1
00:00:02,872 --> 00:00:04,371
Previously on Young Sheldon... Arrested?

2
00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:05,851
Well, they're probably
gonna have to pay some fine,

3
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,746
and-and they're gonna need cash.

4
00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:09,052
What the hell?

5
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,619
What are you doing here?

6
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:12,229
I'm saving you.

7
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,839
Well, damn.

8
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,537
Look, you're just a kid, okay?

9
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,307
You don't understand
what's going on here.

10
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:19,691
I know my mom lost her job
and got kicked out of the church

11
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,499
because you won't
marry my brother.

12
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:22,630
Where you going?

13
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:23,936
To dance.

14
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,479
I didn't think
you Baptists did that.

15
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,592
We don't drink, neither. Ooh.

16
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,855
The kids asleep? Yup.

17
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,467
You want to... fool around?

18
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,338
Are you messing with me?

19
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,036
I'm hoping to.

20
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,168
Well, hot diggity dog.

21
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,999
Hey.

22
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,609
Oh, thanks for coming.

23
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,611
Sounded important.
What's going on?

24
00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:49,440
Walk with me.Okay.

25
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,442
You know that money I owe you?

26
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,444
Oh, you got it?

27
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,490
Yes and no.

28
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,274
Uh, well, which is it?

29
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,059
Yes, I got it,

30
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:00,669
no, I'm not giving it to you.

31
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,063
I want to give you

32
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,935
a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.

33
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,372
Well, I'd prefer my money.

34
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:11,375
Do you see
any unoccupied machines here?

35
00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:13,856
No.Exactly.

36
00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:16,989
We are at capacity.
It's time to expand.

37
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,817
Where?

38
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:21,777
The video store
right behind that wall

39
00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:24,258
just lost its lease.

40
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,738
Aw, heck. I was gonna
pick up the new John Candy.

41
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:30,133
Well, as my partner
in this enterprise,

42
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:33,136
you can get that new
John Candy for free.

43
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,486
So you're gonna
buy a video store?

44
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,662
Video store in the front,

45
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:41,188
video poker in the back.

46
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,928
Where are you getting
the poker machine?

47
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:46,062
Biloxi, Mississippi.Oh. You didn't
learn a lesson

48
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,238
when you got arrested
at the border? Yes.

49
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,935
I learned not
to smuggle contraband

50
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,937
with my idiot grandson.

51
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:55,724
But there's nothing illegal
about buying poker machines.

52
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:56,942
Till you plug 'em in.

53
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,944
Well, sure.

54
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,686
Come on. What do you say?

55
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:05,647
You and me, a panel truck,
Biloxi or bust?

56
00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:09,259
So I'm gonna be your partner
in an illegal gambling room?

57
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,305
Hidden by a legal video store.

58
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:14,612
Connie. Gee... Come on. You said
you want to drive around

59
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,353
in an RV, see the country.

60
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:18,573
This is that, but exciting.

61
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:19,965
We could go to jail.

62
00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:22,881
That's the exciting part.

63
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,553
Hello, Mom.

64
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:43,684
It's your son, Sheldon.

65
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:44,772
Hello, my son, Sheldon.

66
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,122
I have an 8:00 a.m.

67
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:47,993
class tomorrow,
and I was wondering

68
00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,710
if I could spend the night
in my dorm. That's fine.

69
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,258
Now before you answer,
hear me out.

70
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,308
I have a list of reasons
why this is a good idea.

71
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:54,739
Number one... Sheldon,

72
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,611
I know that you're safe there.
It's fine.

73
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:57,612
That's reason number four.
Please don't skip ahead.

74
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,570
Honey,

75
00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:02,747
I trust you. Just go to bed
at a reasonable hour

76
00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,271
and call if you need anything.

77
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,681
Otherwise,
I'll see you tomorrow.

78
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,099
Okay. Number one: I'm not...

79
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,014
Goodbye, Sheldon.

80
00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:12,148
Who hangs up on a list?

81
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,802
What's his problem now?

82
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:16,152
Nothing. He wants to spend
the night at the dorm

83
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,198
so he can get to an early class.

84
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,504
Really? And you said okay?

85
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,289
He is old enough

86
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:25,770
to have an overnighter, and...

87
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,425
it might be nice for us
to have a little alone time.

88
00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,340
Ooh. What about Missy?

89
00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:31,791
She's having dinner
with a friend.

