1 00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:03,368 [Charlie] Admit it, dude. You totally cried. 2 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:05,370 [Mac] Yeah. [Dennis] I didn't cry, Charlie. 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,872 I saw tears coming out of your eyes, man. 4 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:09,986 Extreme Home Makeover will make the hardest man soft. 5 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,711 - Oh, it makes everybody cry. - Oh, that is really ridiculous. 6 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,225 Oh, is it? You're the biggest thief I've ever met in my life. 7 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:18,516 How am I a thief? Dennis, do you know that she is inheriting my house? 8 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:22,021 Of course he knows it. He's the one who lost the house by letting you into it. 9 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:24,767 And now since I'm his next of kin, the house belongs to me. 10 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,470 - [Groans] - Frank, if you want to get your house back, check it out. 11 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:30,106 Make a vision board, put your house on it... boom, you get the house back. 12 00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:32,809 - What the hell's a vision board? - Oh, it's The Secret! 13 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,478 Yeah, The Secret is a self-help book that Dee read and explained to us. 14 00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,215 It's about how you can get whatever you want without having to work for it. 15 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:41,151 All you have to do is envision all the shit in the world that you want, 16 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:44,910 cut pictures of it out and paste it on a board, then you get it, you get the stuff. 17 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:48,147 See how I got all these sweet pics of Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover? 18 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,496 I'm gonna become like him. I'm gonna have that dude's life. 19 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,728 Yeah, now that's Charlie's vision, but it's not mine. 20 00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:55,065 You see, my vision is to have a gorgeous yellow Lamborghini... 21 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,256 that I'm very much looking forward to driving. 22 00:00:57,324 --> 00:01:00,136 I'm gonna impregnate Danica Patrick while getting drunk in the Sahara desert... 23 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,427 on a dune buggy. 24 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:04,162 [Frank Cackling] 25 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:08,066 I hate to tell you this, but this self-help stuff, it's all bullshit. 26 00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:10,413 It's a big scam. Oh, is it, Frank? 27 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,415 That's funny 'cause that's how I got the house. 28 00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:15,251 See, I envisioned the courts recognizing how ridiculous it was... 29 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,887 that my son of a bitch asshole mother didn't leave me anything. 30 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,222 And then I did some good deeds, and boom... I'm rich. 31 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:23,048 - Mansion rich. - Whoa, wait a second. 32 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,662 You didn't say anything about doing good deeds. Is that a part of this? 33 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,964 You have to do that. You get back what you put in. 34 00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:31,323 Right! That makes sense. That's probably why Ty Pennington has such a sweet life. 35 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,625 Yeah, man. And he's got great hair too. 36 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,972 Of course he's got great hair! He does have great hair! 37 00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,974 You know, this has got me thinking, guys. 38 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:41,933 It could be really beneficial for us to go out and actually do some good deeds. 39 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:45,837 Wait a second. Maybe helping other people is the best way to help ourselves. 40 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:49,607 Right, right. So, like, what is the best way you can help other people? 41 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:52,945 The best way in the world to help other people. 42 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:56,447 What would Ty Pennington do? What would Ty Pennington do? 43 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,050 [Chattering] 44 00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:34,397 What the hell are you doing with my bowling ball? 45 00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,732 It's no longer a bowling ball, Frank. It's now a wrecking ball. 46 00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:40,258 We're gonna use it to tear down a house and then we're gonna build up a dream! 47 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:43,695 Yeah, baby. Then we get our Lamborghinis, and our Danica Patricks, and our... 48 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:46,832 Whatever we want. Ooh, you guys. I wanna jump in on this if that's okay. 49 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,413 I'm gonna need a butt load of money to pay the property taxes on my new mansion. 50 00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:53,338 - On my mansion. - Jesus, Frank. Really? Still? Why do you care? 51 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,785 You don't even wanna live there. That's not the point, Deandra! 52 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,743 The point is, it is my house and I should own it. 53 00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,479 Help us out, and the universe will probably give it back to you. 54 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:04,193 I don't think so, Charlie. See, I'm operating at a much higher vibration, 55 00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:06,495 which I think is gonna counteract his attempts at positive energy. 56 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,498 - I'll keep the house. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 57 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:12,490 You think that your energy's more positive than mine? Uh, yeah. 58 00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,938 I want in on this so I can screw over Deandra. 59 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,828 You know what, man? Perfect. 60 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,442 We were planning on using your construction experience and your connections anyway. 61 00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:22,000 - I'll be the foreman. - Yeah, great. Excellent. 62 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,914 Why don't you hop on the renovations with Charlie and I? 63 00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:27,138 Mac, why don't you get started on the family makeover with Dee? 64 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,419 Family makeover with Dee? No. I want to be a part of the renovation team. 65 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,488 I know you do, but the thing is, you... Yeah. 66 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,690 You get so excited about the smashing. Yeah! 67 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,926 Then you make it competitive. You turn it into a competition. 68 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,162 That's bullshit! Because I'm a better smasher than you guys! 69 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,431 I should be on the head of the smashing team! Are you kidding? 70 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,433 You want to have a smash-off? A smash-off? 71 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,735 I'll prove it to you. You can't even help yourself, can you? 72 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,271 Okay, fine. Fine. Dee and I are gonna kick your ass, okay? 73 00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:51,629 Because our makeover is gonna be so much more extreme than yours. 74 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:55,138 Oh, well, hold on a second. Charlie, our renovations are gonna be pretty extreme, right? 75 00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,247 Yeah, but not as extreme as what we're gonna do. 76 00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:00,116 Let's agree that we're gonna go about this in the most extreme way possible, okay? 77 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:03,141 First things first. Let's find a family to unleash our extremeness all over. 78 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:06,578 Yeah, yeah, yeah. A desperate family that's gonna yield us the highest return. 79 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,548 How 'bout the Mexican family that moved in down the block? Right! 80 00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:12,117 What is their name? The Juarez family, I think. 81 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,463 Oh, that's perfect. Oh, we can help the Juarez family! 82 00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:16,899 Great. Oh, they're good. Their place is a real shit hole. 83 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,035 Okay, great. Then the Juarez family it is. It's settled. 84 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:23,461 Okay, okay, okay. And I think I know the most extreme way to go about this. 85 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,476 [Charlie] Okay. Dee, you got the blindfolds, right? 86 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:31,102 Do you guys think the blindfolds are absolutely necessary? The blindfolds are necessary. 87 00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,049 They're there to heighten the sense of surprise and excitement, 88 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,051 creating an enjoyable experience for the family. Extreme! 89 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:39,678 Here's the thing. I couldn't find any blindfolds per se, but I did bring some plastic bags. 90 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:42,292 Jam them over their faces. Why didn't you say so 10 minutes ago? 91 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,716 It's time! Here we go! Here we go! 92 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,752 Go, go, go, go, go! 93 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:52,390 Good morning, Juarez family! 94 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:56,327 Wake up, my brown friend! It's time to change your life! [Screams] 95 00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:59,230 ♪♪ [Hard Rock] I said inspirational music! What is that? 96 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,679 Yeah, man. Inspirational. All right. That's cool. That's cool, I guess. 97 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,902 Come here, you little rug rat! 98 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,617 Where are you going? What's wrong, buddy? Come on. 99 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,020 We're trying to help you. Hey, where's your wife? Oh, no! 100 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:14,345 Come on! You want me to fix your house, don't you? Where's your daughter? 101 00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,514 - Where's your daughter? - [Screaming] 102 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,150 Congratulations! Have we got a surprise for you! 103 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,986 Okay! Hold still! 104 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,789 You can't run from the kindness of strangers! 105 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:28,593 We are taking over your house! Your house is ours now! 106 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,263 Your lives are gonna change forever! 107 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,132 Ah, it feels good to help people, doesn't it? 108 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:37,401 It sure does! Okay. Bag 'em. 109 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:42,473 And good-bye, Juarez family! 110 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:45,376 Yeah. All right! Good job. Good job. We did it, man. 111 00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:47,590 Frank, foreman. What's the plan? Mr. Foreman. 112 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:49,347 Ah, the plan? Yeah! 113 00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,650 You guys get to work. I'm gonna go hop in one of their beds and get some shut-eye. 114 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:55,331 - I'm running on fumes. - Oh, ho! Wait, man. There's no time for that. 115 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,289 We're on a deadline here. Now, when's your crew arriving? 