1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,304 This isn't fair. Yes, it is. 2 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:04,338 It's absolutely fair. 3 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:05,806 I'm getting hungry. 4 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,041 We're doing it my way. 5 00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:08,309 They're getting cold. 6 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,078 You want them divided up fairly or not? 7 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,080 You have more than me. No, I don't. 8 00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,148 We all have 29 inches of fries so far. 9 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,417 I have two four-inchers, five three-inchers 10 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,751 and three two-inchers. 11 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,688 You have five five-inchers and a four-incher. 12 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,256 They're exactly the same. 13 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,558 Dewey! 14 00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,227 Okay, we're going to assume 15 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,929 this was a four-incher from the share pile. 16 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,098 117 minus three, 17 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,900 times 29, divided by three, minus... 18 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:35,136 We each take a two-inch bite out of this one. 19 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,739 Last week, we had curly fries. 20 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,874 It took us three hours. 21 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:44,412 * Yes, no, maybe 22 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,947 * I don't know 23 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:50,284 * Can you repeat the question? 24 00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:52,553 * You're not the boss of me now * 25 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,955 * You're not the boss of me now * 26 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:57,358 * You're not the boss of me now * 27 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,393 * And you're not so big 28 00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,895 * You're not the boss of me now * 29 00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,897 * You're not the boss of me now * 30 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,400 * You're not the boss of me now * 31 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,203 * And you're not so big 32 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,606 * Life is unfair. 33 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,578 BOY: Good job, Don! 34 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,752 (boys shouting, Malcolm panting) 35 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,255 BOY: Center it! 36 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,961 Aw, man. 37 00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:34,995 He's wide open! 38 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,764 Shoot, shoot! There it is! 39 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,369 In your... face. 40 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,438 (panting) 41 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:49,210 BOY: I got it, I got it! 42 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:55,783 Car! 43 00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:09,430 Good... game. 44 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,132 This... sucks. 45 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,202 You... mocking me? 46 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,870 No... tired. 47 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,540 Get... skates. 48 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,774 Can't. 49 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,510 Dad. 50 00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:26,314 My dad was some kind of skating champion 51 00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,881 a long time ago. 52 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,650 He made a rule-- no one in the family 53 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:32,186 could buy skates until after they take lessons from him. 54 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,522 So take... the lessons. 55 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,190 You don't get it. 56 00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,559 My dad's, like, a total fanatic about skating. 57 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,294 He doesn't even call it skating. 58 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,462 He calls it... 59 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,030 "The Brotherhood of the Wheel." 60 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,465 He taught Francis and Reese, 61 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,467 and they've never been the same after. 62 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,735 Gretzky shoots! 63 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,169 He scores! 64 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,739 He laughs at the other Canadians! 65 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,674 Hey, Reese, remember when Dad taught you 66 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:54,742 how to skate? 67 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,410 I don't want to talk about it. 68 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,013 Why can't you just tell me what it was like? 69 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,649 One, I'm not supposed to, 70 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,084 and two, I don't even like to think about it. 71 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,419 It makes me cry. 72 00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:06,654 Hey, hey, hey! 73 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,422 What's wrong with you? 74 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,858 You know you're not supposed to skate in the house. 75 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,494 Why? Everyone else in the world gets to. 76 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,163 Wait a minute. Somebody stepped in something. 77 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,899 Oh, my God. 78 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,836 Oh, my God! What a mess! 79 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,171 Reese... 80 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,607 what did you roll in? 81 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,309 Oh, man. 82 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,481 (groaning, panting) 83 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,386 You have to admit, it is kind of funny-- 84 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,822 yelling so loud you actually throw out your back. 85 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,527 Just try to relax. 86 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,229 Got the baby monitor all set up here. 87 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:52,266 Now, if you need anything, just holler-- 88 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,767 but not too loud-- 89 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:56,270 and I will get on it. 90 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,306 (shrieks) 91 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,308 Oh, God. 92 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,209 Sorry. Sorry. Oh, God. 93 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,578 Lois, why don't you just take the pain medicine 94 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:05,613 the doctor gave you? 95 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,281 Because they make me loopy. 96 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,550 I will not have this house come crashing down around me 97 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,485 because I'm hopped up on goofballs. 98 00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:14,221 Mom, I'm really sorry. 