1 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,826 Hi, ready to order? 2 00:00:04,828 --> 00:00:06,744 Do you have anything that's really special? 3 00:00:06,746 --> 00:00:09,998 Not according to my high school guidance counselor. 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,866 I'll have the veggie plate. 5 00:00:11,868 --> 00:00:13,835 But instead of beets, I want kale. 6 00:00:13,837 --> 00:00:16,337 And instead of broccoli, more kale. 7 00:00:16,339 --> 00:00:18,339 I want the veggies steamed. 8 00:00:18,341 --> 00:00:20,074 And instead of dressing, I want lemons. 9 00:00:20,076 --> 00:00:22,010 Don't you need to write this down? 10 00:00:22,012 --> 00:00:23,845 I'm afraid if I start writing that down, 11 00:00:23,847 --> 00:00:27,131 it'll turn into a suicide note. 12 00:00:27,133 --> 00:00:28,550 I'm assuming this table's gonna have 13 00:00:28,552 --> 00:00:30,185 a lot more of those requests. 14 00:00:30,187 --> 00:00:33,221 Yes, I could tell by the hats. 15 00:00:43,182 --> 00:00:46,401 Earl, I have something new I want you to try. 16 00:00:46,403 --> 00:00:48,319 That's the exact same sentence 17 00:00:48,321 --> 00:00:51,272 that got me hooked on cocaine in the '80s. 18 00:00:51,274 --> 00:00:53,708 It's my new cupcake flavor. 19 00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:57,295 Delicious dark chocolate the ladies can't help but love. 20 00:00:57,297 --> 00:00:59,497 I'm calling it "The Earl." 21 00:00:59,499 --> 00:01:02,383 I know you got that right. 22 00:01:02,385 --> 00:01:03,635 Hi, I'm here. 23 00:01:03,637 --> 00:01:05,786 I was running late so I decided to hail a cab. 24 00:01:05,788 --> 00:01:07,955 And then I remembered I didn't have any money on me. 25 00:01:07,957 --> 00:01:10,341 And then I remembered I didn't have any money at all. 26 00:01:10,343 --> 00:01:13,011 So I walked the whole way here. 27 00:01:13,013 --> 00:01:15,263 The apartment's three blocks away. 28 00:01:15,265 --> 00:01:16,314 Yes, I know. 29 00:01:16,316 --> 00:01:18,799 Three blocks and 15 "Hola chicas" away. 30 00:01:18,801 --> 00:01:21,352 Well, you can't be late again. 31 00:01:21,354 --> 00:01:23,271 I'm already worried about me being late... 32 00:01:23,273 --> 00:01:25,473 every month. 33 00:01:25,475 --> 00:01:28,526 On my way here, a homeless man asked me for money. 34 00:01:28,528 --> 00:01:30,945 And I told him that I usually always give, 35 00:01:30,947 --> 00:01:33,414 but that my father was indicted in a Ponzi scandal 36 00:01:33,416 --> 00:01:36,417 and I've lost my family fortune and my Manhattan townhouse, 37 00:01:36,419 --> 00:01:38,819 so I've been sleeping on a couch in Brooklyn, 38 00:01:38,821 --> 00:01:40,788 but, in spite of it all, I'm still optimistic 39 00:01:40,790 --> 00:01:42,540 that you and I will achieve success 40 00:01:42,542 --> 00:01:45,326 in our exciting new cupcake business venture. 41 00:01:50,550 --> 00:01:52,884 I prefer to think of Bob near the bridge 42 00:01:52,886 --> 00:01:54,469 as our first investor. 43 00:01:54,471 --> 00:01:57,355 Pickup! Special sandwich. 44 00:01:57,357 --> 00:01:59,724 I can think of even more special sandwich. 45 00:01:59,726 --> 00:02:04,362 You, me and the hot blonde giraffe. 46 00:02:04,364 --> 00:02:07,031 Well, she recently lost her dignity, 47 00:02:07,033 --> 00:02:08,666 so you might have a shot. 48 00:02:08,668 --> 00:02:11,736 Hello today! 49 00:02:11,738 --> 00:02:13,404 I have nametag for you. 50 00:02:13,406 --> 00:02:16,374 Only your second day and look, nametag already. 51 00:02:16,376 --> 00:02:18,993 As new owner, I am killing it. 52 00:02:18,995 --> 00:02:20,027 Thank you. 53 00:02:20,029 --> 00:02:21,462 Oh, it says "Carolin." 54 00:02:21,464 --> 00:02:23,414 It's Caroline. With an "E." 55 00:02:23,416 --> 00:02:25,199 I'm Caroline. 56 00:02:25,201 --> 00:02:27,719 As new owner, I am sucking it. 57 00:02:27,721 --> 00:02:29,704 Just put it on. 58 00:02:29,706 --> 00:02:31,389 You can't tell an Asian he made a mistake. 59 00:02:31,391 --> 00:02:34,359 He'll go in the back and throw himself on a sword. 60 00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:36,010 Thank you, Mr. Lee. 61 00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:37,395 You may call me Han. 62 00:02:37,397 --> 00:02:39,013 H-a-n. 63 00:02:39,015 --> 00:02:40,932 No trap in my name. 64 00:02:40,934 --> 00:02:43,234 I'm thinking we should take 65 00:02:43,236 --> 00:02:45,486 the first step in our new cupcake business 66 00:02:45,488 --> 00:02:47,555 by writing "Max's Homemade Cupcakes" 67 00:02:47,557 --> 00:02:48,890 up on the specials board. 68 00:02:48,892 --> 00:02:50,558 No, I can't have my name up there. 69 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,745 Everyone I owe money to thinks I live in Seattle. 