116 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,304 - My crew? What crew? - The construction crew. When do those guys get here? 117 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:04,529 You're the crew! That's the way I do it. 118 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:07,098 I hire two guys and let them sweat it out. 119 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:10,268 All right. Now keep it down because I'm a very light sleeper. 120 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:13,838 ♪♪ [Speakers: "The Washington Post"] 121 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:16,274 Welcome to makeover headquarters, Juarez family! 122 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,120 This is gonna be your home for the next couple of days! 123 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:21,212 Hey, in order to assimilate you with American culture, 124 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,648 we've decided to surround you with all things American. 125 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,350 - [Mac Laughing] - Who's ready for a makeover? 126 00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:28,119 [Mac Laughs] This one is. 127 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,933 Um, not that excited. No. They're not very excited at all. 128 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:34,459 What's up? I... Okay. I think there might be a bit of a language barrier. 129 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:37,139 Well, that could be an issue. Well, no, no, no. Hold up. 130 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,431 Somebody took a couple of years of Spanish in high school. 131 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,244 Oh! Okay. You remember it? 132 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:44,146 I'm gonna dust off the cobwebs and see if I can fire off a couple phrases. 133 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,482 Tell them to relax, first off, 'cause they look a little tense. 134 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:48,818 And then, uh, we're gonna build them a new house. 135 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,208 And a new life, just like on Extreme Makeover on TV. 136 00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:55,413 Okay. Okay. Juarezes, sea fácil. 137 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,983 Su casa es no más. 138 00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,518 Su vida es no más. 139 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:03,021 Somos extremos. 140 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,889 Como la televisión. 141 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,891 ¿Sí? 142 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,961 - ¿Sí? - Uh, sí. 143 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,463 - Sí. They get it! They get it! - I still got it! 144 00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,999 ¡Somos... extremos! Yeah! ¡Extremos! 145 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:18,302 [Dee] Yeah, America! 146 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,039 [Dennis] All right. [Charlie] I tell you what, man. 147 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:24,175 The more I look at this place, the nicer I think it is. It's a nice place. 148 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,779 No, it's a very charming, charming place. Whoa! 149 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,780 What are you doing, dude? What do you mean? 150 00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,462 Why are you smashing stuff? It's important that we get rid of anything... 151 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:35,086 that will remind the Juarez family of their old country. 152 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:38,556 Bro, they're Americans now, and Americans don't hold onto the past. 153 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,104 Oh, the past isn't useful. You gotta forget about it. Not useful. 154 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,172 Okay, the past isn't... We gotta gut this entire place. 155 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:46,765 Here's what I'm thinking now. After we get done smashing all their old shit, 156 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,300 I'm thinking we take out this wall. You know what I mean? 157 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:51,414 Just let the room breathe a little bit. Okay. 158 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:54,149 And you think that's better than just, like, ripping the whole house down? 159 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,151 Yeah. Why... Tearing the whole thing down? 160 00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:58,454 Yes, dude. Were you planning on destroying the entire house? Yeah. 161 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,189 You can't demolish the entire house. 162 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,658 That's what they do on Extreme Makeover. They rip the whole house down. 163 00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,428 Do you know how to build an entire house? No. I don't know how to... 164 00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:07,162 I know! I hadn't thought that far... 165 00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:09,399 We would have to build a whole house. We'd have to build... 166 00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,467 I can't build a whole house. Let's just smash the wall. 167 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,236 We'll start with the wall. Then we'll throw a couple of layers of paint up. 168 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:17,206 And then we'll get our Lamborghinis and whatever shit you have on your vision board. 169 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:20,998 Let me see if the lamp takes a little dent out of it. And here comes the pitch! 170 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:24,001 [Cheering] But it didn't really dent the wall though. 171 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,170 But it did break the lamp, and that's part of it. 172 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,217 Well, that was fun. So I'm gonna break this. 173 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,018 What's all the racket down here? 174 00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:33,623 Hey, some of us are trying to do some work here, Frank. I don't know if you noticed. 