99 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,423 Are you okay? 100 00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:17,858 Oh, Reese, come to mama. 101 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,661 Closer, sweetheart. 102 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,831 Are you happy you crippled your mother? 103 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:24,832 Mom... 104 00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:25,899 Are you? 105 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,601 Mom. Mom. Ow! 106 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,505 Survival weekend? 107 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,173 What does that mean? 108 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,442 That means we get to spend 109 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,143 two whole days out in the wilderness 110 00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,911 with limited supplies and no food. 111 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:38,946 You're kidding, right? 112 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,681 No. 113 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,250 It's an excellent way to learn basic survival techniques. 114 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,018 It's two days in the woods. 115 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,087 Our parents are paying for room and board. 116 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,356 Where does that money go? 117 00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,490 Sounds like a big scam. 118 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,526 Maybe so, but you're doing it. 119 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,361 What? 120 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,628 Francis, I let you 121 00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:56,163 blow off a lot of things around here, 122 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,865 but this is something I believe in. 123 00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,099 It's a character builder. 124 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,601 I think it'll be good for you. 125 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,936 How could it be good for me? 126 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,605 No food, no shelter. 127 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,006 No broken clavicles. 128 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,742 That's something inside me, right? 129 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,454 LOIS: What are you doing?! 130 00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,622 Nothing. 131 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,724 Get a glass. 132 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:25,993 Don't you dare! 133 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,194 When I get well, I am going 134 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,562 to beat you blue, mister. 135 00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:29,797 Get a glass! 136 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,064 All right. Okay. 137 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,635 Can I have some milk? 138 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,336 Yes, but get a glass. 139 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,805 Okay. 140 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,039 Hello, Francis. 141 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,040 I have a problem. 142 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,509 I need your advice. 143 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,511 Trust me, pal, whatever you're going through 144 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,312 is not half as bad as what I'm facing. 145 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,415 I'm thinking of asking Dad for skating lessons. 146 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,382 (inhales sharply) 147 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:49,717 Why does everyone do that? 148 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,318 What does he do? 149 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,554 Look, if I told you, you'd just freak out, 150 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,255 but if you think you're ready, 151 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:57,658 my advice is to get it over with quickly. 152 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,594 It's like pulling a giant Band-Aid off your crotch. 153 00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,563 I'm going to have a Band-Aid on my crotch? 154 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,764 Who are you talking to? 155 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,065 Francis. 156 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,336 Hi, sweetie. 157 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,772 Hi, Mom. Oh, I am in such pain because of my back. 158 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,041 Doctor says I have to stay in bed for at least three days Mom... 159 00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:15,576 with my leg up on a pillow 160 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,077 and then I'm supposed to put ice on it. 161 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,345 Ice, not heat. Look, Mom. 162 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,947 Have you ever heard of such a thing? 163 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,515 I never heard of such a thing. 164 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,551 That doesn't make any sense to me. 165 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,034 Oh, thanks, honey. 166 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,069 Here we go. 167 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,136 One more thing. Huh? 168 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,104 Yeah? 169 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:47,040 Stop trying to drug my food. 170 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,242 Oh. 171 00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:50,478 Where was I? 172 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,579 Francis? 173 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:52,713 Where wa...? 174 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,881 Uh, your back. 175 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:54,815 Oh, yeah. 176 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:55,983 So they say that my fourth 177 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,785 and fifth vertebrae are out of alignment. 178 00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,119 Apparently my shoulder muscles are asymmetrical. 179 00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,888 I mean, did you ever hear of such a thing? 180 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,389 They say it's genetic. 181 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,557 It's the first case of scream-induced 182 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,158 back trauma they've ever seen. 183 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,594 I swear, they paraded every Tom, Dick and Harry 184 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:07,928 through that room to take a look at me. 185 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,329 And me, I'm just lying there 186 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,064 with that little flimsy paper thing on me 187 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,901 with my rear end flapping in the breeze for all the world to see. 188 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,402 HAL: Boys, they're called... 189 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,770 Gut-busters. 190 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:19,773 They take a sausage, stuff it with cheese, 191 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,108 wrap it with bacon, 192 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,744 and shove it in a deep-fat fryer 193 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,012 full of lard. 194 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,413 They're indescribable. 195 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,615 Bon appetit. 