1 00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,625 -(microphone feedback) -(Elijah clearing throat) 2 00:00:38,708 --> 00:00:40,250 (clearing throat forcefully) 3 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,750 (Elijah) Ah, apologies. 4 00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:45,875 Sorry, the thing is, uh, public speaking 5 00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,666 -has never been my, uh... -(microphone feedback) 6 00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,208 (wheezing laugh) 7 00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:51,666 ...my-- I can't even think of the word. 8 00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:53,708 (inhales sharply) I, uh... 9 00:00:53,791 --> 00:00:56,708 I would pretty much do anything to avoid public speaking. 10 00:00:56,791 --> 00:01:00,250 Like, even die. I would die... 11 00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:01,750 rather than public speak. 12 00:01:01,833 --> 00:01:05,666 Like, if a meteor came and landed on us right now, I'd be relieved. 13 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:08,708 (laughs) I'd be, like, "Come to papa." 14 00:01:08,791 --> 00:01:10,958 Elijah, relax. 15 00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:12,166 It's only a practice pitch. 16 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,750 -We're all on the same team, right? -(microphone feedback) 17 00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:14,958 No pressure. 18 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,666 I mean, other than the Regal Blue Condom Company's future 19 00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:19,833 and all of us who work here. 20 00:01:19,916 --> 00:01:22,083 This pitch fails, we all go tits up. 21 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:24,708 -And we don't want that to happen. -(Elijah) Right. 22 00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,541 As you all know, I'm a bit of a germaphobe. 23 00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:30,625 Raw dog? 24 00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:33,458 "Nah." I say, "Nah, dog." 25 00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:38,666 And, um, and so there was this one time that I was making love 26 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,208 to a woman from-- oh, it doesn't matter where-- 27 00:01:41,291 --> 00:01:45,041 but, uh, we were getting it on and I-- 28 00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:48,833 my testicles were becoming adjacent to things 29 00:01:48,916 --> 00:01:50,916 I didn't want them to become adjacent to-- 30 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,958 What is happening here? What are we-- (chuckles) 31 00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:55,625 I don't know, but I can't look away. 32 00:01:55,708 --> 00:01:57,875 May I, uh, suggest a change of clothes? 33 00:01:57,958 --> 00:01:59,250 Maybe a-a wet suit? 34 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,833 (Burgess) Let Elijah finish, please. 35 00:02:01,916 --> 00:02:05,791 I relate to what you're saying because I, myself, have often felt a man's balls 36 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:09,625 lightly tapping me from behind like pieces of warm dog shit 37 00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:11,208 dangling in a plastic poo-bag. 38 00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:13,541 It's unnerving and disgusting. 39 00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:16,041 That is unnerving. 40 00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:17,916 Sorry, is Steve from HR here? 41 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,625 I didn't invite him. Ugh, the fun police. 42 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,458 Uh, actually, I'm here. 43 00:02:24,541 --> 00:02:26,333 Oh, fuck. 44 00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:29,791 Anyways, as you all know, um... 45 00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:35,000 m-more prophylactics are sold during the World Cup 46 00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:37,416 than any event on planet Earth. 47 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:40,375 Even more than the Valentine's Days. 48 00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:42,541 Even more than the Olympics. 49 00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,791 Raoul, that's your cue, "More than the Olympics." 50 00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:46,500 Oh, sorry. Yeah. 51 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,250 -Uh... Yeah. -No. Yeah. 52 00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:49,583 -(vibrating) -(Raoul) Oh, sh-- 53 00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:51,541 Oh, my God. Please get that away from me. 54 00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:52,583 It's alive! 55 00:02:52,666 --> 00:02:54,541 (Elijah) Okay, there's, 56 00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:55,958 -uh... -(Monique) T-Turn it off. 57 00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:57,166 (Elijah) Okay. 58 00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:58,791 I don't-- There's a button somewhere. 59 00:02:58,875 --> 00:02:59,875 (clicks, vibrating stops) 60 00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:03,166 Uh, may I, uh, be excused? 61 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,041 -Not now, Jeremy. -No, it's just I have a... 62 00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:07,541 I got a hard out at 11:30, so... 63 00:03:07,625 --> 00:03:08,916 Eleven-thirty? 64 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,333 -Yeah. -What can't move? 65 00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:12,958 Dialysis. 66 00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:15,333 -Oh, shit. -(Jeremy) Yeah. 67 00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:17,791 I'm sorry. Yeah. No, no problem. 68 00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:21,041 Everybody do what they got to do. 69 00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:24,750 -(Elijah) Anyways, um, drumroll, please. -(quiet chatter) 70 00:03:24,833 --> 00:03:27,208 (tapping drumroll) 71 00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:30,750 In order to win the World Cup account, 72 00:03:30,833 --> 00:03:34,458 I have devised and designed 73 00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:38,958 a condom that covers both the penis 74 00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:41,708 and the testicles. 75 00:03:42,791 --> 00:03:44,416 I call it... 76 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,541 (squeaking) 77 00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:51,875 Any time on that meteor, God. 78 00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:53,625 (vibrating) 79 00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:56,625 (♪ Trio Mocotó sing "Não Adianta") 80 00:03:57,208 --> 00:03:59,250 The Testicle Sentinel. 81 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,208 -(clicks, vibrating stops) -Oh. 82 00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:06,416 Yeah, it kind of sells itself, am I right? 83 00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:09,208 (song continues with lyrics in Portuguese) 84 00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:38,875 ♪ ♪ 85 00:05:02,208 --> 00:05:04,208 (song fades) 86 00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:07,041 For what it's worth, you designed the shit out of that condom. 87 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,666 It's one of the most amazing products I'll ever have the pleasure to pitch. 88 00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:11,333 (Elijah) Yeah. 89 00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:14,041 Hey, Brad, uh... 90 00:05:14,125 --> 00:05:16,041 don't patronize me. 91 00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:21,207 We both know that that was supposed to be a, uh, practice run. 92 00:05:21,291 --> 00:05:23,416 Just a test. I was working out the kinks. 93 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,916 Oh, it had some kink. (chuckles softly) 94 00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:32,957 What? It's a courtesy buffet. 95 00:05:35,832 --> 00:05:37,832 (humming "We Built This City") 96 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,332 Are you humming "We Built This City"? 97 00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:43,416 Yep. 98 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,000 I do it because I'm not good at swallowing pills, so it's like... 99 00:05:47,916 --> 00:05:51,332 When my throat's closing up, I just sing a little ditty and... 100 00:05:51,416 --> 00:05:54,125 it goes down, distracted. 101 00:05:54,207 --> 00:05:56,250 (gulps) Ah, that... 102 00:05:56,332 --> 00:05:57,707 Ooh. 103 00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,125 You do understand that this is my product? 104 00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:02,000 It's mine. It came from my brain. 105 00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,458 I should be the one showcasing it. 106 00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:05,500 Uh... not sure if I like that. 107 00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:07,333 There's no "me" in "team." 108 00:06:07,416 --> 00:06:10,791 It's, like, half the word. 109 00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:12,208 Facts are facts. 110 00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:14,000 There is no better designer than you, Elijah, 111 00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,791 but there's no better salesman than Brad. 112 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,375 So you see, put that together, you're the perfect partners. 113 00:06:18,457 --> 00:06:20,625 The steak... and the sizzle. 114 00:06:20,707 --> 00:06:22,500 Yeah, no, that's how I see Brad. 115 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,082 He's all sizzle, no steak. 116 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,832 Opposites bring out the best in each other. 117 00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:27,291 Think... 118 00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:29,582 Ben and Jerry or chocolate and peanut butter. 119 00:06:29,666 --> 00:06:31,291 -Michael and Fredo. -(Burgess) There you go. 120 00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:33,291 Okay, but which one am I? 121 00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,332 (laughs) Oh, that's such a Fredo question. 122 00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:39,541 Good morning, Senhor Santos, 123 00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,541 and the rest of the esteemed Brazilian Travel Ministry. 124 00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:45,291 (in Portuguese) My name is Brad. Brad Lewison. 125 00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:48,082 (in English) But you, call me Brad from Sales. 126 00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,832 I understand you guys just heard from Champ Condoms? 127 00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:52,291 Ooh-ee. 128 00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:54,166 Tough act to follow. 129 00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:57,707 But where Regal Blue can't match Champ in size and scale, 130 00:06:57,791 --> 00:07:02,000 they cannot match us in paixão. 131 00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:03,375 (Brad laughing) 132 00:07:03,458 --> 00:07:06,000 (in Portuguese) I can only imagine, as a man of Brazil, 133 00:07:06,083 --> 00:07:08,000 you know all about passion. 134 00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:09,708 -(chuckling) -(in English) But sometimes 135 00:07:09,791 --> 00:07:13,000 paixão can have unintended consequences. 136 00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:16,541 We here at Regal Blue are all about protecting 137 00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:18,375 our most prized possession. 138 00:07:18,457 --> 00:07:20,125 A pênis... 139 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:23,582 is a terrible thing to expose to unwanted risk. 140 00:07:23,666 --> 00:07:26,082 So, too, the vagina. 141 00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:30,875 But they aren't the only valuables exposed in a vigorous session of lovemaking. 142 00:07:30,957 --> 00:07:35,207 I'm talking about the unwanted guests at any passion party. 143 00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:37,582 Os testículos. 144 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,207 Os testículos have long been transmitters 145 00:07:40,291 --> 00:07:43,082 and/or receivers of unwelcome contaminants. 146 00:07:43,166 --> 00:07:44,957 They are little round super-spreaders. 147 00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,957 -Until now. -(in Portuguese) He's not wrong. 148 00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:49,041 (in English) Introducing a condom that covers 149 00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:52,750 not only the shaft and the head of the pênis 150 00:07:52,832 --> 00:07:57,000 but also, thanks to our patented latex satchel technology, 151 00:07:57,082 --> 00:07:59,582 os testículos themselves. 152 00:07:59,666 --> 00:08:02,083 And the precious genetic seed inside. 153 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,333 (laughter) 154 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,916 Why hasn't anyone thought of this before? 155 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,083 (Brad) Why indeed, Senhor Santos? 156 00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:13,416 Why not allow Regal Blue to cup you and yours at the next World Cup? 157 00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,500 (applause and laughter) 158 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,332 (Santos) Impressive. 159 00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:22,666 Very impressive. 160 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,875 Truly. 161 00:08:23,957 --> 00:08:25,832 I have only one question. 162 00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:28,332 This condom, what do you call it? 163 00:08:28,416 --> 00:08:30,541 -Great-- -The Testicle Sentinel. 164 00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:34,040 (low groaning, grumbling) 165 00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:36,625 (low chatter) 166 00:08:36,707 --> 00:08:38,665 -Mm. -(Santos) I don't know. 167 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,790 Sounds a little, mm... 168 00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,790 -clinical, eh? -(murmured agreements) 169 00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:45,540 Not too... not too sexy. 170 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,625 Which is why that working title was replaced with... 171 00:08:50,125 --> 00:08:52,083 ...the Balls Up! 172 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,500 -(Santos laughs) -(excited murmuring) 173 00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:54,833 (in Portuguese) Now we're talking. 174 00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:58,583 (in English) Little bolas de futebol right there on the condom. 175 00:08:58,665 --> 00:09:01,208 I love it. I love it so much. 176 00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:04,541 Bom. 177 00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:09,541 The official condom of Brasil 2025 is... 178 00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,208 -...the Balls Up! -(cheering) 179 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,708 -(laughing, exclaiming) -♪ I wish that I could ♪ 180 00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:16,083 ♪ change the weather ♪ 181 00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:17,791 (♪ Empire of the Sun sings "Music on the Radio") 182 00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:21,458 ♪ Enjoy the sound of silence in my car ♪ 183 00:09:21,541 --> 00:09:25,416 ♪ You-you-you-you can blame it on N-E-R-D ♪ 184 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:29,708 ♪ You-you-you-you can blame it on a tangerine dream ♪ 185 00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:34,000 ♪ You-you-you-you can blame it on a spaceman, blame it on snacky... 186 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,875 This is gonna be an amazing partnership, Senhor Santos. 187 00:09:36,958 --> 00:09:39,040 Please, call me Artur. 188 00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,500 You got it, Artie. 189 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:43,083 Gentlemen, champagne. 190 00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,875 "Champagna." 191 00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:46,458 -How about a little toast? -(Santos) No, no. 192 00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:47,790 Not for me. 193 00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:50,000 So sorry, but... 194 00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,875 nine years in March. 195 00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,290 You pussy. 196 00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,665 (laughing) I'm kidding. 197 00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,583 Hey, you got some catching up to do. 198 00:09:56,665 --> 00:09:57,958 -(Elijah) Hey. -(snaps fingers) 199 00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,208 What do you got there? 200 00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:01,291 Oh, this is an Abigail Breslin. 201 00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:03,875 It's like a Shirley Temple but double the grenadine. 202 00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:05,416 How about have a real fucking cocktail, huh? 203 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,625 We're cooking now. 204 00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:08,333 Okay, I thought we were done cooking. 205 00:10:08,416 --> 00:10:10,541 -Oh, no, I'm just getting cooking now. -Oh. 206 00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:11,708 Yeah. 207 00:10:11,791 --> 00:10:13,916 -Please don't muck it up. -Muck it up? 208 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,416 Were you not there this morning? 209 00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,125 I was playing hero ball. 210 00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:19,875 (laughs) You two are so good together. 211 00:10:19,958 --> 00:10:21,750 You don't see it, but I do. 212 00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:24,250 -Hey, Artie, one toast. -(Santos) No, no, please. 213 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,125 -Please, no, no. -(Brad) You know what? 214 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,916 -(Santos) No. -As a tradition... 215 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,916 Look, I don't even want you to drink. 216 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,833 -Just a sniff. -(sighs heavily) 217 00:10:31,916 --> 00:10:33,375 To solidify the partnership. 218 00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,625 (Santos) Right, sure. 219 00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:39,333 Just a sniff. 220 00:10:39,415 --> 00:10:41,165 -(glasses clinking) -To you, Artie. 221 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,875 (hushed) Have a drink. 222 00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:46,375 (sniffs deeply) 223 00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:47,915 (moans) Oh. 224 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,208 (slurping) 225 00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:50,750 Oh, that's a... 226 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,583 That-that's-that's not a sniff. 227 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:58,000 (laughing) 228 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000 (inhales) 229 00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:02,666 (in Portuguese) Fuck it. 230 00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:05,291 -(lively crowd chatter) -Opa! 231 00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:07,916 -(♪ Zella Day sings "Golden") -(laughing) 232 00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:10,083 Wow. 233 00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:12,458 (exhales) 234 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,125 (slurring in English) So, gentlemen. 235 00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,166 What do you know about futebol? 236 00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:20,083 Uh, uh, enough to realize it's-it's awesome. 237 00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:22,916 The-the chants, the-the sliding on your knees when you score. 238 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,083 And that guy, he yells "goal" forever. 239 00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:27,166 And at the end, orange slices. 240 00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:28,416 It's a good game. 241 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,500 A game? A game? 242 00:11:30,583 --> 00:11:32,000 No. 243 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,208 Futebol is science: 244 00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:37,540 mathematics, physics, chemistry. 245 00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,833 But also the humanities: 246 00:11:39,915 --> 00:11:42,415 art, music, poetry. 247 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:45,958 It is also love, family... 