1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM

2
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,175
WOMAN: I don't even.
I mean, why?

3
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,611
WOMAN 2: He just talks to
her, he doesn't talk to her.

4
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,776
WOMAN: He talks to her,
he doesn't talk to her.

5
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,315
WOMAN 2: Yeah, that's exactly right,
it's like 4:00 in the morning,

6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,220
and I'm like, "Oh, my
God, Tim, Tim, Tim?"

7
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:22,856
Okay, so not worth it.

8
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,287
I think she should've left him,
like, a long time ago, but...

9
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,291
(INDISTINCT SPEEDTALKING
CONTINUES)

10
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,862
Did you catch a word of that?
(SCOFFS) Nope.

11
00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:31,163
It's a known fact
that the adult male brain

12
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,995
is incapable of understanding
female speed talking.

13
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:37,170
Last time I tried,
my head hurt for three days.

14
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:40,271
(WOMEN SOBBING AT BAR)

15
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,612
(TAPPING BAR)
SAM: Barkeep?

16
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,582
Can't we put a game on
or something?

17
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,681
Anything but
this sentimental crap?

18
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,723
The movie stays on!

19
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,792
Whatever.

20
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,556
(SIGHING)

21
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,617
SAM: Women are demented.

22
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,656
They babble incoherently, they
cry at the drop of a hat.

23
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,632
To me, those are two
major symptoms of crazy.

24
00:01:03,633 --> 00:01:06,031
And there's Sam Wellman,
expert opinion on women.

25
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,333
Damn straight.

26
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,504
There ain't a female
on this planet

27
00:01:08,505 --> 00:01:10,440
that I can't figure out
in a minute flat.

28
00:01:10,441 --> 00:01:11,698
Especially Georgette.

29
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,905
Diagnosis, nymphomania.

30
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:16,676
Oh, would you get over yourself?

31
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:19,446
It's about time that you found
yourself a nice woman

32
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,607
and you settle down, huh?

33
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,075
Like you and Cynthia?

34
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:25,053
Don't go there.
Classic ball buster.

35
00:01:25,054 --> 00:01:26,822
I'm a happy man.
Shut the hell up.

36
00:01:26,823 --> 00:01:30,056
Is there a model
in Milan, New York,

37
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,017
Paris, you haven't banged yet?

38
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,756
I got a hot one tonight, Doc.

39
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,097
This new girl at the agency.

40
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:38,658
Oof.

41
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:40,732
Oh, no.

42
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,234
Don't tell me you caught
something again?

43
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,796
Nah, it's just my dick
in my jockstrap.

44
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:46,039
Great, can't help you with that.

45
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,340
(EXHALES)

46
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,641
What would I do without you
when I got the clap?

47
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:52,782
You would go to a urologist
instead of a G-Y-N.

48
00:01:52,783 --> 00:01:55,010
You're the only doctor
I can trust with my privacy.

49
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:58,445
And I kind of like being the only guy
in New York with a gynecologist.

50
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,252
You're a regular riot, Alice.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

51
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,390
Hey, honey.

52
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,592
Speak of the devil.

53
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:10,163
Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub.

54
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,864
Just having a drink with Sam.

55
00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:13,966
You know,
I could've guessed that.

56
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,898
How's our favorite little
whoremonger doing?

57
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:18,438
Ow! What are you doing?

58
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:19,639
She's not gonna
come over here, is she?

59
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,570
So, where are you taking me
to dinner tonight?

60
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,876
Somewhere expensive.
(SCOFFS)

61
00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:26,579
Oh, right answer.

62
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,520
(LOUD BURP) Oh, my God,
tell Sam I heard that.

63
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,676
<i>He's beyond repugnant.</i>

64
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,116
(FINGERS SNAPPING)

65
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:36,691
See you later, Soo-Soo.
(KISSES)

66
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,092
(CLEARING THROAT)

67
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,560
What?

68
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:49,026
You know what...
Poo-Poo.

69
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,696
You're going to the
bachelor party, right?

70
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:51,844
Wouldn't miss it for the world.

71
00:02:51,845 --> 00:02:53,169
You gonna behave yourself?

72
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:54,644
I was thinking about
sending Stephen

73
00:02:54,645 --> 00:02:57,142
some videos of me
and the blushing bride.

74
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:58,914
I might just post them
on the Internet.

75
00:02:58,915 --> 00:03:00,913
I hope you're kidding.

76
00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:04,680
(CHUCKLES)

77
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:10,956
MARGARET:
Good morning, Sam.

78
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,458
Morning, morning.

79
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:15,189
Listen, I retyped your proposal,
added a couple things.

80
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:16,696
Hope you like it.

81
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,537
We're gonna do that dinner,
Margaret, I swear.

82
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,038
That'd be great, Sam.

83
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,107
Good morning,
Mr. Wellman.

84
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:31,038
Mr. Cavalo would like to see you
in his office when you're ready.

85
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,605
Hello, Melissa.

86
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:35,183
How was your weekend?
Fine, thank you.

87
00:03:35,184 --> 00:03:36,622
Should I ask how yours was?

88
00:03:36,623 --> 00:03:39,147
Oh, you know, usual debauchery.

89
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:42,222
Grist for my novel.

90
00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,492
And, uh, what would that
novel be about again?

91
00:03:44,493 --> 00:03:46,231
It's about an office assistant.

92
00:03:46,232 --> 00:03:48,757
Demure, passionate, very lonely.

93
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:51,262
Madly in love with her
incredibly attractive boss.

94
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,765
Wow, you have quite
the imagination.

95
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,336
You wouldn't wanna help me
do the research, would you?

96
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,067
You know, I'm writing
my own novel.

97
00:03:58,072 --> 00:03:59,542
Would you like to hear about it?

98
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:00,840
(SCOFFS) No.

99
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:13,549
Do you know the first thing
I notice about a woman?

100
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,922
Her ass. (CHUCKLING)

101
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,723
I mean, have you ever
noticed how a woman's ass

102
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,285
gets a little firmer
when she's nervous?

103
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,527
(CHUCKLING)

104
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,498
It's a thing of beauty.

105
00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:26,897
I should be writing
this down, shouldn't I?

106
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,430
(CHUCKLING)
Let's take a closer look.

107
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,107
Oh...

108
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,068
Oh, listen,

109
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:39,506
Lulu loved our suggestion
on the new brassiere line.

110
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,648
Outstanding.

111
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,519
How's it going with her
by the way?

112
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:44,847
How's it going?

113
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,590
She tied me
to the bed last night

114
00:04:46,591 --> 00:04:48,787
and beat the crap out of me,
that's how it's going.

115
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,289
That good, huh?
And by the way...

116
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,858
(CLEARS THROAT)

117
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:55,228
Lulu said she was stopping by
on the way to a fashion show

118
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:57,329
to tell you in person.
She should be here...

119
00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,501
Excuse me, uh,
Mr. Cavalo, Lulu's here.

120
00:04:59,502 --> 00:05:01,370
She's waiting for you
in the conference room.

121
00:05:01,371 --> 00:05:03,236
Just about now.

122
00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:05,367
Thank you. Tell her
we'll be right there.

123
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,042
Yes, Mr. Cavalo.

124
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:14,247
So, last night, Stephanie?

125
00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:15,508
(AWKWARD LAUGH)

126
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:18,916
Oh, hey, wait, taxi's on me.

127
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,589
I should've listened
to Christina.

128
00:05:20,590 --> 00:05:22,647
She said you were a pig.

129
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,759
It's a work in progress.

130
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,860
A work in progress?

131
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:32,131
Sam, don't over think it,
it's Pavlovian.

132
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,466
Huh?

133
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,767
It's Pavlovian.

134
00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,365
Pavlov's dogs?

135
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,335
You push the right buttons,
they salivate.

136
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:44,614
I mean, for some women,
it's money.

137
00:05:44,615 --> 00:05:46,711
Other women, it's marriage.

138
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,484
But whatever it is, you
give 'em the right spiel,

139
00:05:49,485 --> 00:05:51,351
they roll over.
(CHUCKLES)

140
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,720
Got you, Sey.
Lulu.

141
00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:55,321
We gotta stop meeting like this.

142
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:58,057
Aw, poor Seymour.

143
00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:01,258
Oh, I imagine you're still
smarting from last night.

144
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:02,391
Mmm-hmm.

145
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,226
We did get a bit adventurous.

146
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,598
A bit.
(CHUCKLES)

147
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,429
Especially with that spatula.

148
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,734
Shh...

149
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,396
Ooh, God, that thing
leaves marks.

150
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,474
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
Tell me about it.

151
00:06:12,475 --> 00:06:15,007
Hmm. Oh, Sam.
Hey!

152
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,608
Oh, you make
an adorable executive.

153
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,911
So cute in that suit.

154
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:22,913
God, I could just eat him
up with peanut butter.

155
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,446
Hell, forget the peanut butter,
just give him to me plain.

156
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,552
It's nice to see you, Lulu.

157
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,561
I hope you liked the models we
sent you for the lingerie show.

158
00:06:30,562 --> 00:06:33,787
They were skinny, stupid, and
drugged out of their minds.

159
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,364
Uh...
Uh...

160
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:38,862
In other words,
they were perfect.

161
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,526
The buyers loved them.

162
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,934
I want them for
the next two shows.

163
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:46,066
So, you'll make sure
Mr. Naughty

164
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,907
stays out of trouble.

165
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,976
Ahh!

166
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,537
Until our rendezvous
later at the hotel?

167
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,376
It's a date.
(CHUCKLING)

168
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:56,782
Okay.

169
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,777
(MIMICKING CAT PURRING)

170
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:01,046
(PURRING)
Bye-bye, cutie pie.

171
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:05,419
That's it? Quick
and almost painless?

172
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,686
What?

173
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:08,528
Mr. Naughty?

174
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,929
I'm telling you something, Sam.

175
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,599
You remind me so much
of me when I was younger.

176
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,067
A genius?

177
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,837
No, a complete asshole.
(CHUCKLES)

178
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,538
But a brilliant one.

179
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,040
To tell you the truth,

180
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,711
I wasn't half as slick as you
are when I was your age.

181
00:07:23,712 --> 00:07:25,910
Guess I am a bit of a prodigy.

182
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:27,113
(GLASSES CLINK)

183
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,614
Move over, Mozart.
Wait a minute, Sam.

184
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,416
I gotta ask you.
Stephanie?

185
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:33,789
Does she...

186
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:37,123
Does she wear panties?

187
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,424
MARGARET: Congratulations
on the Lulu account, Sam.

188
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,286
We just got the memo
about our next show.

189
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:42,785
Couldn't have done it
without you, Margaret, baby.

190
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,526
I just told Seymour that, too.

191
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,101
What, what, I don't know...
Right, right, Seymour?

192
00:07:46,102 --> 00:07:49,938
Yes, Margaret, of course, it
was a great job, lovely, yes.

193
00:07:49,939 --> 00:07:52,037
Can you do us a favor?
Can you, uh...

194
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,339
Can you excuse us?
Of course.

195
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,310
We're talking very
important business here.

196
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:57,812
So...

197
00:07:58,444 --> 00:08:00,146
You were saying?

198
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,747
(CHUCKLES)

199
00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:03,649
No.

200
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,080
♪

201
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,057
(LAUGHTER AND
INDISTINCT CHATTER)

202
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,988
I wish that wasn't
as true as it sounds.

203
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,034
Hey, I wanna propose
a toast real quick.

204
00:08:16,035 --> 00:08:17,459
Okay.

205
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:19,098
To my buddy, Stephen.

206
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,799
You know what they say, Stephen.

207
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:22,731
What do they say?

208
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,866
Marriage is the only war where
you sleep with the enemy.

209
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:27,572
(ALL LAUGHING)
Hey!

210
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,646
Joey, keep 'em coming!
Another round.

211
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,007
You got it, buddy.

212
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,675
Here's to Stephen.

213
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,923
Congratu-fricku-lations, you
horny little son-of-a-bitch.

214
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,350
(LAUGHING) Okay.

215
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:43,716
That's all right.

216
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:44,961
Okay.
Hey, maybe...

217
00:08:44,962 --> 00:08:46,888
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
I'll get it.

218
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,832
Hey, whoa, whoa,
turn the tunes down.

219
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,499
Oh, no.
Are we being loud here?

220
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,298
We're probably in trouble.

221
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,500
It's show time!

222
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,703
Whoo! It's show time.
(ALL CHEERING)

223
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,065
Whoo-hoo.

224
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:03,242
Look at this.
Wow!

225
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,977
Yo. Come on,
get your ass out here.

226
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,238
Wow! Come on.
Let's see those asses.

227
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,606
(MEN WHOOPING)

228
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,176
Come on, let's see those asses.

229
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,485
Pull up a chair for this guy.

230
00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:16,587
Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up.

231
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,590
(MUSIC AND INDISTINCT CHATTER)

232
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,863
What, you had to bring
your own tequila?

233
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,525
We didn't have enough
bottles here for you?

234
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:29,268
It's not tequila, it's Anejo.

235
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:32,169
(BURPING)
An-e-Jo.

236
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,941
I stand corrected.
You stand corrected.

237
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,272
JOEY: Hey, Stevie,
you gonna wear

238
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,876
your wedding ring
when you get married?

239
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,414
(LAUGHS)

240
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:43,776
What the hell
are you doing, man?

241
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,753
I'm documenting for posterity.

242
00:09:45,754 --> 00:09:47,922
You're gonna send those
to Georgette.

243
00:09:47,923 --> 00:09:50,089
That's a great idea.

244
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,690
That's very wrong, Sam.

245
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,062
Yeah, well, who are
you, my priest?

246
00:09:53,063 --> 00:09:54,590
No, I'm your best friend.

247
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,025
Yeah, well,
you know what, friend?

248
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,729
What, friend?

249
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:00,895
Mind your own freaking business.

250
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:03,801
Okay, I have to be a good boy.

251
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:06,074
You girls go see Joey.

252
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,238
What's your name, baby?

253
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:11,477
My name's Cat.

254
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,078
How about you?
Legs.

255
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,210
Oh, man, I'm right where
I'm supposed to be.

256
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,516
Whew.

257
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:18,777
(LAUGHS)

258
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:24,422
Where the hell are you going?

259
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:25,858
Out.

260
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,159
You got a problem with that?

261
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,830
Yeah, I got a problem with that.

262
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,662
Tough.

263
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:33,774
(MEN LAUGHING)

264
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,435
(BOTTLES CLINKING)

265
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,915
Excuse me.

266
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,147
(EXHALES)

267
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,231
Hmm.

268
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:22,347
(STATIC, CHANGING STATIONS)

269
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,620
(CHUCKLING)

270
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:30,961
That's a good-looking hat.

271
00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:37,029
(RADIO CLICKS)

272
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,060
MAN: Can I help you,
young man?

273
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,296
(CLEARING THROAT)

274
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:44,244
Oh, nice hat.

275
00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:45,867
Thank you.

276
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,172
Didn't offer much protection

277
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:50,009
from the cold at Valley Forge,

278
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:53,310
but it looked good at the victory
parade a few years later.

279
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,980
Tea?

280
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:56,549
Got anything stronger?

281
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,150
Oh, it's strong tea.
It's a special blend.

282
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,319
Sit down.

283
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,830
(SLURPS, EXHALES)

284
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,666
Good?

285
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:16,634
Yeah.

286
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,505
Big night on the town, eh?

287
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,408
(SIGHS) Bachelor party.

288
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,611
Not mine.

289
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,612
Confirmed bachelor, eh?

290
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,983
Hmm.

291
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,924
Are the happy couple
good friends?

292
00:12:32,925 --> 00:12:34,049
Huh?

293
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,454
Relationships work best

294
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,755
when there's a strong bond
of friendship.

295
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,688
Trust, a core of trust?

296
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:44,201
He's crazy if he trusts her,
I can tell you that much.

297
00:12:44,202 --> 00:12:45,797
A good-looking
young man like you

298
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,629
must have a girlfriend.

299
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:48,774
Whenever I want.

300
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,400
No one special?

301
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,841
No such thing.

302
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:57,812
You're not very fond
of the female

303
00:12:57,813 --> 00:12:59,480
of the species, are you?

304
00:12:59,481 --> 00:13:03,149
Good for one thing
and one thing only.

305
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:06,719
Women are God's gift
to the world, son.

306
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,150
I guess He forgot
to give me my present.

307
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,386
How do you know God's a he?

308
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,562
Please.

309
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:18,133
(SIGHS) Well, thanks for the tea,
old-timer. I gotta get going.

310
00:13:18,134 --> 00:13:19,661
Where do you live, son?

311
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,226
Murray Hill.

312
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:24,003
Murray Hill.

313
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,974
That's a very nice neighborhood.

314
00:13:25,975 --> 00:13:27,339
Thanks.

315
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,240
Do you know how Murray
Hill got its name?

316
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,242
Murray's Deli?

317
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,978
No.

318
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,747
The Murray family.

319
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:36,748
Quakers.
They were Quakers,

320
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:40,219
you know, like the oatmeal?
Right.

321
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:44,156
They had a fine mansion up
at the top of Murray Hill.

322
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,027
It was about where
37th and Park is today.

323
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:52,128
Mrs. Murray was
a very good-looking woman.

324
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,532
Good for Mr. Murray.

325
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:59,071
Yeah, well, Mr. Murray wasn't
around on September 15, 1776

326
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:03,982
when 20,000 British and Hessian
troops invaded Manhattan.

327
00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:07,277
They landed at Kips Bay.

328
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,916
That's about where
34th Street is today.

329
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,177
Washington had about
9,000 troops,

330
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,986
but they were most of them
stationed downtown.

331
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,619
The British were about ready
to cut the rebels in two.

332
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:23,086
But Mrs. Murray
outsmarted them.

333
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,996
She plied the soldiers with wine

334
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,828
and flirted with the general.

335
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:30,202
(CHUCKLING) Just like a broad.
Well,

336
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,173
while she was entertaining
the top brass,

337
00:14:32,174 --> 00:14:34,742
the rebels escaped
up the west side.

338
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,108
Yes, without her,

339
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:40,579
the war would've been over
before it started.

340
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:44,617
Washington, Jefferson,
John Adams.

341
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:48,048
The whole bunch of 'em would've
been hanged for treason.

342
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,524
Hmm.

343
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,659
A woman?

344
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,760
It's the truth.

345
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,861
Mrs. Murray saved
the Americans.

346
00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,534
She saved the revolution.

347
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,636
She saved the brand-new
U.S. of A.

348
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,737
Well, that's a hell
of a story, Pops.

349
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,707
I'll remember it next time
I'm walking down Park Avenue.

350
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,367
Yeah, remember what
I told you about women.

351
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,776
That's why I told you the story.

352
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:14,847
Well, they must've broke
the mold when they made her,

353
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:17,818
'cause ever chick nowadays
is a total bitch.

354
00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:23,119
Maybe you just need to
live a little bit more.

355
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:26,363
There's nothing like
experience to open your eyes.

356
00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:29,233
Yeah, right.

357
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:34,867
Uh, hey, uh, which way
is 7th Avenue?

