1
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<I>union station, los angeles.</I>

2
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:52,112
Welcome to los angeles.

3
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:54,413
There's always room
for one more.

4
00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:57,420
<I>♪ one, two, three! ♪</I>

5
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,148
<I>♪ good love ♪</i>

6
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,423
<I>♪ good love ♪</i>

7
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,151
Taxi!

8
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,786
<I>♪ good love ♪</i>

9
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,421
<I>♪ good love ♪</i>

10
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:08,356
<I>hey, dude!</I>

11
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:13,572
- <I>♪ I was feelin' so bad ♪</i>
- jump in, bud.

12
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:17,497
<I>♪ I asked my family doctor</i>
<i>just what I had ♪</i>

13
00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:20,866
<I>♪ I said doctor</i>
<i>doctor ♪</i>

14
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:23,635
<I>♪ mr. M.d.</I>
<i>doctor ♪</i>

15
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:27,384
<I>♪ can you tell me</i>
<i>what's ailing me? ♪</I>

16
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,851
<I>♪ doctor ♪</i>

17
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:31,519
<I>♪ he said, "yeah,</i>
<i>yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" ♪</i>

18
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<I>♪ yeah, yeah,</i>
<i>yeah, yeah, yeah ♪</i>

19
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<I>♪ yes, indeed ♪</i>

20
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:38,256
<I>♪ all i, I really need ♪</i>

21
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,929
<I>♪ now, give me that</i>
<i>good, good love ♪</i>

22
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,458
<I>♪ good love ♪</i>

23
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:43,633
<I>♪ all I need is love ♪</i>

24
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:44,701
<I>♪ good love ♪</i>

25
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<I>♪ good lovin', baby ♪</i>

26
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<I>♪ good love ♪</i>

27
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<I>♪ ow! ♪</I>

28
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<I>that'll be $80, please.</I>
- <i>$80?</I>

29
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,487
<I>well, you said you wanted</i>
<i>the scenic route.</I>

30
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,759
<I>you sure this is</i>
<i>the right entrance?</I>

31
00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:18,233
You bet.

32
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:20,472
- <I>have a nice trip.</I>
- yeah.

33
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,405
Bye.
Have a good time.

34
00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:32,642
- Uh...
- <I>have fun!</I>

35
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:35,446
Hey, my things!

36
00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,502
Skip?

37
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,903
Skip?

38
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:07,512
"Dear ed, l.a.
Is for you, dude.

39
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,754
Awesome surprise waiting
for you in the fridge."

40
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,620
Hmm.

41
00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:15,916
"Surprise inside."

42
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:21,392
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah!

43
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,385
Stop it.

44
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,526
I got you.

45
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,460
- I got you!
- You did not.

46
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:26,466
- I did, too.
- No, you didn't.

47
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,467
It's good
to see you, eddie!

48
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,869
How you doin'?

49
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,700
What took you so long?
I could have died in there.

50
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,866
Oh, man,
you are so crazy.

51
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,475
What if the door
got stuck?

52
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:38,877
Well, life is a series
of risks, man,

53
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,849
And you have taken
the ultimate risk

54
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:43,278
By coming out here
to live with me, dude.

55
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,384
Look at your clothes.

56
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,716
What is this "dude" stuff?

57
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,550
You're from ohio.
Come on.

58
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:49,685
Not anymore.

59
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:50,720
Not anymore.

60
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,624
Come on.

61
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,926
So, you see, I scammed
my way into house-sitting

62
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,798
For this big advertising
agency, right?

63
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,628
What do you think, man?

64
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,073
I think it's great.

65
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,598
Wow.

66
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,643
So, you got dumped, huh?

67
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,609
I don't know how
it happened, you know?

68
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:13,980
I mean, I'm in my tuxedo,
I'm on my way to the wedding,

69
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:17,321
And then I find out that joanie
eloped with paul bodine.

70
00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:22,485
- He was your best man.
- Yeah.

71
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,919
Listen, there's no
problem here, buddy,

72
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:28,355
Because <i>mi casa</i>
<i>esesses you casa.</I>

73
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,002
What?

74
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,597
I don't know,
but my house is your house, all right?

75
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,899
All right, look,
I bet you need help finding a job.

76
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,473
You know what
I'm living off now?

77
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,641
The money I got back
from the wedding caterers.

78
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:44,540
Well, I have you a job

79
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,945
With one of l.a.'S
hottest ad agencies.

80
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,477
Are you serious?

81
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,882
Vidiocity.

82
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,123
Wait, are you kidding?
You got me a job?

83
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:55,719
- Scab, thank you.
- Don't worry about it.

84
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,393
Look, as soon as you
take care of this stuff,

85
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,121
We're going to set you
loose on about a billion

86
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,726
Or so women that are
just dying to meet you.

87
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,528
How did you...

88
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,859
Whoa.

89
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:07,434
Skip, there's a naked girl
in your backyard.

90
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,744
- <I>that's mamegama.</I>
- <i>what?</I>

91
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,997
<I>bush, man!</I>
<i>that's irene. Wave.</I>

92
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,935
<I>oh.</I>

93
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,911
Hi.

94
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:19,679
See, the ad agency lets this
photographer do this every morning.

95
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,680
He does these layouts every
single-- is this going to bother you?

96
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:22,582
- Huh?
- Huh?

97
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:23,823
I don't believe this.

98
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,147
Eddie. Eddie. Eddie.
Eddie, look at me now.

99
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,993
I know you've been through
this serious trauma. All right?

100
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,689
I mean, I was dumped
by a chick once.

101
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,661
Well, maybe not, but...

102
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:35,159
Look, if anybody can make
you forget about joanie,

103
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,762
I can. All right?

104
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:39,064
Come on. I want
to show you something.

105
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,609
<I>eddie, down boy.</I>
<i>come on.</I>

106
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,710
<I>whoa.</I>

107
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:53,713
Nice car, huh?

108
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:58,124
You see, eddie, in this town,
your car is everything, right?

109
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,988
You don't have a car,
you don't have a dick.

110
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:04,058
Now, since this is
your first car in l.a.,

111
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:07,087
We're going to start
you out with a small dick.

112
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,034
Ta-da.

113
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,199
Wow.

114
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,128
Here you go. Key.

115
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,803
- This is mine?
- Yep.

116
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,803
These go with it.

117
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,736
Skip.

118
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,442
On your way,
why don't you stop off,

119
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,914
Check the oil,
give her some gas.

120
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,712
You gotta take care
of your dick.

121
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:30,854
I think I might
like living in l.a.

122
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,551
Who knows?

123
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,857
<I>vidiocity, one moment.</I>

124
00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:17,156
Vidiocity, one moment.

125
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,728
May I help you?

126
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,796
My name is eddie hayes.
I'm here to see peter newcomb?

127
00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:29,913
There's a mr. Hayes
to see you.

128
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,780
Well, I don't know.

129
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:33,949
What's it about?

130
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,107
A job interview.

131
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,645
He's says it's
a job interview.

132
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:41,222
Mm-hmm.

133
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:45,162
It's the last door
on the right.

134
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:48,958
Thank you.

135
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,609
Well, I don't give a fuck
if he is in palm springs,

136
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,779
Nobody shoots shit unless the
prick shows his ass to me in person.

137
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,577
Well, fuck him!
Bury him!

138
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,022
He'll never work
in this town again.

139
00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:11,777
<I>fine, fine.</I>

140
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,075
Louisa?

141
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,686
My wife calls,
I'm on the phone,

142
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:17,758
And hold my calls
for 15 seconds.

143
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:22,088
So... What's this
about a job?

144
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,255
Hi, I'm ed hayes.

145
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:26,103
My roommate skip dooley
called you about me?

146
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,069
Dooley?

147
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,698
Oh, yeah.

148
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,773
The kid who housesits for the
head of our london office.

149
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:32,972
That's right.

150
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,043
Got a resume?

151
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:40,012
<I>i'm having new ones</i>
<i>printed up.</I>

152
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:44,123
What makes you think you can
break into the california market?

153
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,147
Well, I have a b.a.
In communications,

154
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:49,923
I'm dependable,
I can really handle responsibility,

155
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,793
And I like working
with other people.

156
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,122
Really?

157
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,656
I don't see any
previous experience here.

158
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,832
Yeah, well, I had
a cable access show

159
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,661
Called "proud
to be a buckeye."

160
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,196
I have lots of tapes.

161
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,871
I could send you
a sample if--

162
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:06,369
Look, kid, I hate
to pop your weasel,

163
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:08,213
But we only hire
heavyweight people

164
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,938
With credits
in this town.

165
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,743
You might as well
apply back in--

166
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:12,805
Akron.

167
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,883
To be perfectly
honest with you,

168
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,881
I'm kind
of low on funds,

169
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,183
And I'm willing
to start anywhere.

170
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,715
I'll sweep up, I'll
answer the phones.

171
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:20,920
What?

172
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,151
No.

173
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,855
Tell him I'm not in.

174
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:26,657
Well, lock the door.

175
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,357
<I>how could you?</I>

176
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:30,963
In my own house,
in my own bed.

177
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,964
What am I to you,
a pimp?

178
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,900
I'm with a client.

179
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,243
Well, excuse me,
but how would you like to come home

180
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:40,739
And find the gardener
tied to your bed?

181
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,112
You left grass stains.

182
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:46,410
You are such a child.

183
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,013
Child?
You're the child.

184
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:51,045
- <I>you're the child.</I>
- <i>no, you're the child.</I>

185
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,891
- No, you're the child.
- No, you're the child.

186
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,917
- This is mine.
- No, that's mine.

187
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:56,992
- I'm taking it.
- It's mine.

188
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,890
<I>it's mine!</I>

189
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,292
Give me that.

190
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,963
Now look what you've done.

191
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,971
And don't come over till
you've made this up to me.

192
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,338
Did I come
at a bad time?

193
00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:19,041
What kind of a job
were you looking for?

194
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:21,006
My brother needs some
help in advertising

195
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,884
Down at the beach. Ahem.

196
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:25,123
- When can you start?
- Immediately.

197
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,148
Good.

198
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:30,324
And I'd prefer it if you
didn't mention...

199
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,893
You know.

200
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:34,892
Me? Mention?
No, I didn't see anything.

201
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,955
Thank you very much.

202
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:39,804
Welcome aboard.

203
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,170
- All right.
- Yeah.

204
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:53,041
♪ Invaders coming in
from another planet ♪

205
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:58,046
♪ Invaders coming in
from another world ♪

206
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:02,721
♪ Come in and look
for me on your planet ♪

207
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:06,393
♪ Invaders coming in
from another world ♪

208
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:12,726
What you are is what you
get in hollywood.

209
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:13,903
All right.

210
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:17,140
Love will come.

211
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,050
Did you see that guy?

212
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,080
<I>what a weirdo.</I>

213
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,320
Who's a weirdo?

214
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,823
That guy.

215
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,860
Um, never mind.

216
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,033
Listen, I'm looking
for a guy named tony.

217
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,231
Do you know him?

218
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,973
Guy named tony?

219
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,469
Yeah, guy named tony.
Do you know him?

220
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:56,942
Hey, look, if you don't know who the guy is,
just say so, okay?

221
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,013
You like your finger?

222
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,411
Don't ever point
your finger at tony.

223
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:02,412
<I>tony don't like fingers</i>
<i>pointed at him.</I>

224
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,445
Wait a minute.
You're tony?

225
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:08,021
Listen, why didn't you just
say so in the first place?

226
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,261
Why didn't you just say
so in the first place?

227
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,417
I don't believe this.

228
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,085
Your brother
sent me down here.

229
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,794
He said that you had
a job for me.

230
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,426
Do you have a job
for me or not?

231
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,160
Oh, my brother.

232
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:23,429
Here.

233
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:27,106
Hand these out to people
on the beach.

234
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,137
Wait a minute.

235
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,412
The job is handing
flyers out on the beach?

236
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:34,111
The job is handing
flyers out on the beach?

237
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:35,284
Oh, man.

238
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:37,852
This is great.

239
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:40,051
Well, take it
or leave it.

240
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:43,563
Well, I'm going
to take it, you know.

241
00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:46,187
<I>i'm going to need the money,</i>
<i>but... I don't know.</I>

242
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,133
<I>you just had me going there,</i>
<i>you know, in the beginning.</I>

243
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,158
Anyway, I think if we're
going to work together,

244
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,203
We should be friends.
My name is eddie. Hi.

245
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,244
Friends?

246
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,135
I'll tell you
what a friend is.

247
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,312
A friend is a guy who leaves
you bleeding in the ditch

248
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:05,881
With bullets screaming
over your head.

249
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:12,548
Yeah. Yeah, that's what
a friend is, eddie.

250
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:21,557
Yeah, I'm working with
a guy who lives in a box.

251
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,331
<I>sure.</I>

252
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,503
Hi.

253
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,202
Thank you.

254
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,035
How you doin'?

255
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,910
Hi.

256
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:38,009
They have boogie boards
and skateboards

257
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,241
And everything like that.

258
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,876
Oh!

259
00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:42,081
God!

260
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,145
Thank you very much.

261
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,224
You're welcome.

262
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:53,463
Listen, do you have
a girlfriend?

263
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:56,657
Do I know you?

264
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,663
No, it's just that you look
like you could use a date.

265
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,096
Here's my card.

266
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:06,042
Video valentine
dating service?

267
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,169
Thanks a lot.

268
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:08,413
Well, you never know.

269
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,408
It's hard to meet new people
in this town.

270
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:14,077
Cute guy like you.

271
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:19,121
Anyway, it's a money
back guarantee.

272
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:23,286
- How you doin'?
- Yeah.

273
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:27,933
Yeah, well, I'll think
about it, all right?

274
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,628
Okay.

275
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,365
- Eddie.
- Skip.

276
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,368
Yeah.

277
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,639
Hi.

278
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:40,067
You're just the guy
I need to see.

279
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,643
I need to talk to
you, okay?

280
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,141
Why don't you two
go get something to eat?

281
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,483
I gave you some money,
right?

282
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:47,207
I'll catch up with you
in a few minutes.

283
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,283
Who are they?

284
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,052
- Friends?
- Just some friends.

285
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:52,181
So, what's wrong?

286
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,515
Skip.

287
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:58,691
What is all this stuff
about a job in advertising?

288
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:00,992
You know what
the job is? Huh?

289
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,704
I'm handing out flyers
on the beach.

290
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:05,197
You got to start somewhere.

291
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:08,468
No. No. This is not a start,
this is ridiculous.

292
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,698
Look, eddie,
I know you majored in advertising in college,

293
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:15,265
But see, this is a very
tough town to get a start in.

294
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:18,305
- Now, what are these?
- Flyers.

295
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,281
No, eddie.

296
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:23,209
These are little
stepping stones.

297
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,346
You're going to make
contacts with these.

298
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:26,752
These are your future, eddie.

299
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:29,623
I think the smog
went to your brain.

300
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,322
Eddie...

301
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,364
L.a. Is not reality.

302
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,660
You see, it's just
a state of mind.

303
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,102
The only way to be
successful in this town

304
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,228
Is to pretend to be
somebody else. Right?

305
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:43,103
You make them think you're successful
and then you are successful.

306
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,703
It's selling
the fantasy, eddie.

307
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:48,709
It's like style
over substance.

308
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,438
That's all it is.

309
00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:03,047
Hey!

310
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:06,056
<I>there's flyers</i>
<i>to be flown!</I>

311
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,489
Hey, tony!

312
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:10,364
Hey, yourself.

313
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,560
This guy is very strange.

314
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:16,096
You know,
I heard he was this mind sweeper in granada.

315
00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:17,642
Whatever you do man,
don't point at him.

316
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:20,367
I know. I already
found that out.

317
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:25,412
Oh, eddie.
Eddie, come here.

318
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:29,352
Girls, this is my very
cool cousin, eddie.

319
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,649
- Hi.
- Hi.

320
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,320
He owns this building
right here.

321
00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:33,378
- Ohh.
- Yeah.

322
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,346
Excuse us.
Excuse us.

323
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:38,385
Now, eddie, look,
the business at hand

324
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,261
Is for you to go out and
find yourself a chick, right?

325
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,061
I mean, look,
you were engaged for about 3 months,

326
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,433
You're probably tired of slapping
the old puppy around, huh?

327
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,673
- I got to go.
- Look, eddie. Eddie.

328
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:52,438
I want you to beef her,
and I want you to make her beg for more.

329
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,839
- You are so sick.
- I know.

330
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:56,842
God.

331
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:05,451
<I>♪ ow ♪</i>

332
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:13,761
Hi.

333
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,460
Hi.

334
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:16,492
You live here?

335
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,356
Uh-huh.

336
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:19,564
- Really?
- Yeah.

337
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:23,766
- I just moved here.
- Oh, yeah? Where from?

338
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,240
Ohio.

339
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,668
Oh, really?

340
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:29,413
I'm from ohio.
Whereabouts?

341
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:30,409
Akron.

342
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:35,309
What?

343
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,545
Oh, nothing.

344
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,879
Well, seeing
that I'm from ohio

345
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,486
And that you're from ohio
and that I'm new here,

346
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,589
You think maybe we could
get together sometime,

347
00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:47,391
- You could show me around?
- You got to be kidding.

348
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:52,403
The reason I moved here is to
get away from guys from ohio.

349
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:54,328
<I>♪ tell me what's the word,</i>
<i>word up ♪</i>

350
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,804
<I>♪ everybody say... ♪</I>

351
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,373
You like to skate?

352
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:01,171
No.

353
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,574
I like to skate.

354
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,475
Good.

355
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,251
Oh, I love that book.

356
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,808
It's the greatest book.
You like it?

357
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,446
Yeah, it's good.

