1 00:00:57,904 --> 00:01:00,404 A RIDICULOUS MOVIE 2 00:01:01,866 --> 00:01:04,366 STARRING A PERFECT FOOL 3 00:01:04,660 --> 00:01:06,710 SEXIEST MAN EVER! 4 00:01:09,749 --> 00:01:12,169 SEXY BEAUTIFUL GIRLS 5 00:01:13,669 --> 00:01:16,759 NASTY BRITISH PEOPLE 6 00:01:19,884 --> 00:01:24,094 COMIC RELIEF CHARITY 7 00:01:25,348 --> 00:01:27,898 LAZY TEENAGERS 8 00:01:37,568 --> 00:01:40,368 A CGI CHARACTER 9 00:01:47,036 --> 00:01:50,416 A CREDIT CAMEO 10 00:02:07,723 --> 00:02:10,723 MANUFACTURED BY THE FOOL 11 00:02:11,227 --> 00:02:13,977 WRITTEN BY THE REAL HERO IS HERE 12 00:02:20,403 --> 00:02:24,323 DIRECTED BY AN EXPENSIVE FOOL 13 00:02:24,991 --> 00:02:27,751 Hi! I'm Deadpool! 14 00:03:02,361 --> 00:03:04,821 It's quiet back here. 15 00:03:05,281 --> 00:03:06,331 Yes. 16 00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:12,128 My hands have to stay on the wheel. 17 00:03:13,831 --> 00:03:14,951 Excuse me. 18 00:03:16,626 --> 00:03:17,916 Dopinder. 19 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,970 Pools. Dead. 20 00:03:21,631 --> 00:03:22,551 Cool. 21 00:03:23,716 --> 00:03:24,846 Fragrant, right? 22 00:03:24,884 --> 00:03:26,804 Not Daffodil Daydream. That girl. 23 00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:30,341 Yes. Guitar. She is beautiful. 24 00:03:30,848 --> 00:03:34,478 She could be an ideal wife for me. 25 00:03:35,353 --> 00:03:38,813 But Gita's heart has been stolen by my cousin Bandhu. 26 00:03:38,856 --> 00:03:42,816 He is very dishonorable and very handsome. 27 00:03:43,986 --> 00:03:47,826 Dopinder, I'm starting to think there's a reason why I'm in this taxi. 28 00:03:48,157 --> 00:03:49,617 Yes, you called him, remember? 29 00:03:49,659 --> 00:03:54,499 No, my skinny friend has brown skin. Love is a beautiful thing. 30 00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:57,338 When you find, the whole world feels like Daffodil Daydream. 31 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,332 So you have to maintain love... 32 00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,130 be strong! 33 00:04:02,171 --> 00:04:05,131 And don't let go. Don't make the same mistake as me. 34 00:04:05,174 --> 00:04:06,384 -Understand? -Yes. 35 00:04:06,425 --> 00:04:09,925 Or the whole world feels like Mama June after yoga practice. 36 00:04:10,513 --> 00:04:12,843 Sir, what's it like? Miss Mama June? 37 00:04:12,890 --> 00:04:15,860 -Like masturbating in shoes full of urine. -Enough. 38 00:04:15,893 --> 00:04:18,813 I can explain at length. But the point is, it's bad! 39 00:04:18,854 --> 00:04:20,564 That's bad. 40 00:04:21,107 --> 00:04:23,817 Why are you wearing a red costume, Mr. Pools? 41 00:04:23,859 --> 00:04:25,819 Because it's Christmas Day, Dopinder. 42 00:04:25,861 --> 00:04:28,361 And I'm hunting someone on my bad boy list. 43 00:04:28,406 --> 00:04:29,986 I've been waiting one year, three weeks... 44 00:04:30,032 --> 00:04:31,992 six days and... 45 00:04:32,034 --> 00:04:34,364 14 minutes for him to fix what he did to me. 46 00:04:35,997 --> 00:04:38,337 What did he do to you? Mr. Pools? 47 00:04:38,374 --> 00:04:39,704 This ugly face... 48 00:04:41,252 --> 00:04:41,912 Boo! 49 00:05:02,857 --> 00:05:03,947 The weapons will not disappoint. 50 00:05:04,609 --> 00:05:06,409 It's best not to. 51 00:05:06,444 --> 00:05:08,864 What about delivery next month? 52 00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:10,655 No delivery. 53 00:05:10,698 --> 00:05:12,248 You're not the only one fighting. 54 00:05:13,451 --> 00:05:14,871 That's unacceptable. 55 00:05:17,788 --> 00:05:21,708 Look, there's a small annoyance in the provision process. 56 00:05:25,546 --> 00:05:27,756 We will appreciate your patience. 57 00:05:30,259 --> 00:05:31,259 Okay. 58 00:05:31,761 --> 00:05:34,271 We will send it in full the following month. 59 00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:38,807 Nice doing business with you. 60 00:05:42,772 --> 00:05:44,482 You mutant. 61 00:05:54,492 --> 00:05:56,072 Unlucky! 62 00:05:56,118 --> 00:05:57,578 I forgot the ammo bag. 63 00:05:57,828 --> 00:06:00,078 -We're back? -Not enough time. 64 00:06:00,498 --> 00:06:02,088 Indifferent. I can handle it. 65 00:06:02,124 --> 00:06:05,464 9, 10, 11, 12 bullets, or fail. 66 00:06:05,503 --> 00:06:06,213 Stop here! 67 00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:11,096 The cost is $27.50. 68 00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:12,843 I don't bring a wallet to work. 69 00:06:12,885 --> 00:06:14,305 Ruined the appearance of my costume. 70 00:06:15,012 --> 00:06:17,222 How about loud high five? 71 00:06:17,598 --> 00:06:18,438 Okay. 72 00:06:18,474 --> 00:06:19,724 Merry Christmas. 73 00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:24,070 Happy Tuesday in April too, Pool! 74 00:06:45,376 --> 00:06:48,716 Hello. I know. 75 00:06:48,754 --> 00:06:52,464 Who am I persuading so I can have my own film? 76 00:06:52,508 --> 00:06:56,308 I can't say, but rhymes with "Polverine." 77 00:06:56,345 --> 00:07:01,895 And he has a pair nice testicles. 78 00:07:01,934 --> 00:07:06,144 I have a destination, face to be repaired and... 79 00:07:06,188 --> 00:07:08,858 Criminals to kill. 80 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,540 Maximum effort. 81 00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:26,371 Penis blow. 82 00:07:34,216 --> 00:07:36,256 Quality Corinthian leather. 83 00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:40,060 I'm looking for Francis! 84 00:07:40,598 --> 00:07:41,888 Have you seen this guy? 85 00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:53,155 Hey, hey! 86 00:08:25,851 --> 00:08:28,141 I never said this, but don't swallow it. 87 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,010 Unlucky. 88 00:08:51,627 --> 00:08:53,627 Did I forget to turn off the stove? 89 00:09:11,147 --> 00:09:12,487 Latest news. 90 00:09:12,857 --> 00:09:16,527 The series of collisions continued shootout on inter-city toll roads. 91 00:09:16,569 --> 00:09:17,659 XAVIER SCHOOL FOR TALENTED CHILDREN 92 00:09:17,695 --> 00:09:18,825 It was difficult for the police to get to the location because of traffic jams. 93 00:09:19,155 --> 00:09:21,655 Residents are asked to stay indoors. 94 00:09:21,699 --> 00:09:24,789 The attacker looks armed, dangerous... 95 00:09:24,827 --> 00:09:26,247 -and wearing a red costume. -Red costume. 96 00:09:26,913 --> 00:09:28,163 Deadpool. 97 00:09:28,205 --> 00:09:30,915 Negasonic! Come on, we have work to do. 98 00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:34,294 Wait, Colossus. 99 00:09:34,337 --> 00:09:37,717 I've done it many times invites Deadpool to join... 100 00:09:37,757 --> 00:09:39,967 but he prefers to act like a child. 101 00:09:40,009 --> 00:09:42,519 Heavily armed little boy. 102 00:09:42,553 --> 00:09:46,303 When will he grow up and see Benefits of being an X-Man? 103 00:09:46,349 --> 00:09:48,189 What's the advantage, matching uniforms? 104 00:09:48,517 --> 00:09:50,437 House blowing up every few years? 105 00:09:50,478 --> 00:09:51,478 Come on. 106 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,860 Exploding houses build character. 107 00:09:54,357 --> 00:09:56,277 Have you had breakfast? 108 00:09:56,317 --> 00:09:58,527 Breakfast is the most important meal all day. 109 00:09:59,487 --> 00:10:03,787 Here, a protein snack. Good for bones. 110 00:10:03,824 --> 00:10:06,154 Maybe Deadpool will try break your bones. 111 00:10:14,835 --> 00:10:15,915 Move! 112 00:10:33,521 --> 00:10:34,941 Hey! 113 00:10:46,117 --> 00:10:47,407 Wait! 114 00:10:47,743 --> 00:10:49,863 Maybe you ask, "Why are you wearing a red costume?" 115 00:10:49,912 --> 00:10:51,872 So that criminals can't saw me bleeding. 116 00:10:52,957 --> 00:10:54,207 That person understands what I mean. 117 00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:55,872 He wears brown pants. 118 00:10:57,795 --> 00:11:00,005 Good! I only have 12 bullets... 119 00:11:00,047 --> 00:11:01,717 so you have to share! 120 00:11:01,757 --> 00:11:03,547 Let's count down. 121 00:11:22,862 --> 00:11:23,942 Unlucky. 122 00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:28,783 Fuck! 123 00:11:30,077 --> 00:11:31,117 10! Unlucky! 124 00:11:31,787 --> 00:11:32,787 Nine. Unlucky. 125 00:11:33,247 --> 00:11:33,787 Eight. 126 00:11:34,457 --> 00:11:35,417 Fuck! 127 00:11:39,128 --> 00:11:40,378 Stupid Deadpool. 128 00:11:41,797 --> 00:11:43,967 Seven. Deadpool is smart. 129 00:12:06,322 --> 00:12:08,822 You don't count your bullets. Six. 130 00:12:35,351 --> 00:12:36,611 Four... 131 00:12:38,938 --> 00:12:40,028 Got you. 132 00:12:41,691 --> 00:12:43,031 Right in the butt. 133 00:12:47,029 --> 00:12:48,159 Three, two! 134 00:12:48,197 --> 00:12:50,117 Stupid! Worth it. 135 00:13:16,475 --> 00:13:18,395 I'm going to masturbate tonight. 136 00:13:19,228 --> 00:13:20,398 Francis! 137 00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:22,030 Francis... 138 00:13:23,983 --> 00:13:26,193 Insolent! 139 00:13:26,235 --> 00:13:27,985 Where are you, Francis? 140 00:13:36,913 --> 00:13:37,953 You're not Francis. 141 00:13:46,005 --> 00:13:48,425 Are you serious? Rolling up your sleeves? 142 00:13:58,809 --> 00:14:02,109 Maybe you're thinking, "My boyfriend says it's a superhero movie... 143 00:14:02,146 --> 00:14:06,146 “but men in costumes turned that man into a satai!" 144 00:14:06,192 --> 00:14:10,572 Maybe I'm super, but I'm not a hero. 145 00:14:10,905 --> 00:14:13,075 And yes, technically, it's murder. 146 00:14:13,115 --> 00:14:15,405 But some of the best love stories starting with murder. 147 00:14:15,451 --> 00:14:18,491 And this is indeed a love film. 148 00:14:18,537 --> 00:14:19,957 So that the story is true... 149 00:14:19,997 --> 00:14:24,917 we go back a long way before I use it this tight red costume. 150 00:14:24,961 --> 00:14:26,171 2 YEARS AGO 151 00:14:26,212 --> 00:14:30,632 Would it help if I talked slower? I didn't order pizza. 152 00:14:30,925 --> 00:14:34,675 Is this 7348 Red Ledge Drive? You Mr. Merchants? 153 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,850 Yes, Mr. Merchants who don't order pizza! 154 00:14:38,224 --> 00:14:39,344 Who is it, then? 155 00:14:39,976 --> 00:14:41,266 I! 156 00:14:43,604 --> 00:14:44,974 Olives and pineapples? 157 00:14:45,523 --> 00:14:48,443 Sweet and salty. 158 00:14:48,484 --> 00:14:51,614 Who are you? Why are you at home... 159 00:14:51,654 --> 00:14:52,574 Are the edges burnt? 160 00:14:52,905 --> 00:14:54,195 I hope not. 161 00:14:54,824 --> 00:14:56,694 If it's about that poker game... 162 00:14:56,742 --> 00:14:59,032 I told Howie... 163 00:14:59,078 --> 00:15:03,038 Listen, just take what you want. 164 00:15:03,082 --> 00:15:04,162 Thank You. 165 00:15:05,126 --> 00:15:07,716 Before you hurt him, can I ask for big tips? 166 00:15:09,297 --> 00:15:11,137 Your name is Jeremy? 167 00:15:11,173 --> 00:15:12,633 Wade. Wade Wilson. 168 00:15:13,718 --> 00:15:16,718 You don't get tips, Jer. 169 00:15:16,762 --> 00:15:18,222 I didn't look for it. 170 00:15:18,598 --> 00:15:20,188 I'm looking for you. 171 00:15:21,726 --> 00:15:23,726 Wow, that means I'm safe. 172 00:15:23,769 --> 00:15:25,689 Don't be happy yet. 173 00:15:26,272 --> 00:15:28,642 Don't have too much glitter. 