1 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,627 - Evan. - Hey. 2 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,382 You were out for a while. Are you hungry 3 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,927 or thirsty or anything? 4 00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,387 I love you. 5 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,722 I love you, too, Mom. 6 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,896 How was work? 7 00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,858 - It was all right. - Oh. 8 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:43,736 Are you happy? 9 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,406 Yes. 10 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,495 Do you want to hear a joke? 11 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,913 Sure. 12 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:57,333 This shopkeeper 13 00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:01,254 receives flowers at the opening of his new store... 14 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:06,008 and the card says, "Rest in peace." 15 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,677 Are you sure you're not thirsty, Ma? 16 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:12,306 So he calls up the florist angry and she says, 17 00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:16,853 "Sir, at least you weren't the one 18 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,439 who got flowers at your wife's funeral 19 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:24,777 that said, "Congratulations on the new location." 20 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,202 You need more morphine? 21 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,795 Ma. 22 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,302 Do you want me to call a priest? 23 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:07,111 I want you to know I... 24 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,655 think you two were amazing. 25 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,620 And I'm grateful for everything you... 26 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,695 Why don't you guys bury these in your stomachs, huh? 27 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,573 That sucked, I'm sorry. Look, I'm gonna... 28 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,033 I'm gonna have Shitty Carl try to cover your shift. 29 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,409 I'm gonna call Carl. 30 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:58,253 - I'm sorry about your mom. - Thanks, Mike. 31 00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:05,336 You know, Ev, that was a real small funeral. 32 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,964 I mean, you know, it was intimate. 33 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,800 That's what I meant, it was good. It was a good funeral. 34 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,344 Yeah, they really never had any friends or family 35 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,429 or anything, so... 36 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,764 Nobody else? 37 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,394 They were only children. 38 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,813 I mean, their parents died young. It was just the three of us. 39 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,315 You know, I'm really sorry about the casket thing, too. 40 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,402 I mean, I think I saw I had some... some fish oil on my hands 41 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,613 - and it... the brass was slick. - Funerals are for the living, Tom. 42 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,933 Why the fuck does this fucking goddamn machine not work?! 43 00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:37,868 - Fuck! - The cigarette machine is for decoration. 44 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,829 - There's no cigarettes there. - Give me some of that drink! 45 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,539 Do you want a shot? Let's have a shot. 46 00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,625 - I got to work later. - No, shots. Mike, shots, please. 47 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,377 Whiskey, whiskey. 48 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,545 I gotta take a piss. 49 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,755 ...some fruity faggot juice just like you, you fuckin'... 50 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,799 Watch where the fuck you're going, man. 51 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,259 - I'm sorry. - Bite me, bitch. 52 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,679 Yeah, you're fucked up, huh? You tryin' to roll on my bitch?! 53 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,139 - No. - I fuckin' saw you, man. 54 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,641 - I wasn't. - Hey, hey, hey, hey! 55 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,893 Guy had a fuckin' rough day, all right? 56 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,979 Why don't you just shut your fuckin' cock holster, 57 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:08,315 have a drink with me? Calm down, Jesus Christ. 58 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,989 Got a cigarette? 59 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:19,076 No, I roll my own. Sorry. 60 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,787 Hey, I got a fuckin' cigarette. You want a cigarette? Here. 61 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,130 - Hey, hey, what the fuck?! - Fuck! 62 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,632 Hey! Hey! 63 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,969 Babe, get up! Get up! Kick his fuckin' ass! 64 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,018 - Get him off him! - Fuck! 65 00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:46,020 - Evan, Evan, Evan! - Fuck, that's enough, man. 66 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,773 - All right. I'm all right! - Babe, babe, babe. 67 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,861 Fuckin'... Evan, Jesus Christ, brother. 68 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:57,198 I mean, you knocked that stupid fuckin' gold thing right out of his face. 69 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,869 Are you guys fuckin' serious? 70 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:07,583 Ev, I just picked up, like, fuckin' four teeth off the goddamn ground, man. 71 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,878 Holy shit. 72 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,839 I mean, holy fucking shit. 73 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:17,927 Here, put this on your shit. 74 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,304 The cops were here, guys. 75 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,514 Is he pressing charges? 76 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,891 The psychopath? I don't know! 77 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,060 Maybe! You almost fuckin' murdered the guy! 78 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,896 Will you... you're getting blood all over your ice. 79 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,856 Will you put the gauze on your goddamn knuckles 80 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,149 and then fuckin' put ice on it? 81 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,485 Tommy, seriously, cock holster mouth? 82 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,028 - Hey, what... - Why would you say that? 83 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:38,614 - 'Cause he had a fuckin' cockmouth. - For fuck's sake! 84 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:45,287 Look, man, you nee... you need to change up your environment. 85 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,958 You have a lot of shit going on, your whole family's dead, 86 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,961 and I think the best thing for you would be to just shift gears 87 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,796 and do something completely different with yourself. 88 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,297 Are you telling me that I'm fired, Mike? 89 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,799 He's not saying that. Mike, you wouldn't... 90 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,634 I'm not saying you're fired. I'm not saying you're fired. 91 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,219 No, Mike, you're not saying that. 92 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,762 But the boss was here 93 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,807 and he said you can't work here anymore, man. I'm sorry. 94 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,767 I really don't want to be unemployed right now, Mike. 95 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,019 Look, I can bring you back. I swear to God I can bring you back. 96 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,521 I brought Shitty Carl back. 97 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,356 He stabbed a goddamn crippled guy in the leg with a fork. 98 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:15,860 Right, Shitty Carl! He's a fuckin' shit. He's a piece of shit! 99 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,362 - I just need some time. - Ah, fuck! 100 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,905 I just need some fuckin' time, man. 101 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,324 You know how it is, man. I mean, the fucking Yelp reviews. 102 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,744 - We're getting fucked here. I can't... - What are you gonna do, brother? 103 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,246 - Where did you get this? - Evan, wait... 104 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,331 All right, I don't need you to fuckin' follow me home, Tom. 105 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,292 Just hold up, man. 106 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,835 Ev! 107 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,549 Fuck. 108 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,302 Dude, do you need any help down at the boats? 109 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,262 Can I have one of those? 110 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,930 Yeah. 111 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:48,392 I'll ask around. 112 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,937 You should talk to Dale about construction gigs. 113 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,439 Dale? 114 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,567 He's been unemployed since June, man. 115 00:07:57,262 --> 00:07:58,777 Give me that lighter. 116 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,240 You want to gut fish for tourists? 117 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,785 I mean, I smelled like a tuna fish's asshole for four years, 118 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,530 but it's good work. 119 00:08:08,630 --> 00:08:09,663 Smell that. 120 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,332 - I don't... I don't know. - Just smell it. 121 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,459 - I don't know. - It's like it's on me forever. 122 00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:16,170 I got some inheritance. I can just use that. 123 00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:19,632 Yo, where my fuckin' cigarette at, bitch? 124 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,550 It's gonna get real fuckin' boring 125 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,636 - following me around all night. - I know where you live now, bitch. 126 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,930 Why don't you just go back to fuckin' East County you fuckin' tweakers? 127 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,307 - Fuck you, you motherfuckers. - Fuck you! 128 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,313 Thanks for staying, man. 129 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,775 Yeah, they'll file a police report, they'll sue me, 130 00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,486 then they'll come back here with baseball bats. 131 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,529 You want me to stay? Got an extra bed? 132 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,158 My mom's. 133 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,204 Fuck. I mean, Ev, I love you, brother, 134 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:53,749 but I'm not drunk enough to sleep in your mom's deathbed. 135 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,125 Yeah. 136 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,003 Why don't you just lock the doors? I'll call you tomorrow. 137 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,463 - Are you gonna be all right? - Mm-hmm. 138 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,131 - You gonna be all right? - Yup. 139 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:04,259 Yeah, you gonna be all right. I'll see you tomorrow. 140 00:09:05,232 --> 00:09:07,680 Fuck! These fuckin' things. 141 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,015 - Am I supposed to fuckin' jump it? - Are you fuckin' retarded? 142 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,684 There's a hinge, man. 143 00:09:12,683 --> 00:09:14,485 Fuck you, man. 144 00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:18,440 Hey, uh... why don't you... 145 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,026 why don't you call up somebody for a sympathy fuck? 146 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,237 No, I'm good, dude. 147 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:25,030 All right. 148 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,491 I'm telling you, Evan, your mom just died. 149 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,702 You're only gonna get to use that one once. 150 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,704 I love you, brother! 