1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,683
- [woman wailing]
- [nurse 1] Come on, push.
2
00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:09,376
Give it a good push, Rachel. Good push.
3
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,978
[nurse 2] Push down! Push down! Push down!
4
00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:14,914
- [overlapping chatter]
- [Rachel continues wailing]
5
00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:15,981
[nurse 1] Well done.
6
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:21,388
Now look who we have!
Look who we have! A little girl!
7
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,556
[Rachel] Oh, my... [groans]
8
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:26,659
[sniffles] I waited so long for you!
9
00:00:26,726 --> 00:00:28,395
[crying]
10
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:29,562
Well done.
11
00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:30,764
[nurse 1] Well done, Rachel.
12
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,666
Let's take off this sheet. You okay?
13
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,336
- [nurse 1] Look at her. She's perfect.
- [baby crying]
14
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:39,873
[nurse 1] Wow!
15
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:44,077
Oh, my baby!
16
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,114
- Hey!
- [nurse 2] Well done.
17
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,781
- [nurse 1] She's perfect.
- [nurse 2] She is. She looks like her.
18
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,889
[nurse 1] I'm just going to switch
the towel. Thank you.
19
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:58,558
Hello, pretty.
20
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,660
- Where have you been?
- [baby mewling]
21
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,727
Where have you been?
22
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:03,295
It's over.
23
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,144
- [Rachel] It's Willow.
- Willow.
24
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:07,033
Willow.
25
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,835
[baby crying]
26
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,670
[father laughing]
27
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,906
[woman 1] When we look at a baby...
28
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,776
you can't help but wonder...
29
00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:20,013
[man 1] What is going on inside?
30
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:23,383
[woman 2] Where does its personality
come from?
31
00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,455
[woman 3] How do they become who they are?
32
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,328
[man 1] As a scientist and a new parent,
33
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:39,632
I realize that babies are born
totally helpless.
34
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:45,572
But they're going to grow up to be
masters of the universe.
35
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,842
How does that happen?
36
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:54,013
What's exciting right now
37
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,282
is we have so many new ways
to answer those questions.
38
00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:03,590
[woman 4] We realize now
that even the very youngest babies
39
00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,793
already know more and learn more
40
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,796
than we ever would've thought possible.
41
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,664
[blowing raspberry]
42
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,466
I'm gonna forget about that.
43
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:17,170
15 BABIES
FILMED OVER ONE YEAR
44
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:21,241
36 WORLD RENOWNED
SCIENTISTS
45
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:25,245
REVEALING HOW
WE ALL BEGIN
46
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:28,348
[woman 5] Isn't it amazing
47
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:31,651
that the answer
to what it means to be human
48
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,019
lies in the smallest,
49
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,687
youngest creatures?
50
00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,122
[woman] Cheeky boy!
51
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,024
Our babies.
52
00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:41,594
Da-da...
53
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,098
Da-da!
54
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,367
[mewling]
55
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:10,356
LONDON
UK
56
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:13,458
That's for Mummy.
57
00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,363
Mummy's gonna be happy to see you.
58
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,300
Let's see.
59
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,670
Let's see Mummy.
60
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:25,872
Let's see. Which way?
61
00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:27,407
Down there.
62
00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:28,473
[Adam] Ah!
63
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,245
Hello!
64
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:33,645
Who's that?
65
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,349
- [girl] Hello.
- Go and give your Mummy a hug.
66
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,483
[gasps] Oh.
67
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:38,985
Hello, darling.
68
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,052
RACHEL
69
00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,189
- Babe.
- Where's the babe?
70
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:44,256
Don't know.
71
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,260
Who's that?
72
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,468
[Rachel] It's Willow.
73
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,147
[Adam] Are you gonna show Willow
what you bought her?
74
00:03:58,171 --> 00:03:59,739
[gasps] What have you bought Willow?
75
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,342
- What's in there?
- [Adam] You gonna give it to Willow?
76
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,377
[gasps] Aww!
77
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,511
[Adam] Good girl.
78
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,681
- Aww, that's very kind.
- [Adam] Good girl.
79
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,316
[Rachel laughs]
80
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:14,052
[Adam gasps]
81
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:15,588
Who's this?
82
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,357
Who's this?
83
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:21,261
Gentle. Gentle. Gentle.
84
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,062
- [Rachel gasps]
- Good girl.
85
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,698
[Adam] That your sister, give her a kiss.
86
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:34,040
TEL AVIV
ISRAEL
87
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,146
The Beatles... Sergeant Pepper
88
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:45,385
The relationship with our parents
is the most meaningful experience.
89
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:48,521
It has such a huge impact
on how a baby develops
90
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,123
and experiences the world.
91
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,493
Okay. "My Father's Eyes."
92
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:59,032
[Ruth] I was 22 when Estie,
my oldest daughter, was born.
93
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,869
She was placed on my chest...
94
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:10,143
and I think at that moment
I felt what it means to love.
95
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,512
[speaking in Hebrew]
96
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:16,949
[Ruth] Then, being a scientist,
I wanted to understand
97
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:21,554
what's happening in the brain
when we fall in love with our babies.
98
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:24,357
[speaking in Hebrew]
99
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,293
What is the biology of bonding?
100
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:40,340
[Ruth] Back in the early '90s,
we didn't have a full understanding
101
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:43,810
of how the bonding
between mother and baby develops.
102
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:48,147
IDC HERZLIYA
103
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:50,850
In my research,
104
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:53,319
I came across several scientific papers
105
00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:57,490
that described
the importance of the hormone oxytocin
106
00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:59,726
to bonding in mammals.
107
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:04,364
[Ruth] And that really opened my eyes.
108
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:11,771
So I wondered if oxytocin
would be involved in the bonding
109
00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:14,374
I experienced with my own children.
110
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:19,846
In 2001,
111
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:22,348
we started the first study
112
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,684
to test the role of oxytocin
113
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,586
in parent/infant bonding.
114
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,424
[speaking in Hebrew]
115
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:34,494
[mewling]
116
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:38,464
[speaking in Hebrew]
117
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:40,333
[Ruth] This was a real adventure.
118
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,236
We recruited about 80 mothers,
119
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:47,073
and we traveled up and down
the country to collect the samples
120
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,409
throughout pregnancy,
121
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:52,145
and in the first month after childbirth.
122
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,748
And what we found was
123
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:59,218
that oxytocin levels in mothers
124
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,921
rise during pregnancy,
125
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:05,324
and they stay high throughout pregnancy
126
00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:07,627
and right after childbirth.
127
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:10,863
[speaking in Hebrew]
128
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,432
What we also realized,
129
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:15,101
that when mother and infant
touch each other a lot...
130
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:20,239
the oxytocin levels in both go higher,
131
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,675
and this makes you want to engage
132
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:23,943
with the baby more.
