1
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,841
- It's only a hundred.
- Nothing to them.
2
00:00:28,921 --> 00:00:31,801
- I said I'd pay it back in six weeks.
- Or knock it off your wages.
3
00:00:31,881 --> 00:00:34,481
- She said it would be all right.
- Poll!
4
00:00:35,081 --> 00:00:37,201
If he would have said "No"
three weeks ago when I asked him,
5
00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:39,881
- I could have gotten the money somewhere else.
- Ask him this morning.
6
00:00:39,961 --> 00:00:42,161
I've asked him three
times, it's embarrassing.
7
00:00:42,241 --> 00:00:44,361
Tell him if he won't let you have
it, you'll go.
8
00:00:44,441 --> 00:00:47,161
- I've got to have it this weekend.
- Well, ask him.
9
00:00:47,241 --> 00:00:50,321
Me and you practically run
the bleedin' place for him.
10
00:00:50,401 --> 00:00:53,081
Ah, Polly. Your paintings brushes.
11
00:00:53,601 --> 00:00:54,641
- Thank you, Manuel.
- Here.
12
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,561
Your change is 44p.
13
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,081
What's all that?
14
00:00:59,161 --> 00:01:02,041
I make a paella, a surprise tonight.
15
00:01:02,241 --> 00:01:04,361
My mother's recipe is mm-mmm.
16
00:01:04,841 --> 00:01:08,081
- But does Terry know?
- Perhaps Mr Fawlty say?
17
00:01:08,161 --> 00:01:09,761
(MANUEL SHUSHES)
18
00:01:14,561 --> 00:01:16,001
Anything wrong?
19
00:01:16,081 --> 00:01:19,361
- Nothing you could do anything about.
- Are you sure?
20
00:01:19,761 --> 00:01:22,321
Our 15th wedding anniversary today...
21
00:01:22,401 --> 00:01:23,761
Guess who's forgotten?
22
00:01:23,841 --> 00:01:25,161
Oh, no.
23
00:01:25,561 --> 00:01:27,641
I didn't think he'd forget this year.
24
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,761
Not after what happened
when he forgot last year.
25
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,561
I shouldn't be so thin-skinned about it.
26
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:36,921
I'm just cursed with a sensitive nature.
27
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,881
Still that's the way I am.
We all have our cross to bear.
28
00:01:40,961 --> 00:01:42,481
(BASIL HUMMING)
29
00:01:45,961 --> 00:01:47,761
Do you know what poem
that's based on, Polly?
30
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,401
- No.
- Ode to Joy.
31
00:01:49,481 --> 00:01:50,881
Hello, dear.
32
00:01:51,401 --> 00:01:54,841
Polly, you won't forget to put some
more splits in the bar, will you?
33
00:01:54,921 --> 00:01:56,601
I don't expect Polly will forget, Basil.
34
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,241
- Just reminding her, dear.
- Oh, were you?
35
00:01:58,321 --> 00:02:00,961
I thought so, yes.
It sounded like it to me.
36
00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:03,881
You don't have to worry about Polly
forgetting anything important.
37
00:02:03,961 --> 00:02:05,161
- Don't I?
- No, you don't.
38
00:02:05,241 --> 00:02:06,401
Good. How splendid.
39
00:02:06,481 --> 00:02:08,761
- She doesn't forget things.
- Doesn't she?
40
00:02:08,841 --> 00:02:11,081
Can you remember the last time she did?
41
00:02:11,161 --> 00:02:13,841
No, but then, my memory isn't very good.
42
00:02:13,921 --> 00:02:15,721
You can say that again.
43
00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,001
Can I, dear? Thank you.
44
00:02:17,081 --> 00:02:18,601
(BASIL CLEARING THROAT)
45
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:20,761
I've forgotten what it was.
46
00:02:21,521 --> 00:02:22,761
Don't worry, Basil...
47
00:02:22,841 --> 00:02:26,361
Provided you can remember
the things that matter to you.
48
00:02:27,721 --> 00:02:30,481
Do I detect the smell of burning martyr?
49
00:02:30,721 --> 00:02:33,121
Mr Fawlty, it's your anniversary!
50
00:02:33,201 --> 00:02:35,041
- Don't let on.
- What?
51
00:02:35,681 --> 00:02:38,681
I'm pretending I've forgotten.
I forgot last year and got flayed for it.
52
00:02:38,761 --> 00:02:41,321
We've got some friends
arriving in about 10 minutes
53
00:02:41,401 --> 00:02:42,641
for a surprise drinks party.
54
00:02:42,721 --> 00:02:44,841
Manuel's making a special
paella for tonight,
55
00:02:44,921 --> 00:02:46,881
got some champagne,
but don't tell her I've remembered yet.
56
00:02:46,961 --> 00:02:49,441
Let's let her have a bit of a fume.
57
00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:52,241
Wouldn't it be simpler to boil her in oil?
58
00:02:52,321 --> 00:02:54,401
Yes, but not as economical.
59
00:02:54,681 --> 00:02:57,281
Hi, Mr Fawlty, what time for the paella?
60
00:02:57,361 --> 00:02:59,561
Er... 9:00, but, secret, eh?
61
00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:01,001
Ah, sí, sí.
62
00:03:01,521 --> 00:03:03,201
- Oh, Mr Fawlty.
- Hm-mmm?
63
00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:06,161
- Have you decided about the car?
- The car?
64
00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:07,761
The money for the car.
65
00:03:07,841 --> 00:03:10,001
I spoke to Mrs Fawlty.
She said it was all right.
66
00:03:10,081 --> 00:03:11,361
I don't think she quite understands
67
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,801
the cash flow situation
vis-à-vis the frozen assets...
68
00:03:13,881 --> 00:03:16,321
It's only 100.
I'd pay you back in six weeks.
69
00:03:16,401 --> 00:03:17,401
Let me think about it.
70
00:03:17,481 --> 00:03:19,641
I've got to know this weekend.
They won't hold it.
71
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:22,441
This week? You should have told me.
72
00:03:22,521 --> 00:03:24,481
I told you three weeks ago.
73
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:28,241
Look, it's my anniversary.
I've got friends arriving. We'll discuss it later.
74
00:03:28,321 --> 00:03:31,401
When they get here,
give me a hand with the coats and drinks.
75
00:03:31,481 --> 00:03:33,681
I scratch your back, you scratch mine, eh?
76
00:03:33,761 --> 00:03:34,921
What's this, then?
77
00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:38,321
BOTH: Good morning, Mr Fawlty.
78
00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:40,161
Good morning, ladies.
79
00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:43,161
Could I have a word with you, Basil?
80
00:03:43,241 --> 00:03:45,041
Could it wait a few minutes, dear?
81
00:03:45,121 --> 00:03:46,161
No.
82
00:03:50,241 --> 00:03:53,481
Is everything all right?
You seem a little tense.