70 00:02:53,747 --> 00:02:57,999 Oh, we used to own Seattle. 71 00:02:58,001 --> 00:03:00,251 Max, we've got to get the name out there. 72 00:03:00,253 --> 00:03:01,285 Create a buzz. 73 00:03:01,287 --> 00:03:02,370 Ooh, good idea! 74 00:03:02,372 --> 00:03:03,287 Let's create a buzz. 75 00:03:03,289 --> 00:03:04,555 Exactly, in order to launch-- 76 00:03:04,557 --> 00:03:07,041 I'm mocking you. 77 00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:08,926 When in doubt, I'm always mocking you. 78 00:03:08,928 --> 00:03:10,428 Seriously, Max. 79 00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:12,797 This new cupcake business is our lifeline. 80 00:03:12,799 --> 00:03:14,549 A way out for both of us. 81 00:03:14,551 --> 00:03:17,552 And I wanna thank you again for letting me move in. 82 00:03:17,554 --> 00:03:19,804 If there's anything I can do to help you-- 83 00:03:19,806 --> 00:03:22,473 You mean besides starting to wait on tables? 84 00:03:22,475 --> 00:03:23,891 I meant, anything I can do 85 00:03:23,893 --> 00:03:26,527 to help you through your breakup with Robbie. 86 00:03:26,529 --> 00:03:29,947 Oh. Thanks, but I'm fine. 87 00:03:29,949 --> 00:03:31,015 And we're working. 88 00:03:31,017 --> 00:03:33,401 Well, one of us is. 89 00:03:33,403 --> 00:03:35,253 Are you sure you're fine? 90 00:03:35,255 --> 00:03:37,455 'Cause I heard you crying last night. 91 00:03:37,457 --> 00:03:38,790 I don't cry. 92 00:03:38,792 --> 00:03:43,294 I sold my tear ducts to an organ bank for cash two years ago. 93 00:03:43,296 --> 00:03:44,862 I was on the couch. 94 00:03:44,864 --> 00:03:47,715 And I heard you crying alone in your bedroom. 95 00:03:47,717 --> 00:03:50,551 Really? What did the crying sound like? 96 00:03:50,553 --> 00:03:55,807 Like... 97 00:03:57,292 --> 00:03:58,676 I wasn't crying. 98 00:03:58,678 --> 00:03:59,894 Well, then what were you d-- 99 00:03:59,896 --> 00:04:03,464 Oh! So none of my business. 100 00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:05,933 That's right. And remember that. 101 00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:07,301 Got it. 102 00:04:07,303 --> 00:04:08,603 In fact, let's just say that anything having to do 103 00:04:08,605 --> 00:04:11,489 with my bedroom, my tables, or my life-- 104 00:04:11,491 --> 00:04:12,573 you should stay away from. 105 00:04:12,575 --> 00:04:13,974 Boundaries. Got it. 106 00:04:13,976 --> 00:04:17,645 And please don't tell anyone at work 107 00:04:17,647 --> 00:04:19,147 I let you move into my apartment. 108 00:04:19,149 --> 00:04:21,649 That is one boundary we both don't want crossed. 109 00:04:21,651 --> 00:04:23,618 Why? 110 00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:25,620 Hey, roomies. 111 00:04:25,622 --> 00:04:27,805 That's why. 112 00:04:34,052 --> 00:04:35,384 Hope those sheets are okay. 113 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,626 Oh, don't worry about it. 114 00:04:36,746 --> 00:04:38,161 I know they're the best you could afford. 115 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,946 Not really. The good ones are on my bed. 116 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,198 Max, that oven is so hot. 117 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,517 Could you do me a favor and open the back door? 118 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:47,618 We've known each other two days 119 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,020 and you're already asking for back door? 120 00:04:57,462 --> 00:04:59,463 Dear God! 121 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,799 I forgot you're Equestrian Barbie. 122 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,485 You came with a horse. 123 00:05:04,487 --> 00:05:06,304 No. 124 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,206 Out, horse, bad! Bad horse. 125 00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:15,096 Chestnut. 126 00:05:15,098 --> 00:05:18,482 No need to yell, he's a champion. 127 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,434 Champion stink bomb. 128 00:05:20,436 --> 00:05:22,520 It's smelling pretty ripe out in that yard. 129 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,656 That's not Chestnut, that's Brooklyn. 130 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:28,058 Okay, well, I'm watching "The Champion" 131 00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:33,364 drop some steaming hot "Brooklyn" right now. 132 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,484 Max, I've been thinking about how you completely overreacted 133 00:05:36,486 --> 00:05:38,502 to your name up on the specials board. 