1 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,842 What'd you do?What? 2 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,714 Don't give me that. What'd you do? 3 00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:19,932 Nothing. 4 00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,325 Mom, I'm trying to study. 5 00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:22,718 Oh. 6 00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:26,069 Then I'm sure you don't mind if I, uh... 7 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,679 took a look in here. 8 00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,247 Mom, I'm telling you. 9 00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,857 We didn't do anything. 10 00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,468 Oh, you boys are up to something. 11 00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:35,209 I can smell it. 12 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:42,433 If you've broken another window, it is gonna come out of your... 13 00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:43,565 Are you done? 14 00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,045 You want to frisk me? 15 00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:49,353 You just consider yourselves lucky. 16 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,181 This time. 17 00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:08,155 That was close. 18 00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:11,984 Either she's losing her touch, or we're getting better. 19 00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:16,163 ♪ Yes, no, maybe 20 00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,513 ♪ I don't know 21 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:21,124 ♪ Can you repeat the question? 22 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,300 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 23 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:26,608 ♪ And you're not so big 24 00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:28,784 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 25 00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:31,047 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 26 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,136 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 27 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:36,400 ♪ And you're not so big 28 00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:40,535 ♪ Life is unfair. 29 00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:44,974 The good thing about being smart 30 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,063 is I never have to look up any phone numbers. 31 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,021 The bad thing is no one else in the family 32 00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:51,285 ever bothers to remember anything. 33 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,330 Hey, Francis, you told me to remind you 34 00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,202 about Mom and Dad's anniversary. 35 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,159 Ah, great. 36 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,987 When is that?Today. 37 00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,511 Dude, you're supposed to remind me before 38 00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:02,078 so that I can get them something. 39 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,384 That's okay. 40 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,385 We'll put your name on our gift. 41 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,429 Cool. Thanks, man. 42 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:06,430 I owe you one. 43 00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,215 No, you owe me 20. 44 00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:09,433 That's what your share comes to. 45 00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,435 You got 'em an $80 gift? 46 00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:12,436 Uh... 47 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,612 Yeah. 48 00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,621 Oh, Craig. 49 00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:25,232 Happy anniversary. 50 00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,538 16 wonderful years to the same man. 51 00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:30,367 That Hal is one lucky hombre. 52 00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:31,760 Craig, you shouldn't have. 53 00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,240 Oh, please. 54 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:35,372 Special gift for a special lady 55 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,069 on a special day. 56 00:02:37,113 --> 00:02:39,115 No, I mean, really, you shouldn't have. 57 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,248 Aren't only husbands supposed to give you gifts? 58 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,466 Fine, throw it in the trash, then. 59 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,381 H-H-Hold on. 60 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,426 Well, let's see what it is first. 61 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,601 [chuckles] 62 00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:48,472 Oh, look at... 63 00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,648 I've been meaning to try this color. 64 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:53,042 I know, I saw you eyeing it a couple weeks ago. 65 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:55,044 I didn't know we carried this brand.We don't. 66 00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:58,090 So where did you see me...? So, uh, big plans for tonight? 67 00:02:58,134 --> 00:02:59,396 What are you gonna be wearing? [chuckles] 68 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,355 Oh, it's gonna be great. 69 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:03,357 I have the most perfect red dress, I... 70 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,141 Took me two months to save up for it, 71 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,534 but it was worth it. 72 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,929 Oh, I've been fantasizing about this night forever. 73 00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,280 ♪ 74 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,771 [sighs] 75 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,080 ♪ 76 00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:39,741 [whimpering] 77 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:47,662 Craig? 78 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,098 Huh. 79 00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:51,622 Yeah, uh, say, Lois, uh, you... 80 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,972 y-you want to go catch a movie or something over lunch? 81 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,452 Uh, they're playing My Best Friend's Wedding 82 00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:57,062 over in Electronics.Mm, no, thanks. I don't... 83 00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:58,412 Fine, forget it. 84 00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:02,546 [grunts] 85 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,331 I'm okay! 86 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:08,944 Are you boys almost finished wrapping our present?! 