1 00:00:08,424 --> 00:00:11,261 - What is it? - I hope it's not a robber. 2 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,966 If it is, it's the loudest, stupidest robber in the world. 3 00:00:15,142 --> 00:00:18,015 Hello, it's Simon. 4 00:00:27,493 --> 00:00:28,775 What are you guys doing up? 5 00:00:29,621 --> 00:00:31,450 I'm looking for my red-lightning ring. 6 00:00:32,709 --> 00:00:34,288 Well, don't just stand there, look. 7 00:00:34,462 --> 00:00:35,922 You never wear that ring. 8 00:00:36,089 --> 00:00:39,009 She's right. Haven't you outgrown your red-lightning phenomenon? 9 00:00:39,177 --> 00:00:42,180 If you haven't, outgrow it now. It's 1:00 in the morning. 10 00:00:42,348 --> 00:00:44,841 I've inherited Lucy's unlucky position as middle child. 11 00:00:45,018 --> 00:00:46,930 And now my lucky red-lightning ring is missing, 12 00:00:47,105 --> 00:00:48,767 just when I need it to protect me against 13 00:00:48,941 --> 00:00:50,651 the curse of the middle Camden kid. 14 00:00:50,819 --> 00:00:53,905 Should we kill him now or in the morning? 15 00:00:55,075 --> 00:00:56,655 Now. 16 00:00:57,078 --> 00:00:59,915 See? Unlucky. I'm unlucky. 17 00:02:34,804 --> 00:02:36,632 Deciding your major? 18 00:02:38,017 --> 00:02:39,845 Since it is the middle of the second semester, 19 00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:42,263 and I haven't heard you mention anything about a major, 20 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,019 I was just wondering, you know, 21 00:02:44,192 --> 00:02:46,567 as a parent who's sweating out tuition payments. 22 00:02:47,572 --> 00:02:49,483 Your clients are in the living room, honey. 23 00:02:49,658 --> 00:02:51,987 - Clients? - What would you call them? 24 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:54,913 Mentally disturbed parishioners? 25 00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,199 Church nuts? 26 00:02:57,086 --> 00:02:59,164 Don't major in psychology. 27 00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:01,050 - Why aren't they in my office? - Who? 28 00:03:01,217 --> 00:03:02,843 The church nuts. 29 00:03:03,012 --> 00:03:05,885 Oh, because the two cutest babies in the entire world 30 00:03:06,058 --> 00:03:09,726 are in the living room, and people are starting to line up to see them. 31 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,737 Ta-da. 32 00:03:21,455 --> 00:03:24,078 These are the most adorable creatures in the whole world. 33 00:03:26,128 --> 00:03:28,372 I wish I could talk Ted into having a baby. 34 00:03:30,093 --> 00:03:32,087 I have nothing against babies. 35 00:03:32,263 --> 00:03:34,174 Oh, really, since when? 36 00:03:34,349 --> 00:03:36,344 You're just showing off in front of the Reverend. 37 00:03:36,519 --> 00:03:37,634 He hates kids. 38 00:03:37,938 --> 00:03:40,727 Oh, not yours. Not these lovely children. 39 00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:43,987 Nice save. Of course, the accent helps. 40 00:03:44,154 --> 00:03:45,236 Yeah. Emily, come on. 41 00:03:45,407 --> 00:03:48,113 - I think, Reverend Camden is waiting. - Oh, okay. 42 00:03:48,286 --> 00:03:50,957 Yeah, would you like to go into the office? 43 00:03:51,124 --> 00:03:52,868 Bye-bye. 44 00:03:56,298 --> 00:03:58,091 Thank you for entertaining Emily and Ted. 45 00:03:58,259 --> 00:03:59,803 You're a big help to me. 46 00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:02,677 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 47 00:04:07,397 --> 00:04:09,107 Good. 48 00:04:12,864 --> 00:04:15,487 - I want a divorce. - Pardon? 49 00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:20,828 A divorce. I want a divorce. 50 00:04:21,627 --> 00:04:23,501 That's what you wanted to come here for? 51 00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:26,460 Yes. I thought you'd be upset, so I wanted you to have some support. 52 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,759 Upset? You thought I'd be upset? 53 00:04:28,928 --> 00:04:30,425 Maybe we should back up a little bit. 54 00:04:30,598 --> 00:04:32,342 No, I'm only interested in moving forward. 55 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,517 I just can't be married for another second. 56 00:04:36,314 --> 00:04:38,439 When did you start feeling this way? 57 00:04:38,609 --> 00:04:39,642 Years ago. 58 00:04:39,819 --> 00:04:41,481 I just couldn't bring myself to tell her. 59 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,115 Emily, I didn't want to hurt you. 60 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,530 Years? 61 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:48,951 Yes, years. And in all those years, I have tried not to feel this way. 62 00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:50,783 But I do. 63 00:04:51,336 --> 00:04:54,589 Okay, okay. Maybe you two should discuss this now. 64 00:04:54,758 --> 00:04:57,465 Now that, well, your wife knows how you feel-- 65 00:04:57,637 --> 00:05:00,130 No! This is my decision. 66 00:05:00,683 --> 00:05:02,345 Years, you say? 67 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:06,187 Yes, Emily, I'm-- I'm sorry. I don't know any other way to do this. 68 00:05:06,358 --> 00:05:08,566 Oh, I can think of one. I could kill you. 69 00:05:08,736 --> 00:05:11,229 No, no. Sometimes there's more than one solution to a problem. 70 00:05:11,407 --> 00:05:13,485 - Maybe there's a way-- - No! This is the solution. 71 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:16,415 Look, I've had the papers drawn up. Emily, you can have everything. 72 00:05:16,581 --> 00:05:18,207 I just want out. 73 00:05:18,376 --> 00:05:20,834 All I'm taking from this marriage is what I brought into it. 74 00:05:21,005 --> 00:05:22,715 That's my clothes and my car. 75 00:05:23,341 --> 00:05:27,342 Oh, goody. At least the last 15 years haven't been a complete waste of time. 76 00:05:27,514 --> 00:05:28,796 I get the wedding china. 77 00:05:28,974 --> 00:05:31,645 And whatever fine crystal I don't smash against the wall. 78 00:05:34,649 --> 00:05:36,062 Years. 79 00:05:50,005 --> 00:05:51,585 Babies, babies, babies. 80 00:05:51,758 --> 00:05:54,132 You'd think they never even saw a baby before, 81 00:05:54,303 --> 00:05:58,517 the way everyone goes "ooh" and "ah" if they even poop. It's not fair. 82 00:05:58,684 --> 00:06:01,094 Forget it. That's not gonna change. 