134 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,538 Do you think it's a fear of success? 135 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:44,091 I am too poor to have a fear of success. 136 00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,710 At Wharton Business School, we learned 137 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:48,179 that every new venture can bring up a certain amount of fear. 138 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,348 Is there any way to do a yelp review 139 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,633 of Wharton Business School? 140 00:05:52,635 --> 00:05:55,970 Maybe you're having a hard time imagining 141 00:05:55,972 --> 00:05:57,938 this cupcake business could ever even happen 142 00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:01,275 because nobody ever believed in you or your dreams. 143 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:02,510 I'm guessing. 144 00:06:02,512 --> 00:06:05,429 I can make this happen, Max. 145 00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:07,765 For me, for you, for us. 146 00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,900 Just keep making those amazing cupcakes. 147 00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:12,603 And I'll do the rest till you believe. 148 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,071 I believe everything you just said 149 00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:17,291 and that children are the future. 150 00:06:36,461 --> 00:06:38,546 Max, it's me! 151 00:06:38,548 --> 00:06:41,632 I know it's you. 152 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,651 You sleep with a knife under your pillow? 153 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:47,938 It's the only home security system I can afford. 154 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:50,140 And I'm a cutter. 155 00:06:50,142 --> 00:06:52,827 I can't sleep on that couch. 156 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:56,997 I think Ikea might be the Scandinavian word for sciatica. 157 00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:59,483 And there's weird sounds in the street. 158 00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:01,836 And I don't have my white noise machine. 159 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,454 Well, that's Puerto Rican noise. 160 00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:04,655 You'll get used to it. 161 00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,925 Can I just lay down here and get a little sleep? 162 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,845 I don't even let the men I sleep with sleep with me. 163 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,597 I can't get into your issues right now. 164 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,633 I just need to sleep! 165 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:19,270 Fine, get in then. 166 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,805 What is that? 167 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:24,442 Potato chips. I sleep-eat. 168 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,927 Cool ranch and bacon? 169 00:07:26,929 --> 00:07:29,012 Dude, they're delicious. 170 00:07:29,014 --> 00:07:31,115 Because of your breakup with Robbie? 171 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,399 Just get in. 172 00:07:32,401 --> 00:07:35,653 I have to be in the city to babysit in five hours. 173 00:07:40,859 --> 00:07:42,526 Oh, great, you're like a nightlight. 174 00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:47,298 You're so blonde. 175 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,000 Thank you. 176 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:55,723 Max, someone's in the living room. 177 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:58,392 Max, someone's in the bedroom! 178 00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,810 Robbie! 179 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,612 What's up, babe? 180 00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,314 Robbie, what are you doing here? 181 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,715 We broke up. 182 00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,684 Still? 183 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,569 Yes, still. You hit on me. 184 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,321 And then she caught you with someone else 185 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,722 in these very sheets. 186 00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:14,608 Which I'm hoping she washed. 