83
00:03:54,161 --> 00:03:56,001
Do you know what day it is today, Basil?
84
00:03:56,081 --> 00:03:58,641
It's the 16th today, dear.
85
00:03:59,001 --> 00:04:02,201
- It's the 17th, Basil.
- It's the 16th today, dear.
86
00:04:02,681 --> 00:04:04,881
It's the 17th, Basil.
87
00:04:04,961 --> 00:04:06,841
We'll soon settle this.
88
00:04:08,561 --> 00:04:11,521
Oh, yes, you are right. The 17th of April.
89
00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:13,321
Well, well, well.
90
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:16,041
Does that stir any memories in you?
91
00:04:16,561 --> 00:04:18,121
Memories?
92
00:04:18,361 --> 00:04:19,801
(BASIL GASPS)
93
00:04:19,961 --> 00:04:21,321
Agincourt?
94
00:04:24,281 --> 00:04:26,641
- What?
- Anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt.
95
00:04:28,881 --> 00:04:30,241
Trafalgar?
96
00:04:30,881 --> 00:04:33,081
Crécy? Poitiers? Yom Kippur?
97
00:04:33,881 --> 00:04:34,881
(BASIL CHUCKLING)
98
00:04:34,961 --> 00:04:38,241
Mr Fawlty,
Manuel says he's cooking a paella.
99
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,121
It's for Mrs Fawlty. Anniversary...
100
00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:42,401
- I can do paella, you know.
- Yes, I know.
101
00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:43,681
I have been to catering school.
102
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,961
Yes, but he is Spanish.
I thought it would be...
103
00:04:46,081 --> 00:04:50,521
Gazpacho, chicken andaluz, eggplant español,
Franco Fritters, I can do it.
104
00:04:50,601 --> 00:04:51,561
Of course you can.
105
00:04:51,681 --> 00:04:57,401
But he's wanted to do it ever since he got here.
I thought it would be rather nice. Just tonight.
106
00:05:01,361 --> 00:05:03,521
I don't want to cause trouble.
107
00:05:03,601 --> 00:05:04,921
Yes, you do.
108
00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:06,601
Now, don't you start.
I don't want an argument.
109
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,241
- No, please, please!
- Be quiet!
110
00:05:08,321 --> 00:05:09,961
I've told him I want you to do it.
111
00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:11,801
Mrs Fawlty, she go!
112
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,721
- What?
- She leave! She go out!
113
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:16,601
What?
114
00:05:17,641 --> 00:05:18,801
Sybil?
115
00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:23,001
Sybil! Sybil! Sybil, no!
116
00:05:23,081 --> 00:05:25,561
You don't understand! I remembered.
117
00:05:26,361 --> 00:05:30,361
There's a party. I've invited people over.
It's our anniversary!
118
00:05:43,161 --> 00:05:44,961
Everything all right?
119
00:05:46,121 --> 00:05:48,721
Bit of a bump. Just smoothing it out.
120
00:05:49,481 --> 00:05:52,961
- Are we too early?
- Oh, not at all. Come on in.
121
00:06:02,721 --> 00:06:03,921
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
122
00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:06,161
They're here! What do I say?
123
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,881
Say she's, um...
124
00:06:07,961 --> 00:06:11,321
"She's um"... Oh, brilliant!
125
00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:13,201
- Is a surprise party.
- Yes!
126
00:06:13,281 --> 00:06:14,601
- She no here...
- Right!
127
00:06:14,681 --> 00:06:16,361
That is surprise.
128
00:06:18,441 --> 00:06:19,561
Hello, Bas.
129
00:06:19,641 --> 00:06:20,681
- Say she's ill!
- She's ill.
130
00:06:20,761 --> 00:06:21,841
- What?
- She's ill, Sybil.
131
00:06:21,921 --> 00:06:23,041
What would you like to drink?
132
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:24,281
- Syb, ill?
- Yes.
133
00:06:24,361 --> 00:06:25,881
What's the matter?
134
00:06:25,961 --> 00:06:28,241
Did you hear that? I said, "Syb-ill?"
135
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,801
- Yes.
- Have you got it?
136
00:06:29,881 --> 00:06:30,921
No, I'm fine.
137
00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:35,161
No, I call her "Syb." So, "Syb-ill."
138
00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:37,041
"Bas-well."
139
00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:39,481
Man-well.
140
00:06:41,361 --> 00:06:44,321
- What's the matter, Basil?
- What have you done to her, eh?
141
00:06:44,401 --> 00:06:46,201
- Roger!
- She knows my name.
142
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,601
She's been learning it all night.
143
00:06:47,681 --> 00:06:50,601
- What's the matter, Basil?
- Nothing.
144
00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:54,641
- With Sybil?
- Oh, with Sybil... Quite a bit, actually.
145
00:06:54,721 --> 00:06:56,801
- Oh, dear.
- She's fine. Absolutely fine.
146
00:06:56,921 --> 00:07:00,441
She's feeling dreadful, but she'll live.
That's what counts in the long run, doesn't it?
147
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,881
I'll pop up and see her.
148
00:07:01,961 --> 00:07:04,001
You don't want to bother.
Come on, have a drink.
149
00:07:04,081 --> 00:07:07,201
- No, you go on. I'll see you in a minute.
- No, Alice. I wouldn't actually.
150
00:07:07,281 --> 00:07:09,441
- Let them have a natter.
- No, I mustn't.
151
00:07:09,521 --> 00:07:12,561
She's up there on her own.
I'm sure she'd like a little company.
152
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:13,761
- Uh-huh.
- I know I would.
153
00:07:13,841 --> 00:07:15,081
You wouldn't if you looked like her.
154
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:19,761
She's very swollen up. She's looks very...
You know what Sybil's like about her appearance.
155
00:07:19,841 --> 00:07:22,561
Don't be silly.
She won't mind me seeing her.
156
00:07:22,641 --> 00:07:23,961
She would. I think she would.
157
00:07:24,041 --> 00:07:26,841
It's her anniversary.
She's up there all on her own.
158
00:07:26,921 --> 00:07:29,081
Aghh!
159
00:07:29,561 --> 00:07:32,161
The old leg, bit of a gyp.
160
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,401
Better have a drink. Come on through.
161
00:07:34,481 --> 00:07:36,801
Poor Basil. Let me call her.
162
00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:38,121
What?
163
00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:40,521
Let me call her from down here
and see what she says.
164
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:43,441
- There's the phone.
- Come on, Bas. Let's have a drink.
165
00:07:43,521 --> 00:07:45,841
- No, please.
- Come on.
166
00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:48,561
- Why not?
- She's having a bit of a sleep.
167
00:07:48,641 --> 00:07:50,281
She can sleep all day, Basil.
168
00:07:50,361 --> 00:07:52,401
- She won't mind me...
- But she's lost her voice.
