1 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,640 Wake up. 2 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,760 Wake up. 3 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,960 Tom... 4 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,200 Tom. 5 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,720 Why are you filming with my camera? 6 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,120 Don't you want to have this on your own camera? 7 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,280 Cut it out. Stop it! 8 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,800 Stop it! 9 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,520 Cut it out! 10 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,680 Give it to me. 11 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,120 Give it to me! 12 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:48,840 Alicia, you look lovely today. 13 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,200 Tom... 14 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,800 ...there's something that I have to say to you. 15 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,960 I think you're a horrible, useless person. 16 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,200 No one has ever hurt me as much as you have. 17 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,320 How To Stop A Wedding 18 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,640 Chapter 1 19 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:14,680 We welcome you on board this train from Malmö to Stockholm. 20 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,480 The estimated journey time is 5 hours and 17 minutes. 21 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,640 We wish you all a pleasant journey. 22 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,480 Excuse me! 23 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,800 Excuse me! 24 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:01,240 You're sitting in my seat. 25 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,640 I booked that seat. 26 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,200 I'll throw up if I travel backwards. 27 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:22,440 Well, that's why I booked it. 28 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,920 I have to sit facing forwards. 29 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,080 Have you seen my bag? 30 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,120 -No. -A bag that I... 31 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,320 Damn it! 32 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,720 Fuck! 33 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,880 So you didn't find your bag? 34 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,960 Obviously not! 35 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,640 What did you have in it? 36 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,000 Everything. 37 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:48,080 I had everything in the bag. 38 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,640 You can't have had everything in the bag. 39 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:00,080 You can't have had everything in the bag. 40 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:04,160 Did I not have everything in the bag? 41 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:08,200 Sometimes it's just as well to lose everything- 42 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,360 -and start all over from scratch. 43 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:19,400 What's important is what you've got left. 44 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,040 What have you got left? 45 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,920 What's that? 46 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:37,320 This is my guitar. I've got that left. 47 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,360 Why did you take it with you? 48 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,520 Because music is my life. 49 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,880 I won it in a quiz. 50 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,320 What type of quiz - a Music Quiz? 51 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,840 A Nature and Animals Quiz. 52 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,360 Strange prize... 53 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:10,320 ...or was it a consolation prize? 54 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:16,480 -Actually, it was 1st prize. -Congratulations. 55 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,360 What else have you got... 56 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:34,040 ...in that bag? 57 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:59,120 -A book. -What's it about? 58 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:05,360 It's about revenge. 59 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,080 A wedding invitation. 60 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:20,800 Is that another quiz prize? 61 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:32,320 I'm impressed. You need a lot of luck to win on those machines. 62 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,480 They were a present actually. 63 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,920 My name is Philip... 64 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,560 I'm going to throw up. 65 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,000 Chapter 2 66 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:24,120 Don't you have any more questions? 67 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,960 Yeah, sure... 68 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:43,120 If you got to choose between smelling like a wet dog every day- 69 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:48,600 -and walking like a crab for the rest of your life- 70 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:52,160 -which would you choose? 71 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,360 How does a crab walk? 72 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:01,560 You know, like a crab - sideways. 73 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,040 I don't know. 74 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,280 Sort of... 75 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,720 ...like this. 76 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,280 I don't think so. 77 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:25,040 Just as well you didn't get that question in the Animal Quiz. 78 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:29,200 So you would prefer to smell like a wet dog? 79 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:41,040 -You're well suited to being a crab. -Thanks. 80 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,800 Let's see what we've got here! 81 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,680 Oh dear... 82 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:34,080 Moisturizer for dry elbows. 83 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:39,280 -Do you have dry elbows? -No. 84 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:47,600 This is anti-ageing cream. 85 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,320 Hydrocortisone for rashes and stuff like that. 86 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:57,520 -A book. -What's it about? 87 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,280 Time travel. 88 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,320 Some vitamins and minerals... 89 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,600 ...good to take when it's cold and dark outside. 90 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:17,120 -Some other tablets. -What kind of tablets? 