1
00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:07,558
Hello?

2
00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:15,016
You've had an accident.

3
00:06:16,851 --> 00:06:18,476
You need an ambulance.

4
00:06:18,476 --> 00:06:21,601
I'll call for one.
I'll be right back.

5
00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:24,935
- Lie still here.
- No.

6
00:06:24,935 --> 00:06:26,601
No.

7
00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:28,893
No what?

8
00:06:28,893 --> 00:06:31,269
I don't need an ambulance.

9
00:06:31,269 --> 00:06:33,352
I can clearly see you do.

10
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:36,434
I'll call for one.

11
00:06:36,434 --> 00:06:38,143
In that case,
I'll be up and gone

12
00:06:38,143 --> 00:06:40,599
before you have time
to come back.

13
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:44,726
That will hurt.

14
00:06:44,726 --> 00:06:48,641
That's possible.
But it doesn't matter to me.

15
00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:55,766
I assume you don't want me
to call the police either.

16
00:06:57,060 --> 00:06:59,933
Yes, that's exactly right.

17
00:07:05,351 --> 00:07:07,641
Is there anything you want?

18
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:20,016
I'd like a cup of tea
with some milk.

19
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:25,058
Well...

20
00:07:26,185 --> 00:07:30,060
You have to come with me.

21
00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,641
I don't serve tea in the street.

22
00:07:35,685 --> 00:07:37,558
Can you walk?

23
00:07:38,351 --> 00:07:39,641
Yeah.

24
00:07:42,268 --> 00:07:44,558
I've even bought a cake.

25
00:07:50,476 --> 00:07:52,266
Here's a pajama.

26
00:07:53,893 --> 00:07:55,018
Thank you.

27
00:07:55,018 --> 00:07:57,309
I've made up the bed for you.

28
00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:59,349
With clean sheets.

29
00:08:17,309 --> 00:08:19,766
- Sorry.
- That's okay.

30
00:08:22,142 --> 00:08:24,016
There.

31
00:08:32,518 --> 00:08:36,182
- I'll wash your clothes.
- Not my coat.

32
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,726
It smells rather badly.

33
00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:41,516
It's my coat.

34
00:08:42,268 --> 00:08:44,266
The smell won't come off anyway.

35
00:08:45,518 --> 00:08:47,140
It's your coat.

36
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,641
- Do you take sugar?
- No, thank you.

37
00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:58,140
There you go.

38
00:08:59,893 --> 00:09:01,683
Thank you.

39
00:09:07,726 --> 00:09:09,307
So what happened?

40
00:09:10,309 --> 00:09:12,057
Were you robbed?

41
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,307
It's my own fault.

42
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,974
I'm just a bad human being.

43
00:09:23,351 --> 00:09:25,685
I've never met
a bad human being.

44
00:09:25,685 --> 00:09:27,182
Well, you have now.

45
00:09:29,643 --> 00:09:32,351
Do you want to talk about it?

46
00:09:32,351 --> 00:09:34,266
You wouldn't understand.

47
00:09:37,101 --> 00:09:38,516
Well, try me.

48
00:09:41,142 --> 00:09:43,307
But I wouldn't know where to start.

49
00:09:53,142 --> 00:09:56,934
Why is that ridiculous
fishhook hanging there?

50
00:09:56,934 --> 00:09:59,184
That's a fly.

51
00:09:59,184 --> 00:10:02,685
I caught a fish with it once,
a rather big one.

52
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,558
Strangely enough.

53
00:10:07,892 --> 00:10:10,309
Fly fishing
is about tying feathers

54
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:12,182
and other things to a hook

55
00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:16,393
so it resembles something
the fish likes to eat.

56
00:10:16,393 --> 00:10:19,518
And then because
the fly is very light,

57
00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:22,057
you have to have a line
that is heavy.

58
00:10:22,976 --> 00:10:25,349
It creates the velocity
when you cast.

59
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:40,349
- You fish a lot?
- Well, some.

60
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,641
But I don't catch much.

61
00:10:44,976 --> 00:10:47,848
The locals catch a lot more.

62
00:10:48,892 --> 00:10:51,976
When I was young, I...
I had a book I...

63
00:10:51,976 --> 00:10:53,474
I worshipped.

64
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:02,142
It was an old book
by Izaak Walton

65
00:11:02,142 --> 00:11:03,641
called "The Complete Angler."

66
00:11:07,393 --> 00:11:10,391
It was like a romantic
nature bible to me.

67
00:11:21,476 --> 00:11:24,474
Maybe I know where to start.

68
00:11:28,017 --> 00:11:31,184
But if you're to understand, I'll...

69
00:11:31,184 --> 00:11:34,184
I'll have to tell you
the whole story.

70
00:11:34,184 --> 00:11:36,057
And it'll be long.

71
00:11:37,684 --> 00:11:40,099
Long is good.

72
00:11:41,142 --> 00:11:44,015
And moral, I'm afraid.

73
00:11:55,184 --> 00:11:57,226
To begin with the bait,

74
00:11:57,226 --> 00:12:00,182
I discovered my cunt
as a two-year-old.

75
00:12:00,809 --> 00:12:03,723
"Cunt" is a very strong word.

76
00:12:04,309 --> 00:12:07,268
Let's call it
"Pandora's Box" then.

77
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:11,351
Um... No, no, no.
"Cunt" is better.

78
00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:14,850
So, I was a nymphomaniac.

79
00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:17,476
Wait a moment, no.
Nobody can be a nymphomaniac

80
00:12:17,476 --> 00:12:19,101
when they're only two years old.

81
00:12:19,101 --> 00:12:20,725
I don't think even the strictest God

82
00:12:20,725 --> 00:12:24,349
would see anything else
than a child's normal behavior.

83
00:12:25,059 --> 00:12:27,517
What about fetuses?
It's common knowledge

84
00:12:27,517 --> 00:12:30,557
that fetuses often touch
their genital organs.

85
00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:34,057
Can a fetus somehow be sinful?

86
00:12:35,268 --> 00:12:37,142
Why not?

87
00:12:37,142 --> 00:12:39,475
Not according to any religion I know,

88
00:12:39,475 --> 00:12:42,101
unless it's an original sin.

89
00:12:42,101 --> 00:12:43,473
Ancestral.

90
00:12:46,184 --> 00:12:49,848
Or perhaps according to a religion
that doesn't exist yet.

91
00:12:50,475 --> 00:12:54,101
According to a god that hasn't
yet manifested himself.

92
00:12:54,101 --> 00:12:56,473
But then you can imagine anything.

93
00:13:01,475 --> 00:13:04,892
At an early age,
I was mechanically inclined.

94
00:13:04,892 --> 00:13:09,682
Kinetic energy, for example,
has always fascinated me.

95
00:13:10,392 --> 00:13:13,892
And my friend,
let's call her "B,"

96
00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:16,057
always came up with the ideas.

97
00:13:17,725 --> 00:13:21,140
Playing frogs was one
of B's classics.

98
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,308
Joe, are you all right?

99
00:13:47,308 --> 00:13:49,182
Just a moment.

100
00:13:51,433 --> 00:13:52,765
Are you done?

101
00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:06,057
For Christ's sakes,
leave them alone.

102
00:14:07,184 --> 00:14:09,475
I loved my father very much.

103
00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:10,848
He was a doctor.

104
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,350
My mother's name was Katherine.

105
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,390
My father called her Kay.

106
00:14:18,142 --> 00:14:21,723
I suppose she was what
you'd call "a cold bitch."

107
00:14:22,559 --> 00:14:26,433
She always had her back turned
when she played solitaire.

108
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,223
I hated solitaire.

109
00:14:34,809 --> 00:14:37,767
When we had P.E.,
I'd climb up into the ropes

110
00:14:37,767 --> 00:14:42,139
and hang there for ages
with the rope between my legs.

111
00:14:42,976 --> 00:14:45,809
"The Sensation" we called it.

112
00:14:45,809 --> 00:14:50,015
I remember very distinctly
this word, "sensation."

113
00:14:56,308 --> 00:15:00,308
Perhaps the only difference
between me and other people

114
00:15:00,308 --> 00:15:04,098
was that I've always demanded
more from the sunset.

115
00:15:04,934 --> 00:15:09,765
More spectacular colors
when the sun hit the horizon.

116
00:15:12,225 --> 00:15:14,181
That's perhaps my only sin.

117
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:20,223
Why are you insisting
that children are sinful?

118
00:15:21,183 --> 00:15:22,892
Not children.

119
00:15:22,892 --> 00:15:23,807
Me.

120
00:15:25,559 --> 00:15:27,181
I don't see sin anywhere.

121
00:15:27,684 --> 00:15:29,809
But then I'm not religious.

122
00:15:29,809 --> 00:15:32,892
Well, that's because you don't
know the rest of the story.

123
00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:35,014
And by the way,
I'm not religious either.

124
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,475
Why would you take the most
unsympathetic aspect

125
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:41,890
of religion such as
the concept of sin...

126
00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:45,515
and let it survive beyond religion?

127
00:15:49,267 --> 00:15:51,807
I don't understand this self-hatred.

128
00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:54,267
Well, that's what I said.

129
00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:56,723
- You wouldn't understand.
- No, I'm...

130
00:15:58,016 --> 00:15:59,682
I'm sorry, I'll shut up.

131
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,098
Please continue.

132
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:21,014
Nervus... pudendus.

133
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:30,098
Nervus dorsalis clitoridis.

134
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,600
When the ash tree was created,

135
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,306
it made all the other trees
in the forest jealous.

136
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,764
It was the most beautiful tree.

137
00:17:28,891 --> 00:17:31,014
You couldn't say
anything bad about it.

138
00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:36,058
It was the World Tree
in Norse mythology.

139
00:17:36,058 --> 00:17:38,808
Remember, Odin...

140
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,267
He hung from the ash tree,
Yggdrasil, for nine days

141
00:17:42,267 --> 00:17:43,973
in order to gain insight.

142
00:17:46,475 --> 00:17:48,639
The ash tree had
the strongest wood.

143
00:17:54,016 --> 00:17:55,931
Then in the winter...

144
00:17:58,058 --> 00:18:00,473
when the ash tree
lost all of its leaves...

145
00:18:03,641 --> 00:18:06,308
all the trees noticed
its black buds,

146
00:18:06,308 --> 00:18:08,141
and started laughing.

147
00:18:08,141 --> 00:18:10,225
"Oh, look.

148
00:18:10,225 --> 00:18:14,014
The ash tree has had
its fingers in the ashes."

149
00:18:16,766 --> 00:18:17,889
See?

150
00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:21,933
You can always tell
the ash tree in winter

151
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:23,014
by the black buds.

152
00:18:34,141 --> 00:18:35,514
Now...

153
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:40,183
Now this is a lime tree leaf.

154
00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:43,475
- Remember?
- I forgot about the lime tree.

155
00:18:43,475 --> 00:18:45,597
I've told you 100 times.

156
00:18:46,141 --> 00:18:49,100
My dad loved
telling me about the trees,

157
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,599
and their leaves,
and considered it

158
00:18:51,599 --> 00:18:53,514
part of a good education.

159
00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:58,683
He especially loved the childish
educational stories he told

160
00:18:58,683 --> 00:19:01,472
to help me remember
what I had learned.

161
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,183
I knew how much he loved
telling those stories.

162
00:19:05,183 --> 00:19:08,472
Sometimes I pretended
I'd forgotten them.

163
00:19:10,558 --> 00:19:14,223
Originally, the lime
tree's leaves were round.

164
00:19:15,891 --> 00:19:17,933
A fox had her den
beneath its roots

165
00:19:17,933 --> 00:19:19,597
where she had four cubs.

166
00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:23,223
One day, she went out
looking for food for them.

167
00:19:23,808 --> 00:19:26,306
There was a hunt in the forest.
She was shot.

168
00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:30,348
Wounded, she crawled back to the den

169
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,639
where she and the four cubs died.

170
00:19:36,432 --> 00:19:38,597
This made the lime tree so sad.

171
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,597
And from then on,

172
00:19:41,141 --> 00:19:43,847
the lime tree decided to have...

173
00:19:45,349 --> 00:19:47,265
heart-shaped leaves.

174
00:19:49,058 --> 00:19:52,514
Oh, yes, that's right.
Heart-shaped.

175
00:19:58,307 --> 00:20:00,100
Am I boring you?

176
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,599
No, no. I'm just
looking forward

177
00:20:02,599 --> 00:20:05,225
to how you'll get fishing
weaved into your tale.

178
00:20:05,225 --> 00:20:09,307
You could start with the fly
on the wall there.

179
00:20:09,307 --> 00:20:11,014
It's called a nymph.

180
00:20:11,766 --> 00:20:13,766
It will tie in elegantly
with your discussion

181
00:20:13,766 --> 00:20:18,891
about nymphomania.
A nymph is an early stage

182
00:20:18,891 --> 00:20:20,722
in the life of an insect.

183
00:20:22,849 --> 00:20:25,181
As a quite young nymph,

184
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:29,181
it was imperative for me
to get rid of my virginity.

185
00:20:30,058 --> 00:20:31,222
Hopla.

186
00:20:32,016 --> 00:20:34,558
I kind of knew this boy, J,

187
00:20:34,558 --> 00:20:36,639
who had a moped.

188
00:20:37,349 --> 00:20:39,556
So in my eyes he was
rather sophisticated.

189
00:20:40,975 --> 00:20:42,641
I was 15,

190
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:45,349
and perhaps my girlish,
romantic expectations

191
00:20:45,349 --> 00:20:46,847
were a bit high.

192
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,681
But he had good, strong hands.

193
00:20:55,182 --> 00:20:56,764
I liked his hands.

194
00:21:03,683 --> 00:21:05,014
Hello?

195
00:21:05,891 --> 00:21:07,597
- Hi.
- Hi.

196
00:21:21,724 --> 00:21:24,847
If I asked you to take my virginity
would that be a problem?

197
00:21:27,099 --> 00:21:28,722
No, I don't see a problem.

198
00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:34,556
So, um...

199
00:21:37,057 --> 00:21:38,681
Where shall I go?

200
00:22:07,683 --> 00:22:09,556
It's the fucking carburetor.

201
00:22:11,724 --> 00:22:13,681
I just can't work it out,
you imagine that?

202
00:22:16,266 --> 00:22:18,724
- That's not very good.
- Hmm?

203
00:22:18,724 --> 00:22:20,808
- It's not very good.
- No, it bloody isn't.

204
00:22:20,808 --> 00:22:22,847
Ruins the whole idea
of having a moped.

205
00:22:26,349 --> 00:22:28,806
You should probably take off
your knickers, yeah?

206
00:23:13,932 --> 00:23:17,430
He shoved his cock
inside me and humped me three times.

207
00:23:26,015 --> 00:23:29,264
Then he turned
me over like a sack of potatoes.

208
00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:39,930
Then he humped me
five times in the ass.

209
00:24:47,099 --> 00:24:49,680
I never forgot those
two humiliating numbers.

210
00:24:52,015 --> 00:24:53,557
Three and five?

211
00:24:53,557 --> 00:24:55,138
Those are Fibonacci numbers.

212
00:24:59,391 --> 00:25:00,723
That may be.

213
00:25:00,723 --> 00:25:02,805
In any case, it hurt like hell.

214
00:25:03,432 --> 00:25:06,723
I swore I'd never sleep
with anyone again.

215
00:25:06,723 --> 00:25:10,055
But of course that only
lasted a short while.

216
00:25:10,557 --> 00:25:13,515
And now to get back
to your fishing.

217
00:25:13,515 --> 00:25:16,515
A couple of years later,

218
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,765
I was at my friend B's,

219
00:25:18,765 --> 00:25:21,432
and as always,
she had a new idea,

220
00:25:21,432 --> 00:25:24,932
financed by her younger
brother's piggy banks

221
00:25:24,932 --> 00:25:26,972
which she regularly emptied.

222
00:25:32,057 --> 00:25:34,389
We put on clothes later known as

223
00:25:35,099 --> 00:25:37,389
the "fuck me now" clothes.

224
00:25:38,431 --> 00:25:41,349
The idea was a competition.

225
00:25:41,349 --> 00:25:44,015
We were to go on a train trip.

226
00:25:44,015 --> 00:25:46,888
B said there was
no need for tickets.

227
00:25:47,848 --> 00:25:50,099
The one who would fuck
the most men

228
00:25:50,099 --> 00:25:52,431
when we reached the destination

229
00:25:52,431 --> 00:25:54,471
would win the chocolate sweets.