87 00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:11,686 I have to meet your father at the restaurant in ten minutes! 88 00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,514 More paper. 89 00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:15,211 I get to do the bow. 90 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,560 Why'd she give you the money to buy the gift? 91 00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,954 Because she didn't want another karate video. 92 00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:20,911 It's "ka-ra-tay." 93 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,436 I get to do the bow. 94 00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,698 What'd we get them anyway? 95 00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:24,699 Picture frame. 96 00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:25,700 Brownnoser. 97 00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,310 I get to do the bow. 98 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,703 We're not finished yet. 99 00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:31,401 Yeah, but I get to do the bow. 100 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:55,686 Finished. 101 00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,514 Finally. 102 00:04:57,558 --> 00:05:00,474 No! I was supposed to do the bow. 103 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:01,910 Well, you should have said something. 104 00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,128 I'm telling. 105 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,479 Mom...! 106 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,916 No...! 107 00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,961 Fire? 108 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,138 Fire? 109 00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:15,053 Fire?!Mom! What's...? 110 00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,403 This is the most stupid, irresponsible, 111 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:19,275 dangerous thing you have ever done! 112 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,190 Is this what you want?! 113 00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:23,497 Where we have to identify your charred little bodies 114 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,977 through their dental records? 115 00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,805 I want a straight answer. 116 00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,024 Who did this?! 117 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,504 Malcolm did it!Reese did it! 118 00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,375 I didn't do it!I didn't do it! 119 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,334 We're going to the dentist? 120 00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,773 Who? 121 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,430 I don't like that one anyway. 122 00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,565 No. No. Not that one. 123 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,829 ♪ They turn me down, they turn me down ♪ 124 00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,788 ♪ They turn, they turn, they turn, they turn ♪ 125 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,398 ♪ They, they, they, they, they... ♪ 126 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,400 Who? 127 00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,663 It wasn't me. It was him. It was him, it was him. 128 00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,404 Okay. Into the hallway. 129 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,014 I think I'm gonna puke. 130 00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:05,408 Yeah? Well, that's gonna be the highlight of your evening, 131 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:08,759 because nobody is going anywhere till one of you tells me who. 132 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:09,847 And everything's all set up? 133 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,588 I believe so, sir. 134 00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,287 Table seven? Chateau Brut '87? 135 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,419 Hors d'oeuvres medley? 136 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,029 Yes, sir. 137 00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:20,771 Ooh, geez. [chuckles] 138 00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:21,685 One more thing. 139 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,121 I almost forgot. 140 00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,471 See, uh, my wife always orders lobster, 141 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,429 so could you have the chef slip this 142 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,823 on the lobster's claw just before you serve it? 143 00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:31,913 She gets such a kick out of stuff like that. 144 00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:34,002 And so do I, for that matter. 145 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,308 [chuckles] Not a problem, sir. 146 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,573 The violinist has our song? 147 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,489 He received the sheet music this morning. 148 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,273 Good. Good, good, good, good. 149 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,709 You would be surprised how many times 150 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:49,278 I've heard "Tears of a Clown" just butchered. 151 00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,627 Tell her. You tell her. 152 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,324 Who? 153 00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:54,544 [Malcolm and Reese accuse each other indistinctly] 154 00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:55,893 Okay, okay, closer to the wall! 155 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:59,506 Wait, Mom, seriously, it reeks over here. 156 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,290 DEWEY: I can't help it. 157 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,466 LOIS: Okay, into the TV room. 158 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:04,641 Let's go. 159 00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,469 ♪ Come on... 160 00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,471 ♪ Come on 161 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,473 ♪ Come on... 162 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,693 ♪ Come on 163 00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:15,478 ♪ Come on, come on 164 00:07:15,522 --> 00:07:17,349 ♪ Come on... 165 00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:18,742 REESE: I'll give you $5 166 00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:21,049 if you tell Mom you did it.You tell her. 167 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,703 You did it, 'cause I didn't do it. 168 00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:23,660 I really didn't. 169 00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,053 What are you eating? 