91 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,400 What kind of tablets? 92 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,600 It's heart medication. 93 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,120 What's wrong with your heart? 94 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:54,040 I had a heart attack when I was fourteen years old. 95 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:01,720 It's unusual. 96 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:06,800 We were having a presentation in school. 97 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:12,400 I had prepared for it and I was standing in front of the class. 98 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,480 Just as I was about to start- 99 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:20,040 -I felt a pain and collapsed. 100 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:29,280 I had to learn to write again - the fine motor skills were affected. 101 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:35,320 I had to give up football and start playing chess instead. 102 00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:44,400 But I'm fine now. I just take one every day. 103 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,440 Hello! 104 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,880 Hi, I'm on the train. 105 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,720 Good, how are you? 106 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:22,800 I forgot my bag on the platform. I've got nothing to wear. 107 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,640 Have you got anything that I can borrow? 108 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,440 I'm just joking. 109 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,040 No, everything is fine. 110 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,840 I know. 111 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,880 No, I... 112 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,040 I promise not to flash my breasts in church. 113 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,040 I'll be silent as a mouse. 114 00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:56,600 OK, good luck! 115 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,720 Bye. 116 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:21,400 I'm going to a wedding too. 117 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:25,080 I shouldn't even be going to this wedding. 118 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,920 I'm not even invited. 119 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:53,560 -Amanda, my name is Amanda. -Hi! 120 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:11,120 Chapter 3 121 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:28,120 So you're that guy then? 122 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,480 What guy? 123 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,920 When the priest asks if anyone has objections- 124 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:37,280 -you come storming into the church. 125 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:42,160 Maybe not quite like that. 126 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:52,240 That girl... What's her name? Alicia. 127 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,920 How did you meet her? 128 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:04,040 I met her in Prague one weekend last summer. 129 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,760 -Were you there with her? -No. 130 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,240 I was there on business. 131 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:19,280 I travel to the same place every year to do the same boring things. 132 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:27,000 There was a knock on my hotel room door the first night. 133 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,520 There she was, Alicia. 134 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,400 She was beaming! 135 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:41,680 She had a hamster in her hand and asked if it was mine. 136 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,840 A hamster? 137 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,680 Someone had left a fucking Czech hamster- 138 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:52,160 -in the corridor between our rooms. How often does that happen? 139 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,360 What did it look like? 140 00:22:55,320 --> 00:23:01,840 Well, it was brown and white. It was quite ugly. 141 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:08,120 We tried to figure out who would take care of it. 142 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:13,880 Eventually we agreed on joint custody. 143 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:19,000 I would care for it the first day and she came for it the next day. 144 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:24,840 The following day she came by my room- 145 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,520 -and we discussed what we would call it. 146 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,360 What did you call it? 147 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,160 Franz. 148 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,040 You know...Kafka. 149 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:52,160 We just sat there talking and... 150 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:57,160 And you fell head over heels for her? 151 00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,640 Yes. 152 00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:05,000 We kissed and then we spent the whole weekend together. 153 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,480 What was she like? 154 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:20,200 I'm not sure if I can describe her without sounding cliché. 155 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:26,840 It was as if she got the whole world to revolve around her. 156 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:34,040 When we went out to eat we were given a really nice table. 157 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:40,400 When we walked along the street people noticed us and... 158 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:47,080 It was really fantastic. I've never experienced anything like it. 159 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:55,280 Did she mention what she was going to do when she came home... 160 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,280 ...if there was anyone waiting for her? 161 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,480 No, she didn't. 162 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:15,000 How does anyone fall head over heels in love like that? 163 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,600 What's it all about? 164 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:24,200 -Well... -Is it her "angel hair"? 165 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:28,600 Is it her big eyes? 166 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:36,720 Is it the polka dot dresses or some kind of fantasy? 167 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,400 Maybe it's the cupcake earrings! 168 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:48,440 Damn it! 169 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,080 -What are you doing? -You know her! 170 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:07,800 -Here you are, interrogating me! -I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. 171 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,800 -You know everything now. -I'm sorry. 