187 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:15,826 Oh, I get it. 188 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,496 You blew me off 'cause you like the ladies. 189 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,198 Which is cool. I like the ladies, too. 190 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,834 And right now, it's the two ladies I like. 191 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,836 Robbie, if I were gonna go lesbian, 192 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:29,456 she would be the last "les" I'd "bian." 193 00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:31,091 Listen, babe-- 194 00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,242 You really hurt her. 195 00:08:32,244 --> 00:08:33,344 Stop. 196 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,347 She sleep-eats trans fats thanks to you. 197 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,415 Here, stuff all of these in your mouth. 198 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:43,086 Got it, your thing. I'll be quiet. 199 00:08:43,088 --> 00:08:45,105 Robbie, this isn't cool at all. 200 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,257 Mm-mm. 201 00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:49,426 Showing up here after what you did? 202 00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:51,261 You go, girl. 203 00:08:51,263 --> 00:08:54,565 I have something to say to you and you had better listen. 204 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:58,602 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo. 205 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:01,939 What are you, the relationship ghost? 206 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,407 Robbie, just go! 207 00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:06,377 I can't say what I need to in front of the relationship ghost. 208 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,212 I'll call you to come get your stuff 209 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,330 and we can talk then. 210 00:09:09,332 --> 00:09:10,614 Leave the key. 211 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:14,718 Straight up, Max, you're breaking my heart. 212 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,838 You're the only woman that I feel this way about. 213 00:09:21,676 --> 00:09:24,094 Here. 214 00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,347 Ladies, I don't know what's going on here, 215 00:09:26,349 --> 00:09:29,567 but it would've been a lot sexier if I was in it. 216 00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:34,905 Are you okay? 217 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,307 If you wanna talk, I'm here. 218 00:09:37,309 --> 00:09:40,494 Can I get a hit off that? 219 00:09:45,984 --> 00:09:49,653 You think these are good? 220 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:52,773 God, we're poor. 221 00:09:57,979 --> 00:09:59,046 Morning! 222 00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:00,664 It's a beautiful day. 223 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:04,285 These shades belong down. 224 00:10:04,287 --> 00:10:06,387 From now on, think of me as a vampire 225 00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:09,139 without all the annoying marketing. 226 00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:10,391 Bad news. 227 00:10:10,393 --> 00:10:12,977 A pipe broke in the street so the water's off. 228 00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,729 Good news, when I went out to get us two coffees, 229 00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:19,016 I spoke to Juan and Javier, two city workers. 230 00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:22,119 And they assured me the water'll be on no later than 3:00. 231 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,570 I also stopped at the health food store 232 00:10:23,572 --> 00:10:25,356 and got us a fresh-squeezed juice to split. 233 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,124 It's ginger-apple-strawberry. 234 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,358 That was the name of the hooker 235 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,662 who had this apartment before me. 236 00:10:33,531 --> 00:10:34,832 What is this? 237 00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,250 From me. 238 00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:38,469 It says "Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed last night." 239 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:42,006 I prefer my usual cash on the bedside table. 