175 00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,846 Has anybody scored on their vision board yet? 176 00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:38,761 How on earth can we score from our vision board, dude? We just started. 177 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,763 Yeah! We've been doing this for, like, 30 minutes. 178 00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:43,788 Thirty minutes? I feel like I've been sleeping for a day. 179 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,991 What? That broke bastard's bed is soft as shit. 180 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,405 You think they got any beer in the icebox? You know what, man? 181 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,474 I could drink a swimming pool. You know what, Frank? 182 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,999 You are a terrible foreman. Get... You know what? Back me up on this, Charlie. 183 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,212 You're out of here, dude. I think so. You're done. 184 00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:59,782 You can't kick the foreman out. I'm the foreman. 185 00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:01,984 I tell you what to do. That's the way it works. 186 00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,653 Oh, really? You're gonna tell me how it works? 187 00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:07,189 I watch Extreme Home Makeover. I know how it works! 188 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,713 Charlie! What? 189 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:12,516 That show is just a bunch of manipulation to get people to cry. 190 00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:15,497 And then they trick the viewers into buying shit! 191 00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:17,488 Buying shit? What are you talking about? 192 00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,569 Yes! That show is about how awesome Sears is! 193 00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:22,138 No. And how Sears products save people's lives! 194 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:25,096 It's about caring and Sears! Hey, hey. Shh. 195 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:27,732 Now, you don't see Ty Pennington lose his cool, do you? 196 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,768 You want to be like him? Yeah. 197 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,769 Then just breathe for me. Feel what I'm doing. 198 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,071 Yeah, dude. I just... I'm sorry, bro. 199 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:36,440 But I get very passionate about Sears. No, I... 200 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,878 I mean, Extreme Home Make... I mean, wha... 201 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,879 Helping people. Helping people. 202 00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:44,215 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Don't stop. 203 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,750 Give me a hug. 204 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,488 [Speaking Spanish] 205 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:05,336 Baseball. Huh? 206 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,072 Frank, what the hell are you doing here? 207 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:11,042 Those dickwads threw me off my own work site! 208 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:14,178 So how's the old vision board coming? You getting everything you want? 209 00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:20,162 We realized the reason why the Juarez family hasn't achieved the American dream yet... 210 00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,231 is because they haven't envisioned it strong enough. 211 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,789 So we're having them do their own vision boards. Ah. 212 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:27,370 Why don't you be a lamb and pass out some materials. What? 213 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,405 Go on. Be helpful! Do something positive with your life. 214 00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:32,530 Piece of shit. Magazines, magazines. 215 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,532 Here! Magazines. 216 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,867 Cut 'em out with this? What are you looking at? 217 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:39,070 Frank, she doesn't understand what you're saying. 218 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,951 You gotta say "corte." That means "cut." ¡Corte! ¡Corte! 219 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,074 [Screaming] 220 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,743 Oh, no! [Screaming] 221 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,512 I am gonna blast your face off! [Spanish] 222 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,893 I am gonna blast your face off. Shh! Shh! 223 00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:53,196 No one's gonna blast anything. No one's gonna blast your face. 224 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,586 No one's gonna do that. What did you say to her? 225 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,590 I said what you said to say to her and she stabbed me in the leg with the goddamn scissors! 226 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,893 Deal with it. Deal with this. All right. 227 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:05,997 Baje tu herramienta de corte, por favor. 228 00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,799 Um... Hombre está loco con pistola. 229 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:11,135 Loco. Very loco. Right? 230 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:14,371 Y hace peligro para todos nosotros. 231 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,241 Yeah. Okay. Careful. Watch it. 232 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:21,645 Um, um, um... No hace que hombre le lastima. 233 00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:24,074 ¿Sí? That makes sense, yeah? Sí, sí, sí. 234 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,250 Oh, God. I'm really good at this. They got it. 235 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:32,022 Dennis! Yo. Last-minute thing. 236 00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:35,059 Gotta have this. Brilliant idea. We need a project for 'em, dude. 237 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,648 Huh? So, we got ourselves a little Mexican girl here. 238 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:41,109 I'm thinking, well, what does a little Mexican girl love more than anything else in the world? 