1 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:00,500 No. 2 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:34,800 This is Los Angeles, California, third largest city in the USA, 3 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,100 home of seven million people. 4 00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:41,460 About half of them are women. 5 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,880 The rest are men. 6 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:53,480 This is Olvera Street, the city's original thoroughfare, a Los Angeles 7 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,700 and tourist attraction. 8 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,340 Through preservation and restoration, 9 00:03:59,210 --> 00:04:03,670 Olvera Street is much the same as it was 150 years ago. 10 00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:07,050 It's always been a skin game. 11 00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:55,980 Move along, you creep. You're holding up the line. Like everyone else, you have 12 00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:58,620 to pay your taxes. I cannot pay. I've had a bad year. 13 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:10,980 They want my 14 00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:11,980 last peso. 15 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:16,820 I have no money. And now they want to take my miserable hovel, my cow, my half 16 00:05:16,820 --> 00:05:18,560 acre of land, and my daughter. 17 00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:33,310 still pedro we have no money either all right you people it's april 18 00:05:33,310 --> 00:05:34,490 15th you all know 19 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:12,880 without a centavo. 20 00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:15,900 I pay, I pay. 21 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:22,800 Ah, Chico, how are you and your two lovely daughters today? 22 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,120 We are all fine, Senor Alcalde. I'm glad to hear that, Chico. Then you won't 23 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,860 mind paying your taxes, eh? Two hundred and fifty pesos. 24 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:32,300 Por favor. 25 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,720 I cannot pay that amount. I will not pay that amount. I'll kill you first, you 26 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,720 thieving bastard. 27 00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:50,390 What can we do? 28 00:06:50,670 --> 00:06:52,230 Oh, the horror of it all. 29 00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:59,730 Since your father cannot pay his taxes, you girls must pay. However, we will let 30 00:06:59,730 --> 00:07:00,730 you work it off. 31 00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:07,670 Sergeant Lacio, take charge of these two tasty wenches and collect 250 32 00:07:07,670 --> 00:07:12,910 pesos, plus a fine of 50 pesos for disturbing the feast. 33 00:07:13,870 --> 00:07:15,250 300 pesos? 34 00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:18,790 They'll be 45 years old by the time they pay it. 35 00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:26,960 That's enough of this nice guy shit. 36 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,040 Father in heaven, help us. 37 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,100 Somebody help us. 38 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:34,760 Alejandro, this cannot go on. 39 00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:36,400 We may be next. 40 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,480 Get that body out of here. 41 00:07:40,220 --> 00:07:41,220 Next. 42 00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:44,400 Vincenze. Two hundred pesos. 43 00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:50,060 Luis Bonsario and Esteban Velasquez make a mockery of all that is good and right 44 00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:51,340 in the glorious colonies of old Spain. 45 00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:56,400 Do you know where every peso of that tax money goes? 46 00:07:57,020 --> 00:07:59,160 Into the pockets of Luis and Esteban, that's where. 47 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,180 Thank you very much. Next! 48 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:07,580 How sweet it is. 49 00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:16,320 Manuel Villa, 200 pesos. 50 00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,640 What a score those bums are making. 51 00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:21,780 And I have heard what happens in Bonasaria's offices. 52 00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:23,180 He and... 53 00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:27,690 seduces virgins. He entices faithful wives into adultery. They... 54 00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:32,370 They even have orgies. 55 00:08:34,150 --> 00:08:38,650 Esteban commands the Presidio. He has the entire garrison behind him. 56 00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:44,970 He and Luis work hand in glove to rob, rape, and pillage our people. 57 00:08:45,390 --> 00:08:49,710 We... We are too old to take up swords to avenge these wrongs. 58 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,750 The peons, they... 59 00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:54,100 They have no training in fighting. 60 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,440 Fifty pesos, my friend, Cristina. 61 00:08:57,780 --> 00:08:58,780 Fifty pesos. 62 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,080 Snack! 63 00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:07,140 Alejandro, what can be done? 64 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:08,940 My son Diego. 65 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,020 He's been at the Military Institute Madrid for the last four years. 66 00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:13,760 The Commandante has written me. 67 00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:16,860 Diego is the greatest swordsman and horseman in all of Spain. 68 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,840 I will write to him and he will come home to California. 69 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,420 Yes. Yes! 70 00:09:21,290 --> 00:09:24,850 That is the answer. I knew you would think of something. You must write him 71 00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:28,650 today, Don Alejandro, because tomorrow a ship leaves for Spain. Yes. 72 00:09:28,970 --> 00:09:30,490 Yes. Come. Come. 73 00:09:33,310 --> 00:09:34,350 All right, ladies. 74 00:09:34,810 --> 00:09:39,310 You don't want me to have to use this on you, do you? It would be a shame to 75 00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:42,070 mark up such beautiful bodies. 76 00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:44,830 Now, the commandant will be here in a few minutes. 77 00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:48,390 So, as we say in Spanish, get your clothes on. 78 00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:42,660 Choice. 79 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000 Choice. 80 00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:50,320 I may even say Prime and Commandante. They are both versions. 81 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,700 We shall see, Sergeant. 82 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:56,640 We shall see. 83 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,260 I think I'll take this one, Sergeant. 84 00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:15,619 What's her name? 85 00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:17,260 Her name is Rosita, Commandante. 