358
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:14,421
You know,
I cried when the son got killed at the end.

359
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,520
Thanks.

360
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,620
Thanks a lot.

361
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,626
<I>i am so sorry.</I>

362
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:26,829
Oh, I hate
when people do that.

363
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,873
<I>♪ we can use it,</i>
<i>we need to dance ♪</i>

364
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:33,168
<I>♪ we don't have the time</i>
<i>for psychological romance ♪</i>

365
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,943
<I>♪ no romance,</i>
<i>no romance... ♪</I>

366
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:37,811
Hi.

367
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,680
I love the ocean.

368
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,949
You know,
it reminds me of pirates and adventure.

369
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:46,879
- What does it remind you of?
- Toxic pollution.

370
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:50,487
You ever see a sperm whale
beach itself?

371
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,520
No.

372
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,500
Okay, that's nice,
right in there.

373
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,973
Okay. Great. Okay, catherine,
hop onto brian's knee.

374
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:08,612
Yes, lean on his knee.

375
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,368
That's good. Run your
fingers through his hair.

376
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:11,976
Okay.

377
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,416
- How you doin'?
- Hi.

378
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,588
- Edward hayes?
- Yes.

379
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:21,817
Got a package for you.

380
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,651
Thanks.

381
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:24,656
Just sign here.

382
00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:25,887
Sure.

383
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:31,364
Oh, by the way, would
you be interested

384
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,534
In signing our petition
for world peace?

385
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:36,273
Yeah, sure.

386
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:41,340
That's a $10 donation.

387
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:43,911
Really?

388
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,406
No, thanks.

389
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,314
What do you mean
no thanks?

390
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:53,546
You don't get peace
without work, pal!

391
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,593
Skip!

392
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:59,388
It's people like you that make it
tough for the rest of the world!

393
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:02,562
It's jerks like you
that go spouting love

394
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:06,302
And freedom when you
don't want to pay for it!

395
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:08,899
World peace, you asshole!

396
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:16,009
Watch it, buddy!

397
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:39,700
<I>is it on? Is it on?</I>

398
00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:40,699
I think so.

399
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,630
Well, come on.

400
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:43,525
Can you hear us, honey?

401
00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,036
Eddie?
Can you hear us?

402
00:21:45,038 --> 00:21:47,038
- He can hear us.
- Hi, honey.

403
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,070
Mace, he can see us,
too, all right?

404
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:49,914
Now, you're in the way.

405
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:52,639
We don't want you
to live out there.

406
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,045
We want you to come home
where you belong.

407
00:21:55,048 --> 00:21:57,078
Oh, may.
Shut up. Shut up.

408
00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,583
You shut up.

409
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:01,454
Look, ed...

410
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:03,024
Now we got
to talk, all right?

411
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:05,562
Now, we understand

412
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:09,558
How difficult it's been
since joanie dumped you,

413
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:14,572
But it's no reason for you
to throw away your life,

414
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:15,897
To move
to california.

415
00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:18,372
You got to settle down.

416
00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:20,571
You got
to get a real job.

417
00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:21,913
<I>okay?</I>

418
00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:25,038
It--it--it-- it's not your fault she left you, dear.

419
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:28,014
She was never good
enough for you anyway.

420
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:30,654
Mace, mace, mace.

421
00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:33,480
Never step in front of me.

422
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:36,786
Now, when I tell you to pack up your
bags and come home, you do it.

423
00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:38,859
Do you hear what
I'm saying to you?

424
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:42,358
Now, california is not
a place for a man--

425
00:22:45,564 --> 00:22:48,604
But look, I never forgot
the one thing.

426
00:22:48,601 --> 00:22:51,971
The one thing, and that
is responsibility to my--

427
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:54,371
Mace. Please, mace.

428
00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:58,114
Son, this is
a warning to you now,

429
00:22:58,111 --> 00:23:00,511
And it's the last one
I'm giving to you.

430
00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:02,713
You get on a plane,
and you come home.

431
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,545
<I>mom!</I>

432
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:05,880
What am I saying?

433
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:08,615
I'm talking
to a television set.

434
00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:11,561
You see what
you do to me?

435
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:14,631
<I>vidiocity, one moment.</I>

436
00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:18,025
Hi.

437
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:20,500
<I>ed hayes.</I>
<i>i'm here to pick up my check.</I>

438
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,630
<I>wait, wait.</I>

439
00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:25,765
Before you call, let me
ask you a question, okay?

440
00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:28,972
If a guy like me were to ask you out,
would you say yes?

441
00:23:28,975 --> 00:23:30,635
Well, I don't know.

442
00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:31,783
You haven't
asked me out.

443
00:23:31,778 --> 00:23:32,978
Oh.

444
00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:33,979
Okay.

445
00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:35,610
Would you go out with me?

446
00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:37,175
No.

447
00:23:37,183 --> 00:23:41,493
Really? I'm going
to go pick up my check.

448
00:23:41,487 --> 00:23:44,487
I understand, forehead,
you're an artist.

449
00:23:44,490 --> 00:23:47,090
But, this isn't show art,
it's show business.

450
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:49,193
Fuck you, too.

451
00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:50,795
Your check's down there.

452
00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:04,784
So, how's life at the beach
with my crazy brother?

453
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:06,537
Crazier than ever.

454
00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:08,476
Look, when can I talk to
you about a promotion?

455
00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:13,551
You're going to have to wait
a little bit longer, ed.

456
00:24:13,553 --> 00:24:15,753
I'm afraid you
haven't quite got

457
00:24:15,755 --> 00:24:17,685
Into the california
spirit yet--

458
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:20,520
The way we do
things out here.

459
00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:21,726
Oh, yeah?

460
00:24:21,727 --> 00:24:23,187
How long is that
going to take?

461
00:24:23,196 --> 00:24:26,596
Well, that depends
on you, doesn't it?

462
00:24:26,599 --> 00:24:30,069
Look, a couple of more months
and I'll get you on the books,

463
00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:34,069
And then we'll see if we can't
get you in here somehow.

464
00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:37,743
Until then, chill out.

465
00:24:47,185 --> 00:24:49,585
Hello, my name's abigail,

466
00:24:49,589 --> 00:24:51,789
And I like camping,
long walks on the beach--

467
00:24:51,791 --> 00:24:53,261
Excuse me, are you
talking to me?

468
00:24:53,259 --> 00:24:54,829
No.

469
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:56,787
Long walks on the beach,

470
00:24:56,796 --> 00:24:59,796
And I don't
eat red meat.

471
00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:03,069
Hello, my name is abigail,
and I like camping,

472
00:25:03,069 --> 00:25:05,539
Long walks on the beach,
healthy--

473
00:25:07,806 --> 00:25:09,766
<I>hello,</i>
<i>my name is abigail,</i>

474
00:25:09,775 --> 00:25:11,875
<I>and I like camping, long</i>
<i>walks on the beach...</I>

475
00:25:13,913 --> 00:25:16,513
And I like camping,
long walks on the beach,

476
00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:19,546
Surfers,
and anything tubular.

477
00:25:40,138 --> 00:25:41,138
<I>hi.</I>

478
00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:42,670
Mr. Flyers.

479
00:25:42,675 --> 00:25:43,965
Took you long enough
to come in.

480
00:25:43,976 --> 00:25:45,136
Hi, I'm peggy kellogg.

481
00:25:45,144 --> 00:25:46,144
Hi, peggy.

482
00:25:46,145 --> 00:25:47,745
- Hi.
- Ed hayes.

483
00:25:47,747 --> 00:25:49,947
Now, I didn't actually come
in here to use the service.

484
00:25:49,949 --> 00:25:52,819
Yeah, all the guys
who come in here say that.

485
00:25:52,818 --> 00:25:55,688
So, how are you going
to find your perfect mate

486
00:25:55,688 --> 00:25:56,688
Unless you try, right?

487
00:25:56,689 --> 00:25:58,659
Yeah.

488
00:25:58,658 --> 00:26:00,158
What about you?

489
00:26:00,159 --> 00:26:02,759
Do you ever date guys
from the dating service?

490
00:26:02,762 --> 00:26:04,902
'Fraid it's against
the rules, sorry.

491
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:07,927
But we do have a girl here
for you, believe me.

492
00:26:07,934 --> 00:26:09,934
What kind
are you looking for?

493
00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:11,936
Uh, I don't know.

494
00:26:11,938 --> 00:26:13,338
Someone I could
settle down with.

495
00:26:13,339 --> 00:26:14,739
Maybe get married,
start a family.

496
00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:16,740
No, I mean what type.

497
00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:17,842
Tall? Short?

498
00:26:17,843 --> 00:26:18,983
Plump? Skinny?

499
00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:21,308
I don't know.
Normal, whatever.

500
00:26:21,314 --> 00:26:24,324
Normal... Hobbies?

501
00:26:24,317 --> 00:26:25,777
Bicycling?
Skiing?

502
00:26:25,785 --> 00:26:27,615
<I>scuba diving?</I>
<i>dancing?</I>

503
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:29,920
- Dancing.
- Dancing.

504
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:31,662
Okay.

505
00:26:31,657 --> 00:26:33,717
Here are a couple
sample tapes.

506
00:26:33,726 --> 00:26:35,686
Take a look at them and see if you
wanna make one for yourself.

507
00:26:35,695 --> 00:26:38,125
Listen, I just don't want
you to get the wrong idea.

508
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:39,730
It's not like I'm
desperate or anything.

509
00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:41,332
Who says you're desperate?

510
00:26:41,334 --> 00:26:43,104
<I>what have you got to lose?</I>

511
00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:44,872
No rejections.

512
00:26:44,870 --> 00:26:47,070
They call you and tell you
if they want a date.

513
00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:48,313
Okay.

514
00:26:48,307 --> 00:26:49,367
I'll look at it.

515
00:26:49,375 --> 00:26:50,605
Okay.

516
00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:51,810
Viewing room's over there.

517
00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:52,281
<I>okay.</I>

518
00:26:56,716 --> 00:27:01,786
And I work at a health agency so I'm very clean.

519
00:27:01,787 --> 00:27:04,687
Um, I'm just looking for
an all-american kind of guy.

520
00:27:04,690 --> 00:27:07,830
You know, like a doctor
or a lawyer.

521
00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:09,087
Um, my mother wants me
to get somebody

522
00:27:09,095 --> 00:27:11,695
Who makes over
$100,000 a year.

523
00:27:11,697 --> 00:27:13,157
<I>so, I'm very flexible.</I>

524
00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:15,095
I'm just looking
to fall in love.

525
00:27:15,101 --> 00:27:16,171
Hmm.

526
00:27:16,168 --> 00:27:18,698
Hi.

527
00:27:18,704 --> 00:27:20,374
Ahem.

528
00:27:20,373 --> 00:27:22,013
Hi.

529
00:27:22,008 --> 00:27:25,838
My name is louise
harland and, um...

530
00:27:25,845 --> 00:27:31,345
I'm in my early 20s
and, um, I have a job.

531
00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:33,880
I'm a legal secretary

532
00:27:33,886 --> 00:27:38,086
And, um, uh...

533
00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:40,360
I like men

534
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:45,929
And I like to go
to amusement parks.

535
00:27:45,931 --> 00:27:49,071
I really like it when the roller coasters go up and down

536
00:27:49,068 --> 00:27:50,868
And around and you scream

537
00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:52,000
<I>and you feel like</i>
<i>you're going to fall.</I>

538
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,240
<I>hello.</I>

539
00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:58,412
I'm a receptionist.

540
00:27:58,411 --> 00:27:59,981
Well, I was until yesterday.

541
00:27:59,979 --> 00:28:02,879
I got fire-- well, I
didn't really get fired.

542
00:28:02,882 --> 00:28:04,882
They kind of asked me
if I wanted to resign,

543
00:28:04,884 --> 00:28:06,854
But, um, I didn't
like it anyway.

544
00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:08,092
Well, anyway, I shouldn't
bring this into it.

545
00:28:08,087 --> 00:28:10,787
My mother always
says I can't finish--

546
00:28:10,790 --> 00:28:12,190
Well, forget about my mother.

547
00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:14,291
I'm looking for

548
00:28:14,293 --> 00:28:17,463
Somebody that will help me feel, um, fulfilled.

549
00:28:17,463 --> 00:28:20,103
Not that I need a man
to make me feel complete.

550
00:28:20,099 --> 00:28:24,439
But-- well, if you want
to meet me, that's--

551
00:28:24,437 --> 00:28:25,897
If you don't want to,
that's all right, too.

552
00:28:25,905 --> 00:28:27,465
Hmm.

553
00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:29,313
Are we in focus?

554
00:28:29,308 --> 00:28:30,908
Are we in focus?

555
00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:32,710
I don't think
we're in focus.

556
00:28:32,712 --> 00:28:33,882
Oh. Fine. There.

557
00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:37,079
Now, listen, hayes.

558
00:28:37,083 --> 00:28:39,053
All you do is talk
to the camera.

559
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:40,951
The camera
is your girlfriend.

560
00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:43,923
You want to impress
your girlfriend.

561
00:28:43,923 --> 00:28:44,923
You got it?

562
00:28:44,924 --> 00:28:46,064
Mm-hmm.

563
00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:48,858
Now, sit up straight
and get a date.

564
00:28:48,861 --> 00:28:51,761
Do I just talk
to the lens?

565
00:28:51,764 --> 00:28:53,104
You got it, babe.

566
00:28:53,099 --> 00:28:55,929
Eyes straight, a little
chest hair showing.

567
00:28:59,003 --> 00:29:02,243
And wipe that desperate
look off your face.

568
00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:04,741
You want a date,
so think sex.

569
00:29:04,744 --> 00:29:08,114
You're trying to get
picked up, not arrested.

570
00:29:08,114 --> 00:29:09,384
<I>okay.</I>

571
00:29:09,381 --> 00:29:12,051
Video valentine,
take one.

572
00:29:12,051 --> 00:29:13,951
Relax, kid, straighten up.

573
00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:17,053
Sex... And action.

574
00:29:17,056 --> 00:29:20,516
Hi. What-- I don't--

575
00:29:20,526 --> 00:29:22,086
You want them to think
you're a geek?

576
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:25,934
Tell them your name,
age, special interests.

577
00:29:25,931 --> 00:29:27,331
Okay, hi.

578
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:28,903
My name is eddie hayes.

579
00:29:28,901 --> 00:29:32,241
I'm 23 years old,
and I recently moved here from ohio.

580
00:29:32,238 --> 00:29:34,038
And I like to dance.

581
00:29:34,039 --> 00:29:35,309
I like to go
to the movies,

582
00:29:35,307 --> 00:29:38,407
And, as a matter of
fact, I'm a director.

583
00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:42,010
<I>i do all sorts</i>
<i>of commercials.</I>

584
00:29:42,014 --> 00:29:45,924
That's coming over the
hill and the heat's rising?

585
00:29:45,918 --> 00:29:47,418
That was mine.
I did that one.

586
00:29:47,419 --> 00:29:50,449
I guess what I'm really looking
for is an attractive girl.

587
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:54,086
Someone who's in the arts,
who enjoys dressing up,

588
00:29:54,093 --> 00:29:57,063
But also would like hot
dogs and french fries.

589
00:29:57,062 --> 00:29:58,962
Um, how am I doin'?

590
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:00,434
Oh, peachy.

591
00:30:00,432 --> 00:30:04,072
Cut, next.

592
00:30:05,905 --> 00:30:07,335
Hi, eddie, I saw your tape,

593
00:30:07,339 --> 00:30:09,939
And I think
you're really cute.

594
00:30:09,942 --> 00:30:12,242
Would you like
to go out with me?

595
00:30:12,244 --> 00:30:13,244
<I>♪ and you comb</i>
<i>your hair ♪</i>

596
00:30:13,245 --> 00:30:16,075
<I>♪ grab your coat and hat ♪</i>

597
00:30:17,382 --> 00:30:22,592
<I>♪ and you walk wet streets</i>
<i>trying to remember ♪</i>

598
00:30:24,355 --> 00:30:30,325
<I>♪ all the wild nights breezes</i>
<i>in your ever, ever ♪</i>

599
00:30:30,329 --> 00:30:34,569
<I>♪ and everything</i>
<i>is so complete ♪</i>

600
00:30:34,567 --> 00:30:38,067
<I>♪ when you're walking</i>
<i>out on the street ♪</i>

601
00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:40,240
<I>♪ and the wind catches</i>
<i>your feet ♪</i>

602
00:30:40,239 --> 00:30:45,079
<I>♪ sends you flyin', cryin' ♪</i>

603
00:30:45,077 --> 00:30:51,007
<I>♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, oohie ♪</i>

604
00:30:52,617 --> 00:30:56,947
<I>♪ a wild night is callin' ♪</i>

605
00:30:59,190 --> 00:31:05,130
<I>♪ ooh, ooh, ooh, oohie ♪</i>

606
00:31:11,603 --> 00:31:13,103
Eddie?

607
00:31:13,105 --> 00:31:14,095
Madonna?

608
00:31:14,106 --> 00:31:16,366
Yeah, well,
it's really glenda,

609
00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:20,435
But my friends call me madonna
because of the resemblance.

610
00:31:20,446 --> 00:31:22,206
Can't you tell?

611
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:27,224
Well, this is
my daddy over here.

612
00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:29,049
Daddy, this is edmund.

613
00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:31,324
He's the big movie director
I was telling you about

614
00:31:31,323 --> 00:31:34,093
And, um, maybe he has
a part for me.

615
00:31:34,093 --> 00:31:37,193
Well, now
I can't promise.

616
00:31:37,196 --> 00:31:38,556
Oh, that's the phone.

617
00:31:38,564 --> 00:31:40,164
I'll be right back. Okay?