83 00:06:01,271 --> 00:06:04,060 What has changed is my luck, and I've gotta change it back. 84 00:06:04,234 --> 00:06:06,109 Did you answer that chain letter or not? 85 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:10,195 One to Simon Camden. One to Master Simon Camden. 86 00:06:10,368 --> 00:06:13,621 And one to Señor Simon Camden. That's Spanish. 87 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,585 You can't give me back my own chain letter. 88 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:19,163 You're supposed to send it to three other people. 89 00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:21,963 The idea is to keep the chain going, 90 00:06:22,135 --> 00:06:23,881 or bad luck will befall you. 91 00:06:24,222 --> 00:06:26,216 Bad luck already befalled on me 92 00:06:26,392 --> 00:06:29,430 the day the babies were born. 93 00:06:35,530 --> 00:06:37,240 Ditto. 94 00:06:42,289 --> 00:06:45,577 - I have to get out of the house. - How are we gonna get out? 95 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,709 Maybe if we get, like, really, really extremely helpful 96 00:06:48,882 --> 00:06:50,509 - around the house. - We already are. 97 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,137 That's why they won't let us out. 98 00:06:52,304 --> 00:06:54,465 We've spoiled them. 99 00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:57,058 Maybe if we use up all the soap in the house, 100 00:06:57,228 --> 00:06:59,472 Mom will send us out to the store for more. 101 00:06:59,648 --> 00:07:02,106 Soap is like her main ingredient, her secret weapon. 102 00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:04,521 Yeah, soap is the ticket. 103 00:07:04,697 --> 00:07:07,272 Or milk. We always need milk. 104 00:07:08,369 --> 00:07:10,031 Two gallons. 105 00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:12,698 Something. There must be something. 106 00:07:12,876 --> 00:07:15,583 Okay, we walk out to the car like we're in absolute control. 107 00:07:15,755 --> 00:07:18,461 We get in and drive away. They won't even notice. 108 00:07:18,634 --> 00:07:21,044 I tried that already. They noticed. 109 00:07:21,221 --> 00:07:23,299 Okay, back to soap. 110 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:31,069 Did you send out copies of my chain letter to your friends yet? 111 00:07:31,235 --> 00:07:32,317 Yeah, right, and if I did, 112 00:07:32,488 --> 00:07:34,482 they wouldn't be my friends for very much longer. 113 00:07:34,657 --> 00:07:37,411 - And anyway, chain letters are dumb. - I might send out copies. 114 00:07:37,578 --> 00:07:40,248 Lately, my luck's been pretty good. I don't wanna jinx it. 115 00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:43,336 It's because the cloud of doom is hanging over my head now. 116 00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,712 So please don't break the chain. 117 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,592 There's gotta be some way out of here. 118 00:08:12,337 --> 00:08:16,290 Emily, I do love you. 119 00:08:16,468 --> 00:08:19,923 You love me so much that you can independently decide to leave me? 120 00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:22,426 Maybe you two could go have a cup of coffee together. 121 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,644 And give Emily some time to process what you said. 122 00:08:24,814 --> 00:08:27,224 I know I'm stunned. 123 00:08:27,401 --> 00:08:29,396 I've lived with him for the past 15 years. 124 00:08:29,571 --> 00:08:32,111 Pardon the cliché, but those were the best years of my life. 125 00:08:32,283 --> 00:08:34,194 Hey, they were great for me too. All I'm saying 126 00:08:34,369 --> 00:08:37,326 is I think that there might be better years ahead for both of us. 127 00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:39,626 Maybe you should have a cup of coffee alone. 128 00:08:40,044 --> 00:08:42,917 Are you insane? Because if this is the result of a mental condition, 129 00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,417 then perhaps I can understand it. Otherwise, I have spent 130 00:08:45,594 --> 00:08:47,423 the best years of my life with a horse's ass! 131 00:08:47,597 --> 00:08:49,887 You know, that's it! My bags are packed. I'm moving out. 132 00:08:50,058 --> 00:08:51,685 You can have it all. You take the house. 133 00:08:51,853 --> 00:08:54,144 Take the new car. She can have everything. 134 00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:57,235 Everything? Then give me back my 15 years! 135 00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:58,483 Give it to me! 136 00:08:58,654 --> 00:09:00,364 Emily, would you not take this so hard? 137 00:09:00,532 --> 00:09:02,326 It's not like I'm in love with someone else, 138 00:09:02,494 --> 00:09:04,868 I'm just-- I'm not in love with us anymore. 139 00:09:06,541 --> 00:09:09,212 Please. Just try to understand. 140 00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:11,548 Can you understand? 141 00:09:14,386 --> 00:09:16,714 Take my wife, please. 142 00:09:21,772 --> 00:09:23,565 Hey, who's from out of town? 143 00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:28,693 Hello? Is this thing on? 144 00:09:29,324 --> 00:09:33,907 Thanks, Ruthie, I'll take over now. Thanks. You've been a big help. 145 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:37,794 Thank you, ladies and germs. 146 00:09:37,962 --> 00:09:39,873 I believe that's my car now! 147 00:09:44,012 --> 00:09:46,054 - Does someone need a ride? - No. 148 00:09:49,187 --> 00:09:50,517 Well, we had a wonderful session. 149 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:52,102 My husband's leaving me. 150 00:09:52,275 --> 00:09:55,896 But the good news is apparently the best years are yet to come. 151 00:09:58,826 --> 00:10:00,239 You two can come on in now. 152 00:10:00,662 --> 00:10:02,074 Good luck. 153 00:10:03,374 --> 00:10:07,078 Oh, sure, now they pay attention to me. 154 00:10:17,186 --> 00:10:19,940 How long would I have to sign up for to get the money for college? 155 00:10:20,107 --> 00:10:23,609 Two years will get you up to 25, three years up to 33, 156 00:10:23,778 --> 00:10:25,524 Four years will get you up to 50 thousand. 157 00:10:26,199 --> 00:10:27,909 Fifty thousand dollars? 158 00:10:28,076 --> 00:10:29,738 Strong U.S. dollars. 159 00:10:29,913 --> 00:10:32,870 There's a three-hour test: math, English, mechanics, electrical. 160 00:10:33,043 --> 00:10:34,075 It's called the ASVAB. 