230
00:26:18,057 --> 00:26:19,513
May I interrupt here?

231
00:26:20,932 --> 00:26:23,680
What you were doing when you
walked down that corridor.

232
00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:25,763
You were reading the river.

233
00:26:39,224 --> 00:26:42,848
Most of the large
fish stay sheltered from the current

234
00:26:42,848 --> 00:26:45,222
to save energy,
and to hide from the prey.

235
00:26:46,265 --> 00:26:47,890
Where the fish hides in the stream

236
00:26:47,890 --> 00:26:50,013
entails a very
complicated hierarchy.

237
00:26:51,974 --> 00:26:55,515
The topography decides where
the most attractive places are,

238
00:26:55,515 --> 00:26:57,805
and the biggest fish
choose the best positions.

239
00:27:06,265 --> 00:27:08,057
What do I do?

240
00:27:08,057 --> 00:27:10,431
Smile and make eye contact.

241
00:27:10,431 --> 00:27:12,471
But what if it doesn't work?

242
00:27:12,974 --> 00:27:15,974
If you have to talk, remember
to ask lots of "wh" questions

243
00:27:15,974 --> 00:27:17,723
if you want more than
a yes or no answer.

244
00:27:17,723 --> 00:27:19,181
Then it'll just happen on its own.

245
00:27:19,181 --> 00:27:22,640
You just take them to the lavatory
and you have sex with them.

246
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,974
Oh. What if it's nasty?

247
00:27:25,974 --> 00:27:28,513
Then you just think of the bag
of chocolate sweeties.

248
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,846
What... What time is it?

249
00:28:06,181 --> 00:28:07,179
Ten.

250
00:28:22,223 --> 00:28:24,513
Where do you come from?

251
00:28:25,932 --> 00:28:27,304
From home.

252
00:28:34,807 --> 00:28:37,346
Who knows where
the lavatory is?

253
00:28:38,306 --> 00:28:40,890
Well, if you take a right,
you will arrive at a lavatory

254
00:28:40,890 --> 00:28:42,515
at the end of the car.

255
00:28:42,515 --> 00:28:45,640
At the same time it is
so cleverly arranged

256
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:50,348
that if you take a left turn you
will also arrive at a lavatory

257
00:28:50,348 --> 00:28:53,096
since at the end of the next car
there is also one.

258
00:29:12,390 --> 00:29:13,929
Let me show you
where the lavatory is.

259
00:29:45,806 --> 00:29:48,221
It turned out to be
shockingly easy.

260
00:29:49,014 --> 00:29:52,723
In no time,
B was ahead five to three.

261
00:29:52,723 --> 00:29:54,431
And it was exactly right.

262
00:29:54,431 --> 00:29:56,887
Look them in the eye and smile.

263
00:29:58,056 --> 00:30:00,473
But then suddenly, it stopped.

264
00:30:00,473 --> 00:30:03,762
That's a very clear parallel
to fishing in the stream.

265
00:30:04,598 --> 00:30:08,431
As it happens, either none
of the fish are feeding,

266
00:30:08,431 --> 00:30:10,139
or they all feed
at the same time.

267
00:30:10,139 --> 00:30:13,847
They go into feeding frenzy.
All bite.

268
00:30:13,847 --> 00:30:16,596
And then just as suddenly
as it started, it stops.

269
00:30:17,764 --> 00:30:21,931
It's observable, but it's
highly unpredictable.

270
00:30:21,931 --> 00:30:24,515
And it has to do with,
I don't know,

271
00:30:24,515 --> 00:30:27,390
weather, barometric pressure,

272
00:30:27,390 --> 00:30:32,931
maybe some fish psychology.
If that's possible.

273
00:30:32,931 --> 00:30:36,973
Anyway, the fish most readily bite
at the beginning of a light rain,

274
00:30:36,973 --> 00:30:39,515
and I think that's because
they feel safe

275
00:30:39,515 --> 00:30:41,722
when they swim in the stream.

276
00:30:41,722 --> 00:30:43,764
Because they can't be seen
from above.

277
00:30:43,764 --> 00:30:46,054
The water's surface is disturbed.

278
00:30:48,431 --> 00:30:50,557
But then it started again.

279
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,181
Although, a bit more slowly.

280
00:30:53,181 --> 00:30:55,931
Yeah. I think I know how.

281
00:30:55,931 --> 00:30:59,265
Because fly fishing can be
done in several phases.

282
00:30:59,265 --> 00:31:03,639
And if the fish stop biting,
you move on to phase two.

283
00:31:03,639 --> 00:31:07,098
And in phase two, you not
only imitate an insect,

284
00:31:07,098 --> 00:31:09,554
but an insect in trouble.

285
00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:12,556
You pull... You pull the line.

286
00:31:12,556 --> 00:31:16,722
You tug it irregularly,
so the fish gets the impression

287
00:31:16,722 --> 00:31:19,762
that it's dealing with
an injured and easy prey.

288
00:31:20,597 --> 00:31:25,014
And then helplessly, let the fly
float down the river again.

289
00:31:25,014 --> 00:31:28,762
Then half-heartedly,
make a few jumps forward again.

290
00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:34,512
It can be done... It can
be done very elegantly.

291
00:31:48,306 --> 00:31:49,388
Hey.

292
00:31:50,348 --> 00:31:51,554
Sorry.

293
00:31:52,472 --> 00:31:54,595
Nothing to feel sorry about.

294
00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:58,470
I'm just not feeling
very well today.

295
00:31:59,223 --> 00:32:01,054
What could be so bad?

296
00:32:02,139 --> 00:32:04,137
Oh, thank you.

297
00:32:05,973 --> 00:32:09,389
I can't talk about it right now.

298
00:32:09,389 --> 00:32:11,887
Can I just sit here
for awhile?

299
00:32:13,014 --> 00:32:14,971
Yeah. Sure.

300
00:32:20,597 --> 00:32:22,347
Is it better now?

301
00:32:22,347 --> 00:32:24,012
No.

302
00:32:35,681 --> 00:32:39,263
- Are you all right?
- It's Betty.

303
00:32:41,389 --> 00:32:43,472
I was just told
that she's very ill.

304
00:32:43,472 --> 00:32:46,387
Is Betty a close family member?

305
00:32:49,098 --> 00:32:51,514
You could say that.

306
00:32:51,514 --> 00:32:53,847
She's my dwarf hamster.

307
00:32:53,847 --> 00:32:57,639
Dwarf hamster?
You can't be serious.

308
00:32:57,639 --> 00:32:59,847
Well, what was I to do?

309
00:32:59,847 --> 00:33:03,639
And then, I did have a dwarf
hamster when I was young.

310
00:33:03,639 --> 00:33:05,806
That you were very close to?

311
00:33:05,806 --> 00:33:08,514
Not at all.
A bloody nuisance.

312
00:33:08,514 --> 00:33:11,428
Dwarf hamster?
That's not so bad.

313
00:33:13,181 --> 00:33:15,389
Would have been worse
if it were a person.

314
00:33:15,389 --> 00:33:17,514
Don't say that.

315
00:33:17,514 --> 00:33:20,764
I'm extremely fond of my hamster.

316
00:33:20,764 --> 00:33:25,181
Yes, I think that's a rather
cynical thing to say about Betty.

317
00:33:25,181 --> 00:33:29,305
Yes, I made the cage nice
and cozy for her when...

318
00:33:29,305 --> 00:33:31,679
- When I got her.
- I bet she liked that.

319
00:33:33,222 --> 00:33:34,512
Betty was excited.

320
00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:39,428
One of nature's
most meaningless creatures.

321
00:33:40,264 --> 00:33:42,764
You're aware that
the choice of a dwarf hamster

322
00:33:42,764 --> 00:33:46,264
possibly suggests certain
sexual connotations.

323
00:33:46,264 --> 00:33:47,681
I can see that now

324
00:33:47,681 --> 00:33:50,595
but it was really not
a conscious choice.

325
00:33:51,764 --> 00:33:55,180
How long does a dwarf hamster
actually live?

326
00:33:55,180 --> 00:33:57,262
Months, years?

327
00:33:58,138 --> 00:34:00,136
Its life is much too short.

328
00:34:08,056 --> 00:34:11,012
Would you show me
where the lavatory is?

329
00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:15,136
I... have to blow my nose.

330
00:34:34,347 --> 00:34:36,764
Just the same,
we were running out of subjects,

331
00:34:36,764 --> 00:34:39,472
and B was ahead on points,

332
00:34:39,472 --> 00:34:43,095
which led us to S's
first-class compartment.

333
00:34:47,556 --> 00:34:49,011
Tickets, please.

334
00:34:55,013 --> 00:34:57,345
Thank you. Ladies?

335
00:34:59,013 --> 00:35:00,011
Tickets.

336
00:35:10,597 --> 00:35:12,512
Well...

337
00:35:14,264 --> 00:35:16,305
I think I might have lost it.

338
00:35:16,305 --> 00:35:17,970
Perhaps.

339
00:35:19,389 --> 00:35:21,387
Drop yours as well, did you?

340
00:35:22,013 --> 00:35:25,345
I haven't bought a ticket
for your shitty train.

341
00:35:25,972 --> 00:35:28,097
It's so bloody slow,
we should have been

342
00:35:28,097 --> 00:35:29,972
at the end of the track
half an hour ago.

343
00:35:29,972 --> 00:35:32,845
Regardless of delays, you still
need a ticket, sweetheart.

344
00:35:33,639 --> 00:35:35,262
Eight pounds each, please.

345
00:35:37,389 --> 00:35:39,556
Ooh!

346
00:35:39,556 --> 00:35:42,681
I accidentally tore it up.

347
00:35:42,681 --> 00:35:45,178
Can't expect me to pay
for scraps of paper.

348
00:35:45,722 --> 00:35:48,055
- Have another one.
- Oh, great idea.

349
00:35:48,055 --> 00:35:50,764
Oh, that one's disappeared too.

350
00:35:50,764 --> 00:35:52,264
I can always just get the police

351
00:35:52,264 --> 00:35:54,430
to collect your payment
at the next station...

352
00:35:54,430 --> 00:35:56,972
Let's just take it easy here,
shall we?

353
00:35:56,972 --> 00:35:59,846
Apparently, the young ladies
have left without any money.

354
00:35:59,846 --> 00:36:01,805
If it's okay with you, I'd like
to pay for their tickets.

355
00:36:01,805 --> 00:36:04,764
No, sir, it's not.
Leave your money where it is.

356
00:36:04,764 --> 00:36:06,556
We'll let the police
deal with these two.

357
00:36:06,556 --> 00:36:08,264
We did have sort of an agreement

358
00:36:08,264 --> 00:36:10,262
that I was to pay.
I just forgot about it.

359
00:36:13,930 --> 00:36:17,805
I see. Two first-class tickets...

360
00:36:17,805 --> 00:36:20,262
for two first-class ladies.

361
00:36:21,930 --> 00:36:23,803
Enjoy the rest of your journey.

362
00:36:26,055 --> 00:36:27,719
Tickets, please.

363
00:36:36,222 --> 00:36:39,303
Now that you've been
so nice to us...

364
00:36:41,347 --> 00:36:43,930
we'd like to be nice to you, too.

365
00:36:43,930 --> 00:36:46,387
Oh, that's very kind of you,
but there's no need.

366
00:36:51,305 --> 00:36:52,595
I mean that.

367
00:36:56,888 --> 00:36:59,097
You have to split them up
into whether they have

368
00:36:59,097 --> 00:37:01,220
a goal and a mission or not.

369
00:37:02,347 --> 00:37:03,636
That one doesn't.

370
00:37:04,264 --> 00:37:06,262
Well, I've already lost anyway.

371
00:37:08,264 --> 00:37:11,886
I'm willing to give you
five extra points...

372
00:37:14,472 --> 00:37:16,719
if you can get that one in there.

373
00:37:19,138 --> 00:37:21,972
I decided,
perhaps a bit desperately,

374
00:37:21,972 --> 00:37:24,222
that the only thing
standing between me

375
00:37:24,222 --> 00:37:26,138
and the bag of chocolate sweets,

376
00:37:26,138 --> 00:37:30,596
was an unequivocal provocation
of this man.

377
00:37:30,596 --> 00:37:34,013
Excellent. An induced take.

378
00:37:34,013 --> 00:37:37,222
When all other attempts fail,
a dramatic provocation

379
00:37:37,222 --> 00:37:40,930
can get an otherwise completely
passive fish to bite.

380
00:37:40,930 --> 00:37:42,805
A salmon or a trout,
for example,

381
00:37:42,805 --> 00:37:45,389
eats itself fat
while in salt water,

382
00:37:45,389 --> 00:37:47,472
and then basically
has no need to eat

383
00:37:47,472 --> 00:37:51,347
as it makes its way upstream
to the spawning grounds.

384
00:37:51,347 --> 00:37:53,721
They're not hungry but they
will react instinctively

385
00:37:53,721 --> 00:37:55,470
to the right provocation.

386
00:37:56,347 --> 00:37:58,347
Which would not be a fly,
but for instance,

387
00:37:58,347 --> 00:38:02,055
a brightly colored wobbler,
preferably red,

388
00:38:02,055 --> 00:38:04,972
served immediately
in front of the fish.

389
00:38:04,972 --> 00:38:08,471
The very best is one we call
the Finnish Weapon.

390
00:38:08,471 --> 00:38:10,345
The so-called "Rappala."

391
00:38:13,264 --> 00:38:15,138
I don't know if it's comparable,

392
00:38:15,138 --> 00:38:18,180
but I decided in any case
to find out

393
00:38:18,180 --> 00:38:20,264
why he hadn't taken the bait,

394
00:38:20,264 --> 00:38:22,805
and to use my
psychological abilities,

395
00:38:22,805 --> 00:38:26,719
which B, in my opinion,
didn't possess to the same degree.

396
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:30,095
You've bought a gift.

397
00:38:31,721 --> 00:38:32,636
Yes.

398
00:38:34,305 --> 00:38:35,844
It's for my wife.

399
00:38:37,347 --> 00:38:41,345
- No gifts for the children?
- No.

400
00:38:42,555 --> 00:38:44,636
We don't have any, actually.

401
00:38:45,513 --> 00:38:48,594
Well, you seem rather well-to-do.

402
00:38:50,346 --> 00:38:55,222
You travel first-class,
and you bought us our tickets.

403
00:38:55,222 --> 00:38:59,264
Why then not buy a decent gift
for your wife?

404
00:38:59,264 --> 00:39:02,011
I can see it comes
from the station.

405
00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:10,097
Of course I should have...

406
00:39:10,097 --> 00:39:12,304
bought her something...

407
00:39:12,304 --> 00:39:14,011
something better, but...

408
00:39:15,180 --> 00:39:18,220
Let's just say I was suddenly
in a hurry to get home.

409
00:39:19,222 --> 00:39:22,097
Why would a man like you

410
00:39:22,097 --> 00:39:25,220
with such an orderly life
suddenly have to hurry?

411
00:39:28,972 --> 00:39:30,886
It has to do with family.

412
00:39:33,513 --> 00:39:36,011
My wife and I have decided
that we...

413
00:39:38,972 --> 00:39:41,302
we miss having children, after all.

414
00:39:41,972 --> 00:39:44,761
And that if we are to have children,
it has to be now.

415
00:39:47,555 --> 00:39:49,844
So my wife called yesterday
to say that she...

416
00:39:51,221 --> 00:39:52,678
She started ovulating.

417
00:39:54,763 --> 00:39:58,886
And all signs point to maximum
fertility precisely tonight.

418
00:39:59,972 --> 00:40:01,053
You see?

419
00:40:02,013 --> 00:40:04,721
That's why I bought her
a gift at the station.

420
00:40:04,721 --> 00:40:07,427
I had to get a ticket home
as quickly as possible.

421
00:40:09,221 --> 00:40:14,263
- Well, I understand now.
- What is it you understand?

422
00:40:14,263 --> 00:40:16,678
Why you didn't have sex with us.

423
00:40:20,263 --> 00:40:23,055
It wasn't because I didn't want to.

424
00:40:23,055 --> 00:40:27,055
So you've been saving your sperm.

425
00:40:27,055 --> 00:40:31,930
For weeks. I mean,
you and your wife are...

426
00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:35,221
seem to be at an age
where every attempt

427
00:40:35,221 --> 00:40:39,469
to become pregnant has to be
taken very seriously.

428
00:40:41,429 --> 00:40:43,427
Right now, my...

