1 00:00:33,330 --> 00:00:38,730 90 % of it is a wonderful, relaxing experience with just 10 % assault. 2 00:00:39,770 --> 00:00:40,770 Woohoo! 3 00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,110 We're here, baby. 4 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,130 Most travellers avoid bad reviews. 5 00:00:45,970 --> 00:00:47,010 Let's see what the review says. 6 00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:47,989 One star. 7 00:00:47,990 --> 00:00:50,250 One star. One star. I've never seen anything more stupid. 8 00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:52,950 If I could give it zero stars, I would. But not us. 9 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,030 I'm a woman in a man's world. I make up my own mind. 10 00:00:56,510 --> 00:00:59,090 I'm Sarah Pascoe. I'm brilliant at this. 11 00:00:59,410 --> 00:01:00,630 I'm Roisin Conaty. 12 00:01:00,850 --> 00:01:02,090 Come on, fish it, fish it. 13 00:01:02,390 --> 00:01:05,630 We're comedians, but more importantly, best friends. 14 00:01:06,130 --> 00:01:09,390 As someone who has received bad reviews, I will always try to look for the good. 15 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,830 So we're turning the tables on the review site. 16 00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:15,290 They're so busy typing in their phone moment that they've got to look out. 17 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,990 And visiting places based on the worst reviews. 18 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:22,980 I'm close to it. Nothing to be afraid of. My review is 100 stars. 19 00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:25,760 So will this journey of salvation be a five star fun fest? 20 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,620 I'm an absolute killer. 21 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:33,380 Or are we in for a holiday from hell? 22 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:53,880 Istanbul, baby. 23 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,380 It's got a lot going on. It smells delicious. 24 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:00,560 Hello. 25 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,540 I would like to eat some lovely Turkish food. 26 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,759 Am I getting helim? You betcha. Am I getting sujuk? You betcha. Am I getting 27 00:02:08,759 --> 00:02:10,539 iskender? You betcha. I think I'm going to get run over. 28 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,800 Am I going to get run over? You betcha. 29 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,900 Over 18 million tourists per year travel to Istanbul. 30 00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:25,470 the only major city in the world that straddles two continents, Asia and 31 00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:30,650 Which one online reviewer says is smelly, packed and gave her husband food 32 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:35,390 poisoning? So we're here to find out if she's right. We've got reviews, optimism 33 00:02:35,390 --> 00:02:37,350 and a jumbo pack of Imodium. 34 00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:40,830 So what's the name of the hotel? 35 00:02:41,470 --> 00:02:42,470 Elite. 36 00:02:42,910 --> 00:02:44,150 It's like a comedy show. 37 00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:46,010 We're hungry. Great. 38 00:02:46,210 --> 00:02:47,210 I'm going to love it. 39 00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:48,790 Only we were not laughing. 40 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:50,360 Like my gigs. 41 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,220 We're staying at the Elite World Hotel. 42 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,320 And at first glance, it looks luxurious. 43 00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:58,420 Opulent, in fact. 44 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:04,360 But we're here because this five -star hotel has a secret. 45 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,400 Oh, the lobby looks nice. 46 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:07,680 Is that reassuring? 47 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,580 I think this is stunning. 48 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:14,580 It is pretty. 49 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:15,940 It's very five -star -y. 50 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,400 Yeah, glamour. 51 00:03:19,850 --> 00:03:21,690 Oh. Oh. 52 00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:23,190 Oh. Oh. 53 00:03:23,510 --> 00:03:24,510 Yeah. 54 00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:31,970 They've all had hair transplants. Yeah. 55 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:35,850 The hair transplant. 56 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,510 Imagine you come on your honeymoon. 57 00:03:41,650 --> 00:03:43,990 All the vans are for the clinic. 58 00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:48,400 What have you... sign me up for this isn't me i'm anti -plastic surgery this 59 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:54,180 isn't me i think you're all beautiful as you are not you you made the right 60 00:03:54,180 --> 00:04:00,440 plastic surgery in terms of beauty treatments is probably one of the 61 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,640 tourist attractions in istanbul and the hotel we're staying at has got loads of 62 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:10,640 people who are ostensibly on holiday come from other countries to get hair 63 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,020 transplants to get all different kinds of surgery 64 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:17,660 In fact, hair transplants make up half of Turkey's medical tourism industry, 65 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,740 worth over $1 billion a year. 66 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:25,860 That's a lot of cat flushing around. Speaking of flushing around, we're off 67 00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:28,420 Istanbul's legendary waterway, the Bosworth. 68 00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:30,880 The only time I've ever missed a flight was in Istanbul. 69 00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:35,240 Left the hotel five hours before my flight and wasn't even close to making 70 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:38,360 Taxi driver gave me a packet of cigarettes to ease the stress. 71 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:39,719 Start smoking. 72 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,940 You're never going to make your plane. 73 00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,260 You're going to live here and you're going to smoke. 74 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,760 Sometimes you don't move for up to 20 minutes and up. That's not even the 75 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:52,320 part. The constant honking while nothing is moving is. Well, we've not heard any 76 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,900 honking. It's all been very civilised. 77 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,260 There's the honking. 78 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:57,220 Wow, guys. 79 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:58,640 You manifested it. 80 00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:01,600 That is... What you focus on prospers. 81 00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:03,760 Now you point it out, everyone's honking. 82 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,820 Let's get the honking on. I've just not noticed before. 83 00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:09,460 Everyone's honking 24 -7. OK. 84 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,760 How did I not notice that? It's a honk -off. 85 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,280 It's a honk -off. This place be honking. 86 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:18,640 Thankfully, I've got a more peaceful way of getting around the site. 87 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:25,300 Water bikes on the Prospers? Yep. That sounds fun, doesn't it? 88 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:30,040 beautiful open water you seem to be skipping over the word water bike what 89 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,540 really hoping to get out of it is 45 minutes of seeing all the best parts of 90 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,380 istanbul i've done it take it off the list 91 00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:42,640 hello 92 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,780 hello hello we're here to do the water bike yes 93 00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:01,970 Has anyone ever fallen in the water? 