358
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:38,068
Guy who laid out these streets
must've been cross-eyed.

359
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,940
You take the first right
out the door.

360
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,441
Then you take
the next two rights.

361
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:48,480
Well, thanks, Pops.
I'll see ya.

362
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:52,351
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)

363
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:53,722
Yes, you will.

364
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,860
(MOANS)

365
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,232
(SIGHING)

366
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:12,867
(CHUCKLES)

367
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:14,942
Cool dream.

368
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,083
(SCREAMING)

369
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,149
(HYSTERICAL SCREAMING)

370
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,793
(SHUDDERING)

371
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:46,472
Oh, my God, oh, my God,

372
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,040
oh, my God!

373
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,311
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, oh, my God.

374
00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:03,288
A hallucination.
A hallucination.

375
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,459
A hallucination.

376
00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:11,932
Shit.

377
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:13,728
Shit!

378
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:18,401
Hi, can I help you?
Where's Doc?

379
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:19,795
I'm sorry, who are you
here to see?

380
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,036
Doc.

381
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,108
Dr. Andrew Bellamy,
O-B-G-Y-N.

382
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:24,578
It says it right there
on the door.

383
00:17:24,579 --> 00:17:26,577
Well, Dr. Bellamy's with
a patient right now.

384
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:29,279
Okay, well,
I need to see him now.

385
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:31,522
Okay, young lady,
please calm yourself down.

386
00:17:31,523 --> 00:17:33,348
Yes, please.

387
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,388
Oh, mind your
own business, Miss STD!

388
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,057
Okay, you know what?

389
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,288
I will set up an appointment
for you with Dr. Bellamy...

390
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,627
Hey!

391
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,058
Don't mess with me, bitch!

392
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,104
(WOMAN GASPS)

393
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,099
Doc!

394
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,905
Look what fuckin'
happened to me, dude!

395
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,437
Look at me!

396
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,912
Miss, please, I am in the
middle of an examination here.

397
00:17:57,913 --> 00:18:01,880
Would you tell trash mouth
Sally here to wait her turn?

398
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,551
SAM: Oh, shut
the hell up, lady!

399
00:18:03,552 --> 00:18:04,880
Doc, you got...

400
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:07,054
Miss, if you do not behave,
I will call security.

401
00:18:07,055 --> 00:18:09,053
DOC: Angie, that won't
be necessary.

402
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,415
Help me with
Mrs. Goldfarb here.

403
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,923
We're gonna move you
to another room.

404
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,555
Thank you, Doctor and Angie.

405
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,990
What a <i>yakhneh!</i>

406
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,325
DOC: Angie, I won't be long.

407
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,269
Doc, I don't know
what happened, man.

408
00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:24,698
I woke up this morning,
and I'm a fuckin' broad!

409
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,504
Okay, there are a lot of

410
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,436
psychologist's offices
in the building.

411
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,371
Are you sure you didn't
walk into the wrong one?

412
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:31,906
Doc, you gotta believe me.

413
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,981
(STAMMERS) I feel like I'm in
this, like, this nightmare.

414
00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:36,710
Like, I just keep
waiting to wake up!

415
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:39,946
Dude, it's me!
It's Sam!

416
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,320
Sam?

417
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:44,590
Sam! Sam Wellman,
your best friend?

418
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,658
(CHUCKLES) Okay, very good.

419
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,289
How much is he paying you?

420
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:50,164
Ask me something.
Ask me anything.

421
00:18:50,165 --> 00:18:51,763
Really, I get the joke.

422
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:54,402
Yeah, okay, ask me something
about... About Cynthia.

423
00:18:54,403 --> 00:18:55,630
You know about Cynthia?

424
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,925
Dude, I know
everything about you.

425
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,266
You're Boo-Boo,
she's Soo-Soo.

426
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,039
He told you that?

427
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,470
Oh! You were nine years old.

428
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,106
You showed it
to Lauren Abramsky.

429
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,411
She kicked you in the nuts.

430
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,882
You told your mom
you fell off the swing.

431
00:19:07,883 --> 00:19:10,111
He told you that?
I was there, dude.

432
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,576
I practically carried you home.

433
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:12,718
Oh!

434
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,889
Senior Prom,
Sandi O'Malley gave you

435
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:16,718
your second blow job
under the bleachers.

436
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,093
Your first blow job,
March 1st, 1993,

437
00:19:19,094 --> 00:19:21,092
Lisa Kaminsky in your basement,

438
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,294
your mom came home...

439
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,825
Is there anything that prick
didn't tell you?

440
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,230
I am that prick!

441
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,368
Oh!

442
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,236
(SCISSORS SNIPPING)
DNA!

443
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,537
Miss, please,
put down the scissors.

444
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,207
Doc, DNA.

445
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,838
DNA.
Get a DNA test done.

446
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,281
Great, please, the scissors,
before someone gets hurt.

447
00:19:39,282 --> 00:19:41,809
Yeah, but Doc, you have the
blood from the paternity suit.

448
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:44,183
We get a DNA test done,
poof, yeah.

449
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:47,419
Okay, sure, great.
Now, give me the scissors.

450
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,350
And go home
and get some rest, huh?

451
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,885
Okay, but you're gonna do it.
You'll do it right away.

452
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,157
Yeah, as soon as you leave,

453
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,818
it goes right to
the DNA office or whatever.

454
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,326
Yeah? Okay.
Yeah, sure, great.

455
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,458
Okay, good,
but you're gonna do it?

456
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,596
Uh-huh.
Okay.

457
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,257
Just relax.
Okay.

458
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:00,455
Go home.
Okay.

459
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,266
Get some rest.
All right.

460
00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:08,908
Fucking Sam, Jesus.

461
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,640
Have an amazing day,
Mr. Johnson.

462
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,347
Excuse me.
Hey, Lou, what's up?

463
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,718
Excuse me, can I help you?

464
00:20:17,719 --> 00:20:19,477
I can't right now, Lou,
I got a situation.

465
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:20,845
Excuse me, Miss?

466
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,287
Uh...

467
00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:24,756
You're here to see who?

468
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:27,226
Oh, right, I'm sorry.

469
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,787
I am Sam Wellman's cousin.

470
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,956
I, uh...
He gave me the keys.

471
00:20:31,965 --> 00:20:33,595
(CHUCKLING)

472
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,900
Yeah, Sam, he's a great guy.
Uh-huh.

473
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,302
Yeah, he's letting me stay here

474
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,603
just for, uh, for a little bit.

475
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,365
That's great, Miss...

476
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:43,308
Samantha Wellman.
Samantha Wellman.

477
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:46,039
Lou, but you knew that already.

478
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,445
Yeah, Sam, uh, speaks
very highly of you.

479
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,048
Is that right?
Yeah.

480
00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:52,783
Let me know if there's
anything I can do for you?

481
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,485
All right, cool, cool.

482
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,287
Thanks, Lou.

483
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:58,119
Boom, yeah.

484
00:20:58,124 --> 00:20:59,324
Cool!

485
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:02,862
(MUSIC PLAYING)

486
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,531
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)

487
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:11,896
Doc!

488
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,604
Ah, I knew that you'd call.

489
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,966
Dude, yo, yo, yo, you get
those test results back yet?

490
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:18,275
Look, I don't know who you are

491
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,278
or what you think
you're doing, lady,

492
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,480
but this stopped being funny
a long time ago.

493
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:24,082
<i>Now where the hell is Sa?</i>

494
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:25,450
Doc, come on, dude!

495
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:27,851
<i>It's me, it's Sam!
You gotta...</i>

496
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:29,524
(GRUNTING) Ugh! Ugh!

497
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,722
Hey, baby.

498
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:32,858
Hey, hey, hey.

499
00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:34,859
How's it going?
Good.

500
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:35,961
Mmm...

501
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:41,698
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

502
00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:44,601
Melissa, hey, yeah.

503
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:47,670
Really? No messages.

504
00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:51,276
Yeah, I called him, but
some lady keeps answering.

505
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:53,177
I don't know who she is.
Call girl.

506
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:56,379
I'm sure he is just
sleeping it off

507
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:58,752
in a motel somewhere, you know?

508
00:21:59,785 --> 00:22:01,915
(SIGHING) Okay.

509
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,521
Yeah, let me know as soon as

510
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:06,491
you hear anything, please, okay?

511
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:07,859
Bye.

512
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,090
(SCOFFS)

513
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,998
Honey, Sam's a big boy.

514
00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:14,829
He can take care of himself.

515
00:22:15,634 --> 00:22:19,204
(MUSIC PLAYING)

516
00:22:19,205 --> 00:22:21,365
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
You gotta be kidding me.

517
00:22:21,374 --> 00:22:23,308
All right, lady, you win!

518
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:24,839
Now where the hell is Sam?

519
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,784
Oh, my God, I am so sick of Sam.

520
00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:29,777
(SIGHS)

521
00:22:30,382 --> 00:22:32,417
Okay, okay.

522
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:33,878
Either Boo-Boo
apologizes

523
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:36,616
and gets very snuggly,
very quickly,

524
00:22:36,622 --> 00:22:39,422
or Soo-Soo is gonna
squeeze Boo-Boo's balls.

525
00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:41,255
And I guarantee,
you're not gonna like it.

526
00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:46,333
(MOANS)

527
00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:50,129
Boo-Boo,
what's the matter?

528
00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:51,866
DOC: I'm sorry.

529
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,341
Did Boo-Boo take
all his vitamins today?

530
00:22:54,342 --> 00:22:56,110
DOC: Yeah, yeah.

531
00:22:59,311 --> 00:23:01,311
I just left something at work.

532
00:23:01,314 --> 00:23:03,248
I have to go to work, yeah.

533
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:04,519
Ugh.

534
00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:08,885
At 11:30 at night?

535
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,986
(SIGHS) Okay, God,
I must be crazy.

536
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,977
(MOANING)

537
00:23:35,347 --> 00:23:37,777
Oh, fuck.

538
00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:39,824
Okay, but you'll process
that right away.

539
00:23:39,825 --> 00:23:40,986
Rush job.

540
00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:42,387
JOHNNY: (ON PHONE)
<i>I'll do my best.</i>

541
00:23:42,388 --> 00:23:44,388
<i>Maybe tomorrow.
No promises.</i>

542
00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:46,057
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

543
00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:48,488
Excuse me, Doctor,
your 1:00 p.m. is here.

544
00:23:48,494 --> 00:23:50,394
Okay, I'll be out in a minute.

545
00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:52,026
(DOOR CLOSES)

546
00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:55,300
Just let me know as soon
as you hear something, okay?

547
00:23:55,301 --> 00:23:57,601
Melissa, come on,
where the hell is he?

548
00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:00,141
We have a very important
lunch meeting today.

549
00:24:00,142 --> 00:24:02,369
I've tried him on both lines, Mr.
Cavalo.

550
00:24:02,375 --> 00:24:03,705
Yes, and?

551
00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:05,078
And he hasn't answered,

552
00:24:05,079 --> 00:24:07,237
and he isn't answering
his e-mails either.

553
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:08,846
I don't care what kind
of a bender he's on,

554
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,378
it's just not like him.

555
00:24:10,383 --> 00:24:12,283
Well, he had a bachelor party
that he had to go to.

556
00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:14,885
I know, who do you think
got him the strippers?

557
00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:17,687
(MIMICKING GUNFIRE)

558
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:20,090
(MIMICS ITALIAN ACCENT)
Now you sleep with the fishes,

559
00:24:20,092 --> 00:24:22,992
Don Cheech.
(MIMICS EXPLOSION)

560
00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:29,732
Boo-Boo?
(GRUNTS)

561
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:31,235
What?
(SIGHS)

562
00:24:33,905 --> 00:24:37,365
Why couldn't you have
been a chiropodist?

563
00:24:37,376 --> 00:24:38,936
What?

564
00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:41,105
You stare at it all day.

565
00:24:41,113 --> 00:24:44,113
And now you've lost
your sex drive!

566
00:24:44,116 --> 00:24:45,776
(SOBBING)

567
00:24:49,054 --> 00:24:52,124
(MAN AND WOMAN
MOANING ON TV)

568
00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:57,796
(TV CLICKS)

569
00:24:57,797 --> 00:25:00,197
(SAM MOANING)

570
00:25:00,199 --> 00:25:03,829
Okay, "I have been called
away by a family emergency.

571
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:08,006
"My cousin, Samantha,
is here to save the day.

572
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:10,037
"She's got just as much
experience as me

573
00:25:10,042 --> 00:25:12,742
"and can cover my accounts
just as well as me

574
00:25:12,745 --> 00:25:16,505
"until I get back from...

575
00:25:18,116 --> 00:25:20,416
"From..." No.

576
00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:22,892
"Till I get back."

577
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:26,120
Huh.

578
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:29,355
Cousin Samantha, huh?

579
00:25:29,362 --> 00:25:32,197
Well, as long as she's hot.

580
00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:33,698
(CHUCKLING)

581
00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:59,088
Could I get some help over here?

582
00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:00,859
Oh.

583
00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:02,460
Okay, all right.

584
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:27,693
♪

585
00:26:30,221 --> 00:26:32,461
Morning, morning.
WOMAN: Good morning.

586
00:26:35,393 --> 00:26:37,696
Excuse me, can I help you?

587
00:26:37,697 --> 00:26:39,697
Margaret. (CHUCKLES)

588
00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:42,229
Er, do I know you?

589
00:26:42,234 --> 00:26:44,336
Right, um, indirectly.

590
00:26:44,337 --> 00:26:46,767
I am Sam Wellman's cousin.

591
00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:48,072
Samantha.

592
00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:50,174
What a pleasure to meet you.

593
00:26:50,176 --> 00:26:53,036
Sam has just told me
so... (CHUCKLES)

594
00:26:53,045 --> 00:26:55,875
Well, actually, he never
mentioned you at all.

595
00:26:55,881 --> 00:26:57,150
That didn't come out right.

596
00:26:57,151 --> 00:26:59,279
Oh, no, no, no, no,
it's fine, um, see,

597
00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:03,045
Sam and I have a...
A very complex relationship.

598
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:05,315
But look, I'm happy to help
out in his time of need.

599
00:27:05,324 --> 00:27:08,162
Okay, I hope everything is okay
with your family, I mean...

600
00:27:08,163 --> 00:27:11,299
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sure
everything will be just fine.

601
00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:13,757
Mmm-hmm, I'm gonna
go see Mr. Cavalo.

602
00:27:13,766 --> 00:27:14,996
Sure, let me show you.

603
00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:18,301
No, it's fine, I know...
Sam. (CHUCKLES)

604
00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:19,704
Right.

605
00:27:19,705 --> 00:27:22,005
Gonna do that dinner, though,
Margaret, I swear.

606
00:27:22,574 --> 00:27:24,476
(MOUTHING)

607
00:27:24,477 --> 00:27:25,607
(EXHALES)

608
00:27:27,112 --> 00:27:30,212
Ah, Melissa, good.

609
00:27:30,216 --> 00:27:32,746
Samantha Wellman, Sam's
fine, everything's good.

610
00:27:32,752 --> 00:27:34,852
He will be back soon.

611
00:27:34,854 --> 00:27:36,154
Nice to meet you, Miss Wellman.

612
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:37,545
Oh, please, Mel.

613
00:27:37,556 --> 00:27:40,016
Sam, Samantha, Sam, just
like the other guy, cool?

614
00:27:40,026 --> 00:27:41,786
Yeah, up, up, come.

615
00:27:41,794 --> 00:27:44,734
Uh, go grab me that Lulu
file like a good girl, huh?

616
00:27:44,735 --> 00:27:45,960
Sure.

617
00:27:45,965 --> 00:27:48,025
You look great
in that dress, oof.

618
00:27:51,102 --> 00:27:52,602
(SIGHS)

619
00:28:04,883 --> 00:28:06,183
(CHUCKLING)

620
00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:07,915
Sam never told me about you.

621
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,388
And now I know why.
(CHUCKLES)

622
00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:11,989
Why?
Come on in.

623
00:28:12,757 --> 00:28:14,187
Can I offer you a drink?

624
00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:15,593
A Bloody Mary?

625
00:28:15,594 --> 00:28:16,861
Sit.

626
00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:19,962
So Samantha.

627
00:28:21,099 --> 00:28:23,029
So Seymour.

628
00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:24,565
Welcome to the family.

629
00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:25,870
Yeah, no.

630
00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:28,609
Um, why don't we talk
about the Lulu account?

631
00:28:28,610 --> 00:28:30,967
Sam has given me
a thorough briefing.

632
00:28:30,976 --> 00:28:32,806
Let's not talk
about business yet.

633
00:28:32,812 --> 00:28:35,980
We haven't even gotten
to know each other.

634
00:28:35,981 --> 00:28:38,181
Yeah, well, you know, Sam's gonna
be back before we know it,

635
00:28:38,184 --> 00:28:41,586
so... I hope.
Think! Think.

636
00:28:41,587 --> 00:28:44,147
We gotta get to know each
other, right? Family.

637
00:28:44,156 --> 00:28:45,656
One of the family.

638
00:28:45,658 --> 00:28:47,058
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

639
00:28:48,193 --> 00:28:50,163
Do you know the first thing
I notice about a woman?

640
00:28:50,164 --> 00:28:52,502
Her ass?
Exa... No!

641
00:28:53,264 --> 00:28:54,966
Her eyes.

642
00:28:54,967 --> 00:28:58,167
Oh, yeah, okay. What?

643
00:28:58,170 --> 00:29:00,970
Our eyes are the windows
to our soul.

644
00:29:00,973 --> 00:29:05,310
And I can see that our windows
are connecting beautifully.

645
00:29:05,311 --> 00:29:07,178
Oh, oh, are they?

646
00:29:07,179 --> 00:29:11,349
You know, maybe you and I
should grab a bite.

647
00:29:11,350 --> 00:29:13,050
Dinner tonight.

648
00:29:13,052 --> 00:29:16,392
Oh, you know what? I can't.
I actually, I have plans.

649
00:29:16,393 --> 00:29:17,618
Cancel them.

650
00:29:17,623 --> 00:29:18,923
With my boyfriend.

651
00:29:18,924 --> 00:29:21,126
Invite him, bring him along.

652
00:29:21,127 --> 00:29:23,027
We can always send him
home early. (CHUCKLES)

653
00:29:23,028 --> 00:29:26,328
Yeah, but, you know, it...
It's our anniversary.

654
00:29:26,332 --> 00:29:28,232
So three's a crowd
kind of a thing.

655
00:29:28,234 --> 00:29:29,934
Maybe tomorrow night.
Yeah, okay.

656
00:29:29,935 --> 00:29:31,165
So, yeah, no,
I actually, I gotta go.

657
00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:33,770
I'm gonna go, I have to work.

658
00:29:33,773 --> 00:29:35,913
Work, work, work,
you know, see you, Sey.

659
00:29:35,914 --> 00:29:37,608
I'm gonna work.

660
00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:39,110
Work, work, work!

661
00:29:43,815 --> 00:29:45,545
Samantha, hi.

662
00:29:46,151 --> 00:29:48,119
Margaret.