174 00:15:28,691 --> 00:15:30,661 Those are jeans, not candlesticks. 175 00:15:30,693 --> 00:15:32,983 I'll keep your wallet. You gave it to me. 176 00:15:33,029 --> 00:15:34,829 But can I have a Sam's card... 177 00:15:34,864 --> 00:15:37,154 I'll shoot your cat! 178 00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:40,370 I don't understand what you mean. I don't have a cat. 179 00:15:40,703 --> 00:15:42,453 Then I pee whose cat's litter is it in? 180 00:15:46,584 --> 00:15:48,754 By the way, tell me... 181 00:15:48,794 --> 00:15:52,544 what situations can't soothed by pizza? 182 00:15:52,590 --> 00:15:54,930 Do you know Meghan Orflosky? 183 00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:56,597 Am I right? Orflosky? 184 00:15:56,636 --> 00:15:58,926 -Orlovsky? Good. -Yes. 185 00:16:00,181 --> 00:16:01,481 Because he knows you. 186 00:16:01,515 --> 00:16:05,935 Jeremy, I'm a member of the group who gets paid to beat people. 187 00:16:05,978 --> 00:16:08,898 Meghan doesn't have much money, but he was lucky... 188 00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:10,240 I have a soft side. 189 00:16:10,858 --> 00:16:12,778 -But I... -Stalker. 190 00:16:13,236 --> 00:16:14,866 Threats hurt, Jer. 191 00:16:14,904 --> 00:16:18,364 Although it's not as painful serrated steel. 192 00:16:18,407 --> 00:16:21,617 So stay away from Meghan. 193 00:16:21,661 --> 00:16:22,581 Understand? 194 00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:23,880 Okay sir. 195 00:16:23,913 --> 00:16:24,703 Finished. 196 00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:27,296 Wait. Is it true? 197 00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:29,003 Yes. It's done. 198 00:16:29,669 --> 00:16:31,169 If you could see your face. 199 00:16:31,212 --> 00:16:32,462 I don't know what to do. I am very scared. 200 00:16:32,755 --> 00:16:33,835 The soft side, remember? 201 00:16:35,341 --> 00:16:37,431 If you just look at it... 202 00:16:37,468 --> 00:16:41,178 then you will know I also have a tough side. 203 00:16:43,182 --> 00:16:44,552 So it sounds strange. 204 00:16:45,685 --> 00:16:46,895 Or not? 205 00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:01,077 Meghan? 206 00:17:03,244 --> 00:17:04,204 FORGIVE ME! 207 00:17:04,245 --> 00:17:05,705 Jeremy won't be a bother anymore. He regrets it. 208 00:17:06,539 --> 00:17:08,419 Impossible. 209 00:17:13,254 --> 00:17:15,834 Let me bring my roller skates. I'll show you how. 210 00:17:16,132 --> 00:17:19,422 Because of this we do it. But mainly because of money. 211 00:17:19,468 --> 00:17:21,388 You can beat my stepfather? 212 00:17:21,429 --> 00:17:24,099 I beat people because that person deserves to be punished. 213 00:17:24,765 --> 00:17:26,015 Wait! 214 00:17:27,643 --> 00:17:28,813 You're my hero. 215 00:17:28,853 --> 00:17:31,353 No, no. I'm not a hero! 216 00:17:33,232 --> 00:17:35,522 No. Never. 217 00:17:36,152 --> 00:17:37,442 You're a jerk, Wade. 218 00:17:37,737 --> 00:17:41,237 I'm just a criminal, paid to hurt worse people. 219 00:17:42,617 --> 00:17:44,537 Welcome to Sister Margaret's. 220 00:17:44,577 --> 00:17:46,667 This is a place to look for work for mercenaries. 221 00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:49,420 Consider us the crazy tooth fairy... 222 00:17:49,457 --> 00:17:52,127 but we did punch until the teeth fall out and get the money. 223 00:17:52,168 --> 00:17:55,218 Let's hope we don't read your name on the gold card. 224 00:17:55,254 --> 00:17:57,084 Buck! Liefeld... 225 00:17:57,465 --> 00:17:58,385 Hey, Wade! 226 00:17:58,799 --> 00:18:01,389 Wade Wilson, protector of the weak. How can I help you? 227 00:18:01,928 --> 00:18:03,178 I asked for a Blowjob. 228 00:18:03,471 --> 00:18:04,681 I also want to. 229 00:18:04,722 --> 00:18:06,802 Drinks, stupid. But before... 230 00:18:08,476 --> 00:18:10,476 I don't want to accept money results of looking after children. 231 00:18:10,519 --> 00:18:12,359 Return the money to Miss... 232 00:18:12,396 --> 00:18:13,396 Orlovsky. 233 00:18:13,439 --> 00:18:14,399 Yes, he is. 234 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,700 Are you sure? 235 00:18:15,983 --> 00:18:18,403 For a mercenary, you have compassion. 236 00:18:18,444 --> 00:18:20,364 You're definitely not rude to the young man. 237 00:18:20,404 --> 00:18:22,324 He's not a bad kid, Weas. 238 00:18:22,365 --> 00:18:23,745 Just regular stalking. 239 00:18:23,783 --> 00:18:25,283 I used to be worse when I was his age. 240 00:18:25,326 --> 00:18:27,206 I go to exotic places... 241 00:18:27,245 --> 00:18:31,245 Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jacksonville, meet new and interesting people. 242 00:18:31,707 --> 00:18:33,587 Kill them. I've seen your Instagram. 243 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,340 What to do Special Forces in Jacksonville? 244 00:18:36,379 --> 00:18:37,969 That is a secret. 245 00:18:38,005 --> 00:18:40,255 There is a TGI Fridays restaurant good one there. 246 00:18:40,299 --> 00:18:42,639 Kahlua, Bailey's and... 247 00:18:42,677 --> 00:18:43,967 whipped cream. 248 00:18:44,011 --> 00:18:46,051 I present Blowjob. 249 00:18:46,555 --> 00:18:47,975 Why ask me to make it? 250 00:18:48,015 --> 00:18:49,805 Kelly, Kelly, Kelly... 251 00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:53,360 Give it to Buck, said Boothe. Small warm-up. 252 00:18:53,396 --> 00:18:55,606 What is the benefit of this action of yours? 253 00:18:55,648 --> 00:18:57,698 I don't like looking for trouble, only causes problems. 254 00:18:57,733 --> 00:18:58,273 Hey, Boothe! 255 00:18:59,110 --> 00:19:00,360 -Calm. -Wait! Wait! 256 00:19:00,403 --> 00:19:01,313 What do you want? 257 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,450 -Cheers. For your health. -Shut up. 258 00:19:06,951 --> 00:19:09,121 Come here, fatass! 259 00:19:09,161 --> 00:19:10,621 That's a new chair. 260 00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:16,951 Don't stand. 261 00:19:19,630 --> 00:19:21,390 He finished him off! 262 00:19:21,424 --> 00:19:23,254 Okay. Get out of the way. 263 00:19:23,301 --> 00:19:24,431 Buck, get some rest. 264 00:19:25,761 --> 00:19:26,961 Boothe was hit and fell. 265 00:19:30,766 --> 00:19:33,436 He was still breathing. 266 00:19:36,105 --> 00:19:37,735 Nobody wins today. 267 00:19:37,773 --> 00:19:39,393 Nice try, Wade. 268 00:19:39,442 --> 00:19:42,982 Found out. I chose Boothe inside death bet. Who do you choose? 269 00:19:43,029 --> 00:19:44,989 Wade, about that... 270 00:19:45,489 --> 00:19:46,289 No. 271 00:19:46,699 --> 00:19:48,659 You didn't bet on my death. 272 00:19:48,701 --> 00:19:50,461 DEATH BETS SISTER MARGARET'S 273 00:19:50,870 --> 00:19:54,960 You bet on my death. You're the worst friend in the world. 274 00:19:55,458 --> 00:19:57,668 You will lose. I will live to be 102 years old. 275 00:19:57,710 --> 00:19:59,920 Then dying. Like the city of Detroit. 276 00:19:59,962 --> 00:20:02,832 Excuse me. I... I want to win money. 277 00:20:02,882 --> 00:20:04,252 I've never won anything. 278 00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,430 Up to you. 279 00:20:05,468 --> 00:20:06,968 Mercenaries, I'll buy you a drink! 280 00:20:09,472 --> 00:20:11,302 Local, not imported. 281 00:20:15,353 --> 00:20:19,313 Honey, I'm sure I'll finish it until it's dry? 282 00:20:21,525 --> 00:20:22,525 Cool. 283 00:20:24,195 --> 00:20:26,155 -Vanessa. -Wade. 284 00:20:26,489 --> 00:20:28,659 Why a good place like you is there a girl like this? 285 00:20:30,034 --> 00:20:31,324 I like you. 286 00:20:32,578 --> 00:20:34,378 Buck, apologize before... 287 00:20:35,164 --> 00:20:36,744 Yes, that. 288 00:20:36,999 --> 00:20:38,629 Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf. 289 00:20:38,668 --> 00:20:40,548 -Excuse me. -Breathe through the nose. 290 00:20:40,586 --> 00:20:42,796 I don't have a filter between the brain and... 291 00:20:42,838 --> 00:20:44,048 Let go. Hey... 292 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,310 -Calm down. He's apologized. -I'm trying. 293 00:20:47,343 --> 00:20:49,343 Go away from here. Go magic. 294 00:20:49,887 --> 00:20:52,347 Do not touch merchandise. 295 00:20:53,849 --> 00:20:54,899 Merchandise? 296 00:20:55,393 --> 00:20:57,853 So you... 297 00:20:57,895 --> 00:20:59,315 making love for money? 298 00:20:59,355 --> 00:21:00,145 Yes. 299 00:21:00,189 --> 00:21:01,399 Bad childhood? 300 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,490 Worse than you. 301 00:21:02,525 --> 00:21:04,105 My father left before I was born. 302 00:21:04,735 --> 00:21:06,275 My father left before I was conceived. 303 00:21:07,530 --> 00:21:08,870 Has your skin ever put out a cigarette? 304 00:21:09,198 --> 00:21:10,538 Then turn it off where else? 305 00:21:10,575 --> 00:21:11,865 I was raped. 306 00:21:11,909 --> 00:21:13,659 Me too. By my uncle. 307 00:21:13,703 --> 00:21:15,953 My uncles. They take turns. 308 00:21:16,247 --> 00:21:18,877 I saw my birthday party from the warehouse keyhole... 309 00:21:18,916 --> 00:21:20,336 which is also... 310 00:21:20,376 --> 00:21:23,216 Your room. Lucky. I sleep in the dishwasher box. 311 00:21:24,046 --> 00:21:25,296 Do you have a dishwasher? 312 00:21:25,756 --> 00:21:26,926 I never sleep. 313 00:21:26,966 --> 00:21:30,216 I was raped 24 hours a day from all directions. 314 00:21:34,265 --> 00:21:35,555 Who would have the heart to do that? 315 00:21:37,226 --> 00:21:40,646 Hope you, tonight. 316 00:21:43,482 --> 00:21:48,402 What do I get for $275 and a... 317 00:21:49,614 --> 00:21:51,364 Yogurtland gift card? 318 00:21:51,407 --> 00:21:53,997 Maybe 48 minutes or whatever you want. 319 00:21:55,453 --> 00:21:57,243 And low-fat desserts. 320 00:22:04,253 --> 00:22:06,503 He put a gift card in your mouth? 321 00:22:07,882 --> 00:22:09,962 Time to get the ball in. 322 00:22:11,010 --> 00:22:12,560 You say whatever I want. 323 00:22:13,346 --> 00:22:14,266 I understand. 324 00:22:14,639 --> 00:22:16,229 You like playing ball. 325 00:22:16,265 --> 00:22:18,555 It seems more than you like women. 326 00:22:18,601 --> 00:22:20,061 That's a difficult choice. 327 00:22:20,937 --> 00:22:23,227 I want to know the real you. 328 00:22:23,272 --> 00:22:27,102 Not a two-dimensional sex object that Hollywood sells. 329 00:22:27,485 --> 00:22:28,235 Insert the ball. 330 00:22:29,403 --> 00:22:30,313 Insert the ball. 331 00:22:30,613 --> 00:22:31,983 Be prepared to lose badly. 332 00:22:32,031 --> 00:22:33,161 Just try it, big guy. 333 00:22:33,199 --> 00:22:34,199 Good. 334 00:22:40,539 --> 00:22:44,959 Limited edition Voltron: Universe Defender Ring, please. 335 00:22:45,378 --> 00:22:47,878 Good. This. 336 00:22:48,839 --> 00:22:50,969 I've been after him for a long time. 337 00:22:51,008 --> 00:22:52,888 I asked for a pencil eraser. 338 00:22:52,927 --> 00:22:54,307 Good. 339 00:22:54,345 --> 00:22:57,135 Now you are the protector of the planet Arus. 340 00:22:57,181 --> 00:22:59,141 And you can delete... 341 00:22:59,183 --> 00:23:00,513 written in pencil. 342 00:23:00,935 --> 00:23:02,315 Let. 343 00:23:02,353 --> 00:23:03,683 I don't like saying this... 344 00:23:03,729 --> 00:23:05,569 but your 48 minutes are up. 345 00:23:06,065 --> 00:23:08,905 How many minutes can I get? with this? 346 00:23:08,943 --> 00:23:13,443 Just so you know, five robot lions form a super robot, so... 347 00:23:13,781 --> 00:23:16,861 Five robot lions? Three minutes. 