1 00:00:01,290 --> 00:00:03,250 Grandma, why do you buy these tabloids? 2 00:00:03,730 --> 00:00:05,230 Oh, it's just for fun. 3 00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:07,110 You can't believe this stuff. 4 00:00:08,350 --> 00:00:09,350 All right. 5 00:00:09,570 --> 00:00:12,810 The Virgin of Guadalupe says the Lakers will repeat. 6 00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,970 She called it last time. 7 00:00:19,530 --> 00:00:20,990 I love this exhibit. 8 00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:24,330 Lunch lady of the past and lunch lady of the future. 9 00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:27,230 We're dyeing our hair. 10 00:00:27,450 --> 00:00:30,770 Yeah, now move it, George. I need the sun to cook the juices. 11 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,520 And your head's making an eclipse. 12 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,520 I smell barbecue and hair. You must be done. 13 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,660 What color are you dyeing your hair? 14 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,160 We're putting red streaks in it. 15 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,920 Mom, can you talk to me before you start painting my kids? 16 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:49,280 Remember when you were 13 and you shaved your head? 17 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,500 Now we're even. 18 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,460 Mom, the school made me shave my head. I had life. 19 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:56,620 You didn't have life. 20 00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:59,980 You were a thinker, so you scratched your head a lot. 21 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:02,419 Hey, Carmen. 22 00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:04,000 Oh, my God, go away. Don't look at me. 23 00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:07,620 What's up? 24 00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:10,980 I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants. 25 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,400 Put your ass away. 26 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,020 George, this is Duncan. 27 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:20,300 Hello, everybody. 28 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:21,880 What do you think? 29 00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:24,760 It looks like you fell asleep in ketchup. 30 00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:26,860 Stop. 31 00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:28,120 Carmen, it looks great. 32 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:29,700 Thanks, Mom. 33 00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:32,900 We're going to go study. Wait a second. 34 00:01:33,740 --> 00:01:36,620 Just the two of you? George, don't make a big deal. It's okay. They're just 35 00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:37,620 friends. 36 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,000 Thanks, Mom. 37 00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:40,180 Okay, let's go. 38 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,980 So, uh, what do you think of my hair? 39 00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,260 See, it looks good, baby. Oh, God, stop. 40 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,920 She'll be pregnant in a week. 41 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,420 see you're up and working again. What time do they come by and fix the 42 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,960 Ernie, you know you can't eat on the shop floor. 43 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:36,760 Is that lettuce on your chin? 44 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,360 Open your mouth. Open your mouth. 45 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:40,900 Ernie, don't make me open your mouth. 46 00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:42,780 If I can do it to a dog, I can do it to you. 47 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:44,840 I gotta eat. 48 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,640 I'm depressed. My girlfriend broke up with me. 49 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:51,200 I have this empty space inside that only ham can fill. 50 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,080 You can't keep doing this every time you get hurt, dude. 51 00:02:55,839 --> 00:02:57,540 Ham can't replace the love of a woman. 52 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,300 Only beer and golf can do that. 53 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,340 Hey, Bob's big boy, you eating again? 54 00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:07,120 Leave him alone, Mom. He's got woman trouble. 55 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,320 How can he have woman trouble? He can't get one. 56 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,840 Why do you always keep people when they're down, Mom? You know you never 57 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:16,840 anything good to say. 58 00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:18,580 You're right. 59 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,600 We should be celebrating. You're going to be a grandpa. 60 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,320 Mom, Angie and I already discussed it. They were just studying. 61 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,600 Right. Just studying. 62 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:33,800 Remember how when you were 13, you went in the bathroom to study the Sears 63 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:34,800 catalog? 64 00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:38,800 You know, Mom, one day I'm going to walk into a shrink's office with a 65 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,600 wheelbarrow full of cash and talk until he begs me to leave. 66 00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:46,260 Hey, Claudia. 67 00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,360 Hi, boss man. 68 00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:53,360 I hope this isn't too personal a question, but how old were you when you 69 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,810 dating? I was almost 14. 70 00:03:56,510 --> 00:03:58,210 Yeah. Tommy Jenkins. 71 00:03:58,770 --> 00:03:59,790 Oh, what a sweetie. 72 00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:01,950 Yeah, we would hold hands for hours. 73 00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:05,770 So it was kind of innocent. You were just hanging out? Yeah. 74 00:04:06,090 --> 00:04:07,430 Until my parents went to bed. 75 00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:12,670 We went at it like a couple of baby monkeys. 