161 00:10:34,252 --> 00:10:37,172 - I'm good at English. - I'm sure you can pass it. 162 00:10:37,341 --> 00:10:38,587 And after that? 163 00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:41,466 After that, there's a physical, and you meet with a counsellor. 164 00:10:41,639 --> 00:10:43,679 The Army offers guaranteed training of choice, 165 00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:46,141 if there's a vacancy in the area you wish to enter. 166 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,476 What area might that be? 167 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:51,315 The aviation area. 168 00:10:51,486 --> 00:10:54,739 Aviation? Excellent. We need more men in aviation. 169 00:10:56,827 --> 00:10:59,949 - Want to get started? - Why not? 170 00:11:00,123 --> 00:11:03,827 I've got some time to kill. So to speak. 171 00:11:14,728 --> 00:11:16,807 I haven't used a teapot in years. 172 00:11:16,982 --> 00:11:20,353 I usually just nuke the tea bag right in the cup. 173 00:11:20,528 --> 00:11:23,651 I'm sorry. I find the routine comforting. 174 00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:27,160 When Ted's at home, we always have tea at 4:00. 175 00:11:27,329 --> 00:11:31,116 We always have sex at 5:00, dinner at 6:00. 176 00:11:31,294 --> 00:11:34,666 Yeah. We don't usually have time for the tea. 177 00:11:37,219 --> 00:11:38,335 What happened? 178 00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:42,847 I honestly don't know. 179 00:11:43,395 --> 00:11:46,481 He seemed happy. I gave him everything he wanted. 180 00:11:46,649 --> 00:11:49,142 I was the one that made the concession about not having kids, 181 00:11:49,321 --> 00:11:51,231 staying at home, not going to work. 182 00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,282 Those were all things he wanted. 183 00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,860 Emily, I have some time now if you'd like to talk. 184 00:11:56,164 --> 00:11:57,908 Oh, no thanks. Annie's a good listener. 185 00:12:00,378 --> 00:12:02,871 Emily's making tea. Without a microwave. 186 00:12:03,049 --> 00:12:04,592 Fancy. 187 00:12:09,225 --> 00:12:12,393 - Excuse me. I'll be right back. - Oh, yeah. Okay. 188 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:18,776 Maybe you could encourage Emily to come back into my office? 189 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,784 I don't wanna just send her home without talking to her a little more. 190 00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:23,577 I don't think she wants to talk to you. 191 00:12:23,745 --> 00:12:26,203 She wants to talk to me. She's resigned to going home alone. 192 00:12:26,374 --> 00:12:28,452 - She'll be okay. - I'm sorry about this. 193 00:12:28,627 --> 00:12:31,121 I didn't mean to have people hanging out at the house all day. 194 00:12:31,298 --> 00:12:33,210 It's okay. I like Emily. 195 00:12:34,219 --> 00:12:36,794 You don't find it awkward that she came here for my help, 196 00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,718 and now, well, 197 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,057 she's serving tea? 198 00:12:40,228 --> 00:12:42,982 No. And I'm sure what you find awkward 199 00:12:43,148 --> 00:12:45,190 is that Emily came to you for help, but now, well, 200 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,856 I'm the one who's helping her. 201 00:12:47,029 --> 00:12:48,228 No, no, no. 202 00:12:48,407 --> 00:12:50,900 I have nothing against women helping each other. 203 00:12:52,537 --> 00:12:54,496 I have nothing against your helping Emily, 204 00:12:54,665 --> 00:12:57,455 but I'm supposed to be helping Emily and Ted, 205 00:12:57,628 --> 00:12:59,919 and I'm not sure this is a balanced approach. 206 00:13:00,090 --> 00:13:04,838 It's not. But it's real English tea. It's delicious. 207 00:13:07,225 --> 00:13:10,644 I have nothing against women helping each other. 208 00:13:13,318 --> 00:13:15,692 She's all yours. I told her I had to check on the babies. 209 00:13:16,865 --> 00:13:19,868 And she made cucumber sandwiches too. 210 00:13:25,544 --> 00:13:27,585 Goodbye, baby Moses. 211 00:13:27,756 --> 00:13:30,165 I'm going to send you down the river in a basket now. 212 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,542 Have a nice trip. 213 00:13:31,719 --> 00:13:33,464 Even though I'll never see you again. 214 00:13:37,895 --> 00:13:41,943 Hello, Carol and Louise. How are you? 215 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,022 We came by to see the babies. 216 00:13:44,196 --> 00:13:46,605 Ruthie said she'd entertain us until they wake up. 217 00:13:46,783 --> 00:13:49,537 And she has, for the past hour. 218 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:52,412 It's only been an hour? 219 00:13:52,583 --> 00:13:54,412 - We really better be going. - But-- 220 00:13:54,586 --> 00:13:57,874 What about Moses? The burning bush? 221 00:13:58,049 --> 00:13:59,593 The parting sea put it out. 222 00:14:01,555 --> 00:14:03,181 Are you lying to her about the Bible? 223 00:14:03,349 --> 00:14:05,178 I will, if I have to. 224 00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:07,891 Oh, thank you. 225 00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:09,441 Come meet the boys. 226 00:14:09,608 --> 00:14:12,812 Ruthie, you wanna come tell the ladies about your two new baby brothers? 227 00:14:12,988 --> 00:14:15,945 No! I want the ladies to stay here for the rest of the show. 228 00:14:16,118 --> 00:14:19,868 We have to run, really. We have to run. 229 00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:28,377 Everything okay? 230 00:14:28,552 --> 00:14:31,472 Well, yeah, I'm okay as in I didn't get hurt. 231 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,267 But not okay as in no one in this family 232 00:14:33,435 --> 00:14:35,227 believes in answering chain letters. 233 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,354 So now my luck is doubly terrible. 234 00:14:38,108 --> 00:14:41,943 - Who are you, by the way? - Oh, I'm Emily Grant. 235 00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:43,942 I go to your church. 236 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,325 Oh, yeah, I thought I'd seen you around. 237 00:14:46,495 --> 00:14:47,741 You here to see the babies? 238 00:14:48,999 --> 00:14:50,994 Well, I was delighted to meet them, but actually, 239 00:14:51,169 --> 00:14:54,919 I was here to see your dad. A little counselling session. 