1 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,447 - Hey, there, little Becky. Hey, Tiger. - Hi, Jimmy. 2 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,557 Hi, Mrs. Ross, Mr. Ross. How are you? 3 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,077 Deliveries in the back. 4 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,203 Excuse me? 5 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,812 You heard me. Deliveries in the back. 6 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,273 Why do you think I'm a messenger? 7 00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:10,547 No, no, no, really. Why do you just assume I'm a messenger? 8 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,633 Is it impossible for me to have a friend that lives here? 9 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,409 Would that be out of the question? 10 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:20,289 To have an old college chum that lives upstairs 11 00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:24,460 that I'm comin' by to see, just to talk about old times? 12 00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:26,795 To have a little cocoa? 13 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:28,547 Would that upset you? 14 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,526 What's wrong? I can't have no cocoa? 15 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,886 I don't look like I like cocoa? 16 00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:38,641 What's wrong with me just comin' here tryin' to have some cocoa? 17 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,226 I'm sorry, sir. I just, I... 18 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,287 Who did you come here to see? 19 00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,730 Nobody. Delivery for Charles Wellington. 20 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,441 Deliveries in the back. 21 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,488 - Look out! Look out! - What's up, man? 22 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,594 Welcome to amateur night at the Apollo. 23 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:58,661 Y'all ready for a show? 24 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,893 There's no way. 25 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,169 We're part of the same place. 26 00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:11,524 We're part of the same time. 27 00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,051 We both have the same blood. 28 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:15,737 Please stop! 29 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,281 We both have the same mind. 30 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,283 And time and time. 31 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,328 We've had so much to share. 32 00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,871 No, no, no, no 33 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,749 I'm not wakin' up tomorrow mornin' 34 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:32,528 And findin' that there's nobody there. 35 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:36,174 No, no, no, ho way. 36 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,867 No, no, no, ho way. 37 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:42,597 And you and you and you. 38 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:46,476 You're gonna love me. 39 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,003 Oh, yes, you are. 40 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,422 Thank you. 41 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,382 Peace. 42 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:54,967 I'm out of here. 43 00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:57,696 Let's hear it, Apollo, for Phil Quon. 44 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,739 - Congratulations, you killed. - Thanks, Booey. 45 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:01,574 Phil Quon. Show your love, Apollo. 46 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:02,951 They're not gonna boo me off, right, Whit? 47 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,143 Hey, did I say that? 48 00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,020 I mean, come on, anything could happen. 49 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:10,107 Yeah, anything could happen, like, they invent a new boo that's silent. 50 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,714 What? What? What are you looking at? 51 00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:19,033 This girl I met at the Shark Bar last night. I told her to come down. 52 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:23,013 Damn, she's skinny. Two of y'all have sex, you just might start a fire. 53 00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,432 All right, our next act is coming to the stage. He's a comedian. 54 00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:27,624 How about a hand for Mr. Lance Barton? 55 00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,461 Hey, what is that? What's with the hat? 56 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,938 What, you don't like the hat? 57 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,524 You look like you're gonna tie somebody to the railroad tracks. 58 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,775 Whitney, I need style. 59 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:39,195 Nobody wants to see Lance Barton, bike messenger from Bed-Stuy. 60 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,305 People want to see Lance Barton, comedian. 61 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,242 - What people? - Lance Barton people. 62 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,660 Lance Barton, everybody. 63 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,162 Come on. 64 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:48,455 - No boos. - No boos. 65 00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:50,606 - Here comes, Booey. - Let's get ready. 66 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,691 Lance Barton, everybody. 67 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,152 Don't touch me, man. 68 00:03:58,072 --> 00:04:00,175 Hey, what's up, Apollo? 69 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,034 Where'd you get that hat, man? 70 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,705 Yeah. Yeah, all right. 71 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,749 So... 72 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:13,646 How come every time a airplane crash, 73 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,256 all they can ever find is the black box? 74 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:20,135 Why don't they just make the whole plane out of the black box? 75 00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:22,989 Yeah. 76 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,408 I got roaches. Who here got roaches? 77 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,351 Everybody got roaches, man. It's Harlem. 78 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,039 Yeah. Yeah, everybody got roaches. 79 00:04:31,063 --> 00:04:32,540 Yeah, man. 80 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,918 I got some roaches in my house, man. 81 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:39,446 Roaches so big, one roach got drafted in the second round. 82 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,884 Get your ass offstage, Booey. That shit ain't funny. 83 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,344 Yeah. 84 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:45,577 Hey, you suck! 85 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:47,996 Come on. Hold it together. 86 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:53,127 I know this girl so ugly, she had to wear makeup on the radio. 87 00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,672 Boo! 88 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,153 No! 89 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,925 Hey, please! 90 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,117 Wait! 91 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,667 You out there with a new hat. You need a new act. 92 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:37,754 Well, if I'm so unfunny, I mean, how come you're still my manager? 93 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:41,568 Lance, you're funny offstage. 94 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:44,386 - But onstage, you're... - I'm what? 95 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:46,054 You're afraid. 96 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:49,742 See, you're afraid of being yourself, and they can tell. 97 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,935 Hey, kid, don't listen to the crowd. 98 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:55,623 You're one funny man. Phil Quon says so. 99 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:56,833 Thanks a lot. 100 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,710 Two more Rheingolds for my man Booey. 101 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,086 Well, you'd be afraid, too 102 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:03,840 if every time you played the Apollo, they booed you off the stage. 103 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:07,135 Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. 104 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:08,660 They shuttin' down the Apollo. 105 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,722 - Get out of here. - Yeah, they just told me. 106 00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:14,476 They're building a multiplex or quadruplex, or some kind of plex. 107 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:19,546 And they're gonna do a farewell show with five slots for amateurs. That's it. 108 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,525 Whitney, you've got to get me one of those slots. 109 00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,904 Lance, come on, man. Just let it go. 110 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,572 You try someplace else. 111 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,200 I don't wanna try someplace else. 112 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:33,435 As long as I'm Booey at the Apollo, I'm Booey everywhere. 113 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,313 Where you goin'? 114 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,274 I'm goin' to the Comic Strip to work on my material. 115 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,777 Get me that audition, Whitney. 116 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:44,821 Later, Booey. 117 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,784 Okay, Lance, where are you? 118 00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,539 Right on time. 119 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,853 I gotta work on my set. I gotta get my jokes together. 120 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:01,439 I gotta go back to the Apollo and not get booed. 121 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,715 I gotta work on my act. I gotta... 122 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,927 Oh, my God! 123 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,894 I hate this job. 124 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,774 Anybody get that license number? 125 00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,921 Where the hell am I? 126 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,697 We've been waiting for an eternity here. 127 00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:28,532 What? 128 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,556 - This ain't the Comic Strip. - Take it easy, people. 129 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:37,100 You'll be dead a long time. You don't have to push. 130 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,334 Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Excuse me. 131 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,604 Bob Krantz, heart attack. 132 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:42,796 Yeah. 133 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,592 Sid and Ethel Bugler. Our tour bus crashed. 134 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:48,635 Yep. 135 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,072 I'm Tina Lovette. 136 00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:54,057 - Mike said he'd put me on the list. - Yep. 137 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,579 - All right. Go ahead. - Thanks. 138 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,438 Tell Mike to stop putting girls on the list. 139 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,524 Lance! Lance Barton! 140 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,235 - What is this place? - This is Heaven. 141 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,904 Heaven. I've had this dream before. 142 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,592 Is Pac in there? Yo, tell Pac I'm here. 143 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:13,076 Hey, hey. I said no. Go to Hell. 144 00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:15,305 Mr. Barton? 145 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,515 - Where are you going? - I gotta wake up. I got an audition. 146 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,559 Now let me explain. You're not dreaming. 147 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,352 Excuse me. Do you know where the A train is? 148 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,419 Mr. Barton? 149 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:25,547 - Mr. Barton, here's the thing... - Keyes, what's the problem? 150 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:30,028 Mr. King. No problem, sir. I have everything under control. 151 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:34,056 Mr. Barton here was having a great time. 152 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,868 No, actually, I'm trying to wake myself up. 153 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:39,895 Well, I hate to break it to you, chum, but you're not dreaming. 154 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,439 You're dead. Capisce? 155 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,334 I'm not dead. 156 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,169 Lance, come here. 157 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:50,006 What you're feeling right now is totally normal. 158 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,176 For most people, dying is a real shock to the system. 159 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,910 But, baby, it's gonna get better. 160 00:08:56,328 --> 00:09:01,309 It's Heaven, baby. The food is great, the women are beautiful, 161 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:05,087 and the music, Lance, the music is hot. 162 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,524 Yes, sir, the fun never stops. 163 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,592 That's great, but I'm not dead. 164 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:14,656 Look, I got an audition coming up that I know I'm gonna make. 165 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:17,808 So you guys can just fix whatever mistake you made and get me home. 166 00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,393 Serge. 