1 00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:07,007 I picked this trick up in camp last year. 2 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,177 This is gonna be great. 3 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,880 Wait for it. 4 00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:15,516 Wait for it... 5 00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,086 Oh, screw it. 6 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,562 Oh, man. 7 00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,030 What's wrong, Reese? 8 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:31,232 Nothing! Just-just shut up 9 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,567 and go to sleep, okay? 10 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,569 It's good to be alive. 11 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,672 * Yes, no, maybe 12 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,342 * I don't know 13 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,745 * Can you repeat the question? 14 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,181 * You're not the boss of me now * 15 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:49,683 * You're not the boss of me now * 16 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,086 * You're not the boss of me now * 17 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,255 * And you're not so big 18 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,857 * You're not the boss of me now * 19 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,926 * You're not the boss of me now * 20 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,562 * You're not the boss of me now * 21 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,931 * And you're not so big 22 00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:08,702 * Life is unfair. 23 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,071 (alarm beeping) 24 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,276 Hey, Dewey, wake up! 25 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,611 It's Monday morning. Hooray! 26 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,447 I never thought I'd be happy about a Monday, 27 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,882 but today's the end of two months of being grounded. 28 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,218 Two months! 29 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,220 What are you doing? 30 00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:28,722 Shut up! I have to finish my history homework. 31 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,225 Reese, we couldn't do anything all weekend. 32 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,293 No friends, 33 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,062 no TV; we did absolutely nothing. 34 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,465 And you still managed not to do your homework? 35 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:38,899 Hey, the point is, we never should've 36 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,734 been grounded in the first place. 37 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,969 He is right. 38 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,138 Mom went way overboard. 39 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,307 We didn't even do anything that bad. 40 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,577 Okay, so if we give you Dewey's bike, 41 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,612 Circus will eat a wet dog food sandwich. 42 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,481 Right. 43 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:54,948 Sounds good. Okay then. 44 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,584 Wait a minute. 45 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,452 I don't want you ripping off my little brothers. 46 00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:02,656 You only get the bike if he eats the whole can. 47 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,759 Done. 48 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,295 You the man, Circus. 49 00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,630 You the man. 50 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,605 This is worth it. 51 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,007 What you gonna tell Mom? 52 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,477 (sniffling) 53 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,515 The guy pushed him off... 54 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,149 took the bike... 55 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:34,355 and then just ran off. 56 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,658 How'd she know we were lying? 57 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,693 We were brilliant. 58 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:42,496 (muffled groaning) 59 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:45,666 How's Mom? 60 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,167 Oh, she's got a temperature of 104. 61 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,303 I've never seen her this sick. 62 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,972 It's like some sort of horrible science experiment in there. 63 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,642 Mom's been sick with the flu all weekend. 64 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,511 I'd feel more sympathetic, but two months with no TV 65 00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,680 has killed the part of me that cares. 66 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,316 I finally figured out 67 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,484 how Mom could tell we were lying. 68 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,552 How? 69 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,819 Pheromones. 70 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,154 She can smell the fear on us. 71 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,322 Next time you lie, 72 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,690 you have to take a shower first. 73 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,058 HAL: Okay, boys, 74 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,493 look, I got to go to work, but before I do, 75 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,994 I want to talk to you for a minute. 76 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,529 Now, when I get home, 77 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,998 I get to plug this cord back into the TV. 78 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,034 So you boys have to behave. 79 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,838 You're not the only ones who've suffered with no TV. 80 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,007 For all I know, there's a new wrestling champion. 81 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,678 So... I want you to get to school on time. 82 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,179 And before you leave, you go in there, 83 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,181 and tell your mother to feel better. 84 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,683 Maybe we should just let her sleep. 85 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,351 She slept straight through the last 48 hours. 86 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:40,254 I think it's okay to wake her up for five minutes. 87 00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:58,105 Mom? 88 00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,307 (groaning) 89 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,043 You're starting to look better. 90 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,778 He's not lying. 91 00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:07,080 Mom kills most germs on contact, 92 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:09,383 but when one does get through, it's a doozy. 93 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,719 You kids remember 94 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,754 you're not stepping foot out of this house today. 