240 00:14:57,762 --> 00:14:59,887 Do you believe in bad luck? 241 00:15:00,057 --> 00:15:03,677 Oh, yes. I'm a big believer in bad luck. 242 00:15:03,854 --> 00:15:07,355 I'm up to my soon-to-be-divorced bum in bad luck today. 243 00:15:07,525 --> 00:15:09,354 I am too. 244 00:15:09,528 --> 00:15:13,031 All I can do is wait and see what bad thing will happen next. 245 00:15:13,201 --> 00:15:15,575 So what bad things have happened so far? 246 00:15:15,746 --> 00:15:20,078 Oh, you know, running into stuff, tripping over stuff. 247 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,128 Being clumsy. 248 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:25,752 Which, if you knew me, you'd know that wasn't me. 249 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,596 I lost my lucky red-lightning ring. 250 00:15:28,765 --> 00:15:31,223 The worst is coming, I know it. 251 00:15:31,394 --> 00:15:33,969 I wish I could have seen trouble coming. 252 00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:39,111 After 15 years together, my husband's leaving me. 253 00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:43,195 - Any kids? - No, unfortunately. 254 00:15:43,370 --> 00:15:46,077 So you wanted kids? Because I've heard there's plenty of people 255 00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,042 who are perfectly happy without them. 256 00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:49,540 I can understand why. 257 00:15:49,713 --> 00:15:53,463 I'm sorry, Emily. It seems my whole family's in your business today. 258 00:15:53,634 --> 00:15:55,510 Yes, his whole family. 259 00:15:55,679 --> 00:15:58,932 His whole tea-swilling, cucumber-sandwich-loving family. 260 00:16:12,078 --> 00:16:13,623 What really makes me mad is that, 261 00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:16,247 if I'd had children when I wanted to, I'd have children now. 262 00:16:16,418 --> 00:16:17,534 I'd still have a family. 263 00:16:17,878 --> 00:16:19,671 By the time I'm ready to start dating again, 264 00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:21,668 it'll take me years to find someone to marry, 265 00:16:21,842 --> 00:16:23,007 and then it'll be too late. 266 00:16:23,178 --> 00:16:25,089 Maybe you should just do it on your own. 267 00:16:25,264 --> 00:16:26,891 Or adopt. 268 00:16:27,059 --> 00:16:28,305 One parent's better than none. 269 00:16:28,477 --> 00:16:31,267 You about ready to go, Emily? 270 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,478 Yeah, I suppose I should face the music sometime. 271 00:16:34,653 --> 00:16:38,985 Actually it won't be music, it'll be silence. Deafening silence. 272 00:16:39,493 --> 00:16:40,609 Just remember, 273 00:16:41,079 --> 00:16:43,453 it doesn't have to remain silent. 274 00:16:45,835 --> 00:16:47,913 I thought I'd go over to Ted's and talk to him. 275 00:16:48,089 --> 00:16:51,009 You know, my hunch is that living alone 276 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:54,513 may not be the ideal life after all. 277 00:17:03,444 --> 00:17:05,439 Turn it down. 278 00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,039 It's just a little too loud. 279 00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:17,214 We have two new babies with teeny, tiny ears. 280 00:17:17,382 --> 00:17:21,132 Just the teeniest, tiniest, cutest ears in the whole wide world. 281 00:17:22,472 --> 00:17:23,850 Is Simon home? 282 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:26,843 Yes, he's in the back yard. Ruthie, will you go get him? 283 00:17:27,021 --> 00:17:29,727 That's okay. I can find him. 284 00:17:31,736 --> 00:17:34,656 Oh, this should be good. 285 00:17:53,017 --> 00:17:54,846 Yes! 286 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,400 Do you know what this is? 287 00:18:05,577 --> 00:18:07,156 An ugly purple purse? 288 00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:09,288 This is our ticket to paradise. 289 00:18:09,458 --> 00:18:11,702 Emily forgot her purse. We are out of here. 290 00:18:15,508 --> 00:18:17,170 I wish I may 291 00:18:17,344 --> 00:18:19,220 I wish I might 292 00:18:19,722 --> 00:18:22,476 have the wish I wish tonight. 293 00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:26,813 I wish my luck would change from bad to good. 294 00:18:26,983 --> 00:18:30,319 Hi, Simon. I was hoping I'd run into you. 295 00:18:30,488 --> 00:18:32,150 Well, you are at my house. 296 00:18:32,324 --> 00:18:34,651 I asked my mom to take me out of private school this year. 297 00:18:34,828 --> 00:18:36,288 You know why? 298 00:18:36,455 --> 00:18:38,865 I was hoping to go to the same school as you. 299 00:18:39,042 --> 00:18:40,788 That's nice. 300 00:18:41,796 --> 00:18:43,257 My school doesn't have any boys. 301 00:18:43,424 --> 00:18:45,252 - It's an all-girls school. - Yeah. 302 00:18:45,427 --> 00:18:47,172 All-girls schools are like that. 303 00:18:47,722 --> 00:18:50,131 The thing is we're having this spring dance, 304 00:18:50,308 --> 00:18:53,099 and I have to ask someone to go. I don't just wanna ask anybody. 305 00:18:53,272 --> 00:18:55,681 I wanna ask someone special, like you. 306 00:18:56,276 --> 00:18:59,065 The thing is, since you're not at my school or anything, 307 00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:00,734 you wouldn't know this, but... 308 00:19:02,326 --> 00:19:03,656 ...I have a girlfriend. 309 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,951 Who knew? I've never seen her. 310 00:19:08,126 --> 00:19:09,706 What? 311 00:19:14,427 --> 00:19:16,089 She's going the wrong way. 312 00:19:16,263 --> 00:19:20,015 I don't care. It's not like she brought me a present. 313 00:19:25,443 --> 00:19:27,319 Don't you remember me? 314 00:19:27,488 --> 00:19:28,770 I won a car. 315 00:19:28,948 --> 00:19:30,493 I got a dog. 316 00:19:30,659 --> 00:19:33,864 I'm supposed to be the luckiest kid on Earth! 317 00:19:42,802 --> 00:19:43,835 Where are Mom and Dad? 318 00:19:44,012 --> 00:19:45,722 - Why? - Well, I need to talk to them. 319 00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:48,465 Well, Dad's not home, and we're talking to Mom first. 320 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,114 I wanna go home. Simon's being mean to me. He made up this stupid story 321 00:19:57,281 --> 00:20:00,071 just so he wouldn't have to go to the Spring Fling. 322 00:20:01,329 --> 00:20:03,371 The babies are beautiful, Annie. Good night. 