170 00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,620 Nothing. Why don't you guys shut up 171 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,317 so I can think of something? 172 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,753 What's there to think of? 173 00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,276 There's nothing we can do. 174 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,713 I've never seen Mom so mad. 175 00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:33,931 Me, either. 176 00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:35,106 Reese is right. 177 00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,630 We're out of our league. 178 00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,327 There's only one person 179 00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:40,503 who ever had Mom this mad at them and survived. 180 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,593 Hello. 181 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,338 And she has your heads where?Under the couch. 182 00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,427 All because Reese won't admit he did it. 183 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,124 You admit it. I didn't do it. 184 00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,952 Neither did I. Liar.FRANCIS: Whoa, wh-whoa. 185 00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,432 Chill. You are not gonna get anywhere 186 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,738 fighting with each other. 187 00:07:57,781 --> 00:07:59,957 Now, first of all, you all burned the dress. 188 00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:00,958 I didn't. 189 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,003 Hey, you all did it. 190 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,395 You have to stay together. 191 00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:04,658 You have to stay united. 192 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:05,920 United against who? 193 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:08,575 My mom. Nice. 194 00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:09,793 Okay, now, no one broke so far, 195 00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,316 so you should be proud of yourselves. 196 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,101 Did she do the toy thing yet?Yep. 197 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,624 Spinning?MALCOLM: Uh-uh. 198 00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:15,712 Okay, good. 199 00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:17,584 I think I know where she's going. 200 00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:18,889 Separate interviews. 201 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,804 Listen, when she gets you alone, 202 00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,328 she's going to pretend she's on your side. 203 00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:25,417 She's not. 204 00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:27,594 Go ahead. 205 00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:30,205 It's a name brand. 206 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,779 I'm not mad at you. 207 00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:40,476 I know you didn't do this. 208 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,782 You're a good boy. 209 00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:44,698 But I want you to help me find out who did. 210 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:46,613 This is serious. 211 00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,745 One of your brothers could have burned the house down. 212 00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:51,574 And for that, he will be severely punished. 213 00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:55,273 But the one who helps me will be a very happy boy. 214 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,798 And I want that to be you. 215 00:08:57,841 --> 00:09:00,191 'Cause you've always been the best one. 216 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,194 You've always been the best one. 217 00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:06,589 You have always been the best one. 218 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:09,157 Mom, honestly, I don't know who did it. 219 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,246 I don't know.Don't know. 220 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:15,380 Well, I guess you boys think 221 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,774 you've got your old mom over a barrel, huh? 222 00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,820 Well, we'll just see about that. 223 00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,867 If you boys want to play, 224 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:28,089 we can play all night long. 225 00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:56,900 Sir? Mmm. 226 00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:57,901 Oh. 227 00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,555 Thank you. Thank you. 228 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,818 Oh, can I have another vodka martini, please? 229 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,341 Very good. 230 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:06,257 This time, let's go olive, onion, olive. 231 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,519 Whatever. 232 00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,178 [busy signal beeps] 233 00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,052 W-What's that? I can't hear you. 234 00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:20,228 She's killing us! 235 00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:22,491 [creature laughs] 236 00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:24,841 ♪ Nice is good, mean is bad 237 00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:27,844 ♪ Don't be mean, 'cause mean is bad ♪ 238 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,064 ♪ Nice is better than mean 239 00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:32,806 ♪ Hugs are good, thugs are bad [groans] 240 00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:36,723 ♪ Don't be a thug... Why does she have to ruin everything I love?! 241 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,247 Francis, I'm just going to tell her I did it. 242 00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:42,337 I know it wasn't me, but anything is better than this! 243 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,904 Oh, God. [groaning] 244 00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,514 That is bad. 245 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:47,777 They tried that psych-ops stuff on Noriega. 246 00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,126 They said that by the end, 247 00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,085 he wanted to cut his own ears off. 248 00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:52,869 Malcolm, you cannot crack now. 249 00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:55,698 She will own you for the rest of your life. 250 00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,091 Now, listen to me, Malcolm. 