429
00:40:45,513 --> 00:40:49,553
My sperm quality
is at its peak, I'm told.

430
00:41:04,012 --> 00:41:05,594
Please...

431
00:41:09,388 --> 00:41:11,886
I'm begging you, please don't.

432
00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:13,678
It's okay.

433
00:41:15,012 --> 00:41:16,261
Please don't.

434
00:41:18,763 --> 00:41:21,135
You've been as horny as hell.

435
00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:24,135
But you wouldn't
give up your load.

436
00:41:24,888 --> 00:41:26,135
Please don't.

437
00:41:36,012 --> 00:41:37,927
Oh, fuck.

438
00:42:17,971 --> 00:42:19,052
Wow.

439
00:42:31,596 --> 00:42:35,471
In your case, it wasn't
the taste of a Madeleine cake,

440
00:42:35,471 --> 00:42:37,346
moistened with lime blossom tea,

441
00:42:37,346 --> 00:42:40,344
but the combination
of chocolate and sperm.

442
00:42:41,388 --> 00:42:42,469
What?

443
00:42:43,054 --> 00:42:48,094
That was a piece of
culturally blasphemic digression.

444
00:42:50,054 --> 00:42:51,971
It's a story about memory.

445
00:42:51,971 --> 00:42:54,012
How the combination
of two flavors

446
00:42:54,012 --> 00:42:56,094
set off a chain of memories.

447
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,929
So oral sex became,
in the eye of the angler,

448
00:43:02,929 --> 00:43:07,720
your... your Finnish weapon.

449
00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:09,718
Is that your only comment?

450
00:43:11,679 --> 00:43:13,760
What else... What else
do you want me to say?

451
00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:17,718
That I behaved reprehensibly.

452
00:43:19,054 --> 00:43:21,263
That already my actions exemplify

453
00:43:21,263 --> 00:43:24,261
that I'm a...
I'm a terrible human being.

454
00:43:25,304 --> 00:43:27,804
That's not the way I see it.

455
00:43:27,804 --> 00:43:30,388
On the contrary, I saw it as a...

456
00:43:30,388 --> 00:43:32,927
A very pleasurable
and humorous story.

457
00:43:33,762 --> 00:43:37,469
Not at all sad, or...
or weighed down by sin.

458
00:43:38,096 --> 00:43:39,637
Like all that talk
about Pandora's Box.

459
00:43:39,637 --> 00:43:43,679
I've consciously used
and hurt others...

460
00:43:43,679 --> 00:43:46,511
for the sake of
my own satisfaction.

461
00:43:47,346 --> 00:43:50,137
And what I've told you so far
only begins to suggest that.

462
00:43:50,137 --> 00:43:52,929
But when you told the story,
you were cheerful.

463
00:43:52,929 --> 00:43:54,177
Full of humor.

464
00:43:54,762 --> 00:43:58,554
It wasn't as if you embarked
on some tragic tale.

465
00:43:58,554 --> 00:44:00,635
Well, that's the way I am.

466
00:44:02,762 --> 00:44:06,304
I've always loved
the chills at the start of a fever,

467
00:44:06,304 --> 00:44:09,593
knowing only too well that
sickness will soon follow.

468
00:44:16,346 --> 00:44:18,429
The only thing you've done,

469
00:44:18,429 --> 00:44:21,471
except giving a few people
an experience to remember,

470
00:44:21,471 --> 00:44:22,971
is that you...

471
00:44:22,971 --> 00:44:25,427
You relieved S from his load

472
00:44:26,096 --> 00:44:28,510
in some... some youthful hubris.

473
00:44:30,804 --> 00:44:33,762
I read somewhere that if you
keep the load too long

474
00:44:33,762 --> 00:44:35,263
the sperm will die.

475
00:44:35,263 --> 00:44:37,510
Or worse, degenerate.

476
00:44:38,845 --> 00:44:41,263
Maybe thanks to you,
Mr. S and his wife

477
00:44:41,263 --> 00:44:43,718
now have a healthy
and well-functioning child.

478
00:44:45,595 --> 00:44:48,346
I discovered my power as a woman

479
00:44:48,346 --> 00:44:50,802
and used it without
any concern for others.

480
00:44:51,804 --> 00:44:53,428
That's completely unacceptable.

481
00:44:53,428 --> 00:44:55,720
Oh, little darling...

482
00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:57,344
Don't you "little darling" me.

483
00:45:00,346 --> 00:45:01,094
No.

484
00:45:04,096 --> 00:45:06,010
What I wanted to say was that

485
00:45:06,929 --> 00:45:08,760
if you have wings, why not fly?

486
00:45:10,346 --> 00:45:11,552
Allow me to digress.

487
00:45:12,179 --> 00:45:14,971
I read a book about
Sikorski and helicopters

488
00:45:14,971 --> 00:45:16,887
where the author
stressed the fact that

489
00:45:16,887 --> 00:45:20,345
in order to take off, you tilt
the helicopter forward.

490
00:45:20,345 --> 00:45:22,428
It looks like you're trying
to force the helicopter

491
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:26,679
down into the ground,
but the effect is the contrary.

492
00:45:26,679 --> 00:45:28,720
That the velocity
takes the helicopter

493
00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:32,554
and sweeps it up in the air.

494
00:45:32,554 --> 00:45:35,385
The pilots say the helicopter
wants to fly.

495
00:45:37,221 --> 00:45:39,387
It's like when you're
in a glider plane,

496
00:45:39,387 --> 00:45:42,387
and suddenly you're lifted,

497
00:45:42,387 --> 00:45:46,221
because of the spontaneous
emission of thermals.

498
00:45:46,221 --> 00:45:51,512
Thermals is when the sun
is warming up the field,

499
00:45:51,512 --> 00:45:55,635
and it emits a thermal bubble
of warm air that rises.

500
00:45:56,512 --> 00:45:58,929
These aircraft, they want to fly.

501
00:45:58,929 --> 00:46:01,177
It's just a little
unpredictable when.

502
00:46:03,387 --> 00:46:05,969
You flew on that... on that train.

503
00:46:07,345 --> 00:46:09,593
And that surprised you.

504
00:46:44,554 --> 00:46:46,176
No more stories.

505
00:46:48,512 --> 00:46:50,052
You need to sleep.

506
00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:52,093
No, no.

507
00:46:52,762 --> 00:46:54,927
This is beginning to amuse me.

508
00:47:01,637 --> 00:47:03,510
I don't even know your name.

509
00:47:05,220 --> 00:47:06,510
My name is Joe.

510
00:47:07,929 --> 00:47:09,468
I'm Seligman.

511
00:47:11,136 --> 00:47:13,176
What a fucking ridiculous name.

512
00:47:15,637 --> 00:47:17,093
It's Jewish.

513
00:47:18,220 --> 00:47:19,887
You said you weren't religious.

514
00:47:19,887 --> 00:47:22,345
No, but my great-grandfather was.

515
00:47:22,345 --> 00:47:25,426
And my parents gave me
the name as a sort of...

516
00:47:26,470 --> 00:47:28,885
sentimental association to Judaism.

517
00:47:32,804 --> 00:47:37,845
Why let the sentimental part
of religion, as you said,

518
00:47:37,845 --> 00:47:40,885
outlive religion itself?

519
00:47:44,262 --> 00:47:45,677
You have a point.

520
00:47:48,554 --> 00:47:51,593
But we've always been anti-Zionists,

521
00:47:53,220 --> 00:47:55,468
which is not the same
as being anti-Semitic,

522
00:47:56,762 --> 00:47:59,385
as certain political powers
try to convince us.

523
00:48:00,387 --> 00:48:01,802
Seligman...

524
00:48:02,845 --> 00:48:05,385
means "the happy one."

525
00:48:08,679 --> 00:48:10,343
So, are you happy then?

526
00:48:13,303 --> 00:48:15,051
Well, I suppose I am.

527
00:48:17,011 --> 00:48:18,635
In my own way.

528
00:48:19,303 --> 00:48:20,720
Even if I'm the kind of person

529
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:23,053
who cut the nails
of the right hand first.

530
00:48:23,053 --> 00:48:24,468
What does that mean?

531
00:48:25,387 --> 00:48:27,679
Well, I divide humanity
into two groups:

532
00:48:27,679 --> 00:48:30,637
the people who cut the nails
on the left hand first,

533
00:48:30,637 --> 00:48:33,593
and the people who cut the nails
of the right hand first.

534
00:48:34,554 --> 00:48:36,554
My theory is that the people
who cut the nails

535
00:48:36,554 --> 00:48:39,886
of the left hand first,
they're more light-hearted.

536
00:48:39,886 --> 00:48:42,301
They have a tendency
to enjoy life more,

537
00:48:42,803 --> 00:48:45,801
because they go straight
for the easiest task, and...

538
00:48:46,512 --> 00:48:49,301
save the difficulties for later.

539
00:48:55,095 --> 00:48:59,387
- So what do you do?
- Always the left hand first.

540
00:48:59,387 --> 00:49:01,218
I don't think there's a choice.

541
00:49:01,970 --> 00:49:05,345
Go for the pleasure first, always.

542
00:49:05,345 --> 00:49:08,595
And then when you've
done the left hand,

543
00:49:08,595 --> 00:49:10,301
only the right hand remains.

544
00:49:11,011 --> 00:49:13,593
That's the easiest one left.

545
00:49:20,803 --> 00:49:23,009
I never thought of it like that.

546
00:49:25,844 --> 00:49:27,759
Well, you're never too old.

547
00:49:28,595 --> 00:49:29,884
Never too old to learn.

548
00:49:38,345 --> 00:49:40,678
That's rugelach.

549
00:49:40,678 --> 00:49:43,178
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's a Jewish cake.

550
00:49:43,178 --> 00:49:46,761
- There's that sentimentality again.
- Oh, but it's more than rugelach.

551
00:49:46,761 --> 00:49:49,426
It's rugelach served
with a cake fork.

552
00:49:50,970 --> 00:49:54,136
A rugelach, in my opinion, is pastry,

553
00:49:54,136 --> 00:49:57,303
which there is no excuse
for eating with a cake fork.

554
00:49:57,303 --> 00:50:01,262
To serve it with a cake fork
is irritatingly unmanly,

555
00:50:01,262 --> 00:50:04,093
not to say downright feminine.

556
00:50:06,262 --> 00:50:10,009
However, it can bring us
further with the story.

557
00:50:11,470 --> 00:50:16,512
I also knew someone who
consumed rugelach every day,

558
00:50:16,512 --> 00:50:19,260
almost ritually,
with a cake fork.

559
00:50:20,053 --> 00:50:22,759
And although we'll be
jumping a bit in time,

560
00:50:24,636 --> 00:50:26,801
I have to tell you about Jerome.

561
00:50:27,512 --> 00:50:29,303
As far as I can see,
the next chapter

562
00:50:29,303 --> 00:50:31,970
doesn't contain
as direct an accusation

563
00:50:31,970 --> 00:50:35,594
against my person
as the rest of the story.

564
00:50:35,594 --> 00:50:38,553
But as you've read
a great deal, apparently,

565
00:50:38,553 --> 00:50:41,178
you know that in a story
things have to be good

566
00:50:41,178 --> 00:50:42,968
before they can be bad.

567
00:50:47,136 --> 00:50:51,095
The chapter will also make
a sentimental soul like you happy

568
00:50:51,095 --> 00:50:55,676
as it contains observations
on the subject of love.

569
00:52:13,803 --> 00:52:15,717
Can I tell you something?

570
00:52:17,803 --> 00:52:19,884
Sure.

571
00:52:20,678 --> 00:52:23,011
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure.

572
00:52:23,011 --> 00:52:24,886
It might not be important to you...

573
00:52:24,886 --> 00:52:27,551
But it is to me.

574
00:52:29,178 --> 00:52:31,259
I've never had an orgasm before.

575
00:52:34,844 --> 00:52:36,592
Really?

576
00:52:41,053 --> 00:52:42,592
You're my first one.

577
00:52:45,386 --> 00:52:47,134
You don't know how happy
that makes me.

578
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:52,926
I love you.

579
00:52:58,219 --> 00:53:00,093
You're my first.

580
00:53:04,511 --> 00:53:06,051
Well, I have to admit,

581
00:53:06,761 --> 00:53:08,509
quite a lot of girls say that.

582
00:53:11,511 --> 00:53:14,594
The train trip
had increased my appetite,

583
00:53:14,594 --> 00:53:17,135
and soon B and I started a club

584
00:53:17,135 --> 00:53:19,842
that we called
"The Little Flock."

585
00:53:21,302 --> 00:53:24,803
Mea vulva, mea maxima vulva.

586
00:53:24,803 --> 00:53:26,177
B, of course, took the lead

587
00:53:26,177 --> 00:53:27,968
as she was the most
daring of us.

588
00:53:28,928 --> 00:53:31,719
She was raised Catholic.
I'm sure you're familiar

589
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,636
with the practices
of the Catholic Church.

590
00:53:34,636 --> 00:53:38,928
...mea maxima vulva.
Mea vulva, mea...

591
00:53:38,928 --> 00:53:40,553
That's interesting.

592
00:53:40,553 --> 00:53:43,634
Blasphemic, satanic.

593
00:53:45,135 --> 00:53:49,052
The music. The interval
between "B" and "F."

594
00:53:49,052 --> 00:53:51,801
It's a tritone.
The devil's interval.

595
00:53:52,970 --> 00:53:55,342
It was banned from music
in the Middle Ages.

596
00:53:56,803 --> 00:53:59,511
Well, the Vacuum Cleaner invented it.

597
00:53:59,511 --> 00:54:01,384
She took piano lessons.

598
00:54:02,219 --> 00:54:03,678
Vacuum Cleaner?

599
00:54:03,678 --> 00:54:07,509
The Vacuum Cleaner possessed
a special talent for floppy cocks.

600
00:54:08,844 --> 00:54:11,634
She had some kind of vacuum
in her cunt.

601
00:54:12,177 --> 00:54:14,511
I was imagining something like that.

602
00:54:14,511 --> 00:54:17,427
Fourteenth of the eighth.

603
00:54:17,427 --> 00:54:20,135
I was at a place called The Donkey.

604
00:54:20,135 --> 00:54:23,344
The boys were staring,
University hangout.

605
00:54:23,344 --> 00:54:25,427
I approached the stupidest
one of the lot

606
00:54:25,427 --> 00:54:28,010
and asked for directions
to the underground.

607
00:54:28,010 --> 00:54:29,801
He studied literature.

608
00:54:30,344 --> 00:54:34,010
I told him I read a lot,
and that I really admired people

609
00:54:34,010 --> 00:54:36,259
that chose to study subjects
in depth.

610
00:54:37,344 --> 00:54:39,636
As I said, he was very stupid.

611
00:54:39,636 --> 00:54:41,427
Told me all about Kierkegaard.

612
00:54:41,427 --> 00:54:43,261
I nodded, smiled.

613
00:54:43,261 --> 00:54:44,885
Then he asked
if we could go elsewhere.

614
00:54:44,885 --> 00:54:48,467
The idiot thought he'd pulled me
after five minutes of his bullshit.

615
00:54:49,052 --> 00:54:51,092
I told him I was on my period,

616
00:54:52,469 --> 00:54:55,133
and I took out his cock
and gave him a hand job.

617
00:54:57,302 --> 00:55:00,217
Ugly, little shriveled cock,
with a tight foreskin.

618
00:55:01,803 --> 00:55:03,761
When I pulled it back,
it sort of collapsed

619
00:55:03,761 --> 00:55:07,885
but it worked in the end.
University boys are disgusting.

620
00:55:07,885 --> 00:55:10,219
And then I jacked him off
until he shook

621
00:55:10,219 --> 00:55:13,259
in that way they do, you know.
Just before they come.

622
00:55:14,052 --> 00:55:16,219
Then I let go of his cock and got up.

623
00:55:16,219 --> 00:55:19,969
I left him standing up against the wall

624
00:55:19,969 --> 00:55:23,384
with his pants round his ankles
looking stunned.

625
00:55:25,344 --> 00:55:29,261
Now, B's message wasn't
exactly representational.

626
00:55:29,261 --> 00:55:31,551
She just had to be the tough one.

627
00:55:33,469 --> 00:55:35,133
It was directed at the men.

628
00:55:36,344 --> 00:55:40,092
It was about fucking,
and about having the right to be horny.

629
00:55:41,427 --> 00:55:44,509
We masturbated together,
that kind of thing.