94 00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:06,190 No. I believe that we could be the first people to fall in ever off a water bike 95 00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:07,210 in the Bosphorus, yeah. 96 00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:09,250 I've never seen anything like this. 97 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:10,770 It's a bike. 98 00:06:11,690 --> 00:06:14,410 It's a boat. And it's a... 99 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:18,470 The decking for your back garden. When I first saw the bike, I thought, oh, 100 00:06:18,470 --> 00:06:20,850 yeah, it's just an ironing board on a lilo. 101 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:26,250 You should go first, and she'll come to the back then, OK? OK. You're leading. I 102 00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:27,770 don't know if that's the best of the plan. 103 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:28,970 OK. 104 00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:30,910 I'd rather not be out on my own. OK. 105 00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:32,150 Are you OK? 106 00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:33,230 Yep. OK. 107 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:34,610 Roshan, right behind you. 108 00:06:34,970 --> 00:06:36,550 OK, careful, Sarah, careful, careful. 109 00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:40,610 I've got a question for you. Imagine if we drove cars, Roshan. 110 00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:41,930 How dangerous. 111 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:46,640 The roads would be. I'm backing up. OK. It's one of the dirtiest waterways in 112 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:50,680 the world. So the jeopardy of falling in is more than it's ever been. 113 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:55,120 Time to get out of this canal and onto the bus. If we can. 114 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,180 There's a big boat coming. 115 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,820 OK, you should be... We've got right of way because we're basically pedestrians. 116 00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:04,460 You should go left. Left? This way? 117 00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:05,660 Left. 118 00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:08,000 Left? Go left. I have to let the boat pass? 119 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,100 Yeah. I'm making a TV programme. 120 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:11,940 It should wait for me. 121 00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:13,900 I don't think it's that relaxing. 122 00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:15,340 Do you not feel relaxed? 123 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,540 No, and there's a canoe coming towards me as well. I've got a boat and a canoe. 124 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,720 We're just drifting. We're just drifting embarrassingly. There's another boat. 125 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:24,800 There's loads of boats. 126 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:29,500 Oh, no, now we're getting stopped. No, we shouldn't be going down here, but I'm 127 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:32,820 going to have to back out. Oh, Roisin, right, I'm backing out. I'm backing out. 128 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,080 Of course it's not safe. Don't crash into the back of me. And this boat is 129 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,080 to hit us. 130 00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:38,990 I don't know my left from right. Can you tell him I don't know my left from 131 00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:40,850 right? All of a sudden, it was rush hour. 132 00:07:41,150 --> 00:07:43,790 You are about to hit a canoe. You're going to hit a canoe. You're going to 133 00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:44,990 canoe. I can't avoid you, canoe. 134 00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:47,470 Hellish. Hellish. 135 00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:49,030 It's hellish. 136 00:07:49,650 --> 00:07:52,570 I think the key is to go fast and make people avoid up. 137 00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:54,770 I'm happy here. 138 00:07:55,730 --> 00:07:57,110 Roach, I'm on the open water. 139 00:07:57,530 --> 00:07:58,129 Catch me up. 140 00:07:58,130 --> 00:07:59,130 There's a canoe. 141 00:08:00,070 --> 00:08:01,290 Can someone help me? 142 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:03,230 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 143 00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:05,170 There's a canoe and a boat. 144 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,340 I can't even see you, Roisin. 145 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:11,160 I'm coming back for you. I'm turning as fast as I can. 146 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,760 There's a fast boat coming. 147 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,440 I'm turning as fast as I can. 148 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,200 Sarah, this is the worst. 149 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,420 Maybe this way's better. 150 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,840 Is this way better? Go back and right. 151 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,540 Right. I don't know my right from left. 152 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,640 I can't see anything. There's another bloody ship coming. 153 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,799 But what are the rules of the water? 154 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:37,339 No problem. 155 00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:40,500 Sarah, at least you've got some action. I've been parked up for most of it. Come 156 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:43,860 on, join the fun. It's just dodging boats. I keep trying to and I keep 157 00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:46,100 bullied back in. Careful, you're going to push me. 158 00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:49,180 We did struggle to command the water. Have you ever tried to drive an ironing 159 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:50,180 board? 160 00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:51,220 I'm coming, Sarah. 161 00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:52,540 Come. 162 00:08:54,140 --> 00:08:55,140 Okay. Where is Jane? 163 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,620 Where is Jane? 164 00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,040 Where's my friend? 165 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:02,620 It's like a... 166 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,740 It's like SoulCycle with Jeopardy. 167 00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:09,620 Ma 'am, you should do it back. 168 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,040 Do it back. 169 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,160 You again. 170 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,240 You're very bossy. 171 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:18,440 Me and Ebo, our guide, fell out right from the beginning, really. Called me 172 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,200 Madam. Madam's my mother. 173 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,240 And, yeah, just telling me right, left, backwards, forwards. 174 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,840 I don't respond well to alpha males. 175 00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:30,260 I'm a woman in a man's world. I make up my own mind. 176 00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:33,300 Right, this is it. The open water, Roisin. 177 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,360 This is why we came on holiday. 178 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,080 Oh, my God. 179 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,880 Crochet, it's the thing! 180 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,940 Finally, we've made it to the Bosphorus. 181 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,300 You get down the end and it's really beautiful. 182 00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:50,180 It is. You get to the main waterway and it's open water and you're on an iron 183 00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:54,160 port. And you feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway. You're like, I shouldn't be 184 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,160 allowed out here. 185 00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:03,960 The time has come to ironing board our way to some Byzantine history. 