1 00:00:49,085 --> 00:00:54,085 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:03:22,292 --> 00:03:26,583 'Dear God, watch over me as I embark on this next posting. 3 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,500 'Think I'll have to get up at about six tomorrow. 4 00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:39,000 'The pain in my stomach persists 5 00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:42,458 'and is now further hampered by menstruation. 6 00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:45,958 'I have taken two ibuprofen and Milk of Magnesia. 7 00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:52,417 'Forgive me my impatience 8 00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:55,167 'but I hope you will reveal your plan for me soon. 9 00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:58,125 'I can't shake the feeling that you must have saved me 10 00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:00,083 'for something greater than this. 11 00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:05,083 'Not that I'm complaining or anything. 12 00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:06,333 'Amen.' 13 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,542 - Hi. Are you Maud? - Yes. Hi. 14 00:04:54,667 --> 00:04:58,500 So, I left some notes out on the kitchen table with all her bits. 15 00:04:58,625 --> 00:05:00,125 She has a mate coming over tomorrow. 16 00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,083 Try and keep her off the sauce. 17 00:05:02,208 --> 00:05:04,625 Doctor's just started her on a new course of B12 shots 18 00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:08,167 so she's having one of those every evening before dinner. 19 00:05:08,292 --> 00:05:11,708 Your bedroom's upstairs on the left. Her majesty's in there, having a nap. 20 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,708 How is she? 21 00:05:14,917 --> 00:05:17,458 Bit of a cunt. Have fun. 22 00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:11,875 'Amanda Köhl. 23 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:14,750 '49 years old.' 24 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,583 Can you feel that? 25 00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:19,167 'Stage four lymphoma of the spinal cord.' 26 00:06:19,292 --> 00:06:20,292 Yep. 27 00:06:20,417 --> 00:06:22,125 Yep, yep. 28 00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:24,875 'I daresay you'll be seeing this one soon.' 29 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,375 - Feel that? - Uh-huh. 30 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,375 - We done? - Mm-hm. 31 00:06:32,667 --> 00:06:34,458 What time would you like dinner? 32 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:35,708 Eight o'clock. 33 00:06:38,042 --> 00:06:40,833 There's a shopping list on the hall table. 34 00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:44,792 I got it. 35 00:07:06,583 --> 00:07:08,875 'I looked her up before I came here. 36 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,208 'Dancer, choreographer, minor celebrity. 37 00:07:13,292 --> 00:07:15,542 'As you know, I have little time for creative types 38 00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:17,875 'as they tend to be rather self-involved. 39 00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:30,083 What are you cooking up in there? 40 00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:32,292 Spaghetti Bolognese and garlic bread. 41 00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:34,458 Splendid. 42 00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:56,708 - Is that temperature all right? - Mm, it's fine. 43 00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:41,875 Hello. 44 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,708 - Who's your saint? - Mary Magdalene. 45 00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,833 I didn't know they made necklaces of her. 46 00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:54,250 I ordered it online. 47 00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:02,708 You're prettier than the last one. 48 00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:22,333 Hey. 49 00:10:23,917 --> 00:10:25,000 What do you think? 50 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,208 It's good. 51 00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:39,417 - You must be Mary. - No, Maud. 52 00:10:39,542 --> 00:10:40,542 Ah. 53 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,292 Hope we're not turfing you out. 54 00:10:43,417 --> 00:10:46,333 - No, no. I'm going to meet a friend. - Good, good. 55 00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:47,542 Cheerio, then. 56 00:10:50,875 --> 00:10:53,583 'I should have told her I'd be happy just to stay in my room. 57 00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,375 'She must be embarrassed.' 58 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,250 - Can you spare some change, please? - Sorry, mate, I ain't got nothing. 