630
00:55:46,094 --> 00:55:47,634
But it was rebellious.

631
00:55:50,177 --> 00:55:51,718
We weren't allowed
to have boyfriends.

632
00:55:51,718 --> 00:55:54,175
No fucking the same guy
more than once.

633
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:59,467
You said you were rebellious.
What did you rebel against?

634
00:55:59,969 --> 00:56:00,800
Love.

635
00:56:02,843 --> 00:56:03,716
Love?

636
00:56:04,386 --> 00:56:08,133
We were committed to combat
the love-fixated society.

637
00:56:27,553 --> 00:56:30,261
I really believed
in our Little Flock.

638
00:56:30,261 --> 00:56:32,758
But of course,
that was naive of me.

639
00:56:33,386 --> 00:56:36,344
Over time, even the strongest

640
00:56:36,344 --> 00:56:38,885
couldn't stay true to our manifest.

641
00:56:38,885 --> 00:56:42,969
Third of the fifth.
My third intercourse this week,

642
00:56:42,969 --> 00:56:44,758
- again with Alex.
- Third?

643
00:56:47,469 --> 00:56:50,677
Haven't we stated that
we fuck each guy once?

644
00:56:50,677 --> 00:56:53,259
Yes, but he was rather sweet.

645
00:56:54,219 --> 00:56:55,259
Sweet?

646
00:56:56,094 --> 00:56:59,300
- Well, you know, sexy.
- Well, then, say sexy.

647
00:57:01,427 --> 00:57:02,969
He squeezed my earlobes.

648
00:57:02,969 --> 00:57:06,175
Earlobes? Great.
What else did he squeeze?

649
00:57:09,302 --> 00:57:12,633
I don't think
you can understand Alex.

650
00:57:13,261 --> 00:57:14,802
I don't want to.

651
00:57:14,802 --> 00:57:17,302
- Our relationship--
- Relationship.

652
00:57:17,302 --> 00:57:18,466
There you are.

653
00:57:19,635 --> 00:57:23,344
The way you're describing it,
which should be full of lust,

654
00:57:23,344 --> 00:57:26,427
is just a nauseating analysis
of his future abilities

655
00:57:26,427 --> 00:57:28,510
as a father to your child.

656
00:57:28,510 --> 00:57:32,342
You think you know
everything about sex.

657
00:57:36,261 --> 00:57:40,217
The secret ingredient
to sex is love.

658
00:57:46,219 --> 00:57:50,841
For me, love was just lust
with jealousy added.

659
00:57:51,635 --> 00:57:53,841
Everything else was total nonsense.

660
00:57:54,552 --> 00:57:58,802
For every 100 crimes committed
in the name of love,

661
00:57:58,802 --> 00:58:01,424
only one is committed
in the name of sex.

662
00:58:03,052 --> 00:58:04,593
That's quite a statement.

663
00:58:04,593 --> 00:58:08,758
Well, it all strengthened my
wish for a serious education.

664
00:58:33,843 --> 00:58:35,800
Glasgow.

665
00:58:39,426 --> 00:58:40,508
Aberdeen.

666
00:58:42,468 --> 00:58:43,967
Why are you smiling?

667
00:58:44,718 --> 00:58:47,052
Well, I just pictured

668
00:58:47,052 --> 00:58:50,050
how an education would be
conveyed in your storytelling.

669
00:58:51,260 --> 00:58:53,133
Well, that's nothing to smile about.

670
00:58:54,177 --> 00:58:55,633
Oh, I understand that.

671
00:58:57,260 --> 00:58:59,383
So what kind of education
did you get?

672
00:59:00,260 --> 00:59:03,635
I began studying medicine,
like my father.

673
00:59:03,635 --> 00:59:07,760
Today we are going to perform the
procedure that's called an abortion.

674
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:12,094
We open up our cervical channel
to enter the uterus,

675
00:59:12,094 --> 00:59:14,426
and to get access to the fetus,

676
00:59:14,426 --> 00:59:17,718
for which we use
the so-called Hegal sticks.

677
00:59:17,718 --> 00:59:21,841
We enter the vagina tract,
and go into the cervical channel.

678
00:59:22,885 --> 00:59:24,843
We start with a small sized stick

679
00:59:24,843 --> 00:59:28,134
to cause a minimum of damage
to the tissue.

680
00:59:28,134 --> 00:59:31,593
And then we increase
the size of the stick.

681
00:59:31,593 --> 00:59:34,718
But it was harder and
harder for me to concentrate,

682
00:59:34,718 --> 00:59:38,967
so I studied less and less,
till finally I dropped out.

683
00:59:41,176 --> 00:59:45,050
My dad was very disappointed
when I stopped.

684
00:59:45,969 --> 00:59:48,593
But it was the only time
I saw my mother really smile

685
00:59:48,593 --> 00:59:51,591
when she said,
"What did I tell you?"

686
00:59:54,843 --> 00:59:57,383
So instead, I began
to look for a job.

687
00:59:59,051 --> 01:00:01,843
It turned out
it was hard to get a job

688
01:00:01,843 --> 01:00:04,466
that paid even halfway decently.

689
01:00:05,552 --> 01:00:08,885
I didn't really know
how to do anything.

690
01:00:08,885 --> 01:00:12,051
So I didn't have high hopes
when I applied for a position

691
01:00:12,051 --> 01:00:14,716
as an assistant
at a printing house.

692
01:00:15,843 --> 01:00:18,301
So, could you tell me
a little bit more

693
01:00:18,301 --> 01:00:21,468
about your background?

694
01:00:21,468 --> 01:00:23,301
Um...

695
01:00:23,301 --> 01:00:26,760
- Education-wise.
- Oh.

696
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:32,091
Well, I finished high school,
and decided to study medicine.

697
01:00:32,927 --> 01:00:35,093
But I didn't finish.

698
01:00:35,093 --> 01:00:37,760
I know it sounds a bit
pointless coming here.

699
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:40,343
- Right.
- I just really need a job.

700
01:00:40,343 --> 01:00:42,385
And I've tried everywhere.

701
01:00:42,385 --> 01:00:46,007
I don't usually give jobs to people
just because they need one.

702
01:00:47,426 --> 01:00:52,051
What about secretarial skills?
Do you have any of those?

703
01:00:52,051 --> 01:00:54,633
No, I didn't think
you needed skills.

704
01:00:56,426 --> 01:00:59,260
You didn't think you needed
skills for this position

705
01:00:59,260 --> 01:01:01,633
- as a secretary?
- No.

706
01:01:02,134 --> 01:01:03,966
Can you open an envelope?

707
01:01:04,593 --> 01:01:07,802
Yes, I... Yes, I think
I can open an envelope.

708
01:01:07,802 --> 01:01:09,800
Well, I'm glad to hear that.

709
01:01:11,051 --> 01:01:15,591
I shall discuss this conversation
with Mr. Jerome, my boss.

710
01:01:18,260 --> 01:01:21,341
Do you think
there's a chance?

711
01:01:22,343 --> 01:01:25,299
- I doubt it.
- Oh.

712
01:01:45,051 --> 01:01:49,508
Well, apparently,
having absolutely no experience

713
01:01:50,301 --> 01:01:52,468
is absolutely fine for this job.

714
01:01:52,468 --> 01:01:53,633
You've got it.

715
01:01:56,468 --> 01:01:58,550
Does that mean
I should start tomorrow?

716
01:01:59,426 --> 01:02:01,007
Yeah, I suppose it does.

717
01:02:03,301 --> 01:02:05,258
- Good morning.
- Right.

718
01:02:12,552 --> 01:02:14,799
Yes?

719
01:02:18,093 --> 01:02:20,051
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.

720
01:02:20,051 --> 01:02:22,676
I just wanted to introduce you
to our new junior secretary.

721
01:02:22,676 --> 01:02:25,552
Joe? I believe you wanted
to explain her work duties.

722
01:02:25,552 --> 01:02:27,218
- Hi.
- This is the new junior secretary.

723
01:02:27,218 --> 01:02:28,842
Liz, can I have another coffee?

724
01:02:28,842 --> 01:02:30,132
- Yes, of course, sir.
- Thank you.

725
01:02:33,510 --> 01:02:34,341
Hi.

726
01:02:38,468 --> 01:02:41,466
- Jerome.
- Your first love.

727
01:02:47,468 --> 01:02:50,134
I bet you didn't think I'd make
something of myself, right?

728
01:02:50,134 --> 01:02:51,759
And now, here I sit.

729
01:02:51,759 --> 01:02:53,966
The director's chair
of M and J Morris, Ltd.

730
01:02:58,301 --> 01:03:00,383
- Yeah, it's quite surprising.
- Surprising?

731
01:03:01,176 --> 01:03:02,715
It's a sign from God.

732
01:03:07,634 --> 01:03:09,466
You know, I've thought
about you often since then.

733
01:03:11,260 --> 01:03:12,924
Have you thought of me?

734
01:03:15,842 --> 01:03:18,091
- Well...
- What?

735
01:03:19,009 --> 01:03:21,634
Usually, you know,
my uncle sits here.

736
01:03:21,634 --> 01:03:23,260
But he's developed a bit
of a tummy problem,

737
01:03:23,260 --> 01:03:24,968
so he's at the spa,
taking long baths,

738
01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:28,385
drinking lots of water, poor guy.
And no one knows for how long.

739
01:03:28,385 --> 01:03:31,842
So now I'm the "J"
in M and J Morris, Ltd.

740
01:03:31,842 --> 01:03:33,634
How about that?

741
01:03:33,634 --> 01:03:36,466
We print cards and envelopes,
nonsense like that.

742
01:03:37,301 --> 01:03:39,176
It's a bloody complicated
business, you know.

743
01:03:39,176 --> 01:03:40,590
I don't understand a word of it.

744
01:03:41,842 --> 01:03:44,634
Come, I'll show you around. Yes?

745
01:03:44,634 --> 01:03:46,301
- Ladies?
- Yes, sir.

746
01:03:46,301 --> 01:03:48,509
Oh, look, there you are.
Good job.

747
01:03:48,509 --> 01:03:50,884
Every time you do a good job,
I say, "Good job, Liz."

748
01:03:50,884 --> 01:03:52,717
- Thank you, sir.
- What's her name?

749
01:03:52,717 --> 01:03:54,551
- Liz.
- Good job, Liz.

750
01:03:54,551 --> 01:03:56,590
- Good job, Liz.
- Good job, Liz.

751
01:04:15,425 --> 01:04:17,134
It stopped.

752
01:04:17,134 --> 01:04:18,549
Fuck.

753
01:04:22,093 --> 01:04:23,132
Yes.

754
01:04:25,093 --> 01:04:27,549
- Well, isn't there an alarm?
- Which?

755
01:04:28,218 --> 01:04:30,634
- Isn't there...
- Alarm, right, yes.

756
01:04:30,634 --> 01:04:33,382
Good thinking.

757
01:04:36,842 --> 01:04:37,924
Imagine...

758
01:04:38,842 --> 01:04:41,258
you look just as great
all these years later.

759
01:04:41,801 --> 01:04:42,924
Oh, no.

760
01:04:47,134 --> 01:04:49,590
- No.
- No?

761
01:04:51,759 --> 01:04:53,384
No, Jerome, this won't work.

762
01:04:53,384 --> 01:04:55,966
- Which won't work?
- This.

763
01:04:58,676 --> 01:04:59,715
Why not?

764
01:05:00,884 --> 01:05:02,257
You're not really my type.

765
01:05:04,926 --> 01:05:06,091
That's how it's gonna be?

766
01:05:06,884 --> 01:05:08,840
- Yes.
- All right.

767
01:05:15,467 --> 01:05:16,715
Fuck's sake.

768
01:05:26,551 --> 01:05:27,507
Okay.

769
01:05:37,467 --> 01:05:39,134
Um...

770
01:05:39,134 --> 01:05:40,382
Give me your hand.

771
01:05:41,467 --> 01:05:43,507
We'll do fireman's grip.

772
01:05:45,551 --> 01:05:47,049
- You okay?
- Yeah.

773
01:05:50,384 --> 01:05:51,840
Why didn't you
have sex with him?

774
01:05:54,009 --> 01:05:56,298
You must have had sex
in a lift before.

775
01:05:58,509 --> 01:06:02,467
I'm not quite sure.
I've shagged lots of idiots.

776
01:06:02,467 --> 01:06:05,090
Including worse idiots than him.

777
01:06:07,259 --> 01:06:08,842
Of course, I...

778
01:06:08,842 --> 01:06:11,840
I regretted that it had
been him back then.

779
01:06:12,884 --> 01:06:15,509
But that's just sentimental drivel.

780
01:06:15,509 --> 01:06:16,799
And I'm not sentimental.

781
01:06:18,092 --> 01:06:20,050
I suppose he fired you then.

782
01:06:20,050 --> 01:06:23,465
No. If he had fired me,
then he would have lost.

783
01:06:26,801 --> 01:06:28,551
As I didn't recall anyone

784
01:06:28,551 --> 01:06:30,425
having defined my work duties,

785
01:06:30,425 --> 01:06:34,173
I decided to clean up in order
to smooth the waters.

786
01:06:42,050 --> 01:06:43,425
Good morning, sir.

787
01:06:43,425 --> 01:06:45,423
- Any calls?
- No, sir.

788
01:06:51,842 --> 01:06:55,715
- What have you done?
- Oh. I cleaned up.

789
01:06:56,259 --> 01:06:57,965
You cleaned up.

790
01:06:59,050 --> 01:07:00,634
- It was quite messy, and--
- Liz?

791
01:07:00,634 --> 01:07:03,465
- Yes, sir?
- She cleaned up.

792
01:07:04,092 --> 01:07:06,384
I know, I... I didn't know, sir.

793
01:07:06,384 --> 01:07:08,507
- I was away from my desk.
- Are you completely mad?

794
01:07:15,384 --> 01:07:17,423
What is the tea
and pastry doing here?

795
01:07:18,092 --> 01:07:19,384
I thought that's
what you wanted for--

796
01:07:19,384 --> 01:07:22,676
You thought?
You're not supposed to think.

797
01:07:22,676 --> 01:07:25,092
I don't pay you to think, do I?
This is a do-over.

798
01:07:25,092 --> 01:07:26,634
- A do-over...
- Right.

799
01:07:26,634 --> 01:07:29,382
Pick it up. Take it outside.
And do it again.

800
01:07:41,759 --> 01:07:44,006
One moment.

801
01:07:52,384 --> 01:07:53,674
Come in.

802
01:07:56,883 --> 01:07:59,175
Would now be a good time
for some tea and cake?

803
01:07:59,175 --> 01:08:00,465
Sure, why not?

804
01:08:03,384 --> 01:08:05,133
Where the fuck's my cake fork?

805
01:08:05,133 --> 01:08:07,050
- Cake fork?
- Right.

806
01:08:07,050 --> 01:08:11,590
Well, I would have got you one,
but it just... feels inappropriate.

807
01:08:29,175 --> 01:08:31,133
Unmanly.

808
01:08:31,133 --> 01:08:32,592
Feminine.

809
01:08:32,592 --> 01:08:34,551
Well, on the other hand,

810
01:08:34,551 --> 01:08:38,632
you must say that a cake fork
is a rather practical tool.

811
01:08:40,551 --> 01:08:43,839
It's like a cross between
a knife and a fork.

812
01:08:44,467 --> 01:08:46,634
The point is that you're
supposed to be able

813
01:08:46,634 --> 01:08:48,634
to hold the cake dish
with one hand

814
01:08:48,634 --> 01:08:50,298
and then cut it with the other.

815
01:08:51,008 --> 01:08:54,509
And then eat it with the fork.

816
01:08:54,509 --> 01:08:57,382
It's not feminine,
it's at least bourgeois.

817
01:08:58,300 --> 01:09:00,758
It's said that the Bolsheviks,

818
01:09:00,758 --> 01:09:02,925
during their rampage
through Russia,

819
01:09:02,925 --> 01:09:04,633
to separate the men from the boys,

820
01:09:04,633 --> 01:09:07,551
or rather the bourgeoisie
from the proletariat,

821
01:09:07,551 --> 01:09:10,716
they brought a boy,
and before burning down a house

822
01:09:10,716 --> 01:09:14,257
they sent him in to make sure
they had cake forks.

823
01:09:19,008 --> 01:09:21,923
That's not true.

824
01:09:24,259 --> 01:09:26,467
I don't have the story first-hand.