169
00:07:52,481 --> 00:07:54,321
- Lost her voice?
- Just like that.
170
00:07:54,401 --> 00:07:57,441
- Come on.
- Coming, Roger. After you, Alice.
171
00:07:59,841 --> 00:08:02,881
All right, Alice...
What would you like to drink?
172
00:08:02,961 --> 00:08:06,041
Gin and it, Basil. Has the doctor been?
173
00:08:06,481 --> 00:08:08,481
What's yours, Rog?
174
00:08:08,561 --> 00:08:10,841
- Gin and tonic.
- Oh, yes, of course.
175
00:08:10,921 --> 00:08:12,841
Basil, has the doctor been?
176
00:08:12,921 --> 00:08:14,241
Er... Nuts?
177
00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:19,401
They've had a row.
She's refused to come down.
178
00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:21,481
You were just asking about the doctor?
179
00:08:21,561 --> 00:08:23,521
- Yes.
- He hasn't been.
180
00:08:23,601 --> 00:08:26,921
- I expect we'll get him over this afternoon.
- Well, what a shame.
181
00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,681
Poor old Syb. On your anniversary, too.
182
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,841
- Hello, Polly.
- Hello, Mrs Tarry.
183
00:08:31,921 --> 00:08:33,961
Isn't it a shame about Mrs Fawlty?
184
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,481
Isn't it? The doctor said she's going
to be in bed for a couple of days.
185
00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:41,561
The doctor hasn't actually been yet.
I don't know who you were thinking of.
186
00:08:41,641 --> 00:08:44,721
But that man this morning,
he looked like a doctor.
187
00:08:44,801 --> 00:08:47,521
He did, actually. That's true.
But he wasn't, unfortunately.
188
00:08:47,601 --> 00:08:49,641
- He wasn't a doctor?
- No, he was a dentist.
189
00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:51,161
- A dentist?
- Mm-hmm.
190
00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:52,721
What was a dentist doing here?
191
00:08:52,841 --> 00:08:56,201
Staying in the hotel. He's a guest, you see?
Dentists do stay in hotels.
192
00:08:56,281 --> 00:08:59,801
But they don't go telling
people's wives to stay in bed.
193
00:09:00,321 --> 00:09:03,561
- He must have been talking about his wife.
- His wife?
194
00:09:03,641 --> 00:09:06,121
Jolly good luck.
Nice to see you both. Cheers.
195
00:09:06,201 --> 00:09:08,201
- Cheers.
- Up yours, Basil.
196
00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,801
- I hope she's better soon.
- Yes, yes.
197
00:09:11,881 --> 00:09:14,321
(CHUCKLING) Who, Syb,
or the dentist's wife?
198
00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:16,281
Ha! Ha!
199
00:09:16,721 --> 00:09:19,921
- You're both keeping well?
- Couldn't be better.
200
00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:21,441
- And you, Basil?
- I can't complain.
201
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:24,121
I could, but it wouldn't do any good.
202
00:09:24,201 --> 00:09:26,641
No, shame. On your anniversary.
203
00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:28,561
All comes out in the wash, doesn't it?
204
00:09:28,641 --> 00:09:30,521
We're thinking of having this room done up.
205
00:09:30,601 --> 00:09:32,001
- Really?
- Sort of a Captain's cabin.
206
00:09:32,121 --> 00:09:35,001
Charts on the wall, ropes, wheel in the corner,
that sort of thing.
207
00:09:35,081 --> 00:09:36,841
Give it a bit of class.
208
00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,801
Wasn't my idea, Roger.
209
00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:39,921
Poor Sybil.
210
00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:43,001
Hello. How are you? Hello, Basil.
211
00:09:43,081 --> 00:09:45,081
BASIL: Hello, Virginia.
212
00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:47,801
- Happy anniversary.
- Thank you.
213
00:09:47,881 --> 00:09:49,161
We've brought you a little surprise.
214
00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:51,481
Oh, can I see?
215
00:09:52,321 --> 00:09:53,801
Oh, cake? Lovely.
216
00:09:53,881 --> 00:09:56,081
- Jolly nice.
- Did you make it?
217
00:09:56,161 --> 00:09:57,241
(ALICE EXCLAIMING)
218
00:09:57,321 --> 00:09:59,041
Lots of extra marzipan.
219
00:09:59,121 --> 00:10:00,361
She's not well.
220
00:10:00,441 --> 00:10:02,281
- Sybil.
- Not well?
221
00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:05,121
- She's in bed.
- That's not like Sybil.
222
00:10:05,201 --> 00:10:06,921
She's lost her voice.
223
00:10:07,001 --> 00:10:08,801
- What is it?
- We're not absolutely sure.
224
00:10:08,881 --> 00:10:11,081
I bet she'd like a bit of that marzipan.
225
00:10:11,161 --> 00:10:12,601
- Roger.
- Cheer her up, Bas.
226
00:10:12,681 --> 00:10:14,641
Good idea. We'll take her up a slice.
227
00:10:14,721 --> 00:10:16,761
- I don't think we'd better.
- Well, why not?
228
00:10:16,841 --> 00:10:18,001
She really ought not to be disturbed.
229
00:10:18,081 --> 00:10:21,201
- Oh, just a minute, Basil.
- It's not a very good idea.
230
00:10:21,281 --> 00:10:23,801
What on earth's the matter with her?
Has the doctor been?
231
00:10:23,881 --> 00:10:26,481
No, but the dentist's had a good look.
232
00:10:27,641 --> 00:10:30,001
- The dentist?
- We called the doctor.
233
00:10:30,081 --> 00:10:31,561
We described the symptoms
to him over the phone.
234
00:10:31,681 --> 00:10:35,201
He said she ought to stay very quiet... Ah, Polly.
What would you like to drink, Virginia?
235
00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:36,961
Medium sherry, please.
236
00:10:37,041 --> 00:10:38,161
Mr Fawlty...
237
00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:39,401
What are the symptoms?
238
00:10:39,481 --> 00:10:41,921
She's lost her voice and
she's very puffed up.
239
00:10:42,001 --> 00:10:43,321
Yes, what is it?
240
00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:44,881
It's Terry. He being very difficult.
241
00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:46,281
Puffed up?
242
00:10:46,361 --> 00:10:48,881
He moved my pot.
He put his pot where my pot is.
243
00:10:48,961 --> 00:10:51,521
Polly, what's "puffed up"?
244
00:10:51,601 --> 00:10:52,601
Beer for me.
245
00:10:52,721 --> 00:10:56,441
- Put your pot somewhere else.
- I put it somewhere else, he move it again.
246
00:10:56,521 --> 00:10:58,161
- What's puffed up?
- (MUMBLING) The eyes.
247
00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:00,001
Tell him I said not to do it.
248
00:11:00,081 --> 00:11:01,121
- What?
- (MUMBLING) The eyes.
