1
00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:15,125
It's a good start
but we can do better than that.

2
00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:18,009
Needs a little more impact.
Go back to the outline we had.

3
00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:19,205
Yes, Mr. Edwards.

4
00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:21,759
This gatefold is for the large-circulation
magazines.

5
00:02:21,930 --> 00:02:24,922
- We made the changes you suggested.
- Good. Very good.

6
00:02:25,090 --> 00:02:26,967
- Thank you, sir.
- What's next?

7
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,724
We'd like your thoughts
on the placement of the models.

8
00:02:29,890 --> 00:02:32,085
- Who's the sketch artist?
- Excuse me.

9
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,202
Telephone for you, Mr. Brewer.

10
00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:37,840
Lola, I'm in conference.
I asked you to hold all calls.

11
00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:40,205
I did the sketch, sir.

12
00:02:40,370 --> 00:02:42,247
Where do you propose
we place the model?

13
00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:46,005
Well, if we'd put one here
and another one over here...

14
00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:48,642
...it will balance the composition.

15
00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:50,641
Very good. Go right ahead with it.

16
00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:52,846
This is the storyboard
for the TV layout.

17
00:02:53,450 --> 00:02:56,999
- This the first commercial?
- Yes, with the dialogue under each cut.

18
00:02:57,570 --> 00:03:00,607
Well, baby, if I didn't have to
take care of my dear old mother...

19
00:03:00,770 --> 00:03:02,681
...I'd marry you. Why, certainly.

20
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:06,240
Look, why can't we discuss this
at my place tonight, huh?

21
00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:07,525
Why, sure.

22
00:03:07,690 --> 00:03:10,363
- All right, I'll see you there at midnight?
<i>- Fine, bye.</i>

23
00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:11,565
Yeah. Bye.

24
00:03:11,730 --> 00:03:13,880
When you make the changes
in the TV campaign...

25
00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:16,405
...be sure you stress
the sponsor identification.

26
00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:19,482
- Yes, sir.
- Ernie, you follow up, will you?

27
00:03:19,650 --> 00:03:22,528
Magazine ads, check.
Newspaper ads...

28
00:03:22,690 --> 00:03:24,203
These...

29
00:03:24,530 --> 00:03:26,521
- What is this?
- For Mrs. Edwards.

30
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:28,442
Oh, not now, Mr. Bruno.
I'm very busy.

31
00:03:28,610 --> 00:03:31,647
- But If you want me to deliver to Mrs...
- All right, Mr. Bruno.

32
00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:34,688
- Ernie. Take a look at these, will you?
- Here.

33
00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:36,841
- It's your wife.
- But she likes your taste.

34
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:40,400
That pin you picked out our last
anniversary, she was crazy about.

35
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:43,846
Well, in that case, how about this?

36
00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:45,968
Just fine. Fine. Thank you.

37
00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:48,405
- Now who's handling the radio spots?
- I am, sir.

38
00:03:48,570 --> 00:03:51,607
Mr. Edwards, what do you want
me to say on the card?

39
00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:54,887
Say, "Happy..." "Happy..."
How many years has it's been?

40
00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:56,039
Nineteen.

41
00:03:56,210 --> 00:03:57,848
"Happy 19th wedding anniversary.

42
00:03:58,010 --> 00:03:59,762
From someone
who will love you always."

43
00:03:59,930 --> 00:04:01,409
Signed, "Guess who."

44
00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:03,640
- Yes, sir. Thank you.
- Thank you. Radio spots.

45
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:07,200
- You wanted to tell me something.
- I want to run them 10 or 12 times a day.

46
00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:10,487
And I made some notations about
a few changes in the sound effects.

47
00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:14,359
Mr. Brewer will follow up with you
on it.

48
00:04:14,530 --> 00:04:17,920
- Yes, sir.
- And one thing more.

49
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:23,283
You know that this final preparation
has to be finished in two weeks.

50
00:04:23,450 --> 00:04:26,442
Mr. Turner, of the company,
is coming out to give us a once-over.

51
00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:27,804
Now, if we score...

52
00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:31,163
...it'll mean it'll be the biggest account
we've ever had.

53
00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:32,445
That's all. Thank you.

54
00:04:42,290 --> 00:04:44,485
Well, of course
I'm serious about you, Debbie.

55
00:04:44,650 --> 00:04:45,639
<i>You know it...</i>

56
00:04:45,810 --> 00:04:47,641
I'm not the type
that takes advantage.

57
00:04:47,810 --> 00:04:49,084
<i>Of course not, you love me.</i>

58
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:52,720
Look, why don't we discuss this tonight
at my place at the beach?

59
00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,608
Seven o'clock. I'm cooking.

60
00:04:54,770 --> 00:04:56,965
Love you. Miss you.

61
00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:01,806
- Take her to dinner another night.
- Well, her boyfriend's a pilot.

62
00:05:01,970 --> 00:05:05,849
- I have to work around his schedule.
- How about doing work around here?

63
00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:07,649
Business. Excuse me.

64
00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:10,686
- Mr. Brewer speaking.
<i>- Hello, it's Susan.</i>

65
00:05:10,850 --> 00:05:12,681
Oh, Susan?

66
00:05:12,850 --> 00:05:15,523
Well, how about dinner at my place
tonight at the beach?

67
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,999
- Seven o'clock? Drive carefully.
<i>- I'll be there.</i>

68
00:05:18,170 --> 00:05:20,001
Love you. Miss you.

69
00:05:20,370 --> 00:05:23,328
Just a minute. Didn't you just
make a date at 7:00 with...?

70
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,607
I know, I know. But you don't know
anything about being a bachelor.

71
00:05:26,770 --> 00:05:29,728
You've always got to have something
in the bullpen.

72
00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:33,769
If the weather is bad
and her boyfriend is grounded...

73
00:05:33,930 --> 00:05:37,969
I got it. One of these days,
these girls are gonna show up...

74
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,200
...at the same time
and you're gonna get shot.

75
00:05:40,370 --> 00:05:42,520
Oh, but what a cuckoo firing-squad.

76
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:46,087
Are you running a book
or something here?

77
00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:48,047
Business. Business.

78
00:05:48,370 --> 00:05:50,930
Hello, Mr. Brewer speaking.

79
00:05:51,090 --> 00:05:53,046
Oh, Debbie.

80
00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:58,121
Well, you call me if the fog lifts.

81
00:05:59,450 --> 00:06:02,442
Why don't you settle down
and get married? Find a nice girl.

82
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,968
I did, but you married her.

83
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:06,882
Oh, she just picked the better man.

84
00:06:07,050 --> 00:06:10,360
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
eloping with an 18-year-old kid.

85
00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:13,602
Here I am in the twilight of my life,
approaching middle-age...

86
00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:16,238
...a Ionely bachelor.
And what have I got?

87
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,321
Only the best collection of dames
in town.

88
00:06:18,650 --> 00:06:21,926
Yeah, but I'd give it all up
to have a family like yours.

89
00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:24,523
A minute.

90
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:26,322
Mr. Brewer speaking.

91
00:06:26,490 --> 00:06:28,367
Oh, Susan.

92
00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:31,041
Oh, you can't make it.

93
00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:32,768
Well, I understand.

94
00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:35,319
No apologies needed.

95
00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:38,281
- What time's dinner?
- Seven o'clock.

96
00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:41,362
And after we eat, we'll watch TV.
There's a great fight on.

97
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,649
Thanks, but don't you think
it would be more romantic...

98
00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:48,439
...to spend your anniversary
with your wife alone tonight?

99
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,960
I don't have to be romantic.

100
00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:53,007
I am married.

101
00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:56,845
And the one good thing about being
married for 19 years is that I can relax.

102
00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,602
You ought to try it sometime.

103
00:06:58,770 --> 00:07:01,284
Well, you find me someone like Val.

104
00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:05,329
Val? It's not only Val.
I work hard at being married.

105
00:07:05,770 --> 00:07:08,568
I'm a great father
and a good husband.

106
00:07:08,730 --> 00:07:12,848
That's why today,
Valerie is a happy, contented wife.

107
00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:16,923
I want to divorce Dan. D-l-V-O-R-C-E.

108
00:07:17,090 --> 00:07:20,002
On the grounds of boredom.
Just plain boredom.

109
00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:22,923
Valerie, this comes as a shock.
I'm not just a lawyer.

110
00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:25,046
I've been a friend of the family
for years.

111
00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:27,121
- What will divorce get you?
- Freedom.

112
00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:29,884
- A chance to live, to know life.
- Valerie, take it easy.

113
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,199
You're emotionally upset.

114
00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:34,248
- Have a glass of water.
- I don't want water, I want a divorce.

115
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,878
Valerie, you're just
feeling sorry for yourself.

116
00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:40,326
After 19 years of marriage,
you're beginning to get bored.

117
00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:42,208
Why don't you take
a second honeymoon?

118
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,326
A second honeymoon?
I didn't like my first.

119
00:07:44,490 --> 00:07:47,482
Now, now, now, don't get upset.
Let's discuss this calmly.

120
00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:50,118
Now, now, have you ever
mentioned divorce to Dan?

121
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:52,281
I've never even discussed marriage
with him.

122
00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:54,406
I was 18 and in Vegas.
Whoops, I had it.

123
00:07:54,570 --> 00:07:57,289
Now, I want a divorce
on the grounds of boredom.

124
00:07:57,450 --> 00:08:00,442
Boredom is not legally acceptable
as grounds for a divorce.

125
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,282
Then they'll have to change the law.

126
00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:05,328
Because boredom is responsible
for 95 percent of divorces.

127
00:08:05,490 --> 00:08:06,923
Divorce proves nothing.

128
00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:10,241
You're merely trading off the evils
of one man for another.

129
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:13,004
Now look,
you've probably had a family quarrel...

130
00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:15,320
If he would only quarrel, I'd love it.

131
00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:18,050
If he'd do anything
to break the monotony.

132
00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:20,929
But no, he's just so secure
in his marriage...

133
00:08:21,090 --> 00:08:23,320
...he just sits and looks at television.

134
00:08:23,490 --> 00:08:25,003
I could have married Ernie.

135
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:28,640
But no, I picked Dan because
everything we used to do was such fun.

136
00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:30,448
And now he's just dull.

137
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,842
Now I get the picture.

138
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:36,080
Dan is preoccupied with his work.

139
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:39,447
He feels sure of you.
You feel neglected.

140
00:08:39,610 --> 00:08:41,760
- You're getting a little older.
- A lot older.

141
00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:43,283
I told you, I'm a realist.

142
00:08:43,450 --> 00:08:46,010
And you're starting to feel insecure.

143
00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:48,365
Now, what do we do about it?

144
00:08:48,530 --> 00:08:52,284
We stop playing analyst and we sit down
and draw up the divorce papers.

145
00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:54,042
Everybody's getting a divorce.

146
00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:55,882
I'll be one of the in-people.

147
00:08:56,050 --> 00:08:59,406
- Oh, you feel marriage is outdated?
- Yes, I do.

148
00:08:59,570 --> 00:09:02,801
I think it's putting a permanent solution
to a temporary nervousness.

149
00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:05,438
Would you tell that to your daughter?

150
00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:07,646
- I might.
- Well, don't.

151
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:11,689
Marriage isn't perfect but it will have
to do until we think of something better.

152
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:14,364
You've got to try once more, Val.

153
00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:18,842
Look, instead of paying me a big fee,
why don't you go down to Saks...

154
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:21,729
...and buy yourself a black negligée?

155
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:24,085
You'll be surprised at the results.

156
00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:27,367
- I will?
- Absolutely. I guarantee it.

157
00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:31,728
And then take my advice
and try for a second honeymoon.

158
00:09:31,890 --> 00:09:34,723
- It's worth it.
- Well, I love Dan but...

159
00:09:34,890 --> 00:09:38,166
No buts. Think of your children.

160
00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:40,924
- They'll thank you for it.
- Oh, I don't know.

161
00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:43,684
Practically everybody in my neighborhood
is divorced.

162
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:47,559
My children feel strange and left out.

163
00:10:06,410 --> 00:10:08,366
Oh, Mrs. Edwards, that's not for you.

164
00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:10,168
That's our over-the-hill model.

165
00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:12,048
Mostly for rich Texans.

166
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:15,282
Now, this just came in
direct from Paris.

167
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:17,839
And it looks like you.

168
00:10:18,010 --> 00:10:20,763
It's called <i>Viva la Derriére.</i>

169
00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:25,048
Trust me.
It will be perfect for what you want.

170
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:29,488
Wow, it better do what I want.
It costs more than a washing machine.

171
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,048
Honey...

172
00:10:33,570 --> 00:10:38,360
...this will do things a washing machine
never even thought of.

173
00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:44,767
Rollo, how did you ever manage
to get a Honda?

174
00:10:45,010 --> 00:10:48,480
David, my entire life has been changed
since that wonderful thing happened.

175
00:10:48,650 --> 00:10:51,767
- My parents got a divorce.
- They gave you a Honda to celebrate?

176
00:10:51,930 --> 00:10:54,569
Out of guilt,
and that's only the beginning.

177
00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:57,722
I got a new tennis racket,
a catcher and pitcher's mitt.

178
00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:00,882
I've lost a father
but I gained a sporting goods store.

179
00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:04,326
Gee, divorce did all this for you?

180
00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:05,889
See? Look at the new watch.

181
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:08,564
My mother gave it to me
during one of her crying jags.

182
00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:10,129
- Why?
- My mother wanted me...

183
00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:11,564
...and my father wanted me.

184
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:14,039
Since then, it's been the easy life.

185
00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:17,320
- Who did you go with?
- Well, that's the trick.

186
00:11:17,490 --> 00:11:19,048
You play them against each other.

187
00:11:19,450 --> 00:11:22,442
Whenever I want anything I say,
"I'm the result of a broken home.

188
00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:24,999
I'm a step away from becoming
a juvenile delinquent."

189
00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:27,889
- And then they both go to pieces.
- Really?

190
00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:29,642
And that's only the beginning.

191
00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:32,324
My dad can't pass a toy store now
without dropping in.

192
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:34,242
He's hardly a challenge to me
anymore.

193
00:11:34,410 --> 00:11:36,162
I wouldn't want my parents
to divorce.

194
00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:39,288
- They love each other.
- Well, you can't all be lucky.

195
00:11:46,850 --> 00:11:49,318
But it's vital that I move out
of the house.

196
00:11:49,490 --> 00:11:51,560
It's positively...

197
00:11:51,730 --> 00:11:54,608
Well, it's mid-Victorian
for an 18-year-old girl...

198
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:56,681
...not to be allowed to live
her own life.

199
00:11:56,850 --> 00:12:01,401
Now look, honey, for a decision like that,
you have to see your father.

200
00:12:01,570 --> 00:12:03,845
I can't talk to him.

201
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,568
He's not like you.

202
00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:11,246
Worldly, sophisticated,
understanding.

203
00:12:11,410 --> 00:12:14,322
I know, when they made me,
they threw away the mold.

204
00:12:14,490 --> 00:12:18,039
Now, will you please go in and talk to
Daddy about letting me live with Lisa?

205
00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:19,279
How old is Lisa?

206
00:12:19,450 --> 00:12:23,079
She's 23 and she dances
at the Cafe A-Go-Go.

207
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:26,640
- Now will you talk to Daddy?
- Well, it's easy, Tracy.

208
00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:29,085
You just walk right through that door
and you say:

209
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:32,083
"Look, Dad, I wanna live
with Lisa Sterling and that's that.

210
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,969
I am asking you now but if you say no,
I'm telling you."

211
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,119
- You got it?
- Fine.

212
00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:38,246
- Good.
- Only you go in and say it.

213
00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:40,082
No, we'll go in together.

214
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:43,162
You talk and I'll be right behind you.

215
00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:44,559
Thanks for nothing.

216
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:46,561
Oh, Tracy, I'm no coward, it's just...

217
00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:48,721
You gotta think of me
as the Supreme Court.

218
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:51,563
Now go ahead. Go on and good luck.

219
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:54,005
I don't care what your Uncle Ernie said,
David...

220
00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:56,684
...you cannot have a Honda
until you're 16.

221
00:12:56,850 --> 00:12:58,568
Rollo's 14 and he has one.

222
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:01,290
Good. You can take your bike
and ride to his funeral...

223
00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:03,600
...but be sure you wear a tie.

224
00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:06,285
I am not showing favoritism, David.

225
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:10,120
Your sister, Tracy, will not be allowed
to go and live with Lisa.

226
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,008
Goodbye.

227
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:15,201
Hi, pumpkin, what can I do for you?

228
00:13:15,370 --> 00:13:18,123
I wish Ernie were my father.

229
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,246
Will you stop playing
part-time father?

230
00:13:31,570 --> 00:13:34,323
Try being a father 24 hours a day
and see the difference.

231
00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:36,481
Now you're gonna spoil it...

232
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,722
- Yes?
- Mr. Brewer...

233
00:13:39,890 --> 00:13:43,087
...a young man by the name of David
Edwards wants to talk with you.

234
00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:44,239
He says it's urgent.

235
00:13:45,170 --> 00:13:48,128
Tell young David
I'm in conference with his dad.

236
00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:50,246
What a family.

237
00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:55,206
You know, it's times like this that I wish
you had married Val instead of me.

238
00:14:11,170 --> 00:14:12,967
Hi, Tracy.

239
00:14:13,490 --> 00:14:15,446
How's my girl tonight?

240
00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:19,483
Look...

241
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:23,006
...you're gonna have to talk
to me eventually, I'm your daddy.

242
00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:25,879
How about a smile?

243
00:14:26,050 --> 00:14:28,439
Let me see if those braces
were worth the money.

244
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,366
Now, Tracy,
you know you're my favorite.

245
00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:35,725
Well, then, Daddy,
why don't you show it?

246
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:39,485
We could get along so beautifully
if you'd just give me my own way.

247
00:14:39,650 --> 00:14:42,642
Sure, that would be easy,
but what kind of a father would I be?

248
00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:46,041
No, I'd rather fight you now than
see you make serious mistakes later.

249
00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:47,928
I'll run away and marry Jim tomorrow.

250
00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:50,001
Stop using your brother's tactics
on me...

251
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:53,765
...and quit whining, Tracy,
you're making an old man out of me.