151 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,914 - Love you, dude. - I love you. 152 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,436 Mm, condom? 153 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:58,897 Okay. 154 00:10:12,396 --> 00:10:14,496 Handsome picture. 155 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,958 I look like a hobo with smallpox. 156 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,085 You know I'm only here because I feel sorry for you, 157 00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,963 but this is a very nice picture, Evan Russell. 158 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,841 Thank you. 159 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,427 - You're sitting on the condom. - Mm, why do you have this? 160 00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,472 Are you fucking whores in TJ? 161 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:38,520 What? How did you even get to that? 162 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,273 My dad, he made me get one 'cause we were gonna go to Italy 163 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,360 after I got back from college, but you know what happened. 164 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,279 How do you feel about me? 165 00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:57,539 I just got sober all of a sudden. I can't do this, I'm sorry. 166 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,797 Get out of town, Evan. 167 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,465 Right now? 168 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,468 Yeah. My brother's a fuckup, too, and he took a break 169 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,970 and he went to India, and he totally re-centered. 170 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,973 I just worked my way up to sous chef, though. 171 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,643 You didn't go to Berkeley to chop vegetables. 172 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:20,521 You sound like an elitist asshole. 173 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,816 Mm, I'm just not sober enough for this conversation. 174 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,642 Then let's have sex. 175 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,719 Mr. Russell? 176 00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,311 Dispatch, I've got no one at the house. 177 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,859 Fuck. 178 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,951 Hi, can I get a flight somewhere? 179 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,744 Anywhere. 180 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,030 I'm sorry, I'm really hungover. 181 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,667 Where would you go? I don't know, like, uh... 182 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,420 Canada or Europe or something? 183 00:12:27,444 --> 00:12:29,339 White people love Italy? 184 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,049 Gotcha. 185 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,719 Book me on the next flight. Or, when is the next flight? 186 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,929 Actually, hold on a second. Should I go to Italy? 187 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,848 What? 188 00:12:43,038 --> 00:12:45,063 What, a wizard? 189 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,256 You're a wizard, Harry. 190 00:12:47,356 --> 00:12:49,506 You're a wizard. 191 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,664 So I says to Mabel, I says, you can't fucking put 192 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,165 the guy on the fence like that 193 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:48,126 'cause it's fucking getting in the way of my apple trees. 194 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,587 - Excuse me. - Sorry, mate. Yes, bruv, what? 195 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,965 Do you guys know where I can find an Italian phrase book? 196 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,592 Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a bundle of them down there, actually, pal. 197 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,094 - Thanks. - Yeah. 198 00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,845 - Where are you from? - California. 199 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,472 Oh, California. What, Hollywood! 200 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,142 - Join us for a drink, pal. - Yeah, come on, man. 201 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,310 Come on. Sit down. Have a drink with us. 202 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,604 Go off and get him a drink, go on. 203 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:10,065 I'm Tom. That's me pal, Sam. 204 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,193 Sam's Welsh and he fucks sheep, but don't worry, he's all right. 205 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,653 You know, he won't come near your bum. 206 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,154 - I'm not Welsh. - Listen, mate, 207 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,990 - you are gonna fucking love it here. - Thanks. 208 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,493 All you do is eat, fucking drink, smoke weed. 209 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:24,204 I lay off the scag personally, don't I? But it's your holiday, mate. 210 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:27,125 You do what you fucking like. 211 00:14:27,225 --> 00:14:29,459 Let's see if the Yank can fucking keep up, eh? 212 00:14:29,977 --> 00:14:31,533 Boo! 213 00:14:31,633 --> 00:14:32,671 Look at that. 214 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,008 Well done, bruv. 215 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:40,262 Oh, my God, I wish I could fucking talk Italian, you know? 216 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,848 Bunch of sixes, bruv. 217 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:46,018 - Sixes? - Ciao. Ciao. 218 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:49,481 Oh, he's a goddamn American hero. 219 00:14:49,581 --> 00:14:51,523 Oi, oi. 220 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,191 You like me? No? 221 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,361 No. Absolutely. 222 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,948 Go on. Go on. Oh, my God. 223 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,284 No, what are you doing, mate? No, fucking hell, mate. 224 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,619 No, you got to be more aggressive 225 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,580 if you want to shag an Italian bird like that, mate. 226 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:09,499 What are you talking about? What are you telling him for? 227 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,752 At least he went up there, but you didn't do nothing. 228 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,629 You just don't give a little fucking... 229 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,548 - What? - Fucking hell. 230 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,258 Thank you for the beer, man. 231 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,677 Ah, you're welcome. Oh... 232 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,638 Where are you at? We're gonna hire a car tomorrow, 233 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,348 go down the coast. 234 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,558 Do you want to chip in with some petrol? 235 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,230 Go on and get... get a hold of that. Go on. 236 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,066 - Come on, Evan! - Get it fuckin' in ya! 237 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,318 I said, "Fuck you, you cunt." Do you remember that? 238 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,279 I was like, "Fuck you, you cunt." Proper cunt. 239 00:15:40,379 --> 00:15:41,865 I'm like, "Fuck you, you mug." 240 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:43,533 Next thing you know, I got punched in the face, mate. 241 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,662 Woke up three days later in hospital the cunt had fuckin' done me. 242 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,413 He didn't help. He didn't help. 243 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,457 He didn't help. 244 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,334 You ever seen "8 Mile"? You seen that movie "8 Mile"? 245 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,961 - Yeah. - Right? It's like that. 246 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,254 So, geezers just rapping. 247 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,800 And then, I swear to God, one geezer goes... goes up on the mic, right? 248 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,968 And he goes, "Who can fucking battle me, blud?" 249 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,096 All this fucking bollocks. "Who gonna battle me?" 250 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,181 I said, "Do you know what, fuck this cunt. I'll fuckin' have a go." 251 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,226 Never rapped in me life, bruv. Never fucking rapped in my life. 252 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:12,396 Went up there, mate. Proper smashed him, mate, 253 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,815 with a bottle in the face. 254 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,738 Birds, eh? 255 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,448 Fuckin' birds. 256 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:10,120 I was, uh... I was seeing this girl once. 257 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,497 She's the love of my fucking life, pal, you know? 258 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:16,334 Known her since school, first kiss, all that fucking shit. Yeah. 259 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,670 Talked about having kids together, the whole lot. 260 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,593 And one day, 261 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:27,846 she's in this pub 262 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:31,725 and she meets this bloke from Ibiza, DJ, something. 263 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,435 Got a flat out there. 264 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,980 She only fucking leaves me 265 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,065 and goes and lives with this cunt in Ibiza. 266 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:42,152 Broke my fucking heart, mate. 267 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,864 Anyway, two years later, I'm in me local supermarket 268 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,492 and I fucking see her there. 269 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,660 She was proper fat. 270 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:54,039 Sunburnt, skin like leather... 271 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:58,794 teeth like fucking doggins, it was disgusting. I loved it. 272 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,133 You're lucky I'm here, pal. 273 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,054 'Cause most men don't share their emotions like I do. 274 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,689 - Hey, mate, you got a Wi-Fi code? - No, I ain't got a Wi-Fi code. 275 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,399 You do have the Wi-Fi code, mate. Can I just... 276 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,734 I gave it to you last night, man. 277 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,986 What did you do with that little piece of paper? 278 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,738 You fucking rolled, didn't you? 279 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,406 You used it as a roach. 280 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,284 Oh, for fuck's sake! 281 00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:57,162 Oh, bro, I fucking blazed the fucking Wi-Fi code, mate. 282 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,962 ...because I hate all nations equally. And I'll tell you something else, 283 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,965 - the problem with Yanks, right? - Yeah, everyone hates Americans. 284 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,425 I get it. I'm an evil imperialist. 285 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,260 You don't play rugby, that's the problem. 286 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,680 Well, yeah, there's that, but it's also 'cause you're fucking loud. 287 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:18,308 - You're loud. I played soccer. - Whole nation is loud. 288 00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:22,112 I played soccer in elementary school and I drink... I drink well. 289 00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:23,563 No, you can't. 290 00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:26,691 You have... I've barely seen you drink five of those. 291 00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,444 - That's not enough for you? - No, I'm afraid not. 292 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,030 Fucking embarrassing is what you are, mate. 293 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,157 - All right. - Oh, look at this. 294 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:37,452 - All right, I'll get the next round. - Yeah, go on, mate. Nice one. 295 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,787 Thanks, Evan. 296 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:49,047 We saw each other earlier and if I stared any longer 297 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:53,259 without saying hi, I'd be the creepy dude gawking. 298 00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:58,974 Oh, shit. English? 