249
00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:04,721
I tell you he want to make trouble.
He push mop at my feet.
250
00:11:04,801 --> 00:11:06,161
Her thighs.
251
00:11:07,081 --> 00:11:08,521
Thighs?
252
00:11:08,681 --> 00:11:10,161
Most of her legs, actually.
253
00:11:10,241 --> 00:11:11,561
Just tell him. Go on.
254
00:11:11,641 --> 00:11:12,801
Basil!
255
00:11:13,481 --> 00:11:15,481
Polly says her legs are all puffed up.
256
00:11:15,561 --> 00:11:16,801
Are they?
257
00:11:19,201 --> 00:11:21,681
No, Sybil's.
258
00:11:22,161 --> 00:11:24,081
- What?
- Sybil's legs.
259
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,441
- Sybil's legs?
- Her thighs.
260
00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:28,881
Oh, yes, just a bit. A tiny bit.
261
00:11:28,961 --> 00:11:31,801
Mainly around the face... Around the eyes.
262
00:11:32,641 --> 00:11:36,161
Her face is puffed up, she's lost her voice,
and her legs are a bit...
263
00:11:36,241 --> 00:11:39,721
Expanded. Sad, isn't it?
Poor old sow. Ha! Ha!
264
00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:42,681
- When's the doctor coming?
- Later. Soon.
265
00:11:42,761 --> 00:11:44,121
- When?
- I don't know exactly.
266
00:11:44,201 --> 00:11:46,201
- I'd better go up and have a look.
- What?
267
00:11:46,281 --> 00:11:48,201
- She sounds ill.
- She is ill.
268
00:11:48,281 --> 00:11:50,761
That's why we don't want
people talking to her.
269
00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:53,921
I'm not going to talk to her, Basil.
I'm going to look at her.
270
00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:55,801
Look at her? She's ill, isn't she?
271
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,721
What's the bloody point of looking at her?
272
00:11:59,201 --> 00:12:01,321
I am a nurse, Basil.
273
00:12:01,401 --> 00:12:03,241
Oh, no! I know!
274
00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:04,921
(BASIL LAUGHING)
275
00:12:06,401 --> 00:12:07,481
Did you hear that, everyone?
276
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,841
All the years that I've known old Virginia,
she thinks I've forgotten she's a nurse.
277
00:12:10,921 --> 00:12:12,521
You're a marvel.
278
00:12:13,641 --> 00:12:15,281
- Please let me go.
- Hmm?
279
00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:16,481
I want to look at Sybil.
280
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:17,881
- Well, you can't.
- Why not?
281
00:12:17,961 --> 00:12:20,281
Because...
282
00:12:20,361 --> 00:12:23,121
You've lost weight, haven't you?
Isn't that absolutely marvellous?
283
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:26,121
Mr Fawlty? I think you ought to tell them.
284
00:12:26,921 --> 00:12:29,121
Oh. Right.
285
00:12:29,201 --> 00:12:31,801
About the doctor coming this morning?
286
00:12:32,561 --> 00:12:34,881
He came this morning. First thing.
287
00:12:34,961 --> 00:12:36,841
Why didn't you say?
288
00:12:38,161 --> 00:12:41,801
- He didn't want to worry you.
- I didn't want to worry you.
289
00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:43,721
Is it serious?
290
00:12:44,841 --> 00:12:46,241
- It might be.
- ALICE: Oh, dear!
291
00:12:46,321 --> 00:12:48,321
Not completely serious...
But, slightly serious.
292
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,241
ALICE: Poor Basil.
293
00:12:50,321 --> 00:12:53,161
It's all right.
I'd just rather we didn't talk about it.
294
00:12:53,241 --> 00:12:55,001
REG: Hello everyone!
KITTY: Hello.
295
00:12:55,081 --> 00:12:56,561
Hello, Basil.
296
00:12:58,041 --> 00:12:59,441
Hello, Reg.
297
00:12:59,761 --> 00:13:01,841
- Sybil's not here, is she?
- No, no.
298
00:13:01,921 --> 00:13:05,281
I told you so. I just saw her in town.
299
00:13:05,481 --> 00:13:06,801
What?
300
00:13:07,681 --> 00:13:09,441
In her car. In the high street.
301
00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:12,241
(STUTTERING) No, no. That's another woman.
302
00:13:12,321 --> 00:13:15,521
- What other woman?
- That woman who looks slightly like Sybil.
303
00:13:15,601 --> 00:13:17,441
You know her, don't you?
304
00:13:17,521 --> 00:13:18,521
Like Sybil?
305
00:13:18,601 --> 00:13:20,481
Yes, very broad here. She's from the north.
306
00:13:20,561 --> 00:13:21,841
Drives a red maxi?
307
00:13:21,921 --> 00:13:23,601
Her husband does. I think she borrowed it.
308
00:13:23,681 --> 00:13:26,201
Perhaps she stole yours?
It's not out there.
309
00:13:26,281 --> 00:13:27,601
It's in the garage, Rog.
310
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,241
- She looks like Sybil?
- Yes.
311
00:13:29,321 --> 00:13:30,401
She comes from the North?
312
00:13:30,481 --> 00:13:33,361
She has a Northern accent.
I assume she's from the North.
313
00:13:33,441 --> 00:13:35,281
- You've spoken to her?
- Mm-hmm.
314
00:13:35,361 --> 00:13:36,681
- What's her name?
- I don't know her name!
315
00:13:36,761 --> 00:13:39,041
I only met her once. At a fete.
316
00:13:39,121 --> 00:13:42,081
- Sorry, Basil, I didn't mean.
- No, of course.
317
00:13:42,361 --> 00:13:43,961
By the way, where is Sybil?
318
00:13:44,041 --> 00:13:45,921
- She's in bed.
- Oh, dear.
319
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,201
She's really not well.
She really mustn't see anybody.
320
00:13:48,281 --> 00:13:49,521
- What? Not at all?
- No.
321
00:13:49,601 --> 00:13:51,361
Can't we put our heads around the corner?
322
00:13:51,441 --> 00:13:53,161
She mustn't have any excitement.
323
00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:55,721
- Oh, Basil.
- What do you mean, "Oh, Basil"?
324
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,801
We are her oldest friends.
It can only do her good.
325
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,641
We've all come over here to see you both.
326
00:14:00,721 --> 00:14:02,601
Sorry if you've been put out.
327
00:14:02,681 --> 00:14:05,361
You have some drinks, plenty of nuts,
see your old friends, have some laughs.
328
00:14:05,441 --> 00:14:08,721
If that isn't good enough,
I'll refund your petrol.
329
00:14:09,561 --> 00:14:11,441
- Steady on, Basil.
- I'm sorry.
330
00:14:11,521 --> 00:14:13,921
We understand. You're a bit upset.
331
00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:15,041
Well, you know...
332
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,641
You know us well enough.