252
00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:57,600
Oh, Daddy, you're younger
than any of the kids at school.

253
00:14:57,770 --> 00:15:00,159
- Except Uncle Ernie.
- Sure.

254
00:15:00,330 --> 00:15:02,002
Oh, I haven't offended you, have I?

255
00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:04,161
No, he's 12.

256
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,925
Take a sip. Live it up.

257
00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:19,207
I love you, Daddy.
You're the best in the whole world.

258
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:21,247
I love you too.

259
00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:24,283
If you'd only let me live with Lisa.

260
00:15:24,570 --> 00:15:27,004
No, Tracy, no.

261
00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:33,762
Oh, hi, Tracy, baby.

262
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:36,239
What, you just poured for one?

263
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:38,764
What are you grinning about?

264
00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:40,079
Well, I'm a happy kid.

265
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:41,444
Can't I be happy?

266
00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:43,726
Has he been trying to hustle you
for a Honda?

267
00:15:43,890 --> 00:15:46,802
What are you cracking, Dan?
I never even discussed it with him.

268
00:15:46,970 --> 00:15:50,440
Uncle Ernie, where does Dad
get his suspicious mind?

269
00:15:50,610 --> 00:15:54,285
- He sure didn't inherit it from us.
- It's the executive in him, kid.

270
00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:57,203
Go ahead, all three of you.
Have your fun. Have a good time.

271
00:15:57,370 --> 00:16:00,567
Old Dad is square.
He doesn't know what's going on.

272
00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:06,286
Dan, it's your family
but I know about young girls.

273
00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:09,522
Please, nothing about your personal life
while the kids are here.

274
00:16:09,890 --> 00:16:11,687
Daddy, you should listen
to Uncle Ernie.

275
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,124
He's a wise old man.

276
00:16:13,370 --> 00:16:15,440
Hey, I wasn't too crazy
about that last part.

277
00:16:15,930 --> 00:16:18,205
Dad, you think you're having trouble
with us...

278
00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:20,008
...wait till you tackle Grandma.

279
00:16:20,170 --> 00:16:21,364
What's wrong with her?

280
00:16:21,530 --> 00:16:25,159
Ever since you refused to buy her
that color TV set...

281
00:16:25,330 --> 00:16:26,843
...she's been hitting the sauce.

282
00:16:27,010 --> 00:16:28,762
Now, you cut that out.

283
00:16:28,930 --> 00:16:31,444
You know very well
your grandmother doesn't drink.

284
00:16:31,610 --> 00:16:34,682
All right, Dad, if you wanna play
the old game of cough medicine...

285
00:16:34,850 --> 00:16:36,886
...I'll go along with you.

286
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:39,919
What's that?

287
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,888
I think that's old Granny
coming for the rye.

288
00:16:43,050 --> 00:16:44,449
This is no laughing matter.

289
00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:47,363
She's playing the battle march
of the MacPhersons.

290
00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:50,721
- Hey, Tracy, you come back here.
- You're on your own, Daddy.

291
00:16:50,930 --> 00:16:52,488
Come here, you little coward.

292
00:16:52,650 --> 00:16:54,800
She likes you better.
You stay and talk to her.

293
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,768
Sorry, Dad. Uncle Ernie,
I'll give you 2-to-1 on Grandma.

294
00:16:57,930 --> 00:17:00,000
- No bet.
- Listen, you wait a minute.

295
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:02,081
You're a drinking man,
you understand her.

296
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:04,480
I can't stand a woman
that can hold her liquor...

297
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:07,005
- You want your raise, you stay.
- That's blackmail.

298
00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:10,560
That's right. Come on with me.
Hurry up. Come on.

299
00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:47,165
Hey.

300
00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:49,480
Oh, Jeannie,
I didn't hear you come in.

301
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:51,003
- Hey.
- Care for a drink?

302
00:17:51,610 --> 00:17:53,885
No, thanks. It's too early for me.

303
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:56,688
You look lovely tonight, Jeannie.

304
00:17:56,850 --> 00:17:58,283
What beautiful kilts.

305
00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:00,600
Who is this man addressing me?

306
00:18:00,770 --> 00:18:02,761
Now don't you start that again.

307
00:18:02,930 --> 00:18:06,320
If you wanna look at color TV,
you can go to my room and watch it.

308
00:18:06,490 --> 00:18:11,166
I don't believe we've met, sir,
and I never talk to strangers at a bar.

309
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:14,322
Well, let me introduce you.
This is your son-in-law, Dan Edwards.

310
00:18:14,490 --> 00:18:16,720
This is your mother-in-law,
Jeannie MacPherson.

311
00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:19,245
I want a nice clean fight
and may the best man win.

312
00:18:19,410 --> 00:18:22,402
You can't be all that angry
over a little thing like a TV set.

313
00:18:22,570 --> 00:18:29,123
My anger started 19 years ago
before television was invented.

314
00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:32,009
How can you hold a grudge
for 19 years?

315
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,683
To the MacPhersons...

316
00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:37,843
...a 19-year-old grudge
is hardly worth talking about.

317
00:18:38,010 --> 00:18:42,526
We hated the Campbells
and we hated the English far longer.

318
00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:44,487
- Well, I'll drink to that.
- Quiet.

319
00:18:44,650 --> 00:18:47,608
If you want another TV set,
you'll have to talk to Val about it.

320
00:18:47,770 --> 00:18:49,920
Who's Val?

321
00:18:51,570 --> 00:18:53,959
Look, I had a tough day
at the office today, Jeannie.

322
00:18:54,130 --> 00:18:56,166
And the kids gave me
a rough time tonight.

323
00:18:56,330 --> 00:18:59,367
And I'm in no mood to play games.
But if I must, I must.

324
00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:01,486
Val is my wife, right?

325
00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:02,924
Wrong.

326
00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:06,162
Valerie MacPherson is unmarried...

327
00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:11,609
...and living with a man
called Dan Edwards with two children.

328
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:16,401
- You're not gonna start that again.
- Aye, that again, laddie.

329
00:19:16,570 --> 00:19:20,722
A man who would take a bit
of blooming heather from an old lady...

330
00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:24,360
...and crush it in a civil ceremony
in Las Vegas...

331
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,361
...deserves to be horsewhipped.

332
00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:28,327
I'll drink to that.

333
00:19:28,890 --> 00:19:31,324
For your information,
we were legitimately married...

334
00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:33,048
...by a justice of the peace.

335
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:35,405
Now, I'm sorry
we weren't married in a church...

336
00:19:35,570 --> 00:19:37,606
...but all of that ended 19 years ago.

337
00:19:37,770 --> 00:19:39,840
In the eyes of Las Vegas,
you're married...

338
00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:42,444
...but in the eyes
of Jeannie MacPherson...

339
00:19:42,730 --> 00:19:46,518
...her only daughter is living in sin.

340
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:55,083
I hope there's enough water in it
for you.

341
00:19:55,330 --> 00:19:56,922
Justice of the peace.

342
00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:59,843
When I buried my poor husband...

343
00:20:00,010 --> 00:20:04,561
...we had a bigger ceremony
than you had.

344
00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:24,640
Where do you suppose
she puts all that booze?

345
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:27,040
In her bagpipes.

346
00:20:28,690 --> 00:20:30,920
- Good evening, sir.
- Hi, Jim, come on in.

347
00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:32,159
Mr. Brewer.

348
00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:34,002
- Hi, kid.
- Tracy's upstairs.

349
00:20:34,170 --> 00:20:36,843
- She'll be down in a minute.
- You would care for a drink?

350
00:20:37,010 --> 00:20:40,605
No, no, I don't need
the stimulation of alcohol.

351
00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:42,601
I wish Grandma felt like you do.

352
00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:46,479
Yes, Mrs. MacPherson, a classic case.
A classic case.

353
00:20:46,650 --> 00:20:48,481
She drinks because she's unhappy.

354
00:20:48,650 --> 00:20:50,481
And she's unhappy
because she drinks.

355
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:55,485
It's what we, in psychiatry, call
an interlocking neuroses with herself.

356
00:20:55,650 --> 00:20:58,164
Oh, well, then is that why
she plays the bagpipes?

357
00:20:58,330 --> 00:21:01,322
- She thinks she's Louis Armstrong?
- That is a sublimation.

358
00:21:01,490 --> 00:21:04,368
- Oh, that I can understand.
- Yeah, it makes sense to me too.

359
00:21:04,850 --> 00:21:08,923
Oh, Mrs. MacPherson is not
the only problem in this household.

360
00:21:09,090 --> 00:21:11,763
Young David is of quite a concern
to me.

361
00:21:11,930 --> 00:21:15,161
You think, perchance,
he's a little devious?

362
00:21:16,690 --> 00:21:19,841
No, no, he seems to be
quite forthright.

363
00:21:20,010 --> 00:21:22,240
But, of course,
I have an advantage over you.

364
00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:24,287
I meet him on his own level.

365
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:28,887
He does have anxieties, though,
don't you agree?

366
00:21:29,050 --> 00:21:31,484
Let's call a spade a spade.
The kid's crooked.

367
00:21:31,650 --> 00:21:35,165
- Now, who is to say who is crooked?
- The cops.

368
00:21:36,810 --> 00:21:39,563
Well, I've thought about him
a lot lately anyway.

369
00:21:39,730 --> 00:21:42,290
After all,
we're potential brothers-in-law.

370
00:21:42,450 --> 00:21:43,724
I'm glad to hear that, Jim.

371
00:21:43,890 --> 00:21:46,450
When you and Tracy get married,
he can go live with you.

372
00:21:46,610 --> 00:21:48,362
Well, for instance:

373
00:21:48,530 --> 00:21:52,284
His desire for a Honda is a symbol.

374
00:21:52,450 --> 00:21:54,725
A symbol of his lack of love.

375
00:21:55,290 --> 00:21:59,283
He's reaching out, searching.
Searching for...

376
00:21:59,450 --> 00:22:00,724
For you, Mr. Edwards.

377
00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:03,484
- Are you paying attention?
- Every word.

378
00:22:03,650 --> 00:22:07,120
We had a very similar case
in my Abnormal Psychology class...

379
00:22:07,290 --> 00:22:11,283
...where a shy, introverted,
reticent young boy...

380
00:22:11,690 --> 00:22:13,920
...was grasping
for his father's affection...

381
00:22:14,090 --> 00:22:18,527
...didn't get it, and therefore reacted
in the most normal manner possible.

382
00:22:18,690 --> 00:22:21,329
- How was that?
- He killed his father with an ax.

383
00:22:21,490 --> 00:22:23,958
- I'll drink to that.
- Cheers.

384
00:22:24,130 --> 00:22:26,519
Jim, have you got the top down
on the car?

385
00:22:26,690 --> 00:22:28,328
- Oh, yes, it's down.
- Good.

386
00:22:28,490 --> 00:22:30,128
I'll help you put it up.

387
00:22:32,370 --> 00:22:34,565
Now, I like the top down.

388
00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:36,004
Look...

389
00:22:36,170 --> 00:22:39,128
...why don't you keep your side down
and put her side up?

390
00:22:39,290 --> 00:22:41,758
Oh, that's an excellent suggestion.

391
00:22:51,210 --> 00:22:52,484
- The fight's on.
- Yeah, yeah.

392
00:22:58,130 --> 00:22:59,324
<i>And in this corner...</i>

393
00:22:59,490 --> 00:23:00,809
Who do you like?

394
00:23:00,970 --> 00:23:02,608
- The guy on the right.
- Right.

395
00:23:02,770 --> 00:23:06,285
<i>- And a half pounds,</i>
<i>from Danfield, New York...</i>

396
00:23:06,450 --> 00:23:07,929
Is this bar for men only?

397
00:23:08,090 --> 00:23:10,285
- Hi, honey.
- Hi, Val.

398
00:23:10,610 --> 00:23:12,726
What's for dinner?
What are we eating?

399
00:23:13,570 --> 00:23:16,687
Does this look like an apron?

400
00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:18,727
He looks a little light.

401
00:23:22,930 --> 00:23:25,490
Hey, hey, you turned off the fight.

402
00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:29,040
You won't miss it, there's going to be
a doozy here in a minute.

403
00:23:29,210 --> 00:23:31,405
I think she's trying
to tell you something.

404
00:23:31,570 --> 00:23:33,447
I will start with a cliché.

405
00:23:33,610 --> 00:23:36,682
Do you know what day this is?

406
00:23:39,770 --> 00:23:42,045
Happy anniversary, darling.

407
00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:45,325
You look scrumptious.
Doesn't she look lovely?

408
00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:47,162
Yeah, champagne for the lady.

409
00:23:47,690 --> 00:23:50,807
Now, we are going out
to dine at LaRue...

410
00:23:50,970 --> 00:23:55,043
...and then we are going to the opening
of Trini Lopez at the Cafe A-Go-Go.

411
00:23:55,210 --> 00:23:56,199
Right, love?

412
00:23:57,050 --> 00:23:59,166
- But I'm not dressed.
- I can wait.

413
00:24:00,570 --> 00:24:02,481
But I invited this poor soul to dinner.

414
00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:05,120
He is welcome any time.

415
00:24:06,130 --> 00:24:07,245
But he's not dressed.

416
00:24:07,410 --> 00:24:10,208
Oh, but I have my dinner jacket
in back of the car.

417
00:24:10,370 --> 00:24:13,123
A bachelor is always prepared.

418
00:24:13,610 --> 00:24:15,362
Any more alibis, dear?

419
00:24:17,050 --> 00:24:18,642
I bow to a most beautiful lady.

420
00:24:24,450 --> 00:24:25,599
Thank you.

421
00:24:25,770 --> 00:24:27,681
Happy anniversary.

422
00:24:33,130 --> 00:24:34,882
I do love your present, Dan.

423
00:24:35,050 --> 00:24:36,961
It goes so beautifully with my pin.

424
00:24:37,130 --> 00:24:38,449
You do have marvelous taste.

425
00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:41,522
Oh, it's all right.
You gotta thank Ernie, he picked it out.

426
00:24:41,770 --> 00:24:45,649
Oh, well, thank you, Ernie.

427
00:24:45,890 --> 00:24:47,846
- And you.
- Yes, dear?

428
00:24:48,010 --> 00:24:50,205
Go get dressed.

429
00:24:51,170 --> 00:24:52,967
Yes, sergeant.

430
00:24:53,650 --> 00:24:55,686
Well, I've been telling you
for 19 years...

431
00:24:55,850 --> 00:24:57,363
...you married the wrong guy.

432
00:24:57,530 --> 00:25:01,603
Get in the back of your car
and get dressed.

433
00:25:47,490 --> 00:25:49,879
Daddy, how do you like it?

434
00:25:50,050 --> 00:25:52,120
I hope they got a cure for it.

435
00:25:52,290 --> 00:25:53,848
Aren't you gonna try it?

436
00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:55,045
Don't be ridiculous.

437
00:25:55,210 --> 00:25:58,043
I'd rather be home
watching the late, late, late movie.

438
00:25:58,210 --> 00:26:00,963
I don't think your grandmother
should be having all the fun.

439
00:26:01,130 --> 00:26:02,882
Please wait till you meet Lisa, Daddy.

440
00:26:03,050 --> 00:26:05,405
That's her in the cage, see?

441
00:26:09,490 --> 00:26:12,129
I can see why
they keep her in the cage.

442
00:26:17,490 --> 00:26:18,889
Mrs. Edwards and Mr. Brewer...

443
00:26:19,050 --> 00:26:21,883
...seem to be enjoying
these cannibalistic rites, huh?

444
00:26:22,050 --> 00:26:24,883
Yeah, look at them.
They're dancing up a storm.

445
00:26:25,050 --> 00:26:28,008
Your mother thinks she's 18 years old
and Uncle Ernie's fainted.

446
00:26:28,170 --> 00:26:30,479
Poor soul, he doesn't know
he's going on reflexes.

447
00:26:36,730 --> 00:26:40,439
Now, don't go away,
because Trini's back.

448
00:26:42,570 --> 00:26:46,961
One, two, one, two, three, four.

449
00:28:38,170 --> 00:28:40,525
Let me hear everybody now.

450
00:28:41,730 --> 00:28:43,482
Here we go.

451
00:28:44,890 --> 00:28:46,084
Everybody.

452
00:29:12,690 --> 00:29:15,079
Mrs. Edwards, in the vernacular
of this atmosphere...

453
00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:16,729
...you were out of sight.

454
00:29:16,890 --> 00:29:19,802
Well, as one zilch to another,
thank you.

455
00:29:19,970 --> 00:29:21,449
Mother.

456
00:29:21,610 --> 00:29:23,999
Well, come on, scuzz,
let's go find Lisa.

457
00:29:24,170 --> 00:29:28,243
Oh, boy, that Ernie can dance.
But then he always could.

458
00:29:28,410 --> 00:29:29,843
Natural talent.

459
00:29:30,010 --> 00:29:32,968
I wish some of it would rub off
on your friend.

460
00:29:33,130 --> 00:29:35,246
Are you ready to go home, dear?

461
00:29:37,450 --> 00:29:39,680
Shall we do
"The Anniversary Waltz," dear?

462
00:29:39,850 --> 00:29:42,887
Oh, I wouldn't think of breaking up
a championship team like this.

463
00:29:43,050 --> 00:29:45,325
She's all yours, Ernie, take her away.

464
00:29:45,490 --> 00:29:47,685
Well, come on, Ernie,
don't just sit there.

465
00:29:47,850 --> 00:29:50,489
And, you,
I'll wake you when I get back.

466
00:29:54,490 --> 00:29:55,718
- Pardon me.
- Excuse me.

467
00:29:55,890 --> 00:29:57,767
Daddy, this is Lisa.

468
00:29:57,930 --> 00:29:59,648
- Lisa, my dad.
- Hello, Mr. Edwards.

469
00:29:59,810 --> 00:30:02,199
How are you, dear?
Would you sit down?

470
00:30:02,370 --> 00:30:04,520
- Thank you.
- While you two get acquainted...

471
00:30:04,690 --> 00:30:08,365
...I'll go shake some of that intellect
loose from Jim.

472
00:30:09,250 --> 00:30:11,320
- How old are you, Lisa?
- Twenty-three.