167 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:24,356 Could you check the list and see when Mr. Barton is arriving? 168 00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:27,109 Barton. Barton, Barton, Barton... 169 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:33,925 Due November 17th, 2044, 6:30 a.m. Eastern standard time. 170 00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,718 20447? 171 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,720 You know, you could've just given me the year. 172 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,454 Leave a brother a little doubt. 173 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,308 I took him one-tenth of a second before the truck hit. 174 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,102 I mean, he couldn't have made it. 175 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,937 What am I gonna do with you? 176 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:48,064 First, you make Frank Sinatra wait for a table. 177 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,357 He didn't have a jacket. 178 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:52,509 He's Frank Sinatra! He can wear whatever he wants! 179 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,511 - You killed me! You killed me! - Hey! Hey! 180 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,718 - You killed me! You killed me! - Hey! Hey! Come on. 181 00:09:57,556 --> 00:10:01,035 Now, Mr. King has been in charge up here for quite some time. 182 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,395 I don't think there's anything he can't handle. 183 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,332 So, you guys can fix this, right? 184 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,234 Lance, look, I pride myself on being a straight shooter. 185 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:12,672 If a guy's lived a bad life, I don't mince words. 186 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,489 I tell them to go to Hell, literally. 187 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,993 You, on the other hand, I like you. 188 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,346 You're what you call... You're very... 189 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,931 You're very... 190 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,891 Very, what's the word? Very... 191 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,251 - Funny? - No. You're spunky. 192 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,128 - Spunky? What the... - Spunky. 193 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,629 So here's the story. 194 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,048 Your body's gone. 195 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,052 But, I spoke to my boss. 196 00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:38,698 - You talked to God? - Yeah. 197 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:41,075 What we can do for you is put you in somebody else's body 198 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,769 as long as no one knows he's dead yet, okay? 199 00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:45,705 Wait a minute. 200 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,499 How am I supposed to do my act in somebody else's body? 201 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:52,402 Lance, look, this is all part of some, like, grand plan. 202 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,529 - Really? - Yeah, sure. 203 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,365 Anyway, come on. Let's go find you a body. 204 00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:18,654 This one's kind of like a fixer-upper. 205 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,805 I don't think so. 206 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,369 All right, how about this one? 207 00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,813 He's physically fit. He's got nice pecs. 208 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,499 Big's not funny. 209 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,108 Nobody wants to laugh at a guy who could whip their ass. 210 00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,003 Hey, it's your call. 211 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,421 - Hey, Joey. - Hello. 212 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,905 Hey, Joey, help me. I can't... 213 00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:44,204 He's perfect. 214 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,583 Picky, picky. Really picky. 215 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,613 Man! Who lives here? 216 00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:03,890 Charles Wellington, the 15th richest man in America. 217 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,244 He owns sporting teams, cable companies, 218 00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:08,329 health insurance companies, you name it. 219 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,623 Just finished building this high-tech luxury penthouse 220 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:12,083 controlled by supercomputers. 221 00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:14,484 So, if I don't like the body, can I keep the crib? 222 00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,404 Wait a... How'd you do that? 223 00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:19,906 I'm a friggin' angel. I can do whatever I want. 224 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,913 - What is it? - Cocktails, madam. 225 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,666 Oh, yes. Yes, of course. 226 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,143 Thank you, Wanda. 227 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,169 It's my pleasure, Mrs. Wellington. 228 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,509 - Is that the guy? - No. 229 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,405 That's Winston Sklar, Wellington's private secretary. 230 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,824 They're waiting for Wellington's body to be discovered. 231 00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:45,992 What are you talking about? 232 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,601 - They're trying to kill him. - What? 233 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,686 We gotta do something! 234 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,313 Thank you, Wanda. 235 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,796 "Thank you, Wanda." Who the hell she thinks she is? 236 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,798 The frigid, stuck-up bitch! 237 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,216 If you really want to thank me, 238 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,660 get that cheap-ass husband of yours to pay me a decent wage. 239 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,581 One more face-lift, that bitch gonna be fartin' out her nose. 240 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,833 Why haven't they found him yet? 241 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:16,087 I'm a murderer. I'm a dirty murderer. I should be punished. 242 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,343 Punish me. 243 00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,137 I'll punish you. 244 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:27,641 Lance. 245 00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,952 Call the cops. Call the cops. Call the cops. 246 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,163 - I was on vacation and that Wellington... - Call the cops. 247 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:33,897 Flew me in from North Carolina 248 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,583 - to change the channel on the TV. - Call the police. 249 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,233 Call the cops. Call the cops. 250 00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:40,171 911.911. 251 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:41,655 You're damn right I was mad! 252 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:44,824 I had tickets to go see the O'Jays. 253 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,680 Where's the phone? Where's the phone? 254 00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:50,848 No can do, Lance. 255 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,309 The phone company doesn't provide service to dead people. 256 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,686 You wanna make a call, get a body. 257 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,920 Well, find me another body. 258 00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:59,190 I don't want anything to do with these freaks. 259 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,651 You're doing your job, but I am here to see Mr. Wellington, 260 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:02,985 and I'm not leaving until I see him. 261 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,278 Well, allow me to speak to Mr. Wellington. 262 00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:06,429 Yes, you do your job and let him know that I'm here. 263 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,016 - Mr. Sklar, sir? - Yeah, Cisco? 264 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:14,580 It's Miss Jenkins again, sir. She insists on seeing Mr. Wellington. 265 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:18,149 I'm sorry to bust in like this. Well, actually I'm not. 266 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,152 That's her. That's the girl. 267 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,697 Hey, remember me? 268 00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:25,991 On the bike. 269 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,385 Run over? 270 00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:31,579 No, that's all right, Miss Jenkins. So, what can we do for you? 271 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,749 Well, I just wanted to say that I think that you should be arrested. 272 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:36,626 Holy crap. 273 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,105 What you're planning to do to the Brooklyn Community Hospital 274 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,213 is downright criminal. 275 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,566 So you mean that... 276 00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:46,428 You kind of throw those words around like that, "arrested." It kind of hit me. 277 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,722 That really. 278 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,701 I don't think there's anything funny about this. 279 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:54,161 I work at the Brooklyn Community Hospital. 280 00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,747 And it's the only public health facility in the area, 281 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,273 and your company just bought it. 282 00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,419 I know that hospital. My uncle went there for a new liver. 283 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:03,129 They sent his ass to the supermarket. 284 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,714 If this hospital goes private, 285 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:08,009 the people who depend on us, they won't have any place to turn. 286 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:11,137 That's awful. Well, I think you should take that up with Mr. Wellington 287 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,304 at his business office. 288 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,914 I've tried that. I've been there at least 20 times. 289 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:19,145 I've made 200 phone calls, and Mr. Wellington seems to never be in. 290 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,647 So I decided to visit him at his home. 291 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,548 Well, he's unavailable, I guarantee you. 292 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,718 If he's unavailable now, I'll just wait here until he is available. 293 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,303 I'm afraid you can't. 294 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,430 Yes, I can. 295 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,620 Would you like to call the police and have me arrested? 296 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,539 I'm sure the press'll be interested in the story. 297 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,773 - No. - No, no, no. 298 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,025 - Let's don't... Let's don't even... - I thought so. 299 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:46,154 Hey, King, if I take this Wellington guy's body, 300 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,531 could I help her out? 301 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,408 You got the hots for her, huh? 302 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,224 You tryin' to sell me a body, right? 303 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:54,746 Well, let's see it. 304 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:56,831 Okay. 305 00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,685 Would you stop it? 306 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,979 This ain't Star Trek. I'm used to walking. 307 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:04,339 Lance Barton, Charles Wellington. 308 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,806 Mr. Wellington, please, don't get up. 309 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,350 Damn, he's dead! 310 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,435 Yep. Nice bathtub. 311 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:21,874 So if I take his body, I'm gonna look like that, right? 312 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,375 Well, I can't go to the Apollo in that body. 313 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,252 How am I supposed to get laughs lookin' like him? 314 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,004 Come on, he looks funny to me. 315 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,255 I already get booed. 316 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,990 Do I really need to get beat down on top of it? 317 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,993 So you wanna meet the girl, you gotta take the body. 318 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:37,122 Any moment someone'll discover it, and it'll be too late. 319 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:40,166 Well, does it have to be for good? 320 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,877 Could I just be him while you find me a better body? 321 00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:44,379 You mean, take the body on loan? 322 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,484 Well, you know normally, I have a problem with that, 323 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,760 but since we screwed up... 324 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:52,679 It's a deal. 325 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,891 Mr. Wellington, there's a Miss Sontee Jenkins here to see you. 326 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,186 Still bathing, are we? 327 00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:03,952 We don't want our fingers to go all pruney. 