240 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:45,042 When I went to the cute coffee place, 241 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,377 I spoke to the counter girl, Nabulangi-- 242 00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:50,147 If someone named Nabulangi is making an appearance 243 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,132 in the first sentence, I have to sit down. 244 00:10:52,134 --> 00:10:55,218 And she said her manager'll be in at 11:00. 245 00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:57,721 So I thought I'd chanel it up, 246 00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:58,889 walk on over there, 247 00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,558 introduce myself and your fabulous cupcakes. 248 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:04,778 That's exactly what I was gonna do. 249 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,531 I'm just gonna go say good-bye to Chestnut and get going. 250 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,416 You know, having only one cute outfit 251 00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:14,855 takes hours off getting dressed. 252 00:11:14,857 --> 00:11:18,625 Oh. That is a lot of fresh Brooklyn. 253 00:11:18,627 --> 00:11:20,077 Morning, Chestnut. 254 00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,046 It's a beautiful-- 255 00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:26,249 No. Way. 256 00:11:36,428 --> 00:11:40,981 Look, Chanel Number Two. 257 00:11:40,983 --> 00:11:44,601 Tell me it's mud. 258 00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:46,269 T-tell me it's mud. 259 00:11:46,271 --> 00:11:48,789 It's mud? 260 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,207 What is that? 261 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,627 A carrot? 262 00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:56,830 There's carrots in the mud? 263 00:12:00,802 --> 00:12:02,970 There's no water. 264 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,339 Oh, get it off me, please. 265 00:12:05,341 --> 00:12:06,340 Please do something. 266 00:12:06,342 --> 00:12:08,475 Just get it off me, get it off me. 267 00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:09,510 Stop! 268 00:12:09,512 --> 00:12:10,961 This is dry-clean only. 269 00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:13,130 Max, please, please take me 270 00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:16,183 somewhere they have a hot shower, I beg of you. 271 00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:17,636 Calm down, it's just mud. 272 00:12:17,756 --> 00:12:19,153 Max, please-- 273 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,739 Don't touch me! 274 00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:28,037 Thank you so much for taking me to shower 275 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,222 at your babysitting job. 276 00:12:29,224 --> 00:12:31,073 Well, I didn't have much of a choice. 277 00:12:31,075 --> 00:12:33,509 You pulled the pillow knife on me. 278 00:12:33,511 --> 00:12:34,710 I'll just introduce myself to your boss 279 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,695 and tell her what happened. 280 00:12:36,697 --> 00:12:37,713 Look, I don't want Peach to know you were here. 281 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,832 This is a job. Not a meet-and-greet. 282 00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,033 Got it. 283 00:12:41,035 --> 00:12:42,552 You get in there, you take a five-minute shower, 284 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:44,036 clean it up and go. 285 00:12:44,038 --> 00:12:46,656 Fine, I'll hide in the hallway till she's gone. 286 00:12:46,658 --> 00:12:50,059 No need, just follow me in. She never really looks at me. 287 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,394 Morning! 288 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:54,013 Hi, Max. 289 00:12:54,015 --> 00:12:56,682 Go! 290 00:12:56,684 --> 00:12:57,716 Hey, Peach. 291 00:12:57,718 --> 00:12:59,602 Uh, hair and makeup. 292 00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:00,853 What's the big occasion? 293 00:13:00,855 --> 00:13:03,105 Pilates. 294 00:13:03,107 --> 00:13:05,224 Max, good news. 295 00:13:05,226 --> 00:13:08,160 They found a way to make diamonds more sparkly? 296 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:12,031 I got Brad and Angelina a playdate 297 00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:14,333 with another set of twins in the building. 298 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,668 It starts in five minutes. 