1 00:00:00,171 --> 00:00:01,001 PREVIOUSLY ON REAPER... 2 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,034 IS THIS A CARJACKING? ARE YOU CARJACKING ME? 3 00:00:03,034 --> 00:00:03,674 I'M THE DEVIL. 4 00:00:03,674 --> 00:00:05,076 PARENTS SOLD MY SOUL TO THE DEVIL. 5 00:00:05,076 --> 00:00:06,737 NOW I'M A BOUNTY HUNTER FOR HELL. 6 00:00:06,737 --> 00:00:07,338 YOU GONNA TELL ANDI? 7 00:00:07,338 --> 00:00:10,541 NO, I'M NOT GONNA TELL ANDI. IF SHE KNOWS, SHE'LL THINK I'M A FREAK. 8 00:00:10,541 --> 00:00:11,542 SHE'LL NEVER GO OUT WITH ME. 9 00:00:11,542 --> 00:00:13,384 WHATEVER, MAN. SHE WAS ALL UP IN YOUR GRILL PIECE, 10 00:00:13,384 --> 00:00:14,445 AND YOU TOLD HER TO TAKE A HIKE. 11 00:00:14,445 --> 00:00:15,486 AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CAPTURE HIM? 12 00:00:15,486 --> 00:00:18,219 Devil: THIS WILL HELP-- A VESSEL, HANDCRAFTED IN THE BOWELS OF PERDITION 13 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,151 BY THE INIQUITOUS AND THE VILE. 14 00:00:20,151 --> 00:00:23,154 YOU PUT A SOUL IN HELL. HOW DOES THAT FEEL, HUH? 15 00:00:23,154 --> 00:00:25,356 THAT'S PURE, UNADULTERATED SATISFACTION. 16 00:00:25,356 --> 00:00:29,100 ALL THE MONEY AND TAIL IN THE WORLD CAN'T COMPARE. 17 00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:31,802 [BECAUSE I'M AWESOME BY THE DOLLYROTS PLAYING] 18 00:00:31,802 --> 00:00:35,035 ♪ UH-HUH ♪ 19 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,109 ♪ YOU SAY I'M GIFTED... ♪ 20 00:00:38,109 --> 00:00:40,111 [SIGHS] 21 00:00:40,111 --> 00:00:42,243 UNH! 22 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,477 [KEYS JINGLING] 23 00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,220 [CAR ALARM BEEPS] 24 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:54,355 ♪ I ALWAYS TELL YOU HOW SMART YOU ARE ♪ 25 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:54,785 WHAT? 26 00:00:54,785 --> 00:00:57,057 ♪ IT'S 'CAUSE MY BRAIN IS REALLY SUPER-SIZED ♪ 27 00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:01,732 ♪ YOU'RE AN ACADEMIC SUPERSTAR ♪ 28 00:01:01,732 --> 00:01:03,164 WHA-- 29 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:07,468 ♪ I'M A LEADER, I'M A WINNER ♪ 30 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,400 MOM? DAD? 31 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,802 I NEED A RIDE! 32 00:01:16,147 --> 00:01:18,509 Sam: THANKS. [GRUNTS] 33 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,851 THAT'S 14 EVEN. 34 00:01:20,851 --> 00:01:23,514 OK. 35 00:01:27,218 --> 00:01:27,818 YOU BEING CUTE? 36 00:01:27,818 --> 00:01:32,493 UH, NO, I-- I SWEAR THE MONEY WAS JUST IN MY HAND... 37 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:35,726 ALONG WITH MY WALLET. 38 00:01:35,726 --> 00:01:38,129 UM... 39 00:01:38,129 --> 00:01:41,202 BEN! HEY, WOULD YOU-- HOLD ON ONE SECOND, OK? 40 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,503 BEN! BEN, HEY. 41 00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:43,604 DUDE, I NEED SOME CASH. 42 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:47,178 CAN I BORROW SOME, UH... SOME...REALLY? 43 00:01:47,178 --> 00:01:50,581 WHAT ARE YOU D-- I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! 44 00:01:52,243 --> 00:01:55,115 SO, WHAT, JUST DISAPPEARED OUT OF YOUR HAND? 45 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,848 YEAH, MONEY, WALLET, KEYS. IT WAS NOT A GOOD MORNING. 46 00:01:57,848 --> 00:02:00,691 OH, WAIT. ARE THESE YOURS? 47 00:02:00,691 --> 00:02:01,652 WHERE'D YOU FIND THOSE? 48 00:02:01,652 --> 00:02:03,794 THEY WERE IN MY POCKET LIKE 20 MINUTES AGO. 49 00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:05,296 I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT GOT THERE. 50 00:02:05,296 --> 00:02:07,658 I DO. IT'S MY DEVIL POWER KICKING IN. 51 00:02:07,658 --> 00:02:09,560 WAIT, TO MAKE STUFF DISAPPEAR? 52 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,763 YEAH, IT'S SUPPOSED TO POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION OF AN ESCAPED SOUL FROM HELL 53 00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:14,565 SO I CAN HUNT THEM DOWN AND SEND THEM BACK. 54 00:02:14,565 --> 00:02:17,468 HEY, HEY. GUYS. LITTLE HELP? 55 00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:18,709 IT'S THE PAINT MIXER RODEO. 56 00:02:18,709 --> 00:02:22,643 THAT'S ONE ANGRY LOOKING BULL. YOU SURE YOU'RE READY FOR THIS? 57 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:23,774 [GRUNTING] 58 00:02:23,774 --> 00:02:26,547 THIS IS NOT MY FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO, SON. 59 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:27,878 CLOCK READY. 60 00:02:27,878 --> 00:02:29,520 THANK YOU, BEN. 61 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,582 GUYS, READY? 62 00:02:35,586 --> 00:02:36,887 RELEASE THE BULL. 63 00:02:36,887 --> 00:02:38,529 OK! GAH! 64 00:02:38,529 --> 00:02:40,160 WHOA HO HO! 65 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,732 GRAVITY MY FOOT! 66 00:02:41,732 --> 00:02:42,733 Ben: WHOO HOO! 67 00:02:42,733 --> 00:02:44,435 YEE-HAW! WHOO HOO! 68 00:02:44,435 --> 00:02:47,868 [ALL LAUGHING AND SHOUTING] 69 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,169 AAH! 70 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,801 WHOA. 71 00:02:50,801 --> 00:02:52,773 WHOA! 72 00:02:54,345 --> 00:02:56,307 AHH, HA HA HA. 73 00:02:56,307 --> 00:02:59,350 HA HA HA HA HA! 74 00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,311 Sock: UH... 75 00:03:00,311 --> 00:03:03,284 OW, NOT THE CROTCH. NOT THE CROTCH. 76 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,458 SAM... 77 00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:09,590 HUH? [SOCK CHUCKLES] 78 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,961 I FOUND YOUR WALLET. 79 00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:13,724 Sock: THAT IS AWESOME! 80 00:03:32,683 --> 00:03:34,315 HI, CAN I HELP YOU? 81 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,486 YEAH, HOW MUCH IS THIS? 82 00:03:35,486 --> 00:03:37,548 UM, LET ME SEE. 83 00:03:37,548 --> 00:03:38,719 AAH! 84 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,321 AAH! AAH! 85 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:43,394 WHA--[PANTING] 86 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,328 I'LL JUST ASK SOMEONE ELSE. 87 00:03:48,799 --> 00:03:51,462 [PANTING] 88 00:03:51,862 --> 00:03:52,563 WAS THAT YOU? 89 00:03:52,563 --> 00:03:56,307 I JUST--THE DEVIL'S TOTALLY MESSING WITH MY HEAD. 90 00:03:56,307 --> 00:03:57,908 HEH HEH. YOU SEE THAT GUY? 91 00:03:57,908 --> 00:03:58,469 YEAH. 92 00:03:58,469 --> 00:04:00,571 I JUST HAD THIS REALLY WEIRD VISION THAT HE STABBED ME. 93 00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:03,974 I JUST HAD THIS REALLY WEIRD CUPCAKE, SO I GUESS WE'RE EVEN. 94 00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:05,616 UH, COME ON, LET'S GO. 95 00:04:05,616 --> 00:04:06,317 WHERE ARE WE GOING? 96 00:04:06,317 --> 00:04:08,919 NEW DEVIL BOX ARRIVED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BACK ROOM. 97 00:04:08,919 --> 00:04:09,980 SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF BEN. 98 00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,782 WHAT ABOUT ME? I JUST THOUGHT I GOT STABBED. 99 00:04:11,782 --> 00:04:12,623 YOU KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS? 100 00:04:12,623 --> 00:04:14,855 YEAH, ALL RIGHT. COME ON, HERE. HOP ON. LET'S GO. 101 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,828 COME ON, PIGGYBACK. IT'LL CHEER YOU UP. LET'S GO. 102 00:04:17,828 --> 00:04:19,390 COME ON! COME ON! 103 00:04:19,390 --> 00:04:20,861 EH...NO. I'M GOOD. 104 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,263 YEAH, YOU'RE A LITTLE BIG FOR THAT NOW, AREN'T YA? 105 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:27,498 JUST SO YOU KNOW, I WOULD HAVE PIGGYBACKED YOU RIGHT BACK THERE. 106 00:04:28,439 --> 00:04:30,270 Sock: I WONDER WHAT'S IN THE BOX THIS TIME. 107 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,374 YOU KNOW, WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST OPEN IT AND GET IT OVER WITH. 108 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:36,307 [BOX SNARLS] OOH! OH! 109 00:04:36,307 --> 00:04:38,679 [RATTLES] 110 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:39,910 SAM, YOUR BOX WAS MOVING. 111 00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:40,851 YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW. 112 00:04:40,851 --> 00:04:41,882 IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S ALIVE. 113 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,885 LIKE THERE'S A LITTLE TINY DEMON MONSTER TRYING TO SCRATCH ITS WAY OUT. 114 00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:47,518 THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. CAN WE OPEN IT? 115 00:04:47,518 --> 00:04:48,619 Andi: HEY, GUYS. 116 00:04:48,619 --> 00:04:49,960 Sam: YEAH, YEAH, HI. 117 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,493 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU LOOK GUILTY. 