348 00:23:16,909 --> 00:23:17,909 Agree. 349 00:23:17,952 --> 00:23:20,202 What do we want to do with the rest? two minutes, 37 seconds? 350 00:23:21,330 --> 00:23:22,090 Making out? 351 00:23:26,460 --> 00:23:27,970 How long can you do this? 352 00:23:28,379 --> 00:23:29,219 Throughout the year? 353 00:23:39,891 --> 00:23:41,771 Happy Valentines Day. 354 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,030 Happy Chinese New Year. 355 00:23:51,068 --> 00:23:52,408 Year of the Dog. 356 00:23:57,617 --> 00:23:58,787 Calm. 357 00:23:59,368 --> 00:24:01,498 Happy World Women's Day. 358 00:24:06,375 --> 00:24:09,125 No. 359 00:24:11,505 --> 00:24:12,635 Happy Lent. 360 00:24:17,887 --> 00:24:19,177 -Wade? -Excuse me. 361 00:24:19,221 --> 00:24:20,551 Happy Halloween. 362 00:24:20,932 --> 00:24:21,802 Happy Halloween. 363 00:24:31,567 --> 00:24:33,277 Happy Thanksgiving Day. 364 00:24:35,279 --> 00:24:36,489 I love you. 365 00:24:40,284 --> 00:24:42,364 If your left foot is Thanksgiving... 366 00:24:42,411 --> 00:24:44,071 and your right foot is Christmas... 367 00:24:45,414 --> 00:24:46,914 may I visit? between holidays? 368 00:24:48,876 --> 00:24:50,666 Sweatshirts are terrible. 369 00:24:51,712 --> 00:24:53,372 But you look good in red. 370 00:24:53,422 --> 00:24:54,542 You're more suitable. 371 00:24:54,590 --> 00:24:56,350 Accentuates irritation in your eyes. 372 00:24:57,260 --> 00:24:58,470 Listen, I'm thinking... 373 00:24:58,511 --> 00:24:59,351 Really? 374 00:25:00,179 --> 00:25:01,889 ...why we fit together. 375 00:25:02,265 --> 00:25:03,345 Why? 376 00:25:05,351 --> 00:25:07,901 We're both crazy. Very. 377 00:25:10,106 --> 00:25:12,986 We are like two pieces of a puzzle, with strange curves. 378 00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:15,779 But once installed, we can see the image on it. 379 00:25:16,779 --> 00:25:17,659 Correct. 380 00:25:18,281 --> 00:25:19,371 Wade... 381 00:25:20,074 --> 00:25:22,614 ...there's something I want to ask you. 382 00:25:22,660 --> 00:25:25,170 Because you haven't ask me. 383 00:25:27,290 --> 00:25:28,340 Would you... 384 00:25:29,584 --> 00:25:31,454 -doing anal... -Marry me? 385 00:25:34,463 --> 00:25:35,463 Same coincidence? 386 00:25:37,341 --> 00:25:38,501 Where did you hide? 387 00:25:38,551 --> 00:25:39,601 Not everywhere. 388 00:25:40,636 --> 00:25:42,306 They said one month's salary. So... 389 00:25:42,346 --> 00:25:43,176 What do you mean? 390 00:25:43,431 --> 00:25:44,561 I'm ready. 391 00:25:44,599 --> 00:25:45,599 That's my sentence. 392 00:25:48,895 --> 00:25:50,525 I love you, Wade Wilson. 393 00:25:51,355 --> 00:25:52,735 You should... So you... 394 00:25:52,773 --> 00:25:53,603 Yes! 395 00:25:54,984 --> 00:25:56,064 Yes! 396 00:25:58,195 --> 00:25:59,655 I feel like a little girl. 397 00:26:04,994 --> 00:26:07,324 What if I hug you and I won't let go? 398 00:26:07,371 --> 00:26:09,951 Ride on a woman's back, like Yoda on Luke. 399 00:26:10,958 --> 00:26:12,458 Star Wars Jokes. 400 00:26:12,877 --> 00:26:14,127 Empire. 401 00:26:15,546 --> 00:26:18,796 Good grief. As if I got you on the computer. 402 00:26:23,095 --> 00:26:24,095 Hey. 403 00:26:25,181 --> 00:26:26,191 Perfect. 404 00:26:30,353 --> 00:26:31,853 -Let me see. -I want to pee. 405 00:26:31,896 --> 00:26:33,186 Shake it up, yeah. 406 00:26:39,445 --> 00:26:40,575 That's it. 407 00:26:40,988 --> 00:26:42,908 Life is a series of disasters... 408 00:26:42,949 --> 00:26:46,539 with a pause of happiness short one. 409 00:26:47,411 --> 00:26:50,121 This is the best break. 410 00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:55,833 That means it's time to go back to the main program. 411 00:26:55,878 --> 00:26:56,628 What... 412 00:26:57,755 --> 00:26:58,885 Oh my. Wade? 413 00:27:05,221 --> 00:27:06,431 Are you kidding. 414 00:27:06,931 --> 00:27:08,311 Aren't you kidding? 415 00:27:08,724 --> 00:27:09,724 I sense a joke. 416 00:27:10,142 --> 00:27:13,682 People's reactions to cancer different. 417 00:27:13,729 --> 00:27:18,239 There are options to consider. Every day new drugs are created. 418 00:27:22,780 --> 00:27:23,910 What should we do? 419 00:27:24,574 --> 00:27:26,744 Of course there is something we can do. 420 00:27:27,910 --> 00:27:30,540 My uncle Ivan has thyroid cancer... 421 00:27:30,580 --> 00:27:33,130 and there's a new experimental drug from Germany. 422 00:27:33,165 --> 00:27:37,415 Vanessa has already arranged it Plans A, B, to Z. 423 00:27:37,753 --> 00:27:41,253 Me? I remember his face. 424 00:27:41,924 --> 00:27:44,304 As if seeing it for the first time. 425 00:27:44,677 --> 00:27:45,557 Or the last one. 426 00:27:45,595 --> 00:27:47,055 Mr. Wilson... 427 00:27:47,096 --> 00:27:48,516 Mr. Wilson? 428 00:27:48,931 --> 00:27:51,261 Take time to think about it. 429 00:27:52,268 --> 00:27:54,188 It's important not to rush. 430 00:28:05,781 --> 00:28:10,991 If I were a 90 kilo sledgehammer, where will I hide? 431 00:28:36,479 --> 00:28:40,859 The audience fell silent when amateur player Wade W. Wilson... 432 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:44,370 from Regina, Saskatchewan, get ready to kick. 433 00:28:46,030 --> 00:28:47,700 His body position looks good. 434 00:28:49,825 --> 00:28:53,665 That's why Regina in tune with fun. 435 00:28:54,205 --> 00:28:56,535 Ladies and gentlemen, you are see the sweetness... 436 00:28:56,582 --> 00:28:58,832 cruel revenge. 437 00:28:59,877 --> 00:29:01,337 He attacked all out. 438 00:29:01,921 --> 00:29:02,841 Watch out! 439 00:29:04,006 --> 00:29:07,716 This brings offense rise to a new level! 440 00:29:13,057 --> 00:29:16,727 You look well, Francis. As if you were throwing, not catching. 441 00:29:17,353 --> 00:29:19,273 Do you remember me? No? 442 00:29:24,235 --> 00:29:25,525 Now what? 443 00:29:29,532 --> 00:29:31,692 Wade Wilson. 444 00:29:34,203 --> 00:29:35,493 Hello, handsome. 445 00:29:35,538 --> 00:29:38,498 Yes, like being bitten by radioactive Shar-Pei dog. 446 00:29:38,541 --> 00:29:41,711 Yes. And whose fault is that, Francis? 447 00:29:41,752 --> 00:29:43,832 Time to give it back my handsome face. 448 00:29:43,879 --> 00:29:46,889 You should be grateful. I make you immortal. 449 00:29:47,216 --> 00:29:48,846 Actually I'm jealous. 450 00:29:48,884 --> 00:29:51,094 But this is not life which is worth doing. 451 00:29:53,222 --> 00:29:57,352 I will do to you what is done Limp Bizkit on 90s music. 452 00:29:59,729 --> 00:30:00,529 Father? 453 00:30:04,108 --> 00:30:08,568 I think we can agree on that my plans went awry. 454 00:30:09,572 --> 00:30:11,572 Maybe not all of them. 455 00:30:13,117 --> 00:30:15,787 This is my most valuable item. 456 00:30:16,454 --> 00:30:17,414 Wham? 457 00:30:17,455 --> 00:30:19,285 No, no, no. Wham! 458 00:30:19,916 --> 00:30:23,296 Make It Big is an album that makes George and Andy are famous. 459 00:30:24,378 --> 00:30:27,258 So, should I smile? and let you go? 460 00:30:27,298 --> 00:30:28,888 Think of it like cleaning in spring. 461 00:30:28,925 --> 00:30:30,215 If spring is death. 462 00:30:30,259 --> 00:30:34,269 If only I could get five cents each time passionate with Bernadette Peters. 463 00:30:35,264 --> 00:30:36,764 I think I can. 464 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,570 Bernadette isn't going anywhere, because you're not going anywhere. 465 00:30:41,604 --> 00:30:42,354 Drink it. 466 00:30:42,772 --> 00:30:45,562 You are right. Cancer is only in my heart, lungs, prostate and brain. 467 00:30:45,608 --> 00:30:46,698 I can live without all that. 468 00:30:49,028 --> 00:30:51,078 Your place is in this house. 469 00:30:51,113 --> 00:30:54,693 Surrounded by your Voltron, Your Bernadette, and me. 470 00:30:56,035 --> 00:30:59,495 We know cancer is a bad show. 471 00:31:01,165 --> 00:31:06,625 Like the Yakov Smirnoff opening for Spin Doctors at the Iowa Fair. 472 00:31:08,172 --> 00:31:12,712 I won't take you to that show. 473 00:31:14,136 --> 00:31:15,726 I want you to remember me. 474 00:31:17,306 --> 00:31:19,096 Not my ghost. 475 00:31:19,141 --> 00:31:20,971 I want to remember us. 476 00:31:21,394 --> 00:31:23,104 I will find you in the next life... 477 00:31:23,145 --> 00:31:26,275 and I turned on Careless Whisper loud outside your window. 478 00:31:26,315 --> 00:31:27,735 Wham! 479 00:31:31,153 --> 00:31:34,153 Nobody plays anything. 480 00:31:36,701 --> 00:31:38,081 We can fight it. 481 00:31:41,247 --> 00:31:43,417 Anyway, I just realized something. 482 00:31:44,250 --> 00:31:49,380 You win. Your life is much messier than mine. 483 00:31:53,843 --> 00:31:54,843 I love you. 484 00:32:06,522 --> 00:32:07,602 Wade. 485 00:32:09,859 --> 00:32:11,029 Weas. 486 00:32:11,068 --> 00:32:13,658 You look like you need it Blowjob and shower. 487 00:32:13,696 --> 00:32:15,826 But it's better if you take a shower first. 488 00:32:15,865 --> 00:32:17,495 How about three sips of Patrón? 489 00:32:17,533 --> 00:32:21,323 Or Triticum aestivum, wheatgrass. 490 00:32:21,370 --> 00:32:22,710 Good for immunity. 491 00:32:22,747 --> 00:32:24,837 Good grief. You talk like Vanessa. 492 00:32:24,874 --> 00:32:26,044 Here, take a look. 493 00:32:26,083 --> 00:32:29,543 He gathered them all this colorful clinic brochure. 494 00:32:29,587 --> 00:32:31,377 I'm sure of everything authorized by the FDA. 495 00:32:31,797 --> 00:32:34,757 Chechnya. Isn't that the place to get cancer? 496 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,560 There's China and Central Mexico. 497 00:32:38,054 --> 00:32:40,264 Know the Spanish for "cancer"? 498 00:32:40,306 --> 00:32:41,386 No. 499 00:32:42,058 --> 00:32:43,728 El Cancer. 500 00:32:43,768 --> 00:32:45,608 I can guess it. 501 00:32:45,978 --> 00:32:47,528 Look how happy you are. 502 00:32:47,563 --> 00:32:51,563 Can I keep it? I installed it, so that I remember what you looked like when you were alive. 503 00:32:52,068 --> 00:32:54,028 At least I'll win death bet. 504 00:32:54,070 --> 00:32:56,780 Because you will die of cancer. 505 00:32:56,822 --> 00:32:58,402 I understand, Weas. Thank You. 506 00:33:01,244 --> 00:33:03,874 That person is looking for you. 507 00:33:03,913 --> 00:33:06,783 He is like an angel of death. 508 00:33:06,832 --> 00:33:08,792 Who knows. Maybe it will extend the storyline. 509 00:33:12,797 --> 00:33:13,887 Boothe. 510 00:33:13,923 --> 00:33:15,003 Wade. 511 00:33:20,429 --> 00:33:21,309 Mr. Wilson. 512 00:33:21,806 --> 00:33:22,976 Is there anything I can help you with? 513 00:33:23,015 --> 00:33:25,725 Apart from fishing for small children get into the boxcar. 514 00:33:25,768 --> 00:33:29,438 I know you have malignant cancer. 515 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:30,610 Watch out for stalkers. 516 00:33:30,648 --> 00:33:32,818 This is my job. Recruiting. 517 00:33:33,609 --> 00:33:35,989 Sorry you're going through a hard time. 518 00:33:37,113 --> 00:33:39,403 But you're a fighter. Special Forces. 519 00:33:39,448 --> 00:33:41,788 Killed 41 people. 520 00:33:42,326 --> 00:33:43,746 One every seven weeks. 521 00:33:43,786 --> 00:33:45,666 Same amount to cut hair. 522 00:33:46,831 --> 00:33:48,131 So that the feeling of killing him disappears. 523 00:33:48,374 --> 00:33:51,584 It's hard to forget big accomplishments. 