473
00:30:11,490 --> 00:30:14,243
Well, in that case,
how would you like some champagne?

474
00:30:14,410 --> 00:30:16,605
I hate champagne.

475
00:30:17,450 --> 00:30:19,406
Red, a double Scotch
and easy on the water.

476
00:30:19,570 --> 00:30:22,289
Oh, you're a long hitter tonight.

477
00:30:24,450 --> 00:30:27,203
I think the champagne's
a little better for you.

478
00:30:27,370 --> 00:30:30,089
The last time I had champagne
was when my dad remarried.

479
00:30:30,250 --> 00:30:32,525
I've hated it ever since.

480
00:30:32,970 --> 00:30:34,369
Folks live in town here?

481
00:30:34,530 --> 00:30:36,486
I have a pad above the strip.

482
00:30:36,650 --> 00:30:38,720
My mom's swinging
on Long Island somewhere...

483
00:30:38,890 --> 00:30:41,962
...and my dad is married
to some square in Indianapolis.

484
00:30:43,490 --> 00:30:46,800
Your father approve of you
working in a place like this?

485
00:30:47,250 --> 00:30:49,047
Well, we don't communicate much
anymore.

486
00:30:49,210 --> 00:30:51,849
He's got his life and I've got mine.

487
00:30:52,010 --> 00:30:55,480
- Red, where's my drink?
- Hang loose, Lisa, hang loose.

488
00:30:59,930 --> 00:31:01,409
You don't approve of me, do you?

489
00:31:02,370 --> 00:31:03,962
Well, we just met.

490
00:31:04,410 --> 00:31:07,049
And you don't want Tracy
to share my pad with me, do you?

491
00:31:08,690 --> 00:31:11,841
There's plenty of room
and I get Ionely.

492
00:31:12,010 --> 00:31:12,999
It's not that, Lisa.

493
00:31:13,170 --> 00:31:17,129
I just feel that a young girl should live
at home until she's married, don't you?

494
00:31:19,090 --> 00:31:20,728
If she has a home to live at.

495
00:31:24,010 --> 00:31:25,329
How are you two doing?

496
00:31:25,490 --> 00:31:29,039
Great, on my side.
Your dad's a mellow groover.

497
00:31:29,490 --> 00:31:31,367
Oh, my cage is calling.

498
00:31:31,530 --> 00:31:34,328
Oh, well,
we'll see you after the show, Lisa.

499
00:31:34,490 --> 00:31:37,448
Oh, some kids are coming over
to my pad after the show.

500
00:31:37,610 --> 00:31:40,727
Why don't you bring your dad along?
He'd fit in.

501
00:31:40,890 --> 00:31:43,245
Later, Mr. Edwards.

502
00:31:46,330 --> 00:31:48,764
Well, what do you think of her,
Daddy?

503
00:31:48,970 --> 00:31:52,280
I like her very much, Tracy,
but I also feel sorry for her.

504
00:31:52,450 --> 00:31:54,281
Glad you met her?

505
00:31:54,730 --> 00:31:56,004
I'd like to meet her father.

506
00:31:56,170 --> 00:31:58,525
I think Lisa is a product of our times.

507
00:32:00,610 --> 00:32:03,204
Oh, Jim, there's the gang.
You don't mind, do you, Daddy?

508
00:32:03,370 --> 00:32:05,326
No, no,
we're going home anyway so...

509
00:32:05,490 --> 00:32:08,880
Now, don't be late, Tracy,
because I...

510
00:32:26,290 --> 00:32:27,803
Are you ready to go now?

511
00:32:27,970 --> 00:32:30,882
I'm just getting started.
How about you, Ernie?

512
00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:33,166
Oh, this is my life.
I could swing all night.

513
00:32:33,330 --> 00:32:35,048
I've got a business to look after.

514
00:32:35,210 --> 00:32:37,201
We must think of the business,
mustn't we?

515
00:32:37,370 --> 00:32:40,123
- I don't have to spoil your fun.
- Have you any suggestions?

516
00:32:40,290 --> 00:32:43,487
- Yes, Ernie can drive you home.
- That's not right. That's not right.

517
00:32:43,650 --> 00:32:44,924
- Why not?
- That's not right.

518
00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:48,685
After 19 years, if I can't trust you,
who am I going to trust?

519
00:32:49,090 --> 00:32:51,399
- Good night.
- Good night.

520
00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:53,208
So long, buddy.

521
00:32:54,850 --> 00:32:56,761
He's getting old, Ernie,
don't you think?

522
00:32:56,930 --> 00:32:59,842
He spends a lot of tough days
at the office, Val.

523
00:33:00,010 --> 00:33:01,682
Well, ready for some more dancing?

524
00:33:01,850 --> 00:33:03,568
Why don't we just sit a while?

525
00:33:04,410 --> 00:33:06,287
- Tired?
- No, I have claustrophobia.

526
00:33:06,450 --> 00:33:08,361
This thing is beginning
to close in on me.

527
00:33:08,530 --> 00:33:10,282
Me too. Where will we go?

528
00:33:10,450 --> 00:33:11,519
Go?

529
00:33:11,690 --> 00:33:15,683
But at this hour, what could be open?
What could be open?

530
00:33:15,970 --> 00:33:19,599
I have heard of a place
that's open all night.

531
00:33:23,930 --> 00:33:25,158
Val, it's late.

532
00:33:25,330 --> 00:33:29,801
Yes, I know, but I haven't seen the place
since you redecorated.

533
00:33:43,210 --> 00:33:47,123
Open fireplace with a real fire.

534
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:55,488
Just the right kind of music.

535
00:33:57,770 --> 00:34:01,240
Bar not too far from the action.

536
00:34:04,530 --> 00:34:09,285
Ernie, you've got it made.
It's a perfect trap.

537
00:34:09,450 --> 00:34:10,929
It's homey.

538
00:34:11,090 --> 00:34:12,808
It's scary.

539
00:34:12,970 --> 00:34:15,768
But irresistible.

540
00:34:16,970 --> 00:34:19,165
I love your subtlety.

541
00:34:19,330 --> 00:34:20,479
That's real fur.

542
00:34:20,650 --> 00:34:24,404
I'd expect nothing less
from a big-game hunter.

543
00:34:24,570 --> 00:34:26,845
- How about a brandy?
- Val, it's getting...

544
00:34:27,010 --> 00:34:30,525
Yes, I know, it's getting late.
But I'd love a brandy.

545
00:34:35,570 --> 00:34:37,288
- Ernie.
- Yeah.

546
00:34:37,450 --> 00:34:39,168
Do you ever intend to marry?

547
00:34:40,930 --> 00:34:42,249
Why?

548
00:34:42,410 --> 00:34:43,763
Because if you do, don't.

549
00:34:44,610 --> 00:34:47,249
- Why not?
- You'd turn into Dan.

550
00:34:51,250 --> 00:34:53,081
Thank you.

551
00:34:54,250 --> 00:34:56,718
Do you find me attractive, Ernie?

552
00:34:56,890 --> 00:34:58,039
Why?

553
00:34:58,210 --> 00:35:01,043
Oh, well, do you or don't you?

554
00:35:01,210 --> 00:35:03,599
I don't understand the question.

555
00:35:03,770 --> 00:35:07,001
Well, forget I'm Dan's wife.
Do you find me attractive?

556
00:35:07,170 --> 00:35:11,322
Oh, I can't forget you're Dan's wife,
but you certainly are attractive.

557
00:35:11,490 --> 00:35:13,606
Why doesn't Dan think so?

558
00:35:13,770 --> 00:35:16,284
Oh, Val, he's crazy about you.

559
00:35:16,450 --> 00:35:19,522
You're the only girl in his life.
He looks at nobody at the office.

560
00:35:19,690 --> 00:35:20,759
And I should know.

561
00:35:20,930 --> 00:35:22,249
I know Dan's not a chaser.

562
00:35:22,410 --> 00:35:24,685
That's his trouble.
He doesn't even chase me.

563
00:35:24,850 --> 00:35:26,647
- That's good.
- No, that's bad.

564
00:35:26,810 --> 00:35:29,608
Dan's become a square.

565
00:35:30,170 --> 00:35:32,684
Remember what a swinger he was
when we were kids?

566
00:35:32,850 --> 00:35:34,886
Well, he wasn't my type.
I liked you better.

567
00:35:35,050 --> 00:35:38,326
Oh, you never had a chance
against the old Dan.

568
00:35:38,490 --> 00:35:40,560
The present Dan...

569
00:35:41,170 --> 00:35:43,400
...that's something different.

570
00:35:44,570 --> 00:35:46,925
Val, don't you think
you've had enough to drink?

571
00:35:47,090 --> 00:35:48,364
Oh, I'm not tight.

572
00:35:48,530 --> 00:35:51,647
I might appear a little aggressive
but I'm not tight.

573
00:35:51,810 --> 00:35:57,089
I merely wish to state that Dan Edwards
has become very, very dull.

574
00:35:57,250 --> 00:35:59,810
D-U-L-L, dull.

575
00:35:59,970 --> 00:36:04,521
- Well, he has a lot of work at the office.
- He also has a wife who needs attention.

576
00:36:04,690 --> 00:36:05,964
I better change the record.

577
00:36:06,130 --> 00:36:10,567
Oh, sit down, Ernie.
I'm not trying to make a pass at you.

578
00:36:11,010 --> 00:36:14,366
I'm merely trying to find out
if anything's wrong with me.

579
00:36:14,530 --> 00:36:16,043
There's nothing wrong with you.

580
00:36:16,210 --> 00:36:18,804
You're as attractive today as you were
the day I met you.

581
00:36:19,090 --> 00:36:22,366
In fact, I think you're much
better-Iooking now than you were then.

582
00:36:22,530 --> 00:36:24,919
And if I'm right,
you were quite skinny.

583
00:36:25,090 --> 00:36:28,480
I wasn't skinny. I was 18.
There's a difference.

584
00:36:28,650 --> 00:36:31,403
You know, sometimes I wonder
what my life would have been...

585
00:36:31,570 --> 00:36:33,845
...if I hadn't married Dan
and married you.

586
00:36:34,010 --> 00:36:36,160
What I think you need
is a second honeymoon.

587
00:36:36,330 --> 00:36:39,083
- Are you proposing?
- No. I mean with Dan.

588
00:36:39,250 --> 00:36:42,208
Why don't you come down here
and spend a weekend with Dan?

589
00:36:42,370 --> 00:36:44,838
And I'll go to your house
and stay with the kids.

590
00:36:45,010 --> 00:36:47,126
Now, isn't that a good solution?

591
00:36:49,490 --> 00:36:51,879
I think we'd better get back.
Dan will be worried.

592
00:36:52,050 --> 00:36:55,565
Oh, Dan doesn't even know I'm alive.

593
00:36:55,730 --> 00:36:58,767
Do you know what he's doing
right now?

594
00:37:00,450 --> 00:37:03,920
Here they come.
Ready for the massacre.

595
00:37:04,090 --> 00:37:07,639
Yeah, they've got twice as many Indians
tonight as they had last night.

596
00:37:07,810 --> 00:37:09,084
Yeah.

597
00:37:10,850 --> 00:37:13,648
Here come the bad guys.

598
00:37:13,810 --> 00:37:16,005
What bad guys?
That's the United States Cavalry.

599
00:37:16,170 --> 00:37:17,888
I don't care who they are.

600
00:37:18,050 --> 00:37:19,403
They must be the bad guys.

601
00:37:19,570 --> 00:37:20,923
They're riding black horses.

602
00:37:23,850 --> 00:37:25,442
Hello, Mother.

603
00:37:25,610 --> 00:37:26,679
Hello, Dan.

604
00:37:26,850 --> 00:37:28,761
Oh, hi, Val.

605
00:37:29,450 --> 00:37:32,123
- Did you have a good time with Ernie?
- Oh, yes.

606
00:37:32,290 --> 00:37:33,882
We drove over to his place.

607
00:37:34,050 --> 00:37:35,529
Had a couple of drinks.

608
00:37:35,690 --> 00:37:37,043
He's a smooth operator.

609
00:37:37,210 --> 00:37:39,678
Oh, yeah.
All the girls are crazy about Ernie.

610
00:37:39,850 --> 00:37:41,841
I think he's fascinating.

611
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,568
Jealous?

612
00:37:43,730 --> 00:37:45,482
About Uncle Ernie? No, no.

613
00:37:45,650 --> 00:37:49,006
Would you two please be quiet?
There's a battle going on.

614
00:37:49,170 --> 00:37:51,206
Oh, Mother, it's late.
I want to go to bed.

615
00:37:51,370 --> 00:37:54,442
Well, just curl up, lass.
Don't mind me.

616
00:37:54,610 --> 00:37:57,078
Oh, I hardly think after 19 years
of marriage...

617
00:37:57,250 --> 00:37:58,478
...we need a chaperone.

618
00:37:58,650 --> 00:38:01,528
Don't you be rude to your mother.

619
00:38:03,810 --> 00:38:06,768
I wish you'd marry my daughter.

620
00:38:06,930 --> 00:38:08,079
I did.

621
00:38:08,250 --> 00:38:11,959
- But not in church.
- Not in a church.

622
00:38:26,730 --> 00:38:29,198
Mother, would you please
leave Dan and me alone?

623
00:38:29,370 --> 00:38:33,568
I can't leave.
The picture isn't over yet.

624
00:38:33,730 --> 00:38:37,848
Dan, would you move the television set
into Mother's room, please?

625
00:38:38,010 --> 00:38:39,238
Well...

626
00:38:39,410 --> 00:38:42,129
Hospitality.

627
00:38:44,210 --> 00:38:45,484
Good night, dear.

628
00:38:45,650 --> 00:38:47,959
Good night.

629
00:38:51,090 --> 00:38:54,765
- Hurry back, darling.
- You know what I can't understand...

630
00:38:54,930 --> 00:38:55,919
...about your mother?

631
00:38:56,090 --> 00:38:58,650
She wants to look at movies
on a color television set...

632
00:38:58,810 --> 00:39:00,402
...and they're in black and white.

633
00:39:00,570 --> 00:39:04,040
Well, mother says that black-and-white
movies look better in color.

634
00:39:42,530 --> 00:39:44,725
Good night, dear. Happy anniversary.

635
00:39:44,890 --> 00:39:46,369
- Dan.
- Yeah?

636
00:39:46,530 --> 00:39:48,600
I'm not sleepy.

637
00:39:48,770 --> 00:39:50,522
Oh, well...

638
00:39:50,810 --> 00:39:52,163
...you wanna talk?

639
00:39:52,330 --> 00:39:54,969
No, Dan, I don't want to talk.

640
00:39:55,130 --> 00:39:57,849
We can't watch television.
The set's in your mother's room.

641
00:39:58,010 --> 00:40:01,286
Darling, there are other things to do
besides sleeping...

642
00:40:01,450 --> 00:40:04,920
...and talking and watching TV.

643
00:40:05,890 --> 00:40:07,562
Come in.

644
00:40:16,850 --> 00:40:19,284
About your mother,
did you see what she just did?

645
00:40:19,450 --> 00:40:21,406
I'm not interested in my mother.

646
00:40:21,570 --> 00:40:23,288
And have you seen
David's report card?

647
00:40:23,450 --> 00:40:25,680
I'm not interested in David.

648
00:40:25,850 --> 00:40:29,763
Tracy's been on my back for days trying
to get me to okay her living with Lisa.

649
00:40:29,930 --> 00:40:33,969
Dan, is that really
all you can think of?

650
00:40:36,010 --> 00:40:38,205
Well, I don't know what else
to talk about, Val.

651
00:40:38,370 --> 00:40:43,046
- You're not interested in my work.
- I'm not interested in you. Period!

652
00:40:44,850 --> 00:40:48,525
Val, what are you,
crazy or something?

653
00:40:48,890 --> 00:40:51,245
Hey, the door is locked.

654
00:40:51,410 --> 00:40:52,968
Yes, and it's gonna stay locked.

655
00:40:53,130 --> 00:40:56,645
If I have to sleep,
I'm gonna sleep alone.

656
00:40:57,890 --> 00:40:59,448
Marital problems, Dad?

657
00:40:59,610 --> 00:41:00,599
Go to bed, David.

658
00:41:00,970 --> 00:41:03,359
For 25 cents,
you can sleep in the upper bunk.

659
00:41:03,530 --> 00:41:05,009
David!

660
00:41:07,890 --> 00:41:09,721
Blackmailer.

661
00:41:12,850 --> 00:41:15,000
Tracy, you've gotta let me come in.

662
00:41:15,170 --> 00:41:17,923
- It's late, Jim.
- But this is bad for me physically.

663
00:41:18,090 --> 00:41:20,240
Jim, we're only engaged.

664
00:41:20,410 --> 00:41:22,162
I'm not gonna do anything drastic.

665
00:41:22,330 --> 00:41:24,890
It's just that my feet hurt.

666
00:41:29,650 --> 00:41:30,685
Don't make any noise.

667
00:41:30,850 --> 00:41:33,080
We don't wanna wake them up.

668
00:41:55,650 --> 00:41:58,767
Daddy, what are you doing
on the couch?

669
00:41:58,930 --> 00:42:01,922
I'm sleeping on the couch.
What do you think, reupholstering it?

670
00:42:02,090 --> 00:42:04,320
- What's going on here?
- I'm sorry. It's my fault.

671
00:42:04,490 --> 00:42:07,880
I was gonna explain Freud's theory
of sex and premarital relationships.

672
00:42:08,050 --> 00:42:09,119
- What?
- But it can wait.

673
00:42:09,290 --> 00:42:11,520
Out! Get out! Okay, upstairs.

674
00:42:11,690 --> 00:42:12,884
Upstairs. Out, you.

675
00:42:13,050 --> 00:42:14,039
Good night, Daddy.

676
00:42:14,210 --> 00:42:15,199
- Good night, Jim.
- Out.

677
00:42:15,370 --> 00:42:17,804
- Good night. I'll tell you tomorrow.
- Out.

678
00:42:17,970 --> 00:42:18,959
Out.

679
00:42:19,130 --> 00:42:21,519
Sir, I don't wanna tell you
how to run your family...

680
00:42:21,690 --> 00:42:25,569
...but Jung, a disciple of Freud, says that
hostility between father and daughter...