90
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:34,344
So, the house to ourselves.

91
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,606
I like it.

92
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,913
Hold on.

93
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,697
Hello? SHELDON: Number two...

94
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,482
I have my own bathroom.
Number...

95
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:44,006
Boy, that's a lot of plates.

96
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,182
What do you want, Georgie?
I just talked to Meemaw.

97
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,160
She says she's gonna be out
of town for a couple days.

98
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,184
Yup, she told me.

99
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,796
Patty melt.
Good choice.

100
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,494
Okay. Enjoy.

101
00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,800
I'm just worried about you
being all by yourself

102
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,211
in that big house.
I'll be fine.

103
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,021
What if there's a tornado?

104
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:00,738
Did Meemaw ever show you
where her hidey hole is?

105
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,330
Georgie, I'm really busy
right now.Sorry.

106
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,897
I'll swing by Meemaw's later,
maybe bring some takeout.

107
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,068
Don't bother. They send me home
with plenty of food.

108
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,988
Great. Score me
a patty melt, would you?

109
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,382
I won't.I'm gonna go now.

110
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:15,646
What are you doing? Kissing our baby.

111
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,169
You want one, too?

112
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,170
No.

113
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,695
Bye-bye.

114
00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:23,088
I'm home.

115
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,658
Anybody here?

116
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:30,052
Missy? Yeah.

117
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,880
You're home early.

118
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,708
It's 7:00.

119
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,666
Is it?

120
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,668
Are you sleeping?

121
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,061
Yeah.

122
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,323
Where's Dad?

123
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,152
I'm here.

124
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,458
Ugh.

125
00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,330
We were both just real tired.

126
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,854
Please stop talking.

127
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,169
What on earth is going on?

128
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,521
Aah!
No skateboarding in the hallway.

129
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,306
Aah!

130
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:10,005
This childishness cannot
be allowed to continue.

131
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,790
Hello. I need to tattle.

132
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,446
What?

133
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,405
Is your room on fire?

134
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,276
No.

135
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,538
But I see smoke.

136
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,410
Okay.

137
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,455
You need to know
there's people skateboarding

138
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,106
and playing loud music
in the hallways.

139
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,633
What do you want me
to do about it?

140
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,069
You're the resident advisor.

141
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,220
It's your job
to enforce the rules.

142
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:34,769
I'll get right on it.

143
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,379
Thank you.

144
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:41,123
The system works.

145
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,347
Ugh.

146
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:50,698
Oh, I'm gonna be
so cranky tomorrow.

147
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,400
So, how'd you hear
about these poker machines?

148
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:58,749
I know a guy.

149
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,272
What kind of guy?

150
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,666
A guy who knows a guy.

151
00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,929
Well, what do you know
about that guy?

152
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,975
He owned a riverboat casino.

153
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,455
He owned?

154
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:09,673
He might be dead.

155
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:11,240
Dead?

156
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,589
He might not be.

157
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,895
They never found the body.

158
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,766
Oh, my God.

159
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,507
Exciting, huh? No.

160
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,988
It's upsetting. Oh, now, come on.

161
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,382
You've been in the sporting
goods business long enough.

162
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,427
Haven't you ever sold
a bunch of shoulder pads

163
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:25,878
that fell off
the back of a truck?

164
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,387
Absolutely not.

165
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,954
I buy 'em from a reputable
company named Tuffy.

166
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,434
Boring.

167
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,706
I smell your shampoo.

168
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,186
Aw, damn it.

169
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,493
How long have you been
sitting out there?

170
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,495
All night. And why?

171
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,431
Are you familiar with Arkham
Asylum from the Batman comics?

172
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,761
No.Well, it's a madhouse,

173
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,850
as is my dormitory
after the sun goes down.

174
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,820
Sheldon, I am the president
of this university.

175
00:06:57,939 --> 00:06:59,636
I don't handle noise complaints.

176
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,638
That's why
there's a resident advisor.

177
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:04,162
Oh, I went to him. And?

178
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,618
You saw me sleeping
on the bench like a hobo.

179
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,082
What do you think? Can't you just...

180
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:08,950
I don't know... chalk this up as

181
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,604
part of the college experience?

182
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,606
Yeah, the clown college
experience.

183
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,366
I'm sorry. I'm cranky.

184
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,261
I've compiled a list of reasons

185
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:19,221
why I should be appointed
the dormitory R.A.