524 00:33:51,627 --> 00:33:55,757 Now you spend your day defend the weak. 525 00:33:55,798 --> 00:33:57,298 People can change. What do you want? 526 00:33:57,675 --> 00:34:00,715 I represent the organization who can help you. 527 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:06,350 What if I told you can we cure your cancer? 528 00:34:06,976 --> 00:34:11,106 And give you the ability that many people dream of? 529 00:34:14,775 --> 00:34:18,825 That sounds like advertising, but it's not good ones, like Slap Chop. 530 00:34:18,863 --> 00:34:20,483 More like Shake-Weight-y. 531 00:34:20,531 --> 00:34:23,571 The world needs it super soldier. 532 00:34:23,618 --> 00:34:25,788 We don't just heal you. 533 00:34:25,828 --> 00:34:28,788 We will make you much better. 534 00:34:29,832 --> 00:34:31,042 Super hero. 535 00:34:31,375 --> 00:34:36,375 Listen, Agent Smith, I'm trying to be a hero and see the results. 536 00:34:36,839 --> 00:34:39,509 But if you're desperate, I will look for you. 537 00:34:41,886 --> 00:34:44,726 Unlucky. We are 540 meters from the school, so maybe you want to... 538 00:34:49,727 --> 00:34:50,977 He paid for the drinks himself. 539 00:34:56,651 --> 00:34:58,361 He said what? 540 00:35:21,050 --> 00:35:22,600 Hey, what's up? 541 00:35:23,594 --> 00:35:25,094 Hey. Excuse me. 542 00:35:26,555 --> 00:35:28,555 I had a nightmare Liam Neeson. 543 00:35:29,433 --> 00:35:32,603 I dreamed of kidnapping his daughter and he didn't accept it. 544 00:35:40,361 --> 00:35:44,581 The film was made in three series. 545 00:35:45,575 --> 00:35:48,745 So I thought what was possible he's a bad parent. 546 00:36:03,092 --> 00:36:06,762 The worst thing about cancer it doesn't affect you... 547 00:36:07,096 --> 00:36:09,976 but to people the one you love. 548 00:36:10,266 --> 00:36:13,016 I don't know if this person can help me... 549 00:36:13,060 --> 00:36:15,610 but I know there's only one way to help Vanessa. 550 00:36:19,775 --> 00:36:21,985 Isn't that what is done superhero? 551 00:36:34,332 --> 00:36:38,412 Let's make a list of pros and cons about being a superhero. 552 00:36:40,296 --> 00:36:43,256 Pro: They get lots of beautiful girls. 553 00:36:43,299 --> 00:36:44,719 Discount dry cleaning. 554 00:36:44,759 --> 00:36:48,769 Offer to play in a film, origin story and larger groups. 555 00:36:48,804 --> 00:36:51,974 Cons: They're all pathetic. 556 00:36:52,016 --> 00:36:53,766 I can hear you. 557 00:36:53,809 --> 00:36:56,939 I'm not talking to you, but to them. 558 00:36:56,979 --> 00:36:58,689 Stay here. 559 00:36:59,106 --> 00:37:01,146 You've been warned, Deadpool. 560 00:37:01,484 --> 00:37:05,114 You use your power arbitrary and embarrassing. 561 00:37:05,154 --> 00:37:07,324 You have to come with us. 562 00:37:07,365 --> 00:37:11,285 Listen, Colossus, I don't have time for bullshit! 563 00:37:11,327 --> 00:37:13,167 Who are you? 564 00:37:14,830 --> 00:37:16,630 Negasonic Teenage Warhead. 565 00:37:16,666 --> 00:37:20,126 Negasonic Teenage... What? 566 00:37:20,169 --> 00:37:21,969 That's the coolest name! 567 00:37:23,506 --> 00:37:26,136 You're some kind of sidekick? 568 00:37:26,175 --> 00:37:27,635 No. He's in training. 569 00:37:27,677 --> 00:37:29,137 Let me guess. 570 00:37:29,178 --> 00:37:31,678 The X-Men left you for what? Trivial work? 571 00:37:31,722 --> 00:37:32,842 What do you mean? 572 00:37:32,890 --> 00:37:35,310 I pretend you don't exist, Negasonic Teenage Warhead. 573 00:37:35,351 --> 00:37:36,651 Can we exchange names? 574 00:37:37,311 --> 00:37:38,311 Can we go? 575 00:37:38,354 --> 00:37:40,684 Look! I'm a teenage girl. 576 00:37:40,731 --> 00:37:42,981 I want anywhere just not here. 577 00:37:43,025 --> 00:37:45,195 I like to be quiet for a long time... 578 00:37:45,236 --> 00:37:48,696 followed by cruel comments, followed by silence again. 579 00:37:49,156 --> 00:37:52,496 So what are your options? Long silence... 580 00:37:52,535 --> 00:37:55,075 or cruel comments? Come on. 581 00:37:56,372 --> 00:37:57,662 I can't answer. 582 00:37:58,708 --> 00:38:00,668 We can't allow this, Deadpool. 583 00:38:00,710 --> 00:38:02,170 Come along quietly. 584 00:38:02,211 --> 00:38:04,501 You homosexuals from chromium! 585 00:38:04,547 --> 00:38:05,507 It is not good. 586 00:38:05,548 --> 00:38:07,048 You want to ruin my plans? 587 00:38:07,383 --> 00:38:11,843 Trust me, that bastard deserves to be punished. 588 00:38:11,887 --> 00:38:14,387 He's really evil. 589 00:38:14,765 --> 00:38:18,055 Besides... no one was hurt. 590 00:38:23,399 --> 00:38:25,699 He's already up there before we arrived. 591 00:38:25,735 --> 00:38:28,865 Wade, you're better than this. 592 00:38:28,905 --> 00:38:32,405 -Join. Do good. -Watch out. 593 00:38:32,450 --> 00:38:33,870 Be a superhero. 594 00:38:33,910 --> 00:38:34,870 Hear! 595 00:38:34,911 --> 00:38:37,251 The day I decided to fighting crime... 596 00:38:37,580 --> 00:38:40,710 the one in the room with the little whiner at the Neverland villa... 597 00:38:40,750 --> 00:38:45,590 belonging to an old bastard, bald and hideous looks like the head of Heaven's Gate... 598 00:38:45,630 --> 00:38:47,590 on that day... 599 00:38:47,632 --> 00:38:49,712 I sent you a friend request. 600 00:38:49,759 --> 00:38:52,219 But before that, I will carry out my plan. 601 00:38:52,261 --> 00:38:55,051 Either that or kick your ass! 602 00:38:55,097 --> 00:38:56,347 -Wade... -Hey. 603 00:38:56,390 --> 00:38:57,560 Shut up, Sinead! 604 00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:58,730 Hey, stupid! 605 00:38:58,768 --> 00:38:59,978 I hope you see... 606 00:39:04,774 --> 00:39:06,484 It is deeply regretted. 607 00:39:09,904 --> 00:39:12,114 Enough! 608 00:39:16,494 --> 00:39:17,914 Sick! 609 00:39:19,163 --> 00:39:20,283 It is not good. 610 00:39:20,331 --> 00:39:21,421 Wade, please. 611 00:39:21,457 --> 00:39:22,457 Hit the crotch! 612 00:39:24,585 --> 00:39:26,085 Your poor wife. 613 00:39:26,128 --> 00:39:27,968 You'd better stop. 614 00:39:31,509 --> 00:39:33,929 All dinosaurs were afraid of T. rex. 615 00:39:38,599 --> 00:39:40,769 This will get worse for you, big boy! 616 00:39:40,810 --> 00:39:41,980 This is embarrassing. 617 00:39:42,770 --> 00:39:44,530 Please, don't stand. 618 00:39:45,648 --> 00:39:48,108 Have you ever heard of a man with one leg? in an ass-kicking contest? 619 00:39:48,150 --> 00:39:49,610 Do you have an off switch? 620 00:39:49,652 --> 00:39:52,442 Yes, next to the prostate. Or is it a button to turn on? 621 00:39:52,488 --> 00:39:53,368 Enough! 622 00:40:03,124 --> 00:40:04,994 Let's talk to the Professor. 623 00:40:05,501 --> 00:40:07,291 McAvoy or Stewart? 624 00:40:07,336 --> 00:40:09,506 The timeline is confusing. 625 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,510 Dead or alive, you come with me! 626 00:40:13,551 --> 00:40:15,141 You'll recover, Wade. 627 00:40:15,386 --> 00:40:17,016 You always recover. 628 00:40:21,517 --> 00:40:24,977 Have you ever watched 127 Hours? Watch out for leaks. 629 00:40:28,691 --> 00:40:29,861 Good grief. 630 00:40:29,901 --> 00:40:30,991 Terrifying. 631 00:40:34,071 --> 00:40:36,191 That's the main scene, darling. 632 00:40:36,657 --> 00:40:38,577 Are You Listening, Lord? It's Me, Margaret. 633 00:40:49,545 --> 00:40:51,925 Everything got messy. 634 00:40:52,423 --> 00:40:55,423 When life ended tragically... 635 00:40:55,718 --> 00:40:59,978 generally caused by a stupid decision. 636 00:41:00,014 --> 00:41:03,224 Decisions that lead you to Disaster City. 637 00:41:03,267 --> 00:41:06,317 This? Well, this was my wrong decision. 638 00:41:06,896 --> 00:41:08,316 Mr. Wilson. 639 00:41:09,732 --> 00:41:14,232 I'm the happiest make other people happy. 640 00:41:14,278 --> 00:41:15,988 Finally you give up. 641 00:41:17,198 --> 00:41:19,158 Promise you will well. 642 00:41:19,867 --> 00:41:21,867 So I can fix it my relationship with someone. 643 00:41:21,911 --> 00:41:23,081 Of course. 644 00:41:23,788 --> 00:41:25,588 Don't do it His super costume is green. 645 00:41:26,874 --> 00:41:28,374 Or animation. 646 00:41:34,882 --> 00:41:37,922 Fast! Straight ahead. 647 00:41:48,521 --> 00:41:50,651 This place looks hygienic. 648 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,650 My first request are warmer hands. 649 00:41:54,235 --> 00:41:57,485 Good grief. And a warmer table. 650 00:41:59,073 --> 00:42:00,943 We need to create keywords. 651 00:42:01,284 --> 00:42:03,114 How about "pork and beans"? 652 00:42:07,373 --> 00:42:08,623 Slowly. 653 00:42:10,626 --> 00:42:12,916 You are very strong for a woman. 654 00:42:13,671 --> 00:42:15,091 You must be a man. 655 00:42:18,968 --> 00:42:20,178 What are the matches for? 656 00:42:20,469 --> 00:42:23,179 The habit of biting things or a Stallone fan? 657 00:42:24,724 --> 00:42:26,014 Be patient, Angel. 658 00:42:26,976 --> 00:42:28,726 Everything has its time. 659 00:42:28,769 --> 00:42:30,649 Are you room service or what? 660 00:42:32,231 --> 00:42:33,481 Another chatty person. 661 00:42:33,524 --> 00:42:35,404 I'm happy with First day at superhero camp. 662 00:42:35,443 --> 00:42:37,563 Be quiet. 663 00:42:40,907 --> 00:42:42,867 Mr. Wilson, my name is Ajax. 664 00:42:43,826 --> 00:42:45,916 I manage this place. 665 00:42:46,996 --> 00:42:50,286 It was my welcoming speech calming people down, for example... 666 00:42:50,333 --> 00:42:53,963 "It hurts a little," "it might feel uncomfortable." 667 00:42:54,003 --> 00:42:56,293 But not anymore. 668 00:42:56,339 --> 00:42:58,969 This place is not managed by the government. 669 00:42:59,008 --> 00:43:02,678 It's private institutions that are changing defective product like you... 670 00:43:02,720 --> 00:43:06,060 become a person with abilities amazing. 671 00:43:07,683 --> 00:43:10,973 But if you think super powers obtained without pain... 672 00:43:11,854 --> 00:43:12,684 Wrong. 673 00:43:13,356 --> 00:43:17,656 I injected you with that serum activates mutant genes in your DNA. 674 00:43:17,693 --> 00:43:21,653 For it to work, we have to give you pain. 675 00:43:27,078 --> 00:43:30,378 Have you ever heard "if you want an omelette, break an egg," right? 676 00:43:31,165 --> 00:43:32,545 I'm going to hurt you, Wade. 677 00:43:33,709 --> 00:43:36,259 I used to be a patient here too. 678 00:43:36,796 --> 00:43:39,336 The impact of this procedure is different for everyone. 679 00:43:39,674 --> 00:43:42,464 Makes Angel incredibly strong. 680 00:43:42,843 --> 00:43:46,843 In my case, improving my reflexes. 681 00:43:47,306 --> 00:43:50,266 Also burns my nerve endings, so I no longer feel pain. 682 00:43:51,978 --> 00:43:55,858 In fact, I didn't feel anything. 683 00:44:04,323 --> 00:44:07,113 Thank You! Thank You. 684 00:44:07,410 --> 00:44:09,210 There's something in your teeth. 685 00:44:10,079 --> 00:44:12,289 In the middle there. I don't... 686 00:44:12,331 --> 00:44:15,241 Leftover lettuce or something. 687 00:44:17,253 --> 00:44:19,713 Has been bothering me ever since. 688 00:44:21,132 --> 00:44:22,212 I'll make you see it. 689 00:44:22,466 --> 00:44:25,926 Is Ajax your real name? It sounds far-fetched. 690 00:44:25,970 --> 00:44:27,100 What is your real name? 691 00:44:27,138 --> 00:44:29,558 Kevin? Bruce? Scott? 692 00:44:29,599 --> 00:44:31,229 Mitch? Rickster? 693 00:44:31,893 --> 00:44:33,393 What is Basil Fawlty? 