1 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:15,719 I honestly have no idea why Teddy wants to meet. 2 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,399 Well, perhaps given your new position of authority, 3 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:23,799 he wishes to extend an olive branch, president to president. 4 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,719 Espionage is more likely. 5 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,999 To find out what the Players' summer show is. 6 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,839 Not that I've managed to decide what it is yet. 7 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,759 All in good time, Mrs Devine. 8 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:34,800 Why here? 9 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,199 Between us, Father, I've heard 10 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,439 that the Hambleston Amateur Dramatic Society... 11 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,639 HADS. 12 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:47,279 Is withering on the vine ever since Teddy took over from... 13 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,879 Emerald! 14 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,519 Fancy seeing you here. 15 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,479 Oh, I am so glad to see you both. 16 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,559 I don't suppose you happen to know... 17 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,320 Best to hear it direct from the horse's mouth. 18 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,640 Hmm. 19 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,880 Surely this can't be for HADS. 20 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,120 Not just for HADS, I hope. 21 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:14,199 Isabel. 22 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,439 Simply divine to see you. 23 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,160 And Father! 24 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,879 Emerald. 25 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,119 Teddy. 26 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,279 Welcome to Kembleston Manor. 27 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:28,559 Kembleston? 28 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,079 It's time to unite, Isabel. 29 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,199 Look, I'm not going to sugar-coat this, 30 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,319 HADS is in a bit of a pickle. 31 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:39,079 Most of the cast have... departed. 32 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:40,719 Amicably. 33 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,959 This is the most ambitious production I've ever directed. 34 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:47,959 We open at the end of the month, so needs must. 35 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,239 Will you join us? 36 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:54,839 Well, to perform in an actual theatre would be thrilling. 37 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,199 What is the play, if you don't mind my asking? 38 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,039 Oh, I think you'll approve, Father, 39 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,919 life imitating art and all that. 40 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:05,359 Behold - The Most Perfect Murder. 41 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,559 Hambleston's answer to The Mousetrap. 42 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,359 A worldwide premiere. 43 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,359 Written by a priest, I see. 44 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,519 Who's a big fan of yours, actually. 45 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,280 You didn't tell me he was coming! 46 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,239 It's you! 47 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,680 HE LAUGHS EXCITEDLY 48 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,999 It's literally you! 49 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,520 Yes, it is. 50 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:32,400 Father, may I present Hambleston's new priest, Father Lindsey. 51 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:38,280 This is the most exquisite moment of my entire life. 52 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,880 Oh! Is he dead? 53 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,479 No, he just fainted. 54 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:47,639 Oh, splendid! 55 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,199 So, Isabel, what say you? 56 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,680 Are you ready to make some magic? 57 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:34,639 {\an8}Might I just apologise again for yesterday? 58 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:37,240 It's just you are something of an inspiration to me. 59 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,159 Just one question. 60 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:44,919 We know who done it, but not as yet how done it. 61 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,479 The play seems to be missing an ending. 62 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,999 Ah, therein lies the rub. 63 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,039 I haven't quite figured it out yet. 64 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,559 Shouldn't you have done that before you started writing it? 65 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,520 Welcome, all. 66 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:04,279 And may I introduce the genius behind our remarkable sets. 67 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,519 Herman Jolly, the Kembleford Players. 68 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:11,760 They're going to ruin all my good work, aren't they? 69 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,279 Oh, nice to meet you too. 70 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:17,799 Teddy! 71 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,319 The cost of hiring the Royal Theatre. 72 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,439 We are amateurs! 73 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,800 A dirty word. Which I am removing from HADS. 74 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,840 Behold, HDS! 75 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,199 Amateurs are the lifeblood of this company, 76 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,399 which was founded to enrich local lives. Mm... 77 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,879 Like poor Sandy. Yeah. 78 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,439 This production is too much. 79 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,159 If you don't like it, you know where the door is. 80 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,759 Perhaps, as founder of HADS, 81 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,719 you could show Emerald some respect. 82 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,799 One of our backstage stalwarts, Bonnie Codling. 83 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,200 Who'd do well to stop her prattling! 84 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,519 And you wonder why we're haemorrhaging members. 85 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,079 May I suggest we proceed with the auditions? 86 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,599 CLAPS HANDS 87 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,279 We open in three weeks. 88 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,519 Good morning. 89 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,399 Thank you for your moral support, Edgar. 90 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,319 Yeah, perhaps you could even audition, sir? 91 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,959 CLEARS THROAT I think not. 92 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,319 Yeah, I don't think I'm going to bother either. 93 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,239 Have you read the part of Tabitha? 94 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,999 She dances the Charleston. 95 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,879 Oh! I do love the Charleston. 96 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,399 Oh, you should definitely audition! 97 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,279 Might I suggest you audition too, Father? 98 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:28,759 Or perhaps a backstage role? 99 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:31,959 The priest was written with you in mind. 100 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,640 No acting required. 101 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,519 Guided by God, 102 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:44,159 I have surmised that someone here must be responsible. 103 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,119 "But how?", I hear you ask, 104 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:50,280 "when everyone was together during that fateful shot?" 105 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,839 It is, quite simply, 106 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,400 the most perfect murder. 107 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,879 Bravo, Father. 108 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,080 He is awfully good, isn't he? 109 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:10,919 And to shall play my wife, Lady Ursula Etherington, 110 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,280 Mrs Divine. 111 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,599 Well-deserved. 112 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,319 And our daughter, the socialite Tabitha, 113 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,920 shall be played by Brenda. 114 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,999 There wasn't much competition. 115 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,119 Oh, don't you dare sell yourself short. 116 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,159 You were wonderful! 117 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,679 Sergeant Goodfellow. Yes? You will be Inspector Crabtree. 118 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:29,999 Ah, marvellous! 119 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,399 At least he finally gets the job. 120 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,199 FATHER BROWN CLEARS HIS THROAT 121 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,159 Yes, you'll be Horace, 122 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,079 victim of the dastardly murder. 123 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,239 Oh, only one small scene. No, no, there is another one. 124 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,879 There's a corpse. 125 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,959 Even you could manage that, Father. 126 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,720 And the part of Father Greene goes to Chief Inspector Sullivan. 127 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,599 Ah... 128 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,599 No, I didn't audition. 129 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,999 It's just that we're in need of one more male, 130 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:02,159 and everyone knows what a marvellous Benedick you were, 131 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,239 so... 132 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,919 No, absolutely not. 133 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:09,000 Edgar, this has to be a success, and there's no-one else. 134 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,359 He'll do it. 135 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,599 Splendid! 136 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:18,159 Now, as well as playing Fanny Tinkle, our frumpy maid... 137 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,759 No acting required. 138 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,719 Emerald will be in charge of costumes, 139 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,239 and Bonnie will be assisting with make-up and also assisting 140 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,639 with set construction. 141 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,319 No, no, no, no. I'll take anyone else. 142 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,999 Do you see what he's like? 143 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,039 Please. Please, everyone. 144 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:39,399 The only way this play is going to be the success it deserves to be 145 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,479 is if we all unite. 146 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,959 Then I need to know how the play ends. 147 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,599 How did the murder happen? 148 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,239 Crumbs. 149 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,399 That's the problem with an impossible murder. 150 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,839 I've written myself into something of a corner. 151 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,519 Perhaps I could assist. 152 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,839 Thank you, Father, but this is my problem alone. 153 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,120 It'll come to me. 154 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,159 In good time, I hope, Father. 155 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,160 The clock, as they say, is ticking. 156 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,800 MUSIC COVERS SPEECH 157 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,959 I've laid my reputation on this, Father. 158 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,359 If it doesn't go well, I'll be deposed. 159 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,800 I'm sure everything will be quite... 160 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,640 Ah, gosh! 161 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,440 It's magnificent! 162 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,199 At least my work will be admired. 163 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:08,240 Could you for once stop being such a braggart? 164 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,799 And I need a word with you later. 165 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,159 Happy birthday, Emerald, from all of us here. 166 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,919 Oh, thank you. 167 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,199 That is so thoughtful of you all. 168 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,319 Thank you. 169 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,519 Priorities, people. 170 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,719 We open in TWO DAYS. 171 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,280 Everything all right? 172 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:30,800 FATHER LINDSEY: I've done it! 173 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,400 I've actually done it! 174 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:40,159 A rush of inspiration from the Lord himself. 175 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:44,119 Who knew this murder lark could be such jolly good fun? 176 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,679 Ingenious! 177 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,439 Well done, Father. 178 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,999 Nobody will see that coming. 179 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,999 How did you come up with this? 180 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,519 Oh, it just sort of popped into my head. 181 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,159 Sometimes I do astound myself. 182 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:03,360 I've never read such far-fetched tripe in all my life! 183 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,839 Oh. Perhaps I should stick to my day job. 184 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,279 I think it's splendid, Father. 185 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:16,200 This really is going to be a seminal production. 186 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,919 It's a simply... Simply... 187 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,519 TEDDY: Beastly. 188 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,159 Beastly business. 189 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,359 One would rather be miserable in the back of a Rolls 190 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,319 than happy on a bicycle. 191 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,999 Well, how did you find out? 192 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:40,919 I overheard him, right here, from the hidey-hole. 193 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:46,320 The what? Honestly, Mummy, you can be so oblivious sometimes. 194 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,159 Oh... 195 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:53,039 Oh, for goodness' sake, where's Herman? 196 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,759 I haven't seen him all day. 197 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,400 Isn't that his jacket? 198 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,960 Will somebody please find Herman? 199 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,800 Argh! 200 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,120 I trust this is some kind of a joke. 201 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,440 I'm afraid not, Mr Sadwick. 202 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:19,680 He's dead. 203 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,360 FATHER LINDSEY CRASHES TO THE FLOOR 204 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,319 Are you sure you're all right? 205 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:39,359 Yes, thank you, Father, I'm just not a huge fan of dead bodies. 206 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,479 Then perhaps it's best you both leave me to it. 207 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,999 Note the blunt trauma wound to the back of the head. 208 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,439 And judging by the rigor mortis, 209 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,319 he's been dead... I'd say for at least six hours. 210 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,880 Yes, I can make my own deductions, thank you. 211 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,639 Er, Father, would you mind not tampering with the scene 212 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:09,879 of the crime, please? 213 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,359 Apologies, Chief Inspector. 214 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,199 Now, if you would both kindly... 215 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,759 I trust you will let us know the outcome of the pathologist's report? 216 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:17,799 Goodfellow. 217 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,119 Come now, Fathers, let us do our job. 218 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,600 Of course, Sergeant. 219 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,840 A thousand apologies. 220 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,519 EMERALD: Perhaps it is for the best. 221 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:41,439 I don't mean because he's dead, God rest his soul. 222 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:45,199 I mean we don't have to go through with this troubled production. 223 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,439 Fiddlesticks! 224 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:52,759 We must honour Herman's work and memory by forging ahead. 225 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,199 It's what he would have wanted. 226 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,599 Aren't you forgetting that Herman was also our stage manager? 227 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,079 Not for a second, Bonnie. 228 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,599 Which is why I'm promoting you to the position. 229 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,959 Thank you. 230 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,319 I'll do my best. 231 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,359 As soon as the police are done, we get back to work. 232 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,240 We open tomorrow. 233 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,959 You didn't remove police evidence, did you? 234 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,879 God forgive me. 235 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:32,559 I thought it rather more important that you saw it. 236 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,199 BREATHES IN DEEPLY 237 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,559 Intriguing. 238 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:41,560 I have invited us all here tonight to unite the family. 239 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,399 But now the family, 240 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,199 and indeed my heart, 241 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,439 have been torn apart 242 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:56,520 like an old copy of the Hambleston Gazette. 243 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,879 Perhaps "ripped" rather than "torn". What do we all think? 244 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,719 I think you should shut your trap and get offstage. 245 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,359 Sorry, everyone. Sorry. 246 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,879 Can we please just get on with it? 247 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:08,920 Bonnie! 248 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,000 Ding dong! 249 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:14,759 BELLS RING 250 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,879 I wonder who that could be? 251 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,879 DOOR SLAMS Oh. 252 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,719 Daddy, the Inspector's here. 253 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,679 Then show him in. 254 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,199 Well... 255 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,119 he's not actually here. 256 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,799 I could stand in. 257 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,719 Good grief, no. 258 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,999 Where is Sergeant Goodfellow? 259 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,119 I'm in the middle of a murder investigation at the moment. 260 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,000 Who was the last person to use this? 261 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,599 I found a spot of blood on it. 262 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,759 Luminol has revealed much more. 263 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,919 Despite an attempt made to wipe the spanner clean, 264 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,639 we were able to locate a fingerprint, 265 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,879 so now I need fingerprints from all of you. 266 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,399 We are in the middle of a dress rehearsal! 267 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,879 Albeit without any dress. 268 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,199 Could this not wait? 269 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,640 It's my spanner. 270 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,679 I didn't hit him. 271 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:06,159 Although you were at each other's throats on a daily basis. 272 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,759 Bonnie Codling, I'm arresting you 273 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,039 on suspicion of the murder of Herman Jolly. 274 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,999 You are not obliged to say anything, 275 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,640 but anything you do say may be given in evidence. 276 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,880 Could things get any worse? 277 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,359 BONNIE: The Chief Inspector thinks I went back to the theatre last night, 278 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,999 killed Herman, then locked up. 279 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,999 I'm not the only one with keys. 280 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,880 Who else? Just Teddy, and Emerald, I think. 281 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:42,279 How long have things been fractious between you and Mr Jolly? 282 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,719 Only three years. 283 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,999 Ever since I moved from Oxford. 284 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,479 I suppose he reminded me of my father. 285 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,159 In what way? 286 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:53,119 He was a sadist and a bully too. 287 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,079 It was almost a blessing when he disowned me. 288 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,960 For any particular reason? 289 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,239 Giving in to sin. 290 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,760 I see. 291 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:09,839 This was found in Mr Jolly's pocket. 292 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,319 Cost of materials? 293 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,840 But it couldn't have cost THIS much. 294 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,999 Well, Teddy would have been furious. 295 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,280 Indeed. 296 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,640 Thank you, Miss Codling. 297 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,840 Very helpful. 298 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,040 What's going to happen with the play? 299 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:34,839 Well, important as that is, you are my main priority 300 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,680 and I will do all I can. 301 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,399 FATHER BROWN KNOCKS ON DOOR 302 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,479 Oh, I've suddenly come all aquiver. 303 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,319 But why, my love? 304 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,639 Tell me... 305 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:53,119 Tell me that Bonnie's release is imminent. 306 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:57,039 Miss Codling is still under arrest, I'm afraid. 307 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:58,879 Perhaps I could step in the stage manager? 308 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,519 Hmm... 309 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,600 I suppose beggars can't be choosers. 310 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,839 Right, let's pick it up, everybody. HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 311 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,559 Can't you feel it? 312 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,039 A chill tearing through the house. 313 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:15,520 Almost as if the ghost of Horace was trying to tell us something. 314 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,280 Cue howling wind. 315 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,520 Howling wind. Hello? 316 00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:25,519 Howling wind! 317 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,959 LOUD BANGS AND CRASHES 318 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,559 Um, I'm a bit tied up at the moment. 319 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,759 I... I give up! 320 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,040 I... 321 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,599 Knock, knock. 322 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,960 Go away. 323 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,920 I'm afraid this won't wait, Mr Sadwick. 324 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:49,040 You knew what Herman Jolly was up to. 325 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,640 I trusted him. 326 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,919 Then he cleaned out the society account. 327 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,880 £2,000. 328 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:03,239 How did this society come by such a large amount of money? 329 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,040 I sold my butcher's shop. 330 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,439 That money was my nest egg 331 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,760 and I put it all in one basket. 332 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,079 You confronted him on the day he died? 333 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,000 Yes, and he grovelled. 334 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,159 Do you honestly believe that I'd do anything 335 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,360 to jeopardise this production? 336 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:28,879 No, I don't, Mr Sadwick. 337 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:33,560 All my life I've dreamed of treading the boards as a pro. 338 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,720 But I never had the guts. 339 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:43,600 I'm not getting any younger and this is my last chance. 340 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:49,799 I've managed to lure an agent down from London 341 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,159 to see the opening night. 342 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:56,399 He's not going to come to just any amateur production. 343 00:18:56,400 --> 00:19:00,439 So you see, Father, if this play fails, 344 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,479 so do all my dreams. 345 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:07,040 Then perhaps, Mr Sadwick, you should proceed with rehearsals. 346 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,119 I understand the costumes have arrived. 347 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,679 Have they? 348 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:18,960 Oh. Well, then, Father, perhaps the day is not lost. 349 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:31,240 Yes. Yes, I think that'll do very nicely. 350 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,479 Well done, Emerald. 351 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,439 What did you find out then, Father? 352 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:39,039 I don't think our director would risk jeopardising his own play. 353 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:43,279 However, I do suspect him of having quite a nasty temper. 354 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,199 MRS DIVINE: Oh, dear. 355 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,839 What about Emerald? 356 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:47,999 Emerald? 357 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,839 I saw the way that Herman looked at her 358 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,959 when she opened that birthday card. 359 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,080 Which upset her greatly. 360 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,720 Ah! Suits you, Edgar. 361 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,480 Er, sir? 362 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:11,880 Er... 363 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,519 Be very careful what you say, Sergeant. 364 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:17,719 Sorry, sir. 365 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:21,519 There is, um, something you might want to hear, sir, 366 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,040 in private. 367 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,599 I know exactly what you're looking for, Father. 368 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,279 Great minds. 369 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,200 I could do with some help. 370 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,000 Oh, dear. What a whiff. 371 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,040 Aha! 372 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,360 Aha! 373 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,359 We do make a good team. 374 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:54,279 "A very happy birthday, love from Sandy." 375 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,959 Oh, who is Sandy? 376 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,519 Indeed. 377 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,599 However... 378 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,320 same handwriting. 379 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,640 Bingo! 380 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:08,920 Ah! 381 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:13,039 Well, what do you think? 382 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,759 I think you both look splendid. 383 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:16,839 Seconded. 384 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,519 Emerald, you have surpassed yourself. 385 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:23,599 Let us just make it the best it can be, shall we? 386 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,640 Thank you. 387 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,999 Mrs Baptiste, may I have a word? 388 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,039 Yes. 389 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,919 I'm afraid that'll have to wait, Father. 390 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,879 We have some good news and some bad news. 391 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,120 Oh, for pity's sake, man, I need some good news. 392 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:44,679 Er, Miss Codling will be released this evening. 393 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,479 Praise the Lord. 394 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:47,759 The day is saved! 395 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,159 And the bad news? 396 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,319 The fingerprint we found on the spanner 397 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,240 was yours, Mrs Baptiste. 398 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,039 There's no doubt. 399 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:00,320 Emerald? 400 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,319 I'm sorry for ruining everything. 401 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,360 But... why? 402 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:09,800 Can we go now? 403 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:16,039 This is... This is a living nightmare. 404 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:21,159 How am I supposed to cope without my Fanny Tinkle? 405 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,440 Teddy, all is not lost. I have an idea. 406 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:27,639 CHURCH BELLS RING 407 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,039 BRENDA: I think you're mad. 408 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,439 We open tonight. 409 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,319 What other choice do we have? 410 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,399 I know all the lines 411 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:38,399 and thankfully, Ursula is only onstage with the maid once. 412 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,119 Right, and how are you going to make that work, then? 413 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:43,799 I'm sure Mrs Divine has an elegant solution. 414 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,439 Thank you, Father. 415 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,279 This play has to be a success 416 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,119 or I'll be the shortest serving president in history. 417 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:55,679 Besides which, I want to do my best for Father Lindsey. 418 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,439 I thought he were t'murderer. 419 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,079 Brenda! What? 420 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,399 He had a key and all. Saw him lock up with it last night. 421 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,719 Don't be so ridiculous. 422 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,920 Although... why on earth would Emerald do such a thing? 423 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,199 BOTH: Father? 424 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,160 That, ladies, is what I intend to find out. 425 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,560 I'll see you both at the theatre later. 426 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,840 Am I going to hang, Father? 427 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,880 I very much hope not. 428 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,440 Father Lindsey, may I? 429 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,280 Did you attack Mr Jolly because of this? 430 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,999 Who's Sandy? 431 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,000 Sandy is dead, Father. 432 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:58,319 He was barely a man when he came to Hambleston. 433 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,560 An orphan who lived in the abandoned barn on Chipping Way. 434 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:06,080 Oh, my skinny little boy! 435 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,119 Who needed me as much as I needed him. 436 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,000 Did you lose someone? 437 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,440 My son... 438 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:21,439 and husband, in the last war, 439 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,719 before I came here on the Windrush. 440 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,039 I'm so sorry. 441 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,760 HADS gave Sandy a purpose. 442 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,079 Bonnie and I used to take turns to cook for him, 443 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:38,879 and I even found him a job delivering for Teddy. 444 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,840 Things were getting better. 445 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,879 May we ask how he died? 446 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,319 Last year, during a HADS meeting. 447 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,679 We all heard a gunshot - Teddy, Bonnie, Herman and I. 448 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,160 We left the pub and we went to check on Sandy in his barn and... 449 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:02,439 there he was on the ground, still warm. 450 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:07,719 Oh, he was gone and the murderer just vanished into the night, 451 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,959 never to be found. 452 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,320 Oh. 453 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,799 Father? 454 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,320 Would you excuse me? 455 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,559 Not feeling too tickety boo. 456 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,280 FATHER LINDSEY KNOCKS ON DOOR 457 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,440 I take it you realised who sent this? 458 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,919 Yes. 459 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,240 Why torment you? 460 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,240 I went to ask him and... 461 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:45,560 he said I should, "leave HADS or I might end up like Sandy." 462 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:52,039 He said he knew who murdered him and he was glad Sandy was dead 463 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,279 and I don't know why! 464 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,439 He just kept laughing and laughing, 465 00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,120 and I saw red. 466 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,119 And before I knew it, I... 467 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,520 THUD 468 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,760 And then you closed the compartment? 469 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:16,160 No. It must have closed itself. 470 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:21,159 Believe me, Father, I was going to tell the police 471 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:22,759 after the play ended. 472 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,319 I'd never let Bonnie take the blame for my crimes. 473 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,479 Well, you see, that's it, Mrs Baptiste. 474 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,440 I'm not entirely sure it WAS your crime. 475 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:49,359 I'm afraid, Father, everything that's happened, it's... 476 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:51,120 all my fault. 477 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,400 Oh, dear. 478 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,399 Where the devil is Father Brown? 479 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,439 He'll be here any second. 480 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,479 Father will not let you down. 481 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:07,279 He'd better not. Everybody, tonight needs to go 482 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,279 perfectly. 483 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,079 I thought Sandy's death sounded familiar. 484 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,079 My research for the play - 485 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,799 subconsciously, I must have integrated it. 486 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:21,679 Inadvertently solving howdunit on your final page. 487 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,120 Consider the hooks on the wall and the trajectory of the bullet. 488 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,439 Mr Jolly's reaction now makes perfect sense. 489 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,879 At least it wasn't the quality of my writing. 490 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,839 Herman Jolly killed Sandy with a pre-set mechanism. 491 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:39,639 The perfect murder indeed. Well done, Father. 492 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,879 I'm not feeling especially proud at the moment. 493 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:45,519 My play may be exceptional, but a man is dead and Mrs Baptiste 494 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,679 is facing the noose. No. 495 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,599 Someone else is responsible. 496 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,999 When Herman Jolly's body was discovered, 497 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,680 the door to the compartment was jammed. 498 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,600 And there was this. 499 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,919 Ah! Stage make-up. 500 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,279 Ah! 501 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:09,519 Greasepaint was used to seal the air vent. 502 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,879 So Herman Jolly asphyxiated after the assault. 503 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,800 But why? 504 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,279 Oh, dear. 505 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,160 Sandy was from Oxford. 506 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,680 BUZZER RINGS Crumbs. The play! 507 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,559 Apologies. Apologies! 508 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,839 Good God, man, are you trying to give me a heart attack? Daddy! 509 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:42,399 Sh! Calm, remember? Yes, yes. 510 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,319 Calm, everyone. 511 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,679 Tallyho! 512 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:50,040 And break a leg. Metaphorically speaking. 513 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,640 AUDIENCE APPLAUDS 514 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,000 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 515 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,919 I would like, if I may, to present to you 516 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,999 the story of a most diabolical family, 517 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,839 and indeed, the most perfect murder. 518 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,039 DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS 519 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:23,559 I know full well why you have invited me here this evening. 520 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,399 Pounds, shillings and pence - 521 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,199 that's all I am to you lot. 522 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:33,359 Dear brother, no! No, Uncle! 523 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,479 You mean the world to us. Horace, I love you! 524 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:38,999 Oh! 525 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:40,159 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 526 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,079 Purely as a brother in law. 527 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:46,279 I'm quite sure your considerable wealth is immaterial to the family. 528 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:52,280 In that case, none of you will ever see a penny of my money ever again. 529 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,039 DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS 530 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,400 Oh! 531 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,560 It's all going so well! 532 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,639 GUNSHOT 533 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,039 GASPS 534 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:14,719 Horace? Are you... Oh! 535 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:15,919 Oh! 536 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,959 SHE SCREAMS My dear, dear brother! 537 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,759 But where is the murderer?! 538 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,079 How could they disappear into thin air? 539 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,679 This all made sense to you, didn't it, when you read 540 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,680 the final page? I'm sorry? How Sandy died. 541 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,320 PRIEST PRAYS 542 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,999 Oh, to think that my uncle will never move another muscle... 543 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,080 AUDIENCE LAUGHS again. 544 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,879 But now... 545 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:52,319 I really wish that you hadn't said anything. 546 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,079 I've been torn apart. 547 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,639 You will have to stage manage now. 548 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,479 Have faith, Father. 549 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,479 Of the old copy of the amnesty. 550 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,319 Me?! 551 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,320 Oh, dear. 552 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,319 Where's Mrs Tinkle, that maid of yours? 553 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,839 I could murder a cup of tea. 554 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:23,559 Um, perhaps, dear wife, 555 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:27,279 you could go and get Fanny. 556 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,360 Oh, yes. I shall do exactly that. 557 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:41,719 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 558 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,799 Tea for the inspector. 559 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,519 Have a biscuit and all. 560 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,000 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 561 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,359 Hello, Bonnie. 562 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:37,639 I have to go now, Father. Of course. 563 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:41,520 But first you had to come and say goodbye to your son. 564 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,519 Well, then, Father, I know you're itching to tell me what's what. 565 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:49,320 Yes. Pray tell. 566 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:56,240 Guided by God, I have surmised that someone here must be responsible. 567 00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,719 WIND BLOWS 568 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,279 But how, I hear you ask... 569 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:03,519 GLASS SMASHES 570 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,439 when everyone was together during that fateful storm? 571 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,719 It is quite simply, the most perfect murder. 572 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,399 AUDIENCE APPLAUDS AND CHEERS 573 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,159 Where's Father Brown? 574 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,479 He made me look more of a fool than I already feel. 575 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,119 Edgar, I have no idea! 576 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:20,879 I'm going to kill him. 577 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:22,319 And Bonnie. 578 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,120 And you! 579 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:30,720 Yesterday, you talked about giving in to sin. 580 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,040 Was Sandy taken from you as a baby? 581 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,919 I assumed three years ago you heard he'd come to Hambleston. 582 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:46,399 So you followed him here from Oxford 583 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:50,879 and joined HADS to get to know your son. 584 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,079 A life of children's homes. 585 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,359 And then he ran away. 586 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,199 What chance did he have, Father? 587 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,279 He had no-one. 588 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:05,159 He had you, and Mrs Baptiste... 589 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:10,000 until Mr Jolly intervened. For what reason, I'm not quite sure. 590 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:16,399 When I saw his reaction to the mechanism on the final page, 591 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,559 I came back here, saw the hooks, 592 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:21,879 and found where the gun was. 593 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,640 I knew he'd killed my boy. 594 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,880 GUNSHOT 595 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,639 When I confronted Herman, he was already in a bad way. 596 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,159 He didn't even deny it. 597 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,519 What's it to you, anyway? 598 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,519 He was my son. 599 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,879 Hah! Ha, ha, ha! He was a little snake, 600 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:52,079 that's what he was. What? Spying on me. 601 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,759 Saw my hand in the till at Teddy's. 602 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,839 He was going to grass. 603 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,159 So you killed him for THAT? 604 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,279 He deserved everything he got. 605 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,560 And guess who I told Teddy the thief was? 606 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:09,879 Uh! It appears I need a doctor. 607 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:11,720 Chop, chop, woman. 608 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,079 What are you doing?! 609 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,079 Let me out! Open this door! 610 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,120 What are you doing?! 611 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,679 I take it that you removed the greasepaint in the morning? 612 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:28,920 Tried to. 613 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:34,039 I just knew my boy wasn't a thief. 614 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,959 Did Sandy know who you were? No. 615 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,759 Because I'm ashamed, Father, 616 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,319 of what I let happen to me. 617 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:47,079 I'd never told anyone he was my son. 618 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:52,959 And because of my cowardice, he never knew he was loved. 619 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,879 I think he did. 620 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,760 Very much loved. 621 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,199 At least now I have justice for my boy. 622 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,440 But what will I do now, Father? 623 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,479 Well, you have to repent of this murder. 624 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,679 Go to the police and confess. 625 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,160 I'm not sorry that man is dead. 626 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:19,359 I can never repent for what I've done. 627 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,999 If you want to be truly at peace, 628 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,519 and to see Sandy again one day, 629 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:29,000 it is exactly what you must do. 630 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:33,960 JAUNTY PIANO PLAYS 631 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,679 My darling girl, why are you wearing that? 632 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,759 Because I've realised, haven't I, 633 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,799 that Uncle Horace was a bachelor? 634 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:52,119 So who is most likely to inherit his spondulicks? 635 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:56,080 Who? Well, he didn't much care for you. 636 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,519 IN COCKNEY ACCENT: Are you quite sure about that? 637 00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:02,799 LAUGHTER 638 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,879 I'll thank you to keep your opinions to yourself, Fanny. 639 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,639 Me, Mummy, I'm going to be rich. 640 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,800 Richer than my wildest dreams. 641 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,000 CHARLESTON MUSIC PLAYS 642 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,999 RECORDS SCRATCHES 643 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,040 TEMPO CHANGES 644 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,199 RECORD SCRATCHES 645 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,359 LAUGHTER 646 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:38,360 Behold, I have recreated the most perfect murder. 647 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,119 This is never going to work. 648 00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,639 Inspector, please, if you will. 649 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:46,320 Here we go, Father. 650 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:49,839 GUNSHOT 651 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,160 ROPE WHISTLES 652 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:58,239 And where did I get the gun from? 653 00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:01,519 Your study, Lord Etherington. 654 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,759 THEY GASP 655 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,719 I was framed. 