133
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:31,017
The brain gives the mother
the sense of intense reward.
134
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:34,120
[speaking in Hebrew]
135
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,720
[baby bubbles]
136
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:38,991
[Ruth] So the higher the oxytocin
the mother had,
137
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,327
the more she bonded with her infant.
138
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,597
[speaking in Hebrew]
139
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:45,665
[laughs]
140
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:49,535
But I always knew
that this is only half of the equation.
141
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:52,672
Give me a kiss.
142
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,575
[Ruth] I began to wonder
what's going on with fathers.
143
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:57,810
See how red they are?
144
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:03,049
[Adam] Did you know
you're four months old today?
145
00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:05,017
- [Willow laughs]
- Yeah.
146
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:08,855
[Adam] That's better.
That looks so much better. [gasps]
147
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,756
You leave daddy's ear alone!
148
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,493
Ooh! That's a good pinch!
149
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,127
Have you been practicing?
150
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,330
[toy whining]
151
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,401
[mewling]
152
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,036
[Adam growls playfully]
153
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:26,038
[Adam] That's what the tiger did.
154
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:27,639
Dad.
155
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,909
- Dad, Daddy.
- Yeah.
156
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,444
[Adam] Step.
157
00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:33,646
That's it.
158
00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:35,915
- [Rachel] She's walking on her own!
- That's it.
159
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:37,250
[Rachel] Good girl!
160
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,185
- [rooster crowing]
- [Rachel] Ooh!
161
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:48,794
Dakota, you're getting so big on me
so fast.
162
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:52,532
Mommy doesn't want you to grow just yet.
163
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:53,900
Slow down.
164
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,035
Slow down.
165
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:04,243
[Destiny] As soon as she came out,
it was just like, "Oh, this is my baby."
166
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:05,610
Look.
167
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:09,916
She is so precious, and it was
an instant love connection
168
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:13,719
of love that you've
never experienced before.
169
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:17,590
[man] Yeah, this is better.
170
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,372
It's actually
when she lays her head sideways,
171
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:35,074
I know that's when she's going to sleep.
172
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:41,581
'Cause she's not moving,
she's not trying to climb no more.
173
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,382
She's getting real comfortable.
174
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:47,787
But this is me and Dakota's thing
right here.
175
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,656
Just on my shoulder,
walking back and forth.
176
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,833
Once she relaxes her arm, then I know,
177
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:04,670
"Okay. No matter what I do,
I'mma get at least a half an hour."
178
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,785
[car horns honking in distance]
179
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,657
[Ruth] For the next study,
180
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,661
we wanted to see if there's an impact
181
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:31,163
on the level of oxytocin in fathers.
182
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,100
[woman] So this is our lab.
183
00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:39,639
I'm gonna ask you, um,
to spit into these tubes,
184
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:41,207
about one milliliter.
185
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,311
[Ruth] So we recruited 80 couples.
186
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:50,416
And we measured oxytocin in fathers,
187
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,685
in the first months,
right after the child's birth.
188
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:53,753
Great, thank you.
189
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:55,788
[mechanism clicking]
190
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,494
[device beeps, powers up]
191
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,698
And when we looked at the results...
192
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:09,602
it was really shocking.
193
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:16,242
Mothers' and fathers' level of oxytocin
were identical.
194
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,979
[Ruth] And that was a huge surprise.
195
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:24,350
We know for over a hundred years
196
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:27,553
that mothers get a surge of oxytocin
197
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,690
during pregnancy, childbirth,
198
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:31,590
and nursing.
199
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:33,793
- And here we go!
- [baby laughs]
200
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:36,328
But how do fathers get so much oxytocin?
201
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:43,169
[Ruth] We discovered that
the more you do with a baby...
202
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:49,108
and really lift your sleeves,
and take care of the child, and wash it,
203
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:52,144
and feed it, engage in a parental role...
204
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,649
the more your oxytocin system
205
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,917
will activate.
206
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:01,320
Papa!
207
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,922
[Ruth] And this is amazing.
208
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:07,893
Fatherhood is biological.
209
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:10,429
[woman laughs]
210
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:13,933
It's as deep as motherhood.
211
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:17,436
[birds squawking]
212
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:25,911
[Destiny] Okay.
213
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:37,656
Don't open it all the way.
214
00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:39,992
- It goes to the back of one of these?
- Yeah.
215
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:42,495
[Dakota cries]
216
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:46,098
[Shawn] And this is the pump, this side?
217
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:47,533
[velcro ripping]
218
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,902
[Destiny] Look, you see that other box
at the other end?
219
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:52,004
That's the actual pump down there.
220
00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:58,711
[Destiny] I had always been planning
on going back to work.
221
00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:02,848
Her pediatrician yesterday informed us
222
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:06,852
that to spread out the feedings
every two to three hours,
223
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:12,091
and, um, just try to find another way
to comfort her and console her,
224
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:15,694
and also to give her time
to allow her to self-soothe.
225
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:19,331
- [Shawn] And to wait till she finishes.
- So that way, we're not...
226
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:21,432
you know,
227
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,469
just using me all the time,
228
00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:25,738
'cause then I'll never be able
to go to work.
229
00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:31,143
I'm not looking forward to pumping,
even though I want you to feed her,
230
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:36,115
but it's just like a bittersweet...
new chapter.
231
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:39,952
If you want me to try it
before it goes to your... the real one,
232
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:41,921
make sure it's good...
233
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:44,089
Well, go ahead
and take one for the team, then.
234
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,958
Excuse the six pack.
235
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,427
[Destiny] Let me see!
236
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,662
[pump whirring]
237
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,398
Oh, it is doing something. Wait.
238
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:54,066
- [pump whirring]
- [chuckles] Hold up!
239
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,733
- [Destiny laughs] Let me see!
- Hold up!
240
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:56,769
[Destiny laughs]
241
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,670
Hold up.
242
00:13:57,736 --> 00:13:59,038
Daddy's gonna burp you.
243
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,107
She'll probably be ready for a nap.
244
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:03,909
Me too.
245
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,043
[Destiny scoffs]
246
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:07,446
[pump whirring]
247
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:13,185
Dakota, I want you to still want milk
from Mommy too.
248
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,622
Can you do both? Can we make a deal?
249
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,690
Yeah?
250
00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:22,595
[snoring]
251
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:29,969
So the time is now 12:25 a.m.,
252
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,338
and Dakota...
253
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:35,207
has decided to...
254
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,376
use me as a pacifier.
255
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:40,312
- [mewls, coughs]
- And she won't really sleep.
256
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:45,284
[Destiny] And Shawn is snoring away...
257
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,354
like a little baby.
258
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,422
[snoring]
259
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:51,924
Sleeping peacefully...
260
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,927
while Dakota and I...
261
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,198
nurse away.