328 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,367 Hey, it worked! 329 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,411 What? 330 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:20,039 - You weren't sure it would work? - Relax, I read the manual. 331 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:22,834 Hey, I still look like me. 332 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,338 - You are you. - I thought you said I was Wellington. 333 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,425 - You are Wellington. - Well, thanks for clearin' that up. 334 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,696 Look, Lance, to everyone else, 335 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,574 you look like Wellington, you sound like Wellington, 336 00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:38,057 you even smell like Wellington. 337 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,852 But you see yourself. 338 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:42,896 Simple, huh? 339 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,917 Mr. Wellington, is everything all right? 340 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,818 Go ahead. You can answer. Go ahead. 341 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:50,921 Everything is cool. 342 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,113 Not too cool, I hope. 343 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:54,365 No, everything is all right. 344 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,219 Now, when I go out there, 345 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,555 they're gonna see Wellington, not some brother in his clothes. 346 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,748 'Cause I don't feel like gettin' shot today. 347 00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,291 - You'll be all right. - All right. 348 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,218 So, you the butler? 349 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:18,598 Yes, sir. Me the butler. 350 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,810 So you do all the butler in' around here. 351 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,564 Yes, indeed, sir. 352 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:29,901 Whose butler are you? 353 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:32,654 Your butler, sir. 354 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,280 You're my butler. 355 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,426 Don't cheat on me, now. 356 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,994 If I see you butler in' for somebody else, I'm gonna kill him. 357 00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:44,707 And who am I? 358 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:46,501 You, sir? 359 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,296 You, Mr. Wellington? 360 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:51,798 Who am I? 361 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:53,901 Mr. Wellington. 362 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:56,862 You're damn right I'm Wellington. Yes! I got a body! 363 00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:59,430 I got a body! I got a body! 364 00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:01,349 You certainly have. 365 00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:03,076 Would you care to get dressed now, sir? 366 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,853 Go ahead, Lance, take that corpse for a spin. 367 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:09,691 So where does he keep... Where do I keep my clothes? 368 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,568 In the closet, sir. 369 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:16,656 I'm goin' to the closet. I got a body! I got a body! Let's go to the closet! 370 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,658 Let's do this! Peace out! 371 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,411 Yeah, I'm Wellington! 372 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:24,598 I'm Wellington, I'm Wellington. 373 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,350 - Good morning, Mr. Wellington. - Yeah. 374 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,601 You better recognize. 375 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,836 I know who you are, you cheap bastard. 376 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:33,315 Tiger Woods, y'all. Tiger Woods, y'all. 377 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,179 Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Woods, y'all. 378 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,178 Hey, Tiger Woods, y'all. 379 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,974 - Hi, darling. - I'll deal with you two later. 380 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:55,129 How ya doin'? I'm Charles Wellington, the 15th richest man in America. 381 00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:56,738 I know who you are. 382 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,175 Would you guys give us some privacy? 383 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,576 Yeah. Yeah. 384 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,307 You know, that looks uncomfortable. Could I help you out? 385 00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:07,975 No, I don't need your help. 386 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,560 You have been avoiding me for weeks, 387 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,979 and you're gonna listen to exactly what I have to say. 388 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,522 - Me? - I am talking about 389 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,524 people's lives here, Mr. Wellington. 390 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,443 Sick people, poor people. 391 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,278 The kind of people you care nothing about. 392 00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:20,446 Hey, but I'm just... 393 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,656 These people are going to be in desperate trouble 394 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,367 if you sell them out from the only place they can go when they need help. 395 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,436 See you later, Lance. I'll get Keyes workin' on a new body. 396 00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,372 - Good luck. - Hey, but... 397 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:31,540 But nothing! 398 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:34,484 Do you know that we are the only county hospital in that part of Brooklyn? 399 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,879 And you chose there of all places 400 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:40,424 to privatize and kick sick, broke people out on their behinds. 401 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,824 What kind of man are you? 402 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,035 It sounds like I'm an asshole. 403 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,929 You think this is a joke, don't you? 404 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,599 No, no, I do not think this is a joke. This is a joke. 405 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,666 A prostitute and a card dealer go... 406 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,354 - Forget. Forget it. - Well, you know what? 407 00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,647 I know all about your board of directors meeting on Monday. 408 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:56,815 Really? 409 00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,383 The one that's closed to the public. 410 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,152 I'm glad you told me. 411 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,488 Now I gotta get a haircut and maybe buy some gators. 412 00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:05,824 And you better get real serious by then, 'cause I'm gonna be there. 413 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,993 And I'm gonna bring every television camera, 414 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,853 every news reporter, every microphone I can find. 415 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,206 Fine, we'll make a party of it. 416 00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:14,666 I bring some friends, you bring some friends. 417 00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,901 We'll get some chips and dip, a deejay. 418 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:19,362 And we, you know, we get on this hospital thing. 419 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:22,907 This meeting is over, Mr. Wellington. Good-bye. 420 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,802 Hey, I'm serious. 421 00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:26,536 I'm not joking. I'm... I... 422 00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:29,038 Is something wrong? 423 00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,501 I lost the keys to the handcuffs. 424 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:37,964 Didn't your mama tell you to carry an extra handcuff key? 425 00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:41,610 Okay, okay. You know what? I'm just playin' with you. 426 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,010 I'm gonna look for the key. 427 00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:44,846 It's not up there. 428 00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:47,515 It's not there. 429 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,350 There it is. 430 00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,018 Nope. Roach. 431 00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,729 There you go. Got it. 432 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,733 You know what I got right here? 433 00:21:58,568 --> 00:22:00,570 I got your freedom. 434 00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,656 I'm just playin'. Let me get it. 435 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,534 Don't worry. Gotcha. 436 00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:10,413 See? Everything's all right. 437 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:15,376 Thank you, bastard. 438 00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:19,338 I was just playin'. 439 00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:27,406 I don't know what happened. 440 00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:28,949 I put the pills in his drink. I saw him drink it. 441 00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:32,870 I'll tell you what happened. Ya blew it! You ruined us! 442 00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:34,270 You... You idiot! 443 00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:36,898 You incompetent moron! 444 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,399 - You bitch. - You retard. 445 00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:40,359 - You rich bitch. - Yeah. 446 00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:41,986 You fat, old bitch. 447 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,406 Now we're talkin'. 448 00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:50,411 - Oh, God. - Oh, yeah. 449 00:22:52,955 --> 00:22:54,207 Honey, I'm home. 450 00:22:57,919 --> 00:23:00,671 You want to put a little English right on the top 451 00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:04,008 I just want to say that I know y'all tried to kill me. 452 00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:10,866 Darling, that's ridiculous. 453 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,392 From what I hear, I'm kind of an asshole. 454 00:23:14,477 --> 00:23:15,728 So I figure we're even. 455 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:18,415 I was an asshole, y'all tried to kill me. 456 00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:19,708 Don't know what you're talkin' about. 457 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:22,443 Come on. I know you tried to kill me. 458 00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:24,820 So, let's just move on. 459 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:28,133 I mean, we're adults. So what if you tried to kill me. 460 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:31,244 But we're never gonna have a good relationship until you admit it. 461 00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:35,307 Okay, we tried to kill you. 462 00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:37,935 Gotcha! Police! Police, here they are! 463 00:23:37,959 --> 00:23:40,419 Okay, okay, I'm sorry. 464 00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:43,631 I'm just playin'. I'm not gonna tell anybody. 465 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:45,442 But I do need a favor from you. 466 00:23:45,466 --> 00:23:47,677 Do you know how to get in touch with Sontee Jenkins? 467 00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:53,391 No, but we can find out. Should I call our usual problem solvers? 468 00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:56,686 Maybe if they pay a little visit to her home, she'll change her tune. 469 00:23:57,186 --> 00:23:58,372 We could kill her dog. 470 00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:00,832 Does she have a dog? We could get her a dog. We could kill it. 471 00:24:00,856 --> 00:24:03,168 Look, I don't have a problem with Sontee Jenkins. 472 00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:04,694 I want to ask her out on a date. 473 00:24:07,405 --> 00:24:08,614 Charles! 474 00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:10,533 Oh, don't "Oh, Charles" me. 475 00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:13,035 You were gettin' ready to have sex on the pool table. 476 00:24:13,202 --> 00:24:14,996 You've got an eight ball in your ass. 477 00:24:15,246 --> 00:24:16,998 Now, there's where you're wrong. 478 00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:21,019 We were just... It was... This isn't level, and we were trying to... 479 00:24:21,043 --> 00:24:24,171 Do me a favor. Keep waxin' that ass. Keep her off mine. 480 00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:30,428 Waxing it? What does that mean? 481 00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,117 How do you get this thing to change channels? 482 00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:37,161 How do you get MTV? 483 00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:41,290 Showtime. 484 00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:45,169 Playboy. 485 00:25:46,379 --> 00:25:47,546 Hey! 486 00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:50,883 - BET. - Not available. 487 00:26:09,485 --> 00:26:11,737 Descending to staff level. 488 00:26:13,698 --> 00:26:16,200 Let me tell you, baking soda'll get that right out. 489 00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:18,911 Does any TV in this house get BET? 490 00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:21,682 BET, Mr. Wellington? 