59 00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:10,583 Fuck off, then. 60 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,042 Excuse me, Miss. 61 00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:16,500 Can you spare some change, please? 62 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:23,667 Thank you, love. 63 00:11:23,792 --> 00:11:25,792 Bit, er... Bit nippy out, innit? 64 00:11:25,917 --> 00:11:28,000 May God bless you and never waste your pain. 65 00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:29,917 - What? - Nothing. 66 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:33,542 God bless you too, sweetheart. 67 00:11:40,292 --> 00:11:43,000 'Why would someone like her end up in a town like this? 68 00:11:46,583 --> 00:11:49,583 'This dump can't appeal to her any more than it does to me. 69 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:01,500 Hello? 70 00:12:02,583 --> 00:12:04,375 What's happened? 71 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:05,583 Come back to London. 72 00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:08,250 You can't just lock yourself up here. You should be around people. 73 00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:11,125 Why the fuck do you care so much all of a sudden? 74 00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:13,875 Don't be petulant. You're getting dangerously Norma Desmond. 75 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,917 Oh, fuck you! 76 00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:17,708 You stupid cow. 77 00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:21,000 - Hello. - Hello! 78 00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:27,292 Sorry to call you back early. 79 00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:30,292 Silly old thing used to knock it back no problem. 80 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,917 Even I couldn't keep up with her. 81 00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:33,583 Things are different now. 82 00:12:33,708 --> 00:12:35,167 Yes. 83 00:12:35,292 --> 00:12:36,333 Yes, of course. 84 00:12:38,375 --> 00:12:40,542 Do you, um... need me to do anything? 85 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:41,917 No. 86 00:12:42,042 --> 00:12:45,458 - She'll be all right? - Oh, don't be an idiot, Richard. 87 00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:48,583 Yes, well... take care of yourself, darling. 88 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,792 Pompous arsehole. 89 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:11,125 You should've seen him way back. He was constantly trying to fuck me. 90 00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:12,708 He has plugs now. Did you see? 91 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,500 - No. - No. 92 00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:16,625 Well... 93 00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:18,833 No one sees what they don't want to. 94 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:49,958 Stay with me. 95 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,667 I don't want to be alone. 96 00:14:10,292 --> 00:14:12,333 How long have you been doing this? 97 00:14:12,458 --> 00:14:13,792 Just over a year. 98 00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,583 What were you doing before? 99 00:14:17,708 --> 00:14:20,042 I worked at St Afra's hospital. 100 00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:21,458 Horrible place. 101 00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,167 Have you seen a lot of death? 102 00:14:28,125 --> 00:14:29,125 Yes. 103 00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,042 What made you leave? 104 00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:40,458 I don't know, I just needed a change. 105 00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:43,458 I dunno. 106 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,667 I think I was spread too thin. 107 00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,542 And it's what God wanted. 108 00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:56,750 When he came, everything changed. 109 00:14:58,292 --> 00:15:00,500 So this is a recent conversion? 110 00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:07,333 When you pray, do you get a response? 111 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,083 Sometimes he talks. 112 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:16,958 You hear his voice? 113 00:15:19,917 --> 00:15:21,667 Most of the time it... 114 00:15:21,792 --> 00:15:25,000 It's just like he's physically... 115 00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:28,500 in me or around me. 116 00:15:30,042 --> 00:15:31,250 It's how he guides me. 117 00:15:32,792 --> 00:15:35,708 Like, when he's pleased, it's like a... 118 00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,625 a shiver or... 119 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:40,417 sometimes it's like a pulsing. 120 00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:43,292 And it's all... 121 00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:45,958 warm and good. 122 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,750 And he's just there. 