681
00:42:25,730 --> 00:42:27,527
...can leave its mark
on grandchildren.

682
00:42:27,690 --> 00:42:30,079
I'll tell them when they get here.
Get out, go home.

683
00:42:31,690 --> 00:42:32,679
Hostile.

684
00:42:32,850 --> 00:42:35,125
What a nutty family.

685
00:42:36,050 --> 00:42:38,610
What am I doing on a settee?

686
00:42:50,250 --> 00:42:54,323
Premarital relationships, indeed.

687
00:42:56,890 --> 00:42:58,926
Well, now, let me see.

688
00:42:59,090 --> 00:43:01,320
"Application.

689
00:43:02,730 --> 00:43:05,563
Position of secretary..." Oh, here it is.

690
00:43:05,730 --> 00:43:08,483
But it says here
that your first name is Kitty.

691
00:43:08,650 --> 00:43:09,924
With two T's.

692
00:43:13,210 --> 00:43:16,088
Well, have you had
any previous experience?

693
00:43:16,690 --> 00:43:18,328
I'm a Yale graduate.

694
00:43:20,530 --> 00:43:22,282
My family has money.

695
00:43:23,890 --> 00:43:25,960
How many words a minute
did you say you typed?

696
00:43:26,810 --> 00:43:29,005
Oh, does the job require typing?

697
00:43:29,170 --> 00:43:33,129
Well, not much.
It's just a little portable typewriter.

698
00:43:33,490 --> 00:43:35,128
I suppose I could learn.

699
00:43:36,170 --> 00:43:38,365
I could teach you.

700
00:43:42,290 --> 00:43:44,008
Do you know any shorthand?

701
00:43:44,170 --> 00:43:48,004
I have my own crazy system
but you wouldn't understand it.

702
00:43:48,170 --> 00:43:52,083
Well, it don't matter much.
I don't have that much correspondence.

703
00:43:52,570 --> 00:43:54,447
Work and play don't mix.

704
00:43:54,610 --> 00:43:56,168
Good, you're fired.

705
00:43:56,330 --> 00:43:57,649
I haven't been hired yet.

706
00:43:57,810 --> 00:44:01,280
Oh, forget about secretarial work,
it's beneath you.

707
00:44:01,450 --> 00:44:04,089
Now, why don't you
go into that room...

708
00:44:04,250 --> 00:44:07,162
...and slip into something
more comfortable?

709
00:44:07,330 --> 00:44:08,445
Like what?

710
00:44:08,610 --> 00:44:11,443
Well, like something...

711
00:44:12,410 --> 00:44:13,604
...for midnight swimming?

712
00:44:13,770 --> 00:44:15,488
- I can't swim.
- Good.

713
00:44:15,650 --> 00:44:18,005
Helpless. I like that.

714
00:44:19,930 --> 00:44:21,045
Who's that?

715
00:44:21,210 --> 00:44:23,201
I didn't hear anything.

716
00:44:24,650 --> 00:44:27,722
- You're not married, are you?
- I'm not even engaged.

717
00:44:27,890 --> 00:44:28,925
Good.

718
00:44:29,090 --> 00:44:30,967
I'll wait for you in the other room.

719
00:44:31,130 --> 00:44:33,166
Smart move.

720
00:44:44,370 --> 00:44:46,964
I couldn't sleep and I felt like talking.
Are you busy?

721
00:44:47,130 --> 00:44:49,007
No, I was just going over a client.

722
00:44:49,170 --> 00:44:50,762
Forget business. This is personal.

723
00:44:50,930 --> 00:44:52,807
Can't it wait till morning?
I got sleepy.

724
00:44:52,970 --> 00:44:55,723
You're the best friend I got.
I gotta talk to somebody but...

725
00:44:55,890 --> 00:44:58,450
At 3:30 in the morning,
there's nothing I'd rather do...

726
00:44:58,610 --> 00:45:00,601
...than chat with you
over some hot cocoa.

727
00:45:00,770 --> 00:45:02,806
- What's your problem?
- My problem is Val.

728
00:45:02,970 --> 00:45:04,005
She's acting peculiar.

729
00:45:04,170 --> 00:45:05,967
- Peculiar? How?
- I don't know.

730
00:45:06,130 --> 00:45:08,166
I can't find the words.
She's been acting...

731
00:45:08,330 --> 00:45:11,049
- Restless?
- Yeah, restless. Did you notice it too?

732
00:45:11,210 --> 00:45:14,327
Well, she did seem kind of high-strung
when she was here.

733
00:45:14,490 --> 00:45:15,605
What do you think it is?

734
00:45:15,770 --> 00:45:17,806
Oh, hell,
I don't know anything about women.

735
00:45:18,210 --> 00:45:21,168
Oh, sure, like Einstein didn't know
anything about mathematics.

736
00:45:21,330 --> 00:45:23,048
I mean married women.

737
00:45:23,210 --> 00:45:25,963
I love Val very much and I've never
looked at another woman.

738
00:45:26,130 --> 00:45:29,008
- She locked me out of our bedroom.
- Have another key made.

739
00:45:29,170 --> 00:45:30,649
Oh, will you get serious?

740
00:45:30,810 --> 00:45:32,687
There's nothing wrong
with the marriage...

741
00:45:32,850 --> 00:45:35,489
No, it's solid.
She's as happy and contented as a cow.

742
00:45:35,890 --> 00:45:38,040
Well, that sounds romantic.

743
00:45:38,210 --> 00:45:39,404
She's crazy about you.

744
00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:42,642
Did she say anything tonight
that might help my problem?

745
00:45:42,810 --> 00:45:45,961
Well, she did hint at
being a little tired.

746
00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:48,689
Tired?

747
00:45:48,850 --> 00:45:52,763
With a washing machine,
a drying machine, a cook and a maid...

748
00:45:52,930 --> 00:45:54,886
...and two cars in the garage,
she's tired?

749
00:45:55,050 --> 00:45:58,645
Oh, she's as happy as a kid with you.
It's just that...

750
00:45:59,210 --> 00:46:01,770
Well, why don't you take her
on a second honeymoon?

751
00:46:01,930 --> 00:46:03,124
What for?

752
00:46:03,290 --> 00:46:04,564
Well, you need a vacation...

753
00:46:04,730 --> 00:46:07,403
...and you and me, we were going
to Mexico, to go fishing.

754
00:46:07,570 --> 00:46:08,844
You take her instead of me.

755
00:46:09,010 --> 00:46:12,241
No, I'd rather go with you.
You're more laughs.

756
00:46:12,410 --> 00:46:14,924
Look, pal, if it's for your happiness,
I'll step aside.

757
00:46:15,090 --> 00:46:17,729
You take her to Mexico.
Second honeymoon.

758
00:46:17,890 --> 00:46:20,279
I'll handle all the office work.

759
00:46:21,290 --> 00:46:22,848
You might have something there.

760
00:46:23,010 --> 00:46:24,841
It's a good idea.

761
00:46:25,250 --> 00:46:27,161
You're a real pal. I love you, kid.

762
00:46:28,130 --> 00:46:33,363
Well, why don't you turn on the music
and let the little one lead?

763
00:46:37,850 --> 00:46:40,239
When did we pick up that account?

764
00:46:54,210 --> 00:46:55,689
Is this the hotel?

765
00:46:55,850 --> 00:46:58,080
- Is this La Casa Alegria?
- How much?

766
00:46:59,810 --> 00:47:02,244
- What?
- Two hundred pesos.

767
00:47:02,410 --> 00:47:05,641
Oh, Dan, isn't it picturesque?

768
00:47:05,850 --> 00:47:08,045
Yeah, it's picturesque, yeah.

769
00:47:09,730 --> 00:47:12,563
Is this La Casa Alegria?

770
00:47:14,650 --> 00:47:17,642
Hey, buddy, wait, wait a minute, wait.
Plenty of room.

771
00:47:23,570 --> 00:47:26,130
Oh, welcome,
welcome to Puerta Villa.

772
00:47:26,290 --> 00:47:29,600
I, Miguel Santos, greet you and
wish you a speedy marriage or divorce.

773
00:47:31,890 --> 00:47:33,369
There must be some mistake here.

774
00:47:33,530 --> 00:47:37,205
There's only one place where everyone is
brought when they come to Puerta Villa.

775
00:47:37,370 --> 00:47:41,158
- That is the office of Miguel Santos.
- But we want to go to La Casa Alegria.

776
00:47:41,330 --> 00:47:42,319
In due time, senora.

777
00:47:42,490 --> 00:47:45,482
- I told the cab driver to...
- Oh, he is in my pay, senor.

778
00:47:45,650 --> 00:47:49,040
Now, senor and senora, what is it to be,
marriage or divorce?

779
00:47:49,210 --> 00:47:51,849
Either one can be done
with a minimum of difficulty, l...

780
00:47:55,210 --> 00:47:58,168
I am an honest attorney.
Rates are the same for rich and poor.

781
00:47:58,330 --> 00:48:01,288
It is what you call in America,
a blue plate special.

782
00:48:01,450 --> 00:48:02,724
Now, for a quick marriage...

783
00:48:05,210 --> 00:48:07,360
For a quick marriage,
we have the $200 package.

784
00:48:07,530 --> 00:48:09,919
This includes and gives you a choice
of mariachis...

785
00:48:10,090 --> 00:48:12,604
...red or white wine,
the bridal suite and a shoeshine.

786
00:48:12,770 --> 00:48:15,330
For $ 175,
only the red wine, no mariachis.

787
00:48:15,490 --> 00:48:17,082
The shoeshine, well, you know...

788
00:48:17,250 --> 00:48:20,162
- I don't think you understand, sir.
- Oh, please, please, senor.

789
00:48:20,330 --> 00:48:21,809
I start with the deluxe.

790
00:48:21,970 --> 00:48:25,440
I can marry or divorce you for $ 10
and you don't have to leave this office.

791
00:48:25,610 --> 00:48:27,009
But we are married.

792
00:48:27,170 --> 00:48:29,161
Yeah, well, senora...

793
00:48:29,330 --> 00:48:31,321
- You are married?
- Yes.

794
00:48:31,490 --> 00:48:33,765
For 19 years.

795
00:48:36,210 --> 00:48:37,768
Please don't feel badly about it.

796
00:48:37,930 --> 00:48:40,160
If we want to get divorced,
we'll call you.

797
00:48:40,330 --> 00:48:42,286
For $300, my deluxe divorce package.

798
00:48:42,450 --> 00:48:45,806
This includes two professional criers.
Then maybe one or two or three...

799
00:48:45,970 --> 00:48:48,359
Anything you want, senora.
Two, three, four, maybe...

800
00:48:48,530 --> 00:48:52,284
Do you mind if we go
to the Casa Alegria now?

801
00:48:52,450 --> 00:48:53,724
Yes, certainly, senor.

802
00:49:07,290 --> 00:49:10,487
- Wait a minute. What's the problem?
- He wants his cut for the divorce.

803
00:49:10,650 --> 00:49:15,007
- He does not believe you are married.
- But look, we are married.

804
00:49:15,170 --> 00:49:16,842
We're married.

805
00:49:24,770 --> 00:49:26,681
Hold it!

806
00:49:26,850 --> 00:49:29,364
- What's the problem?
- He wants his cut of the marriage.

807
00:49:29,530 --> 00:49:31,248
But we've only been here
two minutes.

808
00:49:31,410 --> 00:49:33,799
Oh, I've married four people
in less time than that.

809
00:49:33,970 --> 00:49:36,643
- For me, it goes like this:
- Can we go to the hotel now?

810
00:49:36,810 --> 00:49:38,801
Yes, certainly. Excuse me.

811
00:49:50,970 --> 00:49:54,280
Hey, taxi. Hey, wait a minute.
Come back. Taxi!

812
00:49:54,570 --> 00:49:58,358
Oh, look, there's the hotel, see?
"La Casa Alegria."

813
00:49:58,530 --> 00:49:59,645
I'd rather go home.

814
00:49:59,810 --> 00:50:01,038
Oh, Dan, give it a chance.

815
00:50:01,210 --> 00:50:04,407
Rollo's mother said that Puerto Villa
is perfectly beautiful.

816
00:50:04,570 --> 00:50:06,959
For a divorce maybe,
but not for a second honeymoon.

817
00:50:07,130 --> 00:50:08,722
Oh, come on.

818
00:50:27,650 --> 00:50:28,719
You have a reservation?

819
00:50:28,890 --> 00:50:30,323
Yes, Mr. And Mrs. Dan Edwards.

820
00:50:32,810 --> 00:50:35,370
- Mister and missus?
- Yes.

821
00:50:35,530 --> 00:50:37,839
- You are married?
- Of course we're married.

822
00:50:38,010 --> 00:50:40,843
Yes, we've been married for 19 years.

823
00:50:43,730 --> 00:50:45,368
Greetings, amigos.

824
00:50:45,530 --> 00:50:47,043
Welcome to La Casa Alegria.

825
00:50:47,210 --> 00:50:49,121
May your stay here
be a quarrelsome one.

826
00:50:49,290 --> 00:50:52,088
- You?
- But of course. I also manage the hotel.

827
00:50:52,250 --> 00:50:53,842
Give these people the bridal suite.

828
00:50:54,010 --> 00:50:55,602
But we do not have a bridal suite.

829
00:50:56,290 --> 00:50:57,882
All our suites are bridal suites.

830
00:51:03,450 --> 00:51:04,565
- Well, senor.
- Yes.

831
00:51:04,730 --> 00:51:07,722
If you need anything, just call me.
My card.

832
00:51:07,890 --> 00:51:09,562
"Miguel Santos. Attorney at law.

833
00:51:09,730 --> 00:51:12,403
Twenty-four-hour service
for marriage or divorce.

834
00:51:12,570 --> 00:51:14,162
We never sleep."

835
00:51:14,330 --> 00:51:18,209
You're a busy fellow, I'll tell you that.
Come on, dear.

836
00:51:22,370 --> 00:51:25,680
Oh, Dan. Just look at those mountains.
It's so romantic.

837
00:51:27,610 --> 00:51:28,884
What did you say, dear?

838
00:51:29,050 --> 00:51:32,326
Where's that doctor? We called
for him hours ago. Where is he?

839
00:51:32,610 --> 00:51:34,487
Dan, don't you think
you'd feel better...

840
00:51:34,650 --> 00:51:37,244
...if you went outside
and got a little fresh air?

841
00:51:37,410 --> 00:51:40,482
I would feel better if I were home
in my own bed.

842
00:51:40,650 --> 00:51:42,447
Where's that hokey doctor?

843
00:51:43,050 --> 00:51:47,328
Oh, Dan, why did you have to get sick
on our second honeymoon?

844
00:51:48,010 --> 00:51:49,523
I remember our first.

845
00:51:49,690 --> 00:51:52,841
You were strong and virile
and youthful.

846
00:51:53,010 --> 00:51:56,127
Yeah, I remember it too,
and you were sick.

847
00:51:56,290 --> 00:51:58,167
Oh, yes, that's true.

848
00:51:58,330 --> 00:52:01,128
- Well, our timing was bad.
- Don't worry about anything, dear.

849
00:52:01,290 --> 00:52:03,565
Maybe the third time
will be much more successful.

850
00:52:03,730 --> 00:52:04,845
Did you take your pill?

851
00:52:05,010 --> 00:52:07,763
I sent for water an hour ago
and the boy hasn't come up yet.

852
00:52:07,930 --> 00:52:11,809
Well, but that is the secret.
You mustn't drink the water down here.

853
00:52:11,970 --> 00:52:14,200
The secret is not to come
to this place at all.

854
00:52:14,370 --> 00:52:17,442
- I wanna go home. Let's get an airplane.
- Oh, no, no.

855
00:52:17,610 --> 00:52:19,566
You don't, Dan,
you don't ruin my holiday.

856
00:52:19,730 --> 00:52:22,767
Now as soon as that doctor gets here
and gets you on your feet...

857
00:52:22,930 --> 00:52:25,319
...we'll really start swinging.

858
00:52:27,450 --> 00:52:29,964
Oh, just a moment.

859
00:52:54,050 --> 00:52:55,881
- Sick?
- Oh, yes.

860
00:52:56,890 --> 00:52:57,959
Oh, it's a pity.

861
00:53:03,330 --> 00:53:07,403
Don't worry, senora, we have
a special marriage rate for widows.

862
00:53:07,690 --> 00:53:09,965
Now where's the doctor?
Somebody get the doctor.

863
00:53:10,290 --> 00:53:12,121
Oh, senor, the doctor, he is here.

864
00:53:12,290 --> 00:53:14,884
Oh, you? Him?

865
00:53:18,730 --> 00:53:21,369
Under the tongue, please.
Now close.

866
00:53:21,810 --> 00:53:25,086
Now just rest and relax, darling,
and don't worry about anything.

867
00:53:25,250 --> 00:53:28,128
I'm sure Ernie's handling everything
beautifully at the office.

868
00:53:28,650 --> 00:53:31,926
You are the best secretary
I've ever had.

869
00:53:32,090 --> 00:53:35,207
- Shouldn't we go to the office?
- Oh, no.

870
00:53:35,370 --> 00:53:38,760
When Mr. Edwards is away,
it's vacation time.

871
00:53:39,090 --> 00:53:41,479
- I haven't heard from him.
- Have you written to him?

872
00:53:41,650 --> 00:53:43,959
- No.
- Well, don't you think you should?

873
00:53:44,130 --> 00:53:45,882
I'd hate to lose this job.

874
00:53:46,050 --> 00:53:48,883
- I love the work.
- That's a good idea.

875
00:53:49,050 --> 00:53:52,201
- I think we should send him a letter.
- All right.

876
00:54:59,330 --> 00:55:01,480
Can we go home now?

877
00:55:05,850 --> 00:55:09,479
While I'm visiting my sick old mother
in Peoria, Bunny will take my place.

878
00:55:09,770 --> 00:55:13,843
- I'm sure you'll find her satisfactory.
- Well, you take your good old time, Lola.

879
00:55:14,010 --> 00:55:16,046
A girl only has one mother.

880
00:55:16,210 --> 00:55:17,768
Oh, I plan on coming back.

881
00:55:17,930 --> 00:55:19,807
Jobs like this aren't so easy to find.