491 00:26:21,706 --> 00:26:23,999 You know, BET, Black Entertainment Television. 492 00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:26,961 No, I know what BET is. 493 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,422 You wanna watch BET? 494 00:26:30,131 --> 00:26:31,233 Yeah. 495 00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:34,260 The TV in the staff lounge gets BET, Mr. Wellington. 496 00:26:34,719 --> 00:26:36,887 Would you guys mind if I went and watched some TV? 497 00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:40,850 Not at all, Mr. Wellington. This is your house. 498 00:26:41,225 --> 00:26:42,494 Enjoy it. 499 00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:43,561 Thanks a lot. 500 00:26:43,894 --> 00:26:45,080 Take care. 501 00:26:45,104 --> 00:26:48,566 Thank you, Mr. Wellington, you jungle fever havin' bastard. 502 00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:51,420 What, it's not enough he bosses my ass around upstairs? 503 00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:53,738 Now he got to come down here and watch my little TV. 504 00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:56,425 I tell you what, if he asks me to change the channel, 505 00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:57,783 I'm gonna cut his ass. 506 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,244 Wanda? 507 00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:04,373 Yes, Mr. Wellington? 508 00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:06,709 You don't like me, do you? 509 00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:10,171 No, I like you just fine, sir. 510 00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:14,717 She can't stand your ass. You should hear her all the time. 511 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:18,739 "I hate Wellington. Boy, I hope he drops dead." 512 00:27:18,763 --> 00:27:20,741 "Wellington stupido." 513 00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:24,161 "Wellington cheapo. Wellington assholo." 514 00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:25,895 Sir, it's just disrespectful. 515 00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:28,898 I understand, really. If I was you, I would hate me, too. 516 00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:30,500 I tell you what I'm gonna do. 517 00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:33,778 Startin' next week, both of you get a 200% raise. 518 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:37,448 Are you happy? 519 00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:39,366 I'm ecstatic. 520 00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,328 Good. Take care. 521 00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:49,084 I'll believe that bullshit when I see my check. 522 00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:50,771 All right. Here we go now. Here we go. 523 00:27:50,795 --> 00:27:53,088 Come on, baby. Come on, baby. 524 00:27:54,215 --> 00:27:57,426 For Christ's sake. You gotta hit that. It's a wide-open three. 525 00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:01,013 Come in. 526 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,161 Mr. Wellington, sir. 527 00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:08,145 Anything I can do for you? I didn't hear the bell. 528 00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:10,022 Is there anybody else in here? 529 00:28:11,273 --> 00:28:13,359 I don't believe so, sir, no. 530 00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:16,695 You're not from England, are you? 531 00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:22,260 Of course I am, sir. I'm from London. 532 00:28:22,284 --> 00:28:25,329 I was born in Fulham, sir. A stone's throw from the river Thames. 533 00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:28,958 My father was a gentleman's gentleman, and I am a gentleman's gentleman. 534 00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:31,794 I was right outside the door. I heard you. 535 00:28:32,461 --> 00:28:34,439 I know what you do. You put on this fake accent. 536 00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:36,507 Just to make the rich folks feel comfortable. 537 00:28:37,091 --> 00:28:38,384 Pretty good scam. 538 00:28:39,426 --> 00:28:40,586 So where are you really from? 539 00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:43,973 I'm from Scarsdale. 540 00:28:44,515 --> 00:28:45,742 Holy crap! Am I fired? 541 00:28:45,766 --> 00:28:48,477 No, you're not fired. Mind if I watch BET? 542 00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:51,706 Certainly, sir. Would you like me to change the channel? 543 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,859 Drop the accent. "Would you like me to change the..." 544 00:28:56,026 --> 00:28:57,695 Just be yourself. 545 00:29:01,198 --> 00:29:04,368 Okay, do you... Do you want a beer? 546 00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:07,246 You know what? Let me get it. You worked all day. 547 00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:10,875 You got any Rheingolds? 548 00:29:13,043 --> 00:29:16,147 Okay, and the excitement is building as the second amateur spot 549 00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,817 for the final Apollo show has been awarded to 550 00:29:18,841 --> 00:29:20,360 comedian Joe Guy from Brooklyn. 551 00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:23,095 And now stay tuned for the Brian McKnight-a-thon. 552 00:29:25,681 --> 00:29:27,325 Where you goin', sir? 553 00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:29,810 I gotta go work on my material. Where's the nearest subway? 554 00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:31,729 You wanna take the car? 555 00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:42,573 What's up, Snoop? 556 00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:47,536 It's kind of hard being Snoop D-O-double-G. 557 00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:51,308 Keep comin' up with funky ass shit. 558 00:29:51,332 --> 00:29:52,833 Like every single day. 559 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:55,252 What's up, museum? 560 00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:58,899 Sippin' on gin and juice. 561 00:29:58,923 --> 00:30:00,191 Laid back. 562 00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:02,968 With my mind on my money And my money on my mind. 563 00:30:03,969 --> 00:30:06,180 Come on! Yeah! 564 00:30:06,597 --> 00:30:08,867 Sippin' on gin and juice. 565 00:30:08,891 --> 00:30:10,201 Here it comes! 566 00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:13,103 With my mind on my money And my money on my mind. 567 00:30:14,939 --> 00:30:16,231 Put up your "W." 568 00:30:39,797 --> 00:30:41,507 Are you ready for more comedy? 569 00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:45,445 All right. Our next act, you've seen him on TV. 570 00:30:45,469 --> 00:30:46,780 You've read about him in the paper. 571 00:30:46,804 --> 00:30:49,616 He just won a spot on the last night of the Apollo. 572 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,767 Give it up for Joe Guy! 573 00:30:53,268 --> 00:30:55,538 What's up, brother? 574 00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:58,166 Look at this place. It lookin' fine, boy! 575 00:30:58,190 --> 00:31:02,087 Got some fine lookin' sisters in the house. Except for you, girl. 576 00:31:02,111 --> 00:31:04,172 - You sure this is such a great idea? - God damn, you is ugly. 577 00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:05,906 This place does seem a little... 578 00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:07,157 A little what? 579 00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:11,370 It's a little dark in here. 580 00:31:11,954 --> 00:31:13,122 Relax. 581 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,124 These are my people. 582 00:31:16,667 --> 00:31:19,437 And there is no more America. There's no more little towns. 583 00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:24,091 No, no, no. You know what all it is? Malls. The whole country is malls. 584 00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:27,428 And every town's got two malls. Every town's got two malls. 585 00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:31,974 That's right. They got the white mall... And the mall white people used to go to. 586 00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:35,436 That's right. 'Cause there ain't nothin' in the black mall. 587 00:31:35,686 --> 00:31:39,082 They don't got nothin' in the black mall but sneakers and baby clothes. 588 00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:42,067 I guess that's all we doin', runnin' and screwin'. 589 00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:44,713 And white people will abandon a mall. That's right. 590 00:31:44,737 --> 00:31:46,131 White people like their black 591 00:31:46,155 --> 00:31:48,991 the same way they like their seasoning, just a dash. 592 00:31:50,159 --> 00:31:52,679 You go to a white mall, it's all nice. Everything. 593 00:31:52,703 --> 00:31:56,182 The stores are all nice. You got personal shoppers. 594 00:31:56,206 --> 00:31:59,710 You go to a black mall and people say, "Can I help you with the cheap shit?" 595 00:32:00,878 --> 00:32:05,215 White people get some money, keep it. Stay rich. Kids get rich. 596 00:32:05,758 --> 00:32:07,193 Black people get some money, 597 00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:09,803 it's the countdown to "When this brother gonna go broke?" 598 00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:13,491 That's right. White people die and leave a will. 599 00:32:13,515 --> 00:32:15,267 Brother die and leave a bill. 600 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,380 I'm fine. I'm fine. Fine. 601 00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:48,884 Hi, it's Sontee. Leave me a message. I'll call you back. 602 00:32:50,052 --> 00:32:52,155 Hey, Sontee. Charles Wellington here. 603 00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:54,574 The bastard. Remember me? 604 00:32:54,598 --> 00:32:57,202 Anyway, it was cool havin' you break into my house the other day, 605 00:32:57,226 --> 00:32:59,728 and I was just wonderin' if we can get together 606 00:32:59,895 --> 00:33:03,065 and get somethin' to eat. You know, catch a movie or somethin'. 607 00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:08,529 Hey, Sontee. Charles Wellington here. Hope you like the flowers. 608 00:33:11,657 --> 00:33:13,909 All right. Give me a call. 609 00:33:15,077 --> 00:33:19,349 Hey, Sontee. Charles Wellington again. You haven't called me. 610 00:33:19,373 --> 00:33:21,726 You know, I was just wonderin' if we can get together and catch a movie, 611 00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:23,252 maybe a play, somethin'. 612 00:33:23,919 --> 00:33:25,420 Are you there? 613 00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:27,673 Are you screening this call? 614 00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:36,348 Okay, I guess you're not there. 615 00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:40,185 Hey, Sontee. Charles Wellington. 616 00:33:40,602 --> 00:33:43,915 Are you there? I know you're there! I know you're there! 617 00:33:43,939 --> 00:33:46,108 Pick up the phone! I know you're there! 618 00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:47,901 Hey, just playin'. 619 00:33:48,068 --> 00:33:49,295 Just playin'. 620 00:33:49,319 --> 00:33:51,113 All right. Give me a call, okay? 621 00:33:56,869 --> 00:33:58,078 Good mornin'. 622 00:33:58,620 --> 00:34:00,348 Did you know your answering machine is broken? 623 00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:02,457 No, it's not broken, but it is full. 624 00:34:02,749 --> 00:34:04,209 Would you stop calling me? 625 00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:06,903 - What are you doin' here? - I was just in the neighborhood. 626 00:34:07,337 --> 00:34:08,648 Oh, you were in Brooklyn. 627 00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:11,025 What were you doin', shuttin' down some old folks' homes? 628 00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:14,386 Come on, don't be so mean. I thought maybe we could get in the Rolls 629 00:34:14,553 --> 00:34:16,823 and go by the Four Seasons, have a little brunch, 630 00:34:16,847 --> 00:34:18,407 just discuss this whole hospital thing. 631 00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:22,704 So you're trying to impress me with the car and the money. 632 00:34:22,728 --> 00:34:24,354 You think I'm some video ho? 633 00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:27,834 Look, I really don't care what you have, okay? 634 00:34:27,858 --> 00:34:30,587 If you want to impress me, do it at the board meeting on Monday. 635 00:34:30,611 --> 00:34:32,731 But I thought maybe we could spend some time together. 636 00:34:33,030 --> 00:34:36,200 Why don't you spend a little time and do something positive with your money? 637 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,142 That was brutal. 638 00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:45,852 You got a nice touch with the ladies, Lance. 639 00:34:45,876 --> 00:34:49,981 I can't get a girl in this body, and I definitely can't get any laughs. 640 00:34:50,005 --> 00:34:52,775 - Have you found me anything yet? - I'm workin' on it. 641 00:34:52,799 --> 00:34:54,551 I was just in Havana. You want one? 642 00:34:54,718 --> 00:34:56,070 No, I don't want one. 643 00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:58,597 What I want from you is a body that works. 644 00:34:58,764 --> 00:35:00,849 I want a body, and I want it now! 645 00:35:01,225 --> 00:35:04,394 What, are you gettin' tough with me? I'm a friggin' angel. 646 00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:07,373 You don't want to be in Heaven, you don't like it here. 647 00:35:07,397 --> 00:35:09,375 There is a third option, you know. 648 00:35:09,399 --> 00:35:12,319 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just need a body. 649 00:35:13,695 --> 00:35:16,883 You know what? There's a big rap concert in the Bronx tonight. 650 00:35:16,907 --> 00:35:18,742 Somebody's gonna die. 651 00:35:20,077 --> 00:35:23,247 Hey, don't forget about me. Go to the rap concert. 652 00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:25,707 It's over between you and me. 653 00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:28,895 - I can't do this anymore. - Let's just get out of here. 654 00:35:28,919 --> 00:35:32,440 We could take the plane. We could go someplace he'll never find us. 655 00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:34,943 Chechnya, East Timor. It'll be fun. 656 00:35:34,967 --> 00:35:36,301 No, I can't. 657 00:35:37,052 --> 00:35:41,098 I mean, after all, he is my husband, and I love him. 658 00:35:42,015 --> 00:35:44,226 And I'm gonna do whatever I can to get him back. 659 00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:49,314 You bitch. You scheming, double-crossing bitch. 660 00:35:49,940 --> 00:35:53,443 That's sweet, Winston, but it's too late. 661 00:35:56,947 --> 00:35:59,491 We cannot allow Wellco to take over! 662 00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:03,596 I just think this is an extremely bad time to be making a personal appearance. 663 00:36:03,620 --> 00:36:05,515 Look, I've been lookin' into this hospital thing. 664 00:36:05,539 --> 00:36:06,683 You have? 665 00:36:06,707 --> 00:36:08,643 Yeah. And I think Sontee Jenkins had a point 666 00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:11,813 Chuck, Chuck... Let's just handle this the usual way, okay? 667 00:36:11,837 --> 00:36:14,381 You do the strong, silent thing. I'll field all the questions. 