618
00:31:40,165 --> 00:31:42,125
You just stay
right there, okay?

619
00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,134
Be right back.

620
00:31:44,136 --> 00:31:46,296
Okay.

621
00:31:49,641 --> 00:31:52,341
How you doing, sir?

622
00:31:55,613 --> 00:31:59,023
Your daughter seems
very nice.

623
00:32:01,319 --> 00:32:03,249
Sit down.

624
00:32:06,324 --> 00:32:09,934
I love my daughter
very much.

625
00:32:11,129 --> 00:32:14,669
I got two words
of advice for you.

626
00:32:14,667 --> 00:32:17,397
Be careful.

627
00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:21,340
You got raincoats?

628
00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:23,210
Raincoats?

629
00:32:23,208 --> 00:32:25,938
Profos,

630
00:32:25,945 --> 00:32:28,645
Dick wrappers,
condoms.

631
00:32:28,647 --> 00:32:31,107
It's our first date.

632
00:32:31,116 --> 00:32:34,686
Be careful you don't get
your birdie excited.

633
00:32:34,687 --> 00:32:37,317
My birdie?

634
00:32:37,323 --> 00:32:39,293
Your weenie...

635
00:32:39,291 --> 00:32:42,161
Your schmeckle,

636
00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:43,461
Your dick.

637
00:32:45,363 --> 00:32:48,273
Careful you don't get
your birdie excited

638
00:32:48,267 --> 00:32:50,197
And become a daddy.

639
00:32:50,202 --> 00:32:53,102
You ain't going anywhere
if you're a daddy.

640
00:32:53,105 --> 00:32:54,535
Nowhere but work.

641
00:32:54,540 --> 00:32:56,170
You like to work?

642
00:32:57,442 --> 00:32:59,512
I get up, I go to work.
I get up, I go to work.

643
00:32:59,511 --> 00:33:01,181
I get up, I go to work.
I get up, I go to work.

644
00:33:01,180 --> 00:33:03,450
Jesus!

645
00:33:03,449 --> 00:33:05,449
You got to keep bobbin'
and weavin'.

646
00:33:05,451 --> 00:33:07,051
Bobbin' and weavin'.
Bobbin' and weavin'.

647
00:33:07,052 --> 00:33:10,052
Bobbin' and weavin'
or life'll get ya.

648
00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:23,472
Use 'em.

649
00:33:24,402 --> 00:33:26,302
For a lot of reasons.

650
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,307
<I>you may think I'm nuts.</I>

651
00:33:31,310 --> 00:33:34,110
I ain't nuts.

652
00:33:34,113 --> 00:33:36,183
Life is nuts.

653
00:33:38,416 --> 00:33:40,476
Come on, eddie.

654
00:33:40,486 --> 00:33:42,346
Be careful.

655
00:33:44,389 --> 00:33:46,259
Come on, lets go.

656
00:33:49,227 --> 00:33:51,497
Um, okay.

657
00:33:52,597 --> 00:33:54,127
Ahem.

658
00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:55,133
I really enjoyed--

659
00:33:55,134 --> 00:33:56,134
<I>eddie.</I>

660
00:33:56,135 --> 00:34:01,135
- I enjoyed our chat.
- Fuck you.

661
00:34:03,141 --> 00:34:05,681
<I>come on, eddie,</i>
<i>let's go.</I>

662
00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:10,379
Bye, daddy.

663
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:11,522
We'll see you tomorrow.

664
00:34:13,418 --> 00:34:16,418
<I>night, sir.</I>

665
00:34:16,422 --> 00:34:18,522
<I>♪ the lights are on ♪</i>

666
00:34:18,524 --> 00:34:20,424
<I>♪ but you're not home ♪</i>

667
00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:24,586
<I>♪ your mind</i>
<i>is not your own ♪</i>

668
00:34:24,596 --> 00:34:29,496
<I>♪ your heart sweats,</i>
<i>your body shakes ♪</i>

669
00:34:29,501 --> 00:34:31,271
<I>♪ another kiss... ♪</I>

670
00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:33,340
<I>so, we were supposed to shoot</i>
<i>in paris this weekend,</i>

671
00:34:33,338 --> 00:34:36,508
- But it was raining.
- Well, that's too bad.

672
00:34:36,508 --> 00:34:40,238
Well, so what's it like being
a big movie director, huh?

673
00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:43,345
Um, it's like any
other job, you know?

674
00:34:43,348 --> 00:34:46,318
Well, have you directed
anything that I've seen?

675
00:34:46,318 --> 00:34:47,318
You know?

676
00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:49,849
Uh, this and that.

677
00:34:49,855 --> 00:34:51,115
You know what?

678
00:34:51,123 --> 00:34:52,363
I don't want to talk about me.

679
00:34:52,357 --> 00:34:53,657
I really want
to talk about you.

680
00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:55,359
I talk about the business
all day, you know?

681
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,660
Mm-hmm.

682
00:34:56,662 --> 00:34:59,502
So, how long have you been
with the dating service?

683
00:34:59,498 --> 00:35:01,358
Oh, almost a year.

684
00:35:01,366 --> 00:35:04,626
I like it, because, you
know, you see some guy

685
00:35:04,636 --> 00:35:06,296
That you think's
really cute,

686
00:35:06,305 --> 00:35:11,135
And you just pick him out of the
herd and, well, here we are.

687
00:35:12,578 --> 00:35:14,808
So, do you like
my breasts?

688
00:35:14,813 --> 00:35:17,353
What?

689
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:19,449
I mean, an actress has
to have big ones, right?

690
00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:21,521
Well, mine
aren't so big.

691
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:22,690
But, you know, when
I'm standing like this,

692
00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:25,258
They're really tiny,
but if I stand like that

693
00:35:25,257 --> 00:35:28,487
And I hunch over,
they're gargantuan.

694
00:35:31,496 --> 00:35:33,326
Oh, god.

695
00:35:33,332 --> 00:35:36,202
My daddy's
such a weirdo.

696
00:35:36,201 --> 00:35:37,371
Oh, god.

697
00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:39,699
I mean, if he hadn't
got me that job dancing,

698
00:35:39,705 --> 00:35:41,605
I would have
split long ago.

699
00:35:41,607 --> 00:35:44,507
Oh, that's right,
you're a dancer.

700
00:35:44,510 --> 00:35:46,440
Yeah, well, you asked
for somebody

701
00:35:46,445 --> 00:35:49,375
In the performing arts,
didn't you?

702
00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:51,551
Well, I'm in showbiz.

703
00:35:51,550 --> 00:35:54,380
And you meet so many
people at monster mansion--

704
00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:55,546
Wait a minute.

705
00:35:55,554 --> 00:35:57,624
You work at monster mansion?

706
00:35:57,623 --> 00:35:58,663
Well, yeah.

707
00:35:58,657 --> 00:36:00,387
I'm the dancing troll.

708
00:36:01,393 --> 00:36:02,733
Eddie?

709
00:36:02,728 --> 00:36:03,728
Excuse me.

710
00:36:03,729 --> 00:36:04,729
Eddie?
Are you okay?

711
00:36:04,730 --> 00:36:06,530
Here, here.
Let me help you.

712
00:36:08,767 --> 00:36:10,897
Oh. Oh, are
you all right?

713
00:36:10,903 --> 00:36:13,773
Yeah, I'm fine.
Thank you.

714
00:36:13,772 --> 00:36:15,442
I'm sorry. It must
have gone, you know...

715
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:16,670
That's okay.

716
00:36:16,675 --> 00:36:19,805
I do the heimlich
all the time.

717
00:36:19,811 --> 00:36:22,581
Are you sure
you're okay?

718
00:36:22,581 --> 00:36:25,481
So, are you going to
audition me, or what?

719
00:36:27,518 --> 00:36:28,588
Hmm?

720
00:36:28,587 --> 00:36:30,587
Whoa. I--

721
00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:34,264
What?

722
00:36:34,259 --> 00:36:36,459
I just thought maybe we'd get to
know each other first, that's all.

723
00:36:36,461 --> 00:36:37,761
Well, I want
to know you.

724
00:36:37,763 --> 00:36:39,433
- Really?
- I do.

725
00:36:39,431 --> 00:36:41,431
<I>♪ might as well face it, ♪</i>

726
00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:43,603
- <I>♪ you're addicted to love ♪</i>
- oh!

727
00:36:45,370 --> 00:36:49,570
<I>♪ you're addicted to love ♪</i>

728
00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:52,375
<I>♪ you're addicted to love ♪</i>

729
00:36:52,377 --> 00:36:55,647
<I>♪ might as well face it,</i>
<i>you're addicted to love... ♪</I>

730
00:36:55,647 --> 00:36:57,277
<I>oh, yes! Yes!</I>

731
00:36:58,283 --> 00:37:00,483
<I>why? What am I doing?</I>

732
00:37:00,485 --> 00:37:03,615
Nothing. Let's just pretend
like we're doing it, okay?

733
00:37:03,622 --> 00:37:05,292
Oh! Right like that.
Right like that.

734
00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:06,920
- Oh, don't move!
- Ow! Ow!

735
00:37:06,925 --> 00:37:08,525
Please don't move!
Don't breathe!

736
00:37:08,527 --> 00:37:11,957
Wait, wait, wait.
I think I have something with my leg.

737
00:37:11,964 --> 00:37:13,704
- Oh, no.
- I think I have a charley horse.

738
00:37:13,699 --> 00:37:16,229
- No!
- Yeah!

739
00:37:16,235 --> 00:37:17,265
Oh, god!

740
00:37:17,269 --> 00:37:19,339
Oh, yes! Yes!

741
00:37:19,338 --> 00:37:22,468
<I>♪ might as well face it</i>
<i>you're addicted to love ♪</i>

742
00:37:26,278 --> 00:37:27,438
Oh, god.

743
00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:29,646
Oh, that was good.
Oh, god.

744
00:37:31,482 --> 00:37:34,382
Oh. Was it good
for you, too?

745
00:37:34,386 --> 00:37:36,616
But we didn't
do anything.

746
00:37:36,622 --> 00:37:37,622
<I>right.</I>

747
00:37:37,623 --> 00:37:40,023
That's why they call
it safe sex.

748
00:37:40,025 --> 00:37:41,385
But yet...

749
00:37:41,393 --> 00:37:42,763
Look, I've got
a date later on.

750
00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:45,801
So maybe we better
get going.

751
00:37:45,797 --> 00:37:47,027
Oh, my god.

752
00:37:47,032 --> 00:37:48,602
Do you know what time it is?

753
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,300
You know what?

754
00:37:50,302 --> 00:37:52,442
I have to be on the set
first thing in the morning.

755
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:55,507
Oh, that reminds me.
Hold on just a second.

756
00:37:55,507 --> 00:37:59,007
Here, my 8x10 and if
you can ever use me,

757
00:37:59,011 --> 00:38:00,811
Even in the tiny,
tiny, tiny little part,

758
00:38:00,812 --> 00:38:02,812
I'd really
appreciate it, okay?

759
00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:05,484
Thanks.

760
00:38:05,484 --> 00:38:09,294
<I>♪ it's closer to the truth</i>
<i>to say you can't get enough ♪</i>

761
00:38:09,288 --> 00:38:11,588
<I>♪ you know you're going</i>
<i>to have to face it ♪</i>

762
00:38:11,590 --> 00:38:13,390
<I>♪ you're addicted to love. ♪</I>

763
00:38:13,392 --> 00:38:16,292
So, you went out
with the dancing troll?

764
00:38:16,295 --> 00:38:18,895
Just trying to find
a girl, that's all.

765
00:38:18,897 --> 00:38:21,867
Sounds pretty
squirrelly to me, ed.

766
00:38:21,867 --> 00:38:24,467
Look, it seems like the
only way I can get women

767
00:38:24,469 --> 00:38:27,439
To notice me is if make up
who they want me to be.

768
00:38:27,439 --> 00:38:30,309
So, one date
I'm a director,

769
00:38:30,309 --> 00:38:32,009
<I>the next date,</i>

770
00:38:32,010 --> 00:38:33,940
Be a rock and roller.

771
00:38:33,945 --> 00:38:35,975
Um, maybe one date
I'll be a--

772
00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:38,481
Sleazebag pervert?

773
00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:46,060
Boogie boards,

774
00:38:46,058 --> 00:38:47,858
Skateboards...

775
00:38:47,859 --> 00:38:50,659
I'm really bored.

776
00:38:51,862 --> 00:38:54,762
Yo, skate city.

777
00:38:55,866 --> 00:38:57,826
Yo, skateboards.

778
00:38:57,836 --> 00:38:59,996
Yo.

779
00:39:00,005 --> 00:39:01,665
Whoa.

780
00:39:01,673 --> 00:39:03,043
Eddie, how are you?

781
00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:05,541
I'm all right,
how are you?

782
00:39:05,544 --> 00:39:06,544
Pretty good.

783
00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:07,635
How you doin'?

784
00:39:07,646 --> 00:39:09,446
Yeah, hi.

785
00:39:09,448 --> 00:39:10,548
See you in a minute.

786
00:39:10,549 --> 00:39:14,519
So, how's the big life
of a movie director.

787
00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:16,549
Is this the part where the car
comes over the hill?

788
00:39:16,555 --> 00:39:18,715
<I>i'm sorry.</I>
<i>i'm just kidding.</I>

789
00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:19,824
So, how'd your date go?

790
00:39:19,825 --> 00:39:22,355
My date was miserable.

791
00:39:22,361 --> 00:39:24,631
I'm sorry to hear that.

792
00:39:24,629 --> 00:39:26,599
You went out with the one
from monster mansion, right?

793
00:39:26,598 --> 00:39:27,728
Mm-hmm.

794
00:39:27,733 --> 00:39:29,903
<I>well, first dates are</i>
<i>always the worst.</I>

795
00:39:29,901 --> 00:39:32,741
Come on, eddie.
There's a lot of girls at the dating service.

796
00:39:32,738 --> 00:39:34,038
Just come in and be yourself.

797
00:39:34,039 --> 00:39:35,039
Oh, yeah.

798
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,640
That's really easy
for you to say

799
00:39:36,641 --> 00:39:39,611
With mr. Tubular standing
over there as your boyfriend.

800
00:39:39,611 --> 00:39:41,411
Maybe if I knew how
to surf, I'd get lucky.

801
00:39:41,413 --> 00:39:43,613
He's not a surfer,
he's a lifeguard.

802
00:39:43,615 --> 00:39:45,675
Yo, paton. Come on!
I haven't got all day.

803
00:39:45,684 --> 00:39:48,394
Anyway, I got to go.

804
00:39:48,387 --> 00:39:49,847
So, are we going
to see you again?

805
00:39:49,855 --> 00:39:53,155
I don't know.
Maybe I'll come in as a surfer.

806
00:39:53,158 --> 00:39:55,388
That would be funny.

807
00:39:55,394 --> 00:39:56,934
We'll see you on tape.

808
00:39:56,928 --> 00:39:58,758
Ciao.

809
00:39:58,764 --> 00:39:59,864
Bye.

810
00:40:01,565 --> 00:40:03,095
We in focus, honey?

811
00:40:03,101 --> 00:40:04,631
Yes, ms. Frigget.

812
00:40:06,837 --> 00:40:08,907
So, you got a troll, huh?

813
00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:10,437
<I>too bad.</I>

814
00:40:10,442 --> 00:40:12,742
It's 'cause you're
comin' off like a wimp.

815
00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:13,744
Chest up.

816
00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:14,805
<I>chin in.</I>

817
00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:16,653
<I>flex those pecs.</I>

818
00:40:16,648 --> 00:40:18,178
How's this?

819
00:40:18,183 --> 00:40:20,423
You look constipated.

820
00:40:22,019 --> 00:40:24,719
Oh, just be yourself, and--

821
00:40:24,723 --> 00:40:26,863
Wait. Excuse me. Do
I have to pay again?

822
00:40:26,858 --> 00:40:29,528
Of course you got to pay.

823
00:40:29,528 --> 00:40:31,128
Nothing in this life
is free.

824
00:40:31,129 --> 00:40:33,929
I got to live, I got to eat.

825
00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:35,432
Action.

826
00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:38,797
Hey, baby,
how's it goin'?

827
00:40:38,804 --> 00:40:40,744
Ed's the name,
rock 'n' roll's the game.

828
00:40:40,739 --> 00:40:42,439
<I>check it out.</I>

829
00:40:42,441 --> 00:40:44,441
Now, listen, life
is a series of risks

830
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:47,183
And you are about to take the
ultimate risk by going out with me.

831
00:40:47,179 --> 00:40:49,979
<I>now, I'm not talking about</i>
<i>a heavy commitment.</I>

832
00:40:49,981 --> 00:40:53,021
I'm just talking about an illin'
babe that I can take home to mom.

833
00:40:53,018 --> 00:40:54,848
Check it out.
Can you dig it?

834
00:40:54,853 --> 00:40:57,053
Yeah.

835
00:41:23,547 --> 00:41:24,677
I loved your video.

836
00:41:24,683 --> 00:41:25,723
Really?

837
00:41:25,717 --> 00:41:26,977
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

838
00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:28,585
Are you really in
a rock 'n' roll band?

839
00:41:28,587 --> 00:41:32,557
Um, as a matter of fact,
I just came from the studio.

840
00:41:32,557 --> 00:41:34,857
We jut laid down some tracks.

841
00:41:34,860 --> 00:41:37,590
And, um, anyway,
what do you do?

842
00:41:37,596 --> 00:41:38,856
I do performance art.

843
00:41:38,864 --> 00:41:41,734
Haven't you ever heard
of rhonda midnight?

844
00:41:41,733 --> 00:41:44,203
Yes.
I do recall.