299 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,309 I need a drink. 300 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,061 Well, come sit with me and my friends. 301 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,437 Leave with me. 302 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,775 Yeah. 303 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:14,239 I have to get this round first and... 304 00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:18,576 I'd rather go home with you now, but if you like boys more... 305 00:21:22,062 --> 00:21:23,081 Really? 306 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,125 Come on. 307 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:28,378 - What are you doing? - Trying to have fun. 308 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:31,089 Are you a prostitute? 309 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,842 You want me to be? 310 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,720 Are you gonna rob me? 311 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,304 No, you look poor. 312 00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:41,558 Well, I'm not gonna carry drugs up my ass for you or your boss. 313 00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:45,437 - Go out with me tomorrow night. - No. 314 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:48,273 - 'Cause you're a hooker. - Because I don't date. 315 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,736 Well, this is a fucked-up act you have, 316 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:56,489 but let's say you go home with... 317 00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:58,742 I'd still like to grab coffee or something sometime 318 00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:02,328 'cause I think you're the most attractive person I've ever seen. 319 00:22:02,446 --> 00:22:04,998 But that doesn't outweigh that you might be a mental patient 320 00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,917 and I gotta make sure you're the kind of crazy I can deal with. 321 00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:12,797 You made this so much more complicated than it needs to be. 322 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,674 Bottle of wine tomorrow night. 323 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:17,302 No... no! 324 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:18,845 Maybe? 325 00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,806 Right. 326 00:22:25,034 --> 00:22:26,895 Oh, no. 327 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,647 Oh, no. You fumbled. 328 00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,149 But if you're looking for someone to play 329 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,109 the fucking long game with come over here, bruv. 330 00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:36,416 Sam will help you out. Sam will let you fuck him. 331 00:22:36,516 --> 00:22:37,572 I hate these guys. 332 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,919 - Oi! - Hey! 333 00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:56,091 You went pint for pint last night, son. 334 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,926 - I'm fucking proud of you. - Well done, son, well done. 335 00:22:58,044 --> 00:22:59,719 - I did? - Nope. 336 00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:01,679 Oi, we're leaving, mate. 337 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,723 - Okay. - Yeah, it's too expensive. 338 00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,850 We're going to Amsterdam. 339 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,477 - All right. - You want to come? 340 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,438 No. 341 00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:13,274 All right. Good times, mate. Good times. Good times. 342 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,110 Yeah, take care of yourself, son. 343 00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:18,530 Okay. 344 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,249 Scusa. 345 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,255 Scusa? 346 00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:19,716 Um, buongiorno. 347 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:23,887 Buongiorno. 348 00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:28,224 Um, English? 349 00:24:28,342 --> 00:24:29,475 A little. 350 00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:31,936 Is this room still available? 351 00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:37,483 - Have you ever work on farm? - No. 352 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,613 - Okay. - Okay? 353 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:46,659 Come on. 354 00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,294 You see? 355 00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:59,505 Hot and cold. 356 00:24:59,623 --> 00:25:01,132 Got it, thanks. 357 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:02,849 If not hot... 358 00:25:12,094 --> 00:25:16,147 When cold, we cover up the trees 359 00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:20,693 and once a week we gather for the olive press. 360 00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,528 The rest, I tell you. 361 00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,739 Easy, huh? 362 00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:30,453 Is that your wife? 363 00:25:32,281 --> 00:25:33,331 Yes. 364 00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:35,583 Is she here? 365 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:38,127 Car accident. 366 00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:43,216 I'm very sorry to hear that. 367 00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:57,563 women, Jews of the world. 368 00:25:57,681 --> 00:26:00,108 - Jews? - Jews. 369 00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,405 Jews. 370 00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:06,864 Jewels. 371 00:26:07,682 --> 00:26:08,883 Jewels. 372 00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:48,614 Buongiorno. 373 00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:50,366 Hey. 374 00:26:50,484 --> 00:26:52,577 Hey, I just moved here, so I was wondering 375 00:26:52,695 --> 00:26:54,746 if that date might fall into place. 376 00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:56,998 - Do you remember my name? - You never told me. 377 00:26:57,116 --> 00:26:58,916 - Scusa. - You're learning. 378 00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:06,132 And you're not afraid to embarrass yourself, that's good. 379 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,759 I'm Evan. 380 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:11,179 Louise. Did you just... did you just touch my boob? 381 00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:13,431 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. 382 00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:16,225 - Wow. - All right, one last time 383 00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:18,478 and I'll let you go. Will you go out with me? 384 00:27:18,595 --> 00:27:20,229 I don't know. 385 00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,402 That's a huge cock. 386 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,821 It's fertility imagery. 387 00:27:28,939 --> 00:27:32,784 No, that's... that's Roman porn. 388 00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:34,494 Are you an artist? 389 00:27:34,611 --> 00:27:35,828 No, are you? 390 00:27:35,946 --> 00:27:37,914 No, I was a cook, 391 00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,707 now I'm a farmer. 392 00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,793 A farmer. 393 00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:43,252 I just started. 394 00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:45,588 That was fast. 395 00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:47,876 Are you impressed? 396 00:27:47,976 --> 00:27:50,510 No. Don't... don't touch that. 397 00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:54,639 It's hard to make a living in a tourist town. 398 00:27:54,757 --> 00:27:55,973 How do you do it? 399 00:27:56,091 --> 00:27:58,476 I don't. I'm a student. 400 00:27:58,594 --> 00:28:00,395 And how did you end up here? 401 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,480 I'm studying evolutionary genetics. 402 00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:05,817 It's easier to isolate genes in a homogeneous population. 403 00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,198 Um, I'm researching stuff here 404 00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:14,951 'cause not many people have left or emigrated. 405 00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:16,369 I'm fucking up your job. 406 00:28:16,487 --> 00:28:19,914 Yes, you are. So go back to America, fascist. 407 00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:21,165 Great scam you pulled 408 00:28:21,283 --> 00:28:23,418 having the university pay for you to live here, though. 409 00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:26,295 I know, right? 410 00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:29,882 What do you think of her? 411 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,844 She's hot. 412 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,388 You think so? 413 00:28:35,506 --> 00:28:37,557 I need caffeine. 414 00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,696 What... what happened to your hand? 415 00:28:51,814 --> 00:28:55,825 Um, I punched a guy. 416 00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:58,286 Did it hurt? 417 00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:00,204 No. 418 00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:01,747 Yes. 419 00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:04,876 Did you... did you feel better? 420 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:07,837 I know, I'm a child, I'm immature... 421 00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:10,548 I was just going to say we're all human. 422 00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:19,223 My family would vacation here when I was little 423 00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:22,727 and I would see these old men sitting here. 424 00:29:22,845 --> 00:29:26,272 Sometimes I wonder if it's the same ones. 425 00:29:26,390 --> 00:29:28,441 You don't sound Italian. 426 00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:34,113 - Are you really from around here? - Not far. I traveled a lot, though. 427 00:29:34,231 --> 00:29:36,449 So I sound weird as fuck. 428 00:29:36,567 --> 00:29:38,242 Did you learn your English in England? 429 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,120 I did. But then I studied in America for a while. 430 00:29:41,238 --> 00:29:42,663 - Where? - New York. 431 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:44,415 - I've never been there. - You've never been to New York? 432 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:45,583 - Are you kidding me? - Nope. 433 00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:47,335 I thought all Americans have been to New York. 434 00:29:47,453 --> 00:29:49,003 - I've been to Southern California, - Right. 435 00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:52,757 - Mexico, and here. - Oh, Mexico. I love Mexico. 436 00:29:52,875 --> 00:29:54,926 I went there with my ex on a boat. 437 00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:56,511 What happened? 438 00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:58,471 We had so much Mexican food. 439 00:29:58,589 --> 00:30:01,182 - No, no, with the guy. - Oh. Oh, he was awful. 440 00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,434 Oh, he was... he always had to conquer something. 441 00:30:03,552 --> 00:30:05,670 Why did you date him, then? 442 00:30:05,770 --> 00:30:08,439 He wrote me very romantic love letters 443 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:11,943 and he was so much fun to drink wine with. 444 00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,070 Let's get a bottle of wine. 445 00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:18,866 Okay, but you have to write me a letter first. 446 00:30:18,984 --> 00:30:22,787 You can write it while I finish my espresso. 447 00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:09,125 I'm still jet-lagged. 448 00:31:09,243 --> 00:31:12,878 Flipping my days for nights is making everything feel like I'm in a dream. 449 00:31:12,996 --> 00:31:14,338 Thanks for the wine. 450 00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,841 It's most of my paycheck that I haven't gotten yet, 451 00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:18,092 but you're worth it. 452 00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:20,511 You shouldn't pay for things. 453 00:31:20,629 --> 00:31:25,433 What if I told you I'm actually a successful businessman 454 00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:28,185 taking a break from all my wealth? 455 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,854 Are you? 456 00:31:29,972 --> 00:31:31,564 I'm not. 457 00:31:31,682 --> 00:31:34,567 When I would sit at the bar at the restaurant I worked at, 458 00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:37,778 for every one woman I'd catch combing the place 459 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,697 for a doctor or lawyer, 460 00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:43,242 I'd see like 10 of them with some bum like me. 461 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,828 Did you like being a cook? 462 00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,997 No. 463 00:31:48,115 --> 00:31:51,208 - It was fucking horrible. - It can always be worse. 464 00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:53,544 And here you are, trying new stuff. 465 00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:56,547 I mean, I could do something really important, still. 466 00:31:56,665 --> 00:32:00,009 - Like invent an app or something. - Or get your own reality show. 467 00:32:00,127 --> 00:32:02,386 - The dream. The dream. - Oh. 468 00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:06,432 At least you're living. 