118 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,326 NO GUILTIER THAN USUAL. HEH HEH. NO, NO. 119 00:04:55,326 --> 00:04:55,896 WHAT'S GOING ON? 120 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,368 I'M GOOD. LISTEN, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 121 00:04:57,368 --> 00:04:59,970 YEAH, YEAH, LET'S-- LET'S TAKE A WALK. YOU WANNA-- 122 00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:01,071 OK. YEAH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 123 00:05:01,071 --> 00:05:04,875 UNIVERSITY OF IDAHO, FLAMING LIPS CONCERT, 124 00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:06,507 THIS WEEKEND. 125 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:07,608 SOUNDS GREAT. YOU GOING? 126 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,039 YEAH. MY COUSIN'S A STUDENT THERE, 127 00:05:09,039 --> 00:05:10,841 SO HE SAID HE CAN GET US TICKETS. 128 00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:12,413 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 129 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,515 US, AS IN ME? 130 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,916 YEAH! OH, GOOD, YEAH. 131 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:16,487 YOU KNOW, ALL OF US. 132 00:05:16,487 --> 00:05:18,849 BEN, SOCK, JOSIE. I MEAN, IT'S A 7-HOUR DRIVE, 133 00:05:18,849 --> 00:05:20,991 BUT WE CAN JUST TAKE TURNS AT THE WHEEL. 134 00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:21,592 RIGHT. 135 00:05:21,592 --> 00:05:23,323 I GUESS, YOU KNOW, WE NEED A PLACE TO SPEND THE NIGHT. 136 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,956 UM, SOCK. SOCK'S UNCLE HAS A VAN. WE COULD CRASH THERE. 137 00:05:25,956 --> 00:05:26,897 PERFECT! YEAH. 138 00:05:26,897 --> 00:05:29,760 OK, GREAT. WE'LL JUST HAVE A VAN SLUMBER PARTY THEN. 139 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,032 OH, BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW... I SNORE. 140 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,935 EXTREMELY LOUD, LIKE A 50-YEAR-OLD MAN. 141 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,767 HEH. NICE. 142 00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,038 HA HA. IT'S REALLY ATTRACTIVE. 143 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,040 WELL, I MYSELF AM A DROOLER, SO... 144 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,972 OH! FANTASTIC THEN. PERFECT. 145 00:05:41,972 --> 00:05:44,715 I MEAN, THIS IS GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN, RIGHT? 146 00:05:44,715 --> 00:05:47,077 I MEAN, JUST THE 5 OF US GOING AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND. 147 00:05:47,077 --> 00:05:50,020 WE'LL HAVE BED HEAD TOGETHER. IT'S GONNA BE-- 148 00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:51,782 MY OFFICE NOW. 149 00:05:51,782 --> 00:05:53,754 AND BRING THE MORONS. 150 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,727 UM...OK. 151 00:05:56,727 --> 00:05:57,958 [PEN CLICKING] 152 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:58,859 [EXHALES] 153 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,532 CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS CAN OF WASTED PAINT? 154 00:06:01,532 --> 00:06:03,464 IT'S LEAKING ONTO YOUR DESK. 155 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,695 [GASPS] 156 00:06:04,695 --> 00:06:07,367 I FOUND 6 OTHERS JUST LIKE IT 157 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,839 IN THE DUMPSTER. 158 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:10,801 SEEMS THE RODEO IS BACK IN TOWN. 159 00:06:10,801 --> 00:06:12,943 WHAT CAN I SAY, TED? YOU CAN'T FENCE THIS COWBOY IN. 160 00:06:12,943 --> 00:06:17,147 WELL, CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE JUST INCURRED THE WRATH OF TED. 161 00:06:17,147 --> 00:06:19,049 HOLD ON A SECOND. I WASN'T EVEN THERE. 162 00:06:19,049 --> 00:06:19,910 WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED? 163 00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:22,052 BECAUSE, ANDI, IF YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE SOLUTION, 164 00:06:22,052 --> 00:06:23,614 THEN YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM. 165 00:06:23,614 --> 00:06:27,818 THERE WILL BE NO MORE TALKING OF A SOCIAL NATURE AT WORK. 166 00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:29,420 ANY OF YOU. 167 00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,722 WOW. HOLD ON. WHY? 168 00:06:31,722 --> 00:06:32,523 WHY, SAM? 169 00:06:32,523 --> 00:06:35,796 BECAUSE THE WORKBENCH IS MY WORLD, 170 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,929 AND I WILL NOT LET YOUR CHAOS DESTROY THIS WORLD. 171 00:06:38,929 --> 00:06:41,632 SO THAT MEANS THERE WILL BE NO MORE TALKING, 172 00:06:41,632 --> 00:06:43,874 CHIT-CHATTING, AND/OR YARN SPINNING. 173 00:06:43,874 --> 00:06:47,478 I'M SORRY, TED. I'M NOT FEELIN' THIS PLAN. WHAT ELSE YOU GOT? 174 00:06:47,478 --> 00:06:49,910 OH, I GOT WEEKEND SHIFTS, 175 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,082 NIGHT SHIFTS, HOLIDAY HOURS. 176 00:06:52,082 --> 00:06:56,487 I HAVE THE POWER TO DESTROY YOUR SOCIAL LIVES 177 00:06:56,487 --> 00:07:00,491 UNTIL YOU BEG ME... 178 00:07:00,491 --> 00:07:02,152 TO FIRE YOU. 179 00:07:02,152 --> 00:07:04,595 SO GOOD DAY, SIR. 180 00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:06,957 YOU KNOW WHAT, SAM? HUH? 181 00:07:06,957 --> 00:07:10,631 I THINK THAT I AM OUTRAGED RIGHT NOW. 182 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,762 GOOD TO KNOW, YEAH. 183 00:07:11,762 --> 00:07:13,003 CAN YOU HELP ME, PLEASE? 184 00:07:13,003 --> 00:07:14,064 [WHIMPERS] 185 00:07:14,064 --> 00:07:15,536 I CA--I CAN'T, SAM. 186 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:16,907 I'M TOO DISGRUNTLED, ALL RIGHT? 187 00:07:16,907 --> 00:07:19,940 I MEAN, GIVE ME A BREAK. NO TALKING AT WORK? 188 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,514 I MEAN, WHAT'S NEXT? TAKE AWAY THE AIR THAT I BREATHE? 189 00:07:23,514 --> 00:07:27,618 TAKE AWAY THE BEER THAT I'M ABOUT TO DRINK ON MY BREAK? 190 00:07:27,618 --> 00:07:28,048 COME ON. 191 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,720 WHAT? YOU GOT BEER? WHERE'D YOU GET BEER? 192 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,052 I ACTUALLY HIT THE DIET ICED TEA BUTTON THE VENDING MACHINE, 193 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,955 AND THIS JUST CAME OUT. I THINK MAYBE IT'S A SIGN. 194 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,957 WANT HALF? YES, I WANT HALF. 195 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,029 YEAH? I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW. 196 00:07:39,029 --> 00:07:40,030 HAVE A SEAT, BRO. 197 00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:41,131 YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, MAN. 198 00:07:41,131 --> 00:07:43,664 IT'LL ALL BLOW OVER IT'S TED. IT'S A CYCLE. 199 00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:44,735 HE ALWAYS DOES THIS. 200 00:07:44,735 --> 00:07:45,235 I'M NOT LIKE YOU, MAN. 201 00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:46,897 I CAN'T JUST SIT BACK AND LET TED WALK ALL OVER ME. 202 00:07:46,897 --> 00:07:49,670 I DON'T--WHAT? I DON'T LET TED WALK ALL OVER ME. 203 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:50,571 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 204 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:53,544 SURE, YOU DO. AND IT'S OK BECAUSE BETA MALES ARE IN RIGHT NOW. 205 00:07:53,544 --> 00:07:54,645 OK? CHICKS DIG IT. 206 00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:55,776 GOOD TO KNOW. GOOD TO KNOW. 207 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:59,149 I REFUSE TO ACCEPT TED'S POWER OVER ME. 208 00:07:59,149 --> 00:08:00,981 WE HAVE RIGHTS, OK? 209 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,984 WE ARE NOT MACHINES. WE ARE NOT ROBOTS. 210 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,857 BE COOLER IF WE WERE ROBOTS. 211 00:08:06,857 --> 00:08:07,718 YEAH. 212 00:08:07,718 --> 00:08:09,489 YOU KNOW WHO I'D BE IF I WAS A ROBOT? 213 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,792 WHO? THE HOT CHICK FROM TERMINATOR 3. 214 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,164 FIRST I WOULD TEAR THIS BUILDING DOWN BRICK BY BRICK, 215 00:08:14,164 --> 00:08:16,496 THEN I WOULD GO HOME, LOCK MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM, 216 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,098 AND STARE AT MY BOOBS FOR AS LONG AS I WANTED. 217 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,970 YEAH. WHICH WOULD BE A LONG TIME. 218 00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:22,603 AND THEN TED WOULD HAVE NO POWER OVER YOU. 219 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,104 TESTIFY. 220 00:08:30,641 --> 00:08:33,013 [CAN CLANKS] 221 00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:36,787 OH, SAM. 222 00:08:36,787 --> 00:08:39,019 LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO DRINK DOMESTIC. 