248 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,000 -community. -(Elijah sighs) 249 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,333 -It's a lot of things. -I mean, what isn't it, really? 250 00:11:50,415 --> 00:11:52,125 And so perfectly simple. 251 00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:55,790 Twenty-two men, one ball 252 00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:57,458 and no hands. 253 00:11:58,540 --> 00:12:00,000 Oh. 254 00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:02,083 -(slurping) -Oh. 255 00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:03,541 -(spits) -(glass clatters and breaks) 256 00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:06,458 -Goal...! -(laughing) 257 00:12:06,541 --> 00:12:08,041 And this guy. 258 00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:09,750 This guy. 259 00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,333 (Elijah) We call him the enabler. 260 00:12:11,416 --> 00:12:12,875 You know what? 261 00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:16,125 I'm going to make sure you're there at the World Cup final. 262 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:17,500 -What? -(Santos) Both of you. 263 00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:20,083 The team behind Balls Up. 264 00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:21,708 First-class travel. 265 00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:23,166 VIP seats. 266 00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:24,416 Wow. 267 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,041 -You've earned it. -(phone beeps) 268 00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:28,000 Thank you, Senhor Santos. 269 00:12:28,083 --> 00:12:29,791 (Brad) Hey, Artie. Let me ask you a question. 270 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,708 How well do you know el presidente? 271 00:12:31,791 --> 00:12:33,290 -Lula? -Yeah. 272 00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:37,208 We've been friends for 40 years. 273 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,875 You know, I was... I was thinking maybe we could pitch him the Balls Up, too. 274 00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:43,083 Be the official condom of Brazil itself. What do you think? 275 00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:46,000 -Great idea. -Huh? 276 00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:47,708 Great idea. 277 00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:49,790 Huh? And to celebrate... 278 00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:52,375 another round or three. 279 00:12:52,458 --> 00:12:54,500 -(Elijah) Oh. -(laughing) 280 00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,083 Maybe a round of waters. 281 00:12:56,165 --> 00:12:57,415 Stay hydrated. 282 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:58,958 (hushed) You're gonna muck this up. 283 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,541 It's a little hiccup. I'm gonna reel him back in. 284 00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:02,541 -No, you're not. -Yeah, I got it. 285 00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:09,041 You know what I haven't done in a muito long time? 286 00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:10,958 -Skee-Ball? -Crack. 287 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,375 (hushed) Crack? 288 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,208 I still know a guy. 289 00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:17,208 (laughing) 290 00:13:17,291 --> 00:13:19,791 (♪ Party Favor sings "FEELSx1000") 291 00:13:21,791 --> 00:13:23,083 (blowing) 292 00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:25,583 (blows) 293 00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:27,833 (blows) 294 00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:29,291 (inhales sharply, coughs) 295 00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:31,791 ♪ I just wanna feel... 296 00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:34,040 The pulse of these speakers makes me hard 297 00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:35,333 like diamonds. 298 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,958 -What? No. -(laughing) 299 00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:40,333 Hey, hey, hey, Senhor Santos. 300 00:13:40,415 --> 00:13:42,000 I think you got to reel it in now. 301 00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:44,083 -Check it. -What? 302 00:13:44,165 --> 00:13:46,208 No, no, no! Senhor Santos! 303 00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:47,540 Handle your shit, okay? 304 00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:48,958 ♪ ♪ 305 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,040 Oh, I'm handling my shit. 306 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,750 Who here wants a hot cup of c-- 307 00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:57,083 Opa! Whoa! 308 00:13:57,165 --> 00:13:58,875 Oh, fuck. 309 00:13:58,958 --> 00:14:01,625 Balls Up! 310 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,875 ♪ ♪ 311 00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:08,458 (Burgess) I hired you two to complement one another. 312 00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:10,458 Shore up each other's weaknesses. 313 00:14:10,541 --> 00:14:12,333 You who plays it too straight. 314 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,000 You who plays it too loose. 315 00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:16,208 Two imperfect employees who might just compensate 316 00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:18,458 for each other's fucking shortcomings! 317 00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:22,125 Um, I just want to make sure that Steve is getting all this. 318 00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:24,416 Steve from HR? No fucking way. Not today. 319 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,041 Today it's just us. 320 00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:28,625 (Steve) Um, already here. 321 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:32,208 (Burgess sighs) Fucking hell. 322 00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:35,208 This is about our client, 323 00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:38,500 who, after a decade sober, slammed 11 shots, 324 00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:41,040 smoked a half ball of black rock, 325 00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:42,708 pulled down his pantalones, 326 00:14:42,790 --> 00:14:45,040 tried to put one of our condoms over his penis... 327 00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,458 And testicles. 328 00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:49,208 ...and jumped off a fucking balcony buck naked. 329 00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:51,790 -(Santos on video) Balls Up! -(loud music playing) 330 00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:53,000 (Brad) Wow. 331 00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:54,333 Seven million views already? 332 00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,125 There's no such thing as bad publicity. 333 00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:58,333 What the fucking fuck?! 334 00:14:58,415 --> 00:15:00,250 And one of those seven million views was the-- 335 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,333 and I'm not fucking with you-- president of Brazil, 336 00:15:03,416 --> 00:15:06,125 who just this morning promptly fired Santos. 337 00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:07,625 Oh, that's too bad. 338 00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,916 -And us. -Us? 339 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,125 Any guesses what the official condom of the host country 340 00:15:12,208 --> 00:15:14,458 of the 2025 World Cup is now? 341 00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:17,291 It's the Champ Ultra-Thin. 342 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,041 (sputtering) What? 343 00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:21,791 Those things don't even come close to covering the balls. 344 00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:25,333 I can promise you this, boss. 345 00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:27,791 -In the future, I-- -The future? 346 00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:29,958 What are you talking about, bro? 347 00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:32,915 Do you understand? This company's ass is grass. 348 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,083 Consider this your exit interview, which I'm now going to conduct 349 00:15:37,165 --> 00:15:39,290 with the seriousness of a massive shit. 350 00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:40,708 Fuck you both. 351 00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:42,915 You're fired, effective immediately. 352 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,250 Me, too? 353 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:45,583 You, too! 354 00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:47,540 (elevator bell dings) 355 00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:50,375 Bosswoman Burgess was right. 356 00:15:50,458 --> 00:15:51,625 You are a true salesman. 357 00:15:51,708 --> 00:15:54,833 That suit you're wearing-- completely empty. 358 00:15:54,915 --> 00:15:59,915 The only thing that Brad from Sales cares about is himself. 359 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,666 What's wrong with self-care? 360 00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,791 Uh, if I'm not good enough for me, I'm not good enough for anyone. 361 00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,416 Who the fuck else should I care about? 362 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,416 -(elevator bell dings) -I'll tell you, you real-- 363 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,708 Oh, perfect. 364 00:16:08,791 --> 00:16:11,833 You could take a note or two from this guy Raoul. 365 00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:13,250 Okay? This selfless soul. 366 00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:15,750 Hey, man, is that my box? 367 00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:18,208 Bosswoman just shitcanned me, too. 368 00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:20,750 You two jackfuckers just sank Regal Blue. 369 00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,208 And my medical coverage. 370 00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:23,500 You'll bounce back. 371 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,458 If I die now, for any reason, 372 00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:27,958 that's on you guys. 373 00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:29,458 (gasps) 374 00:16:29,541 --> 00:16:31,500 (tires squealing in distance) 375 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:35,958 Adios forever... 376 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,375 slapper of backs, killer of dreams. 377 00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:41,583 Hey, FYI, backslapping-- it's an art. 378 00:16:41,665 --> 00:16:44,375 You can't just slap a back and call it backslapping. 379 00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:48,250 Wow. I want to hear your theory on face slapping 380 00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:51,083 'cause-'cause you're about to get slapped in the face by me. 381 00:16:51,665 --> 00:16:53,500 You're gonna slap me? 382 00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:54,708 (Brad laughing) 383 00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:56,415 Ow! 384 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:57,915 (Elijah laughs) 385 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,415 Nope. 386 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,083 (Brad mutters) 387 00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:05,040 (yelps) Okay, okay, okay. 388 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,290 Let's... 389 00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,833 I could drop the box and we could do the whole dance, 390 00:17:08,915 --> 00:17:12,790 but there is not enough Purell in the world. 391 00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,875 (chuckles) Please. You're the sweater. 392 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:17,750 You know, I'm gonna think of a comeback and I'm gonna... 393 00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:18,958 I'm gonna hit you on the way home. 394 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,708 -Yeah, I'll hold my breath. -Expect a text. 395 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,083 Yeah. 396 00:17:22,165 --> 00:17:23,790 (♪ Chicano Batman sings "Freedom Is Free") 397 00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:27,875 ♪ Nobody likes you, nobody cares ♪ 398 00:17:27,958 --> 00:17:31,708 ♪ Nobody wants you, nobody dares ♪ 399 00:17:31,791 --> 00:17:35,333 ♪ to extend a greeting, a connecting glance ♪ 400 00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:38,125 ♪ Life is just a jaded game to them ♪ 401 00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:40,583 -♪ They won't give it a chance ♪ -(knocking on door) 402 00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,250 Hey. 403 00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:47,041 ♪ But you know and I know ♪ 404 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:53,625 ♪ that the galaxies are all around us ♪ 405 00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:56,958 -(sighs) -♪ And life will flow on ♪ 406 00:17:57,041 --> 00:18:01,791 ♪ as long as the grass grows and the water runs ♪ 407 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:07,000 ♪ And while I'm here on Earth ♪ 408 00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:10,541 ♪ I'll rejoice in its worth ♪ 409 00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:13,333 ♪ 'Cause freedom is free ♪ 410 00:18:13,416 --> 00:18:19,291 ♪ There's no amount of negativity can put a dent in me, oh ♪ 411 00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:20,541 ♪ Yeah... 412 00:18:20,625 --> 00:18:22,000 (sighs) 413 00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:24,583 ♪ ♪ 414 00:18:24,666 --> 00:18:26,291 Holy shit. 415 00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:28,166 (beeps) 416 00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,416 (both) Oh, fuck me. 417 00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,500 ♪ ♪ 418 00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:36,750 (intercom chiming) 419 00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:39,416 (song fades) 420 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,208 (sighs) 421 00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:43,125 You, uh... 422 00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:44,750 you good? 423 00:18:47,541 --> 00:18:49,583 Fantastic. 424 00:18:49,666 --> 00:18:51,500 Oh, yeah. Me, too. 425 00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:52,666 (beeps, whirring) 426 00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:54,166 Um... 427 00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,000 Yeah, actually, couldn't be better. 428 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:58,416 You know, crazy, these finals tickets, huh? 429 00:18:58,500 --> 00:18:59,666 (Elijah laughs quietly) 430 00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:02,250 Uh, probably bureaucracy. 431 00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:06,166 Someone told someone in a department to send out the tickets. 432 00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,625 They forgot not to. 433 00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:10,125 -Lucky us. -Yeah, lucky us. 434 00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:13,791 I mean, we were down big, now we're up big, so we're up huge on the swing. 435 00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:16,125 -The swing? -The swing. 436 00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:18,333 The swing is when you go from down to up instead of, like, level to up. 437 00:19:18,416 --> 00:19:20,458 It's double the distance, so they call it the swing. 438 00:19:20,541 --> 00:19:22,291 (♪ Zé Roberto sings "Lotus 72 D") 439 00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:24,541 They don't call it the swing. 440 00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:26,041 You do. 441 00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,125 And it's dumb. 442 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,208 ♪ ♪ 443 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,125 (lively chattering) 444 00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:43,250 (dog barking) 445 00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:45,500 (song continues with lyrics in Portuguese) 446 00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:50,333 -(crowd) Brasil! Brasil! -(clapping rhythmically) 447 00:19:50,416 --> 00:19:52,416 ♪ ♪ 448 00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:58,916 (speaking Spanish) 449 00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:04,875 What a spectacle. 450 00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:08,250 Yes, ladies and gentlemen, wherever you're watching around the world, 451 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:11,916 welcome along to the World Cup final 2025. 452 00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:15,458 (Elijah) However bad you've had it, I've been worse. 453 00:20:15,541 --> 00:20:17,791 Tudo bem? 454 00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:19,166 What? 455 00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:20,333 "How are you?" 456 00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:23,458 -And get this, it also means "I'm fine." -Oh, tudo bem. 457 00:20:23,541 --> 00:20:25,708 -Yeah, so it's: Tudo bem? Tudo bem. -(laughs) 458 00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,083 Just one of the gems from Contrails magazine. 459 00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,791 (Elijah) That's funny. Check this out. 460 00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:32,958 (beeps) 461 00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:36,125 It's a translator app but in the voice of Larry David. 462 00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:39,500 Tudo bem? Tudo bem. 463 00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:42,125 -(beeps) -(Larry David) How are you? I'm fine. 464 00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,500 -(both chuckling) -Isn't that awesome? 465 00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:46,250 (Brad) Time to gas up then. 466 00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:49,000 Time to gas up. What is this? 467 00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:51,166 -(Brad) Oh, they spelled "sales" wrong... -(Elijah) I see that. 468 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,708 ...on the first one, so they had to give me... 469 00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:57,083 a second one for free. 470 00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:58,791 -Nice. -One for you and one for me. 471 00:20:58,875 --> 00:21:00,166 Very cool. 472 00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:02,958 I am going to partake. 473 00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:04,333 Just first want to... 474 00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:07,041 ...safeguard myself. 475 00:21:07,125 --> 00:21:12,791 Over the last 39 days, 48 international teams have been whittled down to just two: 476 00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:16,833 the hometown heroes of Brazil and their neighboring nemesis Argentina. 477 00:21:16,916 --> 00:21:20,833 It's been four long years, but our agonizing wait ends tonight. 478 00:21:20,916 --> 00:21:22,916 (crowd chatter) 479 00:21:24,541 --> 00:21:25,625 Mmm. 480 00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:27,916 What? 481 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,833 So you have a little Brad from Sales in you after all. 482 00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:32,166 -I guess so. -Yeah. 483 00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,083 Bad Elijah. 484 00:21:34,166 --> 00:21:36,791 He only appears every decade or so. 485 00:21:36,875 --> 00:21:38,333 Kind of like a comet. 486 00:21:38,416 --> 00:21:40,125 You think you know someone. 487 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,083 (Elijah) Ultra-Thin? Seriously? 488 00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:47,125 That is an affront to every prophylactic ever. 489 00:21:47,208 --> 00:21:48,500 -(fireworks popping) -(crowd cheering loudly) 490 00:21:48,583 --> 00:21:50,625 (announcer speaking Portuguese over speakers) 491 00:21:50,708 --> 00:21:52,958 (loud cheering continues) 492 00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:54,833 -What is this? -Okay, it is loud! 493 00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:56,416 It hasn't even started! 494 00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,041 The moment has finally arrived, the World Cup final. 495 00:21:59,125 --> 00:22:03,375 Two of the sport's biggest rivals playing off on the grandest stage. 496 00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:06,708 The first time they've ever played in a World Cup final. 497 00:22:06,791 --> 00:22:09,750 -(whistle blowing) -And off we go. 498 00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:13,666 Argentina in their light blue and Brazil, of course, in their canary yellow. 