123 00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,542 Nothing feels real anymore. 124 00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:09,208 Ever since I moved back here, 125 00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:11,792 I keep thinking about that last moment 126 00:16:12,583 --> 00:16:13,792 and wondering... 127 00:16:15,417 --> 00:16:17,083 ...what it will be like. 128 00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:20,042 What will I be looking at? 129 00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:23,667 Will there be anyone else there? 130 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,167 And then what? 131 00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:33,708 Nothing? 132 00:16:36,708 --> 00:16:38,083 Tell me I'm wrong. 133 00:16:43,875 --> 00:16:45,125 There is more. 134 00:16:46,458 --> 00:16:48,292 And not just afterwards. 135 00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:50,958 He's everywhere. 136 00:16:53,042 --> 00:16:54,375 He sees you. 137 00:16:55,917 --> 00:16:57,542 He won't let you fall. 138 00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:13,250 My little saviour. 139 00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:15,375 'Father, thank you.' 140 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:18,500 And bring your hand to join... 141 00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:22,125 ...your right hand. 142 00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:24,917 And then draw a semi-circle above your head. 143 00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:29,792 'Now, don't get me wrong, palliative care is noble work. 144 00:19:31,375 --> 00:19:34,417 'But I always knew you had something more planned for me. 145 00:19:38,958 --> 00:19:42,792 'It takes nothing special to mop up after the decrepit and the dying. 146 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,250 'But to save a soul, 147 00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:49,042 'that's quite something. 148 00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:57,917 'Your presence graces the air 149 00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:01,625 'and I feel fuller of your love than ever before. 150 00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:05,583 'More than enough to share.' 151 00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,250 Oh. 152 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:44,000 I can see you. 153 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:50,875 Yes? 154 00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:54,792 - Cynthia left? - Yes, I'm Maud. 155 00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:58,125 - Carol. - It's too late to be visiting now. 156 00:20:58,250 --> 00:20:59,958 - It... - She's expecting me. 157 00:21:04,292 --> 00:21:05,292 She's sleeping. 158 00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:23,000 Maud? 159 00:22:23,125 --> 00:22:24,542 Come and join me. 160 00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:28,625 'He ended his life last month 161 00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:31,000 'at a legalised euthanasia clinic in Switzerland. 162 00:22:31,875 --> 00:22:34,958 'John said it was his final wish to have a peaceful, pain-free death 163 00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:37,958 'with his family by his side.' 164 00:22:38,083 --> 00:22:39,333 'Thanks, Julia. 165 00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:44,250 'Before he passed, John wrote an open letter to MPs here in England. 166 00:22:44,375 --> 00:22:47,000 'He wanted everybody to know...' 167 00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:59,667 Dear God, here is Amanda. 168 00:23:00,125 --> 00:23:01,917 Well, you know that. 169 00:23:02,042 --> 00:23:04,083 Thank you for bringing us together, Lord. 170 00:23:05,375 --> 00:23:07,958 And thank you for this meal which we gratefully receive. 171 00:23:13,208 --> 00:23:15,167 Bless Amanda's body 172 00:23:15,292 --> 00:23:17,000 which is hurting now 173 00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:20,250 but has done so many wonderful things. 174 00:23:20,375 --> 00:23:22,000 And bless her mind, 175 00:23:22,125 --> 00:23:24,375 which is shrouded in darkness, 176 00:23:25,625 --> 00:23:28,083 and reach out to her like you did to me. 177 00:23:29,917 --> 00:23:31,208 Amen. 178 00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:41,542 He's here? 179 00:23:52,083 --> 00:23:53,875 I feel it too. 180 00:24:51,333 --> 00:24:53,458 You look beautiful. 181 00:24:53,583 --> 00:24:56,167 - No! - Yes. 182 00:26:06,375 --> 00:26:07,458 Hey. 183 00:26:09,042 --> 00:26:10,958 No, I can't tonight. 184 00:26:11,083 --> 00:26:12,542 You know where I am. 185 00:26:12,667 --> 00:26:14,167 She's all right. 