469 00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:09,477 Yeah, I always used to say that, too. 470 00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:11,395 Right now if I really had the choice, though, 471 00:32:11,513 --> 00:32:14,065 I might take professional success over living. 472 00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:15,399 I've worked many jobs 473 00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:18,819 and none of them... none... have been worth missing life. 474 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:23,449 That's very European and all, but you know... 475 00:32:23,567 --> 00:32:26,911 Know what? 476 00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:30,081 Taking siestas and being less competitive, that's really nice, 477 00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:32,041 but your iPhone was not invented in Europe. 478 00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:34,251 Yeah, right. You want to go somewhere? 479 00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:36,420 - Yeah. - Okay, let's do it. 480 00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:47,014 Fuck it. 481 00:32:52,679 --> 00:32:54,906 We're going into that cave! 482 00:32:55,006 --> 00:32:56,190 - Yeah! - No. 483 00:32:56,308 --> 00:32:58,901 I bet it's haunted by dead sailors. 484 00:32:59,019 --> 00:33:02,321 - I thought you were a scientist. - I am a scientist. 485 00:33:02,439 --> 00:33:05,991 What is this "dead sailor" bullshit ghost story? 486 00:33:06,109 --> 00:33:08,577 I bet you also think names determine personality, right? 487 00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:11,122 - Oh, they do. All Crystals are sluts. - Oh. 488 00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:12,251 Yeah! 489 00:33:15,077 --> 00:33:18,838 And... and Evans are nice. 490 00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:20,506 You do like me, then. 491 00:33:20,624 --> 00:33:21,966 Maybe. 492 00:33:22,084 --> 00:33:23,384 I know names don't determine shit. 493 00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:25,219 But there are still lots of mysteries out there. 494 00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:27,596 Even I'm a mystery to myself. 495 00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:30,099 I wish I could say I wasn't just a simpleminded dude. 496 00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:32,309 I understand about half of myself. 497 00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:33,978 - Then you're half magic. - Mmm. 498 00:33:34,096 --> 00:33:35,896 I'm half undiscovered science, 499 00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:39,233 bunch of confusing biochemistry, 500 00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:42,403 and some crazy hormones. 501 00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:47,783 She drowned a few months ago. 502 00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:50,953 That's horrible. 503 00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:53,289 Yeah, the dams up the mountain broke. 504 00:33:53,407 --> 00:33:55,958 Her body was taken out to the sea by the flude. 505 00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:58,669 Flood? 506 00:33:58,787 --> 00:34:01,213 And they found her dead body in Sicily. 507 00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:05,634 You know, I know it's cliché, but all the people 508 00:34:05,752 --> 00:34:09,305 that put that religious stuff up? I mean, why do they think 509 00:34:09,423 --> 00:34:11,474 God would do that to a little girl like her? 510 00:34:18,098 --> 00:34:21,484 I don't know. Maybe 'cause everybody's gonna die 511 00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:23,652 whether they believe in God or not, right? 512 00:34:27,441 --> 00:34:32,036 I have this buddy... um, great guy, always wasted, though. 513 00:34:32,154 --> 00:34:33,829 Not really perceptive. 514 00:34:33,947 --> 00:34:36,582 He goes to a party with his girlfriend, 515 00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:38,584 and this other girl, 516 00:34:38,702 --> 00:34:42,463 maybe about four feet tall, walks up to him... 517 00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:46,300 punches him in the face. Knocks him out. 518 00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:50,054 Turns out this girl was cheating on him with his girlfriend. 519 00:34:50,172 --> 00:34:54,266 So now everybody knows Tommy was knocked out by a lesbian named Tiny. 520 00:34:56,219 --> 00:35:01,232 Mm, I love Tiny, but what is your point? 521 00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:05,069 Nothing. It's just a funny story. 522 00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:50,406 No. 523 00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:41,165 In winter, you put dirt here. 524 00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:44,752 In spring, we just take off. 525 00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,003 Done. 526 00:36:57,424 --> 00:36:59,475 Perfect. 527 00:36:59,593 --> 00:37:01,532 This is... 528 00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:08,192 Got it. 529 00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:15,199 Bene. Perfect. 530 00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:17,034 You take out this... 531 00:37:18,987 --> 00:37:20,955 - All of them? - Si. 532 00:37:52,354 --> 00:37:54,238 What's that, kitty? 533 00:37:54,356 --> 00:37:57,199 What's that? What's that? 534 00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,153 This... 535 00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:22,326 Fuck, this town is small, huh? 536 00:39:24,237 --> 00:39:25,287 Hi. 537 00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:26,872 Hey. 538 00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,666 You, uh... snuck out last night. 539 00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:33,670 - I did? - Yeah. 540 00:39:36,458 --> 00:39:39,093 Mm. And who are you? 541 00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:43,097 Uh, Evan, the guy you slept with last night. 542 00:39:45,467 --> 00:39:47,351 Sorry, I don't recall. 543 00:39:56,997 --> 00:40:00,197 - Evan. - Oh, that's fucked up. 544 00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:02,699 - Don't be so emotional. - That's messed up. 545 00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:05,360 This is the best place, you should try it. 546 00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:17,297 Man, you eat a lot. 547 00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:20,050 I don't care if you call me fat. 548 00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:22,302 I was starting to think you were cooler than pulling this one. 549 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:24,138 I'm just saying I don't care. 550 00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:27,724 If this was the 1700s, you would think I'm too skinny. 551 00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:29,601 You may not believe this, but most men are not attracted 552 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,353 to women who look like preteen boys. 553 00:40:31,471 --> 00:40:32,896 Mm, some are. 554 00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:36,191 That's true, but most men just want a girl who's healthy. 555 00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:39,153 Obesity and anorexia, they're equally unattractive. 556 00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:41,488 I think your opinion of men is too high. 557 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:43,949 No, I know dudes. All we ever think about is sex, 558 00:40:44,067 --> 00:40:45,492 sometimes food, sad truth. 559 00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,162 You shouldn't say that out loud. 560 00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:50,205 Hey, do you mind if we go in here? 561 00:40:51,123 --> 00:40:52,166 Sure. 562 00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:55,210 - Do you smoke? - Sometimes. 563 00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:57,588 I smoke more than sometimes. 564 00:40:57,705 --> 00:40:59,548 Then don't. 565 00:40:59,666 --> 00:41:01,258 I don't want to live forever. 566 00:41:01,376 --> 00:41:02,801 How about this, you go out with me tomorrow night, 567 00:41:02,919 --> 00:41:04,803 I won't buy any cigarettes. 568 00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:06,054 What? 569 00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:08,724 Will you go out with me if I quit smoking? 570 00:41:08,842 --> 00:41:10,934 Don't quit for me. 571 00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:14,938 You don't want to go out with me again? 572 00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:16,732 I don't know. 573 00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:21,820 One, uh... una? 574 00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:25,282 Si. Uh, those. 575 00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:34,875 Who are these guys? 576 00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:36,335 That's Bob and Sally. 577 00:41:36,452 --> 00:41:39,630 I rescued them from a lab that was done with them. 578 00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:41,506 Would you like to adopt them? 579 00:41:41,624 --> 00:41:43,383 - No, I'm good. - Mm. 580 00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:45,469 Are you sure they should be in the same cage? 581 00:41:45,587 --> 00:41:48,388 It's only until I find them a home. 582 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:52,809 Yeah, but they're gonna fuck like... you're gonna have a billion rabbits. 583 00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,688 Do you mind if I put on some music? 584 00:41:56,806 --> 00:41:59,066 Sure, but don't judge me. 585 00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:00,817 Are you allergic to anything? 586 00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:04,905 Uh, no. These are in a lot of different languages. 587 00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:06,615 You said you wouldn't judge. 588 00:42:06,733 --> 00:42:09,451 - I'm not, I'm just impressed. - Good. 589 00:42:09,569 --> 00:42:10,994 Do you speak any of these languages? 590 00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:14,081 Mm-hmm. Do you like leeks? 591 00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,416 Sure. How many do you speak? 592 00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:19,086 - Oh, I don't know. - You don't know? 593 00:42:19,204 --> 00:42:23,465 Um... French, German, Italian, 594 00:42:23,583 --> 00:42:27,135 Spanish, a few forms of Arabic, 595 00:42:27,253 --> 00:42:30,889 Japanese, Latin, Greek... 596 00:42:31,007 --> 00:42:33,767 I think that's it. 597 00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:38,272 - You don't speak Sumerian? - No, do you? 598 00:42:38,389 --> 00:42:41,692 I don't speak dead languages. 599 00:42:42,616 --> 00:42:44,361 Do you mind? 600 00:42:44,479 --> 00:42:46,321 The ashtray isn't decoration. 601 00:42:47,857 --> 00:42:49,908 That's true. 602 00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:59,209 You should quit smoking. 603 00:42:59,327 --> 00:43:01,420 You are a hypocrite. 604 00:43:03,248 --> 00:43:06,049 No, I'm not. 605 00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:11,596 Uh, would you mind watching the soup 606 00:43:11,714 --> 00:43:14,474 while I use the restroom? 607 00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,810 Yeah, sure. 608 00:44:06,311 --> 00:44:08,779 - Soup's ready. - Just a second. 609 00:44:10,606 --> 00:44:13,742 Do you ever feel like you have to shower immediately? 610 00:44:13,860 --> 00:44:16,453 Uh, I think that's a girl thing. 611 00:44:16,571 --> 00:44:18,330 Showering is a girl thing? 612 00:44:18,448 --> 00:44:20,791 I'm going to the beach on Sunday. 613 00:44:20,908 --> 00:44:23,752 You are waiting to bathe in the sea? 614 00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,296 Uh, yup. You want to come? 615 00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:28,173 That's gross. 616 00:44:28,291 --> 00:44:29,966 Seriously, do you want to go with me? 617 00:44:30,084 --> 00:44:33,553 I can't. I'm taking medication that makes my skin sun-sensitive. 618 00:44:35,214 --> 00:44:38,475 So, I only get to see you at night? 619 00:44:38,593 --> 00:44:41,561 You can meet my husband and kids, if you want, 620 00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:44,898 but our nights together must remain a secret. 621 00:44:45,016 --> 00:44:47,901 Mm. Yeah, we'd probably get bored with each other anyway. 622 00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:53,824 Not bad. What's in it? 623 00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:56,326 Leeks, saffron, and rabbit. 624 00:44:58,738 --> 00:45:00,497 It's just a broth 625 00:45:00,615 --> 00:45:03,875 with a bunch of spices and vegetables. 626 00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:06,211 Oh, Jesus, you're a vegetarian? 627 00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:10,298 I try to be, but sometimes I crave meat. 628 00:45:25,473 --> 00:45:26,606 I've got to go to work. 629 00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:30,360 Thank you, be safe. Blanket. 630 00:45:48,830 --> 00:45:52,382 - Is this bad? - It's a tree. 631 00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:55,260 - Here. - Why don't you just kill 'em? 632 00:45:55,378 --> 00:45:58,847 They help to make fruit. 633 00:45:58,965 --> 00:46:02,476 They kill the tree so they can pollinate it? 634 00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:04,686 Mother Nature is crazy, Angelo. 635 00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:08,899 What the hell is that? 636 00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:11,943 Tumore della radice. 637 00:46:12,061 --> 00:46:13,820 No capisco. 638 00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,822 Rotten roots. 639 00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:17,908 Root rot, huh? 640 00:46:21,529 --> 00:46:23,747 I've been seeing this Italian girl. 641 00:46:23,865 --> 00:46:26,041 She's really pretty. 642 00:46:26,159 --> 00:46:28,084 But she acts kind of weird sometimes 643 00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:31,729 and I found something that gives me some doubts. 644 00:46:32,547 --> 00:46:34,461 I appreciate the Italian lessons, really, I do, 645 00:46:34,561 --> 00:46:36,326 but, Angelo, I have no idea what the hell you're saying. 