845
00:41:44,202 --> 00:41:46,042
Well, actually, I'm
in the middle of a piece

846
00:41:46,037 --> 00:41:48,707
Called
the mating ritual.

847
00:41:48,707 --> 00:41:50,107
Do you want to be in it?

848
00:41:50,108 --> 00:41:51,568
You mean now?

849
00:41:51,576 --> 00:41:53,076
Well, not now. Later.

850
00:41:53,078 --> 00:41:56,808
Now, I'm going to take
you to the scag club.

851
00:41:56,815 --> 00:42:00,845
It's very hot, dark, smoky,

852
00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:03,692
And we could hold hands
under the table.

853
00:42:05,556 --> 00:42:08,826
And I can press my hot lips
against your lips.

854
00:42:10,628 --> 00:42:12,928
But first, we have
to dress you up.

855
00:42:12,931 --> 00:42:14,001
Dress me up?

856
00:42:39,723 --> 00:42:40,823
Good, huh?

857
00:42:40,825 --> 00:42:42,925
Oh, yeah.
He's great.

858
00:42:42,928 --> 00:42:45,658
♪ Eeeee ♪

859
00:42:45,664 --> 00:42:47,164
Ha ha ha ha!

860
00:42:47,165 --> 00:42:49,825
I kind of just feel a little
out of place in there.

861
00:42:49,834 --> 00:42:50,834
You know?

862
00:42:50,835 --> 00:42:51,965
The next guy seemed better.

863
00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:53,200
Really?

864
00:42:53,204 --> 00:42:55,674
This guy we saw is good,
but the next guy--

865
00:42:55,674 --> 00:42:57,044
Wait, wait.
Skip! Skip!

866
00:42:58,075 --> 00:42:59,575
<I>come here!</I>

867
00:43:01,812 --> 00:43:03,982
Skip!

868
00:43:03,982 --> 00:43:06,082
It's me, eddie.

869
00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:07,684
Eddie?

870
00:43:07,686 --> 00:43:08,686
Yes!

871
00:43:08,687 --> 00:43:10,147
Oh, no.

872
00:43:10,155 --> 00:43:11,955
What are you doing?

873
00:43:11,957 --> 00:43:13,017
Oh, I'm sorry.

874
00:43:13,024 --> 00:43:17,864
Rhonda, this is my roommate, skip,
and this is... Rene.

875
00:43:17,862 --> 00:43:19,262
Veronica.

876
00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:21,634
Oh, my god, barry.

877
00:43:21,633 --> 00:43:22,833
That's my analyst
over there.

878
00:43:22,834 --> 00:43:24,934
That's barry.
I'll be back in a minute.

879
00:43:24,936 --> 00:43:27,136
- Barry?
- What are you doing?

880
00:43:27,138 --> 00:43:28,638
Barry.

881
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:29,810
- Hi.
- Hi.

882
00:43:29,808 --> 00:43:32,778
Yeah, I'm on one
of those video dates.

883
00:43:32,777 --> 00:43:35,137
She thought it'd be fun if we got dressed up,
you know, went out.

884
00:43:35,146 --> 00:43:36,676
So, you just let her
do it, right?

885
00:43:36,681 --> 00:43:38,181
You let her put on
the wig, the earrings,

886
00:43:38,183 --> 00:43:43,153
Eddie, look, it's okay to pretend
to be somebody else, right?

887
00:43:43,154 --> 00:43:45,964
Just as long as that somebody
else is cooler than you.

888
00:43:47,024 --> 00:43:49,034
I got to go, man.

889
00:43:49,027 --> 00:43:50,227
You going to be all right?

890
00:43:50,228 --> 00:43:51,358
I'm fine.

891
00:43:51,363 --> 00:43:53,163
- All right.
- See ya.

892
00:43:53,164 --> 00:43:54,734
Bye.

893
00:43:54,733 --> 00:43:56,333
- He's good, huh?
- Yeah.

894
00:43:56,334 --> 00:43:58,104
How you doin'?

895
00:43:58,103 --> 00:44:00,043
All right.

896
00:44:01,705 --> 00:44:04,135
Care to, uh, partake, man?

897
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:05,842
Oh, gee, no thanks.

898
00:44:05,844 --> 00:44:06,844
Come on, dude.

899
00:44:06,845 --> 00:44:07,875
Here. Just one.

900
00:44:07,879 --> 00:44:08,879
Ooh!

901
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,250
♪ It's spring again ♪

902
00:44:10,248 --> 00:44:12,818
<I>eddie, wake up. Wake up.</I>

903
00:44:12,817 --> 00:44:14,117
It's time to wake up.

904
00:44:14,119 --> 00:44:16,989
Are you okay?

905
00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:22,726
Uh, uh, yeah.

906
00:44:22,727 --> 00:44:26,197
I feel like someone tried
to jumpstart my heart.

907
00:44:26,197 --> 00:44:27,897
I know.

908
00:44:27,899 --> 00:44:31,029
I feel like this
is all my fault.

909
00:44:31,036 --> 00:44:34,266
I can't seem to meet
a normal guy.

910
00:44:34,272 --> 00:44:39,282
Now, I meet you and I
feel like I've blown it.

911
00:44:39,277 --> 00:44:41,707
No, you didn't blow it.

912
00:44:41,713 --> 00:44:45,153
I'm just trying
to find a normal girl.

913
00:44:45,150 --> 00:44:47,780
I'm not
exactly normal, though.

914
00:44:47,786 --> 00:44:50,716
I mean, I'm looking for a girl
that I can settle down with,

915
00:44:50,722 --> 00:44:52,222
You know, maybe
a couple of kids.

916
00:44:52,223 --> 00:44:55,023
That's really easy for
you to say, isn't it?

917
00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:57,326
You don't have
to carry children.

918
00:44:57,328 --> 00:44:58,858
No, that's not what I meant.

919
00:44:58,863 --> 00:45:00,433
No, I know exactly
what you meant.

920
00:45:00,432 --> 00:45:05,842
You want some poor woman to
lug around your kid for 9 months.

921
00:45:05,837 --> 00:45:08,337
Do you have any idea what
it's like to be pregnant?

922
00:45:08,339 --> 00:45:09,969
No.

923
00:45:09,974 --> 00:45:12,944
You expect us women to wash,
cook, and clean for you,

924
00:45:12,944 --> 00:45:15,954
Then spend all night having
sex like crazed monkeys.

925
00:45:15,947 --> 00:45:17,807
No.
That's not fair.

926
00:45:17,816 --> 00:45:19,716
That's not fair?

927
00:45:21,085 --> 00:45:23,085
I'll tell you
what's not fair.

928
00:45:23,088 --> 00:45:26,488
What's not fair is this whole
idea of the mating ritual.

929
00:45:26,491 --> 00:45:29,991
That a woman of my quality
has to stoop as low

930
00:45:29,994 --> 00:45:32,734
As going to a dating service
to get a date,

931
00:45:32,731 --> 00:45:35,061
While men like you pick and choose
which ones you're going to marry?

932
00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:36,326
I mean, what is it?

933
00:45:36,334 --> 00:45:38,974
You think women
are like animals

934
00:45:38,970 --> 00:45:41,340
Just waiting around for men
like you to show us domination?

935
00:45:41,339 --> 00:45:45,069
'Cause I can show you
something about domination.

936
00:45:47,511 --> 00:45:49,751
Wait a minute.

937
00:45:49,748 --> 00:45:51,908
What are these things
doing on my feet?

938
00:45:52,850 --> 00:45:54,820
Why are these cameras on?

939
00:45:56,353 --> 00:46:02,063
This is the mating ritual,
and you are my mate.

940
00:46:02,060 --> 00:46:03,760
No!

941
00:46:03,762 --> 00:46:04,962
What are you doing!?

942
00:46:04,963 --> 00:46:06,533
Lady!

943
00:46:10,868 --> 00:46:12,168
Leaving so soon?

944
00:46:12,170 --> 00:46:13,400
Ha ha ha!

945
00:46:29,820 --> 00:46:33,360
Now, chuck,
try to be diplomatic.

946
00:46:33,358 --> 00:46:35,158
Diplomatic?

947
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,490
<I>if I tell my son it's day and it's night,</i>
<i>then it's day.</I>

948
00:46:38,496 --> 00:46:39,996
<I>mace, you shut up.</I>

949
00:46:39,998 --> 00:46:41,458
Now just shut up.

950
00:46:41,466 --> 00:46:42,526
Don't tell me to shut up.

951
00:46:42,534 --> 00:46:43,534
Shut up, macie.

952
00:46:43,535 --> 00:46:45,365
Ohh, shit!

953
00:46:53,043 --> 00:46:55,553
Get up, get up, get up!

954
00:46:58,048 --> 00:47:00,448
Get up quick!
My parents are here.

955
00:47:00,451 --> 00:47:01,921
Get up!

956
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:03,020
What?

957
00:47:03,021 --> 00:47:04,851
- My parents.
- What about 'em?

958
00:47:04,856 --> 00:47:06,286
They're here.
The girls.

959
00:47:06,291 --> 00:47:08,831
Well, they
can't have 'em,

960
00:47:08,827 --> 00:47:10,427
They're mine,
now get out of here.

961
00:47:10,428 --> 00:47:12,998
Oh, my god!

962
00:47:14,431 --> 00:47:17,001
Eddie?
Is that you?

963
00:47:18,235 --> 00:47:19,865
Okay.

964
00:47:19,871 --> 00:47:21,301
Ah!

965
00:47:22,873 --> 00:47:23,943
Aah!

966
00:47:25,409 --> 00:47:26,839
Eddie?

967
00:47:31,949 --> 00:47:34,379
Mom, dad.
How the hell are you?

968
00:47:34,385 --> 00:47:35,515
Ed.

969
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,090
What the hell's
going on here?

970
00:47:38,089 --> 00:47:40,089
Whose place is this?

971
00:47:40,091 --> 00:47:42,631
This place? Oh, it's skip's.

972
00:47:42,627 --> 00:47:44,127
<I>he's house-sitting</i>
<i>for this guy.</I>

973
00:47:44,128 --> 00:47:46,428
Son, why do you have
a towel on your head?

974
00:47:46,431 --> 00:47:47,961
Towel?

975
00:47:47,966 --> 00:47:50,996
Oh. Well, I just
took a shower,

976
00:47:51,002 --> 00:47:55,612
So I'm going to go
finish drying off, okay?

977
00:47:55,607 --> 00:47:57,137
Excuse me.

978
00:48:00,143 --> 00:48:02,883
Whew.

979
00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:06,515
Ah!

980
00:48:06,517 --> 00:48:07,877
Eddie.

981
00:48:07,886 --> 00:48:10,186
Eddie, honey?
Did you say something?

982
00:48:10,188 --> 00:48:12,318
No, mom. I'm just
going to take a shower.

983
00:48:12,323 --> 00:48:14,093
Didn't you just
take a shower?

984
00:48:14,092 --> 00:48:17,992
Um, yeah, but it gets
really dirty in l.a.

985
00:48:17,996 --> 00:48:19,626
<I>so, I'll be right out, okay?</I>

986
00:48:19,631 --> 00:48:20,901
Who is that?

987
00:48:20,899 --> 00:48:22,199
My mother, shh.

988
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,100
Shh.
Wait, wait--

989
00:48:24,102 --> 00:48:25,942
Go that way.
Go that way.

990
00:48:25,937 --> 00:48:28,367
Shh. Be cool.
Okay? Please.

991
00:48:39,082 --> 00:48:41,922
<I>right.</I>

992
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,420
That's nice, very nice.
Okay. Ooh, beautiful.

993
00:48:44,422 --> 00:48:50,332
Salute again, please.

994
00:48:50,328 --> 00:48:52,658
Oh, love it, love it. Ooh!

995
00:48:58,168 --> 00:49:01,298
Dear, I think we better wait
for him back at the motel.

996
00:49:01,306 --> 00:49:02,136
Come on.

997
00:49:02,140 --> 00:49:04,140
There it is.

998
00:49:04,142 --> 00:49:05,542
Thanks.

999
00:49:12,449 --> 00:49:14,519
Mom, dad, what's wrong?

1000
00:49:14,519 --> 00:49:16,219
You're coming home.

1001
00:49:16,220 --> 00:49:17,490
What? That?
I can explain that.

1002
00:49:17,488 --> 00:49:20,018
This isn't mine.
It's skip's.

1003
00:49:20,024 --> 00:49:22,334
- Where is skip?
- He's out of town.

1004
00:49:22,327 --> 00:49:24,227
Then, who was that girl?

1005
00:49:24,228 --> 00:49:26,098
What girl?

1006
00:49:28,031 --> 00:49:30,331
<I>that girl.</I>

1007
00:49:30,335 --> 00:49:34,235
And what about the naked
girl in the backyard?

1008
00:49:34,238 --> 00:49:35,238
Right.

1009
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:36,309
What naked girl?

1010
00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:38,607
Why don't you just
go back to the hotel

1011
00:49:38,609 --> 00:49:39,709
And I'll come over.

1012
00:49:39,711 --> 00:49:41,281
Son.

1013
00:49:41,279 --> 00:49:45,479
Son, you've got to stop
sowing wild oats.

1014
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:48,283
Darling, forget
about joanie.

1015
00:49:48,286 --> 00:49:49,646
You'll get
over that.

1016
00:49:49,654 --> 00:49:53,324
Look, you're on the next plane back to ohio,
young man.

1017
00:49:53,324 --> 00:49:54,564
No, dad.

1018
00:49:54,559 --> 00:49:57,359
Baby. Baby, come home
and live with us.

1019
00:49:57,362 --> 00:50:00,262
Your daddy will
give you your job back.

1020
00:50:00,264 --> 00:50:02,304
Uh, what's that?

1021
00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:05,370
Chuck, your son is
wearing an earring.

1022
00:50:05,370 --> 00:50:07,270
- Oh.
- Ouch.

1023
00:50:07,271 --> 00:50:09,271
That is the last straw.

1024
00:50:09,273 --> 00:50:11,173
Dad, come on.

1025
00:50:12,409 --> 00:50:16,249
Uncle chuck, aunt macie,

1026
00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:19,417
Welcome to skip dooley's
practical jokes, blunders,

1027
00:50:19,417 --> 00:50:20,677
And cockamamie gimmicks.

1028
00:50:20,685 --> 00:50:23,115
<I>i just have to say this,</i>

1029
00:50:23,121 --> 00:50:25,621
That was one of the best
practical jokes we pulled off.

1030
00:50:25,623 --> 00:50:27,363
<I>what the...</I>

1031
00:50:27,358 --> 00:50:28,658
No, uncle chuck, the camera's right
over there behind the mirror.

1032
00:50:28,659 --> 00:50:31,189
Now, why don't you two
come on over here

1033
00:50:31,195 --> 00:50:33,455
Right next to me and say hello
to the television audience.

1034
00:50:33,464 --> 00:50:34,464
Come on.

1035
00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:35,455
Speak right up.

1036
00:50:35,466 --> 00:50:36,596
Oh, you're kidding.

1037
00:50:36,601 --> 00:50:37,601
No.

1038
00:50:37,602 --> 00:50:38,602
What are you talking--

1039
00:50:38,603 --> 00:50:39,603
You mean, this is really--

1040
00:50:39,604 --> 00:50:40,604
You mean
we're on television?

1041
00:50:40,605 --> 00:50:41,595
That's right.

1042
00:50:41,606 --> 00:50:43,066
<I>you're kidding.</I>

1043
00:50:43,074 --> 00:50:44,514
No, you see, I told
edward not to tell you

1044
00:50:44,509 --> 00:50:45,669
About my new cable show.

1045
00:50:45,676 --> 00:50:46,676
The show that puts
everyday ordinary people

1046
00:50:46,677 --> 00:50:48,377
Into extraordinary
situations.

1047
00:50:48,379 --> 00:50:49,509
<I>that's amazing.</I>

1048
00:50:49,514 --> 00:50:51,284
Say hi.
Say hi, uncle chuck.

1049
00:50:51,282 --> 00:50:53,322
Hi.

1050
00:50:53,317 --> 00:50:56,647
Hello, we're from ohio.

1051
00:50:56,654 --> 00:50:58,354
Come on now,
you're kidding.

1052
00:50:58,356 --> 00:51:02,216
Ed, you never told us
you worked in tv.

1053
00:51:02,226 --> 00:51:04,556
The producers
wouldn't let me.

1054
00:51:04,562 --> 00:51:07,362
Ohh. Ohh.

1055
00:51:07,365 --> 00:51:10,295
Oh, now I get it.

1056
00:51:10,301 --> 00:51:11,431
<I>all right, guys,</i>
<i>that's a wrap.</I>

1057
00:51:11,436 --> 00:51:13,136
Thanks.

1058
00:51:13,137 --> 00:51:16,267
You guys were
just so good.

1059
00:51:16,274 --> 00:51:17,644
Couldn't believe it.

1060
00:51:17,642 --> 00:51:19,712
Mom, dad, listen, we'll
go out to dinner later.

1061
00:51:19,710 --> 00:51:22,410
Okay? So, why don't you
go home, get some rest--

1062
00:51:24,549 --> 00:51:26,079
Good-bye!

1063
00:51:26,084 --> 00:51:27,724
Thanks, mom.

1064
00:51:27,718 --> 00:51:29,148
Come on, mace,
he's a busy man.

1065
00:51:29,153 --> 00:51:30,223
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

1066
00:51:30,221 --> 00:51:32,421
You didn't fool me
for a minute.

1067
00:51:32,423 --> 00:51:34,523
Right, bye, dad.

1068
00:51:38,495 --> 00:51:42,325
I can't believe
that just worked.

1069
00:51:43,266 --> 00:51:45,496
What is it we sell?

1070
00:51:46,403 --> 00:51:48,373
The fantasy.