239 00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:43,467 Mmm. Tacos. Tacos, buddy! 240 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,170 So, why not make for her a taco bed? 241 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,172 You know what I mean? Okay! 242 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,986 She gets to, like, be in a taco every day. So, okay. 243 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:53,055 I got yellow sheets. That's cheese. Green, guacamole. 244 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,057 Red little pillow for salsa. 245 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:58,160 I got cute little brown p.j.'s so she gets to feel like ground meat while she's sleeping. 246 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,162 She's the ground meat in the middle. She's the ground meat! 247 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,598 I like that, man. That's a good idea. Uh-oh. 248 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:05,690 Hey, what is this, um, blowtorch for, man? 249 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:09,127 Well, that's a propane torch. That thing's badass. It's like a flamethrower. 250 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:11,173 Okay. But what function is it gonna serve? 251 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:14,042 It's for the renovation, man. It's for the controlled burns. Oh. 252 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:16,412 I don't think they do controlled burns, man. Are you kidding me? 253 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:19,115 Bro, they definitely do controlled burns on the... They do it off screen. 254 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,951 Off screen! How do you think they tear down an entire wall so quickly? 255 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,286 They burn it up. The community's got a lot to do with it. 256 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:27,089 And then maybe it's for burning the actual rubble. It's for tearing stuff down. 257 00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:29,658 Are you sure we need it? I'm not sure we... They take stuff outside... 258 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:32,283 I'm buying it, so ring that up. What are we looking at here? 259 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,952 That'll be $3,212.11. 260 00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:39,657 We're just gonna go ahead and put all this on the Extreme Home Makeover account. 261 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:42,860 Ring it up. I have no idea what you're talking about. 262 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:46,130 Really? Uh, we're performing an extreme home makeover. 263 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,510 So do you not have a button for that? Yeah, yeah. 264 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,546 We're helping out a family in need. We're gonna do some good deeds. 265 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:53,115 We got a vision board thing going. This is a legitimate operation here, okay? 266 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,618 This is the real deal. I got a whole taco bed... You know what? 267 00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:59,121 Um, if you just give us the stuff, we'll be on our way. 268 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:01,579 I'm sorry. We don't just give stuff away. 269 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:05,015 Okay. I don't know why you're breaking my balls here. 270 00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,496 Sears does this. Okay, Sears gives people stuff. 271 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,132 Sears doesn't get anything out of it! Sears doesn't come in and start... 272 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,836 Look, we don't have any money, okay? What are we supposed to do here? 273 00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:14,825 I don't know what to tell you. 274 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:17,928 If you don't have a bad credit history, you can open up a store credit card. 275 00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:20,498 Well, yeah. Credit card, huh? 276 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,867 Yeah. 277 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:26,103 All right. Just go ahead and sign right there, and we're all set. 278 00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:29,184 Now, this is smart. The first step to becoming an American, get a credit card. 279 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,554 We need this guy to build up copious amounts of debt. 280 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,490 That's the best way for him to build up his credit. We're doing him a favor here. 281 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,959 We're doing him a huge favor! And do you realize how extreme this is? 282 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,262 To go from no debt to good, old-fashioned American debt? That's the way to do it. 283 00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:44,021 Plus, I've been envisioning someone else paying for this thing the entire time. 284 00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,568 I'm also envisioning him unloading all the shit into the car. 285 00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:50,027 Well, that's a great vision. Guys, no can do. We're on a very tight schedule. 286 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:53,831 But we got him here. Does anyone know why Frank has been pointing a camera at us? 287 00:13:53,899 --> 00:13:56,712 I'll tell you why. Because I'm tired of this Secret bullshit. 288 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,017 All it got me was a stab wound in the leg. 289 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,617 So I'm gonna record everything you do. Why? 290 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,574 Because I know you're gonna fail. 291 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,855 Then I can watch it over and over again. That's ridiculous. 292 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,090 Whatever, Frank. You know, I'm glad you're getting all this on tape. 293 00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:10,826 Then we'll have proof of how amazingly generous we're being today. 