186
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:21,005
Number one... Fine. You're the R.A.

187
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,747
Okay. "Number one:
I love rules..."

188
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,270
"Creating them, following them,

189
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,881
and most fun of all,
enforcing them."

190
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,230
You're the R.A., Sheldon.

191
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,145
Excellent.
"Number two... punishment

192
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,408
for rule infractions must be
both fair and merciless."

193
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,374
Hmm.Ooh. Eggs and pancakes.

194
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:46,117
That's what a lumberjack gets
for chopping all that wood.

195
00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:48,076
I'll be Paul Bunyan,

196
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:50,600
you can be my babe,
the blue fox.

197
00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:53,081
George.

198
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,213
Ugh. Still?

199
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,432
Morning, honey.

200
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:57,803
What is happening with you two?

201
00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,087
What do you mean?

202
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,480
Is one of you dying?

203
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,612
No one's dying.

204
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,266
Sometimes, married people kiss.

205
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,573
On TV maybe, not here.

206
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:10,620
Well, young lady, how do you
think you came into this world?

207
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,754
Okay, you're freaking me out.

208
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:20,674
Here you go, as advertised.

209
00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:26,027
All right.
Those look good.

210
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,682
Wait. Hold on.
How do we know they work?

211
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:31,554
What kind of operation
you think I'm running here?

212
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,905
Well, I don't know. The word
"sketchy" comes to mind.

213
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,211
Be cool.

214
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,866
Uh, you mind
if we plug a couple in?

215
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,650
Mind if you show me the money?

216
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,957
Sure. Turn around.

217
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,175
Why?

218
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,264
You want the money or not?

219
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,832
Okay, go ahead.

220
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:51,008
Yeah.

221
00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,324
Okay.

222
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,805
20 grand.

223
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,371
Light 'em up.

224
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,949
That's the sexiest thing
I've ever seen in my life.

225
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,038
Really?

226
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:23,519
Well, I just took my pants off.

227
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,541
Attention, residents of Bower Hall.

228
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,350
My name is Sheldon Cooper,
and I'm your new R.A.

229
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,265
The age of chaos is over.

230
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,677
I repeat, the age
of chaos is over.

231
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,137
Please take a moment

232
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:34,854
to familiarize yourself
with the dormitory rules

233
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,793
posted on the bulletin board.

234
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:40,492
Ignorance of these rules is no
excuse, and violators will be...

235
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:48,239
New rule. Unauthorized use
of my bullhorn is forbidden.

236
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:51,112
- I repeat. Unauthorized...
- Shut up.

237
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,637
Anybody home?

238
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:57,292
Oh, good. You're here.

239
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,163
Hey.

240
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,174
Check it out. I got this video
about childbirth.

241
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,609
I thought
we could watch it tonight.

242
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,081
That sounds awful.

243
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,475
Well, it does say
"contains graphic images"

244
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,172
right there on the box.

245
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,435
Maybe some other time, Georgie.

246
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,699
No worries. I also picked up
Look Who's Talking,

247
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:15,179
which is just about a baby
who says stuff.

248
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,201
If you're trying to make this,
like, a date night

249
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,053
or something,
it's not happening.

250
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,794
Oh, who said anything
about a date?

251
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,361
It's just us having dinner
and watching a movie.

252
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,581
Last time we did that
I wound up pregnant.

253
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,931
Mm, that was a good date.

254
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:30,194
Well, that's not
happening tonight.

255
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,892
I get it. Nothing romantic.

256
00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:34,329
Just two future parents watching
the miracle of childbirth

257
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,767
or a movie that got two
thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert.

258
00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,334
And not only that.

259
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:40,988
Then someone
defaced my rule sheet

260
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,598
with a drawing of testicles.

261
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,341
Well, that is so immature.

262
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,604
I agree. Simply naming me
dorm R.A. isn't enough

263
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,127
to command respect.

264
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,955
I need a physical symbol
of my authority,

265
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,435
like the way a king
had a scepter.

266
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,306
So, you want a scepter?

267
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,526
No, that could be used
against me.

268
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,832
Ooh, how about a badge?

269
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,268
I'd be like a Texas Ranger

270
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:01,965
who patrols the halls
of a dormitory.

271
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,925
Well, these all just
such terrific ideas but,

272
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:07,667
um, how about an official letter
from my desk

273
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:11,061
with a handwritten note
attesting to your position?

