a thing
like that until all the facts were in.
368
00:30:08,359 --> 00:30:13,029
General Turgidson, when you
instituted the human reliability tests,
369
00:30:13,097 --> 00:30:16,999
You assured me there was no possibility
of such a thing ever occurring.
370
00:30:18,536 --> 00:30:23,106
I don't think it's fair to
condemn a whole program...
371
00:30:23,173 --> 00:30:25,742
Because of a single slipup, sir.
372
00:30:25,809 --> 00:30:28,311
I want to speak to general Ripper
on the telephone personally.
373
00:30:28,379 --> 00:30:29,946
That's impossible.
374
00:30:30,013 --> 00:30:33,916
General Turgidson, I am becoming
less and less interested...
375
00:30:33,984 --> 00:30:37,854
In your estimates of what
is possible and impossible.
376
00:30:37,921 --> 00:30:41,190
[president] general faceman. Yes, sir?
377
00:30:41,259 --> 00:30:43,826
Are there any army units
stationed near burpelson?
378
00:30:43,894 --> 00:30:47,464
I'll just check, sir.
379
00:30:47,531 --> 00:30:50,767
[beeping]
380
00:30:50,834 --> 00:30:53,670
Hello?
381
00:30:53,738 --> 00:30:58,341
I told you never to call me
here. Don't you know where I am?
382
00:30:58,409 --> 00:31:00,744
Now, look, baby, I
can't talk to you now.
383
00:31:00,811 --> 00:31:02,779
My president needs me.
384
00:31:02,846 --> 00:31:05,382
Of course, bucky would
rather be there with you.
385
00:31:05,449 --> 00:31:09,452
What do you think about
civil defense? Hmm.
386
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,789
Of course, it isn't only
physical. [men talking, indistinct]
387
00:31:12,856 --> 00:31:15,592
I deeply respect you as a human being.
388
00:31:15,660 --> 00:31:19,496
Someday I'm going to make
you mrs. Buck Turgidson.
389
00:31:19,563 --> 00:31:22,666
Yeah, all right. Listen,
you go back to sleep, hon.
390
00:31:22,733 --> 00:31:25,735
Bucky will be back
there as soon as he can.
391
00:31:25,803 --> 00:31:31,040
All right. Listen, sug! Don't
forget to say your prayers.
392
00:31:37,114 --> 00:31:41,217
Apparently the 23rd airborne division...
393
00:31:41,285 --> 00:31:44,020
Is stationed seven
miles away at alvarado.
394
00:31:44,087 --> 00:31:48,458
General faceman, I want them to enter
the base, locate general Ripper...
395
00:31:48,526 --> 00:31:50,860
And put him in immediate
telephone contact with me.
396
00:31:50,928 --> 00:31:54,230
Yes, sir. [Turgidson] Mr. President?
397
00:31:54,298 --> 00:31:57,099
If I may advise. Under a condition red,
398
00:31:57,167 --> 00:32:00,470
It is standard procedure
that the base be sealed off...
399
00:32:00,538 --> 00:32:03,206
And the base defended
by base security troops.
400
00:32:03,273 --> 00:32:07,744
Any force trying to enter would
certainly encounter heavy casualties.
401
00:32:07,812 --> 00:32:11,514
General Turgidson, with all due
respect for your defense team,
402
00:32:11,582 --> 00:32:14,551
My boys can brush them aside
without too much trouble.
403
00:32:14,618 --> 00:32:20,223
Mr. President, there are one or two
points I'd like to make, if I may.
404
00:32:20,290 --> 00:32:22,692
Go ahead, general.
405
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:28,732
One, our hopes for recalling
the 843rd bomb wing...
406
00:32:28,799 --> 00:32:33,269
Are quickly being reduced to a
very low order of probability.
407
00:32:33,337 --> 00:32:36,405
Two, in less than 15 minutes from now,
408
00:32:36,473 --> 00:32:39,442
The ruskies will be making
radar contact with the planes.
409
00:32:39,509 --> 00:32:43,613
Three, when they do, they are
going to go absolutely ape.
410
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,216
They are going to strike
back with everything they got.
411
00:32:46,283 --> 00:32:49,518
Four, if prior to this time...
412
00:32:49,586 --> 00:32:52,789
We have done nothing to suppress
their retaliatory capabilities,
413
00:32:52,857 --> 00:32:56,425
We will suffer virtual annihilation.
414
00:32:56,493 --> 00:32:59,462
Now,
415
00:32:59,529 --> 00:33:01,898
Five,
416
00:33:01,966 --> 00:33:05,668
If, on the other hand,
417
00:33:05,736 --> 00:33:09,639
We were to immediately launch an
all-out and coordinated attack...
418
00:33:09,706 --> 00:33:11,975
On all their airfields
and missile bases,
419
00:33:12,042 --> 00:33:14,978
We'd stand a damn good chance of
catching 'em with their pants down.
420
00:33:15,045 --> 00:33:17,180
Hell, we got a five-to-one
missile superiority as it is.
421
00:33:17,248 --> 00:33:19,916
We could easily assign three
missiles to every target...
422
00:33:19,984 --> 00:33:23,552
And still have a very effective
reserve force for any other contingency.
423
00:33:23,620 --> 00:33:28,724
Ah, six! An unofficial study, which
we undertook of this eventuality,
424
00:33:28,793 --> 00:33:33,663
Indicated that we would destroy
90% of their nuclear capabilities.
425
00:33:33,730 --> 00:33:36,499
We would therefore prevail and suffer...
426
00:33:36,566 --> 00:33:40,203
Only modest and acceptable civilian
casualties from their remaining force,
427
00:33:40,271 --> 00:33:43,506
Which would be badly
damaged and uncoordinated.
428
00:33:43,573 --> 00:33:46,943
General, it is the avowed
policy of our country...
429
00:33:47,011 --> 00:33:49,578
Never to strike first
with nuclear weapons.
430
00:33:49,646 --> 00:33:54,383
Mr. President, general Ripper has
already invalidated that policy.
431
00:33:54,451 --> 00:33:58,888
That was not an act of national policy.
There are still alternatives open to us.
432
00:33:58,956 --> 00:34:04,194
Mr. President, we are rapidly
approaching a moment of truth,
433
00:34:04,261 --> 00:34:08,164
Both for ourselves as human beings
and for the life of our nation.
434
00:34:08,232 --> 00:34:10,900
Now, truth is not
always a pleasant thing.
435
00:34:10,968 --> 00:34:16,139
But it is necessary now to make a choice.
To choose between two admittedly regrettable,
436
00:34:16,207 --> 00:34:19,843
But nevertheless distinguishable,
postwar environments.
437
00:34:19,910 --> 00:34:21,978
One where you got 20
million people killed,
438
00:34:22,046 --> 00:34:24,513
And the other were you got
150 million people killed.
439
00:34:24,581 --> 00:34:27,583
You're talking about mass
murder, general, not war.
440
00:34:27,651 --> 00:34:31,387
Mr. President, I'm not saying
we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
441
00:34:31,455 --> 00:34:35,992
But I do say no more than 10
to 20 million killed. Tops!
442
00:34:36,060 --> 00:34:38,061
Depending on the breaks.
443
00:34:38,128 --> 00:34:42,098
I will not go down in history as the
greatest mass murderer since adolph hitler!
444
00:34:42,166 --> 00:34:45,835
It might be better if you were more
concerned with the american people...
445
00:34:45,903 --> 00:34:48,171
Than with your image
in the history books.
446
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:53,809
General Turgidson, I've heard quite
sufficient from you. Thank you very much.
447
00:34:53,878 --> 00:34:56,012
Mr. President, they have the
ambassador waiting upstairs.
448
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,081
Good. Any difficulty?
449
00:34:58,148 --> 00:35:00,616
He's having a fit about that
squad of m.P.S. Can't be helped.
450
00:35:00,684 --> 00:35:02,618
Have him brought here straightaway.
451
00:35:02,686 --> 00:35:05,088
Yes, sir.
Is that--
452
00:35:05,155 --> 00:35:09,025
- Is that the russian ambassador?
- Yes, it is, general.
453
00:35:09,093 --> 00:35:14,030
A-am I to understand
the russian ambassador...
454
00:35:14,098 --> 00:35:16,532
Is to be admitted
entrance to the war room?
455
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,502
Correct. He is here on my orders.
456
00:35:21,605 --> 00:35:24,607
I-I-I don't know exactly
how to put this, sir.
457
00:35:24,674 --> 00:35:28,544
But are you aware of what a
breach of security that would be?
458
00:35:28,612 --> 00:35:32,348
He'll see everything.
He'll see the big board.
459
00:35:32,416 --> 00:35:37,887
That is precisely the idea,
general. That is precisely the idea.
460
00:35:37,955 --> 00:35:43,359
[president] staines, get
premier kissoff on the hot line.
461
00:35:50,467 --> 00:35:54,570
[kong] "survival kit contents check.
462
00:35:54,638 --> 00:35:59,375
"in them you will find
one .45 caliber automatic,
463
00:35:59,443 --> 00:36:02,078
"two boxes of ammunition,
464
00:36:02,146 --> 00:36:05,281
"four days concentrated
emergency rations,
465
00:36:05,349 --> 00:36:08,717
"one drug issue containing antibiotics,
466
00:36:08,785 --> 00:36:13,056
"morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills,
467
00:36:13,123 --> 00:36:16,960
"sleepin' pills, tranquilizer pills,
468
00:36:17,027 --> 00:36:21,831
"one miniature combination
russian phrase book and bible,
469
00:36:21,898 --> 00:36:24,934
"$100 in rubles,
470
00:36:25,002 --> 00:36:27,170
"$100 in gold,
471
00:36:27,237 --> 00:36:29,973
"nine packs of chewing gum,
472
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,041
"one issue of prophylactics,
473
00:36:32,109 --> 00:36:36,179
Three lipsticks, three
pair of nylon stockings."
474
00:36:36,246 --> 00:36:40,916
Shoot, a fellow could have a pretty good
weekend in vegas with all that stuff.
475
00:36:46,256 --> 00:36:49,325
You don't have any fresh
fish? I'm afraid not, sir.
476
00:36:49,393 --> 00:36:51,660
Your eggs? They are
fresh? Oh, yes, sir.
477
00:36:51,728 --> 00:36:55,731
I will have poached eggs. And bring
me some cigars, please. Havana cigars.
478
00:36:55,799 --> 00:36:57,700
That will be all, sir? Yes.
479
00:36:57,767 --> 00:36:59,735
I'll see to it right away.
480
00:36:59,803 --> 00:37:02,338
Try one of these jamaican
cigars, ambassador. They're good.
481
00:37:02,406 --> 00:37:06,042
Thank you, no. I do not support
the work of imperialist stooges.
482
00:37:06,110 --> 00:37:08,511
Oh, only commie stooges, huh?
483
00:37:08,578 --> 00:37:11,447
Psst. Mr. President?