86 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:24,060 If what Sergeant Lacio says is true, consider yourself fortunate, my little 87 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:28,440 chili pepper, that Captain Esteban Velazquez is your first man. 88 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:33,320 Nice to see you have everything in hand, Sergeant. 89 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,400 Wait till she finds out his saber is bent. 90 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:44,560 Always. That's the way it is in the army. The commandant gets first choice. 91 00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:51,440 But you, my little tamale, are going to get to entertain Sergeant Aletheolatio. 92 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:55,140 You can call me Phil. No, please. 93 00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:56,840 I'm a virgin. 94 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,740 Virgin? Please. I believe it. 95 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,540 But when you do what I want, darling, you'll still be a virgin. 96 00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:13,730 is just a swallow. 97 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:30,780 Just one swallow came back to Capistrano this year. 98 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:44,600 Here they come! 99 00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:46,760 The California cockerel's in the lead. 100 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,540 Ten pesos says he win. 101 00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,120 Here I bet. 102 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,119 Well, he's done it. 103 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:14,120 Pay up. 104 00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:19,060 Lieutenant Rodriguez isn't going to like this. 105 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,740 He thinks he's the best horseman in all of Spain. 106 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,560 Well, at least now he has a rival in Diego de Vega. 107 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,200 Si, but who do you think is the better swordsman? 108 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,100 In a duel or in bed? 109 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:31,920 Bravo, Diego. 110 00:19:32,140 --> 00:19:35,000 San Diego, the Capitano wants to see you in his office immediately. 111 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:36,480 Damn, now what? 112 00:19:36,580 --> 00:19:38,140 Whose heart did you break this time, Diego? 113 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,320 Broken hearts don't bother me. It's the parts that can't be mended that cause 114 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,320 the most trouble. 115 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,080 Tell the comandante I'll be there in a minute. 116 00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:48,360 I want to buy a little gift for Lolita for the party tonight, but now there 117 00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:49,360 won't be time. 118 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,420 Ah, don't worry about the eternal virgin Lolita. Put something in a box and 119 00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:54,420 she's happy. 120 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,840 But I wonder why in the name of heaven she keeps pretending she's a maiden. 121 00:19:58,620 --> 00:19:59,740 Woman's folly, my friend. 122 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000 Woman's folly. 123 00:20:23,820 --> 00:20:24,820 I'll be with you in a moment. 124 00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:32,200 You want to see me, Commandante? 125 00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:34,800 Now, see, I have something for you here. 126 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,400 It's a letter from your father. 127 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:37,760 A letter? 128 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,000 From my father? 129 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,540 My dearest son. 130 00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:55,880 Our fine community is being raped by the new Alcalde. 131 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,640 Our women, too. 132 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:03,420 Come home at once. We need your help to stamp out this heel. 133 00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:06,080 It's signed, Father. 134 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,600 Sir, I must return to help my people. 135 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:18,360 May I have your permission to leave the academy until these renegades are 136 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,360 eliminated? 137 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:20,940 Yes, of course, of course. 138 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,000 We'll miss you, but I understand. 139 00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:25,660 I give my regards to your father. 140 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,000 We'll see you. 141 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,040 Gracias. 142 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,220 I'll leave first thing in the morning. 143 00:21:30,460 --> 00:21:31,460 Good luck. 144 00:22:04,270 --> 00:22:05,270 Over here. 145 00:22:07,730 --> 00:22:09,890 Pablo. Manuel. We heard. 146 00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:14,770 So instead of a party to celebrate Lolita's becoming a fallen woman, 147 00:22:33,870 --> 00:22:35,130 Los Angeles is really so bad. 148 00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:37,410 Terrible occurring to my father. 149 00:22:38,470 --> 00:22:40,030 Terror, villainy, rape. 150 00:22:45,350 --> 00:22:46,870 Let's forget about all that for now. 151 00:22:47,190 --> 00:22:49,050 It's supposed to be a party, to wine. 152 00:28:03,020 --> 00:28:04,500 Bravo, bravo, bravo. 153 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,100 Marvelous exhibition, Diego. 154 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:12,300 But I don't think you really know anything about women or love me. 155 00:28:16,620 --> 00:28:17,620 Oh. 156 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:25,760 You, who walks around in women's clothing when you think no one is 157 00:28:26,020 --> 00:28:28,880 talks to me about women. 158 00:28:32,460 --> 00:28:34,060 Lovemaking? How dare you? 159 00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:36,400 I demand an apology at once. 160 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:40,320 Fuck off. 161 00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:43,740 On guard. 162 00:28:44,180 --> 00:28:45,880 We shall be a fight to the finish. 163 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:49,440 Look, Rodriguez. 164 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:51,720 This whole thing is ridiculous. 165 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:54,840 This is a party. 166 00:28:57,420 --> 00:28:58,600 Join us if you like. 167 00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:01,500 There's plenty of everything to go around. 168 00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:04,220 Get your sword up Diego. 169 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,940 We'll see who the better man is. 170 00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:16,140 I never met a man who wanted to die as much as you do. 171 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,700 I'll kill you and cut them off for souvenirs. 