323 00:20:03,541 --> 00:20:07,208 - Well, I'll speak to Simon. - Don't bother. 324 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:14,048 Emily left her purse here, so I thought Lucy and I could take it to her. 325 00:20:14,223 --> 00:20:15,967 Did you hide her purse? 326 00:20:16,143 --> 00:20:18,849 - I didn't. We swear. - Swear. 327 00:20:19,021 --> 00:20:20,433 Fine, but don't swear. 328 00:20:20,607 --> 00:20:24,025 Straight there, and straight back. 329 00:20:28,535 --> 00:20:32,156 - What's up? - Nothing. 330 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,374 That is not a "nothing" look on your face. 331 00:20:35,003 --> 00:20:37,875 - Is Dad home? - No. 332 00:20:43,515 --> 00:20:45,142 I joined the Army. 333 00:20:46,394 --> 00:20:47,974 Yeah. 334 00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:06,330 Where you going? 335 00:21:07,884 --> 00:21:09,166 Errand. 336 00:21:09,345 --> 00:21:11,754 Forget the errands. Meet us at LandsBurgers. 337 00:21:12,057 --> 00:21:13,138 Can't. 338 00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:16,896 - How gorgeous are they? - Too gorgeous. 339 00:21:17,064 --> 00:21:20,317 - Something must be wrong with them. - Please meet us at LandsBurgers. 340 00:21:20,486 --> 00:21:21,686 I only have a week to live. 341 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,450 Have a heart. LandsBurgers. Be there. 342 00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:30,997 Couldn't we just have a shake? 343 00:21:31,168 --> 00:21:32,748 After we drop off the purse. 344 00:21:34,673 --> 00:21:37,546 What kind of shake goes with two gorgeous guys? 345 00:21:38,679 --> 00:21:40,305 Go. 346 00:21:55,495 --> 00:21:57,371 - Who is it? - Eric Camden. 347 00:21:57,540 --> 00:22:00,994 Oh, hey, Reverend. Hold on a second. 348 00:22:05,927 --> 00:22:07,043 Hey, come on in. 349 00:22:07,220 --> 00:22:09,630 I thought for a second maybe it was my wife. 350 00:22:09,808 --> 00:22:11,054 Come on. 351 00:22:11,477 --> 00:22:13,021 Hey, can I offer you a beer, Reverend? 352 00:22:13,855 --> 00:22:15,565 No thanks, I'm driving. 353 00:22:15,733 --> 00:22:16,849 Oh, yeah. 354 00:22:17,652 --> 00:22:19,030 Can I get you some pants? 355 00:22:20,448 --> 00:22:22,573 Oh, sorry. 356 00:22:22,743 --> 00:22:25,830 It's funny, I never really pictured you as a beer drinker. 357 00:22:26,540 --> 00:22:29,745 Well, take a picture of the new Ted. 358 00:22:29,921 --> 00:22:33,708 No more Montrachet for me and crustless little sandwiches. 359 00:22:33,885 --> 00:22:37,588 The real Ted drinks beer. 360 00:22:37,765 --> 00:22:40,092 No beer for Emily, of course, not even a lager. 361 00:22:40,269 --> 00:22:43,771 She's always so gracious and proper and-- 362 00:22:43,941 --> 00:22:45,022 British? 363 00:22:45,193 --> 00:22:47,152 Yeah, British. 364 00:22:47,321 --> 00:22:51,107 She's so rigid and uptight, with rules, rules, rules. 365 00:22:51,285 --> 00:22:53,326 Even the rules have rules. For example, 366 00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:57,996 there is a rule: No television after 11:30. 367 00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:00,507 That means no Leno, no Letterman, 368 00:23:00,674 --> 00:23:03,926 no Nightline. 369 00:23:04,095 --> 00:23:06,255 I'm a grown man. I should be able to watch television 370 00:23:06,431 --> 00:23:08,058 any darn time I want to. 371 00:23:08,226 --> 00:23:10,636 But no. 372 00:23:10,939 --> 00:23:11,971 And then the kitchen. 373 00:23:12,149 --> 00:23:14,309 You, you, you know that you have to rinse your plate 374 00:23:14,485 --> 00:23:17,322 before you stick it in the dishwasher. If you don't, heaven help you. 375 00:23:17,490 --> 00:23:21,157 I mean she-- The woman is-- She's a little... 376 00:23:21,328 --> 00:23:22,445 A little neat freak. 377 00:23:22,622 --> 00:23:29,163 Oh, let's not forget the "no smoking in the house" rule. 378 00:23:29,340 --> 00:23:31,418 - You smoke? - Well, no. 379 00:23:32,303 --> 00:23:34,428 But what if I wanted to start to? 380 00:23:34,598 --> 00:23:37,555 I would have to go outside. Outside! 381 00:23:37,936 --> 00:23:41,889 I'm sorry, but she's just driving me up the wall. Her and her schedules. 382 00:23:42,067 --> 00:23:45,236 Every single second of our life is-- Is planned out. 383 00:23:45,405 --> 00:23:48,030 There's no... 384 00:23:48,202 --> 00:23:52,036 ...spontaneity. No...freedom! 385 00:23:53,459 --> 00:23:55,370 You know, sometimes, I think, after 15 years, 386 00:23:55,545 --> 00:23:56,876 people just get into a rut. 387 00:23:59,384 --> 00:24:00,928 Between you and me? 388 00:24:01,095 --> 00:24:03,553 Boring. 389 00:24:03,724 --> 00:24:05,885 Okay, venting is good. 390 00:24:06,061 --> 00:24:09,479 Because after the venting, you might discover-- 391 00:24:09,649 --> 00:24:11,061 The new Ted. 392 00:24:16,993 --> 00:24:18,739 Cheers. 393 00:24:19,997 --> 00:24:21,957 New Ted, how many beers is that? 394 00:24:30,847 --> 00:24:32,094 Look, Mom, try to understand-- 395 00:24:32,266 --> 00:24:34,889 Not a word until your father gets home. 396 00:24:35,854 --> 00:24:38,525 Oh, Matt, how could you? 397 00:24:49,791 --> 00:24:52,545 I envy you girls, being part of a big family, 398 00:24:52,712 --> 00:24:54,541 all that activity in the house. 399 00:24:54,715 --> 00:24:55,962 Sometimes too much activity. 400 00:24:56,134 --> 00:24:58,175 And sometimes too much family. 401 00:24:58,345 --> 00:25:00,636 It's better than the alternative. 402 00:25:00,807 --> 00:25:03,644 But I won't keep you. Thanks for bringing the purse. 403 00:25:03,811 --> 00:25:05,722 - Call us if you need any company. - Okay. 404 00:25:05,898 --> 00:25:08,058 - Bye. - Bye. 405 00:25:21,587 --> 00:25:23,747 Spin around thrice 406 00:25:23,924 --> 00:25:26,002 And throw the dice 407 00:25:26,177 --> 00:25:28,006 With the dawn 408 00:25:28,180 --> 00:25:30,589 Bad luck, begone 409 00:25:41,617 --> 00:25:46,033 One. Two. Three. 410 00:25:46,415 --> 00:25:48,659 If it weren't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all. 411 00:26:13,705 --> 00:26:14,952 Sorry. It's only me. 412 00:26:16,668 --> 00:26:19,706 - May I come in? - Yeah, come in. 413 00:26:22,009 --> 00:26:23,754 You didn't have any luck with Ted, did you? 414 00:26:23,928 --> 00:26:27,763 Well, let's just say he's not himself today. 