223 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,290 WHAT'S THAT? 224 00:08:40,290 --> 00:08:42,192 WHAT? 225 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,896 I COULD GO FOR ONE OF THESE APPLES. YOU? 226 00:08:45,896 --> 00:08:46,897 [SIGHS] 227 00:08:46,897 --> 00:08:49,760 Sam: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE? 228 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,962 AHH? 229 00:08:54,164 --> 00:08:55,666 OH--OH, MY GOD. 230 00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:58,138 WE--WE NEED TO CALL AN AMBULANCE. 231 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,141 NO, SAM. IT'S OK. THERE'S NO POINT. 232 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,542 HE'S DEAD ALREADY. 233 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,175 YOU KNOW, ONE DAY YOU'RE COMING HOME, HAPPY AS A CLAM, 234 00:09:05,175 --> 00:09:08,218 AND THEN BOOM, YOU'RE GONE. 235 00:09:08,218 --> 00:09:09,950 THAT'S THE WAY LIFE IS SAM. 236 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,122 YOU'VE GOT TO EAT YOUR APPLES WHILE YOU CAN. 237 00:09:12,122 --> 00:09:14,324 SO, LET ME GUESS, AN ESCAPED SOUL FROM HELL DID THIS. 238 00:09:14,324 --> 00:09:17,287 THAT'S VERY GOOD. YOU'RE STARTING TO CATCH ON TO THIS. 239 00:09:17,287 --> 00:09:18,929 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUNNY THING IS? 240 00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:23,063 THE CORONER'S GONNA BLAME THIS GUY'S DEATH ON THE CAR CRASH. 241 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,595 THE TRUTH? 242 00:09:24,595 --> 00:09:28,068 THIS FELLOW DIED WHILE THE CAR WAS STILL MOVING. 243 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,840 HOW? 244 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:30,941 WHO KNOWS? 245 00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:34,705 IT'S LIKE...MAGIC. 246 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,947 OK, SO WHERE'S THE SOUL? 247 00:09:36,947 --> 00:09:37,708 I'M NOT GOOGLE, SAM. 248 00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:40,150 WELL, DON'T YOU HAVE MINIONS DOWN IN HELL KEEP TRACK OF THESE THINGS, 249 00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:42,613 LIKE WHO'S ESCAPED RECENTLY? I DON'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS. COME ON. 250 00:09:42,613 --> 00:09:45,155 MINIONS. YOU KNOW WHO WORKS FOR ME IN MY CENTRAL OFFICE? 251 00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:46,717 WHITE-COLLAR CRIMINALS. 252 00:09:46,717 --> 00:09:48,719 THEY HATE ME. THEY HATE THEIR JOBS. 253 00:09:48,719 --> 00:09:51,321 I'M LUCKY IF I GET COFFEE IN THE MORNING. 254 00:09:51,321 --> 00:09:53,593 [SCOFFS] 255 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,925 OH... 256 00:09:54,925 --> 00:09:56,066 OK. 257 00:09:56,066 --> 00:09:57,127 I'LL HELP YOU. 258 00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:59,199 I REMEMBER THE FILE. 259 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:02,903 IN LIFE, THE SOUL'S NAME WAS BELLIFIORE. 260 00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,675 THAT'S IT? 261 00:10:04,675 --> 00:10:07,037 THAT--THAT'S NOT GONNA HELP ME FIND HIM NOW. 262 00:10:07,037 --> 00:10:07,708 THIS COULD TAKE FOREVER. 263 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,240 WELL, SINCE WHEN ARE YOU IN SUCH A HURRY TO CATCH SOULS FOR ME? 264 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,013 BECAUSE I--I CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. 265 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,044 I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS GUY. 266 00:10:14,044 --> 00:10:17,648 ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOME OTHER PLANS? 267 00:10:17,648 --> 00:10:19,019 PLANS TO... 268 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,251 LOCK LIPS WITH SOMEBODY? 269 00:10:21,251 --> 00:10:22,953 FLAMING LIPS? 270 00:10:22,953 --> 00:10:24,154 LOOK, LOOK, I JUST-- 271 00:10:24,154 --> 00:10:26,096 THE CONCERT ISN'T UNTIL THIS WEEKEND, OK? 272 00:10:26,096 --> 00:10:29,099 AND I JUST--I FIGURED IF I COULD TAKE THE SOUL DOWN FAST, 273 00:10:29,099 --> 00:10:30,400 THEN I COULD STILL GO, YOU KNOW? 274 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,102 A LITTLE VACATION FOR A JOB WELL DONE. 275 00:10:32,102 --> 00:10:34,905 AH. WELL, HERE'S THE THING ABOUT THAT, SAMMY. 276 00:10:34,905 --> 00:10:38,008 WHEN YOUR PARENTS SIGNED THE CONTRACT FOR YOUR SOUL, 277 00:10:38,008 --> 00:10:40,370 THEY DIDN'T THINK TO ASK ABOUT VACATION DAYS, 278 00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:41,271 SO YOU DON'T GET THEM. 279 00:10:41,271 --> 00:10:43,974 SO THAT'S IT? I WORK FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? 280 00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:44,875 NO VACATION, NOTHING? 281 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:48,278 YEAH. AND I'M AFRAID I WON'T BUDGE ON THIS. 282 00:10:48,278 --> 00:10:49,950 SETS A BAD PRECEDENT. 283 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,752 GOD, YOU SOUND LIKE TED. 284 00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,054 OHH, THAT WAS HARSH. 285 00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,886 TED IS A REAL DOUCHE BAG. 286 00:10:55,886 --> 00:10:57,427 YEAH, WELL, THE TRUTH HURTS. 287 00:10:57,427 --> 00:10:58,929 YOU PUSH ME AROUND, YOU KNOW. 288 00:10:58,929 --> 00:11:01,361 YOU MAKE UP THESE TOTALLY ARBITRARY RULES 289 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,134 AND EXPECT ME TO JUST BE YOUR LITTLE ROBOT? 290 00:11:04,134 --> 00:11:05,065 NO! I'M SORRY, OK? 291 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,938 I REFUSE TO ACCEPT YOUR POWER OVER ME, ALL RIGHT? 292 00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:09,970 I'M NOT YOUR MACHINE. 293 00:11:12,843 --> 00:11:15,045 [TRUCK HORN HONKS] 294 00:11:24,214 --> 00:11:26,056 [GRUNTS] 295 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,792 I TRUST I'VE MADE MY POINT. 296 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,825 LOUD AND CLEAR. 297 00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,727 HEH. 298 00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:49,940 [BOX SHUDDERS] 299 00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:50,941 WHAT IS IN THAT THING? 300 00:11:50,941 --> 00:11:53,113 Sam: WHATEVER IT IS, IT WAS FORGED IN HELL. 301 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:57,017 SOCK, YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S GONNA HELP YOU SLOW IT DOWN? 302 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,119 BEN, YOU WANT TO TRADE? NO. 303 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,891 [BOX SHUDDERS] 304 00:12:00,891 --> 00:12:02,893 [WHISPERS] OK. 305 00:12:04,354 --> 00:12:05,195 I'M GOING IN. 306 00:12:05,195 --> 00:12:07,027 [SOCK WHISPERING] All right, get it. 307 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,428 I'M GOING IN. Ben: NICE AND EASY. 308 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:12,102 I'M GONNA DO IT. NICE AND EASY. 309 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:16,006 [BOX RATTLING] 310 00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:23,914 [COOING] 311 00:12:25,015 --> 00:12:26,416 AW. 312 00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:28,148 HE'S CUTE! 313 00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,419 [COOING] 314 00:12:29,419 --> 00:12:30,750 HEH! 315 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,822 HEY. 316 00:12:31,822 --> 00:12:33,223 Sock: AW, PRETTY BIRD. 317 00:12:33,223 --> 00:12:35,285 ALL RIGHT, SO WE HAVE THE VESSEL, 318 00:12:35,285 --> 00:12:36,927 BUT ALL WE KNOW ABOUT THE SOUL 319 00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:39,229 IS THAT HIS NAME WAS BELLIFIORE... 320 00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:42,062 WHEN HE WAS ALIVE. OK. 321 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,363 812 HITS? HA HA! 322 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,866 ALL RIGHT, WE GOTTA NARROW THIS DOWN A LITTLE. 323 00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,097 MM-HMM. HOW? 324 00:12:47,097 --> 00:12:50,240 BELLIFIORE, SOUL. 325 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,942 NOPE. OK. 326 00:12:51,942 --> 00:12:53,343 BELLIFIORE, EVIL. 327 00:12:53,343 --> 00:12:55,075 PLUS EVIL. 328 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,907 SOCK... 329 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:58,809 NOW THE MOUSE HAS DISAPPEARED! 330 00:12:58,809 --> 00:13:01,781 I SWEAR, THE DEVIL DOESN'T EVEN WANT ME TO SOLVE THIS. 331 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,413 GUYS? Ted: SAM? 332 00:13:03,413 --> 00:13:06,056 DO I HEAR UNAUTHORIZED CHIT-CHAT? 333 00:13:06,056 --> 00:13:07,287 UH...UH-UH. 334 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:11,121 WHAT, ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF AGAIN, SAM? 335 00:13:11,461 --> 00:13:14,825 THAT IS A SAD, SAD STATE OF AFFAIRS, MY FRIEND. 