172 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,280 Take your best shot, Rod. 173 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:25,600 Next time, don't wave your sword at someone who has a superior weapon and 174 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:26,600 how to use it. 175 00:31:41,390 --> 00:31:46,450 go so soon yes i have to be on my way to california early in the morning 176 00:31:46,450 --> 00:31:56,170 adios 177 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:25,920 Martinez family is already the ninth family that has fled Los Angeles for 178 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:30,620 City to evade the taxes imposed on them by this vermin, Luis Buenos Aires. 179 00:32:30,940 --> 00:32:37,080 And on the Sabbath, those that come to church, the sadness in their faces, oh, 180 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:38,620 the misery of it all. 181 00:32:39,260 --> 00:32:41,860 Don Alejandro, this cannot go on. 182 00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:47,520 Diego, my son. 183 00:32:49,540 --> 00:32:51,280 Diego. Diego. 184 00:32:53,130 --> 00:32:54,550 It is so good to have you home again. 185 00:32:54,770 --> 00:32:55,810 It's good to be home, Father. 186 00:32:57,150 --> 00:32:58,310 You remember Don Manuel? 187 00:32:59,150 --> 00:33:00,150 Don Manuel. 188 00:33:00,550 --> 00:33:04,530 My father's dearest friend. How are you? Fine, fine. Thank you. And your wife, 189 00:33:04,650 --> 00:33:05,429 Doña Emilia? 190 00:33:05,430 --> 00:33:09,230 Oh, she's fine, too. The family. Your son, Corrito. 191 00:33:09,570 --> 00:33:11,610 Fine, fine. Look how thick and strong he got. 192 00:33:12,870 --> 00:33:16,130 Of course you remember your beloved teacher and priest, Fray Felipe. 193 00:33:17,570 --> 00:33:18,570 Fray Felipe. 194 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,760 Next to my dear father, you are the man I have respected and loved most in this 195 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:23,760 whole world. 196 00:33:24,500 --> 00:33:30,280 Ah, Diego, what a splendid person you have turned out to be. How proud I am 197 00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:31,560 I was your first instructor. 198 00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:38,000 Heaven will surely reward you for answering your father's call on this 199 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,000 need. 200 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,120 So tell me, who was doing what to whom? 201 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:45,960 You went to study in Spain. 202 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,360 Aye. Donald Alejandro Vega. 203 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:54,240 Good, just, and well -liked alcalde of Los Angeles. 204 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,460 A position I held for many years with great honor. 205 00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:04,580 Then one terrible day, this slimy Luis Bonisario arrived in our city 206 00:34:04,580 --> 00:34:06,580 and proclaimed himself the new alcalde. 207 00:34:06,860 --> 00:34:07,900 But how could this happen? 208 00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:10,580 An appointment. The governor himself. 209 00:34:10,980 --> 00:34:12,820 Signed, sealed, and legal. 210 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,980 And to back his appointment came the henchman. 211 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,719 Capitan Esteban Velasquez and Sergeant Filippo Lascio, along with a score of 212 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:21,719 battle -trained soldiers. 213 00:34:22,199 --> 00:34:26,040 But why didn't you write the governor and ask why such a person was appointed 214 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:26,839 your place? 215 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:27,940 I did many times. 216 00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:29,639 And he has never answered those letters. 217 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,280 Obviously, one of two things has happened. 218 00:34:35,679 --> 00:34:37,540 These scoundrels are even tampering with the mail. 219 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:43,440 Or... Or? 220 00:34:43,679 --> 00:34:45,360 The governor himself is a thief. 221 00:34:45,639 --> 00:34:48,960 Diego, with taxes what they are, it won't be long before Buenos Aires owns 222 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:49,819 of Los Angeles. 223 00:34:49,820 --> 00:34:52,980 Already some of our wealthy friends have had to sell out to him. And now he even 224 00:34:52,980 --> 00:34:54,300 wants to tax the mission lands. 225 00:34:54,739 --> 00:34:58,500 This is why your father sent for you. The comandante of the military academy 226 00:34:58,500 --> 00:35:03,240 wrote your father and said you were the greatest horseman and swordsman in all 227 00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:04,058 of Spain. 228 00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:06,500 Oh, my son, how proud I am of you. 229 00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:11,380 Diego, maybe you could form an army and wipe out this Buenos Aires. 230 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,860 Wherever I recruit an army, father, the peons... 231 00:35:15,310 --> 00:35:17,730 No, that would take too long a time. We must act immediately. 232 00:35:18,510 --> 00:35:19,570 What shall we do? 233 00:35:20,290 --> 00:35:22,310 You will carry on as if nothing has happened. 234 00:35:22,790 --> 00:35:27,370 Tomorrow I will visit the Spoonisario and Velazquez at the Presidio in person. 235 00:35:27,590 --> 00:35:28,910 What can you possibly do alone? 236 00:35:33,830 --> 00:35:34,830 Bless you, son. 237 00:35:37,170 --> 00:35:38,630 Well, one can try, can't one? 238 00:35:40,170 --> 00:35:42,930 And now, Papa, Don Manuel, and dear Fray Felipe. 239 00:35:43,950 --> 00:35:46,050 I am literally exhausted from the journey. 240 00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:48,410 You'll excuse me if I go beddy -wise? 241 00:35:50,390 --> 00:35:54,190 Oh, and Don Manuel, please give my very, very best to your son, where he's 242 00:35:54,190 --> 00:35:56,230 going. Tell him I'll be seeing him soon? 243 00:36:03,250 --> 00:36:08,010 These military schools can do funny things to a boy. 244 00:36:41,580 --> 00:36:43,480 Nothing but bills, bills. 245 00:36:44,420 --> 00:36:48,820 Nothing but fucking bills. I think tomorrow we're going to raise the taxes, 246 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:49,920 Esteban, eh? 247 00:37:14,090 --> 00:37:15,290 I am Don Diego de Vega. 248 00:37:15,550 --> 00:37:17,350 I wish to see the Alcalde. 249 00:37:17,630 --> 00:37:19,050 One moment, senor. 250 00:37:22,050 --> 00:37:28,230 One simply must have a parasol to protect one's delicate complexion from 251 00:37:28,230 --> 00:37:29,950 burning rays of the sun. 252 00:37:30,610 --> 00:37:31,690 Si, senor. 253 00:37:32,530 --> 00:37:34,850 Don Diego de Vega to see the Alcalde. 254 00:37:35,070 --> 00:37:36,070 Send him in. 255 00:37:36,550 --> 00:37:37,550 Send him in. 256 00:37:37,890 --> 00:37:39,310 The Alcalde will see you now. 257 00:37:39,850 --> 00:37:40,850 Thank you. 258 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,020 You are very kind. 259 00:37:50,300 --> 00:37:52,700 Your Excellency, I am Don Diego de Vega. 260 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,680 Don Alejandro Vega's son. 261 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,460 Ah, Don Diego, how nice it is to meet you. 262 00:38:04,700 --> 00:38:08,440 Yes, well, Don Diego, I thought that you were in Spain yet at school. 263 00:38:08,900 --> 00:38:10,700 I've had enough of schools, Your Excellency. 264 00:38:12,270 --> 00:38:15,210 I was lonesome for my family, my friends. 265 00:38:18,350 --> 00:38:22,590 I told them to be quiet, but obviously they've had too much wine. 266 00:38:26,270 --> 00:38:33,250 Oh, such fine plumage. Whose closet did he come from? Graciela, 267 00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:37,170 don't be impertinent. This is Don Diego de Vega, son of the former alcalde. 