76 00:04:13,390 --> 00:04:15,950 Oh, man. 77 00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:17,589 What? 78 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,589 Well, how old were you? 79 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,250 17. 80 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,500 She told me you'll never find a woman as wonderful as your mother. 81 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,180 So I figured if that's the best I'm going to do, why look? 82 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:41,980 Hey, guys. 83 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,560 Hey, Dad. What's up, Ben? Hey, Ernie. What's up? 84 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,240 He's lonely. 85 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,760 I can't shake him. My girlfriend dumped me. 86 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,980 Well, it's her loss, Ernie. You're a catch. 87 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,620 And if I had any single girlfriends, I would set you up. What about Elizabeth? 88 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,820 No, that's not going to work out. Oh, God. 89 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,640 So where's Carmen? Oh, she's upstairs studying with Duncan. 90 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,400 Upstairs? 91 00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:06,060 Duncan's in her room? 92 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:09,560 Max wouldn't leave them alone. Carmen says they're studying and I trust her. 93 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:10,820 What about Duncan? 94 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,620 Angie, that kid walked in our house with his pants half off. 95 00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:19,480 If he trips, they could have sex by accident. 96 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,160 better if we just fill that giant head of yours with candy and just let the 97 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,160 take a swing at it. 98 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,080 You got a big head. 99 00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:37,380 Max, remember that time you got in trouble for spying on your sister? 100 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,360 Yeah. You said I was wrong. 101 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:43,760 Well, son, I think you're going to find the older you get, the line between 102 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,340 right and wrong is going to move around a lot. 103 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,380 Go spy on your sister and Duncan and tell them if they do anything wrong. 104 00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:50,459 Like what? 105 00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:51,820 Like swearing or stealing. 106 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,060 or anything that makes you feel happy in a way you don't understand. 107 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:00,880 Oh, man. 108 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,100 What's wrong with me? 109 00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:05,420 Even 13 -year -olds have girlfriends. Why can't I keep a woman? 110 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,320 No, dude. 111 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,880 Just when you start to fall in love, you run out of quarters and that little 112 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:11,880 window goes down. 113 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,140 I'm serious. 114 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,220 If I could get a girl to hang out just long enough for me to do my move, she'd 115 00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:19,220 be mine like forever. 116 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:20,620 Oh, man. What's your move? 117 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:26,900 Hey! 118 00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:31,060 Hey, man, does your move always smell like Cheetos? 119 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:34,460 Uh -oh, that was quick. 120 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,100 What do you got for me? 121 00:06:36,260 --> 00:06:37,260 What do you got for me? 122 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,640 You get to eat my food and sleep in my house for one more day. 123 00:06:42,260 --> 00:06:43,400 I couldn't see anything. 124 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:44,900 The bedroom door's closed. 125 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,100 Oh, man, I knew it! 126 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,160 What's going on? 127 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,540 Well, it's hard to explain, man. 128 00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:57,750 You see, when boys and girls get older, they start to pair off until there's 129 00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,190 just one guy left. 130 00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:02,770 That's me. 131 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,050 All right, you two. 132 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,470 Dad, what are you doing? 133 00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:10,850 Just making sure everybody's got a pair of pants and they're on. 134 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,530 All right, this room's okay. 135 00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:17,750 Carmen, your mom wants you downstairs. 136 00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:19,510 I didn't hear her call me. 137 00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,000 Well, you know, when you've been married as long as we have, there's almost like 138 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 a telepathy. 139 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,120 Okay. Okay, Angie. Okay. 140 00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:29,080 She's on her way down. Angie, stop yelling at me. 141 00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,780 Okay, but if you kill him, you'll just go to jail and you'll have a boyfriend. 142 00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:40,720 First, you want to do yourself a really big favor? 143 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,360 Get off the bed. 144 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:43,520 Sure. 145 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,900 Look, where I come from, we weren't ever allowed in the room with a girl. 146 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,220 And I'm going to tell you straight. 