186 00:26:14,292 --> 00:26:15,417 Bit weird but... 187 00:26:15,542 --> 00:26:17,458 Shh. I gotta go. 188 00:26:18,208 --> 00:26:19,625 Yeah, OK. Bye, bye. 189 00:26:23,417 --> 00:26:25,042 Maud, your face. 190 00:26:37,042 --> 00:26:39,125 Oh, shit. 191 00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:40,708 Fuck, it's all over her dressing gown. 192 00:26:40,833 --> 00:26:41,917 Shit. 193 00:26:43,750 --> 00:26:45,292 Maud, I can do it. 194 00:26:46,083 --> 00:26:49,583 - Don't let her drink too much. - Don't worry, it's mostly for me. 195 00:26:52,125 --> 00:26:54,125 Honey, come back to me. 196 00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:02,333 'Religious themes would play a prominent role 197 00:27:02,458 --> 00:27:04,833 'throughout Blake's career, 198 00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:07,875 'namely a rejection of organised religion, 199 00:27:10,208 --> 00:27:14,875 'which he claimed was an ugly distortion of a true spiritual life.' 200 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,042 Hm. 201 00:28:35,250 --> 00:28:36,250 Bye. 202 00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:39,458 Carol? 203 00:28:39,583 --> 00:28:40,583 Hey. 204 00:28:43,667 --> 00:28:44,875 I need to talk to you. 205 00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:47,292 Yeah? 206 00:28:51,333 --> 00:28:54,958 - What's up? - I want you to stop seeing Amanda. 207 00:28:55,625 --> 00:28:57,792 - Huh? - Just leave her alone. 208 00:28:57,917 --> 00:29:00,583 - Did she tell you to come after me? - No, I'm telling you. 209 00:29:00,708 --> 00:29:02,250 It's an important time for her. 210 00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:06,000 She's got big things to deal with and she needs to be focused. 211 00:29:06,958 --> 00:29:10,125 And I just don't think you can fit into that anymore. 212 00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,125 I don't know what you're talking about, but... 213 00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:14,500 I'm sure your patient's sex life is none of your business. 214 00:29:14,625 --> 00:29:16,083 I know she's giving you money. 215 00:29:16,750 --> 00:29:19,042 Again, none of your fucking business. 216 00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:22,708 Look, I'm trying to be respectful. 217 00:29:22,833 --> 00:29:24,958 I didn't swear at you or anything. 218 00:29:25,083 --> 00:29:26,208 I just... 219 00:29:27,208 --> 00:29:29,833 - I just don't think it's a good idea. - Please. Respectful? 220 00:29:30,375 --> 00:29:32,000 You just don't like that she fucks women. 221 00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:34,083 You could have an eight-inch cock for all I care. 222 00:29:34,208 --> 00:29:36,750 I'd still be telling you this after the way you looked at her. 223 00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:39,208 - Whoa. What? - What was that, by the way? 224 00:29:40,167 --> 00:29:42,958 Do you think you're too good for her? Do you think this is a joke? 225 00:29:43,083 --> 00:29:45,083 - Of course not. - Amanda is dying. 226 00:29:45,833 --> 00:29:48,625 I have a responsibility to look after her. 227 00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:51,958 This is life and death. 228 00:29:52,083 --> 00:29:54,667 It's spiritual, on another level. 229 00:29:55,583 --> 00:29:58,458 No hard feelings. I'm sure you're great in bed. 230 00:29:58,583 --> 00:30:00,500 But you're just a waste of her time at the moment. 231 00:30:01,417 --> 00:30:03,583 Can you hear yourself? 232 00:30:03,708 --> 00:30:05,458 Maud, you're her nurse. 233 00:30:05,583 --> 00:30:08,458 She doesn't want you to see it but she is vulnerable right now. 234 00:30:09,333 --> 00:30:12,333 And it is not right that she spends her last days 235 00:30:12,458 --> 00:30:16,042 getting worked up about a silly girl who doesn't care about her. 236 00:30:16,167 --> 00:30:18,042 - I care about her. - Not enough. 237 00:30:20,250 --> 00:30:22,500 - What are you doing? - I'm leaving. 238 00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:23,667 Oh. 239 00:30:26,208 --> 00:30:27,792 OK, so you'll do it? 240 00:30:28,750 --> 00:30:30,250 Anything you say, Maud. 241 00:30:32,667 --> 00:30:34,250 Don't tell her I told you, though. 242 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,292 Just, you know, make something up. 243 00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:39,625 Don't hurt her feelings. 244 00:30:40,333 --> 00:30:41,792 OK. 245 00:30:41,917 --> 00:30:43,125 OK. 246 00:30:55,208 --> 00:30:56,542 'I think it went well. 247 00:30:59,458 --> 00:31:02,500 'A whole day and her phone has been silent. 248 00:31:04,208 --> 00:31:06,250 'It must be a relief to her too. 249 00:31:09,125 --> 00:31:11,292 'She radiates peace, 250 00:31:11,417 --> 00:31:14,833 'and I am reminded of myself in the first flushes of your love.' 251 00:31:19,167 --> 00:31:21,042 'We don't need anyone else.' 252 00:31:37,917 --> 00:31:39,042 Katie? 253 00:31:42,750 --> 00:31:43,958 Katie! 254 00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:47,708 Katie, hey! I thought that was you. 255 00:31:49,417 --> 00:31:51,042 How's it going? It's been ages. 256 00:31:51,667 --> 00:31:53,083 Yeah, good. 257 00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:56,417 How are you, Joy? 258 00:31:56,542 --> 00:31:59,458 Yeah, not bad, not bad. You know, knackered. 259 00:31:59,583 --> 00:32:01,208 Got patients sleeping in corridors. 260 00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:03,750 Surgeries all double-booked. It's a total madhouse. 