1 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,178 Okay. You want the bad news, the worse news 2 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,213 or the cock-a-doodle-dung news? 3 00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:13,614 Uh, I'm feeling adventurous. 4 00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:16,117 Let's go with the cock-a-doodle-dung news. 5 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:17,818 Sacramento Sally just informed me 6 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,553 that they're shutting down East Humboldt, 7 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,021 our stepsister branch. 8 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,123 They got E-Hum? 9 00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:25,126 - Oh, no. - Yep. It has begun. 10 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,527 This is bad for us. 11 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,529 Apparently, customer reviews are "subpar," 12 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:33,033 and since this is "not golf," that means "not good." 13 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,069 We should get subs and go golfing. 14 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,138 Sandwiches and sand wedges? 15 00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:38,672 And if that weren't bad enough, 16 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,008 check out the latest 10 and 2. 17 00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:42,810 "Rude, where's my car?" 18 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,245 Funny. 19 00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,013 "South Hollywood fights back against auto theft." 20 00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:47,348 I love the DMV mag. 21 00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,217 We all do, but now that South Ho manager 22 00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:50,718 has a three-page spread, 23 00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,052 I'm the only Hollywood branch manager 24 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,387 who hasn't been featured. 25 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:55,223 Barb, you've always said that running a DMV 26 00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:56,690 - is its own reward. - Sure, 27 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,392 but we need all the good PR we can get. 28 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,562 And a little howdy-do for my hard work would be nice. 29 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,063 Oh, Barb. 30 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,566 This is the Smacking Beavers all over again. 31 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,067 Don't say anything. 32 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,502 Just give it a moment. Maybe she'll move on. 33 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,003 Sorry, mate, I can't do it. 34 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,439 What-what's "Smacking Beavers"? 35 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,907 My high school football team. I was the mascot. 36 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,409 Bet you got shoved into 37 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,178 a lot of garbage cans by cool guys like me. 38 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:20,781 Are all the other cool guys as successful as you are now? 39 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,551 More. 40 00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,453 - Oh. - More successful. 41 00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,455 Putting on that head was the thrill of my life. 42 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:30,090 Crowds would roar when I hit the field. 43 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,759 To this day, I've never gotten credit. 44 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,362 Nobody knows I was the Beev. 45 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,896 That is so sad. 46 00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,432 But also, I-I feel like you could just 47 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,801 tell people it was you. 48 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,402 And violate the mascot code? 49 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:45,372 I barely graduated because every class I had to miss 50 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,475 for a game, I couldn't tell 'em why. 51 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:50,478 So, meeting adjourned, I guess? 52 00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:51,979 Hold on. I think I got a picture. 53 00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:53,447 Hey, Siri, 54 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:54,815 find a picture of my beaver. 55 00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:56,917 - No. - I got a call to make. 56 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:58,286 Sorry, I didn't quite get that. 57 00:01:58,419 --> 00:01:59,887 Go, go, go. 58 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,861 Wow. 59 00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,062 - Dang. - Wow. 60 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,765 That is one talented beaver. 61 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,435 - That cannot be Barb. - There's no way. 62 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,837 Aw, tutti-frutti! 63 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,939 - Oh, yeah, yeah. I see her now. - Oh, that's Barb. - Yep. Yeah, I see it. 64 00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:20,308 - There it is. - There she is. 65 00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:21,475 God, look at her. 66 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,344 She had so much spirit even then. 67 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,978 And now she's working so hard to keep this branch afloat, 68 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:28,549 and she still can't get any recognition. 69 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,952 Yeah, and there's nothing you can do to change it. 70 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,622 You're right. I can change it. 71 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,089 Later, nerds. 72 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,326 I got a driving test. 73 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,093 - Hey, Noa. - What's up? 74 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:44,432 Okay, I printed some of the reviews from online. 75 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,867 Barb wasn't kidding... they're... they're terrible. 76 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,101 Especially you two. 77 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,670 They read more like hate mail. 78 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,706 Ah, nothing can hurt me more than Tanya saying "I do." 79 00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:55,442 I mean, how bad could they be? 80 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,043 Right? 