147 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:50,680 I don't like it. 148 00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:52,920 And I want you to know I'm watching you. 149 00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:58,160 Even when you don't think I'm around, I'm watching you. 150 00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:04,980 When you're sleeping in your little race car bed, I'm watching you. 151 00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:10,900 Even if you start to think, hey, maybe he's not watching me, I'm watching you. 152 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,800 Pop quiz. What am I doing right now, Duncan? 153 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,040 Watching me, sir. 154 00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:18,900 There you go. 155 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,880 That wasn't so bad, was it? 156 00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,020 Off the bed! 157 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,360 I'm sorry my dad was such a jerk yesterday. 158 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,419 Maybe we shouldn't be talking about him. He kind of scares me. 159 00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:44,320 It's just a big head. 160 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,080 It scares a lot of people, but he's harmless. 161 00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:53,690 Hang on. That big head just floated in. 162 00:08:56,550 --> 00:08:57,550 Doing your homework? 163 00:08:57,630 --> 00:08:58,630 What do you think? 164 00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:01,170 What's wrong with you? 165 00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:03,830 Nothing. I love it when you embarrass me in front of my boyfriend. 166 00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:05,670 Do you have to call him that? 167 00:09:06,090 --> 00:09:07,830 Well, then how about if I call him my man? 168 00:09:10,190 --> 00:09:12,650 Why don't we call him Caucasian male? Because that's what's going to be on the 169 00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:13,650 coroner's report. 170 00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,070 You're being so uncool. 171 00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:18,010 It's not my job to be cool. 172 00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:19,910 I don't want you alone with Duncan. 173 00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:21,510 Got it? 174 00:09:22,750 --> 00:09:23,750 Got it. 175 00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:26,050 Come on. 176 00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,730 No. Come on. 177 00:09:27,950 --> 00:09:29,730 Come on. If you hug me, I'll leave. 178 00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:34,470 That's my girl. 179 00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:35,570 But you said you'd leave. 180 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:40,310 Come on, honey. Hurry up. We gotta get you to dance class. 181 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:43,650 We have another 10 minutes. I know, but I wanna get out of here before Grandma 182 00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,850 Benny gets here. Good idea. Go out the... 183 00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:51,870 I'm sorry, Benny, but usually there's a cold chill before you appear. 184 00:09:58,350 --> 00:10:01,330 Carmen had the boyfriend, and you're still letting her out of the house? 185 00:10:01,630 --> 00:10:02,830 Mom, I got it under control. 186 00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:05,530 I talked to her about Duncan, then we hugged. 187 00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:09,290 Hugged. Oh, that's different. That's so sweet. I wish I'd been there with the 188 00:10:09,290 --> 00:10:11,550 camera to take a picture of how stupid you are. 189 00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:14,390 Oh, you're in such a good mood today, Mom. 190 00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:16,010 You smoking with the patch on again? 191 00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:21,420 If you want your daughter to stay out of trouble, you've got to keep an eye on 192 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,180 her. Have you searched her room yet? No. 193 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,020 What are you waiting for? 194 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,700 Hey, hey, hey, there's limits. 195 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,980 Just because you searched my room doesn't mean I'm going to search hers. 196 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,220 You did a lot of stuff that was way over the line, Mom. 197 00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,000 Like what over the line? 198 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,540 Like even after I left the house, you tried to keep me away from girls. 199 00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,120 Sylvia at work? You threatened her. 200 00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:42,600 Sylvia? She was a slut. 201 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,460 To look through her stuff, I am. Mom. Mom. 202 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:53,780 It's a condom. 203 00:10:55,340 --> 00:10:56,680 Mom, that's a wet nap. 204 00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:01,760 What's that? That's a computer. 205 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,120 Karma's got an instant message. 206 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,960 His big head's still there. 207 00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:19,670 It's a message from Duncan. 208 00:11:23,170 --> 00:11:24,270 Hey, you still there? 209 00:11:31,470 --> 00:11:32,470 Don't worry. 210 00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:34,270 Big Dad has left. 211 00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:39,050 Hey, I know you were a little scared yesterday, but wasn't that fun? 212 00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:46,890 What was the most fun for you? 213 00:11:48,039 --> 00:11:49,700 Please be specific. 214 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:55,100 Watching you do it over and over again until you got it right. 