646 00:46:36,444 --> 00:46:38,803 Choose your poison. 647 00:46:38,921 --> 00:46:40,972 That's your advice? 648 00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:45,060 Italian women, the best. 649 00:46:45,178 --> 00:46:48,688 That's wonderful advice, Angelo, but have you been anywhere else? 650 00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:49,981 In France. 651 00:46:50,099 --> 00:46:53,026 So Italian women, you think they're better than French women? 652 00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:55,362 I get that. 653 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,490 Your wife was a goddess, Angelo, but I got to tell you 654 00:46:58,608 --> 00:47:01,576 there's a lot of really beautiful women in the USA. 655 00:47:01,694 --> 00:47:04,412 Italian women. 656 00:47:04,530 --> 00:47:07,791 You realize in America there are a lot of Italian immigrants, right? 657 00:47:10,203 --> 00:47:14,339 Okay, what now? Is it... do we, like, bury a virgin lamb skull 658 00:47:14,457 --> 00:47:16,424 full of herbs to ward off the infection? 659 00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:17,884 Che cosa? 660 00:47:18,002 --> 00:47:20,220 You know, the whole voodoo biodynamic farming thing? 661 00:47:20,338 --> 00:47:23,014 I worked at a restaurant in college. They told me that Italian farmers... 662 00:47:23,132 --> 00:47:25,183 that's how they do it. You don't do that? 663 00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:28,937 Fungus killer spray in shed. 664 00:47:29,055 --> 00:47:30,814 Spray? Got it. 665 00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:14,149 - Did you farm again today? - Yes, I did. 666 00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:17,611 It's amazing, you're picking it up so quickly. 667 00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,237 I don't make bad jokes about what you do. 668 00:48:19,355 --> 00:48:21,406 I can imagine it being this really intense apprenticeship 669 00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:24,909 where he shares all of his worldly knowledge as you tend to the land. 670 00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,746 No, it's nothing like that. 671 00:48:30,449 --> 00:48:32,959 - Hey. - What? 672 00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:36,421 Can I ask you something? Don't get mad. 673 00:48:36,539 --> 00:48:38,798 Depends what it is. 674 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:41,134 This morning I found a used syringe on your bathroom floor. 675 00:48:41,252 --> 00:48:43,762 I know it's none of my business and we just met, but... 676 00:48:43,879 --> 00:48:46,598 Uh, okay, it's not drugs. I have a medical condition 677 00:48:46,716 --> 00:48:50,310 that comes and goes and it's a very long story. 678 00:48:50,428 --> 00:48:53,647 Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even bothered to... 679 00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:57,525 I'm... I didn't think you were a junkie, I just needed to know what it was. 680 00:48:57,643 --> 00:49:00,320 Do you think I gave you AIDS? 681 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,448 - No. - Oh, you did. You thought it! 682 00:49:03,566 --> 00:49:04,908 - No, I didn't. - Hep C? 683 00:49:05,026 --> 00:49:08,286 - That would've been worth it. - Oh, come on, I don't believe you. 684 00:49:08,404 --> 00:49:10,914 Can I do something really corny right now? 685 00:49:11,032 --> 00:49:12,123 Again? 686 00:49:12,241 --> 00:49:13,750 I've been carrying this thing around for a week 687 00:49:13,868 --> 00:49:16,753 and I haven't used it once, but I'd really like a picture with you. 688 00:49:16,871 --> 00:49:18,088 You haven't called anyone? 689 00:49:18,205 --> 00:49:22,050 Uh, calling card's cheaper and the only person I call is Tommy 690 00:49:22,168 --> 00:49:24,469 and he's always drunk, so... 691 00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:27,472 What about your family? 692 00:49:29,592 --> 00:49:31,726 Well, tell me about your family. 693 00:49:31,844 --> 00:49:34,813 Well, they're great. 694 00:49:34,930 --> 00:49:37,107 Scusa. Scusa! 695 00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:43,822 - Sure. - Grazie. 696 00:49:43,939 --> 00:49:46,282 - Just one photo, please. - All right. 697 00:49:48,752 --> 00:49:51,346 - Okay. - Grazie. 698 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:53,707 - You moved. - Un altro? 699 00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:56,334 - No, no. Grazie, no. - Okay. 700 00:50:00,956 --> 00:50:04,676 Tell... tell me about your family. 701 00:50:04,794 --> 00:50:08,680 I really don't want to do that right now. 702 00:50:10,591 --> 00:50:12,016 Come on. 703 00:50:14,804 --> 00:50:16,896 You're seriously mad because I don't want to talk about something? 704 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,732 You just want to come here, fuck a foreign girl, 705 00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:20,608 and show your stupid friend the picture. 706 00:50:20,726 --> 00:50:22,736 That doesn't make any sense. 707 00:50:22,853 --> 00:50:24,863 And when I ask you something important about you 708 00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:27,991 and you don't tell me, that means you can't be intimate. 709 00:50:28,109 --> 00:50:29,325 I'm so confused right now. 710 00:50:29,443 --> 00:50:33,163 Look, I went to the fucking beach with you. 711 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,682 I'm sorry. 712 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,976 I think you're overreacting, but I'm sorry. 713 00:50:55,094 --> 00:50:59,564 And I think you're being annoying, but maybe I was just being crazy. 714 00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:02,484 Do you want to hear about my family? 715 00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:05,111 Yes, I do. Yes. 716 00:51:05,229 --> 00:51:06,571 It's a fucked-up story. 717 00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:09,240 So we're sleeping together and I'm, like, making you meals, 718 00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:10,617 but you can't tell me anything? 719 00:51:10,735 --> 00:51:12,410 The only family I had was my mom and dad. 720 00:51:12,528 --> 00:51:14,788 My dad died suddenly of a heart attack. 721 00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:17,749 My mom was diagnosed with cancer a few months after that. 722 00:51:17,867 --> 00:51:19,876 I came home from college a couple years ago 723 00:51:19,994 --> 00:51:22,587 to take care of her and she died last week. 724 00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:28,218 Wow, I mean, that's horrible. 725 00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:30,386 No shit. 726 00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:34,265 Not exactly great dinner conversation. 727 00:51:34,383 --> 00:51:36,893 Are you okay? 728 00:51:39,138 --> 00:51:42,690 Do I seem all right? 729 00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:46,694 I like you. 730 00:51:46,812 --> 00:51:48,238 Were you better before? 731 00:51:48,355 --> 00:51:50,698 I think I'm all right. 732 00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:55,328 You've got the same backstory as Batman. 733 00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:57,760 This is so cool. 734 00:52:00,159 --> 00:52:02,377 Are you mad? 735 00:52:02,495 --> 00:52:05,380 I mean, I've got nothing to avenge if I become a masked vigilante... 736 00:52:05,498 --> 00:52:07,841 Oh, shut up. I mean how sometimes 737 00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:11,094 even if you don't believe in a higher power, you get mad at one. 738 00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:17,517 Yeah, I'm mad at something for doing that to them, 739 00:52:17,635 --> 00:52:20,228 making me put my life on hold 740 00:52:20,346 --> 00:52:22,647 while I worked at the same shitty bar 741 00:52:22,765 --> 00:52:25,900 I grew up thinking I never want to end up at. 742 00:52:31,065 --> 00:52:33,658 How do girls know to do that? 743 00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:36,452 What is it you would've done instead? 744 00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:40,790 I don't know. 745 00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:42,333 And I feel... 746 00:52:42,451 --> 00:52:47,255 I feel guilty and selfish for... 747 00:52:47,373 --> 00:52:52,010 like a sociopath for worrying about what I'm doing for work 748 00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:54,178 when my whole family just died. 749 00:52:54,296 --> 00:52:58,850 Your professional life is fine. 750 00:52:58,968 --> 00:53:01,019 Do you feel like an orphaned farmer? 751 00:53:02,304 --> 00:53:05,565 No, but I feel like a grown-ass man who misses his parents. 752 00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:15,699 So... 753 00:53:17,444 --> 00:53:19,787 you gonna tell me something now? 754 00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:23,204 Like what? 755 00:53:24,451 --> 00:53:26,544 I don't know. But I just bared my soul to you. 756 00:53:26,662 --> 00:53:29,672 - That was baring your soul? - Fuck off. 757 00:53:29,790 --> 00:53:32,967 Okay, let's see, mm. 758 00:53:33,085 --> 00:53:34,886 Not this one, no. 759 00:53:35,004 --> 00:53:40,725 Um, did you know I have two different color eyes? 760 00:53:40,843 --> 00:53:42,727 What do you mean? 761 00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:49,400 Holy shit. 762 00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:51,069 Why do you wear the contact? 763 00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:55,907 My ex-boyfriend always made fun of it. 764 00:53:56,025 --> 00:53:58,826 - What an asshole. - I'm joking. I'm lying. 765 00:53:58,944 --> 00:54:00,745 No one ever did that. 766 00:54:02,448 --> 00:54:04,123 You probably lie a lot. 767 00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:06,834 I've actually never lied to you. 768 00:54:06,952 --> 00:54:10,254 Not once. 769 00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:13,424 Your eyes are beautiful. 770 00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:16,177 And you're not very creative. 771 00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,273 Hey, Angelo? 772 00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:33,111 Si? 773 00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:39,534 Never seen a tree that has two different fruits on it. 774 00:54:39,652 --> 00:54:41,577 Lorange tree. 775 00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:45,081 Got lemons and oranges, so I call it a lorange tree. 776 00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:47,583 Or are those limes? 777 00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:53,340 You get it, loranges? 778 00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:54,492 That's it? 779 00:54:56,794 --> 00:55:00,638 Old tree uses new tree. 780 00:55:00,756 --> 00:55:02,265 The fruit looks good. 781 00:55:02,383 --> 00:55:03,933 Oh, yes. 782 00:55:06,804 --> 00:55:09,313 - Vulcano. - Volcano? 783 00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:12,859 Yes, volcano make good soil. 784 00:55:12,977 --> 00:55:15,528 - Is it active? - Ha! 785 00:55:40,947 --> 00:55:42,972 Shit. 786 00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:25,431 Good job, Bob. 787 00:56:30,012 --> 00:56:31,729 Sorry, Sally. 788 00:58:28,005 --> 00:58:30,973 Come in. 789 00:58:31,091 --> 00:58:32,391 Hey. 790 00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:34,602 Long, bad day. 791 00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,020 Let's stay in. 792 00:58:36,138 --> 00:58:37,521 - Really? - Yeah. 793 00:58:37,639 --> 00:58:40,650 Sorry I'm being really boring. 794 00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:43,486 - You feel all right? - I think so. 795 00:58:43,604 --> 00:58:45,029 Do I look all right? 796 00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:46,530 You look beautiful. 797 00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:50,409 I might be sick. You may not want to get too close. 798 00:58:54,198 --> 00:58:56,207 What are you doing? 799 00:58:56,325 --> 00:58:59,293 Lift up your head. 800 00:58:59,411 --> 00:59:03,881 I read that this is what you do when a girl gets sick. 801 00:59:03,999 --> 00:59:05,883 You don't have to. 802 00:59:07,127 --> 00:59:08,761 Anything to eat? 803 00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:12,431 There are some oranges and yogurt in the fridge. 804 00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:15,476 Here, find something for us to watch. 805 00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,230 What happened to Bob and Sally? 806 00:59:19,348 --> 00:59:21,440 I don't want to talk about it. 807 00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:30,241 You want some? 808 00:59:30,359 --> 00:59:32,910 Thanks. 809 00:59:33,028 --> 00:59:35,204 My friend Tommy said he was born with a tail. 810 00:59:35,322 --> 00:59:38,749 I doubt your friend Tommy is one of the 23 cases ever. 811 00:59:38,867 --> 00:59:40,293 - No, he totally is. - Mm, yeah. 812 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,753 We have lots of things we don't use anymore. 813 00:59:42,871 --> 00:59:45,506 I'm pretty sure they sell this at Urban Ourfitters. 814 00:59:45,624 --> 00:59:48,843 It's oversimplified and misleading, but I like the pictures. 815 00:59:48,961 --> 00:59:50,803 Want some water? 816 00:59:50,921 --> 00:59:52,888 Vino. 817 00:59:53,006 --> 00:59:54,890 - Vino? - Wine. 818 00:59:55,008 --> 00:59:56,475 I know. 819 01:00:00,722 --> 01:00:02,440 Thank you. 820 01:00:11,233 --> 01:00:13,117 Di piu? How much more? 821 01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:15,286 Basta finito. 822 01:00:15,404 --> 01:00:18,456 - For the day? - Si. 823 01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:20,166 Well, let's go fishing or something. 824 01:00:20,284 --> 01:00:22,501 No. Sono stanco. 825 01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:23,961 Come on, man. 826 01:00:24,079 --> 01:00:26,213 My girlfriend's at work, I got nothing to do. 827 01:00:27,916 --> 01:00:30,468 Look, if you're stanco, let me drive these down. 828 01:00:30,585 --> 01:00:32,806 Have fun. 829 01:01:20,635 --> 01:01:23,687 Whoo! Touchdown, Epsilon, 830 01:01:23,805 --> 01:01:27,191 Lamda, Omega! Run! Run, run, Pledge! 831 01:01:27,309 --> 01:01:29,944 Run faster, faggot! 