262
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,440
[Ruth] We all know that
when the baby cries at night,
263
00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:11,243
it's usually the mom that hears it.
264
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:14,546
And maybe the dad will get up,
change the baby,
265
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:20,119
but it's the mother
who is not able to sleep.
266
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:26,926
When we looked at mom's brain,
267
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:34,166
we found that the oxytocin surge at birth
activates a very primitive structure.
268
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:36,302
The amygdala.
269
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:38,971
This is the amygdala.
270
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,774
You see it in both sides of the brain.
271
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:44,710
It makes us vigilant.
272
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,279
It makes us worry about the infant.
273
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:51,717
And once the mother's amygdala is open,
274
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:55,788
it stays like this forever,
no matter how old your child is.
275
00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:01,827
[Ruth] When we look at dad's brain,
we saw quite a different story.
276
00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:06,732
It's about a quarter
of what you see in mom's.
277
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:15,040
But not every family has a mother.
278
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,776
[car horns honking]
279
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:24,350
I've been a parent for the past...
280
00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:28,320
eleven hours. [chuckles]
281
00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:31,890
And this is the other parent.
282
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:34,960
I am so tired.
283
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:40,632
He's the most beautiful boy in the world,
in the universe.
284
00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:41,699
Oh...
285
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:45,437
- [Isaac] He's been a good boy tonight.
- Yeah.
286
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,208
Having him in my arms and feed him,
287
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:50,809
I don't know how to say,
288
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:53,078
it was like love at first sight, but...
289
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:59,151
it's this kind of love
that you know that, no matter what,
290
00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:00,819
it will never end.
291
00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,154
It's... It's...
292
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:04,523
It's impossible to describe
293
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,525
with words what you're feeling.
294
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,134
[woman] Hi, baby.
295
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:17,136
[Josh] Who is changing you?
296
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,538
Who is that? AJ?
297
00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:21,573
Yeah!
298
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:25,344
- [AJ] Hi, squishy butt. Hello.
- [Josh] Look at how happy he is.
299
00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:29,314
[Isaac] We started exploring
surrogacy in the UK,
300
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:34,153
and we learned about the option
of going for surrogacy in Canada,
301
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:38,390
because in Canada
you just put your case up
302
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:41,560
for any woman
that wants to carry your baby,
303
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:44,029
and they actually are the ones
that choose you.
304
00:17:44,096 --> 00:17:46,665
The whole story changes
from the very beginning.
305
00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:48,167
[Isaac] What is it?
306
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:51,937
The umbilical cord is out now!
He has a bellybutton!
307
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,872
- He has a bellybutton!
- [Josh] Aww!
308
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,042
[Josh laughs]
309
00:17:57,109 --> 00:18:00,245
[AJ] In Canada, it is illegal to get paid
for surrogacy.
310
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:06,085
But I think that,
because of how intimate surrogacy is,
311
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:08,720
money cannot be the reason to do this.
312
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:11,123
And I wanted to help.
313
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:15,360
I mean, I can't do much,
but this is something that I can do.
314
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:21,333
Those baby noises when they're eating,
when they're like, "Hm."
315
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:23,535
[Isaac] Tonight, at five, he was like...
316
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,472
[Isaac imitates mewling sounds]
317
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:33,345
[Isaac] AJ gave us the ultimate gift
of being able to form a family.
318
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:35,380
Now she's part of our family.
319
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:38,517
Her family is part of our family as well,
and she will forever be.
320
00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:42,721
[Josh] Father and son,
both of them sleeping.
321
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,258
So cute.
322
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:57,803
[Ruth] In 2010,
we recruited a unique group of parents
323
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,805
where there was no mother.
324
00:19:00,839 --> 00:19:04,243
[singing children's song in Hebrew]
325
00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:10,816
[Ruth] We had 48 gay couples
326
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,852
who were living in a partnered,
committed relationship
327
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,455
and had a child through surrogacy,
328
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:19,825
and had the baby
from the first day of life.
329
00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:22,461
[kids' music playing in background]
330
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,797
[Ruth] We videotaped in the home,
the baby interacting
331
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:27,366
with the parents,
332
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,769
and we took it to the lab to code it.
333
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,541
We also measured oxytocin levels.
334
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:38,310
And we scanned father's brain.
335
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,980
And when we analyzed the results,
336
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,816
we were in for a big surprise.
337
00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:00,699
When fathers are primary caregiver,
338
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,237
they had amygdala activation
just like mothers.
339
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:11,009
[Ruth] We had no idea
that we would find that.
340
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:14,446
Looks like a hungry duck. One, two, three.
341
00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:15,681
[laughs]
342
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,381
Ooh!
343
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:20,419
[Ruth] Pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing
344
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:21,753
activate the maternal brain.
345
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:27,359
But also,
it's activated to the same extent
346
00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:28,594
by committed caregiving.
347
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:34,132
[Ruth] So it doesn't really matter
whether you are the biological parent
348
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:36,468
or a committed caregiving parent.
349
00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:38,837
It's a choice.
350
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:44,710
It's a choice to be a parent
to that infant.
351
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,379
[indistinct chatter in background]
352
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,491
[Josh] So I'm taking Eric
to get his vaccines.
353
00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:04,429
I'm just a little bit worried
because everybody told me they hurt,
354
00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:07,933
but I'm trying to push that down.
355
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:10,502
Hi. [laughs]
356
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,676
- Nice to meet you.
- [woman] Nice meeting you.
357
00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:14,873
I'll take you through everything now.
358
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:19,311
You have to know what is going to happen
after we've given the vaccines.
359
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:22,414
- You are seeing my face already!
- [woman] Okay.
360
00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:24,683
I don't know who is going to suffer more.
361
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,351
- Him or me.
- Oh, really?
362
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:30,722
- I'm already suffering. I hate injections.
- Turn a little bit to the side for me.
363
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,591
I need to get into these muscles here.
364
00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:33,759
- [Josh] Okay.
- Okay?
365
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,662
[crying]
366
00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:39,197
- [woman] Sorry, sorry.
- [Josh] I'm really sorry, my love!
367
00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:43,935
- It's okay, my love. It's okay. Well done.
- [woman] Sorry, Eric.
368
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:46,538
[Josh] All the time,
I'm worried about Eric.
369
00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:49,975
You know, probably more than I should.
370
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,843
- [Eric crying]
- It's okay, it's okay.
371
00:21:52,577 --> 00:21:55,180
It's okay, it's okay, my love.
372
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,517
[Josh] Every sound that he's making,
373
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:02,754
I was all the time waking him up
to check what's happening.
374
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:04,555
[woman] Okay.
375
00:22:05,023 --> 00:22:06,925
He is my baby, you know?
376
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,827
[woman] Well done. We're done.
377
00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:13,165
Having Eric made our lives more stressful,
378
00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:16,268
but it's a good stress.