95 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,255 Huh? No TV. 96 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:18,225 No friends... till tomorrow. 97 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:20,060 But, Mom... This is the last Sunday 98 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,562 of your punishment. 99 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,431 But... (coughing) 100 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,799 Okay, Mom, we got it. We're still grounded. 101 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,469 What are you doing? 102 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:29,770 Mom slept all weekend. 103 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,572 She still thinks it's Sunday. 104 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,840 You know what this means? 105 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,443 No. 106 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:36,910 We can pretend today's Sunday 107 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,111 and stay home from school. 108 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,647 Oh, I'm in. 109 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,281 Okay, Mom. 110 00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,317 We're just going to go continue our punishment. 111 00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,618 And we're definitely not going to school. 112 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,854 (quietly): Shut up. 113 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,797 * 114 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:14,448 MAN: Beautiful, huh? 115 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,983 Huh?! Just came in this week. 116 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,317 Just looking. I'm just... 117 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,286 Please, take your time, take your time. 118 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,488 Enjoy yourself. 119 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,289 Wow. (chuckles) 120 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,958 I love this car. Yeah. 121 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:28,128 Oh, I see you've added four ponies from last year. 122 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,997 We also put in the new skid control system. 123 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,699 Oh? Hey, you know, 124 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,033 the new brochures just came in. 125 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,334 I could show you one if you want. 126 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,837 No, I-I-I should get to work. 127 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,139 Sir, can I ask, 128 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:42,476 is your job really so important 129 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:46,146 that you can't allow yourself five minutes of pleasure? 130 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:50,017 I have no response to that. 131 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,853 Yes! All right! 132 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,655 All right, this'll be great! 133 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,156 Yes! 134 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:59,026 No, wait, we can't. Someone will see us. 135 00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,327 We're supposed to be in school. 136 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,062 Okay. 137 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,897 We'll just stay inside and watch T... 138 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,166 Oh, dang! 139 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,436 Just give me some time to think. 140 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,519 Come on, already, think of something! 141 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,087 I'm trying. 142 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,556 All I've got are all the reasons 143 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,724 this was a stupid idea in the first place. 144 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,359 Even if we manage to keep Mom fooled, 145 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,361 we're screwed as soon as Dad gets home. 146 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,697 It basically means we're gonna sit here 147 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,231 bored out of our minds for eight hours 148 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,034 and wait for Mom to top our last punishment. 149 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,369 How could you be so stupid? 150 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,371 I could've done that myself. 151 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,773 (phone ringing) 152 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,908 Get it before Mom wakes up! 153 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,879 (deep voice): Hello. FRANCIS: Look, Mom. 154 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,914 It's all a pack of lies! I had nothing to do with it! 155 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,616 Seriously, I was nowhere near that place... Francis? 156 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:56,717 It's Francis? Let me talk. Oh! Oh! 157 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,718 Come on, let me talk! Please? 158 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:58,752 What are you guys doing home? 159 00:06:58,786 --> 00:06:59,753 MALCOLM: Mom's sick. 160 00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:00,954 She thinks it's Sunday. 161 00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,456 We kind of went with it. 162 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,957 Cool. 163 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,793 Oh, dude, I need you to do me a giant favor. 164 00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,294 Go check the mail. 165 00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,463 Okay, there should be a letter there 166 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,465 from Southern Alabama State. 167 00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:13,567 Yeah, it's here. 168 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,402 Why, did you apply there? No. 169 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,237 There's probably no point in me ever trying to. 170 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,907 I kind of drove a backhoe into their swimming pool. 171 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,076 Oh, man. Did they have to drain the pool? 172 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,311 No, if you put a ten-foot crack in them, 173 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,913 they pretty much drain themselves. 174 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,247 They did have to drain the gym, though. 175 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,249 Ooh. But I have a plan. 176 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,618 I want you to take the letter 177 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:31,985 and hide it. 178 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,320 Okay, and then what? 179 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,655 And then hopefully... 180 00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,323 I'll come up with a good idea later. 181 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,091 That's all I got so far. 182 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,260 Yeah, we're kind of in the same boat. 183 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,829 We're stuck in the house with nothing to do. 184 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,164 You guys should go down to the arcade on Hillcrest. 185 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,433 The manager there has a pretty enlightened outlook 186 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,968 about a kid's right to choose his own school hours. 