196 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:31,952 Malcolm, where have you been? 197 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,186 You got to get in on this. 198 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,388 Dad... I want skating lessons. 199 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,662 Son, do you know, once you start 200 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,631 there's no going back? 201 00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:45,533 I know. 202 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,668 This means total commitment. 203 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,603 Once you begin the path, 204 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,872 there is no leaving the path. 205 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,608 Are you sure you're ready for that? 206 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,343 I mean really ready? 207 00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,046 I-I guess so. 208 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,047 Neat. 209 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,782 We'll start tomorrow. 210 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,518 Come on, dig in before they harden. 211 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,497 Let's do it. 212 00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:19,700 Stretch. 213 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,969 Nose to knees, nose to knees, 214 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,303 and... release. 215 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,738 Ooh. 216 00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,339 You feeling a little limber now? 217 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,741 Mostly I feel sleepy. 218 00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,409 Well, we have to start early. 219 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,511 We've got a lot of ground to cover. 220 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,712 Rule number one: 221 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,682 you can't question my ways. 222 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,383 I'm the top skate-dog. 223 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,851 Understood? 224 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,554 You may not like my methods, 225 00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:43,090 but let me just show you what you can accomplish 226 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,524 if you stick with it. 227 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,061 (sniffs) 228 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,529 (blows air) 229 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:57,738 (disco music playing) 230 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,877 Should I be impressed or horrified? 231 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,080 Dad, that was unbelievable. 232 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:43,651 Whew! That routine won me a gold medal, a macramé plant hanger, 233 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:46,654 and your mother's heart, all in the same afternoon. 234 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,155 What to see your skates? 235 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,122 Yeah. 236 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:50,257 Come on. 237 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,059 I prefer a Saratoga four-wide, 238 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,927 but I know you kids like that 239 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,395 in-line stuff. 240 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,463 So... 241 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,833 Whoa! They're beautiful! 242 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,669 They are, aren't they? 243 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:05,673 Wait, I don't get to wear them? 244 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:09,109 Oh, no... you're not ready for those just yet. 245 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,478 That's just your incentive. 246 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,114 One step at a time, Malcolm. 247 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,750 Roll to the gold. Huh? 248 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,786 You're going to start with these. 249 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:22,790 Why do I have to... Ah-ah-ah. 250 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,257 Top skate-dog. 251 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,960 Now, let's see you skate through those cones. 252 00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:30,798 I don't have skates. 253 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:34,968 Your skates are in here. 254 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,137 Go on. 255 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,173 HAL: Glide... and glide... 256 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:43,110 let your arms work with-- slow down. 257 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,079 Slower. Slower! 258 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,615 This is going to rule. 259 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,650 All I'm taking is a canteen, 260 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:54,121 a knife, my bedroll and some emergency rations. 261 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,122 Wuss. 262 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,491 Canteen, knife, survival blanket. 263 00:10:58,525 --> 00:10:59,960 That's all? 264 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,262 Dude, hard-core. 265 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,671 Let's rock. 266 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:17,577 You ready? Ready as I'll ever be. 267 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,419 (screams) 268 00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,922 What is it? 269 00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:29,990 My back. 270 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:30,991 I can't move. 271 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,592 It happens sometimes. 272 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,593 It's genetic. 273 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:36,263 My shoulder muscles are asymmetrical, 274 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:39,532 and it pulls my vertebrae out of alignment. 275 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,502 I'll be fine. 276 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,172 I just need to ice it. 277 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,174 Which vertebrae? 278 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,742 Fourth and fifth. 279 00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:49,877 All right. 280 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,879 Take him to his room. 281 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:56,049 HAL: Hands out front so you get a balance. 282 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,417 Hold it... hold it. 283 00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,886 Why am I doing this? 284 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,687 Stop clouding your mind. 285 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,055 This is a process. 286 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:06,026 Dad, it's street hockey, not clown school. 287 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:10,130 Process... and one and down and over. 288 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,732 When am I ever going to use this? 289 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,201 Full range of motion, 290 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,904 and point and bump, and point and bump, 291 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,305 and point and bump, 292 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,639 and then we glide. 293 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:21,942 How about my skates? 294 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,710 Can I at least try on my skates? 