663
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,820
Everything go well with Seymour?

664
00:29:49,822 --> 00:29:51,362
He can be a little brusque.

665
00:29:51,363 --> 00:29:52,887
Yeah.

666
00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:54,392
Fine, just fine.

667
00:29:55,827 --> 00:29:57,087
Here.

668
00:29:57,096 --> 00:29:58,896
Here, let me help.

669
00:30:00,765 --> 00:30:03,995
You know, you just let me
know if there's anything

670
00:30:04,003 --> 00:30:06,003
I can do for you
during your stay with us.

671
00:30:06,005 --> 00:30:08,835
Thanks, Margaret,
thanks a million.

672
00:30:08,841 --> 00:30:10,811
Sam would want that,
don't you think?

673
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:13,106
Yeah.

674
00:30:13,112 --> 00:30:15,852
Listen, you knew my name
when you came in.

675
00:30:15,853 --> 00:30:18,516
Sam must've talked about me.

676
00:30:18,517 --> 00:30:21,517
Did he?
Uh, yeah, yeah, he did.

677
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,120
He said, um...

678
00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:26,291
"Margaret..."
(CLICKS TONGUE)

679
00:30:26,292 --> 00:30:29,292
"Great gal."

680
00:30:29,295 --> 00:30:31,955
Uh, you have a wonderful day.

681
00:30:33,998 --> 00:30:35,528
You too.

682
00:30:41,573 --> 00:30:43,213
(SIGHS)

683
00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:46,709
(GLASSES CLINKING)

684
00:30:48,546 --> 00:30:50,976
Who are those for?
Sam?

685
00:30:52,016 --> 00:30:55,886
No, they're for you,
Soo-Soo.

686
00:30:55,888 --> 00:30:58,488
12 white roses for "I'm sorry,"

687
00:30:58,490 --> 00:31:01,560
and one red rose
for "I love you."

688
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:03,787
13?

689
00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:11,471
(CHUCKLING)

690
00:31:17,976 --> 00:31:19,876
Here's to you,
Soo-Soo.

691
00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:26,483
Mmm.

692
00:31:28,152 --> 00:31:30,288
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

693
00:31:30,289 --> 00:31:32,419
No, no.

694
00:31:32,424 --> 00:31:33,724
Just...
Don't.

695
00:31:33,726 --> 00:31:34,956
Let me...
Don't.

696
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,629
Check really quick.
See who it is.

697
00:31:37,630 --> 00:31:39,400
(SIGHS) If that's Sam
and you answer it,

698
00:31:39,401 --> 00:31:41,328
we are so over.

699
00:31:44,269 --> 00:31:46,239
Johnny, did you get the results?

700
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,368
This is the goddamnedest thing.

701
00:31:48,374 --> 00:31:49,944
I've never seen such
a spot-on correlation

702
00:31:49,945 --> 00:31:51,582
between male and female DNA.

703
00:31:52,243 --> 00:31:53,943
What?
<i>Ever.</i>

704
00:31:54,712 --> 00:31:57,348
Ever.
<i>Never.</i>

705
00:31:57,349 --> 00:31:59,709
I've seen identical twins that
were nowhere near this close.

706
00:31:59,984 --> 00:32:02,154
But... How, um...

707
00:32:02,987 --> 00:32:05,187
Who do these belong to anyway?

708
00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:08,130
Thanks, Johnny.
I owe you one.

709
00:32:10,862 --> 00:32:12,900
So, uh, what was that all about?

710
00:32:12,901 --> 00:32:15,068
If I'm not being
too inquisitive.

711
00:32:15,069 --> 00:32:16,567
It's a long story.

712
00:32:18,836 --> 00:32:20,196
(SIGHS)

713
00:32:26,010 --> 00:32:28,746
Good, so write me a letter.

714
00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:29,977
Okay.

715
00:32:31,382 --> 00:32:33,151
(EXHALES)

716
00:32:33,152 --> 00:32:34,819
You son of a bitch.

717
00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:36,688
DOC: Okay.

718
00:32:36,689 --> 00:32:38,059
(SCOFFS)

719
00:32:41,526 --> 00:32:43,726
(BANGING ON DOOR)

720
00:32:46,664 --> 00:32:48,800
Okay, okay!

721
00:32:48,801 --> 00:32:50,801
Oh.
(COUGHS)

722
00:32:52,904 --> 00:32:54,973
(BANGING CONTINUES)
Okay, all right, all right.

723
00:32:54,974 --> 00:32:56,644
Keep your pants on!

724
00:32:58,409 --> 00:32:59,809
Ugh.

725
00:33:03,681 --> 00:33:05,881
Doc, Doc, did you hear?

726
00:33:05,884 --> 00:33:07,986
Yeah, oh, yeah, I heard.

727
00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:09,487
So now you believe me.

728
00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:11,318
I don't know what to believe.

729
00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:13,393
Yeah, but it was a match, right?
That's what the man said.

730
00:33:13,394 --> 00:33:14,732
Yes!

731
00:33:15,626 --> 00:33:17,126
Uh...
Oh.

732
00:33:17,695 --> 00:33:19,255
All right.

733
00:33:19,264 --> 00:33:22,433
I don't necessarily believe you.

734
00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:24,772
Okay, you dumb bastard,
what more proof do you need?

735
00:33:24,773 --> 00:33:28,010
But I don't necessarily think
that you're lying either.

736
00:33:28,011 --> 00:33:31,876
I just...
(SIGHS) Jesus.

737
00:33:31,877 --> 00:33:34,607
Yeah, well, I've been busy, pal.

738
00:33:35,446 --> 00:33:37,646
That's what Sam always said.

739
00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:39,417
Said?

740
00:33:39,418 --> 00:33:41,148
Dude, I'm not dead.
I'm standing right here.

741
00:33:41,153 --> 00:33:43,623
Oh, God, I need a drink, Jesus.

742
00:33:50,061 --> 00:33:52,901
Doc, you're my best friend.

743
00:33:54,232 --> 00:33:56,732
Actually, you're my only friend.

744
00:33:56,735 --> 00:33:58,295
Doc, you gotta believe me.

745
00:33:58,303 --> 00:33:59,703
Man, you gotta help me.

746
00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:01,835
I just... I don't know
where to turn.

747
00:34:03,641 --> 00:34:05,281
I wanna...

748
00:34:06,110 --> 00:34:09,647
I wanna help you, Sam.

749
00:34:09,648 --> 00:34:11,048
Sam, that's a good start.

750
00:34:11,050 --> 00:34:12,817
But I don't know how.

751
00:34:12,818 --> 00:34:15,088
Well, goddamned if I know!

752
00:34:17,321 --> 00:34:18,821
When did this happen?

753
00:34:19,524 --> 00:34:21,592
After the bachelor party.

754
00:34:21,593 --> 00:34:24,062
And what did you say to me right
when you left the bachelor party?

755
00:34:24,063 --> 00:34:26,397
Mind your own frickin' business.

756
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:28,966
Shit.
Prick.

757
00:34:28,967 --> 00:34:31,367
So I go into this little
shop down in the Village,

758
00:34:31,370 --> 00:34:33,770
I talk to some funny old dude.

759
00:34:33,772 --> 00:34:36,172
I go home, I wake up in the
morning, and I'm a chick.

760
00:34:36,175 --> 00:34:38,535
Do you remember
where this place was?

761
00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:40,411
Well, I don't know exactly.

762
00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:41,882
Well, come on.

763
00:34:42,613 --> 00:34:44,083
Come on!

764
00:34:46,684 --> 00:34:47,884
(MOANS)

765
00:34:50,688 --> 00:34:53,157
DOC: So where's
this magical shop?

766
00:34:53,158 --> 00:34:55,188
I'm telling you,
this is the street.

767
00:34:55,194 --> 00:34:57,794
Hmm. Sure.

768
00:34:58,529 --> 00:34:59,997
Um, excuse me.

769
00:34:59,998 --> 00:35:01,328
Hi, excuse me.

770
00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:03,171
I'm sorry, is there,
um, like a little

771
00:35:03,172 --> 00:35:05,538
bric-a-brac shop on this street?
A what?

772
00:35:05,539 --> 00:35:07,467
You know, like, um, uh,
a shop with like

773
00:35:07,473 --> 00:35:09,173
a whole bunch of old crap in it?

774
00:35:09,174 --> 00:35:10,844
MAN: In this neighborhood? Yeah.

775
00:35:10,845 --> 00:35:12,612
Yeah, maybe like 50 years ago.

776
00:35:12,613 --> 00:35:14,581
You know what the rent
is like around here?

777
00:35:14,582 --> 00:35:15,810
(CHUCKLES)

778
00:35:17,682 --> 00:35:19,452
(MOCKING) "You know what the
rent is like around here?"

779
00:35:19,453 --> 00:35:20,651
Nah-nah.

780
00:35:21,185 --> 00:35:22,545
Bric-a-brac?

781
00:35:22,554 --> 00:35:23,888
Okay, okay, fine.

782
00:35:23,889 --> 00:35:25,756
Maybe it's not this street.

783
00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:27,317
Maybe you're not Sam.

784
00:35:27,326 --> 00:35:29,486
I have patients in the
morning, and I'm gonna go.

785
00:35:29,495 --> 00:35:30,755
No, no, wait, okay, wait, wait.

786
00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:34,332
Just... Can we meet
tomorrow then at our spot?

787
00:35:34,333 --> 00:35:35,573
You know what I'm talking about?

788
00:35:35,574 --> 00:35:37,367
I do, but do you?

789
00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:39,539
Alice in Wonderland statue,
Central Park.

790
00:35:39,540 --> 00:35:41,338
Well?

791
00:35:41,340 --> 00:35:43,370
Dude, come on, deal?

792
00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:47,237
Cool.

793
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:07,997
She even eats like him.

794
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:11,297
(SIGHS)

795
00:36:11,303 --> 00:36:13,143
Why, you got a problem?

796
00:36:13,771 --> 00:36:15,339
You're a pig.

797
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:18,410
Yeah, well, I'm hungry.

798
00:36:19,710 --> 00:36:22,110
(MOUTHFUL)
Hey, finished with that?

799
00:36:22,114 --> 00:36:23,314
No?

800
00:36:29,620 --> 00:36:30,990
All right, let's go
to your office.

801
00:36:30,991 --> 00:36:32,489
I want you to examine me.

802
00:36:33,591 --> 00:36:35,059
(EXCLAIMS) What?

803
00:36:35,060 --> 00:36:37,990
No! No.
Eww, no way!

804
00:36:37,996 --> 00:36:40,096
Maybe you can find something.

805
00:36:40,098 --> 00:36:41,728
Like my cock.

806
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,800
No.

807
00:36:43,802 --> 00:36:45,502
Why the hell not?

808
00:36:45,504 --> 00:36:48,139
Because it's weird, that's why.

809
00:36:48,140 --> 00:36:50,470
I'm not looking for your cock.

810
00:36:50,475 --> 00:36:53,175
I'll send you
a referral or something.

811
00:36:53,178 --> 00:36:56,678
I don't want another
gynecologist, I want you.

812
00:36:56,682 --> 00:36:59,252
You're my best friend.
Nice talking to you.

813
00:37:04,422 --> 00:37:06,222
(CHUCKLING)

814
00:37:06,225 --> 00:37:08,255
My gynecologist.

815
00:37:08,260 --> 00:37:10,390
I hear he's very good.

816
00:37:15,399 --> 00:37:17,229
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

817
00:37:17,236 --> 00:37:19,396
SAM: Yo, Sey.

818
00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:22,940
Lulu, you are looking
lovely as usual.

819
00:37:22,941 --> 00:37:24,609
I'm sorry, who are you?

820
00:37:24,610 --> 00:37:27,840
Oh, Lulu, this is
Sam's cousin, Samantha.

821
00:37:27,846 --> 00:37:29,406
She's just filling in for Sam

822
00:37:29,414 --> 00:37:31,754
while he's off on
some little sabbatical.

823
00:37:31,755 --> 00:37:33,317
Family business.

824
00:37:33,318 --> 00:37:34,678
Oh.

825
00:37:34,686 --> 00:37:36,816
Oh, nothing serious.
Uh, but excuse me.

826
00:37:36,822 --> 00:37:40,491
I gotta take a leak.
A pee... A pi... Um...

827
00:37:40,492 --> 00:37:42,662
Gonna use
the little girl's room.

828
00:37:42,663 --> 00:37:44,091
(CLICKS TONGUE)

829
00:37:44,096 --> 00:37:46,696
She's quite a pistol,
that one. (CHUCKLES)

830
00:37:46,698 --> 00:37:50,268
Seymour, that girl
needs a makeover.

831
00:37:50,269 --> 00:37:53,099
She cannot meet my new
partner looking like that.

832
00:37:53,105 --> 00:37:55,365
You're absolutely right.
I'll speak to her.

833
00:37:55,374 --> 00:37:57,544
You know,
she's not from New York.

834
00:37:57,545 --> 00:37:59,342
Oh, where is she from?

835
00:37:59,344 --> 00:38:01,312
Uh, she's from, uh...

836
00:38:01,313 --> 00:38:04,113
Um, actually, I don't know
where she's from.

837
00:38:04,116 --> 00:38:07,546
Well, just make sure she
does something with herself.

838
00:38:07,552 --> 00:38:10,921
Yes, darling.
And Seymour,

839
00:38:10,922 --> 00:38:13,262
you haven't forgotten
our little toys

840
00:38:13,263 --> 00:38:16,327
for our rendezvous
later tonight?

841
00:38:16,328 --> 00:38:20,598
Or else you will feel
the sting of my spatula.

842
00:38:20,599 --> 00:38:22,799
No, I...
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

843
00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:24,301
I'm never without them.

844
00:38:24,303 --> 00:38:26,403
And besides, I love
the sting of your spatula.

845
00:38:26,405 --> 00:38:27,895
Mmm.

846
00:38:27,906 --> 00:38:30,406
I have got you trained
so well, don't I?

847
00:38:30,409 --> 00:38:32,239
Who's your little puppy?

848
00:38:32,244 --> 00:38:33,444
Mmm.

849
00:38:33,445 --> 00:38:35,005
(BARKS)
Oh!

850
00:38:35,013 --> 00:38:36,753
(LAUGHING)

851
00:38:37,748 --> 00:38:39,118
Mmm.

852
00:38:41,519 --> 00:38:43,819
See you later. Mmm-hmm. (BARKS)

853
00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:51,360
(EXHALES)
Samantha?

854
00:38:51,363 --> 00:38:53,431
Oh! Down.
Do what?

855
00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:54,702
(WHISPERS)
Get down.

856
00:38:54,703 --> 00:38:57,600
Okay, um, is this yours?

857
00:38:57,602 --> 00:39:00,271
Oh, yeah.
(CHUCKLES)

858
00:39:00,272 --> 00:39:01,639
Damned earring.

859
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:03,170
I don't know how the hell
they wear these things.

860
00:39:03,175 --> 00:39:05,575
Oh, they fall out so easy.

861
00:39:05,577 --> 00:39:08,007
Listen, um, I know it's
sometimes rough starting

862
00:39:08,013 --> 00:39:11,513
a new job, but I think
you will like it here.

863
00:39:11,516 --> 00:39:15,486
Yeah, yeah, I'm, uh,
getting used to it already.

864
00:39:15,487 --> 00:39:20,057
I just want you to know
that I'm here for you, okay?

865
00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:22,028
Thanks, Margaret.
Yeah, thanks a lot.

866
00:39:22,029 --> 00:39:24,827
You know, us girls
gotta stick together.

867
00:39:24,830 --> 00:39:27,498
Um, yeah.

868
00:39:27,499 --> 00:39:30,929
Listen, um, have you
heard from Sam?

869
00:39:30,936 --> 00:39:33,636
Sam? Oh, God, are you okay?

870
00:39:33,638 --> 00:39:35,638
I mean, Samantha.

871
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,140
Could I have a word
with you, please?

872
00:39:38,709 --> 00:39:40,409
Uh, yeah.

873
00:39:40,412 --> 00:39:42,012
Margaret.

874
00:39:44,782 --> 00:39:46,452
Thank you.
Gotcha.

875
00:39:47,351 --> 00:39:48,621
What's going on around here?

876
00:39:48,622 --> 00:39:50,050
Oh, shit.

877
00:39:51,322 --> 00:39:53,861
You're beside yourself.
What's going on?

878
00:39:53,862 --> 00:39:55,629
I'm fine.
Everything's fine.

879
00:39:55,630 --> 00:39:59,527
Well, listen, we have this
very important presentation

880
00:39:59,531 --> 00:40:01,031
for Lulu coming up.

881
00:40:01,032 --> 00:40:03,601
Yeah, I know, I'm...
I'm working on it right now.

882
00:40:03,602 --> 00:40:05,872
Right, well, I need you
to do me a favor.

883
00:40:05,873 --> 00:40:08,471
I'd like you to go see my friend, Al.
He's a...

884
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,609
He's an image consultant.

885
00:40:11,610 --> 00:40:13,077
Phew.

886
00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:15,078
You think I need
an image consultant?

887
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,850
I mean, it couldn't hurt to let
him fix you up a little bit.

888
00:40:17,851 --> 00:40:19,919
I mean, on the company,
of course.

889
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,787
Okay, if you... That's what
you think that I need.

890
00:40:22,788 --> 00:40:24,118
I mean, come on.

891
00:40:24,122 --> 00:40:27,291
All women love makeovers, right?

892
00:40:27,292 --> 00:40:30,027
I'm not all women, believe me.

893
00:40:30,028 --> 00:40:32,396
Oh, believe me, I believe you.

894
00:40:32,397 --> 00:40:33,997
I can see for myself.

895
00:40:33,999 --> 00:40:38,199
I mean, sometimes you seem
really tense, you know?

896
00:40:38,203 --> 00:40:39,370
Okay.

897
00:40:39,371 --> 00:40:41,701
What's the matter?
I give a great massage.

898
00:40:41,706 --> 00:40:43,636
Yeah, well, you know, I...

899
00:40:43,642 --> 00:40:45,876
Have very tender muscles.

900
00:40:45,877 --> 00:40:48,077
(CHUCKLING)
Tell me about it.

901
00:40:48,079 --> 00:40:49,949
I have a tender muscle
as we speak.

902
00:40:49,950 --> 00:40:51,508
Yeah, okay, so what...

903
00:40:51,516 --> 00:40:53,916
What kind of a makeover
were you thinking?

904
00:40:53,919 --> 00:40:56,919
Nah, just, you know,
maybe a little makeup.

905
00:40:56,922 --> 00:41:00,092
And hair and maybe a
little cleavage, you know.

906
00:41:00,093 --> 00:41:02,431
Something a little more
flattering down here.

907
00:41:02,432 --> 00:41:04,827
Okay, yeah, goddamn it, Seymour.

908
00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:07,600
What? You're a frickin'
octopus, you know that?

909
00:41:07,601 --> 00:41:11,068
Samantha, that language
is very unladylike.

910
00:41:11,069 --> 00:41:13,838
Oh, yeah? Who said
I'm a lady, huh?