268 00:38:37,890 --> 00:38:39,110 Show some respect. 269 00:38:39,690 --> 00:38:41,870 And I thought I told you to wait for me inside. 270 00:38:42,210 --> 00:38:44,750 Oh, well, it got too hot and we couldn't wait. 271 00:38:46,430 --> 00:38:50,510 Don Diego, forgive us for being so rude, but you've arrived at a most 272 00:38:50,510 --> 00:38:55,290 inopportune time. As you can see, we have some unfinished business to attend 273 00:38:55,450 --> 00:38:57,670 You needn't apologize, Commandante. I understand perfectly. 274 00:38:58,650 --> 00:38:59,650 We can meet again. 275 00:39:00,870 --> 00:39:04,510 Before I leave, though, I wonder if you'd be kind enough to tell me who is 276 00:39:04,510 --> 00:39:05,510 tailor? 277 00:39:07,350 --> 00:39:08,890 How exquisite. 278 00:39:10,090 --> 00:39:12,910 Yes, you are obviously a man of good taste. 279 00:39:14,290 --> 00:39:17,170 I do hope we can meet again soon. 280 00:39:19,450 --> 00:39:24,350 Oh, by the way, Comandante, have you seen this one? 281 00:39:26,430 --> 00:39:28,350 Don Diego, you must excuse us. 282 00:39:28,590 --> 00:39:32,570 We would invite you to join us for the evening, but I'm afraid we don't know 283 00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:36,550 where to find someone to suit your proclivity, eh? 284 00:39:37,050 --> 00:39:38,050 Of course. 285 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:39,880 Another time, Excellency. 286 00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:45,000 You do have the most beautiful things, Comandante. 287 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:47,400 Hasta mañana. 288 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,120 That faggot! 289 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:03,980 Talking to me that way. 290 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,980 I'll give him three feet of cold steel. 291 00:40:08,110 --> 00:40:10,370 He must know you, Esteban, dear. 292 00:40:11,110 --> 00:40:15,650 After all, you do have the most beautiful things. 293 00:40:17,270 --> 00:40:19,770 We'll have no trouble from him, eh, Esteban? 294 00:40:20,650 --> 00:40:23,010 Are you still hot, my little chicken? 295 00:40:23,270 --> 00:40:28,750 Si. And I think there are some things that you should take care of personally. 296 00:40:31,150 --> 00:40:35,450 As for you, Senor Carmadante, you got a big job. 297 00:40:36,750 --> 00:40:38,130 You like the job you have. 298 00:40:38,530 --> 00:40:43,850 Hey, I think maybe from now on you better do what I tell you to do and get 299 00:40:43,850 --> 00:40:48,310 done. Or maybe my friend Don Diego will have a new place. 300 00:43:03,060 --> 00:43:04,380 You can read. 301 00:43:04,700 --> 00:43:05,700 What does it say? 302 00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:13,920 Knowing that Luis Buenos Aires is a thief and a tyrant and cannot long 303 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,140 by justice. 304 00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:16,920 Signed, Zorro. 305 00:43:17,580 --> 00:43:19,640 Zorro? Who the fuck is Zorro? 306 00:43:19,940 --> 00:43:22,400 I don't know, but he tells it like it is. 307 00:43:23,980 --> 00:43:25,140 What's going on? 308 00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:46,120 Only feeling if I could read, this thing gonna piss me off pretty bad. 309 00:44:57,390 --> 00:44:59,130 You in there. Quickly before we're discovered. 310 00:44:59,870 --> 00:45:02,210 Please. Please, leave us alone. 311 00:45:02,690 --> 00:45:04,770 Haven't you had enough for one day? 312 00:45:05,410 --> 00:45:07,690 Have no fear, senorita. I want to help you escape. 313 00:45:08,230 --> 00:45:10,450 Escape? It must be a trick. 314 00:45:11,530 --> 00:45:13,970 This is no trick, but come quickly now before we're discovered. 315 00:45:14,250 --> 00:45:15,410 I don't want to escape. 316 00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:28,580 Be quiet and follow me. 317 00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,340 What are you doing? 318 00:45:42,780 --> 00:45:43,780 Be quiet. 319 00:45:44,740 --> 00:45:49,840 I just want to make sure the brutes didn't bruise your beautiful body. 320 00:46:05,900 --> 00:46:06,900 Glacier has taste. 321 00:46:15,380 --> 00:46:17,480 Drive slowly or you'll arouse the soldiers. 322 00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:22,040 Wait. Who are you masked man and how can we thank you? I'm sure that someday 323 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:23,040 you'll find a way. 324 00:46:23,460 --> 00:46:24,680 Stay away from your house. 325 00:46:25,380 --> 00:46:27,520 Now go. Find safety with friends. 326 00:48:22,230 --> 00:48:24,670 Father, I have a wonderful confession to make. 327 00:48:27,170 --> 00:48:30,250 What is it, my little, uh, my child? 328 00:48:30,650 --> 00:48:32,610 Father, I've decided to become a nun. 329 00:48:33,230 --> 00:48:34,410 Don't you think that's wonderful? 330 00:48:34,610 --> 00:48:35,750 An admirable decision. 331 00:48:36,430 --> 00:48:40,410 But you shouldn't make up your mind while you're still young and 332 00:48:40,830 --> 00:48:42,050 What do you mean, Father? 333 00:48:42,570 --> 00:48:44,370 You should find out what life is all about. 334 00:48:44,830 --> 00:48:50,330 Why, a beautiful girl like you, you must have many young men. So, get married. 335 00:48:51,370 --> 00:48:54,910 Have a family. And if you still want to become a nun, come back and we'll work 336 00:48:54,910 --> 00:48:55,910 something out. 337 00:48:56,210 --> 00:48:58,070 Father, how can you say such things? 338 00:48:58,350 --> 00:49:01,610 I mean, if I'm to become a nun, I must remain a virgin. 339 00:49:02,130 --> 00:49:03,130 What a waste. 340 00:49:03,370 --> 00:49:06,570 What I'm trying to tell you, my dear, is that you don't have sufficient 341 00:49:06,570 --> 00:49:08,430 experience. So live a little. 342 00:49:09,150 --> 00:49:11,190 Father, I do not understand. 343 00:49:11,490 --> 00:49:14,390 I thought if I became a nun, it would please you. 344 00:49:14,910 --> 00:49:19,610 There are other, better ways for you to please me. What do you mean? 345 00:49:26,240 --> 00:49:28,080 Father? What is it, Sagittario? 346 00:49:28,740 --> 00:49:33,040 Signorita Maria, we are looking for a man in a long, black, flowing cape. Have 347 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:34,040 you seen such a man? 348 00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,320 I saw no one. I was just confessing to the Padre. 349 00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,340 But who is the man with the dark cape? 350 00:49:40,660 --> 00:49:44,920 His name is Zorro, and he's a very dangerous man. He has just helped two 351 00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:48,140 prisoners to escape. If you see him, beware. 352 00:49:57,960 --> 00:49:59,620 We're sorry to have disturbed you. 353 00:50:00,140 --> 00:50:05,700 Padre, we apologize for disturbing you. Fear not. We will get Zorro. 354 00:50:06,180 --> 00:50:07,180 Out! 355 00:51:12,910 --> 00:51:14,450 You've got to catch him. 356 00:51:18,210 --> 00:51:19,210 It's Zorro. 357 00:51:19,590 --> 00:51:22,930 He can screw up my plans of being the biggest man in California. 358 00:51:23,390 --> 00:51:24,109 I know. 359 00:51:24,110 --> 00:51:25,110 I know. 360 00:51:25,310 --> 00:51:27,190 I'm part of those plans, too. Remember? 361 00:51:27,590 --> 00:51:29,350 So what are you going to do about it? 362 00:51:29,750 --> 00:51:33,470 You and your machos. That was some show you put on last night. 363 00:51:33,790 --> 00:51:35,730 My men have been searching all night. 364 00:51:36,030 --> 00:51:38,210 By tomorrow morning, they'll be spread throughout the area. 365 00:51:38,750 --> 00:51:41,170 He won't escape this time. I guarantee it. 366 00:51:41,430 --> 00:51:46,480 Your men... And your men, for all the men they are, they could compete with 367 00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,860 Diego Vega for gay caballero of the year. 368 00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:53,760 And as for that senor Itar, I think I would like to have him meet my niece 369 00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:59,680 Maria. A match between him and Maria would be very advantageous to my plans. 