1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,218 [♪ "Age of Consent" by New Order playing] 2 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:17,809 ♪♪ 3 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:27,486 [Eric] This way. 4 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:33,450 ♪ Won't you please let me go? ♪ 5 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:38,914 ♪ These words lie inside, they hurt me so ♪ 6 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:43,460 ♪ And I'm not the kind that likes to tell you ♪ 7 00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:46,380 ♪ Just what you want me to ♪ 8 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,967 ♪ You're not the kind that needs to tell me ♪ 9 00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,594 ♪ About the birds and the bees ♪ 10 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,141 -[♪ music stops abruptly] -Oh. So sorry. 11 00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,476 I-- sorry. 12 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:02,145 I was-- I was looking at that guy. 13 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,481 -What guy? -He's not there, he was right-- 14 00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:06,567 -Um, I don't know. -What'd he look like? 15 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,859 He was wet. 16 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,528 -He was a wet guy? -Mm-hmm. 17 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:13,156 Professor Shepard said to wait here in front of Cabot Hall. 18 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,658 Did she say how long to wait? 19 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,577 Because I think we are supposed to start-- 20 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:19,871 Ah, okay. I'll just stand here then. 21 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,834 -Nice mustache, jerk. -I can hear you. 22 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:26,336 Yeah, I know, I know. [chuckles] 23 00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:28,005 -No, I didn't. I'm sorry, I-- -Mr. Russo? 24 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,173 Yes. Greg, please. 25 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,675 Professor Shepard? 26 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:32,843 -Dylan. -Dylan. Right, right. 27 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,512 Hey, hey. Thank you, Eric. 28 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,055 Eric did a great job picking me up. 29 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,557 He-- he left. 30 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,517 [Dylan chuckles] You ready to rock and roll? 31 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:41,602 [Greg] Nope. 32 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,895 Oh, yuck, there I am. 33 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,856 -I don't love these readings. I don't. -Yep, that's you. 34 00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:48,525 I get so self-conscious, 35 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,694 and I can't... I can't... 36 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,529 -Oh, no, you can't read? -[chuckles] 37 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:55,032 Oh, if you come to a big word, just sound it out. 38 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,034 I write books that you're supposed to read at the beach. 39 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,202 -Mm. -They are light, they are fun. 40 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,787 Characters that you like have sex, 41 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,456 the ones that you don't get shot in the face. 42 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,291 -What? -At a stuffy college like this, 43 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,709 these kids aren't looking for fun. 44 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,711 -They're looking for depth. -Hey. I teach a class 45 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,213 about the poetry of Bad Bunny. You'll be fine, okay? 46 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,715 -What's a bad bunny? -[chuckles] 47 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,425 -Let's do this. -Okay. 48 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,386 "Rooster didn't mean to shoot Eduardo in the face, 49 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,055 "but there it was. 50 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:22,100 "One perfect bullet hole right below his eye. 51 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,646 "That night, Rooster drifted to sleep in a beach chair. 52 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:29,274 "Luckily, the first thing he saw when he woke was Margo, 53 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,736 "smiling as she floated towards him 54 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,739 in the shimmering morning heat." 55 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,783 [applause] 56 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:43,497 See? Wasn't so bad. 57 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,000 Okay, we have time for a few questions. 58 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,462 [sighs] Okay. Ronni, go ahead. 59 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,173 Mr. Russo, first, I want to thank you for coming 60 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,258 -and giving us your time. -Oh, my pleasure. 61 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,593 -No, really, thank you. -Oh, thank you. 62 00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,136 Appreciate it. What was your question? 63 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,681 -Why do you hate women? -[audience murmuring] 64 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:04,476 Wow, I don't-- I-- That's a fun way to start. 65 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,771 Easy answer. I-- I don't hate women. 66 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:10,023 "Mango was Rooster's favorite flavor 67 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,942 besides Margo herself." 68 00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:13,443 So here, you're comparing the taste 69 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,696 of a woman's vagina to a Popsicle. 70 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:18,782 I did not know I was doing that. 71 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,285 Well, you also say that she "smelled like birthday cake." 72 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,954 What was your thought process when you wrote that? 73 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:26,331 [chuckles] I... I must have been hungry. 74 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,126 -[laughter] -Here's the thing. 75 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:33,004 Um, I don't see Margo as a sex object. 76 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,133 Yes, uh, she and Rooster 77 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,009 -do have sex a few times-- -Sixteen times. 78 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,511 Okay, good, you-- you counted. 79 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,638 I mean, 17, if you include the oral sex. 80 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,142 Have to include that, right? 81 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,351 Yeah, let's include it. 82 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,812 Uh, for what it's worth, the character of Margo 83 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,481 is based on a woman I used to be married to. 84 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:54,234 So, yes, she is sexy and beautiful, 85 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,653 but she is also smart and brave. 86 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:58,071 That feeds into my question. 87 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,573 Uh, you know the part where Margo 88 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,992 saves Rooster from the drug smugglers? 89 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,535 Exactly, she's very brave in that moment. 90 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,746 Well, especially since she took off her bikini 91 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,497 and did it all topless. 92 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,332 -[students murmuring] -Yes. 93 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,209 She had to make a tourniquet. 94 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:13,837 What was your question? 95 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,589 -That was hot. -Smokeshow. 96 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,340 -[students chuckling] -Alright, great question. 97 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,842 Anybody else? 98 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,552 Ronni, you've had your turn. 99 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,431 Hey, Cristle. Is he back? 100 00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,850 He's here. He's very excited. 