499 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:15,958 Kick that shit! 500 00:22:16,041 --> 00:22:19,083 (♪ Ivete Sangalo sings "Só Love na Cabeça" in Portuguese) 501 00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:24,500 -(player grunts) -(crowd exclaims) 502 00:22:24,583 --> 00:22:26,666 ♪ ♪ 503 00:22:28,041 --> 00:22:29,708 (crowd exclaiming) 504 00:22:29,791 --> 00:22:31,625 ♪ ♪ 505 00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:33,333 Mmm. 506 00:22:34,458 --> 00:22:37,083 (Elijah) That should be our mascot. 507 00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:39,958 Not some fucking hot dog. 508 00:22:40,041 --> 00:22:43,333 It's not a hot dog. It's a linguica, a Brazilian sausage. 509 00:22:43,916 --> 00:22:46,541 (Elijah) Doesn't matt-- It should be ours. 510 00:22:47,125 --> 00:22:50,500 I don't think they would've let the mascot of the World Cup be a condom with balls. 511 00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:53,375 I want to punch that dick right in the dick. 512 00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:55,916 Late in the first half here, very tense. 513 00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:01,208 Still goalless, but maybe Argentina can launch one final attack 514 00:23:01,291 --> 00:23:02,291 as they look to take the lead. 515 00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:03,458 Well, that's a nice move. 516 00:23:03,541 --> 00:23:05,583 Now forward to Alberti. 517 00:23:05,666 --> 00:23:08,666 He's got two defenders, and he's gone through them like a slalom skier. 518 00:23:08,750 --> 00:23:10,833 -Big chance for Argentina! -No, no, no, no, no, no! 519 00:23:10,916 --> 00:23:14,875 -Goal...! -(crowd exclaiming, cheering) 520 00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:18,041 (British announcer) They scored! It's Alberti! 521 00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:19,583 An incredible finish! 522 00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:22,166 That is some bullshit! 523 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,500 Oh, my God. 524 00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:26,333 Look at this. 525 00:23:26,416 --> 00:23:28,375 Limp dick. 526 00:23:28,458 --> 00:23:30,666 Hey, linguica! 527 00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:34,375 Or should I say "limp-guiça"? 528 00:23:34,458 --> 00:23:35,833 (laughing) 529 00:23:35,916 --> 00:23:38,458 (crowd chanting in Portuguese) 530 00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:41,500 (chanting continues) Brasil! 531 00:23:41,583 --> 00:23:44,208 (crowd chanting) 532 00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:47,416 (chanting continues) Brasil! 533 00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,000 We are late in the second half here. 534 00:23:49,083 --> 00:23:50,541 Argentina still up one-nil. 535 00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,500 They're gonna be content now to just sit back, 536 00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:54,416 absorb the pressure and try to gut out a win. 537 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,500 (players shouting) 538 00:23:56,583 --> 00:23:58,291 (crowd cheering) 539 00:23:58,375 --> 00:24:00,666 Time running out for the Seleção, though. 540 00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:03,875 The 90 minutes are up. We are into stoppage time. 541 00:24:03,958 --> 00:24:06,208 He's got a defender coming towards him and-- oh! 542 00:24:06,291 --> 00:24:08,625 Hello. That was a bad challenge. 543 00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:12,125 (in Portuguese) Kill the Argentines! 544 00:24:14,541 --> 00:24:15,958 (Elijah in English) I-I get it now. 545 00:24:16,041 --> 00:24:18,750 They're-they're... they're, like, busting our balls. 546 00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,333 -Who is? -The Champ's guys 547 00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:24,833 who put all-all the ads and the sausage out there. 548 00:24:24,916 --> 00:24:26,916 You know, just rubbing it in our faces. 549 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,333 (Brad) What are you talking about? 550 00:24:28,416 --> 00:24:30,083 Do you not see that? 551 00:24:30,166 --> 00:24:36,333 It looks like a huge cock out there, laughing its ass off at us. 552 00:24:36,416 --> 00:24:39,291 All right, stop it, all right? Sometimes a sausage is just a sausage. 553 00:24:39,375 --> 00:24:40,666 (Elijah) Come on. 554 00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:42,083 It's a cock! 555 00:24:42,166 --> 00:24:43,708 Oh, my God. Now you're just being ridiculous. 556 00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:44,875 Am I? 557 00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:49,750 Wow, he's just dangling his dick and balls in our faces. 558 00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:53,666 Jamming his member right into Jeremy's failing kidney. 559 00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:55,708 All right, stop it, okay? This is madness. 560 00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:58,208 If they really wanted to send a message, 561 00:24:58,291 --> 00:25:00,250 they would've put a condom on the mascot. 562 00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:03,916 As the clock ticks down, the Brazilian fans can hardly watch. 563 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,000 Look at this. Leo the Linguiça's even putting a rally cap on his head. 564 00:25:08,916 --> 00:25:11,583 Oh, motherfucker! 565 00:25:13,083 --> 00:25:14,833 -(crowd cheering) -(Brad) Okay. 566 00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:16,416 Okay, take-take it easy. 567 00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:18,750 -(Elijah) He just looked right at us. -(Brad) All right, calm down. 568 00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:20,208 -Calm down. -Shit balls. 569 00:25:20,291 --> 00:25:22,458 It doesn't matter. We're here, we're having fun. 570 00:25:22,541 --> 00:25:24,375 (crowd cheering) 571 00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,291 Oh, that's an outstanding save 572 00:25:27,375 --> 00:25:28,583 -by the goalkeeper. -Nice. 573 00:25:28,666 --> 00:25:30,333 Catlike reflexes 574 00:25:30,416 --> 00:25:32,166 in the Brazilian goal. 575 00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:37,541 Perhaps with that goalkeeping takeout, 576 00:25:37,625 --> 00:25:39,125 Brazil can now break out. 577 00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:44,416 Hero ball. 578 00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:46,541 (upbeat music playing) 579 00:25:50,875 --> 00:25:53,000 No! Bad Elijah! 580 00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:55,583 Here I come, sausage boy! 581 00:25:56,291 --> 00:25:58,291 -(Elijah yells, grunts) -(cheerleaders exclaiming) 582 00:26:00,833 --> 00:26:01,875 Yeah, you like-- 583 00:26:01,958 --> 00:26:03,375 (yells) 584 00:26:03,958 --> 00:26:05,916 Stop it! It's a linguica! 585 00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:10,083 Oh, you... doing the worm? 586 00:26:10,166 --> 00:26:11,666 ♪ ♪ 587 00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,208 Bad Elijah! Bad! 588 00:26:13,291 --> 00:26:16,916 The twinkle-toed Pereyra is weaving his way through the Argentine defense 589 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,083 like a ballerina across the stage. 590 00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:21,625 What's this, the mascot and two fans on the field? 591 00:26:21,708 --> 00:26:23,541 (British announcer) He's one-on-one with the goalkeeper. 592 00:26:23,625 --> 00:26:24,833 (Leo the Linguiça grunts) 593 00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,500 -The goalkeeper goes down. -(grunts) 594 00:26:26,583 --> 00:26:28,583 It's gonna be a goal... No! 595 00:26:28,666 --> 00:26:31,000 -(shocked exclaiming) -(gasping) 596 00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:34,041 (collective exclaiming) 597 00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:36,125 (exclaiming echoing) 598 00:26:36,208 --> 00:26:37,625 O quê? 599 00:26:37,708 --> 00:26:40,250 What just happened? This is absolute insanity. 600 00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,000 (British announcer) Extraordinary. What on earth 601 00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:43,416 -has gone on here? -(Brad) Shit. 602 00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:44,958 Two fans have invaded the pitch 603 00:26:45,041 --> 00:26:46,791 and prevented Brazil from scoring 604 00:26:46,875 --> 00:26:50,041 an equalizer late on in the World Cup final, 605 00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:52,375 in the most ridiculous of circumstances. 606 00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:53,583 Two idiots! 607 00:26:53,666 --> 00:26:55,833 I've never seen anything like that in my entire life. 608 00:26:56,833 --> 00:27:01,041 (angry shouting) 609 00:27:03,708 --> 00:27:06,375 Now the officials have got a big decision to make here. 610 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,666 They're gonna need some help from upstairs with this. 611 00:27:08,750 --> 00:27:10,875 And I reckon, you know, Brazil are gonna be out of luck. 612 00:27:10,958 --> 00:27:13,166 (American announcer) The rule states, when anything on the field-- 613 00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:16,750 whether it's a referee, an object, an animal or a person-- interferes, 614 00:27:16,833 --> 00:27:19,458 and I quote here, "Play must be restarted 615 00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:22,833 from the position of the match ball, without penalty." 616 00:27:22,916 --> 00:27:24,375 -(shouting) -(whistle blowing) 617 00:27:24,458 --> 00:27:27,333 (British announcer) The referee is going to apply the letter of the law. 618 00:27:27,416 --> 00:27:29,500 Well, the Brazilians 619 00:27:29,583 --> 00:27:33,000 are absolutely cooking about that decision. 620 00:27:33,083 --> 00:27:36,916 (American announcer) The entire country of Brazil has been robbed. 621 00:27:37,708 --> 00:27:40,208 (in Portuguese) Kill the Americans! 622 00:27:40,291 --> 00:27:43,833 (chanting) Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer! 623 00:27:43,916 --> 00:27:45,250 -(in English) What are they saying? -(phone beeps) 624 00:27:45,333 --> 00:27:46,708 (Larry David chanting) You're gonna die! 625 00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:49,666 You're gonna die! You're gonna die! 626 00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:53,541 Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer! 627 00:27:53,625 --> 00:27:55,958 (Larry David) You're gonna die! You're gonna die! 628 00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:58,375 -I think he's just talking about you. -Die, die, die! 629 00:27:58,458 --> 00:28:01,125 Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer! Uh vai morrer! 630 00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:03,166 Calm down! 631 00:28:03,250 --> 00:28:05,166 It's only a game! 632 00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:06,458 -(whistle blowing) -Uh vai morrer! 633 00:28:06,541 --> 00:28:07,875 (American announcer) And there it is. 634 00:28:07,958 --> 00:28:12,666 Argentina are the world champions in the most improbable finish ever. 635 00:28:12,750 --> 00:28:16,208 (♪ O Terno sing "atrás/além" in Portuguese) 636 00:28:17,750 --> 00:28:20,250 (groaning) Oh, no. 637 00:28:21,583 --> 00:28:24,791 Oh, holy shit. 638 00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:31,916 Oh, man. 639 00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:37,041 Are we in hell? 640 00:28:38,375 --> 00:28:40,125 Not far from. 641 00:28:40,208 --> 00:28:42,208 This is all your fault, running onto that field. 642 00:28:42,291 --> 00:28:45,416 Please, we would still have our jobs if it weren't for you. 643 00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:48,166 That should be our condom mascot. 644 00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:49,541 It wasn't a condom mascot. 645 00:28:49,625 --> 00:28:53,458 How many fucking times do I have to tell you, it was a linguica! 646 00:28:54,458 --> 00:28:55,875 (exhales) Okay. 647 00:28:55,958 --> 00:28:57,416 Okay, don't panic. 648 00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:00,083 Oh, I'm not. That was midnight to 3:00. 649 00:29:00,166 --> 00:29:03,000 There you go, thinking only of yourself. 650 00:29:03,083 --> 00:29:04,916 I was talking to me. 651 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,416 (guard) Bom dia. 652 00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,250 -(Antonia) Bom dia. Obrigado. -(guard speaks indistinctly) 653 00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:10,333 (upbeat music playing) 654 00:29:18,333 --> 00:29:20,750 Obrigado. Bom dia. 655 00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:22,250 -Bom dia. -Bom dia. 656 00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:23,375 -Good morning. -Hi. 657 00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:25,083 Antonia Costa. 658 00:29:25,166 --> 00:29:27,041 The best public defender in all of Brazil. 659 00:29:27,125 --> 00:29:28,458 (gasps) 660 00:29:28,541 --> 00:29:30,791 That's what Veja magazine will call me when I win this, 661 00:29:30,875 --> 00:29:33,333 the "Trial of the Century." 662 00:29:33,416 --> 00:29:34,875 I've never lost a case. 663 00:29:34,958 --> 00:29:38,083 Of course, I've never won a case, but still, undefeated. 664 00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:40,750 W-- This is your first case? 665 00:29:40,833 --> 00:29:42,458 This is my first day! 666 00:29:42,541 --> 00:29:44,916 You know, the new girl drew the short straw. 667 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,583 Shit flows downhill, so I'm here. 668 00:29:46,666 --> 00:29:50,083 Shit? What... what-what are we in that metaphor? 669 00:29:50,166 --> 00:29:53,666 (in Portuguese) I can't believe you're going to represent these animals. 670 00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:56,166 (in English) You would do this to your own country? 671 00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:57,375 (Elijah) Pardon me, sir, 672 00:29:57,458 --> 00:29:59,000 but you shouldn't be listening to this. 673 00:29:59,916 --> 00:30:02,125 So let's just tap into that youthful enthusiasm, huh? 674 00:30:02,208 --> 00:30:03,333 What-what's your plan? 675 00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:09,083 Okay, so here's what we're gonna do. 676 00:30:09,166 --> 00:30:12,416 -If I may, I was prelaw at Penn. -State. 677 00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:14,666 (Elijah) P-- State. Penn State. You didn't let me finish. 678 00:30:14,750 --> 00:30:16,625 My mother thought that I was going to be an attorney. 679 00:30:16,708 --> 00:30:18,750 Ever the contrarian, I'm not. 680 00:30:18,833 --> 00:30:20,250 But I do recall 681 00:30:20,333 --> 00:30:26,250 a certain U.S. v. Humberto Alvarez-Machain. 682 00:30:26,333 --> 00:30:29,166 Oh, and I think I recall a certain, uh, Judge Joe Brown case 683 00:30:29,250 --> 00:30:31,000 -"Shrimpin' Ain't Easy." So what? -(Antonia) Excuse me. 684 00:30:31,083 --> 00:30:33,541 Just two minutes alone with them, please. 685 00:30:33,625 --> 00:30:35,083 Can you just... 686 00:30:36,208 --> 00:30:38,291 We're getting the death sentence, aren't we? 687 00:30:38,375 --> 00:30:39,458 (guard) Yes. 688 00:30:39,541 --> 00:30:41,291 After we torture you. 689 00:30:41,375 --> 00:30:43,500 Again, why-why does he keep butting in? 690 00:30:43,583 --> 00:30:46,125 No one asked for your opinion, von Frankenstein. 691 00:30:46,208 --> 00:30:48,083 Look, forget about him. 692 00:30:48,166 --> 00:30:49,791 I took the oath: 693 00:30:49,875 --> 00:30:52,958 "I am the light that dispels the darkness of injustice." 694 00:30:53,041 --> 00:30:54,750 No matter the terrible cost. 695 00:30:54,833 --> 00:30:57,666 "No matter the te--" What te-- I'm sorry, what terrible cost? 696 00:30:57,750 --> 00:30:59,250 You're-you're a public defender. 697 00:30:59,333 --> 00:31:01,750 Uh, yeah, but still, after this, 698 00:31:01,833 --> 00:31:04,750 for sure I'll never be able to walk down the street again. 699 00:31:04,833 --> 00:31:07,291 Shop for groceries, use a public restroom. 700 00:31:07,375 --> 00:31:09,250 My mother will be ostracized at church. 701 00:31:09,333 --> 00:31:11,291 My brothers will be bullied at school. 702 00:31:11,375 --> 00:31:13,250 -Yikes. -(Antonia) But that doesn't matter. 703 00:31:13,333 --> 00:31:16,541 I have a good plan to get you guys out of here. 704 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:17,833 Hold it right there. 705 00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:22,875 Consider this your exit interview, Antonia Costas. 706 00:31:22,958 --> 00:31:24,000 Wait, what are you doing? 707 00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,541 Thinking of someone other than myself. 708 00:31:26,625 --> 00:31:28,958 You and I have hurt too many people. 709 00:31:29,041 --> 00:31:30,041 You're fired! 710 00:31:30,125 --> 00:31:31,416 -What? No. -No. 711 00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:33,958 Go. Go and buy your groceries, 712 00:31:34,041 --> 00:31:36,250 and use a public restroom, if you have to. 713 00:31:36,333 --> 00:31:39,166 If-- maybe line the toilet seat with paper. 714 00:31:39,250 --> 00:31:40,541 You're misunderstanding everything. 715 00:31:40,625 --> 00:31:42,041 Just go. 716 00:31:42,125 --> 00:31:43,333 We'll figure it out. 717 00:31:43,416 --> 00:31:45,625 (in Portuguese) No chance they're figuring it out. 718 00:31:45,708 --> 00:31:46,708 (in English) Uh, excuse me. 719 00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:49,208 I'm their lawyer, I have the right to speak to them in private, 720 00:31:49,291 --> 00:31:50,958 so if you could just step out, please. 721 00:31:51,041 --> 00:31:53,208 You're not their lawyer. They just fired you. 722 00:31:53,291 --> 00:31:55,250 'Cause they haven't heard my plan yet. 723 00:31:55,333 --> 00:31:56,583 (in Portuguese) Get out. Out! 724 00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:58,916 (in English) Guys, guys, unfire me. 725 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,125 Can I just leave my number? 726 00:32:00,208 --> 00:32:03,125 Guys, you're not understanding the gravity of this situation. 727 00:32:03,208 --> 00:32:05,041 Nice move, shit-brains-- you just fired our only hope. 728 00:32:05,125 --> 00:32:06,708 I'm not going to ruin that girl's life. 729 00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:09,083 Yeah, and someday you're going to learn that no good deed goes unpunished. 730 00:32:09,166 --> 00:32:10,458 I'll take it from here. 731 00:32:10,541 --> 00:32:13,166 Senhor DeBell, Senhor Lewison... 732 00:32:13,250 --> 00:32:15,083 (in Portuguese) The Stupids. 733 00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:17,291 (intriguing music playing) 734 00:32:19,041 --> 00:32:20,958 (elevator bell dings) 735 00:32:33,333 --> 00:32:35,458 (music fades) 736 00:32:35,541 --> 00:32:37,208 Now it's up to you, sir. 737 00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:41,000 Brad. Elijah. 738 00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:43,083 (in English) We know, "Os Estúpidos." 739 00:32:43,166 --> 00:32:44,875 Ah, no, no. 740 00:32:44,958 --> 00:32:47,208 Pay no attention to such vulgarities. 741 00:32:47,291 --> 00:32:49,708 I am Jessel Cristos, Minister of Defense. 742 00:32:49,791 --> 00:32:51,958 -The Minister of Defense? -(elevator bell dings) 743 00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:53,583 -Jesus Christ. -(sighs) 744 00:32:53,666 --> 00:32:55,500 I came straight from my jog. 745 00:32:55,583 --> 00:32:59,708 My business, my mission, is the security of our great country 746 00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:01,208 and everyone in it. 747 00:33:01,291 --> 00:33:04,250 Which is why I came in early this morning, 748 00:33:04,333 --> 00:33:06,500 to ensure nothing unjust happens to you. 749 00:33:06,583 --> 00:33:08,125 (sighs heavily) Oh, yeah. 750 00:33:10,083 --> 00:33:11,333 Please. 751 00:33:12,333 --> 00:33:14,458 -Very kind of you. -(mysterious music playing) 752 00:33:16,875 --> 00:33:18,791 (music intensifies) 753 00:33:24,791 --> 00:33:26,750 -(music stops) -Come in, guys. 754 00:33:26,833 --> 00:33:29,750 You're Americans. I must ask you, 755 00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:34,916 do you understand how much hatred we have for our futebol rivals to the south? 756 00:33:36,208 --> 00:33:38,625 My kid... 757 00:33:38,708 --> 00:33:41,375 started to root for Argentina. 758 00:33:41,458 --> 00:33:43,458 Little rebellion. 759 00:33:43,541 --> 00:33:45,666 We haven't spoken since. 760 00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:47,791 Well, teenagers can be very difficult. 761 00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:49,875 The child was only nine. 762 00:33:51,041 --> 00:33:53,125 Look, it was Elijah who ran onto that field. 763 00:33:53,208 --> 00:33:54,375 -Oh... -The pitch, the pitch. 764 00:33:54,458 --> 00:33:55,750 He ran on the fucking pitch. 765 00:33:55,833 --> 00:33:57,125 -Selfish. -I told him to stop. He was drunk. 766 00:33:57,208 --> 00:33:58,833 (in Portuguese) Shut the fuck up! 767 00:33:58,916 --> 00:34:00,833 Enough of your nonsense! 768 00:34:05,125 --> 00:34:06,541 (chuckling) 769 00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:08,291 (in English) The fear in your eyes. 770 00:34:10,291 --> 00:34:15,666 You must think I'm some sort of corrupt, tin-pot martinet, 771 00:34:15,750 --> 00:34:20,750 capable of committing whimsical violence with total impunity. 772 00:34:22,208 --> 00:34:24,416 I'm sorry. Yeah. 773 00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:29,583 Contrary to your ugly culturalist misconceptions, 774 00:34:29,666 --> 00:34:32,208 I'm not going to chop off your hand 775 00:34:32,291 --> 00:34:34,291 or throw you in some dungeon. 776 00:34:34,375 --> 00:34:35,750 Or consider Venmo? 777 00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:38,000 Or accept some paltry bribe. 