370 00:52:00,740 --> 00:52:04,400 Luis, you know I've had my eye on Maria for a long time. And that's all you're 371 00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:07,180 going to have on her, at least until after the marriage. 372 00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,880 And then, of course, Maria is entitled to at least one lover. 373 00:52:11,470 --> 00:52:13,330 Better it be you than some stranger. 374 00:52:14,910 --> 00:52:17,910 Deps, to which you'll stoop to think I'm the richest man in California. 375 00:52:19,390 --> 00:52:20,850 Nausea. Poor Maria. 376 00:52:21,130 --> 00:52:22,150 Business, Esteban. 377 00:52:22,610 --> 00:52:23,890 Big business. 378 00:52:24,150 --> 00:52:26,710 The vehicle holdings are amongst the largest in California. 379 00:52:27,690 --> 00:52:30,730 Tonight, we make our first move to acquire them. 380 00:52:31,770 --> 00:52:34,810 We are going to have Don Diego to dinner tonight. 381 00:52:35,150 --> 00:52:37,370 Who is he going to eat? 382 00:52:37,770 --> 00:52:38,890 No snide remark. 383 00:53:24,810 --> 00:53:26,530 Do not be frightened, my lovely Maria. 384 00:53:29,370 --> 00:53:32,270 I only wanted to thank you for not blowing the whistle on me at the church 385 00:53:32,270 --> 00:53:35,550 night. But who are you? I am Zorro. 386 00:53:36,790 --> 00:53:40,070 Zorro? Maria, are you ready? It's time to go down. 387 00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:51,360 heard voices in here just now. 388 00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:53,300 No, I was just singing. 389 00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:55,740 Well, shall we? Dinner's waiting. 390 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,620 I have not had such a marvelous dinner since I left Madrid. 391 00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:55,560 Everything is just exquisite. 392 00:55:58,220 --> 00:55:59,220 Excellency. 393 00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:03,300 May I say your niece is the most charming young lady I have met? 394 00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:05,080 Thank you very much, Don Diego. 395 00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:07,160 You two must get to know each other better. 396 00:56:07,380 --> 00:56:09,400 She too has just come from Spain. 397 00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:13,040 She has only been with her aunt and I for three months in California. 398 00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:17,260 You two probably have mutual acquaintances in Madrid, no? 399 00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:19,720 Maria, your perfume. It's lovely. 400 00:56:20,650 --> 00:56:22,470 What is it called? My perfume? 401 00:56:22,930 --> 00:56:29,750 Why, it's, uh... Oh, Esteban, really? This beautiful 402 00:56:29,750 --> 00:56:32,510 scent is called Amor Rapido. 403 00:56:34,210 --> 00:56:35,210 It's for my bath. 404 00:56:35,530 --> 00:56:36,630 I'm glad you like it. 405 00:56:37,370 --> 00:56:38,370 Amor Rapido. 406 00:56:38,790 --> 00:56:40,070 It's obviously well -named. 407 00:56:40,470 --> 00:56:44,430 Diego, you must tell us about your life in Madrid. Oh, that I was there instead 408 00:56:44,430 --> 00:56:46,130 of this godforsaken outpost. 409 00:56:46,390 --> 00:56:47,450 Oh, yes, Diego. 410 00:56:47,690 --> 00:56:49,910 Do tell us about your carefree... 411 00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:52,340 Fascinating gay life in Madrid. 412 00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:57,260 Actually, I spent most of my time with the other cadets. That figures. 413 00:57:00,980 --> 00:57:04,060 Studying. Or drilling. Or learning war games. 414 00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:07,540 An officer must be a fine horseman and swordsman. 415 00:57:08,180 --> 00:57:10,220 They must also know about the weapons. 416 00:57:10,540 --> 00:57:14,660 Sometimes it is best to use a pistol. But even an officer should know how to 417 00:57:14,660 --> 00:57:16,040 handle a cannon. 418 00:57:16,540 --> 00:57:17,540 How interesting. 419 00:57:18,430 --> 00:57:20,330 I suppose you know how to do everything. 420 00:57:21,790 --> 00:57:25,270 Well, actually, you could say that, but really, I'm boring you all, I know. 421 00:57:27,750 --> 00:57:32,130 Esteban, you lived in Spain, too, didn't you? Why don't you tell us why you left 422 00:57:32,130 --> 00:57:34,690 such a beautiful country to come to this sleeping pueblo? 423 00:57:35,310 --> 00:57:40,290 When I was a younger man, I was quite a sportsman, although I had a bad temper. 424 00:57:40,430 --> 00:57:42,950 I had the finest cock in Barcelona. 425 00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:51,240 came from a long line of fighting cocks. One Saturday, I took him to the arena 426 00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:52,380 for a fight. 427 00:57:53,860 --> 00:57:57,600 All the gentlemen were there, and the stakes were high. 428 00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:03,680 When the time came for my cock to fight, I entered the arena and presented 429 00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:05,700 myself to my cock's opponent. 430 00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:12,040 This gentleman took one look at my magnificent cock and stated he would not 431 00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:14,480 his champion fight such a little scrawny thing. 432 00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:19,640 I could not bear this insult. In a fit of temper, I challenged him to a duel. 433 00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:23,680 He was from one of the finest families in Barcelona. 434 00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:27,260 That was my mistake. 435 00:58:27,740 --> 00:58:30,860 Oh, what an exciting story, Esteban. Please, do go on. 436 00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:32,420 Yes, please, Esteban. 437 00:58:34,140 --> 00:58:35,540 I ran him through. 438 00:58:36,260 --> 00:58:39,500 As I said, he was from one of the richest families in Barcelona. 439 00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:43,800 So, discretion being the better part of valor... 440 00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:51,140 I decided to split the scene. That is how I happened to be here in Los 441 00:58:51,580 --> 00:58:53,640 That is very interesting, Esteban. 442 00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:57,240 Too bad you can't challenge that Zorro to a cockfight, eh? 443 00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:01,000 Zorro? Who in the world is Zorro? 444 00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:02,980 Oh, he's... Yes, my dear? 445 00:59:03,340 --> 00:59:06,780 Oh, I'm sorry, Uncle. I was just trying to explain to Don Diego. 446 00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:10,720 Forgive my question, Excellency. It's another of my affairs. 447 00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:12,140 It is your affair. 448 00:59:12,340 --> 00:59:15,820 It is the affair of every loyal, law -abiding citizen. 449 00:59:16,260 --> 00:59:18,160 This Zorro is a masked bandit. 450 00:59:18,780 --> 00:59:21,540 He's a criminal and a rabble -rouser. 451 00:59:22,380 --> 00:59:27,440 He's dangerous to the authority of my government. He must be hunted down and 452 00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:28,440 brought to justice. 453 00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:30,140 He will, Don Luis. 454 00:59:30,580 --> 00:59:31,720 You have my word. 455 00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:36,400 Doña Buenosario, I can't thank you enough for your gracious hospitality. 