101 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,769 My gosh. 102 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,395 I mean, my gosh. 103 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,190 Just... [grunting] outstanding. 104 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,941 -Oh. -Not sure if you've officially met 105 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,234 our president, Walter Mann. 106 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,736 I was already a fan, 107 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,947 but absolutely loved the way you handled that Ronni. 108 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,532 Well, I hope I didn't make her feel bad. 109 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,201 Ah, who cares? 110 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,036 Nobody makes these kids feel bad anymore. 111 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:49,206 Let me tell you something. Life is hard. 112 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:52,375 -And we are teaching these kids exactly squat. -[softly] Hello. 113 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,544 -Hmm. -It's out of control, am I right? 114 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,463 Actually, I think it's refreshing that young people are-- 115 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,215 Oh, thank you, Cristle. You're done. 116 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,050 Off you go. Please tell Dean Riggs 117 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,552 -I will meet him at the gym. -[Cristle] Fine. 118 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,721 Thank you, uh, for tolerating me. 119 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,097 [Cristle] We're not speaking. 120 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,724 -Bye, Greg! -She seems nice. 121 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,477 It's, uh, Crissle, yes? There's no T? 122 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,396 -There's a T. -Th-- there's a T. 123 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,065 -Oh. -Liberal arts colleges 124 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,775 used to be safe havens 125 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,276 -for free thought, Greg. -[scoffs] 126 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,153 When did you and I become the bad guys? 127 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:21,571 Amen. What? 128 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,573 Populism is not very popular here. 129 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,450 I mean, take Dylan. I love her, 130 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,328 but it's no surprise that she hasn't read any of your books. 131 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,580 -What are you doing? -[Greg] It's okay. 132 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:34,084 I-- I actually haven't read any of your poetry, either. 133 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:37,587 It's funny, in your emails, you said you loved Dylan's poetry. 134 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,965 I-- I did. I do love them. 135 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,299 Read all of them. 136 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,093 I just didn't wanna make her feel bad. 137 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,177 Ah. 138 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,596 Happy? You got us both. 139 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:49,266 Unintentional. Just Walt being Walt. 140 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,684 -Mm. -Dylan, to be continued. 141 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,186 Greg, you give me a ten count and then join me. 142 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,354 Wh... 143 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,939 -[door closes] -[Dylan chuckles] 144 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,108 Yes, he wants you to count to ten and, no, I don't know why. 145 00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,359 -Okay. -[both chuckle] 146 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,319 I'm gonna read your books. 147 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,113 Oh, no. Don't worry about it. 148 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,489 Nice meeting you, Greg. 149 00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,241 Nice you-- me also. 150 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,285 Okay. [chuckles] 151 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,453 [softly] What are you doing? 152 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,747 [exhales sharply] Okay. 153 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,710 Oh, boy. 154 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,044 That was barely eight there, Greg. 155 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,297 Do you need another 10 or 20 count? 156 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,299 -May I guess what you're thinking? -I doubt it. 157 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,010 Most college presidents are bookish shut-ins, 158 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,469 but this guy's jacked. 159 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:29,139 That's exactly what I was thinking. 160 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,975 I would have also accepted, "Wow!" 161 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:34,185 You know my secret? Hot sauna, cold plunge, 162 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,896 every goddamn day. 163 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,814 You get the same endorphins you get from cocaine, 164 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,733 only it lasts two hours instead of nine minutes. 165 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,943 -Plus, come here. -Scoot closer? 166 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,822 It releases the brown fat. 167 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,657 Well, you gotta release the brown fat. 168 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,493 -I knew you'd get it. -I'm glad that you think that I do. 169 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,079 Uh, listen, I would be a bad dad 170 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,040 if I didn't ask how Katie was doing, 171 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,001 and I know that you probably have heard about her and Archie. 172 00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,502 You go to any campus in America, 173 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,254 and no marriage between two faculty members 174 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,006 has ever lasted more than a year and a half. 175 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:05,383 I can't believe that is true. 176 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,594 Well, it may not be factually true, but the spirit of it is. 177 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,846 -Mm-hmm. -Now, what about you? 178 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,890 -You ever think about teaching? -Oh, me? 179 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,850 [chuckles] Oh, no. No. 180 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,269 Not really. I-- I didn't go to college. 181 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,520 Who cares? It's overrated. 182 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,105 Real-- Okay. 183 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,775 I'm still looking for my writer-in-residence. 184 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,277 You say the word, gig's yours. 185 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,695 -Well-- -Don't answer now. 186 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,405 Come back and tell me your decision before you leave. 187 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,407 I want you to go out and let this campus 188 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,867 get its magic all over you. 189 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,036 -All over me? -Yeah, baby. 190 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,788 In the meantime, I'm gonna go to the gym 191 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,539 and throw some metal around. You care to join? 192 00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:37,791 No, thanks. 193 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,709 -I-- I'm gonna go see my kid. -Ah, good dad. 194 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,920 You tell that Katie that if it took a campus sex scandal 195 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,548 to finally get her old man up here, worth it. 196 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,550 Probably not gonna tell her that. 197 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,220 Thank you. Okay. Alright. 