832 01:01:30,062 --> 01:01:33,030 Oh, oh, fuck you! 833 01:01:33,148 --> 01:01:35,533 Oh, oh, oh! 834 01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:42,748 Oh, say, can you see 835 01:01:42,866 --> 01:01:45,835 My gigantic cock? 836 01:02:34,251 --> 01:02:37,761 - Oh. Hi. - Oh, my God. 837 01:02:37,879 --> 01:02:39,763 - What are you doing here? - Walking home from work. 838 01:02:39,881 --> 01:02:41,432 What are you doing here? 839 01:02:41,550 --> 01:02:43,476 Um, here. 840 01:02:43,593 --> 01:02:45,936 We're buying gifts now? 841 01:02:46,054 --> 01:02:49,607 It has Roman porn in it. Remember? 842 01:02:49,724 --> 01:02:51,108 You didn't sign it, though. 843 01:03:11,079 --> 01:03:13,589 There are so many more tourists here than usual. 844 01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:15,549 This is the beginning. 845 01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:18,969 Late spring is a madhouse. 846 01:03:20,922 --> 01:03:22,431 - You want to go somewhere? - Let's go. 847 01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:26,560 Okay, but you can't tell anyone. It's a secret. 848 01:03:26,678 --> 01:03:29,605 Not Tommy, no girls. 849 01:03:29,723 --> 01:03:32,233 - Anywhere away from tourists. - You're a tourist. 850 01:03:32,350 --> 01:03:34,485 We have to get my boat. Come on. 851 01:03:34,603 --> 01:03:36,654 You have a boat? 852 01:03:40,233 --> 01:03:42,660 - Come on, faster, Evan! Faster! - Can you swim if we sink? 853 01:03:42,777 --> 01:03:44,703 The lady gorilla won't sink. 854 01:03:44,821 --> 01:03:46,539 Seriously, can you swim? 855 01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:48,332 Okay, so we're very close. 856 01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:51,168 So paddle us as fast as you can, then get down. 857 01:03:51,286 --> 01:03:53,848 All right, have you done this before? 858 01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:03,722 This looks like magic. 859 01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:07,851 Looks like stuff from nature we haven't figured out yet. 860 01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:09,812 Well, what makes this? 861 01:04:09,930 --> 01:04:11,981 The glow? It's from refracted sunlight 862 01:04:12,098 --> 01:04:15,150 coming through a big hole underwater. 863 01:04:15,268 --> 01:04:16,694 How did you find it? 864 01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:18,654 My friend showed it to me. 865 01:04:18,772 --> 01:04:23,492 There are some others the tours go to, but this one is a secret. 866 01:04:25,237 --> 01:04:29,707 Some of the Roman statues from the exhibit were found over there. 867 01:04:36,998 --> 01:04:40,050 Hormones and biochemistry. 868 01:04:40,168 --> 01:04:43,887 Moment ruined and I think we're taking on water. 869 01:04:44,005 --> 01:04:46,223 Stop talking shit about my boat, Evan. 870 01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:08,078 Can I ask you something awkward now? 871 01:05:08,196 --> 01:05:09,913 No. 872 01:05:10,031 --> 01:05:14,126 Do you ever change your clothes? 873 01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:16,587 - Yes! - Really? 874 01:05:16,705 --> 01:05:18,964 All I brought is my backpack and the only things they sell here 875 01:05:19,082 --> 01:05:20,633 are, like, "I heart Bologna" shirts. 876 01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:23,344 Octopussy! 877 01:05:23,461 --> 01:05:26,347 - We are not all like that. - Octopussy. 878 01:05:26,464 --> 01:05:28,057 You girls old enough to drink? 879 01:05:28,174 --> 01:05:31,143 You know where we can get some beer? 880 01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:32,936 Uh, Evan, are you still hungry? 881 01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:34,229 No, I'm good. 882 01:05:34,347 --> 01:05:36,440 'Cause you know, the clinic opens really early tomorrow. 883 01:05:36,558 --> 01:05:38,734 - Yeah, I have work tomorrow, too. - I've got to go to bed. 884 01:05:38,852 --> 01:05:40,903 - Don't pay for me. - No, you did all the rowing. 885 01:05:41,021 --> 01:05:44,198 But thanks for a wonderful time. 886 01:06:16,723 --> 01:06:19,024 What up? 887 01:06:19,142 --> 01:06:22,778 Hey, I have weed in my hotel room. 888 01:06:27,769 --> 01:06:29,660 I don't speak French. 889 01:06:31,988 --> 01:06:35,124 How much to suck my dick? 890 01:06:46,503 --> 01:06:47,845 What the...? 891 01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:33,432 Football bad? 892 01:07:33,550 --> 01:07:35,058 Si. 893 01:07:35,176 --> 01:07:36,643 Where are you off to all dapper? 894 01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:38,270 Chiesa. Come. 895 01:07:54,529 --> 01:07:56,455 Grazie. 896 01:08:04,873 --> 01:08:07,508 Your Italian is going better. 897 01:08:07,625 --> 01:08:09,662 Yeah, I'm trying. 898 01:08:11,379 --> 01:08:14,139 Are there any single donne at church? 899 01:08:14,257 --> 01:08:16,475 Si. 900 01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,602 You should ask one out. 901 01:08:20,638 --> 01:08:24,525 - I can't. - Yeah, you can. 902 01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:26,485 My wife. 903 01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:33,033 Oh, well... 904 01:08:33,151 --> 01:08:35,786 if you ever feel ready, then you should. 905 01:09:23,243 --> 01:09:25,335 - Hey. - Hey. 906 01:09:25,453 --> 01:09:26,962 Something wrong? 907 01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:29,673 No, it's... 908 01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:32,467 - Can I come in? - No, it's not a good time right now. 909 01:09:34,754 --> 01:09:37,973 Um, well, I mean if you really have to. 910 01:09:49,018 --> 01:09:53,572 Um, I didn't sleep at all last night, 911 01:09:53,690 --> 01:09:57,200 so forgive me if I stumble through this. 912 01:09:57,318 --> 01:09:59,828 I don't even know how much you need me to tell you this, 913 01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:02,247 because it's been barely a week, 914 01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:06,043 but things got intense so fast and... 915 01:10:07,912 --> 01:10:10,088 Tell me what? 916 01:10:10,206 --> 01:10:13,216 We can't see each other anymore. 917 01:10:15,587 --> 01:10:18,305 - Are you serious? - Yes. 918 01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:21,058 I don't think you're ready for where this is going 919 01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:22,935 and I have some things I need to work through 920 01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:24,895 without being in a relationship. 921 01:10:25,013 --> 01:10:26,855 And, Evan, I'm... 922 01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:30,525 I'm really, really sorry for leading you on like this. 923 01:10:30,643 --> 01:10:34,321 I can see how you could feel like this has... 924 01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:37,032 this has all been going so fast. 925 01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:40,160 Like, if you're freaked out and you need some space, that's fine. 926 01:10:40,278 --> 01:10:42,245 Evan, you've been through a lot recently 927 01:10:42,363 --> 01:10:45,749 and maybe you're not thinking clearly, but... 928 01:10:49,037 --> 01:10:50,712 I'm fine. 929 01:10:50,830 --> 01:10:53,757 - What's your problem? - No, I... 930 01:10:53,875 --> 01:10:58,261 I'd really rather not explain what's the problem. 931 01:10:58,379 --> 01:11:02,307 Um, again, I can't tell you how sorry I am 932 01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:05,727 and that you're a wonderful guy, but... 933 01:11:05,845 --> 01:11:09,815 What happened to intimacy being talking about stuff? 934 01:11:11,809 --> 01:11:15,195 That's it? So I leave here 935 01:11:15,313 --> 01:11:18,740 and it's like you and I never happened? 936 01:11:18,858 --> 01:11:21,618 We never see each other again? 937 01:11:27,784 --> 01:11:29,084 Okay. 938 01:11:37,418 --> 01:11:39,052 I want you to know something... 939 01:11:39,170 --> 01:11:42,431 take it or leave it... 940 01:11:42,548 --> 01:11:44,516 I think you could be the love of my life, 941 01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:47,894 and I know that sounds stupid, it's only been five days. 942 01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:50,147 But it's true. 943 01:11:50,264 --> 01:11:53,150 If you don't feel anything for me and that's what this is really about, 944 01:11:53,267 --> 01:11:55,110 then I wish you the best with everything in your life 945 01:11:55,228 --> 01:11:58,321 'cause I think you're an amazing person. 946 01:11:58,439 --> 01:12:01,074 But if you do feel something, 947 01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:04,286 I think you should think about this a little bit longer. 948 01:12:12,453 --> 01:12:14,004 All right. 949 01:12:42,608 --> 01:12:43,950 I'm taking off, Angelo. 950 01:12:47,822 --> 01:12:50,499 Uh, donne problema. 951 01:12:51,760 --> 01:12:53,335 Oh, I didn't hit her. 952 01:12:53,453 --> 01:12:57,214 I hit a wall 'cause she broke up with me. 953 01:12:57,831 --> 01:12:59,216 Stupido. 954 01:13:01,294 --> 01:13:03,011 "Donna Italiana," right? 955 01:13:03,129 --> 01:13:05,138 Ciao. 956 01:13:08,634 --> 01:13:10,435 Hey, Angelo? 957 01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:15,065 I wanted to say thank you. 958 01:13:15,183 --> 01:13:17,067 Uh, even with all this, I'm living the fantasy 959 01:13:17,185 --> 01:13:19,402 of some rich American housewife. 960 01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:24,407 I don't know how much longer I'm gonna stay here, 961 01:13:24,525 --> 01:13:27,202 but I want you to know that I appreciate all this. 962 01:13:32,283 --> 01:13:33,875 Policia? 963 01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:36,211 Immigrazione. 964 01:13:36,329 --> 01:13:38,588 Immigration? Do I need to worry? 965 01:13:38,706 --> 01:13:40,966 - Si. - Should I run? 966 01:13:41,084 --> 01:13:42,759 Si. 967 01:14:15,201 --> 01:14:18,295 So back in the US, the cops are after me. 968 01:14:18,412 --> 01:14:21,089 Before that, I lost my job 969 01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:24,593 and lost my... my parents. 970 01:14:26,671 --> 01:14:29,764 Here, I lost my job, 971 01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:34,352 lost my girlfriend, and the cops are after me. 972 01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:15,829 Can you start... 973 01:16:15,947 --> 01:16:18,456 can you start the shower, please? 974 01:16:42,265 --> 01:16:43,898 Are you a vampire, werewolf, 975 01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:47,444 zombie, witch, or alien? 976 01:16:48,361 --> 01:16:50,113 Human. 977 01:16:52,525 --> 01:16:54,784 Are you scared of me? 978 01:16:56,153 --> 01:16:58,163 Yeah, 979 01:16:58,281 --> 01:17:01,916 but explain it to me. 980 01:17:05,413 --> 01:17:07,434 Sorry, I... 981 01:17:09,959 --> 01:17:12,469 Evan. 982 01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:14,471 Calm... 983 01:17:14,588 --> 01:17:16,765 Fuck. 984 01:17:22,430 --> 01:17:25,273 Evan, that is me. 985 01:17:26,934 --> 01:17:28,735 No, it's not. 986 01:17:28,853 --> 01:17:30,195 It is. 987 01:17:30,313 --> 01:17:33,490 I posed for that painting almost 2,000 years ago. 988 01:17:33,607 --> 01:17:36,826 Ha! This is the crazy I can't handle. 989 01:17:36,944 --> 01:17:40,663 My eyes are like this because of hereditary heterochromia. 990 01:17:40,781 --> 01:17:42,040 Do you know what that means? 991 01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:44,501 I don't know. You, like, give it to your kids or something? 992 01:17:44,618 --> 01:17:47,629 Correct, but I've been giving it to myself. 993 01:17:47,747 --> 01:17:49,714 There are things I have found out in the last two decades 994 01:17:49,832 --> 01:17:52,759 that I don't understand entirely and you may find them upsetting. 995 01:17:52,877 --> 01:17:54,344 You're trying not to upset me? 996 01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,013 You dumped me and became a monster. 997 01:17:57,131 --> 01:17:59,057 Okay, you win one argument. 998 01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:03,144 Um, do you know what embryonic stem cells are? 999 01:18:03,262 --> 01:18:05,438 Cure stuff. You abort babies to get 'em. 1000 01:18:05,556 --> 01:18:07,982 Not necessarily, but you kind of get the idea. 1001 01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:10,443 They replicate for a long time and can be used to heal 1002 01:18:10,561 --> 01:18:12,195 - or maintain your whole body. - So that's what you are? 1003 01:18:12,313 --> 01:18:14,072 You're like "Newsweek" fountain of youth cells or something? 1004 01:18:14,190 --> 01:18:15,990 Sure, so my body uses the cells 1005 01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:19,661 so I stay the same age and heal very fast. 1006 01:18:19,779 --> 01:18:22,539 But... embryonic cells? 1007 01:18:22,656 --> 01:18:24,999 Are you fucking pregnant? 1008 01:18:26,410 --> 01:18:27,961 Fuck! 1009 01:18:28,079 --> 01:18:30,046 I conceive and about a week later 1010 01:18:30,164 --> 01:18:33,049 I'm a healthy 20-year-old with 50% new DNA. 1011 01:18:33,167 --> 01:18:37,720 I stay the same age for about 20 years and then I need new cells. 1012 01:18:37,838 --> 01:18:41,433 - And you dumped me once you got 'em. - You wouldn't have recognized me anyway. 1013 01:18:41,550 --> 01:18:45,645 I'll have to start a new life. I always do, every 20 years. 1014 01:18:45,763 --> 01:18:48,481 Why tonight? Why even get to know me? 1015 01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:50,024 I didn't want to hurt you. 1016 01:18:50,142 --> 01:18:52,902 - Ha! - God damn it, I mean physically. 1017 01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:55,530 Before my body uses the cells, it goes crazy. 1018 01:18:55,648 --> 01:18:58,408 I rot, I turn into creatures from our evolutionary past, 1019 01:18:58,526 --> 01:19:01,494 - I fucking kill stuff! - Fuck! 1020 01:19:03,239 --> 01:19:06,082 - Hey, we both have tempers, huh? - Yeah, but mine's worse. 1021 01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:09,210 And something is off. And I thought I could control it, but... 1022 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:12,088 fuck, I got... 1023 01:19:12,206 --> 01:19:15,091 I got desperate and I tried occult books and... 1024 01:19:15,209 --> 01:19:17,385 - Occult books? - I ate my rabbit. 1025 01:19:17,503 --> 01:19:20,096 - What? - Okay, it's not magic, okay? 1026 01:19:20,214 --> 01:19:24,434 There's adult stem cells in cat brains and rabbit intestines, testicles. 1027 01:19:24,552 --> 01:19:25,935 Well, use those! 1028 01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:29,314 I do, but they aren't as effective. 