172 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:19,520 Who knows, you might call her and ruin everything? 173 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,120 I'm not going to do that. 174 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:32,040 -What are you doing? -Go ahead and call her. 175 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,400 I'm not going to call her. 176 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,840 Call her. I'll get off at the next station. 177 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:44,760 -I'm not going to call her! -Why not? 178 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:49,760 -I'm not going to call her. -Why not? 179 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:56,120 We're now approaching Alvesta. Next stop, Alvesta. 180 00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:00,280 I'm not going to call her because... 181 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:06,280 ...no one will be happier than I if those two don't marry. 182 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,640 Chapter 4 183 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:38,680 How come you're invited? 184 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:43,560 Because they felt guilty- 185 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:48,040 -and because they probably thought that I wouldn't come. 186 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,160 But now they know that you're coming... 187 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:58,600 ....so it could be an exciting wedding. 188 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,600 Yes, it could be... 189 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:12,720 ...especially after you stopped the whole wedding. 190 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,880 How are you going to go about it? 191 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,680 I'm not sure that I want to... 192 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,320 Go on, tell me! 193 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,920 You'll just have to wait and see it live! 194 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:38,960 If you don't tell me, I'm going to call her. 195 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,720 Why would you do that? 196 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:51,720 I'm doing the job for you. 197 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:56,800 I don't know that. I don't know what you're going to do. 198 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,600 OK! 199 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,080 I've got a brilliant idea. 200 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:16,280 I was inspired by a film... 201 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,640 ...and not just any film! 202 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,960 Love Actually, I'm sure you've seen it... 203 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,760 Maybe I've seen a quarter of it. 204 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:33,120 -How could you turn it off? -I wasn't impressed. 205 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:39,040 OK, well everyone except you has seen it. 206 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:45,880 There's a scene where the guy arrives at the girl's house. 207 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,960 It's Christmas Eve. He rings the doorbell. 208 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,960 She opens the door. 209 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,680 It's Keira Knightly. 210 00:30:56,480 --> 00:31:01,240 Alicia looks like her. 211 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:09,560 He tells her not to speak because her husband is inside the house. 212 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,560 He puts on a tape with Christmas carols- 213 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,880 -to make it sound like there are carol singers at the door. 214 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,240 And then he takes out... 215 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,960 I'm sorry, I promise I won't say anything! 216 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,040 This is great! 217 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:47,880 I've travelled 1000 miles and thought about this for 100 days 218 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:56,960 Now I'm standing here and I have so much to give you 219 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:04,440 The first time I saw you my heartbeat felt so vital 220 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:15,880 The day my heart stops beating I want you by my side 221 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,880 Come with me 222 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:52,560 She's in love with an asshole! 223 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,320 She's marrying a jerk! 224 00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,480 She loves a jerks and assholes! 225 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:04,760 She doesn't care about your romantic "Hollywood cue cards". 226 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,880 -Don't you get it? -You're wrong. 227 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,680 She doesn't want you to love her for all eternity. 228 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,960 Try saying that her hair looks awful. 229 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,960 She likes that kind of thing. 230 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:28,680 She loves that kind of shit. 231 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:56,960 We're now approaching Norrköping. Next stop, Norrköping! 232 00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:04,880 This is not going to be the best day of their lives. 233 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,680 Chapter 5 234 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,840 -OK... -I think I should stand up. 235 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:47,560 OK. You know that it's your turn to make a speech. 236 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,640 You've gone to the ladies' room. 237 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:54,680 You're standing there, looking at yourself in the mirror. 238 00:34:54,840 --> 00:35:00,840 You can see that you're ready for this. 239 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:05,560 You're prepared. You want to do this. 240 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:09,560 You're confident. You have no regrets. 241 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:15,600 You realize that the time has come. 242 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:21,160 You go back to your seat. 243 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,360 The microphone is in place. 244 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:29,400 -Microphone? -You're nervous, but that's normal. 245 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,640 Take a deep breath. 246 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,640 Pick up the microphone and begin. 247 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,680 From the heart. 248 00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:57,640 Hi everyone! 249 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,560 Well, here I am- 250 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:08,640 -at the wedding between my friend- 251 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:18,240 -and the love of my life. 252 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,560 I shouldn't be standing here. 253 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,640 This is a really bad idea. 254 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:32,000 I spent 5 hours on a train today- 255 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,400 -with one thought on my mind: 256 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:40,600 To get off and go the other way, as far away as possible. 