198 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,638 -Hey, Greg. -Yes? 199 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,932 -Thrilled you're here. -Good to see you. 200 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:59,270 [♪ upbeat music playing] 201 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,154 [Katie] With his water lilies, Monet eschewed tradition 202 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,490 and focused on the surface of the pond 203 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,993 at his home in Giverny. Beautiful, right? 204 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:16,162 Hard to believe, but, uh, actually conservators... 205 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,288 [groaning] 206 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,834 ...uh, restored that exact painting 207 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,168 with Q-tips and spit. 208 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,295 -Ew. -Okay, uh, you can take 209 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,131 that slightly disgusting tidbit and get outta here. 210 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,924 But there is a paper due on Monday. 211 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,843 But there's a K-party this weekend. 212 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,928 -What is a K-party? -You don't wanna know. 213 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,096 I don't wanna know, okay. 214 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,597 If you feel like you need extra time 215 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,599 on your paper, that is my dad. 216 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,351 Interacting with strangers makes him very uncomfortable. 217 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,812 So, if you want extra time, look him in the eye 218 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,647 and tell him that you love him, okay? 219 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,527 No. Please don't do it. 220 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,738 -I love you very much. -Okay. 221 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,323 [student] See you. 222 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,453 Do you know what brown fat is? 223 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,371 Dad, I love that you're here, but I don't need you 224 00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,415 -to check up on me. -I'm not checking up on you. 225 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,958 They asked me to come and read. 226 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,626 Oh, come on, Dad, you hate this place. 227 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,712 They've asked you like a billion times. 228 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,797 -Just admit it. -I don't want to admit it, 229 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,132 because you will get mad. 230 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,175 [Katie sighs] 231 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,219 -Everybody knows. -Knows what? 232 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,554 About Archie. 233 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,389 Everybody knows. This place is like a fishbowl. 234 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,141 -He knows. -He doesn't know. 235 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,018 Hey, excuse me. You know that my husband 236 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,145 left me to fuck a grad student, right? 237 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,646 Uh, I... 238 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,815 -[sighs] Oh. -Answer honestly, 239 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,026 and I promise this moment is over for you. 240 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:29,819 -Yes. -Thank you. 241 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,237 You're welcome. 242 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,323 -See? -Okay. 243 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,033 You know, the worst part is everybody 244 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,826 keeps asking me what happened. 245 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,536 I don't know what happened. 246 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,497 We were normal, and then the next thing I know, 247 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,248 he's with her, and I'm packing up 248 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,417 and moving into the dead hockey coach's house. 249 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,002 How did the hockey coach die? 250 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,921 [sighs] I think he killed himself 251 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,048 because his father was focusing on the wrong part of the story. 252 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,176 I'm sorry. I'm back. It wasn't on the ice, was it? 253 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,178 -Dad. -I'm sorry. Go ahead. 254 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,846 I feel like everybody's looking at me all the time. 255 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,182 They're not looking at you. He wasn't looking at you. 256 00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,683 Oh, yep, he just did. 257 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,393 I'm losing my grip, Dad, I hate it. 258 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,687 Honey, you're not losing your grip. 259 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:05,814 You are strong. 260 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,733 Whoa! [laughing] 261 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,361 Honey, why are we in the bushes? 262 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,071 Shh, that's them over there. 263 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,074 They eat their lunch here sometimes. 264 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,742 -So you're stalking them? -Mm... 265 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,371 -That's fine, hon. -They never even kiss. 266 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,581 And look at her, she's not like some model type. 267 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,708 -She's just like a normal girl. -[Greg] Mm. 268 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,544 Oh, I just-- It would make so much more sense to me 269 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,295 if she was special in some way. 270 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,548 Well, honey, maybe what makes her special 271 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,092 is on the inside, you know, who she is as a person. 272 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,886 -Are you fucking kidding me? -I'm sorry. 273 00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,805 -What are you doing? -I'm in the bushes. 274 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,223 I'm off my game. 275 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,432 Look, hon. 276 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,727 There's something that I-- wha... 277 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,229 Just look at me. 278 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:47,480 -Just look at me right now. -What? 279 00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:48,898 Focus on what I'm saying, 280 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,942 -because I have something important-- -No. 281 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,449 [sighs] Shit. 282 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,078 Not many women get to be with their father 283 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,289 while they watch their husband make out with someone. 284 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,541 Yeah, we're pretty lucky. 285 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,419 Why would you come here? 286 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,129 -I knew you'd be mad. -[scoffs] 287 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,672 Don't. Katie. 288 00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,342 [Greg sighs] 289 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:21,931 No. No. 290 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:22,974 -Nope. -Uh... 291 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,350 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 292 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,269 I wasn't watching you. 293 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:29,647 I was watching a couple behind you kissing. 294 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,107 -A straight couple. -Dude. 295 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,484 Not that that matters. It just-- 296 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,652 -I'm just clarifying. -Yeah. 297 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,446 You don't have to take out your phone. 298 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,448 That's-- I'm out-- I'm outta here. 299 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:39,657 ♪ Can you hear them? ♪ 300 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,950 See you later! 