215 00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,800 Oh, my God! 216 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,540 Has anyone seen my dance bag? 217 00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,760 Hey, explain this, young lady. 218 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,080 What's going on? What were you doing with Duncan over and over again until 219 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,080 got it right? 220 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:17,100 You were talking to Duncan as me? I don't believe this. Answer the question. 221 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,359 What were you doing? 222 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,160 We were doing half -pipes. Oh, my God, and you're doing drugs, too. 223 00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:26,400 Angie, do you know this kid does half -pipes? A half -pipe is where you ride 224 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,240 your skateboard. Duncan was teaching me. Mom was there the whole time. 225 00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,000 What is going on here? 226 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,800 Dad was talking to Duncan on the computer pretending to be me. 227 00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,380 Are you out of your mind? 228 00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:38,140 I don't believe you. You're the worst dad ever. 229 00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,120 How can I be the worst dad ever? 230 00:12:43,380 --> 00:12:45,200 There's Macaulay Culkin's dad and... 231 00:13:01,610 --> 00:13:02,610 is my teacher. 232 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:03,950 Mrs. 233 00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:05,890 Johnson, what do you like about her? 234 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,410 I don't know. 235 00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:08,910 There's the sweater. 236 00:13:09,090 --> 00:13:11,590 When she wears it, it makes everything okay. 237 00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,370 George, can you come in the kitchen, please? 238 00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:23,510 What were you thinking, George? Going on the internet pretending to be a 13 239 00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:24,389 -year -old girl. 240 00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:26,710 The FBI has a whole division looking for guys like you. 241 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,460 I was snooping on Carmen because I was worried about her. No, you invaded her 242 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:34,280 privacy. You can't do that. It's wrong. 243 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,580 I realize that. I got caught, so it's wrong. 244 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,620 Look, I worry about her, too, but I trust her judgment. 245 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,160 George, we can't be with her every minute of the day. 246 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,740 Yes, we can. I saw this camera on the Internet. Angie, it's this small. 247 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:54,200 Listen to me. We are raising her right. And when the time comes, she'll make the 248 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,200 right decision. 249 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:59,130 Now I'm going to take Max to karate, and when Carmen gets back from the movies, 250 00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:01,130 I really think you should apologize to her. 251 00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:27,830 Are you there? 252 00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:30,550 Yes, I'm here. 253 00:14:30,890 --> 00:14:32,310 I'm Carmen. Over. 254 00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:35,670 I'm glad I got you before you left. 255 00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,410 Well, here's some sucky news. 256 00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:40,490 I'm grounded, so I can't go to Stacy's party tonight. 257 00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:43,770 Yes, that is sucky. 258 00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:46,310 Good thing I'm going, right? 259 00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:50,910 Yeah. Do your parents still think you're going to the movies? 260 00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:52,830 What? 261 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:55,070 Of course they do those... 262 00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:01,140 Idiot. Hey, will there be alcohol there even though we are underage? 263 00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:05,220 Stacy's parents won't be there so anything goes. 264 00:15:05,660 --> 00:15:07,760 Hey, come on. I thought we were going to watch a fight. 265 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,500 Ooh, a chat room. All right. 266 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,840 Hey, I'm going to listen to Milano on one of those. 267 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,000 Do you know she runs a body shop in Albuquerque? 268 00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:17,740 Hey, I got to go. 269 00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:18,979 Parents coming. 270 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:20,660 Good luck with Duncan tonight. 271 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,340 Good luck with Duncan. 272 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:25,900 Hey, why is there a smiley face? 273 00:15:26,180 --> 00:15:27,580 No, it's a winking face. 274 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,360 See, because it's winking. 275 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,280 Like, good luck with Duncan. 276 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,680 My God. 277 00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:40,300 Come on, we're going to go break up a party. 278 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,160 Oh, all right, breaking up a party. 279 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:46,080 This will make a good story for Elisa Milano. Or maybe I should save it for 280 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,480 Liu. She's an opasso. 281 00:15:58,850 --> 00:15:59,850 Who is it? 282 00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:03,310 I'm Mr. Lopez, Carmen's dad. Open the door, I'm knocking it down on top of 283 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:04,389 No way. 284 00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:05,970 Hey, hey, hey, I'm just kidding. 285 00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:07,730 I bought you guys some beer. 286 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,050 All right. 