882
00:55:19,970 --> 00:55:21,562
You'll always have your job, Lola.

883
00:55:21,730 --> 00:55:25,006
Still, I can't understand why you
would bring a replacement like Bunny.

884
00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:27,361
I trust you, Mr. Brewer.

885
00:55:29,290 --> 00:55:31,008
And I'm true to you, Lola.

886
00:55:31,170 --> 00:55:33,638
But what if she can't
keep her hands off me?

887
00:55:33,810 --> 00:55:37,405
- Now, that's a risk you'll have to take.
- I'll gamble.

888
00:55:55,050 --> 00:55:56,085
Do you type?

889
00:55:56,250 --> 00:55:58,445
Well, I'm a little rusty, but I can try.

890
00:55:58,610 --> 00:56:00,965
Oh, it's not important.

891
00:56:01,130 --> 00:56:05,999
I had a lot of secretaries, you know,
they typed a little.

892
00:56:10,410 --> 00:56:13,720
I'm not used to this type of machine,
but I'll pick up speed.

893
00:56:14,970 --> 00:56:18,201
- How about your shorthand?
- Oh, I used to be a court stenographer.

894
00:56:18,370 --> 00:56:19,962
I can do 200 words a minute.

895
00:56:20,130 --> 00:56:22,883
I can't say 200 words a minute.

896
00:56:23,050 --> 00:56:25,245
If you haven't any dictation
for me right now...

897
00:56:25,410 --> 00:56:27,799
...I'll just run in the kitchen
and cook something.

898
00:56:27,970 --> 00:56:29,289
All right.

899
00:56:29,450 --> 00:56:30,963
You can cook?

900
00:56:32,370 --> 00:56:34,838
My cacciatore won first prize
at the Pomona fair.

901
00:56:35,770 --> 00:56:37,806
Well, I'd vote for your cacciatore
any day.

902
00:56:38,690 --> 00:56:40,328
You're hungrier than I thought.

903
00:56:46,570 --> 00:56:49,960
I'll bake a special dessert. You're not
trying to lose weight, are you?

904
00:56:50,410 --> 00:56:52,924
No, I'm trying to put on.

905
00:56:53,770 --> 00:56:55,761
Then I'll chill a bottle of white wine.

906
00:56:55,930 --> 00:56:58,683
- Lf you don't mind.
- Oh, I'd love it.

907
00:56:58,850 --> 00:57:00,283
Is there anything you can't do?

908
00:57:01,530 --> 00:57:02,804
Well...

909
00:57:02,970 --> 00:57:04,449
...I'm not very good at bowling.

910
00:57:05,370 --> 00:57:08,407
- So what? Who wants a great bowler?
- My husband.

911
00:57:12,730 --> 00:57:15,563
Hey, Lis,
I got a card from my folks today.

912
00:57:15,730 --> 00:57:17,402
Mom's having a ball.

913
00:57:17,570 --> 00:57:19,606
Sure hope poor Dad's keeping up
with her.

914
00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:23,399
What do you mean, "poor Dad"?
I think he's deep.

915
00:57:23,810 --> 00:57:25,084
How old is he?

916
00:57:25,250 --> 00:57:28,686
I don't know. I'm 18.
You figure it out.

917
00:57:29,210 --> 00:57:31,121
When are they coming back?

918
00:57:31,290 --> 00:57:34,805
Gee, I hope never. Parents are a drag.

919
00:57:35,090 --> 00:57:37,046
Don't knock it.

920
00:57:37,210 --> 00:57:41,089
Oh, I'm sorry, Lis.
I forgot your folks are divorced.

921
00:57:41,250 --> 00:57:42,603
Does it bug you?

922
00:57:42,770 --> 00:57:45,807
Not at all. It's a way of life.

923
00:57:52,650 --> 00:57:54,208
Is that your husband?

924
00:57:54,370 --> 00:57:56,884
Take it easy. He knows all about you.

925
00:57:57,490 --> 00:57:58,809
He's dying to meet you.

926
00:57:58,970 --> 00:58:01,006
Well, then delay it as long as possible.

927
00:58:02,770 --> 00:58:04,761
Mr. Brewer's office.

928
00:58:04,930 --> 00:58:06,409
One moment, please.

929
00:58:06,570 --> 00:58:07,764
Have you a nephew?

930
00:58:07,930 --> 00:58:09,079
Not that I know of.

931
00:58:09,250 --> 00:58:12,048
There's a young man on the phone
asking for Uncle Ernie.

932
00:58:12,210 --> 00:58:15,202
Oh, oh, yes. Young David.
That's Dan's boy.

933
00:58:15,370 --> 00:58:17,281
Hello, David.

934
00:58:17,490 --> 00:58:21,119
The folks back from Mexico? What?

935
00:58:21,730 --> 00:58:25,279
You want me to buy a ticket
on a raffle for a Honda?

936
00:58:25,450 --> 00:58:27,645
Oh, how much? How much is...?

937
00:58:27,970 --> 00:58:29,449
A hundred and fifty dollars?

938
00:58:29,610 --> 00:58:32,807
Look, son, I'll talk to you
when I see you, huh?

939
00:58:35,370 --> 00:58:36,883
You wish I were your father?

940
00:58:37,050 --> 00:58:40,201
So do I, pal. Yeah, all right.

941
00:58:43,730 --> 00:58:44,799
Do you want children?

942
00:58:46,130 --> 00:58:47,279
Try me.

943
00:58:50,890 --> 00:58:53,165
Mr. Brewer's office.

944
00:58:53,370 --> 00:58:55,804
Yes, he's here.
It's long distance, from Detroit.

945
00:58:55,970 --> 00:58:58,723
I know it is. But who's calling?

946
00:58:59,970 --> 00:59:01,483
Hello.

947
00:59:01,770 --> 00:59:03,488
Oh, Mr. Turner.

948
00:59:03,650 --> 00:59:04,969
Yeah.

949
00:59:08,050 --> 00:59:11,520
Sorry about the interruption of the
honeymoon but I gotta get back to town.

950
00:59:11,690 --> 00:59:13,567
I can't trust Ernie running the office.

951
00:59:13,730 --> 00:59:16,847
Ernie's business is not
the most important thing in his life.

952
00:59:17,010 --> 00:59:19,808
He's more the romantic type.

953
00:59:20,050 --> 00:59:22,962
Will you please stop throwing
Ernie at me?

954
00:59:23,130 --> 00:59:25,325
That's all I've heard for 19 years.

955
00:59:25,490 --> 00:59:27,924
"I could've married Ernie.
I could've married Ernie."

956
00:59:28,090 --> 00:59:29,842
- Well, I could've.
- Why didn't you?

957
00:59:30,010 --> 00:59:32,205
Because at 18 I was rather stupid.

958
00:59:32,370 --> 00:59:35,919
That's true. Now will you please pack
so we can leave here?

959
00:59:37,370 --> 00:59:39,281
I'm not going.

960
00:59:40,810 --> 00:59:41,879
You're not going?

961
00:59:42,050 --> 00:59:45,042
That's what I said. I am not going.

962
00:59:45,210 --> 00:59:48,327
- You mean you're staying here alone?
- Yes.

963
00:59:48,490 --> 00:59:51,687
Val, nobody stays down here alone
unless they're gonna get a divorce.

964
00:59:51,850 --> 00:59:54,045
That's a thought.

965
00:59:55,730 --> 00:59:57,448
Just like a woman, right?

966
00:59:57,610 --> 01:00:01,808
Can't get her own way, so the first thing
comes into her mind is a divorce.

967
01:00:01,970 --> 01:00:04,359
What about those wonderful
19 years of married life?

968
01:00:04,530 --> 01:00:05,929
That's your description.

969
01:00:06,090 --> 01:00:07,842
Are you saying
I wasn't a good husband?

970
01:00:08,010 --> 01:00:10,160
Are you saying I haven't
been a marvelous wife?

971
01:00:10,330 --> 01:00:12,480
- I've never complained.
- I'm not complaining.

972
01:00:12,650 --> 01:00:15,403
And if you leave me here,
Dan Edwards, I'Il... I'Il...

973
01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:17,640
You'll what? Go ahead, say it.
Get a divorce?

974
01:00:17,810 --> 01:00:19,448
Exactly.

975
01:00:21,050 --> 01:00:22,642
- Come in!
- Come in!

976
01:00:26,050 --> 01:00:28,006
- Well, what's that?
- Your divorce papers.

977
01:00:28,170 --> 01:00:31,879
They were made the day you arrived.
I need your signature. Fill in the charts.

978
01:00:32,050 --> 01:00:34,006
Val, you coming?

979
01:00:34,170 --> 01:00:35,888
If you go, I'll sign.

980
01:00:36,050 --> 01:00:37,688
If you stay, I'll sign.

981
01:00:37,850 --> 01:00:39,806
I'm staying.

982
01:00:41,050 --> 01:00:42,563
Right there.

983
01:00:43,570 --> 01:00:46,289
You're not signing that.

984
01:00:46,450 --> 01:00:47,883
You can read.

985
01:00:48,050 --> 01:00:51,520
Dan Edwards, I'll get you for this.

986
01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:53,521
Desertion.

987
01:00:56,050 --> 01:00:59,725
Now your signature, senora,
and you're a free woman.

988
01:01:02,770 --> 01:01:04,920
Allow me, senora.

989
01:01:12,650 --> 01:01:14,208
Go back.

990
01:01:36,890 --> 01:01:37,879
Halt. Halt.

991
01:01:38,050 --> 01:01:40,848
- Senor, where are you going?
- I'm going to my room.

992
01:01:41,010 --> 01:01:42,841
Oh, and what room is that?

993
01:01:43,010 --> 01:01:44,568
2A, remember me?

994
01:01:44,730 --> 01:01:47,847
No, there must be a mistake.
Please, because it is not possible.

995
01:01:48,010 --> 01:01:50,285
Because in 2A, we have...

996
01:01:50,450 --> 01:01:52,566
In 2A,
we have a Senorita McPherson.

997
01:01:52,730 --> 01:01:54,049
A divorced woman.

998
01:01:54,210 --> 01:01:56,201
Senor, we are not this kind of hotel.

999
01:01:56,370 --> 01:01:59,840
- That's my wife up there.
- Your former wife, senor.

1000
01:02:00,010 --> 01:02:03,605
These are divorce papers.
Fully notarized.

1001
01:02:03,850 --> 01:02:05,966
- We were divorced already?
- But of course.

1002
01:02:06,130 --> 01:02:08,166
Speed is the basis of my business,
senor.

1003
01:02:08,330 --> 01:02:10,844
We have a very nice room here
on a different floor...

1004
01:02:11,010 --> 01:02:12,807
...with a charming view of the plaza.

1005
01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:18,208
Where are you going?

1006
01:02:18,650 --> 01:02:21,244
I was Ionely. I was going to join you.

1007
01:02:22,650 --> 01:02:24,561
Where are you going?

1008
01:02:25,490 --> 01:02:28,084
I was Ionely.
And I was going to join you.

1009
01:02:30,410 --> 01:02:34,688
Have you seen my latest special reduced
wedding rates for reconciled couples?

1010
01:02:37,170 --> 01:02:41,243
Well, we'll take the deluxe package here.
Spare no expense.

1011
01:02:41,410 --> 01:02:43,287
- Now may I go to my room?
- But of course.

1012
01:02:43,450 --> 01:02:47,568
- Intentions are the basis of all morality.
- Swell.

1013
01:02:55,290 --> 01:02:57,087
Sleeping?

1014
01:03:00,130 --> 01:03:01,768
Happy?

1015
01:03:02,610 --> 01:03:04,726
Yep. You?

1016
01:03:09,370 --> 01:03:10,928
- Dan.
- What, what?

1017
01:03:11,090 --> 01:03:13,445
We're divorced.

1018
01:03:14,130 --> 01:03:15,768
Don't be silly.

1019
01:03:15,930 --> 01:03:19,559
We'll be married again as soon
as Jeannie and the kids arrive.

1020
01:03:21,890 --> 01:03:23,369
Darling.

1021
01:03:23,530 --> 01:03:26,806
- Yes, dear.
- Do you think I could wear white?

1022
01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:28,198
Of course you can.

1023
01:03:28,370 --> 01:03:31,123
You can even wear a veil if you want.

1024
01:03:41,010 --> 01:03:43,160
Hello, pronto.

1025
01:03:44,370 --> 01:03:46,486
Yes, this is Dan Edwards.

1026
01:03:47,570 --> 01:03:49,606
Long distance, oh.

1027
01:03:49,770 --> 01:03:54,286
- Okay, I'll take it. Put him on.
- I hope it's no trouble with the children.

1028
01:03:54,930 --> 01:03:58,366
- No, it's Ernie.
- Ernie?

1029
01:03:58,530 --> 01:04:00,088
Hang up.

1030
01:04:00,290 --> 01:04:02,121
Good idea.

1031
01:04:06,450 --> 01:04:08,406
He hung up.

1032
01:04:08,570 --> 01:04:12,040
Well, see if you can get him back.
Please, it's an emergency.

1033
01:04:12,210 --> 01:04:15,964
No, I can't hold the line, I'm busy.
Now, you call me back.

1034
01:04:16,370 --> 01:04:18,281
Did Bunny do this for you?

1035
01:04:18,450 --> 01:04:20,281
You got a twisted, warped little mind.

1036
01:04:20,450 --> 01:04:25,080
- You knew she was married.
- Bunny? Married? I had no idea.

1037
01:04:25,250 --> 01:04:26,888
I'll bet.

1038
01:04:29,970 --> 01:04:31,005
Yes?

1039
01:04:31,170 --> 01:04:33,445
Oh, yeah, I'll talk to him. Put him on.

1040
01:04:33,610 --> 01:04:36,488
Hello, Dan. It's me, Ernie.

1041
01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:39,445
Well, of course I'm working.

1042
01:04:39,610 --> 01:04:42,329
Dan, it's very important
that you get back immediately.

1043
01:04:42,930 --> 01:04:47,446
Ernie, I can't come back home.
Can't you handle Turner yourself?

1044
01:04:47,610 --> 01:04:49,168
I just can't.

1045
01:04:49,330 --> 01:04:50,809
Val and I are getting married.

1046
01:04:51,650 --> 01:04:54,289
You told me that 19 years ago
and I didn't like it.

1047
01:04:54,450 --> 01:04:58,648
Look, Mr. Turner wants you
to make the presentation personally.

1048
01:04:59,890 --> 01:05:01,642
Come back or we'll lose the account.

1049
01:05:02,010 --> 01:05:05,082
Ernie, I promised Val that at the end
of our second honeymoon...

1050
01:05:05,250 --> 01:05:08,048
...we would get married.
Now, I'm bringing the family here...

1051
01:05:08,210 --> 01:05:10,201
...the kids and her mother.

1052
01:05:10,570 --> 01:05:11,559
Now...

1053
01:05:11,730 --> 01:05:15,120
I'm not crazy. I know it's complicated,
but I'm not crazy.

1054
01:05:15,290 --> 01:05:17,963
You see, we're gonna get married
because we got a divorce.

1055
01:05:18,130 --> 01:05:19,404
Oh, isn't it clear to you?

1056
01:05:19,850 --> 01:05:21,363
It's perfectly clear.

1057
01:05:21,530 --> 01:05:25,239
Now, let me call you back
as soon as the tequila wears off.

1058
01:05:25,410 --> 01:05:27,878
If you wanna lose your biggest account,
be my guest.

1059
01:05:28,730 --> 01:05:32,006
But, Ernie, Val wouldn't understand.

1060
01:05:35,170 --> 01:05:36,842
She understands.

1061
01:05:37,010 --> 01:05:40,127
I'll get the first plane out
and you get Turner waiting for me.

1062
01:05:40,290 --> 01:05:41,803
Bye.

1063
01:05:44,530 --> 01:05:46,168
You sure you understand, darling?

1064
01:05:46,330 --> 01:05:48,924
The only way a marriage
can be successful...

1065
01:05:49,090 --> 01:05:51,968
...is if both people give.

1066
01:05:52,530 --> 01:05:54,600
You know, you're the best.

1067
01:05:55,970 --> 01:05:58,086
I'll be back in three days
with the family.

1068
01:05:58,250 --> 01:06:00,525
I'll meet you at our wedding.

1069
01:06:15,250 --> 01:06:16,603
In this layout, Mr. Turner...

1070
01:06:16,770 --> 01:06:19,079
...we've engaged the services
of three top models.

1071
01:06:19,250 --> 01:06:22,083
And I interviewed each one personally.

1072
01:06:23,010 --> 01:06:25,888
Here we feature the mobile telephone,
his and hers.

1073
01:06:26,050 --> 01:06:29,201
The use of chrome against
the dark tone of the car is carried out...

1074
01:06:29,370 --> 01:06:32,487
...in the evening gown in this
photograph here. It's rather nice.

1075
01:06:32,650 --> 01:06:35,960
And finally, the informality
in the background...

1076
01:06:36,130 --> 01:06:38,280
...stresses the elegance here in front.

1077
01:06:38,450 --> 01:06:43,524
Mr. Turner, if your cars are built half
as good as those girls, you're home free.

1078
01:06:43,690 --> 01:06:46,966
Mr. Edwards, this is the best
presentation your company's ever made.

1079
01:06:47,130 --> 01:06:48,961
- Thank you.
- It's rather expensive...

1080
01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:51,963
...but if presented properly
to the board, they'll accept it.

1081
01:06:52,130 --> 01:06:55,759
Excuse me, gentlemen. Mr. Edwards,
your wife is on the phone from Mexico.

1082
01:06:55,930 --> 01:06:59,479
I'm sorry. Excuse me, gentlemen.
I'll take it in Mr. Brewer's office, dear.

1083
01:07:00,970 --> 01:07:02,449
Oh, Dan.

1084
01:07:02,610 --> 01:07:05,363
Dan, the arrangements for the wedding
are fabulous.

1085
01:07:05,530 --> 01:07:08,249
<i>And it's gonna be held tomorrow</i>
<i>in the center of the plaza.</i>

1086
01:07:08,410 --> 01:07:12,244
- Tell him about the church bells.
- Oh, yes, the church bells will be ringing.

1087
01:07:12,410 --> 01:07:13,923
- And...
- Tell him about the mayor.