694 00:44:33,728 --> 00:44:35,188 Please joke around. 695 00:44:35,646 --> 00:44:38,566 The only one that didn't survive in this place is a sense of humor. 696 00:44:39,025 --> 00:44:40,315 We will see later. 697 00:44:40,359 --> 00:44:41,739 Yes, we'll see. 698 00:44:43,070 --> 00:44:44,620 He's all yours. 699 00:44:44,655 --> 00:44:45,905 Seriously. 700 00:44:46,407 --> 00:44:49,497 You left me together A less angry Rosie O'Donnell? 701 00:44:53,915 --> 00:44:55,955 Here's the procedure. 702 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,010 Adrenaline functions as the catalyst for the serum... 703 00:44:59,629 --> 00:45:02,139 then we have to make you suffer. 704 00:45:03,883 --> 00:45:08,713 If you're lucky, the mutant gene will activate and give you great abilities. 705 00:45:13,017 --> 00:45:15,857 Otherwise, we will continue to hurt you... 706 00:45:17,688 --> 00:45:20,398 in a new and different way, and it keeps getting sicker... 707 00:45:23,069 --> 00:45:25,449 until you finally mutate. 708 00:45:27,031 --> 00:45:28,291 Or die. 709 00:45:35,122 --> 00:45:36,742 You need a list before you die. 710 00:45:36,791 --> 00:45:39,051 You mean wish list? 711 00:45:39,085 --> 00:45:41,755 I want to light a cigarette with the Olympic torch. 712 00:45:42,338 --> 00:45:44,258 Then give it to me. 713 00:45:44,298 --> 00:45:50,218 Free fall without clothes together Sacramento Monarchs women's basketball team. 714 00:45:51,305 --> 00:45:54,395 Everything on my list involves being naked in a public place. 715 00:45:54,892 --> 00:45:57,812 Finally, release the gas and force it Meredith Baxter-Birney inhaled it. 716 00:45:58,062 --> 00:46:01,182 No. I inhaled gas from Meredith Baxter-Birney. 717 00:46:05,861 --> 00:46:09,281 Make banana pancakes for my children. 718 00:46:12,702 --> 00:46:14,742 Vanessa. 719 00:46:18,249 --> 00:46:20,669 I want to see Vanessa. 720 00:46:20,710 --> 00:46:22,090 You're so sweet. 721 00:46:22,128 --> 00:46:25,548 I don't know anything else, but I was touched. 722 00:46:25,590 --> 00:46:26,720 We were just joking. 723 00:46:26,757 --> 00:46:29,057 No. It is okay. 724 00:46:30,136 --> 00:46:31,806 I support redirection. 725 00:46:32,555 --> 00:46:34,935 We don't want you to die, do we? 726 00:46:34,974 --> 00:46:36,804 Don't listen to him, Cunningham. 727 00:46:37,768 --> 00:46:40,188 How strong is he really... 728 00:46:40,229 --> 00:46:43,109 if his name is Francis? 729 00:46:43,733 --> 00:46:44,813 Francis? 730 00:46:45,109 --> 00:46:46,569 That's his real name. 731 00:46:47,153 --> 00:46:50,613 He got the name "Ajax" from dish soap. 732 00:46:52,658 --> 00:46:56,248 F, R, A, N, C, I... 733 00:46:59,916 --> 00:47:02,756 I stole the dry cleaning labels from your lab coat. 734 00:47:03,294 --> 00:47:07,084 I can give you superhero discount. 735 00:47:07,131 --> 00:47:08,541 You're really annoying. 736 00:47:08,591 --> 00:47:09,681 Thank You. 737 00:47:09,717 --> 00:47:10,927 I've never heard of that. 738 00:47:10,968 --> 00:47:14,228 Help us by close your mouth. 739 00:47:14,263 --> 00:47:16,263 Or I'll sew your mouth shut. 740 00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:19,860 It's best not to. 741 00:47:19,894 --> 00:47:23,104 This is a matter of torture continuously... 742 00:47:23,147 --> 00:47:26,107 that is, you can't hurt even more. 743 00:47:28,778 --> 00:47:31,118 Is that what you think? 744 00:47:36,410 --> 00:47:38,920 If this doesn't open your mutation, then... 745 00:47:39,747 --> 00:47:40,997 no one can. 746 00:47:41,457 --> 00:47:44,417 We will lower the oxygen levels in the air... 747 00:47:44,460 --> 00:47:47,130 until you feel suffocated. 748 00:47:47,421 --> 00:47:50,591 If your brain waves slow down, that means you're going to faint... 749 00:47:51,259 --> 00:47:52,349 we increased the oxygen. 750 00:47:53,427 --> 00:47:54,807 If your heart rate slows down... 751 00:47:54,845 --> 00:47:57,595 means you can breathe... 752 00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:58,980 we will lower it again. 753 00:47:59,642 --> 00:48:03,312 That's where we leave you. Right there. 754 00:48:03,646 --> 00:48:05,936 I think you guys are cruel. 755 00:48:05,982 --> 00:48:08,442 You know what's funny? 756 00:48:09,151 --> 00:48:11,521 You still think we made you be a superhero. 757 00:48:12,363 --> 00:48:15,823 You. Dishonorable expulsion. 758 00:48:16,617 --> 00:48:18,657 Prostitution enthusiast. 759 00:48:19,328 --> 00:48:20,998 You're nothing. 760 00:48:21,956 --> 00:48:23,376 Let me tell you a little secret, Wade. 761 00:48:24,208 --> 00:48:28,338 This place doesn't make superheroes, we make super slaves. 762 00:48:29,380 --> 00:48:33,180 You will be fitted with a control collar and auction you off to the highest bidder. 763 00:48:33,968 --> 00:48:35,348 I don't know what they will tell you. 764 00:48:36,178 --> 00:48:39,638 Terrorizing citizens, killing freedom fighter. 765 00:48:41,809 --> 00:48:44,649 Maybe just mow the lawn. 766 00:48:45,146 --> 00:48:47,566 Why are you here? 767 00:48:52,862 --> 00:48:55,652 You won't be able to go home after this. 768 00:48:55,698 --> 00:48:57,908 That's a brave face. 769 00:48:58,993 --> 00:49:00,533 Wait! Wait. 770 00:49:02,872 --> 00:49:06,742 Seriously, there's something in your teeth now. 771 00:49:08,711 --> 00:49:10,051 Enjoy your weekend. 772 00:49:10,421 --> 00:49:12,171 "Weekend"? Repeat. 773 00:49:12,214 --> 00:49:13,384 Weekend? 774 00:49:55,091 --> 00:49:57,221 Did I say this is a love story? 775 00:49:57,260 --> 00:49:59,680 No, this is a horror film. 776 00:50:16,153 --> 00:50:18,323 Good grief. 777 00:50:18,364 --> 00:50:21,614 Some people miss opportunities Become King of the School. 778 00:50:21,659 --> 00:50:23,789 What did you do to me? 779 00:50:23,828 --> 00:50:27,168 I just raised the level your stress is enough to trigger a mutation. 780 00:50:27,206 --> 00:50:29,336 You sadistic bastard! 781 00:50:30,042 --> 00:50:31,542 I healed you, Wade. 782 00:50:32,378 --> 00:50:34,008 Your mutation can heal anything. 783 00:50:35,131 --> 00:50:37,891 Your cells attack cancer as quickly as the cancer forms. 784 00:50:39,135 --> 00:50:41,715 I've seen side effects similar before. 785 00:50:43,014 --> 00:50:44,054 I can heal... 786 00:50:47,643 --> 00:50:49,313 but where's the fun in that? 787 00:50:51,647 --> 00:50:54,197 I'll close it again, Wade. 788 00:50:55,985 --> 00:50:57,945 Not because it's necessary. 789 00:51:01,908 --> 00:51:03,618 Because I want to. 790 00:51:18,090 --> 00:51:19,300 Alright. 791 00:51:19,342 --> 00:51:20,552 Let him go. 792 00:51:23,804 --> 00:51:25,594 You smell like dirt. 793 00:51:28,893 --> 00:51:29,933 Fuck. 794 00:51:30,853 --> 00:51:32,773 No problem. 795 00:51:33,856 --> 00:51:35,816 We owe him that. 796 00:51:35,858 --> 00:51:38,238 Go. Come on. 797 00:51:39,028 --> 00:51:40,368 Go. 798 00:51:51,374 --> 00:51:52,994 Quick question. 799 00:51:55,253 --> 00:51:57,293 What's my name? 800 00:52:03,052 --> 00:52:04,382 I do not think so. 801 00:52:06,264 --> 00:52:09,014 Sorry, Francis. My mouth is tightly closed. 802 00:52:42,008 --> 00:52:44,468 OXYGEN 803 00:52:56,606 --> 00:52:57,606 OXYGEN COOLED - LIQUID 804 00:54:05,466 --> 00:54:06,886 You don't want to kill me. 805 00:54:06,926 --> 00:54:09,176 Only I can restore your ugly face. 806 00:55:05,902 --> 00:55:07,442 What's my name? 807 00:55:13,618 --> 00:55:14,788 Wade. 808 00:56:22,186 --> 00:56:25,226 Not only did I get it cured of cancer... 809 00:56:26,732 --> 00:56:29,402 I can recover of everything. 810 00:56:33,072 --> 00:56:35,322 But there's one thing... 811 00:56:35,366 --> 00:56:36,996 that really matters. 812 00:57:06,439 --> 00:57:07,529 Come on. 813 00:57:12,862 --> 00:57:15,572 That must hurt. 814 00:57:16,574 --> 00:57:18,034 Thank You. 815 00:57:29,962 --> 00:57:32,212 He's so ugly. 816 00:57:32,256 --> 00:57:33,676 Look at his face. 817 00:57:33,716 --> 00:57:36,096 Good grief. Poor guy. 818 00:57:36,135 --> 00:57:37,265 Don't look at him, darling. 819 00:57:37,303 --> 00:57:38,463 Strange people. 820 00:57:58,824 --> 00:58:02,164 No. I don't want to make it his life is as bad as mine. 821 00:58:02,453 --> 00:58:05,033 Come on, Wade, no way that bad. 822 00:58:05,081 --> 00:58:06,381 Nonsense! 823 00:58:06,415 --> 00:58:09,705 I'm a monster inside and out. My place is in the circus. 824 00:58:09,752 --> 00:58:12,292 Vanessa loves you, Wade. He doesn't care about you... 825 00:58:14,090 --> 00:58:15,010 Do you like what you see? 826 00:58:15,258 --> 00:58:16,428 No. 827 00:58:16,926 --> 00:58:20,926 You look like an avocado making love with avocado is even older and disgusting. 828 00:58:21,305 --> 00:58:22,095 Yes. 829 00:58:22,139 --> 00:58:24,229 Not slowly. Like making love while hating. 830 00:58:24,267 --> 00:58:26,227 Their relationship is in trouble... 831 00:58:26,269 --> 00:58:29,689 and that's the only outlet without harsh action. 832 00:58:29,981 --> 00:58:32,491 And the only one who can fix this ugly face... 833 00:58:32,525 --> 00:58:35,235 is an English bastard who manages the mutant factory. 834 00:58:35,278 --> 00:58:37,238 And he disappeared. Poof! 835 00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,950 You have to do something to finish this... 836 00:58:38,990 --> 00:58:42,080 because now, you only have one goal. 837 00:58:42,118 --> 00:58:43,328 So true. 838 00:58:43,369 --> 00:58:45,249 -Find Francis. -Starring in a horror film. 839 00:58:45,288 --> 00:58:46,248 What? 840 00:58:46,289 --> 00:58:48,499 Star in your own horror movie. 841 00:58:48,541 --> 00:58:52,381 Because you look like Freddy Krueger map-faced Utah. 842 00:58:53,212 --> 00:58:54,962 This is what I will do. 843 00:58:55,006 --> 00:58:57,676 I'll finish off the horde someone handed over Francis... 844 00:58:57,717 --> 00:59:00,097 force him to fix my face, then I'll shoot him in the head. 845 00:59:00,136 --> 00:59:01,806 I fucked the hole in his brain. 846 00:59:01,846 --> 00:59:04,976 I don't want to see that or think about it again. 847 00:59:05,016 --> 00:59:07,266 But the bastard thought you're dead, right? 848 00:59:07,310 --> 00:59:07,980 Yes. 849 00:59:08,019 --> 00:59:09,939 That's good. Keep it that way. 850 00:59:09,979 --> 00:59:11,609 Should I wear a mask? 851 00:59:11,647 --> 00:59:14,647 Yes. Thick mask. Always. 852 00:59:15,359 --> 00:59:16,359 Sorry... 853 00:59:16,402 --> 00:59:19,022 you're scary. 854 00:59:19,071 --> 00:59:20,981 Your face is like a nightmare. 855 00:59:21,032 --> 00:59:22,442 Like toothy testicles. 856 00:59:22,491 --> 00:59:24,241 You will die alone. 857 00:59:24,285 --> 00:59:25,865 I mean, if you could die. 858 00:59:26,495 --> 00:59:28,455 For everyone's good. 859 00:59:28,497 --> 00:59:29,787 That's enough. 860 00:59:30,041 --> 00:59:31,841 You need a costume and nicknames... 861 00:59:31,876 --> 00:59:33,796 like Wade the Joker... 862 00:59:34,170 --> 00:59:37,340 or Devileram, Mr. Anti-death. 863 00:59:38,174 --> 00:59:39,174 Unlucky. 864 00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:40,850 What? 865 00:59:41,677 --> 00:59:43,677 I bet you'll die, now... 866 00:59:43,721 --> 00:59:45,311 I don't think I'll win... 867 00:59:45,348 --> 00:59:46,228 Bet on death. 868 00:59:50,228 --> 00:59:52,528 Captain Deadpool... 869 00:59:54,398 --> 00:59:55,528 No, just... 870 00:59:55,566 --> 00:59:57,316 -Just Deadpool, yeah. -Just Deadpool. 