251 00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,093 You have to do exactly what I say. 252 00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,748 ♪ Nice is good, mean is bad 253 00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,402 ♪ Don't be mean, 'cause mean is bad ♪ 254 00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,535 ♪ Nice is better than mean 255 00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:09,538 [boys sing along]: ♪ Hugs are good, thugs are bad 256 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:12,323 ♪ Don't be a thug, 'cause thugs are bad ♪ 257 00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:15,109 ♪ Hugs are better than thugs 258 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,980 ♪ Smart is good... Did you see that? 259 00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,721 Hey!Francis is a genius! 260 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,897 Come on, sing louder! 261 00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:23,421 ♪ Nice is good, mean is bad 262 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,945 ♪ Don't be mean, 'cause mean is bad... ♪ 263 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,599 LOIS: Oh, this is so cute! 264 00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,297 Oh, your grandmother and all your friends 265 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,777 are just going to love this 266 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,431 at your next birthday party. 267 00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:34,519 You're kidding me. 268 00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:35,782 Okay, just hang in there. 269 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,392 Give me a minute to think. 270 00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:38,872 Damn, she's good. 271 00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,177 Did they crack? 272 00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,136 Nah, Dewey faked a stomach cramp, 273 00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:44,138 bought 'em some time.Good man. 274 00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:46,662 Man, if we would have had your mom in 'Nam, 275 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,404 there'd be a McDonald's in Hanoi Square right now. 276 00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,928 Dude, there isa McDonald's in Hanoi Square. 277 00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:55,192 All right. 278 00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:57,455 [busy signal beeps] 279 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,895 Franklin, I'm ready to order. 280 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,592 Are you sure, sir? 281 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,899 Mm-hmm. See, in our family, we have a saying. 282 00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:08,379 "After an hour, eat without her. 283 00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,773 If it's any longer, something's wronger." 284 00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:12,383 Very catchy, sir. 285 00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,821 Well, when life gives you lemons, 286 00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:16,431 make lemonade, Franklin. 287 00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:17,998 Do you have any lemonade? 288 00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,913 No, sir. Oh. 289 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,871 You have lemons? Yes, sir. 290 00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:24,047 Well, throw one in another martini 291 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:25,919 and let's hear those specials. 292 00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,838 REESE [whispering]: What's she doing? 293 00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:33,143 Can't tell. 294 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,971 Maybe she left. 295 00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,930 Yeah, I'm sure she's gone out to buy us all presents. 296 00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,235 DEWEY: Hooray. 297 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,629 Man, it's just too quiet out there. 298 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,283 It's driving me crazy. 299 00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:44,851 Maybe we should sing some more. 300 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:46,113 Shut up, Dewey. 301 00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,994 I wonder how many holes are up in those tiles. 302 00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:00,214 186,480. 303 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,825 You counted allthose? 304 00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:06,263 No, you just count one tile's holes, across and down, 305 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:09,789 multiply it, then multiply it again by the number of tiles. 306 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,402 You're doing that more and more. 307 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,403 Doing what? 308 00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,622 That brain thing. 309 00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:20,756 Are you just going to keep getting smarter and weirder? 310 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,019 I don't know. 311 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,847 Well, can you tone it down a little bit? 312 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,936 'Cause I can't keep up with all these butt-kickings. 313 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,720 What are you talking about? 314 00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:31,506 Well, at least twice a day I have to whoop-ass 315 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:33,290 on some kid calling you a weirdo. 316 00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:34,988 Honestly, it's exhausting. 317 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:38,078 You beat up people 'cause they call me a weirdo? 318 00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:40,036 Well, the last kid, he was a freak anyways. 319 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,952 He was in no position to throw out names. 320 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:46,521 Thanks.For what? 321 00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:49,524 Nothing. 322 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,136 Hey. 323 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:54,877 What am I thinking right now? 324 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,053 I'm smart; I'm not psychic. 325 00:13:57,097 --> 00:14:00,274 Can you understand what dogs are saying? 