778 00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:43,208 What I am going to do instead... 779 00:34:43,291 --> 00:34:44,750 is let you go. 780 00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:47,000 -(Cristos chuckling) -You're gonna... 781 00:34:47,083 --> 00:34:49,125 (Elijah breathing heavily, laughs) 782 00:34:49,208 --> 00:34:50,750 (sighs) 783 00:34:50,833 --> 00:34:52,541 Here. 784 00:34:54,125 --> 00:34:56,125 Door's unlocked. 785 00:34:56,208 --> 00:34:57,916 Same elevator you rode up. 786 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,583 Go down to the lobby, then go straight, double doors right to the street. 787 00:35:02,666 --> 00:35:04,333 Really? I cannot thank you enough. 788 00:35:04,416 --> 00:35:06,833 -You are so kind and compassionate. -(Cristos chuckling) 789 00:35:06,916 --> 00:35:07,916 Thank you. 790 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,000 -(elevator bell dings) -(mellow music playing over speakers) 791 00:35:10,083 --> 00:35:12,500 (sighs) I did not expect him to be that nice. 792 00:35:12,583 --> 00:35:14,875 He really was like Jesus, very forgiving. 793 00:35:14,958 --> 00:35:16,375 Forgiving? 794 00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:19,208 Are you kidding me? Do you not see what just happened? 795 00:35:19,291 --> 00:35:21,750 He is throwing us to the wolves. 796 00:35:21,833 --> 00:35:25,458 What we needed was some sort of, like, police escort. 797 00:35:25,541 --> 00:35:28,166 You know, armed guards taking us to a flight. 798 00:35:28,250 --> 00:35:31,416 What we got was the streets. 799 00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:33,250 -Holy shit. -The streets of Brazil. 800 00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,333 You're right, and they're gonna recognize us. 801 00:35:35,416 --> 00:35:37,291 I don't have one of those everyday faces like you. 802 00:35:37,375 --> 00:35:39,041 No, not in Brazil you don't. 803 00:35:39,125 --> 00:35:41,958 Okay. All right, you know what, don't freak out. 804 00:35:42,041 --> 00:35:43,916 Crowds are like dogs-- they smell fear, 805 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,250 -so you got to relax, act natural. -Mm-hmm. 806 00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:49,291 Just smile, nod and tudo bem. 807 00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:50,500 -Okay? -Tudo bem. 808 00:35:50,583 --> 00:35:51,583 -Keep it on the low. -Yeah. 809 00:35:51,666 --> 00:35:52,666 -Come on. -(elevator bell dings) 810 00:35:52,750 --> 00:35:54,208 -(people chattering, laughing) -(upbeat music playing) 811 00:35:54,291 --> 00:35:56,750 Oh, shit. Oh, God. 812 00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:58,250 Come on. 813 00:35:58,333 --> 00:35:59,375 (laughs nervously) 814 00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:03,125 I don't know how long I can keep this smile going. 815 00:36:03,208 --> 00:36:05,708 -(quiet chatter) -(Brad) Will you fucking come on. 816 00:36:05,791 --> 00:36:07,166 -(grunts) -Oh, my God. 817 00:36:07,250 --> 00:36:08,750 -Sorry. -Everybody's looking at us. 818 00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:11,416 Oh, God. 819 00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:13,083 Where are we even going? 820 00:36:13,166 --> 00:36:15,166 -I don't know. -Oh, that's reassuring. 821 00:36:15,250 --> 00:36:16,625 (Brad) Oh, my God. 822 00:36:16,708 --> 00:36:18,208 Shit, my phone. 823 00:36:18,291 --> 00:36:20,000 -Let it go. -What? 824 00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:21,708 I still have 18 months of payments. 825 00:36:21,791 --> 00:36:23,291 -You didn't buy it outright? -No. 826 00:36:23,375 --> 00:36:25,833 I spread it out, okay? Sounded like a good decision at the time. 827 00:36:25,916 --> 00:36:27,708 Oh, I think that's how they get you. 828 00:36:27,791 --> 00:36:29,416 (quiet conversation) 829 00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:32,291 (intriguing music playing) 830 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,916 (in Portuguese) The Stupids! 831 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,208 (onlooker) Americanos. 832 00:36:37,291 --> 00:36:38,791 (crowd chatter) 833 00:36:38,875 --> 00:36:40,125 (in English) Oh, shit. 834 00:36:40,208 --> 00:36:42,291 (upbeat dramatic music playing) 835 00:36:42,375 --> 00:36:43,458 Go! 836 00:36:44,541 --> 00:36:46,500 (angry shouting) 837 00:36:46,583 --> 00:36:47,791 Oh, God. 838 00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:49,125 Fuck. 839 00:36:52,041 --> 00:36:53,375 Come on. 840 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000 (angry shouting) 841 00:36:59,333 --> 00:37:00,708 They're still coming. 842 00:37:00,791 --> 00:37:02,125 "They" who? 843 00:37:02,208 --> 00:37:03,916 "They" Brazil. 844 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,791 (engine revving) 845 00:37:05,875 --> 00:37:07,041 -(tires screeching) -(Santos) Get in! 846 00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,458 Senhor Santos, what are you doing? 847 00:37:08,541 --> 00:37:10,375 Handling my shit. 848 00:37:10,458 --> 00:37:13,458 (angry shouting in Portuguese) 849 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,958 (engine revving, tires screeching) 850 00:37:17,041 --> 00:37:19,041 (angry shouting continues) 851 00:37:20,041 --> 00:37:22,875 (♪ Jonathan Richman sings "Papel de Chicle" in Portuguese) 852 00:37:22,958 --> 00:37:24,958 ♪ ♪ 853 00:37:29,625 --> 00:37:31,625 (horns honking) 854 00:37:35,666 --> 00:37:37,208 -You look amazing, Artie. -(song continues over radio) 855 00:37:37,291 --> 00:37:41,875 I went on a two-month bender, but now I'm 23 days sober. 856 00:37:41,958 --> 00:37:43,458 I must thank you. 857 00:37:43,541 --> 00:37:45,416 You two gave me quite the wake-up call. 858 00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:46,541 -(chuckling) -(Brad) Huh. 859 00:37:46,625 --> 00:37:48,500 Thank God everything's okay. 860 00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:50,541 I mean, sure, my wife left me. 861 00:37:50,625 --> 00:37:53,583 The courts took away my house and my kids. 862 00:37:53,666 --> 00:37:55,458 I lost my job, my pension. 863 00:37:55,541 --> 00:37:57,333 My dignity. 864 00:37:57,416 --> 00:37:59,500 And that's not even getting into my withdrawal symptoms. 865 00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:03,916 It's not the bugs on my skin. It's the bugs under my skin. 866 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,625 Why are you here? Why-why are you doing this for us? 867 00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:08,583 The 12 Steps of Recovery. 868 00:38:08,666 --> 00:38:09,958 This is number nine. 869 00:38:10,041 --> 00:38:11,750 -Aiding and abetting? -Amends. 870 00:38:11,833 --> 00:38:13,375 So what's the plan? 871 00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:16,833 Don't look at me. 872 00:38:16,916 --> 00:38:19,333 I've been in a pretty bad brain fog lately. 873 00:38:19,416 --> 00:38:23,083 Did I mention that they had to shock my prefrontal cortex to stem the addiction? 874 00:38:23,166 --> 00:38:26,208 So... awaiting your thoughts. 875 00:38:27,750 --> 00:38:29,958 Look, Artie, you've been friends with el presidente forever. 876 00:38:30,041 --> 00:38:31,208 Can't you guys just make up? 877 00:38:31,291 --> 00:38:35,333 Oh, no, no, no, he's the most Brazilian person in Brazil. 878 00:38:35,416 --> 00:38:37,083 Well, who the fuck in Brazil isn't Brazilian? 879 00:38:37,166 --> 00:38:40,750 Oh! (snaps fingers) The U. S. Consulate. 880 00:38:41,666 --> 00:38:43,458 -Genius. -Diplomatic immunity. 881 00:38:43,541 --> 00:38:45,458 -(Elijah exhales) -Hold on to your hats. 882 00:38:45,541 --> 00:38:47,250 (engine revving) 883 00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:49,708 -(tires screeching) -Shit. 884 00:38:49,791 --> 00:38:50,958 -Ow. -(engine sputters, stops) 885 00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:53,291 Learn how to drive, asshole. 886 00:38:53,375 --> 00:38:55,458 -(speaking Portuguese) -(♪ Barbatuques sings "Baianá") 887 00:38:55,541 --> 00:38:57,041 Or don't learn. You're good. 888 00:38:57,125 --> 00:38:58,125 -(guns clicking) -No, you're fine. 889 00:38:58,208 --> 00:38:59,583 -(shouting in Portuguese) -(people screaming) 890 00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:02,708 Fuck. 891 00:39:03,791 --> 00:39:04,833 (bangs on roof) 892 00:39:04,916 --> 00:39:05,916 (Brad) Hola. 893 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,250 Uh, c-could you point us to the ambassador, please? 894 00:39:08,333 --> 00:39:10,250 I don't think he speaks English. 895 00:39:10,333 --> 00:39:11,541 Let me handle it. 896 00:39:11,625 --> 00:39:13,416 Uh, tudo bem? 897 00:39:15,083 --> 00:39:17,083 (song continues with lyrics in Portuguese) 898 00:39:29,875 --> 00:39:31,875 ♪ ♪ 899 00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:48,125 -(song ends) -Gentlemen... 900 00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:53,458 ...I'm going to ask you a simple question. 901 00:39:58,083 --> 00:40:00,833 If you get it wrong... 902 00:40:00,916 --> 00:40:04,375 I'm going to blow your head off. 903 00:40:04,458 --> 00:40:06,041 (Brad breathing heavily) 904 00:40:07,458 --> 00:40:09,375 Here's the question. 905 00:40:10,333 --> 00:40:13,333 (speaking gibberish with Portuguese accent) 906 00:40:24,333 --> 00:40:29,541 Is the answer yaysh or naow? 907 00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:36,166 Uh, uh, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry, I wasn't completely able to understand. 908 00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:39,083 Uh, uh, could you, could you repeat the question, please? 909 00:40:39,166 --> 00:40:42,583 (speaking gibberish with Portuguese accent) 910 00:40:45,416 --> 00:40:47,500 (Elijah mouthing) 911 00:40:48,583 --> 00:40:50,916 (gibberish continues) 912 00:40:52,041 --> 00:40:56,833 So is the answer yaysh or naow? 913 00:40:58,208 --> 00:41:00,208 (sighs heavily) 914 00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,916 Uh... 915 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,083 D-Did you say "regout"? 916 00:41:05,166 --> 00:41:07,041 What? 917 00:41:07,125 --> 00:41:08,750 What is "regout"? 918 00:41:08,833 --> 00:41:10,750 Bregout. 919 00:41:10,833 --> 00:41:12,333 The English word "bregout." 920 00:41:14,666 --> 00:41:17,375 Could... could you use it in a sentence? 921 00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:21,875 (sets glasses on table) 922 00:41:23,916 --> 00:41:25,875 It is very bregout. 923 00:41:27,041 --> 00:41:28,875 (laughs weakly) 924 00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:31,541 So what's the answer? 925 00:41:31,625 --> 00:41:35,625 Yaysh or naow? You first. 926 00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:40,750 Um... I-I'm going to say yaysh. 927 00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:42,875 What... what is yaysh? 928 00:41:43,958 --> 00:41:46,208 You said-- (stammering) 929 00:41:46,291 --> 00:41:47,791 I-- I'm sorry. 930 00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:52,916 (laughs) I thought you said "yaysh or naow," and... 931 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,000 Hmm. 932 00:41:54,083 --> 00:41:56,208 I-I'm gonna go naow. 933 00:41:57,708 --> 00:42:00,833 You chose to answer different from your friend. 934 00:42:00,916 --> 00:42:03,833 That means one of you... 935 00:42:04,958 --> 00:42:06,833 ...is gonna die. 936 00:42:07,583 --> 00:42:09,458 Because... 937 00:42:09,541 --> 00:42:13,041 I am... 938 00:42:14,875 --> 00:42:16,625 ...fucking with you! 939 00:42:16,708 --> 00:42:19,458 (laughter) 940 00:42:19,541 --> 00:42:22,708 You think I speak like that, "yaysh or naow"? 941 00:42:22,791 --> 00:42:25,833 I learned really good English at University of Mississippi. 942 00:42:25,916 --> 00:42:28,125 -Oh, go Rebels. -Oh, Rebels. 943 00:42:28,208 --> 00:42:29,583 Ole Miss, yeah. 944 00:42:29,666 --> 00:42:32,916 I think the big alumnus from there is, uh... (sniffs) 945 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,791 -...Peyton Manning, right? -Eli. 946 00:42:34,875 --> 00:42:37,458 Oh, you know Eli? Yeah, my brother-in-law met him 947 00:42:37,541 --> 00:42:39,291 a couple times, didn't get along. 948 00:42:39,375 --> 00:42:42,250 Yeah, yeah, I heard, I heard Eli's a little tricky. 949 00:42:42,333 --> 00:42:43,708 Fuck that guy. 950 00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:46,833 -Bradley. Elijah. -Yeah, Brad. 951 00:42:46,916 --> 00:42:50,458 I am Pavio Curto Bundchen. 952 00:42:50,541 --> 00:42:55,791 And these 300 square miles of jungle is my home. 953 00:42:55,875 --> 00:42:58,375 Three hundred miles. How long was I out? 954 00:42:58,458 --> 00:43:00,958 Half a day. You're gonna need an MRI if we ever get home. 955 00:43:01,041 --> 00:43:04,250 You see, uh, this house, this cartel, 956 00:43:04,333 --> 00:43:08,375 this whole country-- there is nothing in Brazil that I could not have. 957 00:43:08,458 --> 00:43:09,666 Including you two. 958 00:43:09,750 --> 00:43:15,166 If I wanted, I could shoot three bullets in your dicks, 959 00:43:15,250 --> 00:43:20,333 take a machete, pull them out, load them back into my gun 960 00:43:20,416 --> 00:43:22,416 and shoot them in your brains. 961 00:43:23,083 --> 00:43:25,875 If I had one request, just make mine brain, then dick. 962 00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:28,000 I mean, once you've hit brain, you can go to town on dick. 963 00:43:28,083 --> 00:43:29,208 Okay. 964 00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:31,375 I'm gonna go dick first. 965 00:43:32,458 --> 00:43:35,041 I mean, it's not great, but at least I won't be dead. 966 00:43:35,125 --> 00:43:38,333 No brains or dicks today. 967 00:43:39,375 --> 00:43:41,750 You may be wondering why I "kitchsnapped" you. 968 00:43:41,833 --> 00:43:43,375 Yeah. 969 00:43:43,458 --> 00:43:45,500 Elijah, I'm sure he's got his reasons. Read the room. 970 00:43:45,583 --> 00:43:47,041 Speaking of rooms, this is beautiful. 971 00:43:47,125 --> 00:43:49,333 -I mean, the whole place is just stunning. -Natural light. 972 00:43:49,416 --> 00:43:51,250 You should've seen this place before. 973 00:43:51,333 --> 00:43:52,833 It was a shithole-- 974 00:43:52,916 --> 00:43:55,791 rainforest as far as the eye could see 975 00:43:55,875 --> 00:43:58,833 with indigenous people shitting on the floor. 976 00:43:58,916 --> 00:44:01,041 So I drove them out, 977 00:44:01,125 --> 00:44:04,166 I burned down 100,000 acres, 978 00:44:04,250 --> 00:44:07,208 I put in a pool, a pickleball court, 979 00:44:07,291 --> 00:44:10,708 and-- how you call it-- a mass gravy? 980 00:44:11,291 --> 00:44:14,041 Mass grave. Yeah, that's what we call it. 981 00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:18,041 (quietly) ♪ Here comes that rainy day feeling again ♪♪ 982 00:44:18,125 --> 00:44:19,500 Is it too warm? 983 00:44:19,583 --> 00:44:22,166 Is it...? No. No, I'm fine. 984 00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:24,125 No, no, no, you're sweating. 985 00:44:25,541 --> 00:44:27,541 I'm such a terrible host. 986 00:44:28,416 --> 00:44:31,125 We had the problem with the AC, so I asked Nando over here 987 00:44:31,208 --> 00:44:32,291 -to fix it. -Hmm? 988 00:44:32,375 --> 00:44:36,166 But I guess he didn't really manage to complete the job. 989 00:44:36,250 --> 00:44:37,458 (grunts) 990 00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:39,416 -(body thuds) -(tense music playing) 991 00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:41,541 (Pavio) Forgive me. 992 00:44:42,291 --> 00:44:44,125 Undercover polícia. 993 00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:48,458 At least he was giving off that vibe for the last few years. 994 00:44:48,541 --> 00:44:52,458 Although, to be fair, I have sometimes confused the undercover polícia vibe 995 00:44:52,541 --> 00:44:55,083 for the holding in a poo vibe 996 00:44:55,166 --> 00:44:57,208 because it's a very similar face. 997 00:44:58,666 --> 00:44:59,750 Take him away. 998 00:44:59,833 --> 00:45:01,125 The mass grave? 999 00:45:01,208 --> 00:45:04,208 No, lazy river. Of course the mass grave! 1000 00:45:04,833 --> 00:45:07,250 (boots squeaking on floor) 1001 00:45:07,333 --> 00:45:12,083 Let-let me be the one to-to start, um, a three-part apology. 1002 00:45:12,166 --> 00:45:15,166 We-we... never would've done what we did 1003 00:45:15,250 --> 00:45:19,916 had we known how much you guys care about futebol. 1004 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,208 (Pavio) You think I care about futebol? 1005 00:45:22,291 --> 00:45:26,458 I don't give 15 shits about futebol. 1006 00:45:27,208 --> 00:45:29,291 (hushed) In fact, I hate it. 1007 00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:31,333 It's a stupid game. 1008 00:45:31,416 --> 00:45:35,166 Have you ever walked into a bar and seen a goal scored live? 1009 00:45:35,250 --> 00:45:37,083 It's always a highlight. 1010 00:45:37,166 --> 00:45:40,416 That's how rare these fucking goals are. 1011 00:45:40,500 --> 00:45:43,541 And don't get me started about the flopping. 1012 00:45:43,625 --> 00:45:49,208 Grown men making delicate nudges look like they've been shot with a bazooka. 1013 00:45:49,291 --> 00:45:51,500 Finally someone who gets it. 1014 00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:53,625 But here's the problem. 1015 00:45:53,708 --> 00:45:57,416 However much I hate futebol 1016 00:45:57,500 --> 00:46:03,791 is equal to how much I love money. 1017 00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:05,916 I'm not materialistic. 1018 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,958 I don't love money. I just love the things that it can buy 1019 00:46:10,041 --> 00:46:13,333 -and the way you can control people. -Yeah. 1020 00:46:13,416 --> 00:46:15,875 Which is why, even though I hate futebol, 1021 00:46:15,958 --> 00:46:22,083 I put a little, big, huge bet on the World Cup final. 1022 00:46:23,375 --> 00:46:28,041 Um, um, how much money did you-- we cause you to lose? 1023 00:46:29,416 --> 00:46:31,708 How much did I lose? 1024 00:46:32,875 --> 00:46:34,791 I fucking won! 1025 00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:37,250 -(laughter) -I bet the under! 1026 00:46:37,333 --> 00:46:41,583 Brazil's shot goes in, I would've been 30 million reais down. 1027 00:46:41,666 --> 00:46:43,125 Instead, I'm 30 million up. 1028 00:46:43,208 --> 00:46:46,208 That's 60 million reais on the swing. 1029 00:46:46,291 --> 00:46:47,583 -The swing. -(Pavio) The swing is, 1030 00:46:47,666 --> 00:46:50,666 how do you explain it, when you go from the down to the up. 1031 00:46:50,750 --> 00:46:52,625 No, no, I know. He thinks the swing is dumb. 1032 00:46:52,708 --> 00:46:54,250 (Elijah) I'm-I'm coming around on the swing now. 1033 00:46:54,333 --> 00:46:55,583 I-- The swing has swung. 1034 00:46:55,666 --> 00:46:57,666 (Pavio) The swing is so big this time, 1035 00:46:57,750 --> 00:47:03,083 all thanks to you two motherfuckers. 1036 00:47:03,166 --> 00:47:04,333 So glad we could help. 1037 00:47:04,416 --> 00:47:08,291 Um, uh, what-what, uh, Senhor Pavio Curto, um... 1038 00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:09,666 Please-please-please, call me Curt. 1039 00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:11,583 -Curt? -Curt. 1040 00:47:11,666 --> 00:47:15,416 Curt, um, just so I understand, you kidnapped us to...? 1041 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,083 -To party! -(gunshot) 1042 00:47:17,166 --> 00:47:19,166 ("In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" karaoke track playing) 1043 00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:24,500 -(henchman) ♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey ♪ -(snorting) 1044 00:47:24,583 --> 00:47:26,000 (laughing) 1045 00:47:26,083 --> 00:47:29,500 ♪ Don't you know that I'm loving you? ♪ 1046 00:47:29,583 --> 00:47:31,916 ♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby... 1047 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:33,125 So, anyone? 1048 00:47:33,208 --> 00:47:36,041 Anyone. Just say their name and I kill them. 1049 00:47:36,125 --> 00:47:38,291 -(exhales) -My gift to you, gordinho. 1050 00:47:38,375 --> 00:47:40,666 Oh, gosh, I got to think about that. Um... 1051 00:47:40,750 --> 00:47:42,583 Oh, Bosswoman Burgess, uh... 1052 00:47:42,666 --> 00:47:43,958 Wait, my doctor. 1053 00:47:44,041 --> 00:47:45,291 -Your doctor? -Yeah. 1054 00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:47,291 -What a judgmental prick this guy is. -Hmm. 1055 00:47:47,375 --> 00:47:48,375 So Doctor who? 1056 00:47:48,458 --> 00:47:50,291 No, do not take this down. 1057 00:47:50,375 --> 00:47:54,708 This is-- I'm just reading the menu aloud. I'm not ordering. 1058 00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:58,458 -Anyone else? -Brad! 1059 00:47:58,541 --> 00:48:00,208 Brad. 1060 00:48:00,291 --> 00:48:01,666 Hey. 1061 00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:04,833 How nice of Curt to let us shower, loan us these cool duds. 1062 00:48:04,916 --> 00:48:07,750 -Look at this shit. -Yeah, that's great, man. Look at the TV. 1063 00:48:11,083 --> 00:48:14,458 In unusual but unsurprising news, 1064 00:48:14,541 --> 00:48:17,750 two Americans running amok in another country. 1065 00:48:17,833 --> 00:48:20,625 Brad Lewison and Elijah DeBell, 1066 00:48:20,708 --> 00:48:25,500 former employees of the now defunct Regal Blue Condom Company. 1067 00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:27,416 Oh, I couldn't believe it when I saw it. 1068 00:48:27,500 --> 00:48:28,541 Are you kidding me? 1069 00:48:28,625 --> 00:48:31,458 I mean, Brad, yes, of course, it was just a matter of time. 1070 00:48:31,541 --> 00:48:33,958 But Elijah, now, that... 1071 00:48:34,041 --> 00:48:36,125 -I don't want to watch this shit. -...was really out of character for him. 1072 00:48:36,208 --> 00:48:39,458 ...have an opinion on what's been dubbed the Fiasco in Rio. 1073 00:48:39,541 --> 00:48:41,500 Frankly... 1074 00:48:41,583 --> 00:48:43,041 I-I'm embarrassed. 