456 00:59:37,060 --> 00:59:38,740 It was our pleasure having you, Don Diego. 457 00:59:40,140 --> 00:59:41,700 Perhaps we'll be seeing more of you soon. 458 00:59:41,940 --> 00:59:43,060 It would be my pleasure. 459 00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:45,680 Perhaps you'd like to accompany me on my morning ride. 460 00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:47,120 Oh, I'd be delighted. 461 00:59:47,420 --> 00:59:51,700 Would it be too early? No hour is too early to enjoy your company, lovely 462 00:59:54,700 --> 00:59:57,200 Excellency, thank you for having me to dinner. 463 00:59:58,080 --> 00:59:59,160 Thank you, Don Diego. 464 00:59:59,460 --> 01:00:01,340 And give my regards to your father. 465 01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:02,600 Gracias, I will. 466 01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:07,880 You do have the most... 467 01:00:08,250 --> 01:00:11,170 Beautiful things, Commandante. Who is your tailor? 468 01:00:11,850 --> 01:00:12,850 Good night. 469 01:00:16,430 --> 01:00:18,150 You're all just too beautiful. 470 01:00:18,990 --> 01:00:19,990 Nighty -night. 471 01:00:21,450 --> 01:00:23,450 Come, Maria. I'll help you prepare for bed. 472 01:00:23,730 --> 01:00:26,710 Well, ladies, what do you think of the son of the former alcalde? 473 01:00:27,030 --> 01:00:29,990 Oh, I think he's some kind of a freak or something. 474 01:00:30,370 --> 01:00:32,730 I think things are seldom what they seem. 475 01:00:40,450 --> 01:00:41,910 But don't you worry. 476 01:00:42,370 --> 01:00:44,090 You'll get part of the action. 477 01:00:44,310 --> 01:00:46,330 You and your fine cock, eh? 478 01:01:04,190 --> 01:01:06,870 Thinking of your husband -to -be? 479 01:01:07,450 --> 01:01:08,388 Oh, yes. 480 01:01:08,390 --> 01:01:09,390 He's wonderful. 481 01:01:09,810 --> 01:01:12,770 Well, at dinner, you didn't display any great fondness for him. 482 01:01:13,230 --> 01:01:14,890 Who are you talking about? 483 01:01:15,470 --> 01:01:18,190 Why, Don Diego, of course. 484 01:01:18,910 --> 01:01:20,030 Don Diego? 485 01:01:20,390 --> 01:01:21,650 That she -man? 486 01:01:21,930 --> 01:01:24,790 Oh, Aunt Lena, really, you're so much fun. 487 01:01:25,790 --> 01:01:27,410 Maria, I do not jest. 488 01:01:28,590 --> 01:01:29,650 I don't understand. 489 01:01:29,870 --> 01:01:30,870 What do you mean? 490 01:01:31,330 --> 01:01:33,510 Your uncle and I have already discussed it. 491 01:01:34,090 --> 01:01:35,230 He has decided. 492 01:01:35,790 --> 01:01:37,810 You will soon marry Don Diego. 493 01:01:39,270 --> 01:01:40,270 Oh, no. 494 01:01:40,370 --> 01:01:46,850 No, I can't. But I'm in love with... With whom, Maria? 495 01:01:48,850 --> 01:01:49,910 There, there, Denise. 496 01:01:51,050 --> 01:01:52,550 Everything will work out in time. 497 01:01:52,850 --> 01:01:54,710 You will learn to love him. 498 01:01:55,210 --> 01:01:56,930 I'll never live that long. 499 01:01:58,090 --> 01:02:00,630 Come. I'll help you get undressed. 500 01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:09,720 Uncle Luis want me to marry that bad? Because his father has great land 501 01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:12,480 which will one day belong to Diego and you. 502 01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:17,520 Aunt Elena, do you love Uncle Luis? 503 01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:18,900 Of course. 504 01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:24,840 Oh, it must be so wonderful to love and be loved by a man, a real man. 505 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:28,180 If I marry Diego, I will never know. 506 01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:34,520 Yes. To be loved physically is the greatest ecstasy one can experience. 507 01:02:35,260 --> 01:02:37,280 You are entitled to that. 508 01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:42,120 Aunt Lena, I... I don't understand. 509 01:02:42,860 --> 01:02:47,340 You will, my dear. I will make you understand many things. 510 01:05:51,340 --> 01:05:53,320 Aunt Lena, is this all right? 511 01:05:53,620 --> 01:05:54,640 Try it. 512 01:05:54,900 --> 01:05:56,260 You'll like it. 513 01:09:46,649 --> 01:09:49,630 Auntie, will it always be like this with my husband? 514 01:09:50,410 --> 01:09:52,450 With him, it may be a little different. 515 01:09:52,850 --> 01:09:56,310 But your ever -loving auntie will never be too far away. 516 01:10:06,330 --> 01:10:07,330 It's beautiful. 517 01:10:08,310 --> 01:10:09,430 Let's stop over there. 518 01:10:09,690 --> 01:10:10,690 All right. 519 01:10:57,530 --> 01:11:00,870 California can be beautiful, but I won't miss it. Oh? 520 01:11:01,310 --> 01:11:03,110 Are you thinking of going back to Spain? 521 01:11:03,530 --> 01:11:05,430 I've longed to return for some time. 522 01:11:05,810 --> 01:11:09,830 Don Luis has also spoken of returning, but I don't think he wants to give up 523 01:11:09,830 --> 01:11:10,830 what he has here. 524 01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,810 That's a shame, senora. Madrid is the center of everything, and it gets bigger 525 01:11:14,810 --> 01:11:15,810 and better every day. 526 01:11:16,170 --> 01:11:18,590 You spend so much time at the academy with men. 527 01:11:18,970 --> 01:11:20,550 You never knew any girls? 528 01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:22,110 Well, of course. 529 01:11:22,550 --> 01:11:23,670 What do you think I am? 530 01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:29,120 I think you are something other than what you pretend to be, and I might 531 01:11:29,120 --> 01:11:30,120 it. Oh? 532 01:11:30,420 --> 01:11:31,740 What do you have in mind? 533 01:11:32,100 --> 01:11:33,480 Help me slip out of my skirt. 534 01:11:40,160 --> 01:11:42,860 Gracias, Don Diego. Why don't you do the same? 535 01:11:43,140 --> 01:11:45,520 You want those pretty clothes to fade in the sun? 536 01:11:46,020 --> 01:11:47,260 Let me help you. 537 01:11:47,900 --> 01:11:51,340 A wise old man in Madrid once told me something. I guess he was right. 538 01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:52,600 What was that? 539 01:11:53,130 --> 01:11:56,950 Strip away all the linen and lace, and the only difference between a queen and 540 01:11:56,950 --> 01:11:58,190 whore is time and place. 541 01:11:58,570 --> 01:12:02,970 A wise old gypsy woman in Barcelona once told me something. I think she was 542 01:12:02,970 --> 01:12:03,949 right also. 543 01:12:03,950 --> 01:12:04,889 Oh? 544 01:12:04,890 --> 01:12:05,890 What was that? 545 01:12:06,010 --> 01:12:08,890 The longer you pretend, the harder it gets. 546 01:12:11,330 --> 01:12:15,130 Now that I've been found out, I guess I'd better confess my little hoax. 547 01:12:15,530 --> 01:12:17,810 It takes a big man to do that. 548 01:15:34,220 --> 01:15:36,260 Things are seldom what they seem. 549 01:15:36,940 --> 01:15:41,920 Skim milk masquerades as cream. I trust you've had your fill, my dear. 550 01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:59,480 Sometime tonight sergeant. I'll take that. She come on Monday. 551 01:17:00,260 --> 01:17:01,260 I'll take that 552 01:17:35,050 --> 01:17:35,869 Foiled again. 553 01:17:35,870 --> 01:17:36,870 Ben! 554 01:17:37,470 --> 01:17:39,550 Ben! Zorro's just robbed the tax money! 555 01:17:39,790 --> 01:17:40,790 Search the Pueblo! 556 01:17:41,070 --> 01:17:42,070 Search the church! 557 01:17:42,410 --> 01:17:43,550 Search Rosa Cantina! 558 01:17:43,930 --> 01:17:44,930 Search Rosa! 559 01:17:45,670 --> 01:17:46,670 Find Zorro! 560 01:18:40,119 --> 01:18:43,940 something, the Zorro's getting to be a pain in the ass. 561 01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:47,380 No, not there, you idiot! 562 01:18:47,680 --> 01:18:48,920 Behind the tower! 563 01:18:49,160 --> 01:18:50,160 The tower! 564 01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:54,020 Tico! 565 01:19:13,520 --> 01:19:15,480 just robbed the tax money. The tax... 566 01:22:02,290 --> 01:22:07,670 Did you see him? See him? The cowardly swine. He attacked one of my best men 567 01:22:07,670 --> 01:22:08,669 from the grave. 