911
00:41:13,839 --> 00:41:17,109
Look, I know you're upset. Come here.
I just wanna give you a hug.

912
00:41:17,110 --> 00:41:18,678
Hey, can I do anything for you?

913
00:41:18,679 --> 00:41:20,577
Yeah, yeah, you can.

914
00:41:20,579 --> 00:41:22,479
You can get me a frickin' gun.

915
00:41:22,481 --> 00:41:24,181
(SEYMOUR CHUCKLES)

916
00:41:24,182 --> 00:41:27,052
Wow. Very sensitive.

917
00:41:27,451 --> 00:41:28,921
Clearly.

918
00:41:29,653 --> 00:41:31,153
How 'bout you?

919
00:41:31,156 --> 00:41:32,816
How 'bout me what?

920
00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:34,724
Are you tense?

921
00:41:34,726 --> 00:41:37,026
Loose as a goose,
Mr. Cavalo.

922
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,868
Shame.

923
00:41:49,773 --> 00:41:51,442
(SIGHS)

924
00:41:51,443 --> 00:41:53,243
Yes, Miss, what can I get you?

925
00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:54,975
Okay, uh, let's see,

926
00:41:54,980 --> 00:41:57,149
a pint and a shot
of whiskey, please.

927
00:41:57,150 --> 00:41:59,517
And, um, actually,
can you give me the whiskey

928
00:41:59,518 --> 00:42:01,818
while you pour the pint?
Certainly.

929
00:42:03,754 --> 00:42:05,394
You look like you could use one.

930
00:42:06,123 --> 00:42:08,063
Here you go.
Enjoy.

931
00:42:10,794 --> 00:42:12,496
Oh.

932
00:42:12,497 --> 00:42:14,857
You know, I just love a woman

933
00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:17,926
who knows how to drink a drink.

934
00:42:17,936 --> 00:42:20,796
Are you ser... Seriously, dude,
just screw off, all right?

935
00:42:20,805 --> 00:42:22,465
You... You don't
have to get nasty.

936
00:42:22,474 --> 00:42:24,774
I was gonna buy you
the next one.

937
00:42:24,776 --> 00:42:26,076
Maybe two.

938
00:42:26,077 --> 00:42:28,777
Okay, you know what?
Barkeep, here.

939
00:42:28,780 --> 00:42:29,980
Cancel the pint.

940
00:42:31,248 --> 00:42:32,716
Screw off, man.

941
00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:34,547
Your loss, baby.

942
00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:43,431
Hi, may I offer you
some scotch and sofa?

943
00:42:51,001 --> 00:42:52,241
Oh.

944
00:42:53,037 --> 00:42:54,567
(GASPING)

945
00:42:54,573 --> 00:42:56,143
(SAM SHRIEKING)

946
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:02,110
(DOORBELL BUZZING)

947
00:43:02,113 --> 00:43:03,613
DOC: What is go...

948
00:43:03,615 --> 00:43:05,675
I'll get rid of whoever
it is, all right?

949
00:43:07,718 --> 00:43:09,186
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

950
00:43:09,187 --> 00:43:11,187
Yah! Yes?

951
00:43:11,189 --> 00:43:12,556
Jesus.

952
00:43:12,557 --> 00:43:14,557
(PANTING)

953
00:43:14,559 --> 00:43:15,889
Doc.
Oh, no.

954
00:43:15,894 --> 00:43:17,728
Please, no.

955
00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:18,996
I'm bleeding.

956
00:43:18,997 --> 00:43:20,497
Now is not a good time.

957
00:43:20,498 --> 00:43:25,168
I have been hemorrhaging
all night down there.

958
00:43:25,170 --> 00:43:27,270
You're menstruating.
(EXCLAIMING) What?

959
00:43:27,272 --> 00:43:28,812
You're having your period.

960
00:43:28,813 --> 00:43:30,907
I'm riding the cotton pony?

961
00:43:30,909 --> 00:43:32,309
Andrew?

962
00:43:32,310 --> 00:43:34,110
Doesn't your colorful
friend realize

963
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,582
that office hours haven't begun?

964
00:43:35,583 --> 00:43:37,380
Doc, what am I gonna do?

965
00:43:37,382 --> 00:43:38,782
Buy yourself some tampons.

966
00:43:38,783 --> 00:43:41,051
Oh, my God.

967
00:43:41,052 --> 00:43:42,886
Okay, you need
to leave right now.

968
00:43:42,887 --> 00:43:44,087
You need to... You need to
get out of here. Andrew,

969
00:43:44,089 --> 00:43:45,557
you should make her
leave this instant.

970
00:43:45,558 --> 00:43:47,057
Oh, she's still bossing
you around, huh?

971
00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:49,258
Oh! Andrew,
I can't believe

972
00:43:49,260 --> 00:43:52,460
that you are letting this
creature talk to me like that.

973
00:43:52,464 --> 00:43:54,064
(MOCKING) "Oh, Andrew, I can't
believe you're allowing

974
00:43:54,065 --> 00:43:55,595
"this creature to talk
to me like that."

975
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,670
Fuck you and the horse
that you rode in on.

976
00:43:57,671 --> 00:44:00,169
DOC: Please, please! Do I
have to throw you out myself?

977
00:44:00,171 --> 00:44:02,539
Oh! Try it, bitch.

978
00:44:02,540 --> 00:44:04,810
I am warning you,
I do kickboxing.

979
00:44:04,811 --> 00:44:06,379
(CHUCKLING)
Chicks only hit chicks

980
00:44:06,380 --> 00:44:08,278
in the movies, am I right?

981
00:44:08,279 --> 00:44:09,449
(SLAPS)

982
00:44:10,214 --> 00:44:12,349
Yeah?
(GASPING) Yeah!

983
00:44:12,350 --> 00:44:14,450
DOC: Stop it, stop, stop!

984
00:44:14,452 --> 00:44:16,120
(SHRIEKING)
Ah! Ow!

985
00:44:16,121 --> 00:44:17,988
Get off of me!
(GRUNTING)

986
00:44:17,989 --> 00:44:19,919
(SQUEALING)

987
00:44:19,924 --> 00:44:21,024
(SAM SHOUTS)

988
00:44:21,725 --> 00:44:23,025
(CYNTHIA SCREAMING)

989
00:44:23,028 --> 00:44:24,128
Stop!

990
00:44:24,129 --> 00:44:26,029
Get her off of me!
God!

991
00:44:26,031 --> 00:44:27,361
No!

992
00:44:27,365 --> 00:44:30,195
All right, enough, enough!

993
00:44:30,201 --> 00:44:31,871
She started it!
She started it!

994
00:44:32,770 --> 00:44:35,200
Sam, I think you better go.

995
00:44:35,739 --> 00:44:37,508
Sam?

996
00:44:37,509 --> 00:44:39,309
Did you just call her Sam?

997
00:44:39,310 --> 00:44:42,046
Samantha, she's, uh,
Sam's cousin.

998
00:44:42,047 --> 00:44:43,447
Oh.

999
00:44:43,448 --> 00:44:45,648
Oh, okay, well, this
makes perfect sense.

1000
00:44:45,650 --> 00:44:47,520
Shut up.
Why doesn't she go?

1001
00:44:47,521 --> 00:44:50,988
Because she is my fiancee.

1002
00:44:50,989 --> 00:44:53,989
And you are my patient.

1003
00:44:53,992 --> 00:44:56,560
Don't ever do this again.

1004
00:44:56,561 --> 00:44:58,030
Wait, no, can we just...

1005
00:44:58,031 --> 00:44:59,398
Can we just talk about this?

1006
00:44:59,399 --> 00:45:01,197
Later. Well, wait,
but later-later,

1007
00:45:01,199 --> 00:45:04,029
or never-later?
Just go.

1008
00:45:04,035 --> 00:45:05,265
Oh.

1009
00:45:05,836 --> 00:45:06,996
Wait.

1010
00:45:20,651 --> 00:45:23,321
Well, what am I supposed
to do with these?

1011
00:45:31,195 --> 00:45:32,725
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

1012
00:45:33,597 --> 00:45:35,127
(WHISPERING) Great.

1013
00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:44,169
You're her to see
Mr. Blondell?

1014
00:45:44,175 --> 00:45:46,175
Yeah, yeah.

1015
00:45:46,177 --> 00:45:48,677
Okay, he's with a client.

1016
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:50,250
I gotta get back.

1017
00:45:51,882 --> 00:45:53,122
(EXCLAIMS)

1018
00:45:56,019 --> 00:45:59,319
Whatever you do,
don't make a sound.

1019
00:45:59,324 --> 00:46:02,794
And don't touch anything.

1020
00:46:04,194 --> 00:46:05,964
Okay.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

1021
00:46:13,337 --> 00:46:14,867
Mother, isn't it just divine?

1022
00:46:14,873 --> 00:46:16,243
It's... It's glorious.

1023
00:46:16,244 --> 00:46:18,709
Shall I wrap it?
Alexander?

1024
00:46:18,710 --> 00:46:21,410
ALEXANDER: I can see clear now
that my work is done here.

1025
00:46:21,412 --> 00:46:22,679
(ALL CHUCKLING)

1026
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:25,010
Thank you, Alexander.
You're wonderful.

1027
00:46:25,016 --> 00:46:27,376
Mwah, mwah.

1028
00:46:27,385 --> 00:46:29,385
Thank you.
Mwah, mwah.

1029
00:46:29,387 --> 00:46:32,117
Come on, honey,
you look gorgeous!

1030
00:46:34,024 --> 00:46:36,034
Oh, Marie, pretty box.

1031
00:46:44,701 --> 00:46:46,571
Oh, and don't forget the purse!

1032
00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:57,879
You're Samantha,
my 1:30.

1033
00:46:58,415 --> 00:47:00,345
Yeah, no.

1034
00:47:00,351 --> 00:47:02,419
No, I'm a...

1035
00:47:02,420 --> 00:47:04,250
I'm a...
I gotta go.

1036
00:47:04,255 --> 00:47:05,485
Come here.

1037
00:47:05,490 --> 00:47:07,220
Okay, look, pal...

1038
00:47:07,225 --> 00:47:08,755
I am not pal.

1039
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:10,828
I am Alexander Blondell.

1040
00:47:10,829 --> 00:47:12,859
Cool, uh, look, Al...

1041
00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:15,098
Mr. Blondell.

1042
00:47:15,099 --> 00:47:19,136
Blondie.
Mr. Blondell.

1043
00:47:19,137 --> 00:47:21,767
Okay, well, this is
clearly a mistake.

1044
00:47:21,773 --> 00:47:23,113
I don't make mistakes.

1045
00:47:23,114 --> 00:47:25,507
I make miracles.
And, my dear,

1046
00:47:25,510 --> 00:47:28,640
you are in desperate
need of one.

1047
00:47:28,646 --> 00:47:31,846
Now come here.
I don't bite.

1048
00:47:31,850 --> 00:47:34,420
Unless you displease me.
(CHUCKLES)

1049
00:47:38,755 --> 00:47:39,915
Turn around.

1050
00:47:43,527 --> 00:47:44,787
Gum.

1051
00:47:51,368 --> 00:47:52,938
Hmm...

1052
00:47:53,570 --> 00:47:54,800
Hmm.

1053
00:47:54,806 --> 00:47:56,236
Hmm.

1054
00:47:56,241 --> 00:47:57,941
Is...
No, det-det-det-det.

1055
00:47:57,942 --> 00:48:00,110
I'm evaluating you.

1056
00:48:00,111 --> 00:48:02,141
Skin, repulsive.

1057
00:48:02,146 --> 00:48:03,306
Nails, oh, my God,

1058
00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:05,054
what are you a migrant worker?

1059
00:48:05,055 --> 00:48:06,619
That hair.

1060
00:48:08,085 --> 00:48:10,045
Did you just throw up? Mmm.

1061
00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:12,923
I do believe that covers
the preliminaries.

1062
00:48:12,924 --> 00:48:14,424
Okay, cool,
so what's the deal then?

1063
00:48:14,425 --> 00:48:15,925
Did I pass or what?
(CHUCKLING)

1064
00:48:15,927 --> 00:48:18,357
If you had passed, there would
be nothing for us to do.

1065
00:48:18,363 --> 00:48:19,696
(SIGHING)

1066
00:48:19,697 --> 00:48:21,227
My studio, tomorrow,
3:00 p.m.,

1067
00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:22,902
and let's do try
to be on time now.

1068
00:48:22,903 --> 00:48:24,101
Shall we?

1069
00:48:25,035 --> 00:48:28,235
Marie, do something.

1070
00:48:33,944 --> 00:48:37,614
ALEXANDER: Yes, there is such a
thing as an overheated balance.

1071
00:48:37,615 --> 00:48:39,345
Look at it!

1072
00:48:39,350 --> 00:48:41,580
No, I do not want puce.
I do not want pilot.

1073
00:48:41,586 --> 00:48:43,016
It's all...
It looks like a...

1074
00:48:43,021 --> 00:48:44,851
(KNOCKING)
<i>Entrez, entrez!</i>

1075
00:48:44,856 --> 00:48:47,056
It looks like
a bad Picasso, really.

1076
00:48:47,058 --> 00:48:48,928
No, I don't mean to insult you.
I know he's fantastic.

1077
00:48:48,929 --> 00:48:51,287
He's a wonderful
designer, but I...

1078
00:48:51,296 --> 00:48:53,526
Oh, oh, my God.

1079
00:48:53,531 --> 00:48:55,399
I'll have to call you back.

1080
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,600
My 3:00 lump of clay
has arrived.

1081
00:48:58,702 --> 00:49:00,472
Be a dear, put this on.

1082
00:49:01,004 --> 00:49:03,206
(SNIFFLING)

1083
00:49:03,207 --> 00:49:05,267
Uh, yeah, man, listen, uh,

1084
00:49:05,276 --> 00:49:07,306
I'm not here for dance lessons.

1085
00:49:07,312 --> 00:49:10,052
Oh, honey, after 30
years in choreography,

1086
00:49:10,053 --> 00:49:14,117
the last thing I want to do is
to give you a dance lesson.

1087
00:49:14,118 --> 00:49:18,448
I am here to teach you
to be a girl.

1088
00:49:18,456 --> 00:49:19,786
What?
Oh, you know,

1089
00:49:19,791 --> 00:49:21,391
pink ribbons and petticoats.

1090
00:49:21,392 --> 00:49:22,630
Should I try bangs?

1091
00:49:22,631 --> 00:49:24,187
Let's bake brownies
and call boys.

1092
00:49:24,195 --> 00:49:25,795
You're kidding, right?

1093
00:49:25,797 --> 00:49:29,027
Oh, don't think of it as losing
your Quasimodo posture or...

1094
00:49:29,033 --> 00:49:30,433
(SIGHS)

1095
00:49:30,435 --> 00:49:32,095
that hair.

1096
00:49:32,103 --> 00:49:35,203
Think of it as gaining
a new sense of style.

1097
00:49:35,206 --> 00:49:36,866
Not to mention
a brand-new arsenal

1098
00:49:36,874 --> 00:49:38,909
in the war between the sexes.

1099
00:49:38,910 --> 00:49:41,178
Yeah, see, dude, uh,

1100
00:49:41,179 --> 00:49:42,949
my sexes are
warring enough, so...

1101
00:49:42,950 --> 00:49:44,077
(SHUSHING)
No.

1102
00:49:44,082 --> 00:49:45,312
No.
No!

1103
00:49:53,090 --> 00:49:57,290
My "galdar" tells me
you like to wager.

1104
00:49:57,295 --> 00:49:59,225
I'm sorry, did you say "galdar"?

1105
00:49:59,230 --> 00:50:03,630
Yes, it's like gaydar except
it reads women flawlessly.

1106
00:50:03,634 --> 00:50:05,068
Hmm.

1107
00:50:05,069 --> 00:50:07,269
You like to bet.

1108
00:50:07,271 --> 00:50:08,971
Yeah, I mean, I've, uh,

1109
00:50:08,973 --> 00:50:10,273
I've shuffled a deck or two.

1110
00:50:10,274 --> 00:50:11,744
Well, I've got a wager for you.

1111
00:50:11,745 --> 00:50:15,443
If after two weeks with me,
you're not knocking them dead,

1112
00:50:15,446 --> 00:50:17,346
I'll pay you my fee.

1113
00:50:18,415 --> 00:50:19,945
All right, pal, you're on.

1114
00:50:19,951 --> 00:50:22,051
Okay, I detect a pattern here.

1115
00:50:22,053 --> 00:50:25,453
It's not pal, it's not dude, it's Mr.
Blondell.

1116
00:50:25,456 --> 00:50:28,416
M-I-S-T-E-R
B-L-O-N-D-E-L-L.

1117
00:50:28,426 --> 00:50:30,456
All right, whatever.
Now put this on.

1118
00:50:30,461 --> 00:50:32,831
No, dude, I...
I'm not wearing a tutu.

1119
00:50:32,832 --> 00:50:35,970
It is not a tutu, now put it on.

1120
00:50:40,337 --> 00:50:42,437
Okay, fine, whatever.

1121
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:44,710
Where do you want me
to put on the fucking tutu?

1122
00:50:46,810 --> 00:50:48,078
Oh, man.

1123
00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:50,779
You can wash your mouth out,
you little slut.

1124
00:50:50,782 --> 00:50:53,550
Any time before Armageddon
will be fine.

1125
00:50:53,551 --> 00:50:56,451
Ugh! Dude, seriously,
I'm not coming out in this.

1126
00:50:56,454 --> 00:50:59,224
Come out, come out,
whatever you are.

1127
00:51:06,530 --> 00:51:08,530
To the mirror.

1128
00:51:08,533 --> 00:51:11,401
To the mirror.

1129
00:51:11,402 --> 00:51:13,236
Tutu's creeping up my butt.

1130
00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:15,067
Not a pleasant journey
for the Lycra, now is it?

1131
00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:17,343
Hands out of your leotard.
(SIGHING)

1132
00:51:19,209 --> 00:51:21,979
Look at yourself.
What do you see?

1133
00:51:23,146 --> 00:51:25,076
Um...

1134
00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:26,620
I don't know, I see someone

1135
00:51:26,621 --> 00:51:28,777
who should've left
ten minutes ago?

1136
00:51:30,854 --> 00:51:32,289
I see beauty.

1137
00:51:32,290 --> 00:51:33,790
Just the very inkling of it.

1138
00:51:33,791 --> 00:51:38,291
First little bud pushing
its head above the earth.

1139
00:51:38,296 --> 00:51:39,796
But it is there.

1140
00:51:41,064 --> 00:51:42,734
And for the next two weeks,

1141
00:51:42,735 --> 00:51:48,803
you and I are going
to feed it and water it

1142
00:51:48,806 --> 00:51:52,906
and grow it into the most magnificent
flower of feminine exquisiteness

1143
00:51:52,910 --> 00:51:56,050
since Audrey Hepburn had her
breakfast at Tiffany's.

1144
00:51:56,051 --> 00:51:59,647
And so, my little gamine,

1145
00:51:59,650 --> 00:52:02,690
do you have the courage
to bloom?