1075 00:48:43,125 --> 00:48:45,958 I mean, think about all the good the USA has done for South America-- 1076 00:48:46,041 --> 00:48:49,083 the war on drugs, how the CIA ran their elections-- 1077 00:48:49,166 --> 00:48:51,833 and all that good is gone now, evacuated into thin air, 1078 00:48:51,916 --> 00:48:53,500 all because of these two a-holes. 1079 00:48:53,583 --> 00:48:55,500 But the anger Americans are feeling 1080 00:48:55,583 --> 00:48:59,291 pales to the outrage that has swept across the fifth-largest country in the world. 1081 00:48:59,375 --> 00:49:00,375 (in Portuguese) If I got a chance, 1082 00:49:00,458 --> 00:49:02,000 I would kill those guys! 1083 00:49:02,083 --> 00:49:03,500 It's only a matter of time! 1084 00:49:03,583 --> 00:49:04,750 And they will be dead! 1085 00:49:04,833 --> 00:49:06,583 (reporter in English) What is an embarrassment for America 1086 00:49:06,666 --> 00:49:08,708 has become a tragedy for Brazil. 1087 00:49:08,791 --> 00:49:10,791 Back to you, Alexi, in the studio. 1088 00:49:10,875 --> 00:49:15,083 All of soccer-obsessed Brazil is now hunting Lewison and DeBell. 1089 00:49:15,166 --> 00:49:16,458 -Okay. -Two thoughtless Americans... 1090 00:49:16,541 --> 00:49:17,916 Blah, blah, blah. 1091 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,083 Everybody in Brazil want to punish you. 1092 00:49:20,166 --> 00:49:22,000 Not while I'm still alive. 1093 00:49:22,083 --> 00:49:24,291 -See? -More champagne! 1094 00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:25,916 -You're the best, Curt. -Thank you. 1095 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,916 We're safe here with him. 1096 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,416 -Relax. Relax. -Yeah, we're fine. Champagne's the answer. 1097 00:49:31,166 --> 00:49:32,875 -Oh, hey. Hi. -Hi. 1098 00:49:33,666 --> 00:49:35,750 You're the Americano. 1099 00:49:35,833 --> 00:49:37,041 Yeah. 1100 00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:38,708 You like karaoke? 1101 00:49:39,416 --> 00:49:40,875 Okey dokey. 1102 00:49:40,958 --> 00:49:42,583 How about titties? 1103 00:49:42,666 --> 00:49:44,791 A little bitty. Are these trick questions? 1104 00:49:44,875 --> 00:49:46,625 (moaning) 1105 00:49:46,708 --> 00:49:48,583 (speaking Portuguese) 1106 00:49:48,666 --> 00:49:50,166 (laughing) 1107 00:49:53,041 --> 00:49:55,541 Will you sing me a song, gatinho? 1108 00:49:55,625 --> 00:49:58,708 Um, I don't know. I don't really... 1109 00:49:58,791 --> 00:50:00,041 Please. 1110 00:50:00,125 --> 00:50:01,791 -Well, no. -Entertain me. 1111 00:50:01,875 --> 00:50:04,208 -(laughs) I don't really sing karaoke. -Just, just one s-- one song. 1112 00:50:04,291 --> 00:50:05,416 I don't sing karaoke. 1113 00:50:05,500 --> 00:50:06,791 Sing me a fucking song, dude. 1114 00:50:06,875 --> 00:50:10,833 -("Somebody That I Used to Know" playing) -♪ But you didn't have to cut me off ♪ 1115 00:50:10,916 --> 00:50:14,833 ♪ make out like it never happened and that we were nothing ♪ 1116 00:50:14,916 --> 00:50:17,458 ♪ And I don't even need your love ♪ 1117 00:50:17,541 --> 00:50:21,375 ♪ Now you're just somebody that I used to know ♪ 1118 00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:24,458 ♪ ♪ 1119 00:50:29,375 --> 00:50:34,875 ♪ Now and then, I think of all the times you screwed me over ♪ 1120 00:50:36,416 --> 00:50:43,041 ♪ but had me believing it was always something that I'd done ♪ 1121 00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:48,000 ♪ And I don't wanna live that way ♪ 1122 00:50:48,083 --> 00:50:51,708 ♪ reading into every word you say ♪ 1123 00:50:51,791 --> 00:50:54,750 ♪ You said that you could let it go ♪ 1124 00:50:54,833 --> 00:50:59,166 ♪ and I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know ♪ 1125 00:50:59,250 --> 00:51:02,958 ♪ But you didn't have to cut me off ♪ 1126 00:51:03,041 --> 00:51:06,916 ♪ make out like it never happened and that we were nothing ♪ 1127 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,625 -♪ And I don't even need your love ♪ -(vocalizing) 1128 00:51:09,708 --> 00:51:12,666 ♪ Treat me like a stranger, and that feels so ♪♪ 1129 00:51:12,750 --> 00:51:14,250 -(song ends) -(cheering, whistling) 1130 00:51:14,333 --> 00:51:16,125 (Pavio) Bravo. So charming! 1131 00:51:16,208 --> 00:51:18,000 I love you two! 1132 00:51:18,083 --> 00:51:20,041 You are geniuses. 1133 00:51:20,125 --> 00:51:23,375 And now I want to reward you with anything you want 1134 00:51:23,458 --> 00:51:25,916 in the whole wide world, just name it. 1135 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,458 Can we go home? 1136 00:51:30,041 --> 00:51:31,375 Almost anything. 1137 00:51:31,458 --> 00:51:32,875 You can never leave here. 1138 00:51:33,625 --> 00:51:36,625 I mean, you've seen how Brazil reacts to you. 1139 00:51:36,708 --> 00:51:38,333 It's too risky. 1140 00:51:38,416 --> 00:51:40,791 Is there anything else? 1141 00:51:41,708 --> 00:51:42,958 I got something. 1142 00:51:43,041 --> 00:51:47,916 And we call it the Testicle Sent-- 1143 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:49,916 the Balls Up. 1144 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,500 Okay. Call it Balls Up. 1145 00:51:53,083 --> 00:51:54,291 Sorry. 1146 00:51:56,541 --> 00:51:59,375 Why'd nobody ever thought about this before? 1147 00:51:59,458 --> 00:52:02,458 You know, Elijah... 1148 00:52:03,583 --> 00:52:06,625 ...I never pictured myself in the condom business. 1149 00:52:06,708 --> 00:52:08,958 It's kind of a seedy industry. 1150 00:52:09,041 --> 00:52:12,000 I'd have to tell my mother I was... 1151 00:52:12,083 --> 00:52:13,458 dealing in meth, 1152 00:52:13,541 --> 00:52:15,958 but... (speaks Portuguese) 1153 00:52:17,333 --> 00:52:19,583 -That means I'm in. -You're in? 1154 00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:22,541 You're-- (laughing) 1155 00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:23,708 Hero ball. 1156 00:52:23,791 --> 00:52:25,666 (in Portuguese) It's about fucking time! 1157 00:52:25,750 --> 00:52:27,333 So much-needed protection 1158 00:52:27,416 --> 00:52:30,250 for my exposed testicles. 1159 00:52:30,333 --> 00:52:33,000 (in English) I couldn't care less about your testículos. 1160 00:52:33,083 --> 00:52:38,625 But imagine how much cocaína we can stuff into these condoms 1161 00:52:38,708 --> 00:52:40,875 that we can swallow and smuggle. 1162 00:52:40,958 --> 00:52:42,375 Wow, you'd kill. 1163 00:52:42,458 --> 00:52:46,583 I mean, these would be big cocaína sausages with meatballs. 1164 00:52:46,666 --> 00:52:48,625 This could transform the industry. 1165 00:52:48,708 --> 00:52:52,541 Let's just see if it's as durable as you say, okay? 1166 00:52:52,625 --> 00:52:56,041 (♪ Adanowsky sings "Vagabundos de Otro Mundo") 1167 00:52:56,125 --> 00:52:57,500 Quick question. 1168 00:52:57,583 --> 00:53:00,583 What if I have a really strong gag reflex? 1169 00:53:00,666 --> 00:53:06,583 Well, maybe I decide that this condom wasn't fit for such use 1170 00:53:06,666 --> 00:53:11,916 and that you have wasted mine and my family's time 1171 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:17,750 and that perhaps I should make a futebol out of your two cheeks. (blows sharply) 1172 00:53:17,833 --> 00:53:19,125 I appreciate your honesty. 1173 00:53:19,791 --> 00:53:21,333 (hushed) Just one gulp. 1174 00:53:21,416 --> 00:53:23,541 Mm, yeah, just swallow it whole. 1175 00:53:23,625 --> 00:53:26,291 Come on, you know I have the throat thing where it closes up. 1176 00:53:26,375 --> 00:53:28,500 Well, for God sakes, don't chew it. 1177 00:53:29,583 --> 00:53:31,125 (takes deep breath) 1178 00:53:34,250 --> 00:53:36,250 (Pavio) Beautiful. 1179 00:53:36,333 --> 00:53:37,625 Lovely technique. 1180 00:53:37,708 --> 00:53:40,083 Well, those exercises worked. 1181 00:53:40,166 --> 00:53:41,791 (gulping) 1182 00:53:43,250 --> 00:53:44,750 (exhales) 1183 00:53:45,791 --> 00:53:47,250 (gulping) 1184 00:53:47,333 --> 00:53:50,250 Guessing this isn't you guys' first rodeo, huh? 1185 00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:51,833 Get it down. 1186 00:53:55,708 --> 00:53:56,791 Mm. 1187 00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:58,666 (muffled) ♪ We built this city ♪ 1188 00:53:59,625 --> 00:54:02,291 ♪ We built this city on rock and roll ♪♪ 1189 00:54:02,375 --> 00:54:03,625 -(henchman) Is that... -(gags) 1190 00:54:03,708 --> 00:54:04,958 Jefferson Starship? 1191 00:54:05,041 --> 00:54:06,500 (gags, coughs) 1192 00:54:06,583 --> 00:54:08,125 Just Starship. 1193 00:54:08,208 --> 00:54:10,625 -They dropped the "Jefferson." -Did they? 1194 00:54:12,125 --> 00:54:15,708 Is there a problem? Do you want some, uh, Tabasco on it or something? 1195 00:54:15,791 --> 00:54:17,458 It's-it's too tasteless. 1196 00:54:17,541 --> 00:54:19,083 It's not the flavor so much. 1197 00:54:19,166 --> 00:54:24,125 It's more that it's a whole penis and balls full of cocaine 1198 00:54:24,208 --> 00:54:25,916 that could choke me to death. 1199 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,458 I fully understand. 1200 00:54:28,541 --> 00:54:29,750 (speaks indistinctly) 1201 00:54:31,250 --> 00:54:32,958 (sighs) 1202 00:54:33,041 --> 00:54:36,625 ("Vagabundos de Otro Mundo" continues with lyrics in Spanish) 1203 00:54:36,708 --> 00:54:39,083 (grunting) 1204 00:54:40,416 --> 00:54:41,375 (coughing) 1205 00:54:43,166 --> 00:54:44,625 ♪ ♪ 1206 00:54:46,166 --> 00:54:47,833 (Brad grunting) 1207 00:54:49,708 --> 00:54:50,958 (coughs) 1208 00:54:51,041 --> 00:54:52,541 (gags) 1209 00:54:57,833 --> 00:55:01,125 (muffled singing of "We Built This City") 1210 00:55:09,291 --> 00:55:11,541 (gulping, grunts) 1211 00:55:11,625 --> 00:55:12,750 (panting) I got it. 1212 00:55:12,833 --> 00:55:15,125 -Bravo! -(laughing) 1213 00:55:15,708 --> 00:55:17,458 -(Emilia) Yes! (laughs) -What? 1214 00:55:17,541 --> 00:55:19,166 (Brad laughing) 1215 00:55:19,250 --> 00:55:21,750 -Let's go back to the party, gatinho. -How'd you get it down? 1216 00:55:21,833 --> 00:55:24,041 -Hey, Brad, how'd you get it down? -(Emilia) Bye. 1217 00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:26,125 -It's easy, just suck it down. -Go back to the party. 1218 00:55:26,208 --> 00:55:27,666 (Pavio) Enjoy my cartel. 1219 00:55:27,750 --> 00:55:30,500 Those two... those two crazy kids. 1220 00:55:30,583 --> 00:55:32,291 Beautiful determination. 1221 00:55:32,375 --> 00:55:34,250 This sucks, man. 1222 00:55:40,583 --> 00:55:42,291 Time out. I'm sorry. 1223 00:55:42,875 --> 00:55:45,166 Is that Gisele? 1224 00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:48,416 What's, uh, what's the story on Gisele? 1225 00:55:48,500 --> 00:55:51,208 Is she another one of your conquests? 1226 00:55:52,208 --> 00:55:57,416 Why would I want to make a conquest of my sister? 1227 00:56:00,250 --> 00:56:02,125 Gisele i-- 1228 00:56:02,708 --> 00:56:04,625 She's your sister? 1229 00:56:04,708 --> 00:56:07,708 Pavio Curto Bundchen. 1230 00:56:07,791 --> 00:56:09,541 Gisele Bundchen. 1231 00:56:09,625 --> 00:56:12,750 -Wow. -At the family gatherings, 1232 00:56:12,833 --> 00:56:17,041 everyone would say that I was going to go and be the supermodel 1233 00:56:17,125 --> 00:56:20,250 and that she would be the cartel leader. 1234 00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:24,375 Our father said that one of us had to go to university 1235 00:56:24,458 --> 00:56:26,125 to study cocaine dealing. 1236 00:56:27,250 --> 00:56:28,625 Being the eldest... 1237 00:56:30,791 --> 00:56:32,333 ...I did the honorable thing. 1238 00:56:32,416 --> 00:56:36,750 I gave up my dream so that she could follow hers. 1239 00:56:37,750 --> 00:56:39,750 Sure, she did fine, 1240 00:56:39,833 --> 00:56:41,250 but I could've been better. 1241 00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:43,833 I could've brought the world together... 1242 00:56:45,416 --> 00:56:47,333 ...in desire for me. 1243 00:56:47,416 --> 00:56:49,833 But she always craved attention. 1244 00:56:49,916 --> 00:56:52,666 I mean, even today, she surrounds herself with yes-men. 1245 00:56:52,750 --> 00:56:54,500 -Isn't that right, men? -(others) Yes. 1246 00:56:55,916 --> 00:56:57,541 Hey, boss. 1247 00:56:57,625 --> 00:56:59,250 -Show him. -Yes. 1248 00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,791 No, no, no. 1249 00:57:00,875 --> 00:57:03,250 -Show him. -No, he doesn't want to see it. 1250 00:57:03,333 --> 00:57:04,416 Show him. 1251 00:57:04,500 --> 00:57:05,708 No, no, he's not interested. 1252 00:57:05,791 --> 00:57:08,416 I'm interested. This can wait. 1253 00:57:08,500 --> 00:57:10,041 He needs to see. 1254 00:57:10,125 --> 00:57:12,625 (Elijah) Please, Curt. 1255 00:57:14,375 --> 00:57:16,000 Dois minutos. Stay right there. 1256 00:57:16,083 --> 00:57:18,125 (others cheering, laughing) 1257 00:57:19,125 --> 00:57:20,750 (gentle music playing) 1258 00:57:22,416 --> 00:57:24,083 Actually not feeling too sexy. 1259 00:57:24,166 --> 00:57:25,916 Kind of bloated from that coke cock. 1260 00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,291 Mm, too bad. 1261 00:57:29,291 --> 00:57:33,958 I've always wanted to fuck the dick off an American. 1262 00:57:34,041 --> 00:57:36,416 Can we... can we stop just short of that? 1263 00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:38,041 Mm... 1264 00:57:38,125 --> 00:57:39,875 (♪ Ruxell and Repow play "Mão No Chão") 1265 00:57:39,958 --> 00:57:41,500 You st-still got it. 1266 00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:43,958 I could've been the greatest! 1267 00:57:44,041 --> 00:57:45,333 Yep. 1268 00:57:47,750 --> 00:57:50,375 You got three seconds to swallow. 1269 00:57:50,458 --> 00:57:52,166 When you put it like that. 1270 00:57:52,250 --> 00:57:54,000 ♪ ♪ 1271 00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,000 (grunting) 1272 00:58:04,375 --> 00:58:06,416 (gulps) 1273 00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:09,333 (laughing) 1274 00:58:09,416 --> 00:58:10,708 (grunts) 1275 00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:13,291 That's interesting-- balls first. 1276 00:58:13,375 --> 00:58:14,583 I wouldn't have expected that. 1277 00:58:14,666 --> 00:58:19,083 I figured if you get the balls down first, then everything else will follow. 1278 00:58:19,166 --> 00:58:20,708 To Balls Up! 1279 00:58:20,791 --> 00:58:23,208 -(others) Balls Up! -(laughter) 1280 00:58:23,291 --> 00:58:25,458 (♪ Tim Maia sings "Do Leme ao Pontal") 1281 00:58:27,291 --> 00:58:29,416 Elijah, a question. 1282 00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:31,375 I can see the resemblance now. 1283 00:58:31,458 --> 00:58:33,041 At least in the hair, right? 1284 00:58:33,125 --> 00:58:34,166 Have you seen your friend? 1285 00:58:35,041 --> 00:58:37,583 Brad? No. Uh, he went off with some... 1286 00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:40,833 That woman he left with? Emilia? 1287 00:58:40,916 --> 00:58:42,166 Yeah. 1288 00:58:42,250 --> 00:58:44,041 That's Pavio Curto's wife. 1289 00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:46,125 (muffled snorting) That's his wife? 1290 00:58:46,208 --> 00:58:48,416 See, my boss, he has had a lot of sex. 1291 00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:50,000 Like, a lot. 1292 00:58:50,083 --> 00:58:52,125 So much sex, it no longer get exciting for him. 1293 00:58:52,208 --> 00:58:55,208 So, in order to get him going, 1294 00:58:55,291 --> 00:58:57,375 Emilia, she find another man, 1295 00:58:57,458 --> 00:58:58,791 -seduces him... -Yeah. 1296 00:58:58,875 --> 00:59:00,916 -...then Pavio Curto catches her... -(Elijah) Oh. 1297 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,416 ...gets all mad, and... 1298 00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:04,500 those two go have sex while we torture the other man to death 1299 00:59:04,583 --> 00:59:06,291 using a broken cachaça bottle up the ass. 1300 00:59:07,583 --> 00:59:08,916 It-it's a whole thing. 1301 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,125 It's, uh, it's a whole thing. 1302 00:59:11,208 --> 00:59:13,375 I-- Guys, give me one minute. 1303 00:59:13,458 --> 00:59:15,416 -(Brad) Toys? -Oh, you're gonna love this, Brad. 1304 00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:16,958 -I don't know about that. -(Elijah) Brad, hey. 1305 00:59:17,041 --> 00:59:18,041 (Brad) Oh, hey, Lij. 1306 00:59:18,125 --> 00:59:20,125 Give me a Balls Up from the bottomless fanny pack of yours. 1307 00:59:20,208 --> 00:59:23,791 I need you to get off the bed, get the woman off of you right now. 1308 00:59:23,875 --> 00:59:25,833 -Emilia! -(Emilia screaming) 1309 00:59:25,916 --> 00:59:27,458 (shouting in Portuguese) 1310 00:59:27,541 --> 00:59:29,541 Is this Americano taking advantage of you? 1311 00:59:29,625 --> 00:59:31,708 Yes. Yes, he was. 1312 00:59:31,791 --> 00:59:33,416 (Brad) What? No, no, quite the contrary. 1313 00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:34,958 She was trying to fuck my dick off. 1314 00:59:35,041 --> 00:59:37,125 Brad, Brad, Brad. 1315 00:59:38,708 --> 00:59:40,583 We all know what happens now. 1316 00:59:40,666 --> 00:59:42,416 Actually, I don't. 1317 00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:44,250 Uh, you do? 1318 00:59:44,333 --> 00:59:46,666 What the...? (grunts in pain) 1319 00:59:48,125 --> 00:59:50,416 This is, this is just a misunderstanding. 1320 00:59:50,500 --> 00:59:52,625 I got confused when you said enjoy the cartel. 1321 00:59:52,708 --> 00:59:54,041 I-I thought you meant her. 1322 00:59:54,125 --> 00:59:56,875 What, you thought I meant to take the woman who's married to me 1323 00:59:56,958 --> 00:59:59,833 and try and put your pinto in her... (speaks gibberish)? 1324 00:59:59,916 --> 01:00:01,791 Well, I-I didn't know you guys were married. 1325 01:00:01,875 --> 01:00:03,791 -I mean, she's, uh, she's very friendly. -Yeah-- 1326 01:00:03,875 --> 01:00:05,166 Yeah, she is very friendly. 1327 01:00:05,250 --> 01:00:07,375 That's our nature. That's Brazil. 1328 01:00:07,458 --> 01:00:11,125 Her ex-husband is not even decomposed in the mass gravy. 1329 01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:13,083 My dear husband, 1330 01:00:13,166 --> 01:00:15,125 how will you avenge my honor? 1331 01:00:15,208 --> 01:00:16,458 (sighs, mutters) 1332 01:00:16,541 --> 01:00:18,416 I was thinking a little bit of murder. 1333 01:00:19,041 --> 01:00:21,416 Are you as turned on as I am? 1334 01:00:21,500 --> 01:00:23,500 (speaking gibberish in Portuguese accent) 1335 01:00:25,208 --> 01:00:26,666 -(breathing heavily) -(Elijah) Wait a minute. 1336 01:00:26,750 --> 01:00:29,083 Time out. I thought we were all friends here. 1337 01:00:29,166 --> 01:00:31,666 Davi, Benicio, you're just not gonna say anything? 1338 01:00:31,750 --> 01:00:34,500 No, you're not my friend, you piece of shit. 1339 01:00:34,583 --> 01:00:37,125 I grew up in a futebol-loving family. 1340 01:00:37,208 --> 01:00:38,458 (laughing) I'm sorry. 1341 01:00:38,541 --> 01:00:41,166 Seriously, for the thousandth time, 1342 01:00:41,250 --> 01:00:44,166 it's only a game! 1343 01:00:44,250 --> 01:00:46,750 Yeah, one you're about to lose. Kill them. 1344 01:00:47,708 --> 01:00:51,000 Okay, fuck-boy, prepare to die. 1345 01:00:51,083 --> 01:00:52,708 -It's time for analismo. -(tense music playing) 1346 01:00:54,166 --> 01:00:56,250 Gentlemen, please put him in position. 1347 01:00:57,291 --> 01:00:58,958 -(gunshot) -(Brad gasps) 1348 01:00:59,041 --> 01:01:01,208 (shocked exclaiming) 1349 01:01:01,291 --> 01:01:02,791 (shouting in Portuguese) 1350 01:01:02,875 --> 01:01:04,125 (automatic gunfire) 1351 01:01:04,208 --> 01:01:05,708 (shouting) 1352 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:08,333 (cries out) 1353 01:01:08,416 --> 01:01:09,541 (grunting) 1354 01:01:09,625 --> 01:01:11,375 -(gunfire continues) -(panicked screaming) 1355 01:01:13,708 --> 01:01:15,791 (gunfire continues) 1356 01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:18,500 What? 1357 01:01:18,583 --> 01:01:23,166 (weakly) It must have been the rival Cardosa cartel. 1358 01:01:23,250 --> 01:01:28,125 They will not stop until they kill everyone. 1359 01:01:28,208 --> 01:01:32,875 Please, shoot them in the dicks for me. 1360 01:01:32,958 --> 01:01:35,416 All right, we'll-we'll... we'll do our absolute best. 1361 01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:37,125 Kiss me. 1362 01:01:37,208 --> 01:01:38,916 Huh? 1363 01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,583 Kiss me. 1364 01:01:41,333 --> 01:01:42,708 What? 1365 01:01:43,333 --> 01:01:45,000 No, no, no, no. 1366 01:01:45,083 --> 01:01:47,333 Don't you dare let go. 1367 01:01:47,416 --> 01:01:50,083 Don't you die on us, Curt. Stay here. 1368 01:01:50,166 --> 01:01:51,791 Right here! Right here! 1369 01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:53,750 (gunfire continues) 1370 01:01:53,833 --> 01:01:55,125 I don't know why I said that. 1371 01:01:55,208 --> 01:01:57,000 This is the best thing that could've happened to us. 1372 01:01:57,083 --> 01:01:59,375 Yeah, we need to get the fuck out of here. Now. Come on. 1373 01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:01,083 (♪ The Fortunes sing "Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again") 1374 01:02:01,166 --> 01:02:02,916 (Brad) Okay. 1375 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:04,666 (Elijah grunts) 1376 01:02:04,750 --> 01:02:06,791 -♪ Here comes that rainy day ♪ -(gunfire continues) 1377 01:02:06,875 --> 01:02:09,375 -♪ feeling again ♪ -(henchman grunts) 1378 01:02:10,375 --> 01:02:12,000 (gunfire continues) 1379 01:02:12,083 --> 01:02:13,208 (panicked screaming) 1380 01:02:13,291 --> 01:02:17,166 ♪ And soon my tears they will be falling like rain ♪ 1381 01:02:18,166 --> 01:02:20,666 (Elijah grunting, yelling) 1382 01:02:20,750 --> 01:02:24,000 ♪ It always seems to be a Monday ♪ 1383 01:02:24,083 --> 01:02:25,083 (screaming) 1384 01:02:25,166 --> 01:02:27,333 ♪ Leftover memories of Sunday... 1385 01:02:27,416 --> 01:02:29,625 -Oh, fuck. -Come on. Come on. 1386 01:02:29,708 --> 01:02:31,458 Careful you don't fall into the mass grave. 