257 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,960 But... 258 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,640 Alicia... 259 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,560 ...you look lovely today. 260 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,640 Tom... 261 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,640 ...there's something that I have to say to you... 262 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,640 ...because I want you to know this. 263 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:32,560 I remember when we woke up at your place... 264 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:36,560 I remember one time when we woke up at your place. 265 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,560 You said that you didn't want me to leave. 266 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:43,640 So we played TV games all day... 267 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,560 ...and had sex on your couch. 268 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:57,640 It was the happiest time of my life. 269 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:07,560 I know that I shouldn't have set all my hopes on just one person- 270 00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:14,640 -especially when that person is not the kind to set your hopes upon. 271 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,640 But that's what I did. 272 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:27,560 When you've lost everything you had... 273 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:36,640 ...you really wish that you had some kind of backup. 274 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,640 I didn't have that. 275 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:46,560 And now I'm left with nothing. 276 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:54,560 I love you so much. 277 00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:59,640 No, I do not love you! 278 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:04,560 I think that you're a horrible person! 279 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:09,640 You're useless, mean and stupid! 280 00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:13,560 And I think that... 281 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:20,560 ...you're totally...terribly mean! 282 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:27,560 No one in my whole life has hurt me like you have... 283 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:35,560 ...but I never want to stop making love with you. 284 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:59,560 So I hope that you both understand- 285 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:06,560 -why I have to do what I'm going to do now. 286 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,640 You can stop filming. 287 00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,560 Damn! 288 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,560 Give me the phone. 289 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,640 Let's do yours now. 290 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,560 OK. 291 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:52,560 You might as well use a TV and show that bloody film! 292 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:59,640 Say something, just say something. 293 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,640 OK. 294 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:10,640 OK. Sit a little further away. 295 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,640 OK, where am I? 296 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:20,640 You're standing outside the church, behind a bush. 297 00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,640 You're freezing. 298 00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,640 Your feet are wet. 299 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:31,560 Your face is wet. 300 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:36,560 You look as if you've been crying. You look bloody awful! 301 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,560 You feel really worthless. 302 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:46,320 You have no confidence. 303 00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:49,040 You're really nervous... 304 00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,560 ...but you head in the direction of the church anyway- 305 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:58,640 -because you realize that if you don't, they'll get married. 306 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,640 You hate yourself... 307 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:09,560 ...but you open the doors, go in and make a fool of yourself forever. 308 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:15,560 Hi, hello! 309 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:20,560 I'm sure you're all wondering who the hell I am. 310 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:26,560 There's only one person here who knows who I am... 311 00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,640 ...well, two! 312 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,560 And... 313 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:37,560 ...actually I had planned on bringing a TV to show you a film. 314 00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:42,560 A very romantic Christmas Day kind of film that everyone loves- 315 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,560 -and that's nice. 316 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:51,560 I was thinking that this might turn out like it does in the film- 317 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:55,560 -because it turned out well for everyone. 318 00:42:55,640 --> 00:43:00,560 I hoped it would all turn out well for me and for us. 319 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:04,560 I would hold up "cue cards"- 320 00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:09,640 -and you would fall in love with me again...or still. 321 00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:17,640 Maybe we would very romantically- 322 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,640 -ride off on a white horse or something. 323 00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:26,640 But I'm not sure it's going to turn out that way. 324 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:33,560 On the train here, I met a person who... 325 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,560 ...made me understand that... 326 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:42,560 ...things don't always turn out like they do in films- 327 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:46,560 -but she'll never know if she haven't seen it! 328 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:58,560 Actually, it should be enough to come here today. 329 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,560 That our eyes met... 330 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,640 ...and that said everything. 331 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:10,560 Does anyone have any objections? Yes, I do. 332 00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:14,640 I feel stupid, false. 