301 00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:44,120 ♪ Talking 'bout us telling lies ♪ 302 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,622 ♪ Is that a surprise? ♪ 303 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,624 [♪ "Our Lips are Sealed" continues playing in store] 304 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,833 [sighs] 305 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,296 Hey, there's that guy. 306 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,964 -You kicked ass today. -Oh. 307 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,217 Big fan, I love those Rooster books. I read 'em all. 308 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,968 Oh, thank you. 309 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,554 You're the, uh, the bikini kid. 310 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:02,931 Oh, Tommy Newton. 311 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,477 Oh, shit. I forgot my wallet. 312 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:08,728 Stupid. 313 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,104 -No, no, no. Give me that. -Really? 314 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,981 -I got you. -Oh, sweet. 315 00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:14,025 -Wait, I'ma get some chips too, then. -[Greg laughing] 316 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,818 I'm just kidding. Very kind, thanks. 317 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,570 It's okay. Got ya. 318 00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:19,697 -Again, I really appreciate it. -No problem. There you go. 319 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,990 -Sweet. -Enjoy it. 320 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,367 [officer] Bonjour, mes amis. 321 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,328 -Hello. -I said "hello" in French 322 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,664 because I am betting that you are from Paris, 323 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:31,042 where they let kids drink wine and babies smoke cigarettes. 324 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,586 But here in America, the legal drinking age is 21. 325 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,588 You're not 21? 326 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,674 -Not yet. -Okay, officer. 327 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:38,716 [sighs] 328 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,760 He said that he forgot his wallet. 329 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,846 -He offered to buy me beer. -Are you kidding me? 330 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,848 Kind of an age-old story, isn't it? 331 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,100 Kid gives you 20 bucks, 332 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,518 you go inside and get him some beer. 333 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,354 -I don't need 20 bucks. -Okay, money buckets. 334 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,189 [whispering] There's other reasons you might do it. 335 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,358 What, for like a blowjob in the alley? 336 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,526 What? 337 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,361 F... oh. 338 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:01,030 No. I was thinking that you might do it 339 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,199 because he seems like a good kid. 340 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,201 -Yes, yes, yes, that makes much more sense. -Yes. 341 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:08,288 But now, I got this blowjob thing 342 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,623 -stuck in my head, and either you're giving it to him... -No, no. 343 00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,709 -...or he's giving it to you, but either way... -Nobody's giving anyone 344 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,711 -a blowjob, Officer! -...that's all I can see right now. 345 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:15,920 -No, no, it was just a stupid remark. -No. 346 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,714 No, no, no, no, no. No, you don't just say 347 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,257 something like that unless you're thinking it. 348 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,550 -Yeah, I agree. -Yes. 349 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:23,386 I disagree. I wholeheartedly disagree. 350 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,263 Tommy Newton, come on. 351 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,600 He didn't do anything, I-- I tricked him. 352 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:31,602 There you go. 353 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,645 Alright. 354 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,815 Leave the beer and get outta here. 355 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,278 Thanks for being a good kid. 356 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,239 Even if it was just right at the end. 357 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,158 I'm gonna go ahead and take these from you. 358 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,576 Oh, okay. 359 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,786 Stay out of the alleys. 360 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:52,123 [♪ "Only You" by Yaz playing] 361 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,084 [whistling exhale] Okay. 362 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,587 ♪ Looking from a window above ♪ 363 00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,714 ♪ It's like a story of love ♪ 364 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:03,968 ♪ Can you hear me? ♪ 365 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,763 ♪ Came back only yesterday ♪ 366 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,431 ♪ I'm moving further away ♪ 367 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,807 Uh... yeah. 368 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,976 Fuck it. 369 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:17,148 ♪ All I needed was the love you gave ♪ 370 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:21,944 ♪ All I needed for another day ♪ 371 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:25,114 ♪ And all I ever knew ♪ 372 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:28,451 -[inaudible conversation] -♪ Only you ♪ 373 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,660 -[♪ music stops abruptly] -[phone ringing] 374 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,371 -Oh, fuck. -[dog barking] 375 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,290 [exclaiming] Oh! Shh! 376 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:37,043 Hey, kiddo, sorry about before. 377 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,295 Are you really gonna make me eat dinner by myself? 378 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,506 Huh? Call me. 379 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,882 -Hey, Margaret. -Hey. 380 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,217 -[dog barking] -[shushing] 381 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,928 [quiet gasp] 382 00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,222 [muffled] Katie? 383 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:51,557 -[dog barking] -Hey. 384 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,727 I'm walking the dog. 385 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,857 He-- he only shits in this yard, so... 386 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,027 [people chattering] 387 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,072 Excuse me. 388 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:09,992 -How is your house Chardonnay? -Tastes like shit. 389 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:12,036 Great. I'll have one Chardonnay. 390 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,330 -Chardonnay? Oh. [laughing] -Oh, hi. 391 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:15,998 -What are you doing here? -Get a real drink. 392 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,835 -Excuse me? -[sighs] You wanna sit here by yourself, fine. 393 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,504 You wanna join me, you need to get a little more self-destructive. 394 00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,214 -Okay. -Tequila Blanco. 395 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,508 Rocks. Splash of lime. 396 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,385 Alright, yeah. Make that two. 397 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,429 -Sure. -Can I at least get more nuts? 398 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,013 Did you eat that whole bowl? 399 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,557 We're good with the nuts. 400 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,768 [Greg] Listen, I don't see what the problem is. 401 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,187 She's never even taught before. 