825
01:09:26,467 --> 01:09:27,756
Hello.

826
01:09:28,675 --> 01:09:30,550
- Hi.
- Hi.

827
01:09:30,550 --> 01:09:33,050
I was wondering
if you could help me.

828
01:09:33,050 --> 01:09:36,675
It's suddenly gone very dirty.
See, yes?

829
01:09:36,675 --> 01:09:40,217
See, you've got your dirty
fingers on there.

830
01:09:40,217 --> 01:09:42,300
Maybe we should
wash your hands.

831
01:09:42,300 --> 01:09:43,756
Yeah, better.

832
01:09:46,259 --> 01:09:47,967
Mm-hmm.

833
01:09:47,967 --> 01:09:50,716
- You must be very talented.
- Yeah, sure.

834
01:09:50,716 --> 01:09:51,465
Hmm.

835
01:09:52,217 --> 01:09:55,090
You see, here's got a stain.

836
01:10:07,175 --> 01:10:08,967
If you'd asked
Jerome, he would have said

837
01:10:08,967 --> 01:10:11,090
that I was the one
who'd declared war.

838
01:10:13,633 --> 01:10:17,839
Many times he'd take me into town
just so I could hold his coat.

839
01:10:18,716 --> 01:10:20,883
- There.
- Where?

840
01:10:20,883 --> 01:10:22,839
There, behind the green car.

841
01:10:25,384 --> 01:10:27,756
- It's not big enough.
- It is, there's plenty of space.

842
01:10:31,092 --> 01:10:33,175
I saw it, it's not enough space.

843
01:10:33,175 --> 01:10:35,422
I'm telling you,
there's plenty of space.

844
01:10:48,175 --> 01:10:51,548
No. It's too small a space
for such a long car.

845
01:10:54,424 --> 01:10:56,006
Can I try?

846
01:10:57,633 --> 01:11:01,050
- Can you try?
- I'm a wizard at this.

847
01:11:01,050 --> 01:11:02,591
I just tried, it's not enough space, Joe.

848
01:11:02,591 --> 01:11:05,298
You just saw me do it.
It's not enough space, okay?

849
01:11:06,175 --> 01:11:09,090
- Can I try?
- Fuck. You want to try?

850
01:11:11,675 --> 01:11:12,798
Why not?

851
01:11:27,716 --> 01:11:29,090
Stupid.

852
01:12:08,050 --> 01:12:11,341
It was about
this time that a dramatic change

853
01:12:11,341 --> 01:12:13,256
happened inside of me.

854
01:12:14,675 --> 01:12:19,214
I could suddenly see a kind
of order in the mess.

855
01:12:30,633 --> 01:12:32,839
Are you just standing here looking?

856
01:12:35,633 --> 01:12:38,339
Yeah. I've begun to like his mess.

857
01:12:39,132 --> 01:12:40,756
How do you mean?

858
01:12:42,174 --> 01:12:45,130
Well, these are all things
placed by Jerome.

859
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,673
I mean, by Jerome's hands.

860
01:12:48,550 --> 01:12:52,130
Sounds to me like you would like
to be handled by Mr. Jerome.

861
01:12:54,008 --> 01:12:56,256
Darling, you're in love with him.

862
01:13:01,216 --> 01:13:03,589
It was all very, very wrong.

863
01:13:05,007 --> 01:13:07,589
I wanted to be one of Jerome's things.

864
01:13:08,424 --> 01:13:13,047
I wanted to be picked up
and put down, again and again.

865
01:13:14,424 --> 01:13:17,007
I wanted to be
treated by his hands

866
01:13:17,007 --> 01:13:20,132
according to some
sophisticated principle

867
01:13:20,132 --> 01:13:22,214
that I didn't understand.

868
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:24,591
His strong hands?

869
01:13:24,591 --> 01:13:28,550
Yes, but now it was no longer
just about his hands.

870
01:13:28,550 --> 01:13:31,798
It's as if everything
about him was different,

871
01:13:32,633 --> 01:13:35,841
which, of course, it wasn't
and I knew that in my head.

872
01:13:35,841 --> 01:13:39,548
And I scolded myself
for seeing him in this new light.

873
01:13:40,508 --> 01:13:44,548
- Love is blind.
- No, no, no, it's worse.

874
01:13:45,591 --> 01:13:47,381
Love distorts things.

875
01:13:48,341 --> 01:13:51,258
Or even worse...
love is something

876
01:13:51,258 --> 01:13:52,922
you've never asked for.

877
01:13:54,383 --> 01:13:58,716
The erotic was something I asked for,
or even demanded of men.

878
01:13:58,716 --> 01:14:01,464
But this idiotic love...

879
01:14:03,299 --> 01:14:05,339
I felt humiliated by it,

880
01:14:06,007 --> 01:14:08,714
and all the dishonesty that follows.

881
01:14:11,258 --> 01:14:13,548
The erotic is about saying yes.

882
01:14:15,299 --> 01:14:18,466
Love appeals to
the lowest instincts,

883
01:14:18,466 --> 01:14:20,381
wrapped up in lies.

884
01:14:21,132 --> 01:14:24,964
How do you say "yes"
when you mean "no," and vice versa.

885
01:14:28,758 --> 01:14:31,089
I'm ashamed of what I became.

886
01:14:32,383 --> 01:14:34,089
But it was beyond my control.

887
01:14:36,216 --> 01:14:40,464
- You know what you're doing now?
- No, what am I doing?

888
01:14:41,007 --> 01:14:43,256
You're defending your personality.

889
01:14:44,049 --> 01:14:46,381
I thought the point was to reveal it.

890
01:14:58,508 --> 01:15:02,673
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

891
01:15:04,924 --> 01:15:06,548
Thank you meaning, "That's all."

892
01:15:10,299 --> 01:15:13,797
You can go now.
Goodbye, Joe.

893
01:15:27,924 --> 01:15:31,508
At this time,
I took up walking again.

894
01:15:31,508 --> 01:15:33,091
You walked in the forest?

895
01:15:33,091 --> 01:15:35,548
Yes, I walked in the forest.

896
01:15:40,924 --> 01:15:43,506
The forest of my childhood.

897
01:15:44,715 --> 01:15:47,755
I took the same walk
again and again.

898
01:15:48,341 --> 01:15:51,383
Right turn after the gatehouse,

899
01:15:51,383 --> 01:15:54,258
and right again by the ash tree,

900
01:15:54,258 --> 01:15:56,964
which has the most beautiful leaves
in the forest,

901
01:15:58,632 --> 01:16:02,341
and further on,
past a lady with her poodle,

902
01:16:02,341 --> 01:16:05,089
and the old man on the bench.

903
01:16:12,424 --> 01:16:15,674
I couldn't free myself
of the image of Jerome

904
01:16:15,674 --> 01:16:17,630
and his careless elegance.

905
01:16:23,049 --> 01:16:27,547
And during this time,
when I was with other men,

906
01:16:28,341 --> 01:16:31,713
I forbade them to touch
my body with their hands.

907
01:16:35,341 --> 01:16:39,005
And soon, I stopped
having sex altogether.

908
01:16:41,091 --> 01:16:43,421
I tried to meet him all the time.

909
01:16:43,966 --> 01:16:46,172
I found out where he lived,

910
01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:49,547
but of course,
never dared ring his doorbell.

911
01:16:53,174 --> 01:16:56,507
I even started humiliating
myself on purpose

912
01:16:56,507 --> 01:16:58,630
in order for him to notice me.

913
01:17:18,882 --> 01:17:20,755
You broke a taillight.

914
01:17:22,340 --> 01:17:23,421
I did.

915
01:17:24,799 --> 01:17:27,005
I thought you were such
a wizard at parking.

916
01:17:28,091 --> 01:17:29,256
So did I.

917
01:17:30,258 --> 01:17:32,214
It'll be deducted from your salary.

918
01:17:35,674 --> 01:17:37,172
It's a long car.

919
01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:43,715
I worked for
a long time on a letter

920
01:17:43,715 --> 01:17:46,674
in which I told him about
my feelings for him,

921
01:17:46,674 --> 01:17:49,463
but couldn't bring myself
to hand it over.

922
01:17:52,216 --> 01:17:53,964
- Bye.
- Bye. Bye.

923
01:17:54,632 --> 01:17:56,216
A month would pass

924
01:17:56,216 --> 01:18:00,089
before I had built up
enough courage to deliver it.

925
01:18:25,173 --> 01:18:27,421
Well, I've written him
a letter after all.

926
01:18:29,340 --> 01:18:32,630
Do you think that the letter
is a bad idea?

927
01:18:35,382 --> 01:18:38,173
No, I think it's
the right thing to do.

928
01:18:38,173 --> 01:18:43,549
I'm just... I think maybe
you should wait until Friday.

929
01:18:43,549 --> 01:18:44,630
Why?

930
01:18:45,590 --> 01:18:47,672
He's always in a good mood
on Fridays.

931
01:18:49,049 --> 01:18:50,213
Okay.

932
01:19:09,799 --> 01:19:13,924
I'm sorry, isn't this...
Jerome's office?

933
01:19:13,924 --> 01:19:17,757
I'm happy to say that this
never has been

934
01:19:17,757 --> 01:19:20,046
and never will be Jerome's office.

935
01:19:20,549 --> 01:19:24,630
My nephew has been standing in for me
while I've been unwell.

936
01:19:25,131 --> 01:19:28,088
What's that? A letter for him?

937
01:19:29,298 --> 01:19:30,257
Yes.

938
01:19:30,257 --> 01:19:33,380
Give it to me
and I'll make sure he gets it.

939
01:19:38,006 --> 01:19:41,922
Can't promise when that might be
because he's long gone.

940
01:19:43,173 --> 01:19:46,674
How the young finance
their irrepressible desire

941
01:19:46,674 --> 01:19:48,421
for travel is a mystery to me.

942
01:19:49,465 --> 01:19:52,505
- So he's gone?
- Deserted us, yes.

943
01:19:53,965 --> 01:19:56,340
Raving about a trip around the world,

944
01:19:56,340 --> 01:19:58,713
- and married, and all.
- Married?

945
01:19:59,340 --> 01:20:00,547
Marriage, yes.

946
01:20:01,632 --> 01:20:04,004
Flown the coop with my secretary.

947
01:20:04,965 --> 01:20:05,838
Liz.

948
01:20:14,006 --> 01:20:15,588
And your job?

949
01:20:16,090 --> 01:20:18,423
Well, it turned out
that Jerome's uncle

950
01:20:18,423 --> 01:20:22,090
demanded a bit more knowledge
about the business, so...

951
01:20:22,090 --> 01:20:22,921
I see.

952
01:20:24,257 --> 01:20:26,799
Well, as for evidence of you
being a bad human being,

953
01:20:26,799 --> 01:20:28,965
there wasn't much to go on
in this chapter.

954
01:20:28,965 --> 01:20:33,088
Yes, as I said.
At least superficially.

955
01:20:34,507 --> 01:20:37,632
- I suppose you were jealous.
- No, I wasn't jealous.

956
01:20:37,632 --> 01:20:38,963
I didn't know that feeling.

957
01:20:40,465 --> 01:20:43,129
It's almost superhuman
not to feel jealousy.

958
01:20:44,590 --> 01:20:46,505
Well, that was the end of love, then?

959
01:20:48,507 --> 01:20:51,255
Well, maybe not quite as simple.

960
01:20:52,839 --> 01:20:58,006
But more about that later,
as they say in the novels.

961
01:20:58,006 --> 01:21:00,672
And Jerome just disappeared?

962
01:21:01,965 --> 01:21:07,048
Yes. Though I'd tried to keep him
in my own way, mentally,

963
01:21:07,048 --> 01:21:10,713
as I masturbated on the train
amongst other people.

964
01:21:13,048 --> 01:21:15,298
You masturbated on the train,
on the seat?

965
01:21:15,298 --> 01:21:18,382
- Yes, of course.
- And that's possible?

966
01:21:18,382 --> 01:21:22,465
Easily.
You just put your coat in your lap.

967
01:21:22,465 --> 01:21:26,839
It can be done silently
without expression.

968
01:21:26,839 --> 01:21:28,881
The only thing
that could give me away

969
01:21:28,881 --> 01:21:32,796
and mostly to women,
was my open mouth when I came.

970
01:21:47,131 --> 01:21:49,839
I did a jigsaw puzzle.

971
01:21:49,839 --> 01:21:51,879
A jigsaw puzzle?

972
01:21:56,006 --> 01:21:59,173
I found details
in the other passengers

973
01:21:59,173 --> 01:22:01,338
that reminded me of Jerome.

974
01:22:56,048 --> 01:22:57,839
But in the long run,

975
01:22:57,839 --> 01:23:00,173
I couldn't hold onto
the details of him,

976
01:23:00,173 --> 01:23:02,587
no matter how hard I tried.

977
01:23:03,464 --> 01:23:05,257
So, you could say that in a way,

978
01:23:05,257 --> 01:23:08,923
Jerome followed you
as a kind of silhouette.

979
01:23:08,923 --> 01:23:12,631
Yes, but gradually disappearing
as a sexual being.

980
01:23:12,631 --> 01:23:17,839
Maybe that's how it is with memory.
You remember silhouettes.

981
01:23:17,839 --> 01:23:19,714
The essentials.

982
01:23:19,714 --> 01:23:22,629
But that's not necessarily
a bad thing.

983
01:23:26,798 --> 01:23:29,048
Of course
there's silhouettes in the winter.

984
01:23:29,048 --> 01:23:31,340
The trees are difficult
to tell apart.

985
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,923
These buds...

986
01:23:32,923 --> 01:23:34,839
My father
wrestled courageously

987
01:23:34,839 --> 01:23:37,837
with his flora
and tree type guides.

988
01:23:39,548 --> 01:23:40,921
It's actually...

989
01:23:43,131 --> 01:23:46,796
the souls of the trees
we see in the winter.

990
01:23:47,422 --> 01:23:49,215
In summer, everything's
green and idyllic,

991
01:23:49,215 --> 01:23:54,048
but in the winter, the branches
and the trunks, they all stand out.

992
01:23:54,048 --> 01:23:56,295
Look at how crooked they all are.

993
01:23:58,215 --> 01:24:01,295
The branches have to carry
all of the leaves into the sunlight.

994
01:24:02,798 --> 01:24:05,754
It's one long struggle for survival.

995
01:24:08,965 --> 01:24:12,006
My father surprised
me by calling the naked trunks

996
01:24:12,006 --> 01:24:14,213
the souls of the trees.

997
01:24:14,965 --> 01:24:17,756
A poetic thought
that was rare for him,

998
01:24:17,756 --> 01:24:21,420
as by his own account, he preferred
the empirical sciences.

999
01:24:25,173 --> 01:24:26,712
And after Jerome?

1000
01:24:28,048 --> 01:24:30,756
I reacted, um...

1001
01:24:30,756 --> 01:24:34,129
Well, let's just say... aggressively.

1002
01:24:35,173 --> 01:24:39,712
- How?
- By intensifying my hunt for men.

1003
01:24:42,506 --> 01:24:44,631
You know
these supermarket doors

1004
01:24:44,631 --> 01:24:47,546
that open and close by way
of some kind of sensor?

1005
01:24:48,381 --> 01:24:51,214
Now compare these doors
to my cunt,

1006
01:24:51,214 --> 01:24:54,504
and add an extraordinarily
sensitive sensor.

1007
01:24:56,631 --> 01:25:00,422
My sensitive door opening
gave me an opportunity

1008
01:25:00,422 --> 01:25:05,212
to develop my morphological studies
from knees to genitals.

1009
01:25:10,256 --> 01:25:15,256
I embarked on a trip through, what,
in the lingo of children's books,

1010
01:25:15,256 --> 01:25:19,087
one might call, "The Country
of the Big, Bad Cocks."

1011
01:25:21,673 --> 01:25:25,629
"The Country of the Small
Yellow Cocks," and so on.

1012
01:25:26,339 --> 01:25:28,589
And most of all, I battled my way

1013
01:25:28,589 --> 01:25:31,420
through an untold number
of circumcised cocks.

1014
01:25:33,256 --> 01:25:36,172
By the way, did you know
that if you combine

1015
01:25:36,172 --> 01:25:38,923
all the foreskin cut off
through history,

1016
01:25:38,923 --> 01:25:41,879
it would reach to Mars
and back again?

1017
01:26:01,047 --> 01:26:02,504
"Mrs. H."