261 00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:09,708 So, how's it going? Are you taking care of yourself? 262 00:32:09,833 --> 00:32:10,833 Yeah. 263 00:32:10,958 --> 00:32:12,750 We all thought you must've left town. 264 00:32:12,875 --> 00:32:14,458 No one sees you out and about anymore. 265 00:32:15,542 --> 00:32:17,625 - I've been around. - Oh, yeah? 266 00:32:17,750 --> 00:32:20,167 - What are you up to? - I'm a private carer. 267 00:32:21,375 --> 00:32:22,958 You're still nursing? 268 00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:24,625 - What? - Nothing. 269 00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:26,083 Just surprised. I mean... 270 00:32:27,125 --> 00:32:29,625 - Where are you doing it? Who with? - A private agency. 271 00:32:29,750 --> 00:32:31,583 - And they know what happened? - Yes. 272 00:32:34,417 --> 00:32:36,500 Well, I've got to go. It was nice to see you, Joy. 273 00:32:38,958 --> 00:32:40,000 Katie. 274 00:32:49,042 --> 00:32:50,792 Take my number, yeah? 275 00:32:50,917 --> 00:32:51,958 What? 276 00:32:52,625 --> 00:32:56,042 If you ever want to talk or get a drink or... anything. 277 00:33:14,375 --> 00:33:15,667 That one there. 278 00:33:19,375 --> 00:33:21,042 Yes, and then that one. 279 00:33:30,625 --> 00:33:32,250 Uh, you can't do that. 280 00:33:32,375 --> 00:33:33,333 What? 281 00:33:33,958 --> 00:33:37,167 You... you slipped those cards in. 282 00:33:37,833 --> 00:33:38,833 Did I? 283 00:33:42,833 --> 00:33:44,208 It's no fun if you cheat. 284 00:33:44,333 --> 00:33:47,083 Which one was it? Hm, that one. 285 00:33:49,833 --> 00:33:51,625 Can you give me a moment? 286 00:33:51,750 --> 00:33:53,792 - Uh, yes. - And take that away. 287 00:33:56,375 --> 00:33:59,000 - Ooh, can I have a cup of tea? - Of course. 288 00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:03,000 Hello. 289 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:06,208 I didn't expect to hear from you. 290 00:34:16,625 --> 00:34:18,042 What do you mean? 291 00:34:20,542 --> 00:34:21,542 Why? 292 00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:39,958 There you go. 293 00:34:43,917 --> 00:34:47,083 You know, I've been thinking, it might be nice to go out sometime, 294 00:34:47,208 --> 00:34:48,833 to the theatre or something. 295 00:34:49,417 --> 00:34:53,250 I would have no clue what to see but I'm sure you can suggest something. 296 00:34:54,583 --> 00:34:57,250 - And maybe after I leave... - I want to go to bed. 297 00:35:00,208 --> 00:35:01,583 It's five o'clock. 298 00:35:02,042 --> 00:35:04,042 I will go to bed when I damn well like. 299 00:35:06,042 --> 00:35:07,458 Yes, of course. 300 00:35:08,625 --> 00:35:10,125 Now is not the time. 301 00:36:39,042 --> 00:36:40,375 I need you to go into town. 302 00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:41,500 Yeah? 303 00:36:41,625 --> 00:36:44,250 To pick up some things for tonight. I'll make a list. 304 00:36:45,083 --> 00:36:46,333 OK, no problem. 305 00:37:28,958 --> 00:37:31,917 Oh, yes! 306 00:37:52,083 --> 00:37:54,333 - Is it ready? - I'm just lighting the candles. 307 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,250 Plates. 308 00:38:09,958 --> 00:38:11,167 Get the lights. 309 00:38:18,458 --> 00:38:22,875 ♪ Happy birthday to you 310 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:27,083 ♪ Happy birthday to you 311 00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:32,083 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Amanda 312 00:38:32,208 --> 00:38:36,167 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 313 00:38:44,167 --> 00:38:46,000 - Lights. - Make a wish. 314 00:39:00,875 --> 00:39:03,375 So, Carol, how did you and Mandy meet? 315 00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:04,833 We met online. 316 00:39:04,958 --> 00:39:06,583 Ah, so now you have a ménage à trois. 317 00:39:06,708 --> 00:39:09,125 Hardly. Maud doesn't like Carol. 318 00:39:10,042 --> 00:39:14,250 It's funny, I can't figure out if she's a bigot or if she's just jealous. 319 00:39:14,375 --> 00:39:18,458 She went sneaking behind my back to try to scare Carol away. 320 00:39:20,250 --> 00:39:24,125 To save my soul, if I understand correctly. 321 00:39:26,875 --> 00:39:28,167 Excuse me. 322 00:39:28,292 --> 00:39:31,042 Don't run away. I'm talking to you. 323 00:39:31,167 --> 00:39:34,083 Maud is my saviour, you see. 324 00:39:34,958 --> 00:39:38,875 She's been looking out for me in more ways than one, but... 325 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,042 you got a little carried away, didn't you? 326 00:39:43,625 --> 00:39:44,792 So, what is it? 327 00:39:47,458 --> 00:39:48,625 Am I indecent? 328 00:39:49,333 --> 00:39:50,875 No, you're lost. 329 00:39:52,833 --> 00:39:55,208 Richard, want to show us some moves? 330 00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,208 There's my little saint. 331 00:40:35,917 --> 00:40:38,000 Oh, no, no. Sweetheart, no, no, no. 332 00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:41,375 You know you shouldn't take anything I say seriously. 