402 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,522 You pulled some strings. 403 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,566 You got your friend a job. I think it's nice. 404 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,943 What if she sucks and Walt fires her? 405 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:46,195 Worst-case scenario. 406 00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:47,864 It goes horribly. She blames you. 407 00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,866 Something breaks deep inside of her, 408 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,534 and she shoots you in the face. 409 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,703 -I will fuck you up. -[laughing] 410 00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,538 You know, I pretended it was for her. 411 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:58,791 She had just gotten a divorce. I said, "Oh, you need a change." 412 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:02,128 But it wasn't for her. It was for me. 413 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,882 I just feel so isolated. 414 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,550 And, look, I've been here for a minute. 415 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:09,760 A few friends didn't get tenure and split. 416 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,889 I've already dated everybody worth dating. 417 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:16,225 And I said "I love you" once, but I took it back. 418 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,060 -You can do that? -You can. 419 00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:19,437 But they get really mad. 420 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,481 [laughing] 421 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:26,903 You ever, um, been completely surrounded by people 422 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,571 and still felt utterly alone? 423 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,948 Yeah, for about 25 years. 424 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,326 I was married. 425 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,244 -Right. -Right, oh yeah. 426 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:39,248 -To the school's most celebrated alum. -Yes. 427 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,917 -Mm. -Actually, you would love her. 428 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,084 You'd love Elizabeth. 429 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,961 [sighs] When we were married... 430 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,797 there were always so many people around. 431 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:50,426 And when we split up, those same people 432 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,512 were the ones to say 433 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,014 that we never made sense together, 434 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,891 because she was so far out of my league. 435 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,520 And for a long time, I felt they were right. 436 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,688 How long? 437 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,778 What is this all about? 438 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,279 Your key is bent. 439 00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,198 [Dylan] Yeah, it's my house key. It doesn't always work. 440 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,491 Quit changing the subject. 441 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,327 Um, too long. 442 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:18,663 I felt that way for too long. 443 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,125 Want me to get us some more nuts? 444 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,794 So badly. 445 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,629 Excuse me. Can we get some more nuts? 446 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:29,632 -Would you like 'em warm? -Warm nuts? 447 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,634 -[laughing] -They haven't even talked to each other. 448 00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:35,805 Archie is so gutless, he can't even look her in the eye 449 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,890 and explain what happened. 450 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,643 I just-- know what I wanna do? I wanna go over there 451 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,812 and just tell him to man the heck up! 452 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,648 Uh, I think you gotta go with "man the fuck up." 453 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,067 -[student] I love you. -Oh, hope you get an F. 454 00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,986 -What was-- What was that? -That's a long story. 455 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:53,322 It doesn't matter, because if I talk to him, 456 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:54,865 -Katie would kill me. -No, she wouldn't. 457 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,242 She'll love you for it. 458 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,743 Ugh, I don't think so. 459 00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,496 I mean, she wouldn't tell you she loves you for it. 460 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,666 And then, she'll probably say she's mad at you. 461 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:05,501 [keys jingling] 462 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,712 You didn't have to walk me all the way home. 463 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,755 Oh, well, I'm glad I did, though. 464 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,007 That was fun. 465 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,509 -Good night. -You wanna come in? 466 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,635 Hmm? 467 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,263 You wanna come in? 468 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,348 -Um... -Okay, in two weeks, 469 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,183 my friend is gonna be living right there. 470 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,437 And I love her, but she is always all up in my business. 471 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:29,775 So, probably no more fucking the guest speakers for me. 472 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,695 Wow. 473 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:36,532 I've never done this before. I'm just kidding. 474 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,201 -[laughing] I know. -[laughing] No, you didn't. 475 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,454 No, I did not know. 476 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:44,040 Oh. Do you know how old I am? 477 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,916 It's your lucky day, Grandpa. 478 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,878 Oh. [laughing] 479 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,297 Oh! Oh! 480 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:54,842 Dylan, you are gorgeous. 481 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:59,388 And funny, and so, so smart, 482 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,891 that I feel even dumber than usual. 483 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,143 -But today has just been a day. -Okay, you can stop. 484 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:06,395 No, no, no, no! I-- I was just saying, 485 00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:08,773 maybe we could just stand out here and talk for a little while? 486 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,567 I really don't love talking to men who just rejected me-- 487 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:12,902 I didn't reject you! 488 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:14,737 I just-- I'm uncomfortable. 489 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,322 And it's not you. 490 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,282 It's me-- I'm-- that's who-- 491 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:21,243 That's what I am most of the time, always. 492 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:26,165 So, maybe we could have a drink? 493 00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:29,752 Yeah? And kind of-- kinda just see where it goes? 494 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:30,961 Okay. 495 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,299 Would you like to come in and have a drink? 496 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,469 I probably shouldn't. 497 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,139 -What-- Holy crap. -[groaning] 498 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,350 You just rejected me twice. 499 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,185 -Why would you do that? -I don't know. 500 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,978 I don't know why I do so many things. 501 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,271 -Good night. -No. 502 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,606 Wait. Dylan! Dylan! 