484
00:37:11,515 --> 00:37:15,184
You gonna let that lousy commie
punk vomit all over us like this?
485
00:37:15,252 --> 00:37:20,356
Mr. President, they haven't been able
to reach premier kissoff in the kremlin.
486
00:37:20,424 --> 00:37:24,060
They don't know where he is, and
he won't be back for two hours.
487
00:37:24,128 --> 00:37:26,662
Try b-8-6-5-4-3
moscow. Yes, sir.
488
00:37:26,730 --> 00:37:28,664
You would never have found
him through his office.
489
00:37:28,732 --> 00:37:32,902
Our premier is a man of the people,
but he is also a man, if you follow.
490
00:37:32,969 --> 00:37:35,104
[chuckles] fine.
Degenerate atheistic commie.
491
00:37:35,172 --> 00:37:39,008
What? I said premier kissoff is
a degenerate atheistic commie!
492
00:37:39,076 --> 00:37:42,445
Have this
fool-- [arguing]
493
00:37:42,513 --> 00:37:46,916
Mr. President! I think
they're trying the number.
494
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,255
[arguing, scuffling]
495
00:37:52,322 --> 00:37:56,859
[muttering in russian]
you bully! [muttering]
496
00:37:56,927 --> 00:37:59,995
Gentlemen, you can't fight in
here! This is the war room!
497
00:38:00,064 --> 00:38:02,831
What is going on? I
demand an explanation.
498
00:38:02,899 --> 00:38:07,070
This clumsy fool tried to plant
that ridiculous camera on me.
499
00:38:07,137 --> 00:38:09,772
You bet your sweets, Mr. Commie
! Look at this, Mr. President.
500
00:38:09,839 --> 00:38:13,409
This lousy commie rat was taking
pictures with this of the big board!
501
00:38:13,477 --> 00:38:16,379
Mr. Ambassador!
502
00:38:16,447 --> 00:38:20,883
This clumsy fool attempted to
plant that ridiculous camera on me.
503
00:38:20,951 --> 00:38:23,619
That's a damn lie! I
saw him with my own eyes!
504
00:38:23,687 --> 00:38:27,957
Gentlemen, this is outrageous. I have never
heard of such behavior in the war room before.
505
00:38:28,024 --> 00:38:30,526
Mr. President, I think they're
getting him on the line.
506
00:38:35,399 --> 00:38:38,934
[indistinct rumbling]
507
00:38:55,986 --> 00:39:00,389
You sure got to hand
it to those commies.
508
00:39:00,457 --> 00:39:05,261
Yeah. Gee, those trucks sure look
like the real thing, don't they?
509
00:39:05,329 --> 00:39:07,263
I wonder where they got them from.
510
00:39:07,331 --> 00:39:09,365
Probably bought them from
the army as war surplus.
511
00:39:09,433 --> 00:39:12,101
[vehicles continue approaching]
512
00:39:12,169 --> 00:39:16,506
Okay. Open up at 200 yards.
513
00:39:23,847 --> 00:39:26,982
[men shouting]
514
00:39:30,154 --> 00:39:33,556
[shouting continues]
515
00:39:55,579 --> 00:39:59,248
[gunfire continues]
516
00:40:07,658 --> 00:40:10,626
[gunfire continues]
517
00:40:13,029 --> 00:40:17,866
Tell him where you are and that you'll enter
the conversation if I say anything untrue.
518
00:40:17,934 --> 00:40:20,403
But, please, don't tell
him anything more than that.
519
00:40:20,470 --> 00:40:25,708
Alexi? Alexi, please.
I beg you.
520
00:40:25,775 --> 00:40:27,677
But I don't have a phone.
521
00:40:27,744 --> 00:40:31,747
Give him the phone, frank.
522
00:40:33,783 --> 00:40:37,886
[ambassador speaking russian]
523
00:40:37,954 --> 00:40:42,325
[russian continues]
524
00:40:55,004 --> 00:40:56,939
[russian continues]
525
00:40:57,006 --> 00:40:59,975
I've done as you asked.
526
00:41:00,043 --> 00:41:02,911
Be careful, Mr. President.
I think he is drunk.
527
00:41:04,881 --> 00:41:06,849
Hello?
528
00:41:06,916 --> 00:41:10,586
Uh, hello, Dimitri?
529
00:41:10,654 --> 00:41:15,658
Listen, I can't hear too well. Do you suppose
you could turn the music down a little?
530
00:41:15,726 --> 00:41:18,160
That's much better.
531
00:41:18,228 --> 00:41:22,097
Yeah. [chuckles] yeah.
532
00:41:22,165 --> 00:41:25,067
Fine. I can hear you now, Dimitri.
533
00:41:25,135 --> 00:41:28,070
Clear and plain and coming
through fine.
534
00:41:28,138 --> 00:41:30,706
I'm coming through fine too, eh?
535
00:41:30,774 --> 00:41:33,643
Good, then--
well, then,
536
00:41:33,710 --> 00:41:36,679
As you say, we're both
coming through fine.
537
00:41:36,747 --> 00:41:41,450
Good. Well, it's good that
you're fine, and I'm fine.
538
00:41:41,518 --> 00:41:45,488
I agree with you. It's
great to be fine. [chuckles]
539
00:41:45,555 --> 00:41:49,858
Now, then, Dimitri, you know how...
540
00:41:49,926 --> 00:41:53,629
We've always talked
about the possibility...
541
00:41:53,697 --> 00:41:56,265
Of something going wrong with the bomb.
542
00:41:56,333 --> 00:41:59,168
The bomb, Dimitri.
543
00:42:00,837 --> 00:42:03,472
The hydrogen bomb.
544
00:42:03,540 --> 00:42:06,509
Well, now, what happened is, uh,
545
00:42:06,576 --> 00:42:10,879
One of our base commanders,
he had a sort of--
546
00:42:10,947 --> 00:42:14,283
Well, he went a little
funny in the head.
547
00:42:14,351 --> 00:42:17,386
You know, just a little funny.
548
00:42:17,454 --> 00:42:22,291
And, uh, he went and did a silly thing.
549
00:42:22,359 --> 00:42:26,429
Well, I'll tell you what he
did. He ordered his planes...
550
00:42:27,997 --> 00:42:30,966
To attack
your country--
551
00:42:31,034 --> 00:42:33,001
Well, let me finish, Dimitri.
552
00:42:33,069 --> 00:42:35,971
Let me finish, Dimitri.
553
00:42:36,039 --> 00:42:38,874
Well, listen, how do you
think I feel about it?
554
00:42:38,942 --> 00:42:42,177
Can you imagine how I
feel about it, Dimitri?
555
00:42:42,245 --> 00:42:45,881
Why do you think I'm calling you?
556
00:42:45,949 --> 00:42:48,884
Just to say hello?
557
00:42:48,952 --> 00:42:51,487
Of course I like to speak to you!
558
00:42:51,555 --> 00:42:54,122
Of course I like to say hello!
559
00:42:54,190 --> 00:42:56,325
Not now, but any time, Dimitri.
560
00:42:56,393 --> 00:43:00,730
I'm just calling up to tell you
something terrible has happened.
561
00:43:00,797 --> 00:43:03,566
It's a friendly call. Of
course, it's a friendly call.
562
00:43:03,633 --> 00:43:07,870
Listen, if it wasn't friendly, you
probably wouldn't have even got it.
563
00:43:10,139 --> 00:43:14,910
They will not reach their
targets for at least another hour.
564
00:43:14,978 --> 00:43:18,046
I am-- I am
positive, Dimitri.
565
00:43:18,114 --> 00:43:20,549
Listen, I've been all over
this with your ambassador.
566
00:43:20,617 --> 00:43:23,419
It is not a trick.
567
00:43:23,487 --> 00:43:26,722
Well, I'll tell you. We'd
like to give your air staff...
568
00:43:26,790 --> 00:43:31,927
A complete rundown on the targets, flight
plans and defensive systems of the planes.
569
00:43:31,995 --> 00:43:36,866
Yes, if we're unable
to recall the planes.
570
00:43:36,933 --> 00:43:40,969
I'd say
that-- well,
571
00:43:41,037 --> 00:43:45,641
We're just gonna have to help
you destroy them, Dimitri.
572
00:43:45,709 --> 00:43:48,444
I know they're our boys.
573
00:43:48,512 --> 00:43:52,815
All right, well, listen.
Now, who should we call?
574
00:43:52,883 --> 00:43:58,587
Who should we call?
Sorry, you faded away there.
575
00:43:58,655 --> 00:44:02,491
The peoples central air
defense headquarters.
576
00:44:02,559 --> 00:44:08,130
Where is that, Dimitri
? In omsk. Right.
577
00:44:08,197 --> 00:44:12,435
Yes. Oh, you'll call
them first, will you?
578
00:44:12,502 --> 00:44:17,740
Uh-huh. Listen, do you happen to
have the phone number on you, Dimitri?
579
00:44:17,808 --> 00:44:20,576
I see. Just ask for omsk information.
580
00:44:20,644 --> 00:44:22,611
[stammering]
581
00:44:22,679 --> 00:44:27,516
I'm sorry too, Dimitri. I'm very sorry.
582
00:44:27,584 --> 00:44:30,252
All right, you're sorrier than I am.
583
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,788
But I am sorry as well.
584
00:44:33,824 --> 00:44:36,158
I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri.
585
00:44:36,225 --> 00:44:38,494
Don't say that you're
more sorry than I am,
586
00:44:38,562 --> 00:44:41,730
Because I'm capable of being
just as sorry as you are.
587
00:44:41,798 --> 00:44:46,034
So, we're both sorry,
all right? All right.
588
00:44:46,102 --> 00:44:50,639
Yes, he's right here. He wants
to talk to you. Just a second.
589
00:44:52,442 --> 00:44:56,979
[speaking in russian]
590
00:45:02,919 --> 00:45:06,722
What? [ambassador speaking in russian]
591
00:45:06,790 --> 00:45:11,226
[russian continues]
592
00:45:12,261 --> 00:45:16,431
[russian continues]
593
00:45:23,172 --> 00:45:26,308
What? What is it? What?
594
00:45:26,376 --> 00:45:30,679
The fools. The mad fools.
595
00:45:30,747 --> 00:45:35,217
What's happened? The doomsday machine.
596
00:45:35,284 --> 00:45:37,920
The doomsday machine? What is that?
597
00:45:37,988 --> 00:45:43,458
A device which will destroy all
human and animal life on earth.
598
00:45:43,527 --> 00:45:46,695
[president] all human and animal life?
599
00:45:46,763 --> 00:45:50,833
[gunfire continues]
600
00:46:00,510 --> 00:46:04,146
Mandrake? Yes, jack?
601
00:46:04,213 --> 00:46:07,883
Have you ever seen a commie
drink a glass of water?