187 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,603 We don't have any money, though. 188 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,104 All right, you guys are doing me a favor, 189 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,106 so I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 190 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,441 Mom keeps some money 191 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,610 in the top left drawer of her dresser, 192 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,011 but she won't notice 193 00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,480 if you only take between five and seven dollars. 194 00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,323 What are you boys doing? 195 00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,292 Looking for our money. 196 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,360 It's not there. 197 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,529 I moved it to the back of the closet. 198 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:18,165 Where she hides her Christmas presents? 199 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,466 No... 200 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,002 I moved those to the attic. 201 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:29,209 Um, Mom, where'd you hide that football 202 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,878 I broke the window with? 203 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,212 In the garage. 204 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,347 And when you made chipped beef on toast last week, 205 00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:36,717 was that really beef? 206 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:37,818 Who knows? 207 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,187 It was 39 cents a pound. 208 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:45,325 Did Grandpa really punch Jimmy Carter in the face? 209 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,829 No, he just threw a rock at the motorcade and ran off. 210 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,164 Did you really give my red blanket to the poor kids? 211 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:54,935 No, your father used it to clean the barbecue. 212 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,504 I was really adopted, wasn't I? 213 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:02,175 Oh, you're ours... and we love you. 214 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,410 Damn. 215 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,514 So, um... 216 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,717 I don't know. 217 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:10,851 What's your favorite color? 218 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,387 For the third time, green. 219 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,856 Let's just go. 220 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,891 Wait. 221 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,860 I got a good one. 222 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,030 How'd you know Dewey's bike wasn't really stolen? 223 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,397 That is a good one. 224 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,279 I can't believe it! Francis ratted on us to Mom! 225 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,448 No! 226 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:44,051 He wouldn't do that. You did it! 227 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,619 Shut up! He sold us out! 228 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,454 Francis is dead to us now! 229 00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,623 Wait a minute-- 230 00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,625 that makes me the oldest brother. 231 00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:52,893 Guys, seriously-- 232 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,595 if you have any problems, you can come to me. 233 00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,797 Dewey, get me some ice tea. 234 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,765 No! 235 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,268 We should just give this to Mom and let him fry. 236 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,102 Right. 237 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,136 No, wait! 238 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,604 It's Francis. 239 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,974 We can't just take Mom's word for it. 240 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,109 Hey, Malcolm, everything okay? 241 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,811 Um, Francis... 242 00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,913 we were just wondering... 243 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,748 Mom said... 244 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:17,417 you ratted on us about Dewey's bike. 245 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,587 But she's probably just mixed up, right? 246 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,090 Because you're our big brother and you wouldn't do 247 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,658 something like that-- Francis? 248 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:25,959 You don't know 249 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,761 what kind of pressure I was under! 250 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:28,762 You butt-wipe! 251 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:29,930 How could you? 252 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,164 Well, did he do it? 253 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,432 I can't believe you! 254 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,600 You're our big brother! 255 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,769 You're supposed to protect us, not betray us. 256 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,270 He did it, didn't he? 257 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,272 Malcolm, just let me explain... And then you actually 258 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,109 have the nerve to ask us to risk our butts for you? 259 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,444 Maybe we should just give the letter to Mom. 260 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,847 No, you can't do that! Yeah, why not? 261 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,982 Because if you give the letter to Mom, 262 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,650 she'll know it's not Sunday. 263 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,653 I'll just tell her it came special delivery. 264 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,622 Yeah, well, she won't believe it 265 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,791 'cause she would have to sign for it. 266 00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,459 I could forge her signature. 267 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,628 But then she'll know you can forge her signature. 268 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,796 Which won't matter at all 269 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,331 because she'll be so mad at you, 270 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,633 she won't even think about me for a few days. 271 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,301 And even if she does, I'll just tell her 272 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,469 I didn't want to disturb her. 273 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,004 So in addition to you getting nailed, 274 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,672 I'll get points for being sympathetic. 275 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:15,976 Put Reese on the phone. 