1071
00:52:09,793 --> 00:52:11,493
Uh, excuse me, hi.

1072
00:52:11,496 --> 00:52:13,626
I'm looking for a girl
named monique.

1073
00:52:15,732 --> 00:52:18,732
I was just wondering
when you'd get here.

1074
00:52:19,870 --> 00:52:21,540
You're monique.

1075
00:52:21,539 --> 00:52:24,139
I just loved
your videotape.

1076
00:52:24,142 --> 00:52:25,272
Which one?

1077
00:52:25,276 --> 00:52:27,476
The one where you talk
about how much

1078
00:52:27,478 --> 00:52:30,448
You like racing
fast cars and women.

1079
00:52:30,448 --> 00:52:32,518
Uh, right, yeah.

1080
00:52:32,517 --> 00:52:33,777
Anyway, listen.

1081
00:52:33,784 --> 00:52:34,854
I have
a slight problem.

1082
00:52:34,852 --> 00:52:36,352
My parents
just came into town

1083
00:52:36,354 --> 00:52:38,154
And I have
to go out with them,

1084
00:52:38,156 --> 00:52:41,186
So, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to break our date.

1085
00:52:41,192 --> 00:52:42,692
Why?

1086
00:52:42,693 --> 00:52:45,763
Are you afraid I
would embarrass you?

1087
00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:48,734
No.

1088
00:52:48,733 --> 00:52:49,903
No, it's not that at all.

1089
00:52:49,901 --> 00:52:52,201
It's just that, you know,

1090
00:52:52,203 --> 00:52:53,673
They just came into town,

1091
00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:56,411
And I have to have
dinner with them.

1092
00:52:56,407 --> 00:52:57,707
So, where are you
having dinner?

1093
00:52:57,708 --> 00:53:00,378
Croquet's.

1094
00:53:00,378 --> 00:53:02,578
I love that place.

1095
00:53:03,380 --> 00:53:05,410
I'll call peno right now

1096
00:53:05,416 --> 00:53:07,416
And get us the best
table, all right?

1097
00:53:07,418 --> 00:53:09,348
Yeah, sure.

1098
00:53:09,353 --> 00:53:11,393
If you want to do that,
that'd be great.

1099
00:53:11,389 --> 00:53:12,819
- They'll love it.
- Yeah?

1100
00:53:12,823 --> 00:53:14,663
Believe me.

1101
00:53:14,659 --> 00:53:16,789
And I'll love it
even more.

1102
00:53:19,829 --> 00:53:21,959
So, wait here, handsome.

1103
00:53:27,537 --> 00:53:31,437
Hmm.
How cute.

1104
00:53:31,442 --> 00:53:33,542
It looks just like
a small penis.

1105
00:53:40,884 --> 00:53:42,894
If you rub up against it,

1106
00:53:42,887 --> 00:53:45,487
It'll turn
into a big cadillac.

1107
00:53:46,556 --> 00:53:48,386
- Good evening.
- Ah.

1108
00:53:48,392 --> 00:53:52,532
I'm going to explain
this evening's menu to you.

1109
00:53:52,530 --> 00:53:54,630
Please don't interrupt.

1110
00:53:54,632 --> 00:53:57,732
As an appetizer, we have
duck sausage on a pizza

1111
00:53:57,735 --> 00:53:59,565
With salmon roe
and tomatoes

1112
00:53:59,570 --> 00:54:01,770
That have been dried
in the napa valley sun.

1113
00:54:01,772 --> 00:54:03,442
Duck pizza?

1114
00:54:03,441 --> 00:54:05,611
Uh-uh. I asked you
not to interrupt.

1115
00:54:05,610 --> 00:54:07,810
Please save your questions until I'm finished,
all right?

1116
00:54:07,812 --> 00:54:11,452
<I>then we have the pitage</i>
<i>de fiddle fern.</I>

1117
00:54:11,449 --> 00:54:13,449
A fern that
is organically grown

1118
00:54:13,451 --> 00:54:16,591
And clipped alive from the
evergreens in colorado.

1119
00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:20,387
Fiddle fern soup?

1120
00:54:20,391 --> 00:54:22,261
<I>dad.</I>

1121
00:54:22,260 --> 00:54:24,360
You're embarrassing me.

1122
00:54:24,362 --> 00:54:26,462
And for the main entree,

1123
00:54:26,464 --> 00:54:28,504
We have grilled,
free-range chickens.

1124
00:54:28,499 --> 00:54:31,869
That means they have been raised
in a stress-free environment,

1125
00:54:31,869 --> 00:54:34,499
Without fences
or any loud noises.

1126
00:54:34,505 --> 00:54:35,935
What the hell
is he talking about?

1127
00:54:35,940 --> 00:54:37,740
They got gay chickens
out here?

1128
00:54:37,742 --> 00:54:38,742
Shh.

1129
00:54:38,743 --> 00:54:40,483
Stress-free
chickens, dear.

1130
00:54:40,478 --> 00:54:45,378
Richard, could we have a
bottle of your best champagne?

1131
00:54:45,383 --> 00:54:46,783
It'll be
a pleasure, madame.

1132
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:47,984
Make it two bottles.

1133
00:54:47,985 --> 00:54:49,585
- Of course.
- Thank you.

1134
00:54:49,587 --> 00:54:53,617
Well, tell us about
yourself, monique.

1135
00:54:53,624 --> 00:54:56,864
I'm what you call your
typical beverly hills girl.

1136
00:54:56,861 --> 00:55:00,831
You know, I grew up on the
left bank and rodeo drive

1137
00:55:00,831 --> 00:55:04,401
And eddie is just
so continental,

1138
00:55:04,402 --> 00:55:06,342
So, <i>savoir faire,</i>

1139
00:55:06,337 --> 00:55:07,797
That I just could
not resist him.

1140
00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:09,535
Our eddie?

1141
00:55:09,540 --> 00:55:11,410
Dad, your mouth is full.

1142
00:55:11,409 --> 00:55:12,409
Sorry.

1143
00:55:12,410 --> 00:55:14,540
You know, I just love a guy

1144
00:55:14,545 --> 00:55:16,575
Who knows how
to race fast cars

1145
00:55:16,580 --> 00:55:18,580
<I>and climb mountains.</I>

1146
00:55:18,582 --> 00:55:20,482
Are you talking
about him?

1147
00:55:20,484 --> 00:55:21,724
Mom.

1148
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:23,689
You know
about my hobbies.

1149
00:55:23,688 --> 00:55:26,388
Oh, your hobbies.
Oh!

1150
00:55:26,390 --> 00:55:28,420
<I>i could go on and on</i>

1151
00:55:28,426 --> 00:55:31,486
About eddie's science project in high school.

1152
00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:33,695
<I>did he tell you that</i>
<i>he won first prize</i>

1153
00:55:33,698 --> 00:55:37,098
At the patawatabe
county fair?

1154
00:55:37,101 --> 00:55:40,741
He grew the biggest ear
of corn in the state.

1155
00:55:41,671 --> 00:55:42,571
I believe it.

1156
00:55:42,573 --> 00:55:44,713
Ooh!

1157
00:55:44,709 --> 00:55:46,379
Oh, man.

1158
00:55:48,045 --> 00:55:49,845
I had a bit
of an accident.

1159
00:55:49,847 --> 00:55:51,577
I'm sorry. Could you
excuse me a second?

1160
00:55:51,582 --> 00:55:53,782
I'm going to run
to the bathroom.

1161
00:55:57,687 --> 00:55:59,657
Excuse me.

1162
00:56:02,592 --> 00:56:05,692
You can't believe what
just happened out there.

1163
00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:09,426
I don't know what I'm
going to say, I mean--

1164
00:56:09,433 --> 00:56:12,673
Monique, you're not
supposed to be in here.

1165
00:56:12,670 --> 00:56:13,670
Why not?

1166
00:56:13,671 --> 00:56:15,441
Because it's
the men's room,

1167
00:56:15,439 --> 00:56:16,709
And those are
my parents out there.

1168
00:56:16,707 --> 00:56:17,707
What do you think
you're doing?

1169
00:56:17,708 --> 00:56:19,608
But that's what
makes it fun.

1170
00:56:19,610 --> 00:56:23,080
The thrill of doing
it in front of others.

1171
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:27,520
I do, but I thought we were
going to go out and have dinner

1172
00:56:27,518 --> 00:56:29,718
And then maybe fumble
with our clothes later.

1173
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,620
Oh, just an old-fashioned.

1174
00:56:32,623 --> 00:56:34,093
How cute.

1175
00:56:41,165 --> 00:56:43,465
Oh.

1176
00:56:43,467 --> 00:56:44,997
We were just leaving.

1177
00:56:45,002 --> 00:56:46,702
Come on. Let's go.
We got to go.

1178
00:56:46,704 --> 00:56:48,474
I'm sorry.
She wasn't feeling well.

1179
00:56:48,472 --> 00:56:50,172
I had to take care
of her.

1180
00:56:51,508 --> 00:56:52,808
Mom. Monique.

1181
00:56:52,810 --> 00:56:54,110
- Bye.
- Bye.

1182
00:56:54,111 --> 00:56:55,781
- Have fun.
- See you later.

1183
00:57:00,517 --> 00:57:03,017
- Thank you.
- Always a kidder.

1184
00:57:04,587 --> 00:57:06,047
Bye, mom, bye, dad.

1185
00:57:13,696 --> 00:57:15,196
You know what?

1186
00:57:15,199 --> 00:57:19,599
I get the feeling that we're
not supposed to be here.

1187
00:57:19,603 --> 00:57:21,873
Don't be silly.

1188
00:57:21,872 --> 00:57:24,142
I practically live here.

1189
00:57:32,649 --> 00:57:36,649
Would you mind doing me
a teensy weensy favor?

1190
00:57:36,654 --> 00:57:38,794
Uh-oh.
What?

1191
00:57:38,789 --> 00:57:41,589
Would you mind
putting this on?

1192
00:57:44,195 --> 00:57:45,985
That's very funny.

1193
00:57:45,996 --> 00:57:47,856
Pretty please?

1194
00:57:47,865 --> 00:57:50,165
Are you serious?

1195
00:57:50,167 --> 00:57:53,137
It really turns me on.

1196
00:57:54,671 --> 00:57:56,941
<I>really</i> turns me on.

1197
00:57:59,175 --> 00:58:01,805
Well, if it turns you on...

1198
00:58:01,812 --> 00:58:04,052
It turns me on.

1199
00:58:17,260 --> 00:58:18,930
Monique?

1200
00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:23,698
Monique?

1201
00:58:23,701 --> 00:58:25,571
I'm over here.

1202
00:58:34,979 --> 00:58:38,079
I feel like I'm going
deep sea fishing.

1203
00:58:38,082 --> 00:58:39,152
You are.

1204
00:58:39,149 --> 00:58:40,649
Yeah?

1205
00:59:11,247 --> 00:59:12,777
Harry, look at this.

1206
00:59:12,783 --> 00:59:14,253
Oh, my god.

1207
00:59:14,251 --> 00:59:18,991
Fuck me.
Fuck me.

1208
00:59:18,989 --> 00:59:21,059
What's going on?
What are they selling?

1209
00:59:25,762 --> 00:59:27,802
<I>fuck me.</I>

1210
00:59:27,798 --> 00:59:29,898
Okay.

1211
00:59:32,035 --> 00:59:33,035
Ready?

1212
00:59:37,675 --> 00:59:40,235
Aah!

1213
00:59:45,715 --> 00:59:47,245
Where did I go wrong?

1214
00:59:47,251 --> 00:59:49,951
Mom, I'm so sorry.
It's not your fault.

1215
00:59:49,954 --> 00:59:54,024
My son, having sex
in front of 1,000 people.

1216
00:59:54,024 --> 00:59:56,224
It was six, tops.

1217
00:59:56,226 --> 00:59:58,886
Chuck, it's all
your fault.

1218
00:59:58,896 --> 01:00:02,196
If you hadn't let him come
out here to get corrupted.

1219
01:00:02,199 --> 01:00:04,829
In fact,
if your mother were alive today

1220
01:00:04,835 --> 01:00:06,995
To see what you have done to her grandson--

1221
01:00:07,004 --> 01:00:08,704
Oh, shut up.

1222
01:00:08,706 --> 01:00:10,236
Let's just get the hell
out of here.

1223
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:11,670
You shut up.

1224
01:00:11,675 --> 01:00:14,305
And don't you ever tell me to shut up again.

1225
01:00:14,311 --> 01:00:16,281
Never, as long
as you live.

1226
01:00:17,781 --> 01:00:21,881
You just wait
until I tell my sister

1227
01:00:21,885 --> 01:00:24,645
Back in cleveland how
you're living out here.

1228
01:00:24,655 --> 01:00:25,845
It's disgusting.

1229
01:00:25,856 --> 01:00:27,356
Have a nice trip, aunt macie.

1230
01:00:28,825 --> 01:00:31,125
Mace, just get in the car.

1231
01:00:38,368 --> 01:00:39,698
Dad.

1232
01:00:41,071 --> 01:00:42,341
Shh, shh, shh.

1233
01:00:42,339 --> 01:00:43,969
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.

1234
01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:47,684
It'll all blow over, okay?
Just give her a couple of weeks.

1235
01:00:47,678 --> 01:00:49,008
I'll handle it.
Hmm? Hmm?

1236
01:00:49,013 --> 01:00:50,813
Okay, dad.

1237
01:00:50,814 --> 01:00:52,384
I love you.

1238
01:00:52,383 --> 01:00:53,953
I love you.

1239
01:00:56,085 --> 01:00:57,685
Sucker.

1240
01:00:59,255 --> 01:01:01,855
Mom, I'll call
you tomorrow, okay?

1241
01:01:04,428 --> 01:01:05,958
See you, chuck.

1242
01:01:05,963 --> 01:01:11,733
<I>this has been the most</i>
<i>embarrassing night of my life.</I>

1243
01:01:11,735 --> 01:01:12,965
Okay, look, but I got
a plan, okay?

1244
01:01:12,970 --> 01:01:14,900
See, your ad agency
is throwing a party

1245
01:01:14,905 --> 01:01:16,195
This weekend at the house.

1246
01:01:16,206 --> 01:01:17,236
What? Our house?

1247
01:01:17,241 --> 01:01:19,041
That's right, our house.

1248
01:01:19,043 --> 01:01:20,983
You see, every time these big
honchos from out of town come in,

1249
01:01:20,978 --> 01:01:24,048
They throw this party,
so what I want you to do is,

1250
01:01:24,048 --> 01:01:27,918
You bring her to the party,
you impress the shit out of her,

1251
01:01:27,918 --> 01:01:29,218
And then maybe
you'll get laid,

1252
01:01:29,219 --> 01:01:32,049
And it might
even be in a bed.

1253
01:01:35,024 --> 01:01:36,024
Hi.

1254
01:01:36,026 --> 01:01:39,756
Well, if it isn't
romeo again.

1255
01:01:39,763 --> 01:01:41,833
It's 2:30.

1256
01:01:41,832 --> 01:01:43,002
You're an hour late.

1257
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:44,700
I know, I had a rough night.

1258
01:01:44,702 --> 01:01:45,802
What happened?

1259
01:01:45,803 --> 01:01:47,073
Her husband come
home too early?

1260
01:01:47,071 --> 01:01:48,971
<I>i'm sorry.</I>

1261
01:01:48,972 --> 01:01:50,772
I'll let her know
you're here.

1262
01:01:50,774 --> 01:01:54,184
Video valentine,
take 429. Rolling.

1263
01:01:54,178 --> 01:01:55,978
Action.

1264
01:01:57,380 --> 01:02:02,080
Hello, allow me
to introduce myself.

1265
01:02:02,086 --> 01:02:04,986
My name is edward hayes iii,

1266
01:02:04,988 --> 01:02:07,488
<I>i am looking for a young,</i>

1267
01:02:07,491 --> 01:02:09,491
Urban, professional woman

1268
01:02:09,493 --> 01:02:12,193
Who isn't into
one night flings,

1269
01:02:12,196 --> 01:02:14,326
Who would enjoy
eating white wine

1270
01:02:14,331 --> 01:02:18,071
And brie while
we watch a polo match.

1271
01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:22,098
Or perhaps a drive in my
jaguar, or maybe yours,

1272
01:02:22,106 --> 01:02:23,936
<I>and then,</i>

1273
01:02:23,941 --> 01:02:26,981
<I>as we're standing</i>
<i>of the bow on my yacht,</i>

1274
01:02:26,977 --> 01:02:29,207
I'll turn to you and say.

1275
01:02:29,213 --> 01:02:32,513
<I>voulez, voulez vu</i>
<i>de voulez, vu?</I>

1276
01:02:44,194 --> 01:02:47,064
It's a little
bit different.

1277
01:02:47,064 --> 01:02:49,234
I'm just going to go
touch up my makeup.

1278
01:02:49,233 --> 01:02:51,033
I'll be back
in a minute, okay?

1279
01:02:51,034 --> 01:02:52,274
Okay.

1280
01:03:01,911 --> 01:03:03,551
Whoa, look at you.

1281
01:03:03,547 --> 01:03:06,107
Nice going, man.
She's beautiful.

1282
01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:07,146
Thank you.

1283
01:03:07,151 --> 01:03:08,921
Yeah, she's
really great.

1284
01:03:08,919 --> 01:03:10,149
You keep your hands
off her, okay?

1285
01:03:10,154 --> 01:03:12,224
What am I going to do?

1286
01:03:12,222 --> 01:03:14,122
Try to pick up
your girl?

1287
01:03:14,124 --> 01:03:16,294
I'm your cousin, man.
I wouldn't do that.

1288
01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:20,003
Listen, she's nice.
She likes me.