336 00:13:14,825 --> 00:13:17,427 BECAUSE NO ONE ANSWERS. 337 00:13:17,427 --> 00:13:19,299 EVER. 338 00:13:22,032 --> 00:13:24,034 AS YOU WERE. 339 00:13:25,976 --> 00:13:28,478 GOD, I THOUGHT YOU GUYS DISAPPEARED, TOO. 340 00:13:28,478 --> 00:13:30,040 AH. 341 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,811 THIS POWER'S STUPID, SAM. 342 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,185 IF MAKING THINGS DISAPPEAR IS SUPPOSED TO BE A CLUE, 343 00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:36,516 I DON'T GET IT. 344 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,348 WAIT, WAIT, THAT'S GOOD! 345 00:13:38,348 --> 00:13:40,250 DISAPPEAR. HOLD ON. 346 00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:42,352 BELLIFIORE, DISAPPEAR. 347 00:13:42,352 --> 00:13:44,294 YES! ALL RIGHT. GOOD JOB. 348 00:13:44,294 --> 00:13:47,427 ENRICO BELLIFIORE WAS A MAGICIAN IN THE 1920s. 349 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:47,998 NEVER HEAD OF HIM. 350 00:13:47,998 --> 00:13:52,262 HE'S FEATURED ON A DOCUMENTARY DVD DARK SIDE OF MAGIC. 351 00:13:52,262 --> 00:13:55,535 LET'S FIND THAT. MAYBE...COME ON. 352 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,107 THERE'S 2 COPIES IN STORE RIGHT NOW. 353 00:13:57,107 --> 00:14:00,840 MM. GOD BLESS YOU, WORKBENCH. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING. 354 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,842 Sam: AWESOME. 355 00:14:06,516 --> 00:14:07,617 HOW MUCH FOR THE FLAT SCREEN? 356 00:14:07,617 --> 00:14:10,981 UH, A MILLION DOLLARS. TRY BEST BUY. 357 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,024 Narrator: DATELINE 1929. 358 00:14:14,024 --> 00:14:16,426 FORMER STAGE MAGICIAN ENRICO BELLIFIORE 359 00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:18,058 WALKS THE LAST MILE FOR MURDER. 360 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:21,531 A YOUNG WAITER WITH DREAMS OF BECOMING THE NEXT HOUDINI, 361 00:14:21,531 --> 00:14:24,294 BELLIFIORE TRADED IN HIS BREADSTICKS 362 00:14:24,294 --> 00:14:26,036 FOR MAGIC TRICKS. 363 00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:27,067 THE UNADORING MASSES 364 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,569 FELT BELLIFIORE NEEDED TO SHARPEN HIS SKILLS. 365 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,202 WHAT? I SAW WIRES. DID YOU GUYS SEE WIRES? 366 00:14:32,202 --> 00:14:33,273 Ben: YEAH. 367 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,104 AND SO DID THE THEATER, 368 00:14:34,104 --> 00:14:35,445 SO BELLIFIORE TOOK ONE LAST STAB AT FAME, 369 00:14:35,445 --> 00:14:40,210 AND THE CROWDS LINED UP TO SEE THIS MALEVOLENT MAGICIAN 370 00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:42,382 PERFORM HIS FINAL ROPE TRICK. 371 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,255 AND THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER EDITION OF MOVIE-VUE NEWS. 372 00:14:45,255 --> 00:14:47,117 OK. ALL RIGHT. THAT'S NEWS WITH A VIEW! 373 00:14:47,117 --> 00:14:49,289 NOW WE KNOW WHO BELLIFIORE WAS WHEN HE WAS ALIVE. 374 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,461 WE JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHERE HE IS NOW. 375 00:14:51,461 --> 00:14:51,992 YEAH. 376 00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,294 Andi on P.A.: SAM OLIVER FOR CARRY OUT, REGISTER 2. 377 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,396 SAM OLIVER, REGISTER 2. THAT'S ANDI. 378 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,128 YOU GONNA TELL HER YOU CAN'T GO TO THE CONCERT? 379 00:14:58,128 --> 00:14:59,269 DON'T REALLY HAVE A CHOICE. 380 00:14:59,269 --> 00:15:01,101 THE DEVIL MADE IT PRETTY CLEAR. 381 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:01,501 YEAH. 382 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,004 Andi: I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE CONCERT. 383 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,106 OH, YEAH. I... 384 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,037 I COULD ONLY GET 2 TICKETS. 385 00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:10,110 OH, WELL, THEN JUST-- UH, MAYBE GO WITH JOSIE. 386 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:14,184 WELL, I MEAN, IN ALL FAIRNESS, I DID ASK YOU FIRST. 387 00:15:14,184 --> 00:15:16,216 YOU'RE--WAIT, YEAH. 388 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,019 BUT, WHAT, SO JUST YOU AND ME TOGETHER? 389 00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:22,552 YEAH. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 390 00:15:23,293 --> 00:15:26,256 WELL, WHERE WOULD-- WHERE WOULD WE SLEEP? 391 00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:27,257 MY CAR. 392 00:15:27,257 --> 00:15:28,598 IT'LL BE TIGHT, BUT... 393 00:15:28,598 --> 00:15:30,660 WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU'RE NOT UP FOR IT, 394 00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:32,002 THEN I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. 395 00:15:32,002 --> 00:15:34,965 NO, NO, NO! I'M UP FOR IT! I'M COMPLETELY UP FOR IT. 396 00:15:34,965 --> 00:15:36,666 VERY, VERY UP. I-- 397 00:15:36,666 --> 00:15:37,607 WELL, GREAT. 398 00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:40,410 ALL RIGHT, YEAH. THAT SOUNDS GREAT. 399 00:15:40,971 --> 00:15:42,112 AHEM. 400 00:15:42,112 --> 00:15:43,643 OH. YOU GOT IT FROM HERE? 401 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,145 OH. YES, YES. 402 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,076 SAM! 403 00:15:46,076 --> 00:15:48,718 SORRY. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. 404 00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:52,082 AHH. 405 00:15:52,082 --> 00:15:52,582 [GIGGLES] 406 00:15:52,582 --> 00:15:55,255 Woman: NORA, DON'T THROW FOOD. 407 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,156 HEH HEH. 408 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:59,329 IT'S OK. IT--IT HAPPENS. 409 00:15:59,329 --> 00:15:59,990 UH... 410 00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:04,694 EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. WHERE--WHERE DID YOU FIND ALL THESE APPLES? 411 00:16:05,335 --> 00:16:06,436 Ben: I'M CONFUSED. 412 00:16:06,436 --> 00:16:09,599 YOU AND ANDI ARE GOING TO THE CONCERT ALONE OVERNIGHT. 413 00:16:09,599 --> 00:16:10,340 THAT'S RIGHT. 414 00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:12,572 WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE DEVIL SAYING NO VACATION TIME? 415 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,605 BEN, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ME AND ANDI ALONE OVERNIGHT. 416 00:16:15,605 --> 00:16:18,078 COME ON, THIS IS MY SHOT. I HAVE TO TAKE IT. 417 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,479 OK, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DEVIL? 418 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,183 I'M CHOOSING TO NOT THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW. 419 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,514 OH, REALLY. 420 00:16:24,514 --> 00:16:27,717 HEY, LOOK AT THAT SWORD. THAT'S GOT TO BE OUR GUY. 421 00:16:27,717 --> 00:16:28,458 Sock: HMM. 422 00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:30,160 YOU KNOW, MAYBE IF WE CATCH HIM FAST, 423 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,991 THE DEVIL MIGHT LET ME GO TO THE CONCERT WITH ANDI. 424 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,393 YEAH, 'CAUSE HE'S A REAL PEACH LIKE THAT. 425 00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:37,427 SO THEN WE POINT THE BIRDCAGE AT THE SOUL AND OPEN THE DOOR. 426 00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:37,997 I GUESS. 427 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,569 NOT LIKE THERE'S ANY MOVING PARTS. 428 00:16:39,569 --> 00:16:41,031 WHEN DOES THE BIRD COME IN? 429 00:16:41,031 --> 00:16:41,731 MAYBE HE'S BAIT. 430 00:16:41,731 --> 00:16:45,135 WAIT, I'M SORRY, BAIT? NOBODY'S HURTING WINSTON. 431 00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:46,406 WHO'S WINSTON? 432 00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:47,477 THE BIRD. 433 00:16:47,477 --> 00:16:50,110 YOU NAMED THE VESSEL? 434 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,642 DUDE, WINSTON IS NOT A BIRD'S NAME, BEN. 435 00:16:52,642 --> 00:16:55,215 OK, WELL, YOU TELL ME WHAT A BIRD'S NAME IS. 436 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:58,318 I DON'T KNOW. UH, HOW ABOUT FLAPPY OR PAUL. 437 00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:01,091 WHA--NO, NO, HE'S A WINSTON. 438 00:17:01,091 --> 00:17:02,122 RIGHT, WINSTON? 439 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,423 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 440 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,494 MY DAD'S SUPER ALLERGIC. 