1146
00:52:04,554 --> 00:52:06,690
Uh, um...

1147
00:52:06,691 --> 00:52:08,661
I don't know, would it make
a difference if I said no?

1148
00:52:08,662 --> 00:52:10,389
Absolutely not.

1149
00:52:10,394 --> 00:52:12,034
(SOFTLY) Let's get started.

1150
00:52:12,035 --> 00:52:13,429
♪

1151
00:52:18,768 --> 00:52:21,968
(INAUDIBLE)

1152
00:52:22,606 --> 00:52:25,666
♪

1153
00:53:30,774 --> 00:53:33,384
All right, Mrs. Smith?

1154
00:53:47,490 --> 00:53:48,590
No.

1155
00:53:49,125 --> 00:53:50,725
Doc, you okay?

1156
00:53:50,728 --> 00:53:52,328
No.
SAM: Doc.

1157
00:53:52,330 --> 00:53:53,430
No.
SAM: Doc!

1158
00:53:53,431 --> 00:53:54,731
No.

1159
00:53:54,732 --> 00:53:55,932
SAM: (SIGHS) Doc?

1160
00:53:58,268 --> 00:53:59,968
(DOC EXHALES)

1161
00:54:02,739 --> 00:54:06,539
Doc, please just hear me out.
No.

1162
00:54:06,544 --> 00:54:09,354
(SHAKILY) Doc, please.

1163
00:54:10,447 --> 00:54:12,207
You have five minutes.

1164
00:54:12,216 --> 00:54:13,446
Well, I paid for an hour.

1165
00:54:13,451 --> 00:54:15,451
I'll reimburse you.

1166
00:54:16,386 --> 00:54:18,616
Four minutes, 50 seconds.

1167
00:54:18,623 --> 00:54:20,192
Why don't you start
by telling me

1168
00:54:20,193 --> 00:54:22,729
what the hell
you're doing in my office?

1169
00:54:22,730 --> 00:54:25,227
Well, I tried calling you.
I've tried e-mailing you.

1170
00:54:25,229 --> 00:54:26,829
It's been two weeks!

1171
00:54:26,831 --> 00:54:29,566
I was hoping
you'd get the message.

1172
00:54:29,567 --> 00:54:31,397
What message?
The message...

1173
00:54:31,402 --> 00:54:35,772
That my life was fine
before you happened!

1174
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:37,307
And totally screwed
everything up.

1175
00:54:37,308 --> 00:54:38,668
Did you think
I was just gonna forget

1176
00:54:38,676 --> 00:54:41,736
how you nearly broke up
Cynthia and I?

1177
00:54:41,746 --> 00:54:44,206
Doc, we're dudes.

1178
00:54:44,215 --> 00:54:46,545
We fight, get drunk,
and then make up.

1179
00:54:47,517 --> 00:54:50,387
We are not dudes, Sam!

1180
00:54:50,388 --> 00:54:54,618
Only one of us is a dude!
That's the problem!

1181
00:54:54,625 --> 00:54:55,985
(EXHALES)

1182
00:54:55,993 --> 00:54:59,229
That's always going
to be the problem.

1183
00:54:59,230 --> 00:55:01,460
Don't you think that
I'm sick of this, too?

1184
00:55:01,465 --> 00:55:04,195
Hearing Alvin the Chipmunk
coming out of my mouth

1185
00:55:04,201 --> 00:55:05,531
every time I speak?

1186
00:55:05,536 --> 00:55:08,836
Having this face staring
back at me every morning!

1187
00:55:08,839 --> 00:55:12,609
Okay, relax,
it's not such a bad face.

1188
00:55:12,610 --> 00:55:14,440
Maybe you could get used to it.

1189
00:55:14,445 --> 00:55:15,935
No, Doc, no.

1190
00:55:15,946 --> 00:55:17,846
I'm not gonna get used to this.

1191
00:55:17,848 --> 00:55:20,048
I don't wanna live
this life anymore.

1192
00:55:20,051 --> 00:55:22,581
Hey, don't talk like that.

1193
00:55:22,586 --> 00:55:24,386
(EXHALES)

1194
00:55:24,388 --> 00:55:28,418
You know about... About
drugs and hormone therapy

1195
00:55:28,426 --> 00:55:31,256
and all that, so...

1196
00:55:31,262 --> 00:55:33,332
I don't know, maybe
if I was a dude again,

1197
00:55:33,333 --> 00:55:36,299
then everything
would just be okay.

1198
00:55:36,300 --> 00:55:38,970
You know, maybe we could
go back to being friends.

1199
00:55:41,271 --> 00:55:43,711
You're serious.
As a heart attack.

1200
00:55:45,775 --> 00:55:47,375
What you're talking about

1201
00:55:47,378 --> 00:55:49,708
requires a lot more
than hormones.

1202
00:55:52,515 --> 00:55:53,615
How much more?

1203
00:55:53,617 --> 00:55:55,177
We're talking about
serious stuff.

1204
00:55:55,186 --> 00:55:57,546
I mean, it's a full sex change.

1205
00:55:57,555 --> 00:56:00,385
Major, major stuff.

1206
00:56:00,391 --> 00:56:01,961
How major we talking?

1207
00:56:14,304 --> 00:56:15,904
(MUTTERING)

1208
00:56:15,906 --> 00:56:17,566
You okay?

1209
00:56:20,310 --> 00:56:21,840
You sure you wanna do this?

1210
00:56:24,914 --> 00:56:27,150
Give it some time, okay?

1211
00:56:27,151 --> 00:56:28,881
Take a minute.

1212
00:56:28,886 --> 00:56:30,416
How about we...

1213
00:56:30,421 --> 00:56:33,391
We just think it over and...

1214
00:56:36,226 --> 00:56:37,926
(EXHALES)

1215
00:56:37,928 --> 00:56:39,328
Okay.

1216
00:56:39,330 --> 00:56:42,400
Let's just keep this between
the two of us, all right?

1217
00:56:44,501 --> 00:56:46,031
Mum's the word, pal.

1218
00:56:49,339 --> 00:56:51,608
You know, I am...
I'm starving.

1219
00:56:51,609 --> 00:56:54,377
Wanna grab a bite?

1220
00:56:54,378 --> 00:56:56,078
And the man at the store
insisted that the ring

1221
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,248
was two carats, but I swear it
was a karat and a half at most,

1222
00:56:58,249 --> 00:56:59,779
and I wanted it yellow backed, anyway.
(SIGHS)

1223
00:56:59,784 --> 00:57:01,622
Oh, and get a medial dome
to go with the blooming veil.

1224
00:57:01,623 --> 00:57:03,589
I mean, a Y-dome would just get lost
in that kind of a dress, you know?

1225
00:57:03,590 --> 00:57:05,087
Oh, my God.
What?

1226
00:57:05,955 --> 00:57:08,415
I understood them.
Who?

1227
00:57:08,892 --> 00:57:10,660
Them.

1228
00:57:10,661 --> 00:57:12,901
I understood
what they said, I...

1229
00:57:12,902 --> 00:57:16,027
Doc, I speak woman.
Or, is it "womanese"?

1230
00:57:16,033 --> 00:57:17,300
(FORK CLATTERS)

1231
00:57:17,301 --> 00:57:18,601
Okay, you know what?
Five bucks.

1232
00:57:18,602 --> 00:57:19,972
Five bucks says
I know what they said.

1233
00:57:19,973 --> 00:57:21,970
Yeah?
You're on.

1234
00:57:21,972 --> 00:57:23,612
What'd they say?

1235
00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:35,183
(SCOFFS)

1236
00:57:35,186 --> 00:57:36,646
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1237
00:57:37,487 --> 00:57:39,017
Uh, excuse me, I...

1238
00:57:39,023 --> 00:57:40,790
(CHUCKLES) Ladies, I'm sorry,

1239
00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:42,991
I don't mean to be rude. I kinda
have a bet going with a friend,

1240
00:57:42,993 --> 00:57:44,333
and I just wanted
to ask you guys,

1241
00:57:44,334 --> 00:57:46,698
are you talking about
matching a yellow diamond

1242
00:57:46,699 --> 00:57:48,427
with a blue veil?

1243
00:57:48,432 --> 00:57:50,132
As a matter of fact,
we were, but...

1244
00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:52,204
Who the hell told
you that anyway?

1245
00:57:53,636 --> 00:57:54,836
Him.

1246
00:57:57,006 --> 00:57:58,766
WOMEN: (BOTH)
Check, please!

1247
00:58:07,584 --> 00:58:10,753
DOC: Where'd you learn
to eat like that?

1248
00:58:10,754 --> 00:58:11,954
Been taking lessons.

1249
00:58:12,889 --> 00:58:14,119
(CHUCKLING)

1250
00:58:17,627 --> 00:58:20,997
It's really good to see you
smile for a change.

1251
00:58:20,998 --> 00:58:23,566
(CHUCKLES)

1252
00:58:23,567 --> 00:58:26,567
So, am I allowed to ask
about you and you-know-who?

1253
00:58:26,570 --> 00:58:27,640
No.
(SLAMS FORK)

1254
00:58:30,740 --> 00:58:32,670
We're fine, okay?

1255
00:58:33,810 --> 00:58:36,610
She's fine.
That good, huh?

1256
00:58:36,614 --> 00:58:38,952
Okay, okay, okay, I'm...
Look, I'm behaving.

1257
00:58:38,953 --> 00:58:40,279
This is me behaving.

1258
00:58:42,652 --> 00:58:44,621
What?

1259
00:58:44,622 --> 00:58:46,152
Nothing.

1260
00:58:46,156 --> 00:58:48,056
(CLEARING THROAT)

1261
00:58:49,826 --> 00:58:52,226
Um...
(CLEARING THROAT)

1262
00:58:53,329 --> 00:58:56,199
In the office, uh,

1263
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:58,570
did you really mean
what you said about me

1264
00:58:58,571 --> 00:59:00,569
not looking so bad? (CHUCKLES)

1265
00:59:00,571 --> 00:59:02,201
Fishing for compliments?

1266
00:59:02,206 --> 00:59:03,366
Whatever, forget it.

1267
00:59:05,475 --> 00:59:07,135
I...

1268
00:59:07,144 --> 00:59:09,679
I, uh, meant what I said.

1269
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:13,850
You look pretty okay.

1270
00:59:15,652 --> 00:59:18,552
I look pretty okay
or I look pretty, okay?

1271
00:59:18,556 --> 00:59:20,156
You know what I mean.

1272
00:59:20,157 --> 00:59:23,327
And for the record, you don't
sound like Alvin the Chipmunk.

1273
00:59:24,761 --> 00:59:27,030
I don't, really?

1274
00:59:27,031 --> 00:59:29,501
Theodore, maybe.
(LAUGHING)

1275
00:59:34,003 --> 00:59:36,839
Hey, um...

1276
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:40,009
I need you to explain
something to me.

1277
00:59:40,010 --> 00:59:42,178
The doctor is in.

1278
00:59:42,179 --> 00:59:44,547
I, uh... (CHUCKLES)

1279
00:59:44,548 --> 00:59:46,148
I need you to explain to me

1280
00:59:46,150 --> 00:59:50,150
why there is nothing
happening down there.

1281
00:59:50,154 --> 00:59:51,921
You skipped your period.

1282
00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:53,522
What?
Oh, my God.

1283
00:59:53,524 --> 00:59:56,124
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

1284
00:59:56,126 --> 00:59:58,056
I, um...

1285
00:59:58,062 --> 01:00:01,062
You know, there's
nothing happening.

1286
01:00:01,065 --> 01:00:03,065
What?
Oh, God.

1287
01:00:03,067 --> 01:00:05,227
You know,
I look at girls, nothing.

1288
01:00:05,235 --> 01:00:07,865
I look at guys, nothing.
I look at porn, nothing.

1289
01:00:08,705 --> 01:00:10,565
So, what am I, frigid?

1290
01:00:10,574 --> 01:00:12,114
Do I have some kind
of mental problems?

1291
01:00:12,115 --> 01:00:14,077
I mean...

1292
01:00:14,078 --> 01:00:16,478
(SIGHS) I don't know, I feel
like a fucking female eunuch.

1293
01:00:18,581 --> 01:00:20,450
What? What?
A little louder.

1294
01:00:20,451 --> 01:00:22,551
I don't think they heard
you in Cleveland. Tsk.

1295
01:00:22,553 --> 01:00:23,893
Look...

1296
01:00:24,821 --> 01:00:26,656
It's complex.

1297
01:00:26,657 --> 01:00:28,187
Complex?

1298
01:00:28,192 --> 01:00:30,730
You touch 'em in the right
spot, they get hot.

1299
01:00:30,731 --> 01:00:32,658
Some women can achieve
full arousal

1300
01:00:32,663 --> 01:00:33,930
as quickly as men.

1301
01:00:33,931 --> 01:00:35,198
Most can't.

1302
01:00:35,199 --> 01:00:37,099
(SCOFFS) Yeah,
but that's just plumbing.

1303
01:00:37,101 --> 01:00:40,136
It takes them
a little longer to warm up,

1304
01:00:40,137 --> 01:00:42,167
but with me, there's just
like nothing happening.

1305
01:00:42,172 --> 01:00:43,710
Women have
a completely different

1306
01:00:43,711 --> 01:00:45,537
mind-body connection
than men.

1307
01:00:45,542 --> 01:00:47,542
Their arousal is more subtle.

1308
01:00:47,544 --> 01:00:49,612
It's more intricate.

1309
01:00:49,613 --> 01:00:52,613
Which, translated from New Age
psychobabble, means what?

1310
01:00:52,616 --> 01:00:54,876
They have to really like
the person they're with

1311
01:00:54,885 --> 01:00:56,275
to feel fully aroused.

1312
01:00:56,286 --> 01:00:58,986
Let's face it,
women are complicated.

1313
01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:01,089
Yeah, you're telling me.

1314
01:01:01,091 --> 01:01:02,961
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1315
01:01:04,427 --> 01:01:05,587
Oh, shoot.

1316
01:01:06,763 --> 01:01:08,331
The office.

1317
01:01:08,332 --> 01:01:10,272
Meeting got pushed up.
I gotta go.

1318
01:01:10,273 --> 01:01:11,627
(INHALES SHARPLY)

1319
01:01:13,269 --> 01:01:15,099
No.

1320
01:01:15,105 --> 01:01:16,805
What's wrong?

1321
01:01:16,807 --> 01:01:18,237
Can, um...

1322
01:01:18,242 --> 01:01:19,942
Can I just call you later

1323
01:01:19,943 --> 01:01:23,012
and maybe talk more
about the issue?

1324
01:01:23,013 --> 01:01:24,547
Sure.

1325
01:01:24,548 --> 01:01:27,778
Just, uh, remember
to stay out of trouble.

1326
01:01:27,785 --> 01:01:29,315
Promise.

1327
01:01:29,319 --> 01:01:31,049
Cross my tits and hope to die.

1328
01:01:31,055 --> 01:01:33,285
(CLICKS TONGUE, CHUCKLING)

1329
01:01:33,290 --> 01:01:34,720
See ya.

1330
01:01:47,203 --> 01:01:50,106
You look so nice,
Samantha. (CHUCKLING)

1331
01:01:50,107 --> 01:01:52,837
Thanks, Margaret.
So do you.

1332
01:01:52,843 --> 01:01:55,143
Okay, they're waiting for you
in the conference room.

1333
01:01:55,145 --> 01:01:57,145
I punched up the graphics
in the proposal.

1334
01:01:57,147 --> 01:01:59,047
Added some extras.

1335
01:02:00,316 --> 01:02:02,176
Wow.

1336
01:02:02,186 --> 01:02:03,716
Nice work, Margaret.

1337
01:02:03,721 --> 01:02:05,151
(CHUCKLING)

1338
01:02:06,289 --> 01:02:07,819
(INDISTINCT)

1339
01:02:09,892 --> 01:02:12,729
Well, she certainly
cleans up nicely.

1340
01:02:12,730 --> 01:02:14,230
You look...

1341
01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:15,761
Stunning.

1342
01:02:15,766 --> 01:02:18,296
I... I mean stun-ning.

1343
01:02:18,302 --> 01:02:20,942
(CHUCKLES) Uh, come over here
and sit next to Seymour.

1344
01:02:20,943 --> 01:02:23,968
I'm fine right over here.

1345
01:02:23,974 --> 01:02:28,244
Allow me to introduce
my joint venture partner,

1346
01:02:28,245 --> 01:02:30,175
Jean Georges Verham.

1347
01:02:30,180 --> 01:02:32,150
<i>Le Conte de Cassis.</i>

1348
01:02:33,316 --> 01:02:34,816
Exquisite.

1349
01:02:34,818 --> 01:02:36,418
It is truly my pleasure.

1350
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,220
Um, uh, thank you.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

1351
01:02:38,222 --> 01:02:41,922
Have you ever beheld
the Seine at night?

1352
01:02:41,925 --> 01:02:45,525
The bridges alight.
A place for lovers.

1353
01:02:45,529 --> 01:02:47,829
Well, you're in Manhattan now,
Jean Georges.

1354
01:02:47,831 --> 01:02:52,131
Yes, can we please begin
the presentation, please?

1355
01:02:52,136 --> 01:02:55,696
Perhaps we could meet
a bit later?

1356
01:02:55,706 --> 01:02:57,436
Oh, you know, um...

1357
01:02:57,441 --> 01:02:59,141
I'm... I'm very busy
right now.

1358
01:02:59,143 --> 01:03:01,483
My schedule is just
filling up very rapidly.

1359
01:03:01,484 --> 01:03:04,447
Hmm, <i>quel dommage, ma petite.</i>

1360
01:03:04,448 --> 01:03:05,708
(BOTH CHUCKLING)

1361
01:03:05,716 --> 01:03:07,846
LULU:
Samantha, as I recall,

1362
01:03:07,851 --> 01:03:11,220
you had some wonderful ideas
about our Internet campaign?

1363
01:03:11,221 --> 01:03:13,489
Oh, yes.

1364
01:03:13,490 --> 01:03:14,857
And before I begin,

1365
01:03:14,858 --> 01:03:16,758
I would like to just say
thank you

1366
01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:18,390
to Margaret
for all the wonderful work

1367
01:03:18,395 --> 01:03:20,255
that she did on these reports.

1368
01:03:22,365 --> 01:03:24,765
Now, as you can see
from this chart,

1369
01:03:24,768 --> 01:03:28,137
the models that we used on
this season's online campaign

1370
01:03:28,138 --> 01:03:33,068
scored highest between
the ages of 34 and 44.

1371
01:03:33,076 --> 01:03:34,906
And the numbers start
to lessen as we...

1372
01:03:34,912 --> 01:03:37,512
LULU: (SOFTLY)
Seymour, darling,

1373
01:03:37,514 --> 01:03:39,982
if you do not remove your nose

1374
01:03:39,983 --> 01:03:41,983
from Samantha's, admittedly,

1375
01:03:41,985 --> 01:03:44,745
attractive derriere
immediately...