379
00:22:17,703 --> 00:22:21,973
[distant police siren wailing]
380
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,042
[seagulls squawking]
381
00:22:31,817 --> 00:22:34,786
[man] I came to the psychology department
382
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:38,890
at Harvard University in 1968.
383
00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:45,931
Back then, everyone was doing
384
00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:48,467
hard science studies.
385
00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:51,636
Visual perception, learning, memory.
386
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:59,644
[Ed] But I was really interested
in what's going on
387
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:02,547
between mothers and their infants.
388
00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:06,351
And that had never really been...
389
00:23:06,752 --> 00:23:08,620
been looked at before.
390
00:23:16,628 --> 00:23:21,266
I actually had one of my professors put
his hand around my shoulder and say,
391
00:23:22,634 --> 00:23:26,972
"This emotion stuff is not
what you want to be doing."
392
00:23:29,107 --> 00:23:33,345
And somehow, I resisted that,
because I wanted to ask,
393
00:23:34,112 --> 00:23:39,818
"Is the baby born
ready to engage in social relationships?"
394
00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:43,588
Or is the baby just...
395
00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:45,757
sort of passive?
396
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:48,760
This led me to
397
00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:52,330
the development
of the still face experiment.
398
00:23:52,831 --> 00:23:54,032
[film projector whirring]
399
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:01,840
[Ed] We had mothers playing
with young babies, three, four,
400
00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:03,375
five months of age.
401
00:24:04,309 --> 00:24:06,711
And if the infant got really excited,
402
00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:08,547
the mother got really excited.
403
00:24:10,715 --> 00:24:12,517
Then we asked mothers
404
00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:16,721
to stop reacting to the baby
for about two minutes,
405
00:24:17,355 --> 00:24:19,991
to see what the baby would do.
406
00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:25,730
The babies immediately picked up
that the mother wasn't
407
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:27,999
reacting the way she typically did.
408
00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:33,071
They would smile at her.
409
00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:37,909
Eventually, the babies might cry.
410
00:24:39,544 --> 00:24:41,613
But they would keep on trying
411
00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:44,115
to get back into a relationship.
412
00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:47,319
Oop! [chuckles]
413
00:24:47,385 --> 00:24:48,987
[baby cooing ]
414
00:24:50,121 --> 00:24:51,223
[laughs]
415
00:24:53,592 --> 00:24:55,160
[woman] Ooh!
416
00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:57,195
[Ed] It was clear that the baby
417
00:24:57,262 --> 00:24:59,598
is born with the capacity
418
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:02,167
to engage in social interaction.
419
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:04,402
[laughter]
420
00:25:04,469 --> 00:25:09,641
[Ed] It's something that's built in
and critical to us.
421
00:25:13,645 --> 00:25:17,115
- You guys are supposed to be working out.
- [Ed] And if a relationship gets disrupted
422
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:22,687
it has a very powerful emotional effect...
423
00:25:22,754 --> 00:25:24,389
[baby mewling]
424
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:27,359
...on be it a baby or an adult.
425
00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:35,567
[Willow crying]
426
00:25:36,801 --> 00:25:39,137
I'm sorry, Willow. We're nearly home.
427
00:25:40,972 --> 00:25:43,542
[Rachel] We've just been out
with the two of them.
428
00:25:43,608 --> 00:25:44,809
[Willow crying]
429
00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:47,455
[Rachel] And now both are crying
in the back of the car,
430
00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:49,180
and I can't do anything about it.
431
00:25:49,247 --> 00:25:50,649
Not far now.
432
00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:53,652
Oh, God.
433
00:25:58,623 --> 00:26:00,125
[Adam] Stressful for Mummy.
434
00:26:00,859 --> 00:26:03,962
She was foaming at the mouth,
she was crying so much.
435
00:26:06,097 --> 00:26:08,066
- You forgive me?
- [Adam] Look at your mummy.
436
00:26:08,133 --> 00:26:09,167
You forgive me?
437
00:26:09,601 --> 00:26:11,636
- [Adam] You looking at your mummy?
- [tsks]
438
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:14,839
What a horrible... [sniffles]
439
00:26:14,906 --> 00:26:18,777
What a rubbish end
to a nice little afternoon, eh?
440
00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:22,314
Are we friends again?
441
00:26:23,381 --> 00:26:25,584
Do you forgive me for letting you cry?
442
00:26:26,117 --> 00:26:27,986
I didn't have a choice, darling.
443
00:26:28,787 --> 00:26:30,455
Oh, I'm sorry.
444
00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:32,524
Silly car.
445
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,828
[Rachel] Who's got a nice little bath?
446
00:26:37,228 --> 00:26:39,164
[mewling, hiccuping]
447
00:26:39,831 --> 00:26:41,299
Having water on your head?
448
00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:45,470
[Rachel] Hair, it gets greasy
really quickly as a baby.
449
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:48,606
Yeah?
450
00:26:50,108 --> 00:26:51,209
Is that nice?
451
00:26:52,310 --> 00:26:53,310
Hey?
452
00:26:56,214 --> 00:27:00,218
[car horns honking]
453
00:27:03,855 --> 00:27:04,789
Hi.
454
00:27:04,856 --> 00:27:07,325
[woman 1 laughs] Hi. I barely made it.
455
00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:09,761
You made it just fine.
456
00:27:10,362 --> 00:27:12,330
[woman 1] This is nice.
It's like a more...
457
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:13,298
Yeah.
458
00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:17,836
[Ed] Stress is inevitable.
You really can't avoid it.
459
00:27:20,238 --> 00:27:27,212
So does a good relationship between
the parent and a baby help the baby
460
00:27:27,278 --> 00:27:29,280
cope with stress?
461
00:27:31,182 --> 00:27:32,182
Hi.
462
00:27:32,517 --> 00:27:35,854
Nice to meet you. Hi. Oh, you're smiling.
463
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:39,658
- You can see just his little eyes pop out.
- [assistant] Nice to meet you.
464
00:27:40,125 --> 00:27:41,459
[laughter]
465
00:27:41,526 --> 00:27:42,894
What? What did you say?
466
00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:47,966
We have set up a new way
to use the still face experiment
467
00:27:48,233 --> 00:27:52,504
where we look at the amount of stress
that the infant experiences.
468
00:27:52,570 --> 00:27:54,105
- Can you say hi?
- [Ed] Hi, sweetie.
469
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:56,608
There's Ed. Say hi to Ed?
470
00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:58,810
Thank you so much for coming in
and helping us.
471
00:27:59,778 --> 00:28:01,913
[assistant] So we will take
several measures
472
00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:03,815
of both you and your baby.
473
00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,652
[Ed] The first thing we do is we take
474
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,722
a sample of the baby's saliva
475
00:28:10,822 --> 00:28:15,727
and look at the level of a stress hormone
called cortisol.