1387 01:02:31,541 --> 01:02:34,000 ♪ Before the clouds appeared ♪ 1388 01:02:34,083 --> 01:02:36,666 ♪ and took away my sunshine ♪ 1389 01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:40,666 ♪ Here comes that rainy day feeling again ♪ 1390 01:02:40,750 --> 01:02:42,125 ♪ ♪ 1391 01:02:42,208 --> 01:02:44,291 I think they just called our group. 1392 01:02:44,375 --> 01:02:48,625 ♪ And I'll be dreaming of you, baby, in vain ♪ 1393 01:02:48,708 --> 01:02:51,875 ♪ Bah-bah, bah-bah ♪ 1394 01:02:51,958 --> 01:02:53,458 Come on. 1395 01:02:53,541 --> 01:02:56,541 ♪ It always seems to be a Monday ♪ 1396 01:02:56,625 --> 01:02:59,916 -♪ Leftover memories of Sunday ♪ -Oh, fuck. God. 1397 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:01,000 ♪ always spent... 1398 01:03:01,083 --> 01:03:02,083 Oh, my God. 1399 01:03:02,666 --> 01:03:04,916 There's got to be a hundred million dollars' worth of cocaine in this truck. 1400 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,666 Yeah, about five mil in our stomachs. 1401 01:03:07,750 --> 01:03:09,833 Right now, intestines. You're not feeling that? 1402 01:03:09,916 --> 01:03:11,250 -(automatic gunfire) -Oh, no. 1403 01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:13,375 (in Portuguese) Come on! Let's go! 1404 01:03:13,458 --> 01:03:15,416 (Emilia and henchmen shouting) 1405 01:03:17,291 --> 01:03:18,583 -(tires squealing) -(bullets ricocheting) 1406 01:03:18,666 --> 01:03:20,041 (Elijah in English) Oh, my God. 1407 01:03:20,125 --> 01:03:22,375 I'm inhaling coke. 1408 01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:24,833 (crying) I've never done a drug in my life. 1409 01:03:27,916 --> 01:03:29,333 (henchman in Portuguese) Murphy's Law. 1410 01:03:29,416 --> 01:03:31,625 He finally lets us invite a few bikini girls 1411 01:03:31,708 --> 01:03:33,250 to a party and-- 1412 01:03:34,250 --> 01:03:35,958 Hey, is your stomach hurting? 1413 01:03:36,041 --> 01:03:37,625 It's probably that artichoke dip. 1414 01:03:37,708 --> 01:03:40,375 No. Wait. The cocaine! 1415 01:03:40,458 --> 01:03:41,583 The cocaine! 1416 01:03:41,666 --> 01:03:42,875 Holy shit. 1417 01:03:42,958 --> 01:03:45,333 Not only do you have a dick inside you, 1418 01:03:45,416 --> 01:03:47,125 but two ballbags too. 1419 01:03:47,208 --> 01:03:49,333 All thanks to those Americans. 1420 01:03:49,416 --> 01:03:52,250 (in English) What are they saying? What the fuck's going on? 1421 01:03:52,333 --> 01:03:53,333 -Okay, wait. -(beeps) 1422 01:03:53,416 --> 01:03:54,416 (Emilia speaking Portuguese) 1423 01:03:54,500 --> 01:03:56,166 (Larry David) My husband let down his guard, 1424 01:03:56,250 --> 01:03:59,166 and now he's dead, thanks to those dumb motherfuckers. 1425 01:03:59,250 --> 01:04:00,500 (henchman speaking Portuguese) 1426 01:04:00,583 --> 01:04:03,000 (Larry David) I'd like to chop them into little pieces 1427 01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:06,000 and eat them like peanuts all the way to Paraguay. 1428 01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:07,916 (in Portuguese) The tall one, "Brad"? 1429 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,000 (in English) What an empty suit. 1430 01:04:10,083 --> 01:04:13,708 (in Portuguese) He thought he actually had a chance with me. 1431 01:04:13,791 --> 01:04:15,500 (Larry David in English) Zero chemistry. 1432 01:04:15,583 --> 01:04:17,125 It was like being motorboated 1433 01:04:17,208 --> 01:04:18,541 -by your brother. -What? 1434 01:04:18,625 --> 01:04:20,291 (in Portuguese) He got lucky. 1435 01:04:20,375 --> 01:04:22,541 (Larry David in English) Two more minutes, he'd have been tortured to death 1436 01:04:22,625 --> 01:04:25,000 with a broken bottle in his shithole. 1437 01:04:25,083 --> 01:04:26,333 Ah, Elijah... 1438 01:04:26,416 --> 01:04:28,416 (in Portuguese) He has such small-dick energy. 1439 01:04:28,500 --> 01:04:31,041 -(laughing) -So neurotic. 1440 01:04:31,125 --> 01:04:32,750 (Larry David chuckles, in English) Actually, I, uh, 1441 01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:34,375 I really, I shouldn't make fun. 1442 01:04:34,458 --> 01:04:35,791 OCD is sad. 1443 01:04:35,875 --> 01:04:37,333 Let's-- We can stop. 1444 01:04:37,416 --> 01:04:38,916 -Give me this. Are you fucking-- -Why are you...? 1445 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,583 -(grunts) -(clattering) 1446 01:04:40,666 --> 01:04:41,750 (speaking Portuguese) 1447 01:04:41,833 --> 01:04:43,000 (Larry David) What the hell was that? 1448 01:04:43,083 --> 01:04:44,458 (speaking Portuguese) 1449 01:04:47,041 --> 01:04:48,500 (loud crashing) 1450 01:04:50,458 --> 01:04:52,500 -(steam hissing) -(Elijah groaning) 1451 01:04:54,666 --> 01:04:56,000 (Brad) You all right? 1452 01:04:56,083 --> 01:04:58,791 (Elijah straining) I got... I got the wind knocked out of me. 1453 01:04:58,875 --> 01:05:00,375 -(Brad groans) -(Elijah) Are you okay? 1454 01:05:00,458 --> 01:05:01,791 (Brad) Yeah. Yeah. 1455 01:05:01,875 --> 01:05:04,333 (Elijah) Shit, I can't find my phone. 1456 01:05:04,416 --> 01:05:05,625 (Brad) Oh, I got it. 1457 01:05:05,708 --> 01:05:08,250 -I got it in the thing. -(Elijah) What? Oh, God. 1458 01:05:08,333 --> 01:05:09,583 Thank you. 1459 01:05:09,666 --> 01:05:11,416 (Elijah groaning) 1460 01:05:12,791 --> 01:05:14,250 (Brad coughing) 1461 01:05:16,708 --> 01:05:19,500 (Brad grunts) Oh, God. 1462 01:05:19,583 --> 01:05:21,250 (Brad breathing heavily) 1463 01:05:21,333 --> 01:05:23,666 -Shit. -Wow, that hurt. 1464 01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:26,291 -(Elijah groaning) -Be quiet. 1465 01:05:27,291 --> 01:05:29,291 You know what? 1466 01:05:29,375 --> 01:05:30,750 I actually feel pretty good. 1467 01:05:30,833 --> 01:05:32,208 That's the coke. 1468 01:05:36,666 --> 01:05:38,500 (Elijah) Oh. 1469 01:05:39,208 --> 01:05:40,416 (Brad) Oh, my God. 1470 01:05:41,416 --> 01:05:43,708 Should we say a prayer? 1471 01:05:43,791 --> 01:05:45,583 For who? 1472 01:05:45,666 --> 01:05:48,458 For the horny killers who tried to kill us and are still gonna get us killed 1473 01:05:48,541 --> 01:05:50,791 -if we wait here for the other killers? -Oh, right. 1474 01:05:50,875 --> 01:05:52,333 I'll say something for them later. 1475 01:05:54,500 --> 01:05:56,458 All right, come on. Let's get going. 1476 01:05:56,541 --> 01:05:57,875 (Elijah sighs) 1477 01:05:57,958 --> 01:05:59,000 (Brad groans) 1478 01:05:59,083 --> 01:06:01,000 -What the fuck? Ow, shit. -What? 1479 01:06:01,083 --> 01:06:03,000 -My-my leg is fucked up. -No, no, no. 1480 01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:05,458 Come on, we got to go, man. We're in the middle of the jungle. 1481 01:06:05,541 --> 01:06:07,500 -Holy shit. -What? 1482 01:06:07,583 --> 01:06:08,958 Uh... 1483 01:06:09,041 --> 01:06:10,708 Nothing. Just don't look down. 1484 01:06:10,791 --> 01:06:12,791 -Now all I want to do is look down. -I know, but don't-- 1485 01:06:12,875 --> 01:06:14,750 Oh, my God, my knee. 1486 01:06:14,833 --> 01:06:16,666 You know what my grandmother says in a moment like this? 1487 01:06:16,750 --> 01:06:18,541 Just fix my knee before the booger sugar wears off. 1488 01:06:18,625 --> 01:06:19,875 -Please. -Yeah, you're right. 1489 01:06:19,958 --> 01:06:21,166 Sorry. 1490 01:06:21,250 --> 01:06:25,041 Hey, before I do this, I just want to say... 1491 01:06:25,125 --> 01:06:27,208 Brad... 1492 01:06:27,291 --> 01:06:28,291 I love you, man. 1493 01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:29,625 Yeah, that's just the fucking coke talking. 1494 01:06:29,708 --> 01:06:30,875 I love you, too. Now get the knee. 1495 01:06:30,958 --> 01:06:32,625 -Fucking what the fuck? -You just say that because you're high? 1496 01:06:32,708 --> 01:06:34,875 -'Cause I'm not just saying it. -The knee. 1497 01:06:34,958 --> 01:06:36,458 All right, the knee. 1498 01:06:36,541 --> 01:06:37,958 -Y'all ready for this? -It's the other one. 1499 01:06:38,041 --> 01:06:40,208 Oh. Absolutely. 1500 01:06:40,291 --> 01:06:41,833 Is it lefty loosey, righty tighty? 1501 01:06:41,916 --> 01:06:44,791 -I don't think it works like-- Oh, my God! -(cracking) 1502 01:06:44,875 --> 01:06:46,458 Oh, shit. Oh, my God. 1503 01:06:46,541 --> 01:06:48,250 I fixed that shit. 1504 01:06:49,500 --> 01:06:50,708 Tudo bem. 1505 01:06:50,791 --> 01:06:53,000 -Eh, tudo bem. Tudo bem. -Oh, my God. 1506 01:06:53,083 --> 01:06:55,583 -Oh, you fixed my knee. -(giggles, growls playfully) 1507 01:06:55,666 --> 01:06:56,916 -Thank you. Thank you. -(zipper opening) 1508 01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,208 So... 1509 01:06:58,291 --> 01:06:59,875 Love you, too. 1510 01:07:01,291 --> 01:07:02,791 What? 1511 01:07:02,875 --> 01:07:05,125 (laughs) I know what this looks like. 1512 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,583 Okay, now, careful. Just see if it... works. 1513 01:07:09,666 --> 01:07:10,875 Yeah. 1514 01:07:10,958 --> 01:07:12,458 -You all right? -Oh. 1515 01:07:12,541 --> 01:07:14,833 -It's genius. -Oh! 1516 01:07:14,916 --> 01:07:16,458 Good. I'm glad. 1517 01:07:16,541 --> 01:07:18,458 Now, to get us out of the jungle... 1518 01:07:18,541 --> 01:07:20,291 No bars. Okay, so no GPS. 1519 01:07:20,375 --> 01:07:24,875 But we do know that they were driving west to Paraguay. 1520 01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:26,208 The sun rises in the east, so-- 1521 01:07:26,291 --> 01:07:27,541 No, I think it's backwards below the equator. 1522 01:07:27,625 --> 01:07:28,875 No, you couldn't be more wrong. 1523 01:07:28,958 --> 01:07:32,750 So what we have to do is we need to walk with our backs toward the morning light... 1524 01:07:32,833 --> 01:07:35,291 and then run until we get to Paraguay. 1525 01:07:35,375 --> 01:07:36,666 Okay. All right. 1526 01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:39,833 (to the tune of "Celebration") ♪ Paraguay good times, come on ♪ 1527 01:07:39,916 --> 01:07:41,500 (scatting) 1528 01:07:41,583 --> 01:07:43,875 ♪ It's a Paraguaytion ♪♪ 1529 01:07:45,458 --> 01:07:47,750 (Brad grunts) You think we're making good progress? 1530 01:07:47,833 --> 01:07:49,708 No. No, I don't. 1531 01:07:49,791 --> 01:07:52,583 And without bricks of cocaine, 1532 01:07:52,666 --> 01:07:54,541 -I'm starting to realize... -Don't say it. 1533 01:07:54,625 --> 01:07:57,500 -...we are super fucked. -I said don't! 1534 01:07:58,250 --> 01:08:00,083 That's crazy to think about. 1535 01:08:00,166 --> 01:08:01,791 It's ironic, you know. 1536 01:08:01,875 --> 01:08:05,458 I used to fear that the rainforest was gonna be chopped down. 1537 01:08:05,541 --> 01:08:08,333 Now I'm starting to think they didn't chop it down fast enough. 1538 01:08:08,416 --> 01:08:09,708 You know what? 1539 01:08:09,791 --> 01:08:13,250 I remember you ruining a lunch or two with that bullshit rainforest thing. 1540 01:08:13,333 --> 01:08:15,833 Am I spoiling your good time, Brad? 1541 01:08:15,916 --> 01:08:18,582 No, no, you know what? I used to think Steve was the fun police. 1542 01:08:18,666 --> 01:08:20,291 But it's not. It's you. 1543 01:08:20,375 --> 01:08:22,041 It's been you the whole time. 1544 01:08:22,125 --> 01:08:25,457 Dude, when people laugh, they're not laughing with you. 1545 01:08:25,541 --> 01:08:27,250 They're laughing at you. 1546 01:08:27,832 --> 01:08:31,291 Did it ever occur to you that "from Sales" might be a pejorative? 1547 01:08:31,375 --> 01:08:32,625 (laughs quietly) 1548 01:08:32,707 --> 01:08:34,582 You know what? Maybe they do laugh at me, 1549 01:08:34,666 --> 01:08:36,332 but they roll their eyes at you. 1550 01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:38,666 All your "No one's up to my standards," "I arrived early," 1551 01:08:38,750 --> 01:08:40,582 "I left late," "I wiped down the microwave," 1552 01:08:40,666 --> 01:08:41,916 "I kissed everybody's ass." 1553 01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:43,875 How'd that work out for you, huh? 1554 01:08:43,957 --> 01:08:46,791 So all that nice stuff you said back there, that was just, what? 1555 01:08:46,875 --> 01:08:49,875 I told you, that was cocaine. Okay? 1556 01:08:49,957 --> 01:08:52,041 And speaking of which... 1557 01:08:52,125 --> 01:08:54,125 we're gonna need some more yeyo if we want to survive. 1558 01:08:54,207 --> 01:08:55,916 No, I'm not doing more blow. 1559 01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,791 Really? So where are we gonna get the energy we need to get out of here? 1560 01:08:58,875 --> 01:09:01,207 -(snorting) -Just nor-- Don't snort me! 1561 01:09:01,291 --> 01:09:04,291 You want energy? Just use normal, real-life energy. 1562 01:09:04,375 --> 01:09:05,957 Normal energy is gonna run out. 1563 01:09:06,041 --> 01:09:09,041 I mean, unless you got, like, what, a leg of lamb you're not telling me about, 1564 01:09:09,125 --> 01:09:10,750 we're gonna need some blow, okay? 1565 01:09:10,832 --> 01:09:12,332 -(stomach grumbling) -(pained groaning) 1566 01:09:12,416 --> 01:09:14,375 I think I know where we can get some. 1567 01:09:15,207 --> 01:09:17,082 Oh. Oh, no. 1568 01:09:17,166 --> 01:09:18,957 Mm-hmm. 1569 01:09:19,041 --> 01:09:21,457 Yeah, do me a favor. Just take it over there, would you? 1570 01:09:21,541 --> 01:09:22,875 Yeah, no problem. 1571 01:09:22,957 --> 01:09:24,541 -And, Brad? -What? 1572 01:09:24,625 --> 01:09:27,750 What we're about to do, we never speak of. 1573 01:09:27,832 --> 01:09:30,000 Relax. We're just taking a dump, okay? 1574 01:09:30,082 --> 01:09:31,375 I may need your help. 1575 01:09:31,457 --> 01:09:34,000 -Yeah, that goes to the grave. -(♪ Lloyd Cole sings "Brazil") 1576 01:09:34,082 --> 01:09:39,082 ♪ I hear they have the good drugs in Brazil... 1577 01:09:39,166 --> 01:09:40,916 I don't think I can do it. 1578 01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:43,375 (Brad) Me, either. 1579 01:09:43,457 --> 01:09:45,457 Though they did come out sparkling clean. 1580 01:09:45,541 --> 01:09:48,250 (snorts) That's actually by design. 1581 01:09:48,332 --> 01:09:51,207 Yeah, the, uh, patented latex blend we use, 1582 01:09:51,291 --> 01:09:54,750 it deflects any kind of contaminant, especially fecal matter. 1583 01:09:54,833 --> 01:09:57,041 You really are good with shit. 1584 01:09:57,125 --> 01:09:58,916 Yeah. 1585 01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,583 Me and my shit. 1586 01:10:02,833 --> 01:10:06,250 People, that's another story. 1587 01:10:06,333 --> 01:10:08,166 Well, at least you care about people. 1588 01:10:09,166 --> 01:10:11,083 That's more than I can say about me. 1589 01:10:13,458 --> 01:10:19,791 I don't feel like I have ever fully fit in with any group of people anywhere. 1590 01:10:19,875 --> 01:10:21,833 That's what I admire about you. 1591 01:10:21,916 --> 01:10:23,250 You don't try to fit in. 1592 01:10:23,333 --> 01:10:24,833 I mean, you're hated and you're fine with it. 1593 01:10:24,916 --> 01:10:27,041 -I'm not hated. -Yeah, you are. 1594 01:10:27,666 --> 01:10:29,500 Look, it's a compliment. 1595 01:10:30,083 --> 01:10:32,541 It means you have a strong ego, you're just you. 1596 01:10:32,625 --> 01:10:36,375 Me, I'm all fucking smiles and backslaps. 1597 01:10:36,458 --> 01:10:38,333 Fucking golf tan with a social security card. 1598 01:10:38,416 --> 01:10:39,750 Yeah, Brad from Sales. 1599 01:10:39,833 --> 01:10:41,875 They'll put that on my gravestone. 1600 01:10:43,750 --> 01:10:47,291 For the record, you are very good at what you do. 1601 01:10:48,708 --> 01:10:51,333 Also, I don't think we're gonna get gravestones. 1602 01:10:52,833 --> 01:10:55,583 (low rumbling growl) 1603 01:10:55,666 --> 01:10:57,375 (both) Holy shit! 1604 01:10:57,458 --> 01:10:59,708 (growling) 1605 01:11:07,208 --> 01:11:09,041 He just ate both of the coke condoms. 1606 01:11:09,125 --> 01:11:11,958 Thank God there wasn't poop on them. He'd be sick as a dog. 1607 01:11:12,041 --> 01:11:14,458 Oh, fuck me, did you not see Cocaine Bear? 1608 01:11:14,541 --> 01:11:17,083 I don't want to see a crocodile gacked out of its gourd on Brazilian blow. 1609 01:11:17,166 --> 01:11:19,333 I think it's an alligator. 1610 01:11:19,416 --> 01:11:20,916 Does it really matter when it's about to eat us? 1611 01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,375 -Right, right. -(growls) 1612 01:11:22,458 --> 01:11:24,083 Oh, shit, it's gonna charge us. 1613 01:11:24,166 --> 01:11:26,541 -(hissing growl) -(Brad and Elijah whimpering) 1614 01:11:26,625 --> 01:11:27,875 (groaning) 1615 01:11:27,958 --> 01:11:29,875 (Brad and Elijah panting, whimpering) 1616 01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:34,625 (squelching) 1617 01:11:35,708 --> 01:11:37,500 Did it... did it die? 1618 01:11:38,250 --> 01:11:40,541 I-I think I heard its heart explode. 1619 01:11:41,125 --> 01:11:42,875 Yes. Yes! 1620 01:11:42,958 --> 01:11:45,666 Yes, yes, its fucking heart exploded. 1621 01:11:45,750 --> 01:11:47,625 -Oh, my God. -(laughing) 1622 01:11:47,708 --> 01:11:48,833 (yells happily) 1623 01:11:48,916 --> 01:11:50,875 Hey, you ever have croco tacos? 1624 01:11:50,958 --> 01:11:53,083 (Elijah) Don't you mean gator taters? 1625 01:11:53,166 --> 01:11:55,333 I'm pretty sure it's an alligator. 1626 01:11:55,416 --> 01:11:57,333 -(Brad) Gator tacos. -(upbeat music playing) 1627 01:11:57,416 --> 01:11:59,916 Pretty good. Like muscly chicken. 1628 01:12:01,750 --> 01:12:04,083 Hey, do you think in the gator world, 1629 01:12:04,166 --> 01:12:05,791 he might've had a name? 1630 01:12:05,875 --> 01:12:08,875 In the gator world? What the fuck is wrong with you? 1631 01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:11,000 What? Animals do communicate. 1632 01:12:11,083 --> 01:12:12,541 Maybe they give each other names. 1633 01:12:12,625 --> 01:12:14,791 Oh, I feel horrible now. We just ate Lenny. 1634 01:12:14,875 --> 01:12:16,750 (animal calling) 1635 01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:18,958 Shh. (snaps fingers) Hey. Hey, stop. 1636 01:12:19,041 --> 01:12:20,250 I think I heard something. 1637 01:12:20,333 --> 01:12:21,583 Oh, my God. 1638 01:12:21,666 --> 01:12:23,750 Maybe Lenny's friends are calling out for vengeance. 1639 01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:25,375 -Shut up. -(chuckling) 1640 01:12:25,458 --> 01:12:27,250 You know, there are tribes out here 1641 01:12:27,333 --> 01:12:30,166 who have never even made contact with actual human beings. 1642 01:12:30,250 --> 01:12:33,333 No, Pavio Curto chased them away for shitting on the floor. 1643 01:12:33,416 --> 01:12:35,458 I doubt Curt caught all of them. 1644 01:12:35,541 --> 01:12:37,375 -There's a good cha-- -(animal bellows) 1645 01:12:37,458 --> 01:12:40,000 Okay, tell me you heard that. 1646 01:12:40,083 --> 01:12:41,250 That was you. 1647 01:12:41,333 --> 01:12:42,875 -(Elijah) No, it wasn't me. -(Brad) What? 1648 01:12:42,958 --> 01:12:45,833 Stay where you are! What do you guys think you're doing? 1649 01:12:45,916 --> 01:12:46,833 Oh, my God. 1650 01:12:48,458 --> 01:12:50,416 -Are you Americans? -Formerly. 1651 01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:52,750 We're nationless eco-fundamentalists now. 1652 01:12:52,833 --> 01:12:55,208 -Oh, that's cool. We can work with that. -Yeah. 1653 01:12:55,291 --> 01:12:56,875 We're here to stop the poaching trade. 1654 01:12:56,958 --> 01:12:59,166 -You're not poachers, are you? -(Brad) Poachers? Oh, God, no. 1655 01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:00,291 I mean, dressed like this? 1656 01:13:00,375 --> 01:13:02,333 I-I won't even eat poached egg. It's disgusting. 1657 01:13:02,416 --> 01:13:05,250 Although I will say that that is the healthiest way to eat an egg. 1658 01:13:05,333 --> 01:13:08,208 You cook an egg poached, I mean, you lower the cholesterol oxidation. 1659 01:13:08,291 --> 01:13:11,458 Facts. Erewhon makes their poachies on a paleo yam tartine. 1660 01:13:11,541 --> 01:13:13,333 -It's delicious. -I love Erewhon. 1661 01:13:13,416 --> 01:13:15,041 You ever have their Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch? 1662 01:13:15,125 --> 01:13:16,500 -No. -They look kind of fucked-up, 1663 01:13:16,583 --> 01:13:19,583 but then you take a bite and you're like, "Give these motherfuckers an award." 1664 01:13:20,166 --> 01:13:22,166 So what are you guys doing out here? 1665 01:13:22,250 --> 01:13:23,833 -(chuckling) -That's a funny story. 1666 01:13:23,916 --> 01:13:25,875 Can I tell-- No, no, no, go ahead. Tell it, tell it, tell it. 1667 01:13:25,958 --> 01:13:28,125 We were being used as drug mules by a dangerous cartel. 1668 01:13:28,208 --> 01:13:29,916 -We didn't know. -And then we escaped into the jungle. 1669 01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,750 Okay, this freaking narco guy's wife 1670 01:13:32,833 --> 01:13:34,625 starts crawling all over him, takes him upstairs. 1671 01:13:34,708 --> 01:13:35,916 -She wants to fuck him. -Yeah. 1672 01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:38,375 (Brad) But it ended up being a weird kink where the narco guy wanted to watch me 1673 01:13:38,458 --> 01:13:41,166 fuck his wife, and then he tried to torture and kill me 1674 01:13:41,250 --> 01:13:42,916 -with a broken bottle up my ass. -(laughing) It was... 1675 01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:44,166 It was a whole thing. 1676 01:13:44,250 --> 01:13:46,166 So, did you do it? 1677 01:13:46,250 --> 01:13:47,666 -Do...? -Oh, well, I couldn't, 1678 01:13:47,750 --> 01:13:50,375 'cause I had just gotten done, uh, swallowing a giant condom. 1679 01:13:50,458 --> 01:13:52,708 Same. Also, no one wanted to fuck me. 1680 01:13:54,250 --> 01:13:56,041 By the way, Brad from Sales. 1681 01:13:56,125 --> 01:13:57,666 Julie. 1682 01:13:57,750 --> 01:13:59,041 Patchouli Julie. 1683 01:13:59,125 --> 01:14:00,583 Okay, come on now. 1684 01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:02,166 Condoms. 1685 01:14:03,083 --> 01:14:05,375 Holy fuck. I know who these guys are. 1686 01:14:05,458 --> 01:14:07,541 Os Estúpidos. 1687 01:14:07,625 --> 01:14:11,833 Oh, um... are you guys soccer fans? 1688 01:14:11,916 --> 01:14:15,041 What you guys did was incredible. 1689 01:14:15,125 --> 01:14:17,458 Activism at its finest. 1690 01:14:17,541 --> 01:14:18,708 -Disruption. -(laughs) 1691 01:14:18,791 --> 01:14:20,583 -Okay. -That's what we're all about, too. 1692 01:14:20,666 --> 01:14:22,375 -You guys are heroes. -Yes. 1693 01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:24,708 Nelson Mandela, Che Guevara. 