1289
01:03:19,997 --> 01:03:22,057
Look, I think
this is your night.

1290
01:03:22,065 --> 01:03:23,525
Why?

1291
01:03:23,534 --> 01:03:26,074
There's some very important
people here from vidiocity,

1292
01:03:26,069 --> 01:03:28,099
Especially the head
of the new york office,

1293
01:03:28,105 --> 01:03:29,905
Kelly bones.

1294
01:03:29,907 --> 01:03:32,307
- You have to talk to her, it's very important.
- All right.

1295
01:03:32,309 --> 01:03:34,009
As soon as she gets here,
I'm going to point her out to you, okay?

1296
01:03:34,011 --> 01:03:35,541
Yeah.

1297
01:03:35,546 --> 01:03:38,406
- See you later man, have fun.
- All right, skip.

1298
01:03:38,415 --> 01:03:39,575
Oh, my god.

1299
01:03:39,583 --> 01:03:41,483
Peggy.

1300
01:03:41,485 --> 01:03:42,945
Peggy?

1301
01:03:42,953 --> 01:03:46,193
Well, if it isn't don juan.
What are you doing here?

1302
01:03:46,190 --> 01:03:48,120
Me? Well, I happen
to live here.

1303
01:03:48,125 --> 01:03:51,225
Sure, just like the movie
studio and the rock band.

1304
01:03:51,228 --> 01:03:52,928
I know, I know.
But it's true.

1305
01:03:52,930 --> 01:03:57,400
I happen to know that an
advertising agency owns this place

1306
01:03:57,401 --> 01:04:00,401
And they rent it out to my
friend jeff for photo sessions.

1307
01:04:00,404 --> 01:04:01,544
- Really?
- Yeah.

1308
01:04:01,538 --> 01:04:02,598
He's a friend
of yours?

1309
01:04:02,606 --> 01:04:03,966
- Yeah.
- Well, I know.

1310
01:04:03,974 --> 01:04:05,544
They do some work here,
but I live here.

1311
01:04:05,542 --> 01:04:07,982
I don't know whether
to believe you or not.

1312
01:04:07,978 --> 01:04:09,208
Well..

1313
01:04:09,213 --> 01:04:11,153
I guess
it doesn't matter.

1314
01:04:11,148 --> 01:04:12,978
No.

1315
01:04:12,983 --> 01:04:14,953
You want
to get a drink?

1316
01:04:19,355 --> 01:04:22,455
Anyway, weren't you
here with someone?

1317
01:04:22,459 --> 01:04:24,159
Hmm?

1318
01:04:24,161 --> 01:04:29,231
And she happens
to be my perfect match.

1319
01:04:29,233 --> 01:04:30,473
She's not perfect.

1320
01:04:30,467 --> 01:04:32,467
She is going
out with you.

1321
01:04:32,469 --> 01:04:34,899
<I>just kidding.</I>

1322
01:04:34,905 --> 01:04:37,065
So, I guess you won't be
coming in anymore.

1323
01:04:37,074 --> 01:04:39,574
- No, I guess not.
- <I>too bad.</I>

1324
01:04:39,576 --> 01:04:42,206
I was starting to look
forward to your tapes.

1325
01:04:42,212 --> 01:04:43,512
God knows why.

1326
01:04:43,513 --> 01:04:45,483
Well, I was starting
to look forward

1327
01:04:45,482 --> 01:04:47,282
To our little discussions.

1328
01:04:47,284 --> 01:04:49,224
God knows why.

1329
01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:51,189
Well, you found
ms. Right.

1330
01:04:51,188 --> 01:04:54,288
But you found
mr. Right.

1331
01:04:55,625 --> 01:04:58,525
So, why are you
sitting here with me?

1332
01:04:58,528 --> 01:05:02,258
Because I like the way the chive's
stuck between your teeth.

1333
01:05:02,266 --> 01:05:04,196
No.

1334
01:05:04,201 --> 01:05:06,071
I'm just kidding.

1335
01:05:07,003 --> 01:05:09,173
Eddie. She's here.

1336
01:05:09,172 --> 01:05:10,472
Hmm?

1337
01:05:10,474 --> 01:05:12,214
Oh... Skip, peggy.

1338
01:05:12,209 --> 01:05:13,239
- Hi.
- Hi.

1339
01:05:13,243 --> 01:05:14,483
Okay.
I'll be right there.

1340
01:05:14,478 --> 01:05:16,378
- Come on.
- Okay, okay. Thanks.

1341
01:05:18,180 --> 01:05:20,050
Well.

1342
01:05:20,050 --> 01:05:21,380
Bye.

1343
01:05:24,487 --> 01:05:25,987
Bye.

1344
01:05:29,091 --> 01:05:30,991
What do you do?

1345
01:05:30,994 --> 01:05:34,204
I'm an actor/psychic.

1346
01:05:34,197 --> 01:05:35,997
Really? So am i.

1347
01:05:35,999 --> 01:05:38,299
I should have
known that.

1348
01:05:38,302 --> 01:05:42,402
Kelly, kelly, kelly.

1349
01:05:42,406 --> 01:05:47,106
<I>well, it's not as if jack</i>
<i>doesn't have my number.</I>

1350
01:05:47,110 --> 01:05:48,480
It was his idea
to have dinner.

1351
01:05:48,478 --> 01:05:50,378
I'll call him,
I'll talk to him.

1352
01:05:50,380 --> 01:05:52,380
I'll bury him.

1353
01:05:53,717 --> 01:05:59,287
When you sold them on
coupons for the blind?

1354
01:05:59,289 --> 01:06:00,459
What a concept.

1355
01:06:00,457 --> 01:06:02,217
Concepts, newcomb,
are everything.

1356
01:06:02,225 --> 01:06:05,185
If you don't have a concept,
you don't have a product.

1357
01:06:05,195 --> 01:06:06,455
Hi.

1358
01:06:08,264 --> 01:06:09,264
Who are you?

1359
01:06:09,266 --> 01:06:10,266
Hayes.

1360
01:06:10,267 --> 01:06:11,567
What are you doing here?

1361
01:06:11,568 --> 01:06:13,538
I live here.

1362
01:06:13,537 --> 01:06:17,437
Ms. Bones, ed hayes,
I work for you.

1363
01:06:17,441 --> 01:06:18,441
You do?

1364
01:06:18,442 --> 01:06:19,672
Yeah, as a matter of fact,

1365
01:06:19,676 --> 01:06:21,376
I'm in charge
of alternate media.

1366
01:06:23,179 --> 01:06:24,449
Newcomb, tell you
about that?

1367
01:06:24,448 --> 01:06:26,248
No, he didn't.

1368
01:06:26,249 --> 01:06:27,979
You little rascal.

1369
01:06:27,985 --> 01:06:29,445
What's
this all about?

1370
01:06:29,453 --> 01:06:33,023
Uh, he's in, uh...

1371
01:06:33,023 --> 01:06:35,423
Handbills
and flyers.

1372
01:06:36,592 --> 01:06:39,032
This is my wife, betty.

1373
01:06:39,029 --> 01:06:40,299
Hi.

1374
01:06:40,297 --> 01:06:41,497
How do you do?

1375
01:06:41,498 --> 01:06:43,368
Excuse me.

1376
01:06:44,500 --> 01:06:46,700
Yes.
Ms. Bones?

1377
01:06:47,703 --> 01:06:50,113
I'm going after
the mtv generation.

1378
01:06:50,107 --> 01:06:53,207
Now, that's like
the zero generation,

1379
01:06:53,210 --> 01:06:55,180
Just a bit more yuppie.

1380
01:06:55,178 --> 01:06:58,778
Well, you seem to know
a lot about advertising.

1381
01:06:58,782 --> 01:07:00,722
What other firms
have you been with?

1382
01:07:00,717 --> 01:07:02,147
Well.

1383
01:07:02,152 --> 01:07:04,652
In cleveland I was
with a very small firm.

1384
01:07:04,654 --> 01:07:06,394
<I>you've probably</i>
<i>never heard of them.</I>

1385
01:07:06,390 --> 01:07:07,690
Oh, sure I have.

1386
01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:10,361
No, they were very small.

1387
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,400
Well, was it
pinky and chico?

1388
01:07:14,330 --> 01:07:16,600
Hmm? Yeah.
That's it.

1389
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:17,730
Pinky and chico.

1390
01:07:17,734 --> 01:07:19,404
Huh.

1391
01:07:19,403 --> 01:07:22,103
I was the head
of their youth department.

1392
01:07:22,105 --> 01:07:23,295
Nice try, kid.

1393
01:07:23,306 --> 01:07:26,306
Pinky and chico
are my dogs.

1394
01:07:28,377 --> 01:07:31,077
Oh, don't worry,
I like a man who lies.

1395
01:07:31,814 --> 01:07:33,484
But just not to me.

1396
01:07:33,483 --> 01:07:35,653
Newcomb...

1397
01:07:35,652 --> 01:07:37,352
Promote this kid.

1398
01:07:38,387 --> 01:07:40,617
I want to see him in the staff
meeting monday morning.

1399
01:07:41,590 --> 01:07:45,260
But-- kelly.

1400
01:07:45,262 --> 01:07:47,432
Don't but me, newcomb,
just do it.

1401
01:07:47,431 --> 01:07:49,401
Thank you.
Thank you very much.

1402
01:07:49,399 --> 01:07:52,329
Don't thank me,
ed, just be there.

1403
01:07:52,335 --> 01:07:53,735
Yes, ma'am.

1404
01:07:58,407 --> 01:08:01,737
Hayes, you little twerp.

1405
01:08:03,312 --> 01:08:05,452
Chill out.

1406
01:08:09,285 --> 01:08:11,385
Okay. Half-hour.

1407
01:08:11,388 --> 01:08:13,418
All right, bye.

1408
01:08:19,395 --> 01:08:20,425
There you are.

1409
01:08:20,430 --> 01:08:22,600
I've been looking
all over for you.

1410
01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:24,169
Yeah?

1411
01:08:24,167 --> 01:08:26,727
Well, I've been making a little
bullshit go a long way.

1412
01:08:26,736 --> 01:08:30,166
No kidding?

1413
01:08:30,173 --> 01:08:33,713
Um, let me talk to her a second.
I'll be right there, okay?

1414
01:08:33,710 --> 01:08:34,710
Okay.

1415
01:08:34,711 --> 01:08:37,151
Okay, bye.

1416
01:08:40,182 --> 01:08:41,422
You leaving?

1417
01:08:41,418 --> 01:08:42,648
Yeah.

1418
01:08:42,652 --> 01:08:44,552
Well, I was hoping
maybe we could talk,

1419
01:08:44,554 --> 01:08:46,254
You know,
a little bit more.

1420
01:08:46,256 --> 01:08:48,786
With who?
Mr. Multiple personalities?

1421
01:08:48,792 --> 01:08:51,262
Are you talking about
what happened in there?

1422
01:08:51,261 --> 01:08:52,391
<I>okay.</I>

1423
01:08:52,395 --> 01:08:55,225
I didn't want
to lie to that lady,

1424
01:08:55,232 --> 01:08:56,532
But it just goes to
show that sometimes

1425
01:08:56,533 --> 01:08:58,803
It's better not to tell
the whole truth.

1426
01:08:58,802 --> 01:09:01,572
Look, eddie,

1427
01:09:01,571 --> 01:09:04,241
It really was
nice talking to you,

1428
01:09:04,241 --> 01:09:06,341
Bu you got a girl, remember?

1429
01:09:06,343 --> 01:09:08,413
Come on, peggy, let's go.

1430
01:09:08,411 --> 01:09:10,551
Well, you better
get going.

1431
01:09:10,547 --> 01:09:12,847
You don't want to keep your
boyfriend waiting, do you?

1432
01:09:14,150 --> 01:09:15,450
No.

1433
01:09:15,452 --> 01:09:16,652
I don't.

1434
01:09:24,860 --> 01:09:25,930
Bye.

1435
01:09:25,929 --> 01:09:28,229
Sorry.

1436
01:09:29,365 --> 01:09:30,595
I'm sorry about that.

1437
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:32,330
Who was that?

1438
01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:34,465
Oh, it was just this girl who
was just bothering me all night.

1439
01:09:35,671 --> 01:09:38,411
Why don't you take me
on a tour of the house?

1440
01:09:38,408 --> 01:09:39,808
Tour of the house?

1441
01:09:39,809 --> 01:09:41,579
I'd like that.

1442
01:09:44,213 --> 01:09:46,353
Are you talking
about rick?

1443
01:09:46,349 --> 01:09:48,679
The one with
the curved weenie?

1444
01:09:48,685 --> 01:09:52,185
That thing goes around
corners before he does.

1445
01:09:52,189 --> 01:09:54,319
I haven't been able
to walk straight for a week.

1446
01:10:08,304 --> 01:10:10,944
I'm going to go
put this on.

1447
01:10:10,941 --> 01:10:13,311
I'll be back
in a minute, okay?

1448
01:10:13,310 --> 01:10:14,540
Okay.

1449
01:10:15,978 --> 01:10:17,848
So, I'm off the coast
of jamaica, right?

1450
01:10:17,847 --> 01:10:19,807
I'm in this
cigarette boat,

1451
01:10:19,816 --> 01:10:22,576
I don't realize how
badly wounded I am.

1452
01:10:22,586 --> 01:10:25,446
I'm going 150 miles
an hour on the water.

1453
01:10:25,455 --> 01:10:27,755
I'm just slamming
into the waves,

1454
01:10:27,757 --> 01:10:30,757
I'm, like, plunging into
darkness, you know?

1455
01:10:30,760 --> 01:10:36,400
There's foam-- it's spraying
all over my chest and down.

1456
01:10:36,399 --> 01:10:40,969
<I>♪ you're the one I dream of</i>
<i>when I go to sleep at night ♪</i>

1457
01:10:40,971 --> 01:10:42,441
<I>♪ you're fun to be with... ♪</I>

1458
01:10:42,439 --> 01:10:44,709
Well, what do you think?

1459
01:10:44,708 --> 01:10:47,678
Unbelievable.

1460
01:10:55,451 --> 01:10:58,391
Does the name penod
mean anything to you?

1461
01:10:58,388 --> 01:10:59,488
Yes.

1462
01:10:59,489 --> 01:11:01,619
That was my name
in a previous life.

1463
01:11:01,625 --> 01:11:03,655
- Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god.

1464
01:11:03,660 --> 01:11:05,560
Sylvia?

1465
01:11:05,562 --> 01:11:07,032
Penod, what happened
to you?

1466
01:11:07,030 --> 01:11:08,960
You went out for a bundle of sticks,
you never came back.

1467
01:11:08,965 --> 01:11:12,525
Sylvia, it rained for 40
days and 40 nights, okay?

1468
01:11:12,535 --> 01:11:16,365
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Wait. Wait.

1469
01:11:16,373 --> 01:11:17,513
What?

1470
01:11:17,507 --> 01:11:21,307
I'm not the guy
in the video tape.

1471
01:11:21,311 --> 01:11:23,481
I mean, I am the guy,
it was me,

1472
01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:26,780
But that's not me because
I don't have any money,

1473
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:28,523
And I don't
have a jaguar,

1474
01:11:28,518 --> 01:11:29,818
And I don't
have a yacht.

1475
01:11:29,819 --> 01:11:33,389
I don't even eat brie.
I hate brie.

1476
01:11:34,657 --> 01:11:37,827
Look, I just want you
to like me for me.

1477
01:11:37,827 --> 01:11:39,327
I do.

1478
01:11:39,329 --> 01:11:40,959
I like a man who's honest.

1479
01:11:40,964 --> 01:11:42,864
Kiss me.

1480
01:11:50,606 --> 01:11:53,066
<I>see that dog over there?</I>

1481
01:11:53,076 --> 01:11:54,806
You mean spuds mackenzie,
the party animal?

1482
01:11:54,811 --> 01:11:58,551
That's not spuds mackenzie.
That's his look-alike.

1483
01:11:58,548 --> 01:12:01,678
<I>that's the kinda bullshit that</i>
<i>goes down in this town.</I> - <i>i'll say.</I>

1484
01:12:01,685 --> 01:12:03,815
Look at him,
working the room.

1485
01:12:07,589 --> 01:12:10,019
Tracey.

1486
01:12:10,959 --> 01:12:12,589
<I>tracey?</I>

1487
01:12:18,734 --> 01:12:20,444
Ahem!

1488
01:12:23,372 --> 01:12:25,642
Excuse me, buckwheat.

1489
01:12:25,642 --> 01:12:27,642
Do you know this guy?

1490
01:12:27,644 --> 01:12:29,414
Grow up, sparky.

1491
01:12:29,412 --> 01:12:31,582
At least he didn't stand me
up three nights in a row.

1492
01:12:31,581 --> 01:12:33,551
Uh-oh.

1493
01:12:33,550 --> 01:12:35,820
Don't ever talk to me
like that again.

1494
01:12:35,819 --> 01:12:38,589
Don't flex your muscles around here,
we're not impressed.

1495
01:12:38,588 --> 01:12:39,918
I'm impressed.

1496
01:12:39,923 --> 01:12:41,723
You're history, pally.

1497
01:12:41,725 --> 01:12:43,055
The party's over.

1498
01:12:43,059 --> 01:12:44,129
Oh, grow up.

1499
01:12:44,127 --> 01:12:45,557
You're such a child.

1500
01:12:45,562 --> 01:12:47,902
I'll be back for your lesson
in a minute.

1501
01:12:47,897 --> 01:12:49,527
Let's go, knuckle beat.

1502
01:12:49,532 --> 01:12:50,532
Yes, sparky.

1503
01:12:50,533 --> 01:12:51,703
Come on, get out.