186 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,740 So there was a moment where it did get really good. 187 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:12,180 I got to the end of the waterway. I could see the expanse of the rippling 188 00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:13,180 ocean. 189 00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:19,300 It's about to get amazing. 190 00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:22,839 Turn it back. 191 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:26,680 My time was up. I had to turn around and come back. Same time back. What do you 192 00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:27,680 want us to do? 193 00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:30,070 Okay, so we've mainly had a tour of the canal. 194 00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:35,410 We haven't made it to the UNESCO World Heritage Site, but we have seen a lot of 195 00:10:35,410 --> 00:10:36,530 angry canoeists. 196 00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:39,550 And there's the trip back down the canal to enjoy. 197 00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:42,630 She's shutting the locals up. 198 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,590 He's got the broom out for me. 199 00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:50,510 He's going to shoo me away. 200 00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:52,630 Thank you. 201 00:10:55,330 --> 00:10:56,330 Thank you. 202 00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:59,030 Here I am, getting the brush off, as per. 203 00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:01,490 Thank you so much. Thank you. 204 00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:06,910 I think if it had been very relaxing, it might not have been as memorable. 205 00:11:07,610 --> 00:11:11,450 Yeah, she leapt off that boat like a baby deer. 206 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:13,690 Oh, my God, I've got survivor's euphoria. 207 00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:15,890 Sorry about my attitude. No problem. 208 00:11:16,150 --> 00:11:19,470 Oh, you got off nice and graceful. I crawled off. He hates me. 209 00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:21,850 I've made a really powerful enemy on the water. 210 00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,530 My legs are all shaky like a spin claw. 211 00:11:24,830 --> 00:11:25,890 Well, we've worked hard. 212 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,460 A long, long time on the river. 213 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:34,400 I thought that was all the things. It was chaotic, terrifying and brilliant. 214 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:39,040 I was like, this is so boring, this waterway. It's full of other canoeists 215 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,180 other boats. Oh, my God, why would anyone do this? 216 00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:43,960 And then right at the end, I was like, oh, my God, it's amazing. 217 00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:55,740 We're in Istanbul, exploring the European side of the city. 218 00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:58,390 And we're starting with an ancient Turkish tradition. 219 00:11:59,170 --> 00:12:02,030 Every country I've ever been to, I go for a fortune teller. 220 00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:04,050 Looking for a new story, you know? 221 00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:07,770 Do you find that they all say the same thing? Pretty much. You're like, I'll 222 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:08,770 again. I'm going to stumble. 223 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:10,830 Here we go. 224 00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:12,190 Cheers. 225 00:12:13,090 --> 00:12:14,970 Cheers. Do you like Turkish coffee? 226 00:12:15,210 --> 00:12:17,170 Oh, boy, oh, boy, do I. Why is yours bigger? 227 00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:22,720 Maybe they like me more. I don't know. This is not a good start. 228 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:26,000 This is an absolutely shocking start to the trip. 229 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,320 So gritty. 230 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:30,540 Look at my teeth. 231 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,800 Look at my teeth. 232 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:33,920 That's my future. 233 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,100 I've drunk my future. 234 00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:38,200 Oh, you're going to meet a lovely guy. 235 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,220 And he's going to say, you've got something on your teeth. 236 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:48,100 Coffee reading is the ancient Turkish art of telling people's fortunes by 237 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,220 looking at the sludge in the bottom of a coffee cup. 238 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,240 Remember, people didn't have the internet for ages. 239 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,280 Hello. Hello. 240 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,140 Lovely to meet you. I'm Roisin. 241 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,440 This is Sarah. Gamze. Gamze. This is Sarah. 242 00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:10,060 Sarah. Local psychic Gamze gets straight down to business. 243 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:38,200 I've gone to fortune tellers all over the world and normally they sort of show 244 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,200 little bit of interest. 245 00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:50,660 I know. 246 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,460 She didn't try and guess one single thing. She said, if I were sister, and 247 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,460 was it. 248 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:01,640 Will I ever go to the Nashville Country Music Awards? 249 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,120 What happened? 250 00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:10,280 Is that your dream? As a guest or a performer. 251 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,460 Okay. You should learn to play the guitar. 252 00:14:14,860 --> 00:14:16,140 Can I get it? Get that hat. 253 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:20,280 She had a nice demeanor, but 50 euros, she's out of her mind. 254 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,900 Fortune teller or superfan? She basically fell in love with me. 255 00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:42,620 Wow. 256 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,160 Oh, my dear. It must be nice. 257 00:14:45,380 --> 00:14:46,900 It's everything for a lovely time. 258 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,040 An absolute lovely time. 259 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,020 Seriously, why is a sludge so much better than my sludge? 260 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,960 We're looking for adventure in Istanbul. 261 00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:55,340 What should we do? 262 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:04,880 A magic tree that grants wishes. 263 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:06,940 Onto the itinerary it goes. 264 00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:09,160 Seems like we're all really busying up. 265 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,580 You need a receptionist. I know. 266 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,640 She might be a receptionist. 267 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,060 She's giving them my reading. 268 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,980 My woman area. 269 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:26,320 Be specific. 270 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,720 Well, I'm guessing the poor reviews are for the... 271 00:15:34,030 --> 00:15:35,410 Constant phone calls. 272 00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:41,630 Messages, WhatsApp, actual calls. 273 00:15:43,570 --> 00:15:46,350 And she's answering halfway through a sentence. 274 00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:49,770 And it could be quite important, like, you've got a huge problem with your 275 00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:50,770 health. Hello? 276 00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:58,970 You were saying I had really good energy? 277 00:16:02,119 --> 00:16:03,680 Sorry. Sorry. 