503 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,149 -Dylan! Uh... -Come on. 504 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,652 Oh, the key. The curse of the bent key. 505 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,612 Come on, come on. Shit. 506 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,322 You could try it a little less psychotically. 507 00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,949 -Okay, please just go. -No, no, no. 508 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,159 I wouldn't be a gentleman unless I waited for you to-- 509 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,577 -[glass shattering] -Oh. 510 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,081 Okay. 511 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,000 [door slams] 512 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,838 Good night. 513 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,758 [♪ upbeat music playing] 514 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,472 Hey, Bug, you-- you sure you don't want me to drive you? 515 00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,141 No, no, no, I-- I got it. 516 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,476 Hey, um, well, how-- how come you need to go to the dentist? 517 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,645 Um, because I hurt my arm. 518 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,230 -That's a joke. -Relax. 519 00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:33,315 -I'll be back later. -Okay. 520 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,568 -Big push for a big girl. -Yeah, see ya. 521 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,571 -[Archie] Eyes on the horizon. -Got it! 522 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,031 [with British accent] Hello, Guv! 523 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:44,201 Greg. Heard you were on campus. 524 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:45,453 Come on. 525 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,710 Just pop it on a coaster for me, will ya? 526 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,130 [mug clunks] 527 00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,508 I understand that you're the first Russian Studies professor 528 00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:01,427 to receive the Wallace Fellowship. 529 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:02,845 You don't care about my fellowship. 530 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,555 No. Nobody does. 531 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,016 Well, yeah, my friends talk about it quite a lot, so... 532 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,018 -Name one. -You don't know any of my friends. 533 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,686 Well, just throw a name out. 534 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:13,272 -Kevin. -I will bet you a million dollars 535 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:14,899 that you can't tell me Kevin's last name. 536 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,361 Listen, G-Greg, I know why you're here, alright? 537 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,030 You love Chekhov, right? 538 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:24,033 I was wrong. Uh, yeah, I like Chekhov a bit, yeah. 539 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,035 Don't you have that stupid first edition 540 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:27,578 Chekhov book that you're so proud of? 541 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,706 Tolstoy. It's the first edition 542 00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:33,918 of War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. 543 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,544 -[groaning] -Yes, I am rather proud of it. 544 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:37,922 It's probably one of the finest literary creations 545 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,715 any human being has ever made, so... 546 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:41,133 Why did you cheat on my daughter? 547 00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:42,968 -Sounds like you wanna make love to that book. -Okay. 548 00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:45,596 Could you just skip to the point, please, Greg? 549 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,474 No, because I thought that you loved Chekhov, 550 00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,768 and I spent the morning researching him 551 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,895 -in preparation for this conversation-- -For the love of God. 552 00:21:52,937 --> 00:21:55,439 -Then, pretend that I am a fan of Chekhov. -Okay. 553 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,942 Listen, since you love Chekhov so much, 554 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,402 you obviously know that he said, 555 00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:03,614 "No one must be humiliated." 556 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,241 I have been thinking about that a lot. 557 00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:06,826 How could you have been thinking about that a lot 558 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,327 if you only just read it this morning? 559 00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:09,995 -Are you a detective? -Well... 560 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:12,081 My God! Look. 561 00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:16,460 You need to man the fucking heck up. 562 00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:18,671 Katie has been humiliated, 563 00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:19,922 and I think that you owe it to her. 564 00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:21,173 I-- I love her. 565 00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:25,928 I do, I love her. 566 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,848 [sighs] Then what are you doing, man? 567 00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:30,850 I-- I, um... 568 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:34,103 [chuckles] 569 00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:36,230 I just-- I got lost. Um... 570 00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:39,608 we weren't getting along, 571 00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:42,611 and we drifted a bit, and I withdrew. 572 00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:45,197 And then along came Sunny, and the-- the clouds-- 573 00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:47,700 I'm cool not knowing anything about Sunny. 574 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,326 Look. 575 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,495 I am ready and willing to take the lion's share of the blame 576 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:52,955 with what happened between me and Katie. 577 00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:54,832 -You are a hero. -Thank you. 578 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,585 And also, your friend Kevin is not real. 579 00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:01,046 Katie and I both have things that we need to work on, 580 00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:04,133 and I-- I want to do that work, Greg, 581 00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:06,302 because she is still the most important thing 582 00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:08,220 that's ever happened to me. 583 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,640 And I think I've really cocked this up, 584 00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,183 -haven't I? -Yeah. 585 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,895 You cocked it up. 586 00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:20,024 Do you think she'll ever take me back? 587 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,150 [Greg] I wouldn't. 588 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:22,902 But if you want to find out... 589 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:25,571 you have to man the fuck up. 590 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,326 You really nailed it that time. 591 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:32,161 -I don't need your approval. -Okay. 592 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:33,871 But thank you. 593 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,917 -[♪ upbeat music playing] -[people chattering] 594 00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:41,253 Bobby Orr. 595 00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:43,088 Native of Kitchener, Ontario. 596 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:44,882 Who gives a shit? I cannot believe 597 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,759 that you spoke to Archie. 598 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,012 -I was promised you'd eventually love me for it. -[scoffs] 599 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:51,764 He wants to see me tomorrow. 