326 00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,362 No. 327 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:02,493 I can. 328 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:03,973 LOIS [singsongy]: Oh, boys. 329 00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:14,810 I don't know who put you up to this sticking-together garbage, 330 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,551 but I don't like it. 331 00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:20,163 Therefore, you have forced me to do something terrible. 332 00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:22,862 Say good-bye to a cherished family member. 333 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,953 Who?!BOYS: No! 334 00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:33,089 BOYS: No!Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. 335 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,308 Don't you dare. 336 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:35,787 [knocking on door] 337 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,008 And don't move a muscle. 338 00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,145 Hi, Lois. 339 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,363 Look, Ed, uh, it's 9:00. 340 00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:47,930 I'm a little busy right now. 341 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,540 Well, you see, there's the problem. 342 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,629 It's 9:00 at night, and I keep hearing screaming. 343 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,197 Now, this didn't sound like your normal screaming. 344 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,199 It-it was more like killing-screaming. 345 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,418 I'm not one to complain... 346 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,854 That's why we like you. 347 00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:06,644 [panting] 348 00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:09,212 In your room... 349 00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,693 [distorted]: now. 350 00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,566 [whistles] 351 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,220 Nice place you got here. 352 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,613 Thank you, sir. 353 00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:21,007 I like to create an atmosphere. 354 00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,444 Did you enjoy your meal, sir? 355 00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:26,229 Well, if you can call four olives, two onions 356 00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:27,970 and a whole lot of alcohol a meal, 357 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:30,190 then, yes. [chuckles] 358 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,974 Very good, sir. 359 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,149 Uh... 360 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:35,369 What have you got in the cologne department? 361 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:38,198 Um, were you looking for anything in particular? 362 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,896 Well, I've been thinking about a signature scent.Uh-huh. 363 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,855 You see, I-I'd like to leave a room and have people say, 364 00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,814 "Boy, smells like Hal in here." 365 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,076 Mmm? 366 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,122 But in a nice way. Yeah. Right. 367 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,037 Uh, let's see... you... 368 00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,214 You strike me as a... 369 00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:55,258 sandalwood. 370 00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,868 Sandalwood, huh? 371 00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:58,261 Sandalwood. 372 00:15:58,305 --> 00:16:00,089 Let's give it a smell-see, shall we? 373 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,005 Eh? 374 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,137 Yes. 375 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,225 That's quite nice. 376 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:06,226 [mumbles] Hit me. 377 00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,271 Here we go. [laughs] 378 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:11,231 Oh, that's... that is quite nice. 379 00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:12,406 Ooh! 380 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,016 You do a service to your craft, sir. 381 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,236 This man is a genius. 382 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:21,284 Snooty bastard. 383 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:24,026 You'd think this place would be the great equalizer, huh? 384 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:27,073 You know, even a king looks like a fool 385 00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,249 when he's answering nature's call, am I right? 386 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,163 Of course I'm right. 387 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:33,166 Well, it's been a pleasure. 388 00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,038 Oh. 389 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,040 Sorry. 390 00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:38,998 Have a good evening. 391 00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,043 Uh, sir? 392 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,132 Yes. 393 00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:48,268 Thank you for making eye contact with me. 394 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:54,404 Boys, I just, I don't know what to do anymore. 395 00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,711 I don't want to punish anyone. 396 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,278 All I want is the truth. 397 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:01,063 I don't know how things got this far, 398 00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,022 but I just want it to stop. 399 00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,113 Nah, they'll never buy it. 400 00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:23,041 Oh, my God, Hal. 401 00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:27,089 They saved the TV. 402 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,221 [cheering] 403 00:17:28,263 --> 00:17:30,353 Beautiful work, beautiful! 404 00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:33,095 You have her exactly where you want her-- totally crazy. 405 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,141 Now it's time to take the offensive. 406 00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,272 The offensive? 407 00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:37,752 Exactly. She won't... 408 00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,101 Wait a minute. 409 00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:40,581 Did you hear breathing? 410 00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,539 What? 411 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,541 Mom? 412 00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,247 LOIS: Malcolm. 