441 00:17:04,494 --> 00:17:06,426 YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T HAVE ANY PETS, 442 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,428 SO THIS LITTLE GUY FILLS THAT VOID. 443 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:11,601 YOU SAID I FILLED THAT VOID, BEN. 444 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:15,034 [INDISTINCT WHISPERING] 445 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,407 Sock: OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT THIS TOOLBOX. 446 00:17:17,407 --> 00:17:20,110 IS THAT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS SLAP ON A LITTLE GUYLINER, 447 00:17:20,110 --> 00:17:22,142 I GET TO SHOWER WITH CAMERON DIAZ? 448 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,173 UH, PROBABLY NOT. 449 00:17:23,173 --> 00:17:23,813 WELL, IT'S HER LOSS. 450 00:17:23,813 --> 00:17:25,645 Ben: SHE WOULDN'T THINK SO. 451 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,618 [SOCK WHISPERING] Sorry, sorry. 452 00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:36,226 Sam: OHH. 453 00:17:36,226 --> 00:17:37,787 HOW'S HE DO THAT WITH THE SWORD? 454 00:17:37,787 --> 00:17:40,830 HE'S AN ESCAPED SOUL. IT COULD BE REAL MAGIC. 455 00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:43,393 YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE SOME REAL MAGIC? 456 00:17:43,393 --> 00:17:45,635 CHECK THIS OUT. 457 00:17:47,637 --> 00:17:49,269 IT'S GONE. 458 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,171 WHERE'D IT GO? 459 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,103 [WHISPERS] Wow. 460 00:17:53,443 --> 00:17:55,145 WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? 461 00:17:55,145 --> 00:17:56,776 WE CAN'T JUST SUCK HIM IN 462 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,108 WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE ROUND. 463 00:17:58,108 --> 00:18:00,580 LET'S JUST CATCH HIM AFTER THE SHOW. 464 00:18:02,512 --> 00:18:05,655 [APPLAUSE] 465 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,087 SO THAT'S IT? 466 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,191 WHAT, NO CHEERING? NO STANDING OVATION? 467 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,663 HEH. 468 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,426 IT'S NOT FUNNY. 469 00:18:16,426 --> 00:18:19,098 I PERFORM MAGIC NO ONE ELSE CAN TOUCH, 470 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,131 AND ALL YOU DO IS JUST SIT THERE. 471 00:18:21,131 --> 00:18:23,503 WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT? 472 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,505 MAYBE YOU NEED PROOF-- 473 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,178 PROOF THAT I'M THE GREATEST MAGICIAN IN THE WORLD. 474 00:18:28,178 --> 00:18:30,140 WHAT'S THE MATTER, MATE? 475 00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:31,811 DON'T YOU LIKE MY SHOW? 476 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,483 I'M JUST HEADED TO THE RESTROOM. 477 00:18:33,483 --> 00:18:35,545 AND THAT'S BETTER THAN MY ACT? 478 00:18:35,545 --> 00:18:38,418 YOU'RE A MAGICIAN AT A FOOD FESTIVAL. 479 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,649 WHAT--WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 480 00:18:39,649 --> 00:18:41,751 COME ON, WHY DON'T YOU GET UP ON STAGE 481 00:18:41,751 --> 00:18:43,793 FOR A TRICK GUARANTEED TO IMPRESS YOU? 482 00:18:43,793 --> 00:18:44,524 TO IMPRESS ALL OF YOU? 483 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:48,198 COME ON, EVERYBODY, A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO ENCOURAGE THIS GUY. 484 00:18:48,198 --> 00:18:49,659 COME ON, COME ON. 485 00:18:49,659 --> 00:18:50,830 [WHISTLING] 486 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,403 IS THIS A REAL SWORD? 487 00:18:55,765 --> 00:18:57,907 Man: IT'S REAL. 488 00:18:57,907 --> 00:19:01,211 YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. 489 00:19:02,372 --> 00:19:03,343 UNH! 490 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,315 OH! OH! 491 00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:07,517 [GRUNTING] 492 00:19:08,918 --> 00:19:12,452 [APPLAUSE] 493 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,589 YOU GOTTA ADMIT THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD TRICK. 494 00:19:19,589 --> 00:19:21,331 Sam: LET'S CATCH HIM BACKSTAGE. 495 00:19:21,331 --> 00:19:22,932 YEAH, YEAH. I WANT AN AUTOGRAPH. 496 00:19:22,932 --> 00:19:26,236 HEY, I WAITED OUT FRONT TILL THE LOBBY WAS EMPTY. 497 00:19:26,236 --> 00:19:26,866 NO SIGN OF HIM. 498 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,898 YEAH, AND HE DIDN'T PASS ME OUT BACK. 499 00:19:28,898 --> 00:19:32,702 DAMN IT, WE LOST HIM. [SIGHS] 500 00:19:33,803 --> 00:19:36,246 Sam: ALL RIGHT, IT SUCKS THE SOUL GOT AWAY, 501 00:19:36,246 --> 00:19:37,347 BUT AT LEAST NOBODY DIED, RIGHT? 502 00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:39,649 Ben: YEAH, AND NOTHING HAPPENED TO WINSTON. 503 00:19:39,649 --> 00:19:40,680 AND NOBODY DIED, TOO. 504 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,182 Sam: WHOA. Sock: WHOA, WHAT HAPPENED? 505 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,183 [POLICE RADIO CHATTER] 506 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,616 EXCUSE ME. UH, WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? 507 00:19:46,616 --> 00:19:48,718 Paramedic: OH, WE FOUND HIM KEELED OVER, 508 00:19:48,718 --> 00:19:50,620 MASSIVE INTERNAL INJURIES. 509 00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:53,823 MUST HAVE BEEN HIT BY A CAR OR SOMETHING. 510 00:20:12,482 --> 00:20:13,483 ANOTHER BEER, PLEASE. 511 00:20:13,483 --> 00:20:15,985 YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN A DEAD BODY UP CLOSE BEFORE. 512 00:20:15,985 --> 00:20:17,947 IT'S MESSED UP. 513 00:20:17,947 --> 00:20:18,488 I KNOW, RIGHT? 514 00:20:18,488 --> 00:20:21,591 I MEAN YOU'D THINK THAT SEEING SCARFACE ALL THOSE TIMES, 515 00:20:21,591 --> 00:20:23,653 I'D BE BETTER PREPARED FOR THAT, BUT... 516 00:20:23,653 --> 00:20:25,625 WHY'D THE MAGICIAN KILL THAT GUY? 517 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,557 I DON'T KNOW. I FEEL LIKE HE HATES THE AUDIENCE. 518 00:20:27,557 --> 00:20:30,860 LIKE HE BLAMES THEM FOR HIS CRAPPY CAREER WHEN HE WAS ALIVE. 519 00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:34,003 WELL, AT LEAST WE KNOW WHERE HE'S GONNA BE. 520 00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:36,336 THE NEXT PERFORMANCE IS TOMORROW AT NOON, 521 00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,908 WHICH MEANS WE NEED TO ASK TED FOR TIME OFF. 522 00:20:38,908 --> 00:20:40,440 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NOTHING. 523 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,572 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NOTHING! 524 00:20:42,572 --> 00:20:44,744 LET ME... 525 00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:46,616 YOU NEED HELP. 526 00:20:46,616 --> 00:20:48,318 I'M WORRIED ABOUT WINSTON. 527 00:20:48,318 --> 00:20:49,919 HE'S INNOCENT IN ALL THIS. 528 00:20:49,919 --> 00:20:50,920 WHAT ABOUT ME, MAN? I'M AN INNOCENT. 529 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,023 YOU'RE NOT FEEDING ME PRETZELS AND NESTLING ME TO YOUR BREAST. 530 00:20:54,023 --> 00:20:54,984 OK, THAT'S JUST GROSS. 531 00:20:54,984 --> 00:20:57,757 BECAUSE YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT WITH THE DEVIL, SAM. 532 00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,259 NO, I DID NOT. YOU DIDN'T SIGN ANYTHING? 533 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,961 NO. NO, MY PARENTS DID. 534 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:02,532 THAT'S WEIRD. 535 00:21:02,532 --> 00:21:04,694 SAYS THE GUY WITH THE SHIRT FULL OF BIRD. 536 00:21:04,694 --> 00:21:07,297 DUDE, YOU SHOULD REALLY TAKE A LOOK AT THAT CONTRACT. 537 00:21:07,297 --> 00:21:09,569 THAT'S NOT COOL YOUR PARENTS SOLD YOUR SOUL 538 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:10,970 TO THE DEVIL WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT. 539 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:13,873 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, LITTLE MAN? 540 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,945 Sam: YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD POINT. 541 00:21:15,945 --> 00:21:20,650 SEE IF MY PARENTS HAVE A COPY OF THE CONTRACT SOMEWHERE. 542 00:21:21,311 --> 00:21:23,853 HEY, GOOD MORNING. YOU'RE UP EARLY. 543 00:21:23,853 --> 00:21:25,815 YEAH. HEY. 544 00:21:25,815 --> 00:21:27,987 UM... 545 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,990 CAN I SEE MY CONTRACT? 546 00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,962 WHICH CONTRACT IS THAT? 547 00:21:32,962 --> 00:21:35,425 UH...IT'S... 548 00:21:35,425 --> 00:21:37,066 THE CONTRACT. 549 00:21:37,066 --> 00:21:40,900 YOU KNOW, FOR MY SOUL? 550 00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:43,503 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE THAT FOR? 551 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:46,536 WELL, I JUST THOUGHT I SHOULD SEE IT. 552 00:21:46,536 --> 00:21:47,907 YOU KNOW WHAT? 553 00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,839 YOU'RE RIGHT. 