294 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,328 You're gonna prove that The Secret is real. 295 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,253 We are all done here, so I'm gonna roll. All right, grab him. 296 00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,199 Thank you very much. Let's go and do this. 297 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:19,401 Most gracias... Good luck. All right. Got the store card now. 298 00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,358 Let's go ahead and ring that up. 299 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,828 [Charlie] Bro, I'm not sure I have the right look here. 300 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:27,565 No, you do, man. You just gotta start thinking of the tool belt as an extension of yourself. 301 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:30,112 It needs to reflect you as an individual. Do you feel that? 302 00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,770 Is that all that it is? That's all it is, bro. 303 00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:35,539 How come you got awesome fray on your shorts? I don't have that. 304 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:39,443 Well, ha-ha! That, sir, is because you purchased blue jean shorts, 305 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,257 whereas I purchased blue jeans and cut 'em, thus the fray. 306 00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,760 It's a more authentic look. I think that's what you're feeling. 307 00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:47,118 And then why did you cut them so high? Way higher than mine. 308 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,732 I thought you might ask that. It limits restriction of leg movement. 309 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,001 You're gonna get more work done 'cause you got more legroom. Exactly. 310 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:54,069 Are you sure about that? Let me do a little demonstration on you. 311 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,072 Take the tool belt off for a second. Yeah, yeah. 312 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,173 Let me just demonstrate something. Let's get a demo. 313 00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:00,509 Take a wide stance. Take the widest stance that you possibly can. 314 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,745 Let me see what that looks like. Okay. Leg movement. This is... 315 00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:05,615 Go wide as you can. If I'm going wide... and I'm being honest with you... 316 00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:08,939 - I'm maxing out about here. - That's not bad. 317 00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:11,341 But check this out. 318 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,978 Go. Go, go. 319 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,213 Whoa! Any more? 320 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:18,494 That's it. But that's pretty wide, right? 321 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:21,118 That is good. You know? And you're not getting any high ride. 322 00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:25,623 I'm getting a high ride, but the shorts aren't preventing me from doing what I need to do. 323 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,058 And that's the shorts. That's exactly right, man. 324 00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:30,772 See, your shorts, they're holding you back, man. That and your hips. 325 00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:33,163 But I gotta tell ya, the shorts aren't helping. 326 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:36,900 Oh, this... this is really all good shit. This is like gold. 327 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:39,014 What are you gonna do next? You are catching all this, right? 328 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,016 I got everything. This is what we're gonna do next. 329 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,085 Charlie, grab me that propane torch. I'm gonna burn the wall. 330 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,543 Let's go at it with the wrecking ball for a little while. 331 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,790 Really? It'll be more extreme, and kinda awesome. 332 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,347 Let's do that then. You do the wrecking ball thing. 333 00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:52,861 I'm gonna do a little introduction thing, then you do the wrecking ball. 334 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,630 Do you want to wear the belt? Mm-mmm. 335 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,133 I'm gonna be the only one wearing the belt? Just jeans and no shirt. 336 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,624 Wait. Can I see the stance one more time? Yeah. 337 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:06,564 - That... I can go lower. - Bro, that is badass. 338 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,270 [Dennis] All right. [Charlie] Is yours wedged in too? 339 00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,016 Mine is completely wedged in. 340 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,574 We can't even get anything past the surface of this thing. 341 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,876 There's like a hard surface past the thin surface. 342 00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,656 Concrete or brick or something behind... 343 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,681 I was envisioning this being a lot easier than it's turning out to be. 344 00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:26,551 Use the blowtorch. Great. It's time. 345 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:29,053 No. Hang on a second. Let me grab the flame. 346 00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,500 He's absolutely right. I think I know what the problem is. 347 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,524 Look, I'm the one who watches Home Makeover. 348 00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:35,638 I think I know what we're not doing right here. What? 349 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,906 We haven't brought the neighborhood in yet. Absolutely great idea. 350 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:40,932 Bring the neighbors in. Oh, my neighbors are great. 351 00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:45,870 [Whistles] Yo. Hey, come here. 352 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,221 So did the neighborhood rob us? Oh, oh! 353 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,269 Did the neighborhood rob... Yeah, Charlie. And they took my goddamn tool belt! 354 00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:10,306 I could not have anticipated... You want to talk into the camera and cry a little? 