415 00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:30,474 Oh, I have a feeling that he is. 416 00:26:33,150 --> 00:26:35,477 I know Ted, and when he makes his mind up about something, 417 00:26:35,653 --> 00:26:36,687 that's it. 418 00:26:37,072 --> 00:26:39,482 A couple of years after we were married, 419 00:26:39,659 --> 00:26:41,868 one day he just announced there would be no children. 420 00:26:42,330 --> 00:26:45,618 He never reconsidered. He's like that. 421 00:26:45,793 --> 00:26:47,835 The thing is, 422 00:26:48,005 --> 00:26:49,335 I don't believe in divorce. 423 00:26:50,216 --> 00:26:51,416 Neither do I. 424 00:26:51,594 --> 00:26:53,754 Unfortunately Ted does. 425 00:26:53,931 --> 00:26:56,340 I know, and it seems I have no say in it. 426 00:26:56,517 --> 00:26:57,763 It's funny. 427 00:26:57,936 --> 00:27:01,354 He had to ask you to marry him, but he doesn't really, legally, 428 00:27:01,524 --> 00:27:02,807 have to ask you for a divorce. 429 00:27:05,989 --> 00:27:08,862 It's not fair. It's just the way it is. 430 00:27:09,870 --> 00:27:12,244 So you don't think he's coming back, either, do you? 431 00:27:13,166 --> 00:27:14,579 Do you want him to? 432 00:27:16,046 --> 00:27:17,541 I don't know. 433 00:27:23,890 --> 00:27:25,470 So, what are your names? 434 00:27:25,643 --> 00:27:28,397 Oh, I'm Madeline, and this is my friend-- 435 00:27:28,563 --> 00:27:30,939 Sabrina. So how old are you guys? 436 00:27:31,485 --> 00:27:32,815 Twenty-one. 437 00:27:32,988 --> 00:27:35,315 - And you? - Nineteen. 438 00:27:35,491 --> 00:27:37,283 So where do you guys go to school? 439 00:27:37,744 --> 00:27:40,035 Yale. We're just visiting Glen Oak. 440 00:27:40,748 --> 00:27:43,585 Us too. We're in our first and second years at Brown. 441 00:27:44,212 --> 00:27:46,005 That's in France. 442 00:27:46,173 --> 00:27:48,583 - Are you lying? - Do you care? 443 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,470 No. 444 00:27:51,514 --> 00:27:53,509 You know, you don't just travel around the world 445 00:27:53,684 --> 00:27:56,307 kicking back on foreign shores with some floozy, don't you? 446 00:27:56,730 --> 00:27:59,057 - Floozy? - This isn't funny. It isn't funny at all. 447 00:27:59,234 --> 00:28:03,364 - This is serious. Deadly serious! - I know that. But it's one of the most 448 00:28:03,532 --> 00:28:05,692 responsible things I've ever done in my whole life. 449 00:28:05,869 --> 00:28:08,825 I don't have a job. I don't know what I wanna major in. 450 00:28:08,998 --> 00:28:11,158 I live at home with my parents and six other kids. 451 00:28:11,668 --> 00:28:13,129 It's time for me to move on. 452 00:28:13,296 --> 00:28:14,328 Move on? 453 00:28:16,383 --> 00:28:18,378 Now, just take a minute and let this sink in 454 00:28:18,553 --> 00:28:21,640 - before you start yelling at me. - He joined the Army. 455 00:28:21,808 --> 00:28:23,353 I joined the Army. 456 00:28:24,562 --> 00:28:27,138 - The United States Army? - Yes, the United States Army. 457 00:28:27,316 --> 00:28:29,726 - The one with the guns and the wars. - Did they tell you 458 00:28:29,904 --> 00:28:31,103 you'll have to cut your hair? 459 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,571 Did they tell you those are real guns with real bullets, 460 00:28:33,742 --> 00:28:35,902 and that you could get shipped off to God-knows-where, 461 00:28:36,079 --> 00:28:37,160 and really lose your life? 462 00:28:37,331 --> 00:28:39,491 For what? Just to get your college education paid for? 463 00:28:39,793 --> 00:28:40,874 How much would he get? 464 00:28:41,045 --> 00:28:42,457 Look, I'm planning on four years. 465 00:28:42,630 --> 00:28:45,124 I wanna train as a pilot, and they'll give me $50,000, 466 00:28:45,301 --> 00:28:47,759 and I'll be able to get a job after I get out. 467 00:28:47,930 --> 00:28:49,675 Fifty G's and work? 468 00:28:49,849 --> 00:28:52,307 Bullets. Very fast bullets coming at our son. 469 00:28:52,478 --> 00:28:54,058 Okay. Sit down. 470 00:28:54,231 --> 00:28:56,107 Sit down. 471 00:29:00,448 --> 00:29:01,778 Matt. 472 00:29:03,744 --> 00:29:05,406 This is a decision only you can make. 473 00:29:05,580 --> 00:29:08,074 But as the son of a career officer, 474 00:29:08,251 --> 00:29:11,753 I have to tell you I'm not sure you know what you're getting into. 475 00:29:11,923 --> 00:29:14,167 This is an enormous commitment for anyone, 476 00:29:14,343 --> 00:29:16,338 especially for someone so-- 477 00:29:19,517 --> 00:29:24,265 For anyone. And once you commit, that's it. 478 00:29:24,442 --> 00:29:26,686 There's no getting out. They've got you. 479 00:29:26,862 --> 00:29:28,025 In the words of the colonel: 480 00:29:28,196 --> 00:29:29,858 "Your butt belongs to the corps." 481 00:29:30,033 --> 00:29:31,612 So, what do you have against the corps? 482 00:29:31,785 --> 00:29:35,656 Nothing. I have nothing but respect and gratitude 483 00:29:35,833 --> 00:29:37,245 for the thousands of men and women 484 00:29:37,418 --> 00:29:39,496 willing to devote their careers and lives 485 00:29:39,672 --> 00:29:42,165 to protecting others and ideals, 486 00:29:42,343 --> 00:29:44,337 people who don't get to spend every birthday 487 00:29:44,512 --> 00:29:46,637 and anniversary and school play with their families, 488 00:29:46,807 --> 00:29:49,098 because their job is out there making sure that I'm safe 489 00:29:49,269 --> 00:29:50,468 and at home with mine. 490 00:29:50,646 --> 00:29:53,104 No, this has nothing to do with the armed services. Matt. 491 00:29:53,275 --> 00:29:54,439 This is about you 492 00:29:55,904 --> 00:29:58,942 and the amount of time that you didn't think this through. 493 00:29:59,326 --> 00:30:00,738 I'm a grown man. 494 00:30:00,911 --> 00:30:03,581 I've already considered all the options. I'm in. 495 00:30:08,130 --> 00:30:09,791 Well. 496 00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:33,749 You know they have girlfriends. 497 00:30:33,917 --> 00:30:34,950 I'll bet you money. 498 00:30:35,128 --> 00:30:37,585 You don't have any money. 499 00:30:38,257 --> 00:30:39,753 You wanna play fire drill? 500 00:30:54,740 --> 00:30:56,533 Come on. 501 00:31:33,128 --> 00:31:34,957 Look out! 502 00:32:06,386 --> 00:32:08,630 Come on, Luce. 503 00:32:08,806 --> 00:32:10,635 You're awake, aren't you? 504 00:32:10,809 --> 00:32:13,017 No, I'm not awake. 505 00:32:13,187 --> 00:32:14,767 I don't wanna wake up. 506 00:32:15,441 --> 00:32:16,852 You have to. 507 00:32:17,402 --> 00:32:19,063 We have to talk to Mom and Dad about this, 508 00:32:19,238 --> 00:32:20,817 and the sooner the better. 509 00:32:23,953 --> 00:32:26,411 They didn't say anything last night. 