668 00:36:14,548 --> 00:36:16,359 I'm the velvet glove. You're the iron fist. 669 00:36:16,383 --> 00:36:17,843 I mean, I won't let you down. 670 00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:20,822 - We can't have that. - You can't do that! 671 00:36:20,846 --> 00:36:23,533 And there's one man that's responsible for all this, 672 00:36:23,557 --> 00:36:24,766 Charles Wellington. 673 00:36:25,142 --> 00:36:26,643 You're a bad man! 674 00:36:28,937 --> 00:36:29,937 Get out of here! 675 00:36:31,273 --> 00:36:33,191 Leave our hospital alone! 676 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:34,735 Scumbag! 677 00:36:35,027 --> 00:36:36,194 White oppressor! 678 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:39,590 Mr. Wellington, now that you own Brooklyn Community Hospital, 679 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:42,176 are you gonna be sending those without health insurance 680 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,304 to public facilities outside their own community? 681 00:36:44,328 --> 00:36:45,662 Yeah, asshole! 682 00:36:45,829 --> 00:36:47,807 No, no, no. Mr. Wellington doesn't really have time 683 00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:49,600 to answer any questions right now. 684 00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:52,270 You know what, let me address that. I don't care what you got. 685 00:36:52,294 --> 00:36:56,983 Cancer, rickets, polio, swine flu, the clap, dandruff... 686 00:36:57,007 --> 00:36:58,693 - What else you got? - Lyme disease. 687 00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:02,679 Lyme disease, lemon disease. It don't matter. We'll take you. 688 00:37:03,597 --> 00:37:04,765 Liar! 689 00:37:05,515 --> 00:37:06,725 Won't take you. 690 00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:08,369 Mr. Wellington, is the... 691 00:37:08,393 --> 00:37:10,187 Thank you. Thank you all. 692 00:37:10,854 --> 00:37:12,415 Well, here they are, Mr. Wellington, 693 00:37:12,439 --> 00:37:15,710 the faces that you were too much of a coward to confront. 694 00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:17,170 So what do you have to say to them? 695 00:37:17,194 --> 00:37:18,612 Hey, what's up, wheelie? 696 00:37:19,196 --> 00:37:21,698 Crutchie crutch, how you doin', man? 697 00:37:22,032 --> 00:37:23,426 Hey, big I.V. 698 00:37:23,450 --> 00:37:26,262 Save me a sip. I want a sip, now. 699 00:37:26,286 --> 00:37:27,764 I know what's wrong with you. 700 00:37:27,788 --> 00:37:30,248 Your breath is destroying the environment. 701 00:37:32,793 --> 00:37:35,379 Why don't you tell them, that you don't care about them? 702 00:37:35,545 --> 00:37:36,814 And while you're at it, 703 00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:39,525 how come you locked the staff and the press out of this meeting? 704 00:37:39,549 --> 00:37:41,152 - Yeah! - You know what? 705 00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:44,930 I must've been out of my mind. Was I takin' ecstasy that day? 706 00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:46,348 We goin' in there. 707 00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:49,202 Sklar, grab a stretcher. We're goin' in. 708 00:37:49,226 --> 00:37:50,661 - All right! - Everybody. 709 00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:55,416 If you can walk, let's walk. If you can't walk, it's time to roll. 710 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,461 If you got crutches, then crutch your ass in there. 711 00:37:58,485 --> 00:38:01,696 We are goin' in. Come on, big I.V. Let's do this. 712 00:38:03,115 --> 00:38:04,759 Sorry, brother. 713 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:06,660 Can we get some more juice for big I.V.? 714 00:38:09,788 --> 00:38:12,016 Hey, guys, I brought us some friends from the media. 715 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,084 So if anybody is not where they're supposed to be 716 00:38:14,251 --> 00:38:16,354 or with somebody they're not supposed to be with 717 00:38:16,378 --> 00:38:19,857 or got a little crust in their eyes, you might want to get up right now. 718 00:38:19,881 --> 00:38:22,026 You can't bring news cameras into the boardroom. 719 00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:23,569 No, this is not a good idea, Charles. 720 00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:25,530 Hey, relax. We got nothing to hide. 721 00:38:25,554 --> 00:38:28,366 If there's not enough seats, you can just sit on somebody's lap. 722 00:38:28,390 --> 00:38:30,350 Unless the person next to you don't got a lap. 723 00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:33,186 So, what's up? 724 00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:36,457 Mr. Wellington, at your hospital in Kentucky, 725 00:38:36,481 --> 00:38:40,336 a teenager with a bullet wound to his head was sent to another hospital 726 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,131 15 miles away, dying en route. 727 00:38:43,155 --> 00:38:46,801 Hey. Hospitals don't kill people. People kill people. 728 00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:48,678 What kind of cold-ass shit is that? 729 00:38:48,702 --> 00:38:51,639 We can't be sendin' people out with bullet wounds to their head. 730 00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:54,267 That's somethin' you definitely have to take serious. 731 00:38:54,291 --> 00:38:59,021 From now on, we got a new slogan. "Shot in the head, you get a bed," okay? 732 00:38:59,045 --> 00:39:01,691 "If your head is bloody, we're your buddy." 733 00:39:01,715 --> 00:39:04,777 I want bullet wounds in this place to be treated like cash. 734 00:39:04,801 --> 00:39:06,636 Accepted everywhere. 735 00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:11,141 But not without adequate insurance. 736 00:39:11,308 --> 00:39:15,061 "Not without adequate insurance." Is insurance really adequate? 737 00:39:15,479 --> 00:39:18,440 When you pay for insurance, do you feel assured? 738 00:39:18,732 --> 00:39:22,670 They shouldn't even call it insurance. They should just call it "in case shit." 739 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:26,174 I give a company some money in case shit happens. 740 00:39:26,198 --> 00:39:29,367 Now, if shit don't happen, shouldn't I get my money back? 741 00:39:29,743 --> 00:39:31,387 Wouldn't that be fair? 742 00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:33,580 I mean, if I had known y'all was gonna keep the money, 743 00:39:33,747 --> 00:39:35,558 I would've got in an accident. 744 00:39:35,582 --> 00:39:37,560 And if you're gonna take my money, 745 00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:40,563 at least spend the money on some poor, sick people. 746 00:39:40,587 --> 00:39:43,399 Don't take my money and buy a Mercedes-Benz, 747 00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:45,943 and park it in front of Brooklyn Hospital 748 00:39:45,967 --> 00:39:48,446 when all these broke people gotta walk by it. 749 00:39:48,470 --> 00:39:50,573 I just got off the B44 bus, 750 00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:52,783 and I got to look at your Mercedes-Benz? 751 00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:54,726 I should just stab the tire! 752 00:39:56,144 --> 00:40:00,565 And why do doctors cost so much? Do you know? Shut the hell up! 753 00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:05,671 It's like doctors chargin' all this money for a triple bypass surgery. 754 00:40:05,695 --> 00:40:10,760 Triple bypass surgery gonna charge somebody $100,000, 755 00:40:10,784 --> 00:40:13,370 and then got the nerve to say, "Take it easy." 756 00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:17,517 Shit, I gotta go get a job right now drivin' another cab or somethin'. 757 00:40:17,541 --> 00:40:19,417 Just to pay off the damn doctor! 758 00:40:21,211 --> 00:40:23,689 From now on, we have to be different. 759 00:40:23,713 --> 00:40:27,008 Let's see how it feels to not be the evil corporation anymore. 760 00:40:27,384 --> 00:40:31,197 Let's try takin' in people bleedin' with bullet wounds to the head. 761 00:40:31,221 --> 00:40:32,865 Let's just try it for a change. 762 00:40:32,889 --> 00:40:35,952 I mean, we tried the other way. We made a lot of money. 763 00:40:35,976 --> 00:40:37,852 We got paid. We got laid. 764 00:40:38,019 --> 00:40:40,480 And so what if we lose a few million dollars? 765 00:40:41,231 --> 00:40:43,900 Now, a lot of y'all look pretty pissed off. 766 00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:46,128 Look like y'all want to get froggy. 767 00:40:46,152 --> 00:40:47,279 Well, come on! 768 00:40:48,321 --> 00:40:52,284 What you gonna do? You see this foot? You see this foot? 769 00:40:52,742 --> 00:40:54,845 It's from a little town called "rich man's ass," 770 00:40:54,869 --> 00:40:56,162 and it's gettin' homesick. 771 00:40:57,831 --> 00:41:01,519 You guys have been great. You've been a lovely audience. 772 00:41:01,543 --> 00:41:03,688 I want to thank y'all for showin' up. 773 00:41:03,712 --> 00:41:08,383 Drive home safely. Tip your waitresses. I gots to go. Take care. 774 00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:10,903 Thanks a lot. 775 00:41:10,927 --> 00:41:12,530 - Thank you. - Mr. Wellington? 776 00:41:12,554 --> 00:41:13,763 Pardon me. Nice shirt. 777 00:41:18,226 --> 00:41:19,561 Hey, Chuck. 778 00:41:20,729 --> 00:41:24,190 Look, I feel like I haven't been tending to your needs, 779 00:41:24,399 --> 00:41:26,252 but I wanna make it up to you. 780 00:41:26,276 --> 00:41:30,322 I know your biggest fantasy has always been a ménage a trois 781 00:41:31,114 --> 00:41:33,908 and you've always had a thing for Blanche from the club. 782 00:41:35,452 --> 00:41:36,703 Hi, Chuck. 783 00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:40,707 How'd you like to come over here and taste me? 784 00:41:47,088 --> 00:41:49,382 Sir, the handcuff lady's here. 785 00:41:50,342 --> 00:41:51,384 Sontee? 786 00:41:56,056 --> 00:41:57,223 Mr. Wellington. 787 00:41:57,515 --> 00:41:59,100 Descending from second floor. 788 00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:00,977 You know what? Just call me Lance. 789 00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:03,664 I thought your name was Charles. 790 00:42:03,688 --> 00:42:08,026 Yeah, but Charles is short for Lance. Charles is a maiden name. 791 00:42:09,110 --> 00:42:10,445 Okay, Lance. 792 00:42:11,154 --> 00:42:13,424 I just came to say I'm sorry. 793 00:42:13,448 --> 00:42:15,676 I mean, I know I said a lot of bad things about you, 794 00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:17,786 but you kept brushing me off. 795 00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,389 But if you meant all those things you said at the board meeting, 796 00:42:20,413 --> 00:42:21,539 it was so great. 797 00:42:21,706 --> 00:42:24,584 Are you hungry? I'm sorry to jump in, but are you hungry? 798 00:42:25,585 --> 00:42:28,564 You gotta be hungry. I mean, you've been workin' all day. 799 00:42:28,588 --> 00:42:32,151 I know you were out there marchin', and you got your picket sign, 800 00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:35,261 and Al Sharpton's there, and he ate all the food. 801 00:42:35,595 --> 00:42:39,367 - You wanna get somethin' to eat? - No. I don't think I should. 802 00:42:39,391 --> 00:42:42,519 Come on. I'm not tryin' to impress you. 803 00:42:43,269 --> 00:42:45,206 I swear, I am not tryin' to impress you. 804 00:42:45,230 --> 00:42:47,148 I just want to feed you. 805 00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:50,127 That's all. We don't even have to drive. 806 00:42:50,151 --> 00:42:54,072 We can walk. We can skip. You wanna skip to a meal? 807 00:42:56,491 --> 00:42:58,177 I guess I am hungry. 808 00:42:58,201 --> 00:42:59,494 So, come on. Let's go. 809 00:43:12,173 --> 00:43:13,734 What's the matter? You don't like this place? 810 00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:16,445 - No, I am just surprised. - What? 811 00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:19,198 I didn't always have money. It wasn't like I was born rich. 812 00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:20,950 Yeah, right. 813 00:43:20,974 --> 00:43:22,827 You know how you visit people in the hospital? 814 00:43:22,851 --> 00:43:26,372 I used to go to store windows and visit clothes I had on layaway. 815 00:43:26,396 --> 00:43:29,190 "Used to?" I was just visiting a pair of shoes last week. 816 00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:30,900 I remember this one time, 817 00:43:31,067 --> 00:43:34,880 I put a coat on layaway in, I don't know, September. 818 00:43:34,904 --> 00:43:36,924 So, I figured I'd get it out in the winter. 819 00:43:36,948 --> 00:43:40,010 Money got low. Couldn't get the damn thing out till June. 820 00:43:40,034 --> 00:43:42,074 So, what'd you do? Wait till next winter to wear it? 821 00:43:42,162 --> 00:43:43,723 For a coat I just paid for? 822 00:43:43,747 --> 00:43:45,623 Please! I wore that coat the whole summer. 823 00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:49,937 July 4th, I was on the beach with a goose down and a pair of shorts. 824 00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:52,148 - Stop playing. - I'm not playing. 825 00:43:52,172 --> 00:43:55,383 Sweating. Just drown... Just dripping sweat, slipping. 826 00:43:56,509 --> 00:43:59,679 To this day when I wanna lose some weight, I just put on a hot coat... 827 00:44:13,151 --> 00:44:15,320 Stop, drop. 828 00:44:15,779 --> 00:44:17,822 Shut 'em down open up shop. 829 00:44:18,406 --> 00:44:20,408 Oh, no. 830 00:44:21,117 --> 00:44:22,762 That's how Ruff Ryders roll. 831 00:44:22,786 --> 00:44:24,263 Niggas wanna try. 832 00:44:24,287 --> 00:44:25,514 Niggas wanna lie. 833 00:44:25,538 --> 00:44:26,849 Then niggas wonder why. 834 00:44:26,873 --> 00:44:28,208 Niggas wanna die. 835 00:44:28,374 --> 00:44:29,643 All I feel is pain. 836 00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:30,877 All I feel is rain. 837 00:44:31,044 --> 00:44:32,354 What? 838 00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:33,647 What? 839 00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:34,857 What? 840 00:44:34,881 --> 00:44:36,358 What? 841 00:44:36,382 --> 00:44:37,693 What? 842 00:44:37,717 --> 00:44:39,236 What? 843 00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:40,404 - Yo, dog! - What? 844 00:44:40,428 --> 00:44:41,596 What? 845 00:44:48,228 --> 00:44:51,189 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm okay. 846 00:44:52,023 --> 00:44:54,668 - Hey! - Have you lost your mind? 847 00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,069 I forgot who I was. 848 00:44:56,820 --> 00:44:58,506 You forgot who you were. 849 00:44:58,530 --> 00:45:01,342 I just like the song. DMX. Ruff Ryders. 850 00:45:01,366 --> 00:45:02,450 What if I was singing, 851 00:45:02,617 --> 00:45:05,453 "Whities wanna die, whities can't try?" 852 00:45:06,079 --> 00:45:07,247 You might get a record deal. 853 00:45:10,875 --> 00:45:13,854 You know, I don't believe you. You're somethin' else. 854 00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:17,966 I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect this. 855 00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:20,468 There's something about your eyes. 856 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:24,490 When I look at you, it's like I see somebody else inside you. 857 00:45:24,514 --> 00:45:26,575 You know, even when I was trying to be mad at you, 858 00:45:26,599 --> 00:45:29,602 I just can't help but see something else. 859 00:45:30,937 --> 00:45:33,314 - Sounds crazy, huh? - No, it's... 860 00:45:33,690 --> 00:45:34,899 It's not crazy. 