1088
01:07:14,090 --> 01:07:16,763
Oh, yes, and the mayor
is going to perform the ceremony.

1089
01:07:16,930 --> 01:07:20,047
And I've got the most divine
wedding dress made right here.

1090
01:07:20,210 --> 01:07:21,848
- Tel him about the mariachis.
- Yes.

1091
01:07:22,010 --> 01:07:26,162
There's going to be mariachis and
flower girls and tequila and champagne.

1092
01:07:26,330 --> 01:07:27,888
You know,
it's gonna be fantastic.

1093
01:07:28,050 --> 01:07:30,041
- And expensive.
- And expensive.

1094
01:07:30,210 --> 01:07:31,882
- But worth it.
- Oh, but worth it.

1095
01:07:32,170 --> 01:07:34,001
I'm not going overboard am I, Dan?

1096
01:07:34,170 --> 01:07:37,003
No. Not at all. Spare no expense.

1097
01:07:37,170 --> 01:07:39,809
Tomorrow, Jeannie and the kids
and I will be down there.

1098
01:07:39,970 --> 01:07:43,804
Tomorrow. Oh, Dan, I do love you.

1099
01:07:44,210 --> 01:07:47,600
I love you too, darling. Bye, now.

1100
01:07:50,970 --> 01:07:52,961
Well, let's see.

1101
01:08:00,890 --> 01:08:02,448
What's wrong? What's the matter?

1102
01:08:02,610 --> 01:08:04,487
Dan, we have a problem.

1103
01:08:04,650 --> 01:08:06,800
There isn't a problem
this agency can't lick.

1104
01:08:06,970 --> 01:08:08,039
This is complicated.

1105
01:08:08,210 --> 01:08:10,849
I don't care. We can beat it.
What? What's your problem?

1106
01:08:11,010 --> 01:08:12,841
You have to leave
for Detroit tomorrow.

1107
01:08:13,010 --> 01:08:15,968
I have to leave... You're confused.
I'm going to Mexico tomorrow.

1108
01:08:16,130 --> 01:08:19,725
I understand your situation. But you can
remarry your wife some other time.

1109
01:08:19,890 --> 01:08:22,848
Now, my board of directors
can't meet some other time.

1110
01:08:23,010 --> 01:08:25,729
You can take Mr. Brewer.
He can make the presentation.

1111
01:08:25,890 --> 01:08:27,323
- I offered...
- Mr. Edwards.

1112
01:08:27,490 --> 01:08:30,368
This is the biggest advertising budget
our firm's ever made.

1113
01:08:30,530 --> 01:08:33,090
We'd be interested in going forward
with the project...

1114
01:08:33,250 --> 01:08:35,889
...if you make the presentation.

1115
01:08:36,450 --> 01:08:37,769
Gentlemen...

1116
01:08:37,930 --> 01:08:40,319
...I'll see you all in Detroit tomorrow.

1117
01:08:40,490 --> 01:08:42,401
- Now, just a minute.
- Now don't you worry.

1118
01:08:42,570 --> 01:08:46,563
He'll be there. I'm very sure that your
board will approve of our presentation.

1119
01:08:46,730 --> 01:08:48,960
I have a feeling they will.

1120
01:08:50,090 --> 01:08:52,046
Well, don't look so gloomy,
Mr. Edwards.

1121
01:08:52,210 --> 01:08:56,328
After all, it's not like leaving
a young bride at the altar, is it?

1122
01:09:01,730 --> 01:09:03,368
You can't talk for me.

1123
01:09:03,530 --> 01:09:06,840
Yes, I can, Dan, and you owe it
to the firm not to ruin this deal.

1124
01:09:07,010 --> 01:09:09,080
You can get remarried any time.

1125
01:09:09,250 --> 01:09:13,562
That's why Val divorced me. Because I
paid too much attention to this business.

1126
01:09:13,730 --> 01:09:15,641
She's been making arrangements
for a week.

1127
01:09:15,810 --> 01:09:18,722
- How can I tell her I can't marry her?
- Look, now, don't panic.

1128
01:09:18,890 --> 01:09:21,802
It's not difficult to tell a woman
you're not gonna marry her.

1129
01:09:21,970 --> 01:09:25,679
I've done it dozens of times.
I'm a master at it.

1130
01:09:26,370 --> 01:09:30,124
Well, then, you go to Mexico and tell her
that I can't marry her tomorrow...

1131
01:09:30,290 --> 01:09:33,282
...and I'll go to Detroit, master.

1132
01:09:36,210 --> 01:09:39,759
Bridegroom will be here. I've checked
with the airport, the plane is on time.

1133
01:09:39,930 --> 01:09:42,285
- Oh, good.
- I am sending a car to the airport...

1134
01:09:42,450 --> 01:09:44,725
...to meet him.
My wedding present to you, senora.

1135
01:09:44,890 --> 01:09:48,166
Oh, thank you. I mean,
<i>muchas gracias,</i> Senor Santos.

1136
01:09:49,930 --> 01:09:52,125
Excuse me.
In a wedding of this magnitude...

1137
01:09:52,290 --> 01:09:55,043
...every detail is handled
by the hands of Miguel Santos.

1138
01:10:01,410 --> 01:10:02,399
Oh, yes. Thank you.

1139
01:10:08,730 --> 01:10:10,243
You go meet the <i>Americano.</i>

1140
01:10:10,410 --> 01:10:13,129
As soon as they're married,
start the music and fireworks.

1141
01:10:13,290 --> 01:10:16,919
See that the muchachos throw flowers
and rice to the bride and the groom.

1142
01:10:17,090 --> 01:10:20,446
When the taxi arrives, you will greet him
and take him to the platform.

1143
01:10:20,610 --> 01:10:24,523
Now, you senoritas will go upstairs, then
accompany the senora to the platform...

1144
01:10:24,690 --> 01:10:27,648
...to be married and then you, mayor,
will perform the marriage.

1145
01:10:29,490 --> 01:10:31,765
Oh, I forget he does not know English.

1146
01:11:15,730 --> 01:11:18,528
- What can I do for you?
- I want to get married immediately.

1147
01:11:18,690 --> 01:11:20,169
Ordinarily it is no problem.

1148
01:11:20,330 --> 01:11:22,480
Today I'm handling
one of my deluxe weddings.

1149
01:11:22,650 --> 01:11:25,289
- Come back tomorrow.
- Tomorrow might be too late.

1150
01:11:25,450 --> 01:11:26,963
Why?

1151
01:11:35,770 --> 01:11:37,488
Well, this is a question of honor.

1152
01:11:37,650 --> 01:11:38,719
Here, come with me.

1153
01:12:31,570 --> 01:12:33,845
What are you doing here?
Where's Dan?

1154
01:12:35,290 --> 01:12:37,201
Take it easy, please.

1155
01:12:37,370 --> 01:12:39,838
Dan, you see, look...
I'll come right to the point.

1156
01:12:40,010 --> 01:12:41,762
You haven't been stood up.
It's just...

1157
01:12:41,930 --> 01:12:45,002
Well, he was temporarily delayed.
That's all.

1158
01:12:45,170 --> 01:12:46,523
What do you mean, "delayed"?

1159
01:12:46,690 --> 01:12:49,363
- This is my wedding day.
- Will you hold it down a little?

1160
01:12:49,530 --> 01:12:52,044
Just hold it down.
Look, Dan had to go to Detroit.

1161
01:12:52,210 --> 01:12:54,041
Urgent business. That's all.

1162
01:12:54,210 --> 01:12:57,441
- Business?
- Yeah. Look, I can't understand Spanish.

1163
01:12:57,610 --> 01:13:00,841
So you're just wasting your time,
that's all. Look, I just want...

1164
01:13:01,010 --> 01:13:02,682
Just a little second or two.

1165
01:13:02,850 --> 01:13:06,206
Look, the wedding will have
to be delayed a few days, that's all.

1166
01:13:06,370 --> 01:13:09,168
Oh, how could he do this to me?

1167
01:13:09,330 --> 01:13:12,003
Well, Val, you shouldn't cry.
It's fiesta time.

1168
01:13:12,170 --> 01:13:14,240
You've gotta be very happy today.

1169
01:13:24,770 --> 01:13:27,728
- What's happening?
- He just pronounced you man and wife.

1170
01:13:27,890 --> 01:13:29,209
You're married.

1171
01:13:29,370 --> 01:13:30,928
You and me.

1172
01:13:36,330 --> 01:13:38,207
Married?

1173
01:13:38,370 --> 01:13:40,167
To him?

1174
01:13:45,610 --> 01:13:48,602
"Leave everything in the hands
of Miguel Santos."

1175
01:13:48,770 --> 01:13:50,601
How could you have let this happen?

1176
01:13:50,770 --> 01:13:52,647
It was an unfortunate circumstance.

1177
01:13:52,810 --> 01:13:54,607
During my absence
your husband appeared.

1178
01:13:54,770 --> 01:13:56,089
But he is not my husband.

1179
01:13:56,250 --> 01:13:59,686
Well, I mean that the mayor
had never seen the senor.

1180
01:13:59,850 --> 01:14:02,239
- It could happen to anybody.
- I don't care.

1181
01:14:02,410 --> 01:14:04,970
- I don't want it to happen to me.
- Think of some way...

1182
01:14:05,130 --> 01:14:07,963
...out of this predicament.
- There's only one thing to do.

1183
01:14:08,130 --> 01:14:10,280
Without any extra charge
you'll get a divorce.

1184
01:14:10,450 --> 01:14:11,439
- A divorce?
- Yes.

1185
01:14:11,610 --> 01:14:13,999
- But that's preposterous.
- Oh, no, Val, that's great.

1186
01:14:14,170 --> 01:14:16,001
- Great idea.
- I have the papers here.

1187
01:14:16,170 --> 01:14:19,446
All you have to do is to sign
and the affair will be forgotten.

1188
01:14:19,610 --> 01:14:21,726
And you mustn't tell Dan.
He won't understand.

1189
01:14:21,890 --> 01:14:24,848
He'll just kill me, that's what.
Where do I sign?

1190
01:14:30,090 --> 01:14:34,208
Now, if the senora will sign. For a
divorce, two signatures are required.

1191
01:14:35,170 --> 01:14:36,967
Sign here, Val.

1192
01:14:37,170 --> 01:14:38,649
You really think he'd kill you?

1193
01:14:38,810 --> 01:14:41,643
I know he'd kill me and
I wouldn't blame him. Just sign here.

1194
01:14:41,810 --> 01:14:44,643
But you always said
you wanted to marry me.

1195
01:14:44,810 --> 01:14:47,608
Sign here, Val. Right here.

1196
01:14:49,090 --> 01:14:51,729
No, I'm not going to sign.

1197
01:14:51,890 --> 01:14:55,565
I'm very happy
being Mrs. Ernie Brewer.

1198
01:14:55,730 --> 01:14:57,448
She's not gonna sign.

1199
01:15:22,730 --> 01:15:24,288
Good morning, Dr. Santos.

1200
01:15:24,450 --> 01:15:26,725
I want to thank you
for arranging everything.

1201
01:15:31,410 --> 01:15:33,685
It has been a pleasure divorcing
and marrying you.

1202
01:15:33,850 --> 01:15:37,559
- Lf at any time in the future...
- I may need you just one more time.

1203
01:15:37,730 --> 01:15:40,005
Always at your service,
always at your service.

1204
01:15:40,170 --> 01:15:41,888
Thank you. Is my husband ready?

1205
01:15:53,010 --> 01:15:53,999
Doctor?

1206
01:15:55,250 --> 01:15:56,569
How is my husband?

1207
01:15:56,730 --> 01:16:00,279
Senora, your husband is under heavy
sedation. He spent a very bad night.

1208
01:16:00,450 --> 01:16:03,442
He kept calling for you.
Your name is Lola?

1209
01:16:03,610 --> 01:16:04,929
No.

1210
01:16:05,090 --> 01:16:07,160
- Bunny?
- No.

1211
01:16:07,330 --> 01:16:09,207
- Kitty?
- No.

1212
01:16:09,890 --> 01:16:12,006
Senora, your husband was delirious.

1213
01:16:12,170 --> 01:16:15,526
I understand. You see, doctor,
he's never been married before.

1214
01:16:16,130 --> 01:16:20,408
Oh, yes. At his age, it's difficult
to accept the inevitable.

1215
01:16:20,570 --> 01:16:23,482
- Thank you so much, doctor.
- Senora, everything is ready.

1216
01:16:23,650 --> 01:16:25,083
All ready?

1217
01:16:47,850 --> 01:16:50,569
Yes, my advice was
to take a second honeymoon.

1218
01:16:50,730 --> 01:16:53,802
- But with Dan, not with Ernie.
- But you don't understand.

1219
01:16:53,970 --> 01:16:57,679
By marrying Ernie,
I saved my marriage to Dan.

1220
01:16:57,850 --> 01:16:59,761
Well, I've been a lawyer
for a long time.

1221
01:16:59,930 --> 01:17:01,841
I've listened to a lot
of crazy arguments.

1222
01:17:02,010 --> 01:17:04,046
But that one's too far out,
even for me.

1223
01:17:04,210 --> 01:17:05,529
It's quite simple.

1224
01:17:05,690 --> 01:17:07,726
Ernie and I were married by mistake.

1225
01:17:07,890 --> 01:17:11,405
But it suddenly struck me
it was a blessing in disguise.

1226
01:17:11,570 --> 01:17:16,405
So I decided to use Ernie
to make Dan realize what he's lost.

1227
01:17:16,570 --> 01:17:19,130
As soon as that happens,
you will arrange an annulment.

1228
01:17:19,490 --> 01:17:22,800
The basis for an annulment
is the non-consummation of a marriage.

1229
01:17:23,650 --> 01:17:26,528
Well, that's obvious. I only love Dan.

1230
01:17:26,690 --> 01:17:29,727
I merely substituted Ernie
for your black negligée.

1231
01:17:29,890 --> 01:17:32,450
And how do you suppose
Dan will take this?

1232
01:17:32,610 --> 01:17:34,646
Violently, I hope.

1233
01:17:34,810 --> 01:17:37,085
Ernie's at the office
waiting to face him.

1234
01:17:38,610 --> 01:17:40,521
I only hope Dan doesn't kill him.

1235
01:17:40,690 --> 01:17:44,205
It'd serve him right,
lying to me all these years.

1236
01:17:45,010 --> 01:17:48,161
"Oh, baby, if you were only free.
Just say the word."

1237
01:17:48,330 --> 01:17:51,208
Oh, if Dan doesn't kill him,
I might do it myself.

1238
01:17:51,370 --> 01:17:55,079
Now remember, I don't handle homicides
but I'll get you a good criminal lawyer.

1239
01:17:55,250 --> 01:17:58,925
I don't need a criminal lawyer.
I have a perfectly good lawyer...

1240
01:17:59,090 --> 01:18:01,604
...who I hope knows how to keep
a confidence.

1241
01:18:01,770 --> 01:18:04,045
- I have my ethics.
- Good.

1242
01:18:04,210 --> 01:18:07,805
Goodbye, Shad. You're a true friend.

1243
01:18:08,570 --> 01:18:14,964
Incidentally, could I interest you
in a slightly used black negligée?

1244
01:18:19,370 --> 01:18:21,247
<i>- Yes, sir?</i>
- Page Mr. Dan Edwards...

1245
01:18:21,410 --> 01:18:23,560
...at the airport immediately.

1246
01:18:27,810 --> 01:18:32,406
<i>Paging Mr. Dan Edwards.</i>
<i>Paging Mr. Dan Edwards.</i>

1247
01:18:32,570 --> 01:18:33,798
- You called for me?
- Yes.

1248
01:18:33,970 --> 01:18:35,961
- Are you Mr. Edwards?
- Yes.

1249
01:18:36,130 --> 01:18:37,245
Hello.

1250
01:18:37,410 --> 01:18:38,763
Oh, Shad, how are you?

1251
01:18:38,930 --> 01:18:41,524
Now look, Dan,
what I'm about to tell you is unethical.

1252
01:18:41,690 --> 01:18:43,726
But I'd rather be a friend
than a lawyer.

1253
01:18:43,890 --> 01:18:47,200
Val just left me, and this is
what she told me in confidence.

1254
01:18:49,490 --> 01:18:51,481
Well, I'll be darned.

1255
01:18:51,650 --> 01:18:53,641
Think she'd do a thing like that?

1256
01:18:56,290 --> 01:18:58,520
Yeah, I got a telegram from Ernie.

1257
01:18:59,290 --> 01:19:02,965
Oh, don't you worry.
I know how to take care of him.

1258
01:19:04,090 --> 01:19:05,239
Fine.

1259
01:19:05,410 --> 01:19:07,719
Okay, Shad. Goodbye.

1260
01:19:17,730 --> 01:19:19,004
When is he coming in?

1261
01:19:19,170 --> 01:19:21,240
I just spoke to Mr. Edwards
from the airport.

1262
01:19:21,410 --> 01:19:23,844
- He's coming to the office.
- I should have met him.

1263
01:19:24,010 --> 01:19:26,968
It's hard to explain these things
at the airport.

1264
01:19:27,130 --> 01:19:28,722
Quite.

1265
01:19:29,210 --> 01:19:31,166
He wouldn't hit me.

1266
01:19:31,850 --> 01:19:33,681
He might hit me.

1267
01:19:39,250 --> 01:19:41,480
It's a bit early for that, isn't it?

1268
01:19:41,650 --> 01:19:44,289
I don't want to face him
on an empty stomach.

1269
01:19:47,930 --> 01:19:52,446
Mr. Brewer, I imagine you would like
to have this on your desk now.

1270
01:19:54,370 --> 01:19:56,008
- Mr. Edwards.
- Hello, Miss Blight.

1271
01:19:56,170 --> 01:19:59,560
- Hi.
- Howdy, partner. What's new?

1272
01:19:59,730 --> 01:20:03,166
What's new?
Didn't you get my telegram?

1273
01:20:04,850 --> 01:20:06,522
You mean this?

1274
01:20:07,450 --> 01:20:10,442
"Due to circumstances beyond
my control, I've married your wife.

1275
01:20:10,610 --> 01:20:13,249
Can explain everything. I think.
Your friend, Ernie."