568 01:22:08,670 --> 01:22:09,830 Did he hurt him? Rick? 569 01:22:26,890 --> 01:22:27,890 Yes, it's a Z. 570 01:22:28,330 --> 01:22:30,650 I'd call you an imbecile, but that would be a promotion. 571 01:22:43,970 --> 01:22:45,230 Good evening, Padre. 572 01:22:49,570 --> 01:22:53,350 Padre, don't you recognize your old student? 573 01:22:54,170 --> 01:22:55,170 Diego. 574 01:22:56,110 --> 01:22:57,610 I don't understand. You? 575 01:22:57,830 --> 01:22:58,830 Zorro? 576 01:22:59,190 --> 01:23:04,190 This cannot be. I thought you were... A fegala. 577 01:23:04,810 --> 01:23:05,970 No, Padre. 578 01:23:06,270 --> 01:23:07,810 It was only part of my disguise. 579 01:23:08,770 --> 01:23:10,170 Here is part of the tax money. 580 01:23:10,510 --> 01:23:13,070 You are to return it to the peons who paid us this evening. 581 01:23:14,090 --> 01:23:16,690 This is wonderful. The poor people will bless you. 582 01:23:17,670 --> 01:23:20,610 Needless to say, don't crack to anyone about my identity. 583 01:23:21,150 --> 01:23:22,810 Gay Diego will stay Gay Diego. 584 01:23:23,230 --> 01:23:24,410 And Zorro... 585 01:23:24,720 --> 01:23:26,240 will rid this town of its rats. 586 01:23:26,840 --> 01:23:27,840 I understand. 587 01:23:28,320 --> 01:23:29,820 What will you do next? 588 01:23:30,560 --> 01:23:32,800 Next, Padre, I am getting laid. 589 01:23:34,440 --> 01:23:41,140 Forgive me, Padre, but Zorro tells it like it is. And now, if you'll excuse 590 01:23:41,140 --> 01:23:42,140 me. 591 01:23:46,520 --> 01:23:50,040 Maybe someday they will change these frustrating rules. 592 01:24:28,319 --> 01:24:31,080 67, 68, 69. 593 01:24:33,560 --> 01:24:35,280 Zorro, what are you doing here? 594 01:24:35,500 --> 01:24:37,420 Shh. There's no cause for alarm. 595 01:24:37,720 --> 01:24:40,860 But what are you doing here? Oh, you'll surely be caught. 596 01:24:41,660 --> 01:24:42,680 I've come to see you. 597 01:24:43,440 --> 01:24:46,060 And don't worry about me being caught. 598 01:24:47,430 --> 01:24:48,430 No one. 599 01:24:51,090 --> 01:24:56,530 Not even Luis or Esteban would ever think of looking for me here. 600 01:24:57,850 --> 01:24:59,270 But what do you want of me? 601 01:24:59,830 --> 01:25:00,830 I told you. 602 01:25:02,530 --> 01:25:03,670 I've come to see you. 603 01:25:06,910 --> 01:25:07,910 So show me. 604 01:25:09,330 --> 01:25:10,630 And I'll show you. 605 01:25:11,250 --> 01:25:12,910 I don't understand. 606 01:25:13,930 --> 01:25:15,470 You will, Maria, my love. 607 01:25:26,960 --> 01:25:27,960 You shouldn't be doing this. 608 01:25:28,500 --> 01:25:29,780 Do you want me to stop? 609 01:25:30,420 --> 01:25:31,980 Oh, no, not yet. 610 01:25:36,620 --> 01:25:37,220 Does 611 01:25:37,220 --> 01:25:45,940 my 612 01:25:45,940 --> 01:25:46,940 little dove like it? 613 01:25:47,480 --> 01:25:49,500 It's so, so muscular. 614 01:25:51,400 --> 01:25:52,860 And that isn't all. 615 01:26:19,660 --> 01:26:20,619 I've shown you. 616 01:26:20,620 --> 01:26:22,080 Now you must show me. 617 01:26:22,420 --> 01:26:23,520 But of course, my darling. 618 01:26:23,840 --> 01:26:24,840 Of course. 619 01:27:19,820 --> 01:27:21,440 But you have not shown me your face. 620 01:27:22,140 --> 01:27:26,700 Why do you still wear that mask and those stupid stockings and garters? 621 01:27:30,860 --> 01:27:34,200 The man always wears a mask, stockings and garters in these movies. 622 01:27:42,040 --> 01:27:43,620 Who are you, Zorro? 623 01:27:44,140 --> 01:27:46,460 The man with whom you will spend the rest of your life. 624 01:33:30,800 --> 01:33:32,880 You will come again, won't you, Zorro? 625 01:33:35,080 --> 01:33:36,580 How many times, my dear? 626 01:33:54,160 --> 01:33:56,380 But I still haven't seen your face. 627 01:33:56,940 --> 01:33:58,300 You weren't meant to, my darling. 628 01:33:58,940 --> 01:34:01,270 Yet. I fear for your life. 629 01:34:01,610 --> 01:34:03,530 When will I see you again, my love? 630 01:34:04,390 --> 01:34:07,430 Soon. And the next time you'll see all of me. 631 01:34:08,430 --> 01:34:10,770 But now, I must go. 632 01:34:12,370 --> 01:34:17,610 Tomorrow, I right many wrongs 633 01:34:17,610 --> 01:34:23,990 while at the same time ensuring our future happiness. 634 01:34:46,600 --> 01:34:47,820 Velazquez. We meet again. 635 01:34:48,060 --> 01:34:49,180 What are you doing here? 636 01:34:49,700 --> 01:34:54,880 Not that it's any of your business, but I was merely visiting my fiancée, the 637 01:34:54,880 --> 01:34:57,020 beautiful and no longer virginal Maria. 638 01:34:57,700 --> 01:34:59,940 Schmuck. No longer virginal. 639 01:35:00,240 --> 01:35:01,240 Defend yourself. 640 01:35:21,610 --> 01:35:22,610 You're good, Capitan. 641 01:35:22,890 --> 01:35:27,430 I will give you a rematch tomorrow at high noon in the Alcalde's office. 642 01:35:28,850 --> 01:35:30,610 You bet your ass you will. 643 01:35:38,470 --> 01:35:41,730 You don't really think he'll come, do you, Esteban? 644 01:35:42,190 --> 01:35:43,450 He's a neomaniac. 645 01:35:44,370 --> 01:35:45,370 He'll show. 646 01:35:45,610 --> 01:35:48,450 With all of our soldiers outside, he'd be insane. 647 01:35:49,280 --> 01:35:51,040 I've given orders to them to let him pass. 648 01:35:51,680 --> 01:35:52,680 He's mine. 649 01:35:52,980 --> 01:35:55,300 Talk about you maniacs. 650 01:35:56,080 --> 01:36:00,320 No, no, senor. You cannot go in. But I must go in. I've got information for 651 01:36:00,320 --> 01:36:04,120 about this Zorro person. Let Don Diego pass, Seymour. 652 01:36:07,640 --> 01:36:11,240 See? I told you they'd see me, you silly, succulent savage, you. 653 01:36:13,260 --> 01:36:16,920 Well, while you two lollygag about this dreadful office that... 654 01:36:17,280 --> 01:36:20,100 Zorro person is lurking about my father's hacienda. 655 01:37:02,990 --> 01:37:04,230 I'm afraid Zorro is a coward. 656 01:37:05,610 --> 01:37:08,710 He wouldn't dare face me alone again. 657 01:37:09,090 --> 01:37:10,970 He's too smart, you fool. 658 01:37:11,330 --> 01:37:14,590 He wouldn't dare come in here with all his soldiers outside. 659 01:37:15,110 --> 01:37:16,850 But I've given orders to let him pass. 660 01:37:17,130 --> 01:37:19,090 He doesn't know that, you moron. 661 01:37:19,430 --> 01:37:21,750 Zorro is much too crafty for that. 662 01:37:21,990 --> 01:37:24,410 He has tricked you into sending the soldiers away. 663 01:37:51,150 --> 01:37:52,150 will do the wise thing. 664 01:37:53,850 --> 01:37:54,850 Which is? 665 01:37:57,650 --> 01:38:00,030 Resign your position which you are not fit to hold. 666 01:38:09,950 --> 01:38:12,330 Repairing all of the money which you have stolen from the peons. 667 01:38:13,450 --> 01:38:15,610 And go back to Spain with your lovely wife. 668 01:38:16,210 --> 01:38:17,210 Yes. 669 01:38:17,970 --> 01:38:19,170 What about Maria? 670 01:38:19,470 --> 01:38:20,470 Oh, Maria. 671 01:38:21,100 --> 01:38:22,320 She stays in Los Angeles. 672 01:38:23,300 --> 01:38:27,520 I am going to marry her. You cheeky bastard. Not yet, Esteban. I haven't 673 01:38:27,520 --> 01:38:28,520 finished. 674 01:38:28,900 --> 01:38:30,720 You're finished as of right now. 675 01:40:06,350 --> 01:40:07,350 My sword arm. 676 01:40:08,270 --> 01:40:10,890 I'll never fight again. 677 01:40:11,150 --> 01:40:12,350 Good for you, Esteban. 678 01:40:13,390 --> 01:40:15,050 One should make love, not war. 679 01:40:16,670 --> 01:40:20,830 And now, gentlemen, we will conclude the arrangements to which you will agree, I 680 01:40:20,830 --> 01:40:21,589 am sure. 681 01:40:21,590 --> 01:40:22,590 Yes, yes. 682 01:40:22,890 --> 01:40:23,910 Anything you say. 683 01:40:24,770 --> 01:40:25,770 Uncle. 684 01:40:26,670 --> 01:40:28,050 Esteban. Don Diego. 685 01:40:28,450 --> 01:40:29,610 What does this mean? 686 01:40:29,970 --> 01:40:33,410 It means, my dear, that Don Diego is really Zorro. 687 01:40:34,510 --> 01:40:36,110 Don Diego Zorro? 