510 00:32:26,582 --> 00:32:29,252 It was so spooky. I've never seen them like that. 511 00:32:29,544 --> 00:32:33,331 They were either too scared or too angry to say anything, 512 00:32:33,508 --> 00:32:34,886 but I'm betting on angry. 513 00:32:35,052 --> 00:32:38,470 I'm just thankful Ted only broke a couple of bones. 514 00:32:44,191 --> 00:32:46,600 Are you two okay? 515 00:32:46,778 --> 00:32:49,531 Are you okay? It must've been terrifying. 516 00:32:52,453 --> 00:32:54,079 I'm okay. 517 00:32:54,790 --> 00:32:55,870 Me too. 518 00:33:00,506 --> 00:33:01,670 Ted was drunk. 519 00:33:01,841 --> 00:33:04,678 He doesn't usually drink, but he had a few too many 520 00:33:04,845 --> 00:33:06,721 and went out to pick up a few more, 521 00:33:06,890 --> 00:33:09,050 and that's when he ran into you. 522 00:33:09,227 --> 00:33:13,477 So you just saw him coming and jumped out of the car? 523 00:33:14,902 --> 00:33:15,935 Yeah. 524 00:33:16,947 --> 00:33:18,740 Kind of. 525 00:33:19,158 --> 00:33:21,532 How is the station wagon? 526 00:33:22,079 --> 00:33:23,575 It's pretty close to totalled. 527 00:33:24,959 --> 00:33:29,422 Thank God you're alive. Through some miracle of God, you're alive. 528 00:33:29,799 --> 00:33:32,921 Maybe you do have Simon's luck now. 529 00:33:35,014 --> 00:33:36,808 It's ok. 530 00:33:37,936 --> 00:33:40,394 It's over. 531 00:33:40,606 --> 00:33:43,562 I know how glad you guys are that we're alive, 532 00:33:43,735 --> 00:33:46,609 but we're not alive because of some big miracle. 533 00:33:50,955 --> 00:33:52,913 We're alive because we're bad. 534 00:33:53,333 --> 00:33:55,494 We were playing fire drill, 535 00:33:55,670 --> 00:33:57,795 and that's why we were out of the car. 536 00:33:57,965 --> 00:33:59,960 Fire drill? 537 00:34:00,135 --> 00:34:04,515 Where you jump out of the car and run around and get in? 538 00:34:05,559 --> 00:34:08,848 Where did you get the idea to play fire drill? 539 00:34:09,356 --> 00:34:13,060 From some guys we let sit in the car with us at the drive-in. 540 00:34:18,369 --> 00:34:20,198 Actually we were already out of the car 541 00:34:20,372 --> 00:34:21,655 when we saw him coming. 542 00:34:34,309 --> 00:34:37,646 - So that's it? - That's it, son. 543 00:34:54,171 --> 00:34:58,042 Okay. The sound of the doorbell usually signals more gawkers. 544 00:34:58,219 --> 00:35:02,765 I just powdered you, diapered you, and put brand new pants on you, 545 00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:05,226 so please, try to keep up those nice smells 546 00:35:05,397 --> 00:35:07,308 for just a half an hour more. 547 00:35:09,528 --> 00:35:11,153 Deal? 548 00:35:15,536 --> 00:35:17,994 Oh, and I thought my luck had changed. 549 00:35:19,417 --> 00:35:20,581 Who is it? 550 00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:23,708 It's Emily and Ted. Can we come in, please, Ruthie? 551 00:35:23,882 --> 00:35:26,969 I'm not sure. I'll go ask somebody. 552 00:35:32,603 --> 00:35:36,271 Emily, Ted, come in. 553 00:35:36,775 --> 00:35:39,980 Ruthie, go get your sisters and your mom. 554 00:35:49,044 --> 00:35:50,243 How's your arm, Ted? 555 00:35:50,420 --> 00:35:53,543 Oh, broken. 556 00:35:54,384 --> 00:35:56,011 And you, how are you doing this morning? 557 00:35:56,763 --> 00:35:58,674 Well, I'd have to say that after getting advice 558 00:35:58,849 --> 00:36:01,972 from every member of your family yesterday, better. 559 00:36:03,231 --> 00:36:06,436 I'm sure you're anxious to get back to the office at the church, 560 00:36:06,611 --> 00:36:07,775 but I like it here. 561 00:36:14,497 --> 00:36:18,961 Mary, Lucy. 562 00:36:20,005 --> 00:36:22,498 I owe you an apology. 563 00:36:22,676 --> 00:36:25,880 I never imagined myself capable of the kind of screwup 564 00:36:26,056 --> 00:36:27,801 that I made last night. 565 00:36:27,975 --> 00:36:30,433 I just thank God that both of you are okay. 566 00:36:30,771 --> 00:36:34,641 I'm really very, very sorry. 567 00:36:34,819 --> 00:36:36,563 My licence has been suspended, 568 00:36:36,737 --> 00:36:40,074 and I have to attend alcohol abuse meetings 569 00:36:40,243 --> 00:36:43,162 and do some community service. 570 00:36:43,330 --> 00:36:44,791 Still, in light of what I did, 571 00:36:44,958 --> 00:36:47,878 it doesn't seem like very much. 572 00:36:48,046 --> 00:36:49,791 No, it doesn't. 573 00:36:50,383 --> 00:36:52,176 Still, 574 00:36:53,012 --> 00:36:55,302 I hope you can accept my apology. 575 00:36:57,810 --> 00:36:58,843 - Sure. - Sure. 576 00:36:59,021 --> 00:37:00,813 No. I don't think so. 577 00:37:12,373 --> 00:37:13,785 I find it reprehensible 578 00:37:13,958 --> 00:37:17,626 that you waited until your wife spent 15 years taking care of you, 579 00:37:17,797 --> 00:37:19,128 before you just up and decided 580 00:37:19,300 --> 00:37:21,342 that you never really wanted to be married. 581 00:37:21,845 --> 00:37:23,639 I find it even more reprehensible 582 00:37:23,806 --> 00:37:25,468 that on your first night out of the house, 583 00:37:25,643 --> 00:37:27,886 you decided to get drunk and then get behind the wheel, 584 00:37:28,063 --> 00:37:32,016 so that you could no doubt go get more beer so that you could get more drunk. 585 00:37:32,194 --> 00:37:33,856 You could've killed my daughters. 586 00:37:34,030 --> 00:37:35,525 You could've killed someone else. 587 00:37:35,698 --> 00:37:38,738 You could've killed yourself. How stupid do you have to be? 588 00:37:38,912 --> 00:37:42,663 How selfish do you have to be to drink and drive? 589 00:37:45,338 --> 00:37:47,961 I don't have to lead someone around to the truth. I am a mother. 590 00:37:48,133 --> 00:37:49,843 I can shove it right in their face. 591 00:37:56,271 --> 00:37:59,892 Thank you. That's not normally how I work, 592 00:38:00,068 --> 00:38:03,356 but at the right time and place, shoving the truth in someone's face 593 00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:06,071 - can be the best thing to do. - Yes, it is. 594 00:38:06,243 --> 00:38:08,654 Feel like trying it out with the kids? 595 00:38:12,252 --> 00:38:14,163 I'll be right back. 596 00:38:28,108 --> 00:38:31,943 Emily, come sit beside me. 597 00:38:32,114 --> 00:38:34,690 No, thank you. I'll stand. 598 00:38:36,913 --> 00:38:39,833 I'm sorry about what happened. 599 00:38:40,710 --> 00:38:42,669 Do you mean sorry for suddenly, without warning, 600 00:38:42,838 --> 00:38:46,459 filing for divorce, or sorry for almost killing the girls? 