295 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,644 Absolutely not. 296 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,146 You need at least two more days. 297 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,214 Two days? 298 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,215 Uh-huh. 299 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,216 I know enough 300 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,784 to play a stupid game of street hockey now. 301 00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:31,885 That's all I care about. 302 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,420 Malcolm, we go at the speed I say. 303 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,823 This is about safety and proper technique. 304 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,390 But it doesn't make any sense. 305 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,893 That's because you're not in a skating state of mind. 306 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:40,828 Now, that's it. Okay? 307 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:41,829 We're done. Go home. 308 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,130 You know what? 309 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,332 Thanks to your attitude, 310 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,734 we are now a day behind. 311 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,002 Fine! 312 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,609 The boy's fighting me, Lois. 313 00:12:56,643 --> 00:13:01,014 Oh, he's got the talent, but he's reckless and wild. 314 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,916 Fine. I'll talk to him. 315 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,317 That's not what I'm asking. 316 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,986 Well, that's what going to ha... 317 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:06,987 (groans in pain) 318 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:10,190 Would you just take the darn pill... dear? 319 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,292 I can't believe he cut me off. 320 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,927 You questioned his ways. 321 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,662 Never question his ways. 322 00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,364 That just makes it take even longer. 323 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,299 You going to go play hockey? You bet. 324 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,868 I'll see you out there... 325 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,169 in a month or two. 326 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,650 I don't know how yet, 327 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,787 but there's definitely a way I can justify this. 328 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,056 Malcolm! 329 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,391 Dang, I thought I'd at least 330 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,493 get a few minutes in before he busted me. 331 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:47,660 You know what? Screw it. 332 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:48,695 I'm sick of this. 333 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,197 What do you think you're doing? 334 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,065 Taking my skates to go play hockey. 335 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:54,201 Absolutely not; we had an agreement. 336 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,202 Agreement? 337 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,337 You just like bossing me around! 338 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,406 And you like fighting me every step of the way! 339 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,374 Because you're treating me like a baby! 340 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,376 The stuff you're teaching me is stupid. 341 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:04,577 Okay, that's it. 342 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,479 You just lost these, pal. 343 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,380 Oh, yeah? Well... 344 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:08,381 (squealing) 345 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:09,049 (screeching) 346 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:09,917 (feedback) 347 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:10,717 ...you. 348 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,954 You heard me. 349 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,229 WOMAN (over television): Modeling isn't all glamour. 350 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:26,033 Sometimes you have to act like it's hot when it's really cold. 351 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,601 People don't realize how hard we work... 352 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:34,174 I am the only one who truly understands you, Inga. 353 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,509 I cannot believe you said that to Dad. 354 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,877 Oh, and by the way-- 355 00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,779 if you pass Francis on your way to Siberia, 356 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,114 tell him I said hi. 357 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,782 Do you think he told Mom? 358 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,617 I wouldn't worry about that. 359 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,353 Mom's feeling a lot better. 360 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,455 Dr. Reese paid her a little visit. 361 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,423 What are you talking about? 362 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:54,861 Let's just say, pills and sandwich-- not effective; 363 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,397 pills and milk-- effective. 364 00:14:58,498 --> 00:14:59,632 I just, I just don't get it. 365 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,269 I mean, I have always been the good parent. 366 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,971 (laughing) 367 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,305 That's true. 368 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,473 I'm the nice one. 369 00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:07,607 Yeah, that's true. 370 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,608 You're the bad one. 371 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,410 The system can't work with two bad cops. 372 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:11,611 Oh, I hate cops. 373 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,612 Cops, eh... 374 00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:13,646 You know what else I hate? 375 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,548 Those what-do-you- call-thems? Those, uh... 376 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,218 I just wasn't ready for this from Malcolm. ...soap salesmen. 377 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,786 Not yet. But he stepped over the line 378 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,421 and I don't think there's any way back. 379 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,389 I mean, it's not as if 380 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,890 I caught him with a cigarette 381 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,725 and can make him smoke a whole carton. 382 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,494 You know what? I hate bigots, too. 383 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:28,561 Oh, I hate bigots. 384 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,330 Malcolm has always been different. 385 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,499 God, why can't he be like his brothers? 386 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,934 Reese took a swing at me, Francis took a swing at me-- 387 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,503 that I can deal with. 388 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,905 Block, chop, they're on the ground gasping for air. 389 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:39,839 It's over with. 390 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,941 But this is like... words. 