355 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,975 You invaded our face with that camera, man! You know what, man? 356 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:16,367 You know what? Just... [Sighs] Get me the flamethrower. I'm so sick of this wall. 357 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,537 I want to burn it up now! Okay, it's time. 358 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,650 Okay, there's also a fire extinguisher too. Great. 359 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,719 I think we should use this, man. I think we should too. 360 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,543 So here's how this is gonna go down. I will light a fire on the wall. 361 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,690 Charlie, have that extinguisher ready... 362 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,193 'cause I don't want the fire to spread past the parameters of this wall. 363 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,195 I will create a parameter with the fire extinguisher. 364 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,430 The only safe way to do this, okay? It'll be perfectly safe. 365 00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:37,532 Then once the wall's all weakened from the burned-up fires, 366 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,635 we're gonna kick it to pieces, smash it, take the rubble outside and burn that too. 367 00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:43,204 Burn that too. And then I'll put it out with this. Perfect. 368 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,641 And then I'll get started on my taco bed. That sounds good. 369 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:51,001 Hey, hey, before you do that, why don't you open that window there and get a nice back draft? 370 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,138 Now he wants to start helping us. 371 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:56,485 That's the first sensible thing you've said all day, Frank. 372 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:59,243 It's extreme, just like we are. Charlie, go crank open a window. 373 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,679 Let's get a back draft going. Frank, you ready? 374 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:06,383 I've never been ready for anything more in my entire life! 375 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,620 Well, all right. Let's do this. 376 00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:16,727 Well, Mac, I think we have successfully pulled off one extreme makeover. 377 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,530 Yeah. I love their eyes. 378 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,533 Now while we wait, I was thinking we expose them... 379 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,702 to some good, old-fashioned American cinema. 380 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,481 Oh. Apocalypto. 381 00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:28,851 They can learn about how their ancestors used to be savages... 382 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,315 until Mel Gibson and the Catholics came in and saved everybody. 383 00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:33,310 Oh! 384 00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,156 Oh, hey, Frank. Hey, Frank. 385 00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:39,216 You're just in time. Point that video camera at the new and improved Juarez family. 386 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:42,153 Whoa. They look freaky as shit. 387 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,500 [Mac] Wait till you get a load of their ancestors. 388 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,957 Pop a squat, bro, 'cause we're gonna watch a sweet-ass flick. 389 00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,594 Oh, no, no, no. I got something better to do. Bag 'em and bring 'em with us. 390 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,596 Come on. Yes, let's go. 391 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,666 In fact, bag yourselves, too, because I want this to be a surprise. 392 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,455 Okay. All right. 393 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:02,073 Come on. Right this way. Keep walking straight. [Dee] Frank. Goddamn it. 394 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,619 It's hard to breathe in these bags. Straight, straight, straight. 395 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,577 Okay. Hold it right here. 396 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,847 All right now... Excuse me. Please, come over here... the family. 397 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:12,795 I want you on this side. [Mac] My head is sweating like shit, Frank! 398 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,820 All right. Take the bags off. 399 00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,789 Whoa! You got... You got a bus, just like in the show! 400 00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:21,024 It's all about the reveal. Ready? 401 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:24,695 Okay, yeah. One, two, three! 402 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,431 [Together] Move that bus! 403 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:38,142 [Frank Laughing] 404 00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:46,277 [Frank] Whoo! 405 00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:50,221 Unbelievable. 406 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:55,125 I cannot believe the judge made me give my mansion to the Juarez family. 407 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,860 I can't believe their name isn't Juarez. 408 00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,140 Was anyone else surprised by that? It was a shocker. 409 00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:01,877 Yeah. You know, it's a broken system we got here. It's a broken system. 410 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,279 But at least we managed to avoid arson charges, right? Boom. 411 00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,748 That's good. Yeah. Frank, I guess you're right. The Secret's bullshit. 412 00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:10,574 Yeah. You try to help people, and you just wind up getting screwed. 413 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:47,611 [Voices Speaking Backwards]