871 00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,370 For you, Mr. Pools. 872 00:59:59,654 --> 01:00:02,154 Deadpool. Sounds like a trademark. 873 01:00:16,712 --> 01:00:18,832 My revenge will be cruel. 874 01:00:19,882 --> 01:00:20,882 Where is Francis? 875 01:00:35,189 --> 01:00:36,859 Where is Francis? 876 01:00:45,032 --> 01:00:46,902 Soda water and lemon for bloodstains. 877 01:00:48,244 --> 01:00:51,204 Or use red. Stupid. 878 01:01:09,932 --> 01:01:11,392 Don't let me ask you twice. 879 01:01:12,768 --> 01:01:14,108 Where... 880 01:01:14,145 --> 01:01:16,275 ...Francis? 881 01:01:16,898 --> 01:01:18,568 He made me ask twice. 882 01:01:18,608 --> 01:01:20,608 This mask muffles my voice? 883 01:01:25,448 --> 01:01:26,908 Where is Francis? 884 01:01:29,493 --> 01:01:31,323 Where is Francis? 885 01:01:40,004 --> 01:01:43,424 You will be killed by an ice car. 886 01:01:43,466 --> 01:01:44,636 Where is Francis? 887 01:01:46,093 --> 01:01:47,173 No! Please! 888 01:01:47,803 --> 01:01:51,303 Good grief! Forgive me! 889 01:01:51,807 --> 01:01:54,477 You monkey! 890 01:01:57,521 --> 01:02:01,141 Where is Francis? 891 01:02:02,151 --> 01:02:03,441 This is confusing. 892 01:02:03,486 --> 01:02:06,446 Is it sexism if I hit you? Or is it sexier if it doesn't hit you? 893 01:02:06,489 --> 01:02:08,789 The lines get really... blurry. 894 01:02:09,033 --> 01:02:10,953 Where is Francis? 895 01:02:12,662 --> 01:02:15,952 Tell me where your boss is or you will die! 896 01:02:16,499 --> 01:02:18,169 In five minutes! 897 01:02:22,838 --> 01:02:24,838 AGENT SMITH 898 01:02:28,302 --> 01:02:30,012 Don't hesitate to call me. 899 01:02:45,695 --> 01:02:47,865 Nice to see you, Jared. 900 01:02:49,031 --> 01:02:50,491 I asked for long bread. 901 01:02:50,950 --> 01:02:51,830 Fully loaded. 902 01:03:07,383 --> 01:03:09,003 41 kills. 903 01:03:09,051 --> 01:03:11,461 Now 89. Soon 90. 904 01:03:12,221 --> 01:03:13,551 Mr. Wilson? 905 01:03:15,349 --> 01:03:17,519 You look very alive. 906 01:03:18,311 --> 01:03:19,401 Only on the outside! 907 01:03:20,062 --> 01:03:22,982 -This will be bad for me, huh? -Correct. 908 01:03:23,024 --> 01:03:24,194 Where's your boss? 909 01:03:24,233 --> 01:03:25,733 I can tell you the location... 910 01:03:27,570 --> 01:03:29,410 You'll tell. But before... 911 01:03:29,989 --> 01:03:32,329 It's best not to look. 912 01:03:32,366 --> 01:03:33,576 This little pig went to... 913 01:03:35,745 --> 01:03:37,995 Thank you, Agent Smith. 914 01:03:41,584 --> 01:03:42,334 Taxi! 915 01:03:44,086 --> 01:03:46,376 Get on! Good day for a walk. 916 01:03:48,382 --> 01:03:49,752 We know what happens next. 917 01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:54,930 You shouldn't see this. 918 01:04:02,897 --> 01:04:04,687 Now. Now it's clear. 919 01:04:12,615 --> 01:04:14,575 We're here. 920 01:04:15,451 --> 01:04:18,571 Sorry I bled in your trash. 921 01:04:24,794 --> 01:04:26,874 Soda water and lemon for bloodstains. 922 01:04:29,090 --> 01:04:31,600 There are types of anger that can't be controlled... 923 01:04:31,634 --> 01:04:36,724 for example when your plans end by mutilating the wrong person! 924 01:04:37,431 --> 01:04:41,931 And when it comes to healing wounds, home is the best place. 925 01:04:42,770 --> 01:04:46,990 I'm in the same house as the person you are I've seen that old lady from the laundry, Al. 926 01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:48,990 I miss cocaine. 927 01:04:49,569 --> 01:04:50,319 He. 928 01:04:51,404 --> 01:04:53,984 Four invisible walls within four visible walls. 929 01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:56,830 That means there are 16 walls. 930 01:04:57,326 --> 01:05:02,836 He's like Robin to my Batman, except he's old, black, and blind... 931 01:05:02,873 --> 01:05:04,493 and I think he fell in love with me. 932 01:05:04,959 --> 01:05:08,339 Wait, I'm sure Robin also love Batman. 933 01:05:18,347 --> 01:05:19,347 Al? 934 01:05:21,726 --> 01:05:23,016 Good morning, sleepyhead. 935 01:05:24,604 --> 01:05:26,814 It smells like pants classy old lady here. 936 01:05:26,856 --> 01:05:28,606 Yes, I'm old. I'm wearing pants. 937 01:05:28,858 --> 01:05:30,408 But you're not a classy woman. 938 01:05:31,569 --> 01:05:33,239 Very comfortable. 939 01:05:34,030 --> 01:05:37,040 Benefits of being blind: I don't I've seen you in Crocs. 940 01:05:37,074 --> 01:05:38,574 My rubber boots for masturbating? 941 01:05:38,618 --> 01:05:39,578 Yes I know. 942 01:05:40,161 --> 01:05:42,831 The downside of being blind is... 943 01:05:42,872 --> 01:05:45,032 I heard everything in this flat. 944 01:05:47,376 --> 01:05:48,586 I'll rest first. 945 01:05:48,628 --> 01:05:49,668 Bactin? 946 01:05:49,712 --> 01:05:53,752 Yes. Bactin is enough. 947 01:05:54,967 --> 01:05:58,847 How's Kullen? IKEA doesn't assemble them. 948 01:05:58,888 --> 01:06:01,848 So true. I don't mind Kullen. 949 01:06:01,891 --> 01:06:03,731 That's an improvement from Hurdal. 950 01:06:04,393 --> 01:06:07,013 Come on. Everything is progress compared to Hurdal. 951 01:06:07,063 --> 01:06:10,563 I prefer Hemnes... Or Trysil instead of Hurdal. 952 01:06:11,734 --> 01:06:13,984 I'm not happy until I saw Kullen. 953 01:06:14,403 --> 01:06:15,193 Ask for a screwdriver. 954 01:06:15,238 --> 01:06:16,658 Here? Now? Just kidding. 955 01:06:16,697 --> 01:06:17,867 I know it's been a long time for you. 956 01:06:17,907 --> 01:06:19,077 You'll be surprised. 957 01:06:19,742 --> 01:06:20,862 I'm so disgusted. 958 01:06:22,870 --> 01:06:25,250 Finished. 959 01:06:31,087 --> 01:06:34,177 I hope I never do heard Craigslist. 960 01:06:34,590 --> 01:06:37,220 And I quote, "Looking for a roommate, blind to disability." 961 01:06:37,260 --> 01:06:38,390 "Have skilled hands." 962 01:06:38,427 --> 01:06:40,727 Or I assemble IKEA and you pay rent? 963 01:06:40,763 --> 01:06:42,593 Why are you being annoying this morning? 964 01:06:43,391 --> 01:06:44,521 Let's summarize. 965 01:06:44,559 --> 01:06:46,899 The bastard who changed me so strange people... 966 01:06:46,936 --> 01:06:48,566 slipped through my hands today. 967 01:06:50,231 --> 01:06:51,441 One hand. 968 01:06:51,857 --> 01:06:55,027 Catching him is the only way to be handsome again, so that my ex will come back... 969 01:06:55,069 --> 01:06:57,369 and prevent this happens to other people. 970 01:06:57,405 --> 01:07:01,115 So, yeah, today it's annoying. 971 01:07:03,077 --> 01:07:04,617 Sorry to pass wind. 972 01:07:22,096 --> 01:07:24,056 I know who people are wearing the red costume. 973 01:07:26,434 --> 01:07:28,304 Wade Wilson. 974 01:07:29,270 --> 01:07:31,610 I will also wear a mask if my face was like that. 975 01:07:32,273 --> 01:07:33,813 I hope I can recover like him. 976 01:07:37,778 --> 01:07:40,578 Still, we'll get rid of him. 977 01:07:40,615 --> 01:07:41,825 Our way. 978 01:07:42,241 --> 01:07:43,991 Correct. If he recovers? 979 01:07:44,994 --> 01:07:46,114 He can't. 980 01:07:46,162 --> 01:07:48,782 If there's nothing left of him to recover. 981 01:07:48,831 --> 01:07:52,751 Very funny. I almost missed it. 982 01:07:54,170 --> 01:07:55,590 I like challenges. 983 01:07:56,964 --> 01:07:59,134 But he's bad for business. 984 01:07:59,175 --> 01:08:00,845 Let's go find him. 985 01:08:05,348 --> 01:08:06,768 Tylenol PM? 986 01:08:06,807 --> 01:08:09,357 You can throw it away with Bactin. 987 01:08:09,685 --> 01:08:12,105 I've swallowed Percocet... 988 01:08:12,146 --> 01:08:16,196 and right now I'm fly around Saturn. 989 01:08:18,986 --> 01:08:21,026 But I appreciate your offer. 990 01:08:21,948 --> 01:08:26,408 Am I crazy, or your hands are very small? 991 01:08:26,452 --> 01:08:28,202 Almost as big as a KFC spoon. 992 01:08:30,373 --> 01:08:32,623 I understand why you're upset... 993 01:08:32,667 --> 01:08:35,627 but you won't rest until you find this woman 994 01:08:35,670 --> 01:08:37,090 and express your feelings to him. 995 01:08:37,129 --> 01:08:40,509 How many times do I have to say it, Mrs. Magoo? He won't want to see me. 996 01:08:40,549 --> 01:08:42,309 If you could see me, you will understand. 997 01:08:42,343 --> 01:08:43,463 Appearance isn't everything. 998 01:08:43,511 --> 01:08:44,641 Appearance is everything. 999 01:08:44,679 --> 01:08:46,769 You've heard David Beckham talking? 1000 01:08:46,806 --> 01:08:48,846 His voice seemed to be gone inhale helium. 1001 01:08:49,225 --> 01:08:52,515 You think Ryan Reynolds can be successful because of his acting skills? 1002 01:08:52,562 --> 01:08:53,972 Love is blind, Wade. 1003 01:08:54,021 --> 01:08:54,681 No. 1004 01:08:55,982 --> 01:08:57,232 You're the blind one. 1005 01:08:57,900 --> 01:09:00,870 So you just want to lie down and whine? 1006 01:09:00,903 --> 01:09:02,943 No, I'll wait until this hand going through puberty... 1007 01:09:02,989 --> 01:09:05,039 then I made plans for Christmas Day new one. 1008 01:09:05,908 --> 01:09:08,578 For a while, it's best to leave this room. 1009 01:09:09,245 --> 01:09:11,665 It sure feels big with this hand. 1010 01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:15,760 Go. 1011 01:09:16,252 --> 01:09:19,212 The doctor said, "The bad news is, You don't have much time." 1012 01:09:19,255 --> 01:09:20,885 Then the patient said, "How long do I have?" 1013 01:09:20,923 --> 01:09:22,793 The doctor said, "Five." 1014 01:09:22,842 --> 01:09:24,462 The guy said, "Five what?" 1015 01:09:24,510 --> 01:09:28,430 And the doctor said, "Four, three, two..." 1016 01:09:35,605 --> 01:09:37,105 Can I help you, ladies? 1017 01:09:39,734 --> 01:09:40,854 I hope so. 1018 01:09:45,114 --> 01:09:49,204 I heard you know where my friend's location. 1019 01:09:49,785 --> 01:09:50,785 His name is Wade Wilson. 1020 01:09:52,288 --> 01:09:53,418 Excuse me. 1021 01:09:53,456 --> 01:09:55,036 I don't know that name. 1022 01:10:02,381 --> 01:10:04,711 Hey, you shouldn't behind the bar. 1023 01:10:08,471 --> 01:10:10,351 I've seen this girl. 1024 01:10:10,389 --> 01:10:12,939 This must be Vanessa. I've heard a lot about you. 1025 01:10:17,647 --> 01:10:19,397 Darling, take a look around you. 1026 01:10:19,982 --> 01:10:22,602 This is not the place to do that kind of thing. 1027 01:10:23,986 --> 01:10:25,776 Calm down, Angel. 1028 01:10:25,821 --> 01:10:27,151 Put the little guy down. 1029 01:10:28,741 --> 01:10:30,491 We get what we need. 1030 01:10:30,910 --> 01:10:32,000 Are you sure? 1031 01:10:32,662 --> 01:10:35,782 You don't want clothes the colored one? 1032 01:10:35,831 --> 01:10:38,491 Have fun at the Blade II show. 1033 01:10:42,171 --> 01:10:43,831 Thank you for helping me. 1034 01:10:48,844 --> 01:10:53,184 Wade, we have a problem. By "we" I mean "you." 1035 01:10:54,016 --> 01:10:55,686 I can't believe I did this. 1036 01:10:56,185 --> 01:10:59,065 Is there a word for half afraid, half angry? 1037 01:10:59,105 --> 01:11:01,275 Yes, "angry", I guess. 1038 01:11:01,315 --> 01:11:03,105 I've decided what do you want to say to him? 1039 01:11:03,150 --> 01:11:04,160 Damned! 1040 01:11:04,485 --> 01:11:06,365 Maybe don't start with that. 1041 01:11:12,285 --> 01:11:15,575 Performing on our stage today... 1042 01:11:15,621 --> 01:11:17,831 Applause for Saints! 1043 01:11:21,627 --> 01:11:24,007 Or as I call it to him, Irony. 