1504
01:12:51,701 --> 01:12:53,101
<I>please!</I>

1505
01:12:53,103 --> 01:12:54,373
<I>you having fun yet?</I>

1506
01:12:55,672 --> 01:12:57,642
<I>oh!</I>

1507
01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:00,710
Oh, man.

1508
01:13:03,412 --> 01:13:04,952
<I>well, that must hurt.</I>

1509
01:13:04,948 --> 01:13:08,618
Guess it wasn't your
night after all. Huh?

1510
01:13:10,853 --> 01:13:13,453
You know, I got some bad
news this morning.

1511
01:13:14,390 --> 01:13:17,020
Your mom called my mom.

1512
01:13:17,026 --> 01:13:19,056
No more trust fund,

1513
01:13:19,062 --> 01:13:21,862
No more checks,
no more credit cards.

1514
01:13:21,865 --> 01:13:24,065
You mean with
your winning smile

1515
01:13:24,067 --> 01:13:25,727
And your "hey, dude"
attitude,

1516
01:13:25,735 --> 01:13:27,695
You couldn't bullshit
your parents anymore?

1517
01:13:29,606 --> 01:13:32,466
Hey, man,
why don't you ease up here a little? Okay?

1518
01:13:32,475 --> 01:13:34,075
I mean, my chicks
have run off

1519
01:13:34,077 --> 01:13:35,837
With some producer
at the party last night.

1520
01:13:35,845 --> 01:13:38,775
Well, someone must have come
along with a better line of b.s.

1521
01:13:38,782 --> 01:13:41,622
So much for your style
over substance.

1522
01:13:41,618 --> 01:13:42,718
Now what are you
going to do?

1523
01:13:42,719 --> 01:13:44,149
I don't know.

1524
01:13:44,154 --> 01:13:47,664
I have never been this
close to reality before.

1525
01:13:48,590 --> 01:13:49,860
I'll do
something though.

1526
01:13:49,859 --> 01:13:51,559
I'm going to come
up with some scam.

1527
01:13:51,561 --> 01:13:53,531
I don't know, but--
you got any ideas?

1528
01:13:53,530 --> 01:13:54,600
- Huh?
- <I>yeah.</I>

1529
01:13:54,597 --> 01:13:56,057
Maybe you could
get off your ass

1530
01:13:56,065 --> 01:13:58,425
And do something
constructive with your life

1531
01:13:58,435 --> 01:14:00,025
Instead of walking around
pretending to be something

1532
01:14:00,036 --> 01:14:03,766
You're not and acting
like such an asshole.

1533
01:14:03,773 --> 01:14:06,113
That's a wrong answer.

1534
01:14:06,109 --> 01:14:08,609
That is a wrong answer
from you, eddie.

1535
01:14:08,611 --> 01:14:09,911
I don't need this shit.
You know that?

1536
01:14:14,716 --> 01:14:17,186
I grow exotic herbs
in oregon,

1537
01:14:17,187 --> 01:14:20,717
And I'm looking for a
special girl, you know,

1538
01:14:20,723 --> 01:14:23,193
Like the kind of girl who
can rebuild a carburetor...

1539
01:14:23,193 --> 01:14:24,693
I like old movies...

1540
01:14:24,694 --> 01:14:27,464
Into french cuisine,
greek culture,

1541
01:14:27,464 --> 01:14:28,764
And water sports,
if you know what I mean.

1542
01:14:28,765 --> 01:14:30,765
...just like a little
wisp of pubic hair.

1543
01:14:30,767 --> 01:14:32,767
I like a girl
with a big ego.

1544
01:14:32,769 --> 01:14:33,869
Oh, yeah, and bodybuilding.

1545
01:14:33,870 --> 01:14:35,840
Bodybuilding?

1546
01:14:35,839 --> 01:14:39,569
Yeah, yeah. Well, I've won
a couple of contests.

1547
01:14:39,576 --> 01:14:40,706
What?

1548
01:14:40,710 --> 01:14:41,710
Mr. Pacoima.

1549
01:14:41,711 --> 01:14:42,981
More like
mr. Potato head.

1550
01:14:42,979 --> 01:14:45,179
<I>hi. Can I help you?</I>

1551
01:14:45,181 --> 01:14:48,781
Uh, yes, I had this video made,
and unfortunately...

1552
01:14:49,852 --> 01:14:51,092
<I>eddie.</I>

1553
01:14:51,087 --> 01:14:52,747
<I>what happened?</I>

1554
01:14:52,755 --> 01:14:54,255
Are you okay?

1555
01:14:54,257 --> 01:14:55,857
Yeah, I'm fine.

1556
01:14:55,859 --> 01:14:59,189
I just had a little
on-the-job accident.

1557
01:14:59,195 --> 01:15:01,695
Eddie.

1558
01:15:01,698 --> 01:15:04,268
Something I kind of wanted
to talk to you about.

1559
01:15:04,267 --> 01:15:05,497
What?

1560
01:15:05,502 --> 01:15:09,072
It's about, um, me
and my lifeguard.

1561
01:15:13,742 --> 01:15:15,542
Peggy, tell me.

1562
01:15:15,545 --> 01:15:17,875
No, never mind.
It's nothing.

1563
01:15:18,881 --> 01:15:20,151
I got to go.

1564
01:15:20,149 --> 01:15:22,849
I'll talk to you later, okay?

1565
01:15:22,852 --> 01:15:24,822
Yeah, sure.

1566
01:15:32,728 --> 01:15:34,928
What happened to you?

1567
01:15:34,931 --> 01:15:37,831
Hang gliding.

1568
01:15:37,834 --> 01:15:40,944
Next time you ought to hang on to the glider.

1569
01:15:40,937 --> 01:15:42,797
Hang on to the glider.

1570
01:15:42,805 --> 01:15:45,735
Hey, what are they filming
train wrecks here now?

1571
01:15:45,742 --> 01:15:48,882
Hey. Keep it
down out here.

1572
01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:50,908
<I>i can't hear</i>
<i>myself breathe.</I>

1573
01:15:50,914 --> 01:15:54,824
Well, if it isn't
little romeo.

1574
01:15:54,817 --> 01:15:55,817
Yes, ma'am.

1575
01:15:55,818 --> 01:15:57,218
<I>it's my last time.</I>

1576
01:15:57,220 --> 01:15:58,950
Oh, well, it's lucky
you came by today

1577
01:15:58,955 --> 01:16:00,685
Because we're
closed tomorrow

1578
01:16:00,690 --> 01:16:03,960
In honor of the great
occasion, right, peggy?

1579
01:16:03,960 --> 01:16:05,560
Right.

1580
01:16:06,995 --> 01:16:09,825
Aw, what the hell,
you've paid your dues, kid.

1581
01:16:09,832 --> 01:16:11,132
You go next.

1582
01:16:11,134 --> 01:16:13,034
- Wait a minute.
- I've been here--

1583
01:16:13,036 --> 01:16:14,266
Hey!

1584
01:16:18,774 --> 01:16:20,944
Or she'll bail
you out of jail.

1585
01:16:20,944 --> 01:16:22,844
<I>cut. Time's up.</I>
<i>ha ha.</I>

1586
01:16:22,845 --> 01:16:24,575
I think we have all
we need, mr. Kaminsky.

1587
01:16:24,581 --> 01:16:25,881
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

1588
01:16:27,816 --> 01:16:31,016
Now, if this is your
last visit, ed,

1589
01:16:31,020 --> 01:16:33,020
It's your last chance
for romance.

1590
01:16:33,022 --> 01:16:35,262
So, let's be
up and sexy.

1591
01:16:35,258 --> 01:16:37,988
No one ever got
a date by being a dud.

1592
01:16:37,994 --> 01:16:39,934
Are you a dud?

1593
01:16:39,929 --> 01:16:40,999
Yeah.

1594
01:16:40,997 --> 01:16:42,657
Mm-hmm.
That a boy.

1595
01:16:42,665 --> 01:16:43,695
Of course not.

1596
01:16:43,700 --> 01:16:44,930
Action.

1597
01:16:45,968 --> 01:16:47,738
Look.

1598
01:16:47,737 --> 01:16:50,807
I just have one thing I want to
say to you women out there.

1599
01:16:50,807 --> 01:16:53,737
Whatever happened to
old-fashioned romance?

1600
01:16:53,743 --> 01:16:56,343
<I>i mean, it used to be</i>
<i>two people could meet,</i>

1601
01:16:56,346 --> 01:16:58,946
Maybe they'd fall in love,

1602
01:16:58,948 --> 01:17:00,678
But now that can't happen,

1603
01:17:00,683 --> 01:17:02,723
'Cause nobody knows
who they are anymore.

1604
01:17:02,719 --> 01:17:04,719
<I>so, what is it, is it me?</I>

1605
01:17:04,721 --> 01:17:05,891
<I>i don't know.</I>

1606
01:17:05,888 --> 01:17:08,888
Hey, wake up out there,
I'm talking to you.

1607
01:17:08,891 --> 01:17:12,661
Listen, why do people have to make
up who they are in order to be liked?

1608
01:17:12,662 --> 01:17:14,632
<I>you would think that</i>
<i>in this crazy world,</i>

1609
01:17:14,631 --> 01:17:17,001
There'd be a simple way
for two people to meet

1610
01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:19,370
And fall in love, but no,
that's not possible,

1611
01:17:19,369 --> 01:17:23,899
You have to make up
some cockamamie persona.

1612
01:17:23,906 --> 01:17:26,236
Why can't we get past what
kind of cars we drive

1613
01:17:26,242 --> 01:17:29,112
And what we look like and
what kind of jobs we have?

1614
01:17:29,112 --> 01:17:31,012
That stuff isn't important.

1615
01:17:31,014 --> 01:17:34,354
Listen, it seems to me that the reason
why there's so many single people

1616
01:17:34,350 --> 01:17:37,950
In the world is because nobody
wants to open their hearts anymore.

1617
01:17:39,721 --> 01:17:41,321
Look, everyone has
the right to fall in love,

1618
01:17:41,324 --> 01:17:44,894
And I just don't think
you should have to make up

1619
01:17:44,894 --> 01:17:46,834
Who you are
in order to do it.

1620
01:17:46,829 --> 01:17:48,299
That's it.

1621
01:17:48,297 --> 01:17:50,127
I give up.

1622
01:17:53,769 --> 01:17:55,799
Beautiful, kid.

1623
01:17:55,805 --> 01:17:58,165
That'll be 60 bucks.

1624
01:18:00,909 --> 01:18:02,309
Whoa.

1625
01:18:02,311 --> 01:18:03,441
Unbelievable.

1626
01:18:03,446 --> 01:18:04,706
Hey, tony.

1627
01:18:04,714 --> 01:18:05,854
You're late!

1628
01:18:05,848 --> 01:18:06,978
I know, I know, I know.

1629
01:18:06,983 --> 01:18:09,823
It's-- I don't know,
man,

1630
01:18:09,819 --> 01:18:11,819
I don't think I'm going to
be working here anymore.

1631
01:18:11,821 --> 01:18:14,021
I think I'm going
to head out of town.

1632
01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:15,393
I'm out of here.

1633
01:18:17,192 --> 01:18:19,092
Uh-huh.

1634
01:18:19,095 --> 01:18:20,325
Yeah, right?

1635
01:18:22,230 --> 01:18:24,470
So, where you goin'?

1636
01:18:25,901 --> 01:18:27,801
I don't know.

1637
01:18:27,804 --> 01:18:29,044
I don't know.

1638
01:18:29,038 --> 01:18:31,908
I just don't think
l.a.'S for me. You know?

1639
01:18:31,908 --> 01:18:33,938
<I>probably go home</i>
<i>for a little while.</I>

1640
01:18:33,943 --> 01:18:37,713
<I>at least I understand</i>
<i>the people there.</I>

1641
01:18:37,714 --> 01:18:40,854
Can I ask you
a question?

1642
01:18:40,850 --> 01:18:44,050
How come you
live in that box?

1643
01:18:49,725 --> 01:18:53,055
Come here, I'll show
you something.

1644
01:19:00,869 --> 01:19:03,299
Wow.

1645
01:19:04,740 --> 01:19:07,110
<I>see, everybody lives</i>
<i>in a box, eddie.</I>

1646
01:19:07,110 --> 01:19:09,980
Now, nobody envies me,

1647
01:19:09,979 --> 01:19:13,049
I have everything I need,

1648
01:19:13,049 --> 01:19:15,349
And I make a lot
of money on the side

1649
01:19:15,351 --> 01:19:17,921
Copywriting for my brother.

1650
01:19:17,920 --> 01:19:21,960
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

1651
01:19:21,958 --> 01:19:25,528
Now, I heard that you used
to sweep mines in granada.

1652
01:19:25,528 --> 01:19:28,358
Yeah. Well, I made that up.

1653
01:19:28,364 --> 01:19:32,034
See, in this town you can make
up whoever you want to be.

1654
01:19:32,034 --> 01:19:33,074
I heard that.

1655
01:19:33,069 --> 01:19:35,299
See, my problem is,

1656
01:19:35,304 --> 01:19:38,244
What do you do when you don't
know who you want to be?

1657
01:19:38,241 --> 01:19:39,841
Well, it seems to me

1658
01:19:39,842 --> 01:19:42,242
If you just keep on the road
you're on, you'll find out.

1659
01:20:02,964 --> 01:20:05,334
Look, I'm gonna go, okay?

1660
01:20:05,334 --> 01:20:07,034
My brother called.

1661
01:20:07,036 --> 01:20:09,066
He wants to know if you're going
to be at that monday meeting.

1662
01:20:09,071 --> 01:20:11,011
You want to work
for them?

1663
01:20:11,007 --> 01:20:13,837
Monday meeting, really?

1664
01:20:14,877 --> 01:20:19,347
I kind of got in under false pretenses.
You know?

1665
01:20:19,348 --> 01:20:22,118
There's nothing wrong
with false pretenses

1666
01:20:22,118 --> 01:20:25,148
As long as you know
the difference.

1667
01:20:26,988 --> 01:20:29,188
You could be right.

1668
01:20:30,592 --> 01:20:32,492
Send me a card.

1669
01:20:34,029 --> 01:20:36,329
All right,
I'll think about it.

1670
01:20:37,599 --> 01:20:39,329
See you later, tony.

1671
01:20:40,435 --> 01:20:42,135
So long, kid.

1672
01:20:56,084 --> 01:20:59,254
Yeah, what do you think?

1673
01:20:59,255 --> 01:21:00,345
You look great, man.

1674
01:21:00,356 --> 01:21:02,356
Why are you
dressed up?

1675
01:21:02,358 --> 01:21:05,388
Well, you see,
I thought about what you said,

1676
01:21:05,394 --> 01:21:07,964
And I got a job.

1677
01:21:07,964 --> 01:21:09,464
Job?

1678
01:21:09,465 --> 01:21:10,525
Yeah.

1679
01:21:10,533 --> 01:21:12,173
You got a job?

1680
01:21:12,168 --> 01:21:14,538
I'm driving a limo, man,
it is so big, man.

1681
01:21:14,537 --> 01:21:15,997
The possibilities
are endless.

1682
01:21:16,005 --> 01:21:19,965
Well, I'm proud
of you, man.

1683
01:21:19,976 --> 01:21:21,206
What are you doing
here, man?

1684
01:21:22,477 --> 01:21:24,307
I'm going home.

1685
01:21:24,313 --> 01:21:28,323
L.a. Is not for me, so...

1686
01:21:28,317 --> 01:21:29,347
Wait, wait.

1687
01:21:29,352 --> 01:21:31,492
Have you listened
to the phone machine?

1688
01:21:31,487 --> 01:21:33,047
No. Why?

1689
01:21:33,055 --> 01:21:34,915
You got about 100 calls
from chicks.

1690
01:21:34,924 --> 01:21:36,924
You got to-- come here.

1691
01:21:38,560 --> 01:21:41,100
This phone has been
ringing off the hook.

1692
01:21:41,097 --> 01:21:43,097
I mean, I don't know what you
did at that video service,

1693
01:21:43,099 --> 01:21:44,369
But whatever you did,
it worked.

1694
01:21:44,367 --> 01:21:45,927
Listen.

1695
01:21:45,935 --> 01:21:48,065
<I>hello, eddie?</I>

1696
01:21:48,070 --> 01:21:50,500
<I>i just saw your tape,</i>
<i>and you are the most sexy</i>

1697
01:21:50,506 --> 01:21:53,066
<I>and honest guy</i>
<i>i have ever seen.</I>

1698
01:21:53,075 --> 01:21:56,075
<I>call me, donna k05-2021.</I>

1699
01:21:56,078 --> 01:22:00,378
<I>hi there, I was just</i>
<i>on the dating service,</i>

1700
01:22:00,383 --> 01:22:01,983
<I>and I just saw your tape.</I>

1701
01:22:03,285 --> 01:22:06,185
<I>you know, nobody has</i>
<i>ever affected me that way</i>

1702
01:22:06,188 --> 01:22:11,488
<I>you are so</i>
<i>incredibly sensuous.</I>

1703
01:22:11,494 --> 01:22:15,104
<I>i hope you call me because</i>
<i>i can touch your heart</i>

1704
01:22:15,097 --> 01:22:16,227
<I>just the way you touched--</i>

1705
01:22:17,433 --> 01:22:20,173
That's great, but it
doesn't really matter,

1706
01:22:20,169 --> 01:22:21,269
'Cause I'm out of here.

1707
01:22:21,270 --> 01:22:23,040
Wait, wait, wait.

1708
01:22:23,039 --> 01:22:25,039
Don't give up here, man,
because peggy kellogg called.

1709
01:22:25,041 --> 01:22:26,071
Remember her?
The party?