1276
01:20:13,410 --> 01:20:16,129
Well, they do things fast in Mexico.

1277
01:20:16,290 --> 01:20:18,645
- Planning to take that with you?
- I don't love Val.

1278
01:20:18,810 --> 01:20:20,243
She belongs to you.

1279
01:20:20,410 --> 01:20:22,082
Oh, trouble on your honeymoon, eh?

1280
01:20:22,250 --> 01:20:24,639
There wasn't and there isn't
gonna be a honeymoon.

1281
01:20:24,810 --> 01:20:28,723
I just wanna be a friend of the family.
When do you wanna take her back?

1282
01:20:29,290 --> 01:20:31,850
Ernie, the children are fond of you.
Val is fond of you.

1283
01:20:32,010 --> 01:20:34,524
We've had little a trouble.
This might be the solution.

1284
01:20:34,690 --> 01:20:35,884
I love being a bachelor.

1285
01:20:36,050 --> 01:20:39,326
Well, I hope you kept a scrapbook,
because your bachelor days are over.

1286
01:20:39,490 --> 01:20:43,005
Look, Dan, you can't force me
to stay married to your wife.

1287
01:20:45,810 --> 01:20:48,688
You made my bed, now lie in it.

1288
01:20:49,730 --> 01:20:51,960
Valerie, this Mexican marriage...

1289
01:20:52,130 --> 01:20:55,805
...has the same spiritual quality
as the Las Vegas marriage.

1290
01:20:55,970 --> 01:20:58,086
To me you're still living in sin.

1291
01:20:58,250 --> 01:21:00,366
Oh, Mother.
I don't want the children to hear.

1292
01:21:00,530 --> 01:21:02,646
Why not?

1293
01:21:03,770 --> 01:21:07,922
They have a perfect right to know
that after two marriages...

1294
01:21:08,090 --> 01:21:10,729
...they still have no legal father.

1295
01:21:10,890 --> 01:21:14,769
Oh, Mother, I shall always
be married to Dan...

1296
01:21:14,930 --> 01:21:18,605
...regardless of who I'm married to
at the present time.

1297
01:21:19,810 --> 01:21:21,721
You poor soul.

1298
01:21:23,770 --> 01:21:25,123
Dan is coming at the door.

1299
01:21:25,290 --> 01:21:29,568
And if you're looking for somewhere
to hide, Valerie, don't come to my room.

1300
01:21:44,490 --> 01:21:45,525
Don't hit me.

1301
01:21:45,690 --> 01:21:47,840
Hit you? For what?

1302
01:21:48,290 --> 01:21:50,929
- What are you going to do?
- I am going to pack.

1303
01:21:51,890 --> 01:21:54,848
You're on the run.
You've done something terrible to Ernie.

1304
01:21:55,490 --> 01:22:00,200
The police are after you. I'll go with you.
I'll stand by you, no matter what.

1305
01:22:00,370 --> 01:22:02,884
What did you do,
get hooked on that tequila down there?

1306
01:22:03,050 --> 01:22:05,166
- Did you see Ernie?
- Yes.

1307
01:22:05,330 --> 01:22:09,369
But did...? Did you...?
Did you smash him?

1308
01:22:09,530 --> 01:22:11,088
Smash him? For what?

1309
01:22:11,250 --> 01:22:14,720
For what? A man marries your wife,
that's for what.

1310
01:22:14,890 --> 01:22:16,243
Val, how old are you?

1311
01:22:16,410 --> 01:22:18,878
Oh, what difference does that make?

1312
01:22:19,050 --> 01:22:22,281
- You're over 18, right?
- But I didn't know I was getting married.

1313
01:22:22,450 --> 01:22:23,963
The whole thing was in Spanish.

1314
01:22:24,130 --> 01:22:25,324
Congratulations.

1315
01:22:25,490 --> 01:22:30,086
"Congratulations." Is that all you can say
after 19 years of marriage?

1316
01:22:30,250 --> 01:22:34,129
Val, let's be civilized. We had a bad
marriage, so let's have a happy divorce.

1317
01:22:34,290 --> 01:22:37,168
If you need me, you can get in touch
with me at Ernie's house.

1318
01:22:37,330 --> 01:22:38,445
Ernie's place?

1319
01:22:38,610 --> 01:22:42,922
You mean you're gonna live in that
bachelor pad with all those fur rugs?

1320
01:22:43,090 --> 01:22:45,479
It's not exactly a family house,
but it'll suffice.

1321
01:22:45,650 --> 01:22:47,845
Don't you tell me
you're going to be a bachelor.

1322
01:22:48,010 --> 01:22:51,525
- Well, you made me one.
- You're going to live like Ernie?

1323
01:22:51,690 --> 01:22:53,920
Well, I don't know
what comes with a beach house.

1324
01:22:54,090 --> 01:22:56,968
I do. If you walk out on me now,
Dan Edwards, I'Il...

1325
01:22:57,130 --> 01:23:00,042
You'll divorce me?
But you already have, my dear.

1326
01:23:00,210 --> 01:23:03,361
But... Oh, now, wait a minute.

1327
01:23:04,170 --> 01:23:06,081
When will I see you?

1328
01:23:06,250 --> 01:23:07,603
Well, maybe in a week or so.

1329
01:23:07,770 --> 01:23:12,241
When I come to visit the children.
Goodbye, Mrs. Brewer.

1330
01:23:18,530 --> 01:23:21,761
- Who is it?
- It's Dad. Can I come in?

1331
01:23:21,930 --> 01:23:23,568
Just a minute.

1332
01:23:27,850 --> 01:23:29,727
Come in, Dad.

1333
01:23:33,290 --> 01:23:36,043
Hey, what's all this here?

1334
01:23:37,050 --> 01:23:40,565
Oh, come on, now, son,
you needn't be upset.

1335
01:23:40,730 --> 01:23:44,439
You like Uncle Ernie
and after all I'm still your pop.

1336
01:23:45,330 --> 01:23:46,888
And we'll still be pals.

1337
01:23:47,050 --> 01:23:49,883
I'll take you to the movies.
I'll take you fishing.

1338
01:23:50,050 --> 01:23:51,722
Take you to a couple of ball games.

1339
01:23:51,890 --> 01:23:53,118
We'll have a good time.

1340
01:23:53,290 --> 01:23:56,805
Dad, you'll never have to buy my love.

1341
01:23:56,970 --> 01:23:58,847
That's my man.

1342
01:24:00,370 --> 01:24:02,759
Yes, Mr. Edwards, I quite understand.

1343
01:24:02,930 --> 01:24:05,239
Give the boy anything he wants.

1344
01:24:05,410 --> 01:24:08,129
- Very good, sir.
- Congratulations.

1345
01:24:08,290 --> 01:24:12,363
Now, Mr. Smythe, I'd like
some of those scrambler handlebars...

1346
01:24:12,530 --> 01:24:14,839
...and turn indicators, and a horn.

1347
01:24:15,010 --> 01:24:17,205
Two horns.
Now's the time to go for broke.

1348
01:24:17,370 --> 01:24:18,439
Make that two horns.

1349
01:24:19,010 --> 01:24:21,126
Welcome to the club.

1350
01:24:26,170 --> 01:24:28,365
I think I'll walk the dog.

1351
01:24:28,530 --> 01:24:30,919
We don't have a dog.

1352
01:24:31,650 --> 01:24:33,368
I'll find one.

1353
01:24:36,450 --> 01:24:41,240
There's still some use
for an old mother, eh, lass?

1354
01:24:41,410 --> 01:24:44,288
Especially on a honeymoon night.

1355
01:24:51,450 --> 01:24:53,042
It's me, Ernie, let me in.

1356
01:24:56,570 --> 01:24:58,447
Hey, Dan, I gotta talk to you.

1357
01:25:00,690 --> 01:25:02,169
Hi, girls, Ernie's home.

1358
01:25:02,330 --> 01:25:04,002
Me, Ernie.

1359
01:25:06,410 --> 01:25:09,163
- No married men allowed.
- But, Dan!

1360
01:25:16,570 --> 01:25:18,288
Thank you.

1361
01:25:19,410 --> 01:25:22,049
It's the only way to fly.

1362
01:25:27,690 --> 01:25:28,679
- Mr. Brewer.
- Yes?

1363
01:25:28,850 --> 01:25:30,408
Our quota is 30 letters a day.

1364
01:25:30,570 --> 01:25:31,923
We must make our quota.

1365
01:25:32,090 --> 01:25:35,526
I know what we do. Why don't you
write them and I'll just sign them, huh?

1366
01:25:35,690 --> 01:25:37,567
Oh, now it won't take too long.

1367
01:25:37,730 --> 01:25:41,325
My shorthand is 150
and my typing is 100.

1368
01:25:41,490 --> 01:25:44,766
Lola was 38-22-36.

1369
01:25:44,930 --> 01:25:47,888
- I beg pardon.
- I was just dreaming, just dreaming.

1370
01:25:48,050 --> 01:25:50,120
There's Ernie with his shoulder
to the wheel.

1371
01:25:50,290 --> 01:25:53,327
- Justifies your promotion.
- Yeah, well, why did you give it to me?

1372
01:25:53,490 --> 01:25:57,324
You got big responsibilities. You're a
married man. Ernie the Bachelor is dead.

1373
01:25:57,490 --> 01:25:59,720
Yeah, but Ernie the Married Man
is not too alive.

1374
01:25:59,890 --> 01:26:02,120
Oh, I know it's tough
to raise a family.

1375
01:26:02,290 --> 01:26:04,087
I had one once.

1376
01:26:04,250 --> 01:26:06,605
- You look a little peaked, I think.
- Why, do l...?

1377
01:26:06,770 --> 01:26:08,726
Come down to the beach
and sit in the sun.

1378
01:26:08,890 --> 01:26:10,846
- I can go now.
- No, you've got work to do.

1379
01:26:11,010 --> 01:26:13,365
A married man must have stability.

1380
01:26:13,530 --> 01:26:15,407
You owe it to my old family
to make good.

1381
01:26:15,570 --> 01:26:17,640
We really should go now,
Mr. Edwards.

1382
01:26:17,810 --> 01:26:21,689
- We don't want to miss the sun.
- Be right there. Keep punching.

1383
01:26:32,930 --> 01:26:34,079
- Mr. Brewer.
- Yes?

1384
01:26:34,250 --> 01:26:38,163
I don't like to be personal,
but after 15 years with Mr. Edwards...

1385
01:26:38,330 --> 01:26:40,969
...I feel that something has happened
to him. Don't you?

1386
01:26:41,130 --> 01:26:43,883
Yes. He thinks he's me.

1387
01:26:44,050 --> 01:26:45,722
He thinks he's me.

1388
01:26:53,090 --> 01:26:54,967
Anybody here?

1389
01:26:57,530 --> 01:26:59,361
Hey, the breadwinner's home.

1390
01:26:59,530 --> 01:27:01,919
- Who stole my bagpipes?
- I did.

1391
01:27:02,090 --> 01:27:04,206
I can't stand that weird music
at night.

1392
01:27:04,370 --> 01:27:06,247
Don't throw your weight around.

1393
01:27:06,410 --> 01:27:08,765
You're only a husband,
and number two at that.

1394
01:27:08,930 --> 01:27:12,843
I didn't ask to be the head of this family.
Since I am, I'm running things my way.

1395
01:27:13,010 --> 01:27:15,968
Wait till that darling lad Dan
hears of this.

1396
01:27:16,130 --> 01:27:21,329
Then you'll feel the might
of a real man.

1397
01:27:21,770 --> 01:27:24,967
Hi, Tracy. You gonna join the Marines?

1398
01:27:25,130 --> 01:27:27,564
No. I'm leaving home.
I'm going to live with Lisa.

1399
01:27:27,730 --> 01:27:29,846
What do you mean,
you're gonna live with Lisa?

1400
01:27:30,010 --> 01:27:33,559
You always told me that if you were
my father, you'd let me live with Lisa.

1401
01:27:33,730 --> 01:27:36,403
I said that when I was a bachelor.
You're gonna live here.

1402
01:27:36,570 --> 01:27:39,607
And furthermore, I want you
in this house every night by 12:00.

1403
01:27:39,770 --> 01:27:41,840
- What's come over you?
- Fatherhood.

1404
01:27:42,010 --> 01:27:44,285
Now you just get upstairs and unpack.

1405
01:27:44,450 --> 01:27:47,726
You can't push me around.
I won't take it.

1406
01:27:47,890 --> 01:27:52,361
And wait till I tell my father about this,
you... You bully.

1407
01:27:57,530 --> 01:27:59,680
- I wanna talk to you.
- You too? Go right ahead.

1408
01:27:59,850 --> 01:28:01,761
- What's your problem?
- Did you tell Mom...

1409
01:28:01,930 --> 01:28:04,000
...I gotta give back the Honda?
- Yes, I did.

1410
01:28:04,170 --> 01:28:06,479
Well, I won't.
It was a gift from my dad.

1411
01:28:06,650 --> 01:28:08,606
Look, kid, I'm responsible for you.

1412
01:28:08,770 --> 01:28:12,888
Now, as head of this family, my first
duty is not to go to your funeral.

1413
01:28:13,050 --> 01:28:14,403
Now, give that Honda back.

1414
01:28:14,570 --> 01:28:17,130
I'm going to tell my father
that you're ruining my life.

1415
01:28:17,290 --> 01:28:19,804
I'm ruining your life
and you'll do as I say.

1416
01:28:19,970 --> 01:28:21,881
You're a Jekyll and Hyde.

1417
01:28:22,050 --> 01:28:23,847
Where is the lovable old Uncle Ernie?

1418
01:28:24,010 --> 01:28:25,409
He's somewhere in Mexico.

1419
01:28:25,570 --> 01:28:28,642
Get rid of that thing. I wanna talk
to you about your report card.

1420
01:28:28,810 --> 01:28:32,689
- I'm not gonna have a dropout at 12.
- And I'm not gonna give back the Honda.

1421
01:28:33,330 --> 01:28:34,843
No physical violence.

1422
01:28:35,010 --> 01:28:36,921
You're not my real father.

1423
01:28:43,010 --> 01:28:44,921
Well, I'm ready.

1424
01:28:45,090 --> 01:28:46,318
You going somewhere?

1425
01:28:46,490 --> 01:28:47,809
We are going somewhere.

1426
01:28:47,970 --> 01:28:50,245
We're going out to dinner
and we're going dancing.

1427
01:28:50,410 --> 01:28:52,605
Val, I'm tired. I had a hard day
at the office.

1428
01:28:52,770 --> 01:28:54,362
I'm not interested.

1429
01:28:54,530 --> 01:28:58,603
At least let's have some companionship
from our marriage.

1430
01:29:00,730 --> 01:29:04,166
I'll not stay in this house
another night.

1431
01:29:04,330 --> 01:29:05,365
Great.

1432
01:29:06,330 --> 01:29:09,003
Mother, you can't leave me alone.

1433
01:29:09,210 --> 01:29:12,919
- You're not alone, you have him.
- I know, that's why I need you.

1434
01:29:13,090 --> 01:29:17,402
This entire setup is unnatural.

1435
01:29:32,490 --> 01:29:34,208
I wonder what's keeping Tracy.

1436
01:29:34,370 --> 01:29:36,167
She's not coming.

1437
01:29:36,330 --> 01:29:38,161
What do you mean,
"she's not coming"?

1438
01:29:38,330 --> 01:29:40,048
I mean Tracy approves of us.

1439
01:29:40,210 --> 01:29:42,519
Since her mother gave you
such a dirty deal.

1440
01:29:42,690 --> 01:29:43,759
Oh, quit it, will you?

1441
01:29:43,930 --> 01:29:47,525
- Being with you is like being with Tracy.
- You've got an old-man fixation.

1442
01:29:48,370 --> 01:29:50,565
As for me, you're the youngest man
I ever dug.

1443
01:29:51,530 --> 01:29:54,681
Lisa, you're a very young girl.
You've got everything before you.

1444
01:29:54,850 --> 01:29:56,761
- Don't you wanna get married?
- Yes.

1445
01:29:57,010 --> 01:29:58,682
And I've got the man all picked out.

1446
01:29:59,810 --> 01:30:01,289
You.

1447
01:30:02,930 --> 01:30:04,921
There is Tracy now.

1448
01:30:05,290 --> 01:30:08,248
There she is. Trac...

1449
01:30:08,410 --> 01:30:10,765
Jeannie. What are you doing here?

1450
01:30:10,930 --> 01:30:12,522
I have come to live with you.

1451
01:30:12,690 --> 01:30:17,081
To make up for everything
that evil daughter of mine did to you.

1452
01:30:17,250 --> 01:30:18,968
- Oh, you...
- Don't argue, laddie.

1453
01:30:19,130 --> 01:30:22,805
I'll have this house blooming
like the heather in no time.

1454
01:30:22,970 --> 01:30:27,202
I'll not let you live
a Ionely bachelor's life.

1455
01:30:34,490 --> 01:30:36,958
You see, you needn't have pity
on me anymore.

1456
01:30:37,130 --> 01:30:39,769
My mother-in-law has come
to live with me.

1457
01:30:42,930 --> 01:30:45,319
I have quite a problem, doctor.

1458
01:30:45,490 --> 01:30:49,085
- That's what I'm here for. To help you.
- Well, it isn't gonna be easy.

1459
01:30:49,570 --> 01:30:52,926
Well, I think we can handle it.
Now start from the beginning.

1460
01:30:53,130 --> 01:30:56,520
- Well, I just recently got married.
- Very sensible.

1461
01:30:56,690 --> 01:30:59,204
Statistics show
that married men live longer.

1462
01:30:59,370 --> 01:31:01,520
Yes, but my problem...

1463
01:31:02,290 --> 01:31:04,520
...is I don't wanna sleep with my wife.

1464
01:31:05,450 --> 01:31:07,008
Well, you see, I'm not shocked.

1465
01:31:07,770 --> 01:31:09,362
But you will be.

1466
01:31:09,530 --> 01:31:12,124
She's the wife of my best friend.

1467
01:31:12,290 --> 01:31:13,928
Oh, I see.

1468
01:31:14,090 --> 01:31:16,445
You do have a problem.