602
00:46:07,951 --> 00:46:13,589
Well, I can't say I have,
jack. [nervous chuckle]
603
00:46:13,657 --> 00:46:18,561
Vodka. That's what they
drink, isn't it? Never water.
604
00:46:18,628 --> 00:46:22,865
Well, I believe that's
what they drink, jack. Yes.
605
00:46:22,933 --> 00:46:26,602
On no account will a
commie ever drink water...
606
00:46:26,670 --> 00:46:29,905
And not without good reason.
607
00:46:29,973 --> 00:46:32,675
Oh, ah, yes.
608
00:46:32,742 --> 00:46:36,045
I, um, can't quite...
609
00:46:36,112 --> 00:46:39,048
See what you're getting at, jack.
610
00:46:39,115 --> 00:46:43,619
Water. That's what
I'm getting at. Water.
611
00:46:43,687 --> 00:46:48,724
Mandrake, water is
the source of all life.
612
00:46:48,792 --> 00:46:52,294
Seven-tenths of this
earth's surface is water.
613
00:46:52,361 --> 00:46:57,733
Why, do you realize that
70% of you is water?
614
00:46:57,801 --> 00:47:00,335
Good lord.
615
00:47:00,403 --> 00:47:05,474
And as human beings, you and
I need fresh, pure water...
616
00:47:05,541 --> 00:47:09,144
To replenish our precious
bodily fluids. Yes.
617
00:47:09,212 --> 00:47:14,149
You beginning to understand? Yes.
618
00:47:14,217 --> 00:47:19,154
[chuckling] Mandrake?
619
00:47:19,222 --> 00:47:24,660
Mandrake, have you never wondered
why I drink only distilled water...
620
00:47:24,728 --> 00:47:29,031
Or rainwater and only
pure grain alcohol?
621
00:47:29,099 --> 00:47:33,468
Well, it did occur to me, jack. Yes.
622
00:47:33,536 --> 00:47:38,440
Have you ever heard of a thing
called fluoridation of water?
623
00:47:38,508 --> 00:47:42,577
Uh, yes, I have heard
of that, jack. Yes.
624
00:47:42,646 --> 00:47:47,415
Do you know what it is? No.
No. I don't know what it is.
625
00:47:47,483 --> 00:47:51,620
[gunfire continues] do you
realize that fluoridation...
626
00:47:51,688 --> 00:47:54,456
Is the most monstrously conceived...
627
00:47:54,524 --> 00:47:57,392
And dangerous communist plot
we have ever had to face?
628
00:48:03,466 --> 00:48:05,768
Two can play at that game, soldier.
629
00:48:10,774 --> 00:48:14,309
That's nice shooting, soldier!
630
00:48:14,377 --> 00:48:17,880
[gunfire continues]
631
00:48:37,967 --> 00:48:40,102
Mandrake, come here!
632
00:48:40,170 --> 00:48:45,273
You calling me, jack? Come over
here and help me with this belt.
633
00:48:45,341 --> 00:48:50,278
I, uh-- I haven't had
very much experience,
634
00:48:50,346 --> 00:48:53,949
You know, with those
sort of machines, jack.
635
00:48:54,017 --> 00:48:57,152
I've only ever pressed a
button in my old spitfire.
636
00:48:57,220 --> 00:48:59,154
Mandrake, in the name of her
majesty and the continental congress,
637
00:48:59,222 --> 00:49:01,190
Come here and feed me this belt, boy.
638
00:49:01,257 --> 00:49:06,195
Jack, I'd love to come, but
what's happened, you see,
639
00:49:06,262 --> 00:49:09,965
The string in my leg is gone.
640
00:49:10,033 --> 00:49:12,968
The what? The string. I never told you.
641
00:49:13,036 --> 00:49:17,740
But you see, I got a gammy
leg-- oh, dear. Gone. Shot off.
642
00:49:17,807 --> 00:49:23,912
[gunfire continues] Mandrake, come
here. The red coats are comin'.
643
00:49:23,980 --> 00:49:29,184
When it is detonated, it will
produce enough radioactive fallout...
644
00:49:29,252 --> 00:49:32,387
So that in ten months the
surface of the earth...
645
00:49:32,455 --> 00:49:34,957
Will be as dead as the moon! Ah!
646
00:49:35,024 --> 00:49:37,092
Come on, de sadesky!
That's ridiculous!
647
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:41,363
Our studies show even the worst fallout
is down to a safe level after two weeks.
648
00:49:41,430 --> 00:49:46,368
You've obviously never heard of
cobalt thorium g. What about it?
649
00:49:46,435 --> 00:49:50,505
Cobalt thorium g has a
radioactive half-life of 93 years.
650
00:49:50,573 --> 00:49:53,742
If you take 50 h bombs in
the 100 megaton range...
651
00:49:53,810 --> 00:49:56,311
And jacket them with cobalt thorium g,
652
00:49:56,379 --> 00:50:00,983
When they are exploded they
will produce a doomsday shroud,
653
00:50:01,050 --> 00:50:05,220
A lethal cloud of radioactivity
which will encircle the earth...
654
00:50:05,288 --> 00:50:07,856
For 93 years!
655
00:50:07,924 --> 00:50:11,359
What a load of commie
bull. I mean, after all.
656
00:50:11,427 --> 00:50:15,097
I'm afraid I don't
understand something, alexi.
657
00:50:15,165 --> 00:50:18,834
Is the premier threatening to explode
this if our planes carry out their attack?
658
00:50:18,902 --> 00:50:21,503
No, sir. It is not a
thing a sane man would do.
659
00:50:21,570 --> 00:50:24,506
The doomsday machine is designed
to trigger itself automatically.
660
00:50:24,573 --> 00:50:26,875
But, surely, you can
disarm it somehow. No.
661
00:50:26,943 --> 00:50:31,046
It is designed to explode if any
attempt is made to un-trigger it.
662
00:50:31,114 --> 00:50:33,615
Automatically? It's a commie trick!
663
00:50:33,683 --> 00:50:36,118
We're wasting valuable
time. Look at the big board!
664
00:50:36,186 --> 00:50:38,954
They're getting ready to clobber us!
665
00:50:39,022 --> 00:50:42,757
This is absolute madness. Why
should you build such a thing?
666
00:50:42,826 --> 00:50:44,827
There were those of us
who fought against it.
667
00:50:44,894 --> 00:50:47,863
But in the end we could not keep up with
the expense involved in the arms race,
668
00:50:47,931 --> 00:50:51,466
The space race and the peace race.
669
00:50:51,534 --> 00:50:56,805
At the same time our people grumbled
for more nylons and washing machines.
670
00:50:56,873 --> 00:50:59,474
Our doomsday scheme cost
us just a small fraction...
671
00:50:59,542 --> 00:51:02,845
Of what we have been spending
on defense in a single year.
672
00:51:02,912 --> 00:51:07,282
But the deciding factor was when we learned
your country was working along similar lines.
673
00:51:07,350 --> 00:51:10,385
We were afraid of a doomsday
gap! This is preposterous!
674
00:51:10,453 --> 00:51:12,754
I've never approved
of anything like that.
675
00:51:12,822 --> 00:51:15,557
Our source was the new york times.
676
00:51:15,624 --> 00:51:19,527
Dr. Strangelove, do we have
anything like that in the works?
677
00:51:19,595 --> 00:51:24,733
A moment, please, Mr. President.
678
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,237
Under the authority granted me...
679
00:51:28,304 --> 00:51:32,507
As director of weapons
research and development,
680
00:51:32,575 --> 00:51:36,745
I commissioned last year
a study of this project...
681
00:51:36,812 --> 00:51:39,147
By the bland corporation.
682
00:51:39,215 --> 00:51:44,719
Based on the findings of the
report, my conclusion was that...
683
00:51:44,787 --> 00:51:47,789
This idea was not a
practical deterrent...
684
00:51:47,857 --> 00:51:51,760
For reasons which at this
moment must be all too obvious.
685
00:51:51,827 --> 00:51:55,264
Then you mean it is possible for
them to have built such a thing?
686
00:51:58,734 --> 00:52:02,404
Mr. President, the
technology required...
687
00:52:02,471 --> 00:52:06,375
Is easily within the means
of even the smallest...
688
00:52:06,442 --> 00:52:08,810
Nuclear power.
689
00:52:08,878 --> 00:52:13,681
It requires only the will to do so.
690
00:52:13,749 --> 00:52:17,685
But how is it possible for this
thing to be triggered automatically...
691
00:52:17,753 --> 00:52:20,022
And at the same time
impossible to un-trigger?
692
00:52:20,089 --> 00:52:24,359
Mr. President, it is not only possible,
693
00:52:24,427 --> 00:52:26,561
It is essential.
694
00:52:26,629 --> 00:52:30,698
That is the whole idea
of this machine, you know.
695
00:52:30,766 --> 00:52:35,904
Deterrence is the art of producing
in the mind of the enemy...
696
00:52:35,972 --> 00:52:38,606
The fear to attack.
697
00:52:38,674 --> 00:52:43,611
And so because of the automated and
irrevocable decision-making process...
698
00:52:43,679 --> 00:52:47,615
Which rules out human meddling,
699
00:52:47,683 --> 00:52:51,719
The doomsday machine is terrifying...
700
00:52:51,787 --> 00:52:53,788
And simple to understand...
701
00:52:53,856 --> 00:52:57,459
And completely credible and convincing.
702
00:52:57,526 --> 00:53:00,929
Gee, I wish we had one
of them doomsday machines.
703
00:53:00,997 --> 00:53:04,632
But this is fantastic, Strangelove.
How can it be triggered automatically?
704
00:53:04,700 --> 00:53:08,503
It's remarkably simple to do that.
705
00:53:08,571 --> 00:53:12,107
When you merely wish to bury bombs,
706
00:53:12,175 --> 00:53:14,576
There's no limit to the size.
707
00:53:14,643 --> 00:53:17,846
After that, they are connected...
708
00:53:17,913 --> 00:53:20,915
To a gigantic complex of computers.
709
00:53:20,984 --> 00:53:24,819
Now, then, a specific
and clearly defined...
710
00:53:24,887 --> 00:53:26,888
Set of circumstances...
711
00:53:26,956 --> 00:53:30,225
Under which the bombs
are to be exploded...
712
00:53:30,293 --> 00:53:34,329
Is programmed into a tape memory bank.
713
00:53:34,397 --> 00:53:38,233
Hmm? Strangelove? [Strangelove
continues, indistinct]
714
00:53:38,301 --> 00:53:41,636
What kind of a name is that?
That ain't no kraut name, is it?
715
00:53:41,704 --> 00:53:44,306
He changed it when he became a citizen.
716
00:53:44,374 --> 00:53:47,075
It used to be merkwurdichliebe.
717
00:53:47,143 --> 00:53:51,579
Well, a kraut by any
other name, uh, stainsey?
718
00:53:52,882 --> 00:53:57,819
...Is that the whole point
of the doomsday machine...