274
00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:15,631
All right.
"To the students of Bower Hall."

275
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,111
That's your handwriting?

276
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,940
"This document

277
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:24,379
"bestows on Sheldon Cooper
all the powers

278
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,686
and privileges
of resident advisor."

279
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,122
"Bestows." I like it.

280
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,214
Sloppy, but I like it.

281
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,093
Nope.

282
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,619
Well, I got to tell you,

283
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,187
that was pretty exciting.Mm. I told you.

284
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,276
For a while there,
I felt like Bonnie and Clyde,

285
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,278
without all the murder
and mayhem.

286
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,890
Well, the night's still young.

287
00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:02,025
So at the risk of sounding
more like Bonnie than Clyde, uh,

288
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,419
where do we stand
in our relationship?

289
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:07,030
You're the one
who broke up with me.

290
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:10,642
Oh, maybe
I've rethought the situation.

291
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:12,383
So you were wrong.

292
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:16,039
I don't believe
there's any right or wrong here.

293
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:19,086
Say it. Say you were wrong.

294
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,697
I do regret it.

295
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,439
Because... you were...

296
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,180
wrong.

297
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:28,530
Yes.

298
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,205
So what do you say... you want
to give it another chance?

299
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:33,448
Hang on.

300
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:34,818
Just give me a straight answer.

301
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,756
I'm a big boy.
I can take it.

302
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,366
I think we're being followed.

303
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,150
What?

304
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,543
No.

305
00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,545
The pickup truck?

306
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:44,894
The orange Pinto.

307
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,504
I saw it when we gassed up.

308
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,071
It's been two cars back
ever since.

309
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:50,552
I'm gonna speed up
and see what happens.

310
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:54,077
We're being followed.

311
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,383
Are you still excited?

312
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:56,906
No, I'm upset.

313
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,037
Good.

314
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,866
Then we're on the same page.

315
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,398
Open up. It's the R.A.

316
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,053
Yeah?

317
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,103
It's quiet hours.
You have to turn the music off.

318
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:16,970
Says who? Me, the R.A.

319
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,774
You probably didn't hear me
over the music.

320
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:23,237
Maybe this will convince you.

321
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:24,687
Her cursive is
maybe questionable,

322
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:26,414
but trust me,
my authority is not.

323
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,857
Joke's on you.
I have Scotch tape.

324
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,687
I don't see him anywhere.
Do you?

325
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,081
Nope. Oh, man.

326
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,344
Well, now that
that's over, I'm starting

327
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,172
to feel the excitement again.

328
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,262
Crazy, right? I think
that's the way danger works.

329
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,916
Oh, it's like a roller coaster.

330
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,613
Well,

331
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:54,529
ain't this a coincidence.

332
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,096
Oh, come on.

333
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,101
What's up? Mom and Dad are being weird.

334
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,450
Can I hang out here?

335
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:03,930
Actually, ain't a good time.

336
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,235
Come on in, Missy.

337
00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,499
Dang it.

338
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,110
Sucker.

339
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,111
Good.

340
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:12,590
Ooh, Look Who's Talking.

341
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,854
Classic. Hey, did you know

342
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,681
the baby is the guy
from Die Hard?

343
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,988
No.Yeah.

344
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,381
He can do everything.

345
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,511
I was sitting there.

346
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:22,992
Yeah, well, now you're not.

347
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,361
I'm being nothing but nice here.

348
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,797
I don't know why
you got to give me a hard time.

349
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:28,215
Why? I'll tell you why.

350
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:30,870
You ruined my life.
Is that enough "why" for you?

351
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,523
Hey, you weren't so innocent.

352
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:34,699
If I recall, you provided
alcohol to a minor... me.

353
00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:36,092
That's illegal.

354
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,703
You lied about your age. You lied first.

355
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,943
Okay, you know what? Let's not
do this in front of your sister.

356
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:43,230
It actually feels normal.
Keep going.

357
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,797
And let's not forget, I only
lied 'cause you're hot.

358
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,017
Oh, my God.
We don't need

359
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,628
to watch a movie
about a talking baby.

360
00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,020
You're right here.

361
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,086
Ooh, lock the door,
lock the door.

362
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,504
No one's home. Just in case.

363
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,075
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.Mmm. Mmm.