278 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,420 Come on. This is quite personal. Come on. 279 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:11,600 Right. We know we're not wanted, so we've left Gamsi to it and we're taking 280 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,540 women's parts off on a tour of the worst -reviewed spots on the European side of 281 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:16,540 the city. 282 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,920 Have the review sites done them wrong? 283 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:28,360 Well, the internet says that one of the things that tourists do... Yeah? 284 00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:29,580 ..in Istanbul... 285 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:36,180 Is you go to, like, a traditional Turkish barber's. Which is like a male 286 00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:37,640 beautician. Yes. 287 00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,200 So, hairy men. Hairy men. 288 00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:41,420 And we are? 289 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:42,520 Delicate ladies. 290 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:44,720 After you, my lady. 291 00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:45,819 Thank you, my love. 292 00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:46,820 Hello. Hello. 293 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:48,980 How are you doing? I'm Roshin. 294 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,380 This is Sarah. 295 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:51,599 This is Sarah. 296 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,260 Hello. So, this is a traditional Turkish barber? 297 00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:55,460 Yeah. Okay. 298 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,680 I instantly saw the barber and wanted to run away. 299 00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:00,510 The chairs were sellotape together. 300 00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:02,870 I don't know how hygienic it was either. 301 00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:05,609 I've never been in a barber's before. Yeah. Have you? 302 00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:06,950 Yeah. 303 00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:08,050 What? 304 00:17:08,530 --> 00:17:10,130 Why do you look at me and say what? 305 00:17:11,369 --> 00:17:14,990 Oh, you have to pretend we don't need anything done. 306 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:18,990 This is like a broken chair, a man with a towel sort of going to me, you need 307 00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:19,990 your whole face done. 308 00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:22,930 Got to make out, like, what could you ladies even be here for? But he's like, 309 00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:24,270 what? What? 310 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,089 I'm going to get my nose done. No, it's not. Yeah, what? 311 00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:28,709 I'm going to get it done. 312 00:17:28,710 --> 00:17:30,690 Are you? Yeah, I think I've got a few stragglers. 313 00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:34,650 Okay. There was no... Just no lubing me up. Straight in. 314 00:17:34,890 --> 00:17:37,070 There's no, like, relaxing music playing? 315 00:17:37,350 --> 00:17:38,430 No, it's business. 316 00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:41,750 Magazines? Would you like some tea, madam? 317 00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:43,770 I quite like it. Thank you. Do you? 318 00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:45,750 More business -like. Oh, okay. Okay. 319 00:17:46,470 --> 00:17:47,470 Oh, nice. 320 00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:50,790 Should we have a safe word, though? Works. 321 00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,060 Not my lips. No, my lips. 322 00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:55,480 This is not ideal. 323 00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:58,020 I get laser treatment, thank you very much. 324 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,860 I just get a treatment, if that's what we're calling what just happened to me. 325 00:18:01,140 --> 00:18:04,600 So he's got like a little globule on a cotton bud and he's blowing it. This 326 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,600 feels like a really bad choice. 327 00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:07,000 You're very brave. 328 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,280 Don't break my little nose. 329 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,680 Oh, my God. She does have a very small nose, but much smaller than not only 330 00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,040 but also normal -sized women. 331 00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:15,900 What have I agreed to? I'm on holiday. 332 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,480 No, 333 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:18,920 nothing else. Nothing else. 334 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,160 It's not great for the confidence. Oh, I can't watch this now. I can't watch. 335 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,940 Oh, I hope you're okay. Do you need me to hold your hand? Oh, it's really sore. 336 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,100 Wow. It's really sore. Really? 337 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,640 Oh, my God, amazing. 338 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:34,540 I think it made my nose bigger. Wow. You're not getting wined and dined. 339 00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:37,760 getting the hairs ripped out of your face publicly. 340 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,840 Dogs sort of looking in the window. 341 00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:42,380 No, 342 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,240 I'm all, I'm good. You'll never see me again. Thank you very much. 343 00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:46,960 That's not how I want to get waxed. 344 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,720 Absolutely not. 345 00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:51,300 By someone just dipping, shoving it everywhere. 346 00:18:51,540 --> 00:18:52,540 That's no. 347 00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:53,820 Well, you'll go. 348 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,620 I'm OK, thank you. OK, see you later. 349 00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:00,680 The chairs are set to tape together. 350 00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,540 So this is because your fortune teller told you you're lucky. 351 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:07,100 I'm very lucky that you went first because I don't want to do it. Sarah 352 00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:09,020 me and said, absolutely no way. 353 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,500 I can't, I can't, Rose. 354 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,260 It's bleeding, just that one. 355 00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:13,460 Thank you. 356 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,180 Thank you. 357 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:15,779 Bye -bye. 358 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:16,780 Unbelievable. 359 00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:19,230 It turns out I love my hairy nose. Come on. 360 00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:27,610 It's lunchtime, and how better to show off my beautiful new nostrils than with 361 00:19:27,610 --> 00:19:32,210 trip to Sir Dancy Mehmet, a famous food spot that has definitely got tongues 362 00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:33,390 wagging on the review site. 363 00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:37,270 A lot of these are one stars. People wishing they'd never gone. 364 00:19:37,490 --> 00:19:39,510 You know, really regretting their experience. 365 00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:42,250 Definitely do not try it. There's another one -star review. 366 00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:44,310 You're not the boss of me. I'm trying it. 367 00:19:44,940 --> 00:19:48,200 Pretty busy, isn't it? Smoky. It's like stars in their eyes. 368 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:54,060 Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be disgusted by the food. 369 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,140 First up, the appetisers. 370 00:19:57,420 --> 00:19:58,420 Come on. 371 00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,080 Thank you very much. 372 00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:07,440 So this is a drink of yoghurt and milk and salt. 373 00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:09,340 Mmm. 374 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:15,520 It's yoghurt with salt. 375 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,120 It's sort of delicious. 