299 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:16,786 Cool, what are their names? 300 00:13:16,788 --> 00:13:18,904 6B. 301 00:13:18,906 --> 00:13:20,873 Bye-bye, Brangelina. 302 00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,341 Mommy loves you. 303 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,427 Guys? Before you leave, 304 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,678 stop at this one. 305 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,079 Angelina could use a little help. 306 00:13:27,081 --> 00:13:30,099 Contour that neck, she's a fatty. 307 00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:31,884 Peach, come on, that's baby fat. 308 00:13:31,886 --> 00:13:34,387 Still, kids can be cruel. 309 00:13:34,389 --> 00:13:37,189 Don't you listen to your mommy, Angelina. 310 00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,358 She never eats. 311 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,528 Oh, no, she doesn't. 312 00:13:44,231 --> 00:13:45,915 Here it is. 313 00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:47,400 Caroline with an "E." 314 00:13:47,402 --> 00:13:49,601 I have your new and correct nametag. 315 00:13:49,603 --> 00:13:50,987 Oh, thank you, Han. 316 00:13:50,989 --> 00:13:53,939 Oh. 317 00:13:53,941 --> 00:13:56,158 I've seen something I should not have. 318 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,778 I will just put correct nametag here on counter. 319 00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:04,250 So sorry, but many thank yous. 320 00:14:04,252 --> 00:14:05,751 What are you doing? 321 00:14:05,753 --> 00:14:07,970 I know you said you don't want it up there. 322 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,955 But now that you see it... 323 00:14:09,957 --> 00:14:11,641 How does it feel? 324 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,225 It feels like you're not listening to me 325 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,727 at this job or at my other job. 326 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,646 I said a five-minute shower and get out. 327 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:18,230 Did you take a nap at Peach's? 328 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,815 The thread count was calling to me. 329 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,601 Peach found blonde hairs in her bed 330 00:14:22,603 --> 00:14:24,570 and thought her husband was cheating on her. 331 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:27,356 Which he is, but that's not the point. 332 00:14:27,358 --> 00:14:30,026 You almost ruined a perfectly happy fake marriage, 333 00:14:30,028 --> 00:14:31,694 and there are innocent children involved. 334 00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:34,196 Well, I have some good news. 335 00:14:34,198 --> 00:14:35,815 Look, it's Nabulangi. 336 00:14:35,817 --> 00:14:37,833 I invited her in to taste your amazing cupcakes. 337 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,453 And when she loves them, we'll have an in at her bakery. 338 00:14:40,455 --> 00:14:42,038 Come over and say hello. 339 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,323 No, I can't now. I wanna call Robbie before we get too busy. 340 00:14:44,325 --> 00:14:46,008 Tell him when to come over and get his stuff. 341 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,209 Max, wait. 342 00:14:47,211 --> 00:14:48,778 No, don't distract me. 343 00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:50,429 I wanna sound cool and hot and all like, 344 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,332 "You can't have me anymore, sucka." 345 00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:54,433 Max-- 346 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,018 Robbie, it's me. 347 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,188 Classy burp on your outgoing message. 348 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,506 Max, I-- 349 00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:01,557 No. 350 00:15:01,559 --> 00:15:03,442 I need you to come get your stuff tomorrow. 351 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,061 I don't know how you've been surviving 352 00:15:05,063 --> 00:15:08,230 without your chin-up bar and Axe body spray. 353 00:15:08,232 --> 00:15:09,198 Max, hang up. 354 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,650 I already called him. 355 00:15:11,652 --> 00:15:13,703 You called Robbie? 