413 00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,771 Would you hang up the phone, please? 414 00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:57,902 Hi, Mom. 415 00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,121 Happy anniversary. 416 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:00,253 MALCOLM: Not good. Not good. 417 00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:01,515 What is it? What?! 418 00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:02,820 Mom! Phone! 419 00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,300 [Malcolm groans]Oh! Oh, man. Oh, man. 420 00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:05,562 We're gonna die! 421 00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:06,781 MALCOLM: That's it. 422 00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:08,696 I got to run away. Oh. Wait! 423 00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,045 We can get out of this. 424 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,481 You have to use that brain of yours. 425 00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,526 Think. 426 00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:13,570 Think! 427 00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:14,919 All I can think about 428 00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:17,139 is how hard he's twisting my nipple. 429 00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,271 Ow! 430 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:19,272 Okay. 431 00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,230 Think. Think. 432 00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:23,537 I got it. 433 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:28,150 [laughter] 434 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,505 Mmm, here it is. 435 00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:36,941 That's our song. 436 00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,378 Not our song. No, no, not... 437 00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:39,379 [laughter] 438 00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:41,163 Can I have...? 439 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,904 Another one... 440 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,168 LOIS: I cannot believe you, Francis. 441 00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,604 You think you are so clever 442 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,389 turning them against me, don't you? 443 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,086 No, Mom. 444 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,827 We did not send you to Marlin Academy 445 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,437 so that you could undermine my authority long-distance. 446 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:55,873 Well, why did you send me? 447 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,571 Well, it-it was not 448 00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,399 so that you could undermine my authority. 449 00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:00,530 And if I am not mistaken, 450 00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:02,445 you are undermining my authority! 451 00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,099 What are you doing? 452 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,361 Y-You're spending your anniversary at home, 453 00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,623 fixating on a stupid dress. 454 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,408 Is that what you wanted tonight? 455 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,192 What am I supposed to do, Francis? Let it go? 456 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,020 Yes, that is exactly what you should do. 457 00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,674 Let it go. 458 00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,458 But you can't, 'cause you can never let anything go. 459 00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:19,462 I can, too, let things go. 460 00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:20,463 Fine...I can... 461 00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:21,682 Fine.I can! 462 00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:23,727 Okay, just forget I said anything. 463 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,471 I cannot talk to you anymore. 464 00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:29,690 Ooh, you make me so mad. 465 00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,692 Sometimes I just want to break your neck. 466 00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,346 [sighs] Did you get the cookies I sent you? 467 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:34,869 Yeah, they were great. 468 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,392 Good. 469 00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,699 [crashing, shattering] 470 00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:54,671 I swear to God, on paper, this was a great idea. 471 00:19:58,371 --> 00:19:59,937 All right, that's it. 472 00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,939 Get dressed-- we're going to dinner. 473 00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:04,377 Oh, my God, it didwork. 474 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,856 What? 475 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,293 Dinner. 476 00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:09,120 I won't have you boys starving to death. 477 00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,079 Last thing I need is a bunch of social workers and reporters 478 00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,515 tearing up the front lawn. 479 00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:14,387 Now, hurry up before I change my mind. 480 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,866 What about the dress? 481 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:19,218 I really liked that dress. 482 00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,143 HAL: Hey, thanks for the ride, Tony. 483 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:33,754 TONY: Anytime, Hal! 484 00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:37,236 Hello! 485 00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,414 Honey? 486 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:42,719 Boys? 487 00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:44,765 Anybody home? 488 00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:48,377 Hotcha! 489 00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:51,380 This evening just keeps getting better and better. 490 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,297 [grunts] 491 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:56,733 [sighs] 492 00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:01,564 [television playing in another room] 493 00:21:05,742 --> 00:21:07,266 Hmm. 494 00:21:22,063 --> 00:21:23,543 Oh! No, no. 495 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:25,762 Okay, okay. 496 00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:27,373 [grunts] Geez, oh... 497 00:21:27,416 --> 00:21:28,722 Not again. 498 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:30,376 [toilet flushes]