688 01:40:36,670 --> 01:40:38,190 I don't believe that. 689 01:40:38,930 --> 01:40:42,290 Zorro's a man and Don Diego is only a... Yes, my little dove, I'm what? 690 01:40:43,350 --> 01:40:45,430 I just don't believe it. 691 01:40:45,990 --> 01:40:52,150 Perhaps when we have concluded our arrangements here, you'll let me prove 692 01:40:52,430 --> 01:40:53,930 Prove it? But how? 693 01:40:54,710 --> 01:40:55,710 Zorro knows. 694 01:40:56,490 --> 01:40:57,810 You have won, Zorro. 695 01:40:58,310 --> 01:41:00,630 Elena and I shall leave for Spain tomorrow. 696 01:41:01,010 --> 01:41:02,010 What about me? 697 01:41:02,960 --> 01:41:05,420 Too bad, kid. That's the way to enchilada crumble. 698 01:41:05,720 --> 01:41:07,100 I can't believe it. 699 01:41:22,120 --> 01:41:26,000 And so the wrongs have been righted. Luis Bonisario has sailed back to Spain. 700 01:41:26,200 --> 01:41:30,100 And Esteban Velasquez is managing a cockfighting arena in Tijuana. 701 01:41:30,670 --> 01:41:33,990 And I've been restored to my rightful place as alcalde of Los Angeles. 702 01:41:34,550 --> 01:41:37,470 The governor has been so notified and approves. 703 01:41:39,950 --> 01:41:44,450 And I and all my men have been elected the new police force. 704 01:41:44,810 --> 01:41:51,510 I, Filippio Lacio, am sergeant in charge of the vice squad. 705 01:41:51,830 --> 01:41:55,290 Oh, Filippio, I knew you'd get an honest job someday. 706 01:41:55,990 --> 01:41:57,950 All this was done by my son Diego. 707 01:41:59,300 --> 01:42:00,640 Also known as Zorro. 708 01:42:01,960 --> 01:42:04,020 Let's bring him on with a big hand. Here he is. 709 01:42:53,240 --> 01:42:54,800 You can read. 710 01:42:55,120 --> 01:42:56,120 What does it say? 711 01:42:57,460 --> 01:43:04,380 Know ye that Luis Bonesario is a thief and a tyrant and cannot long escape 712 01:43:04,380 --> 01:43:05,500 my justice. 713 01:43:06,160 --> 01:43:07,360 Signed, Zorro. 714 01:43:07,900 --> 01:43:10,040 Zorro? Who the fuck is Zorro? 715 01:43:10,340 --> 01:43:16,440 In times of tyranny, always comes one to right the wrong and wrong the 716 01:43:16,440 --> 01:43:19,540 unrighteous. Such a one was Zorro. 717 01:43:22,160 --> 01:43:26,880 It's an all -new, all -nude, lewd, and lascivious Zorro. 718 01:43:27,420 --> 01:43:32,520 It's Entertainment Venture's masterwork of adult exposition, The Erotic 719 01:43:32,520 --> 01:43:34,220 Adventures of Zorro. 720 01:43:39,560 --> 01:43:41,860 Oh, kitty matinee, Zorro this. 721 01:43:42,180 --> 01:43:44,060 Here is a Zorro with balls. 722 01:43:44,540 --> 01:43:45,940 What will you do next? 723 01:43:46,540 --> 01:43:49,040 Next? I am getting laid. 724 01:43:52,040 --> 01:43:53,040 Forgive me, Padre. 725 01:43:53,260 --> 01:43:55,980 The sorrow tells it like it is. 726 01:43:56,220 --> 01:44:02,100 Brandishing his long, quick rapier, he wrought carnage and rapture. Those who 727 01:44:02,100 --> 01:44:04,720 dared come up against him got stunned. 728 01:44:06,140 --> 01:44:10,740 It all happened in a little Spanish town called Los Angeles. 729 01:44:11,500 --> 01:44:12,900 All right, you people. 730 01:44:13,700 --> 01:44:16,620 It's April 15th. You all know what that means. 731 01:44:17,160 --> 01:44:18,480 It's tax time. 732 01:44:24,520 --> 01:44:27,280 The poor peasants were being taxed up their assets. 733 01:44:27,820 --> 01:44:33,680 Those who couldn't pay had to work it off hard. Since your father cannot pay 734 01:44:33,680 --> 01:44:39,120 taxes, you girls must pay. However, we will let you work it off. 735 01:44:40,000 --> 01:44:46,040 Sergeant Lacio, take charge of these two tasty wenches and collect 250 736 01:44:46,040 --> 01:44:51,420 pesos. Plus a final 50 pesos for disturbing the peace. 737 01:44:52,320 --> 01:44:53,640 300 pesos? 738 01:44:54,300 --> 01:44:58,760 They'll be 45 years old by the time they pay it. The time had come for someone 739 01:44:58,760 --> 01:45:00,140 to take things in hand. 740 01:45:03,480 --> 01:45:05,480 Glad to see you have everything in hand, Sergeant. 741 01:45:07,700 --> 01:45:10,340 Wait till she finds out his saber's bent. 742 01:45:10,620 --> 01:45:12,420 That someone was Zorro. 743 01:45:16,920 --> 01:45:20,300 Fencing and yensing his way right up your heart. 744 01:45:28,140 --> 01:45:34,340 shown you now you must show me but of course my darling of course by day he 745 01:45:34,340 --> 01:45:40,920 masqueraded as a senior eater by night he straightened out and went down the 746 01:45:40,920 --> 01:45:44,740 line with Maria Klein a regular Spanish Batman 747 01:45:58,830 --> 01:46:00,410 But you have not shown me your face. 748 01:46:00,990 --> 01:46:06,010 Why do you still wear that mask and those stupid stockings and garters? I'll 749 01:46:06,010 --> 01:46:07,010 take that. 750 01:46:07,390 --> 01:46:09,090 I'll take that. 751 01:46:09,330 --> 01:46:10,330 Zorro! 752 01:46:13,350 --> 01:46:14,930 Zorro just robbed the tax money! 753 01:46:15,170 --> 01:46:16,170 Search the church! 754 01:46:17,530 --> 01:46:18,950 Search Rose's Cantina! 755 01:46:19,310 --> 01:46:20,310 Search Rosa! 756 01:46:21,030 --> 01:46:22,030 Find Zorro! 757 01:46:30,530 --> 01:46:33,990 You cheeky bastard. I haven't finished. 758 01:46:34,790 --> 01:46:39,950 You're finished as of right now. The intrepid team that brought you Traitor 759 01:46:39,950 --> 01:46:45,550 Horny now brings you a fantastic motion picture with something for everyone. 760 01:46:45,830 --> 01:46:46,830 Killing. 761 01:46:51,110 --> 01:46:52,110 Rape. 762 01:46:53,270 --> 01:46:55,290 Spectacle. Comedy. 763 01:47:09,870 --> 01:47:10,648 You know something? 764 01:47:10,650 --> 01:47:13,790 The Zorro's getting to be a pain in the ass. 765 01:47:14,250 --> 01:47:16,910 Sex. Flamenco dancing. 766 01:47:17,710 --> 01:47:18,710 Perversion. 767 01:47:19,430 --> 01:47:20,630 Horseback riding. 768 01:47:21,630 --> 01:47:22,630 Torture. 769 01:47:24,350 --> 01:47:25,350 Lesbian. 770 01:47:26,090 --> 01:47:27,310 Sword fighting. 771 01:47:28,150 --> 01:47:29,410 Naked girls. 772 01:47:31,050 --> 01:47:32,050 Entertainment. 773 01:47:32,570 --> 01:47:38,110 All in the audacious, outrageous, the erotic adventures of Zorro. 774 01:47:38,600 --> 01:47:43,380 All the memorable characters of this beloved classic come to life before your 775 01:47:43,380 --> 01:47:45,820 very eyes. The evil Alcalde. 776 01:47:47,400 --> 01:47:51,220 The equally evil Esteban Velasquez. 777 01:47:51,500 --> 01:47:53,820 I had the finest cock in Barcelona. 778 01:47:55,260 --> 01:47:56,980 The virginal Maria. 779 01:47:57,720 --> 01:47:59,800 Father, how can you say such things? 780 01:48:00,040 --> 01:48:03,460 I mean, if I'm to become a nun, I must remain a virgin. 781 01:48:03,780 --> 01:48:04,780 What a waste. 782 01:48:05,000 --> 01:48:06,340 The experienced Helena. 783 01:48:09,680 --> 01:48:11,020 The kindly priest. 784 01:48:11,340 --> 01:48:16,660 These military schools can do funny things to a boy. 785 01:48:16,880 --> 01:48:18,740 Sergeant Filippio Lascio. 786 01:48:18,980 --> 01:48:23,380 But when you do what I want you to do, you'll still be a virgin. 787 01:48:23,720 --> 01:48:25,620 No, I can't. 788 01:48:26,080 --> 01:48:27,600 Fear not. 789 01:48:28,160 --> 01:48:30,380 Relief is just a swallow away. 790 01:48:31,180 --> 01:48:32,980 Rosita and Margarita. 791 01:48:33,320 --> 01:48:35,600 And they're virgins, Comandante. 792 01:48:36,340 --> 01:48:37,340 Virgins. 793 01:48:37,770 --> 01:48:39,870 Graciela. Estrellita. 794 01:48:43,730 --> 01:48:46,570 They're all here to thrill you anew. 795 01:48:47,090 --> 01:48:49,090 Parental guidance recommended. 796 01:48:49,590 --> 01:48:54,890 Have your parents guide you to this theater to see The Erotic Adventures of 797 01:48:54,890 --> 01:48:59,690 Zorro. Adios, comandante. The first adult movie rated Z. 798 01:48:59,890 --> 01:49:02,970 The Erotic Adventures of Zorro. 799 01:49:05,100 --> 01:49:09,360 And for those selected few of you with a taste for the hard stuff, here are a 800 01:49:09,360 --> 01:49:12,040 few of the scenes that made it so hard for us. 801 01:49:21,180 --> 01:49:23,760 If you're old enough to vote, you're old enough to see it. 802 01:49:23,980 --> 01:49:28,820 And you'll vote it the best you've ever seen. The erotic adventure...