476
00:28:16,061 --> 00:28:18,596
The higher the level of cortisol,
477
00:28:18,663 --> 00:28:21,733
the greater the level of stress
for the infant.
478
00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:23,968
Okay, let's go to the other room.
479
00:28:24,502 --> 00:28:25,502
Okay.
480
00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:29,074
I want to get this around you
for a bit, okay.
481
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:38,702
[assistant] You can stop playing,
482
00:28:38,750 --> 00:28:40,470
and I'll tell you when to do
the still face.
483
00:28:40,819 --> 00:28:42,120
[Ed] Let's see how he'll react.
484
00:28:42,187 --> 00:28:46,257
[singing gently in Spanish]
485
00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:52,063
Do you have tootsies?
486
00:28:52,363 --> 00:28:54,365
Uh-oh! I'm stuck. You got me.
487
00:28:54,666 --> 00:28:59,170
[Ed] The still face experiment
helps us to see
488
00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:04,843
what goes on in regular interactions
between the mother and the baby.
489
00:29:05,877 --> 00:29:08,213
Shall we do "Wheels On the Bus"?
490
00:29:08,279 --> 00:29:11,349
♪ The wheels on the bus
Go round and round... ♪
491
00:29:11,983 --> 00:29:14,452
[Ed] What we see there is
492
00:29:14,519 --> 00:29:19,057
that they're matching one another,
they're dancing coordinated.
493
00:29:19,958 --> 00:29:22,360
♪ All through the town ♪
494
00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:24,429
[mother coos]
495
00:29:25,296 --> 00:29:28,967
[singing in Spanish]
496
00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:34,806
[whispers] Have her do the still face.
497
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,242
Uh, please start the still face.
498
00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,387
[assistant] Remember,
no touching, no talking,
499
00:29:40,411 --> 00:29:42,547
and sit back in the chair.
500
00:29:45,850 --> 00:29:47,285
[Ed] As soon as we start,
501
00:29:47,685 --> 00:29:50,789
the baby sees something has changed.
502
00:29:50,855 --> 00:29:52,257
They know it right away.
503
00:29:53,158 --> 00:29:55,860
[baby wailing]
504
00:29:57,695 --> 00:30:00,031
[screeching and wailing]
505
00:30:00,098 --> 00:30:03,401
[Ed] Babies try to elicit her response.
506
00:30:04,435 --> 00:30:06,437
[crying]
507
00:30:08,506 --> 00:30:11,943
[Ed] They may start to fuss, even cry,
508
00:30:12,177 --> 00:30:14,045
when she's not responding.
509
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:17,649
[crying continues]
510
00:30:19,717 --> 00:30:22,320
- [assistant] She's complaining a lot.
- There you go.
511
00:30:24,255 --> 00:30:27,725
[Ed] But eventually,
they bring their hands up to their mouth
512
00:30:27,792 --> 00:30:29,594
and comfort themselves.
513
00:30:37,268 --> 00:30:38,203
- Okay.
- [assistant] Okay.
514
00:30:38,269 --> 00:30:40,438
Have her resume.
- [assistant] Great job, thank you.
515
00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,307
Uh, you can start playing again.
516
00:30:42,540 --> 00:30:44,776
[mother] Okay, you're going back
to the fingers.
517
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:47,145
- [crying]
- Oh!
518
00:30:47,212 --> 00:30:48,413
[mother laughs]
519
00:30:48,479 --> 00:30:50,515
You're not supposed to cry now!
520
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,843
[assistant] She's complaining.
"What did you do to me?"
521
00:30:53,885 --> 00:30:55,286
[baby crying]
522
00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:57,422
[Ed] And it doesn't take long
523
00:30:57,488 --> 00:31:03,194
for the baby and the mother to figure out
ways to reconnect
524
00:31:03,261 --> 00:31:06,798
after the stress
of the still face experiment.
525
00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:07,966
[blows raspberry]
526
00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:09,667
All right, again! [blows raspberry]
527
00:31:09,734 --> 00:31:11,002
Ah! Oh, you got me.
528
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,806
[Ed] And that's really important
for the infant.
529
00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:20,044
It means that the infant is able
to trust this person
530
00:31:20,478 --> 00:31:22,914
to fix, to repair,
531
00:31:23,248 --> 00:31:27,518
after something has gone wrong
in the interaction.
532
00:31:28,052 --> 00:31:31,856
When we look at the levels of cortisol
during the experiment...
533
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:38,663
we find that where an infant has
positive experience with their parents,
534
00:31:39,264 --> 00:31:42,400
the infant is less stressed
during the still face
535
00:31:42,467 --> 00:31:46,371
and shows lower levels
of the stress hormone cortisol.
536
00:31:47,105 --> 00:31:48,973
[assistant] Okay, thank you.
We are coming in.
537
00:31:51,476 --> 00:31:54,712
It's really a pretty amazing finding,
538
00:31:54,779 --> 00:31:59,317
and it speaks to the effect of parenting
539
00:31:59,884 --> 00:32:01,920
on how the infant will be in the world.
540
00:32:03,388 --> 00:32:06,858
[crying]
541
00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:08,860
- [crying]
- What's wrong?
542
00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:12,030
[Ed] Every parent struggles to find out...
543
00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:14,499
"What does my baby need now?"
544
00:32:17,702 --> 00:32:19,671
But if you keep on trying,
545
00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,507
you'll find out the answers.
546
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,610
[laughing]
547
00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:29,714
[Ed] Trust your baby to tell you
548
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:32,717
what it is that he or she needs
549
00:32:33,284 --> 00:32:35,787
and trust your own instincts
550
00:32:35,853 --> 00:32:37,588
about how to be responding.
551
00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:41,092
That's how the two of you...
552
00:32:42,327 --> 00:32:43,728
fall in love with one another.
553
00:32:48,032 --> 00:32:48,900
[mewling]
554
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:49,867
[woman] Yeah.
555
00:32:49,934 --> 00:32:51,169
Mommy's coming.
556
00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:53,104
[Dakota crying]
557
00:32:53,338 --> 00:32:54,973
It's gonna be a big one.
558
00:32:55,573 --> 00:32:57,275
[Dakota crying]
559
00:32:57,342 --> 00:32:58,409
[woman] Oh. Oh.
560
00:32:58,476 --> 00:33:00,812
Probably needs her diaper changed, and...
561
00:33:02,347 --> 00:33:03,548
[Destiny] It's just crazy.
562
00:33:03,948 --> 00:33:06,150
It just doesn't feel good,
especially because
563
00:33:06,217 --> 00:33:07,986
she's fussy over there now.
564
00:33:08,052 --> 00:33:11,356
I want to, like, hold her and,
you know, talk to her,
565
00:33:11,422 --> 00:33:15,393
but at the same time, I have to prepare
for the showings tomorrow.