1044 01:11:24,046 --> 01:11:26,176 We found him before those bastards. 1045 01:11:26,215 --> 01:11:27,675 Know where he came from here? 1046 01:11:27,717 --> 01:11:30,887 Because I keep stalking that beautiful girl. 1047 01:11:55,870 --> 01:11:59,380 Every time I see him, feels like the first time. 1048 01:12:00,207 --> 01:12:02,377 Especially from this angle. 1049 01:12:25,858 --> 01:12:29,908 You can't buy love, though you can rent it for three minutes. 1050 01:12:32,949 --> 01:12:35,619 You weak bastard! 1051 01:12:36,369 --> 01:12:37,369 Come on! 1052 01:12:38,621 --> 01:12:41,921 Come on, control yourself. This isn't about me, this is about Vanessa. 1053 01:12:46,045 --> 01:12:47,375 Here he is. 1054 01:12:49,966 --> 01:12:51,596 Maximum effort. 1055 01:12:55,137 --> 01:12:56,227 Vanessa. 1056 01:12:58,766 --> 01:13:02,896 Someone is looking for you behind. He said old girlfriend. 1057 01:13:30,256 --> 01:13:31,336 I thought so. 1058 01:13:33,175 --> 01:13:35,135 Strange curved corners. 1059 01:13:36,679 --> 01:13:38,519 Like a jigsaw puzzle. 1060 01:13:48,608 --> 01:13:50,488 You can thank me to Wade Wilson for this. 1061 01:13:59,493 --> 01:14:01,033 Hey! Where's he going? 1062 01:14:01,954 --> 01:14:04,534 I saw him go backwards. Chase him. 1063 01:14:32,568 --> 01:14:34,278 Fuck! 1064 01:14:34,320 --> 01:14:36,700 -Wait. Let's... -Damned... 1065 01:14:36,739 --> 01:14:38,619 -We can talk about... -Insolent! Bastard! 1066 01:14:38,658 --> 01:14:39,948 Or you can hit it. 1067 01:14:39,992 --> 01:14:41,862 -Yes, Yes, Yes. -Unlucky! 1068 01:14:41,911 --> 01:14:44,581 -No! Okay. -Unlucky! 1069 01:14:45,039 --> 01:14:46,089 -Unlucky! -Hey... 1070 01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:49,203 calm down. Calm. 1071 01:14:49,252 --> 01:14:50,542 That's a good start. 1072 01:14:50,586 --> 01:14:52,716 I'll tear it... 1073 01:14:52,755 --> 01:14:53,715 Wait. 1074 01:14:53,756 --> 01:14:55,296 -Find it! Find it. -What? 1075 01:14:55,341 --> 01:14:56,761 -I'll be angry. -Okay. 1076 01:14:57,176 --> 01:14:58,966 Okay. Okay. 1077 01:14:59,011 --> 01:15:00,341 This. This is Vanessa. 1078 01:15:00,388 --> 01:15:02,388 -What? -Wait. From Francis. 1079 01:15:02,431 --> 01:15:03,631 He wants you to meet him. 1080 01:15:03,683 --> 01:15:05,143 Do You Want It? Tyco Scrapyard, 12 Noon. Greetings, Ajax 1081 01:15:05,184 --> 01:15:06,894 -What is that? -It's an emoji. 1082 01:15:06,936 --> 01:15:09,066 You know, stupid face with a smile and eyes? 1083 01:15:09,105 --> 01:15:11,435 This whole time I thought it was chocolate yogurt. 1084 01:15:12,108 --> 01:15:13,358 I need a weapon. 1085 01:15:13,401 --> 01:15:14,531 Which one? 1086 01:15:14,569 --> 01:15:15,739 I need all the weapons! 1087 01:15:15,778 --> 01:15:16,948 Okay. 1088 01:15:34,797 --> 01:15:36,047 THE SEXIEST MAN IN THE WORLD! HUGH JACKMAN 1089 01:15:37,633 --> 01:15:39,133 There are about three thousand bullets. 1090 01:15:40,094 --> 01:15:42,134 We know what can be I did it with 12 bullets. 1091 01:15:42,555 --> 01:15:44,765 Hey, be careful with that, Ronnie Milsap! 1092 01:15:44,807 --> 01:15:45,897 We are in front of you. 1093 01:15:47,310 --> 01:15:50,900 I was going to assemble the Borje overnight, but this is more interesting. 1094 01:15:52,064 --> 01:15:54,894 I told you, we choose Urvaj, not Borje. 1095 01:15:54,942 --> 01:15:56,942 Remember that well or get lost. 1096 01:15:56,986 --> 01:15:59,776 Unlucky. That's the whole gun in this house. 1097 01:15:59,822 --> 01:16:01,572 No. Come on. Give. 1098 01:16:01,949 --> 01:16:03,449 Come on, give it. 1099 01:16:04,827 --> 01:16:05,957 Quickly close. 1100 01:16:05,995 --> 01:16:06,745 You're a jerk. 1101 01:16:08,831 --> 01:16:11,621 .45 caliber. I like. 1102 01:16:13,753 --> 01:16:15,003 Wade... 1103 01:16:16,172 --> 01:16:18,922 I can come with you, but I don't want to. 1104 01:16:23,471 --> 01:16:24,641 Listen, Al... 1105 01:16:25,681 --> 01:16:30,851 if we don't see each other again, know that I love you very much. 1106 01:16:31,812 --> 01:16:36,942 And there were 116 kilos of cocaine stored in this apartment... 1107 01:16:36,984 --> 01:16:39,774 near a cure for blindness. Good luck. 1108 01:16:45,284 --> 01:16:46,534 You want to get high? 1109 01:16:56,671 --> 01:16:58,181 Put him here. 1110 01:17:08,391 --> 01:17:09,561 Open it. 1111 01:17:12,019 --> 01:17:14,569 Thank you, coward. I mean you. 1112 01:17:15,064 --> 01:17:18,354 You talk a lot too. You and Wade. 1113 01:17:18,401 --> 01:17:21,701 I told you you were wrong arrest people. 1114 01:17:21,737 --> 01:17:23,237 My boyfriend is dead. 1115 01:17:23,281 --> 01:17:26,751 I think so too. But he kept coming back. 1116 01:17:27,034 --> 01:17:28,364 Like cockroaches... 1117 01:17:28,411 --> 01:17:29,711 but worse. 1118 01:17:30,746 --> 01:17:34,206 Maybe I don't feel anything, but he felt. 1119 01:17:35,251 --> 01:17:37,131 Let's see him fight if you bet. 1120 01:17:46,095 --> 01:17:47,595 Ripley, from Alien 3! 1121 01:17:48,222 --> 01:17:50,052 Gosh, you're old. 1122 01:17:51,726 --> 01:17:54,146 Fake laugh. Hiding the pain. 1123 01:17:54,186 --> 01:17:55,606 Call Zakar Silver. 1124 01:17:55,646 --> 01:17:57,896 Do you want to eat? The best-selling special menu? 1125 01:17:57,940 --> 01:18:00,450 As if there was something wrong with eat before afternoon or save money. 1126 01:18:00,860 --> 01:18:04,200 No. You know criminals who did you let go? 1127 01:18:04,822 --> 01:18:06,732 He kidnapped my girlfriend. 1128 01:18:06,782 --> 01:18:08,152 Help me save him. 1129 01:18:08,534 --> 01:18:10,414 Is that you, Wade? 1130 01:18:10,453 --> 01:18:14,833 Yes, it's me, Deadpool, and I have an offer you can't refuse. 1131 01:18:17,543 --> 01:18:18,753 I'll wait outside. 1132 01:18:18,794 --> 01:18:20,874 This house is big. Strange, I only saw the two of you. 1133 01:18:20,922 --> 01:18:24,172 As if the studio couldn't afford it hire another X-Man. 1134 01:18:27,720 --> 01:18:29,270 I think that's why... 1135 01:18:29,305 --> 01:18:32,475 Cocoon movie is pure pornography. 1136 01:18:32,975 --> 01:18:34,765 Who invited? this shiny guy? 1137 01:18:34,810 --> 01:18:36,900 Shiny, but deadly. 1138 01:18:36,938 --> 01:18:40,988 My steel friend behind agreed to help me. 1139 01:18:41,525 --> 01:18:45,575 The tradeoff, I'll consider join his music group. 1140 01:18:45,613 --> 01:18:46,903 Not a music group. 1141 01:18:46,948 --> 01:18:47,988 Of course not. 1142 01:18:49,325 --> 01:18:50,995 Managed to get the Gita? 1143 01:18:51,786 --> 01:18:54,206 I'm trying to keep Mr. Pool... 1144 01:18:54,247 --> 01:18:57,877 But Bandhu more handsome and creative than me. 1145 01:18:58,542 --> 01:19:00,292 I think you are very handsome. 1146 01:19:06,175 --> 01:19:07,175 Dopinder. 1147 01:19:09,136 --> 01:19:10,136 What sound is that? 1148 01:19:12,181 --> 01:19:17,761 That's Bandhu in the trunk. 1149 01:19:18,479 --> 01:19:19,779 Whose tires? 1150 01:19:19,814 --> 01:19:22,524 My rival in love, Bandhu. He was tied to the trunk. 1151 01:19:22,567 --> 01:19:24,237 As you said, DP. 1152 01:19:24,277 --> 01:19:28,157 I'll cut his stomach like a fish, then dumped his body in front of Gita's door. 1153 01:19:29,448 --> 01:19:31,158 I didn't tell him to! 1154 01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:33,870 Certainly not. He misunderstood. 1155 01:19:33,911 --> 01:19:37,161 Dopinder, this is not the way to seize the Gita! 1156 01:19:37,206 --> 01:19:38,336 I'm proud of you. 1157 01:19:38,374 --> 01:19:40,664 Drop Bandhu, safe and slow. 1158 01:19:40,710 --> 01:19:41,590 Kill him. 1159 01:19:41,627 --> 01:19:43,757 Then, win Gita back... 1160 01:19:43,796 --> 01:19:46,636 the old way: with your charisma. 1161 01:19:46,674 --> 01:19:48,004 Kidnapping Gita. 1162 01:19:49,552 --> 01:19:50,712 He will die. 1163 01:19:56,183 --> 01:19:57,803 I'm guessing you want a loud high five? 1164 01:19:57,852 --> 01:19:59,142 For you? Two-handed high five. 1165 01:20:00,646 --> 01:20:03,436 OK, let's act and make a change. 1166 01:20:03,482 --> 01:20:05,402 You know what to do. 1167 01:20:06,360 --> 01:20:08,950 Teach them a lesson, Deadpool! 1168 01:20:10,197 --> 01:20:12,157 Time for action. 1169 01:20:13,701 --> 01:20:15,331 It's rare for a guy to ruin your face... 1170 01:20:15,369 --> 01:20:18,329 destroying your sanity, kidnap your child's future mother... 1171 01:20:18,372 --> 01:20:22,542 and responsible for four of your five worst moments. 1172 01:20:22,585 --> 01:20:26,755 Let's just say it's starting to show like Christmas Day. 1173 01:20:39,685 --> 01:20:41,065 Hey. 1174 01:20:41,103 --> 01:20:42,353 Where's your gun bag? 1175 01:20:45,274 --> 01:20:46,354 Mr. Pools telephone 1176 01:21:01,249 --> 01:21:02,629 Bandhu? 1177 01:21:04,168 --> 01:21:06,258 Leave a message and be happy. 1178 01:21:06,295 --> 01:21:07,715 Damned! 1179 01:21:07,755 --> 01:21:09,425 I'll do it the old fashioned way... 1180 01:21:09,465 --> 01:21:12,925 with two swords and maximum effort. 1181 01:21:13,886 --> 01:21:14,926 Play the music. 1182 01:21:31,070 --> 01:21:33,530 Wade Wilson! 1183 01:21:34,115 --> 01:21:35,695 What's my name? 1184 01:21:36,325 --> 01:21:37,955 I'll spell it out for you. 1185 01:21:40,204 --> 01:21:41,324 Finish him. 1186 01:21:41,372 --> 01:21:42,532 Super hero landing. 1187 01:21:42,582 --> 01:21:44,622 He's going to make a landing superhero. Wait. 1188 01:21:49,213 --> 01:21:50,373 Superhero landing! 1189 01:21:50,923 --> 01:21:52,003 It hurts the knee. 1190 01:21:52,341 --> 01:21:53,751 Totally impractical. Everyone does it. 1191 01:21:54,302 --> 01:21:57,552 You're beautiful, but I'm saving energy for Francis. 1192 01:21:57,597 --> 01:21:58,807 That's why I invited him. 1193 01:21:58,848 --> 01:22:02,058 I don't like hitting women, so please... 1194 01:22:09,275 --> 01:22:12,365 I mean, that's why I invited him? 1195 01:22:13,905 --> 01:22:16,115 Oh, no, finish your Twitter. That's not... 1196 01:22:16,157 --> 01:22:17,697 Wait a minute. Yes. 1197 01:22:17,742 --> 01:22:19,072 Good. Put a hashtag. 1198 01:22:20,494 --> 01:22:22,324 Beat him up. 1199 01:22:29,003 --> 01:22:32,713 I feel sorry for that guy forcing him to make love after the dance party. 1200 01:22:33,424 --> 01:22:35,004 In that case, okay. Shoot! 1201 01:22:46,729 --> 01:22:48,359 Finish that bastard! 1202 01:22:48,397 --> 01:22:49,487 Watch your language. 1203 01:22:49,523 --> 01:22:50,643 Shut up! 1204 01:23:16,676 --> 01:23:18,346 Don't look, kid. 1205 01:23:19,095 --> 01:23:20,425 Don't look! 1206 01:23:27,770 --> 01:23:29,110 Wait! 1207 01:23:29,146 --> 01:23:30,316 Wait! 1208 01:23:30,356 --> 01:23:31,356 Stop shooting! 1209 01:23:31,399 --> 01:23:32,739 Stop shooting! 1210 01:23:32,775 --> 01:23:34,235 Guys! Hey! 1211 01:23:35,611 --> 01:23:39,321 You guys just work for that bastard. 1212 01:23:39,365 --> 01:23:43,405 So, I'll give you a chance to drop the weapon... 1213 01:23:43,452 --> 01:23:46,452 and I'll be gentle... 1214 01:23:46,497 --> 01:23:49,957 maybe almost the same by loving. 1215 01:23:52,003 --> 01:23:53,293 Okay. 1216 01:23:53,337 --> 01:23:54,257 Command! 1217 01:25:06,494 --> 01:25:07,364 Tea bag! 1218 01:25:11,999 --> 01:25:12,919 Bob? 1219 01:25:14,043 --> 01:25:15,003 Wade? 1220 01:25:15,044 --> 01:25:16,334 I haven't seen you since... 1221 01:25:16,379 --> 01:25:18,679 -Jacksonville. Fridays. -Since TGI Fridays. 