1694 01:14:25,333 --> 01:14:26,625 -Hero ball. -Hero ball. 1695 01:14:26,708 --> 01:14:27,958 -(laughing) -I told you. 1696 01:14:28,041 --> 01:14:30,416 (PJ) Their stupid little soccer game. 1697 01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:32,500 They think it's so important. 1698 01:14:32,583 --> 01:14:33,750 Life or death. 1699 01:14:33,833 --> 01:14:36,000 It's like, no, that's bullshit, man. 1700 01:14:36,083 --> 01:14:38,541 Yeah, I mean, we've been saying that the whole time. Down with big soccer. 1701 01:14:38,625 --> 01:14:40,875 The real life or death is happening right here 1702 01:14:40,958 --> 01:14:42,458 -in this rainforest. -Mm-hmm. 1703 01:14:42,541 --> 01:14:45,125 (Aaron) The capitalists are doing everything they can to destroy this place 1704 01:14:45,208 --> 01:14:48,750 with no consideration for its indigenous people or beautiful wildlife. 1705 01:14:48,833 --> 01:14:51,875 Speaking of, this is... ♪ Yarimoey ♪♪ 1706 01:14:51,958 --> 01:14:54,208 He's a local shaman who's blessed our mission here. 1707 01:14:54,291 --> 01:14:56,333 A pleasure to meet you, Yarimoey. 1708 01:14:56,416 --> 01:14:57,625 (PJ) No! 1709 01:14:57,708 --> 01:14:59,833 -It's... ♪ Yarimoey ♪♪ -Oh. 1710 01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:01,333 You have to really kind of sing it. 1711 01:15:01,416 --> 01:15:05,083 Uh, pleasure to meet you... ♪ Yarimoey ♪♪ 1712 01:15:05,583 --> 01:15:08,125 -(mystical music playing) -Yeah. 1713 01:15:08,958 --> 01:15:12,791 So, uh, you know, um, I'm a bit of an environmentalist myself. 1714 01:15:12,875 --> 01:15:14,208 Yeah? 1715 01:15:14,291 --> 01:15:16,208 I always recycle my Nespresso pods. 1716 01:15:16,291 --> 01:15:18,416 Make sure they don't end up in a landfill. 1717 01:15:18,500 --> 01:15:19,958 How do you recycle them? 1718 01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:22,375 I usually, I just throw them in the blue bin, 1719 01:15:22,458 --> 01:15:24,791 and then, you know, the good folks down at recycling finish the job, 1720 01:15:24,875 --> 01:15:26,333 completing the circle of life. 1721 01:15:26,416 --> 01:15:29,333 Look, I know it's not quite the same level as what you guys are doing, 1722 01:15:29,416 --> 01:15:31,416 or maybe it is in some way. 1723 01:15:31,500 --> 01:15:33,291 -So, what do you do? -Oh, not much. 1724 01:15:33,375 --> 01:15:35,500 I mean, I'm just a guy who invented the condom that covers the testicles. 1725 01:15:35,583 --> 01:15:37,125 It's probably gonna change the world. 1726 01:15:37,208 --> 01:15:40,083 Well, we know this guy won't be a customer. 1727 01:15:40,166 --> 01:15:41,875 (laughing) 1728 01:15:41,958 --> 01:15:44,291 -Why would you...? Why...? -He's got those innie balls. 1729 01:15:44,375 --> 01:15:46,791 They, like, disappear up into their ball cave. 1730 01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:48,125 -(shaking sound) -Yeah. 1731 01:15:48,208 --> 01:15:51,208 Uh, undescended testicles, it's called, but they-they still work. 1732 01:15:51,291 --> 01:15:52,791 -You just can't see them. -Aw. 1733 01:15:52,875 --> 01:15:55,500 Sometimes he's got to dig them out like little earthquake victims. (laughing) 1734 01:15:55,583 --> 01:15:57,458 Okay, well, this guy's got a huge cock. 1735 01:15:57,541 --> 01:15:59,250 It's just ridiculous. 1736 01:15:59,333 --> 01:16:01,666 I'm fine with that info getting out. 1737 01:16:01,750 --> 01:16:04,833 Well, let's hang tonight, guys. 1738 01:16:04,916 --> 01:16:07,500 We'll party, dance, fuck, sing. 1739 01:16:07,583 --> 01:16:08,750 -Okay. -Yeah? 1740 01:16:08,833 --> 01:16:09,875 -Fuck? -(chuckling) Yeah. 1741 01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:12,791 No, nah, that-that sounds very, uh, fun, 1742 01:16:12,875 --> 01:16:16,416 sounds great, but we-we... I think we need to get going. 1743 01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:19,041 First thing tomorrow, we'll take you guys downriver on our raft. 1744 01:16:19,125 --> 01:16:21,291 It's loaded with juices and a bunch of food. 1745 01:16:21,375 --> 01:16:22,625 That sounds so great. Thank you. 1746 01:16:22,708 --> 01:16:24,208 -And when we get to the ocean... -Come on. 1747 01:16:24,291 --> 01:16:26,333 ...there are plenty of ships that will smuggle you guys home. 1748 01:16:26,416 --> 01:16:28,166 And we'll get you on a good smuggle-ship, 1749 01:16:28,250 --> 01:16:30,458 not the ones that are all human-traffick-y. 1750 01:16:30,541 --> 01:16:32,958 (Yarimoey in Spanish) Be careful. 1751 01:16:33,041 --> 01:16:35,666 Never pee in the water. 1752 01:16:35,750 --> 01:16:39,416 That's where the tiny, terrible vampire fish lives. 1753 01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:41,666 It swims up the urine stream, 1754 01:16:41,750 --> 01:16:43,416 gets into your bladder, 1755 01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:45,208 and eats you from the inside. 1756 01:16:45,291 --> 01:16:48,083 (in English) Yeah, I didn't, I didn't get any of that. I'm sorry. 1757 01:16:48,166 --> 01:16:49,291 What's he saying? 1758 01:16:49,375 --> 01:16:51,458 Not sure. 1759 01:16:51,541 --> 01:16:54,375 We have yet to master Yarimoey's tongue. 1760 01:16:54,458 --> 01:16:55,458 ♪ Yarimoey ♪♪ 1761 01:16:55,541 --> 01:16:57,666 This is so cool. I mean, this is awesome. 1762 01:16:57,750 --> 01:17:00,208 He's probably the last person on Earth to speak this language. 1763 01:17:00,291 --> 01:17:02,583 (in Spanish) This tiny fish 1764 01:17:02,666 --> 01:17:05,250 has killed many large men. 1765 01:17:06,458 --> 01:17:08,541 -(in English) It's gibberish. -Yeah. 1766 01:17:08,625 --> 01:17:11,250 (♪ Quicksilver Messenger Service plays "Fresh Air") 1767 01:17:15,125 --> 01:17:17,166 (happy chattering, laughter) 1768 01:17:18,541 --> 01:17:21,500 Who the hell would've thought we'd stumble into a Phish concert? 1769 01:17:21,583 --> 01:17:23,250 I mean, these guys are cool as shit. 1770 01:17:23,333 --> 01:17:25,541 -Want some wasca? -Um... 1771 01:17:25,625 --> 01:17:27,250 -Oh, that sounds interesting. -(quietly) No. 1772 01:17:27,333 --> 01:17:29,250 -Uh, no, no. No ayahuasca. -(PJ) I get it. 1773 01:17:29,333 --> 01:17:30,916 We're a little wasca'd out around here, too. 1774 01:17:31,833 --> 01:17:33,208 -Hey. (clears throat) -(frog chirping) 1775 01:17:33,291 --> 01:17:34,541 -(Elijah gulps) -You partake? 1776 01:17:34,625 --> 01:17:36,291 Uh... no, thanks. 1777 01:17:36,375 --> 01:17:38,208 He's a, he's a germaphobe. 1778 01:17:38,291 --> 01:17:40,041 (Ed) Freshie. 1779 01:17:40,125 --> 01:17:41,583 (Aaron) Huh? 1780 01:17:41,666 --> 01:17:43,083 (yawning) Give him a freshie. 1781 01:17:43,166 --> 01:17:44,375 (Aaron mumbling) 1782 01:17:44,458 --> 01:17:45,833 That's Ed. He's our frog guy. 1783 01:17:45,916 --> 01:17:47,875 Hey, Ed. That's what you do, you're the frog guy? 1784 01:17:47,958 --> 01:17:49,166 Yeah, how did you get into 1785 01:17:49,250 --> 01:17:50,833 -that line of work? -That's cool. 1786 01:17:50,916 --> 01:17:53,250 -(frog chirping) -Just, uh, catching... 1787 01:17:53,333 --> 01:17:54,916 You start... 1788 01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:57,416 You start catching frogs. 1789 01:17:57,500 --> 01:17:59,125 -That's cool. -(Aaron) Yeah. 1790 01:17:59,208 --> 01:18:01,291 I guess I was thinking more of the science behind it. 1791 01:18:01,375 --> 01:18:03,791 You know, the dosage and, uh, 1792 01:18:03,875 --> 01:18:06,583 -chemical interactions, toxicity levels. -(frog chirping) 1793 01:18:06,666 --> 01:18:08,333 Hey, I got to go make a call. 1794 01:18:08,416 --> 01:18:10,333 -What? -I'll be back. 1795 01:18:11,416 --> 01:18:12,500 Oh. 1796 01:18:12,583 --> 01:18:15,000 ("Fresh Air" continues playing quietly in distance) 1797 01:18:15,083 --> 01:18:16,541 (Elijah) Brad. 1798 01:18:16,625 --> 01:18:18,416 Hey, Brad. 1799 01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:19,791 What? 1800 01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:22,166 -Where are you going? -What do you mean, where am I going? 1801 01:18:22,250 --> 01:18:24,416 I'm about to give a little product demo to Patchouli Julie. 1802 01:18:24,500 --> 01:18:26,916 Why don't you go try to get with Trustafarian Tina over there? 1803 01:18:27,416 --> 01:18:29,291 -(laughter) -♪ ♪ 1804 01:18:29,375 --> 01:18:32,625 You mean the one whose armpits look like the floor of an Armenian barbershop? 1805 01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:34,958 -Yeah, her. -Yeah, no, thanks. 1806 01:18:35,041 --> 01:18:36,375 Armpit hair is natural. 1807 01:18:36,458 --> 01:18:38,750 Nature's the most natural thing out here. Come on. 1808 01:18:39,500 --> 01:18:40,500 Just give me three minutes. 1809 01:18:40,583 --> 01:18:43,500 You have some kind of fuckup amnesia or something, huh? 1810 01:18:43,583 --> 01:18:45,208 Do you remember what happened the last time you did this? 1811 01:18:45,291 --> 01:18:47,125 You almost had a broken bottle shoved up your ass. 1812 01:18:47,208 --> 01:18:49,125 Yeah, that's 'cause you pitched your condom to a drug lord. 1813 01:18:49,208 --> 01:18:50,875 Okay, Curt liked the product. 1814 01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:52,041 (Julie) Hey. 1815 01:18:52,125 --> 01:18:53,375 Oh, are you coming, too? 1816 01:18:53,458 --> 01:18:54,916 -(feigns laughing) -(Julie laughs) Yeah. 1817 01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:56,833 So there's a perfect lovemaking spot. 1818 01:18:56,916 --> 01:18:58,625 It's right up here. 1819 01:18:59,166 --> 01:19:01,625 Have you seen the bottoms of her feet? 1820 01:19:01,708 --> 01:19:03,500 They look like burnt baked potatoes. 1821 01:19:03,583 --> 01:19:05,166 I'm not fucking her feet. 1822 01:19:05,250 --> 01:19:07,166 Well, I mean, I might, but let's-let's just see where the night goes. 1823 01:19:07,250 --> 01:19:08,583 Come on. Live a little. 1824 01:19:08,666 --> 01:19:10,375 -(sighs) -(Julie) Guys. 1825 01:19:10,458 --> 01:19:12,666 -Brad... Okay. -(Julie) Come on, check this out. 1826 01:19:13,833 --> 01:19:15,833 (birds chirping) 1827 01:19:17,791 --> 01:19:19,458 This the lovemaking spot? 1828 01:19:19,541 --> 01:19:20,666 -Yeah. -Oh. 1829 01:19:20,750 --> 01:19:22,708 Also where we keep the poachers we catch. 1830 01:19:22,791 --> 01:19:23,833 What the fuck?! 1831 01:19:23,916 --> 01:19:25,916 -(tense music plays) -(flies buzzing) 1832 01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,541 (Julie) We hang them there as a warning to others. 1833 01:19:28,625 --> 01:19:29,958 Right on. 1834 01:19:31,708 --> 01:19:35,125 What, um, did they do to-- the poaching with? 1835 01:19:35,208 --> 01:19:37,458 How'd they-- Why are they dead? 1836 01:19:37,541 --> 01:19:40,083 Black caimans, mostly. 1837 01:19:40,791 --> 01:19:42,083 Black caimans? 1838 01:19:42,166 --> 01:19:44,000 Yeah, they're kind of like alligators. 1839 01:19:44,875 --> 01:19:46,333 -(hushed) Told you. -You said alligator, 1840 01:19:46,416 --> 01:19:47,875 -not alligator-adjacent. -Okay. 1841 01:19:47,958 --> 01:19:51,041 They're beautiful, majestic reptiles. 1842 01:19:51,125 --> 01:19:52,500 Highly endangered. 1843 01:19:52,583 --> 01:19:54,791 And these poachers are killing them for their claws. 1844 01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:56,958 Wait, so you-you... you guys kill the poachers? 1845 01:19:57,041 --> 01:19:58,166 Yeah, we had to. 1846 01:19:58,250 --> 01:20:00,291 We tried the peaceful path, but it never worked, 1847 01:20:00,375 --> 01:20:02,875 so now it's an eye for an eye. 1848 01:20:02,958 --> 01:20:06,000 You kill one of the animals we came here to protect, we kill you. 1849 01:20:06,083 --> 01:20:08,291 That simple. Nobody gets to negotiate. 1850 01:20:08,375 --> 01:20:10,250 Eh, nobody? 1851 01:20:10,333 --> 01:20:11,666 What if you're the Pope or...? 1852 01:20:11,750 --> 01:20:14,208 Nobody! You could be Greta fucking Thunberg, 1853 01:20:14,291 --> 01:20:17,625 but if you kill one of these animals, you are dead! Dead! 1854 01:20:20,666 --> 01:20:22,458 Now let's get our fuck on. 1855 01:20:23,041 --> 01:20:24,333 Um... 1856 01:20:24,416 --> 01:20:25,666 -with them watching? -(flies buzzing) 1857 01:20:25,750 --> 01:20:29,500 Oh, I know, but in some ways, it's kind of like we're honoring them, 1858 01:20:29,583 --> 01:20:30,833 and them us. 1859 01:20:30,916 --> 01:20:33,125 By letting them dead-watch us fuck? 1860 01:20:33,208 --> 01:20:36,041 Yeah, I call them the Dead Poachers Society. (laughs) 1861 01:20:36,125 --> 01:20:38,583 Sorry, speaking of watching, 1862 01:20:38,666 --> 01:20:40,625 is that a camera? The little...? 1863 01:20:40,708 --> 01:20:41,833 (Julie) Oh, yeah. 1864 01:20:41,916 --> 01:20:44,291 Yeah, we have cameras all over the jungle. 1865 01:20:44,375 --> 01:20:46,416 Oh, but nobody's watching us right now. 1866 01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:48,541 They're reviewing today's footage for poachers 1867 01:20:48,625 --> 01:20:52,166 because we lost a signal on one of our favorite caimans, Morey. 1868 01:20:52,250 --> 01:20:54,500 So he had a name. 1869 01:20:55,833 --> 01:20:57,833 Uh, would you excuse us for a second? 1870 01:20:57,916 --> 01:20:58,916 Where are you going? 1871 01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:00,958 I'm just gonna go put on a condom. 1872 01:21:01,041 --> 01:21:02,500 I can put it on for you. 1873 01:21:02,583 --> 01:21:05,125 Oh, well, the... the thing is, this is really hard 1874 01:21:05,208 --> 01:21:06,750 'cause you got to put the nuts in and everything. 1875 01:21:06,833 --> 01:21:08,333 -He'll give me a hand. -No, no, it's not hard. 1876 01:21:08,416 --> 01:21:09,833 They slip right in. 1877 01:21:09,916 --> 01:21:11,583 I'm shy. 1878 01:21:11,666 --> 01:21:14,125 Then just say that. Don't besmirch the product. 1879 01:21:14,208 --> 01:21:15,458 We'll be right back. 1880 01:21:15,541 --> 01:21:16,916 -All right. -All right. 1881 01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:21,125 You have any run left in those legs? 1882 01:21:21,208 --> 01:21:23,041 I'd fucking better. Come on, come on. 1883 01:21:23,125 --> 01:21:25,291 (♪ Chicano Batman sings "Freedom Is Free") 1884 01:21:25,375 --> 01:21:27,125 -God! -Oh, no, no, no. 1885 01:21:27,208 --> 01:21:29,166 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1886 01:21:29,250 --> 01:21:30,750 (Brad) Oh, my God. 1887 01:21:30,833 --> 01:21:32,875 This claw is delicious. You got to try this. 1888 01:21:32,958 --> 01:21:34,708 Come on. 1889 01:21:34,791 --> 01:21:36,208 Damn it, Janet! 1890 01:21:36,291 --> 01:21:37,708 -(Elijah) No, that's... -(Brad) The claw's the best part. 1891 01:21:37,791 --> 01:21:39,250 (Elijah) The claw's the best part. Let me high-five that. 1892 01:21:39,333 --> 01:21:42,666 Fuck! Julie's gonna make us go kill them now. 1893 01:21:42,750 --> 01:21:44,125 Yoip. 1894 01:21:44,208 --> 01:21:45,833 -"Yoip"?! -Well... 1895 01:21:45,916 --> 01:21:48,500 "Yoip"? That's all you got to fucking say is "yoip"? 1896 01:21:48,583 --> 01:21:50,750 I'm losing my mind out here, man. 1897 01:21:50,833 --> 01:21:54,833 Dude, I came here to protect the jungle, do ayahuasca and fuck Julie, 1898 01:21:54,916 --> 01:21:57,416 -not murder poachers! -Yeah, me, too, man. 1899 01:21:57,500 --> 01:21:59,791 -She doesn't even bone us. -This sucks, man. 1900 01:21:59,875 --> 01:22:01,791 She's literally boning everyone but us. 1901 01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:03,375 Okay, not everyone. 1902 01:22:03,458 --> 01:22:05,333 Everyone. 1903 01:22:05,916 --> 01:22:07,458 ♪ Yarimoey? ♪♪ 1904 01:22:07,541 --> 01:22:09,666 Yep, Yarimoey. 1905 01:22:09,750 --> 01:22:11,583 He is like a hundred years old! 1906 01:22:11,666 --> 01:22:13,583 What the fuck is she thinking? 1907 01:22:13,666 --> 01:22:16,875 Dude, I know, and she told me he has a split penis. 1908 01:22:16,958 --> 01:22:18,541 What does that mean? 1909 01:22:18,625 --> 01:22:20,750 Like he split it himself or it's that old? 1910 01:22:20,833 --> 01:22:22,541 God, what happened to her, man? 1911 01:22:22,625 --> 01:22:24,625 She was super dope back in Calabasas. 1912 01:22:24,708 --> 01:22:27,416 Now she's fucking split-cocks and killing poachers? 1913 01:22:27,500 --> 01:22:30,333 Hey, have you guys seen those two dudes? We were just about to smash, 1914 01:22:30,416 --> 01:22:31,833 -and then they-- -(Elijah mumbling over video) 1915 01:22:31,916 --> 01:22:33,750 (Brad) I would never steer you wrong when it comes to food. 1916 01:22:33,833 --> 01:22:35,500 -(PJ) Mm-hmm. -What the fuck? 1917 01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:36,833 -(PJ) Yoop. -(Brad) You know what also? 1918 01:22:36,916 --> 01:22:38,416 -What? -It's a great back scratcher. 1919 01:22:38,500 --> 01:22:39,791 Let me try, let me try. 1920 01:22:39,875 --> 01:22:41,250 Look at that. Oh. 1921 01:22:41,333 --> 01:22:43,000 -I can comb your hair. -(mumbling, laughing) 1922 01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:44,250 (Elijah) Let me, let me, let me do it. 1923 01:22:44,333 --> 01:22:46,625 -Were you going to tell me about this? -(Aaron) Yeah, of course. 1924 01:22:46,708 --> 01:22:48,125 -Yeah. -We were just about to go 1925 01:22:48,208 --> 01:22:50,416 -kill those fuckers. -They are fucking dead. 1926 01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:52,166 (PJ) They are fucking dead men, Julie! 1927 01:22:52,250 --> 01:22:54,250 -You said it right! You said it right! -Right. 1928 01:22:54,333 --> 01:22:55,500 (video continues indistinctly) 1929 01:22:55,583 --> 01:22:57,583 (upbeat dramatic music playing) 1930 01:23:00,291 --> 01:23:02,250 A raft. There's a raft. 1931 01:23:02,333 --> 01:23:03,625 Come on. 1932 01:23:05,916 --> 01:23:07,958 ♪ ♪ 1933 01:23:11,416 --> 01:23:12,625 Push. 1934 01:23:12,708 --> 01:23:14,250 Go, go, go, go! 1935 01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:23,291 Kill them! 1936 01:23:29,541 --> 01:23:31,416 -(bullets ricocheting) -Shit. 1937 01:23:32,541 --> 01:23:33,791 What the fuck? 1938 01:23:36,750 --> 01:23:38,041 We got to start paddling 1939 01:23:38,125 --> 01:23:40,666 or we're gonna be strung up, dead-watching her fuck! 1940 01:23:42,333 --> 01:23:44,666 (bullets ricocheting) 1941 01:23:44,750 --> 01:23:47,833 We're gonna string you up, you bastards! 1942 01:23:49,833 --> 01:23:51,750 (Julie) Keep firing! 1943 01:23:51,833 --> 01:23:53,958 Oh! (screams in frustration) 1944 01:23:54,041 --> 01:23:55,125 (grunts) 1945 01:23:55,208 --> 01:23:57,166 -Ow. -You ball-less fucking idiots. 1946 01:23:57,250 --> 01:23:58,500 You let them escape. 1947 01:23:58,583 --> 01:24:00,166 You wonder why I won't fuck you? 1948 01:24:00,250 --> 01:24:02,250 -We weren't wondering that. -The fuck you weren't. 1949 01:24:02,333 --> 01:24:04,791 We heard you in the hut. Everybody heard you. 1950 01:24:04,875 --> 01:24:06,208 Okay, we were wondering that. 1951 01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:08,125 Fuck's sake. Come on, Yarimoey. 1952 01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:09,458 ♪ Yarimoey ♪♪ 1953 01:24:09,541 --> 01:24:11,208 Shut the fuck up. 1954 01:24:11,291 --> 01:24:13,416 I got to fuck this rage out of my body. 1955 01:24:13,500 --> 01:24:15,083 Ooh. 1956 01:24:15,166 --> 01:24:17,791 -(♪ Mitski sings "Heaven") -(birds chirping) 1957 01:24:24,250 --> 01:24:26,250 ♪ All of our love ♪ 1958 01:24:26,333 --> 01:24:28,375 Yeah, still no bars. 1959 01:24:28,458 --> 01:24:32,208 ♪ filling all of our room, your low warm voice... 1960 01:24:32,291 --> 01:24:34,625 I'm gonna be different. 1961 01:24:34,708 --> 01:24:36,750 -If we ever make it out of here alive. -Stop it. 1962 01:24:36,833 --> 01:24:38,375 I'm serious. 1963 01:24:38,458 --> 01:24:39,916 I'm not messing around. 1964 01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:42,791 You watch, I'm gonna add a little steak to my sizzle. 1965 01:24:46,583 --> 01:24:49,833 Maybe I'll add a little sizzle to my steak. 1966 01:24:52,250 --> 01:24:54,125 Hey, Brad? 1967 01:24:55,625 --> 01:24:57,625 We're going to die out here, aren't we? 1968 01:24:57,708 --> 01:25:00,041 Oh, a hundred percent. 1969 01:25:00,125 --> 01:25:02,125 It's a fucking fact. 1970 01:25:02,208 --> 01:25:04,125 (both laughing) 1971 01:25:07,875 --> 01:25:10,791 -(crying) -Oh. 1972 01:25:12,583 --> 01:25:15,416 (song fades) 1973 01:25:19,750 --> 01:25:22,583 (Elijah) These condoms actually make pretty good pillows, huh? 1974 01:25:24,250 --> 01:25:26,500 Courtesy buffet. 1975 01:25:26,583 --> 01:25:29,000 You want some more coconut water? 1976 01:25:29,083 --> 01:25:31,375 Nah, I'm good. Actually, I got to pee. 1977 01:25:31,458 --> 01:25:32,583 (exhales) 1978 01:25:32,666 --> 01:25:34,791 (grunting, groaning) 1979 01:25:36,583 --> 01:25:37,875 (whistles softly) 1980 01:25:38,958 --> 01:25:40,375 (sighs loudly) 1981 01:25:40,458 --> 01:25:42,041 -(opening zipper) -Ooh. 1982 01:25:42,125 --> 01:25:44,291 (suspenseful music playing) 1983 01:25:45,916 --> 01:25:47,583 What's wrong? 1984 01:25:47,666 --> 01:25:49,583 Stage fright. 1985 01:25:49,666 --> 01:25:51,750 Can you just, uh, turn the other way? 1986 01:25:51,833 --> 01:25:54,083 You have your back to me. How do you know I'm looking? 1987 01:25:54,166 --> 01:25:55,958 I can feel you staring. 1988 01:25:58,166 --> 01:26:00,083 Actually, you know what? 1989 01:26:01,166 --> 01:26:05,041 We should probably save our pee. 1990 01:26:05,125 --> 01:26:06,541 In case we run out of water, 1991 01:26:06,625 --> 01:26:08,291 -we don't want to die of thirst. -(urinating) 1992 01:26:08,375 --> 01:26:10,333 What are you talking about? You can't drink your piss. 1993 01:26:10,416 --> 01:26:14,041 I don't want your piss sloshing around the raft, so just dump it out. 1994 01:26:14,125 --> 01:26:16,458 You know, urine is completely sterile. 1995 01:26:16,541 --> 01:26:18,833 I don't care. Dump it out. It's nasty. 1996 01:26:18,916 --> 01:26:20,416 (closes zipper) 1997 01:26:20,500 --> 01:26:21,791 (sighs) Okay. 1998 01:26:24,875 --> 01:26:26,166 Oh, dude. 1999 01:26:26,250 --> 01:26:28,041 Look at these minnows. They're drinking my pee. 2000 01:26:28,125 --> 01:26:29,500 What? 2001 01:26:29,583 --> 01:26:31,125 (Elijah laughing) 2002 01:26:31,208 --> 01:26:32,375 Look at this. 2003 01:26:33,875 --> 01:26:35,500 (Brad) Holy shit. 2004 01:26:35,583 --> 01:26:37,083 Little piss fish. 2005 01:26:37,166 --> 01:26:38,500 -(laughing) -Dumb bastards. 