861 00:45:35,316 --> 00:45:37,527 It's... It's not crazy. 862 00:45:40,697 --> 00:45:42,490 - Some date, huh? - Date? 863 00:45:43,157 --> 00:45:45,618 I thought you were just trying to feed me. 864 00:45:46,286 --> 00:45:48,121 I was till I got my ass whooped. 865 00:45:49,831 --> 00:45:52,292 That guy punched me like I owed him child support. 866 00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:30,598 Well, that was different than what I thought it would be. 867 00:46:30,622 --> 00:46:33,583 Different good or different weird? 868 00:46:34,042 --> 00:46:36,145 It was a little bit of both, I think. 869 00:46:36,169 --> 00:46:38,439 I guess you just didn't seem like my type. 870 00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:41,442 Not your type. So, what's your type look like? 871 00:46:41,466 --> 00:46:45,011 It's not all about looks. I mean, you don't have to be fine or anything. 872 00:46:45,470 --> 00:46:48,032 I just kind of like a guy with all of his teeth. 873 00:46:48,056 --> 00:46:50,242 Well, that's a good rule. That's a good rule. 874 00:46:50,266 --> 00:46:54,103 I like a slim guy. A guy with a goatee. 875 00:46:54,604 --> 00:46:56,981 Nice eyes. And he's gotta be funny. 876 00:46:58,942 --> 00:47:00,920 I guess I don't have a chance. 877 00:47:00,944 --> 00:47:02,338 What's your type? 878 00:47:02,362 --> 00:47:06,074 My type? I like my women same way I like my coffee. 879 00:47:06,950 --> 00:47:08,368 Puerto Rican. 880 00:47:08,785 --> 00:47:11,120 - Just playing. Just playing. - You watch it. 881 00:47:12,705 --> 00:47:14,207 Oh, boy, here we are. 882 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,251 So, can I call you? 883 00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:19,837 Well, let me ask you something. 884 00:47:20,588 --> 00:47:22,650 All that stuff you were saying at the hospital, 885 00:47:22,674 --> 00:47:24,217 were you just trying to get with me? 886 00:47:24,634 --> 00:47:26,094 At first, yeah. 887 00:47:26,552 --> 00:47:28,280 Yeah, that's all I could think about. 888 00:47:28,304 --> 00:47:29,782 But then I remembered what you said. 889 00:47:29,806 --> 00:47:32,034 "Do something positive with your money." 890 00:47:32,058 --> 00:47:34,143 So, I figure, you know, I'm in this body, 891 00:47:34,310 --> 00:47:36,020 I might as well help. 892 00:47:36,521 --> 00:47:39,023 I mean, if I get with you, great. 893 00:47:39,607 --> 00:47:42,443 But if not, at least somebody'll be happy. 894 00:47:45,947 --> 00:47:47,699 You know what? I'd better go. 895 00:47:48,950 --> 00:47:51,786 Yeah. I guess I better be going, too. 896 00:47:52,829 --> 00:47:55,665 Yeah. I wonder who the Knicks played. 897 00:47:56,582 --> 00:47:59,544 I think they played the Lakers or somebody. 898 00:48:03,715 --> 00:48:05,049 I'm sorry. 899 00:48:05,883 --> 00:48:07,885 I'm sorry. Was I wrong? 900 00:48:08,261 --> 00:48:11,448 No, it's... I knew you were gonna try to kiss me tonight 901 00:48:11,472 --> 00:48:12,807 and I thought I'd be mad, 902 00:48:14,392 --> 00:48:15,911 but I'm not. It's... 903 00:48:15,935 --> 00:48:17,854 It's something about your eyes. 904 00:48:18,521 --> 00:48:22,918 You know, the first kiss is always in the middle of a sentence. 905 00:48:22,942 --> 00:48:24,378 It's always like, 906 00:48:24,402 --> 00:48:25,671 "Yeah, tomorrow I'm gonna go to the zoo," 907 00:48:25,695 --> 00:48:27,256 "because I got this whole thing with orangutans" 908 00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,781 "and I just..." 909 00:48:31,451 --> 00:48:34,513 Or it could be like, 910 00:48:34,537 --> 00:48:36,849 "Did you hear about that new war in Russia?" 911 00:48:36,873 --> 00:48:38,541 "I heard they were gonna..." 912 00:48:44,005 --> 00:48:46,841 So, I can call you, right? I mean, just to talk. 913 00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:50,070 No nasty talk or anything. Unless that's what you're into. 914 00:48:50,094 --> 00:48:51,262 Then, hey! 915 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:53,973 Good night. 916 00:49:02,065 --> 00:49:03,816 Yes! Yes! 917 00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:06,736 Yes! Yes! Yes! 918 00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,176 My bab y! My b ab -Yesl! 919 00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,344 Yes! Yes! 920 00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:15,661 Yes, yes! 921 00:49:23,628 --> 00:49:26,047 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 922 00:49:36,891 --> 00:49:39,102 Yes! Yes! 923 00:49:57,286 --> 00:49:58,579 Get off my foot, bitch! 924 00:50:12,176 --> 00:50:15,614 - Okay, let's go. - Hey! Don't sneak up on me like that. 925 00:50:15,638 --> 00:50:17,491 - What are you, the Great Gazoo? - Sorry. 926 00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:20,035 Hi. How are you? Nice night. I got a new body for you. 927 00:50:20,059 --> 00:50:21,819 You know what? I don't need the body anymore. 928 00:50:21,894 --> 00:50:23,705 This one's just fine. 929 00:50:23,729 --> 00:50:25,624 Mr. Barton, we have about one minute 930 00:50:25,648 --> 00:50:28,418 to get you into this truly fabulous corpse. 931 00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:30,319 Hey, I'm cool with Wellington. 932 00:50:30,486 --> 00:50:32,756 You know why? 'Cause Sontee's cool with Wellington. 933 00:50:32,780 --> 00:50:35,342 Look, I just waited through OI' Dirty Bastard, 934 00:50:35,366 --> 00:50:37,427 Mystikal and Silkk the Shocker for you. 935 00:50:37,451 --> 00:50:38,911 Keeping this body is not an option, 936 00:50:39,078 --> 00:50:41,390 regardless of whether you're smitten with some girl. 937 00:50:41,414 --> 00:50:43,791 It's not some girl. It's the girl. 938 00:50:44,750 --> 00:50:47,187 I mean, you got Heaven, but you don't got this, man. 939 00:50:47,211 --> 00:50:49,005 I mean, she's fine. She's smart. 940 00:50:49,338 --> 00:50:51,400 We like all the same stuff. We hate all the same stuff. 941 00:50:51,424 --> 00:50:53,384 She laughs at my stupid jokes. 942 00:50:53,718 --> 00:50:56,155 And I don't have to censor myself around her. 943 00:50:56,179 --> 00:50:57,281 But you know what? 944 00:50:57,305 --> 00:50:59,974 She only knows me as this guy Wellington. 945 00:51:00,474 --> 00:51:02,286 So, I don't want to up and change now. 946 00:51:02,310 --> 00:51:05,605 Lance, trust me, it's better this way. 947 00:51:06,314 --> 00:51:08,709 Yo, money, give me your wallet. 948 00:51:08,733 --> 00:51:10,085 One second. 949 00:51:10,109 --> 00:51:12,320 Are you sure I won't die for 40 years? 950 00:51:13,154 --> 00:51:14,840 Technically, yes, but... 951 00:51:14,864 --> 00:51:15,924 Mother... 952 00:51:15,948 --> 00:51:18,910 But this body's just a loaner! Boy, nobody listens to me. 953 00:51:19,076 --> 00:51:23,289 Come on, man! Rob me! Don't run! Come on! I got money! You bad! 954 00:51:23,456 --> 00:51:25,100 What does that mean, he wants to be more involved 955 00:51:25,124 --> 00:51:26,310 with running the company? 956 00:51:26,334 --> 00:51:30,355 It means, he wants to be more involved 957 00:51:30,379 --> 00:51:33,025 with running the company. 958 00:51:33,049 --> 00:51:34,860 I thought you had him under control. 959 00:51:34,884 --> 00:51:36,510 I do. I mean, I did. 960 00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:38,530 I mean, I don't really know where this came from. 961 00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:40,282 It's like he's gone crazy. 962 00:51:40,306 --> 00:51:43,309 Maybe the fact you were schtupping his wife changed his attitude a little. 963 00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:46,079 Well, there's really no need to get personal. 964 00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:48,314 I'll tell you what I take personally. 965 00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:51,752 The statement, "What if we lose a few million dollars?" 966 00:51:51,776 --> 00:51:54,362 Now, I didn't get into this business to lose money. 967 00:51:55,071 --> 00:51:57,799 Do you think this goody-two-shoes crap that Wellington's been spewing 968 00:51:57,823 --> 00:52:00,677 extends to, say, auditing the company's finances? 969 00:52:00,701 --> 00:52:02,512 Oh, Jesus, I hope not. 970 00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:05,206 Blah, blah, blah, blah. Let's just kill him. 971 00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:12,546 What are you laughing about? 972 00:52:14,173 --> 00:52:16,133 Winston, do you want to take the lead on this one? 973 00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:20,697 Cisco, you know what I need you to do? 974 00:52:20,721 --> 00:52:23,533 I need you to get in contact with a man named Whitney Daniels. 975 00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:26,894 He lives on 104th and Lenox. Tell him I need to talk to him. 976 00:52:32,525 --> 00:52:34,277 No, thank you. 977 00:52:37,947 --> 00:52:40,908 Pretty sweet, huh? Up here, Mr. Daniels. 978 00:52:45,705 --> 00:52:49,292 Entering second floor. Entering second floor. 979 00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:51,478 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 980 00:52:51,502 --> 00:52:54,564 I saw this girl the other day. She was ugly. 981 00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:57,234 She's so ugly, she's talking about give her a booty call. 982 00:52:57,258 --> 00:53:00,362 I said, "Girl, you so ugly, I'm gonna give you a zootie call." 983 00:53:00,386 --> 00:53:03,055 What the hell do you think you're doing here, huh? 984 00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:05,033 This isn't your act. 985 00:53:05,057 --> 00:53:08,686 Calm down. Hey! Everybody, Whitney Daniels! 986 00:53:10,646 --> 00:53:11,689 Shut up! 987 00:53:12,732 --> 00:53:14,793 Hey, you guys have been great, 988 00:53:14,817 --> 00:53:16,617 but we're gonna take a little break right now. 989 00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:19,864 All right. Come on, everybody. Let's get back to work. Come on. 990 00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:24,452 What the hell is going on here? 991 00:53:24,618 --> 00:53:27,347 I know it looks kind of crazy, 992 00:53:27,371 --> 00:53:30,183 but if I'm gonna get one of those last amateur spots at the Apollo, 993 00:53:30,207 --> 00:53:31,709 I'm gonna need a place to work out. 994 00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:35,421 You wanna do one of the amateur spots at the Apollo? 995 00:53:36,380 --> 00:53:37,757 You? 996 00:53:38,424 --> 00:53:41,737 What do you do, have your butlers go hang around comedy clubs 997 00:53:41,761 --> 00:53:43,113 and steal people's acts? 998 00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:45,449 - You think my act is stolen? - I know it is. 999 00:53:45,473 --> 00:53:48,035 Personally, I would have stolen some better material. 1000 00:53:48,059 --> 00:53:50,912 But the kid who wrote it, he used to work it pretty well, and... 1001 00:53:50,936 --> 00:53:53,248 Two Rheingolds coming at ya. 1002 00:53:53,272 --> 00:53:54,899 Thanks a lot, Cisco. 1003 00:53:57,193 --> 00:54:00,029 Damn, you took everything from the kid, huh? 1004 00:54:00,654 --> 00:54:04,926 Don't tell me that Rheingold is all you can afford, Mr. Wellington. 1005 00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:06,786 Whit, I didn't steal anything. 1006 00:54:06,952 --> 00:54:08,930 I just want to play the Apollo, 1007 00:54:08,954 --> 00:54:10,932 and you're the only man who can help me do it. 1008 00:54:10,956 --> 00:54:13,000 No. I'm out of the comedy business. 1009 00:54:14,001 --> 00:54:16,420 Last person I was gonna help is dead. 1010 00:54:16,921 --> 00:54:19,006 But, anyway, he was a special case. 1011 00:54:19,673 --> 00:54:22,986 Really? What was so special about him? 1012 00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:25,721 About him? Nothing, really, if you want to know. 1013 00:54:26,138 --> 00:54:28,891 He didn't have much talent to speak of. 1014 00:54:29,183 --> 00:54:32,412 But no matter how bad it went, 1015 00:54:32,436 --> 00:54:36,249 and, believe me, sometimes it went really bad, 1016 00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:37,900 he wanted to get back onstage. 1017 00:54:40,277 --> 00:54:41,862 He was a good kid. 1018 00:54:42,655 --> 00:54:45,533 And I wanted to be there when things got good for him, but... 1019 00:54:49,286 --> 00:54:50,704 But I guess that won't happen now. 1020 00:54:54,834 --> 00:54:56,186 Thanks for the beer. 1021 00:54:56,210 --> 00:54:58,212 Whitney, it's me, Lance. 1022 00:54:59,296 --> 00:55:03,151 I got hit by a truck and I went up to Heaven, 1023 00:55:03,175 --> 00:55:04,945 and they took my body quick. 1024 00:55:04,969 --> 00:55:06,988 And I'm in Heaven, and it's all blue. 1025 00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:10,242 And this guy... And then the other guy, Mr. King, 1026 00:55:10,266 --> 00:55:12,327 he kind of looked like Ricky Ricardo and 1027 00:55:12,351 --> 00:55:16,998 I don't know if it's drugs you're taking or drugs you need to be taking, 1028 00:55:17,022 --> 00:55:18,607 but do something. 1029 00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:24,447 Whitney, remember when we did that gig in Atlantic City? 1030 00:55:25,364 --> 00:55:28,909 They were supposed to pay us 500, but they only gave us 250. 1031 00:55:29,076 --> 00:55:31,829 And we got real drunk and hung out with these two girls? 1032 00:55:32,121 --> 00:55:34,790 We got so drunk, we thought they was transvestites. 1033 00:55:35,249 --> 00:55:39,396 Turns out they weren't transvestites. They were just two real ugly girls. 1034 00:55:39,420 --> 00:55:41,481 So, then we brought 'em back to the hotel, 1035 00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:43,650 hung out with 'em, fell asleep. 1036 00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:45,593 When we woke up, what did we find out? 1037 00:55:46,260 --> 00:55:47,779 They robbed us! 1038 00:55:47,803 --> 00:55:51,182 Yeah, man! They... They... 1039 00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,275 Booey! Yeah! 1040 00:56:02,568 --> 00:56:04,028 Yeah! 1041 00:56:04,403 --> 00:56:07,632 - This is impossible. - What's so impossible about it? 1042 00:56:07,656 --> 00:56:09,426 You've been going to church your whole life. 1043 00:56:09,450 --> 00:56:11,720 You've been putting money in the collection plate every week. 1044 00:56:11,744 --> 00:56:13,913 This is just your tax dollars at work. 1045 00:56:15,498 --> 00:56:17,267 Wait a minute. God... 1046 00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:19,877 What's God like? Does he have a sense of humor? 1047 00:56:20,127 --> 00:56:23,106 You know, I haven't met God, but the Devil got some good weed. 1048 00:56:23,130 --> 00:56:24,548 I'm just joking. 1049 00:56:25,090 --> 00:56:26,634 Just playing, man. 1050 00:56:26,926 --> 00:56:31,072 I haven't even met him yet, but I met this guy Mr. King. 1051 00:56:31,096 --> 00:56:32,699 He's kind of like the manager up there. 1052 00:56:32,723 --> 00:56:34,451 Manager? Wait... 1053 00:56:34,475 --> 00:56:35,559 Lance! 1054 00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,978 Just because you built a comedy club in your own home, 1055 00:56:38,145 --> 00:56:39,915 it doesn't mean you can pull this off. 1056 00:56:39,939 --> 00:56:42,399 You got to work your material in front of a real audience. 1057 00:56:43,943 --> 00:56:46,987 I got an audience. I mean, you heard me getting laughs. 1058 00:57:05,256 --> 00:57:06,465 Okay. What else do we got? 1059 00:57:07,132 --> 00:57:09,361 "Your mother has so much hair under her arms," 1060 00:57:09,385 --> 00:57:11,470 "it looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock." 1061 00:57:20,938 --> 00:57:23,124 You know what I like about telling jokes? It's pure. 1062 00:57:23,148 --> 00:57:26,235 It's like Boxing 101. You versus the audience. 