376 00:20:18,380 --> 00:20:19,960 Is it? But also mad. 377 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,380 Absolutely bonkers. 378 00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:23,239 Mad, yeah. 379 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,040 Little did I know, this was only starter level mad. 380 00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:28,220 I think it's raw meatballs. 381 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,600 It can't be raw. 382 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,040 I can't. Raw meatballs. 383 00:20:32,820 --> 00:20:34,400 OK, I'm not eating raw meatballs. 384 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:35,619 You've got meatballs. 385 00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:37,760 And then you say, what if we don't cook them? 386 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:38,960 Not more. 387 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:40,550 No, no, no, we're good. 388 00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:44,430 They've misinterpreted you saying raw meatballs bring more... There's some 389 00:20:44,430 --> 00:20:47,930 absolute meals going around this restaurant. I just saw sausages that are 390 00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:48,990 20 long fingers. 391 00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:49,989 They're awful. 392 00:20:49,990 --> 00:20:50,709 It's awful. 393 00:20:50,710 --> 00:20:51,710 It's not sausages. 394 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:52,750 It's all innards. 395 00:20:53,030 --> 00:20:54,030 Oh. 396 00:20:55,010 --> 00:20:56,010 Yeah. 397 00:20:57,270 --> 00:21:00,450 It's really good. And he does look a lot of fun, this guy. He's very fine with 398 00:21:00,450 --> 00:21:02,330 stuff. What's that? What's happening? What's happening? 399 00:21:02,610 --> 00:21:05,610 No, no, no. Then there was another mystery -looking yoghurt. 400 00:21:06,010 --> 00:21:07,770 I thought, well, this is more yoghurt, wasn't it? 401 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,940 Not yoghurt. Not yoghurt? 402 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:11,520 What? Not yoghurt. 403 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:13,880 What's happened? 404 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:14,940 Meat. Meat happened. 405 00:21:15,180 --> 00:21:16,960 Meat in a white sauce? 406 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:23,940 I just wasn't expecting it. White liquid meat? It was yoghurt texture with 407 00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:26,060 stew flavour. 408 00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:29,920 And my brain said, sexy. 409 00:21:30,340 --> 00:21:31,780 That bread's very lovely. 410 00:21:32,430 --> 00:21:34,890 This is lovely, really, really tasty. 411 00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:39,170 Onions and tomatoes. Now they're all, like, undisguised. I feel like this 412 00:21:39,170 --> 00:21:40,049 be cereal. 413 00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:41,810 Oh, yeah, like that show, like, Is It Cake? 414 00:21:42,750 --> 00:21:44,550 Is It Yoghurt? 415 00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:45,830 Yeah, 416 00:21:46,630 --> 00:21:48,870 game shows don't make the best dining experiences. 417 00:21:49,550 --> 00:21:53,270 We beat a hasty retreat before any more mystery foods came out. 418 00:21:53,590 --> 00:21:58,010 And luckily, I've got the perfect non -growth pampering session lined up. 419 00:21:58,490 --> 00:21:59,490 Leaks is... 420 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,380 It's something that you can't get in very many places in the world. 421 00:22:02,740 --> 00:22:08,060 Turkey might be known for its medical services, but these little guys are less 422 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,060 popular. 423 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:11,840 Ding, ding, ding. 424 00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:12,980 Is there a bell or something? 425 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,240 Oh, sorry. 426 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,440 Hello. 427 00:22:17,780 --> 00:22:24,420 So we entered the clinic full of hope and interest, actually. 428 00:22:24,580 --> 00:22:28,680 You hear a lot about proper medicine. You don't hear a lot about bloodletting 429 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,680 anymore. 430 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:48,960 I decided there and then I will never say the word leech again. 431 00:22:49,540 --> 00:22:51,600 Unfortunately, it was time to get leeched. 432 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,080 So I thought about it. 433 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:57,260 It felt really great, actually, because I knew I wasn't going to get the 434 00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:58,260 leeches. 435 00:23:02,219 --> 00:23:04,500 She wishes. 436 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:10,940 Oh, 437 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,560 are you a doctor? 438 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,400 I don't know that he is a real doctor. 439 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:24,000 He could just be a man. He popped out of nowhere. 440 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,600 He said, leech a few times. 441 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:32,320 Fortune teller told me that in a few months' time, I'm going to have problems 442 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:33,540 with my woman's areas. 443 00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:36,180 So it would be great if it would be prepped. 444 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:37,960 Great. 445 00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:45,660 Istanbul is actually a hotspot for leech therapy. The practice boomed during the 446 00:23:45,660 --> 00:23:50,400 so -called leech craze in the 19th century and is relatively common to this 447 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:54,860 Leeches are said to improve blood flow and are used to treat everything from 448 00:23:54,860 --> 00:24:00,240 cardiovascular diseases to, if you're brave enough, hemorrhoids. Good God. 449 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:02,880 It's going to be a leech in a second. 450 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:09,020 Because I'm a vegan and I don't eat animals, I do feel this is a bit like 451 00:24:09,450 --> 00:24:12,210 Giving them something back. You take my blood for a change. 452 00:24:12,510 --> 00:24:13,810 Yeah, stick another one on. 453 00:24:14,090 --> 00:24:15,670 Oh, God, this one looks more aggressive. 454 00:24:17,430 --> 00:24:20,430 I don't know if it's worth to watch it happening. That one's just getting 455 00:24:20,430 --> 00:24:24,410 bigger. It was supposed to be. They're feeding on me, Roche. They're going to 456 00:24:24,410 --> 00:24:26,550 the size of a garden slug by the end, hopefully. 457 00:24:26,850 --> 00:24:28,830 I don't think they are feeding on you. You think they're turning their nose up 458 00:24:28,830 --> 00:24:30,810 because they don't eat any protein? 459 00:24:31,310 --> 00:24:33,990 I think there's not enough of it. They're just mating. 460 00:24:34,550 --> 00:24:36,670 I found the leech is on. 461 00:24:36,930 --> 00:24:38,470 They look like they were mating on her. 462 00:24:39,050 --> 00:24:41,610 So it's kind of, I'll be honest, erotic. 463 00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:46,270 I can feel teeth in my skin. There's definitely something happening. 464 00:24:46,650 --> 00:24:49,930 Oh, now he's in. Now he's in. It's a very strange sensation. 465 00:24:50,150 --> 00:24:51,390 Because it's not not a sensation. 466 00:24:51,610 --> 00:24:54,970 You can feel something. So you can feel little prickles. And then I think it's 467 00:24:54,970 --> 00:24:55,970 like a massive mosquito. 468 00:24:56,010 --> 00:24:57,430 There's a free one. There's one more. 469 00:24:58,070 --> 00:24:59,250 There's a loose leech. 470 00:24:59,530 --> 00:25:01,230 Loose leech. There's two loose leeches. 471 00:25:01,550 --> 00:25:03,170 What's this guy doing in this place? 472 00:25:03,590 --> 00:25:04,590 Just a couple got away. 473 00:25:04,810 --> 00:25:06,790 And I thought, this is exciting stuff. 474 00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:08,250 I haven't seen it. 475 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,720 Let me up people's legs. Guys, watch out for leeches. 476 00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:18,080 All those certificates, you're not keeping an eye on them, are you? 477 00:25:18,860 --> 00:25:22,460 My review of this clinic is two leeches out of five. 478 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:29,380 It's our third day in Istanbul, and back at Transplant Towers, we've managed to 479 00:25:29,380 --> 00:25:30,380 make a friend. 