566
00:33:15,460 --> 00:33:17,762
[woman] I know,
and it will always be like that every day,
567
00:33:18,730 --> 00:33:19,764
for like...
568
00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:22,834
[Dakota crying]
569
00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:24,102
[Dakota screeching]
570
00:33:24,168 --> 00:33:25,703
[Destiny] Ooh.
571
00:33:25,770 --> 00:33:27,739
This is the last one. One, two,
572
00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:30,575
three, four, five.
573
00:33:30,975 --> 00:33:32,877
Mommy is coming.
574
00:33:33,478 --> 00:33:36,481
- [woman] Okay.
- What address was this one?
575
00:33:36,581 --> 00:33:38,116
[muttering softly] Liberty.
576
00:33:39,283 --> 00:33:41,185
[Destiny] It's very, very...
577
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:43,320
very...
578
00:33:44,822 --> 00:33:45,822
difficult.
579
00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:47,357
And it's like...
580
00:33:48,292 --> 00:33:50,728
it's hard for me
just as much as it is for her.
581
00:33:51,195 --> 00:33:54,532
You have feelings that
she just can't experience yet, like guilt.
582
00:33:54,599 --> 00:33:57,135
[laughs] Your little chunky cheeks.
583
00:33:57,435 --> 00:34:00,138
I'm giving you the strong pat,
that's why, jelly.
584
00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:01,472
You like the strong pats.
585
00:34:01,606 --> 00:34:06,310
[crying]
586
00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:07,377
[mewling]
587
00:34:07,412 --> 00:34:08,555
- Hi, pumpkin.
- You know what?
588
00:34:08,579 --> 00:34:09,981
I'm gonna let you guys do this.
589
00:34:10,515 --> 00:34:11,549
Come here.
590
00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:15,253
Hi.
591
00:34:20,358 --> 00:34:21,359
Hi!
592
00:34:21,793 --> 00:34:23,194
Here I am.
593
00:34:23,761 --> 00:34:25,930
Hi!
594
00:34:25,997 --> 00:34:28,232
- [squeals happily]
- Yeah!
595
00:34:28,499 --> 00:34:30,368
Say, "Hi, Mommy."
596
00:34:30,635 --> 00:34:32,637
Mwah!
597
00:34:33,604 --> 00:34:35,773
Mwah!
598
00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:38,509
Mwah!
599
00:34:39,177 --> 00:34:41,312
What was all the fuss about?
600
00:34:42,313 --> 00:34:43,748
What was it about?
601
00:34:44,415 --> 00:34:46,184
Did you want to tell me a story?
602
00:34:47,185 --> 00:34:48,052
Yeah?
603
00:34:48,119 --> 00:34:49,119
[mewls softly]
604
00:34:49,754 --> 00:34:51,622
[Dakota mewling]
605
00:34:52,023 --> 00:34:53,023
Did it?
606
00:34:53,558 --> 00:34:54,625
And what else?
607
00:34:54,692 --> 00:34:55,993
[Dakota mewling]
608
00:34:56,060 --> 00:34:57,095
Really?
609
00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,630
Is that what happened?
610
00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:02,366
Were you giving Daddy a hard time?
611
00:35:03,367 --> 00:35:05,069
Hm? Yeah?
612
00:35:05,670 --> 00:35:07,171
That's your job, right?
613
00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:09,707
We gotta give him a run for his money.
614
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:11,776
- [mewling]
- Yeah!
615
00:35:15,413 --> 00:35:18,015
[distant ship horn blowing]
616
00:35:22,453 --> 00:35:24,455
[indistinct chatter]
617
00:35:24,755 --> 00:35:27,267
[woman] Is this the first time
you guys have done it without me?
618
00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:29,627
- 'Cause, have you done it at camp?
- Yeah.
619
00:35:30,628 --> 00:35:31,796
- I think so.
- I forget.
620
00:35:31,863 --> 00:35:33,498
- I'm not sure.
- I think he did.
621
00:35:33,564 --> 00:35:34,465
Okay.
622
00:35:34,532 --> 00:35:37,835
[woman] As a parent, I'm faced with
constant dilemmas every day.
623
00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:43,941
I really want my children to be
adventurous and courageous,
624
00:35:44,008 --> 00:35:47,078
but I also really want to keep them safe.
625
00:35:47,478 --> 00:35:49,180
[Anne] Patricia, yours is on, right?
626
00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:50,982
These are real choices.
627
00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:55,186
[kids laughing]
628
00:36:02,126 --> 00:36:04,996
So I've wondered, what kind of impact
629
00:36:05,062 --> 00:36:09,000
can these parenting choices
have on the baby's development?
630
00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:11,602
[kids laughing]
631
00:36:13,104 --> 00:36:17,441
[Anne] A newborn's brain is developing
quite rapidly in early life.
632
00:36:18,042 --> 00:36:19,143
[Patricia] Whoa!
633
00:36:20,111 --> 00:36:21,946
I wanted to design a study
634
00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:24,615
that would allow us to look at
635
00:36:24,682 --> 00:36:29,453
if parenting would affect
the infant's brain
636
00:36:29,820 --> 00:36:31,622
during this unique period of life.
637
00:36:35,359 --> 00:36:37,929
[Anne] When we first started
looking at this,
638
00:36:38,396 --> 00:36:42,166
to my knowledge, there wasn't much on just
639
00:36:42,233 --> 00:36:44,168
differences in parenting
640
00:36:44,235 --> 00:36:45,503
and the infant's brain.
641
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,910
So we really needed scans
of babies' brains
642
00:36:52,977 --> 00:36:54,879
right after they were born,
643
00:36:54,946 --> 00:36:58,249
before they'd experienced really
any parenting styles.
644
00:36:59,650 --> 00:37:04,021
And then fortunately we had
this great opportunity to take advantage
645
00:37:04,088 --> 00:37:06,357
of a much larger study...
646
00:37:07,658 --> 00:37:10,661
the Growing Up In Singapore
Towards Healthy Outcomes study.
647
00:37:12,763 --> 00:37:15,066
In this study, these babies had
648
00:37:15,132 --> 00:37:18,669
already been scanned
within the first few weeks of life.
649
00:37:20,004 --> 00:37:23,407
So we had a sort of baseline
for brain development.
650
00:37:27,511 --> 00:37:30,815
We needed to follow those babies
to six months...
651
00:37:31,983 --> 00:37:34,218
take another scan of their brain...
652
00:37:37,021 --> 00:37:38,489
and also observe
653
00:37:38,556 --> 00:37:40,925
differences in parenting style.
654
00:37:40,992 --> 00:37:42,226
- [Anne] Hello.
- Hi.
655
00:37:42,293 --> 00:37:44,493
- I'm Anne, one of the GUSTO scientists.
- Hi, I'm Nina.
656
00:37:44,528 --> 00:37:46,139
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
657
00:37:46,163 --> 00:37:47,898
- This is Nathaniel.