554 00:21:49,839 --> 00:21:51,941 YOU DESERVE TO SEE IT. 555 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,644 OK, UH, LET ME THINK. 556 00:21:54,644 --> 00:21:56,486 WHERE DID WE PUT THAT? 557 00:21:56,486 --> 00:21:58,388 Sam: WELL, WHAT'S IN THERE? 558 00:21:58,388 --> 00:22:00,990 THIS IS YOUR MEMENTO BOX. 559 00:22:00,990 --> 00:22:05,955 I HAVEN'T LOOKED IN HERE IN YEARS. 560 00:22:05,955 --> 00:22:07,697 HEH HEH. 561 00:22:07,697 --> 00:22:09,899 YOU PUT THE CONTRACT FOR MY SOUL 562 00:22:09,899 --> 00:22:14,404 WITH MY THIRD-GRADE REPORT CARD AND MR. HUGGLES? 563 00:22:14,404 --> 00:22:15,835 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 564 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,367 IT'S NOT GONNA BE IN HERE. 565 00:22:17,367 --> 00:22:21,040 OK, MAYBE YOUR DAD KNOWS WHERE IT IS. 566 00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:26,015 [CELL PHONE DIALING] 567 00:22:26,015 --> 00:22:27,076 OH. WELL, UH... 568 00:22:27,076 --> 00:22:29,348 DID YOU CHECK THE LINEN CLOSET? 569 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:30,420 YES. JOHN, YOU KNOW, 570 00:22:30,420 --> 00:22:33,823 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN'T GET A HANDLE ON THE PAPERWORK. 571 00:22:33,823 --> 00:22:35,455 WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FILING SYSTEM. 572 00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:37,627 YOU KEEP YOUR GOLF CLEATS AND TENNIS SHOES... 573 00:22:37,627 --> 00:22:38,728 YOU'RE UP, JOHN. 574 00:22:38,728 --> 00:22:40,960 CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? 575 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:41,931 FINE. 576 00:22:41,931 --> 00:22:44,534 BUT THAT'S YOUR ANSWER TO EVERYTHING. 577 00:22:44,534 --> 00:22:45,935 JUST...UH... 578 00:22:45,935 --> 00:22:48,938 CHECK THE OFFICE WITH THE TAX RETURNS. 579 00:22:48,938 --> 00:22:50,470 OK. 580 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,542 COME ON, SAM. 581 00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:01,050 OH! AHA. HERE IT IS. 582 00:23:02,982 --> 00:23:04,514 [EXHALES] WOW. 583 00:23:04,514 --> 00:23:06,986 THIS IS KIND OF A BIG DEAL. 584 00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:09,018 I KNOW. 585 00:23:13,963 --> 00:23:15,965 WHAT'S WRONG? 586 00:23:17,026 --> 00:23:18,868 WELL... 587 00:23:25,475 --> 00:23:28,638 IT FELL APART. 588 00:23:28,638 --> 00:23:31,481 UH... 589 00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:36,746 DON'T DISAPPEAR. 590 00:23:36,746 --> 00:23:38,147 DON'T DISAPPEAR. 591 00:23:38,147 --> 00:23:41,020 DON'T DISAPPEAR. 592 00:23:43,893 --> 00:23:46,125 [SCREAMS] 593 00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:48,057 SON OF A BITCH! 594 00:23:48,057 --> 00:23:50,059 AAH! 595 00:23:50,059 --> 00:23:52,061 [EXHALES] 596 00:23:58,007 --> 00:24:00,910 [CAR ENGINE REVVING] 597 00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:10,019 [ENGINE REVS] 598 00:24:10,019 --> 00:24:11,581 Devil: HEY, YOU WANT A RIDE? 599 00:24:11,581 --> 00:24:14,624 OH, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! 600 00:24:14,624 --> 00:24:15,855 AW, COME ON. HOP IN. 601 00:24:15,855 --> 00:24:17,657 I WANT YOU TO FEEL THE V8 IN THIS BABY. 602 00:24:17,657 --> 00:24:19,128 YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WANT IN RETURN? 603 00:24:19,128 --> 00:24:20,860 DO I HAVE TO SIGN A CONTRACT? 604 00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:21,961 HEH HEH. YOU KNOW, SAM... 605 00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:24,934 SARCASM IS THE LOWEST FORM OF SOCIAL DISCOURSE. 606 00:24:24,934 --> 00:24:28,137 JUST GO--GO AWAY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 607 00:24:28,137 --> 00:24:29,739 WHAT'S EATING YOU, CHAMP? 608 00:24:29,739 --> 00:24:31,971 HOW ABOUT YOU-- YOU OWN MY SOUL? 609 00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,503 YOU WON'T LET ME TAKE ANY VACATIONS. 610 00:24:33,503 --> 00:24:37,076 I MEAN, THE CONTRACT YOU GAVE MY PARENTS JUST TURNED TO DUST! 611 00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:38,207 FORGET ABOUT THE CONTRACT. 612 00:24:38,207 --> 00:24:40,580 NO. NO, I WANT TO SEE IT. 613 00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:41,080 BUT WHY? 614 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,583 BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW MY RIGHTS. 615 00:24:43,583 --> 00:24:46,956 OH, THAT'S EASY. YOU DON'T HAVE ANY. 616 00:24:47,957 --> 00:24:49,959 [CAR HORN HONKS] 617 00:24:49,959 --> 00:24:52,121 GO AROUND! [HORN HONKS] 618 00:24:53,593 --> 00:24:55,665 Man: GO TO HELL, JERK! 619 00:24:55,665 --> 00:24:58,868 I'LL MEET YOU THERE, BRUCE! 620 00:24:58,868 --> 00:25:02,131 HEH. YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE THING ON HIS NECK? 621 00:25:02,131 --> 00:25:04,073 NOT A FRECKLE. 622 00:25:04,073 --> 00:25:05,204 OK... 623 00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:06,806 SO I'M--I'M A SLAVE. 624 00:25:06,806 --> 00:25:09,278 AND I CATCH ONE SOUL AFTER ANOTHER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 625 00:25:09,278 --> 00:25:11,641 NO DAYS OFF. NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO FOREVER. 626 00:25:11,641 --> 00:25:14,183 OH, SO THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT--INCENTIVE. 627 00:25:14,183 --> 00:25:16,285 YES. OH, I CAN DO THAT. 628 00:25:16,285 --> 00:25:18,848 I CAN MOTIVATE YOU 110%. 629 00:25:18,848 --> 00:25:19,689 [TIRES SQUEAL] 630 00:25:19,689 --> 00:25:23,723 WAIT, NO! WHAT-- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?! 631 00:25:33,733 --> 00:25:35,835 HEY! CAN I HELP YOU? 632 00:25:35,835 --> 00:25:37,837 NO. 633 00:25:37,837 --> 00:25:39,969 HI! CAN I HELP YOU? 634 00:25:39,969 --> 00:25:42,011 NO. 635 00:25:45,014 --> 00:25:48,317 HI, I'M ANDI. CAN I HELP YOU? 636 00:25:49,879 --> 00:25:51,150 YOU KNOW... 637 00:25:51,150 --> 00:25:53,623 I BET YOU CAN. 638 00:26:15,605 --> 00:26:17,607 [SIGHS] 639 00:26:23,012 --> 00:26:25,785 [SCOFFS] 640 00:26:25,785 --> 00:26:27,917 [GRUNTS] 641 00:26:27,917 --> 00:26:29,919 MAGIC SHOW STARTS IN 40 MINUTES. 642 00:26:29,919 --> 00:26:31,621 WE BETTER DEAL WITH TED. 643 00:26:31,621 --> 00:26:32,962 I GOT THE PERFECT PLAN. 644 00:26:32,962 --> 00:26:35,124 HEY, HEY. UH, TED. TED! 645 00:26:35,124 --> 00:26:35,895 KACZYNSKI! 646 00:26:35,895 --> 00:26:38,367 WE WERE WONDERING IF WE COULD TAKE AN EARLY LUNCH, 647 00:26:38,367 --> 00:26:39,168 IF THAT'S OK. 648 00:26:39,168 --> 00:26:41,030 WHY DO YOU NEED TO GET OFF WORK? 649 00:26:41,030 --> 00:26:41,931 I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, TED. 650 00:26:41,931 --> 00:26:46,235 DRYWELL IS HAVING A DRIVEWAY SEALANT SEMINAR AT LUNCH, TED, 651 00:26:46,235 --> 00:26:49,008 BASIC INFORMATION ON INSTALLATION, 652 00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:50,009 MAINTENANCE, WHAT HAVE YOU. 653 00:26:50,009 --> 00:26:52,011 AND I KNOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO BEEF UP 654 00:26:52,011 --> 00:26:54,043 THE DRIVEWAY SEALANT DEPARTMENT FOR QUITE SOME TIME, 655 00:26:54,043 --> 00:26:55,614 AS WELL AS OUR KNOWLEDGE OF DRIVEWAY SEALANTS, 656 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:59,719 SO WE THOUGHT WE'D GO OVER THERE AND BONE UP ON DRIVEWAY SEALANT. 657 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:00,349 THAT'S THAT. 658 00:27:00,349 --> 00:27:03,252 YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS? THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA. 659 00:27:03,252 --> 00:27:05,725 IT SOUND RESPONSIBLE. EFFICIENT, EVEN. 660 00:27:05,725 --> 00:27:06,656 YEAH! MM-HMM 661 00:27:06,656 --> 00:27:08,698 I TOLD YOU HE'D BE COOL WITH IT, RIGHT? 662 00:27:08,698 --> 00:27:09,699 GREAT, THANKS. 663 00:27:09,699 --> 00:27:12,301 ONLY IF I WAS A COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOT. 664 00:27:12,301 --> 00:27:14,804 HMM? 665 00:27:14,804 --> 00:27:16,005 AHEM. 666 00:27:16,005 --> 00:27:16,936 HMM. 667 00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:19,008 GUYS, SERIOUSLY. DRIVEWAY SEALANT? 668 00:27:19,008 --> 00:27:22,972 THINK I'M JUST GONNA LET YOU BLOW OFF WORK TO GO TO A MAGIC SHOW WITH ANDI? 669 00:27:22,972 --> 00:27:25,845 HEH! MAGIC SHOW. PLEASE! 670 00:27:25,845 --> 00:27:28,918 WAIT, WAIT! TED, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT A MAGIC SHOW WITH ANDI? 671 00:27:28,918 --> 00:27:29,819 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 672 00:27:29,819 --> 00:27:31,951 'CAUSE SOME GUY WAS IN HERE GIVING AWAY FREE TICKETS. 673 00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:34,383 WAS THIS GUY IN A SUIT, REALLY, REALLY TAN... 674 00:27:34,383 --> 00:27:38,387 YOU KNOW WHAT, SAM? I'M NOT REALLY IN THE HABIT OF CHECKING OTHER MEN OUT. 675 00:27:38,387 --> 00:27:40,790 UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW. 676 00:27:40,790 --> 00:27:42,061 HUH? OH, SORRY. HEH! 677 00:27:42,061 --> 00:27:45,935 I WAS SO BUSY CHECKING OUT YOUR ASS, I MISSED YOUR FUNNY JOKE. 678 00:27:45,935 --> 00:27:47,837 OK, COME ON, COME ON. LET'S GO. 679 00:27:47,837 --> 00:27:50,800 DID YOU WANT TO REPEAT IT, OR... 680 00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:55,975 WHOA, WHA-- WHY ARE WE RUNNING? 