601 00:38:47,219 --> 00:38:48,253 Both. 602 00:38:49,598 --> 00:38:55,189 So thanks for picking me up at the hospital. I... 603 00:38:55,982 --> 00:38:59,022 I guess I'll be coming home with you? 604 00:38:59,196 --> 00:39:02,483 At least until the bandages come off. 605 00:39:02,659 --> 00:39:05,152 Until the bandages come off? 606 00:39:06,539 --> 00:39:08,036 No, Ted, I don't think so. 607 00:39:10,295 --> 00:39:11,625 Home is where the heart is, 608 00:39:11,797 --> 00:39:12,997 and you don't have a heart. 609 00:39:13,174 --> 00:39:14,718 And you have broken mine. 610 00:39:15,052 --> 00:39:17,296 You still want a divorce, and that's your decision. 611 00:39:17,472 --> 00:39:20,142 I'm not taking care of you until you can walk out the door again, 612 00:39:20,309 --> 00:39:21,556 and that is my decision. 613 00:39:26,944 --> 00:39:29,188 Ruthie Camden. 614 00:39:30,241 --> 00:39:32,698 You shouldn't play with fire, ever. 615 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,079 Even if it is to get our attention. 616 00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:37,077 And you wanna have children. 617 00:39:39,045 --> 00:39:41,005 I'll call a cab. 618 00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:46,212 I've just realised, I haven't gotten around to buying anything 619 00:39:46,389 --> 00:39:49,428 for the twins yet, but they seem to have so much already. 620 00:39:49,603 --> 00:39:50,932 Is there anything you want? 621 00:39:51,439 --> 00:39:53,599 Well, I'd love it if you didn't mention the sparklers 622 00:39:53,775 --> 00:39:55,235 to the Reverend and his wife. 623 00:39:55,402 --> 00:39:56,567 Okay. 624 00:39:56,738 --> 00:39:58,282 Why don't you mention it to them? 625 00:39:58,741 --> 00:40:00,570 You'd make a great mom. 626 00:40:00,744 --> 00:40:03,996 Well, you know, if you decide you want to. 627 00:40:04,165 --> 00:40:06,409 But if you're not sure, take the twins, please. 628 00:40:07,503 --> 00:40:09,083 Funny. Henny Youngman. 629 00:40:09,882 --> 00:40:11,046 Who? 630 00:40:12,761 --> 00:40:15,337 I'm sure you're sick of being in the house all the time-- 631 00:40:15,515 --> 00:40:19,349 And we totally understand you probably want a little more freedom. 632 00:40:21,858 --> 00:40:23,234 Well, I've got news for you. 633 00:40:23,401 --> 00:40:26,939 You can't always have what you want when you want it. 634 00:40:27,115 --> 00:40:28,777 I want it my way and I want it right now 635 00:40:28,952 --> 00:40:31,361 is an effective survival skill for newborns, 636 00:40:31,538 --> 00:40:34,494 but for the rest of us, it can be downright dangerous. 637 00:40:34,668 --> 00:40:38,205 For example, last night you almost got yourselves killed. 638 00:40:39,049 --> 00:40:41,757 Okay. So how do we get what we want? 639 00:40:44,557 --> 00:40:46,967 The old-fashioned way. Earn it. 640 00:40:48,105 --> 00:40:51,772 You want more freedom, you take on more responsibility. 641 00:40:56,491 --> 00:41:00,195 Maybe if his car just grazed us. 642 00:41:00,372 --> 00:41:02,331 Yeah. 643 00:41:15,352 --> 00:41:16,552 What are you doing? 644 00:41:16,938 --> 00:41:19,941 I had to get rid of those chain letters. Mom said they're illegal. 645 00:41:20,109 --> 00:41:22,946 I have enough trouble without you getting me in trouble with the law, 646 00:41:23,114 --> 00:41:25,322 - Señor Camden. - I didn't know. 647 00:41:25,492 --> 00:41:27,985 Oh, well, I'll just tell that to the judge. 648 00:41:28,163 --> 00:41:30,786 Give me a break. I found out before anything happened. 649 00:41:30,958 --> 00:41:32,752 Yeah, but only because you're lucky. 650 00:41:32,919 --> 00:41:36,125 - Yeah, maybe I am. - "Maybe I am" what? 651 00:41:38,218 --> 00:41:39,928 Simon, once and for all, 652 00:41:40,096 --> 00:41:42,506 rings, chain letters, position in the family hierarchy 653 00:41:42,684 --> 00:41:45,094 has nothing to do with luck, good or bad. That's it. 654 00:41:45,563 --> 00:41:48,317 And you can't make what you want happen when you want it to 655 00:41:48,484 --> 00:41:51,737 with spells and garlic because it doesn't work that way. 656 00:41:51,906 --> 00:41:53,782 End of story. 657 00:41:53,950 --> 00:41:55,612 Do I smell smoke? 658 00:41:55,787 --> 00:41:58,244 I'll never do it again. 659 00:42:07,845 --> 00:42:11,014 You are not joining the Army. 660 00:42:12,227 --> 00:42:13,557 You didn't take the time 661 00:42:13,729 --> 00:42:16,851 to explore or discuss any other options. 662 00:42:17,025 --> 00:42:19,103 You just wanted what you wanted when you wanted it, 663 00:42:19,278 --> 00:42:22,033 and you made a commitment that we don't think you're ready to make. 664 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,653 It's not gonna happen. And I don't care what you or we have to do 665 00:42:25,830 --> 00:42:28,538 to stop the whole process. You are not joining the Army. 666 00:42:32,673 --> 00:42:34,003 Okay. 667 00:42:38,432 --> 00:42:40,889 Sometimes it's just a matter of laying down the law. 668 00:42:41,060 --> 00:42:42,687 Yeah. 669 00:42:44,399 --> 00:42:46,144 That was way too easy, wasn't it? 670 00:42:46,318 --> 00:42:47,897 Way. 671 00:42:49,322 --> 00:42:50,949 Can you believe that? 672 00:42:51,117 --> 00:42:54,036 I almost burned the house down, and I didn't get in any trouble. 673 00:42:54,204 --> 00:42:56,199 Yeah, and I sent papers flying around the kitchen, 674 00:42:56,374 --> 00:42:57,752 and nobody even noticed. 675 00:42:57,918 --> 00:42:59,628 Lucky for us Matt came through the door. 676 00:42:59,796 --> 00:43:01,672 Yep, we're pretty lucky. 677 00:43:03,092 --> 00:43:04,968 I got my luck back. 678 00:43:05,137 --> 00:43:07,760 So I guess you won't be needing your red-lightning ring anymore. 679 00:43:13,107 --> 00:43:14,769 You know, 680 00:43:14,943 --> 00:43:16,143 I guess I don't. 681 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:20,273 My luck just keeps getting better and better. 682 00:43:27,879 --> 00:43:29,921 Enter! 683 00:43:33,470 --> 00:43:35,880 We'd like to know why exactly 684 00:43:36,057 --> 00:43:37,553 you won't be joining the Army. 685 00:43:38,102 --> 00:43:40,476 I failed the test, sir! 686 00:43:43,193 --> 00:43:46,149 Evidently I don't have the mechanical aptitude 687 00:43:46,322 --> 00:43:48,116 to be a helicopter pilot. 688 00:43:58,674 --> 00:44:01,083 Do you know what I want, and I want it right now? 689 00:44:01,261 --> 00:44:05,677 I want the seven of them to behave themselves just for one day. 690 00:44:06,059 --> 00:44:08,054 Good luck with that.