287 00:16:11,890 --> 00:16:13,430 Sorry, I left your beer in the future. 288 00:16:15,930 --> 00:16:16,930 Okay, listen up. 289 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,210 Party's over. 290 00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:22,210 Nobody goes anywhere until the parents pick them up. There's the phone right 291 00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:23,210 there. Start calling. 292 00:16:24,590 --> 00:16:25,610 Where the hell is Carmen Lopez? 293 00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,070 It's Carmen San Diego, moron. 294 00:16:30,430 --> 00:16:32,770 Do me a favor. Grab some scissors and go run around the yard. 295 00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:37,970 Oh, my God, Dad. What are you doing here? What the hell are you doing back 296 00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:38,869 there? Nothing. 297 00:16:38,870 --> 00:16:39,870 Where's Duncan? 298 00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:40,970 He left. 299 00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:42,210 He's lucky. 300 00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:44,130 Did you think you were really going to get away with this? 301 00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:47,630 You blew it, Carmen. You were in so much trouble. Max is going to get punished 302 00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:49,210 just because there's so much extra left over. 303 00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,490 Ernie, can you stick around until all the parents come? Yeah, no problem. All 304 00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:54,119 right, thanks. 305 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,120 Come on, let's go. 306 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:59,140 All right, Ernie's in charge now. 307 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,700 So, who's got a hot single mom? 308 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:05,920 I said hot. 309 00:17:13,579 --> 00:17:17,160 This isn't going to work, Carmen. You just can't run up to your room and hide. 310 00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,220 Especially since you don't have a key. 311 00:17:22,339 --> 00:17:24,720 Before we go in there... I want you to know how much this is going to hurt your 312 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,460 mother. She trusted you. 313 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,820 Cry all you want, but you're never going to see that Duncan kid again. I don't 314 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,420 care about Duncan. He's a jerk. 315 00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:37,940 What do you mean he's a jerk? What happened at the party? 316 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,060 He broke up with me. 317 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,320 You got what you wanted. Are you happy now? 318 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,780 Well, it's a little hard to be happy with all the crying. 319 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,140 Just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean you can't talk to me. I'm your father. 320 00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:59,060 We were making out. Okay, give me a second. 321 00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:03,540 I'm here. I'm good. 322 00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:09,580 Then he tried to do some other stuff. 323 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:24,919 Not stupid. 324 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,480 I'm proud of you and your mom's going to be proud of you. You did the right 325 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,400 thing tonight with that boy. You don't understand. 326 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,600 That's all he wanted. He never liked me. 327 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,380 Ever. 328 00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:36,480 Not the way I liked him. 329 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,660 I'm sorry, Carmen. 330 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,200 I wish I could say something to make you feel better. You can't. 331 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,960 Maybe you could say something to make me feel better. 332 00:19:06,990 --> 00:19:09,070 Have you thought about how you're going to raise the kids after I'm dead 333 00:19:09,070 --> 00:19:10,090 sometime later this week? 334 00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,530 You're not going anywhere without me. 335 00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,850 Where, Angie? This kid's going to kill me. She's 13 years old. I can't take 336 00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:18,850 three more years of this. 337 00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:20,510 Why? What happens when she's 16? 338 00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:23,710 We throw her in the volcano and the gods let us live forever. 339 00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:27,250 You know what, George? 340 00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:29,930 Everything's going to be okay. 341 00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:33,510 Is that the best you can do? 342 00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:34,890 No. 343 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:36,130 Give me a second. 344 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:42,780 really learned a lesson and shall never lie to us again. 345 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:44,580 Now you're talking. 346 00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:51,580 You are the best father ever in the history of parenthood. Uh -huh. Our lawn 347 00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:54,380 is the envy of the neighborhood. 348 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:56,620 Damn straight. 349 00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:01,780 Your mother will fall into a deep hole where she will be very happy, but she 350 00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,880 will never be able to contact. 351 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,180 in the history of the universe. 352 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:22,040 Tell me about my mom falling in the hole again. 353 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,340 I can't believe I've helped her, Duncan. He's such a jerk. 354 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:35,080 Honey, we've all been there. My first boyfriend left me for my best friend 355 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,220 because she had bigger boobs.