333
00:14:17,721 --> 00:14:19,281
You should've called it off.
Waited until she's better.
334
00:14:19,361 --> 00:14:22,121
- There just wasn't time.
- Wasn't time?
335
00:14:22,201 --> 00:14:23,801
She only began to puff
up about an hour ago.
336
00:14:23,881 --> 00:14:26,761
But you said the doctor
came first thing this morning.
337
00:14:26,881 --> 00:14:31,161
Yes, that's right. That was for the throat.
The puffing up started after he'd gone, okay?
338
00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:34,241
- After?
- Yes, after. Are you taking notes?
339
00:14:34,321 --> 00:14:36,841
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to see her.
340
00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:41,761
There is something very peculiar about all this.
I won't stand here while an old friend like Sybil...
341
00:14:41,841 --> 00:14:44,761
It's perfectly Sybil. Simple's not well.
342
00:14:44,841 --> 00:14:46,481
She lost her throat and her voice hurt.
343
00:14:46,561 --> 00:14:49,521
The doctor said it was a bit serious.
Not a lot, a bit.
344
00:14:49,601 --> 00:14:52,961
He went away, she started to puff up,
he's coming back later this afternoon,
345
00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:54,881
and it's best for her to be on her own.
346
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,241
What is so peculiar about that?
347
00:14:57,801 --> 00:15:00,121
Her driving around in the town.
348
00:15:01,681 --> 00:15:03,041
What did you say?
349
00:15:03,121 --> 00:15:05,761
Sorry, just a joke. Can I have another gin?
350
00:15:05,841 --> 00:15:09,001
Just a joke? She's down there, in town,
driving around? Is that what you think?
351
00:15:09,081 --> 00:15:10,641
Of course it isn't.
352
00:15:10,761 --> 00:15:15,561
Obviously, I've been standing here making up
crackpot stories about my wife being seriously ill.
353
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:19,801
No, of course not... It was just a bit funny
Kitty seeing that northern woman in the car.
354
00:15:19,881 --> 00:15:22,521
Funny? Oh, I see.
355
00:15:22,601 --> 00:15:26,361
You think that was Sybil in the car
and not upstairs?
356
00:15:26,441 --> 00:15:29,521
Oh, I understand. I've got it now.
357
00:15:29,601 --> 00:15:31,361
What are we all waiting around here for?
358
00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:33,561
Come on, everybody upstairs.
359
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,881
- Come on. All of you.
- No, Basil.
360
00:15:35,961 --> 00:15:38,081
Everyone who thinks I'm a liar, come on up.
361
00:15:38,161 --> 00:15:39,961
Of course, we don't.
362
00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:42,481
- Hang on, old man.
- Don't get like that.
363
00:15:42,561 --> 00:15:44,561
- Come and see Sybil.
- We don't want to.
364
00:15:44,641 --> 00:15:46,401
It's best to leave her,
we'll see her another time.
365
00:15:46,481 --> 00:15:47,921
When she's feeling better.
366
00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:50,041
- Roger wants to.
- We mustn't disturb her.
367
00:15:50,121 --> 00:15:53,201
- If Roger wants to...
- He doesn't, Basil.
368
00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:57,161
- We could just say hello.
- Oh, Roger!
369
00:15:57,241 --> 00:15:59,161
Right. All right! Fine!
370
00:15:59,241 --> 00:16:01,321
Okay, then. Fine!
371
00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:04,241
No problem! Suits me. Good idea.
372
00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:09,001
I'll just pop upstairs and ask her to stop dying
then you can all come up and identify her.
373
00:16:09,081 --> 00:16:10,641
- Basil!
- Polly, give me a hand.
374
00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:14,041
Help yourself to a drink.
Make yourself at home. Relax!
375
00:16:14,121 --> 00:16:15,161
Any more nuts?
376
00:16:15,881 --> 00:16:17,601
- What are you doing?
- You won't have to...
377
00:16:17,681 --> 00:16:19,161
What? Oh, no.
378
00:16:19,241 --> 00:16:20,601
- Come on.
- No, no, no.
379
00:16:20,681 --> 00:16:22,561
No! I won't.
380
00:16:22,641 --> 00:16:24,001
Yes, you will.
381
00:16:24,081 --> 00:16:27,601
It's easy. Put on her dark glasses,
and one of her wigs.
382
00:16:27,681 --> 00:16:28,921
(POLLY SCREAMING)
383
00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:31,361
- I'll keep them away from you.
- Will you listen to me?
384
00:16:31,441 --> 00:16:34,761
- We'll draw the curtains.
- They'd never believe I was Mrs Fawlty.
385
00:16:34,841 --> 00:16:37,321
- Seeing is believing.
- I don't look like her.
386
00:16:37,401 --> 00:16:38,401
You're a woman, aren't you?
387
00:16:38,481 --> 00:16:40,681
- My face is too long.
- We'll shorten it.
388
00:16:40,761 --> 00:16:42,641
You've lost your voice.
All you have to do is wave.
389
00:16:42,721 --> 00:16:44,641
- Wave?
- Put one hand up and jiggle it about.
390
00:16:44,721 --> 00:16:47,041
You'll soon get the hang of it.
391
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:48,801
Mr Fawlty...
392
00:16:48,921 --> 00:16:52,441
I know you're very excited,
you might even be having a nervous breakdown.
393
00:16:52,521 --> 00:16:54,161
I don't know. I'm no expert...
394
00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:56,681
You must really see this
isn't going to work!
395
00:16:56,761 --> 00:16:58,521
- Get that on.
- It isn't going to work.
396
00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,881
- What's the matter?
- I'm not doing it!
397
00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:04,321
You want to be in a Marx Brothers film,
that's your problem. I'm not interested.
398
00:17:04,401 --> 00:17:05,641
- Not interested?
- No.
399
00:17:05,721 --> 00:17:07,161
- This is all your fault.
- My fault?
400
00:17:07,241 --> 00:17:08,721
You said to say she was ill!
401
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:11,561
You invited them to come up here.
They didn't even want to!
402
00:17:11,641 --> 00:17:13,361
You be Sybil. You get into the bed.
403
00:17:13,441 --> 00:17:15,241
I'm too big! I've got a moustache!
404
00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:17,561
What's this supposed to be?
A great big hairy bogey?
405
00:17:17,641 --> 00:17:20,441
It's something you get
when you're puffed up!
406
00:17:20,881 --> 00:17:24,321
I'll ruin you.
You'll never waitress in Torquay again.
407
00:17:24,761 --> 00:17:26,801
Waitress? That's a joke.
408
00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:28,761
I help out at reception. I clean the rooms.
409
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:32,321
I deal with the tradesmen,
I man the switchboard, I change the fuses,
410
00:17:32,401 --> 00:17:35,921
if you think my duties include
impersonating members of your family,
411
00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:38,721
you have one more screw
loose than I thought.