719
00:53:57,887 --> 00:54:01,623
Is lost, if you keep it a secret!
720
00:54:01,690 --> 00:54:03,658
Why didn't you tell the world, eh?
721
00:54:03,726 --> 00:54:08,130
It was to be announced at
the party congress on Monday.
722
00:54:08,197 --> 00:54:11,566
As you know, the
premier loves surprises.
723
00:54:11,634 --> 00:54:15,603
[gunfire continues]
724
00:54:18,574 --> 00:54:21,243
[men shouting]
725
00:54:26,149 --> 00:54:28,650
[shouting continues]
726
00:55:00,049 --> 00:55:02,984
Stay with me, Mandrake.
727
00:55:07,223 --> 00:55:11,126
All right, Mandrake. Now,
feed me. Feed me, boy.
728
00:55:38,221 --> 00:55:41,889
[laughs] jack, don't you
think we'd be better off...
729
00:55:41,957 --> 00:55:45,059
In some other part of the room
away from all this flying glass?
730
00:55:45,128 --> 00:55:48,763
We're okay here. [laughs]
731
00:55:48,831 --> 00:55:52,534
Mandrake, do you realize that in
addition to fluoridating water,
732
00:55:52,602 --> 00:55:56,571
There are studies underway
to fluoridate salt, flour,
733
00:55:56,639 --> 00:56:01,843
Fruit, juices, soup,
sugar, milk, ice cream.
734
00:56:01,910 --> 00:56:05,480
- Ice cream, Mandrake. Children's ice cream.
- Good lord.
735
00:56:05,548 --> 00:56:09,217
You know when fluoridation first began?
736
00:56:09,285 --> 00:56:13,588
Uh, no, no. I don't, jack. 1946.
737
00:56:13,656 --> 00:56:16,724
1946, Mandrake. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
738
00:56:16,792 --> 00:56:20,662
How does that coincide with your
postwar commie conspiracy, huh?
739
00:56:20,729 --> 00:56:24,132
It's incredibly obvious, isn't it?
740
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:29,704
A foreign substance is introduced
into our precious bodily fluids...
741
00:56:29,772 --> 00:56:33,107
Without the knowledge of the individual.
742
00:56:33,176 --> 00:56:36,678
Certainly without any
choice. [gunfire continues]
743
00:56:36,745 --> 00:56:39,414
That's the way a
hard-core commie works.
744
00:56:39,482 --> 00:56:41,683
[gunfire continues] [glass shattering]
745
00:56:41,750 --> 00:56:47,589
Ah, jack, jack. Tell me, jack,
when did you first become--
746
00:56:47,657 --> 00:56:50,358
Well, develop this theory?
747
00:56:50,426 --> 00:56:53,595
Well,
I, uh--
748
00:56:53,663 --> 00:56:57,399
I-I first became aware of it, Mandrake,
749
00:56:57,466 --> 00:57:01,135
During the physical act of love. Huh.
750
00:57:01,204 --> 00:57:05,540
Yes, a, uh, profound sense of fatigue,
751
00:57:05,608 --> 00:57:08,109
Feeling of emptiness followed.
752
00:57:08,177 --> 00:57:13,348
Luckily I was able to interpret
these feelings correctly. Uh-huh.
753
00:57:13,416 --> 00:57:16,484
- Loss of essence.
- Huh.
754
00:57:16,552 --> 00:57:20,422
I can assure you it has
not recurred, Mandrake.
755
00:57:20,489 --> 00:57:24,526
Women sense my power,
756
00:57:24,594 --> 00:57:27,995
And they seek the life essence.
757
00:57:28,063 --> 00:57:31,466
I do not avoid women, Mandrake. No.
758
00:57:31,534 --> 00:57:34,236
But I do deny them my essence.
759
00:57:34,303 --> 00:57:37,239
Yes, jack.
760
00:57:49,818 --> 00:57:52,553
[man shouting] cease fire!
761
00:57:52,621 --> 00:57:56,291
[shouting continues]
762
00:58:05,534 --> 00:58:09,871
[gunfire lessening]
763
00:58:13,209 --> 00:58:15,143
My boys must have surrendered.
764
00:58:15,211 --> 00:58:19,281
Well, there it is. Now, jack, listen.
765
00:58:19,348 --> 00:58:23,751
While there's still time, I beg
you, let's recall the wing and--
766
00:58:24,853 --> 00:58:29,157
Those boys were like
my children, Mandrake.
767
00:58:29,225 --> 00:58:32,693
- Now they let me down.
- No, no, jack! Not a bit of it.
768
00:58:32,761 --> 00:58:36,031
I'm sure they all gave
it their very best.
769
00:58:36,098 --> 00:58:38,566
I'm equally sure they
all died thinking of you,
770
00:58:38,634 --> 00:58:41,269
Every man jack of them, jack.
771
00:58:41,337 --> 00:58:43,338
Supposing a bit of
water has gone off, eh?
772
00:58:43,406 --> 00:58:46,141
Certainly one can never be
too sure about those things.
773
00:58:46,208 --> 00:58:49,344
But look at me now. Do I
look all rancid and clotted?
774
00:58:49,412 --> 00:58:52,447
Look at me, jack. Look. Huh? Huh?
775
00:58:52,514 --> 00:58:56,551
And I drink a lot of water. I'm
what you might call a water man.
776
00:58:56,618 --> 00:58:59,921
And I can swear to you,
my boy-- swear to you,
777
00:58:59,989 --> 00:59:02,490
That there's nothing wrong
with my bodily fluids.
778
00:59:02,558 --> 00:59:04,625
Not a thing, jackie.
779
00:59:04,693 --> 00:59:07,128
Mandrake, were you
ever a prisoner of war?
780
00:59:07,196 --> 00:59:10,932
Well, jack, the
time's running very--
781
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:14,102
What? Were you ever a prisoner of war?
782
00:59:14,170 --> 00:59:16,371
Yes, I was, as a matter of fact.
783
00:59:16,439 --> 00:59:20,041
Did they torture you
? Uh, yes, they did.
784
00:59:20,109 --> 00:59:22,710
I was tortured by the japanese,
jack, if you must know.
785
00:59:22,778 --> 00:59:25,480
Not a pretty story.
Well, what happened?
786
00:59:25,547 --> 00:59:27,648
Oh, well, I don't know, jack.
787
00:59:27,716 --> 00:59:30,285
It's difficult to think of
under these conditions, but,
788
00:59:30,353 --> 00:59:32,587
Well, what happened was,
789
00:59:32,654 --> 00:59:35,890
They got me on the old, uh,
rangoon-inchinawa railway.
790
00:59:35,958 --> 00:59:40,428
I was laying train lines for
the bloody japanese puff-puffs.
791
00:59:40,496 --> 00:59:43,764
No, I mean, when they
tortured you, did you talk?
792
00:59:43,832 --> 00:59:46,468
Ah, oh,
no, I--
793
00:59:46,535 --> 00:59:49,471
Well, I don't think they
wanted me to talk, really.
794
00:59:49,538 --> 00:59:52,007
I don't think they
wanted me to say anything.
795
00:59:52,074 --> 00:59:55,010
It was just their way of
having a bit of fun, the swines.
796
00:59:55,077 --> 00:59:58,446
The strange thing is, they
make such bloody good cameras.
797
00:59:58,514 --> 01:00:02,450
You know, those clowns
outside are going to give me...
798
01:00:02,518 --> 01:00:05,820
A pretty good going-over in
a few minutes, for the code.
799
01:00:05,888 --> 01:00:08,523
Yes--
800
01:00:08,591 --> 01:00:12,193
Yes, well, you may have a-- you
may have quite a point there, jack.
801
01:00:12,260 --> 01:00:16,263
I don't know how well I
could stand up under torture.
802
01:00:16,331 --> 01:00:19,534
Well, of course, the answer to
that is, boy, no one ever does.
803
01:00:19,602 --> 01:00:23,805
And my advice to you, jack,
is to give me the code now.
804
01:00:23,873 --> 01:00:26,774
And if those devils come
back and try any rough stuff,
805
01:00:26,842 --> 01:00:30,144
We'll fight 'em together like we
did just now on the floor, eh?
806
01:00:30,212 --> 01:00:33,414
You with your gun and me with
a belt of ammo, feeding you.
807
01:00:33,482 --> 01:00:36,618
"feed me," you said, and
I was feeding you, jack.
808
01:00:36,685 --> 01:00:39,320
You know, Mandrake,
809
01:00:39,388 --> 01:00:42,690
I happen to believe in
a life after this one...
810
01:00:44,159 --> 01:00:47,629
And I know I'll have to
answer for what I've done.
811
01:00:48,931 --> 01:00:50,899
And I think I can.
812
01:00:50,966 --> 01:00:54,201
Yes, of course you can.
Of course you can. You can.
813
01:00:54,269 --> 01:00:56,704
I'm a religious man myself, you know.
814
01:00:56,772 --> 01:01:00,642
I believe in all that sort of thing
and, uh, I'm hoping, you know, jack--
815
01:01:00,709 --> 01:01:03,044
[clanking] you've
dropped your gun, jack.
816
01:01:03,111 --> 01:01:06,614
You know what I-- no, jack,
let me take that for you.
817
01:01:06,682 --> 01:01:08,683
And you know what I'm hoping, jack?
818
01:01:08,751 --> 01:01:11,452
I'm hoping you're going
to give me the code, boy.
819
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:15,222
Oh, you're going to have a little
wash and brush up? What a good idea.
820
01:01:15,290 --> 01:01:17,892
Always did wonders for a man
that, a wash and brush up.
821
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:20,695
Water on the back of the
neck makes you feel marvelous.
822
01:01:20,763 --> 01:01:23,531
That's what we need: Water on
the back of the neck and the code.
823
01:01:23,599 --> 01:01:27,234
Supposing I play a little
guessing game with you, jack boy?
824
01:01:27,302 --> 01:01:30,271
I'll try and guess what
the code is-- [gunshot]
825
01:01:30,338 --> 01:01:32,339
[thudding]
826
01:01:46,789 --> 01:01:51,258
Copilot to navigator. I'm
ready with the fuel figures now.
827
01:01:51,326 --> 01:01:54,295
We have 109,000 total,
828
01:01:54,362 --> 01:01:57,231
79,000 in the mains...
829
01:01:57,299 --> 01:02:00,101
And 30,000 in the auxiliaries.
830
01:02:00,168 --> 01:02:02,103
And that works out to roughly...
831
01:02:02,170 --> 01:02:05,607
Seven hours, 15 minutes
endurance from this time.
832
01:02:05,674 --> 01:02:08,209
D.S.O. To captain.
833
01:02:08,276 --> 01:02:11,412
I have an unidentified radar blip.
834
01:02:12,781 --> 01:02:15,416
Distance: 60 miles.
835
01:02:16,551 --> 01:02:19,687
Approximate speed: Mach three.
