1
00:00:01,769 --> 00:00:04,739
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:00:17,552 --> 00:00:18,653
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)

3
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:28,262
(OWL HOWLING)

4
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,565
CHILD: <i>Dakotakid.</i>

5
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:42,276
I'm here to impart my wisdom
about what I've learned in life.

6
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,712
I'm not going to lie to you.

7
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:46,548
Or sugarcoat anything

8
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,482
because that wouldn't
benefit either of us.

9
00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:50,417
ALAN: (WITH AMERICAN ACCENT)
You're a miracle.

10
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,855
Yeah. I don't deserve you.

11
00:00:53,955 --> 00:00:56,824
The rich are happier.
There, I said it.

12
00:00:57,025 --> 00:00:58,960
No one will ever love you
more than me.

13
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,127
I will... I will...

14
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,129
I will tear down walls
with my bare hands

15
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,196
if they get in your way.

16
00:01:03,565 --> 00:01:05,767
All that crap about money
being the root of all evil.

17
00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:07,301
Do you know who says that?

18
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:09,971
Poor people.
Poor people say that.

19
00:01:10,038 --> 00:01:11,405
I will make absolutely sure

20
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:14,408
that you have every opportunity
that life has to offer.

21
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,244
With money comes
time and freedom.

22
00:01:17,579 --> 00:01:19,814
And those two together
are the key to life.

23
00:01:19,881 --> 00:01:21,348
You tell me what you need.

24
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,551
Okay? What do you need?
You want me to...

25
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:25,687
Want me to dance?

26
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:29,023
I could... I could dance.
I could... I could sing?

27
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,490
So how do you make money?

28
00:01:30,725 --> 00:01:35,597
Well, you could...
be a professional athlete, or...

29
00:01:35,897 --> 00:01:37,164
or a movie star.

30
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,033
(SINGS) <i>♪ Then the traveler</i>
<i>In the dark ♪</i>

31
00:01:39,601 --> 00:01:42,102
<i>♪ Thanks you</i>
<i>For your tiny spark! ♪</i>

32
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:43,972
But those rely on luck.

33
00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,708
And you can't rely on luck.
Not with our family.

34
00:01:46,808 --> 00:01:49,644
<i>♪ He does not know</i>
<i>Which way to go ♪</i>

35
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:53,948
<i>♪ If you did not twinkle, so! ♪</i>

36
00:01:54,015 --> 00:01:55,583
LAUREN: What are you singing?

37
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,052
Uh, "Twinkle, Twinkle".

38
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,153
BRIAN: So the only way
to guarantee success

39
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,122
is with an education.

40
00:02:02,624 --> 00:02:06,159
Now, education nowadays
is like a...

41
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:07,895
like a domino effect.

42
00:02:08,730 --> 00:02:11,331
In order to get into
a prestigious university,

43
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:14,602
you have to get
into a prominent grammar school.

44
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,572
And in order to get
into a prominent grammar school,

45
00:02:17,772 --> 00:02:20,875
you have to get into
a top-notch primary school.

46
00:02:21,109 --> 00:02:24,444
And in order to prepare you
for a top-notch primary school,

47
00:02:26,748 --> 00:02:28,683
you have to go to a great...

48
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:30,484
preschool.

49
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,386
(BABY CRIES IN THE DISTANCE)

50
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,656
I thought you were...
I thought you were sleeping.

51
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,891
Are you in full hair and makeup?

52
00:02:36,958 --> 00:02:38,893
I don't know.
ALAN: Beautiful.

53
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,828
Can I get you anything?
Champagne?

54
00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:42,730
Sure.
Some balloons?

55
00:02:42,797 --> 00:02:44,164
Yep. Well, we got the...

56
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,166
Oh, good.
We did it!

57
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,669
LAUREN: I know.
You did it!

58
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,537
This is what a good education
can do for you.

59
00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:51,806
And I will make sure
that you get it.

60
00:02:51,873 --> 00:02:53,875
(PATIENT COUGHS)
(BRIAN SHUSHES)

61
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,009
(BABY COOS)

62
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,411
What are you shushing her for?
She just had a baby.

63
00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:00,515
Not my baby, was it?
(LAUGHS) Stop it, Brian!

64
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,382
Have you noticed
that he's the quietest?

65
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:05,285
(BABY GRACE CRIES)
Hi, Momma.