364
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:05,687
I have a wild and crazy idea. Ooh,

365
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,254
I like where this is headed.

366
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:10,257
Let's make a baby.

367
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,955
You're kidding, right?

368
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:16,916
I don't know. It might
be fun to start over.

369
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,614
Fun?
What house you been living in?

370
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:23,400
I'm serious. We've been
getting along so great,

371
00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:26,708
and I have all this
extra time on my hands.

372
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,753
Uh, let's take advantage.

373
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:31,297
Your son's about to have a baby.
You can take care of that one.

374
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,757
No, my mother called dibs.

375
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:34,759
Your mother's
a million years old.

376
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:36,215
You think she's gonna be
changing diapers

377
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,980
in the middle of the night?

378
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:39,547
I'll tell you
what your problem is.

379
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:40,828
You got kicked out
of your church,

380
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,854
your-your kids are grown up,

381
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,900
you're feeling sorry
for yourself, and,

382
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,207
yeah, you think
a baby'll solve the problem.

383
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,385
Well? Say something.

384
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:54,214
You make me so mad.

385
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,565
Where you going?

386
00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,741
We can still do it mad.

387
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:03,223
So what do you want, uh...

388
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,574
Dennis.Right.

389
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:09,403
Dennis. Tough name.

390
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:12,667
So what do you want... Dennis?

391
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:16,801
Couldn't help noticing you got
Texas plates on that truck.

392
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:20,936
Operating poker machines
ain't legal in Texas.

393
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,720
So what are you, a cop?

394
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:26,072
No, no, I'm just a guy who might
call the cops, you know,

395
00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:29,162
if we don't come
to an arrangement.

396
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,598
Can I take your order?

397
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,252
Thank you, honey.

398
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,230
You know, I got a hankering
for chicken fried steak.

399
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:37,735
Gravy on top,
but only if it's cream gravy.

400
00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:42,131
And the mashed potatoes with
more cream and gravy on top.

401
00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:45,134
And, uh, ice tea when you can.

402
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,484
No gravy on that.

403
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,617
And how about for you two?

404
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:52,707
I'm gonna use your restroom.

405
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:55,144
He knows what I like.

406
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,277
You're leaving? Uh-huh.

407
00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:00,236
I got to tinkle.Uh.

408
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,196
Uh,

409
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:06,634
I guess I'll have the waffles,

410
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,637
and the lady will have, um...

411
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,120
...also waffles.

412
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:18,254
So, what do you think?

413
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,985
Well, Dennis, I'm not
the guy to talk to.

414
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,651
Uh, why don't we wait
for the boss to finish tinkling?

415
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,831
But I do got to tell you,
this is my first shakedown.

416
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,833
Don't think of it like that.

417
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,183
It's just a
business arrangement.

418
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,533
Well, I've been a businessman
for 38 years,

419
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:39,232
and I don't think I've ever
been threatened before.

420
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,321
What kind of business you in?

421
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:47,066
Hello? Huh?

422
00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:49,807
What kind of business you in?

423
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,595
Groomer.Hmm.

424
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,336
Dog groomer, yeah.

425
00:17:56,466 --> 00:18:01,297
Cats if you make me, but
I pretty much love the doggies.

426
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:02,603
You ever do birds?

427
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,388
No. Mm-hmm.
Birds got feathers,

428
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,304
and they're... they're
self-grooming, pretty much.

429
00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:10,915
Yeah, I always thought
cats were self-grooming.

430
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:14,223
Well, people think that,
but, no. No, you got to...

431
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,617
You got to dip a cat
once in a while.

432
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,924
Well, okay then.

433
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,318
Where are you going?

434
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:25,147
Dennis, I am really sorry
about this.

435
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:39,292
May I help you?

436
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:40,467
There's no hot water.

437
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,077
There is for rule followers.

438
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,489
You can't just turn off
the hot water.

439
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:44,688
Yeah.Yeah.

440
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,275
If you want the benefits
of civilization,

441
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:47,624
you have to behave
in a civilized manner.

442
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,258
The decision is yours.

443
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,828
I don't need a pen and paper
to take names.

444
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,918
You. What's your name?

445
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,080
You know I'll find out
and there will be consequences.

446
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,357
Hey, what are you...

447
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,759
Captioning sponsored by CBS

448
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:14,762
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION

449
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,808
and TOYOTA.

450
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:20,898
Captioned by Media Access
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