333 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:21,560 I don't know, what do you say? 334 00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:27,640 You choose, shall we? Come with me. 335 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:34,560 Yeah, something like that! 336 00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:12,320 Chapter 6 337 00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:34,120 Hang on, I've got a song! 338 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:37,040 Say it, I know them all. 339 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,120 I don't know the name of it. 340 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,120 I'll sing it for you. 341 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,120 It goes like this... 342 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:55,040 Hang on... 343 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:11,040 Yes! No, haven't got a clue. 344 00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:14,120 -What's the name of the song? -No idea! 345 00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,120 -Damn! -I'm sorry. 346 00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:21,120 OK, the chorus goes like this... 347 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,120 How does it go again? 348 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:38,040 When I was seven years old, I think I was seven at the time. 349 00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:45,120 My grandparents had a summer house in Italy. 350 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:51,040 I was there for the whole summer - like 10 weeks. 351 00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:56,040 I'm not sure where my parents were, maybe travelling somewhere. 352 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:03,040 I was so fucking bored. 353 00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:07,120 I was the only one there under the age of 70. 354 00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:11,040 It was so bloody hot. 355 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:16,040 Hot and sticky and... 356 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:20,120 Everything seemed to be set in slow motion. 357 00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:25,040 I just wanted to speed things up! 358 00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:32,040 The beach was a long way off and there was nothing to do. 359 00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,040 So one day after lunch- 360 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:43,120 -I went to a house nearby, a neighbour's house. 361 00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:47,120 There was an old man living there. 362 00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:53,040 I was just walking past his house after lunch. 363 00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,040 He was playing a song. 364 00:47:56,040 --> 00:48:00,120 The music was fantastic, really great! 365 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,040 I was like... 366 00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:09,040 ...it was the best music I'd ever heard in my whole life. 367 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,040 It was really great. 368 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:16,040 It went like this... 369 00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:23,040 It had this really cool "whack". 370 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:28,040 I went over there every day after lunch. 371 00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,120 He always played the same song. 372 00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:33,040 Every day. 373 00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:36,040 No other tune, just that same one. 374 00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:40,040 Some old guy lived there, I'm not sure... 375 00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:46,040 Anyway, I went over there every day and I practised... 376 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:50,040 ...a sort of "whack" dance. 377 00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:58,040 What do you mean by "whack"? I don't get it. 378 00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:03,120 -What do you mean? -You know - "whack". 379 00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:06,120 I don't know what you mean. 380 00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:09,120 I've no idea what you mean! 381 00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,040 A bit like a crab! 382 00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:35,120 Anyway, one day when I went over there- 383 00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:39,040 -he wasn't playing the tune. 384 00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:45,040 The following day when I went over there again- 385 00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:50,120 -six men in black suits came out of the house. 386 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:54,040 They were carrying a coffin. 387 00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,120 They put it into a big black car. 388 00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,040 But it wasn't sad because... 389 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:10,040 ...the road was really rough and bumpy. 390 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:13,040 When the car drove off- 391 00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:19,040 -it made a sort of "whack" dance. 392 00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:23,040 It was like... 393 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,120 Do you still dance? 394 00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,120 Don't you dance? 395 00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:05,120 If you got to choose between... 396 00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:12,040 Press play when I say "play". 397 00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:20,040 Play. 398 00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:06,920 Chapter 7 399 00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:42,680 Ladies and gentleman... 400 00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,680 ...we're approaching our next stop - Södertälje. 401 00:56:11,240 --> 00:56:15,240 We're awaiting an oncoming train and the signal to pass. 402 00:56:15,240 --> 00:56:18,240 We will continue very shortly. 403 00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:38,600 What's your name again? 404 00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:41,040 Philip... 405 00:56:42,240 --> 00:56:45,600 And you're Amanda.... 406 00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:13,680 -You can actually lock this door. -We should have thought of that. 407 00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:03,440 Wait, sit up. 408 00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:45,240 Where the hell are we? 409 01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:05,640 Ladies and gentlemen, we've finally arrived in Stockholm... 410 01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:07,960 ...our last destination for today. 411 01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:10,520 We hope that you've had a pleasant journey. 412 01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:12,560 Thank you for traveling with us. 413 01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,760 Next stop, Stockholm Central Station! 414 01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:27,280 Chapter 8 415 01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:52,200 -Good luck then. -Thank you, I wish you the same. 416 01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:16,400 How To Stop A Wedding 417 01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:45,480 Shot in five hours on a train from Malmö to Stockholm