276 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,145 You know, Hal, owning a Porsche 277 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,647 is not just for the wealthy anymore. 278 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,649 My lifemate and I, we both drive 'em. 279 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,817 Really? 280 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,518 Oh, she's a very lucky lady. 281 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,023 Oh. A blond. 282 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,894 This is going to sound clichéd, Hal, 283 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,829 but what can I do to put you in that car today? 284 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,831 You can give me $90,000. 285 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,733 (both laughing) 286 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,068 That's funny. 287 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,736 Yeah. Seriously, we have 288 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,538 all kinds of financial plans available. 289 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:46,706 (sighs) 290 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,175 Why don't we take it for a test drive? 291 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,177 Nah, I... I don't know. 292 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,379 I would have to call work and... 293 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,214 There's a phone... 294 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:56,249 in the car. 295 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,387 So, do we give Mom the letter now 296 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,756 or wait till Dad gets home and give him both barrels? 297 00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:03,924 Now! 298 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,558 Do it now! 299 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,860 We're not giving Mom the letter. 300 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:07,895 Of course we are! 301 00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:08,929 We have to! 302 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:09,897 He's a traitor! 303 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,098 He has to pay! 304 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,399 He must suffer! 305 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,434 We can't give Mom the letter. She'd kill him. 306 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,204 But we can make him think we're giving her the letter. 307 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,271 We could make him think 308 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,940 we're scuzzy, dirty backstabbers 309 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,374 just like he is. 310 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,542 Oh, okay. 311 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,745 (phone rings) 312 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,547 Hello. Hey, it's me. 313 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,049 Well, if it isn't the snitch. 314 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,717 Hi, snitch. 315 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,219 Come on, Malcolm. 316 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,788 Let's just end this before it gets out of control. 317 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,223 I know how you guys feel. 318 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,058 You do, huh? How do we feel? 319 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,560 Well... bad. 320 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,561 No. 321 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,896 The words that come to my mind 322 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:46,900 are revenge, payback, envelope. 323 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,936 Malcolm, you're not going to give Mom the letter. 324 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,304 I don't think you're in any position to call the shots. 325 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,740 No, but... Richie should be right about now. 326 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,275 Richie? Yeah? 327 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,248 That was the best 12 minutes of my life. 328 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,083 Well, I'm glad to hear that, Hal. 329 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,252 You know, there are a couple of people 330 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,486 I'd like you to meet. 331 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,426 FRANCIS: Okay, listen up: 332 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,763 my mom's in her bedroom, so you gotta keep it down, 333 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,999 and remember, don't hurt my brothers. 334 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,100 (glass breaking) 335 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,668 Circus! 336 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,136 It's okay. It was ugly. 337 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:24,437 Man, just get the letter 338 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,606 and don't let Malcolm out of your sight. 339 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,275 He's too smart. 340 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,342 Uh-oh. 341 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:31,011 What do you mean, "uh-oh"? What did he do? 342 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,145 He's out of breath. 343 00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,281 Damn it! He hid the letter. 344 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,482 Okay, kid, you've got 345 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:36,783 three seconds to tell me 346 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,351 or I'm going to pound you within an... 347 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:39,619 Richie! 348 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,154 Which part of "no hurting my brothers" 349 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,189 didn't you understand? 350 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,456 I got to tell you, man, 351 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,791 you're not allowing me 352 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,526 a single creative thought here. 353 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,862 (whispering): Where'd you put it? 354 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,197 In the VCR. I know. 355 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,631 If we set fire to the house, 356 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,666 Malcolm will go right for the letter. 357 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,368 Why would he go right for the letter? 358 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:58,305 Well, maybe we should just set fire to the house and find out. 359 00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,973 Put Justin on the phone. 360 00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:01,674 You the man, Francis. 361 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:02,809 You the man! 362 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,377 Put Richie back on the phone. 363 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,213 Hey, you can tear up the house if you want 364 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,215 with my mom here and explain it to her 365 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,983 or you can quit and slink away 366 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,719 like the monosyllabic mouth-breathers you are. 367 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:13,887 What'd he say? 368 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:15,322 He said a lot of things, 369 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,391 but the gist of it is, we got to tear up the house. 370 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,493 No, you can't do that. Just... 371 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,162 wait a minute, I have an idea. 372 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,363 Look at Reese. 373 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,564 What's he doing? 374 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,199 He's just sitting there. 375 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,168 No, look at his eyes. What are his eyes doing? 376 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,502 They're looking back at me. 377 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,204 Okay, just keep looking at him. 378 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,025 He's looking at the VCR. 379 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,527 No, I-I was looking at the... the other thing. 380 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,296 Bingo! We got it! 381 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,034 JUSTIN: You're the man, Richie! 382 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,235 All right! 383 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,304 Who wants a latte? 384 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,210 I'm really sorry, you guys. 385 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,878 For what? 386 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,113 You were perfect. 387 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,382 You did exactly what I thought you'd do. 388 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,284 What are you talking about? 389 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,418 They have a fake letter. 390 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,886 I knew Francis wouldn't leave us alone 391 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:20,920 without getting something 392 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,589 and I knew you'd give it away. 393 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,125 I knew exactly what everyone would do. 394 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,926 So where's the real letter? 395 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,628 I had to think of the one place 396 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,263 they'd never think of looking. 397 00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:31,731 I had to give it to the one person 398 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,799 they'd never think 399 00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:33,900 I'd give it to. 400 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,235 I did the most brilliant thing of all: 401 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,403 I gave it to Dewey. 402 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,738 And I hid it under Mom's pillow. 403 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,273 You what?! 404 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,818 I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him. 405 00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,987 I am going to kill him! 406 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,990 (making ghostly sounds) 407 00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,092 This is all a dream. 408 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,160 Oh, shut up, Reese! 409 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,128 Mom, stop it. 410 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,162 You're sick. 411 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,430 I'm too mad to be sick. 412 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,432 No, he has finally done it this time. 413 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,666 Where is that brochure 414 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,501 for the work farm in Arizona? 415 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:11,438 He thinks military school is tough? 416 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,673 Just wait. 417 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,642 Wait. 418 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:18,178 Wait... 419 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,279 wait... 420 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,680 wait! 421 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,784 (Lois retching) 422 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:25,952 Hey, Malcolm? 423 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:26,953 Hi, Francis. 424 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,321 Look, I'm sorry about all this. 425 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:29,356 I shouldn't have 426 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:30,657 sent those guys over. 427 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:31,658 It was stupid. 428 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:32,825 You know, Francis, 429 00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:35,295 we never actually intended to show the letter to Mom. 430 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,963 We just wanted to scare you. 431 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,131 Yeah, I know. 432 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,532 You guys would never do that to me. 433 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,867 But if she did see the letter, 434 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,536 you'd know it was just an accident, right? 435 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,172 Yeah, but Richie has the letter. 436 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,309 Please tell me Richie has the letter. 437 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,211 Richie has coupons. 438 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,912 Mom has the letter. 439 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,016 But like I said, it was just an accident. I swear. 440 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,886 So the thing you've been threatening to do all day 441 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,223 but had no intention of doing, you did but didn't mean to? 442 00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,523 Yeah. 443 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,193 You can yell at us now. 444 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,727 (sighs) 445 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,362 No, I guess I deserve it. 446 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,830 I shouldn't have ratted on you guys. 447 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,167 Mom was just really pressuring me about coming home 448 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:16,169 and, well, I folded. 449 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,670 Coming home? 450 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,739 Yeah, she said if I wanted to come home for the summer, 451 00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:21,108 I had to tell her about the bike. 452 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:26,179 But that's just a lame excuse. 453 00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,448 I'm sorry. 454 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:36,055 Actually, that was a pretty good excuse. 455 00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:39,692 Wow, you have made a great deal here, Hal. 456 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,229 Now, you just, uh, sign right there 457 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,763 and she's all yours. 458 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,199 Yeah, you know, I-I've been thinking... 459 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,035 I think maybe I got a little overexcited. 460 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,603 Aw, that's just the jitters. 461 00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,206 They'll be long gone when you're roaring home 462 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,741 in your brand-new Porsche. 463 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,243 Just sign. No, I think 464 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,777 maybe we should do this another time 465 00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,212 because I-I'm not feeling very well 466 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,280 and my wife has the flu... 467 00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,714 I'll tell you what-- 468 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,050 let's throw in the new chrome turbo wheels 469 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,453 and free car washes for a year-- just sign. 470 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:09,055 I can't. 471 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:12,725 But, Hal... 472 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,595 you put your initials by this number. 473 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,063 Sorry. 474 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,599 Maybe some other time. 475 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,902 Hal, will you do me one favor? 476 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,238 One favor, now, I want you just to... 477 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:28,107 stick your head in the car one last time, okay? 478 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,942 I want you to smell the leather, 479 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,911 take another look at that console, 480 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,080 and tell me you don't want this car. 481 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,081 Go ahead, do it. 482 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:38,485 Come on. 483 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,119 (inhaling) 484 00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,621 So what do you say? 485 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,923 (retching) 486 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,958 I told you I was sick! 487 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,603 Oh, my God! 488 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,670 You guys, 489 00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,272 we can save Francis. 490 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,673 What?! Think about it-- 491 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,008 every time Mom gets mad, 492 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,311 she forgets about everything else in the world 493 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,945 except for the things she's mad at. 494 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,647 That focus is the key to her power. 495 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:08,648 So? 496 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:09,949 So Mom won't care so much 497 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,451 about sending Francis to a work farm 498 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,786 if she's busy being mad at someone else, like at us. 499 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,322 We can do that. 500 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,123 Yeah. You don't understand. 501 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,292 We're going to have to get in real trouble, 502 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:22,128 more trouble than we've ever been in, in our entire lives. 503 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,131 And we can't make it look like we're doing it on purpose. 504 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,834 I just want you guys to know what you're in for. 505 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,736 We owe it to him. 506 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,844 Okay, we got Dad's skating trophy, 507 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,646 Mom and Dad's wedding portrait, 508 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,847 Mom's favorite lamp. 509 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,352 No, Dewey, it's stuff they like, not you. 510 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,486 Oh. 511 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,520 Good! 512 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,489 Paint?! 513 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,690 Yeah. 514 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,825 That way, we not only destroy the stuff; 515 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,160 we take out the driveway, 516 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,195 splash on the house and, with any luck, 517 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,664 get some collateral damage 518 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:58,998 to the neighbors. 519 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,333 What a waste! 520 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,668 For any other reason 521 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,504 this would've been the funnest thing ever. 522 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:05,838 (watch beeps) 523 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,173 Okay, guys... 524 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,209 have the last candy bars of your childhood. 525 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,886 (cheerfully goofy): Hey! Time to wake up! 526 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,854 Hey! Time to wake up! 527 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:26,726 Hey! Time to wake up! Hey! Time to wake up! 528 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,362 Hey! Time to wake up! 529 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:33,232 Hey! Time to wake up! Hey! Time to wake up! 530 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:37,069 Hey! Time to wake up! Hey... 531 00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,539 Okay, here she comes. 532 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,541 Now, remember, this is supposed to be fun. 533 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,410 (boys whoop and cheer) 534 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:49,248 * Down, down, down you go 535 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:52,885 * No way to stop 536 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,555 * As you fall, hear me call 537 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:59,392 * "No, no, no" 538 00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:04,130 * Fogging the view, cupping face to the window * 539 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:07,900 * In darkness you make out a spiraling shape * 540 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:11,804 * Putting all reason aside, you exchange what you got * 541 00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:15,475 * For a thing that's hypnotic and strange * 542 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:20,647 * The spiraling shape will make you go insane. * 543 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,782 (crashing) 544 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,253 Well, I guess it's mission accomplished. 545 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:30,623 I don't think Mom even remembers she has a son named Francis. 546 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,258 LOIS: Boys! 547 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:35,462 Just come down. 548 00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:38,264 We're not coming down until you tell us what you're going to do. 549 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:42,001 Not going to tell you what I'm going to do until you come down. 550 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,103 Why don't you just tell us? 551 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,939 Why don't you just come down? 552 00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:49,108 Tell us. Come down. 553 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,443 Just tell us! Come down. 554 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:53,480 But if you tell us, we'll come down.