681 00:27:56,976 --> 00:27:59,779 THE DEVIL'S TRYING TO SET UP ANDI. LET'S GO. 682 00:27:59,779 --> 00:28:01,711 WAIT, WAIT! LET ME CATCH MY BREATH! 683 00:28:01,711 --> 00:28:03,682 SAM! RELAX. HE'LL BE BACK. 684 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,354 WHERE THE HELL'S THE BIRD? 685 00:28:05,354 --> 00:28:06,816 HE GOT OUT. 686 00:28:06,816 --> 00:28:08,087 [DOVE COOING] 687 00:28:08,087 --> 00:28:09,688 Sam: WHAT? HOW? 688 00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:10,089 WE WERE TALKING. 689 00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:13,923 ALL RIGHT, JUST CATCH THE BIRD AND MEET ME AT THE MAGIC SHOW. 690 00:28:13,923 --> 00:28:14,924 COME ON, WINSTON. 691 00:28:14,924 --> 00:28:16,996 COME TO DADDY. WE HAVE TO GO NOW. 692 00:28:16,996 --> 00:28:18,167 I'LL BRING HIM DOWN. 693 00:28:18,167 --> 00:28:21,901 I WILL CUT YOU WHERE YOU STAND. 694 00:28:24,133 --> 00:28:27,376 SO WHAT IS IT NOW, ROOF TAR CLASS? 695 00:28:27,376 --> 00:28:28,477 LOOK, TED... 696 00:28:28,477 --> 00:28:29,979 I'LL WORK THE WEEKEND SHIFT. 697 00:28:29,979 --> 00:28:32,081 I'LL WORK THE NEXT 4 WEEKEND SHIFTS! 698 00:28:32,081 --> 00:28:34,984 I'LL WORK NIGHTS! HELL, I'LL EVEN WORK THANKSGIVING! 699 00:28:34,984 --> 00:28:36,245 COME ON! SERIOUSLY, YOU'D... 700 00:28:36,245 --> 00:28:38,017 YOU'D GIVE UP ALL THAT? 701 00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:39,749 YES. NOW MOVE! 702 00:28:39,749 --> 00:28:41,921 OK THEN. 703 00:28:46,355 --> 00:28:48,798 TED IS GOOD. 704 00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:06,415 [WHISPERING] Hey, what are you doing? 705 00:29:06,415 --> 00:29:07,977 HEY, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG? 706 00:29:07,977 --> 00:29:09,018 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 707 00:29:09,018 --> 00:29:11,050 I GOT YOUR VOICEMAIL TO MEET YOU HERE. 708 00:29:11,050 --> 00:29:12,021 VOICEMAIL? IN MY VOICE? 709 00:29:12,021 --> 00:29:15,224 UM, YEAH? WHAT, YOU DON'T REMEMBER LEAVING IT? 710 00:29:15,224 --> 00:29:17,787 UH...THAT MESSAGE. YES, YES. 711 00:29:17,787 --> 00:29:20,329 I DO. UM, SORRY, I HAD A SMALL STROKE EARLIER. 712 00:29:20,329 --> 00:29:21,460 WE GOTTA GO. LET'S-- 713 00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:23,032 NO, NO! THIS IS KIND OF FUN. 714 00:29:23,032 --> 00:29:26,195 THIS--HE SUCKS! LET'S GO. 715 00:29:26,195 --> 00:29:29,038 HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME, ISN'T HE? 716 00:29:29,038 --> 00:29:31,470 MM-HMM. I SUCK. 717 00:29:31,470 --> 00:29:32,842 UM... 718 00:29:32,842 --> 00:29:34,073 WHY DON'T YOU COME UP ONSTAGE 719 00:29:34,073 --> 00:29:35,975 AND LET ME SHOW YOU SOME REAL MAGIC? 720 00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:39,208 I--I WOULD DO THAT, BUT WE WERE JUST LEAVING. 721 00:29:39,208 --> 00:29:43,152 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, COME ON, GIVE THIS GUY SOME ENCOURAGEMENT. 722 00:29:43,152 --> 00:29:44,413 NO, NO! SERIOUSLY, NO. 723 00:29:44,413 --> 00:29:46,415 ANDI, STOP LAUGHING. WE GOTTA GO. 724 00:29:46,415 --> 00:29:48,087 YOU'RE SUCH A CHICKEN. 725 00:29:48,087 --> 00:29:49,859 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL DO IT. 726 00:29:49,859 --> 00:29:50,860 NO! NO, YOU CAN'T. 727 00:29:50,860 --> 00:29:52,561 WHY NOT? IT'LL BE FUN. I'LL DO IT. 728 00:29:52,561 --> 00:29:56,065 BECAUSE... HE ASKED ME FIRST. 729 00:29:56,065 --> 00:29:58,497 RIGHT? OK. 730 00:30:00,830 --> 00:30:03,873 LET'S DO THIS. 731 00:30:16,015 --> 00:30:17,486 YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? 732 00:30:17,486 --> 00:30:18,147 UM... 733 00:30:18,147 --> 00:30:19,518 THIS ISN'T ENOUGH TO HOLD YOUR ATTENTION? 734 00:30:19,518 --> 00:30:23,252 UH, NO. MY FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO MEET ME HERE, 735 00:30:23,252 --> 00:30:25,394 SO I WAS... TOUCH IT. 736 00:30:25,394 --> 00:30:26,255 WHAT? 737 00:30:26,255 --> 00:30:29,328 TOUCH THE SWORD. TELL THEM IT'S REAL. 738 00:30:30,559 --> 00:30:32,001 I DON'T KNOW. 739 00:30:32,001 --> 00:30:33,832 SEEMS...COULD BE FAKE. 740 00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:36,135 HOLD IT. IT'S REAL. 741 00:30:36,135 --> 00:30:37,836 YEAH, THAT'S, UH... 742 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:42,241 THAT'S SOME PRETTY GOOD ACTION RIGHT THERE. YEAH. 743 00:30:42,241 --> 00:30:45,144 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LOOKS LIKE OUR VOLUNTEER'S 744 00:30:45,144 --> 00:30:46,916 CONTRACTED A CASE OF STAGE FRIGHT. 745 00:30:46,916 --> 00:30:49,448 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 746 00:30:52,451 --> 00:30:54,383 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 747 00:30:54,383 --> 00:30:57,256 GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD. 748 00:30:57,256 --> 00:31:00,359 YOU NEED IT, DON'T YOU? 749 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,491 YOU HAVE NO POWER WITHOUT IT. 750 00:31:02,491 --> 00:31:03,993 WHAT ARE YOU, A DEMON? 751 00:31:03,993 --> 00:31:06,435 NO, I'M JUST THE GUY SENDING YOU BACK TO HELL. 752 00:31:06,435 --> 00:31:10,139 JUST AS SOON AS MY FRIENDS SHOW UP. 753 00:31:10,139 --> 00:31:13,072 UH! I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU KILL ANYMORE PEOPLE! 754 00:31:13,072 --> 00:31:16,605 THOSE YOKELS OUT THERE GET WHAT THEY DESERVE. 755 00:31:16,605 --> 00:31:18,377 I GIVE THEM PURE MAGIC, 756 00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:21,110 AND THEY RESPOND LIKE A BUNCH OF SLACK-JAWED CATTLE. 757 00:31:21,110 --> 00:31:24,613 YEAH, WELL, MAYBE THEY RESPOND THAT WAY BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A TOTAL DICKWAD. 758 00:31:24,613 --> 00:31:27,156 YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WENT THROUGH IN HELL, 759 00:31:27,156 --> 00:31:30,089 WHAT I FEELS LIKE TO BE IMPALED ON A SWORD 760 00:31:30,089 --> 00:31:30,519 FOR DECADES ON END. 761 00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:34,363 YEAH, WELL, GET USED TO IT, BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING BACK. 762 00:31:35,164 --> 00:31:37,666 AAH! UNH! 763 00:31:37,666 --> 00:31:39,628 AAH! 764 00:31:42,101 --> 00:31:43,933 AAH! 765 00:31:43,933 --> 00:31:45,604 GAH! 766 00:31:45,604 --> 00:31:47,106 AAH! 767 00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:49,478 [GRUNTING] 768 00:31:53,382 --> 00:31:55,114 AAH! 769 00:32:19,238 --> 00:32:22,141 WHOA! 770 00:32:25,544 --> 00:32:28,577 AAH! [GRUNTING] 771 00:32:37,026 --> 00:32:39,989 OOH! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 772 00:32:50,439 --> 00:32:52,341 [GRUNTS] 773 00:32:58,007 --> 00:32:59,048 SAM! YOU ALL RIGHT? 774 00:32:59,048 --> 00:33:00,979 NO, NO! HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME! 775 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,212 GIVE ME THE VESSEL. GIVE ME THE VESSEL. 776 00:33:03,212 --> 00:33:04,083 Ben: HERE. 777 00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:06,085 Sock: WAVE IT AROUND! WAVE IT AROUND! 778 00:33:06,085 --> 00:33:08,157 [ALL TALKING AT ONCE] 779 00:33:08,157 --> 00:33:09,588 Sam: YOU STUPID BIRD, COME ON! 780 00:33:09,588 --> 00:33:11,120 COME ON! COME ON! GO, GO! 781 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:12,721 COME ON, WINSTON! GO, WINSTON! 782 00:33:12,721 --> 00:33:15,764 COME ON, COME ON. COME ON, WINSTON. 783 00:33:15,764 --> 00:33:17,266 IT'S SAD. SO STUPID, 784 00:33:17,266 --> 00:33:21,030 YOU CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT THE SIMPLEST OF TRICKS. 785 00:33:21,030 --> 00:33:22,000 HUH? TRICKS? 786 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,074 TRICKS. THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! 787 00:33:27,176 --> 00:33:30,109 SAM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SAM? 788 00:33:32,041 --> 00:33:34,783 UH, TA DA? 789 00:33:36,715 --> 00:33:39,318 [BIRD CALLING] 790 00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:43,092 WINSTON? 791 00:33:43,092 --> 00:33:44,553 [BIRD CALLING] 792 00:33:44,553 --> 00:33:46,095 [WINGS BEATING] 793 00:33:46,095 --> 00:33:47,256 [ALL SHOUTING] 794 00:33:47,256 --> 00:33:50,059 AAH! 795 00:34:04,313 --> 00:34:05,174 THAT, MY FRIEND... 796 00:34:05,174 --> 00:34:07,316 WAS SOME FINE HELL SUCKING. 797 00:34:07,316 --> 00:34:08,347 COME ON. 798 00:34:08,347 --> 00:34:10,279 WINSTON? WHA-- 799 00:34:10,279 --> 00:34:12,081 OH, MAN! 800 00:34:12,081 --> 00:34:13,422 [EXHALES] 801 00:34:13,422 --> 00:34:15,824 [SOCK LAUGHING] 802 00:34:15,824 --> 00:34:17,356 HA HA HA HA! 803 00:34:17,356 --> 00:34:18,687 AW. MAN. 804 00:34:18,687 --> 00:34:21,090 AW, THAT WAS AWESOME. 805 00:34:22,831 --> 00:34:25,234 Sock: MM-MMM. 806 00:34:25,234 --> 00:34:27,065 HI, GLADYS. 