333 00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:43,208 I just wanna see you loosen up. 334 00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:45,375 You are a beautiful young woman, 335 00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:48,208 and you should have some fun while you still can. 336 00:40:49,792 --> 00:40:52,375 I've got more important things on my mind. 337 00:40:52,500 --> 00:40:54,000 Oh, yes, of course. 338 00:40:54,125 --> 00:40:57,833 How could mere human frivolity possibly compete 339 00:40:57,958 --> 00:41:00,333 with the heavenly Father's warm heart pulsing... 340 00:41:02,375 --> 00:41:03,875 Let's go. Let's go. 341 00:41:20,542 --> 00:41:22,250 Maybe if you just let me talk to her. 342 00:41:22,375 --> 00:41:24,083 No, absolutely not. 343 00:41:24,208 --> 00:41:26,542 You should be thankful she isn't pressing charges. 344 00:41:29,708 --> 00:41:32,750 Ms Köhl expressed some other concerns. 345 00:41:32,875 --> 00:41:34,000 Is everything all right? 346 00:41:38,750 --> 00:41:39,792 I'm fine. 347 00:42:56,792 --> 00:42:58,708 'God, 348 00:42:58,833 --> 00:43:00,958 'all I feel of you now is this pain. 349 00:43:02,083 --> 00:43:03,750 'A gnawing burning. 350 00:43:05,875 --> 00:43:08,958 'Maybe it's ulcers or cancer 351 00:43:09,083 --> 00:43:10,750 'or appendicitis. 352 00:43:11,667 --> 00:43:13,167 'If you're trying to teach me something, 353 00:43:14,458 --> 00:43:15,958 'I can't see what it is. 354 00:43:37,542 --> 00:43:40,208 'Quite frankly it all just seems such a waste. 355 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,583 'I was ready and open and alive 356 00:43:45,708 --> 00:43:47,833 'and this is my reward: 357 00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:49,125 'unemployable, 358 00:43:50,458 --> 00:43:51,583 'unoccupied. 359 00:43:57,375 --> 00:43:59,458 'Perhaps you weren't as wise as I thought. 360 00:44:01,292 --> 00:44:03,417 'Perhaps I wasn't paying enough attention. 361 00:44:15,417 --> 00:44:18,667 'I can't help but feel an act of spite has occurred. 362 00:44:28,375 --> 00:44:31,167 'If this is how you treat your most loyal subjects 363 00:44:33,125 --> 00:44:35,792 'I shudder to think what awaits those who shun you.' 364 00:46:18,250 --> 00:46:19,292 Yes, that's it. 365 00:46:19,417 --> 00:46:20,500 Yeah, yeah. 366 00:46:21,458 --> 00:46:23,167 Oh, yes. Oh! 367 00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:27,292 - Not yet. - Oh! 368 00:46:27,417 --> 00:46:28,708 Oh, God! 369 00:46:28,833 --> 00:46:30,458 Oh, sorry. Oh. 370 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:44,583 See you later. 371 00:47:43,292 --> 00:47:45,250 Hey, Joy, it's Katie. 372 00:47:47,125 --> 00:47:51,792 Hey. Yeah, I was just wondering if you wanna go for that drink, 373 00:47:51,917 --> 00:47:55,625 you know, have that chat and just hang out, 374 00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:57,625 like you said, to chat. 375 00:47:59,667 --> 00:48:01,042 Cool. Great. 376 00:48:01,167 --> 00:48:02,458 That's great. 377 00:48:03,083 --> 00:48:05,250 Well, you know, if I'm honest with you, 378 00:48:05,375 --> 00:48:08,750 I did think it was kind of weird when I saw you and you suggested it, 379 00:48:08,875 --> 00:48:11,708 just because you never seemed to like me that much. 380 00:48:13,583 --> 00:48:14,583 No... 381 00:48:14,708 --> 00:48:18,208 No, no, no, no. I didn't... I didn't mean... 382 00:48:18,333 --> 00:48:19,500 Don't be like that. 383 00:48:21,167 --> 00:48:24,625 Well, I'm just at the Star at the moment with some friends, 384 00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:27,750 but I think they're heading off soon but I'm gonna hang around a bit. 385 00:48:27,875 --> 00:48:29,542 Oh, sorry. 386 00:48:30,792 --> 00:48:31,875 Yeah, of course. 387 00:48:33,458 --> 00:48:36,125 In that case, my apologies. 388 00:48:36,250 --> 00:48:38,917 I'm being stupid so, uh, bye. 389 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:13,375 Oh, careful. 390 00:49:23,458 --> 00:49:24,875 You owe me a drink. 391 00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:57,083 Is everything OK? 392 00:49:58,042 --> 00:49:59,667 Shh, shh, shh. 393 00:50:01,375 --> 00:50:03,167 Shh, it's OK. It's OK. 394 00:50:05,250 --> 00:50:06,250 Shh. 395 00:50:08,292 --> 00:50:09,292 Come on. 396 00:50:10,458 --> 00:50:12,000 - Easy. - No. 397 00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:13,250 Easy! 398 00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:45,917 I remember you, you know. 399 00:50:48,125 --> 00:50:50,083 You used to be out all the time. 400 00:50:50,958 --> 00:50:52,083 While back. 401 00:50:53,375 --> 00:50:54,583 I think... 402 00:50:55,958 --> 00:50:57,792 you and my mate Tommy had it off. 403 00:50:59,750 --> 00:51:02,375 Ah, I remember you. 404 00:51:02,500 --> 00:51:05,000 A lovely, lovely little nursey, hey? 405 00:52:04,417 --> 00:52:05,875 I did everything. 406 00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:09,792 Everything. I changed, didn't I? 407 00:52:12,333 --> 00:52:14,125 I thought I did what you told me to do. 408 00:52:14,250 --> 00:52:15,250 Didn't I? 409 00:52:17,375 --> 00:52:18,667 Please. 410 00:52:18,792 --> 00:52:20,792 Please don't let me fall again. 411 00:52:22,292 --> 00:52:23,500 I'm begging you. 412 00:52:24,958 --> 00:52:26,167 I'll do anything. 