1376
01:03:44,755 --> 01:03:46,785
(CLEARING THROAT)

1377
01:03:46,790 --> 01:03:50,860
I will not be tying you up
or spanking you tonight,

1378
01:03:50,861 --> 01:03:53,196
or any other night,

1379
01:03:53,197 --> 01:03:56,397
and you will lose my account.

1380
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,267
Are we perfectly clear?

1381
01:03:58,268 --> 01:03:59,368
Perfectly clear.

1382
01:03:59,369 --> 01:04:01,637
Oh, good.
Mwah.

1383
01:04:01,638 --> 01:04:03,919
SAM: certain things that
are gonna get men's attention.

1384
01:04:04,373 --> 01:04:05,441
Great.

1385
01:04:05,442 --> 01:04:07,510
Fabulous.

1386
01:04:07,511 --> 01:04:09,478
Gorgeous.
(CHUCKLES)

1387
01:04:09,479 --> 01:04:11,379
An excellent presentation, Sam.

1388
01:04:11,381 --> 01:04:12,911
May I call you Sam?

1389
01:04:12,916 --> 01:04:14,776
I prefer it, actually.

1390
01:04:14,785 --> 01:04:17,285
We will be in touch
about the details.

1391
01:04:17,287 --> 01:04:19,017
I look forward to it.

1392
01:04:19,022 --> 01:04:22,422
I think this calls
for a little promotion.

1393
01:04:22,426 --> 01:04:24,126
We'll go over the specifics
in my office.

1394
01:04:24,127 --> 01:04:26,557
Cocktails mandatory.

1395
01:04:26,563 --> 01:04:28,233
(CHUCKLES) How about
we skip the cocktails

1396
01:04:28,234 --> 01:04:30,800
and settle on 20% raise? Huh?

1397
01:04:30,801 --> 01:04:32,869
Well, then I would be
earning as much as Sam

1398
01:04:32,870 --> 01:04:34,940
for doing the exact same job.
Yeah, well, that's...

1399
01:04:34,941 --> 01:04:38,068
A raise, I think
that's a capital idea.

1400
01:04:38,075 --> 01:04:40,075
And a bonus, too.

1401
01:04:40,077 --> 01:04:42,877
I mean, after all,
she's earned it, hasn't she?

1402
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:45,510
I suppose we could do
a bonus, but...

1403
01:04:45,515 --> 01:04:47,315
Seymour...

1404
01:04:47,317 --> 01:04:50,047
Remember our little
understanding, don't you?

1405
01:04:50,053 --> 01:04:51,387
Oh, of course.

1406
01:04:51,388 --> 01:04:54,218
Everything's perfectly clear,
my little tigress.

1407
01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:56,592
Mmm...

1408
01:04:56,593 --> 01:04:58,027
Meow, baby.

1409
01:04:58,028 --> 01:04:59,388
(CHUCKLING)

1410
01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:08,143
I think a raise this big
deserves a hug.

1411
01:05:09,505 --> 01:05:12,905
Ah, you don't know
what you're missing.

1412
01:05:12,910 --> 01:05:15,080
Oh, I'm pretty sure I do.

1413
01:05:16,145 --> 01:05:18,275
And another thing.

1414
01:05:18,282 --> 01:05:21,250
That promotion,
it's going to Margaret.

1415
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:23,251
Huh? It is?

1416
01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:25,721
Yeah, she earned it.

1417
01:05:25,722 --> 01:05:27,392
Actually, she should've
gotten it three years ago,

1418
01:05:27,393 --> 01:05:28,891
but you and Sam were too busy

1419
01:05:28,892 --> 01:05:31,462
stealing all of her ideas
to give it to her.

1420
01:05:31,463 --> 01:05:34,130
I don't know about that.

1421
01:05:34,131 --> 01:05:35,531
I do.

1422
01:05:35,532 --> 01:05:37,432
And I'm sure Lulu
would love to hear

1423
01:05:37,434 --> 01:05:39,704
about Margaret's contributions
over the years.

1424
01:05:40,403 --> 01:05:41,943
You would do that?

1425
01:05:43,773 --> 01:05:46,273
Us girls have to stick together.

1426
01:05:48,577 --> 01:05:49,707
Uh...

1427
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:52,980
Samantha.

1428
01:05:52,983 --> 01:05:54,417
Hey, Margaret.

1429
01:05:54,418 --> 01:05:56,278
You know, you didn't need
to say that about me

1430
01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:58,386
in the meeting
and to Mr. Cavalo.

1431
01:05:59,956 --> 01:06:01,216
Actually, I did.

1432
01:06:01,224 --> 01:06:03,759
I don't know how to thank you.

1433
01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:08,297
Just keep doing
what you're doing.

1434
01:06:08,298 --> 01:06:10,698
Um, I have a favor.
Maybe I shouldn't ask.

1435
01:06:10,701 --> 01:06:12,501
No, of course,
of course, anything.

1436
01:06:12,502 --> 01:06:15,071
Um, if you speak
with your cousin,

1437
01:06:15,072 --> 01:06:16,572
would you tell him
something for me?

1438
01:06:17,306 --> 01:06:19,106
Of course.

1439
01:06:19,109 --> 01:06:20,909
Would you tell him
that, you know,

1440
01:06:20,911 --> 01:06:25,381
I think about him every day
and I really miss him.

1441
01:06:25,382 --> 01:06:26,816
You do?

1442
01:06:26,817 --> 01:06:29,117
Sure, he's a...
He's a really great guy.

1443
01:06:29,119 --> 01:06:32,689
(CHUCKLES)
He was? Is?

1444
01:06:33,322 --> 01:06:35,091
Yeah, uh...

1445
01:06:35,092 --> 01:06:38,062
Tell you the truth, I have
the worst crush on him.

1446
01:06:38,063 --> 01:06:42,461
And, um, why is that?

1447
01:06:42,466 --> 01:06:46,466
He played like he didn't care
about anyone special, but...

1448
01:06:46,470 --> 01:06:48,970
I knew it was just an act.

1449
01:06:48,972 --> 01:06:51,342
Deep down, he has a
really romantic heart.

1450
01:06:51,343 --> 01:06:53,741
A girl can just see
these things.

1451
01:06:53,744 --> 01:06:55,782
Oh, and please, don't tell him

1452
01:06:55,783 --> 01:06:58,079
I said that about
the romantic stuff.

1453
01:06:58,081 --> 01:07:00,621
And thanks again.

1454
01:07:01,150 --> 01:07:02,820
Of course.

1455
01:07:24,373 --> 01:07:26,013
(DOC MOANING)

1456
01:07:29,512 --> 01:07:31,112
Mmm-hmm.

1457
01:07:31,114 --> 01:07:33,454
That feels good, Sam.

1458
01:07:35,217 --> 01:07:36,947
Sam?
Mmm.

1459
01:07:42,324 --> 01:07:44,060
What is it, Soo-Soo?

1460
01:07:44,061 --> 01:07:47,096
You, you just called me Sam.

1461
01:07:47,097 --> 01:07:49,157
No, I didn't.

1462
01:07:49,166 --> 01:07:51,466
Yes, you most certainly did.

1463
01:07:51,468 --> 01:07:55,068
What the... What the hell
is going on right now?

1464
01:07:55,072 --> 01:07:57,640
What are you talking about?

1465
01:07:57,641 --> 01:07:59,410
(SCOFFS) Is it
that cousin of his?

1466
01:07:59,411 --> 01:08:01,779
That little tramp
that showed up here

1467
01:08:01,780 --> 01:08:04,348
faking her period?
She wasn't faking it.

1468
01:08:04,349 --> 01:08:06,077
(SCOFFS) Oh, so now
you're defending her?

1469
01:08:06,083 --> 01:08:07,450
No, what, I...

1470
01:08:07,451 --> 01:08:08,951
You're... That's not
what I said, I...

1471
01:08:09,418 --> 01:08:11,748
Oh, my God.

1472
01:08:11,755 --> 01:08:13,315
Oh, my God, you're gay!

1473
01:08:13,689 --> 01:08:14,789
(GASPING)

1474
01:08:15,758 --> 01:08:17,458
What?
That's it!

1475
01:08:17,461 --> 01:08:20,596
I've been a perfect fool.

1476
01:08:20,597 --> 01:08:24,197
You and Mr. Sleazebag have
been having a secret affair

1477
01:08:24,201 --> 01:08:25,901
behind my back,
and all this time

1478
01:08:25,902 --> 01:08:27,902
I thought you were straight!

1479
01:08:27,904 --> 01:08:29,371
Oh, my God!

1480
01:08:29,372 --> 01:08:31,006
Oh, my God!

1481
01:08:31,007 --> 01:08:32,137
(PANTING)

1482
01:08:32,142 --> 01:08:33,342
Oh, my God.

1483
01:08:33,343 --> 01:08:36,512
You, you might be
one really good actor,

1484
01:08:36,513 --> 01:08:40,116
but you are one lousy
human being.

1485
01:08:40,117 --> 01:08:42,417
I'm straight.

1486
01:08:42,419 --> 01:08:43,849
Can we just talk this over?

1487
01:08:43,854 --> 01:08:45,754
There's nothing to talk about.

1488
01:08:45,755 --> 01:08:47,155
Good-bye!

1489
01:08:48,457 --> 01:08:50,057
Don't be like this!

1490
01:08:50,060 --> 01:08:51,560
You're making things up.

1491
01:08:51,561 --> 01:08:53,596
Oh.
Can we just communicate?

1492
01:08:53,597 --> 01:08:55,257
What...
Sit down for a second.

1493
01:08:55,265 --> 01:08:57,195
We'll talk...
You make me sick!

1494
01:08:58,667 --> 01:09:00,667
Get over yourself, man.

1495
01:09:06,442 --> 01:09:07,812
Soo-Soo...
(RING CLATTERS TO FLOOR)

1496
01:09:07,813 --> 01:09:09,841
Boo-Boo is sorry.

1497
01:09:11,080 --> 01:09:12,710
(RING CLATTERS TO FLOOR)

1498
01:09:15,351 --> 01:09:16,521
(SIGHS)

1499
01:09:17,286 --> 01:09:18,686
Shit.

1500
01:09:26,629 --> 01:09:29,159
So how bad a fight was it?

1501
01:09:29,166 --> 01:09:31,666
I didn't say we had a fight.

1502
01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:33,268
You didn't have to.

1503
01:09:33,270 --> 01:09:36,100
You got that
post-fight look.

1504
01:09:36,106 --> 01:09:38,436
Droopy shoulders, a little
mopey around the edges.

1505
01:09:38,441 --> 01:09:41,441
Sam, I don't wanna
talk about it.

1506
01:09:41,444 --> 01:09:43,514
All right, fine, man,
suit yourself.

1507
01:09:45,581 --> 01:09:46,981
(EXHALES)

1508
01:09:46,983 --> 01:09:49,151
Hey, dude.

1509
01:09:49,152 --> 01:09:50,752
What about me?

1510
01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:52,354
What about you?

1511
01:09:52,355 --> 01:09:53,585
Well, I might be
a few pounds lighter,

1512
01:09:53,590 --> 01:09:54,890
but I can still
catch a football.

1513
01:09:54,891 --> 01:09:58,327
Sam, we don't play
tackle football with women.

1514
01:09:58,328 --> 01:09:59,588
End of discussion.

1515
01:09:59,596 --> 01:10:01,326
Dude, I still got
the chops, come...

1516
01:10:01,331 --> 01:10:02,861
Case closed.

1517
01:10:04,767 --> 01:10:05,827
Sexist pig.

1518
01:10:05,835 --> 01:10:07,865
I heard that.

1519
01:10:15,377 --> 01:10:16,837
Ready?
Yeah, I guess so.

1520
01:10:16,846 --> 01:10:20,376
All right, guys,
let's play some football!

1521
01:10:20,383 --> 01:10:21,552
Yeah, this chick...

1522
01:10:21,553 --> 01:10:22,621
Her name's Samantha.

1523
01:10:22,622 --> 01:10:24,549
She's Sam's cousin.

1524
01:10:24,554 --> 01:10:25,654
Yeah, Steve.

1525
01:10:25,655 --> 01:10:27,755
Sam's told me
all about you, dude.

1526
01:10:27,757 --> 01:10:29,787
Congratulations on the
wedding, by the way.

1527
01:10:29,793 --> 01:10:30,993
From what Sam tells me,

1528
01:10:30,994 --> 01:10:33,529
you're getting, uh,
quite a girl.

1529
01:10:33,530 --> 01:10:35,000
Okay.
(CLEARING THROAT)

1530
01:10:35,001 --> 01:10:36,498
SAM:
Quite a girl.

1531
01:10:36,499 --> 01:10:38,199
Are you kidding about playing?

1532
01:10:38,201 --> 01:10:41,001
Yeah, she's kidding.
No, no, she's not kidding.

1533
01:10:41,004 --> 01:10:43,104
We're all great football
players in my family.

1534
01:10:43,106 --> 01:10:45,636
And believe me, guys,
I know how to handle a ball.

1535
01:10:45,642 --> 01:10:46,842
(LAUGHTER)

1536
01:10:48,377 --> 01:10:49,607
JOEY:
I'm sure you do.

1537
01:10:49,613 --> 01:10:51,280
SAM: One play. No.

1538
01:10:51,281 --> 01:10:53,719
Just give me one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

1539
01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:55,817
Okay, let's let her play,
one play.

1540
01:10:55,819 --> 01:10:57,649
Come on, let's go.
You're overruled.

1541
01:10:57,654 --> 01:10:58,854
Come on, one play.

1542
01:10:58,855 --> 01:11:00,355
Let's do it.
JOEY: Come on, guys.

1543
01:11:00,357 --> 01:11:01,887
Red team, ball.

1544
01:11:02,591 --> 01:11:03,859
Whoo!

1545
01:11:03,860 --> 01:11:05,730
JOEY: I hope you're better than Sam!
Team!

1546
01:11:07,429 --> 01:11:09,459
Set, hike.

1547
01:11:09,466 --> 01:11:11,866
(GRUNTING)

1548
01:11:11,868 --> 01:11:14,798
Oh, got it!
Oh, shit!

1549
01:11:14,804 --> 01:11:17,172
(MEN LAUGHING)

1550
01:11:17,173 --> 01:11:20,309
You, fucking, Steve!
You get off of me!

1551
01:11:20,310 --> 01:11:22,310
Steve, stop grabbing my ass!

1552
01:11:22,312 --> 01:11:23,512
(MEN SCREAMING)

1553
01:11:23,513 --> 01:11:25,213
Fucker!
DOC: Wait, what?

1554
01:11:25,215 --> 01:11:27,145
Get off, Steve!

1555
01:11:27,150 --> 01:11:28,517
God!

1556
01:11:28,518 --> 01:11:30,448
Save it for Georgette! What?

1557
01:11:30,453 --> 01:11:31,821
MAN: You better
shut this girl up.

1558
01:11:31,822 --> 01:11:33,491
No, I know how much
you like the ass play.

1559
01:11:33,492 --> 01:11:35,257
DOC:
Relax. Come on.

1560
01:11:35,258 --> 01:11:36,788
No, you know what, I don't even
know why you're hanging out

1561
01:11:36,793 --> 01:11:38,562
with this bitch instead
of Cynthia anyway.

1562
01:11:38,563 --> 01:11:40,061
Don't call her a bitch, Stephen.

1563
01:11:40,063 --> 01:11:41,330
Oh, she's a bitch.

1564
01:11:41,331 --> 01:11:42,831
Okay, so now I'm a bitch.

1565
01:11:42,832 --> 01:11:44,532
Oh, you're a Grade A bitch.

1566
01:11:44,534 --> 01:11:46,504
DOC: I told you not
to call her a bitch.

1567
01:11:46,505 --> 01:11:48,470
Oh, sorry, little bitch.

1568
01:11:48,471 --> 01:11:50,411
Guys, guys...
DOC: Fucking asshole.

1569
01:11:50,412 --> 01:11:51,637
(MEN SHOUTING)

1570
01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:52,808
Fight!

1571
01:11:52,809 --> 01:11:54,739
Relax, come on, relax.

1572
01:11:54,744 --> 01:11:57,484
Listen, come on, we're all friends.
Shake hands, come on.

1573
01:11:58,747 --> 01:12:00,647
Uh-huh.

1574
01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:01,820
We're friends.

1575
01:12:06,055 --> 01:12:07,655
Doc.

1576
01:12:07,657 --> 01:12:09,487
Come on, man, it's okay.
Let it go.

1577
01:12:09,492 --> 01:12:10,792
No.

1578
01:12:10,794 --> 01:12:13,494
It's not okay, all right?

1579
01:12:13,496 --> 01:12:16,356
Nothing is okay.

1580
01:12:16,366 --> 01:12:17,496
SAM: Doc.

1581
01:12:17,500 --> 01:12:18,867
You were right.

1582
01:12:18,868 --> 01:12:20,736
She left me!

1583
01:12:20,737 --> 01:12:22,397
Are you happy now?

1584
01:12:24,406 --> 01:12:25,806
SAM: Come on, man,
can we just chat about it?

1585
01:12:25,809 --> 01:12:28,577
No, just go home.

1586
01:12:28,578 --> 01:12:30,078
All right, I'm sick of you.

1587
01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:32,680
Hey, what about the game?

1588
01:12:33,182 --> 01:12:34,682
Samantha?

1589
01:12:36,852 --> 01:12:39,022
I want her on my team next time.

1590
01:12:43,292 --> 01:12:44,532
Shit.

1591
01:12:51,433 --> 01:12:54,503
Ugh!
Bunch of assholes!

1592
01:12:54,504 --> 01:12:55,974
Freakin' Steve.

1593
01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:00,435
(EXHALES)

1594
01:13:04,646 --> 01:13:06,406
(SNIFFLING)

1595
01:13:18,460 --> 01:13:19,760
(EXHALES)

1596
01:13:25,734 --> 01:13:27,074
(SIGHING)

1597
01:13:43,185 --> 01:13:45,115
(SOBBING)

1598
01:13:50,492 --> 01:13:52,262
(SOBBING CONTINUES)

1599
01:14:06,175 --> 01:14:07,975
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1600
01:14:15,117 --> 01:14:16,177
(EXHALES)

1601
01:14:18,887 --> 01:14:20,657
Peace offering.

1602
01:14:32,568 --> 01:14:35,568
Listen, Doc, um...

1603
01:14:35,572 --> 01:14:39,107
I know that Cynthia
and I don't get along,

1604
01:14:39,108 --> 01:14:42,538
but if she's what
you want, then...

1605
01:14:42,545 --> 01:14:45,875
Lately, I don't know
what I want.

1606
01:14:45,882 --> 01:14:50,586
I do know I am sick of getting
my balls busted by her.

1607
01:14:50,587 --> 01:14:52,617
Well, at least you have balls.

1608
01:14:54,756 --> 01:14:57,016
Oh, God.

1609
01:14:58,160 --> 01:14:59,660
You're having a muscle spasm.

1610
01:14:59,662 --> 01:15:00,962
No, it's fine, it's fine.