807 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,368 YOU ARE LOOKING... [GRUNTS] TODAY! 808 00:34:29,368 --> 00:34:32,401 PLACE THE VESSEL ON THE MAT. 809 00:34:32,401 --> 00:34:34,303 WHOA. IT'S GONNA BE KIND OF DIFFICULT 810 00:34:34,303 --> 00:34:37,476 WITH ALL THAT SEXUAL TENSION PUSHING BACK. 811 00:34:38,307 --> 00:34:40,679 YOU READY? 812 00:34:42,211 --> 00:34:43,282 YEAH. 813 00:34:43,282 --> 00:34:45,554 OH, I--CAN I HAVE A MOMENT? 814 00:34:45,554 --> 00:34:48,086 YEAH. YEAH. 815 00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:50,819 WINSTON... 816 00:34:52,261 --> 00:34:54,423 YOU'RE ONE FREAKY ASS BIRD 817 00:34:54,423 --> 00:34:55,724 WHO SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME, 818 00:34:55,724 --> 00:34:59,428 AND NOW I CAN'T BE COMFORTABLE AROUND BIRDS EVER AGAIN. 819 00:34:59,428 --> 00:35:02,171 I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT. 820 00:35:04,673 --> 00:35:05,874 OK. 821 00:35:05,874 --> 00:35:06,635 ALL RIGHT. 822 00:35:06,635 --> 00:35:08,807 COOL. IT'S COOL. 823 00:35:08,807 --> 00:35:10,779 OK. 824 00:35:10,779 --> 00:35:12,281 THANK YOU, GLADYS. 825 00:35:12,281 --> 00:35:13,682 OH, I'M SORRY. 826 00:35:13,682 --> 00:35:15,714 THESE ARE HIS FAVORITE. 827 00:35:15,714 --> 00:35:18,417 OK, NOW I'M DONE. 828 00:35:27,826 --> 00:35:30,499 Andi: SO WHAT DID HAPPEN TO YOU? 829 00:35:30,499 --> 00:35:33,232 YEAH, THAT WAS A HELL OF A MAGIC TRICK. 830 00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:34,803 HE MADE YOU BOTH DISAPPEAR. 831 00:35:34,803 --> 00:35:37,406 WHY DID YOU RUN OFF THE STAGE? 832 00:35:37,406 --> 00:35:39,438 YEAH, I, UM... 833 00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:41,310 I ATE A BAD HOTDOG, SO-- 834 00:35:41,310 --> 00:35:43,572 OOH. YEAH, WELL... 835 00:35:43,572 --> 00:35:44,873 YOU BETTER MAN UP FOR THIS WEEKEND 836 00:35:44,873 --> 00:35:48,177 BECAUSE WE HAVE A LONG TRIP AND LIMITED BATHROOM STOPS. 837 00:35:48,177 --> 00:35:51,820 RIGHT, YES. UM, ABOUT THAT... 838 00:35:51,820 --> 00:35:54,653 I...I CAN'T GO. 839 00:35:54,653 --> 00:35:56,355 [SCOFFS] WHAT? 840 00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:58,156 ARE YOU THAT SICK? 841 00:35:58,156 --> 00:35:58,927 NO, NO, NO. 842 00:35:58,927 --> 00:36:00,189 UM...I'M WORKING. 843 00:36:00,189 --> 00:36:03,532 I TOLD TED THAT I'D WORK THE NEXT 4 WEEKEND SHIFTS. 844 00:36:03,532 --> 00:36:05,564 WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? 845 00:36:05,564 --> 00:36:08,437 I MEAN, YOU KNEW WE WERE GOING AWAY THIS WEEKEND. 846 00:36:08,437 --> 00:36:09,298 DON'T BE MAD. I-- 847 00:36:09,298 --> 00:36:12,441 NO, I'M NOT MAD. I'M JUST...I'M CONFUSED. 848 00:36:12,441 --> 00:36:13,902 I MEAN, IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO WITH ME, 849 00:36:13,902 --> 00:36:15,474 WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT, 850 00:36:15,474 --> 00:36:18,347 AND WHY SADDLE YOURSELF WITH WEEKEND SHIFTS? 851 00:36:19,648 --> 00:36:21,850 TH--THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. 852 00:36:21,850 --> 00:36:22,811 OK, THEN ANSWER IT. 853 00:36:22,811 --> 00:36:24,583 THAT I CAN'T-- I CAN'T ANSWER. 854 00:36:24,583 --> 00:36:26,184 IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN, ALL RIGHT? 855 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,787 I--I TRIED, BUT TED WOULDN'T LET ME. 856 00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:30,289 IT'S NOT THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO-- 857 00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:31,890 OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? I TAKE IT BACK. 858 00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:33,322 I AM MAD. 859 00:36:33,322 --> 00:36:33,962 WAIT, ANDI, HOLD ON! 860 00:36:33,962 --> 00:36:36,695 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE COULD'VE HAD A REALLY GREAT WEEKEND, SAM. 861 00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:40,599 AND THEN YOU HAD TO GET ALL CAUGHT UP IN YOUR HEAD AND MAKE IT WEIRD. 862 00:36:40,599 --> 00:36:41,870 NO! I DON'T THINK IT'S WEIRD. 863 00:36:41,870 --> 00:36:43,972 IT'S THE OPPOSITE. IT'S NOT WEIRD. 864 00:36:43,972 --> 00:36:45,374 YES, IT FEELS WEIRD. 865 00:36:45,374 --> 00:36:47,576 LISTEN, YOU'RE LIKE MY BEST FRIEND, OK? 866 00:36:47,576 --> 00:36:50,379 I REALLY DON'T WANT THINGS TO CHANGE. 867 00:36:50,379 --> 00:36:51,640 AND THEY WON'T! 868 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,782 WE--WE'RE--WE ARE FRIENDS. 869 00:36:53,782 --> 00:36:54,243 YEAH. 870 00:36:54,243 --> 00:36:58,487 JUST FRIENDS THAT CAN'T SPEND TIME ALONE TOGETHER, HUH? 871 00:36:58,947 --> 00:37:00,289 NEVER MIND. 872 00:37:00,289 --> 00:37:01,219 NEVER MIND. 873 00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:04,893 LISTEN, I'LL BRING YOU BACK A PROGRAM, OK? 874 00:37:07,696 --> 00:37:09,958 [SIGHS] 875 00:37:16,435 --> 00:37:18,267 AH, DRINKING ALONE. 876 00:37:18,267 --> 00:37:20,469 THAT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE. 877 00:37:20,469 --> 00:37:21,239 HEH HEH. 878 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:22,641 I DON'T HAVE MUCH ELSE TO DO. 879 00:37:22,641 --> 00:37:26,575 AH. I'LL HAVE A CRANBERRY AND SODA, MY GOOD WOMAN. 880 00:37:26,575 --> 00:37:29,017 OH, I NEVER DRINK WHILE I WORK. 881 00:37:29,017 --> 00:37:30,018 CLOUDS THE MIND. 882 00:37:30,018 --> 00:37:33,652 MAYBE IF YOU DRANK, YOU'D BE LESS OF A DICK. 883 00:37:33,652 --> 00:37:35,954 HMM, YEAH. 884 00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:37,986 HEH HEH! OH, BUDDY. 885 00:37:37,986 --> 00:37:40,889 YOU'VE WORKED HARD, SACRIFICED. 886 00:37:40,889 --> 00:37:43,932 I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. 887 00:37:45,894 --> 00:37:47,296 YOU KNOW WHAT? 888 00:37:47,296 --> 00:37:48,967 YOU CAN TAKE THE WEEKEND OFF. 889 00:37:48,967 --> 00:37:50,669 GO TO YOUR LITTLE CONCERT. 890 00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:53,001 DROP SOME ECSTASY, WHATEVER YOU WANT. 891 00:37:53,001 --> 00:37:54,573 I WORK THIS WEEKEND. 892 00:37:54,573 --> 00:37:57,946 I WORK THE NEXT 4 WEEKENDS BECAUSE OF YOU. 893 00:37:57,946 --> 00:37:59,007 WHAT DID I DO? 894 00:37:59,007 --> 00:38:00,749 YOU PUT ANDI IN DANGER. 895 00:38:00,749 --> 00:38:02,411 OH. 896 00:38:02,411 --> 00:38:05,784 YEAH, RIGHT. I DID, DIDN'T I? 897 00:38:06,415 --> 00:38:08,957 [SIGHS] 898 00:38:08,957 --> 00:38:10,559 [EXHALES] 899 00:38:10,559 --> 00:38:12,691 WELL, THIS REALLY SUCKS. 900 00:38:12,691 --> 00:38:14,663 CAN'T GO ON YOUR TRIP. 901 00:38:14,663 --> 00:38:16,064 YOU DON'T GET THE GIRL. 902 00:38:16,064 --> 00:38:19,328 YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU FEEL BAD FOR ME? WHAT? 903 00:38:19,328 --> 00:38:20,799 I DO! NO, YOU DON'T. 904 00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:22,771 I DO, I DO. I FEEL TERRIBLE. 905 00:38:22,771 --> 00:38:25,003 I FEEL CRAPPY. I FEEL AWFUL. 906 00:38:25,003 --> 00:38:25,504 [SCOFFS] 907 00:38:25,504 --> 00:38:30,509 YOU SURE THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU? 908 00:38:32,941 --> 00:38:34,543 I WANT THE CONTRACT. 909 00:38:34,543 --> 00:38:37,846 WHAT DO YOU HAVE? A DEATH WISH? 910 00:38:37,846 --> 00:38:40,489 WELL, I REALIZED IF ANYTHING'S GONNA KILL ME, 911 00:38:40,489 --> 00:38:44,653 IT'S GONNA BE SOME PSYCHO ESCAPED SOUL FROM HELL, NOT YOU. 912 00:38:44,653 --> 00:38:48,897 BECAUSE...YOU NEED ME. 913 00:38:49,928 --> 00:38:53,862 AND I-- I NEED THAT CONTRACT. 914 00:38:58,036 --> 00:38:59,037 HEH HEH! 915 00:38:59,037 --> 00:39:02,371 SEE, WHAT IS IT ABOUT YOU, SAMMY? 916 00:39:02,371 --> 00:39:05,043 HUH? I JUST CAN'T SAY NO. 917 00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:08,677 ALL RIGHT, I'LL TALK TO THE GUYS DOWNSTAIRS 918 00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:10,879 AND SEE IF THEY CAN DIG UP A DRAFT, ALL RIGHT? 919 00:39:10,879 --> 00:39:15,454 FILING SYSTEM IN THE ABYSS IS SHABBY, AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT, 920 00:39:15,454 --> 00:39:18,056 BUT I'LL PUT IN A REQUEST. 921 00:39:18,056 --> 00:39:20,058 OK? FAIR ENOUGH? 922 00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:21,930 YES. THANK YOU. 923 00:39:21,930 --> 00:39:23,862 YEAH, WELL... 924 00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,363 AHEM. WHAT THE HECK. 925 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:28,096 I'LL HAVE WHAT HE'S HAVING. 926 00:39:28,096 --> 00:39:30,969 YOU KNOW THE ONE BRIGHT SIDE OF ALL THIS? 927 00:39:30,969 --> 00:39:33,802 NOW YOU KNOW THAT ANDI'S INTO YOU. 928 00:39:33,802 --> 00:39:35,904 NO, SHE ALMOST BIT MY HEAD OFF. 929 00:39:35,904 --> 00:39:36,475 EXACTLY. 930 00:39:36,475 --> 00:39:40,108 THE LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH, METHINKS. 931 00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:41,910 THANKS. 932 00:39:41,910 --> 00:39:44,553 DO YOU-- DO YOU REALLY THINK SO? 933 00:39:44,553 --> 00:39:45,514 TRUST ME, BUDDY. 934 00:39:45,514 --> 00:39:49,017 I DO KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT THE HUMAN ANIMAL.