356 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:14,787 You've done so much for me. 357 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,622 I wanted to do something for you, too. 358 00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,124 So I called Robbie and I had him come over, 359 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,575 and I gave him his stuff. 360 00:15:19,577 --> 00:15:21,827 Now you won't have to go through with all that mess. 361 00:15:21,829 --> 00:15:25,531 And I think you'd be pleased, I really let him have it. 362 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:28,867 What is with you and boundaries? 363 00:15:28,869 --> 00:15:30,553 You're in my bed, you're in my boss' bed, 364 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,004 and now you go and call Robbie? 365 00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:33,806 You're like-- you're like your big-ass horse. 366 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,707 Charging in everywhere you don't belong. 367 00:15:35,709 --> 00:15:37,876 I thought I was doing you a favor. 368 00:15:37,878 --> 00:15:40,813 In spite of what you say about the sounds I heard 369 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,264 coming from your bedroom the other night, 370 00:15:42,266 --> 00:15:43,899 I know you're upset. 371 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:47,553 I was masturbating. 372 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:51,690 I love my job. 373 00:15:51,692 --> 00:15:55,044 I need to see you outside. Now. 374 00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:57,079 Don't get involved with her. 375 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,064 She takes money from the homeless. 376 00:15:59,066 --> 00:16:01,117 Not true, Bob's an investor. 377 00:16:01,119 --> 00:16:02,334 Be right back. 378 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:05,538 Good cupcake, right? 379 00:16:08,508 --> 00:16:10,042 Max, I don't know how smart that was, 380 00:16:10,044 --> 00:16:12,678 blowing by our only potential business contact. 381 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,048 You stole my breakup scene. 382 00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:17,933 The only remotely good thing about breaking up with a guy 383 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,918 is telling him how much better you are than him 384 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,604 when you give him back his stuff. 385 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,222 I don't know if you noticed, 386 00:16:23,224 --> 00:16:25,107 but my entertainment budget is pretty low 387 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,859 and I was really looking forward to that. 388 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,395 And then you went and stole it. 389 00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:30,946 But I guess you couldn't help it, 390 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,749 'cause that's what you channings do, you steal things. 391 00:16:34,934 --> 00:16:36,452 Huh. 392 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,870 Interesting. 393 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:40,706 Okay, you wanted a breakup scene? 394 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:41,907 You're in one. 395 00:16:41,909 --> 00:16:43,242 I'm breaking up with you. 396 00:16:43,244 --> 00:16:44,443 Oh, okay. 397 00:16:44,445 --> 00:16:46,912 The cupcake business is over, the dream is dead. 398 00:16:46,914 --> 00:16:49,948 Oh, I'm sure Nabulangi will be devastated. 399 00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:52,635 I don't need you or your cupcakes to survive. 400 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:53,836 I'll figure something else out. 401 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:56,639 Because, aside from your constant Wharton putdowns, 402 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,057 I'm a business genius 403 00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,925 and I will always land on my feet. 404 00:16:59,927 --> 00:17:01,227 Oh, really? 405 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,479 'Cause today you kind of landed on your front. 406 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:05,181 We're done. 407 00:17:05,183 --> 00:17:07,466 After work tonight, I'll get my things and be gone. 408 00:17:07,468 --> 00:17:09,819 Ooh, you gonna load up your dream-filled wheelie bag 409 00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:12,471 and ride away on sir muds-a-lot? 410 00:17:12,473 --> 00:17:15,357 Go ahead. Be as negative as you want. 411 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,461 'Cause you're in charge of your own future again. 