2006 01:26:38,583 --> 01:26:40,250 (Elijah) Oh, it's like they're smiling. 2007 01:26:40,333 --> 01:26:41,625 Oh, wait a minute. 2008 01:26:41,708 --> 01:26:44,625 I read about these things in National Geographic. 2009 01:26:44,708 --> 01:26:46,708 Holy shit, 2010 01:26:46,791 --> 01:26:48,708 did I just dodge a bullet. 2011 01:26:48,791 --> 01:26:50,625 -Hmm? -(splashing) 2012 01:26:51,208 --> 01:26:52,416 (screaming) 2013 01:26:52,500 --> 01:26:53,583 (thuds) 2014 01:26:53,666 --> 01:26:55,875 (whimpering) Pull it out. Pull it out. 2015 01:26:55,958 --> 01:26:57,916 You pull it out. It's your penis. 2016 01:26:58,000 --> 01:26:59,041 Oh, God, I can't. 2017 01:26:59,125 --> 01:27:01,041 I got to squeeze with both hands, or it's going upstream. 2018 01:27:01,125 --> 01:27:02,875 This thing is really determined. 2019 01:27:02,958 --> 01:27:05,125 Please, please, get it. 2020 01:27:05,208 --> 01:27:06,750 Oh, God. 2021 01:27:06,833 --> 01:27:08,041 Please, please, please, please. 2022 01:27:08,125 --> 01:27:09,791 You got to get it. Get it. Get it. 2023 01:27:09,875 --> 01:27:12,166 Yeah, okay, okay, okay. Don't move, don't move. 2024 01:27:12,250 --> 01:27:14,791 -(Brad whimpering) -(Elijah groaning) 2025 01:27:14,875 --> 01:27:17,125 -It's too slippery. I can't get a grip. -(groaning) 2026 01:27:17,208 --> 01:27:20,166 Maybe if you get hard, you could, like, strangle it. 2027 01:27:20,250 --> 01:27:22,958 What? How am I supposed to get hard? I got a fish in my dick! 2028 01:27:23,041 --> 01:27:24,625 Uh, use your imagination. 2029 01:27:24,708 --> 01:27:26,208 Wh-What's your biggest fantasy? 2030 01:27:26,291 --> 01:27:28,375 Right now it's not having a fish in my dick! 2031 01:27:28,458 --> 01:27:31,958 Okay, yelling has never inspired anybody 2032 01:27:32,041 --> 01:27:34,291 to get a fish out of their friend's dick. 2033 01:27:34,375 --> 01:27:36,208 -Use your teeth. -Use my...? 2034 01:27:36,291 --> 01:27:37,500 Use your teeth. 2035 01:27:37,583 --> 01:27:38,833 -Oh, go on. -No. 2036 01:27:38,916 --> 01:27:40,291 Get the fucking thing now! 2037 01:27:40,375 --> 01:27:41,500 You use your teeth! 2038 01:27:41,583 --> 01:27:43,750 How? How? How? Tell me. 2039 01:27:43,833 --> 01:27:46,375 Uh, stretch your dick out and lean forward. 2040 01:27:46,458 --> 01:27:48,541 Don't you think if I could reach my mouth to my dick, 2041 01:27:48,625 --> 01:27:50,000 I would know that by now? 2042 01:27:50,666 --> 01:27:52,166 (crying) Please, Lij, I'm begging you. 2043 01:27:52,250 --> 01:27:55,000 You're my only hope. I need you to be a man right now! 2044 01:27:55,083 --> 01:27:58,541 (panting) Elijah, please, please, I'm begging you. I'm begging you. 2045 01:27:58,625 --> 01:28:00,416 (crying) Oh, God. 2046 01:28:00,500 --> 01:28:02,458 -(Brad whimpering) -(Elijah grunts) 2047 01:28:02,541 --> 01:28:05,583 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 2048 01:28:05,666 --> 01:28:07,250 -Oh, yeah. Oh... -Stop saying "yeah." 2049 01:28:07,333 --> 01:28:08,333 Sorry. 2050 01:28:08,416 --> 01:28:09,958 -(Elijah grunting) -(Brad) Oh. 2051 01:28:10,041 --> 01:28:11,375 Oh, God. 2052 01:28:12,541 --> 01:28:13,916 (panting) Oh, oh. 2053 01:28:14,000 --> 01:28:16,500 (gagging) 2054 01:28:18,416 --> 01:28:20,250 Don't touch me. 2055 01:28:20,333 --> 01:28:23,041 -We never speak-- -Speak of this again. 2056 01:28:23,125 --> 01:28:25,000 Right back at you, sailor boy. 2057 01:28:25,083 --> 01:28:27,083 -Oh, God. -(Brad breathing heavily) 2058 01:28:28,500 --> 01:28:32,375 I just... I just need to be alone for a minute. 2059 01:28:33,458 --> 01:28:35,333 (Elijah sighs heavily) 2060 01:28:35,416 --> 01:28:37,416 (beeping) 2061 01:28:40,791 --> 01:28:42,791 (intriguing music playing) 2062 01:28:45,750 --> 01:28:47,666 (in Portuguese) We have located the targets. 2063 01:28:50,208 --> 01:28:52,083 ♪ ♪ 2064 01:28:56,708 --> 01:28:58,708 -(music fades) -(engine rumbling) 2065 01:29:00,250 --> 01:29:01,500 (water splashes) 2066 01:29:05,416 --> 01:29:08,250 (in English) Boat! Boat! 2067 01:29:08,333 --> 01:29:10,125 Brad! Brad! 2068 01:29:10,208 --> 01:29:12,375 Boat, boat. Get up. Boat. 2069 01:29:12,458 --> 01:29:13,833 Hey! 2070 01:29:13,916 --> 01:29:15,291 -Oh, shit. -(screeching) Hey! 2071 01:29:15,375 --> 01:29:16,750 -Hey! Hey! -Hey! 2072 01:29:16,833 --> 01:29:18,833 -Hey, we're saved. Hey! -(laughing) Hey! 2073 01:29:18,916 --> 01:29:20,875 -(Brad) Hey. Hey. -(Elijah) Whoo! 2074 01:29:20,958 --> 01:29:22,666 -(Elijah) Over here! -(Brad) We're alive! 2075 01:29:22,750 --> 01:29:24,875 -Hey! -(laughing) 2076 01:29:24,958 --> 01:29:27,583 (Elijah screeching happily) 2077 01:29:27,666 --> 01:29:29,750 Jesus Christ. It's Jessel Cristo. 2078 01:29:29,833 --> 01:29:31,791 Fuck! 2079 01:29:31,875 --> 01:29:34,416 Start paddling. Start paddling! 2080 01:29:34,500 --> 01:29:36,166 (Brad) Out of the way. 2081 01:29:36,250 --> 01:29:37,875 (Elijah) Paddle. 2082 01:29:37,958 --> 01:29:39,750 (dramatic music playing) 2083 01:29:41,583 --> 01:29:43,208 -(Brad) Oh, my God. -(Elijah) Come on! 2084 01:29:43,291 --> 01:29:44,583 (Brad) What the...? 2085 01:29:56,541 --> 01:29:58,291 (Cristos) Estúpidos, indeed. 2086 01:29:58,375 --> 01:29:59,708 Get in the boat. 2087 01:29:59,791 --> 01:30:03,083 What, to give us one of those free-to-go bullshit speeches? 2088 01:30:03,166 --> 01:30:05,416 You know, I'm not one to use the Lord's name in vain, 2089 01:30:05,500 --> 01:30:07,541 but fuck you, Jessel Cristo. 2090 01:30:07,625 --> 01:30:09,333 Do you have any idea where you are? 2091 01:30:09,416 --> 01:30:13,666 (imitating Cristos' accent) Oh, my greatest fear is injustice 2092 01:30:13,750 --> 01:30:16,750 visited upon undeserving peoples. 2093 01:30:16,833 --> 01:30:19,291 Particularly on my watch. 2094 01:30:19,375 --> 01:30:23,333 No unjust thing will happens to you. 2095 01:30:25,041 --> 01:30:28,208 (normal accent) That... Was the accent a-a little racist? 2096 01:30:29,291 --> 01:30:31,416 -Right on the line. -(Elijah) Sorry. 2097 01:30:31,500 --> 01:30:33,083 I'm exploring the sizzle. 2098 01:30:33,166 --> 01:30:36,000 Okay, here's what's going to happen. 2099 01:30:36,083 --> 01:30:38,041 You are coming back with me, 2100 01:30:38,125 --> 01:30:39,750 you are going to be found guilty 2101 01:30:39,833 --> 01:30:43,041 of shattering the dreams of half a billion people, 2102 01:30:43,125 --> 01:30:46,541 you are going to go to prison and do hard labor for a year, 2103 01:30:46,625 --> 01:30:49,333 and then, if you live through this, 2104 01:30:49,416 --> 01:30:51,291 you will be free to go home. 2105 01:30:51,375 --> 01:30:53,250 No. Nope. 2106 01:30:53,333 --> 01:30:55,833 No, here's what's gonna happen, El General. 2107 01:30:55,916 --> 01:31:00,833 You are going to paddle your puny green bathtub back to wherever you came from 2108 01:31:00,916 --> 01:31:04,166 and deliver a message from Os Estúpidos. 2109 01:31:04,250 --> 01:31:06,166 You tell the people of Brazil 2110 01:31:06,250 --> 01:31:10,208 and the rest of the soccer-humping community in the world, 2111 01:31:10,291 --> 01:31:14,375 you tell them that we are very, very sorry, 2112 01:31:14,458 --> 01:31:18,458 but it is only a game. 2113 01:31:20,375 --> 01:31:22,375 And we're done paying for it. 2114 01:31:28,041 --> 01:31:29,291 Fine. 2115 01:31:29,375 --> 01:31:32,000 I'll pass along your heartfelt apology. 2116 01:31:32,083 --> 01:31:36,083 I'll also tell them what happened after you apologized. 2117 01:31:36,166 --> 01:31:39,416 That you and your esteemed colleague escaped to the ocean 2118 01:31:39,500 --> 01:31:44,041 on your intrepid wooden raft down the Iguazú River. 2119 01:31:44,625 --> 01:31:46,500 I like it. We'd be like folk heroes. 2120 01:31:46,583 --> 01:31:48,708 It's a win-win. Deal. 2121 01:31:48,791 --> 01:31:50,000 Thank you. 2122 01:31:50,875 --> 01:31:52,166 (in Portuguese) Let's go, Paulo! 2123 01:31:52,250 --> 01:31:54,833 (engine starts) 2124 01:31:54,916 --> 01:31:56,083 (laughing) 2125 01:32:05,416 --> 01:32:07,750 (in English) Did you see the look on his face? 2126 01:32:07,833 --> 01:32:09,666 That took testículos, my friend. 2127 01:32:09,750 --> 01:32:13,000 I'm not used to testículos. I want to do that more often. 2128 01:32:13,083 --> 01:32:15,375 (sighs) Oh. Whoo! 2129 01:32:15,458 --> 01:32:16,500 (Brad) Hey, wait a minute. 2130 01:32:16,583 --> 01:32:19,000 What did he... what did he just call the river? 2131 01:32:19,083 --> 01:32:22,791 I think he called it the Ig-Iguazú or something. 2132 01:32:23,416 --> 01:32:25,125 You remember Contrails magazine? 2133 01:32:25,208 --> 01:32:27,875 -It had a little profile on... -The Iguazú River? 2134 01:32:27,958 --> 01:32:30,958 No, it wasn't the Iguazú River. 2135 01:32:31,041 --> 01:32:33,125 It was the Iguazú Falls. 2136 01:32:33,208 --> 01:32:34,791 The largest waterfall. 2137 01:32:34,875 --> 01:32:37,000 (dramatic music playing) 2138 01:32:37,083 --> 01:32:39,041 In Brazil? 2139 01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:40,875 No, in the world. 2140 01:32:40,958 --> 01:32:43,250 ♪ ♪ 2141 01:32:43,333 --> 01:32:45,333 (water roaring) 2142 01:32:47,083 --> 01:32:49,041 -We got to get to shore! -Well, fuck. 2143 01:32:49,125 --> 01:32:50,333 Come on. 2144 01:32:51,333 --> 01:32:52,625 Come on. 2145 01:32:53,416 --> 01:32:55,583 (Elijah) The fucking oar is not doing anything. 2146 01:32:56,583 --> 01:32:57,791 -(Elijah) Ah. -(Brad) Come on. 2147 01:32:57,875 --> 01:32:59,500 Oh, my God! 2148 01:33:00,250 --> 01:33:01,666 Oh, shit. 2149 01:33:01,750 --> 01:33:04,041 (Elijah) It's supposed to turn. Why isn't it turning? 2150 01:33:05,458 --> 01:33:07,083 This thing barely fucking moves. 2151 01:33:07,166 --> 01:33:08,666 Quick, condoms. 2152 01:33:08,750 --> 01:33:09,958 (Elijah) What? 2153 01:33:10,041 --> 01:33:11,416 Flotation devices. 2154 01:33:11,500 --> 01:33:14,416 ♪ ♪ 2155 01:33:16,500 --> 01:33:17,625 Oh. 2156 01:33:18,291 --> 01:33:19,708 You ready? 2157 01:33:21,041 --> 01:33:24,041 (distorted yelling) 2158 01:33:33,833 --> 01:33:34,875 (yells) 2159 01:33:34,958 --> 01:33:36,708 (music fades) 2160 01:33:36,791 --> 01:33:38,333 (gasping) 2161 01:33:38,416 --> 01:33:39,875 Brad! 2162 01:33:41,708 --> 01:33:43,250 Brad! 2163 01:33:43,333 --> 01:33:46,333 (♪ Toco sings "Bate") 2164 01:33:46,416 --> 01:33:48,250 Brad! 2165 01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:52,500 (breathlessly) Brad, Brad. 2166 01:33:52,583 --> 01:33:54,958 (grunts) Brad. 2167 01:33:55,041 --> 01:33:56,833 Brad, it's okay, buddy. 2168 01:33:56,916 --> 01:33:59,250 ♪ ♪ 2169 01:33:59,333 --> 01:34:01,333 (song continues with lyrics in Portuguese) 2170 01:34:07,333 --> 01:34:09,333 ♪ ♪ 2171 01:34:21,541 --> 01:34:22,666 Oh, buddy. 2172 01:34:25,333 --> 01:34:27,458 Come on, Brad. Yeah, yeah, spit it out. 2173 01:34:27,541 --> 01:34:28,708 Come on, buddy. 2174 01:34:28,791 --> 01:34:30,208 Breathe, breathe. 2175 01:34:33,541 --> 01:34:35,833 Oh. Breathe, Brad, breathe! 2176 01:34:36,791 --> 01:34:38,083 Uh... 2177 01:34:38,166 --> 01:34:39,875 -(song stops abruptly) -(Elijah gagging) 2178 01:34:41,000 --> 01:34:42,375 -Oh, Brad. -(grunting) 2179 01:34:42,458 --> 01:34:44,041 -Brad, yeah, yeah. -(coughing) 2180 01:34:44,125 --> 01:34:45,708 Get it out, buddy. Get it out, get it out. 2181 01:34:45,791 --> 01:34:47,750 -(coughing) -Oh. 2182 01:34:47,833 --> 01:34:49,791 Hey, you're germ-free, right? 2183 01:34:49,875 --> 01:34:51,958 -Seriously? -Shut up. 2184 01:34:52,041 --> 01:34:53,750 -(distant rumbling) -Did you hear that? 2185 01:34:53,833 --> 01:34:55,625 -What? -Oh, no. 2186 01:34:55,708 --> 01:34:57,000 (Brad) Oh, shit. 2187 01:34:57,083 --> 01:34:58,625 (rumbling grows louder) 2188 01:34:59,416 --> 01:35:01,541 -(engine rumbling loudly) -(Elijah) Oh! 2189 01:35:01,625 --> 01:35:03,958 You got to be fucking kidding me! 2190 01:35:05,500 --> 01:35:07,000 Oh. 2191 01:35:07,083 --> 01:35:08,541 (engine stops) 2192 01:35:10,291 --> 01:35:12,000 -(Brad) Wait, please! -(guns clicking) 2193 01:35:12,083 --> 01:35:14,291 No, no, no. No, hold your fire. 2194 01:35:14,375 --> 01:35:16,625 Wait. Hold up, please. 2195 01:35:16,708 --> 01:35:18,083 Don't shoot. 2196 01:35:18,166 --> 01:35:19,375 Don't take him. 2197 01:35:20,458 --> 01:35:21,916 Take me. 2198 01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:23,791 -Come on, man. -No. 2199 01:35:23,875 --> 01:35:25,416 What's done is done. 2200 01:35:25,500 --> 01:35:27,166 This good man is not to blame. 2201 01:35:27,250 --> 01:35:29,458 Is he a bit of a tool? Absolutely. 2202 01:35:29,541 --> 01:35:32,125 But he's got a lot of new amazing stuff to invent. 2203 01:35:32,208 --> 01:35:35,166 And if I know Elijah, and I think I do, 2204 01:35:35,250 --> 01:35:37,958 testicles won't be the only thing he ends up saving. 2205 01:35:38,041 --> 01:35:39,875 So if you've got to serve some justice, 2206 01:35:39,958 --> 01:35:41,791 serve it to me. 2207 01:35:41,875 --> 01:35:44,375 Hey. Hey. 2208 01:35:44,458 --> 01:35:48,333 I am really sorry I made such a big deal out of sucking the fish out of your dick. 2209 01:35:49,875 --> 01:35:53,833 Relax. The Iguazú is more than just a river. 2210 01:35:53,916 --> 01:35:55,041 It's a border. 2211 01:35:56,166 --> 01:35:57,291 Welcome to... 2212 01:35:58,541 --> 01:36:00,291 (majestic music playing) 2213 01:36:00,375 --> 01:36:01,708 Uruguay? 2214 01:36:01,791 --> 01:36:02,958 -Oh, my God, we're in Uruguay? -No. 2215 01:36:03,041 --> 01:36:04,750 (Elijah) No, we're not. 2216 01:36:04,833 --> 01:36:06,666 That's Argentina! 2217 01:36:06,750 --> 01:36:09,041 Our flags are very similar. 2218 01:36:09,916 --> 01:36:12,375 My country has been trying to save you two 2219 01:36:12,458 --> 01:36:14,250 since the moment you saved us. 2220 01:36:14,333 --> 01:36:15,625 Really? 2221 01:36:15,708 --> 01:36:17,125 Well, you could've fooled us. 2222 01:36:17,208 --> 01:36:19,875 Yeah, wh-where the hell have you guys been? 2223 01:36:19,958 --> 01:36:22,333 -(door closes) -(woman) Oh, where have we been? 2224 01:36:24,541 --> 01:36:25,541 -Oh. -What the...? 2225 01:36:27,541 --> 01:36:29,333 Antonia? How...? 2226 01:36:29,416 --> 01:36:31,375 My name is Isadora Cortez, and I'm an officer 2227 01:36:31,458 --> 01:36:33,625 with the Agencia Federal de Inteligencia. 2228 01:36:34,708 --> 01:36:36,708 You're a spy? 2229 01:36:36,791 --> 01:36:40,375 Since the moment you were arrested, I've been running Operation Estúpidos. 2230 01:36:40,458 --> 01:36:41,750 -Huh? -Guys... 2231 01:36:41,833 --> 01:36:43,875 all you had to do was listen to me at the jail, 2232 01:36:43,958 --> 01:36:45,916 but you fired me before you even heard my plan. 2233 01:36:46,000 --> 01:36:47,208 (Brad) I-I didn't fire you. 2234 01:36:47,291 --> 01:36:49,291 -He fired you. -To protect her. 2235 01:36:49,375 --> 01:36:52,708 Wow, it's absolutely true-- no good deed goes unpunished. 2236 01:36:52,791 --> 01:36:54,000 -I told you. -Awesome. 2237 01:36:54,083 --> 01:36:57,500 We had a multimember extraction team waiting to whisk you two out of Brazil, 2238 01:36:57,583 --> 01:36:59,875 but you were always one step ahead of us. 2239 01:36:59,958 --> 01:37:02,625 Wait a second. Was that, was that the crowd chasing us down the alley? 2240 01:37:02,708 --> 01:37:04,166 No, that was the Brazilians. 2241 01:37:04,250 --> 01:37:05,375 Oh, good. 2242 01:37:05,458 --> 01:37:07,708 But we were there when Pavio Curto was about to kill you 2243 01:37:07,791 --> 01:37:09,125 with that cachaça bottle. 2244 01:37:09,208 --> 01:37:11,000 -That was you guys? -Of course. 2245 01:37:11,083 --> 01:37:13,958 Why did you guys run into the jungle after we shot him? 2246 01:37:14,041 --> 01:37:16,583 Curt said it was a rival drug gang. 2247 01:37:16,666 --> 01:37:18,583 That fucking liar. 2248 01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:21,541 Then we lost your cell phone signal and feared you were dead. 2249 01:37:21,625 --> 01:37:23,958 Our entire country has been praying for you. 2250 01:37:24,041 --> 01:37:26,000 You guys were praying for us? 2251 01:37:26,083 --> 01:37:28,166 (gentle music playing) 2252 01:37:28,250 --> 01:37:30,333 Well, I guess our prayers have been answered. 2253 01:37:30,416 --> 01:37:32,708 ¡Los Genios! ¡Vamos! 2254 01:37:32,791 --> 01:37:34,208 (♪ La Mosca sings "Muchachos, ahora nos volvimos a ilusionar") 2255 01:37:34,291 --> 01:37:35,291 ¡Argentina! 2256 01:37:35,375 --> 01:37:37,750 (chanting) ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! 2257 01:37:37,833 --> 01:37:41,916 ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! 2258 01:37:42,000 --> 01:37:45,083 -¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! -(song continues with lyrics in Spanish) 2259 01:37:45,166 --> 01:37:49,166 ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! 2260 01:37:49,250 --> 01:37:51,166 (Elijah) I'm not just the designer. 2261 01:37:51,250 --> 01:37:52,750 I'm also a client. 2262 01:37:52,833 --> 01:37:54,666 (song continues) 2263 01:37:54,750 --> 01:37:58,500 Your os testículos will never be the same. 2264 01:37:58,583 --> 01:38:01,041 Los testículos. 2265 01:38:01,125 --> 01:38:02,791 You're in Buenos Aires now. 2266 01:38:02,875 --> 01:38:06,791 And do you know what is better than being the condom of the World Cup? 2267 01:38:06,875 --> 01:38:10,333 Being the official condom of an entire country. 2268 01:38:11,875 --> 01:38:13,791 Tens milliones, por favor. 2269 01:38:13,875 --> 01:38:15,541 (cheering) 2270 01:38:17,333 --> 01:38:21,291 (crowd) ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! ¡Argentina! 2271 01:38:22,750 --> 01:38:24,583 (cheering) 2272 01:38:24,666 --> 01:38:27,375 ♪ ♪ 2273 01:38:32,208 --> 01:38:33,666 Yeah! 2274 01:38:33,750 --> 01:38:36,500 (rapid beeping) 2275 01:38:36,583 --> 01:38:38,000 (beeping stops) 2276 01:38:38,083 --> 01:38:39,333 Whoo! 2277 01:38:39,416 --> 01:38:40,750 Hey! 2278 01:38:42,833 --> 01:38:44,916 ♪ ♪ 2279 01:38:53,958 --> 01:38:56,625 (cheering, hollering) 2280 01:38:56,708 --> 01:38:58,791 (song ends) 2281 01:38:58,875 --> 01:39:02,500 (Brad) A wise man once said, "Futebol is science: 2282 01:39:02,583 --> 01:39:05,458 mathematics, physics, chemistry. 2283 01:39:05,541 --> 01:39:07,625 But also the humanities: 2284 01:39:07,708 --> 01:39:10,291 art, music, poetry." 2285 01:39:12,291 --> 01:39:14,125 (Elijah) "It is also love, 2286 01:39:14,208 --> 01:39:17,291 family, community," 2287 01:39:17,375 --> 01:39:20,083 orange slices... 2288 01:39:20,166 --> 01:39:22,708 and the greatest game in the world. 2289 01:39:22,791 --> 01:39:24,958 (children cheering) 2290 01:39:25,041 --> 01:39:27,833 (Brad) As for us, we settled into Argentina 2291 01:39:27,916 --> 01:39:30,833 like testículos into the Balls Up. 2292 01:39:30,916 --> 01:39:32,875 Put that on our gravestones. 2293 01:39:32,958 --> 01:39:34,791 (Elijah) So, we're getting gravestones? 2294 01:39:34,875 --> 01:39:36,625 (Brad) Uh, better than gravestones. 2295 01:39:36,708 --> 01:39:39,166 -(♪ Empire of the Sun sings "Changes") -♪ Pick it up, pick it up ♪ 2296 01:39:39,250 --> 01:39:41,125 ♪ Pick it up, pick it up ♪ 2297 01:39:41,208 --> 01:39:45,333 ♪ In the middle of a low-light kaleidoscope ♪ 2298 01:39:45,416 --> 01:39:49,541 ♪ we been listening to a heart radio for the soul ♪ 2299 01:39:49,625 --> 01:39:52,208 ♪ For the soul ♪ 2300 01:39:52,291 --> 01:39:55,208 ♪ Don't stop moving, feel the shock within ♪ 2301 01:39:55,291 --> 01:39:59,083 ♪ Shattered love, the love ♪ 2302 01:39:59,166 --> 01:40:02,791 ♪ Now don't stop moving, don't you let them win ♪ 2303 01:40:02,875 --> 01:40:04,916 ♪ Shattered love ♪ 2304 01:40:05,000 --> 01:40:11,958 ♪ The love, now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow ♪ 2305 01:40:12,041 --> 01:40:15,666 ♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪ 2306 01:40:15,750 --> 01:40:18,541 ♪ This time not like bеfore ♪ 2307 01:40:18,625 --> 01:40:21,750 ♪ This time, we're going places ♪ 2308 01:40:21,833 --> 01:40:26,250 ♪ Letting go, letting go, letting go, letting go ♪ 2309 01:40:26,333 --> 01:40:29,916 ♪ This time, we gonna embrace it ♪ 2310 01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:32,958 ♪ This time, I'll love you more ♪ 2311 01:40:33,041 --> 01:40:35,875 ♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪ 2312 01:40:35,958 --> 01:40:40,333 ♪ Letting go, letting go, letting go, letting go ♪ 2313 01:40:40,416 --> 01:40:42,666 ♪ ♪ 2314 01:40:57,125 --> 01:41:00,958 ♪ We pushing deep down, far to the inner core ♪ 2315 01:41:01,041 --> 01:41:05,875 ♪ You and I are finding something never found before ♪ 2316 01:41:05,958 --> 01:41:08,250 ♪ Before ♪ 2317 01:41:08,333 --> 01:41:12,583 ♪ Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up ♪ 2318 01:41:12,666 --> 01:41:16,250 ♪ Hear the echo of our voice in the valley below ♪ 2319 01:41:16,333 --> 01:41:21,083 ♪ We are calling your name, come on and lose control ♪ 2320 01:41:21,166 --> 01:41:23,500 ♪ Control ♪ 2321 01:41:23,583 --> 01:41:26,625 ♪ Don't stop moving, don't you let them win ♪ 2322 01:41:26,708 --> 01:41:28,791 ♪ Shattered love ♪ 2323 01:41:28,875 --> 01:41:34,958 ♪ The love, now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow ♪ 2324 01:41:36,000 --> 01:41:39,416 ♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪ 2325 01:41:39,500 --> 01:41:42,375 ♪ This time not like before ♪ 2326 01:41:42,458 --> 01:41:45,375 ♪ This time, we're going places ♪ 2327 01:41:45,458 --> 01:41:50,041 ♪ Letting go, letting go, letting go, letting go ♪ 2328 01:41:50,125 --> 01:41:53,708 ♪ This time, we gonna embrace it ♪ 2329 01:41:53,791 --> 01:41:56,625 ♪ This time, I'll love you more ♪ 2330 01:41:56,708 --> 01:41:59,708 ♪ This time, we're going through changes ♪ 2331 01:41:59,791 --> 01:42:04,083 ♪ Letting go, letting go, letting go, letting go ♪♪ 2332 01:42:04,166 --> 01:42:06,166 ♪ ♪ 2333 01:42:35,875 --> 01:42:38,083 (song ends) 2334 01:42:38,166 --> 01:42:40,166 (upbeat music playing) 2335 01:43:10,166 --> 01:43:12,166 ♪ ♪ 2336 01:43:42,166 --> 01:43:44,166 ♪ ♪ 2337 01:44:11,375 --> 01:44:16,375 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪♪ 2338 01:44:17,875 --> 01:44:19,875 (music ends)