1018
01:26:18,047 --> 01:26:21,130
By now, I had
built up a sizable circle of men,

1019
01:26:21,130 --> 01:26:24,922
and was starting to have trouble
remembering who was who.

1020
01:26:24,922 --> 01:26:26,964
Hello, sweetheart.
Want to meet?

1021
01:26:26,964 --> 01:26:28,673
It's Fisher.

1022
01:26:28,673 --> 01:26:31,631
I'm lying here thinking
of you and what you said.

1023
01:26:31,631 --> 01:26:33,798
I'm not angry at all if that's
what you're thinking.

1024
01:26:33,798 --> 01:26:36,339
Hi, Joe. It's Rob again.

1025
01:26:36,339 --> 01:26:38,047
I had a really
good time seeing you.

1026
01:26:38,047 --> 01:26:39,589
Give me a... Give me a call.

1027
01:26:39,589 --> 01:26:41,673
Hi, Joe.

1028
01:26:41,673 --> 01:26:44,089
I left a couple of messages.
Is everything all right?

1029
01:26:44,089 --> 01:26:46,798
I quickly gave up
trying to remember

1030
01:26:46,798 --> 01:26:51,506
the individual relationships.
It was impossible.

1031
01:26:51,506 --> 01:26:54,920
And impossible to predict
what they wanted to hear.

1032
01:26:56,214 --> 01:26:58,128
So I invented a method.

1033
01:27:01,631 --> 01:27:04,003
It was all based on chance.

1034
01:27:07,464 --> 01:27:10,462
A one meant
an overly loving answer.

1035
01:27:13,880 --> 01:27:17,087
A two, not quite as passionate,
but still positive.

1036
01:27:17,838 --> 01:27:21,130
And so on, up to five,
which was a complete rejection.

1037
01:27:21,130 --> 01:27:23,962
And six, no answer at all.

1038
01:27:26,589 --> 01:27:30,631
The trick with this method
was that I didn't have to worry about

1039
01:27:30,631 --> 01:27:32,714
the individual relationships,

1040
01:27:32,714 --> 01:27:35,922
but instead became
completely unpredictable,

1041
01:27:35,922 --> 01:27:39,087
which, of course,
drove the men even wilder.

1042
01:27:41,172 --> 01:27:42,922
Hey, Eddie, it's me.

1043
01:27:42,922 --> 01:27:44,797
Listen, I've given this
a lot of thought,

1044
01:27:44,797 --> 01:27:47,878
and I've come to the conclusion
that we're done. Bye.

1045
01:27:49,172 --> 01:27:52,256
I was just wondering
if you wanted to come back,

1046
01:27:52,256 --> 01:27:54,464
and maybe we can
do something nice.

1047
01:27:54,464 --> 01:27:57,214
Hi, Patrick, it's Joe.

1048
01:27:57,214 --> 01:28:00,838
I had a really lovely time with you,
and I'd love for you to come back.

1049
01:28:00,838 --> 01:28:04,172
If you're interested,
let me know. Bye.

1050
01:28:04,172 --> 01:28:08,087
I really don't think we match,
and you're quite annoying,

1051
01:28:08,964 --> 01:28:12,504
so I don't want to see you anymore.
Please don't call back.

1052
01:28:13,506 --> 01:28:15,589
That sounds rather stressful.

1053
01:28:15,589 --> 01:28:17,589
Yes, actually, it was.

1054
01:28:17,589 --> 01:28:21,504
But fortunately, I had
my little book of comfort.

1055
01:28:23,172 --> 01:28:28,797
When I needed comfort or peace,
I took out my herbarium

1056
01:28:28,797 --> 01:28:30,838
and looked at my favorite leaves.

1057
01:28:30,838 --> 01:28:35,254
Ash, trembling aspen and lime.

1058
01:28:43,297 --> 01:28:45,713
When you're dealing
with a larger group of lovers

1059
01:28:45,713 --> 01:28:50,588
as I was, there will typically be
a difference in their qualities.

1060
01:28:50,588 --> 01:28:52,922
H was a sticky bastard.

1061
01:28:52,922 --> 01:28:57,089
I had invited A for dinner,
as he was my favorite,

1062
01:28:57,089 --> 01:29:01,422
while H, who was present,
had become quite irritating.

1063
01:29:01,422 --> 01:29:03,755
You have to leave.
I've got guests for dinner.

1064
01:29:03,755 --> 01:29:05,462
But he's not coming until seven.

1065
01:29:06,630 --> 01:29:09,836
No. But seven isn't that far away.

1066
01:29:18,297 --> 01:29:19,962
Do you love me?

1067
01:29:22,505 --> 01:29:25,297
A was to arrive at seven,

1068
01:29:25,297 --> 01:29:28,003
and I needed to get H
out of there.

1069
01:29:30,797 --> 01:29:32,254
I love you too much.

1070
01:29:33,964 --> 01:29:37,172
You keep promising,
but I understand now

1071
01:29:37,172 --> 01:29:40,711
that you'll never leave
your family for my sake.

1072
01:29:42,755 --> 01:29:44,545
It's sad, but...

1073
01:29:46,588 --> 01:29:47,753
it's your choice.

1074
01:29:49,588 --> 01:29:52,753
It's not satisfying for me that
I can't have you completely.

1075
01:29:56,380 --> 01:29:59,003
Which is why we can't
see each other any longer.

1076
01:30:03,713 --> 01:30:04,753
Goodbye.

1077
01:30:09,297 --> 01:30:10,295
Look...

1078
01:30:15,463 --> 01:30:17,461
Have a nice life.

1079
01:30:43,421 --> 01:30:46,461
My darling, I'm yours.

1080
01:30:47,172 --> 01:30:48,419
I've left her.

1081
01:30:56,672 --> 01:30:59,586
- Has he gone inside?
- Yes.

1082
01:31:00,964 --> 01:31:02,711
Is the door closed?

1083
01:31:14,713 --> 01:31:17,213
- Uh, hello.
- Hello.

1084
01:31:17,213 --> 01:31:20,255
Apologize. We, uh...

1085
01:31:20,255 --> 01:31:22,922
had promised not to come up.

1086
01:31:22,922 --> 01:31:25,838
We just wanted to...

1087
01:31:25,838 --> 01:31:29,338
make sure he got here safely,
now that he's...

1088
01:31:29,338 --> 01:31:30,878
made the big decision.

1089
01:31:32,338 --> 01:31:36,255
May the children see him inside?

1090
01:31:36,255 --> 01:31:39,047
They say that the experience
of saying goodbye

1091
01:31:39,047 --> 01:31:42,003
can be very useful later
when dealing with trauma.

1092
01:31:58,922 --> 01:32:00,211
What a nice place.

1093
01:32:01,713 --> 01:32:04,628
It's, uh... so bohemian.

1094
01:32:06,171 --> 01:32:08,505
We used to have a place
like this before we were...

1095
01:32:08,505 --> 01:32:10,380
we were married.

1096
01:32:10,380 --> 01:32:13,836
Before the children,
me and my husband.

1097
01:32:15,213 --> 01:32:19,378
Oh, I'm sorry.
He isn't anymore, is he?

1098
01:32:20,171 --> 01:32:22,711
It's all so new and confusing.

1099
01:32:27,338 --> 01:32:30,419
He wanted to give us
everything, but, uh...

1100
01:32:31,588 --> 01:32:33,628
Of course we couldn't accept that.

1101
01:32:35,880 --> 01:32:37,336
Oh, that's right.

1102
01:32:38,171 --> 01:32:41,171
- You need the car key.
- No, I don't need the car.

1103
01:32:41,171 --> 01:32:43,213
Oh, yes, you do.

1104
01:32:43,213 --> 01:32:44,711
He likes the car.

1105
01:32:46,213 --> 01:32:47,880
Here.

1106
01:32:47,880 --> 01:32:49,921
- Please, just take it.
- I don't want it.

1107
01:32:49,921 --> 01:32:52,628
- Just take it.
- I don't want the fucking car!

1108
01:32:56,505 --> 01:33:00,253
It's all right.
We'll get the bus home.

1109
01:33:00,921 --> 01:33:03,919
Children might as well get used
to public transport now, right?

1110
01:33:05,088 --> 01:33:08,836
Of course, their standard of living
won't be the same anymore, but...

1111
01:33:13,255 --> 01:33:15,503
I'm not saying that
to bother anyone.

1112
01:33:16,505 --> 01:33:18,086
One has to be realistic.

1113
01:33:22,296 --> 01:33:23,545
Hey.

1114
01:33:25,713 --> 01:33:27,046
What's this?

1115
01:33:27,046 --> 01:33:28,961
It's a present.

1116
01:33:29,879 --> 01:33:33,044
A pillow he has embroidered himself.

1117
01:33:34,630 --> 01:33:36,461
- And who's it for?
- Daddy.

1118
01:33:38,505 --> 01:33:40,755
I do hope it's all right
if the children

1119
01:33:40,755 --> 01:33:42,255
call their father "Daddy" here.

1120
01:33:42,255 --> 01:33:45,963
If you prefer, they can call him...

1121
01:33:45,963 --> 01:33:50,129
"him," or simply, "the man."

1122
01:33:50,129 --> 01:33:52,670
Whatever.

1123
01:33:56,588 --> 01:33:58,253
"Whatever."

1124
01:33:59,463 --> 01:34:01,835
Must be hard when
you've got everything,

1125
01:34:02,713 --> 01:34:04,253
to know what to say.

1126
01:34:05,380 --> 01:34:07,380
To be honest,
my first thought was never,

1127
01:34:07,380 --> 01:34:09,547
ever to let either
of you see the children,

1128
01:34:09,547 --> 01:34:11,963
but then I changed my mind.

1129
01:34:11,963 --> 01:34:14,505
I thought it only right that
their father be confronted

1130
01:34:14,505 --> 01:34:17,002
by the little people
whose lives he's destroyed.

1131
01:34:19,088 --> 01:34:20,877
Give Daddy your present.

1132
01:34:24,547 --> 01:34:27,710
It's a car the little dear
has embroidered.

1133
01:34:29,630 --> 01:34:32,505
I'm aware that
not everyone can see it, but...

1134
01:34:32,505 --> 01:34:35,338
with the heart one can see much,

1135
01:34:35,338 --> 01:34:38,669
however unimportant that
information may be to you.

1136
01:34:40,547 --> 01:34:45,213
Would it be all right if I show
the children the whoring bed?

1137
01:34:45,213 --> 01:34:49,669
After all, they also had
a stake in this event.

1138
01:34:53,380 --> 01:34:55,461
You need to see it.
Right?

1139
01:34:56,463 --> 01:34:58,336
Let's go see
Daddy's favorite place.

1140
01:34:59,421 --> 01:35:01,585
Come on, boys.

1141
01:35:02,963 --> 01:35:04,877
Oh!

1142
01:35:07,171 --> 01:35:11,253
So this is where it all happened.

1143
01:35:17,754 --> 01:35:20,710
You should try to
memorize this room.

1144
01:35:21,338 --> 01:35:23,378
Especially the bed.

1145
01:35:23,963 --> 01:35:26,837
It'll stand you in good stead
later in therapy.

1146
01:35:26,837 --> 01:35:28,338
Oh.

1147
01:35:28,338 --> 01:35:30,921
Here I sit rambling on about therapy

1148
01:35:30,921 --> 01:35:33,129
without a thought
of what it might cost.

1149
01:35:33,129 --> 01:35:36,169
I do hope you don't think
we're here to beg.

1150
01:35:40,004 --> 01:35:41,587
I'm sorry.

1151
01:35:41,587 --> 01:35:43,921
I'm sorry.

1152
01:35:43,921 --> 01:35:46,544
Being silly. Mommy's being silly.

1153
01:35:47,171 --> 01:35:49,627
Let's have a cup of tea.

1154
01:36:08,255 --> 01:36:10,587
Hope it's not too weak.

1155
01:36:10,587 --> 01:36:13,294
Afraid I'm rather nervous.

1156
01:36:19,504 --> 01:36:23,253
The children's father likes
two lumps of sugar in his tea.

1157
01:36:41,587 --> 01:36:43,420
Mm-mm.
I'll get it.

1158
01:36:43,420 --> 01:36:45,627
Mm-mm.
- No, no, please, please.

1159
01:36:47,712 --> 01:36:50,255
- Hello.
- Hello.

1160
01:36:50,255 --> 01:36:52,255
- Yes?
- Uh...

1161
01:36:52,255 --> 01:36:54,796
How nice. Lovely.

1162
01:36:54,796 --> 01:36:58,337
- Boys, come here.
- Is Joe here?

1163
01:36:58,337 --> 01:36:59,502
This might be interesting.

1164
01:37:01,754 --> 01:37:03,046
- This is my son.
- Yes.

1165
01:37:03,046 --> 01:37:04,796
- Yes.
- Hello, hello.

1166
01:37:04,796 --> 01:37:07,462
- Look him in the eyes.
- I'm Andy. Hello.

1167
01:37:07,462 --> 01:37:09,504
- Friend of Joe's then?
- Yeah.

1168
01:37:09,504 --> 01:37:13,129
- You known each other long?
- Uh... Not that long, no.

1169
01:37:13,129 --> 01:37:14,921
- Not very long?
- No.

1170
01:37:14,921 --> 01:37:15,794
Oh.

1171
01:37:23,671 --> 01:37:25,961
A menage-a-trois.

1172
01:37:28,046 --> 01:37:30,254
It's all so exotic.

1173
01:37:30,254 --> 01:37:33,044
So broad-minded.

1174
01:37:34,754 --> 01:37:38,460
On that point... I failed.

1175
01:37:39,462 --> 01:37:40,794
No doubt about it.

1176
01:37:43,337 --> 01:37:47,254
Boys, now is the time to be alert,

1177
01:37:47,254 --> 01:37:50,752
and ask all the questions
your heart's desire.

1178
01:37:52,254 --> 01:37:54,796
Because...

1179
01:37:54,796 --> 01:37:58,088
I hope that you shall
never have to encounter

1180
01:37:58,088 --> 01:38:01,335
such people or be in such
a situation ever again.

1181
01:38:03,337 --> 01:38:06,877
Well, hmm?
You don't have any questions?

1182
01:38:07,796 --> 01:38:09,126
No?

1183
01:38:11,629 --> 01:38:14,420
Well, I'll start, shall I?

1184
01:38:14,420 --> 01:38:17,087
Approximately, how many lives...

1185
01:38:17,087 --> 01:38:20,504
do you think she has time
to destroy in one day?

1186
01:38:20,504 --> 01:38:23,585
Five? 50?

1187
01:38:24,712 --> 01:38:26,710
Or several hundreds?

1188
01:38:27,837 --> 01:38:30,879
I admit the latter sounds improbable,

1189
01:38:30,879 --> 01:38:34,710
but where there's a will
there's a way.

1190
01:38:42,963 --> 01:38:46,585
Look, this is just
a big misunderstanding.

1191
01:38:51,504 --> 01:38:53,001
Boys?

1192
01:38:55,254 --> 01:38:57,377
I don't... I don't love your father.

1193
01:38:58,796 --> 01:39:01,379
She's just saying that
to make us feel better.

1194
01:39:01,379 --> 01:39:03,210
I'm sure you understand that.

1195
01:39:04,003 --> 01:39:06,293
Because if it were a joke,
I mean...

1196
01:39:07,420 --> 01:39:12,210
If... this were really a joke,
then it would be a joke so cruel.

1197
01:39:17,671 --> 01:39:21,126
No one can be that cruel.

1198
01:39:24,587 --> 01:39:27,671
They say that even the Huns
on their rampage

1199
01:39:27,671 --> 01:39:31,460
were rather unreserved,
but to split up a family...

1200
01:39:34,796 --> 01:39:38,878
To destroy a mesh of feelings
woven over 20 years

1201
01:39:38,878 --> 01:39:41,918
is no joke, I can assure you.

1202
01:39:51,920 --> 01:39:53,168
Well...

1203
01:39:54,796 --> 01:39:57,629
If three's a crowd,
then seven must be

1204
01:39:57,629 --> 01:40:00,293
a bit of a challenge
for the pretty miss.

1205
01:40:02,420 --> 01:40:07,001
I must say I have a hard time
picturing her enjoying loneliness.

1206
01:40:09,420 --> 01:40:12,920
I think we better grab
the chance to get away

1207
01:40:12,920 --> 01:40:15,335
before things become grotesque.

1208
01:40:18,379 --> 01:40:21,418
No, no, no!