836
01:02:19,755 --> 01:02:23,557
Looks like a missile tracking us.
837
01:02:23,626 --> 01:02:26,694
Confirmed: Definite missile track.
838
01:02:26,762 --> 01:02:28,896
Commence evasive action right.
839
01:02:35,070 --> 01:02:38,773
Missile still closing range.
840
01:02:38,841 --> 01:02:42,877
Distance: 50 miles.
Continue evasive action.
841
01:02:42,945 --> 01:02:45,613
Lock e.C.M. To target intercept mode.
842
01:02:45,681 --> 01:02:49,350
E.C.M. Locked to target intercept mode.
843
01:02:49,417 --> 01:02:51,819
Missile still tracking
and closing distance.
844
01:02:51,887 --> 01:02:55,957
Range: 40 miles.
Continue evasive action.
845
01:02:58,827 --> 01:03:03,097
Electronic guidance
scrambler to blue grid.
846
01:03:03,165 --> 01:03:06,634
Missile still tracking
steady and closing distance.
847
01:03:06,702 --> 01:03:08,703
Range: 30 miles.
848
01:03:10,005 --> 01:03:13,141
Missile still closing true and steady.
849
01:03:13,208 --> 01:03:15,209
Continue evasive action.
850
01:03:22,685 --> 01:03:24,686
Range: 20 miles.
851
01:03:24,753 --> 01:03:28,656
Missile still closing
distance and tracking steady.
852
01:03:28,724 --> 01:03:31,159
Attack range gate on maximum scan.
853
01:03:31,226 --> 01:03:33,627
Range gate on maximum scan.
854
01:03:33,696 --> 01:03:36,597
Range: 10 miles.
855
01:03:36,665 --> 01:03:40,634
Missile track deflecting.
Continue evasive action.
856
01:03:40,703 --> 01:03:43,971
Deflection increasing.
Range: Eight miles.
857
01:03:44,039 --> 01:03:47,975
Deflection still
increasing. Range: Six miles.
858
01:03:48,043 --> 01:03:50,778
Missile still deflecting.
Range: Four miles.
859
01:03:56,551 --> 01:03:59,754
Range: Two miles.
Missile still deflecting.
860
01:03:59,822 --> 01:04:02,090
Range: One mile. Missile detonated!
861
01:04:02,157 --> 01:04:04,491
[indistinct shouting]
862
01:04:08,764 --> 01:04:10,865
- Start lever to cut off!
- Cut off!
863
01:04:10,933 --> 01:04:14,168
[electronic shorting-out sounds]
864
01:04:14,236 --> 01:04:17,205
We're losin' power! [indistinct]
865
01:04:24,146 --> 01:04:26,480
Re-select essential power!
866
01:04:26,548 --> 01:04:28,616
Essential power re-selected.
867
01:04:35,157 --> 01:04:37,125
The hatch is stuck!
868
01:04:37,192 --> 01:04:40,628
[electronic shorting-out sounds]
869
01:04:40,695 --> 01:04:43,530
Hit emergency power! Okay.
870
01:04:44,633 --> 01:04:47,501
Extinguishers! Roger!
871
01:04:54,209 --> 01:04:57,478
Transfer switches! Transferred!
872
01:04:57,545 --> 01:04:59,847
Boost pumps off! Cut off!
873
01:05:11,559 --> 01:05:13,594
Fuel valves three, four and six!
874
01:05:26,041 --> 01:05:28,742
Give me full power! Roger.
875
01:05:40,555 --> 01:05:42,990
[Mandrake] peace on earth.
876
01:05:43,058 --> 01:05:45,226
Peace on earth.
877
01:05:45,294 --> 01:05:47,528
Peace on earth.
878
01:05:47,595 --> 01:05:50,298
P.O.E.
879
01:05:50,365 --> 01:05:53,234
Purity of essence.
880
01:05:53,302 --> 01:05:56,837
O.P.O.E.
881
01:05:56,905 --> 01:05:59,140
- O.P.E.--
- [gunshots]
882
01:06:08,016 --> 01:06:10,351
Put your hands over your head.
883
01:06:10,419 --> 01:06:13,054
What the devil do you think
you're doing? Who are you?
884
01:06:13,121 --> 01:06:16,023
I said, put your hands over your head.
885
01:06:16,091 --> 01:06:18,659
What kind of suit do
you call that, fella?
886
01:06:18,726 --> 01:06:20,694
What do you mean, suit?
887
01:06:20,762 --> 01:06:25,299
This happens to be an r.A.F. Uniform, sir,
and I am group captain lionel Mandrake.
888
01:06:25,367 --> 01:06:27,634
I am general Ripper's executive officer.
889
01:06:27,702 --> 01:06:32,106
- Where's general Ripper?
- He's dead, in the bathroom.
890
01:06:32,174 --> 01:06:34,342
Where's the bathroom?
891
01:06:34,409 --> 01:06:36,344
Next to you.
892
01:06:36,411 --> 01:06:39,413
[vehicle engine revving]
893
01:06:43,418 --> 01:06:47,021
[whistles] I don't know what sort of
stupid game this is you're playing,
894
01:06:47,089 --> 01:06:49,890
But I've got a very good
idea what the recall code is,
895
01:06:49,958 --> 01:06:52,893
And I have to get in touch with
sac headquarters immediately!
896
01:06:52,961 --> 01:06:56,663
I said, put your hands over
your head and keep 'em there!
897
01:06:56,731 --> 01:07:00,401
Got any witnesses? What are you
talking about? He shot himself!
898
01:07:00,469 --> 01:07:02,536
While he was shavin', huh?
899
01:07:02,604 --> 01:07:05,772
Now look, colonel bat Guano,
900
01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:08,275
If that really is your name,
901
01:07:08,343 --> 01:07:12,246
May I tell you that I have
a very, very good idea--
902
01:07:12,314 --> 01:07:16,617
I think, I hope, I pray-- what the recall
code is, some theme he kept repeating.
903
01:07:16,684 --> 01:07:19,620
It's a variation on "peace on
earth" or "purity of essence"!
904
01:07:19,687 --> 01:07:22,289
E.O.P., o.P.E., it's one of those!
905
01:07:22,357 --> 01:07:25,393
Put your hands up on top
of your head. Start walkin'.
906
01:07:25,460 --> 01:07:28,162
Don't you know that general Ripper
went as mad as a March hare...
907
01:07:28,230 --> 01:07:30,231
And sent the whole wing
to attack the soviets?
908
01:07:30,298 --> 01:07:33,434
Don't you know that? What
are you talkin' about?
909
01:07:33,502 --> 01:07:35,702
I'll tell you what
I'm talking about.
910
01:07:35,770 --> 01:07:39,840
I'm going to pick up this red
telephone, which is connected to sac,
911
01:07:39,908 --> 01:07:42,843
And I
hope--
912
01:07:42,911 --> 01:07:45,112
Blast. Blast.
913
01:07:45,180 --> 01:07:49,216
Shot away, I expect by one of your
men during this ridiculous fighting!
914
01:07:50,452 --> 01:07:52,653
Right.
915
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:56,090
All right, charlie, I've been
wastin' too much time on you.
916
01:07:56,158 --> 01:08:00,294
I got a lot of wounded
men outside. Start walkin'.
917
01:08:09,237 --> 01:08:12,306
[switches clicking]
918
01:08:22,284 --> 01:08:26,153
All the radio gear is out,
including the c.R.M. 114.
919
01:08:26,221 --> 01:08:29,390
I think the auto-destruct mechanism
got hit and blew itself up.
920
01:08:33,861 --> 01:08:37,098
The fire is out. The
emergency power is on.
921
01:08:37,165 --> 01:08:40,667
Everything seems to check
out all right. Will advise.
922
01:08:40,735 --> 01:08:42,470
Roger. Navigator?
923
01:08:42,537 --> 01:08:46,673
I've worked out our rate of fuel loss
at approximately 1-6-2 per minute.
924
01:08:46,741 --> 01:08:49,543
This gives us a radius of action...
925
01:08:49,611 --> 01:08:54,315
Sufficient to take out primary and
secondary targets, but we will not--
926
01:08:54,382 --> 01:08:58,552
Repeat, not be able to make it
back to any base or neutral country.
927
01:08:58,620 --> 01:09:02,055
However, we would have
enough fuel to ditch...
928
01:09:02,124 --> 01:09:04,825
At weather ship tango delta,
929
01:09:04,892 --> 01:09:08,229
Grid coordinates
0-0-3-6-9-1.
930
01:09:12,967 --> 01:09:15,402
Well, boys, we got three
engines out.
931
01:09:15,470 --> 01:09:18,872
We got more holes in us
than a horse trader's mule.
932
01:09:18,940 --> 01:09:21,375
The radio is gone,
and we're leakin' fuel.
933
01:09:21,443 --> 01:09:24,878
And if we was flyin' any lower, why,
we'd need sleigh bells on this thing.
934
01:09:24,946 --> 01:09:27,914
But we got one little
budge on them ruskies.
935
01:09:27,982 --> 01:09:29,950
At this height they
might harpoon us,
936
01:09:30,018 --> 01:09:33,154
But they dang sure ain't gonna
spot us on no radar screen!
937
01:09:44,299 --> 01:09:47,201
The other way.
Where are you taking me?
938
01:09:47,269 --> 01:09:50,704
To the main gate. Colonel!
939
01:09:50,772 --> 01:09:54,208
Colonel, I must know what you
think has been going on here.
940
01:09:54,276 --> 01:09:56,477
You wanna know what I think? Yes.
941
01:09:56,545 --> 01:09:59,012
I think you're some kind
of deviated "prevert."
942
01:09:59,080 --> 01:10:01,815
I think general Ripper found
out about your preversion...
943
01:10:01,883 --> 01:10:04,552
And that you were organizing
some kind of mutiny of preverts.
944
01:10:04,619 --> 01:10:06,753
Now, move! [jet engines roaring]
945
01:10:06,821 --> 01:10:10,057
On top of that, I don't know anything
about any planes attacking russia.
946
01:10:10,124 --> 01:10:13,894
All I was told to do was get Ripper on the
phone with the president of the United States.
947
01:10:13,961 --> 01:10:18,765
Now just one second. You
just said, "the president."
948
01:10:18,833 --> 01:10:21,034
What about the president?
949
01:10:21,102 --> 01:10:24,305
The president wants to speak
to general Ripper, doesn't he?
950
01:10:24,372 --> 01:10:26,940
Now, general Ripper is dead, is he not?
951
01:10:27,008 --> 01:10:29,276
I am general Ripper's executive officer,
952
01:10:29,344 --> 01:10:32,313
So the president will bloody well
want to speak to me, won't he?
953
01:10:32,380 --> 01:10:36,083
There's a telephone box over
there and the line may be open.
954
01:10:36,150 --> 01:10:39,019
You wanna talk to the
president of the United States?