412 00:17:17,581 --> 00:17:20,344 Oh, joke's on you. I don't have a future. 413 00:17:33,042 --> 00:17:34,309 Max... 414 00:17:34,311 --> 00:17:36,078 Are you up? 415 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,813 No. 416 00:17:37,815 --> 00:17:40,465 Max, are you mad? 417 00:17:40,467 --> 00:17:41,466 Yes. 418 00:17:41,468 --> 00:17:44,252 Are you up and mad? 419 00:17:44,254 --> 00:17:46,722 No and yes. 420 00:17:46,724 --> 00:17:49,174 Oh, your bed's so soft. 421 00:17:49,176 --> 00:17:52,678 That's my boob. 422 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,148 I know I moved out, but I came back. 423 00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:58,633 I took the rest of our dead dream money 424 00:17:58,635 --> 00:18:01,653 and bought some cocktails for myself and some people. 425 00:18:01,655 --> 00:18:03,939 And myself. 426 00:18:03,941 --> 00:18:05,574 Did you bring me back any of those? 427 00:18:05,576 --> 00:18:07,859 'Cause I can't listen to this sober. 428 00:18:07,861 --> 00:18:10,278 Max... 429 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,615 I have nothing. 430 00:18:13,617 --> 00:18:16,451 I really need the cupcake business. 431 00:18:16,453 --> 00:18:19,654 I can be different. 432 00:18:19,656 --> 00:18:20,906 No, you can't. 433 00:18:20,908 --> 00:18:23,792 No, I can't. 434 00:18:23,794 --> 00:18:27,379 But I can be better. 435 00:18:27,381 --> 00:18:28,830 Please? 436 00:18:28,832 --> 00:18:31,600 Please, let's do this. 437 00:18:31,602 --> 00:18:33,802 I know you have a fear of success. 438 00:18:33,804 --> 00:18:37,505 You do, because no one ever believed in your dreams. 439 00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:41,176 But I believe in your dreams. 440 00:18:41,178 --> 00:18:43,195 We have a dream. 441 00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,680 God, you are so drunk. 442 00:18:45,682 --> 00:18:49,618 So you probably won't even remember this. 443 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:54,423 I'm sorry I said that stuff about your father. 444 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,124 Did you hear me? 445 00:18:56,126 --> 00:18:59,861 Max, are you up? 446 00:18:59,863 --> 00:19:05,801 Hey, do you have any more of those poor people chips? 447 00:19:05,803 --> 00:19:10,038 What's up, hangover three? 448 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,306 Why are these up? 449 00:19:11,308 --> 00:19:14,810 I thought we were vampires. 450 00:19:14,812 --> 00:19:17,929 Here, I took the rest of last night's cupcake money, 451 00:19:17,931 --> 00:19:21,867 and brought you a coffee and a fresh juice. 452 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,102 Which means that, after two days in business, 453 00:19:24,104 --> 00:19:27,522 we are $23 down from where we were. 454 00:19:27,524 --> 00:19:31,109 So we're still building our cupcake business? 455 00:19:31,111 --> 00:19:32,327 Sure. 456 00:19:32,329 --> 00:19:34,329 All we need is how much? 457 00:19:34,331 --> 00:19:36,865 $250,000. 458 00:19:36,867 --> 00:19:39,835 Which is awesome. 459 00:19:39,837 --> 00:19:43,121 Max, I'm sorry I crossed all those boundaries. 460 00:19:43,123 --> 00:19:44,339 It's cool. 461 00:19:44,341 --> 00:19:46,291 Me and drunk Caroline worked it all out. 462 00:19:46,293 --> 00:19:48,293 In fact... 463 00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:53,265 She signed this paper. 464 00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:57,202 "I, drunk Caroline, am a..." 465 00:19:57,204 --> 00:19:59,020 What's that word? 466 00:19:59,022 --> 00:20:02,023 Punk ass ho. 467 00:20:02,025 --> 00:20:03,475 Thanks. 468 00:20:03,477 --> 00:20:07,028 "I, drunk Caroline, am a punk ass ho. 469 00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,531 "I promise to keep my big mouth shut, 470 00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:12,451 "and replace all of Max's poor people chips. 471 00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:18,439 I will no longer meddle in her relation-chips." 472 00:20:18,441 --> 00:20:21,793 You laughed about that until you threw up. 473 00:20:21,795 --> 00:20:23,078 Oh, and if you're wondering, 474 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,331 no, the puke stains will not void this contract. 475 00:20:29,618 --> 00:20:32,453 God! 476 00:20:32,455 --> 00:20:34,806 I forgot again that we have a horse. 477 00:20:34,808 --> 00:20:36,308 Max, get him out of here. 478 00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:38,538 He doesn't know I'm a waitress. 479 00:20:41,265 --> 00:20:42,308 Chestnut. 480 00:20:47,636 --> 00:20:48,737 He is a champion. 481 00:20:48,739 --> 00:20:50,523 He learned that a lot faster than you did.