1209
01:40:24,003 --> 01:40:27,168
You wouldn't want to give your father
a guilty conscience now, would you?

1210
01:41:05,170 --> 01:41:07,335
So how did this episode
affect your life?

1211
01:41:08,711 --> 01:41:10,043
Not at all.

1212
01:41:12,254 --> 01:41:15,001
- Not at all?
- No.

1213
01:41:15,962 --> 01:41:19,001
You can't make an omelet
without breaking a few eggs.

1214
01:41:23,628 --> 01:41:25,460
Well, that's true.

1215
01:41:28,462 --> 01:41:32,045
Some people... blame the addict.

1216
01:41:32,045 --> 01:41:36,212
Other people feel sorry
for the addict.

1217
01:41:36,212 --> 01:41:40,834
But I was an addict out of lust,
not out of need.

1218
01:41:41,586 --> 01:41:43,377
You would say that, wouldn't you?

1219
01:41:44,254 --> 01:41:47,836
And lust that led to
destruction around me,

1220
01:41:47,836 --> 01:41:49,293
everywhere I went.

1221
01:41:51,003 --> 01:41:55,711
Well, addiction
sometimes leads to an...

1222
01:41:55,711 --> 01:41:57,543
absence of empathy.

1223
01:41:59,337 --> 01:42:00,711
You can't fight a lion

1224
01:42:00,711 --> 01:42:03,335
and blow the noses
of your children at the same time.

1225
01:42:05,920 --> 01:42:09,001
For me, nymphomania
was callousness.

1226
01:42:12,254 --> 01:42:13,960
You're very stubborn.

1227
01:42:14,920 --> 01:42:17,085
But what about yourself?

1228
01:42:18,003 --> 01:42:20,501
How did you feel during all this?

1229
01:42:30,461 --> 01:42:33,501
Did you feel good,
or did you feel bad?

1230
01:42:41,545 --> 01:42:44,212
It's funny because
when I think about my life

1231
01:42:44,212 --> 01:42:49,045
as a whole, I can only say
that I felt good.

1232
01:42:49,045 --> 01:42:53,753
But when I try and remember
a specific episode,

1233
01:42:53,753 --> 01:42:57,170
I'd say that just then
I felt rather bad.

1234
01:42:57,170 --> 01:42:58,751
In what way?

1235
01:43:04,378 --> 01:43:07,459
Mrs. H was right
about the loneliness.

1236
01:43:08,254 --> 01:43:12,543
I'd be lying if I said it hadn't
been my constant companion.

1237
01:43:15,378 --> 01:43:19,501
So you were with all
these men, and you still felt alone?

1238
01:43:26,628 --> 01:43:28,960
I didn't want to tell you about it.

1239
01:43:30,586 --> 01:43:33,085
But you've led me into a trap.

1240
01:43:36,336 --> 01:43:38,876
It was a certain feeling.

1241
01:43:43,711 --> 01:43:48,251
Oh, how awful that everything
has to be so trivial.

1242
01:43:57,753 --> 01:44:00,670
When I was seven
I had to have an operation.

1243
01:44:00,670 --> 01:44:03,960
Nothing serious, but it did
require anesthesia.

1244
01:44:06,169 --> 01:44:10,626
I had already been pre-medicated,
and was feeling all right.

1245
01:44:11,795 --> 01:44:14,795
But when I looked into the room
where the doctors and nurses

1246
01:44:14,795 --> 01:44:18,045
were preparing for the operation,

1247
01:44:18,045 --> 01:44:20,545
it was as if had to pass through

1248
01:44:20,545 --> 01:44:24,501
an impenetrable gate
all by myself.

1249
01:44:26,920 --> 01:44:29,628
It wasn't just that
I missed my mom.

1250
01:44:29,628 --> 01:44:32,169
I don't think I missed my dad,

1251
01:44:32,169 --> 01:44:33,960
even though he was
the nice one.

1252
01:44:34,795 --> 01:44:39,209
It was as if I was completely alone
in the universe.

1253
01:44:41,294 --> 01:44:46,084
As if my whole body was filled
with loneliness and tears.

1254
01:45:09,294 --> 01:45:13,084
And I'm still not allowed
to feel sorry for you?

1255
01:45:14,920 --> 01:45:16,668
Shall we go on?

1256
01:45:42,419 --> 01:45:44,419
What are you reading?

1257
01:45:44,419 --> 01:45:47,378
I'm not
reading it really, I'm just...

1258
01:45:47,378 --> 01:45:50,042
reacquainting myself
with Edgar Allan Poe.

1259
01:45:51,253 --> 01:45:52,417
I don't know him.

1260
01:45:53,836 --> 01:45:55,751
Well, he was a...

1261
01:45:57,753 --> 01:45:59,875
very anxiety-ridden man.

1262
01:46:05,961 --> 01:46:10,086
He died in the most fearful way
you can imagine,

1263
01:46:10,086 --> 01:46:12,084
in something called delirium tremens.

1264
01:46:15,169 --> 01:46:19,919
It occurs when the long-time
abuse of alcohol is followed by...

1265
01:46:19,919 --> 01:46:22,167
by a sudden abstinence.

1266
01:46:24,169 --> 01:46:27,751
Your body goes into some kind
of hyper-sensitive shock.

1267
01:46:28,753 --> 01:46:31,919
You can see the most
horrifying hallucinations

1268
01:46:31,919 --> 01:46:37,378
or rats and snakes, and cockroaches
coming out of the floor,

1269
01:46:37,378 --> 01:46:40,626
and worms slithering the walls.

1270
01:46:43,503 --> 01:46:47,253
One's entire nervous system
is on high alert,

1271
01:46:47,253 --> 01:46:49,875
and you have a constant
panic and paranoia.

1272
01:46:51,711 --> 01:46:54,251
And then the
circulatory system fails.

1273
01:46:55,086 --> 01:46:57,628
But the panic and horror...

1274
01:46:57,628 --> 01:47:00,626
remains until
the moment of death.

1275
01:47:17,127 --> 01:47:19,084
I know what delirium is.

1276
01:47:23,419 --> 01:47:24,752
"During the whole

1277
01:47:24,752 --> 01:47:26,503
of a dull, dark and soundless day

1278
01:47:26,503 --> 01:47:29,710
in the autumn of the year,
when the clouds hung

1279
01:47:29,710 --> 01:47:32,461
oppressively low in the heavens,

1280
01:47:32,461 --> 01:47:35,710
I had been passing alone
on horseback

1281
01:47:35,710 --> 01:47:39,419
through a singularly
dreary tract of country;

1282
01:47:39,419 --> 01:47:41,294
and at length found myself

1283
01:47:41,294 --> 01:47:44,211
as the shades of
the evening drew on,

1284
01:47:44,211 --> 01:47:48,334
within view of the melancholy
House of Usher."

1285
01:48:18,086 --> 01:48:19,959
Hey, Dad.

1286
01:48:31,627 --> 01:48:32,625
Hi, love.

1287
01:48:35,253 --> 01:48:36,583
How are you?

1288
01:48:38,502 --> 01:48:40,000
I fought with Mom.

1289
01:48:41,794 --> 01:48:44,292
She's... She's not coming.

1290
01:48:48,877 --> 01:48:51,336
You ought not to fight with her.

1291
01:48:51,336 --> 01:48:53,708
You know Kay's fear of hospitals.

1292
01:48:57,378 --> 01:48:59,585
I know
she's not coming.

1293
01:48:59,585 --> 01:49:02,292
We already said everything
we needed to say.

1294
01:49:05,253 --> 01:49:07,084
Kay and I said goodbye at home.

1295
01:49:08,585 --> 01:49:10,542
I don't want her here at all.

1296
01:49:14,002 --> 01:49:18,000
- I can't accept that.
- You'll have to.

1297
01:49:18,961 --> 01:49:21,750
She's a cowardly, stupid bitch.

1298
01:49:23,460 --> 01:49:24,917
No, she's not.

1299
01:49:26,169 --> 01:49:28,127
- Yeah.
- No, she's not.

1300
01:49:28,127 --> 01:49:29,669
- Yes.
- No, she's not.

1301
01:49:29,669 --> 01:49:32,251
Yes, she is.
You've never understood that.

1302
01:49:47,418 --> 01:49:49,084
Doesn't it scare you?

1303
01:49:51,086 --> 01:49:56,792
No.

1304
01:49:59,794 --> 01:50:01,959
How can you not be afraid?

1305
01:50:06,877 --> 01:50:08,875
I've seen so many die.

1306
01:50:11,252 --> 01:50:14,585
And there's that Epicurus quote

1307
01:50:14,585 --> 01:50:16,333
about not fearing death.

1308
01:50:17,752 --> 01:50:21,418
"When we are, death has not come.

1309
01:50:21,418 --> 01:50:25,875
When death has come... we are not."

1310
01:50:30,293 --> 01:50:32,500
You know it's going to happen.

1311
01:50:33,127 --> 01:50:36,585
I also know all the drugs
the doctors have to offer.

1312
01:50:36,585 --> 01:50:38,124
So, no.

1313
01:50:39,086 --> 01:50:41,002
I am not...

1314
01:50:41,002 --> 01:50:43,124
I am not afraid.

1315
01:50:45,044 --> 01:50:47,833
Hmm. My beautiful girl.

1316
01:50:49,794 --> 01:50:51,708
Beautiful dad.

1317
01:50:58,961 --> 01:51:00,752
Hello, Doctor.

1318
01:51:00,752 --> 01:51:03,794
Hello, Doctor.
This is my daughter Joe.

1319
01:51:03,794 --> 01:51:05,416
- Hey, Joe.
- Hi.

1320
01:51:08,168 --> 01:51:10,085
Do you need anything?

1321
01:51:10,085 --> 01:51:13,502
As I've said, I've decided to be

1322
01:51:13,502 --> 01:51:16,085
an exemplary patient,
completely subjecting myself

1323
01:51:16,085 --> 01:51:18,750
- to doctor's orders.
- Are you in pain?

1324
01:51:20,544 --> 01:51:22,002
I don't think so, no.

1325
01:51:22,002 --> 01:51:24,083
We're going to give you
a splash all the same.

1326
01:51:45,544 --> 01:51:47,083
Your hair is longer.

1327
01:51:49,669 --> 01:51:51,333
No, it's not.

1328
01:51:54,418 --> 01:51:56,500
They're giving you
too much medication.

1329
01:52:07,126 --> 01:52:07,833
No.

1330
01:52:09,335 --> 01:52:10,875
Dad.

1331
01:52:11,669 --> 01:52:15,252
It's okay, Dad.
You're just dreaming.

1332
01:52:15,252 --> 01:52:19,833
You're having a nightmare.

1333
01:52:21,335 --> 01:52:24,708
It's okay.

1334
01:52:42,335 --> 01:52:44,832
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

1335
01:52:47,544 --> 01:52:50,667
Okay. Don't worry, I'm going
to get the doctor. Don't worry.

1336
01:53:07,377 --> 01:53:09,375
You must be exhausted.

1337
01:53:11,043 --> 01:53:12,333
I'm fine.

1338
01:53:13,168 --> 01:53:15,583
I think you should go home,
get some rest.

1339
01:53:17,377 --> 01:53:20,458
No. Someone needs to be here.

1340
01:53:22,335 --> 01:53:25,208
Perhaps you could share
with some other family members.

1341
01:53:28,627 --> 01:53:30,416
There aren't any others.

1342
01:54:04,709 --> 01:54:06,418
Kay!

1343
01:54:06,418 --> 01:54:09,584
Daddy, it's okay.

1344
01:54:09,584 --> 01:54:12,500
Kay?

1345
01:54:16,377 --> 01:54:17,876
Kay.

1346
01:54:17,876 --> 01:54:20,666
Kay. Kay.

1347
01:54:26,335 --> 01:54:29,876
Kay.

1348
01:54:29,876 --> 01:54:32,543
Kay! Kay.

1349
01:54:32,543 --> 01:54:35,709
- Kay!
- I'm going to get the doctor.

1350
01:54:35,709 --> 01:54:37,252
Kay!

1351
01:54:37,252 --> 01:54:38,874
I'm going to get the doctor, Daddy.

1352
01:54:42,293 --> 01:54:46,418
Excuse me. My dad is really unwell.

1353
01:54:46,418 --> 01:54:48,666
Sit. I'll go have a look.

1354
01:54:50,418 --> 01:54:52,460
Maybe you could give him
some more morphine.

1355
01:54:52,460 --> 01:54:55,124
There's something
I'd like to explain.

1356
01:54:56,709 --> 01:54:58,501
I can certainly give him
more morphine,

1357
01:54:58,501 --> 01:55:01,707
but most likely it won't
make much difference.

1358
01:55:02,709 --> 01:55:07,210
Most deaths, fortunately,
are uneventful,

1359
01:55:07,210 --> 01:55:12,751
as long as you medicate the patients
to keep them free of fear and pain.

1360
01:55:12,751 --> 01:55:15,751
In a few cases,
the process of dying

1361
01:55:15,751 --> 01:55:17,541
causes brain damage,

1362
01:55:18,751 --> 01:55:20,999
which triggers
what we call delirium.

1363
01:55:21,751 --> 01:55:26,582
That's not something we can soften
with morphine, unfortunately.

1364
01:55:45,210 --> 01:55:46,666
Daddy.

1365
01:55:56,876 --> 01:55:58,582
It's gonna be okay.

1366
01:56:10,417 --> 01:56:13,290
I don't know
what's happening to me.

1367
01:56:30,209 --> 01:56:32,459
Don't you want to take a little walk?

1368
01:56:32,459 --> 01:56:34,791
I'll stay with your father
in the meantime.

1369
01:56:35,334 --> 01:56:38,209
You'll stay?
You'll stay here?

1370
01:56:38,209 --> 01:56:39,207
Yes.

1371
01:57:36,584 --> 01:57:38,499
Ash tree leaves.

1372
01:57:40,960 --> 01:57:42,749
Where did you find them?

1373
01:57:43,251 --> 01:57:45,123
They were in the park.

1374
01:57:53,251 --> 01:57:56,207
It truly is the most beautiful
tree in the forest.

1375
01:58:00,501 --> 01:58:02,793
But Dad...

1376
01:58:02,793 --> 01:58:05,749
How do you recognize it
in winter?

1377
01:58:06,751 --> 01:58:08,666
Told you 100 times.

1378
01:58:10,709 --> 01:58:12,415
I can't remember.

1379
01:58:17,167 --> 01:58:20,207
When the ash tree was created...

1380
01:58:22,834 --> 01:58:25,791
it made all the other trees
in the forest jealous,

1381
01:58:26,876 --> 01:58:28,666
because it was...

1382
01:58:30,959 --> 01:58:33,582
It was the most beautiful tree
in the forest.

1383
01:58:37,084 --> 01:58:38,915
It had the strongest wood.

1384
01:58:40,084 --> 01:58:41,873
It could be used for anything.

1385
01:58:44,543 --> 01:58:48,415
It was the World Tree
in Norse mythology.

1386
01:58:49,917 --> 01:58:52,873
You couldn't say
anything bad about it.

1387
01:58:57,084 --> 01:59:00,875
And then when all the other
trees saw the ash tree

1388
01:59:00,875 --> 01:59:03,957
with its black buds...

1389
01:59:05,042 --> 01:59:07,123
they all started laughing.

1390
01:59:08,042 --> 01:59:09,541
"Oh, look.

1391
01:59:10,792 --> 01:59:14,374
The ash tree's had its fingers
in the ashes."

1392
01:59:31,501 --> 01:59:34,792
Dad. Daddy!

1393
01:59:34,792 --> 01:59:36,833
Daddy. Daddy, what's wrong?

1394
01:59:36,833 --> 01:59:38,123
Daddy, what's wrong?

1395
01:59:41,709 --> 01:59:44,334
Daddy, it's me!
It's me, then. It's me!

1396
01:59:44,334 --> 01:59:47,207
Help! Help!

1397
01:59:49,917 --> 01:59:51,125
Okay.

1398
01:59:51,125 --> 01:59:53,290
Okay.

1399
01:59:56,334 --> 01:59:58,790
Okay. It's okay, it's okay.
It's all right.

1400
02:00:02,667 --> 02:00:04,457
It's all right.

1401
02:00:14,750 --> 02:00:17,042
We have to fixate him.

1402
02:00:17,042 --> 02:00:20,582
What are you doing?
What are you doing to me?

1403
02:00:25,667 --> 02:00:28,915
Joe! What are
you doing to me?

1404
02:00:43,125 --> 02:00:44,082
Joe!