413 00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:30,375 Please guide me. 414 00:54:32,042 --> 00:54:34,792 'Revelation, and just in time. 415 00:54:37,667 --> 00:54:40,667 'Oh, Lord, your mercy knows no bounds. 416 00:54:40,792 --> 00:54:42,958 'For shame that I almost fell so easily.' 417 00:56:35,042 --> 00:56:37,000 'I should have expected resistance. 418 00:56:38,750 --> 00:56:40,958 'Nothing worthwhile comes easily. 419 00:57:03,500 --> 00:57:04,917 'Amanda. 420 00:57:05,042 --> 00:57:07,250 'Amanda, Amanda. 421 00:57:07,375 --> 00:57:08,875 'You called to me, Amanda. 422 00:57:10,125 --> 00:57:12,042 'It was no small thing. 423 00:57:12,167 --> 00:57:13,667 'It meant something. 424 00:57:16,750 --> 00:57:18,250 'Never waste your pain. 425 00:57:19,208 --> 00:57:21,625 'Never waste your pain.' 426 00:58:30,333 --> 00:58:32,792 Beautiful. 427 00:58:32,917 --> 00:58:33,917 Mm. 428 00:58:37,333 --> 00:58:39,917 - Do you mind if I sit? - Hm? Course not. 429 00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:49,375 Oh, you don't work at St Afra's, do you? 430 00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:50,958 Oh, no, no. I'm a private carer. 431 00:58:51,583 --> 00:58:53,125 Oh, right. 432 00:58:53,833 --> 00:58:57,375 I have a friend who works at St Afra's and I wondered if you knew her. 433 00:58:57,500 --> 00:58:59,333 Oh, their uniform is blue. 434 00:59:00,250 --> 00:59:03,333 I honestly have so much respect 435 00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:05,833 for anyone in the medical profession. 436 00:59:05,958 --> 00:59:07,333 Like, any area. 437 00:59:08,208 --> 00:59:10,833 I really think it's the most important thing 438 00:59:10,958 --> 00:59:13,042 you can do with your life, almost. 439 00:59:14,208 --> 00:59:16,417 Thank you. That's so sweet. 440 00:59:16,542 --> 00:59:19,625 Yeah, it can be really rewarding. 441 00:59:19,750 --> 00:59:21,583 Not all that glamorous, but yeah. 442 00:59:22,667 --> 00:59:25,333 - I love it. - I bet you get no time for yourself. 443 00:59:26,125 --> 00:59:28,375 Oh, it's fine. I have my own life. 444 00:59:28,500 --> 00:59:30,125 My own things. 445 00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:31,792 Got choir practice. 446 00:59:35,208 --> 00:59:38,417 This person you're with at the moment, what's wrong with them? 447 00:59:38,542 --> 00:59:39,667 Oh, I'm... 448 00:59:41,167 --> 00:59:43,792 ...not really supposed to discuss the details. 449 00:59:43,917 --> 00:59:46,083 But you have a good relationship? You get on with them? 450 00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:47,292 Mm, really well. 451 00:59:48,250 --> 00:59:51,250 I'm with a lovely lady at the minute. We're good pals. 452 00:59:53,500 --> 00:59:56,042 That's one of the things I love about the job. 453 00:59:56,167 --> 01:00:00,333 You find yourself quickly building these quite meaningful relationships 454 01:00:00,458 --> 01:00:04,000 and, you know, you're often right there 455 01:00:04,125 --> 01:00:06,583 at a very important time in people's lives. 456 01:00:08,625 --> 01:00:10,167 Yeah. 457 01:00:10,292 --> 01:00:12,500 Although that sometimes makes things harder in the end. 458 01:00:12,625 --> 01:00:13,875 When you have to leave? 459 01:00:14,500 --> 01:00:15,625 No, when they die. 460 01:00:16,917 --> 01:00:20,875 I don't think I'll be with this one much longer to be honest with you. 461 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,375 Sadly... 462 01:00:22,500 --> 01:00:25,167 that, as they say, 463 01:00:25,292 --> 01:00:26,958 is how the cookie crumbles. 464 01:00:31,500 --> 01:00:35,167 Oh, I'm Esther, by the way. What's your name? 465 01:00:45,667 --> 01:00:47,250 'What if I'm getting it all wrong? 466 01:00:49,333 --> 01:00:53,000 'What if you are smirking or indifferent 467 01:00:53,125 --> 01:00:55,667 'or think me a clueless idiot like that stupid woman? 468 01:00:58,833 --> 01:01:01,083 'Is that how Amanda saw me all along?' 469 01:02:59,292 --> 01:03:00,750 How will I know what to do? 470 01:04:45,208 --> 01:04:46,250 Katie? 471 01:04:50,208 --> 01:04:51,458 Katie, it's Joy. 472 01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:00,375 There you are. 473 01:05:00,500 --> 01:05:02,333 Oh, sorry. Did I get you out of bed? 474 01:05:03,875 --> 01:05:06,292 - Mind if I come in? - I'm busy. 475 01:05:06,417 --> 01:05:08,792 I'll be quick, I promise. I'm just on my way to work. 476 01:05:11,833 --> 01:05:13,042 Thanks, love. 477 01:05:15,250 --> 01:05:16,250 Oh. 478 01:05:17,958 --> 01:05:19,375 This is nice. 479 01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:23,750 Cor, you ain't half tidy, are you? 480 01:05:28,917 --> 01:05:30,958 I hope you don't mind. I got your address from work. 481 01:05:31,083 --> 01:05:32,792 Just wanted to see how you are. 482 01:05:38,167 --> 01:05:40,458 Oh, this is cool. 483 01:05:41,167 --> 01:05:42,583 I like all this. 484 01:05:43,958 --> 01:05:45,792 Sorry I couldn't see you the other night. 485 01:05:45,917 --> 01:05:49,333 I was so shattered, I don't think I would've been much fun. 486 01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:51,000 I tried to call but you didn't pick up. 487 01:05:52,958 --> 01:05:54,542 Want a ciggie? 