- Hi, Nathaniel.
658
00:37:48,666 --> 00:37:52,370
So we brought in the moms and babies
when the babies were six months of age,
659
00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:55,606
and we observed the parenting behavior
in the laboratory.
660
00:37:56,574 --> 00:37:58,109
You go down on the mat?
661
00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:05,216
[Anne] What I'm really looking at is
662
00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:08,719
how attentive and responsive is a parent
663
00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:10,721
to the infant's signals?
664
00:38:10,788 --> 00:38:12,490
Hello. How are you?
665
00:38:12,556 --> 00:38:15,626
Great? Are you having fun? Stretch.
666
00:38:15,693 --> 00:38:17,528
We had 20 babies...
667
00:38:18,796 --> 00:38:21,532
and we rated the mother's behavior
using a system
668
00:38:21,599 --> 00:38:22,833
of descriptive cards.
669
00:38:25,369 --> 00:38:28,773
Do they respond
to what the infant is doing?
670
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,342
- [woman] Oops!
- [baby crying]
671
00:38:31,409 --> 00:38:33,077
[woman] Oh, no, no, no.
672
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:36,547
[Anne] So for example,
we might see a baby cry.
673
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:38,315
Does the mother
674
00:38:38,916 --> 00:38:40,651
quickly offer comfort?
675
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:43,521
[baby crying]
676
00:38:43,587 --> 00:38:44,587
[woman] Ooh!
677
00:38:44,622 --> 00:38:45,990
Oh, sorry.
678
00:38:47,558 --> 00:38:49,894
[Anne] If the baby is reaching
for something,
679
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,496
does she let the child choose,
680
00:38:52,563 --> 00:38:53,764
or does she choose?
681
00:38:54,265 --> 00:38:55,499
You like this?
682
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,036
These interactions are really small,
683
00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:01,172
and sometimes they're really quick.
684
00:39:03,507 --> 00:39:04,975
But over time,
685
00:39:05,042 --> 00:39:08,412
they add together to complete a picture
686
00:39:08,879 --> 00:39:10,581
of what the relationship is like.
687
00:39:10,981 --> 00:39:12,983
[birds chirping]
688
00:39:17,888 --> 00:39:19,890
[breast pump whirring]
689
00:39:20,891 --> 00:39:22,593
[Destiny] I'm gonna stop at 55.
690
00:39:28,399 --> 00:39:29,934
[cell phone ringing]
691
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,035
This is him.
692
00:39:33,571 --> 00:39:34,571
Hello?
693
00:39:36,941 --> 00:39:38,843
Good morning. So you're up.
694
00:39:40,444 --> 00:39:42,680
No, you're gonna go
straight to the property?
695
00:39:44,915 --> 00:39:47,017
I know, I'm gonna text you the address.
696
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:50,921
Okay, perfect.
697
00:39:52,156 --> 00:39:53,867
- Okay, bye-bye.
- [Shawn speaks indistinctly]
698
00:39:53,891 --> 00:39:55,726
- [sneezes]
- [Destiny and Shawn] Bless you.
699
00:39:58,295 --> 00:40:00,297
- [sneezes]
- [Destiny and Shawn] Bless you.
700
00:40:02,266 --> 00:40:03,601
Okay, yes.
701
00:40:04,802 --> 00:40:06,504
[Shawn] Destiny is finding it really hard
702
00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:09,240
because she's really motivated
to go back to work.
703
00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:12,676
But I feel like she doesn't want to be
704
00:40:13,010 --> 00:40:14,845
any minute away from Dakota.
705
00:40:16,547 --> 00:40:18,949
I guess it's the motherly instincts
kicking in.
706
00:40:20,050 --> 00:40:24,021
Dakota, I'm going to need you to be
a little bit more still.
707
00:40:25,055 --> 00:40:26,215
I feel I know what I'm doing,
708
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:28,859
but I'm, like, real confident
with doing this now.
709
00:40:30,361 --> 00:40:32,029
Yeah, it's time for you to eat.
710
00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:33,964
[mewling softly]
711
00:40:34,031 --> 00:40:34,865
Come on.
712
00:40:34,932 --> 00:40:36,000
[gurgling]
713
00:40:36,066 --> 00:40:37,535
But it's time for you to eat.
714
00:40:38,569 --> 00:40:40,471
[Shawn] Dakota definitely knows who I am.
715
00:40:41,572 --> 00:40:44,909
I feel like, you know,
nothing could break our bond.
716
00:40:46,143 --> 00:40:47,244
There you go.
717
00:40:48,012 --> 00:40:50,781
It almost makes me feel real soft inside,
718
00:40:50,848 --> 00:40:52,817
like, real mushy and, I don't know,
719
00:40:52,883 --> 00:40:55,152
like, getting real deep into my emotions,
720
00:40:55,219 --> 00:40:59,156
which I don't like doing,
but she brings that out of me easily.
721
00:41:00,658 --> 00:41:01,759
Can I get one burp?
722
00:41:02,693 --> 00:41:03,693
Hm?
723
00:41:03,761 --> 00:41:04,761
[mewling]
724
00:41:06,530 --> 00:41:08,065
[car horns honking]
725
00:41:18,742 --> 00:41:21,145
So I just need to ask you
a few questions...
726
00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:23,314
- Yep.
- ...before we proceed with the MRI.
727
00:41:23,380 --> 00:41:26,450
There's no radiation involved,
so that's why we can do it on children.
728
00:41:26,517 --> 00:41:27,518
- Yep.
- All right?
729
00:41:27,585 --> 00:41:28,786
- Ready?
- Ready.
730
00:41:28,853 --> 00:41:32,389
[Anne] We had looked to see differences
in parenting style.
731
00:41:34,258 --> 00:41:37,795
Now we needed to see
how do these parenting styles
732
00:41:38,696 --> 00:41:40,898
affect areas of the infant's brain?
733
00:41:42,566 --> 00:41:43,434
And to do that,
734
00:41:43,501 --> 00:41:47,471
we needed to take the babies back
into the MRI for their six-month scan.
735
00:41:47,538 --> 00:41:48,372
[baby crying]
736
00:41:48,439 --> 00:41:50,207
♪ If you're happy and you know it... ♪
737
00:41:50,307 --> 00:41:52,910
[Anne] It's really hard to scan a baby.
738
00:41:53,010 --> 00:41:54,845
♪...and you know it
Clap your hands ♪
739
00:41:54,912 --> 00:41:58,282
[Anne] Because for a successful scan
you need to stay still.
740
00:41:58,349 --> 00:41:59,349
[woman] Wow!
741
00:41:59,884 --> 00:42:02,920
And that's not something
that comes naturally to infants.
742
00:42:05,756 --> 00:42:07,057
[Anne] So to make it easier,
743
00:42:07,124 --> 00:42:09,527
babies are fed before so they fall asleep.