1405
02:00:44,625 --> 02:00:47,501
Joe!

1406
02:00:47,501 --> 02:00:49,998
I'm sorry.

1407
02:00:55,167 --> 02:00:56,581
You should take a break.

1408
02:02:30,291 --> 02:02:32,040
Excuse me.

1409
02:02:39,333 --> 02:02:41,167
Okay, don't worry.

1410
02:02:41,167 --> 02:02:43,831
Just clean that up.

1411
02:03:30,833 --> 02:03:32,248
Ready?

1412
02:04:35,500 --> 02:04:39,790
When he died,
I had no feelings left.

1413
02:04:40,750 --> 02:04:43,081
Well,
that's certainly understandable.

1414
02:04:43,875 --> 02:04:46,956
No. I don't know
what happened to me.

1415
02:04:48,208 --> 02:04:49,748
It was very shameful.

1416
02:04:50,875 --> 02:04:54,623
Shameful?
I don't understand.

1417
02:05:20,458 --> 02:05:22,665
I lubricated.

1418
02:05:40,375 --> 02:05:42,708
I know you like to present
yourself in a negative way,

1419
02:05:42,708 --> 02:05:45,291
and that you have this,
kind of dark bias

1420
02:05:45,291 --> 02:05:47,373
that you're worse
than everyone else.

1421
02:05:48,041 --> 02:05:49,956
But this story doesn't
add to that belief.

1422
02:05:52,333 --> 02:05:55,706
It's extremely common
to react sexually in a crisis.

1423
02:05:56,500 --> 02:05:59,083
It may be shameful to you, but...

1424
02:05:59,083 --> 02:06:02,581
in literature,
there is many worse examples.

1425
02:06:06,333 --> 02:06:08,665
But I did inherit
my father's caliper.

1426
02:06:11,166 --> 02:06:15,830
I found it so beautiful
and worn by its use.

1427
02:06:17,041 --> 02:06:19,289
What else did you receive?

1428
02:06:22,041 --> 02:06:23,331
Nothing.

1429
02:06:25,124 --> 02:06:27,583
I didn't have the strength
to argue with my mother,

1430
02:06:27,583 --> 02:06:30,958
so I wrote off any further
part of my inheritance.

1431
02:06:30,958 --> 02:06:35,997
Really?
Well, that's a dramatic gesture.

1432
02:06:39,291 --> 02:06:42,749
- You listen to music, I see?
- Yes.

1433
02:06:42,749 --> 02:06:46,916
I like it a lot.
Shall I find a tape?

1434
02:06:46,916 --> 02:06:51,747
No, if there's a tape already
in the machine? I'd like to hear that.

1435
02:06:52,291 --> 02:06:54,333
It's something I've been
listening to a lot lately,

1436
02:06:54,333 --> 02:06:57,622
though it's not an entirely complete
recording, unfortunately.

1437
02:06:58,250 --> 02:07:00,916
- What is it?
- It's Bach.

1438
02:07:00,916 --> 02:07:03,664
From his little organ book.

1439
02:07:10,666 --> 02:07:12,956
The theme is originally a hymn,

1440
02:07:13,832 --> 02:07:17,206
Bach rearranged it
and embellished it a little.

1441
02:07:18,208 --> 02:07:21,416
He was the master at polyphony,
if you know what that is.

1442
02:07:21,416 --> 02:07:24,083
No, yet another thing I don't know.

1443
02:07:24,083 --> 02:07:27,291
Polyphony is
from the Middle Ages.

1444
02:07:27,291 --> 02:07:29,789
It's an entirely European phenomenon.

1445
02:07:30,624 --> 02:07:33,624
It's distinguished
by the idea that,

1446
02:07:33,624 --> 02:07:36,747
every voice is its own melody,

1447
02:07:38,208 --> 02:07:40,164
but together in harmony.

1448
02:07:42,041 --> 02:07:46,250
Bach's forerunner, Palestrina,
he wrote many works

1449
02:07:46,250 --> 02:07:48,916
for several choirs at the same time,

1450
02:07:48,916 --> 02:07:51,331
wallowing in polyphony.

1451
02:08:01,291 --> 02:08:03,541
But in my eyes, Bach perfected

1452
02:08:03,541 --> 02:08:05,872
the melodic expression
and the harmony.

1453
02:08:06,916 --> 02:08:11,333
And also mixed up with some
rather incomprehensible

1454
02:08:11,333 --> 02:08:13,707
mystique regarding numbers,

1455
02:08:13,707 --> 02:08:17,455
most likely based on
the Fibonacci Sequence.

1456
02:08:19,041 --> 02:08:21,374
You know the one that
starts with the zero,

1457
02:08:21,374 --> 02:08:22,580
and then comes the one.

1458
02:08:23,291 --> 02:08:27,541
The sequence is created by
adding the two previous numbers

1459
02:08:27,541 --> 02:08:30,832
to create the new one,
so it's zero plus one makes one.

1460
02:08:30,832 --> 02:08:33,707
and one plus one makes two,
and two plus one makes three

1461
02:08:33,707 --> 02:08:37,124
and three plus two makes five,
and five plus three makes eight,

1462
02:08:37,124 --> 02:08:39,291
and eight plus five makes 13.

1463
02:08:39,291 --> 02:08:41,041
The sequence has an
interesting connection

1464
02:08:41,041 --> 02:08:43,789
to Pythagoras' theorem
of the Golden Section.

1465
02:08:45,541 --> 02:08:48,999
It was all about finding out
a divine methodology

1466
02:08:48,999 --> 02:08:50,916
in art and architecture.

1467
02:08:50,916 --> 02:08:52,874
A bit like the way a tri-tone,

1468
02:08:52,874 --> 02:08:54,999
which was played on the piano
in your little club

1469
02:08:54,999 --> 02:08:56,956
was supposed to be
a satanic interval.

1470
02:08:58,624 --> 02:09:02,789
The sum of the numeric values
represented in Bach's name is 14,

1471
02:09:03,791 --> 02:09:06,041
a number he often used
in his compositions.

1472
02:09:06,041 --> 02:09:07,874
The clever thing about Bach's name

1473
02:09:07,874 --> 02:09:11,457
is that the numeric value
of the individual letters

1474
02:09:11,457 --> 02:09:13,206
are all Fibonacci numbers.

1475
02:09:16,290 --> 02:09:18,874
This piece has three voices:

1476
02:09:18,874 --> 02:09:20,039
the bass voice...

1477
02:09:25,874 --> 02:09:27,747
The second voice
played with the left hand.

1478
02:09:32,499 --> 02:09:34,415
The first voice played
with the right hand.

1479
02:09:34,415 --> 02:09:38,332
That is called
Cantus Firmus, or Cantus firmus.

1480
02:09:38,332 --> 02:09:42,497
And together, these three voices
create the polyphony.

1481
02:11:13,249 --> 02:11:16,541
Well, if I should compare
this with my story,

1482
02:11:16,541 --> 02:11:19,915
it's reminiscent of
a quality of nymphomania,

1483
02:11:19,915 --> 02:11:23,457
which is normally ignored,
but nonetheless essential,

1484
02:11:23,457 --> 02:11:27,121
and namely the relationship
between the various intercourses.

1485
02:11:29,749 --> 02:11:31,998
That's interesting.

1486
02:11:31,998 --> 02:11:34,705
They create a... a completeness?

1487
02:11:36,082 --> 02:11:38,415
As, for example, the handshake,

1488
02:11:38,415 --> 02:11:41,666
which for all people
is the sum of

1489
02:11:41,666 --> 02:11:44,582
all the different handshakes
that together

1490
02:11:44,582 --> 02:11:47,957
form our view
of what a handshake is.

1491
02:11:47,957 --> 02:11:50,873
The good, the bad handshake,

1492
02:11:50,873 --> 02:11:52,539
the firm, the limp.

1493
02:11:54,582 --> 02:11:57,288
Normally, a nymphomaniac
is seen as...

1494
02:11:58,582 --> 02:12:00,622
someone who can't get enough,

1495
02:12:01,541 --> 02:12:03,915
and therefore, has sex
with many different people.

1496
02:12:03,915 --> 02:12:05,624
Well, that, of course, is true,

1497
02:12:05,624 --> 02:12:10,374
but if I'm to be honest,
I see it precisely as

1498
02:12:10,374 --> 02:12:14,996
the sum of all these different
sexual experiences.

1499
02:12:16,831 --> 02:12:20,955
So in that way,
I have only one lover.

1500
02:12:25,707 --> 02:12:28,541
Since the music
has three voices,

1501
02:12:28,541 --> 02:12:32,415
I will limit myself to talking
about three lovers.

1502
02:12:32,415 --> 02:12:36,247
The bass is easy.
That's F.

1503
02:12:36,831 --> 02:12:40,205
F had a red car
that he'd bought used.

1504
02:12:43,123 --> 02:12:44,415
As I was having sex

1505
02:12:44,415 --> 02:12:48,582
with seven or eight men
every night at the time,

1506
02:12:48,582 --> 02:12:50,873
scheduling was tricky.

1507
02:12:50,873 --> 02:12:53,873
And they all had to have
precise appointments.

1508
02:12:53,873 --> 02:12:56,915
F was a good man.

1509
02:12:56,915 --> 02:12:59,624
If he was scheduled
for ten o'clock,

1510
02:12:59,624 --> 02:13:03,915
he always showed up around nine
and parked down in the street.

1511
02:13:03,915 --> 02:13:06,205
I always smiled when I saw him.

1512
02:13:08,040 --> 02:13:11,706
Often I took pity on him,
and gave him a cup of coffee,

1513
02:13:11,706 --> 02:13:13,913
although I was finishing
with the one before.

1514
02:13:16,541 --> 02:13:20,040
It's hard to say why I'm
choosing to talk about F,

1515
02:13:20,040 --> 02:13:21,704
but he was reassuring,

1516
02:13:22,249 --> 02:13:25,539
and he knew exactly what
I wanted when we had sex.

1517
02:13:26,457 --> 02:13:30,082
No, I'd go even further,
and say that there was

1518
02:13:30,082 --> 02:13:33,288
a kind of telepathy going on
when we had sex.

1519
02:13:34,374 --> 02:13:38,790
Without words, he knew
exactly what I wanted,

1520
02:13:38,790 --> 02:13:41,871
where he should touch me
and what he should do.

1521
02:13:43,540 --> 02:13:47,871
The most sacred goal for F
was my orgasm.

1522
02:13:48,748 --> 02:13:51,665
Why? And then...

1523
02:13:51,665 --> 02:13:55,790
the swans answered
in the same voice.

1524
02:13:55,790 --> 02:13:57,915
And granted him privileges

1525
02:13:57,915 --> 02:14:00,080
none of the others received.

1526
02:14:06,665 --> 02:14:08,873
F was the bass voice.

1527
02:14:08,873 --> 02:14:12,790
Monotone, predictable
and ritualistic.

1528
02:14:12,790 --> 02:14:14,748
No doubt about it.

1529
02:14:14,748 --> 02:14:18,415
But also the foundation
that is so important,

1530
02:14:18,415 --> 02:14:21,538
even if on its own
it doesn't mean much.

1531
02:14:54,581 --> 02:14:56,496
G was quite different.

1532
02:14:57,581 --> 02:15:01,329
The only one I had to,
and wanted to wait for.

1533
02:15:02,331 --> 02:15:05,915
When he finally turned up
and I opened the door,

1534
02:15:05,915 --> 02:15:08,290
he didn't immediately enter,

1535
02:15:08,290 --> 02:15:11,249
the way a cat doesn't
when you let it in.

1536
02:15:11,249 --> 02:15:13,748
As if,
once the door is open,

1537
02:15:13,748 --> 02:15:15,871
it has all the time
in the world.

1538
02:15:22,748 --> 02:15:25,123
But he was more
than a cat.

1539
02:15:25,123 --> 02:15:28,246
He was like some kind
of jaguar, or leopard.

1540
02:15:29,623 --> 02:15:31,998
He moved like them,

1541
02:15:31,998 --> 02:15:34,621
which turned me on no end.

1542
02:15:45,373 --> 02:15:47,831
When he laid down on my bed,

1543
02:15:47,831 --> 02:15:50,456
it was clear to me that
I should approach him,

1544
02:15:50,456 --> 02:15:52,329
and not the other way round.

1545
02:15:52,915 --> 02:15:58,331
And when I did touch him,
it was with some hesitation,

1546
02:15:58,331 --> 02:16:01,748
as his reactions
were unpredictable.

1547
02:16:01,748 --> 02:16:04,746
He was in charge.
That's the way it was.

1548
02:16:55,206 --> 02:16:57,540
Despite my success in managing

1549
02:16:57,540 --> 02:17:00,790
the complicated logistics
involved in arranging

1550
02:17:00,790 --> 02:17:04,289
up to ten daily
sexual satisfactions,

1551
02:17:04,289 --> 02:17:07,122
while also having
a full-time job,

1552
02:17:07,122 --> 02:17:10,498
I was still prone to
a certain sadness.

1553
02:17:10,498 --> 02:17:13,456
So when my busy life
allowed a few breaks,

1554
02:17:13,456 --> 02:17:15,746
I used them
to take my walks.

1555
02:17:16,748 --> 02:17:20,206
These repeated walks
became a kind of metaphor

1556
02:17:20,206 --> 02:17:23,287
for my life.
Monotonous and pointless.

1557
02:17:25,997 --> 02:17:29,704
Yes, precisely like the
movements of a caged animal.

1558
02:17:31,289 --> 02:17:34,079
Basically, we're all waiting
for permission to die.

1559
02:19:01,665 --> 02:19:03,162
No.

1560
02:19:04,039 --> 02:19:07,039
No, no, no. No, there...

1561
02:19:07,039 --> 02:19:09,789
There are some completely
unrealistic coincidences

1562
02:19:09,789 --> 02:19:11,454
in your story about Jerome.

1563
02:19:13,664 --> 02:19:17,498
First, by chance, he hires you as...
As an assistant.

1564
02:19:17,498 --> 02:19:19,081
And then you take a walk in a forest,

1565
02:19:19,081 --> 02:19:20,914
and it's littered
with photographs of him.

1566
02:19:20,914 --> 02:19:23,870
And not only that... he's present.

1567
02:19:24,914 --> 02:19:29,622
And then like a god,
pulls you up to him through the clouds.

1568
02:19:29,622 --> 02:19:33,329
So what?
That's the way this story goes.

1569
02:19:34,122 --> 02:19:37,162
And I'm the one telling it,
and I know what happened.

1570
02:19:38,414 --> 02:19:40,329
Do you want to hear it or not?

1571
02:19:43,872 --> 02:19:45,620
Goodness gracious.

1572
02:19:57,747 --> 02:19:59,620
What a strange way to meet.

1573
02:20:01,456 --> 02:20:02,454
Yes.

1574
02:20:04,414 --> 02:20:06,456
It's a very strange way.

1575
02:20:06,456 --> 02:20:09,039
Jerome was there
because he'd just had a fight

1576
02:20:09,039 --> 02:20:12,081
with his wife, who in anger
tore up the photographs

1577
02:20:12,081 --> 02:20:14,331
they just had developed
from their travels.

1578
02:20:14,331 --> 02:20:17,081
I don't know if I can believe this.

1579
02:20:17,081 --> 02:20:18,830
Which way
do you think you'd get the most

1580
02:20:18,830 --> 02:20:20,373
out of my story?

1581
02:20:20,373 --> 02:20:22,745
By believing in it
or not believing in it?

1582
02:20:23,914 --> 02:20:25,456
Yeah, you're right.

1583
02:20:25,456 --> 02:20:27,120
You might have a point
with all this.

1584
02:20:31,248 --> 02:20:35,204
The secret ingredient
to sex is love.

1585
02:20:39,331 --> 02:20:42,204
The third voice,
the secret ingredient.

1586
02:20:43,122 --> 02:20:44,703
Cantus Firmus.

1587
02:22:19,664 --> 02:22:22,954
Fill all my holes.

1588
02:23:22,163 --> 02:23:23,413
What's wrong?

1589
02:23:23,413 --> 02:23:26,121
Hmm?

1590
02:23:26,121 --> 02:23:29,288
- I can't feel anything.
- Huh?

1591
02:23:29,288 --> 02:23:30,787
I can't feel anything.

1592
02:23:33,622 --> 02:23:35,620
I can't feel anything.

1593
02:23:37,872 --> 02:23:40,370
I can't... anything.