480 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:34,180 So we're staying in a hotel where you can't swing a cat without hitting a guy 481 00:25:34,180 --> 00:25:35,580 who's had a hair transplant. 482 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,800 So today, we've ensnared one, Chris, and we're going to follow him and, you 483 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,560 know, watch him have it done. 484 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,160 I'm heading over to Vera Clinic today to get my consultation for my second hair 485 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:46,700 transplant. Oh, really? You're American? 486 00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:49,560 Yes, I'm from the USA. I flew out of Boston just yesterday. 487 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:50,840 You came all the way to Turkey. 488 00:25:50,940 --> 00:25:51,940 I did, I did. 489 00:25:52,060 --> 00:25:53,060 I'm super excited. 490 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,160 Do you mind if we come? 491 00:25:54,300 --> 00:25:55,300 Let's do it. 492 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,920 Why did you come to Turkey for a hair transplant? 493 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,500 In the States, it's extremely expensive to get a hair transplant. How much? 494 00:26:01,740 --> 00:26:06,200 Around 20 to 30K for this operation, and in Turkey, it's around 5K. 495 00:26:06,460 --> 00:26:11,060 Wow. Yeah, and it's the exact same operation. It takes about eight hours 496 00:26:11,060 --> 00:26:11,739 whole operation. 497 00:26:11,740 --> 00:26:14,220 You're awake the whole time. What do you do for eight hours? 498 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,300 They have a TV playing with some stuff, but usually it's... you know, in a 499 00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:19,300 different language, to be honest. 500 00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:23,080 It makes you watch Turkish films for eight hours. Yeah, a little bit. It 501 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:27,100 me sad that some people really want hair and I've got so much that I don't want. 502 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:28,980 The world's not fair. 503 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,680 That's what I said. I said that to everybody. I'm like, I got hair 504 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:32,680 where I don't want hair. 505 00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:36,400 But I didn't have any on my head. 506 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:41,080 Chris has shared his hair regrowth journey on his TikTok account, which has 507 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,120 of thousands of followers. 508 00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:43,199 Go on, Chris. 509 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,580 And this is his second hair transplant. 510 00:26:46,220 --> 00:26:48,020 Very brave, considering what the procedure involves. 511 00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:52,660 A surgeon individually extracting thousands of follicles from the lower 512 00:26:52,660 --> 00:26:55,100 and then implanting them in the required area. 513 00:26:55,420 --> 00:26:57,760 Like a French exchange, only permanent. 514 00:26:58,300 --> 00:27:00,800 But what is it actually like in one of these places? 515 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,940 Oh, swanky. 516 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:08,380 It's a bit like being at the vet, you know, when all the animals are in their 517 00:27:08,380 --> 00:27:11,020 cones. There are a lot of very sore heads. 518 00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:13,690 You brought a friend, didn't you? I did, yes. 519 00:27:13,890 --> 00:27:16,430 So it is like a proper holiday because you've got a friend with you. Exactly, 520 00:27:16,450 --> 00:27:19,550 exactly, because we get to have a good time and go to some tourist attractions 521 00:27:19,550 --> 00:27:22,770 like we did yesterday. We went to the, I believe it's called the Sofia or 522 00:27:22,770 --> 00:27:23,870 something like that. Oh, yes, Sofia. 523 00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:28,890 Yeah, yeah, and we went to a nice restaurant, had dinner outside. It was 524 00:27:28,890 --> 00:27:31,650 awesome. I guess I'm getting a bit of a taste of what it's like for people to 525 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:36,110 come here because it's partly a holiday, 20%, 80 % medical procedure. 526 00:27:36,570 --> 00:27:39,730 Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too, if you're ready. So I'll take you to 527 00:27:39,730 --> 00:27:41,170 that beautiful place, for example. 528 00:27:41,710 --> 00:27:45,130 Good luck, Chris. Thank you, guys. I appreciate it. I'll see you guys soon, 529 00:27:45,130 --> 00:27:46,130 right? See you in a bit. 530 00:27:46,810 --> 00:27:51,390 And while Chris gets ready, we've got just enough time to check out the 531 00:27:51,390 --> 00:27:52,450 cabaret area. 532 00:27:54,030 --> 00:27:56,690 Sarah, there's a piano to let you know you're on holiday. 533 00:27:57,290 --> 00:27:58,290 Come on. 534 00:28:00,110 --> 00:28:01,110 Join me. 535 00:28:01,670 --> 00:28:04,190 Join me at the table. I'm going to stand here. Are you going to sing? 536 00:28:04,990 --> 00:28:06,950 Do you know I need a hair -o? 537 00:28:09,630 --> 00:28:11,370 Getting your hair... 538 00:28:12,699 --> 00:28:15,280 I learned I had real music abilities to soothe. 539 00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:19,500 It's beautiful. 540 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,880 I felt all of their tension leave their body when they heard my tune. 541 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:43,640 A lot of men have just stopped crying. 542 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,700 Not only is there a piano, we found a nice coffee bar in this clinic. 543 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:48,960 We are on holiday. 544 00:28:49,340 --> 00:28:50,340 Hello. How are you doing? 545 00:28:50,460 --> 00:28:52,360 We've got some iced coffee. Oh, there you go. 546 00:28:52,900 --> 00:28:55,500 A little juice for the day, right? We can play you some music. 547 00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:57,300 Oh, okay. On the piano. 548 00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:58,600 Oh, you did? 549 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,800 So now they're about to take some blood from me, and I'm going to be getting the 550 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,000 stem cell treatment. Here, have your blood taken now. Don't let us stop you. 551 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,180 We're just here on holiday watching. 552 00:29:11,389 --> 00:29:14,190 Before they start doing the hair transplant, you have to be completely 553 00:29:14,390 --> 00:29:15,730 It's like backwards to go forwards. 554 00:29:15,970 --> 00:29:19,330 Never done it before, Chris. You can do my legs afterwards. 555 00:29:20,170 --> 00:29:22,670 You're lucky this isn't a Turkish barber, they'll be straight up your 556 00:29:23,310 --> 00:29:25,310 We shaved him because it needed to be done. 557 00:29:25,710 --> 00:29:27,010 I'm breaking ground. 558 00:29:28,210 --> 00:29:30,690 I'm coming in, Chris. I'd go on holiday just to do this. 559 00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:33,430 To shave the heads of strangers. 560 00:29:33,970 --> 00:29:35,030 Book me up. 561 00:29:35,550 --> 00:29:37,950 It's a bit like a petting zoo, but you get to shave a man. 562 00:29:38,750 --> 00:29:42,190 It's very stress -relieving, shaving a human being. I had no idea. 563 00:29:42,450 --> 00:29:46,390 I now think there should be sort of like sanctuaries for busy businesswomen like 564 00:29:46,390 --> 00:29:50,930 myself. Get given a razor and a kid, you know, just a student. He can't afford a 565 00:29:50,930 --> 00:29:54,710 hairdresser. I need to unwind. This is get me on Dragon's Den. 566 00:29:55,070 --> 00:29:59,530 And does it feel emotional seeing yourself like this? It definitely is a 567 00:29:59,530 --> 00:30:00,530 feeling. 568 00:30:04,639 --> 00:30:05,639 Does it feel emotional? 569 00:30:06,140 --> 00:30:09,500 Does it feel emotional? Let me just blow the rest out. Are you having any sort 570 00:30:09,500 --> 00:30:16,020 of existential... The time has come to leave Chris to his hairy destiny, an 571 00:30:16,020 --> 00:30:17,740 eight hours of Turkish telly. 572 00:30:18,140 --> 00:30:19,560 Oh, this is where we leave you. 573 00:30:20,020 --> 00:30:20,939 It's go time. 574 00:30:20,940 --> 00:30:23,520 It's now time for the operation. Nice to meet you guys, seriously. 575 00:30:23,900 --> 00:30:27,060 Good luck with the stem cell. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. It was 576 00:30:27,060 --> 00:30:29,400 lovely to meet you. Thank you for the haircut. I feel very fresh. 577 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,000 It's life -changing if you're a 22 -year -old. 578 00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:36,770 and you're really depressed and feeling sad about going bald, it seems like it's 579 00:30:36,770 --> 00:30:39,970 a proper establishment. It's not like he's going to wake up and he's got like 580 00:30:39,970 --> 00:30:43,570 wig stapled on or like tufts of hair or a tail or something, you know, which I'm 581 00:30:43,570 --> 00:30:46,850 sure some places won't be reputable. 582 00:30:47,450 --> 00:30:51,450 And no doubt, Chris's transplant will be a complete success thanks to our expert 583 00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:53,710 shaving. It's like painting and decorating. 584 00:30:54,170 --> 00:30:55,770 90 % of it's in the prep. 585 00:31:02,190 --> 00:31:06,590 And as a reward for our hard work, we're off for a treatment that's a bit more 586 00:31:06,590 --> 00:31:08,570 our speed, a Turkish classic. 587 00:31:09,130 --> 00:31:10,290 Where are we going, Sarah? 588 00:31:10,890 --> 00:31:14,510 Traditional Turkish hamam, which is like, I think like a day spa. 589 00:31:15,030 --> 00:31:17,070 Okay. But it's the kind of thing people do in Turkey. 590 00:31:18,390 --> 00:31:21,130 And people love this kind of stuff, don't they? So it must be really 591 00:31:32,470 --> 00:31:34,090 Two massages, please. 592 00:31:35,970 --> 00:31:39,670 20 euros is very cheap. 593 00:31:39,990 --> 00:31:43,110 That's the thing, isn't it, with cheap? There's good cheap and there's 594 00:31:43,110 --> 00:31:44,730 dangerously cheap. It's still dangerous. 595 00:31:47,730 --> 00:31:50,890 This is what I imagine a really nice women's prison would look like. 596 00:32:07,139 --> 00:32:13,720 I think it evolved because there was 597 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,480 one slab, and so we did Sarah. 598 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:20,620 I thought about a cuck chair to watch my friend get lathered up. 599 00:32:20,940 --> 00:32:23,520 There's no way to watch this and not look like a pervert. 600 00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:26,580 Well, Roisin's role in the spa as a watcher... 601 00:32:26,890 --> 00:32:28,410 I think unnerved us all. 602 00:32:28,810 --> 00:32:29,810 Do you like watching? 603 00:32:29,970 --> 00:32:31,590 You rub her down. What's happening? 604 00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:34,990 It's more the unknown. 605 00:32:36,190 --> 00:32:37,430 Oh, it's a lot of suds. 606 00:32:37,890 --> 00:32:40,670 That is a lot of suds straight off the bat. No messing. 607 00:32:41,030 --> 00:32:47,730 It's a lovely 608 00:32:47,730 --> 00:32:53,870 lady. Tickled me to death with the biggest sponge I've ever seen. 609 00:32:54,510 --> 00:32:56,530 And it kept slapping me like I'd done something wrong. 610 00:32:57,470 --> 00:33:01,570 Here we go. Now we're clicking on Jan. It was really fun to watch Sarah keep 611 00:33:01,570 --> 00:33:03,410 trying to close her eyes and then going like that. 612 00:33:03,730 --> 00:33:05,070 That was my favourite bit. 613 00:33:13,550 --> 00:33:14,550 What? 614 00:33:15,270 --> 00:33:18,450 Go on. 615 00:33:18,710 --> 00:33:22,990 Because I think it's funny. 616 00:33:37,030 --> 00:33:43,010 There's something about watching someone really purposely try to relax that 617 00:33:43,010 --> 00:33:46,590 brings out in me something of, like, not on my watch. 618 00:33:54,729 --> 00:33:57,210 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 619 00:33:58,130 --> 00:34:00,730 I have to get Sarah now. 620 00:34:02,050 --> 00:34:04,370 I'm so sorry. I'll do it to me. I'll do it to me. 621 00:34:04,950 --> 00:34:06,350 I'll do it to me. Forgive. 622 00:34:06,830 --> 00:34:08,889 I'll do it to me. 623 00:34:10,610 --> 00:34:14,250 She looked more confused by me chucking it over myself in my gown. 624 00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:16,610 She was like, what is happening? What game is this? 625 00:34:17,090 --> 00:34:18,989 I think that's our cue to leave. 626 00:34:22,380 --> 00:34:26,520 It's the last day of our Zero Stars experience in Istanbul, and we can deny 627 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:27,719 destiny no longer. 628 00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:32,280 Gamzee, the phone -addicted fortune teller, has told us we must visit a 629 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:33,280 mystical island. 630 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,520 So we're boarding the mystical ferry to meet our fate. 631 00:34:39,219 --> 00:34:42,719 So the island we're going to doesn't have any cars. 632 00:34:43,780 --> 00:34:48,739 So what you have is bike, but you cycle and you go to the monastery, which has 633 00:34:48,739 --> 00:34:49,739 got that witching tree. 634 00:34:50,100 --> 00:34:51,139 The fortune teller. 635 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,260 Who loves you. My friend. 636 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:54,580 Your best friend. 637 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:59,140 She foretold you would make a wish. And it's a place loads of people go to to 638 00:34:59,140 --> 00:35:00,140 make a special wish. 639 00:35:00,340 --> 00:35:03,220 Like pilgrims. Yeah. Like wish pilgrims. 640 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,200 Would you like some reviews of this boat trip? 641 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,240 Sure thing. This is one star horrible experience. 642 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:15,720 After a disappointing day on the boat, we were unexpectedly forced to attend a 643 00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:16,720 fashion show. 644 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,120 We're heading back to the bus. 645 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,220 None of us are informed about this. 646 00:35:21,630 --> 00:35:23,270 They tried to sell us leather coats. 647 00:35:23,970 --> 00:35:24,970 It's an outrage. 648 00:35:25,570 --> 00:35:27,290 I mean, that's a show. 649 00:35:27,530 --> 00:35:31,730 I hope we get made to go to a fashion show. Let's put one on with these guys. 650 00:35:33,070 --> 00:35:38,710 We've arrived at Büyükada, which in Turkish means Big Island. 651 00:35:38,930 --> 00:35:40,390 Such a poetic language. 652 00:35:56,270 --> 00:35:57,430 I'm looking out for bike. 653 00:35:57,950 --> 00:35:59,150 Wherever I can see them. 654 00:35:59,790 --> 00:36:04,710 I'm looking out for love. That man's offering you some, um, doughnut. I'll 655 00:36:04,710 --> 00:36:08,830 it. Oh, my God. I won't say no. Thank you. 656 00:36:09,830 --> 00:36:10,950 Thank you. 657 00:36:14,250 --> 00:36:16,230 I'm making a cooking programme now. 658 00:36:17,250 --> 00:36:18,450 It's really good. 659 00:36:19,670 --> 00:36:22,370 Sarah. I don't take food off strange men. 660 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,920 I'm not a strange man, I'm a friend. No, there he is. Come on, we've got bikes. 661 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:27,320 It's really good. 662 00:36:27,580 --> 00:36:28,580 What's her name? 663 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:29,640 Roisin. 664 00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:30,900 Roisin! 665 00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:35,720 Welcome to Big Island. 666 00:36:36,060 --> 00:36:39,540 Thank you. That was a very big voice for Big Island. 667 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:41,540 Hello, ladies. 668 00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:43,740 How are you, ladies? 669 00:36:44,140 --> 00:36:48,280 Oh, she's got... It's an old woman. 670 00:36:48,620 --> 00:36:49,620 It's an old woman. 671 00:36:54,220 --> 00:36:55,220 I'll eat the breast. 672 00:36:57,020 --> 00:36:58,020 I'm not getting one. 673 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,060 I don't want to be insulted in ice cream. 674 00:37:00,780 --> 00:37:01,860 I'm not insulted. 675 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:03,380 I had enough of that at the waxing studio. 676 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,400 What flavour is that blue one? 677 00:37:05,740 --> 00:37:06,740 Breast milk. 678 00:37:09,300 --> 00:37:11,980 I like these bikes because they've got flowers on the front. 679 00:37:13,100 --> 00:37:18,020 We're hiring bikes to take us to Big Island's big tourist attraction, a 680 00:37:18,020 --> 00:37:21,180 monastery where you can make a wish on a mystical wishing tree. 681 00:37:23,690 --> 00:37:25,570 That was broken. Well used, I'd say. 682 00:37:26,530 --> 00:37:27,530 Experience, right? 