412
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,321
I'm not doing it. Do you understand?
413
00:17:40,401 --> 00:17:42,761
You get yourself out of it.
It's nothing to do with me.
414
00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:44,361
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
415
00:17:44,801 --> 00:17:46,081
(GASPING)
416
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,521
A hundred for the car.
417
00:17:59,281 --> 00:18:00,641
All right.
418
00:18:01,361 --> 00:18:02,361
- Now!
- What?
419
00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:03,761
- Now!
- Now?
420
00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:05,361
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
421
00:18:08,561 --> 00:18:09,681
Hello.
422
00:18:09,761 --> 00:18:10,961
- Is not possible.
- What?
423
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:12,521
Is not possible for me. Please come.
424
00:18:12,601 --> 00:18:14,761
- What is it?
- It's Terry. Please come.
425
00:18:14,841 --> 00:18:18,121
He tell me I not know how to make a paella.
426
00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:19,681
- He tell me...
- You tell him...
427
00:18:19,761 --> 00:18:23,441
I tell him paella is Spanish,
not cockney stinking eel pie!
428
00:18:23,681 --> 00:18:25,841
I make paella like my mama...
429
00:18:25,921 --> 00:18:27,041
I'm not interested.
430
00:18:27,121 --> 00:18:28,761
My mama's recipe is big in Barcelona.
431
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,521
- Go away.
- Please, you come!
432
00:18:30,601 --> 00:18:33,681
He called me ignorant wog motherboy crump.
433
00:18:33,761 --> 00:18:34,881
Let go of me.
434
00:18:34,961 --> 00:18:36,441
- REG: Basil?
- Yes?
435
00:18:36,521 --> 00:18:38,081
You tell Terry let you alone.
436
00:18:38,161 --> 00:18:39,321
- Basil?
- Yes, Reg.
437
00:18:39,401 --> 00:18:40,921
Go on. Go away.
438
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:42,641
Not you, Reg.
439
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:44,721
MANUEL: Is big in Barcelona.
440
00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:47,961
- Are we supposed to come up now?
- In a moment, Reg.
441
00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:49,801
No, come on up now.
442
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,561
She's just touching up the worst bits.
443
00:18:54,841 --> 00:18:56,201
How is she feeling?
444
00:18:56,321 --> 00:19:00,121
I woke her and told her that you'd
come over and she's very pleased.
445
00:19:00,201 --> 00:19:02,161
But she's very weak and her throat...
446
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:03,921
She has great difficulty
expressing herself.
447
00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:05,601
(GUESTS SIGHING)
448
00:19:05,921 --> 00:19:07,481
Makes a change.
449
00:19:09,521 --> 00:19:11,961
She'll be out to see you in a moment.
She's pretty quick with the ol'...
450
00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,761
She's not bothering to make up for
us, is she?
451
00:19:13,841 --> 00:19:16,001
No, no, no. Just, you know...
452
00:19:18,961 --> 00:19:20,761
She asked me to thank you
and to say how very much
453
00:19:20,841 --> 00:19:22,361
she's looking forward to seeing you all.
454
00:19:22,441 --> 00:19:24,001
That's nice.
455
00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:26,921
She can speak a little, then?
456
00:19:28,121 --> 00:19:30,321
Not really, no. I see what you mean.
457
00:19:30,441 --> 00:19:34,441
She wrote that down on one of the postcards
that she keeps by the side of the bed.
458
00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:36,121
Did she stamp it?
459
00:19:39,521 --> 00:19:41,121
Do you have an ashtray?
460
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:42,441
Yes, I'll get one.
461
00:19:42,521 --> 00:19:45,521
- There's no need to...
- No bother. Just a second.
462
00:19:55,841 --> 00:19:57,241
Mr Fawlty!
463
00:19:59,361 --> 00:20:02,281
He put mince in it.
He put bloody mince in it.
464
00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:03,521
Look what you've done!
465
00:20:03,601 --> 00:20:04,961
(GASPS) Sorry! Sorry!
466
00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:07,081
I tell him paella is fish dish.
467
00:20:07,161 --> 00:20:09,041
- Go away!
- What I do?
468
00:20:09,121 --> 00:20:10,321
Arriba! Vamos!
469
00:20:10,401 --> 00:20:11,401
(MANUEL SCREAMING)
470
00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:16,441
- This is fun, isn't it?
- Roger!
471
00:20:16,561 --> 00:20:21,561
Who wants to go to the boozer or play golf,
when you can come to one of Basil's do's?
472
00:20:21,641 --> 00:20:23,521
Come on, Roger.
473
00:20:23,601 --> 00:20:26,521
It can't be easy for him
with Sybil lying there ill.
474
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,361
- You know what I think about that?
- What?
475
00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:30,641
Shh!
476
00:20:31,321 --> 00:20:33,361
Here we are. I brought some nuts.
477
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,841
You shouldn't have.
478
00:20:34,921 --> 00:20:36,361
If you could just take the ashtray.
479
00:20:36,441 --> 00:20:37,881
- Oh!
- Sorry.
480
00:20:37,961 --> 00:20:40,161
- Never mind.
- I'll get some more.
481
00:20:40,241 --> 00:20:41,841
- We've got the crisps.
- I don't mind.
482
00:20:41,921 --> 00:20:44,881
- VIRGINIA: The crisps will be lovely.
- Really?
483
00:20:44,961 --> 00:20:47,361
- Crisp, Alice?
- Thank you.
484
00:20:47,441 --> 00:20:48,881
- Arthur, would you like...
- Not for me.
485
00:20:48,961 --> 00:20:50,761
- Would you like a crisp?
- Thank you.
486
00:20:50,841 --> 00:20:52,561
Hold them a moment. I'll get a brush.
487
00:20:52,641 --> 00:20:54,121
A "Basil brush."
488
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,681
BASIL: Ha! Ha! Very good!
489
00:20:55,761 --> 00:20:57,201
Broom, broom!
490
00:20:57,281 --> 00:20:59,841
Roger, what did you mean?
491
00:20:59,921 --> 00:21:02,641
They've had a row.
She's refused to come down.
492
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:05,441
- Roger!
- He's embarrassed her into seeing us.
493
00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:07,321
BASIL: I'm not interested!
494
00:21:07,401 --> 00:21:08,761
I'm not interested.
495
00:21:08,841 --> 00:21:10,481
(MANUEL SCREAMING)
496
00:21:12,161 --> 00:21:14,561
Don't you bother. Leave it to me.
497
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:17,201
Basil?
498
00:21:18,681 --> 00:21:21,481
Basil, perhaps she's ready now?
499
00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:24,921
Oh, yes. Good idea. I'll just have a look.
500
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:30,641
Not quite. Nearly.
501
00:21:32,321 --> 00:21:34,081
Anyone care for another crisp?
502
00:21:34,161 --> 00:21:35,321
No, no.