1222 01:25:19,423 --> 01:25:21,213 What the hell?! 1223 01:25:21,717 --> 01:25:23,217 Come here. 1224 01:25:25,388 --> 01:25:27,388 How are your children? Good? 1225 01:25:27,890 --> 01:25:29,850 Gail still makes tuna casserole? 1226 01:25:29,892 --> 01:25:32,682 Very delicious. But bad for the waistline. 1227 01:25:39,402 --> 01:25:42,692 Your chest... On the left. You're a beautiful woman. 1228 01:25:42,738 --> 01:25:43,788 You're so sweet. 1229 01:25:45,241 --> 01:25:46,201 Thank You. 1230 01:25:58,421 --> 01:26:01,971 He also wrote you a message? Very romantic. 1231 01:26:02,425 --> 01:26:03,755 Relax, darling. I'm coming. 1232 01:26:05,428 --> 01:26:06,138 Shoot! 1233 01:26:13,769 --> 01:26:15,269 Hey! 1234 01:26:15,605 --> 01:26:16,475 Get on! 1235 01:26:53,601 --> 01:26:55,151 Fuck... 1236 01:27:06,489 --> 01:27:08,999 He should have used it brown trousers. 1237 01:27:11,744 --> 01:27:12,914 You're right, beautiful. 1238 01:27:13,829 --> 01:27:15,499 Red suits me. 1239 01:27:16,415 --> 01:27:17,375 Wade? 1240 01:27:17,416 --> 01:27:18,336 Calm down, darling... 1241 01:27:18,793 --> 01:27:20,793 I'll get you out from that cursed box. 1242 01:27:21,254 --> 01:27:23,464 This is the best way to back into your mind. 1243 01:27:23,506 --> 01:27:25,466 Oh, you never left. 1244 01:27:25,508 --> 01:27:27,638 But you're gone, you bastard! 1245 01:27:27,677 --> 01:27:29,137 Take a breath, baby. 1246 01:27:30,680 --> 01:27:31,810 Oh, wait. 1247 01:27:32,848 --> 01:27:34,438 Wrong choice of words. 1248 01:27:36,686 --> 01:27:39,476 I hope they close all your nerves from pain. 1249 01:27:39,522 --> 01:27:40,682 Because I will look for it! 1250 01:27:42,024 --> 01:27:44,154 I heard your body parts it can grow back, Wade. 1251 01:27:44,652 --> 01:27:45,652 After I finished... 1252 01:27:45,695 --> 01:27:47,615 parts of your body will no longer grow. 1253 01:27:47,655 --> 01:27:48,695 That's good. 1254 01:27:49,699 --> 01:27:51,499 Yes, that's good. 1255 01:27:51,534 --> 01:27:52,534 Let's dance. 1256 01:27:53,953 --> 01:27:55,163 I mean dancing is... 1257 01:27:55,204 --> 01:27:56,374 let's kill each other. 1258 01:28:51,010 --> 01:28:53,270 Good. Empty hands. 1259 01:28:53,554 --> 01:28:55,384 Sounds like Your last Saturday night. 1260 01:30:17,263 --> 01:30:19,343 Fuck! 1261 01:31:15,696 --> 01:31:16,696 Hang in there, baby! 1262 01:31:17,198 --> 01:31:19,158 -Wade! -I caught you! 1263 01:31:22,578 --> 01:31:24,538 I have a plan. You won't like it. 1264 01:31:35,174 --> 01:31:36,294 Unlucky! 1265 01:31:42,265 --> 01:31:44,765 Calm. The situation is under control. 1266 01:32:00,783 --> 01:32:01,863 Unlucky! 1267 01:32:02,785 --> 01:32:05,665 Maximum effort! 1268 01:32:47,997 --> 01:32:48,997 Thank You. 1269 01:32:53,961 --> 01:32:55,621 Just slowly. 1270 01:33:06,015 --> 01:33:08,685 Good grief! That was cool... 1271 01:33:39,715 --> 01:33:41,255 No words! 1272 01:33:42,301 --> 01:33:45,921 You will improve this handsome face. 1273 01:33:46,722 --> 01:33:47,722 What? 1274 01:33:50,226 --> 01:33:52,936 Damn you stupid. 1275 01:33:53,479 --> 01:33:58,069 You think there's a cure for your disability? 1276 01:33:59,944 --> 01:34:00,904 What? 1277 01:34:01,320 --> 01:34:02,410 You heard me. 1278 01:34:04,240 --> 01:34:05,370 No. 1279 01:34:05,408 --> 01:34:06,658 No! 1280 01:34:13,833 --> 01:34:16,833 So, you mean... 1281 01:34:17,628 --> 01:34:21,928 after all this, can't you cure me? 1282 01:34:22,466 --> 01:34:24,596 Sounds stupider when you say it. 1283 01:34:24,635 --> 01:34:29,765 Such was the stupidity that confessed him have no reason to let me live? 1284 01:34:33,561 --> 01:34:35,401 Any last words? 1285 01:34:37,273 --> 01:34:38,353 What's my name? 1286 01:34:39,483 --> 01:34:40,773 Who cares? 1287 01:34:40,818 --> 01:34:41,608 Wade! 1288 01:34:43,237 --> 01:34:45,617 Four or five moments. 1289 01:34:46,198 --> 01:34:47,198 What? 1290 01:34:47,241 --> 01:34:49,611 Four or five moments, that's all it takes. 1291 01:34:50,328 --> 01:34:51,208 For? 1292 01:34:52,371 --> 01:34:53,701 Become a hero. 1293 01:34:55,708 --> 01:34:58,458 Everyone thinks this is a full time job. 1294 01:34:58,502 --> 01:35:02,082 Wake up a hero, brush your teeth as a hero, work to be a hero. 1295 01:35:02,882 --> 01:35:04,672 Not true. 1296 01:35:04,717 --> 01:35:09,887 In life, there are only four or five meaningful moments. 1297 01:35:10,264 --> 01:35:12,764 The moment when you are given a choice. 1298 01:35:12,808 --> 01:35:16,978 To sacrifice, to conquer weakness, saving friends... 1299 01:35:17,772 --> 01:35:20,392 forgive the enemy. 1300 01:35:20,816 --> 01:35:22,196 In these moments... 1301 01:35:22,985 --> 01:35:25,865 the others are not important. 1302 01:35:26,572 --> 01:35:29,112 How the world judges us. 1303 01:35:29,492 --> 01:35:30,492 How do we judge ourselves... 1304 01:35:34,747 --> 01:35:35,747 Why? 1305 01:35:36,999 --> 01:35:39,049 You're rambling. 1306 01:35:39,085 --> 01:35:42,125 Maybe my face is like pepperoni bread... 1307 01:35:42,171 --> 01:35:44,961 but at least it's stupid I've gotten rid of this. 1308 01:35:45,216 --> 01:35:47,846 If you wear tight clothes superhero... 1309 01:35:48,302 --> 01:35:49,762 means to forgive psychopathic criminals... 1310 01:35:49,804 --> 01:35:51,974 then I'm not worthy wear it. 1311 01:35:52,014 --> 01:35:54,474 Not everyone is as good as you. 1312 01:35:54,517 --> 01:35:55,687 But promise me... 1313 01:35:55,726 --> 01:35:59,476 Yes, I'll pay attention the next four moments. 1314 01:35:59,522 --> 01:36:01,142 Good grief. 1315 01:36:01,190 --> 01:36:07,160 Excuse me, I'm just a kid who will face the girl... 1316 01:36:07,196 --> 01:36:08,526 and told him... 1317 01:36:08,573 --> 01:36:10,653 What should I say to him? 1318 01:36:10,700 --> 01:36:13,960 You'd better think quickly. 1319 01:36:15,413 --> 01:36:16,703 I can't say... 1320 01:36:16,747 --> 01:36:17,837 I deserve that. That is, too. 1321 01:36:18,583 --> 01:36:20,333 No, no, not there. 1322 01:36:20,376 --> 01:36:22,166 Start talking! 1323 01:36:24,213 --> 01:36:25,793 Forgive me. 1324 01:36:26,048 --> 01:36:27,508 I'm really sorry. 1325 01:36:28,342 --> 01:36:30,882 For everything, sorry I left you... 1326 01:36:32,388 --> 01:36:34,478 sorry I'm not being manly early... 1327 01:36:34,515 --> 01:36:36,595 all this is heavy... 1328 01:36:36,642 --> 01:36:37,302 Heavy? 1329 01:36:45,109 --> 01:36:46,949 I live in a drug house. 1330 01:36:48,195 --> 01:36:49,525 With a family of 12 people. 1331 01:36:51,282 --> 01:36:52,822 Every night we huddle together to be warm. 1332 01:36:52,867 --> 01:36:55,917 Everyone is fighting over Noelle, he is the fattest. 1333 01:36:55,953 --> 01:37:01,793 We share all things, floors, dental floss, even protective rubber. 1334 01:37:09,926 --> 01:37:12,096 So, you stay at home. 1335 01:37:20,937 --> 01:37:23,897 I should have looked for you earlier. 1336 01:37:25,358 --> 01:37:29,318 But, the man behind this mask different from what you remember. 1337 01:37:33,699 --> 01:37:34,909 You mean this mask? 1338 01:37:55,054 --> 01:37:56,634 And this mask. 1339 01:37:58,099 --> 01:37:59,899 Who knows, the mask might come off. 1340 01:38:02,853 --> 01:38:05,143 Okay. Anyway... 1341 01:38:05,189 --> 01:38:06,899 Like a Band-Aid, just pull it off... 1342 01:38:06,941 --> 01:38:09,161 Oh, times five thousand. 1343 01:38:09,193 --> 01:38:10,193 Wait... 1344 01:38:12,113 --> 01:38:13,363 Are you sure? 1345 01:38:15,241 --> 01:38:16,251 I'm certain. 1346 01:38:26,752 --> 01:38:27,662 Wow. 1347 01:38:29,005 --> 01:38:30,175 Yes. 1348 01:38:37,054 --> 01:38:38,384 Hey. 1349 01:38:40,683 --> 01:38:42,393 After an adjustment period short one... 1350 01:38:42,935 --> 01:38:44,855 and drink a lot of alcohol... 1351 01:38:46,272 --> 01:38:48,232 it's a face... 1352 01:38:52,695 --> 01:38:54,365 which I will sit in. 1353 01:39:01,787 --> 01:39:05,497 The body beneath this costume also different. 1354 01:39:05,541 --> 01:39:06,371 No. 1355 01:39:06,876 --> 01:39:08,626 Super genitals. 1356 01:39:08,878 --> 01:39:10,758 Come on, Wade. Watch your language. 1357 01:39:11,047 --> 01:39:12,387 There are teenagers here. 1358 01:39:13,466 --> 01:39:15,346 Why are you guys still here? 1359 01:39:15,384 --> 01:39:18,094 Go. Make yourself useful! 1360 01:39:18,137 --> 01:39:20,937 You, go be a big brother for someone. 1361 01:39:20,973 --> 01:39:22,723 Tell the Beast to stop pooping in my yard. 1362 01:39:22,767 --> 01:39:24,687 And you, chicken noodle... 1363 01:39:24,727 --> 01:39:26,567 You're second to none 1364 01:39:26,604 --> 01:39:28,684 Sinéad O'Connor, 1990. Sorry. 1365 01:39:28,731 --> 01:39:31,441 No problem. You're cool. 1366 01:39:33,402 --> 01:39:35,062 What the hell? 1367 01:39:35,112 --> 01:39:38,152 It's not cruel. I'm proud of you! 1368 01:39:38,574 --> 01:39:41,744 We'll make you an X-Man, Wade. 1369 01:39:41,786 --> 01:39:44,916 For a moment, it felt like we were three little robot lions... 1370 01:39:44,956 --> 01:39:47,206 unite to form one super robot. 1371 01:39:48,084 --> 01:39:49,254 That's stupid. 1372 01:39:49,293 --> 01:39:50,373 Yes. 1373 01:39:53,798 --> 01:39:58,218 And now, the moments what I've been waiting for. 1374 01:40:01,931 --> 01:40:03,101 Come here. 1375 01:40:12,942 --> 01:40:15,942 Wham! Like I promised. 1376 01:40:28,958 --> 01:40:30,128 Look? 1377 01:40:30,167 --> 01:40:33,757 No need to be a superhero to get women. 1378 01:40:33,796 --> 01:40:36,586 The right woman will make you a hero. 1379 01:40:37,174 --> 01:40:40,714 Now, let's take it the picture from a distance is complete. 1380 01:40:40,761 --> 01:40:42,301 Yes, good. 1381 01:40:42,346 --> 01:40:44,766 That's the only one which was withdrawn tonight. 1382 01:40:44,807 --> 01:40:48,147 Who doesn't like it happy ending? 1383 01:40:48,185 --> 01:40:51,815 Bye, this is your neighbor the friendly one sings... 1384 01:40:52,106 --> 01:40:57,986 I won't dance anymore like I'm dancing with you 1385 01:41:17,715 --> 01:41:18,385 Damn 1386 01:41:49,121 --> 01:41:51,331 He's handsome. 1387 01:41:53,167 --> 01:41:55,297 He's hot. 1388 01:41:57,046 --> 01:41:58,506 He's the most handsome! 1389 01:47:07,899 --> 01:47:09,529 Are you still here? 1390 01:47:12,111 --> 01:47:15,151 It's finished. Go home. 1391 01:47:16,866 --> 01:47:21,206 You're waiting for the Deadpool 2 trailer. We don't have the money for that. 1392 01:47:22,246 --> 01:47:25,246 You waiting for Sam Jackson to show up? 1393 01:47:25,291 --> 01:47:27,961 Wear an eye patch and a sexy leather cape? 1394 01:47:28,002 --> 01:47:29,622 Go. 1395 01:47:35,927 --> 01:47:38,427 But I can tell you one thing, and this is a secret. 1396 01:47:38,471 --> 01:47:41,731 For continuation, we will present Cable. 1397 01:47:41,766 --> 01:47:44,186 Cool character. Robot hand, time traveler. 1398 01:47:44,227 --> 01:47:46,517 We don't know the cast yet, but it can be anyone. 1399 01:47:46,562 --> 01:47:49,852 Need a big guy with flat hair. It could be Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren, 1400 01:47:49,899 --> 01:47:52,409 Keira Knightley... she could be anything. Who knows? 1401 01:47:52,443 --> 01:47:53,863 By the way, this is a big secret. 1402 01:47:53,903 --> 01:47:58,403 And don't leave trash behind, that's rude. 1403 01:47:59,325 --> 01:48:00,405 Go home. 1404 01:48:04,247 --> 01:48:43,747 Translated by: Nazaret Setiabudi