1469
01:31:18,050 --> 01:31:23,682
To put it delicately, sir,
is your wife desirous of your attention?

1470
01:31:24,690 --> 01:31:28,160
Up till now, no.
But since her mother left...

1471
01:31:28,330 --> 01:31:30,127
...I gotta get prepared.

1472
01:31:30,290 --> 01:31:32,167
Quite so.

1473
01:31:32,330 --> 01:31:34,048
Quite so.

1474
01:31:34,890 --> 01:31:36,164
What if I sprain my ankle?

1475
01:31:38,090 --> 01:31:41,162
Well, it would be uncomfortable
but still possible.

1476
01:31:46,650 --> 01:31:48,129
How about if I broke my leg?

1477
01:31:48,610 --> 01:31:50,646
You'd have to wear a cast.

1478
01:31:50,810 --> 01:31:52,960
From where to where?

1479
01:31:59,170 --> 01:32:04,324
I still don't understand how a man
could break his leg in a telephone booth.

1480
01:32:04,490 --> 01:32:06,799
It happens all the time.

1481
01:32:06,970 --> 01:32:08,642
Now, now lie still.

1482
01:32:08,810 --> 01:32:10,289
Don't aggravate yourself.

1483
01:32:10,450 --> 01:32:12,202
You need plenty of rest.

1484
01:32:12,370 --> 01:32:15,885
Well, that's what the doctor said.
I need complete rest.

1485
01:32:16,050 --> 01:32:20,328
How long did Dr. Newman say
you would have to keep the cast on?

1486
01:32:21,690 --> 01:32:25,763
Oh, anywhere from six months
to who knows.

1487
01:32:25,930 --> 01:32:27,966
I'm completely incapacitated.

1488
01:32:28,130 --> 01:32:31,440
Well, don't worry about it. We'll
make you as comfortable as possible...

1489
01:32:31,610 --> 01:32:34,522
...and I'll move into Mother's room
now that she's gone.

1490
01:32:34,690 --> 01:32:36,282
There.

1491
01:32:37,850 --> 01:32:40,967
You know, there's a lot of
Florence Nightingale in you.

1492
01:32:50,130 --> 01:32:52,598
Oh, you... You.

1493
01:32:53,210 --> 01:32:56,520
Is there something you'd like to discuss
with me? A father-and-son chat?

1494
01:32:56,690 --> 01:32:58,646
Have you been
going through my room again?

1495
01:32:58,810 --> 01:33:00,766
Because I'm missing
a new tennis racket.

1496
01:33:01,050 --> 01:33:02,483
You had two.

1497
01:33:02,650 --> 01:33:04,641
My father gave it to me.

1498
01:33:04,810 --> 01:33:07,563
It was a perfectly normal gift
between father and son.

1499
01:33:08,010 --> 01:33:10,285
If you spent half as much time
on your homework...

1500
01:33:10,450 --> 01:33:13,522
...as you do blackmailing,
you'd be a genius.

1501
01:33:14,410 --> 01:33:17,766
David, I'm a cripple. Now, easy.

1502
01:33:19,210 --> 01:33:22,839
You might be able to fool Mom,
but you can't fool me.

1503
01:33:23,010 --> 01:33:26,889
While you were going through my
closet, I was going through your x-rays.

1504
01:33:28,410 --> 01:33:31,800
Come to think of it, David,
you do need two tennis rackets.

1505
01:33:31,970 --> 01:33:34,040
You're a growing boy.

1506
01:33:34,210 --> 01:33:37,202
Throw in a dozen balls
and my lips are sealed.

1507
01:33:38,530 --> 01:33:39,599
It's a deal.

1508
01:33:42,730 --> 01:33:43,765
David.

1509
01:33:44,290 --> 01:33:46,042
Give my regards to your parole board.

1510
01:34:02,810 --> 01:34:04,368
How's the leg, love?

1511
01:34:04,530 --> 01:34:06,998
Oh, I think it's getting worse
instead of better.

1512
01:34:07,170 --> 01:34:09,047
This may take a year to heal.

1513
01:34:09,210 --> 01:34:11,644
Oh, what a pity.

1514
01:34:15,530 --> 01:34:20,320
Oh, by the way, dear, get that thing off
your leg by tonight, we're going dancing.

1515
01:34:23,970 --> 01:34:25,801
Val!

1516
01:34:28,890 --> 01:34:32,007
Jeannie, I won't be in
for dinner tonight.

1517
01:34:32,170 --> 01:34:35,128
- You're going out again, dearie?
- I'm gonna pick up Lisa.

1518
01:34:35,290 --> 01:34:38,282
Oh, a fine example you're showing
to your family.

1519
01:34:38,450 --> 01:34:40,088
You mean Ernie's family.

1520
01:34:40,250 --> 01:34:43,526
Goodbye, Mama. Keep cooking, baby.

1521
01:34:44,930 --> 01:34:45,999
- Dan.
- Yeah?

1522
01:34:46,290 --> 01:34:48,884
I don't want to play mother-in-law...

1523
01:34:49,050 --> 01:34:52,679
...but why don't you stop this farce
and go home?

1524
01:34:53,330 --> 01:34:55,446
Jeannie, I'm not an unreasonable man.

1525
01:34:55,610 --> 01:34:57,919
If Val would come to me,
I might listen to reason.

1526
01:34:58,450 --> 01:35:00,202
Val is a MacPherson.

1527
01:35:00,370 --> 01:35:03,009
And the MacPhersons
never come crawling.

1528
01:35:09,130 --> 01:35:11,564
A baby? But that's impossible.

1529
01:35:11,730 --> 01:35:12,958
I'm not married.

1530
01:35:13,130 --> 01:35:17,442
Well, what I mean is
I am married, but to the wrong man.

1531
01:35:23,850 --> 01:35:25,806
Anyone home?

1532
01:35:38,570 --> 01:35:40,401
Oh, hello, Lisa.

1533
01:35:40,570 --> 01:35:42,003
I didn't know Tracy was here.

1534
01:35:42,530 --> 01:35:43,599
She isn't.

1535
01:35:43,770 --> 01:35:48,161
Dan and l... I mean, Mr. Edwards and I
don't need a chaperone.

1536
01:35:48,330 --> 01:35:50,161
A chaperone?

1537
01:35:50,330 --> 01:35:52,480
I guess the wife is always
the last to know.

1538
01:35:53,290 --> 01:35:56,839
Well, I am an ex-wife,
but I'd still like to know, whatever it is.

1539
01:35:57,730 --> 01:35:59,925
You divorced him, so it's open season.

1540
01:36:00,290 --> 01:36:02,008
And I think he's quite a man.

1541
01:36:02,170 --> 01:36:05,082
- But you're barely older than...
- Nevertheless.

1542
01:36:05,250 --> 01:36:07,320
My age doesn't bother Dan.

1543
01:36:07,490 --> 01:36:09,526
It wouldn't at his age.

1544
01:36:13,530 --> 01:36:15,202
I'm so glad you came over.

1545
01:36:15,370 --> 01:36:18,282
I think it's time we had
a woman-to-woman talk.

1546
01:36:18,450 --> 01:36:19,485
Woman-to-woman?

1547
01:36:20,050 --> 01:36:24,248
Well, I know you think of me as a child,
but my feelings for Mr. Edwards...

1548
01:36:24,410 --> 01:36:26,287
I hope I'm not being indelicate.

1549
01:36:26,450 --> 01:36:28,964
You are, but go on.

1550
01:36:29,130 --> 01:36:31,439
Well, Tracy understands
about her father and me.

1551
01:36:32,170 --> 01:36:35,287
Well, I hardly think
she's a qualified matchmaker...

1552
01:36:35,450 --> 01:36:38,283
...considering five years ago
she was in the Girl Scouts.

1553
01:36:38,450 --> 01:36:41,999
- Mrs. Brewer.
- I am not Mrs. Brewer.

1554
01:36:42,370 --> 01:36:43,689
Oh, yes, I am.

1555
01:36:44,970 --> 01:36:48,007
After 19 years of marriage...

1556
01:36:48,170 --> 01:36:51,367
...I'm sure there's a lot
you could tell me about Dan.

1557
01:36:53,410 --> 01:36:56,686
Yes, I'd be delighted.

1558
01:36:57,450 --> 01:36:59,805
Well, now, let's see.

1559
01:36:59,970 --> 01:37:02,404
You know, of course,
about his bad back.

1560
01:37:02,570 --> 01:37:07,007
- No.
- Oh, yes. It was on his 40th birthday.

1561
01:37:07,170 --> 01:37:10,401
He was dancing with Tracy
and flipped a vertebra in his back.

1562
01:37:10,570 --> 01:37:14,483
Well, that together with his trick knee
and the pinched nerve in his neck...

1563
01:37:14,650 --> 01:37:17,005
...it just drives him crazy sometimes.

1564
01:37:17,970 --> 01:37:19,289
He never told me about that.

1565
01:37:19,970 --> 01:37:23,758
I guess the young girlfriend
is always the last to know.

1566
01:37:24,850 --> 01:37:28,729
Oh, and do put out his bifocals.
He loves to read in bed.

1567
01:37:29,170 --> 01:37:30,444
He reads in bed?

1568
01:37:31,450 --> 01:37:35,602
Dan always said that one of
the greatest pleasures he ever had...

1569
01:37:35,770 --> 01:37:38,728
...was to slip in
between clean sheets...

1570
01:37:38,890 --> 01:37:43,361
...sip hot milk, prop himself on a pillow
and read a good book.

1571
01:37:46,290 --> 01:37:48,520
Were you thinking of having children?

1572
01:37:48,930 --> 01:37:50,283
Well, I'd hoped so.

1573
01:37:50,850 --> 01:37:52,841
Oh, no problems, my dear.

1574
01:37:53,010 --> 01:37:58,721
A man of Mr. Edwards' influence knows
any number of good adoption agencies.

1575
01:37:58,890 --> 01:38:01,688
Well, now I think that should cover it.

1576
01:38:04,730 --> 01:38:06,686
- Mrs. Brewer.
- Yes?

1577
01:38:07,330 --> 01:38:09,127
You'll come to the wedding,
won't you?

1578
01:38:10,450 --> 01:38:11,849
Of course, my dear.

1579
01:38:12,010 --> 01:38:14,444
And I have
the perfect wedding present.

1580
01:38:14,610 --> 01:38:18,523
A crib for you
and an oxygen tent for Dan.

1581
01:38:26,010 --> 01:38:29,286
We'll stay a couple of minutes
because I gotta work in the morning.

1582
01:38:29,450 --> 01:38:32,408
Oh, Ernie, you used to be
the life of the party.

1583
01:38:32,570 --> 01:38:35,801
- And you used to dance all night.
- Now my feet are killing me.

1584
01:38:35,970 --> 01:38:38,768
Interesting how marriage
destroys feet.

1585
01:38:39,050 --> 01:38:42,929
Evening. Two? Right this way, please.

1586
01:38:49,330 --> 01:38:51,286
Two Scotch and soda, coming up.

1587
01:39:00,650 --> 01:39:02,925
Ernie, I want to go home.
I don't feel very well.

1588
01:39:03,090 --> 01:39:07,208
- We didn't have a drink yet. Just one...
- Ernie, I want to go home.

1589
01:39:24,250 --> 01:39:27,526
- Dan. What a pleasant surprise.
- Hi, Val.

1590
01:39:27,690 --> 01:39:30,887
I didn't know you were in the
neighborhood. Besides, it's not Sunday.

1591
01:39:31,050 --> 01:39:34,326
Oh, I thought I'd take David for a drive,
it being a holiday.

1592
01:39:34,490 --> 01:39:36,526
We don't see much of you, Dan.

1593
01:39:36,690 --> 01:39:38,487
I've been busy doing things,
you know.

1594
01:39:38,650 --> 01:39:41,767
- At the Cafe A-Go-Go?
- Mom, make Dad stay for dinner.

1595
01:39:42,290 --> 01:39:44,724
It's a marvelous idea.
I have everything you love.

1596
01:39:45,770 --> 01:39:49,729
I'd like to, but your mother's cooking and
I don't think I should leave her alone.

1597
01:39:49,890 --> 01:39:53,599
Now, I can't let you eat alone
with Mother on Thanksgiving Day.

1598
01:39:54,650 --> 01:39:58,484
Well, we're not, not exactly alone.
You see, Lisa may come by.

1599
01:39:58,650 --> 01:40:00,368
Lisa.

1600
01:40:00,650 --> 01:40:02,049
Come on, David, out.

1601
01:40:02,210 --> 01:40:05,919
If your father doesn't want to stay
with his family, we will not beg.

1602
01:40:13,610 --> 01:40:16,522
- Hi, Daddy.
- Oh, hi, pumpkin.

1603
01:40:16,890 --> 01:40:17,879
What is that?

1604
01:40:18,050 --> 01:40:19,722
Jim designed it himself.

1605
01:40:19,890 --> 01:40:21,005
Sure, he did. Yeah.

1606
01:40:21,170 --> 01:40:22,603
Are you having dinner with us?

1607
01:40:23,050 --> 01:40:24,642
No. I'm gonna have it at the beach.

1608
01:40:24,810 --> 01:40:27,563
- Didn't Mother invite you?
- Yes, she did, baby.

1609
01:40:27,730 --> 01:40:31,200
Well, I gotta go, I got things to do.
Bye-bye, pumpkin.

1610
01:40:40,330 --> 01:40:44,039
- I don't think you're doing that right.
- You're the man in the house.

1611
01:40:44,210 --> 01:40:46,405
- Why don't you carve?
- I don't know how.

1612
01:40:46,570 --> 01:40:48,526
Mr. Edwards used to carve beautifully.

1613
01:40:51,690 --> 01:40:55,319
- Where's David?
- Oh, over at Dan's.

1614
01:40:55,490 --> 01:40:57,640
- You let him go?
- I locked him in his room...

1615
01:40:57,810 --> 01:40:59,960
...but he climbed out the window.

1616
01:41:02,690 --> 01:41:04,203
Mother.

1617
01:41:05,770 --> 01:41:08,682
I'm going to live with Jim
on the campus.

1618
01:41:09,170 --> 01:41:11,809
Oh, you... You mean
you're going to get married?

1619
01:41:11,970 --> 01:41:16,760
- No. We're just going to live there.
- Yes, marriage is passé.

1620
01:41:17,490 --> 01:41:21,085
Now, how did you two arrive
at this interesting observation?

1621
01:41:21,250 --> 01:41:23,639
Yes, explain yourselves.

1622
01:41:23,810 --> 01:41:26,927
Well, you and Daddy
are perfect examples.

1623
01:41:27,090 --> 01:41:30,127
Nineteen years of marriage,
shot in one night in Mexico.

1624
01:41:30,890 --> 01:41:35,088
Tracy, that was my fault. I've been
kidding your mother all these years...

1625
01:41:35,250 --> 01:41:37,559
...making her believe
that I still loved her.

1626
01:41:37,730 --> 01:41:39,960
- Come on, Jim.
- Well, where are you going?

1627
01:41:40,130 --> 01:41:43,042
We're going to Malibu
to have dinner with my father.

1628
01:41:47,770 --> 01:41:50,125
Well, that leaves just you and me.

1629
01:41:51,410 --> 01:41:53,082
That's right.

1630
01:41:53,490 --> 01:41:56,084
Val, why don't we go over to Dan's?

1631
01:41:56,250 --> 01:41:57,365
No, I don't want to go.

1632
01:41:57,530 --> 01:42:00,681
We certainly don't need an invitation.
It's still my house.

1633
01:42:00,850 --> 01:42:05,162
- Oh, he invited us. I refused.
- You didn't tell me.

1634
01:42:06,250 --> 01:42:08,161
Well, I didn't think it concerned you.

1635
01:42:12,450 --> 01:42:13,963
Coming?

1636
01:42:14,330 --> 01:42:16,480
No. You go.

1637
01:42:16,970 --> 01:42:21,998
This is my house and I belong here,
with or without family.

1638
01:42:23,730 --> 01:42:25,561
No hard feelings?

1639
01:42:25,730 --> 01:42:27,846
No hard feelings.

1640
01:42:36,650 --> 01:42:38,686
- There you go, Ernie.
- Oh, yeah.

1641
01:42:38,850 --> 01:42:42,047
Dan, you carve
like a professional surgeon.

1642
01:42:42,210 --> 01:42:44,963
In college,
Dad was on the fencing team.

1643
01:42:45,410 --> 01:42:47,002
He's a genius.

1644
01:42:47,170 --> 01:42:49,764
I might've lost
a sporting goods store...

1645
01:42:49,930 --> 01:42:51,682
...but I gained a father.

1646
01:42:51,850 --> 01:42:55,206
This is the nicest Thanksgiving
I've had in a long time.

1647
01:42:55,370 --> 01:42:56,598
It's so family-like.

1648
01:42:57,250 --> 01:42:58,888
I wish Mother were here.

1649
01:42:59,970 --> 01:43:03,246
She's being punished
for what she did to your father.

1650
01:43:03,410 --> 01:43:06,243
- That's why she's alone.
- I asked Val to come.

1651
01:43:06,410 --> 01:43:08,719
Well, you know how stubborn she is.

1652
01:43:08,890 --> 01:43:10,482
The curse of the MacPhersons.

1653
01:43:11,650 --> 01:43:13,208
Jeannie.

1654
01:43:13,570 --> 01:43:15,925
- Uncle Ernie.
- Yes?

1655
01:43:16,090 --> 01:43:17,079
Good.

1656
01:43:17,290 --> 01:43:19,201
Take over for me, will you?

1657
01:43:19,370 --> 01:43:23,443
You can have corn. What do you want?
Corn or the cranberries. Corn?

1658
01:43:23,610 --> 01:43:24,929
There.

1659
01:44:04,210 --> 01:44:06,929
From now on, it's just you and me
and the two kids.

1660
01:44:07,090 --> 01:44:08,808
Three.

1661
01:44:10,410 --> 01:44:12,128
Three?

1662
01:44:13,450 --> 01:44:15,122
Mexico?

1663
01:44:17,090 --> 01:44:21,402
Well, if you're gonna have a baby,
I guess I'd better get married.

1664
01:44:50,370 --> 01:44:52,361
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

1665
01:44:52,530 --> 01:44:54,521
[ENGLISH]