503
00:21:36,601 --> 00:21:38,561
Have you got a choc ice?
504
00:21:39,481 --> 00:21:41,521
I'll put them there, just help yourselves.
505
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:44,481
- Nice carpet, Bas.
- Thank you. A bit worn now.
506
00:21:44,561 --> 00:21:47,241
I thought that was part of the pattern.
507
00:21:47,841 --> 00:21:50,761
- Nice paper, Basil.
- We got it to go with the carpet.
508
00:21:50,841 --> 00:21:52,521
- To go with it?
- That's right, Roger.
509
00:21:52,601 --> 00:21:55,241
One of them will have to go.
My money's on the carpet.
510
00:21:55,321 --> 00:21:56,401
Please!
511
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,481
You read a lot of Oscar Wilde, do you?
512
00:21:58,561 --> 00:22:00,841
I don't know if you've ever
seen the moulding up there...
513
00:22:00,921 --> 00:22:02,121
(CRISPS CRUNCHING)
514
00:22:02,201 --> 00:22:05,241
- Oh, dear!
- It's all right. I'll clean it up.
515
00:22:05,521 --> 00:22:07,041
What time's the main feature?
516
00:22:07,121 --> 00:22:10,481
Morning, Fawlty.
Lovely day for a round of golf.
517
00:22:10,561 --> 00:22:11,721
Morning, Major. Yes.
518
00:22:11,801 --> 00:22:15,321
- Anyone care to make up a four?
- No, we're going to see Sybil.
519
00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:18,601
- Playing a match, is she?
- No, she's ill. Really quite ill.
520
00:22:18,681 --> 00:22:20,441
She should be in bed.
521
00:22:20,521 --> 00:22:22,401
Yes, she is. We're going to see her.
522
00:22:22,481 --> 00:22:25,241
Another lot in there with her, is there?
523
00:22:25,321 --> 00:22:28,401
May I introduce Major
Gowen, our oldest resident?
524
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,841
- Good morning, Major.
- Delighted to meet you.
525
00:22:30,921 --> 00:22:32,241
Welcome to Torquay.
526
00:22:34,401 --> 00:22:35,601
How do you do?
527
00:22:35,681 --> 00:22:37,761
BASIL: She's ready now. Come on in.
528
00:22:37,841 --> 00:22:39,081
Not you.
529
00:22:40,481 --> 00:22:44,321
ALICE: Sybil?
VIRGINIA: Hello, darling, don't try and speak.
530
00:22:44,401 --> 00:22:46,321
KITTY: The gang's here.
ALICE: Sorry you're not well.
531
00:22:46,401 --> 00:22:47,481
KITTY: Such a shame.
532
00:22:47,561 --> 00:22:49,721
VIRGINIA: We thought
we'd come wish you happy anniversary.
533
00:22:49,801 --> 00:22:50,881
ARTHUR: Happy anniversary!
534
00:22:50,961 --> 00:22:51,921
(CLATTERING)
535
00:22:52,041 --> 00:22:54,641
VIRGINIA: What's happened?
ARTHUR: Reg has fallen over. You all right, Reg?
536
00:22:54,721 --> 00:22:55,721
REG: Done my ankle.
537
00:22:55,801 --> 00:22:57,041
ALICE: Oh, dear.
ROGER: You all right, Reg?
538
00:22:57,121 --> 00:22:59,521
VIRGINIA: Careful!
KITTY: It's so dark in here.
539
00:22:59,601 --> 00:23:01,681
BASIL: Bloody light's not working.
REG: I tripped over something.
540
00:23:01,761 --> 00:23:02,761
(CLANGING)
541
00:23:02,841 --> 00:23:04,561
BASIL: Who's that?
KITTY: It's me.
542
00:23:04,641 --> 00:23:06,441
ALICE: It's Kitty!
VIRGINIA: Where are you, dear?
543
00:23:06,521 --> 00:23:09,001
REG: Can't we have some light in here?
BASIL: All right, hang on.
544
00:23:09,081 --> 00:23:12,041
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
545
00:23:12,121 --> 00:23:13,241
BASIL: Okay.
546
00:23:13,321 --> 00:23:15,281
ROGER: Now the light's
on we can see the screen.
547
00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:18,161
BASIL: Oh, dear.
VIRGINIA: Are you all right, Kitty?
548
00:23:18,241 --> 00:23:19,521
(KITTY SQUEALS)
549
00:23:19,601 --> 00:23:21,121
You shouldn't have gone
to all this trouble.
550
00:23:22,081 --> 00:23:25,481
Come on up here. You both all right?
Come on round there.
551
00:23:25,561 --> 00:23:27,681
You can see her from there.
552
00:23:27,801 --> 00:23:29,921
Is everything all right? Here she is.
553
00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:31,321
Hello, Sybil.
554
00:23:31,401 --> 00:23:32,441
(ALL AGREEING)
555
00:23:32,521 --> 00:23:34,961
ROGER: There's something there.
I can see it moving.
556
00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:37,761
- It's a bit dark.
- Her eyes are very sensitive.
557
00:23:37,841 --> 00:23:40,561
- She's got her glasses.
- I'll just draw the curtains.
558
00:23:40,641 --> 00:23:42,161
Yes, I know. Trust me, dear.
559
00:23:42,241 --> 00:23:43,481
(MUFFLED)
560
00:23:46,561 --> 00:23:47,721
There we are. Is that better?
561
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:48,801
(ALL SIGHING)
562
00:23:48,881 --> 00:23:50,521
Happy anniversary.
563
00:23:50,601 --> 00:23:52,241
(ALL WISHING)
564
00:23:52,321 --> 00:23:54,401
ALICE: You poor dear.
565
00:23:55,481 --> 00:23:57,721
VIRGINIA: How are you feeling?
566
00:23:58,561 --> 00:24:00,521
Oh, shame.
567
00:24:00,601 --> 00:24:02,401
You're very swollen.
568
00:24:02,521 --> 00:24:03,841
(AGREEING)
569
00:24:04,721 --> 00:24:05,921
Her thighs.
570
00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:07,521
We brought you a cake.
571
00:24:07,601 --> 00:24:08,681
VIRGINIA: Yes.
572
00:24:08,761 --> 00:24:10,401
Have a bit, dear.
573
00:24:10,481 --> 00:24:11,961
(BASIL CHATTERING)
574
00:24:12,041 --> 00:24:13,681
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
575
00:24:14,481 --> 00:24:16,561
(CHUCKLING) Fifteen years, eh?
576
00:24:16,641 --> 00:24:18,281
Happy anniversary.
577
00:24:18,441 --> 00:24:20,241
(ALL CONGRATULATING)
578
00:24:21,121 --> 00:24:23,041
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
579
00:24:23,441 --> 00:24:25,601
I think she's feeling a little tired now.
580
00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:27,681
Yes, all that waving would wear anyone out.