600 00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:54,016 He says that he thinks he's found a path back. 601 00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:55,517 Alright, that's a good thing, yeah? 602 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,853 Why, because he's stopped banging that girl, 603 00:23:57,895 --> 00:24:00,272 so I'm supposed to run home and rip off all my clothes? 604 00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:03,192 I-- I seriously doubt that that is his "path back" idea. 605 00:24:03,233 --> 00:24:05,444 -[scoffs] -I know you're mad. 606 00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:06,779 I have a question. 607 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,114 Do you still love him? 608 00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,953 [sighs] Shit. 609 00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:18,040 You know, I never really told you 610 00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,458 why your mom and I split up. 611 00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:20,876 She cheated on you. 612 00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:22,544 Oh, good, so you're in the loop. 613 00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:24,588 [chuckles] No, uh... 614 00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:26,757 my biggest regret... 615 00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:30,260 was that I didn't fight for her. 616 00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:35,349 If you love him, don't be a coward like I was. 617 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,227 If I say that I will go and see him, 618 00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:40,437 will you please stop telling me to do things 619 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,856 -that I don't want to do? -Promise. 620 00:24:44,775 --> 00:24:46,902 -Also, try to be kind. -Jesus Christ. 621 00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:48,737 I-- You're going to want to say some stuff 622 00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:50,948 that's really horrible to him, and he deserves it. 623 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,491 -Yeah. -But there are certain things 624 00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:54,576 you can't take back, honey. 625 00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:56,829 And I am speaking from experience. 626 00:24:58,372 --> 00:24:59,873 That's all. Go see him. 627 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:03,085 Try to be kind. That's it. [chuckles] 628 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,461 Okay, I'm gonna head out. 629 00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:08,924 Love you. I will drop by tomorrow morning 630 00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:10,634 after I see Walt 631 00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:12,720 -and say farewell. -Dad? 632 00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:16,640 Do you wanna stay and hang? 633 00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:19,018 Always. 634 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:21,854 Yes, I do. 635 00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:23,814 -[claps] -[Katie] Okay. 636 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:25,816 [♪ upbeat music playing] 637 00:25:25,858 --> 00:25:28,444 [indistinct chatter] 638 00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:31,155 -[dog barking] -Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 639 00:25:32,990 --> 00:25:35,159 [Walt] Fifteen minutes at 185 degrees, 640 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,952 at least three times a week. 641 00:25:36,994 --> 00:25:39,371 Speeds up the metabolism, flushes out the toxins, 642 00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:41,790 and is clinically proven to lower your chance 643 00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:43,459 of dementia by 53%. 644 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,210 And aren't you a lucky guy? 645 00:25:45,252 --> 00:25:47,463 You have all that fur to keep the heat in. 646 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:49,131 Yeah, I feel lucky. 647 00:25:49,173 --> 00:25:51,300 Can't say I'm pleased you turned down 648 00:25:51,341 --> 00:25:53,177 -my job offer. -Sorry. 649 00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:54,970 Has it been 15 minutes yet? 650 00:25:55,012 --> 00:25:56,972 Ninety seconds, Greg. Boy, you're gonna love 651 00:25:57,014 --> 00:25:58,849 the contrast with the cold plunge. 652 00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:01,560 -I can't wait. -I am happy to see things 653 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:04,229 are turning the corner for Archie and, and Katie. 654 00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:06,648 -Mm. -Would have been a shame to have to let her go. 655 00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:08,692 -Excuse me? -Well, if this drama 656 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:10,402 got outta hand, I had to pick one. 657 00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:13,822 He's got the tenure and the Wallace Fellowship, so-- 658 00:26:13,864 --> 00:26:16,492 Nobody cares about that. 659 00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:17,785 [Greg sighs] 660 00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,329 Have you ever been married, Walt? 661 00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:21,538 I am married now. 662 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:24,208 -Wow. Oh. -Joanie, she loves to travel. 663 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:25,584 I don't. 664 00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:28,253 So, we do two months together, two months apart, 665 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,214 and then we just repeat that the rest of the year. 666 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:31,507 She'll be back in a few weeks. 667 00:26:31,548 --> 00:26:33,383 [chuckles] I can't wait. 668 00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:36,512 Sounds like you've solved marriage. 669 00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:38,013 I have, Greg. 670 00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:40,015 [Greg] Mm-hmm, yeah. You're lucky. 671 00:26:40,057 --> 00:26:41,183 [inhales sharply] 672 00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,811 When you get your heart broken, it's... 673 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,356 it's... Ah, whatever. 674 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:49,858 -Never mind. -What do you mean, never mind? 675 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:53,904 Number three, "hothouse is for real talk." 676 00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:55,906 You had that made up professionally? 677 00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:57,533 I made it, in woodshop. 678 00:26:57,574 --> 00:26:59,451 -Nice. -Yep. 679 00:26:59,493 --> 00:27:00,577 Uh... 680 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:04,373 When you get your heart broken, 681 00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:06,500 it feels like somebody shot you in the face. 682 00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:09,753 It doesn't matter if it's been five years. 683 00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:12,881 You just... 684 00:27:12,923 --> 00:27:16,593 you feel like you're never gonna bounce back, you know? 685 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,722 Can't let that happen to Katie. 686 00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:22,015 Hmm. 687 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:25,227 -Alright. -[thumping] 688 00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:26,728 Ah, Katie. 689 00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:28,564 Uh, I'm not gonna sit down 'cause I don't know 690 00:27:28,564 --> 00:27:30,566 -where you guys have had sex, so I'm gonna pace. -Right, okay. 691 00:27:30,607 --> 00:27:32,734 -That's actually something I'd love to say to you-- -Uh, look, I wanted to say 692 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:34,903 -that to start off-- -No, hold on, listen, I really need to tell you something-- 693 00:27:34,945 --> 00:27:36,989 -No. No. -No, no, if I can just go first and then-- 694 00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,575 Sit down! I'm trying really hard not to lose my shit here, 695 00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:41,410 and your interrupting me is not helping. 696 00:27:41,451 --> 00:27:43,120 Please, sit down and shut up. 697 00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,956 -[sighs] -Unfortunately, I was gonna say 698 00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:47,666 that you actually should start, 699 00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:49,585 but there's nothing that you could say 700 00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:53,005 that would help me understand how you could do this to me. 701 00:27:53,046 --> 00:27:54,798 And you didn't even try to explain yourself. 702 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,091 Are you fucking serious? 703 00:27:56,133 --> 00:27:58,093 -Trying to-- -Archie, that's when you get 704 00:27:58,135 --> 00:28:01,430 when those women on Dateline snap and poison their husbands. 