955
01:10:39,087 --> 01:10:41,922
I don't want to talk to him,
colonel, I've got to talk to him.
956
01:10:41,989 --> 01:10:45,626
And I can assure you, if you don't put
that gun away and stop this stupid nonsense,
957
01:10:45,694 --> 01:10:49,730
The court of inquiry on this
will give you such a pranging,
958
01:10:49,797 --> 01:10:53,934
You'll be lucky if you end up wearing
the uniform of a bloody toilet attendant!
959
01:10:54,001 --> 01:10:56,670
[jet engines roaring]
960
01:10:56,738 --> 01:10:58,672
Okay.
961
01:10:58,740 --> 01:11:02,409
Go ahead, try and get the president
of the United States on the phone.
962
01:11:04,145 --> 01:11:07,114
If you try any preversions in
there, I'll blow your head off.
963
01:11:21,730 --> 01:11:24,565
Operator? This is group
captain lionel Mandrake.
964
01:11:24,633 --> 01:11:26,667
I'm speaking from
burpelson air force base.
965
01:11:26,735 --> 01:11:30,671
Something urgent has come up and I want you
to place an emergency person-to-person call...
966
01:11:30,739 --> 01:11:33,874
With president Merkin Muffley
in the pentagon, washington, d.C.
967
01:11:35,209 --> 01:11:38,445
Uh, burpelson
3-9-1-8-0.
968
01:11:39,614 --> 01:11:42,249
No, I'm perfectly serious.
The president, yes.
969
01:11:42,317 --> 01:11:44,652
The president of the United States.
970
01:11:44,719 --> 01:11:47,655
Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't
got enough change.
971
01:11:47,722 --> 01:11:51,158
Could you, uh-- could you make
this a collect call, operator?
972
01:11:55,997 --> 01:11:59,733
[jet engines roaring]
973
01:12:03,104 --> 01:12:06,707
Just one second, operator.
They won't accept the call.
974
01:12:06,775 --> 01:12:08,709
Have you got 55 cents?
975
01:12:08,777 --> 01:12:11,812
You don't think I'd go into combat
with loose change in my pocket, do you?
976
01:12:14,182 --> 01:12:16,149
Operator, look.
977
01:12:16,217 --> 01:12:20,654
Is it possible to make this an
ordinary-- ordinary trunk call?
978
01:12:20,722 --> 01:12:23,490
Well, what do you call
it? You know, um--
979
01:12:23,558 --> 01:12:26,593
Oh, uh,
station-to-station.
980
01:12:30,665 --> 01:12:34,201
Oh, blast! I'm still 20 cents short.
981
01:12:36,037 --> 01:12:39,473
Operator, hold on. I
shan't keep you a second.
982
01:12:39,541 --> 01:12:43,711
Colonel, that Coca-Cola machine. I
want you to shoot the lock off it.
983
01:12:43,778 --> 01:12:45,879
There may be some change in there.
984
01:12:48,717 --> 01:12:50,884
That's private property.
985
01:12:50,952 --> 01:12:53,854
Colonel, can you possibly imagine
what is going to happen to you,
986
01:12:53,921 --> 01:12:56,623
Your frame outlook, way
of life and everything,
987
01:12:56,691 --> 01:13:01,228
When they learn that you have obstructed a phone
call to the president of the United States?
988
01:13:01,295 --> 01:13:05,298
Can you imagine? Shoot it off!
989
01:13:05,367 --> 01:13:09,002
Shoot with the gun! That's what
the bullets are for, you twit!
990
01:13:09,070 --> 01:13:11,938
Okay, I'm gonna get your money for you.
991
01:13:12,006 --> 01:13:15,275
But if you don't get the president on
that phone, you know what's gonna happen?
992
01:13:15,343 --> 01:13:16,744
What?
993
01:13:16,811 --> 01:13:20,447
You're gonna have to answer
to the Coca-Cola company.
994
01:13:22,183 --> 01:13:24,918
[gunshots]
995
01:13:29,524 --> 01:13:32,659
[from P.A. System] this is
sac communications control.
996
01:13:32,727 --> 01:13:36,129
The recall code o.P.E....
997
01:13:36,197 --> 01:13:38,432
Is being acknowledged "roger"...
998
01:13:38,500 --> 01:13:43,069
By elements of the
8-4-3 bomb wing.
999
01:13:43,137 --> 01:13:45,171
These are the details.
1000
01:13:45,239 --> 01:13:49,777
Missions 12, 22, 30 and 38...
1001
01:13:49,844 --> 01:13:53,447
Are reported destroyed by enemy action.
1002
01:13:53,515 --> 01:13:57,017
All other missions have
acknowledged recall code.
1003
01:13:57,084 --> 01:14:00,120
This is sac communications
control. Over and out.
1004
01:14:00,187 --> 01:14:03,690
[whistling] gentlemen, gentlemen!
1005
01:14:03,758 --> 01:14:06,259
Ah, gentlemen,
1006
01:14:06,327 --> 01:14:08,295
Mr. President,
1007
01:14:08,362 --> 01:14:10,931
I'm not a sentimentalist
at all by nature,
1008
01:14:10,998 --> 01:14:13,867
But I think I know what's
in every heart in this room.
1009
01:14:13,935 --> 01:14:17,137
I think we ought to all
just bow our heads...
1010
01:14:17,204 --> 01:14:19,807
And give a short prayer of
thanks for our deliverance.
1011
01:14:19,874 --> 01:14:22,509
Lord,
1012
01:14:22,577 --> 01:14:27,113
Uh, we have heard the wings
of the angel of death...
1013
01:14:27,181 --> 01:14:29,983
Fluttering over our heads
from the valley of fear.
1014
01:14:30,051 --> 01:14:32,853
You have seen fit to deliver
us from the forces of evil--
1015
01:14:32,921 --> 01:14:34,855
Excuse me, sir.
1016
01:14:34,923 --> 01:14:37,758
Premier kissoff's calling
again and he's hopping mad.
1017
01:14:44,466 --> 01:14:48,401
Fuel flow on active engines
and leakage has increased.
1018
01:14:48,470 --> 01:14:52,539
Now works
out at 2-0-5.
1019
01:14:53,575 --> 01:14:55,576
Estimate remaining fuel...
1020
01:14:55,643 --> 01:14:59,580
At
8-7-9-0.
1021
01:15:02,884 --> 01:15:06,720
Uh, roger. Confirm
2-0-5 per minute...
1022
01:15:06,788 --> 01:15:10,924
And remaining
fuel 8-7-9-0.
1023
01:15:17,398 --> 01:15:21,468
No, no, Dimitri, there
must be some mistake.
1024
01:15:21,536 --> 01:15:23,637
No, I'm certain of that.
1025
01:15:23,705 --> 01:15:27,908
I'm perfectly certain of that, Dimitri.
1026
01:15:27,976 --> 01:15:30,878
Just a second. You know what he says?
1027
01:15:30,945 --> 01:15:33,179
He says that one of the
planes hasn't turned back.
1028
01:15:33,247 --> 01:15:35,883
He says according to information
forwarded by our air staffs,
1029
01:15:35,950 --> 01:15:38,852
It's headed for the
missile complex at laputa.
1030
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:41,788
[mumbling]
1031
01:15:41,856 --> 01:15:44,825
[laughing] that's
impossible, Mr. President.
1032
01:15:44,893 --> 01:15:46,960
I mean, look at the big board.
1033
01:15:47,028 --> 01:15:50,163
Thirty-four planes, 30 recalls
acknowledged and four splashes,
1034
01:15:50,231 --> 01:15:53,133
And one of them was targeted for laputa.
1035
01:15:56,037 --> 01:15:59,239
Dimitri, look, we've got an
acknowledgement from every plane...
1036
01:15:59,306 --> 01:16:02,543
Except the four you've shot down.
1037
01:16:02,610 --> 01:16:05,679
Oh. Oh.
1038
01:16:07,415 --> 01:16:09,850
[clears
throat] he's--
1039
01:16:09,918 --> 01:16:12,252
Hang on a second, Dimitri.
1040
01:16:12,319 --> 01:16:15,689
He says their air defense now only
claims three aircraft confirmed.
1041
01:16:15,757 --> 01:16:18,291
The fourth may only be damaged.
1042
01:16:20,394 --> 01:16:22,328
Mr. President,
1043
01:16:22,396 --> 01:16:24,765
I'm beginnin' to smell
a big, fat commie rat.
1044
01:16:24,832 --> 01:16:28,468
I mean, supposin' kissoff is
lyin' about that fourth plane,
1045
01:16:28,536 --> 01:16:30,938
Just lookin' for an
excuse to clobber us?
1046
01:16:31,005 --> 01:16:33,506
If the spaghetti hits the fan,
now we're really in trouble.
1047
01:16:37,579 --> 01:16:40,013
Dimitri, look, if this report is true...
1048
01:16:40,081 --> 01:16:43,884
And the plane manages
to bomb the target,
1049
01:16:43,952 --> 01:16:48,221
Is this-- is this gonna-- is this
gonna set off the doomsday machine?
1050
01:16:51,392 --> 01:16:54,527
Are you sure?
1051
01:16:54,596 --> 01:16:59,132
Well, I-- I guess you're just gonna
have to get that plane, Dimitri.
1052
01:16:59,200 --> 01:17:02,302
Dimitri, I'm sorry they're jamming
your radar and flying so low,
1053
01:17:02,369 --> 01:17:04,771
But they're trained to do it, you know?
1054
01:17:04,839 --> 01:17:07,941
It's initiative.
1055
01:17:08,009 --> 01:17:10,877
Look, Dimitri, you know
exactly where they're going,
1056
01:17:10,945 --> 01:17:14,114
And I'm sure your entire air
defense can stop a single plane.
1057
01:17:17,284 --> 01:17:20,687
It's not gonna help either one of
us if the doomsday machine goes off,
1058
01:17:20,755 --> 01:17:23,389
Now, is it?
1059
01:17:23,457 --> 01:17:28,662
Dimitri, there's no point in you getting
hysterical at a moment like this!
1060
01:17:28,730 --> 01:17:33,000
Dimitri, keep your feet on the
ground when you're talking to me.
1061
01:17:33,067 --> 01:17:35,335
I am not-- I
am not getting--
1062
01:17:35,402 --> 01:17:37,838
No, Dimitri, I'm just worried.
1063
01:17:37,905 --> 01:17:39,840
That's all.
1064
01:17:39,907 --> 01:17:42,943
Now look, if our air staffs say
its primary target is laputa...
1065
01:17:43,011 --> 01:17:45,012
And its secondary target is borchov,
1066
01:17:45,079 --> 01:17:48,481
I mean, it's true, Dimitri,
you gotta believe it!
1067
01:17:48,549 --> 01:17:52,285
Look, can I give-- Dimitri,
can I give you just one word--
1068
01:17:52,353 --> 01:17:55,656
Can I give you just one
word of advice, Dimitri?