581
00:24:27,761 --> 00:24:30,281
Perhaps we'd better all...
582
00:24:30,761 --> 00:24:33,401
What's in her mouth? That white stuff?
583
00:24:33,561 --> 00:24:36,521
Just foam. From the excitement.
584
00:24:37,561 --> 00:24:39,041
Fifteen years, eh?
585
00:24:39,121 --> 00:24:40,921
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
586
00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:42,561
Aghh!
587
00:24:42,641 --> 00:24:44,401
What is it?
588
00:24:44,481 --> 00:24:47,601
I just remembered something downstairs.
You stay here, have a chat with Polly...
589
00:24:47,681 --> 00:24:50,001
Sybil! Sybil! Shan't be a moment!
590
00:24:50,361 --> 00:24:53,081
A chat? Does anyone know semaphore?
591
00:24:57,241 --> 00:24:58,481
Hello, dear.
592
00:24:58,561 --> 00:25:00,881
I came back for my clubs. I'm not staying.
593
00:25:00,961 --> 00:25:02,721
Oh, aren't you? Okay.
594
00:25:03,281 --> 00:25:04,361
What?
595
00:25:04,681 --> 00:25:06,281
I'm sure you know best.
596
00:25:06,361 --> 00:25:08,761
You don't even want me to, do you?
597
00:25:09,681 --> 00:25:11,121
What's that?
598
00:25:12,521 --> 00:25:15,761
Fifteen years I've been with you!
When I think what I might have had.
599
00:25:15,841 --> 00:25:17,961
Fifteen years.
600
00:25:18,081 --> 00:25:19,601
(BASIL SIGHING)
601
00:25:19,801 --> 00:25:21,001
You want me to go, don't you?
602
00:25:21,081 --> 00:25:24,001
No, but you've obviously made your mind up.
603
00:25:24,761 --> 00:25:27,041
- I won't forget this.
- Won't you, dear?
604
00:25:27,121 --> 00:25:28,481
No, I won't.
605
00:25:29,801 --> 00:25:32,161
I'm going now. I think it's best.
606
00:25:32,241 --> 00:25:33,801
All right, dear.
607
00:25:35,481 --> 00:25:37,201
(CRYING) Bye, Basil.
608
00:25:37,401 --> 00:25:38,921
Cheerio, dear.
609
00:25:39,961 --> 00:25:41,561
Drive carefully.
610
00:25:42,081 --> 00:25:43,841
REG: Get well soon.
ARTHUR: Look after yourself.
611
00:25:43,921 --> 00:25:47,361
We'll have a little party
when you're feeling better.
612
00:25:47,521 --> 00:25:50,201
I don't like leaving you like this.
613
00:25:50,961 --> 00:25:54,201
Let me just have a little feel.
Just to see if...
614
00:25:55,761 --> 00:25:58,281
Don't be frightened.
I'm not going to hurt you.
615
00:25:58,361 --> 00:25:59,441
(POLLY WHIMPERING)
616
00:25:59,521 --> 00:26:02,081
I'll just feel your glands.
617
00:26:02,441 --> 00:26:04,241
Don't be silly, Sybil.
618
00:26:04,321 --> 00:26:06,881
Just trust me. It's for your own good.
619
00:26:06,961 --> 00:26:08,601
Don't be silly... Aghh!
620
00:26:08,681 --> 00:26:09,841
(VIRGINIA GROANING)
621
00:26:09,921 --> 00:26:11,041
What's going on?
622
00:26:11,121 --> 00:26:13,321
She hit me, Basil!
623
00:26:13,401 --> 00:26:14,481
What?
624
00:26:14,561 --> 00:26:17,281
I was trying to examine her.
She lashed out.
625
00:26:17,361 --> 00:26:19,081
Don't hit our friends.
626
00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:21,401
I know you're not feeling 100%,
but control yourself.
627
00:26:21,481 --> 00:26:22,801
I'm sorry, she's not herself today.
628
00:26:22,881 --> 00:26:27,401
The doctor will be over here soon.
I'll give you a call, tell you what he says.
629
00:26:27,481 --> 00:26:29,761
Anyone care for another drink?
630
00:26:30,081 --> 00:26:33,041
- We ought to be going.
- That would be quite nice.
631
00:26:33,121 --> 00:26:34,561
(VIRGINIA CRYING)
632
00:26:34,801 --> 00:26:36,041
(SYBIL CRYING)
633
00:26:36,121 --> 00:26:41,001
They're all the same, dear.
They're all the same. Believe me.
634
00:26:41,081 --> 00:26:42,961
Oh, I know.
635
00:26:43,201 --> 00:26:45,241
Now you forget all about it.
636
00:26:45,321 --> 00:26:49,121
We're going to have a nice game of golf
and go out to dinner.
637
00:26:50,161 --> 00:26:51,641
Did you get your clubs?
638
00:26:51,961 --> 00:26:53,881
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
639
00:26:59,561 --> 00:27:03,201
Awfully nice to have seen you all.
Thanks for coming over.
640
00:27:04,001 --> 00:27:05,481
Not at all.
641
00:27:05,561 --> 00:27:07,841
We must do this more often.
When they're fit again.
642
00:27:07,921 --> 00:27:10,081
Sorry about all the injuries.
643
00:27:10,521 --> 00:27:14,041
Perhaps when Sybil's better,
we can all get together.
644
00:27:19,841 --> 00:27:22,961
How extraordinary.
We were just talking about you.
645
00:27:23,041 --> 00:27:25,401
Basil Fawlty. We met once at a fete.
646
00:27:25,521 --> 00:27:29,401
Let me show you where it is.
How is the north? Have you been there recently?
647
00:27:30,121 --> 00:27:31,641
(BOTH GRUNTING)
648
00:27:34,001 --> 00:27:36,041
(TERRY AND MANUEL ARGUING)
649
00:27:37,881 --> 00:27:40,441
I'll explain everything in a moment.
650
00:27:40,521 --> 00:27:42,281
(UTENSILS CLANGING)
651
00:27:42,801 --> 00:27:44,281
(BOTH ARGUING)
652
00:27:47,281 --> 00:27:48,441
(BASIL EXCLAIMS)
653
00:27:48,561 --> 00:27:51,601
What a coincidence.
She's thinking of buying one of our fridges.
654
00:27:51,681 --> 00:27:54,921
Lovely to have seen you,
and sorry about the ankle.
655
00:27:55,121 --> 00:27:57,681
Yes, keep the head back.
656
00:27:59,081 --> 00:28:00,481
(CHATTERING)
657
00:28:01,441 --> 00:28:02,801
Great fun.
658
00:28:07,441 --> 00:28:08,841
BASIL: Whew.
659
00:28:09,841 --> 00:28:11,321
Piece of cake.
660
00:28:11,761 --> 00:28:13,761
Now comes the tricky bit.