705 00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:03,599 Because I have thought about killing you. 706 00:28:03,599 --> 00:28:05,267 And I know it's not smart to say out loud, 707 00:28:05,309 --> 00:28:07,603 in case something weird happens and you do die, 708 00:28:07,603 --> 00:28:09,688 and then somebody else in the bar is like, "Well, I heard her-- 709 00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:11,440 I heard her talking about how she'd kill her husband." 710 00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:13,150 But we're not in a bar, so I feel pretty safe. 711 00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:14,651 I could so murder you. 712 00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:15,903 Good lord. 713 00:28:17,571 --> 00:28:19,072 But my dad told me to be kind. 714 00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,744 I just don't know how to get there. 715 00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:28,498 [sighs] 716 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:29,833 I love you. 717 00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,755 And I think we can get through this. 718 00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:41,345 [sighs] Okay. 719 00:28:44,598 --> 00:28:45,933 Now, you talk. 720 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:52,689 Uh... 721 00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:57,027 It doesn't matter what you say. Just say something. 722 00:28:58,528 --> 00:29:00,697 Sh-- She didn't go to the dentist. 723 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,158 Okay, it matters a little. It can't just be gibberish. 724 00:29:03,158 --> 00:29:06,036 Sunny said that she was going to the dentist, 725 00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:08,789 -but she went to the doctor's. -Well, dentists are doctors. 726 00:29:12,084 --> 00:29:13,418 She's pregnant. 727 00:29:13,460 --> 00:29:14,544 [inhales sharply] 728 00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:18,340 -[sighs deeply] -This is what I was-- I just found out. 729 00:29:18,382 --> 00:29:20,550 I love you, Katie. 730 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:23,095 I-- I was gonna beg for you to take me back. 731 00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:24,930 I have-- I have this speech where I explain everything, 732 00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:26,265 but I don't make any excuses. 733 00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:27,683 It's really good. I can still say it. 734 00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:29,810 -Get out. -Okay. 735 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:32,729 This is my house. 736 00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:34,731 Please get out, please get out, please get out. 737 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:35,774 Uh... 738 00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:44,741 -I really do love you, Katie. -Fuck you. 739 00:29:45,284 --> 00:29:46,868 Do-- do you know how long you're gonna be? 740 00:29:46,910 --> 00:29:48,537 -Get out. -Okay. 741 00:29:48,578 --> 00:29:51,415 -[door opens, closes] -[breathing deeply] 742 00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:54,376 [screaming] 743 00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:56,628 -Are you loving the contrast? -No! 744 00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:58,088 You're activating the brown fat. 745 00:29:58,130 --> 00:29:59,548 Brown fat is not real. 746 00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:01,425 -You don't mean that. -I do. 747 00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:03,885 Now, we're gonna finish by you going under for five. 748 00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:05,178 [inhales deeply] 749 00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:09,933 [shrieking] 750 00:30:11,977 --> 00:30:13,478 Oh! 751 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,814 I don't like it. I don't like it. 752 00:30:15,856 --> 00:30:18,775 -♪ I take one, one, one 'cause you left me ♪ -[sighs deeply] 753 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:21,611 ♪ And two, two, two for my family ♪ 754 00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:24,448 -♪ And three, three, three for my heartache ♪ -[laughing] 755 00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:27,075 ♪ And four, four, four for my headaches ♪ 756 00:30:27,117 --> 00:30:29,911 ♪ And five, five, five for my lonely ♪ 757 00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:32,748 ♪ And six, six, six for my sorrow ♪ 758 00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:35,250 ♪ And seven, seven for n-n-no tomorrow ♪ 759 00:30:35,292 --> 00:30:38,587 ♪ And eight, eight, I forget what eight was for ♪ 760 00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:41,089 ♪ But nine, nine, nine for a lost god ♪ 761 00:30:41,131 --> 00:30:44,176 -♪ Ten, ten, ten, ten for everything ♪ -[groaning] 762 00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:45,719 -[smoke alarm beeping] -Oh, shit. 763 00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:49,473 ♪ Well, you can all just kiss off into the air ♪ 764 00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:51,600 [gasps] Oh, ah, ah! No! 765 00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:53,101 No. No, no, no, no, no. 766 00:30:53,143 --> 00:30:54,895 Uh... ow! 767 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,189 Ow. Ah! 768 00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:58,357 ♪ They do it all the time ♪ 769 00:30:58,398 --> 00:30:59,524 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 770 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:01,443 -[flame whooshes] -[gasps] 771 00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:02,611 Oh, my, no. 772 00:31:03,111 --> 00:31:06,323 ♪ Do it all the time, time, time, time, time, time, time ♪ 773 00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:10,535 -♪ Do it all the time ♪ -[flames whooshing] 774 00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:13,997 Hey, Beth, I know you said that I didn't need to go see Katie, 775 00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:17,626 but I did, and I'm glad that I did. 776 00:31:17,667 --> 00:31:20,837 -And I am so, so cold. -[sirens wailing] 777 00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:23,965 Call me when you can. Bye. 778 00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:25,550 [sirens continue] 779 00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:27,552 -[people chattering] -[police radio chatter] 780 00:31:29,179 --> 00:31:30,847 Oh, my gosh. 781 00:31:34,101 --> 00:31:36,311 Why would you make me talk to him? 782 00:31:36,353 --> 00:31:37,813 -Hey, folks. -[Greg] Oh, no, this guy. 783 00:31:37,854 --> 00:31:40,357 -I was with you all morning. -Wait, what? 784 00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:42,150 Ma'am. Blowjob guy. 785 00:31:42,192 --> 00:31:43,985 Hey. 786 00:31:44,027 --> 00:31:45,987 You guys wouldn't happen to know what's going on here 787 00:31:46,029 --> 00:31:47,864 -with this fire, would you? -[Greg] No. 788 00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:50,117 She was with me all morning. 789 00:31:51,368 --> 00:31:52,577 No, I wasn't. 790 00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:54,663 -Huh. -Seriously? 791 00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:58,333 Okay, so immediately, conflicting stories. 792 00:31:58,375 --> 00:31:59,668 Why don't you both stay here? 793 00:31:59,709 --> 00:32:01,169 I'm gonna go grab my pen. 794 00:32:01,211 --> 00:32:02,379 Do not leave. 795 00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:06,842 Where's my pen? [clapping] 796 00:32:07,134 --> 00:32:08,510 -Who's got my pen? -Ah. 797 00:32:08,552 --> 00:32:11,012 -[both sucking teeth] -Shoot. 798 00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:14,683 ♪ I laugh at me, I'm trying, trying ♪ 799 00:32:14,724 --> 00:32:18,687 ♪ Falling sometimes, sometimes flying ♪ 800 00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:22,732 ♪ Cry me an ocean of one-liners ♪ 801 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:26,570 ♪ Cruel, cruel, cruel ♪ 802 00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:30,365 ♪ Sticks and stones, you know the rhyme ♪ 803 00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:34,536 ♪ You know it landed hard this time ♪ 804 00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:37,080 ♪ Look who tried too hard ♪ 805 00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:40,667 ♪ To play it cool, oh ♪ 806 00:32:42,252 --> 00:32:46,047 ♪ We laugh and move on with our lives ♪ 807 00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:49,968 ♪ I'm bootstrap pained, but never mind ♪ 808 00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:55,557 ♪ I'll find a way to rewrite our beginnings ♪ 809 00:32:55,599 --> 00:32:56,975 ♪ Oh ♪ 810 00:32:58,685 --> 00:33:02,147 ♪ Oh, I, oh, I ♪ 811 00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:06,234 ♪ Oh, I, oh, I ♪ 812 00:33:06,526 --> 00:33:10,238 ♪ Oh, I, oh, I ♪ 813 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,116 ♪ I played the fool ♪ 814 00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:15,076 [laughter] 815 00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:17,037 [child] Bye-bye. [blows raspberries]