1029 01:19:29,432 --> 01:19:33,193 Okay, well, whatever I saw on your living room floor, 1030 01:19:33,310 --> 01:19:35,737 that was not the physical laws of the universe. 1031 01:19:35,855 --> 01:19:37,363 - Okay, just... - I need a second. 1032 01:19:37,481 --> 01:19:39,449 Look, just because you haven't seen something before, Evan, 1033 01:19:39,567 --> 01:19:41,784 doesn't mean it's supernatural. 1034 01:19:42,443 --> 01:19:45,163 Evan. Can you please stop walking away? 1035 01:19:45,281 --> 01:19:47,582 - Please? - Give me a minute. 1036 01:20:31,619 --> 01:20:34,003 - Hello? - Hello? Tommy! 1037 01:20:34,121 --> 01:20:35,463 - Yeah? - Hey, it's Evan! 1038 01:20:35,581 --> 01:20:37,131 - Ev! - What's up, man? 1039 01:20:37,249 --> 01:20:41,135 - How you doin', brother? - I'm good, I'm good. 1040 01:20:41,253 --> 01:20:44,264 - Yeah, I met a girl. - What? Is she fucking hot? 1041 01:20:44,381 --> 01:20:47,684 Yeah, she's... she's really hot, yeah. 1042 01:20:48,302 --> 01:20:51,854 - Um, do you have a sec? - Uh, sure, man. 1043 01:20:51,972 --> 01:20:53,356 What's up? 1044 01:20:53,474 --> 01:20:57,235 I got this girl or, uh... maybe monster pregnant 1045 01:20:57,353 --> 01:20:59,028 and I don't know if she's gonna, like, 1046 01:20:59,146 --> 01:21:01,030 - give birth to herself or... - What? 1047 01:21:01,148 --> 01:21:04,242 - Hello? Tommy? Tommy? - Hello? Ev? 1048 01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:06,703 Ev, dude, I just smoked a huge fucking bowl... 1049 01:21:06,820 --> 01:21:08,746 - Smoked a huge bowl? - Yeah, man. 1050 01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:11,874 - Like, right before you called. - Gotcha. 1051 01:21:11,992 --> 01:21:13,626 Yeah, right before I got on the phone? Okay. 1052 01:21:13,744 --> 01:21:15,378 Yeah. 1053 01:21:15,496 --> 01:21:19,382 Um, no, no. No problem, man, no problem at all. 1054 01:21:19,500 --> 01:21:22,176 Just, uh... I'll call you back another time. 1055 01:21:22,294 --> 01:21:23,761 Call me back, man. Have a good time out there. 1056 01:21:23,879 --> 01:21:26,556 Yeah. Yup, enjoy. 1057 01:22:35,492 --> 01:22:37,752 I know it's complicated, obviously, 1058 01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:41,464 but let's talk about this. 1059 01:22:44,668 --> 01:22:48,388 That's me. 1060 01:22:48,505 --> 01:22:50,807 It's something chemical. 1061 01:22:50,924 --> 01:22:53,476 Pheromones. 1062 01:22:53,594 --> 01:22:55,520 If I do this to a plant, you have to wonder what it is 1063 01:22:55,638 --> 01:22:57,438 you're actually feeling. 1064 01:23:00,100 --> 01:23:02,485 I've seen what happens to you. 1065 01:23:02,603 --> 01:23:06,656 I mean, I've seen this at its worst, right? 1066 01:23:06,774 --> 01:23:08,491 And I can deal with that part. 1067 01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:12,495 No. You want to be with someone that is basically going to be related 1068 01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:15,790 to you and when you're 85 you'll look like an inbred pedophile? 1069 01:23:15,908 --> 01:23:18,793 - Yes, probably. - No. 1070 01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:20,503 In a day I'll be someone else and, Evan, 1071 01:23:20,621 --> 01:23:23,339 you should get far to keep all your stuff attached. 1072 01:23:23,457 --> 01:23:26,676 Let's use the time we have. 1073 01:23:26,794 --> 01:23:29,387 Why? Why? 1074 01:23:29,505 --> 01:23:31,013 For just a little while longer, 1075 01:23:31,131 --> 01:23:34,183 I'm a normal guy, you're a normal girl. 1076 01:23:34,301 --> 01:23:35,893 We're here. 1077 01:23:36,011 --> 01:23:39,355 I'd regret it if we didn't take this to its end. 1078 01:23:39,473 --> 01:23:43,484 Evan, you know that I'm not in love with you, right? 1079 01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:51,701 You like being with me. 1080 01:23:51,819 --> 01:23:53,911 You like the sex and all that? 1081 01:23:56,824 --> 01:23:59,083 You smell good. 1082 01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:01,586 And you're funny, 1083 01:24:01,704 --> 01:24:04,714 and I like the closeness. 1084 01:24:04,832 --> 01:24:07,633 Great. 1085 01:24:07,751 --> 01:24:10,052 So... 1086 01:24:10,170 --> 01:24:14,640 how different is your personality gonna be when you use my cells? 1087 01:24:14,758 --> 01:24:17,643 Well, with your impulsiveness and some other personality stuff, 1088 01:24:17,761 --> 01:24:19,270 about half of you. 1089 01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:21,731 Keep my memories, that's nice. 1090 01:24:21,849 --> 01:24:25,485 When you realize that you're madly in love with me. 1091 01:24:25,602 --> 01:24:27,236 That's the only way this goes down? 1092 01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:29,655 To live forever, yes. 1093 01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:32,158 What about not forever? 1094 01:24:32,276 --> 01:24:36,078 Evan, I really think you're great, but I'm not giving up eternity 1095 01:24:36,196 --> 01:24:37,663 - for a guy I just met a week ago. - I know. 1096 01:24:37,781 --> 01:24:42,001 I don't mean to sound like a selfish dick, but is there a way? 1097 01:24:42,119 --> 01:24:45,338 My adult stem cells, but they're weak and they would give me one life. 1098 01:24:46,874 --> 01:24:48,925 So you'd be choosing death? 1099 01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:51,677 I don't choose. 1100 01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:54,680 - What? - Nothing, nothing. 1101 01:24:54,798 --> 01:24:58,476 Seven days from getting pregnant, my body metabolizes the cells 1102 01:24:58,594 --> 01:25:00,937 and that's in about a day. 1103 01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:08,152 So spend it with me on a road trip. 1104 01:25:08,270 --> 01:25:09,612 No. 1105 01:25:09,730 --> 01:25:13,574 The transformations are getting way worse and I can't control them. 1106 01:25:13,692 --> 01:25:17,620 Come on, 24-hour road trip, or until you love me. 1107 01:25:17,738 --> 01:25:19,872 Evan, maybe we should just rip the Band-Aid off 1108 01:25:19,990 --> 01:25:24,460 before a fucking scaly appendage rips off your... head. 1109 01:25:24,578 --> 01:25:26,546 You know, you get until Earth dies, 1110 01:25:26,663 --> 01:25:29,048 I get one more day with you. 1111 01:25:29,166 --> 01:25:31,259 - Shit. - What? 1112 01:25:31,376 --> 01:25:33,010 Immigration. They came to the farm today. 1113 01:25:33,128 --> 01:25:35,471 - Fuck, we should get out of here. - Why? 1114 01:25:35,589 --> 01:25:38,015 - Um, Italian jail. - What? 1115 01:25:38,133 --> 01:25:40,142 Yes, they throw in illegal immigrants all the time. 1116 01:25:40,260 --> 01:25:42,019 Dude, they're gonna rape you. 1117 01:25:46,683 --> 01:25:49,277 Anybody ever driven off the cliff? 1118 01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:51,445 Uh, I did once. 1119 01:25:51,563 --> 01:25:53,823 Years ago. 1120 01:25:55,374 --> 01:25:56,959 You're not driving. 1121 01:26:03,617 --> 01:26:06,377 All right, where's our first hideout? 1122 01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:07,962 Naples! 1123 01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:10,006 What's in Naples? 1124 01:26:10,123 --> 01:26:14,385 Good restaurants and stores for you to buy some clothes. 1125 01:26:15,629 --> 01:26:17,263 You never told me you had a car. 1126 01:26:17,381 --> 01:26:20,057 It never came up. 1127 01:26:20,175 --> 01:26:21,893 Pull over. 1128 01:26:22,010 --> 01:26:23,436 What else do you have? 1129 01:26:23,554 --> 01:26:25,897 You've seen my boat. 1130 01:26:27,641 --> 01:26:30,484 Come on, in 2,000 years you must've invested in something. 1131 01:26:30,602 --> 01:26:33,863 Okay, I have an apartment in Rome. 1132 01:26:33,981 --> 01:26:36,240 In Paris. 1133 01:26:36,358 --> 01:26:38,326 In Bali. 1134 01:26:38,443 --> 01:26:40,703 So you're slummin' it with me right now? 1135 01:26:40,821 --> 01:26:43,039 It actually is a fucking nightmare. 1136 01:26:43,156 --> 01:26:46,250 I have to constantly come up with new federal ID numbers, 1137 01:26:46,368 --> 01:26:50,338 will stuff to myself... it's a nightmare. 1138 01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:52,924 - Right. - Right. 1139 01:26:53,041 --> 01:26:55,259 What's your original name? 1140 01:26:55,377 --> 01:26:59,180 Uh, uh... I don't remember. 1141 01:26:59,298 --> 01:27:01,057 Really? 1142 01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:03,976 Well, do you remember the address of your childhood home? 1143 01:27:04,094 --> 01:27:06,395 Yes, I do. 1144 01:27:06,513 --> 01:27:08,230 Fuck! Oh, fuck! Evan! 1145 01:27:08,348 --> 01:27:09,774 The olive farmer police! 1146 01:27:09,892 --> 01:27:11,359 Just get down, they won't see you. 1147 01:27:11,476 --> 01:27:12,860 - No! - Just get down. 1148 01:27:12,978 --> 01:27:14,820 Hold on. Hold on. 1149 01:27:18,509 --> 01:27:22,870 - Are they gone? - Yeah. That was very European. 1150 01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:36,384 This is some hipster shit. 1151 01:27:38,795 --> 01:27:41,514 We should get back on the road. 1152 01:27:41,632 --> 01:27:44,767 What do you like more, pool or the ocean? 1153 01:27:44,885 --> 01:27:47,603 Um, ocean. 1154 01:27:47,721 --> 01:27:49,772 No sharks in pools, that's nice, 1155 01:27:49,890 --> 01:27:53,275 but the ocean goes on and on and on. 1156 01:27:53,393 --> 01:27:54,902 It's mysterious. 1157 01:27:55,020 --> 01:27:56,612 Put your feet in the ocean, then. 1158 01:27:56,730 --> 01:27:59,615 No, no, this pool has enough mystery. 1159 01:27:59,733 --> 01:28:03,244 I mean, it doesn't make any sense, but it's nice. 1160 01:28:03,362 --> 01:28:05,371 Like you. 1161 01:28:05,489 --> 01:28:08,290 - I don't make any sense? - No, not really. 1162 01:28:12,079 --> 01:28:15,256 Why go on the run with me, then? 1163 01:28:15,374 --> 01:28:19,760 First time we sat down and talked, it was easy. 1164 01:28:19,878 --> 01:28:22,596 And then it stayed easy. 1165 01:28:22,714 --> 01:28:24,473 And that's it? 1166 01:28:24,591 --> 01:28:27,601 You had a profound moment I missed? 1167 01:28:30,013 --> 01:28:33,149 First time we had sex. 1168 01:28:33,266 --> 01:28:34,650 Really? 1169 01:28:36,061 --> 01:28:37,903 Yeah. 1170 01:28:38,021 --> 01:28:40,865 No, I mean, really, like, you knew then 1171 01:28:40,983 --> 01:28:43,993 you wanted graves next to each other? 1172 01:28:45,278 --> 01:28:47,997 No, I mean I... there wasn't a moment when I knew. 1173 01:28:49,908 --> 01:28:51,375 But I do know. 1174 01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:57,506 I'm just saying if I felt we should share all of our time together... 1175 01:28:57,624 --> 01:29:00,134 and I'm not saying I do... 1176 01:29:00,252 --> 01:29:04,513 it's not because of something that could be expressed. 1177 01:29:04,631 --> 01:29:08,350 And also, like, you saw me all fucked up and you're still here. 1178 01:29:10,137 --> 01:29:12,563 Oh. 1179 01:29:12,681 --> 01:29:15,274 I guess... 1180 01:29:15,392 --> 01:29:19,779 your place is clean. I like that. 1181 01:29:19,896 --> 01:29:23,032 And your voice, your voice keeps me around. 1182 01:29:32,701 --> 01:29:34,293 What? 1183 01:29:36,163 --> 01:29:38,589 Welcome to Naples! 1184 01:29:38,707 --> 01:29:42,009 - Benvenuto! - Are we looking for crack? 1185 01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:45,304 We're on the run. No police ever come here. 1186 01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:47,389 You're trying to get me killed. 1187 01:29:47,507 --> 01:29:49,225 - Hashish? - How much? 1188 01:29:49,342 --> 01:29:51,185 - No, grazie, grazie. Grazie. - 20? 1189 01:29:51,303 --> 01:29:53,562 - Can you change 50? - Don't even make eye contact. 1190 01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:56,398 Are you kidding me? 1191 01:29:56,516 --> 01:29:58,567 Do you have a lighter? 1192 01:30:00,953 --> 01:30:02,738 That's terrible. 1193 01:30:02,856 --> 01:30:05,241 We should buy you some clothes now. 1194 01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:08,244 - Why do you hate my shirt? - You don't listen. 1195 01:30:08,361 --> 01:30:10,538 - Oh, I listen. - No, you still don't. 1196 01:30:10,655 --> 01:30:12,248 Oh, I listen. 1197 01:30:12,365 --> 01:30:13,833 Uh, let's see, I got you pregnant. 1198 01:30:13,950 --> 01:30:16,460 You can use those embryo cells to heal fast and live forever. 1199 01:30:16,578 --> 01:30:19,839 When you do that, you physically become half the man who got you pregnant. 1200 01:30:19,956 --> 01:30:22,591 Um, when you are pregnant, you turn into a cross between creatures 1201 01:30:22,709 --> 01:30:24,343 from our evolutionary past and a corpse. 1202 01:30:24,461 --> 01:30:26,262 You could choose to use your adult cells, 1203 01:30:26,379 --> 01:30:27,888 but then you'd die someday, so... 1204 01:30:28,006 --> 01:30:29,765 You know, honey, 1205 01:30:29,883 --> 01:30:33,144 just because you listen to a few things doesn't make you Oprah. 1206 01:30:33,261 --> 01:30:35,062 - It does. - No, it doesn't. 1207 01:30:35,180 --> 01:30:38,816 I find it amazing that I even understood half of what you said. 1208 01:30:40,936 --> 01:30:43,612 I've actually never been in a church. 1209 01:30:43,730 --> 01:30:45,948 Well, let's go in that one. 1210 01:30:46,066 --> 01:30:47,825 - You wouldn't be bored? - No, no. 1211 01:30:47,943 --> 01:30:50,911 I haven't been to that one since the grand opening. 1212 01:30:54,950 --> 01:30:57,710 So do you know anything about all this? 1213 01:30:57,828 --> 01:31:00,462 I've always been a student of science, 1214 01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:03,507 but it's pretty and I like the rituals. 1215 01:31:03,625 --> 01:31:06,886 No, I mean do you know anything about, like...? 1216 01:31:07,003 --> 01:31:11,140 No. The gods change so much, I can't keep up. 1217 01:31:13,718 --> 01:31:17,271 All this time and all the things you haven't been able to explain. 1218 01:31:17,389 --> 01:31:20,941 Just seems like you'd know more or something. 1219 01:31:21,059 --> 01:31:24,445 Just because I can't explain something about myself right now 1220 01:31:24,563 --> 01:31:26,864 doesn't mean it's metaphysical. 1221 01:31:26,982 --> 01:31:28,824 It means science can't explain it yet. 1222 01:31:31,027 --> 01:31:33,787 You looked like a ghost in that picture at the restaurant. 1223 01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:35,539 You just saw me look like stuff 1224 01:31:35,657 --> 01:31:38,375 from stories you've read or saw, that's it. 1225 01:31:40,078 --> 01:31:44,006 Guess giant squid were myths until one washed up on a beach. 