1611
01:15:00,964 --> 01:15:02,034
I'll just take some aspirin.

1612
01:15:02,035 --> 01:15:04,631
Who's the doctor here?
Lay down.

1613
01:15:04,634 --> 01:15:06,204
Come on.

1614
01:15:08,504 --> 01:15:09,571
Turn over.

1615
01:15:09,572 --> 01:15:11,106
Okay.

1616
01:15:11,107 --> 01:15:12,437
Right there?

1617
01:15:12,442 --> 01:15:13,876
Oh, God, yeah.

1618
01:15:13,877 --> 01:15:15,607
How does that feel?

1619
01:15:15,612 --> 01:15:17,952
Oh, much better.

1620
01:15:19,748 --> 01:15:21,348
Mmm.

1621
01:15:23,285 --> 01:15:24,745
(CHUCKLING)

1622
01:15:26,121 --> 01:15:28,390
I, um...

1623
01:15:28,391 --> 01:15:30,191
I have to use the John.
(PATS ON BACK)

1624
01:15:30,193 --> 01:15:31,263
Oh...

1625
01:15:42,771 --> 01:15:44,741
Oh, my God.

1626
01:15:45,908 --> 01:15:47,608
She's alive.

1627
01:15:49,378 --> 01:15:50,608
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1628
01:16:00,789 --> 01:16:01,957
You?

1629
01:16:01,958 --> 01:16:04,588
Yes, me.

1630
01:16:04,594 --> 01:16:07,164
The doorman was kind enough
to let me up.

1631
01:16:07,165 --> 01:16:11,733
And, um, I think
it's time that, um,

1632
01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:13,734
you know, you and I
had a little talk.

1633
01:16:13,736 --> 01:16:17,536
SAM: Uh, what would you
like to talk about?

1634
01:16:17,540 --> 01:16:21,009
The fact that you stole my man,

1635
01:16:21,010 --> 01:16:23,540
and I'd like him back.

1636
01:16:23,546 --> 01:16:28,776
Decent men in this city
are few and far between.

1637
01:16:28,785 --> 01:16:33,745
Decent, straight, unmarried
ones are even rarer.

1638
01:16:33,756 --> 01:16:35,886
Oh, you forgot rich.

1639
01:16:36,992 --> 01:16:38,460
(EXHALES)

1640
01:16:38,461 --> 01:16:42,798
Women like me, okay,
successful career women.

1641
01:16:42,799 --> 01:16:45,767
Women who think about tomorrow.

1642
01:16:45,768 --> 01:16:47,968
Women who plan maybe five,

1643
01:16:47,971 --> 01:16:49,901
ten years ahead in their life,

1644
01:16:49,906 --> 01:16:54,636
we sometimes, we have to settle.

1645
01:16:54,644 --> 01:16:55,978
Settle?

1646
01:16:55,979 --> 01:16:58,679
Settle, or were you
born yesterday?

1647
01:16:58,681 --> 01:17:00,211
Actually, about a month ago.

1648
01:17:03,318 --> 01:17:06,588
Andrew is...
He's well-bred, okay?

1649
01:17:06,589 --> 01:17:08,019
He's handsome,

1650
01:17:08,024 --> 01:17:11,760
he's got all the right
credentials, and...

1651
01:17:11,761 --> 01:17:15,161
He's gonna make an excellent
father to our children.

1652
01:17:15,164 --> 01:17:17,604
Wow, you got it all planned
out, don't you, sister?

1653
01:17:17,605 --> 01:17:19,630
As a matter of fact, I do.

1654
01:17:19,636 --> 01:17:22,136
And he doesn't get
a say in any of this?

1655
01:17:22,138 --> 01:17:24,738
No, he doesn't.

1656
01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:27,776
But you do.

1657
01:17:27,777 --> 01:17:29,477
Which brings me

1658
01:17:29,479 --> 01:17:31,409
to the point of my visit.

1659
01:17:31,813 --> 01:17:32,881
Oh?

1660
01:17:32,882 --> 01:17:34,982
How much?

1661
01:17:34,984 --> 01:17:36,584
What?

1662
01:17:36,586 --> 01:17:37,986
(CHUCKLING)
You heard me.

1663
01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:40,347
How much do you want
to, uh, let him go?

1664
01:17:42,124 --> 01:17:49,097
I'm sorry, are you
trying to buy me off?

1665
01:17:49,098 --> 01:17:53,068
I mean, you're obviously
the type, you know?

1666
01:17:53,069 --> 01:17:56,138
I mean, if it walks
like a duck...

1667
01:17:56,139 --> 01:17:58,039
How would you like me
to belt you

1668
01:17:58,041 --> 01:18:00,211
in the mouth like a duck?
Okay...

1669
01:18:03,011 --> 01:18:04,951
Andrew.

1670
01:18:07,249 --> 01:18:11,149
I... I'm...
I'm so sorry.

1671
01:18:13,155 --> 01:18:16,215
Just please...
Please what?

1672
01:18:16,225 --> 01:18:18,125
Bark?

1673
01:18:18,127 --> 01:18:19,787
Roll over?

1674
01:18:19,796 --> 01:18:22,326
(SIGHING)
Play dead?

1675
01:18:22,331 --> 01:18:25,531
We are so...

1676
01:18:27,002 --> 01:18:28,172
done

1677
01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:34,407
(SIGHING)
Okay.

1678
01:18:34,410 --> 01:18:37,079
All right, well, when you change
your mind and you come begging,

1679
01:18:37,080 --> 01:18:38,380
don't bother calling, okay,

1680
01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:39,711
because I'm changing my number.

1681
01:18:39,716 --> 01:18:41,916
Change your hairstyle
while you're at it.

1682
01:18:42,417 --> 01:18:43,617
Ugh...

1683
01:18:43,619 --> 01:18:45,049
It's really not a good...
(DOOR CLOSES)

1684
01:18:45,054 --> 01:18:46,994
look on her, you know?

1685
01:18:49,224 --> 01:18:51,293
(SIGHING)

1686
01:18:51,294 --> 01:18:54,529
Look, Doc, I would say
that I'm sorry,

1687
01:18:54,530 --> 01:18:57,000
but, you know, I'm...
I'm just... I'm just not.

1688
01:19:00,202 --> 01:19:01,602
Please.

1689
01:19:03,839 --> 01:19:06,769
You just did me
the biggest favor of my life.

1690
01:19:06,776 --> 01:19:08,036
Yeah?

1691
01:19:11,847 --> 01:19:13,677
Were you really gonna belt her?

1692
01:19:14,382 --> 01:19:16,151
Hell, yeah.

1693
01:19:16,152 --> 01:19:18,022
Spunky little thing, aren't you?

1694
01:19:18,023 --> 01:19:19,888
(CORK POPS)

1695
01:19:19,889 --> 01:19:21,359
In a manner of speaking.

1696
01:19:26,762 --> 01:19:28,997
Damn.
What?

1697
01:19:28,998 --> 01:19:31,198
I just realized I don't have
a date to Steve's wedding.

1698
01:19:31,833 --> 01:19:32,933
(SNORTS)

1699
01:19:32,935 --> 01:19:34,365
You're still going
to that thing?

1700
01:19:34,370 --> 01:19:36,970
You saw, we shook.

1701
01:19:36,973 --> 01:19:39,173
Well, I would go
with you only...

1702
01:19:39,175 --> 01:19:40,835
You are going with me.

1703
01:19:40,843 --> 01:19:42,381
Yeah, man, I don't really think

1704
01:19:42,382 --> 01:19:43,838
that Steve would
be cool with that.

1705
01:19:43,846 --> 01:19:45,776
Tough.

1706
01:19:45,782 --> 01:19:48,650
We're a team, package deal.

1707
01:19:48,651 --> 01:19:51,851
Anybody who doesn't like it
can shove it.

1708
01:19:54,122 --> 01:19:55,857
All right, man, cool.

1709
01:19:55,858 --> 01:19:57,058
Package deal.

1710
01:20:07,235 --> 01:20:08,465
Oh...

1711
01:20:10,172 --> 01:20:11,642
SAM: I can't zip
this thing up.

1712
01:20:11,643 --> 01:20:13,441
ALEXANDER:
Suck it in, girl.

1713
01:20:13,442 --> 01:20:15,712
SAM: Come on, this dress
is not made for a human being.

1714
01:20:15,713 --> 01:20:17,911
It's made for a...
ALEXANDER: Anorexic mannequin?

1715
01:20:17,914 --> 01:20:19,384
(CHUCKLES) Welcome to the
world of high fashion.

1716
01:20:19,385 --> 01:20:21,422
Now get out there, killer.

1717
01:20:34,296 --> 01:20:36,196
Doc, what do you think?

1718
01:20:36,199 --> 01:20:39,269
Is this appropriate enough
for the wedding?

1719
01:20:40,035 --> 01:20:41,635
I... (GULPING)

1720
01:20:41,637 --> 01:20:42,697
Uh...

1721
01:20:42,705 --> 01:20:44,265
Oh, hashtag clue.

1722
01:20:44,273 --> 01:20:47,212
A dress like this has nothing
to do with appropriateness.

1723
01:20:47,213 --> 01:20:50,240
Its sole purpose is to engender
insane jealousy among women.

1724
01:20:50,246 --> 01:20:52,476
And hormonal overload
in the men.

1725
01:20:52,481 --> 01:20:54,981
Well, the straight ones,
at least.

1726
01:20:54,984 --> 01:20:57,919
All the gay ones' eyeballs will be
all over your boyfriend over here.

1727
01:20:57,920 --> 01:20:59,120
Oh, no, he's not my boyfriend.

1728
01:20:59,121 --> 01:21:00,221
I'm not her boyfriend.

1729
01:21:00,223 --> 01:21:02,057
They say rather loudly.

1730
01:21:02,058 --> 01:21:03,458
(CHUCKLES)

1731
01:21:03,459 --> 01:21:08,059
So, Doc, what do you think?
Is this the one? (CHUCKLES)

1732
01:21:08,064 --> 01:21:10,004
Yeah, it's good.
(CLEARING THROAT)

1733
01:21:10,005 --> 01:21:12,167
It's fine.
Write it up, Marie.

1734
01:21:12,168 --> 01:21:14,098
Excellent choice.

1735
01:21:16,438 --> 01:21:18,406
What?

1736
01:21:18,407 --> 01:21:20,367
Oh, nothing,
I was just thinking of

1737
01:21:20,376 --> 01:21:23,606
the looks on the guys' faces if
I play my game at the wedding.

1738
01:21:24,412 --> 01:21:25,947
Your what?

1739
01:21:25,948 --> 01:21:30,118
The tricks that chicks use
to get guys' attention?

1740
01:21:30,119 --> 01:21:32,589
Okay. For example...

1741
01:21:33,288 --> 01:21:35,088
The hair toss.

1742
01:21:40,462 --> 01:21:42,232
The lipstick check.

1743
01:21:43,231 --> 01:21:45,267
ALEXANDER:
Work it, work it.

1744
01:21:45,268 --> 01:21:47,736
If you got it, flaunt it.

1745
01:21:47,737 --> 01:21:49,837
(SOFTLY) I love that movie.

1746
01:21:49,839 --> 01:21:52,009
SAM: And last,
but certainly not least,

1747
01:21:52,974 --> 01:21:54,784
the stocking check.

1748
01:21:56,912 --> 01:21:59,182
Oh, my goodness.

1749
01:22:00,415 --> 01:22:04,345
Is that a run?
How perfectly awful.

1750
01:22:04,353 --> 01:22:06,221
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

1751
01:22:06,222 --> 01:22:09,190
Works like a charm every time.

1752
01:22:09,191 --> 01:22:11,431
But you gotta have
the gams to back it up.

1753
01:22:12,961 --> 01:22:14,529
(CHUCKLES)

1754
01:22:14,530 --> 01:22:16,460
ALEXANDER: All right,
let's get this baby in a box

1755
01:22:16,465 --> 01:22:18,665
and get you back in
your street <i>schmates.</i>

1756
01:22:25,507 --> 01:22:26,567
Hmm.

1757
01:22:30,245 --> 01:22:31,975
Oh, my God.

1758
01:22:49,230 --> 01:22:50,660
(MOANING)

1759
01:22:56,037 --> 01:22:57,437
(CONTINUES MOANING)

1760
01:23:02,210 --> 01:23:03,310
(SIGHS)

1761
01:23:06,247 --> 01:23:07,877
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1762
01:23:16,358 --> 01:23:18,188
Sam, what's going on?

1763
01:23:20,028 --> 01:23:22,358
What, are...
Is everything all right?

1764
01:23:23,465 --> 01:23:25,195
You're downstairs?
Um...

1765
01:23:25,201 --> 01:23:28,401
Yeah, uh, yeah, just come on up.

1766
01:23:28,404 --> 01:23:30,674
All right, bye.

1767
01:23:40,582 --> 01:23:42,752
What am I doing? (SCOFFS)

1768
01:23:43,184 --> 01:23:44,853
He's...

1769
01:23:44,854 --> 01:23:47,724
She is sloppier than I am.

1770
01:23:48,990 --> 01:23:50,490
(SIGHS DEEPLY)

1771
01:23:52,127 --> 01:23:53,627
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

1772
01:23:53,629 --> 01:23:55,729
Come on in.
(CLEARING THROAT)

1773
01:23:55,731 --> 01:23:57,131
(DOOR OPENS)

1774
01:24:00,301 --> 01:24:02,037
How's it going?

1775
01:24:02,038 --> 01:24:06,968
Um, yeah, good, good, yeah,
I think, um, probably.

1776
01:24:07,976 --> 01:24:10,076
Probably?
What's wrong?

1777
01:24:10,079 --> 01:24:13,479
You know what?
I'm sorry, I, um...

1778
01:24:13,482 --> 01:24:14,982
I'm gonna go. This can... Oh!

1779
01:24:14,984 --> 01:24:17,084
This isn't... This can wait.
Oh, hey.

1780
01:24:17,086 --> 01:24:18,746
Hold on, what's wrong?

1781
01:24:18,754 --> 01:24:21,324
I'm sensing a disturbance
in the Force.

1782
01:24:22,557 --> 01:24:24,457
What's going on?

1783
01:24:24,460 --> 01:24:29,200
Well, it's, um,
it's about the issue.

1784
01:24:30,565 --> 01:24:33,295
The issue?
Yeah.

1785
01:24:33,302 --> 01:24:35,372
Ah, the issue, oh.
Yeah. (CHUCKLING)

1786
01:24:35,373 --> 01:24:37,441
The issue, the...
(CLEARING THROAT)

1787
01:24:37,442 --> 01:24:40,040
You're still having problems
with the arousal thing?

1788
01:24:40,042 --> 01:24:44,212
Oh, God, no, no, actually,
um, it's been fine.

1789
01:24:44,213 --> 01:24:48,450
Uh, how fine, like,
um, you know, once a day?

1790
01:24:48,451 --> 01:24:49,781
More.

1791
01:24:51,286 --> 01:24:53,116
Two, three times a day?

1792
01:24:54,489 --> 01:24:57,089
More than three times?
Yeah.

1793
01:24:57,093 --> 01:24:59,060
Per day?
Yeah.

1794
01:24:59,061 --> 01:25:00,591
How much more?
Six.

1795
01:25:03,031 --> 01:25:04,131
Today?

1796
01:25:04,133 --> 01:25:05,700
Tonight.

1797
01:25:05,701 --> 01:25:07,901
You know what, Doc?
I'm so sorry.

1798
01:25:07,903 --> 01:25:10,071
I'm really embarrassed.
I think...

1799
01:25:10,072 --> 01:25:11,272
Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go.

1800
01:25:11,273 --> 01:25:13,313
Whoa, whoa!
Come on, it's fine.

1801
01:25:13,314 --> 01:25:15,777
What's going on?

1802
01:25:15,778 --> 01:25:18,648
I don't know, it's just that,
you know, she's, um...

1803
01:25:21,182 --> 01:25:23,351
She's being
really specific about...

1804
01:25:23,352 --> 01:25:25,820
About, um, who she wants.

1805
01:25:25,821 --> 01:25:27,751
Like, if I, um, if I think of,

1806
01:25:27,756 --> 01:25:30,656
um, this one person,

1807
01:25:30,659 --> 01:25:33,728
she gets, like,
really, really happy.

1808
01:25:33,729 --> 01:25:35,529
And then if I think
about anyone else,

1809
01:25:35,531 --> 01:25:38,299
she gets, like, really cranky.

1810
01:25:38,300 --> 01:25:41,770
So, uh... (LIPS SMACKING)
Who's the lucky, uh...

1811
01:25:47,308 --> 01:25:50,308
No, no!
Fuck, oh, fuck, no!

1812
01:25:50,312 --> 01:25:51,780
Yeah, Doc, you know, oh, my God...
No...

1813
01:25:51,781 --> 01:25:53,410
It... Ah! It's so stupid.
I'm so sorry.

1814
01:25:53,415 --> 01:25:54,615
You know what, just forget
that I said anything.

1815
01:25:54,617 --> 01:25:56,077
Oh, no, no.

1816
01:25:56,085 --> 01:25:57,445
Well, you know what,
just wait, hold on.

1817
01:25:57,453 --> 01:26:00,353
Uh, um...

1818
01:26:00,356 --> 01:26:02,856
Listen, I'm the one who
should be apologizing here

1819
01:26:02,858 --> 01:26:06,528
because you come in and then
you are honest with me,

1820
01:26:06,529 --> 01:26:09,159
and what I do is I play
20 questions with you.

1821
01:26:09,165 --> 01:26:11,165
Um, that's not fair 'cause...

1822
01:26:11,167 --> 01:26:13,727
What you're dealing with is...

1823
01:26:13,736 --> 01:26:15,596
You're trying to compact, like,

1824
01:26:15,604 --> 01:26:18,142
30 years of female
psychological development

1825
01:26:18,143 --> 01:26:20,140
into a few really
short months and...

1826
01:26:20,142 --> 01:26:22,842
And, um... I think that
what you're gonna find

1827
01:26:22,845 --> 01:26:26,175
is that, uh, in time
the sexual focus,

1828
01:26:26,182 --> 01:26:29,250
uh, shifts and it expands.

1829
01:26:29,251 --> 01:26:33,621
And that, uh, there are
techniques you can use,

1830
01:26:33,622 --> 01:26:36,422
um, to, uh... (STAMMERING)

1831
01:26:38,359 --> 01:26:39,559
I'm babbling.

1832
01:26:39,562 --> 01:26:41,232
Yeah.

1833
01:26:43,198 --> 01:26:45,728
'Cause I'm completely
full of shit.

1834
01:26:47,635 --> 01:26:48,935
Yep.

1835
01:26:49,571 --> 01:26:50,971
Sam!

1836
01:26:53,441 --> 01:26:55,109
Buddy.
(LAUGHING)

1837
01:26:55,110 --> 01:26:58,210
We... We used to
chase babes together.

1838
01:26:58,214 --> 01:26:59,384
You know, we would...
(CLEARING THROAT)

1839
01:26:59,385 --> 01:27:00,850
We'd get hammered together.