391 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:44,744 I mean, you know what I hate the most of all? 392 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,547 I hate those gigantic pink... 393 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,785 Oh, thank God. 394 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,956 * 395 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:30,257 * 396 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,671 Smoking! 397 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,146 (imitating radio static) 398 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,847 Uh, Houston, we are good to go. 399 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:55,982 (imitating static) 400 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,250 Uh, roger that. 401 00:16:57,284 --> 00:17:00,653 You are good to go in five, four, three, two, one. 402 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,222 Go! 403 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,723 Whoo! 404 00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:09,896 Hey... fellas! 405 00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:12,031 Boy, has it been two days already? 406 00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,532 How was it, huh? 407 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,935 You just missed the big fire. 408 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:20,440 But, um, luckily I was here to put it out. 409 00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:24,611 Can I offer you some cookie dough? 410 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,247 Come on, guys, let's be reasonable. 411 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,118 I can't spend two days in the woods tied to a chair. 412 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:34,087 Three days-- one extra for lying. 413 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:37,524 Well, at least lend me a jacket! Or some food! 414 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,925 Dudes, come on! 415 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,228 You can't leave me out here with nothing! 416 00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:46,166 That was to me, not at me, right?! 417 00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:49,936 Hal. 418 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:50,937 (gasping) 419 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,272 Honey, what are you doing up? 420 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,773 Don't you "honey" me. 421 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,275 You slipped me drugs. 422 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,409 Oh! 423 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,245 You ought to be ashamed of yourself, 424 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,547 getting Reese to sandbag me like that. 425 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,749 "Would you like some milk, Mother?" 426 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:06,253 The kid's never brought me one thing in his entire life. 427 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,288 And don't think I can't smell those Gut-busters 428 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,989 coming out of your pores. 429 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,459 You are back on rice cakes, mister, 430 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,626 starting now! 431 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:16,763 Boys, your mother's mobile. 432 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:22,101 Malcolm, I need to see you in the backyard. 433 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:26,739 Now, you said what you said, and we can't change that. 434 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,909 And it isn't the kind of thing that could be solved 435 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,578 with an apology or a simple punishment. 436 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:35,582 But we do need to find a way to get past this. Agreed? 437 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,584 I guess so. 438 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,187 Good. Now, here's how I see it: 439 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:43,423 this whole thing stems from you feeling like 440 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,292 I treat you like a child. 441 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,594 So... 442 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,095 what's this? 443 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,998 That is ten pages, single-spaced, 444 00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:55,268 of filthy name calling. 445 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,803 What?! 446 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,638 They get worse as they go along. 447 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,474 What am I supposed to do with this? 448 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,276 Well, since you think you're old enough 449 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,477 to use these kind of words, 450 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:07,013 I think you're old enough to see the effect they have. 451 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,549 Malcolm, you are going to look me in the eye 452 00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:12,519 and say every last one of these terrible things 453 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,654 to the man who held you in his arms 454 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,289 the moment you were born. 455 00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,324 But, Dad... 456 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,026 Uh-uh, I'm not your dad; I'm, uh, here... 457 00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,361 (tapping on page) 458 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,366 A stinkin' son of a... 459 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,235 To my face. 460 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,702 Continue. 461 00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,404 * 462 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,882 I can't. 463 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,318 You see, son? Words hurt. 464 00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:48,020 That's why you have to use them carefully. 465 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,522 I understand, Dad. 466 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,258 I'm sorry. 467 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:54,861 Okay. I think you've had enough. 468 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:57,697 No, wait. I can make it through the whole list. 469 00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,899 I'm not going to let you down again. 470 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,103 * 471 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,583 Hole. 472 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,217 Good. 473 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,253 Very thorough. 474 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:24,557 Dad, will you please finish teaching me how to skate? 475 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,259 Of course. 476 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:29,729 But let's not make eye contact for a couple weeks. 477 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,432 You got it. 478 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,601 (boys shouting indistinctly) 479 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,903 (Malcolm panting) 480 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,546 Aw, man. 481 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,914 Come on. 482 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,450 (boys shouting indistinctly) 483 00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:54,754 (disco music playing) 484 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,285 (grunts) 485 00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:49,642 I know I look like an idiot, but I'm kickin' ass!