488 01:05:59,208 --> 01:06:00,750 How's work going? 489 01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:04,750 Are you not with a patient at the moment? 490 01:06:12,958 --> 01:06:15,625 I've been feeling bad about the way I reacted last time I saw you. 491 01:06:16,583 --> 01:06:18,042 I'm sure you're doing a great job. 492 01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:20,042 You always did. 493 01:06:20,167 --> 01:06:22,042 And I know you put a lot of pressure on yourself. 494 01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:28,250 What happened before, it wasn't your fault. I know that. 495 01:06:29,708 --> 01:06:31,042 You do too, right? 496 01:06:38,542 --> 01:06:40,333 What's going on, Katie? 497 01:06:42,875 --> 01:06:44,250 Come on, you can tell me. 498 01:06:46,208 --> 01:06:49,417 Look, I know it's a bit late now, but I wanted to tell you. 499 01:06:50,333 --> 01:06:52,792 We should have been there before it all happened. 500 01:06:54,042 --> 01:06:56,250 We could see you were struggling for a while. 501 01:07:13,333 --> 01:07:16,167 I know it feels like everyone's in their own little bubble. 502 01:07:19,083 --> 01:07:20,667 But it does help to share. 503 01:07:39,667 --> 01:07:42,042 May the Lord bless and keep you, Joy. 504 01:07:43,208 --> 01:07:44,292 You what? 505 01:07:45,375 --> 01:07:47,417 It was sweet of you to come but you mustn't worry. 506 01:07:48,417 --> 01:07:50,917 You're right, back then I was so lost. 507 01:07:52,042 --> 01:07:54,833 But now I am transformed 508 01:07:54,958 --> 01:07:57,875 and soon everyone will see. 509 01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:02,583 Right. Well, that's good. 510 01:08:02,708 --> 01:08:05,458 Thank you, Joy. Thank you for coming. 511 01:08:10,958 --> 01:08:13,125 Oh? Oh, right. 512 01:08:16,125 --> 01:08:17,542 Are you sure you're OK, then? 513 01:08:20,083 --> 01:08:21,833 Oh, fuck, I should go, actually. 514 01:08:28,708 --> 01:08:30,875 I'm gonna come back later, all right? 515 01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:32,083 All right. 516 01:08:32,208 --> 01:08:34,375 I'm really glad things are looking up. 517 01:08:35,792 --> 01:08:36,792 See you later. 518 01:11:48,792 --> 01:11:51,042 I'm so sorry. 519 01:11:51,167 --> 01:11:53,833 I was unkind to you. 520 01:11:53,958 --> 01:11:57,083 You made me think of things I didn't want to. 521 01:12:00,167 --> 01:12:01,458 It's all right. 522 01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:04,542 - No. - It is, Amanda. 523 01:12:05,542 --> 01:12:07,708 The Lord forgives that which is said in anger. 524 01:12:08,917 --> 01:12:11,000 He knows your heart. 525 01:12:11,125 --> 01:12:12,500 The Lord. 526 01:12:12,625 --> 01:12:13,875 Yes, God. 527 01:12:15,625 --> 01:12:17,500 God sent me to you. 528 01:12:19,542 --> 01:12:21,000 He forgives everything. 529 01:12:22,625 --> 01:12:24,667 You only have to ask. 530 01:12:32,125 --> 01:12:33,500 Heavenly Father... 531 01:12:33,625 --> 01:12:35,542 - No, no. - Bless this woman in her pain. 532 01:12:36,125 --> 01:12:38,875 No, none of that nonsense. 533 01:12:45,708 --> 01:12:46,708 Amanda? 534 01:12:54,208 --> 01:12:57,792 You must be the loneliest girl I've ever seen. 535 01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:02,417 I'm here, Amanda. 536 01:13:04,042 --> 01:13:05,167 I am not alone. 537 01:13:06,833 --> 01:13:08,083 And neither are you. 538 01:13:08,208 --> 01:13:09,458 No. 539 01:13:09,583 --> 01:13:12,208 Snap out of it, honey. 540 01:13:17,417 --> 01:13:18,625 He isn't real. 541 01:13:20,042 --> 01:13:21,667 You must know that. 542 01:13:24,542 --> 01:13:25,708 No. 543 01:13:25,833 --> 01:13:28,208 You felt him too, remember? 544 01:13:28,333 --> 01:13:30,167 We both did. 545 01:13:30,292 --> 01:13:31,375 No, honey. 546 01:13:32,792 --> 01:13:34,458 I didn't. 547 01:13:36,708 --> 01:13:38,333 That's not true. 548 01:13:40,292 --> 01:13:43,875 You have no idea how dull it is to be dying. 549 01:13:49,208 --> 01:13:54,292 I hate to be the one to break it to you but it's just you and me here. 550 01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:00,333 Nothing you do matters. 551 01:14:10,333 --> 01:14:12,708 Well, that was easy. 552 01:14:18,250 --> 01:14:19,458 Devil. 553 01:14:29,042 --> 01:14:32,167 Take responsibility for your actions. 554 01:14:32,292 --> 01:14:35,542 You came back here because you are alone. 555 01:14:35,667 --> 01:14:37,875 If you were a true believer, He would be enough 556 01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:41,958 but it's clear now you are as weak as your faith. 557 01:17:14,458 --> 01:17:17,667 ♪ I saw the light 558 01:17:18,833 --> 01:17:21,917 ♪ I saw the light 559 01:17:23,708 --> 01:17:25,292 ♪ No more... 560 01:17:34,250 --> 01:17:37,125 ♪ I'm so happy 561 01:17:40,750 --> 01:17:43,708 ♪ No sorrow in sight 562 01:17:46,292 --> 01:17:49,083 ♪ Praise the Lord 563 01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:52,333 ♪ I saw... ♪ 564 01:18:36,125 --> 01:18:38,250 - Somebody stop her. - Hey, love! 565 01:18:40,333 --> 01:18:42,458 - Oh, my God! - No, no, no, don't! 566 01:19:28,940 --> 01:19:33,940 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull