1
00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:05,406
Who wants to make
five bucks?

2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:06,407
How?
How?

3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,741
I need someone

4
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,077
to take the fall.

5
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,045
LOIS:
Oh, my God!
What did you do?

6
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:12,146
I can't tell you.

7
00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:13,547
Yes or no, no questions asked.

8
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,049
LOIS:
Oh, my God!

9
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,216
Make it ten.

10
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,985
Done.

11
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,820
LOIS:
Oh, my God!

12
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,522
You're a good son.
I got him, honey!

13
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,092
I got him!
Don't worry.

14
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:27,695
* Yes, no, maybe

15
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,231
* I don't know

16
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:33,567
* Can you repeat the question?

17
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,769
* You're not the boss
of me now *

18
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:38,239
* You're not
the boss of me now *

19
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:39,673
* You're not the boss
of me now *

20
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,743
* And you're not so big

21
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,246
* You're not the boss
of me now *

22
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:47,248
* You're not
the boss of me now *

23
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,750
* You're not the boss
of me now *

24
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,553
* And you're not so big

25
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:56,890
* Life is unfair.

26
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,965
There you go--
all pink and shiny.

27
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,066
Mmm. Boys?

28
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,406
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

29
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,642
Ooh! Feel ten pounds lighter.

30
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:15,709
You ready?

31
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:16,944
Oh, yeah. Go.

32
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,915
Uh, aah...
(rapidly breathing)

33
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,251
Dad got us
free tickets

34
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:24,985
to the water slide
park from work.

35
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,420
It takes two days
to prep him,

36
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:27,655
but it's worth it.

37
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,723
Ooh, smooth as a seal.

38
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,292
Ready for that water slide.

39
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,761
You know, we haven't been
on an outing in a long time.

40
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:36,264
It's nice when we can do things
together as a family.

41
00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:39,099
Do what together?

42
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,068
(sobbing):
Why can't I go?

43
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,670
Dewey, we discussed this.

44
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,772
You have to stay home
because of your ear infection.

45
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:47,141
I never get to go.

46
00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:48,676
Honey, I know it seems
like a pattern,

47
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:49,677
but it's just this.

48
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,011
And Disneyland.

49
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,746
(whimpering)

50
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,848
Oh, and that
chocolate factory tour.

51
00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:56,184
You know,
maybe it's time you stopped

52
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,285
sticking dirty things
in your ears.

53
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,085
REESE:
Hey, Dewey.

54
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,254
How's the ear?

55
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,356
Stop teasing
him, Reese!

56
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:04,625
You know, if your father
doesn't find a babysitter,

57
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,026
nobody's going anywhere
and we'll just see
who's crying then!

58
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:08,295
Oh, no, no, no.
It's just the little one.

59
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:11,499
Yeah, the other two
aren't going to be
anywhere near you.

60
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,000
Ever since
I can remember,

61
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,636
we've always had trouble
with babysitters.

62
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:16,937
(cooing):
Hello!

63
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,772
Goochy, goochy,
goochy, goo.

64
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:19,773
Goochy, goochy...

65
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,309
(screaming)

66
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,211
WOMAN:
I don't know, sweetie.

67
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,446
What do you have
behind your back?

68
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,815
(screaming)

69
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,386
MAN:
You little losers!

70
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:33,687
I've had enough of this.

71
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,456
You open this door
right now.

72
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,558
Okay, look. I'm a little
claustrophobic, okay?

73
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,059
Just open the door!
Just let me out!

74
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,028
Come on!

75
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,496
I don't know.

76
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,164
I'm starting to think
it might be us.

77
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,502
Well, you'd think I'd get bored

78
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,671
wiping the floor with my cadets.

79
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,573
God knows
we enjoy it, sir.

80
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:55,543
Do you know what
your problem is, cadet?

81
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,246
Discipline.

82
00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,814
Anything worth doing
is worth doing well.

83
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,751
Whatever I do,
whether it's teaching you boys

84
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:08,522
or mastering tai chi,
or playing pool...

85
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,525
I focus.

86
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,193
I push myself.

87
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,396
But you don't commit
to anything, son.

88
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,365
You're never going
to be a winner

89
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:21,602
because you do everything
half-assed.

90
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,373
Oh, regrettable.

91
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:28,175
You may have spoken too soon,
sir.

92
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:32,079
I think you'll find I play pool
with my whole ass.

93
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,214
Eight ball, corner pocket.

94
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:37,551
Damn.

95
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,387
Ah, the fatal scratch.

96
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:42,423
Once again,
I waltz with Lady Victory.

97
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,692
And until you focus,
Francis,

98
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:48,962
she is never going to be
your dance partner.

99
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,064
LOIS:
Thank you so much for coming
on such short notice.

100
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,633
And it was so nice
of your agency

101
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,468
to give us a second chance.

102
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,271
You two are going to have
so much fun together.

103
00:03:57,305 --> 00:04:00,140
(quietly):
Don't you dare hurt her.

104
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:03,076
Hurry,
the sun's coming up!

105
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:10,951
Do you want to play something?

106
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,987
No.

107
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,558
Hey, hey, look, kids.

108
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:21,161
Only 12 more miles
to Wavetown, USA.
Yay.

109
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,564
So, Malcolm, you
going to go down the
Liquidator this time?

110
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,998
Don't pressure
the boy, Hal.

111
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:26,967
I'm not pressuring him.
I'm just asking.

112
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,669
He's scared enough
as it is

113
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,505
without you making
a big deal out of it.

114
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,477
Hey, Mom, doesn't
Malcolm have to wear

115
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,646
his nose plug
for his sinuses?
Shut up.

116
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,248
Oh, that's right.
I forgot it.

117
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,417
Listen, honey, you just be
very careful then, okay?

118
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,519
Don't worry,
here it is.

119
00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:47,488
Oh. Thank you,
Reese.

120
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,426
Oh, my gosh,
look at this!

121
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:53,594
REESE:
This is awesome!

122
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,128
I can't wait
to get on the rides.

123
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,101
Malcolm, don't think
you can take off

124
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,770
that nose plug
just because I'm not looking.

125
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,805
You're going
to wear it all day.

126
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,340
But I'm not even in the water.

127
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:07,941
Hey. If I catch you,
for even one second,

128
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,042
not wearing that nose plug,

129
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:10,711
you're going to spend the day

130
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,546
in the kiddie
sprinkler.

131
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,181
So what do you want
to do first?

132
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,850
What makes you think I want
to do anything with you?

133
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:18,185
What's your problem?

134
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,153
That nose plug thing
was bogus.

135
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,855
You crossed the line, Reese.

136
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:22,890
What?!

137
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:23,991
You sold me out to Mom.

138
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,325
It would've been different

139
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,994
if I had done
something to you, but...

140
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,195
that was
totally cold-blooded.

141
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:29,697
Don't be
such a baby.

142
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,865
What you did to me
was an act of war.

143
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,701
And believe me,
I will get you back.

144
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,236
You won't know where or when,
but you're gonna pay.

145
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,038
You sound funny.

146
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:42,710
You...

147
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,311
you wanted to see me, sir?

148
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,680
I just got a call
from the sheriff

149
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,383
that a cocksure,
smart-mouthed youth

150
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,585
looking very much like yourself

151
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:54,388
has been hustling pool
at the local bars.

152
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:55,589
Really, sir?

153
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,891
You are in serious trouble,
cadet.

154
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:58,892
I can explain...

155
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,428
Why have you been holding back

156
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,762
when we've played pool?

157
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,397
What?

158
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:06,066
I want to know why
you've been letting me win.

159
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,701
Sir, if I
played for real

160
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,603
I'd just end up
humiliating you

161
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:12,740
in front of the
whole school, and...

162
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:15,242
and you'd, you know,
torture us all for it.

163
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,711
Really, nothing good
could come from it, and

164
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:20,448
and, besides,
winning seems to
make you so happy.

165
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,049
I am not a child.

166
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,551
Do you really think me

167
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,953
so petty that I would throw
a tantrum

168
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,722
over something so small
as a game of pool?!

169
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,591
My mistake, sir.

170
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,059
We are going to play again.

171
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,727
And you are going to give me

172
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,963
your best game, cadet.

173
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:39,433
And to make sure of that,
if you don't win...

174
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:44,271
picture yourself, 0400, awakened
from sweet dreams of Mommy,

175
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,139
sent outside
into the bitter cold

176
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,475
to raise our school colors

177
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,543
and stand at attention
for three hours

178
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,778
until reveille is called.

179
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,280
Now, picture that

180
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:56,316
for 230 consecutive days.

181
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,986
But what if I try my best
and I still lose?

182
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,489
Then you shall be miserable
indeed.

183
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,856
Dismissed.

184
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:06,927
Remember, honey,
how I promised you

185
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,729
that exotic
island vacation,

186
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,898
but we had to go have
children instead?

187
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,232
Mm-hmm.

188
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,634
Well, I was thinking

189
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,336
maybe today could be
our little island getaway.

190
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:19,507
We've got the sun,
the sand, the palm trees.

191
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:22,843
And I brought
the cocktails.

192
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,845
It's Malibu rum
in a lotion bottle

193
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,079
so no one will know
the difference.

194
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,781
(chuckling)

195
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:32,119
You are so cute when
you sneak in alcohol.

196
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,925
Hey, Reese,
I think I just saw
that girl you liked.

197
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,594
You know, the one
with the really long
blonde hair.

198
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,329
April?
April, that's her.

199
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:43,931
Why'd you say you
liked her again?

200
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,165
She's real trampy.

201
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,100
I hear she kisses
with tongue.

202
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,036
Is that true, April?

203
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,407
Jerk!

204
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,310
Now we're even.

205
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,212
You geek, you deserved it!

206
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,381
Ow!

207
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:02,983
Get out of here!

208
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,484
I think
those are ours.

209
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,854
All right.
No. I'll take
care of it.

210
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,889
Ow!

211
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:12,860
LOIS:
Malcolm, Reese, knock it off!

212
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,638
Can I watch TV?

213
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,406
No.

214
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,149
Can I play video games?

215
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,450
No.

216
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,690
What can I do?

217
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:43,890
Something quiet.

218
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,431
(wheels clicking softly)

219
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,200
Quieter.

220
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,473
(man screaming)

221
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:07,547
(screaming continues)

222
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,750
(crowd screaming)

223
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,260
(woman screams)

224
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:24,331
(man and woman scream)

225
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,001
I can do this.

226
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,072
(woman screaming)

227
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,746
Keep your arms and legs
crossed at all times.

228
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,413
Do not bend your legs.

229
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:41,782
Do not raise your head.

230
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,116
Remove all piercings.

231
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,385
You may have nothing
around your neck.

232
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,654
Enjoy the ride.

233
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,757
Okay, here it goes.

234
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,324
On three.

235
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,626
One...

236
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:54,962
two...

237
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:59,599
three...!

238
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,175
(giggling)

239
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,450
REESE:
Hey, there, girlie.

240
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,820
Let me adjust your bra strap.

241
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,489
(smacking loudly)
Now we're even.

242
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,534
Oh, no, no,
no, no.

243
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,870
First, we sort
by the number of holes,

244
00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:38,405
then by color.

245
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,441
What's in your mouth?

246
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,810
Nothing.

247
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,378
There are at least
20 things I will
not tolerate,

248
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,780
and lying is one of them.

249
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:47,881
Spit it out.

250
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,687
You're eating my buttons.

251
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,355
I wasn't eating.
I was saving.

252
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,690
What are you?
A hamster?

253
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:58,892
What were you
saving it for?

254
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,060
I don't know.

255
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,929
It's pretty.
It's my favorite one.

256
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:08,268
You know... actually,
it's my favorite, too.

257
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,739
What do you think
of this one?

258
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,941
It's ugly. I hate it.

259
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,010
So do I.

260
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:20,748
My, you're a, you're
a smart little boy.

261
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,962
(clears throat)

262
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,265
You seem to be practicing
pretty hard.

263
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,767
I hope you're
not planning

264
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,902
on doing something stupid,
like winning.

265
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,937
Look, guys, I know
you want me to lose,

266
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,173
but Spangler insisted
I play a real game.

267
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,607
Francis, you can't win.

268
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,910
If you do, Spangler's
going to take it out on us.

269
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:52,079
Remember when Hendrix
beat him playing horse

270
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,947
on a lucky shot?

271
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:55,783
We couldn't watch anything
but PBS for a week.

272
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:57,918
And that was during
pledge drive, man.

273
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,386
Guys, come on.
Do you have any idea

274
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:00,888
what Spangler's going
to do to me if I lose?

275
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,455
(chuckles)

276
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:05,325
Do you know what we're going
to do to you if you win?

277
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,884
Where were we?

278
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,553
Mom! You have
to stop Reese!

279
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,288
He's being
a total jerk!

280
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:38,058
Malcolm, does it look like
I'm open for business?

281
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,460
You have done nothing
but pester us.

282
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,494
Is it too much to ask

283
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:43,463
that your father and I
enjoy one day?

284
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,298
But Reese is the one...
I don't want to hear it.

285
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,000
You either take care
of this yourself

286
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,836
or I'm gonna lock
the two of you in the car

287
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,004
for the rest of the day.
I mean it.

288
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:56,109
(Reese laughing)

289
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,583
Lifeguard, help!

290
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,418
My brother--
he can't swim.

291
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,988
(whistle blowing)

292
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:10,757
Out of the way, guys!

293
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:11,791
Drowning boy!

294
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:12,926
Out of the way!

295
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:13,961
Drowning boy!

296
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,963
Drowning boy!
Drowning boy!

297
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,064
Drowning boy!

298
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,599
Give him some air, guys.

299
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,168
Give him some air.
Back up.

300
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,439
Sir!

301
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,409
Let the people
who work here
do that.

302
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:36,383
Now we're even.

303
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,055
And then I was playing
with my imaginary friend,

304
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,823
and Reese hit me
because he said

305
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,959
I shouldn't talk to myself.

306
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:49,029
Well, Reese is a
horrid little boy.

307
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,731
I mean, there's nothing
wrong with having

308
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,566
an imaginary friend.

309
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,235
I talk to my Harold
all the time.

310
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,536
You do?
Of course.

311
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:57,905
He's here right now.

312
00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:59,239
Would he like a cookie?

313
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,440
Sure.

314
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,243
No, no, no.

315
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,112
He's over there.

316
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,620
Yes!
Yes!

317
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:15,923
Sorry, sir.

318
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:18,725
It's understandable, cadet.

319
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,528
I've seen professionals
do much worse.

320
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:25,632
I guess the pool gods
are smiling on me today.

321
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,202
(all sighing)

322
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:31,238
But then, the pool gods
can be fickle.

323
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,239
That's okay, sir.

324
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,706
You'll win the next one.

325
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,208
Sir, what are
you doing?

326
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,376
I think I'm losing.

327
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,411
And gracefully, I'd
like to be noted.

328
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,013
But you could have
made that shot.

329
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,548
I could say
the same thing to you.

330
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:42,950
There were at least
a dozen shots

331
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,051
that you've held back on.

332
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,186
But since you seem
to be motivated more

333
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,354
by losing,

334
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,956
I'm going to beat you
at your own game.

335
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:49,957
Huh?

336
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,291
I'm going down, cadet.

337
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,725
I'm going down hard.

338
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,195
But, sir, these guys are going
to kick my ass if I win.

339
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,696
Well, that's just gravy.

340
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,765
May the best man lose.

341
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,973
Fudge! It seems
I've scratched again.

342
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:08,908
Well, you seem to be
on a roll, cadet.

343
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,911
("Mixed Bizness" by Beck
playing)

344
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,383
* Ah-ooh

345
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,552
* I'm mixin' business
with leather *

346
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:23,957
* Christmas with Heather

347
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,393
* Freaks flock together

348
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,963
* Makin' all the B-boys scream

349
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:32,299
* All right

350
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,500
* All right *

351
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,336
* Turn it up now

352
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,471
* Turn it up now *

353
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,907
* All right
* All right *

354
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,842
* Turn it up now

355
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:45,278
* Ah-ah-ah *

356
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:48,348
* Word up to the man thing

357
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:51,118
* She's always cold lamping

358
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:54,254
* Visine at the canteen

359
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,224
* I just want
to watch you dance. *

360
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,929
("Fernando" by ABBA playing)

361
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,999
* Can you hear the drums,
Fernando? *

362
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:14,541
* I remember long ago
another starry night like this *

363
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:19,379
* In the firelight, Fernando

364
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,848
* You were humming to yourself

365
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,783
* And softly strumming
your guitar *

366
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,985
* I could hear
the distant drums *

367
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:33,126
* And sounds of bugle calls
were coming from afar *

368
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,829
* There was something in the air
that night *

369
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:41,334
* The stars were bright,
Fernando *

370
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:45,305
* They were shining there
for you and me *

371
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:49,576
* For liberty, Fernando

372
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:53,380
* Though we never thought
that we could lose *

373
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:56,916
* There's no regret

374
00:16:56,949 --> 00:17:00,587
* If I had to do
the same again *

375
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:05,724
* I would, my friend, Fernando

376
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,328
* There was something in the air
that night *

377
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,663
* The stars were bright...

378
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:11,698
(record scratching)

379
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:16,103
(siren wailing)

380
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,756
(children laughing)

381
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,797
Before you say
anything, Malcolm,

382
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,065
I just want to tell you,

383
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,767
I don't want to hear it.

384
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,402
Can't you give your mother
and me five minutes of peace?

385
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,604
You know what? You can
have the rest of the day

386
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,373
because I've given up.

387
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:57,277
I'm not going to have
any fun anyway, so why try?

388
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,146
As long as we're
on the same page.

389
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:01,881
Today sucked.

390
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,950
I've done nothing
except chicken out,

391
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:06,085
get laughed at
and fight with Reese.

392
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,255
So now I'm just
going to lie down,

393
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:13,025
enjoy the sun and wait for them
to take me home.

394
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,668
(groans)

395
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:25,505
Now we're even.

396
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,441
(growls)

397
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,049
(laughing)

398
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,453
Now we're...

399
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:42,989
(screams)

400
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:45,792
(growling)

401
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,467
Boys!

402
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,274
Reese,

403
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,042
I've done some soul-searching
in the last few minutes

404
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:05,178
and hereby offer my complete
and full apology.

405
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:06,979
It was very wrong of me.

406
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:09,782
I'm truly sorry for my childish
and inappropriate behavior

407
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,118
and I'd like to think that
the terrible guilt I'm feeling

408
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,152
is punishment enough for...

409
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,458
Hey, there's no
cutting in line.

410
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,626
Oh, it's you again.

411
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,960
Reese, I am
so sorry.

412
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,495
I really, really mean it.

413
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:27,467
Do you think we're wealthy?!

414
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,568
What?!

415
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,238
Do you think we're wealthy?

416
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,472
Wealthy people

417
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,540
drive fancy cars.

418
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:34,807
They buy fresh pasta.

419
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,576
Do we do any of those things?

420
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:38,978
No! Wealthy people

421
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,847
can afford
to have their vacations ruined.

422
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,149
No big deal. They just pick up
and they go again.

423
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,651
Your father and I

424
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:45,718
work so hard.

425
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,487
We work so long.

426
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,256
What is wrong with you two?!

427
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:52,024
Are you aborigines?!

428
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,860
Every time I turn around,
I hear someone

429
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,695
screaming and fighting,
and I pray to God

430
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,330
it's someone else's kids,
but it's not.

431
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:58,331
It's always you!

432
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,567
Sane children
would appreciate this,

433
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,570
but you have to keep nattering
at each other like a couple

434
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:04,704
of rabid monkeys!

435
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:07,006
It is not enough
that you do this every day.

436
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,375
You have to make me suffer, too.

437
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:09,942
So help me!

438
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:15,248
Don't you dare!

439
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,789
(Lois screaming)

440
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,825
Arms and legs crossed
at all times!

441
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,929
That is the bravest thing
I've ever seen you do.

442
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,264
Yeah.

443
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,801
You're going to die.

444
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,269
I know.

445
00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:38,405
So, do you think
she's okay?

446
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:39,972
(Lois growling)

447
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,442
(Lois shouting, kids screaming)

448
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:51,518
(screaming and shouting
continues)

449
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,324
LOIS:
This is the last time
I take you boys anywhere!

450
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:17,510
Good playing, cadet.

451
00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:19,045
Same to you, sir.

452
00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:21,814
Hey, who won?

453
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:24,283
Who cares, man?

454
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:33,726
(people speaking
foreign language)

455
00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:38,898
(car horn honks)