1840
01:27:00,851 --> 01:27:02,879
I can't help it!
She won't listen to me.

1841
01:27:02,885 --> 01:27:04,045
(GRUNTS)

1842
01:27:05,320 --> 01:27:06,590
Time out.

1843
01:27:06,988 --> 01:27:08,256
Okay.

1844
01:27:08,257 --> 01:27:10,257
Time out.
Let's, um...

1845
01:27:10,259 --> 01:27:11,789
Let's breathe.

1846
01:27:11,794 --> 01:27:14,394
(BOTH CHUCKLING ANXIOUSLY)

1847
01:27:14,396 --> 01:27:16,456
Oh, that's good.
Right like that.

1848
01:27:16,465 --> 01:27:18,265
We're gonna breathe.

1849
01:27:18,267 --> 01:27:21,897
We had a moment and,
uh, the moment passed.

1850
01:27:22,604 --> 01:27:24,004
And we're fine.

1851
01:27:24,006 --> 01:27:26,636
You're fine!
I'm in heat!

1852
01:27:26,642 --> 01:27:28,610
Sam... Oh, sit, just...

1853
01:27:28,611 --> 01:27:30,281
Why don't you sit?
Why don't, um...

1854
01:27:30,845 --> 01:27:32,075
(SIGHS)

1855
01:27:32,780 --> 01:27:34,949
Eat some chips.

1856
01:27:34,950 --> 01:27:37,680
And I'm gonna get,
uh, you a beer.

1857
01:27:37,686 --> 01:27:38,916
We're gonna get a beer,

1858
01:27:38,921 --> 01:27:40,621
and we're gonna talk this out.

1859
01:27:40,623 --> 01:27:42,393
Mmm.
(CRUNCHING)

1860
01:27:44,292 --> 01:27:45,762
(SNIFFING)

1861
01:27:46,661 --> 01:27:48,461
Oh...

1862
01:27:51,266 --> 01:27:54,966
Oh.
That's nice.

1863
01:27:54,970 --> 01:27:57,770
DOC: (LAUGHING)
You, you know...

1864
01:27:57,773 --> 01:27:59,843
We are gonna look back at this,

1865
01:27:59,844 --> 01:28:01,012
and we're gonna...

1866
01:28:02,710 --> 01:28:04,210
(SNIFFING)

1867
01:28:04,213 --> 01:28:09,623
Oh, God, you smell so...

1868
01:28:11,219 --> 01:28:12,789
good.

1869
01:28:15,523 --> 01:28:17,458
Um...

1870
01:28:17,459 --> 01:28:20,928
(CHUCKLES) That's... Those
are, uh, it's just androgens.

1871
01:28:20,929 --> 01:28:24,359
Those are pheromones and
it's a chemical... (MOANING)

1872
01:28:29,637 --> 01:28:30,997
What?

1873
01:28:32,206 --> 01:28:35,236
I'm getting the
uncontrollable urge to...

1874
01:28:36,010 --> 01:28:37,310
(GULPS) Cuddle.

1875
01:28:38,713 --> 01:28:40,513
Oh.

1876
01:28:42,317 --> 01:28:44,017
Wow.

1877
01:28:46,988 --> 01:28:48,418
Mmm.

1878
01:29:07,575 --> 01:29:10,705
Good day, Miss Wellman.

1879
01:29:10,713 --> 01:29:12,651
Well, you know
what they say, Lou.

1880
01:29:12,652 --> 01:29:14,348
Every day above ground's
a good one.

1881
01:29:14,350 --> 01:29:15,850
(CHUCKLING)
Ain't that the truth.

1882
01:29:15,851 --> 01:29:17,021
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

1883
01:29:17,952 --> 01:29:20,652
(CLICKS TONGUE, CHUCKLES)

1884
01:29:23,691 --> 01:29:24,931
Wow.

1885
01:29:42,944 --> 01:29:45,814
"Ye Old Curiosity Shoppe.

1886
01:29:50,051 --> 01:29:54,691
"Tonight at midnight,
to make the choice."

1887
01:30:02,797 --> 01:30:06,097
♪

1888
01:30:06,801 --> 01:30:08,701
(INAUDIBLE)

1889
01:30:47,408 --> 01:30:48,576
Congratulations.

1890
01:30:48,577 --> 01:30:50,877
Oh, thanks, Doc.
Thanks for coming.

1891
01:30:50,879 --> 01:30:53,579
(INHALES SHARPLY)
And, uh, you're here.

1892
01:30:53,582 --> 01:30:55,252
It was a beautiful ceremony.

1893
01:30:55,253 --> 01:30:56,750
Thank you.

1894
01:30:56,752 --> 01:30:59,587
So, you're Sam's cousin.

1895
01:30:59,588 --> 01:31:02,488
Same blood runs
through our veins.

1896
01:31:02,491 --> 01:31:03,721
I've heard a lot about you.

1897
01:31:03,725 --> 01:31:05,325
Only good things, right?

1898
01:31:05,327 --> 01:31:07,857
(CHUCKLES) So, uh, how
is Sam doing anyway?

1899
01:31:08,996 --> 01:31:12,926
Oh, uh, he's like a new person.

1900
01:31:12,935 --> 01:31:15,095
Sort of feels like
he's with us here in spirit.

1901
01:31:15,103 --> 01:31:16,637
(CHUCKLES)

1902
01:31:16,638 --> 01:31:19,538
Well, uh, we don't want
to hoard all of your time.

1903
01:31:19,541 --> 01:31:21,509
Come on, Sam... Mantha.

1904
01:31:21,510 --> 01:31:22,580
Let's go get a cocktail.

1905
01:31:22,581 --> 01:31:24,008
Enjoy.

1906
01:31:25,246 --> 01:31:26,676
Weird.

1907
01:31:26,682 --> 01:31:28,782
Feeling a little bit cocky, eh?

1908
01:31:28,784 --> 01:31:30,952
Sorry, couldn't resist.

1909
01:31:30,953 --> 01:31:32,223
(CHUCKLES)

1910
01:31:37,058 --> 01:31:39,288
Oh. (CHUCKLES) Hi.

1911
01:31:39,294 --> 01:31:41,164
Hi.
(SIGHS)

1912
01:31:42,430 --> 01:31:45,030
Having fun?
Yeah.

1913
01:31:45,033 --> 01:31:47,668
Uh, you know, you're supposed to

1914
01:31:47,669 --> 01:31:49,969
only get married once.

1915
01:31:49,972 --> 01:31:52,507
In theory, anyway.

1916
01:31:52,508 --> 01:31:55,438
Listen, Georgette, I, um...

1917
01:31:55,444 --> 01:31:57,244
I know that you don't like me.

1918
01:31:57,246 --> 01:31:59,346
I don't really know you.

1919
01:31:59,348 --> 01:32:01,778
Um, I...
(CHUCKLES)

1920
01:32:01,783 --> 01:32:03,653
You know me better
than you think.

1921
01:32:03,654 --> 01:32:04,919
I do?

1922
01:32:04,920 --> 01:32:06,650
Oh, yeah, you know,
that whole...

1923
01:32:06,655 --> 01:32:07,885
(CHUCKLES)

1924
01:32:07,890 --> 01:32:09,960
female intuition thing, right?

1925
01:32:09,961 --> 01:32:11,558
Right. Uh...

1926
01:32:11,560 --> 01:32:14,060
Anyway, um...

1927
01:32:14,062 --> 01:32:15,562
I hope I'm not out of line.

1928
01:32:15,564 --> 01:32:17,204
Um, just a thought.

1929
01:32:18,733 --> 01:32:20,573
If you want it
to work out with Stephen,

1930
01:32:20,574 --> 01:32:23,839
I mean, really work out
for the long haul,

1931
01:32:24,939 --> 01:32:26,769
just be his friend,

1932
01:32:26,775 --> 01:32:31,205
and everything will fall
into place from there.

1933
01:32:31,846 --> 01:32:33,076
Wow, uh...

1934
01:32:34,549 --> 01:32:36,779
I really didn't
expect that from you.

1935
01:32:36,785 --> 01:32:38,045
Yeah, neither did I.

1936
01:32:38,053 --> 01:32:40,593
(CHUCKLING)

1937
01:32:41,856 --> 01:32:43,916
Thank you, Samantha.

1938
01:32:54,702 --> 01:32:56,572
(SIGHS)

1939
01:33:01,609 --> 01:33:02,679
(CHUCKLES)

1940
01:33:04,979 --> 01:33:08,649
You know, when I was a guy,
I used to do this for girls.

1941
01:33:10,484 --> 01:33:12,153
Oh, who am I kidding?

1942
01:33:12,154 --> 01:33:13,954
I don't think I've ever done
this for a woman. (CHUCKLES)

1943
01:33:13,956 --> 01:33:15,716
You know...

1944
01:33:15,724 --> 01:33:18,734
I think you've grown
your own brand of chivalry.

1945
01:33:20,194 --> 01:33:22,029
Thanks, Doc.

1946
01:33:22,030 --> 01:33:23,700
What's wrong, Sam?

1947
01:33:24,699 --> 01:33:26,029
You seem sad.

1948
01:33:26,034 --> 01:33:28,544
I noticed in the car
on the way over.

1949
01:33:30,371 --> 01:33:32,541
Let's just talk
about it later, okay?

1950
01:33:33,874 --> 01:33:36,043
You know what?
I think...

1951
01:33:36,044 --> 01:33:38,813
I think they might be
playing our song.

1952
01:33:38,814 --> 01:33:40,781
We have a song?

1953
01:33:40,782 --> 01:33:42,422
We do now.

1954
01:33:42,950 --> 01:33:44,120
Come on.

1955
01:33:45,953 --> 01:33:48,023
♪

1956
01:33:48,789 --> 01:33:50,919
May I have this dance?

1957
01:33:50,926 --> 01:33:53,756
Eh, does a bear shit...

1958
01:33:53,762 --> 01:33:54,962
Of course you may.

1959
01:33:54,963 --> 01:33:56,233
(CHUCKLING)

1960
01:34:08,643 --> 01:34:10,343
So, what's it like?

1961
01:34:12,580 --> 01:34:14,680
What's what like?

1962
01:34:14,683 --> 01:34:16,383
Being a woman.

1963
01:34:18,519 --> 01:34:21,188
It's, um...

1964
01:34:21,189 --> 01:34:23,189
Tsk. It's, like, uh,

1965
01:34:23,191 --> 01:34:26,861
someone added 27 frequencies
to my radio dial.

1966
01:34:27,628 --> 01:34:29,598
Which means...

1967
01:34:30,231 --> 01:34:32,099
Um...

1968
01:34:32,100 --> 01:34:34,368
Which means...

1969
01:34:34,369 --> 01:34:35,939
When I walk into a room,

1970
01:34:35,940 --> 01:34:37,797
I pretty much know

1971
01:34:37,806 --> 01:34:39,606
what's going on with everybody,

1972
01:34:39,608 --> 01:34:42,108
whether they're happy or horny

1973
01:34:42,110 --> 01:34:44,910
or sad or...

1974
01:34:46,714 --> 01:34:48,152
If they have a chance in hell

1975
01:34:48,153 --> 01:34:49,950
of stealing you away from me.

1976
01:34:50,951 --> 01:34:53,151
Anybody in here, uh...

1977
01:34:53,155 --> 01:34:55,355
Giving you any competition?

1978
01:34:57,858 --> 01:34:59,958
See that blonde over there
by the punch bowl?

1979
01:34:59,961 --> 01:35:01,661
Yeah.

1980
01:35:01,663 --> 01:35:03,733
Well, she'd have a shot at you.

1981
01:35:03,734 --> 01:35:06,402
If she wasn't so busy
checking out that guy's Rolex

1982
01:35:06,403 --> 01:35:09,671
and if...

1983
01:35:10,337 --> 01:35:12,067
Yeah?

1984
01:35:14,275 --> 01:35:16,205
If you weren't totally
smitten with me.

1985
01:35:16,211 --> 01:35:17,641
Oh.

1986
01:35:17,646 --> 01:35:19,776
I'm smitten, huh?

1987
01:35:20,581 --> 01:35:22,451
Crazy in love.

1988
01:35:24,819 --> 01:35:27,249
Wow, you're good.

1989
01:35:34,161 --> 01:35:36,361
Feeling's mutual, by the way.

1990
01:35:44,972 --> 01:35:47,141
I know it's you...

1991
01:35:47,142 --> 01:35:48,942
Sam.

1992
01:35:51,612 --> 01:35:53,082
But you're different.

1993
01:35:55,616 --> 01:35:56,776
Good different?

1994
01:35:56,785 --> 01:35:58,115
No.

1995
01:35:59,420 --> 01:36:01,190
Not good.

1996
01:36:04,992 --> 01:36:06,232
Amazing.

1997
01:36:15,069 --> 01:36:17,339
GEORGETTE: When's the last
time you kissed me like that?

1998
01:36:18,939 --> 01:36:20,839
Tonight.
(CHUCKLES)

1999
01:36:20,842 --> 01:36:22,042
Mmm-hmm.

2000
01:36:22,043 --> 01:36:24,083
(BOTH LAUGHING)

2001
01:36:30,184 --> 01:36:31,424
Wow.

2002
01:36:40,995 --> 01:36:42,425
What?

2003
01:36:42,430 --> 01:36:43,900
What, do you have
a hot date or something?

2004
01:36:43,901 --> 01:36:45,969
Come on, you're spoiling
my afterglow.

2005
01:36:47,568 --> 01:36:49,198
I have to talk to you outside.

2006
01:36:49,937 --> 01:36:51,437
Right now.

2007
01:36:58,612 --> 01:37:00,447
I need a favor.

2008
01:37:00,448 --> 01:37:02,716
Anything.

2009
01:37:02,717 --> 01:37:04,147
Can you drive me
down to the Village?

2010
01:37:04,152 --> 01:37:05,786
Now?

2011
01:37:05,787 --> 01:37:07,217
What for?

2012
01:37:07,222 --> 01:37:08,822
Do you trust me?

2013
01:37:08,824 --> 01:37:10,691
Of course, I trust you.

2014
01:37:10,692 --> 01:37:13,162
Well, then, just please
don't ask any questions.

2015
01:37:13,163 --> 01:37:14,829
Okay.

2016
01:37:14,830 --> 01:37:17,230
If that's the way you want it.

2017
01:37:17,232 --> 01:37:19,967
Okay, but we have to
leave right now.

2018
01:37:19,968 --> 01:37:21,398
I need to be there by midnight.

2019
01:37:53,200 --> 01:37:54,800
Doc...

2020
01:37:54,803 --> 01:37:56,270
No.
Sam...

2021
01:37:56,271 --> 01:37:57,541
No.

2022
01:38:14,154 --> 01:38:15,424
(INHALES DEEPLY)

2023
01:38:18,158 --> 01:38:19,588
(DOOR CREAKING)

2024
01:39:24,425 --> 01:39:26,485
♪

2025
01:39:32,566 --> 01:39:36,866
MAN: <i>♪ The mademoiselle
says, "Qui?"</i>

2026
01:39:36,871 --> 01:39:40,307
<i>♪ I turn my head, it's me</i>

2027
01:39:40,308 --> 01:39:43,408
<i>♪ Could it be true
or a turn of the screw</i>

2028
01:39:43,411 --> 01:39:48,481
<i>♪ Or just
those birds and bees?</i>

2029
01:39:48,483 --> 01:39:50,250
(HUMMING)

2030
01:39:50,251 --> 01:39:54,451
<i>♪ The mademoiselle
says, "Qui?"</i>

2031
01:39:58,125 --> 01:39:59,685
<i>♪ Mmm</i>

2032
01:39:59,694 --> 01:40:03,430
<i>♪ The mademoiselle
says, "Qui?"</i>

2033
01:40:03,431 --> 01:40:06,166
<i>♪ Ain't no room for three</i>

2034
01:40:06,167 --> 01:40:10,497
<i>♪ From my ringside seat
Need to beat a retreat</i>

2035
01:40:10,505 --> 01:40:13,965
<i>♪ She has me down to a T</i>

2036
01:40:13,975 --> 01:40:15,305
<i>♪ Ah</i>

2037
01:40:15,310 --> 01:40:16,877
<i>♪ Hm...</i>

2038
01:40:16,878 --> 01:40:21,078
<i>♪ The mademoiselle
says, "Qui?"</i>

2039
01:40:21,082 --> 01:40:24,118
<i>♪ And my heart</i>

2040
01:40:24,119 --> 01:40:27,819
<i>♪ Started to pound</i>

2041
01:40:29,089 --> 01:40:35,729
<i>♪ Oh, my toes
all gone to ground</i>

2042
01:40:35,730 --> 01:40:39,500
<i>♪ All my feelings for you</i>

2043
01:40:39,501 --> 01:40:45,071
<i>♪ So long overdue</i>

2044
01:40:45,073 --> 01:40:49,076
<i>♪ The mademoiselle
says, "Qui?"</i>

2045
01:40:49,077 --> 01:40:52,546
<i>♪ I close my eyes, it's e</i>

2046
01:40:52,547 --> 01:40:53,947
<i>♪ Could it be real?</i>

2047
01:40:53,948 --> 01:40:56,417
<i>♪ All those bells
start to peal</i>

2048
01:40:56,418 --> 01:40:59,148
<i>♪ I hope that she'll agree</i>

2049
01:40:59,154 --> 01:41:02,589
<i>♪ As those bells start to peal</i>

2050
01:41:02,590 --> 01:41:07,260
<i>♪ I just can't conceal</i>

2051
01:41:07,262 --> 01:41:09,696
<i>♪ The love I decree</i>

2052
01:41:09,697 --> 01:41:14,327
<i>♪ Mademoiselle says, "Oui"</i>

2053
01:41:14,335 --> 01:41:16,395
<i>♪</i>

2054
01:41:37,791 --> 01:41:38,926
<i>♪ Ooh</i>

2055
01:41:38,927 --> 01:41:40,627
(HUMMING)

2056
01:41:42,029 --> 01:41:45,566
<i>♪ The mademoiselle
says, "Qui?"</i>

2057
01:41:45,567 --> 01:41:49,167
<i>♪ I close my eyes, it's e</i>

2058
01:41:49,170 --> 01:41:50,670
<i>♪ Could it be real?</i>

2059
01:41:50,672 --> 01:41:53,207
<i>♪ As those bells start to peal</i>

2060
01:41:53,208 --> 01:41:55,908
<i>♪ I hope that she'll agree</i>

2061
01:41:55,910 --> 01:41:59,480
<i>♪ As those bells start to peal</i>

2062
01:41:59,481 --> 01:42:03,851
<i>♪ I just can't conceal</i>

2063
01:42:03,852 --> 01:42:06,752
<i>♪ All the love I decree</i>

2064
01:42:06,754 --> 01:42:09,623
<i>♪ The mademoiselle says</i>

2065
01:42:09,624 --> 01:42:14,264
<i>♪ Oui</i>

2066
01:42:16,563 --> 01:42:19,573
<i>♪</i>

2066
01:42:20,305 --> 01:42:26,547
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