1226 01:31:44,124 --> 01:31:46,467 People used to think people with rabies 1227 01:31:46,585 --> 01:31:48,594 and porphyria were vampires, 1228 01:31:48,712 --> 01:31:51,138 but that doesn't mean vampires are real. 1229 01:31:51,256 --> 01:31:54,016 It means science hadn't caught up with the myth. 1230 01:31:54,134 --> 01:31:57,686 And even if I knew I'm supernatural, it doesn't prove anything about... 1231 01:32:00,891 --> 01:32:04,485 Fear of the unknown makes a lot of really pretty stuff, though. 1232 01:32:09,774 --> 01:32:12,660 Um, Louise, did you bring your shots? 1233 01:32:12,777 --> 01:32:14,328 Yeah, there's one in my purse. 1234 01:32:14,446 --> 01:32:17,498 - You should use it. - Why, do you see something? 1235 01:32:17,616 --> 01:32:19,667 Yeah, a little something. 1236 01:32:19,784 --> 01:32:21,168 Just do it here. 1237 01:32:21,286 --> 01:32:24,004 - Don't get up. - Okay. 1238 01:32:24,122 --> 01:32:28,300 So, this time in Prussia, 1760-something, 1239 01:32:28,418 --> 01:32:30,135 so I'm walking through the cemetery 1240 01:32:30,253 --> 01:32:31,804 and they're digging up corpses, 1241 01:32:31,922 --> 01:32:35,182 and the corpses would move from escaping gases and whatnot. 1242 01:32:35,300 --> 01:32:37,518 - And so they're, like, staking... - Hey, hey, hey, shh. 1243 01:32:37,636 --> 01:32:39,687 ...dead people, calling them vampires. 1244 01:32:39,804 --> 01:32:42,022 Nerve-wracking. So I left there. 1245 01:32:42,140 --> 01:32:45,693 I'm in the New World and women were hung for being witches 1246 01:32:45,810 --> 01:32:47,861 for, like, a lot less than my quirks. 1247 01:32:47,979 --> 01:32:50,489 One colonial guy said I was aging well. 1248 01:32:50,607 --> 01:32:53,284 No joke, I was on the first ship back to England. 1249 01:32:53,401 --> 01:32:57,579 So, then I'm in France and they were, like, burning women 1250 01:32:57,697 --> 01:32:59,248 at the stake for having a moody day. 1251 01:32:59,366 --> 01:33:02,418 So I catch a train to Germany in the 1930s, and, I mean, we all know 1252 01:33:02,535 --> 01:33:04,670 - what happened there, right? - Hey, Louise? 1253 01:33:04,788 --> 01:33:07,715 Do you want to show me... what's your favorite museum here? 1254 01:33:07,832 --> 01:33:10,050 - We should go check it out. - Oh, okay. 1255 01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:13,554 - Can we get some pizza first? - Of course, yeah. 1256 01:33:20,387 --> 01:33:23,689 Really pouring on the melodrama in this one. 1257 01:33:23,807 --> 01:33:26,650 You look so different. 1258 01:33:26,768 --> 01:33:31,905 Oh, yeah, my boyfriend before was a very unattractive Ottoman. 1259 01:33:32,023 --> 01:33:34,491 How many men are you a mix of? 1260 01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:35,909 You don't want to know. 1261 01:33:36,027 --> 01:33:38,370 I don't? 1262 01:33:38,488 --> 01:33:40,414 Are you jealous, Evan? 1263 01:33:40,532 --> 01:33:41,749 No, but if every... 1264 01:33:41,866 --> 01:33:43,417 you're 2,000 years old... if every 20 years... 1265 01:33:43,535 --> 01:33:47,254 Do you have a problem with how many men I slept with and my age? 1266 01:33:47,372 --> 01:33:51,091 Okay, just in the fresco in the book I gave you. 1267 01:33:51,209 --> 01:33:53,927 None. I'm actually 22 years old in that painting. 1268 01:33:54,045 --> 01:33:55,929 You're a virgin in that painting? 1269 01:33:56,047 --> 01:33:59,266 Yes. Does that make you happy? 1270 01:34:03,930 --> 01:34:07,066 So you really hated being martyred, huh? 1271 01:34:07,183 --> 01:34:09,902 I was just a peasant posing for the scene. 1272 01:34:10,020 --> 01:34:12,071 After the Black Plague, I think I was just happy 1273 01:34:12,188 --> 01:34:13,781 I wasn't scrubbing bodily fluids. 1274 01:34:13,898 --> 01:34:15,783 I have just one question. 1275 01:34:19,070 --> 01:34:20,579 Who the fuck is this guy? 1276 01:34:20,697 --> 01:34:22,956 Where do you think I got these fingers from? 1277 01:34:23,074 --> 01:34:26,043 You're still really pretty as an Ottoman peasant. 1278 01:34:26,161 --> 01:34:29,003 Look at... look at this guy. He's like... 1279 01:34:29,664 --> 01:34:32,800 "Stop! Stop hitting me!" 1280 01:34:35,086 --> 01:34:38,347 I wanted to show you something even older than me. 1281 01:34:39,591 --> 01:34:41,100 I saw this on The Learning Channel. 1282 01:34:41,217 --> 01:34:45,396 It was a bomb shelter during World War II. 1283 01:34:45,513 --> 01:34:49,358 Yeah, mention World War II and every American becomes a historian. 1284 01:34:49,476 --> 01:34:52,736 Oh, do they? Well, we watch movies. 1285 01:34:52,854 --> 01:34:55,072 Lots of them. 1286 01:34:58,777 --> 01:35:02,663 So, um, what happens when... when this goes down? 1287 01:35:02,781 --> 01:35:05,499 This body dies 1288 01:35:05,617 --> 01:35:07,668 and the cells recreate a new one. 1289 01:35:09,204 --> 01:35:11,380 And what if you use your adult cells? 1290 01:35:11,498 --> 01:35:13,841 Then... 1291 01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:17,678 then I'd look exactly the same, just pregnant, 1292 01:35:17,796 --> 01:35:20,139 and that would be horrifying. 1293 01:35:20,256 --> 01:35:22,015 How much time do you have left? 1294 01:35:22,133 --> 01:35:26,019 Until the equinox. Sunrise, probably. 1295 01:35:26,137 --> 01:35:28,397 Your body knows when winter ends? 1296 01:35:28,515 --> 01:35:30,357 When I was little, time was measured differently, 1297 01:35:30,475 --> 01:35:33,777 so all that bullshit with sun gods and whatever, it never... 1298 01:35:33,895 --> 01:35:37,990 Cool, well, if you stay with me... 1299 01:35:39,484 --> 01:35:42,536 I'll give something up, too. 1300 01:35:42,654 --> 01:35:44,580 Smoking. 1301 01:35:47,325 --> 01:35:49,460 We'll both end up like these guys. 1302 01:35:49,577 --> 01:35:53,338 Yeah, in, like, 50 years! Come on! 1303 01:35:53,456 --> 01:35:57,050 So you would be giving up life to become a father? 1304 01:35:57,168 --> 01:36:00,429 I'm an illegal immigrant olive farmer. New frontiers. 1305 01:36:00,547 --> 01:36:03,223 So you want to spend the rest of your life with me? 1306 01:36:04,926 --> 01:36:07,019 Yeah. 1307 01:36:07,137 --> 01:36:10,397 I think you're rushing dating 1308 01:36:10,515 --> 01:36:12,816 and death and fatherhood. 1309 01:36:15,019 --> 01:36:17,404 Well, how do you choose to use your adult cells? 1310 01:36:17,522 --> 01:36:20,407 - Or your embryonic... - Oh, wow, look at this guy! 1311 01:36:20,525 --> 01:36:22,993 Whoo! 1312 01:36:23,111 --> 01:36:25,162 How do you choose? 1313 01:36:28,116 --> 01:36:29,917 I don't. 1314 01:36:30,034 --> 01:36:32,794 My... my body chooses. 1315 01:36:32,912 --> 01:36:34,671 Well, how does your body choose? 1316 01:36:37,750 --> 01:36:39,468 Oxytocin. 1317 01:36:39,586 --> 01:36:41,887 I'm totally lost again. 1318 01:36:44,549 --> 01:36:48,685 It's the hormone that makes women fall in love and get maternal. 1319 01:36:48,803 --> 01:36:51,146 And if it were high enough, 1320 01:36:51,264 --> 01:36:54,608 survival reaction blocks the embryonic cells 1321 01:36:54,726 --> 01:36:57,110 and defaults into my adult stem cells. 1322 01:36:58,605 --> 01:37:00,614 You know that? 1323 01:37:00,732 --> 01:37:03,283 I mean I don't, but I'm not sure. 1324 01:37:03,401 --> 01:37:06,787 But I can show you the origin of the theory. 1325 01:37:08,823 --> 01:37:11,792 You're still not in love with me? 1326 01:37:34,766 --> 01:37:37,317 Last syringe. 1327 01:37:37,435 --> 01:37:39,152 You still want this? 1328 01:37:47,779 --> 01:37:50,539 Okay. 1329 01:37:50,657 --> 01:37:54,543 I... I want to show you where I grew up. 1330 01:38:09,217 --> 01:38:11,560 So if you love me, 1331 01:38:11,678 --> 01:38:15,355 then there's this hormone and you'll stay the same? 1332 01:38:15,473 --> 01:38:17,524 In theory, yeah. 1333 01:38:17,642 --> 01:38:21,737 But neither of us has much control over it 1334 01:38:21,854 --> 01:38:25,490 and how would I even know? 1335 01:38:27,652 --> 01:38:31,163 I know I'm in love with you. 1336 01:38:31,281 --> 01:38:33,165 You know that? 1337 01:38:33,283 --> 01:38:35,709 Yes. 1338 01:38:35,827 --> 01:38:40,380 So it seems like you should know if you love me or not. 1339 01:38:40,498 --> 01:38:45,719 So you never lusted for someone before and then it passed? 1340 01:38:59,017 --> 01:39:02,069 So you've never been in love before? 1341 01:39:02,186 --> 01:39:05,030 I guess not. 1342 01:39:05,148 --> 01:39:07,741 - Not in thousands of years? - I am not a sociopath, okay? 1343 01:39:07,859 --> 01:39:10,410 I just have really bad luck. 1344 01:39:16,326 --> 01:39:17,751 - Bad luck. - I got it. 1345 01:39:17,869 --> 01:39:19,836 Okay. 1346 01:39:24,375 --> 01:39:26,426 You probably know the entire city 1347 01:39:26,544 --> 01:39:29,262 was buried by the volcano you see there in the distance. 1348 01:39:29,380 --> 01:39:32,057 Buried in ash and pumice perfectly preserved 1349 01:39:32,175 --> 01:39:34,851 and was rediscovered and dug up centuries later. 1350 01:39:34,969 --> 01:39:36,895 And if you look to your left, you'll see an example 1351 01:39:37,013 --> 01:39:38,772 of one of the earliest "Beware of Dog" signs. 1352 01:39:38,890 --> 01:39:40,899 Are you sure there's no security here? 1353 01:39:41,017 --> 01:39:43,860 No, but, Evan, I feel like you don't want to see my home town. 1354 01:39:45,605 --> 01:39:47,823 - What the fuck? - Yup. 1355 01:39:47,940 --> 01:39:50,784 When excavators came across chambers shaped like human... 1356 01:39:50,902 --> 01:39:52,869 Ev... Evan, no! 1357 01:39:52,987 --> 01:39:55,122 - No, come back. - Was that a real dog? 1358 01:39:55,239 --> 01:39:57,124 What are you doing? 1359 01:39:57,241 --> 01:40:00,919 They injected plaster into them and that's what you get. 1360 01:40:01,037 --> 01:40:04,589 And here we have the whorehouse. I've never been there. 1361 01:40:04,707 --> 01:40:06,842 But I've been to the bakery you see to your right 1362 01:40:06,959 --> 01:40:09,636 and to the bar here on the corner. 1363 01:40:09,754 --> 01:40:11,638 And... 1364 01:40:11,756 --> 01:40:13,390 What? 1365 01:40:15,301 --> 01:40:18,311 I want to show you my family now. 1366 01:40:20,098 --> 01:40:22,357 Okay, that's weird. 1367 01:40:22,475 --> 01:40:25,610 I didn't know their tombs were here, but... 1368 01:40:25,728 --> 01:40:28,989 So this is my father, 1369 01:40:29,107 --> 01:40:32,159 my mother, and my little brother. 1370 01:40:34,404 --> 01:40:36,705 How did you get away in time? 1371 01:40:36,823 --> 01:40:39,833 - I didn't. - Then how did you get out? 1372 01:40:39,951 --> 01:40:43,003 You really want to know? 1373 01:40:45,248 --> 01:40:48,425 It's 2,000 years ago, so I'm doing fine. 1374 01:40:48,543 --> 01:40:51,553 My pain threshold is still built for birthing, 1375 01:40:51,671 --> 01:40:53,847 so lava is fine. 1376 01:40:55,758 --> 01:40:58,393 My oxytocin case study? 1377 01:40:58,511 --> 01:41:00,771 I got it from her. 1378 01:41:00,888 --> 01:41:04,191 It's hereditary. 1379 01:41:04,308 --> 01:41:07,319 She gave it all up for me and my father. 1380 01:41:09,981 --> 01:41:13,366 I don't want to die and I don't want to watch anyone die. 1381 01:41:17,155 --> 01:41:19,831 Well, at least you got the same backstory as Harry Potter. 1382 01:41:19,949 --> 01:41:22,209 That's pretty cool. 1383 01:41:22,326 --> 01:41:25,378 Can I say something in absolute sincerity? 1384 01:41:27,081 --> 01:41:29,800 I'm gonna miss the hell out of you. 1385 01:41:29,917 --> 01:41:32,552 Like, it's gonna fucking hurt, bad. 1386 01:41:35,131 --> 01:41:39,309 Your perfect male fantasy just shattered. 1387 01:41:39,427 --> 01:41:41,728 A younger wife and a sugar mama. 1388 01:41:45,516 --> 01:41:48,902 Yeah, you forgot the incest part. I mean, I'm an open-minded guy, 1389 01:41:49,020 --> 01:41:51,780 but I probably wouldn't want that. 1390 01:41:51,898 --> 01:41:54,324 That's the Temple of Apollo sundial. 1391 01:41:54,442 --> 01:41:56,243 - This? - No, no, no. 1392 01:41:57,862 --> 01:41:59,955 After we borrowed him from the ancient Greeks, 1393 01:42:00,072 --> 01:42:01,873 he was replaced by Jesus, 1394 01:42:01,991 --> 01:42:04,417 and now we don't know who the old clock belongs to. 1395 01:42:06,704 --> 01:42:09,965 Um, one last thing you should know. 1396 01:42:12,001 --> 01:42:17,389 Right before I transform, if I transform... 1397 01:42:17,507 --> 01:42:19,766 that monster 1398 01:42:19,884 --> 01:42:23,103 is gonna be the biggest and sharpest. 1399 01:42:25,181 --> 01:42:27,899 How big? 1400 01:42:28,017 --> 01:42:30,026 Just run. 1401 01:42:30,144 --> 01:42:32,112 Really fast. 1402 01:42:36,880 --> 01:42:39,118 We never got my clothes. 1403 01:42:40,112 --> 01:42:44,624 No. One of us says something about journey and destination. 1404 01:42:46,828 --> 01:42:49,963 Destinations are underrated? 1405 01:42:50,081 --> 01:42:53,091 You ever wonder what life is like in the finite? 1406 01:42:53,209 --> 01:42:56,052 Terrifying all the time, I'm sure. 1407 01:42:57,063 --> 01:42:59,008 I don't think so. 1408 01:43:00,550 --> 01:43:04,269 Even at my lowest, I'm still excited to use the time the best I can. 1409 01:43:04,387 --> 01:43:06,771 There's motivation to make every second count. 1410 01:43:10,643 --> 01:43:12,235 You never got lonely? 1411 01:43:14,939 --> 01:43:17,073 Not since I met you. 1412 01:43:17,191 --> 01:43:19,868 Doesn't it scare you losing that? 1413 01:43:32,999 --> 01:43:35,050 What are you doing? 1414 01:43:35,167 --> 01:43:37,802 Begging. 1415 01:43:37,920 --> 01:43:40,263 Go on, it's time. 1416 01:43:49,181 --> 01:43:52,692 Tell me more about the finite. 1417 01:44:01,193 --> 01:44:03,119 let's see, uh... 1418 01:44:03,237 --> 01:44:07,624 when you're sick, it makes you feel lucky 1419 01:44:07,742 --> 01:44:09,834 for all the times when you were healthy. 1420 01:44:12,163 --> 01:44:15,256 Uh, sunrises and sunsets... 1421 01:44:16,667 --> 01:44:20,011 some things are just beautiful no matter what 1422 01:44:20,129 --> 01:44:22,681 and a constant reminder that you only get so many. 1423 01:44:24,342 --> 01:44:27,727 So you better fucking enjoy 'em. 1424 01:44:31,515 --> 01:44:34,609 Some pizza and a bottle of wine with the right person 1425 01:44:34,727 --> 01:44:38,204 that can make the shittiest day better. 1426 01:44:39,466 --> 01:44:42,862 Coffee dates take up a pretty good chunk of your time, but... 1427 01:44:42,962 --> 01:44:44,810 but they're worth it. 1428 01:44:46,364 --> 01:44:50,250 I don't know, you can choose to work yourself to death, 1429 01:44:50,368 --> 01:44:54,546 but you could also throw all that work away 1430 01:44:54,664 --> 01:44:57,257 without regrets for the right person. 1431 01:44:59,251 --> 01:45:02,470 Maybe that's chemical, but it's also magic. 1432 01:45:05,216 --> 01:45:09,978 Uh, love comes around a couple times, if you're lucky. 1433 01:45:12,640 --> 01:45:15,525 Life probably seems short no matter what, but...