1710
01:22:26,075 --> 01:22:27,365
Listen.

1711
01:22:29,946 --> 01:22:33,476
<I>hi. This</i>
<i>is peggy kellogg.</I>

1712
01:22:33,482 --> 01:22:36,322
<I>um, I've never</i>
<i>done this before,</i>

1713
01:22:36,319 --> 01:22:38,219
<I>but I just wanted</i>
<i>to call you</i>

1714
01:22:38,220 --> 01:22:40,150
<I>and tell you I really</i>
<i>admired what you said.</I>

1715
01:22:40,156 --> 01:22:43,256
<I>i'm sorry I misjudged you.</I>

1716
01:22:43,259 --> 01:22:46,189
<I>i really wish I had known</i>
<i>that part of you before,</i>

1717
01:22:46,195 --> 01:22:48,055
<I>because I really like you.</I>

1718
01:22:48,064 --> 01:22:49,664
<I>anyway, I wish things</i>

1719
01:22:49,665 --> 01:22:51,465
<I>had turned out</i>
<i>differently between us.</I>

1720
01:22:51,467 --> 01:22:52,497
<I>bye.</I>

1721
01:22:53,703 --> 01:22:55,643
Yeah.

1722
01:22:55,638 --> 01:22:58,138
Oh, my god.

1723
01:23:00,342 --> 01:23:02,382
What a jerk.

1724
01:23:02,378 --> 01:23:04,008
She doesn't sound
like a jerk.

1725
01:23:04,013 --> 01:23:05,453
No, man. Not her, me.

1726
01:23:05,448 --> 01:23:07,148
I got to talk to her.

1727
01:23:07,149 --> 01:23:08,619
I got to talk
to her right now.

1728
01:23:08,617 --> 01:23:11,247
So, what's stopping you?

1729
01:23:11,253 --> 01:23:13,293
So, so, what do I do?

1730
01:23:13,289 --> 01:23:15,059
We talk to her.
We find her.

1731
01:23:15,057 --> 01:23:16,517
You need a limo?

1732
01:23:22,197 --> 01:23:27,467
<I>♪ I need love, love,</i>
<i>to ease my mind ♪</i>

1733
01:23:27,470 --> 01:23:29,700
<I>♪ and I need to find time ♪</i>

1734
01:23:29,705 --> 01:23:31,265
<I>♪ someone to call mine ♪</i>

1735
01:23:31,273 --> 01:23:34,243
<I>♪ my mama said,</i>
<i>you can't hurry love ♪</i>

1736
01:23:34,243 --> 01:23:37,753
<I>♪ no, you'll just</i>
<i>have to wait ♪</i>

1737
01:23:37,747 --> 01:23:40,677
<I>♪ she said love</i>
<i>don't come easy ♪</i>

1738
01:23:40,683 --> 01:23:42,523
<I>♪ it's a game</i>
<i>of give and take ♪</i>

1739
01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:44,688
<I>♪ you can't hurry love ♪</i>

1740
01:23:44,687 --> 01:23:47,387
<I>♪ no, you'll just</i>
<i>have to wait ♪</i>

1741
01:23:47,390 --> 01:23:50,360
<I>♪ just trust</i>
<i>in the good time ♪</i>

1742
01:23:50,359 --> 01:23:52,729
<I>♪ no matter how</i>
<i>long it takes... ♪</I>

1743
01:23:52,728 --> 01:23:54,128
Huh?

1744
01:23:54,130 --> 01:23:56,460
Can I talk to you
for a second?

1745
01:24:01,102 --> 01:24:02,372
Yeah?

1746
01:24:02,371 --> 01:24:04,671
Hi. What do you know
about this wedding?

1747
01:24:04,673 --> 01:24:06,373
What's to know?

1748
01:24:06,375 --> 01:24:07,735
Some lady who works at the
service is getting married.

1749
01:24:07,743 --> 01:24:08,743
Who?

1750
01:24:08,744 --> 01:24:10,614
I don't know.

1751
01:24:11,813 --> 01:24:13,283
Marry?

1752
01:24:13,282 --> 01:24:15,152
Gee.

1753
01:24:15,151 --> 01:24:18,421
Peggy can't marry that guy,
that's not right.

1754
01:24:18,421 --> 01:24:20,251
I got to stop her.
Thank you.

1755
01:24:20,256 --> 01:24:22,386
<I>♪ it's a game</i>
<i>of give and take ♪</i>

1756
01:24:22,391 --> 01:24:23,821
<I>♪ how long must I wait ♪</i>

1757
01:24:23,826 --> 01:24:26,726
<I>♪ how much more</i>
<i>must I take ♪</i>

1758
01:24:26,729 --> 01:24:31,329
<I>♪ before loneliness</i>
<i>will 'cause my heart ♪</i>

1759
01:24:31,333 --> 01:24:32,803
<I>♪ heart to break ♪</i>

1760
01:24:32,802 --> 01:24:36,242
<I>♪ no, I can't bear</i>
<i>to live my life alone ♪</i>

1761
01:24:36,238 --> 01:24:41,478
<I>♪ I've grown impatient</i>
<i>for a love to call my own ♪</i>

1762
01:24:41,477 --> 01:24:43,607
<I>♪ but when I feel that I ♪</i>

1763
01:24:43,612 --> 01:24:46,312
<I>♪ I can't go on ♪</i>

1764
01:24:46,315 --> 01:24:50,515
<I>♪ well, these precious</i>
<i>words keep me hanging on ♪</i>

1765
01:24:50,519 --> 01:24:52,719
<I>♪ I remember mama said ♪</i>

1766
01:24:52,721 --> 01:24:54,191
<I>♪ you can't hurry love ♪</i>

1767
01:24:54,190 --> 01:24:56,460
<I>♪ no, you'll just</i>
<i>have to wait ♪</i>

1768
01:24:56,459 --> 01:24:59,329
<I>♪ she said love</i>
<i>don't come easy ♪</i>

1769
01:24:59,328 --> 01:25:01,528
<I>♪ well, it's a game</i>
<i>of give and take ♪</i>

1770
01:25:01,530 --> 01:25:04,260
<I>♪ you can't hurry love ♪</i>

1771
01:25:04,266 --> 01:25:06,726
<I>♪ no, you'll</i>
<i>just have to wait ♪</i>

1772
01:25:06,735 --> 01:25:09,665
<I>♪ just trust</i>
<i>in a good time ♪</i>

1773
01:25:09,672 --> 01:25:11,812
<I>♪ no matter</i>
<i>how long it takes ♪</i>

1774
01:25:11,807 --> 01:25:14,407
<I>♪ now break! ♪</I>

1775
01:25:14,410 --> 01:25:18,450
<I>♪ now love, love,</i>
<i>it don't come easy ♪</i>

1776
01:25:18,447 --> 01:25:21,477
<I>♪ but I keep on waiting ♪</i>

1777
01:25:21,484 --> 01:25:25,894
<I>♪ anticipating</i>
<i>for that soft voice ♪</i>

1778
01:25:25,888 --> 01:25:27,548
<I>♪ to talk to me at night... ♪</I>

1779
01:25:27,556 --> 01:25:28,856
What are you
going to say to her?

1780
01:25:28,858 --> 01:25:30,318
I don't know, man.

1781
01:25:30,326 --> 01:25:32,656
You got to think
of something.

1782
01:25:32,661 --> 01:25:35,261
I mean, it's just
impossible to--

1783
01:25:35,264 --> 01:25:38,434
Hi, how are you doing?

1784
01:25:38,434 --> 01:25:40,574
Wait! What
are you going to say?

1785
01:25:40,569 --> 01:25:42,139
I don't know!

1786
01:25:42,138 --> 01:25:46,138
<I>♪ my mama said</i>
<i>you can't hurry love. ♪</I>

1787
01:25:46,142 --> 01:25:47,842
Come on, open up!

1788
01:25:47,843 --> 01:25:49,513
Please?

1789
01:25:49,512 --> 01:25:50,612
Oh!

1790
01:25:50,613 --> 01:25:52,683
Shh, what's the problem?

1791
01:25:52,681 --> 01:25:54,481
I'm sorry, I'm late.

1792
01:25:54,483 --> 01:25:56,183
We're with the limo company.

1793
01:25:56,185 --> 01:25:58,185
I'm with him.

1794
01:26:08,897 --> 01:26:11,497
Wait a minute,
wait, wait, wait!

1795
01:26:12,433 --> 01:26:13,433
All right. Um...

1796
01:26:15,538 --> 01:26:17,398
Go back, go back,
go back, go back.

1797
01:26:17,406 --> 01:26:18,506
Eddie, what are you doing?

1798
01:26:18,507 --> 01:26:20,567
I know, I know,
I'm really sorry.

1799
01:26:20,576 --> 01:26:24,746
Um, listen,
I've got to talk to you for a second, peggy.

1800
01:26:24,747 --> 01:26:27,307
I have been thinking
about your message

1801
01:26:27,316 --> 01:26:29,276
And I have been
such a jerk,

1802
01:26:29,285 --> 01:26:32,485
And if you're marrying this guy
for any other reason than love,

1803
01:26:32,488 --> 01:26:33,818
You're making
a mistake,

1804
01:26:33,822 --> 01:26:35,422
And I know 'cause
I almost did it.

1805
01:26:35,424 --> 01:26:37,694
Yeah.

1806
01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:39,593
I am really sorry.

1807
01:26:39,595 --> 01:26:41,795
I am. I don't know
what to do.

1808
01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:44,457
I want to go out
with her.

1809
01:26:45,500 --> 01:26:48,570
Okay. Fine.
Go ahead.

1810
01:26:48,571 --> 01:26:50,441
What?

1811
01:26:50,439 --> 01:26:52,939
Eddie, I lied to you.

1812
01:26:52,942 --> 01:26:56,512
He's not my boyfriend,
he's my brother.

1813
01:26:59,247 --> 01:27:00,447
<I>i sort of made that up.</I>

1814
01:27:00,449 --> 01:27:03,419
You know, working in
a dating service and all,

1815
01:27:03,419 --> 01:27:07,749
But I'm not getting married.

1816
01:27:07,756 --> 01:27:08,986
<I>she is.</I>

1817
01:27:10,325 --> 01:27:11,825
Hi, kid.

1818
01:27:16,631 --> 01:27:18,671
Oh, my god.

1819
01:27:20,535 --> 01:27:23,495
<I>i am so embarrassed.</I>

1820
01:27:25,540 --> 01:27:26,910
I'm sorry.

1821
01:27:26,909 --> 01:27:28,839
I'm really sorry.

1822
01:27:28,844 --> 01:27:32,284
Um, um...

1823
01:27:32,281 --> 01:27:35,621
Listen, I know this is
not the right place.

1824
01:27:35,618 --> 01:27:37,918
You know...

1825
01:27:37,920 --> 01:27:39,720
Would you go out
with me?

1826
01:27:39,722 --> 01:27:41,492
I don't know.

1827
01:27:41,490 --> 01:27:43,590
Which eddie would I be
going out with?

1828
01:27:44,826 --> 01:27:47,556
Me. This one.

1829
01:27:50,465 --> 01:27:54,265
Took you long enough
to ask.

1830
01:27:54,270 --> 01:27:56,700
I'd love to go out
with you.

1831
01:27:56,705 --> 01:27:58,335
Really?

1832
01:28:03,311 --> 01:28:04,851
Kiss her.

1833
01:28:09,984 --> 01:28:11,324
Kiss her.

1834
01:28:17,592 --> 01:28:19,362
Oh.

1835
01:28:19,361 --> 01:28:21,561
<I>aw.</I>

1836
01:28:35,410 --> 01:28:38,410
<I>♪ I watched you walk</i>
<i>into the room ♪</i>

1837
01:28:38,414 --> 01:28:42,724
<I>♪ I want to say</i>
<i>this just right ♪</i>

1838
01:28:42,718 --> 01:28:45,848
<I>♪ if you're not waitin'</i>
<i>for somebody special ♪</i>

1839
01:28:45,854 --> 01:28:49,694
<I>♪ would you be</i>
<i>with me tonight? ♪</I>

1840
01:28:49,692 --> 01:28:51,692
<I>♪ I'm a doctor,</i>
<i>i'm a lawyer ♪</i>

1841
01:28:51,694 --> 01:28:53,764
<I>♪ I'm a movie star ♪</i>

1842
01:28:53,762 --> 01:28:57,702
<I>♪ I'm an astronaut,</i>
<i>and I own this bar ♪</i>

1843
01:28:57,700 --> 01:29:01,500
<I>♪ and I'd lie to you</i>
<i>for your love ♪</i>

1844
01:29:01,503 --> 01:29:04,773
<I>♪ yes, I'd lie to you</i>
<i>for your love ♪</i>

1845
01:29:04,773 --> 01:29:08,783
<I>♪ oh, I'd lie to you</i>
<i>for your love ♪</i>

1846
01:29:08,777 --> 01:29:11,647
<I>♪ that's the truth ♪</i>

1847
01:29:29,697 --> 01:29:33,627
<I>♪ I can tell you what</i>
<i>you wanna hear ♪</i>

1848
01:29:33,635 --> 01:29:37,565
<I>♪ and some secrets</i>
<i>about myself ♪</i>

1849
01:29:37,573 --> 01:29:41,413
<I>♪ I can tell you you're</i>
<i>the only one, baby ♪</i>

1850
01:29:41,410 --> 01:29:45,080
<I>♪ there'll never</i>
<i>be nobody else ♪</i>

1851
01:29:45,080 --> 01:29:46,880
<I>♪ I'm runnin'</i>
<i>for president ♪</i>

1852
01:29:46,882 --> 01:29:48,982
<I>♪ I got money to burn ♪</i>

1853
01:29:48,984 --> 01:29:52,724
<I>♪ my heart don't ache</i>
<i>and my body don't yearn ♪</i>

1854
01:29:52,721 --> 01:29:56,421
<I>♪ and I'd lie to you</i>
<i>for your love ♪</i>

1855
01:29:56,425 --> 01:29:59,985
<I>♪ oh, I'd lie to you</i>
<i>for your love ♪</i>

1856
01:29:59,995 --> 01:30:04,765
<I>♪ yes, I'd lie</i>
<i>to you for you love ♪</i>

1857
01:30:04,767 --> 01:30:07,767
<I>♪ and that's the truth ♪</i>

1858
01:30:24,986 --> 01:30:28,586
<I>♪ maybe it would be easier ♪</i>

1859
01:30:28,590 --> 01:30:32,760
<I>♪ just to come out</i>
<i>and say it ♪</i>

1860
01:30:32,761 --> 01:30:36,801
<I>♪ I've never seen anyone ♪</i>

1861
01:30:36,799 --> 01:30:40,699
<I>♪ quite like you ♪</i>

1862
01:30:40,702 --> 01:30:43,742
<I>♪ my family comes</i>
<i>from royalty ♪</i>

1863
01:30:43,739 --> 01:30:48,009
<I>♪ on my daddy's side ♪</i>

1864
01:30:48,010 --> 01:30:51,750
<I>♪ I can read</i>
<i>your palms and cards ♪</i>

1865
01:30:51,747 --> 01:30:55,647
<I>♪ and tell you, our love</i>
<i>just can't be denied ♪</i>

1866
01:30:55,651 --> 01:31:00,051
<I>♪ I'm a doctor, I'm a lawyer,</i>
<i>i'm a movie star ♪</i>

1867
01:31:00,055 --> 01:31:03,785
<I>♪ I'm an astronaut,</i>
<i>and I own this bar ♪</i>

1868
01:31:03,792 --> 01:31:07,062
<I>♪ and I'd lie to you</i>
<i>for your love ♪</i>

1869
01:31:07,062 --> 01:31:11,532
<I>♪ I'd lie to you</i>
<i>for your love ♪</i>

1870
01:31:11,533 --> 01:31:14,773
<I>♪ yes, I'd lie to you</i>
<i>for your love ♪</i>

1871
01:31:14,770 --> 01:31:16,200
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1872
01:31:16,205 --> 01:31:18,205
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1873
01:31:18,207 --> 01:31:21,677
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1874
01:31:21,677 --> 01:31:24,947
<I>♪ and that's the truth ♪</i>

1875
01:31:26,781 --> 01:31:30,821
<I>♪ oh, that's the truth ♪</i>

1876
01:31:41,596 --> 01:31:43,726
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie, lie,</i>
<i>lie, lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1877
01:31:43,732 --> 01:31:47,232
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie to you ♪</i>

1878
01:31:47,236 --> 01:31:49,236
<I>♪ oh, lie, lie,</i>
<i>lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1879
01:31:49,238 --> 01:31:53,238
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie, lie,</i>
<i>lie, lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1880
01:31:53,242 --> 01:31:54,842
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie to you ♪</i>

1881
01:31:54,843 --> 01:31:57,183
<I>♪ oh, lie, lie,</i>
<i>lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1882
01:31:57,179 --> 01:32:00,079
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie, lie,</i>
<i>lie, lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1883
01:32:00,082 --> 01:32:02,682
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie to you ♪</i>

1884
01:32:02,684 --> 01:32:04,954
<I>♪ oh, lie, lie,</i>
<i>lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1885
01:32:04,953 --> 01:32:07,923
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie, lie,</i>
<i>lie, lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1886
01:32:07,923 --> 01:32:10,693
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie to you ♪</i>

1887
01:32:10,692 --> 01:32:13,592
<I>♪ oh, lie to you,</i>
<i>lie to you, lie to you. ♪</I>

1888
01:32:13,595 --> 01:32:16,955
<I>♪ lie, lie, lie, lie,</i>
<i>lie, lie, lie, lie ♪</i>

1889
01:32:16,965 --> 01:32:19,895
<I>♪ and that's the truth. ♪</I>