1069
01:17:55,723 --> 01:17:57,691
Listen, Dimitri.
1070
01:17:57,759 --> 01:18:01,094
Put everything you've got into those
two sectors, and you can't miss!
1071
01:18:07,418 --> 01:18:11,121
Sir, if we continue to lose
fuel at the present rate,
1072
01:18:11,188 --> 01:18:15,325
I estimate we only have,
uh, 38 minutes flying time,
1073
01:18:15,393 --> 01:18:17,861
Which will not even take
us as far as the primary.
1074
01:18:17,928 --> 01:18:21,865
Doggone it, sweets, you told me that
you could get me to the primary!
1075
01:18:21,932 --> 01:18:24,368
I'm sorry, sir, that
estimate was based on...
1076
01:18:24,435 --> 01:18:27,638
The original loss rate
factor, not at 2-0-5.
1077
01:18:27,705 --> 01:18:29,973
I don't give a hoot
in hell how you do it,
1078
01:18:30,040 --> 01:18:32,208
You just get me to
the primary, you hear?
1079
01:18:32,277 --> 01:18:35,712
I'm sorry, sir, but
those are the figures.
1080
01:18:35,780 --> 01:18:39,048
We'll be lucky to reach
weather ship at tango delta.
1081
01:18:39,116 --> 01:18:41,318
Well, shoot!
1082
01:18:41,386 --> 01:18:45,188
We ain't come this far just to
dump this thing in the drink.
1083
01:18:45,256 --> 01:18:47,824
What's the nearest
target of opportunity?
1084
01:18:56,534 --> 01:18:59,303
Sir, if the rate of
loss does not increase,
1085
01:18:59,370 --> 01:19:03,139
We have a chance to
reach target 3-8-4,
1086
01:19:03,207 --> 01:19:08,044
Grid coordinate
0-0-3-6-9-1...
1087
01:19:08,112 --> 01:19:11,981
And possibly make it from there
to the tango delta weather ship.
1088
01:19:12,049 --> 01:19:14,184
What kind of a target is that, anyhow?
1089
01:19:14,251 --> 01:19:18,188
Sir, that's the I.C.B.M.
Complex at kotloss.
1090
01:19:18,255 --> 01:19:21,958
All right, designating new target:
1091
01:19:22,026 --> 01:19:23,993
3-8-4.
1092
01:19:24,061 --> 01:19:27,096
Give me a rough headin' on that just
as soon as you can get it worked out.
1093
01:19:38,626 --> 01:19:42,546
We'll keep our fingers crossed, Dimitri,
and remember, there's just one thing:
1094
01:19:42,613 --> 01:19:45,549
We are all in this together.
We're right behind you, Dimitri.
1095
01:19:45,616 --> 01:19:47,984
We're with you all the way.
1096
01:19:48,052 --> 01:19:51,755
Yes, well, we'll keep the line open.
1097
01:19:51,823 --> 01:19:54,157
All right, Dimitri.
1098
01:19:55,159 --> 01:19:57,126
General Turgidson,
1099
01:19:57,194 --> 01:20:00,464
Is there really a chance for
that plane to get through?
1100
01:20:02,099 --> 01:20:04,568
Mr. President, if I may speak freely,
1101
01:20:04,635 --> 01:20:07,571
The ruskie talks big, but frankly
we think he's short of know-how.
1102
01:20:07,638 --> 01:20:10,340
I mean, you just can't expect
a bunch of ignorant peons...
1103
01:20:10,408 --> 01:20:12,843
To understand a machine
like some of our boys.
1104
01:20:12,910 --> 01:20:15,379
And that's not meant as
an insult, Mr. Ambassador.
1105
01:20:15,446 --> 01:20:17,947
You take your average ruskie, we
all know how much guts he's got.
1106
01:20:18,015 --> 01:20:21,217
Hell, look at all of 'em them nazis
killed off, and they still wouldn't quit!
1107
01:20:21,285 --> 01:20:23,152
Can't you stick to the point, general?
1108
01:20:23,220 --> 01:20:26,990
Well, uh, sir, uh, if
the pilot's good, see--
1109
01:20:27,057 --> 01:20:30,694
I mean, if he's really sharp, he
can barrel that baby in so low.
1110
01:20:30,762 --> 01:20:33,196
You oughta see it
sometime! It's a sight!
1111
01:20:33,264 --> 01:20:35,766
A big plane, like a 52, vroom!
1112
01:20:35,833 --> 01:20:38,902
Its jet exhaust fryin'
chickens in the barnyard!
1113
01:20:38,969 --> 01:20:42,138
-Yeah, but has he got a chance?
-Has he got a chance?
1114
01:20:42,206 --> 01:20:45,308
Hell, yeah--
ye-- ye--
1115
01:20:46,444 --> 01:20:48,412
Yeah.
1116
01:21:09,116 --> 01:21:11,083
Navigator to captain.
1117
01:21:11,151 --> 01:21:15,154
Approaching target
at distance 1-0 miles.
1118
01:21:15,222 --> 01:21:18,558
Switch from green grid to target orange.
1119
01:21:18,626 --> 01:21:20,427
Ready for final bomb run check.
1120
01:21:20,494 --> 01:21:23,229
Take over, ace. Roger.
1121
01:21:28,502 --> 01:21:31,003
- D.S.O. Ready.
- Bombardier ready, sir.
1122
01:21:31,071 --> 01:21:33,272
Bomb fusing, master safety on.
1123
01:21:33,340 --> 01:21:36,443
Electronic barometric time and impact.
1124
01:21:36,510 --> 01:21:39,145
Uh, bomb fusing, master safeties on.
1125
01:21:39,212 --> 01:21:41,948
Electronic barometric time and impact.
1126
01:21:42,015 --> 01:21:45,618
[Kong] fuse for ground burst.
Delay factor yellow three.
1127
01:21:45,686 --> 01:21:48,354
Fuse for ground burst.
Delay factor yellow three.
1128
01:21:48,422 --> 01:21:51,190
Bomb fusing circuits
one through four, test.
1129
01:21:51,258 --> 01:21:54,861
Bomb fusing circuits one
through four, test. Lights on.
1130
01:21:54,929 --> 01:21:57,864
Bomb arming test lights
on, one through four.
1131
01:21:57,932 --> 01:22:00,767
Bomb arming test lights
on, one through four.
1132
01:22:00,835 --> 01:22:03,570
[Kong] engage primary
trigger switch override.
1133
01:22:03,637 --> 01:22:06,739
Primary trigger switch override engaged.
1134
01:22:06,807 --> 01:22:09,375
Track indicators to maximum deflection.
1135
01:22:09,443 --> 01:22:11,911
Track indicators to maximum deflection.
1136
01:22:11,979 --> 01:22:15,181
Detonator set to zero altitude.
1137
01:22:15,248 --> 01:22:18,017
Detonator set to zero altitude.
1138
01:22:18,085 --> 01:22:19,786
Release first safety.
1139
01:22:24,024 --> 01:22:26,025
First safety released.
1140
01:22:27,361 --> 01:22:30,797
- First safety.
- Release second safety.
1141
01:22:33,567 --> 01:22:35,434
Second safety released.
1142
01:22:35,503 --> 01:22:38,404
Second safety.
1143
01:22:45,913 --> 01:22:48,615
Check bomb door circuits,
one through four.
1144
01:22:59,159 --> 01:23:02,629
Uh, bomb door circuits,
1145
01:23:02,696 --> 01:23:05,297
Negative function, lights red.
1146
01:23:05,365 --> 01:23:07,967
Switch in backup circuits. Roger.
1147
01:23:08,035 --> 01:23:12,038
Backup circuits switched
in. Still negative function.
1148
01:23:12,105 --> 01:23:15,909
- Engage emergency power.
- Roger.
1149
01:23:15,976 --> 01:23:18,711
Uh, emergency power on.
Still negative function.
1150
01:23:20,748 --> 01:23:22,815
Operate manual override!
1151
01:23:24,317 --> 01:23:25,952
Roger.
1152
01:23:35,462 --> 01:23:37,964
Uh, still negative function.
1153
01:23:38,032 --> 01:23:40,733
The teleflex drive cable
must be sheared away.
1154
01:23:40,801 --> 01:23:45,038
- Fire the explosive bolts!
- Roger.
1155
01:23:57,517 --> 01:23:59,452
Uh--
1156
01:23:59,519 --> 01:24:03,255
Still negative, sir. The
operating circuits are dead, sir.
1157
01:24:08,596 --> 01:24:12,531
Stay on the bomb run, ace. I'm goin'
down below and see what I can do.
1158
01:24:12,600 --> 01:24:14,601
Roger.
1159
01:24:24,678 --> 01:24:26,946
Stay on the bomb run, boys.
1160
01:24:27,014 --> 01:24:31,250
I'm gonna get them doors open if it
harelips everybody on bear creek!
1161
01:25:02,750 --> 01:25:06,318
[electronic shorting-out sounds]
1162
01:25:24,805 --> 01:25:27,674
Target orange grid reference checks.
1163
01:25:27,741 --> 01:25:30,043
Target distance: Eight miles.
1164
01:25:30,110 --> 01:25:32,244
Roger. Eight miles.
1165
01:25:32,312 --> 01:25:34,647
Telemetric guidance
computer into orange grid.
1166
01:25:34,715 --> 01:25:37,150
Telemetric guidance
computer into orange grid.
1167
01:25:45,759 --> 01:25:48,327
Target distance: Seven miles.
1168
01:25:48,395 --> 01:25:51,798
Correct track indicator: Minus seven.
1169
01:25:51,865 --> 01:25:55,434
[ace] roger. Seven miles.
Check g.P.I. Acceleration factor.
1170
01:25:55,502 --> 01:25:57,536
G.P.I. Acceleration factor set.
1171
01:26:00,908 --> 01:26:03,409
Target distance: Six miles.
1172
01:26:03,476 --> 01:26:07,080
Roger. Six miles. Pulse
"ident" transponder active.
1173
01:26:07,147 --> 01:26:09,782
Pulse ident transponder active.
1174
01:26:16,824 --> 01:26:19,892
Target distance: Five miles.
1175
01:26:19,960 --> 01:26:23,930
[ace] five miles. Homing
alignment factor to zero mode.
1176
01:26:23,997 --> 01:26:26,032
Homing alignment factor to zero mode.
1177
01:26:29,603 --> 01:26:32,138
Target distance: Four miles.
1178
01:26:32,206 --> 01:26:34,140
Roger. Four miles.
1179
01:26:34,208 --> 01:26:36,876
Auto c.D.C. Into manual teleflex link.
1180
01:26:36,944 --> 01:26:39,578
Auto c.D.C. Into manual teleflex link.
1181
01:26:49,757 --> 01:26:52,291
Target distance: Three miles.
1182
01:26:52,359 --> 01:26:54,927
Roger. Three miles.
1183
01:26:54,995 --> 01:26:58,664
Target in sight! Where
in hell is major Kong?
1184
01:27:07,307 --> 01:27:10,059
[whooshing sound]
1185
01:27:10,127 --> 01:27:12,779
Ya-hoo!
1186
01:27:15,282 --> 01:27:17,850
Ya-hoo!
1187
01:27:17,918 --> 01:27:20,319
Ya-hoo!
1188
01:27:22,355 --> 01:27:27,126
- Hey, what about
major Kong? - Ya-hoo!
1189
01:27:27,194 --> 01:27:32,031
Ye-haw!
1190
01:27:32,099 --> 01:27:35,935
Whoo-hoo!
1191
01:27:51,819 --> 01:27:55,554
Mr. President, I would
not rule out the chance...
1192
01:27:55,622 --> 01:27:58,691
To preserve a nucleus
of human specimens.
1193
01:27:58,758 --> 01:28:01,627
It would be quite easy.
1194
01:28:01,695 --> 01:28:03,996
[laughing]
1195
01:28:04,064 --> 01:28:06,265
At the bottom of, uh,
1196
01:28:06,333 --> 01:28:09,168
Some of our deeper mine shafts.
1197
01:28:09,236 --> 01:28:14,073
The radioactivity would never penetrate
a mine some thousands of feet deep.
1198
01:28:14,141 --> 01:28:18,377
And in a matter of weeks, sufficient
improvements in dwelling space...
1199
01:28:18,445 --> 01:28:20,412
Could easily be provided.
1200
01:28:20,480 --> 01:28:23,216
How long would you have
to stay down there?
1201
01:28:23,283 --> 01:28:27,186
Well, that's, you
know, uh-- [inhaling]
1202
01:28:27,254 --> 01:28:29,889
Cobalt thorium g.
1203
01:28:29,957 --> 01:28:31,958
Uh--
1204
01:28:36,363 --> 01:28:38,364
Uh--
1205
01:28:40,167 --> 01:28:43,970
Radioactive
half-life of, uh--
1206
01:28:44,037 --> 01:28:46,005
Hmm.
1207
01:28:46,073 --> 01:28:49,541
I would think that, uh, possibly, uh,
1208
01:28:49,609 --> 01:28:52,044
One hundred years.
1209
01:28:52,112 --> 01:28:54,046
You mean,
1210
01:28:54,114 --> 01:28:57,116
People could actually stay
down there for 100 years?
1211
01:28:57,184 --> 01:28:59,418
It would not be difficult, mein fuhrer.
1212
01:28:59,486 --> 01:29:01,754
Nuclear reactors
could-- [laughing]
1213
01:29:01,821 --> 01:29:04,156
I'm sorry, Mr. President.
1214
01:29:04,224 --> 01:29:08,060
Nuclear reactors could provide
power almost indefinitely.
1215
01:29:08,128 --> 01:29:10,963
Greenhouses could maintain plant life.
1216
01:29:11,031 --> 01:29:14,600
Animals could be bred and slaughtered.
1217
01:29:14,667 --> 01:29:16,602
A quick survey would have to be made...
1218
01:29:16,669 --> 01:29:19,138
Of all the available
mine sites in the country.
1219
01:29:19,206 --> 01:29:23,009
But I would guess that
a dwelling space...
1220
01:29:23,076 --> 01:29:26,712
For several hundred thousand of
our people could easily be provided.
1221
01:29:26,780 --> 01:29:29,916
Well, I-- I would hate
to have to decide...
1222
01:29:29,983 --> 01:29:32,919
Who stays up and who goes down.
1223
01:29:32,986 --> 01:29:36,889
Well, that would not be
necessary, Mr. President.
1224
01:29:36,957 --> 01:29:39,792
It could easily be
accomplished with a computer.
1225
01:29:39,859 --> 01:29:42,194
And the computer could
be set and programmed...
1226
01:29:42,262 --> 01:29:45,331
To accept factors from youth, health,
1227
01:29:45,399 --> 01:29:48,567
Sexual fertility, intelligence...
1228
01:29:48,635 --> 01:29:51,137
And a cross-section
of necessary skills.
1229
01:29:51,204 --> 01:29:53,472
Of course, it would
be absolutely vital...
1230
01:29:53,540 --> 01:29:57,476
That our top government and
military men be included,
1231
01:29:57,544 --> 01:30:00,079
To foster and impart the
required principles...
1232
01:30:00,147 --> 01:30:02,381
Of leadership and tradition.
1233
01:30:02,449 --> 01:30:04,450
Aaah!
1234
01:30:08,455 --> 01:30:11,390
Naturally, they would
breed prodigiously, eh?
1235
01:30:11,458 --> 01:30:14,226
There would be much
time and little to do.
1236
01:30:14,294 --> 01:30:16,262
[giggling]
1237
01:30:16,330 --> 01:30:20,799
But with the proper breeding
techniques and a ratio of, say,
1238
01:30:20,867 --> 01:30:23,635
Ten females to each male,
1239
01:30:23,703 --> 01:30:26,105
I would guess that they could
then work their way back...
1240
01:30:26,173 --> 01:30:30,176
To the present gross national
product within, say, 20 years.
1241
01:30:30,243 --> 01:30:32,178
But look here, doctor.
1242
01:30:32,245 --> 01:30:35,982
Wouldn't this nucleus
of survivors be so...
1243
01:30:36,049 --> 01:30:39,285
Grief-stricken and
anguished that they--
1244
01:30:39,353 --> 01:30:42,821
Well, envy the dead and
not want to go on living?
1245
01:30:42,889 --> 01:30:45,791
No, sir. Excuse me.
1246
01:30:55,068 --> 01:30:58,971
When they go down into the mine,
everyone would still be alive.
1247
01:30:59,039 --> 01:31:01,107
There would be no shocking memories...
1248
01:31:01,174 --> 01:31:05,878
And the prevailing emotion will be
one of nostalgia for those left behind,
1249
01:31:05,945 --> 01:31:08,814
Combined with a spirt of...
1250
01:31:08,882 --> 01:31:11,283
Bold curiosity for the adventure ahead!
1251
01:31:11,351 --> 01:31:13,352
Aaah!
1252
01:31:19,359 --> 01:31:21,427
Aaah!
1253
01:31:28,835 --> 01:31:30,802
Doctor,
1254
01:31:32,972 --> 01:31:36,342
You mentioned the, uh, ratio of, uh,
1255
01:31:36,410 --> 01:31:38,577
Ten women to each man.
1256
01:31:38,645 --> 01:31:41,580
Now, wouldn't that
necessitate the abandonment...
1257
01:31:41,648 --> 01:31:45,317
Of the so-called monogamous
sexual relationship?
1258
01:31:45,385 --> 01:31:49,188
I mean, as far as men were concerned?
1259
01:31:49,256 --> 01:31:51,190
Regrettably, yes.
1260
01:31:51,258 --> 01:31:56,062
But it is, you know, a sacrifice
required for the future of the human race.
1261
01:31:56,129 --> 01:32:01,167
I hasten to add that since each man
will be required to do prodigious...
1262
01:32:02,869 --> 01:32:04,836
Service along these lines,
1263
01:32:04,904 --> 01:32:08,674
The women will have to be selected
for their sexual characteristics,
1264
01:32:08,741 --> 01:32:12,545
Which will have to be of a
highly stimulating nature.
1265
01:32:12,612 --> 01:32:16,449
I must confess, you have an
astonishingly good idea there, doctor.
1266
01:32:16,516 --> 01:32:19,085
Thank you, sir.
1267
01:32:19,152 --> 01:32:22,088
I think we ought to look at this
from the military point of view.
1268
01:32:22,155 --> 01:32:26,058
I mean, uh, supposing the ruskies...
1269
01:32:26,126 --> 01:32:29,061
Stashed away some big
bombs, see, and we didn't?
1270
01:32:29,129 --> 01:32:32,064
When they come out in 100
years, they could take over!
1271
01:32:32,132 --> 01:32:34,133
[faceman] I agree, Mr. President.
1272
01:32:34,201 --> 01:32:37,603
They might even try an immediate sneak attack
so they could take over our mine shaft space.
1273
01:32:37,670 --> 01:32:40,206
[Turgidson] it'd be extremely
naive of us, Mr. President,
1274
01:32:40,273 --> 01:32:42,274
To imagine that these
new developments...
1275
01:32:42,342 --> 01:32:45,244
Are gonna cause any change in
soviet expansionist policy!
1276
01:32:45,312 --> 01:32:48,180
I mean, we must be
increasingly on the alert...
1277
01:32:48,248 --> 01:32:50,749
To prevent them from taking
over other mine shaft space...
1278
01:32:50,817 --> 01:32:52,951
In order to breed more
prodigiously than we do,
1279
01:32:53,019 --> 01:32:55,988
Thus knocking us out through
superior numbers when we emerge!
1280
01:32:56,055 --> 01:33:00,159
Mr. President, we must not
allow a mine-shaft gap!
1281
01:33:00,227 --> 01:33:02,328
Sir!
1282
01:33:02,395 --> 01:33:04,696
I have a plan--
1283
01:33:06,166 --> 01:33:08,501
Mein fuhrer,
1284
01:33:08,568 --> 01:33:11,237
I can walk!
1285
01:33:16,576 --> 01:33:20,346
♪ We'll meet again
1286
01:33:20,413 --> 01:33:22,948
♪ Don't know where
1287
01:33:23,016 --> 01:33:26,619
♪ Don't know when
1288
01:33:26,686 --> 01:33:30,456
♪ But I know we'll meet again ♪
1289
01:33:30,524 --> 01:33:34,426
♪ Some sunny day
1290
01:33:37,264 --> 01:33:41,066
♪ Keep smiling through
1291
01:33:41,134 --> 01:33:46,438
♪ Just like you always do
1292
01:33:46,506 --> 01:33:49,007
♪ 'til the blue skies
1293
01:33:49,075 --> 01:33:54,613
♪ Drive the dark clouds far away ♪
1294
01:33:55,782 --> 01:33:59,818
♪ So will you please say hello ♪
1295
01:33:59,886 --> 01:34:02,421
♪ To the folks that I know
1296
01:34:02,489 --> 01:34:06,492
♪ Tell them I won't be long ♪
1297
01:34:07,561 --> 01:34:10,329
♪ They'll be happy to know
1298
01:34:10,397 --> 01:34:13,299
♪ That as you saw me go
1299
01:34:13,366 --> 01:34:17,736
♪ I was singing this song
1300
01:34:18,938 --> 01:34:22,675
♪ We'll meet again
1301
01:34:22,742 --> 01:34:25,277
♪ Don't know where
1302
01:34:25,345 --> 01:34:28,480
♪ Don't know when
1303
01:34:28,548 --> 01:34:33,185
♪ But I know we'll meet again
1304
01:34:33,253 --> 01:34:42,060
♪ Some sunny day