1063 00:57:26,527 --> 00:57:28,588 It's not like music. Nobody cares what you look like. 1064 00:57:28,612 --> 00:57:30,573 Nobody cares what you're wearing. 1065 00:57:30,948 --> 00:57:33,826 People just want to know if you're funny. Can you bring it? 1066 00:57:34,702 --> 00:57:38,330 And I just wanna go to the Apollo and bring it one time. 1067 00:57:39,206 --> 00:57:41,685 What about that stuff you were saying at the hospital? 1068 00:57:41,709 --> 00:57:45,254 People think that stuff every day, but you never hear anybody say it. 1069 00:57:45,629 --> 00:57:46,630 I was just talking. 1070 00:57:47,339 --> 00:57:49,008 Yeah, but it worked. 1071 00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,344 - What do you mean, worked? - It was funny. 1072 00:58:07,359 --> 00:58:08,861 What's up, G? 1073 00:58:13,574 --> 00:58:15,409 Welcome home, G. 1074 00:58:16,035 --> 00:58:17,411 What are you doing? 1075 00:58:18,537 --> 00:58:20,080 Backin' that ass up. 1076 00:58:22,791 --> 00:58:24,793 How about you and me knock boots? 1077 00:58:26,670 --> 00:58:30,799 It's just, you know, I've noticed lately you've been into the whole. 1078 00:58:31,842 --> 00:58:34,219 - "Jet magazine" thing and... - Listen. 1079 00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,013 I want a divorce. 1080 00:58:36,764 --> 00:58:38,617 Is it because I tried to jack you? 1081 00:58:38,641 --> 00:58:42,436 No, no, no. It's got nothing to do with you trying to jack me. 1082 00:58:43,103 --> 00:58:46,190 The truth is, there's somebody else. 1083 00:58:48,025 --> 00:58:49,276 Ya got another ho. 1084 00:58:49,777 --> 00:58:51,612 Look, just divorce me. 1085 00:58:51,945 --> 00:58:53,906 You can have the house, the car... 1086 00:58:54,073 --> 00:58:56,575 You can have whatever you want. I don't want it. 1087 00:58:57,826 --> 00:58:59,662 - Word? - Word. 1088 00:59:00,788 --> 00:59:03,040 You know, you're a great person inside. 1089 00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:06,877 And you need to get in touch with the person inside. 1090 00:59:07,795 --> 00:59:11,090 And until you do that, you need to stay inside. 1091 00:59:12,508 --> 00:59:14,259 So, take care, all right? 1092 00:59:17,513 --> 00:59:19,223 He's lost his mind. 1093 00:59:20,182 --> 00:59:21,951 All right, your next act, ladies and gentlemen. 1094 00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:25,497 He loves comedy so much, he bought the whole damn club. 1095 00:59:25,521 --> 00:59:28,583 Please put your hands together for Charles Wellington III. 1096 00:59:28,607 --> 00:59:30,526 - You all right? - Yeah, I'm all right. 1097 00:59:31,026 --> 00:59:32,069 - You ready? - I'm ready. 1098 00:59:32,236 --> 00:59:33,713 - How you feel? Great. - I feel good. 1099 00:59:33,737 --> 00:59:36,323 'Cause they're here, the judges from the Apollo. 1100 00:59:36,865 --> 00:59:38,505 Charles Wellington, ladies and gentlemen. 1101 00:59:42,955 --> 00:59:44,498 How're you doing? All right. 1102 00:59:45,874 --> 00:59:48,210 When I was a kid, we were so poor 1103 00:59:48,585 --> 00:59:52,673 that the roaches was on welfare. 1104 00:59:52,923 --> 00:59:54,299 Poor, my ass. 1105 00:59:54,633 --> 00:59:56,802 Get off the stage, you fake Bill Gates. 1106 01:00:01,974 --> 01:00:03,809 Yeah, we was real poor. 1107 01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:08,480 We were so poor that the rats had bald spots. 1108 01:00:08,731 --> 01:00:11,000 Crap. Cripitty-crap-crap. 1109 01:00:11,024 --> 01:00:12,919 I'm supposed to sit here and listen to this crap 1110 01:00:12,943 --> 01:00:14,778 just because you own the club? 1111 01:00:15,237 --> 01:00:16,548 Rich son of a bitch. 1112 01:00:16,572 --> 01:00:18,574 That's comedy. That's comedy. 1113 01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:21,326 Drinks for everybody. That, my friend, is comedy. 1114 01:00:21,702 --> 01:00:22,911 All right? 1115 01:00:24,913 --> 01:00:26,790 Shut up before I crush you with my wallet. 1116 01:00:29,251 --> 01:00:30,353 Bothering me on the job. 1117 01:00:30,377 --> 01:00:32,379 Do I come to your job and bother you? 1118 01:00:32,546 --> 01:00:35,191 Do I kick the squeegee out your hand? No. 1119 01:00:35,215 --> 01:00:36,943 I leave it right there. 1120 01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:39,344 Let you get all the cars all day long. 1121 01:00:41,597 --> 01:00:44,075 I didn't always have money. 1122 01:00:44,099 --> 01:00:46,977 No, no, no. When I was a kid, we really was poor. 1123 01:00:47,227 --> 01:00:50,123 We really was broke. When I was a kid, we were so broke... 1124 01:00:50,147 --> 01:00:51,833 My dad was the cheapest man on earth. 1125 01:00:51,857 --> 01:00:55,903 My father's so cheap that when we went to bed, he'd unplug the clocks. 1126 01:00:59,364 --> 01:01:01,825 "You can't tell time when you asleep." 1127 01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:08,207 And the last spot for the Apollo's final show goes to... 1128 01:01:08,916 --> 01:01:11,686 Billionaire Charles Wellington from New York City. 1129 01:01:11,710 --> 01:01:13,271 And to make the night right, 1130 01:01:13,295 --> 01:01:15,047 closing out the show will be Brian McKnight. 1131 01:01:16,381 --> 01:01:20,427 Boy, I don't know what got into that Wellington, but I like him. 1132 01:01:32,231 --> 01:01:35,251 Fur is murder! Fur is murder! 1133 01:01:35,275 --> 01:01:37,754 - Fur is murder! - Fur is murder! 1134 01:01:37,778 --> 01:01:40,113 I'm gonna show you murder! 1135 01:01:42,449 --> 01:01:44,201 Don't be stingy. 1136 01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:48,932 Stick to the soft stuff. You can gum it. 1137 01:01:48,956 --> 01:01:50,207 Kiss my ass. 1138 01:01:50,916 --> 01:01:52,852 I'm so glad we're giving back to the community. 1139 01:01:52,876 --> 01:01:54,795 Put on the hat. Put it on. 1140 01:01:56,129 --> 01:01:58,358 So, I still got to get onstage and not get booed off. 1141 01:01:58,382 --> 01:02:00,509 Well, you're doing pretty good. 1142 01:02:01,093 --> 01:02:02,695 Thank you for the party, Mr. Wellington. 1143 01:02:02,719 --> 01:02:03,720 No problem, sickie. 1144 01:02:03,887 --> 01:02:06,223 - You take care, you sick bastard. - Thank you. 1145 01:02:08,141 --> 01:02:10,018 See what you got here. 1146 01:02:10,269 --> 01:02:12,688 Damn, you're sick! You're a sick man! 1147 01:02:12,938 --> 01:02:15,917 Nurse, let's get this man a table dance, let's get it right now! 1148 01:02:15,941 --> 01:02:16,941 Yes, sir. 1149 01:02:19,653 --> 01:02:20,863 So, will you marry me? 1150 01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:22,739 - What? - Sontee, 1151 01:02:23,031 --> 01:02:25,927 I love looking at you, I love talking to you, 1152 01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:27,202 I love laughing with you. 1153 01:02:27,369 --> 01:02:29,472 You know, sometimes when I can't find you, 1154 01:02:29,496 --> 01:02:31,474 I call your house just to listen to your answering machine 1155 01:02:31,498 --> 01:02:33,726 because I love your voice. 1156 01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:38,338 The cars, the money, all this stuff, I'd give it all up just for you. 1157 01:02:38,839 --> 01:02:42,134 You know, today I changed the diaper of an 86-year-old man, 1158 01:02:42,968 --> 01:02:44,803 and I'd give it all up just for you. 1159 01:02:45,304 --> 01:02:46,471 That's a big sacrifice. 1160 01:02:47,514 --> 01:02:48,515 Mr. Barton? 1161 01:02:54,021 --> 01:02:55,898 - What? - Nothing. 1162 01:02:58,108 --> 01:03:00,461 - Hold that thought. - Okay. 1163 01:03:00,485 --> 01:03:02,237 I'll be right back. 1164 01:03:04,573 --> 01:03:06,617 - I said hold that thought. - Okay. 1165 01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:20,773 Keyes, what are you doing? Get out of here. You're death-ing up the place. 1166 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,651 Lance, you got to come with me. You can't stay in this body. 1167 01:03:23,675 --> 01:03:26,720 Can't you see I'm busy? Go have yourself some ribs. 1168 01:03:27,888 --> 01:03:29,973 Hey, I'm not the bad guy here! 1169 01:03:31,266 --> 01:03:32,893 Can I take my hands down now? 1170 01:03:33,060 --> 01:03:35,145 Yes, you can take your hands down. 1171 01:03:36,396 --> 01:03:38,082 So, you really want to get married? 1172 01:03:38,106 --> 01:03:40,376 I really want to get married. 1173 01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:42,653 I mean, just look at me. You know I'm not lying. 1174 01:03:43,904 --> 01:03:45,072 I know. 1175 01:03:45,697 --> 01:03:47,532 There's something about your eyes. 1176 01:03:48,575 --> 01:03:51,703 Sontee, I just want to remember all of this. 1177 01:03:52,454 --> 01:03:55,683 I don't want you to forget me. You're not gonna forget me, right? 1178 01:03:55,707 --> 01:03:57,685 You act like something's gonna happen. 1179 01:03:57,709 --> 01:04:00,063 Nothing's gonna happen. I'm just saying, though, 1180 01:04:00,087 --> 01:04:04,442 if something did happen, like, someday you met a guy, 1181 01:04:04,466 --> 01:04:07,612 it could be a black guy, a white guy, a Spanish guy. 1182 01:04:07,636 --> 01:04:10,823 I mean, if he was sincere, you'd give him a shot, right? 1183 01:04:10,847 --> 01:04:13,266 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What are you talking about? 1184 01:04:21,650 --> 01:04:22,901 Everything's all right. 1185 01:04:23,944 --> 01:04:25,362 Everything's all right. 1186 01:04:30,033 --> 01:04:31,636 So, you brought the big gun, huh? 1187 01:04:31,660 --> 01:04:33,912 You gotta play by the rules, Lance, like everybody else. 1188 01:04:34,079 --> 01:04:36,766 I played by the rules my whole life and I'm sick of it. 1189 01:04:36,790 --> 01:04:38,768 From now on, I make the rules. 1190 01:04:38,792 --> 01:04:40,103 No one makes these rules, kid. 1191 01:04:40,127 --> 01:04:42,105 Yeah, but you make all the mistakes, right? 1192 01:04:42,129 --> 01:04:44,840 Every time I get something going, you take my body. 1193 01:04:45,048 --> 01:04:47,759 This was just a temporary setup. The clock ran out. 1194 01:04:50,053 --> 01:04:52,907 I'm not scared of you, King. I got lawyers now. I got money. 1195 01:04:52,931 --> 01:04:55,576 - Makes no difference. - But I can't go now. 1196 01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,103 I'm supposed to play the Apollo, and I'm in love. 1197 01:04:58,270 --> 01:04:59,414 This is bigger than that. 1198 01:04:59,438 --> 01:05:00,915 Nothing's bigger than that. 1199 01:05:00,939 --> 01:05:02,125 This is fate. 1200 01:05:02,149 --> 01:05:04,669 How come every time something bad happens to me, it's fate? 1201 01:05:04,693 --> 01:05:06,921 And every time something good happens to me, it's luck? 1202 01:05:06,945 --> 01:05:09,698 Is anything good supposed to happen to me? 1203 01:05:12,576 --> 01:05:13,577 No. 1204 01:05:17,122 --> 01:05:18,790 Somebody call 911! 1205 01:05:25,797 --> 01:05:28,985 Sorry, Lance. I tried to warn you. 1206 01:05:29,009 --> 01:05:30,820 King, you got to get me back. 1207 01:05:30,844 --> 01:05:33,072 No dice. We had a deal. 1208 01:05:33,096 --> 01:05:35,700 I'll do anything. I'll be anybody. 1209 01:05:35,724 --> 01:05:37,326 There'll be consequences. 1210 01:05:37,350 --> 01:05:40,103 I'll take 'em. Just get me back! 1211 01:05:58,622 --> 01:05:59,706 Hello, Sontee. 1212 01:06:02,209 --> 01:06:05,545 I just can't believe he's gone, just like that. 1213 01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:11,593 He's not gone, Sontee. 1214 01:06:12,177 --> 01:06:14,781 I know in a way he's gonna live on, but... 1215 01:06:14,805 --> 01:06:16,348 No, no, honestly. 1216 01:06:17,057 --> 01:06:19,684 You think you loved Charles Wellington, 1217 01:06:19,851 --> 01:06:23,105 but really, you loved someone inside of him. 1218 01:06:24,022 --> 01:06:25,857 He didn't die tonight. 1219 01:06:26,274 --> 01:06:28,401 He's living on somewhere. 1220 01:06:28,902 --> 01:06:32,405 I'm sure of it. And he'll always remember us. 1221 01:06:33,573 --> 01:06:36,076 - So, what are we doing here? - This is your future, kid. 1222 01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:40,264 - You mean, I'm gonna be Joe Guy? - That's the plan. 1223 01:06:40,288 --> 01:06:41,933 But I don't want to take his life. 1224 01:06:41,957 --> 01:06:44,352 He's about to play the Apollo. He's a nice guy. 1225 01:06:44,376 --> 01:06:47,563 That's his destiny, this is yours. It'll all work out for the best. 1226 01:06:47,587 --> 01:06:51,007 I'm not so sure with you. Look out, Joe! 1227 01:07:12,571 --> 01:07:13,822 Air bags. 1228 01:07:15,282 --> 01:07:16,533 Air bags. 1229 01:07:18,285 --> 01:07:20,036 Taxi! Taxi! 1230 01:07:20,412 --> 01:07:21,454 Hey! 1231 01:07:23,248 --> 01:07:24,291 Taxil. 1232 01:07:25,417 --> 01:07:27,711 Taxi! Taxi! 1233 01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:32,966 Taxi! Taxi, taxi, taxi! 1234 01:07:36,511 --> 01:07:38,054 I'm black again! 1235 01:07:39,222 --> 01:07:42,976 I'm black again! I'm a black man! 1236 01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:46,622 Thank God I'm a black man! 1237 01:07:46,646 --> 01:07:49,208 Police are questioning Winston Sklar, 1238 01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,919 who worked for Wellington, in relation to the murder. 1239 01:07:51,943 --> 01:07:54,922 To the people who knew him, Charles Wellington was two men. 1240 01:07:54,946 --> 01:07:57,592 A ruthless, cutthroat businessman, 1241 01:07:57,616 --> 01:07:59,993 and more recently, a kind philanthropist. 1242 01:08:00,368 --> 01:08:02,722 That man who got shot in the park today, 1243 01:08:02,746 --> 01:08:04,706 that wasn't no Charles Wellington. 1244 01:08:05,123 --> 01:08:08,186 That Wellington, he was always a cheap 1245 01:08:08,210 --> 01:08:11,230 no-good mother... with a stick up his... 1246 01:08:11,254 --> 01:08:14,483 Now, the man in the park today, he was somebody else. 1247 01:08:14,507 --> 01:08:17,510 He was my brother. I loved that man. 1248 01:08:17,969 --> 01:08:19,554 Chuck Wellington. 1249 01:08:19,804 --> 01:08:22,098 There will never be another one like him. 1250 01:08:23,308 --> 01:08:24,434 I can't believe he's gone. 1251 01:08:24,601 --> 01:08:26,978 All right, that's it. He's done. No more questions. 1252 01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:31,626 Thanks, Ted. Charles Wellington III, dead at the age of 53. 1253 01:08:31,650 --> 01:08:35,504 He leaves behind his wife Amber, a dog, Elle, and a sizable 1254 01:08:35,528 --> 01:08:39,508 I don't want you to forget me. You're not gonna forget me, right? 1255 01:08:39,532 --> 01:08:41,785 There's something about your eyes. 1256 01:08:42,869 --> 01:08:44,496 Everything's all right. 1257 01:08:44,955 --> 01:08:46,414 Everything's all right. 1258 01:08:46,790 --> 01:08:49,101 The eccentric billionaire left the bulk of his estate 1259 01:08:49,125 --> 01:08:51,812 to a number of city charities, his personal friends, 1260 01:08:51,836 --> 01:08:53,838 and his loyal domestic staff. 1261 01:08:54,506 --> 01:08:56,817 Well, it's 'Showtime at the Apollo' one last time 1262 01:08:56,841 --> 01:09:00,303 as the venerable Harlem institution closes its doors for good. 1263 01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:03,139 I'm not wakin' up tomorrow mornin' 1264 01:09:03,723 --> 01:09:07,018 And findin' that there's nobody there. 1265 01:09:07,936 --> 01:09:10,248 No, no, no, no way... 1266 01:09:10,272 --> 01:09:13,125 Hey, Whitney. I haven't seen you in a while. 1267 01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:15,902 - What ya doin' backstage? - How about a loan? 1268 01:09:16,069 --> 01:09:17,755 No. Stop it. 1269 01:09:17,779 --> 01:09:20,615 I'm... Guess I'm just hangin' out. 1270 01:09:21,241 --> 01:09:23,326 Yeah. I miss Booey, too. 1271 01:09:23,743 --> 01:09:25,245 Love me. 1272 01:09:26,371 --> 01:09:27,372 Thank you. 1273 01:09:32,085 --> 01:09:34,480 Phil Quon, Apollo. Phil Quon. 1274 01:09:34,504 --> 01:09:36,423 - Lance? - No, I'm Phil. 1275 01:09:37,549 --> 01:09:38,734 Sorry. 1276 01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:41,696 All right, how about a hand for your next act, Mr. Joe Guy? 1277 01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:42,929 Give it up for Joe Guy. 1278 01:09:44,723 --> 01:09:46,599 - Hey, Whit. - Hey, Joe. 1279 01:10:00,196 --> 01:10:01,823 Make me laugh! 1280 01:10:03,575 --> 01:10:05,785 Apollo! Yeah! 1281 01:10:07,912 --> 01:10:09,956 So, what is it all about? 1282 01:10:10,332 --> 01:10:12,893 Looks? Looks will determine everything. 1283 01:10:12,917 --> 01:10:16,188 You know, you want people to judge you by your character, 1284 01:10:16,212 --> 01:10:19,674 you know, what you feel inside, but nobody cares. 1285 01:10:19,966 --> 01:10:22,052 People, all they care about is your looks. 1286 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:24,071 I'm sorry, if you look good, you're gonna have a good life. 1287 01:10:24,095 --> 01:10:26,490 You look bad, you better work on it. 1288 01:10:26,514 --> 01:10:29,893 That's right, the uglier you are, the smarter you better be. 1289 01:10:30,852 --> 01:10:33,104 For every 10 pounds you are overweight, 1290 01:10:33,271 --> 01:10:34,856 you better pick up a book. 1291 01:10:35,190 --> 01:10:38,610 Or you better get two books, and get a computer while you're at it. 1292 01:10:44,449 --> 01:10:45,575 Lance? 1293 01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:47,994 Yeah. 1294 01:10:48,953 --> 01:10:51,599 That's right. I was at the Knicks game the other day. 1295 01:10:51,623 --> 01:10:54,935 I'm looking at the seats. The higher the seats got, 1296 01:10:54,959 --> 01:10:56,753 the uglier the people got. 1297 01:10:58,505 --> 01:11:01,275 If I was an usher, I wouldn't even need tickets. 1298 01:11:01,299 --> 01:11:04,719 I'd just look at faces. "You got to go up top!" 1299 01:11:09,057 --> 01:11:10,201 One thing I love about women. 1300 01:11:10,225 --> 01:11:13,603 Women can fall in love with an ugly man and admit it. 1301 01:11:14,646 --> 01:11:16,624 Show him off to all her friends and the family. 1302 01:11:16,648 --> 01:11:18,250 He'd be the ugliest guy in the world, 1303 01:11:18,274 --> 01:11:20,252 and they'd be so proud of their ugly man. 1304 01:11:20,276 --> 01:11:22,922 They'll hold his hand like, "I want you to meet Kevin." 1305 01:11:22,946 --> 01:11:25,424 "I just want you to meet Kevin. He's a nice guy." 1306 01:11:25,448 --> 01:11:29,702 "I know he don't look that good, but he's good to me!" 1307 01:11:30,954 --> 01:11:32,139 Women cool like that. 1308 01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:34,308 Guys would never admit to being in love with an ugly woman. 1309 01:11:34,332 --> 01:11:37,919 We'll hide it to the death! We ain't tellin' nobody! 1310 01:11:38,378 --> 01:11:40,314 That's right, we ain't tellin' nobody. 1311 01:11:40,338 --> 01:11:42,498 "Hey, man, heard you got married." "Who told you that?" 1312 01:11:44,259 --> 01:11:45,361 That's it. 1313 01:11:45,385 --> 01:11:48,948 Life! What's life all about, man? What is it all about? 1314 01:11:48,972 --> 01:11:52,368 You want, you know, love. Love, love, love, love, love. 1315 01:11:52,392 --> 01:11:54,727 You wanna be in love. You want that new love. 1316 01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:58,815 That's right. You want that... You want to feel that first kiss again. 1317 01:11:59,399 --> 01:12:02,318 That's right, 'cause that's the only real kiss in a relationship, 1318 01:12:02,694 --> 01:12:04,362 is the first kiss. 1319 01:12:04,529 --> 01:12:08,158 That's right. All the rest of the kisses, they're just, they're just protocol. 1320 01:12:08,825 --> 01:12:12,930 Every other kiss is just protocol. That's all it is, just routine. 1321 01:12:12,954 --> 01:12:15,582 Hey! You was gone. You back. 1322 01:12:15,832 --> 01:12:17,893 Hey, we having sex. 1323 01:12:17,917 --> 01:12:19,854 Hey, I miss you. 1324 01:12:19,878 --> 01:12:23,858 It's all routine. The first kiss is the only real one, 1325 01:12:23,882 --> 01:12:27,361 'cause it always happens, like, in the middle of a conversation. 1326 01:12:27,385 --> 01:12:29,697 You don't even know what you're talking about. "Yeah, you know." 1327 01:12:29,721 --> 01:12:32,932 "Maybe someday I was thinking about maybe trying to get the Acura..." 1328 01:12:36,227 --> 01:12:40,082 You never know! The first kiss is always like double Dutch. 1329 01:12:40,106 --> 01:12:42,418 You're just sitting there like, "When do I get in? When do I get in?" 1330 01:12:42,442 --> 01:12:44,128 "When do I get in? When do I get in? When do I get in?" 1331 01:12:44,152 --> 01:12:47,214 "I'm kissing! I'm kissing! I'm kissing! I'm kissing! I'm kissing!" 1332 01:12:47,238 --> 01:12:48,740 "I'm kissing! I'm kissing!" 1333 01:12:49,574 --> 01:12:51,159 Hey, I got to go. Y'all be good. 1334 01:12:56,998 --> 01:12:58,374 I'm loving this. 1335 01:13:00,084 --> 01:13:01,461 That's my dawg. 1336 01:13:07,258 --> 01:13:09,820 Joe Guy, ladies and gentlemen. Joe Guy. 1337 01:13:09,844 --> 01:13:13,532 The next act is also a comedian. How about a hand for Mr. Mike Green! 1338 01:13:13,556 --> 01:13:14,556 Whitney. 1339 01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,101 Lance. 1340 01:13:19,437 --> 01:13:21,773 They didn't boo. They didn't boo! 1341 01:13:23,107 --> 01:13:25,544 Why don't they make the whole damn thing out of a black box? 1342 01:13:25,568 --> 01:13:26,928 You know, that way they'd find it. 1343 01:13:27,070 --> 01:13:29,781 We are back in business, huh? 1344 01:13:30,490 --> 01:13:32,450 I'm back, Whit. You and me. 1345 01:13:33,493 --> 01:13:36,371 Lance, I'm proud of you. 1346 01:13:44,963 --> 01:13:47,382 - Lance. - Mr. King. 1347 01:13:47,924 --> 01:13:49,944 - Keyes. - Hey, Lance, congratulations. 1348 01:13:49,968 --> 01:13:51,654 You killed 'em! 1349 01:13:51,678 --> 01:13:52,738 We're cool, right? 1350 01:13:52,762 --> 01:13:54,532 We're cool, man. We're real cool. 1351 01:13:54,556 --> 01:13:55,848 Lance, we got to talk. 1352 01:13:56,224 --> 01:13:59,352 Remember our deal? Wellington was just a temporary setup. 1353 01:13:59,644 --> 01:14:02,498 This is the real thing. This is your body. 1354 01:14:02,522 --> 01:14:04,899 It's time to set up house, kid, 'cause this is you. 1355 01:14:05,066 --> 01:14:08,146 All right, I'll sign the lease right now. I'll give you two months in advance. 1356 01:14:08,528 --> 01:14:11,114 Joe, that was the shiznit, son. 1357 01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:13,207 Listen to Phil Quon, kid. You about to shine. 1358 01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:15,702 Kid, listen to me. 1359 01:14:16,077 --> 01:14:18,121 When we leave, you will be Joe Guy. 1360 01:14:18,496 --> 01:14:21,016 You won't remember Keyes, you won't remember me. 1361 01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:22,434 Get out of here, man! 1362 01:14:22,458 --> 01:14:25,878 I'm gonna remember you like you whooped my ass in third grade. 1363 01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:28,983 Lance, you're not getting it. 1364 01:14:29,007 --> 01:14:32,486 You see, you won't remember Charles Wellington, Sontee. 1365 01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:34,655 You won't even remember Lance Barton. 1366 01:14:34,679 --> 01:14:36,347 You will be Joe Guy. 1367 01:14:37,682 --> 01:14:40,018 What do you mean, I won't remember Sontee? 1368 01:14:40,560 --> 01:14:42,329 - I'm sorry, Lance. - You're sorry? 1369 01:14:42,353 --> 01:14:46,608 I got hit by a truck, I got smashed by a car, I got shot, 1370 01:14:46,774 --> 01:14:48,627 and now you wanna take my soul? 1371 01:14:48,651 --> 01:14:50,004 What are you, the Blair Witch? 1372 01:14:50,028 --> 01:14:53,632 Lance, I can't take your soul. Nobody could do that. 1373 01:14:53,656 --> 01:14:56,409 Where you're from, what you look like, that's just clothing. 1374 01:14:56,701 --> 01:15:00,556 How am I supposed to get Sontee if I don't remember Sontee? 1375 01:15:00,580 --> 01:15:02,516 No, no, no, how am I supposed to get Sontee 1376 01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,393 if Sontee doesn't remember me? 1377 01:15:04,417 --> 01:15:06,729 The funny thing about reincarnation, kid, 1378 01:15:06,753 --> 01:15:09,589 even when you're not you, you're still you. 1379 01:15:09,839 --> 01:15:11,817 Don't worry. I got a good feeling about this. 1380 01:15:11,841 --> 01:15:14,069 Don't worry? I had a hard enough time 1381 01:15:14,093 --> 01:15:16,363 trying to get this girl as a rich white man. 1382 01:15:16,387 --> 01:15:19,766 Do you know how hard it's gonna be to try to get her as a broke black man? 1383 01:15:20,892 --> 01:15:22,310 See you around, Joe. 1384 01:15:23,603 --> 01:15:26,564 That's what I'm talking about. You and me on the road. 1385 01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:31,069 We could blow up, son! Joe, are you all right? 1386 01:15:31,944 --> 01:15:33,112 Lance. 1387 01:15:33,655 --> 01:15:34,923 Lance! 1388 01:15:34,947 --> 01:15:36,240 Oh, man! 1389 01:15:36,949 --> 01:15:39,577 Hey, Lance, come on, man. Let's celebrate. 1390 01:15:39,952 --> 01:15:41,329 I got some big plans for us. 1391 01:15:42,246 --> 01:15:43,373 What are you talking about? 1392 01:15:44,082 --> 01:15:47,543 Lance, come on. Nobody else is around. 1393 01:15:49,462 --> 01:15:50,782 Why do you keep calling me Lance? 1394 01:15:53,257 --> 01:15:55,843 Look at me for a second, will ya? 1395 01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:01,241 Lance. 1396 01:16:01,265 --> 01:16:02,517 Joe Guy. 1397 01:16:04,435 --> 01:16:07,230 You mean your boy, Lance Barton. 1398 01:16:08,147 --> 01:16:11,776 I'm sorry. You're still dealing with that, huh? 1399 01:16:12,151 --> 01:16:13,236 Yeah. 1400 01:16:14,153 --> 01:16:17,782 Yeah, I... Guess I am. 1401 01:16:18,741 --> 01:16:20,928 - Look, Mr. Daniels... - Whitney. 1402 01:16:20,952 --> 01:16:23,538 Okay, Whitney, I don't have a manager. 1403 01:16:23,913 --> 01:16:27,041 Would it be cool to come by your office and, like, leave a tape? 1404 01:16:27,417 --> 01:16:29,097 You know, like, maybe you could take me on? 1405 01:16:31,713 --> 01:16:35,341 Yeah. Sure. Call me tomorrow, huh? 1406 01:16:36,551 --> 01:16:37,927 You're... 1407 01:16:39,303 --> 01:16:40,930 You're a good kid. 1408 01:16:41,681 --> 01:16:43,766 Thanks a lot. I'm gonna call you tomorrow. 1409 01:16:43,933 --> 01:16:45,244 Right. 1410 01:16:45,268 --> 01:16:46,912 - Joe Guy. - Joe Guy. 1411 01:16:46,936 --> 01:16:48,706 Don't act like you don't know me. 1412 01:16:48,730 --> 01:16:50,124 No, man. 1413 01:16:50,148 --> 01:16:52,835 And you know what? If you don't like the tape, 1414 01:16:52,859 --> 01:16:53,919 keep it to yourself. 1415 01:16:53,943 --> 01:16:55,295 Right, right. 1416 01:16:55,319 --> 01:16:56,320 It's gonna be all right. 1417 01:17:03,035 --> 01:17:05,288 Excuse me. I'm looking for Whitney Daniels. 1418 01:17:05,788 --> 01:17:08,767 Whitney Daniels? Yeah, just go straight. 1419 01:17:08,791 --> 01:17:11,252 You make a right and go down the stairs. 1420 01:17:11,419 --> 01:17:14,273 When you get by the dressing rooms, he should be there. 1421 01:17:14,297 --> 01:17:15,465 Thanks. 1422 01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:19,677 I'm sorry, but do you think they'll let me back there? 1423 01:17:20,178 --> 01:17:22,513 Yeah, sure. The show's been over for about an hour. 1424 01:17:23,306 --> 01:17:25,075 Do I know you? 1425 01:17:25,099 --> 01:17:26,285 No. 1426 01:17:26,309 --> 01:17:28,603 No, no, seriously. I'm not joking. 1427 01:17:29,228 --> 01:17:31,773 I just feel like I've met you before. 1428 01:17:33,232 --> 01:17:34,358 Joe. 1429 01:17:36,027 --> 01:17:38,321 - Joe Guy. - Sontee Jenkins. 1430 01:17:38,696 --> 01:17:39,864 Sontee. 1431 01:17:41,199 --> 01:17:42,366 Thanks. 1432 01:17:49,290 --> 01:17:53,002 Last call at the Apollo. We better get out of here before they lock us in. 1433 01:17:53,169 --> 01:17:55,880 Give me your hand. I know my way around here. 1434 01:17:56,881 --> 01:17:59,342 Don't be scared. Everything's all right. 1435 01:18:00,051 --> 01:18:01,886 What did you just say? 1436 01:18:02,845 --> 01:18:04,531 Everything's all right. Like the song. 1437 01:18:04,555 --> 01:18:06,533 Everything is all right. 1438 01:18:06,557 --> 01:18:09,268 It's just that when you said that, it... 1439 01:18:09,435 --> 01:18:11,121 You're a comedian? 1440 01:18:11,145 --> 01:18:13,165 Do I sing that bad? 1441 01:18:13,189 --> 01:18:16,359 No, you were on tonight. How'd you do? 1442 01:18:17,777 --> 01:18:19,320 They didn't boo. 1443 01:18:20,446 --> 01:18:22,174 You know, they got this after party 1444 01:18:22,198 --> 01:18:23,926 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hold you up. 1445 01:18:23,950 --> 01:18:25,135 No, no, no, no, no. 1446 01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:27,596 I don't really feel like going to the after party. 1447 01:18:27,620 --> 01:18:29,431 You wanna get something to eat? 1448 01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:31,332 Are you asking me out? 1449 01:18:32,542 --> 01:18:34,418 No, I just want to feed you. 1450 01:18:35,711 --> 01:18:38,464 Yeah. I'm starved. 1451 01:18:42,593 --> 01:18:44,387 - Nice shoes. - Thank you. 1452 01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:48,325 - So, what do you do? - I'm into medicine. 1453 01:18:48,349 --> 01:18:49,725 What are you, a drug dealer? 1454 01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:51,620 Watch it. No. 1455 01:18:51,644 --> 01:18:54,748 Actually, I own Brooklyn Community Hospital. 1456 01:18:54,772 --> 01:18:58,585 You own a hospital? I know Brooklyn Community. 1457 01:18:58,609 --> 01:19:00,170 My uncle went there for a new liver. 1458 01:19:00,194 --> 01:19:02,506 They sent his ass to the supermarket. 1459 01:19:02,530 --> 01:19:05,241 Hello, Sontee. How're you doing, sir? 1460 01:19:05,867 --> 01:19:07,493 - This your ride? - Yeah. 1461 01:19:08,202 --> 01:19:10,562 Well, if you want to keep it, you better get it out of here. 1462 01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:13,124 - This is nice! - Thank you, Cisco. 1463 01:19:13,958 --> 01:19:16,002 What kind of mileage you get on this? 1464 01:19:16,294 --> 01:19:17,920 Pretty good. 1465 01:19:24,010 --> 01:19:25,928 Cocktails, Miss Jenkins? 1466 01:19:26,637 --> 01:19:29,265 - So, are you the maid? - The maid? 1467 01:19:29,473 --> 01:19:31,726 Do I look like the maid? I'm the paid. 1468 01:19:32,226 --> 01:19:33,811 This is my friend Wanda. 1469 01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:36,331 And look at you. Let you out of the car for a minute, 1470 01:19:36,355 --> 01:19:38,482 and you're out there picking up strays. 1471 01:19:38,816 --> 01:19:40,544 Did you know your coat's bleeding? 1472 01:19:40,568 --> 01:19:41,903 Mind your business. 1473 01:20:01,589 --> 01:20:03,692 - You okay, Sontee? - I'm okay. You okay? 1474 01:20:03,716 --> 01:20:05,360 - Yeah, I'm okay. - Cisco, you okay? 1475 01:20:05,384 --> 01:20:08,930 - I'm okay. Wanda, you okay? - Hell, no! I spilled my drink. 1476 01:20:09,180 --> 01:20:11,891 You know what? You drink, I'm gonna drive. 1477 01:20:15,394 --> 01:20:16,994 Didn't I tell you to keep an eye on him? 1478 01:20:17,063 --> 01:20:18,498 Yes, sir. I'm so sorry, sir. 1479 01:20:18,522 --> 01:20:20,542 You know, I was tying my shoe, and when I looked up, it was... 1480 01:20:20,566 --> 01:20:21,646 It won't happen again, sir. 1481 01:20:22,944 --> 01:20:24,403 Cisco, you got any music? 1482 01:20:25,404 --> 01:20:26,697 Here you go. 1483 01:20:32,536 --> 01:20:36,141 Rollin' down the street smokin' indo. 1484 01:20:36,165 --> 01:20:38,393 Sippin' on gin and juice. 1485 01:20:38,417 --> 01:20:39,770 Laid back. 1486 01:20:39,794 --> 01:20:42,463 With my mind on my money and my money on my mind