744
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,175
[woman 1] Okay. Let's start the scan.
745
00:42:25,643 --> 00:42:26,777
Is the baby sleeping?
746
00:42:27,011 --> 00:42:28,011
[woman 2] Yeah.
747
00:42:28,445 --> 00:42:29,445
[woman 1] Okay.
748
00:42:30,314 --> 00:42:32,316
- There it is.
- Yes, coming up...
749
00:42:32,383 --> 00:42:33,751
[woman 2] It's coming right up.
750
00:42:35,419 --> 00:42:37,621
[woman 2] Are you okay
with the image quality of this?
751
00:42:40,925 --> 00:42:41,925
[woman 1] Yes.
752
00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:43,260
[woman 2] Perfect.
753
00:42:46,430 --> 00:42:50,367
[Anne] I went to my colleague Anqi Qiu,
an expert in neural imaging,
754
00:42:50,434 --> 00:42:52,169
whose team processed the data.
755
00:42:52,770 --> 00:42:56,373
I was really excited to see
what she had found.
756
00:42:57,975 --> 00:42:59,944
[Anqi] Here is actually
the structural image.
757
00:43:00,945 --> 00:43:04,081
And now you can see red dots showing up.
758
00:43:05,015 --> 00:43:06,917
That's where the hippocampus is.
759
00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:09,792
[Anne] So this is just one baby,
though, right?
760
00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:11,055
[Anqi] Yes, it is.
761
00:43:11,121 --> 00:43:13,924
But if you look at all the scans we have,
762
00:43:13,991 --> 00:43:16,627
you look at individuals,
and they have a very similar pattern.
763
00:43:17,728 --> 00:43:19,830
This was really quite incredible.
764
00:43:20,931 --> 00:43:22,499
[Anne] The hippocampus,
765
00:43:22,566 --> 00:43:25,002
this area towards the middle of the brain,
766
00:43:25,869 --> 00:43:27,037
that differed
767
00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:29,039
according to parenting styles.
768
00:43:29,573 --> 00:43:35,379
The infants who had received
less responsive caregiving,
769
00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:39,083
their hippocampi were a bit bigger.
770
00:43:42,186 --> 00:43:43,654
[Anne] This was surprising,
771
00:43:44,588 --> 00:43:47,491
because the hippocampus
is really important to learning
772
00:43:47,558 --> 00:43:49,193
and to managing distress.
773
00:43:49,693 --> 00:43:54,732
So what it suggests is that the babies
were having to manage their own stress,
774
00:43:54,798 --> 00:43:58,302
because they're not getting
quite as much support from their parents.
775
00:44:00,671 --> 00:44:04,742
Even at six months,
these everyday differences in parenting
776
00:44:04,808 --> 00:44:06,577
were actually linked
777
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:10,514
to observable differences
in the structure of the infant brain.
778
00:44:10,581 --> 00:44:12,182
[Anqi] Hey! Good job.
779
00:44:12,249 --> 00:44:16,453
To my knowledge, that was the first time
a group had seen this.
780
00:44:31,435 --> 00:44:34,371
[Anne] When a parent is attentive
and responsive,
781
00:44:34,438 --> 00:44:37,708
the baby is learning
that the world is a safe place,
782
00:44:38,375 --> 00:44:42,680
and that frees up time for them
to explore their environment.
783
00:44:44,815 --> 00:44:49,386
When a baby doesn't get
those same signals from the parent...
784
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,321
[laughter]
785
00:44:51,388 --> 00:44:57,795
...the baby may need to prioritize
thinking about safety and comfort
786
00:44:57,861 --> 00:44:59,329
rather than exploration.
787
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,835
I'm the last person to say
that parenting is easy.
788
00:45:05,803 --> 00:45:07,805
None of us do this perfectly.
789
00:45:11,775 --> 00:45:16,313
What is important
is that the overall experience
790
00:45:16,380 --> 00:45:20,984
that the child is receiving
is one of attentive and responsive care.
791
00:45:22,386 --> 00:45:25,823
And I think, for parents,
that's reassuring.
792
00:45:27,157 --> 00:45:31,261
Itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the water spout
793
00:45:32,196 --> 00:45:36,700
Down came the rain
And washed the spider out
794
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:42,005
♪ Up came the sun
And dried up all the rain ♪
795
00:45:42,706 --> 00:45:45,442
♪ The itsy-bitsy spider ♪
796
00:45:46,310 --> 00:45:49,213
Climbed up the spout again
797
00:45:49,446 --> 00:45:50,447
[squeals]
798
00:45:50,514 --> 00:45:51,548
[Adam] Yay!
799
00:45:52,816 --> 00:45:54,017
[cooing]
800
00:45:54,084 --> 00:45:56,386
Mommy missed you, Dakota.
801
00:45:56,453 --> 00:45:59,323
[Destiny] I'm comfortable leaving,
802
00:45:59,790 --> 00:46:02,359
and so, um, it just gives me a lotta hope.
803
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:03,861
It gives me a lotta, lotta hope.
804
00:46:03,927 --> 00:46:05,763
[Destiny] Come on, Dakota. Come get Mommy.
805
00:46:08,232 --> 00:46:10,367
[Isaac] I think we're gonna
make good parents.
806
00:46:10,434 --> 00:46:14,538
But there's a lot of stuff
that you learn on the way. [chuckles]
807
00:46:16,673 --> 00:46:17,941
[Josh] Hi!
808
00:46:18,842 --> 00:46:20,811
[woman] Woo!
809
00:46:23,147 --> 00:46:25,349
[Rachel] It's not just her
being a baby now.
810
00:46:25,415 --> 00:46:27,618
She's a real part of our family,
811
00:46:27,684 --> 00:46:30,087
and she's growing into her own person.
812
00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:40,998
[man] Babies are the ultimate mystery.
813
00:46:41,064 --> 00:46:43,667
They're much more complex
than we ever thought.
814
00:46:43,734 --> 00:46:44,835
[man] Ba-ba!
815
00:46:44,902 --> 00:46:45,936
[baby] Ba-tha.
816
00:46:46,003 --> 00:46:47,171
[woman] Good boy!
817
00:46:47,237 --> 00:46:49,807
How do they learn language?
818
00:46:52,276 --> 00:46:53,911
Why are they sleeping so much?
819
00:46:55,412 --> 00:47:00,117
How is it that babies learn to crawl,
and what do they learn
820
00:47:00,184 --> 00:47:02,052
when they're crawling around in the world?
821
00:47:02,619 --> 00:47:04,254
[babbling excitedly]
822
00:47:05,622 --> 00:47:07,591
One of the great puzzles is,
823
00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:09,326
what's it like to be a baby?
824
00:47:09,393 --> 00:47:11,395
[theme music playing]