656 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:08,439 I think not. 657 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:11,439 You are the one who invited everyone here this evening. 658 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,519 You've been on your uppers for some time. 659 00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,279 Your only option was to kill your brother 660 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:18,879 for your inheritance, 661 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,999 providing yourself with the most perfect alibi - 662 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,919 myself. 663 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:30,839 But you did not count on my God-given detection prowess. 664 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:34,319 All right, yes, I admit it. 665 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,039 Just spare my family. 666 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,199 I acted alone. 667 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,839 Must be nice for him to get it right for once. 668 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:48,599 And now you must repent for the sake of your immortal soul. 669 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,199 And that, ladies and gentlemen, 670 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:57,200 concludes this evening's most imperfect murder. 671 00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,839 PIANO PLAYS 672 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:04,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 673 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,280 Oh, my! 674 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:15,800 They love me! 675 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,999 CORK POPS, CHEERING 676 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,919 My whole life is about to change for ever. 677 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,599 There was an agent out there tonight. 678 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:42,039 Oh! We must invite him backstage immediately. 679 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,679 I'm afraid he's just left. 680 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,719 Oh. What did he say? 681 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,559 He said the play was a hoot. 682 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,599 Ah. A new genre of comedy murder mystery. 683 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,039 But it wasn't meant to be a comedy. 684 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,639 What did he say about me? 685 00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:00,240 He said your performance was tragically... 686 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,119 Yes? 687 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:04,160 Comic. 688 00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:08,440 Ah. 689 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,960 Er, could I propose a toast? 690 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,080 To Sandy. 691 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,640 To Sandy. Sandy. Sandy. Sandy. 692 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:30,000 Who, I'd like you all to know, was my son. 693 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:36,080 And I have to go now. 694 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,320 Where? Chief Inspector, can I have a word? 695 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:42,640 Certainly. 696 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,240 Would you? 697 00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:54,400 Look who I found. 698 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:57,640 Well, Emerald... 699 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,679 turns out you were right. 700 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,839 I've really put the ham into Hambleston. 701 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,319 I'm pulling the show. 702 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:13,279 Except we're sold out every night this week. 703 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,999 What? The show is a hit, Teddy. 704 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,879 Word of mouth, apparently. 705 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:23,599 Although how we could recreate that performance, I'll never know. 706 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,439 So they're coming to laugh at me? 707 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,560 Well, you must have been very entertaining. 708 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,040 Maybe that's enough. 709 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,720 Maybe. Hmm. 710 00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:40,599 Will you take it back, HADS? 711 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,640 Only if we can work together this time. 712 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,399 Oh, well, that's just lovely. 713 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,079 Although you and I will be going our separate ways, won't we? 714 00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:58,599 With the greatest of pleasure, Mrs Devine. 715 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,800 And my sincere thanks. 716 00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:13,919 Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. 717 00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:17,039 It has been three days since my last confession. 718 00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,559 Since then, I have been instrumental in one murder 719 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,960 and an unfortunate incarceration. 720 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,879 I feel quite wretched. 721 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,719 You are not responsible. 722 00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:31,519 You shone light onto a distressing mystery, 723 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,040 and it was solved. 724 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:36,560 That is kind of you to say. 725 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,839 But these past few days have made me realise that murder 726 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:42,880 is never to be taken lightly. 727 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:45,800 An important lesson. 728 00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:49,999 They say never meet your heroes, Father, 729 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,279 but in your case, I'm very glad I did. 730 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,960 You're not at all like my uncle said. 731 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,199 Uncle? 732 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,199 Whom I believe you know quite well. 733 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,879 Actually, he used to tread the boards in the Footlights 734 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,640 long before he was canon. 735 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:06,839 Canon Fox? 736 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,199 He asked me to let you know that 737 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:09,960 he'll be checking in on you very soon. 738 00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,879 I look forward to that. 739 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,320 I think I'll stick to my vocation for the moment. 740 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,359 Indeed. 741 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,959 It transpires that I'm not an exceptional playwright after all, 742 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:24,999 though I do seem to have a talent for this sleuthing lark. 743 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:30,280 Perhaps you should devote yourself to your flock... for the time being. 744 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:32,840 Righto, Father. 745 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:37,159 I do hope the next time we meet is much less eventful. 746 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,760 Yes, Father. 747 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,640 Amen to that.