81 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,684 "This guy who looks like he was born near a microwave 82 00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:06,119 "made me sit in the CVS parking lot 83 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,655 for 20 minutes 84 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,391 while he got his prescriptions filled." 85 00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,526 What? That is a blatant lie. 86 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,562 I was buying Powerball tickets. 87 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,297 - Hmm. - Didn't win. 88 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,966 This one says, "I got a condescending lecture 89 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,869 from a well-educated, articulate guy." Who's that? 90 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,036 It's me. 91 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,505 - He's afraid to say "Black." - Oh. 92 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,139 "I asked him if I should turn my lights on, 93 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,908 "and he said, 'Doesn't matter to me. 94 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,910 I've been living in darkness since the day I got married.'" 95 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,679 Oh, come on. That's an old one. 96 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,147 I took that out of rotation years ago. 97 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:35,383 Look at this one. 98 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:38,085 "The jagoff spilled a bag of protein powder 99 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,487 "all over my Jetta. 100 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,722 "Then when I reached across to get napkins 101 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,424 "out of the glove box, he said, 102 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:46,760 'I'm Gregg. You just failed.'" 103 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,901 Okay. 104 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:58,005 Bottom line: C, D, S, G... 105 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,940 Hey, Barb. 106 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:03,076 I'm vetting the new eye exams for typos. 107 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,244 I've been burned before. 108 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,913 I just did a driving exam 109 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,749 with a friend of a journalist, and I got you a profile 110 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,784 in a very prestigious publication. 111 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,754 - Oh. New York Times? - Mm. 112 00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:14,922 L.A. Times? 113 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,457 - Mm. - Sports Illustrated? 114 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,593 CHUMS. Central Hollywood Unified Magnet Sentinel. 115 00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,028 - A high school paper? - Yeah. 116 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,563 I know it's not the big leagues, 117 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:23,964 but, uh, I used to write for my school paper, and... 118 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,166 Colette, this is perfect. 119 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,801 Teen drivers are our target demo. 120 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,202 Big Sac is gonna be thrilled! 121 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,971 Exactly. And, like, it's really good practice 122 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,606 for when you get the big boys. 123 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,141 - 10 and 2. - Yeah. 124 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:37,811 This beaver's gonna be a centerfold! 125 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,749 I think I work in PR now. 126 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,817 I always wanted to go to Puerto Rico. 127 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,319 Havana, specifically. 128 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,588 Yeah, well, maybe you can do some damage control 129 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,724 to Vic's reputation, because according to Brenda P, 130 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,961 he is "the evolutionary bridge between human and mutant." 131 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:57,164 Oh, you guys uncorked the reviews? Aren't mine great? 132 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,766 "A breath of fresh air." 133 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,434 - Okay, Raul G. - Whatever. 134 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:03,270 It's not like we were trying to get good reviews. 135 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,973 Yeah, we both know you wouldn't do any better if you were. 136 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,441 Uh, that's your long COVID talking. 137 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,843 Bet I could get a good review before you. 138 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,412 - Scoff. - Aw. 139 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,681 The scoff of a scared old man. 140 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,683 Want to put a little something on it? 141 00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:16,850 Anything. 142 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,118 Okay, how about this? 143 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,753 Loser gets tattooed. 144 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,155 - Barb as the beaver. - Yes. 145 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:28,529 I can't believe Grumpy Bear over here thinks he can take me down. 146 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,899 What's so amusing, Greggie? 147 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,969 Hi. I'm Happy Gregg. 148 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,872 I was blessed with serving 25 years 149 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,141 of parent-teacher conferences. 150 00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:42,543 Oh, no, no. 151 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,478 - That's creepy. - Mr. D'Angelo, 152 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,213 have you ever witnessed the first steps 153 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:49,116 of a newborn colt as he tries to find his legs 154 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,719 in the slippery hay of his mother's stall? 155 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,086 - Stop it! - That's what it's like 156 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,888 teaching your son. 157 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,223 Only better. 158 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:57,558 I hate Happy Gregg. 159 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:01,094 Every day is a miracle. 160 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,130 That's enough. Please stop. 161 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,298 Wave your hand in front of your face. Get sad again. I'm scared. 162 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,700 Colette's learning to express 163 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,669 her independence in class this year. 164 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,472 - No, I'm not. - I'm really proud of you. 165 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,646 Oh, yes. 166 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,380 Bringing out the good biscuits. 167 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,049 So, who's coming over... the queen? 168 00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,051 Uh, actually, a student journalist 169 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,819 is coming to do a profile on Barb. 170 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,756 You're saying a teenager is going to ask Barb questions 171 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,858 and then print out the actual things Barb says 172 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,192 for other people to read? 173 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,728 I know Barb might not be the most polished, 174 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,029 but I think she can handle 175 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,298 an innocent high school reporter, Noa. 176 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,501 Look, I know you want Barb to get recognition, 177 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,770 but aren't you worried it'll be for the wrong thing 178 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:45,005 at precisely the wrong time for the branch? 179 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,339 Okay, buzzkill. 180 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,676 Like, Barb might goof around, 181 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,912 but I think, at her core, she's extremely professional. 182 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,481 - Okay? - Good news! 183 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,616 My mom found my mascot costume in the attic. 184 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,384 She's gonna overnight my beaver. 185 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,186 And I was thinking, 186 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,088 the interview is a great time 187 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:05,459 for me to introduce my new idea of a teen-mentoring program. 188 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:06,927 That is great, Barb. 189 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,062 I'm gonna call it "Touching Teens." 190 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,664 Oh, God. 191 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:11,832 I know. I know. 192 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,967 And can I tell you a secret? 193 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,637 I really hope they touch me, too. 194 00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:24,678 Okay. Remember what we practiced. 195 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:25,946 Be like dry toast. 196 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,147 Exactly. Give 'em nothing to chew on. 197 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,616 Stick to the facts. 198 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,684 Do you want to do another, like, practice question? 199 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:34,154 Yeah. Uh, what's your favorite part of being a manager? 200 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,823 Having my own private bathroom. 201 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,591 Haven't had to buy toilet paper in, like, six months. 202 00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,659 - Facts. - Don't tell the reporter 203 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,294 that you steal toilet paper. 204 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,763 I don't steal it. 205 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,431 I've simply trained my insides to go only at work. 206 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,600 And I-I can't stress this enough, Barb... 207 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,837 when you answer the reporter's questions, don't. 208 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,338 What are you so worried about? 209 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,740 Do you not have faith in Barb? 210 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,274 Uh, no. I... What? I do. 211 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:55,976 It's just I-I don't want you to give her anything 212 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,377 that she can, like, manipulate. 213 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,279 - Yeah. - I gotcha. 214 00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,181 No loose lips. 215 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,317 Here she comes. 216 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:05,586 It's-it's go time. 217 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,154 Thanks, Mom. 218 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,689 Larry. 219 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,858 Get a load of that bloodhound. 220 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,926 Hey. Welcome to the DMV. 221 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,194 I'm Colette Tyler. 222 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,629 I'm a veteran of student journalism. 223 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,330 And this is our manager. 224 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,832 Barb Berry. I do not touch teens. 225 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:20,934 Okay. 226 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,803 Were those your parents? 227 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,772 My mom. And Larry. 228 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,439 He wants to sell the house I was born in. 229 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,441 I was born in a McDonald's PlayPlace ball pit. 230 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,843 They couldn't find me for two hours. 231 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,511 Less. 232 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,046 One hour. 233 00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:39,219 My wife and I went to a farmers market the other day, 234 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,822 and I saw a strawberry 235 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,890 that was so beautiful... 236 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,526 it made me cry. 237 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,899 God, you are so funny. 238 00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,001 Yes, I want to hear your demo. 239 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,302 - Really? - Yes. 240 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,070 Ooh, that's a deduction. 241 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,641 I'm just kidding. 242 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,409 I drew a smiley face. 243 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,089 Well, my advice is 244 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,591 marry your best friend, 245 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:18,626 settle down, 246 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,493 and dedicate yourself to love. 247 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,296 Have a blessed day. 248 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,531 Thank you so much. 249 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:25,933 Don't forget that review. 250 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,170 Bye. 251 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,539 Oh, God. 252 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,608 Being pleasant is exhausting. 253 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:35,743 I wouldn't know. 254 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,711 - I'd never stoop that low. - Yeah? 255 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,613 - You ready to get that new tattoo? - Oh, 256 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,114 I'm not shaving my ass just yet. 257 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,582 Nobody said it had to go there. 258 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:44,017 It's fine. There's still some space. 259 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,753 - Hmm. - Besides, 260 00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,587 - I'm gonna win. - You? 261 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:51,391 You think you're gonna get a better review than Happy Gregg? 262 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:52,693 Yep. 263 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,795 'Cause the nicest guy in the whole office 264 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:58,131 needed a retest, and guess who scooped him up. 265 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,367 Noa. Ready to go, pumpkin? 266 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,170 Carve my face up, 267 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,138 'cause this pumpkin is ready. 268 00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,509 Turns out he wasn't hairless. He was just shaved. 269 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,477 Hey, hey. 270 00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,279 I forgot you were in there. 271 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,115 - Teresa, it was an honor. Bring it in. - Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. 272 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:18,819 Barb is so busy being a super high-functioning manager. Yeah. 273 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,053 She probably shouldn't talk anymore. 274 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,022 Thanks, Barbie. 275 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,057 Anyway, how was... 276 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,993 Great. If you like wasting time. 277 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,294 There's no story here. 278 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:28,495 They taught us about this in class. 279 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:29,797 It's called a "nothingburger." 280 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:31,298 Luckily, our tip line just lit up 281 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,733 with a juicer... some adult shorts were left 282 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:33,967 under the bleachers. 283 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,635 No. No, you have to do the story. 284 00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,638 It's important to the branch, and Barb's so excited. 285 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,473 Well, I was excited to blossom into womanhood 286 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,309 with my mother's undivided attention, 287 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,411 but, instead, I got Larry. 288 00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:45,412 Where's out? 289 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:46,479 Hey, look, look, 290 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:47,915 journo to journo, 291 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,684 I may have prepped Barb a little too hard. 292 00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,953 The thing is, she can be a little unpredictable, 293 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,088 and so I was afraid she was gonna come off 294 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,256 - like a... - Buffoon? 295 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,590 Moron? Simpleton? 296 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,625 Yes. Thank you. 297 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,928 You're like a catty thesaurus. 298 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,697 She's working really hard to keep this place open, 299 00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:04,998 and you should care. 300 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,099 We give teens like you independence 301 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,601 every time we issue a license. 302 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,037 Mm, uh-oh. 303 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,572 Did I just find the angle for your story? 304 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,541 Maybe there's something here. 305 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:15,776 Yeah. This just in: 306 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,178 she's still got it. 307 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,212 Okay. 308 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,447 I'm gonna write something up. 309 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,115 It'll be online in an hour. 310 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,017 Wow. That is fast. 311 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,119 'Cause back in my day, it to... 312 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,454 Yeah. 313 00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,521 Headphones are on. What you got in there? 314 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:29,957 K-pop? 315 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,726 Can't hear me. Bye. 316 00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,694 Hi. Lucas, Gregg Mosley here. 317 00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:37,865 Just a little gentle reminder to fill out that customer review. 318 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,032 Okay. 319 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,768 Thank you in advance. 320 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,069 Stay prayed up. 321 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,271 Aw. Must be hard to get a great review 322 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:47,307 when you don't have a personal relationship with the examinee. 323 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,375 Luckily, 324 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,377 I don't have that problem with Noa. 325 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,478 Lucas will come through. 326 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,813 I know it. 327 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,347 'Cause I poured my fake heart out to that guy. 328 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:55,749 Oh. 329 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,818 Speak of the angel. 330 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,586 Uh, Noa's review... 331 00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:00,653 What the hell is this crap? 332 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,055 Let me see that. 333 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,090 Ooh. 334 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,657 "Vic was my instructor. 335 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,725 He passed me." 336 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,260 Wow. 337 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:11,164 I guess there is something meaner than a bad review. 338 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,399 Indifference. 339 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,201 Whew. 340 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:15,302 Ooh! 341 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,204 And for the win... 342 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,738 Mm. 343 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,008 Hello, Lucas. 344 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,275 What? 345 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:23,944 W-W... I wouldn't call it harassment. 346 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,413 - Oh, hmm. - I just called five or six times... 347 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:27,948 Okay, well, you know what? 348 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:31,952 My marriage is a loveless hellscape. 349 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,354 Five stars? 350 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:37,790 May Happy Gregg rest in peace. 351 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,460 Is it out? 352 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,796 Not yet. But they are really trying to sell me 353 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,197 on this full-body deodorant, 354 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,066 and they're doing a darn good job. 355 00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:47,767 You know, 10 and 2 may just want to buy the rights 356 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:48,969 and reprint the article. 357 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,403 I told Sally it's coming. 358 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,272 Maybe she'll kick it up to the bigwigs 359 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,507 and we can become number one Ho. 360 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,176 Yes, I hope so. 361 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,846 Hey, Colette. Thanks. 362 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,048 Uh, this article means a lot to me. 363 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,750 Hey, you deserve your moment in the spotlight. 364 00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:06,653 - You work... - Yukon potatoes, it's out! 365 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,590 What? What does it say? 366 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,592 "DMV Run by Buffoon"? 367 00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,894 What? 368 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,395 Who could've said that? 369 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,631 "Says Overconfident Driving Examiner Colette Tyler." 370 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:19,833 Wow, Colette. 371 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:21,234 - No. - Get a grip. 372 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,236 Barb, I didn't. 373 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,905 I didn't say that. 374 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,082 Hey, Barb. 375 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,349 I made nachos. 376 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,484 But we're out of Ritz Crackers, 377 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:38,685 so I had to use tortilla chips. 378 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,220 That's exactly how this day 379 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,889 - is going. - That reporter 380 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,991 completely manipulated my words. 381 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,758 I did not say the things in that article. 382 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:49,096 Oh, you want me to believe the Internet's lying? 383 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,530 I was born in a ball pit, 384 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:51,798 not yesterday, Colette. 385 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,466 She wasn't gonna write the story. 386 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,735 She-she thought that you were boring. 387 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,205 Because you turned me into a human crouton. 388 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,908 I was so in my head, I was scared to say anything at all. 389 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:03,610 Honestly, Barb, I was trying to protect you. 390 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,479 I-I adore you, but you can be a bit of a loose cannon. 391 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,015 A loose cannon is good. 392 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,483 Y-You don't want to be a stiff cannon on a battlefield. 393 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,319 You want to be able to swivel on a dime 394 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,188 and blast a massive lead ball in your enemy's chest. 395 00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,224 Which is exactly what you did to me. 396 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,329 Um, are you having a heart attack? 397 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,164 No. 398 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:27,067 I'm miming a Revolutionary battlefield 399 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,736 where I'm taking a ball straight to the chest. 400 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,306 See? This right here would've been gold for the interview. 401 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,709 What the hell is this, man? 402 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,078 This is what you wrote? 403 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,147 There's nothing kinder than the truth. 404 00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,514 What does that have to do with anything? 405 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,050 - Five stars, man. - Wait, wait, wait, 406 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,352 is he trying to bully you into changing your review? 407 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:46,519 That's cheating. 408 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,455 I'm not bullying. 409 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,490 Now, you listen to me, Kangaroo Jack. 410 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,092 You either change that review 411 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,460 or, so help me God... 412 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,164 I apologize for the hapkido, 413 00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:58,731 but I won't write a dishonest review, mate. 414 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,267 - Tap out. - Okay. 415 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,701 I'm tapping. 416 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,903 You just made a huge mistake, 417 00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,338 my friend, 'cause I haven't 418 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,607 filed the results for your driver's exam yet. 419 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,242 And, guess what... you failed. 420 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,510 - No! - Again. 421 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,844 Come on, man. 422 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:12,946 Unless... 423 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,514 Hey, that's extortion. 424 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,616 English, please, Gregg. 425 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,917 What do you say, Noa? 426 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,619 I'm not changing the review. 427 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,021 Fine. 428 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,456 Didn't hurt anyways. I was faking. 429 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,425 Sorry. 430 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,793 I'm going for the form. 431 00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:27,794 Yeah, dude. 432 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:28,962 I was just... 433 00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,464 - Mosquito. - Okay. 434 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,566 It's my mosquito hapkido. 435 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,643 Thanks for meeting me. 436 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,378 Make it quick. I'm missing mock trial right now. 437 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,981 I'm just the alternate juror, but it's important. 438 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,582 Why'd you write that hit piece? 439 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,451 Relax. No one cares about the stupid DMV. 440 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:52,452 I do. 441 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,453 And Barb does. 442 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:54,654 And despite what you wrote, 443 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:55,922 she's not a buffoon. 444 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,224 She's a really good egg. 445 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,758 Maybe even... 446 00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,260 - the goodest egg. - Oh, 447 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,794 I can't believe your writing career went nowhere. 448 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:04,797 She is passionate, loyal, energetic. 449 00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:05,965 She has vision. 450 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,467 You should see her on an eye exam. 451 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,536 Oh, my God, she's like a unicorn in a vest. 452 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:10,670 So cringe. 453 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,573 If Barb is cringe, then so am I. 454 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:14,507 Yeah, I know. 455 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,608 You're both cringe. 456 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:16,776 Just print a retraction. 457 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,311 Nothing's been printed. 458 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,412 It's all online. 459 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,014 I'm not wasting any more time 460 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,583 with a middle-aged driving examiner. 461 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,157 Here's what's gonna happen, Teresa. 462 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,359 Either you fix the article 463 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,828 or every one of your little friends who comes in for a test 464 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,197 is going to fail. 465 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,699 And I'm gonna tell them it's because of you. 466 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,335 And then the whole school will hate you, 467 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,037 you'll lose your followers, 468 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,439 you'll get kicked out of your extracurriculars, 469 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:49,209 and then you'll be begging that loser Larry 470 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:51,478 to come and hang out with you. 471 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,546 Is that cringe enough for you? 472 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,784 Thanks so much for meeting me. 473 00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,552 I love your hair. Bye. 474 00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,254 Oh. Let me get you out. 475 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:03,923 See ya. 476 00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:04,991 Miss you. 477 00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:06,226 Wow. 478 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:09,561 How's that for overconfident? 479 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:13,566 "Unhinged DMV Worker Threatens Child"? 480 00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:16,536 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. 481 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,037 This is so bad. 482 00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,172 Well, 483 00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:21,374 not one single positive review. 484 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,876 I know. I wasted the whole day being happy. 485 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,579 I mean, how hard is it to say something nice? 486 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,681 - Mm-hmm. - "Gregg is a bit standoffish, 487 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,117 but, deep down, he means well." 488 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,819 Yeah, I know. Would it kill someone to write 489 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,021 "Vic seems like a tough guy, but on the inside, 490 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,857 "he's a sweetheart and not annoying all the time 491 00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:41,328 and definitely not as stupid as he looks." 492 00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:43,130 Yes. Thank you. 493 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,932 Like, a little bit of kindness goes a long... 494 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,568 I mean, why did we ever start caring about these dumb reviews? 495 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,537 They're just a meaningless snapshot 496 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,405 of people's anger and frustration. 497 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:55,041 Yes. And, you know what, words hurt. 498 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,477 Some people, I-I mean. 499 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,513 Well, let's just agree we don't like reviews 500 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,949 and we won't pay attention to 'em at all. 501 00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,684 Yes. Agreed. 502 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,086 I swear, this is the worst kebab I've ever eaten. 503 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,087 And it's not cheap. 504 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,589 Yeah. Mine's rare. 505 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:10,590 And it's chicken. 506 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:11,691 And the rice? 507 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,759 It's like a clump. 508 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,661 You know what? 509 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,629 - Mm. - "Do not eat 510 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,598 "at O'Grady's Mediterranean Grill. 511 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:22,269 More like O'Grady's Mediterranean Diarrhea." 512 00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,603 And post. 513 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,205 - Mm. - That'll show 'em. 514 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:27,840 Yes. Mmm. 515 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,143 Mm-hmm. 516 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:33,246 You threatened a child? 517 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,282 Um... 518 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:37,083 I'm trying to spin this. 519 00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:39,919 Uh, but, yeah, no, I did. I did. 520 00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,120 Are you mad? 521 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:42,455 I was. 522 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,457 Until I got to this part. 523 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,960 "Foam frothed from her rancid mouth 524 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,862 "as she insisted her boss is loyal, 525 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,565 passionate, and has the vision of a unicorn." 526 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,000 Did you really say all that? 527 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,569 I mean, I by no means frothed. 528 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,937 But I... 529 00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:00,607 Ish. I said you were a unicorn in a vest. 530 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:04,844 I just wanted her to capture how you show up here every day 531 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,846 with that big beaver energy 532 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,948 to a place that she called... 533 00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,350 "a nightmare factory." 534 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,751 Hey, 535 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,186 it means a lot hearing all that nice stuff. 536 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,788 It's better than any media attention. 537 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,658 What about the publicity for the branch, though? 538 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,893 Eh, it was for the best. There was only, like, ten page views, 539 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,795 and half of 'em were mine. 540 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,597 Thank God. Not my best photo. 541 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:25,832 Look at that. 542 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,534 But now, when the real press comes, 543 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,536 you'll know just to be yourself. 544 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,371 Maybe we can approach it from a different angle. 545 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:34,140 - Love that. - Deep down, I believe in Touching Teens. 546 00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:35,375 No. After today, 547 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:36,709 I'm not allowed near high schoolers. 548 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:37,777 And if you keep saying that phrase, 549 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:38,811 you won't be either. 550 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,179 Sorry, Barb. 551 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,981 Hey. Greggles. You have experience 552 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,650 teaching kids. Would you be interested 553 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,051 - in helping me with this... - No. 554 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,454 Perhaps we could ask Happy Gregg? 555 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,888 Sure. 556 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:50,490 Nice. 557 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:51,891 No. 558 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,227 Huh. 559 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,134 Ooh. ♪ So tender. ♪ 560 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,804 Can't believe you got the tattoo. 561 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:08,007 Well, the bet was whoever lost gets tattooed. 562 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,376 We both lost. 563 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,278 Now it's time for you to get one. 564 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,479 Okay. 565 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,247 I'm making the appointment right now. 566 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:21,421 Ladies and gentlemen! 567 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,156 I give you the D-M... 568 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,658 Beaver...! 569 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,927 All right! 570 00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:29,996 Yeah, come on! 571 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,230 All right! 572 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,867 Yeah! Yeah. 573 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,405 Lady Gaga! Uh-oh! 574 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:39,739 My head! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 575 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,941 Don't look at me! Don't... Look away! 576 00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,511 Seriously! The mascot code! 577 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:48,047 Don't worry. I got it, Barb. 578 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,350 I mean "Beaver." Beaver. 579 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:55,021 You think we'll ever have a normal day around here? 580 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,524 - I think this is our normal. - Mm.