683 00:37:27,650 --> 00:37:31,590 We are here now. Follow the lines. You go from here to the top. OK. And come 684 00:37:31,590 --> 00:37:36,190 back. So it's a half an hour cycle, nice 20 -minute walk. Yeah. Make a wish. 685 00:37:36,750 --> 00:37:37,770 That's a nice day out. 686 00:37:38,070 --> 00:37:39,790 Sure. Oh, OK. 687 00:37:40,210 --> 00:37:42,470 Go and come back. What? OK, there and back. 688 00:37:42,670 --> 00:37:44,270 Let's pour. The wish. 689 00:37:44,510 --> 00:37:45,510 Think of your wish. 690 00:37:45,650 --> 00:37:47,950 Listen, before the ice cream, I was struggling with the idea there. 691 00:37:48,550 --> 00:37:49,550 We set off. 692 00:37:49,930 --> 00:37:53,070 Our basket full of flowers, our heart full of wishes. 693 00:37:54,870 --> 00:37:55,870 Sorry, 694 00:37:57,590 --> 00:37:59,010 I'm driving on the wrong side of the road. 695 00:37:59,470 --> 00:38:02,770 It was humbling because Pasco flew up the hill. 696 00:38:03,610 --> 00:38:06,730 This is just sort of a low -level hill and I'm already struggling. 697 00:38:07,570 --> 00:38:09,790 I don't know how much further I've got to go up. 698 00:38:16,090 --> 00:38:17,090 That's me done. 699 00:38:17,530 --> 00:38:20,310 You're sold the idea of a bike. You think, well, it must be a really nice 700 00:38:20,310 --> 00:38:21,350 bicycle route. It's not. 701 00:38:21,850 --> 00:38:22,950 Oh, it's so steep. 702 00:38:23,530 --> 00:38:24,530 There we go. 703 00:38:24,590 --> 00:38:27,490 Oh, I broke it. I'm becoming a danger. 704 00:38:27,970 --> 00:38:28,970 Oh, God. 705 00:38:30,230 --> 00:38:31,530 We should be like, one, two, three. 706 00:38:32,210 --> 00:38:34,130 Ah, what have I done to it? 707 00:38:35,790 --> 00:38:37,850 Take it and hide it in a hedge. 708 00:38:38,590 --> 00:38:41,310 Oh, no. There's only seven and a half kilometres to go. 709 00:38:42,470 --> 00:38:43,470 Oh, no. 710 00:38:47,190 --> 00:38:49,770 It's a vertical road to the monastery. 711 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,780 Vertical. This is like last of the summer wine. 712 00:38:54,980 --> 00:39:00,040 We decided to walk our piles of scrap metal up the hill. Can't you see my 713 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:01,040 are already coming true? 714 00:39:01,220 --> 00:39:02,820 It's just more hills, Sarah. 715 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:16,940 It's an insane way to travel. You're basically just bringing luggage. 716 00:39:23,180 --> 00:39:24,220 I'm going to make a wish. 717 00:39:24,420 --> 00:39:25,420 No more hills. 718 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:35,600 As the saying goes, when you're going through tough times, remember that 719 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:40,900 difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Not always. 720 00:39:41,660 --> 00:39:42,660 Oh, wow. 721 00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:48,440 This view's beautiful. Look at this side. This side is really upsetting. 722 00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,660 It's really beautiful. And then just those are bins. Oh, my God, though. 723 00:39:51,660 --> 00:39:53,080 got a mattress up here, Sarah. 724 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:58,460 OK, we've picked the secret stained mattress off our list, but where is the 725 00:39:58,460 --> 00:39:59,480 magic wishing tree? 726 00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:01,240 That little one. 727 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,980 That's the one from the picture. This one feels like the main one. 728 00:40:06,020 --> 00:40:08,620 There's lots of little ribbons and bows. 729 00:40:10,260 --> 00:40:11,260 They're not ribbons. 730 00:40:12,620 --> 00:40:14,260 These are bounty wrappers. 731 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,680 Your favourite? Have you been here before? 732 00:40:17,020 --> 00:40:18,620 But look, Sarah. They're not bounty wrappers. 733 00:40:18,900 --> 00:40:19,900 They're just junk. 734 00:40:20,580 --> 00:40:25,800 Whether it was the spirits at work or heat exhaustion, we were grateful to 735 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:27,840 reached the ancient bin bag tree. 736 00:40:28,100 --> 00:40:29,760 We made it. We did. 737 00:40:30,660 --> 00:40:32,420 We did. Thank you, God. 738 00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:36,180 So the wishing tree, the small wishing tree covered in rubbish. 739 00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,380 Amazing that we're now going to get our wishes to come true. Did you bring 740 00:40:40,380 --> 00:40:41,380 anything? 741 00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:45,680 Alas, we'd forgotten to bring our magic bin bag, so we had to make do. 742 00:40:47,020 --> 00:40:48,380 I've got a tampon. 743 00:40:49,740 --> 00:40:50,740 Tampon? Yeah. 744 00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:52,620 I've got a little bit of ribbon. 745 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:54,080 Yeah, pretty. 746 00:40:54,340 --> 00:40:56,420 This has got, like, a string, which is why I thought it would be perfect. 747 00:40:56,740 --> 00:40:59,480 Wishing, we're doing wishing. 748 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,700 Wishing on the tree. 749 00:41:04,620 --> 00:41:06,660 I feel bad about tying the tampon, and that's disrespectful. 750 00:41:06,940 --> 00:41:08,720 That's a Rutherford in me. You can't take me on holiday. 751 00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,540 Do you know what I'm wishing for? What? 752 00:41:11,070 --> 00:41:13,670 I should have got my nose waxed. I've regretted it for days. 753 00:41:13,990 --> 00:41:15,310 Yeah, I can smell a lot, actually. 754 00:41:15,630 --> 00:41:16,850 But I'm going to do my wish now. 755 00:41:17,110 --> 00:41:19,470 I'm really putting my whole spirit into it. 756 00:41:22,770 --> 00:41:26,710 Wishing, wishing, wishing on the tree. 757 00:41:27,490 --> 00:41:28,490 Thank you, tree. 758 00:41:29,430 --> 00:41:30,430 Thank you. 759 00:41:30,870 --> 00:41:33,210 Would you like to hear some of the bad reviews of this place? Bad reviews? 760 00:41:33,770 --> 00:41:34,830 What's not to like? 761 00:41:35,370 --> 00:41:39,090 It won't surprise you that a lot of them are about the hill. It is very tiring. 762 00:41:39,250 --> 00:41:40,330 Walking is like death. 763 00:41:40,779 --> 00:41:42,160 Someone's written. These are my people. 764 00:41:42,380 --> 00:41:45,260 Then with a comma and nothing else. So maybe they died halfway through the 765 00:41:45,260 --> 00:41:46,260 sentence, sadly. 766 00:41:46,780 --> 00:41:47,900 Let's see what else we've got. 767 00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,420 Don't go up the hill. Don't go up the hill. 768 00:41:50,780 --> 00:41:52,620 Don't go up the hill, everyone's saying. 769 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:53,859 Too late for us. 770 00:41:53,860 --> 00:41:55,500 Can we have a look in the monastery? 771 00:41:55,980 --> 00:41:58,260 I don't think so. We're not monks. Is that real? 772 00:41:58,700 --> 00:42:00,680 Yeah. So this is it. 773 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,760 What? 774 00:42:03,100 --> 00:42:05,940 This is the... This is it. No, no, no. 775 00:42:06,260 --> 00:42:07,260 Don't go in the monastery. 776 00:42:07,700 --> 00:42:08,720 But there's a church. 777 00:42:09,470 --> 00:42:11,010 You don't go in it. It's not for us. 778 00:42:11,650 --> 00:42:12,569 Why not? 779 00:42:12,570 --> 00:42:13,468 It's this. 780 00:42:13,470 --> 00:42:17,250 People walk up here just for this tree, Roche. Come off it. You brought me up 781 00:42:17,250 --> 00:42:20,890 here. I knew you didn't understand. You said the word monastery so many times. 782 00:42:20,970 --> 00:42:22,250 It's because it's the tree at the monastery. 783 00:42:22,830 --> 00:42:24,390 But we could have gone the tree at the road. 784 00:42:24,670 --> 00:42:26,510 The monastery's got nothing to do with the tree. 785 00:42:26,990 --> 00:42:31,890 I'm having... What do you mean? You can't go in it and light a candle, even. 786 00:42:31,890 --> 00:42:34,350 cannot invite people up to a tree. 787 00:42:34,730 --> 00:42:37,850 Sarah, get the reviews up. We've got to stop. 788 00:42:38,250 --> 00:42:39,750 I've got something to say. 789 00:42:47,170 --> 00:42:51,830 We've come to Turkey hoping to feel like new people, and I've discovered a lot 790 00:42:51,830 --> 00:42:52,830 about myself. 791 00:42:52,930 --> 00:42:58,030 I found out that I love shaving men, that canal boating is not for me, and 792 00:42:58,030 --> 00:42:59,970 I could be a sex therapist for leeches. 793 00:43:00,250 --> 00:43:03,370 I would have wished more ambitiously if I knew they were all going to become 794 00:43:03,370 --> 00:43:06,670 true. I give this bit three and a half stars out of five. 795 00:43:07,810 --> 00:43:12,690 Apart from the non -monastery, I've had a good time. I got to watch Sarah get 796 00:43:12,690 --> 00:43:16,090 slapped about and I was able to smell her fear all the better thanks to a very 797 00:43:16,090 --> 00:43:17,270 no -nonsense barber. 798 00:43:17,670 --> 00:43:19,630 It's a solid four out of five for me. 799 00:43:21,410 --> 00:43:23,510 Sarah. Yeah. Do you know what it is now? 800 00:43:23,830 --> 00:43:27,290 Yeah. Downhill. Yeah. It's all downhill from here, as they say. 801 00:43:28,190 --> 00:43:30,810 And that is pleasure.