66
00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:07,755
SARAH: (GROANS)
Oh, let's get in bed.

67
00:03:07,889 --> 00:03:08,890
Stop!

68
00:03:08,990 --> 00:03:10,024
(GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING)

69
00:03:10,091 --> 00:03:11,592
Hello. Oh.

70
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,496
(GROANS)

71
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:20,068
You just leave it to me.
I'll take care of everything.

72
00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:21,169
I'll take care of everything.

73
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,137
I promise.
I promise you.

74
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,741
(CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)

75
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:37,350
BRIAN: (IMITATES PUNCHING,
CHOKING SOUNDS)

76
00:03:37,819 --> 00:03:40,054
Goodness, you're a psychopath,
aren't you?

77
00:03:40,121 --> 00:03:41,622
You're going to be a killer!

78
00:03:46,828 --> 00:03:48,361
There you go.

79
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:52,567
There you go.
You're getting it. Hey!

80
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,937
Hey, that could be you one day.
(COOS)

81
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,773
You can do anything
you set your mind to, Gracie.

82
00:03:58,873 --> 00:04:00,007
What are you doing?

83
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,175
She wanted to practice walking.

84
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,277
She's six months old.
It's midnight.

85
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,883
MONKEY: (On TV) <i>Oh, hi, guys.</i>
<i>Hey, guess what?</i>

86
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:12,620
<i>I put on my own pants</i>
<i>this morning. Did you?</i>

87
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,923
Right, I'm off. You all right?
Okay, babe.

88
00:04:15,990 --> 00:04:18,492
BRIAN: "Time To Get Dressed"
with <i>the Wild and the Crazies?</i>

89
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,061
You're de-educating him.
Oh, right.

90
00:04:20,128 --> 00:04:22,063
I taught him how
to get dressed months ago.

91
00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,831
Just let him enjoy it.

92
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:28,401
<i>Flap it over like that.</i>
<i>Flap it over like that.</i>

93
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:30,104
<i>Isn't that brilliant?</i>

94
00:04:30,171 --> 00:04:32,540
(CHILDREN LAUGH, CHEER)

95
00:04:32,607 --> 00:04:37,512
An astronaut goes like this.
(WOOSHES)

96
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,047
You're on the moon.

97
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,817
The moon is right
out there, honey.

98
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,451
The moon's right out there.

99
00:04:44,519 --> 00:04:46,220
Name all
the countries for Mummy, go.

100
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,022
Afghanistan, Albania,
Algeria, Andorra, Angola,

101
00:04:48,089 --> 00:04:50,691
Antigua and Barbuda, Argentina,
Armenia, Australia, Austria,

102
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,794
Azerbaijan, Bahamas,
Bahrain, Bangladesh,

103
00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,729
Barbados, Belarus, Belgium,
Belize, Benin, Bhutan,

104
00:04:54,796 --> 00:04:57,497
Bolivia, Bosnia and Herzegovina,
Botswana, Brazil, Brunei,

105
00:04:57,565 --> 00:05:00,234
Bulgaria, Burkina Faso,
Burundi, Cabo Verde,

106
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,603
<i>Cambodia, Cameroon, Canada...</i>

107
00:05:03,838 --> 00:05:06,073
(GROANS)
Hi, baby.

108
00:05:07,108 --> 00:05:09,210
Babe, I think he's ready.
(CLICKS TONGUE, GROANS)

109
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,746
We should check out some places.
And they're incredible.

110
00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:14,615
Yeah. Okay.
Time for night-nights, isn't it?

111
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:19,987
(CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)

112
00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:23,024
(CHILDREN CHATTER)

113
00:05:24,559 --> 00:05:27,829
SARAH: Aw, it's so cute!

114
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,363
BRIAN: Bubba! This way.

115
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:32,266
(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY)

116
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,400
Oh.

117
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,170
(CHILDREN CHATTER, LAUGHING)

118
00:05:36,237 --> 00:05:37,538
How's my tie?

119
00:05:38,573 --> 00:05:41,008
Relax. Just relax.
You look great.

120
00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:42,342
Do I?
Yeah.

121
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,178
Ready? Yeah.
Yeah.

122
00:05:44,245 --> 00:05:45,478
You sure?
Come on! Come on!

123
00:05:45,847 --> 00:05:48,783
Right, babe, I'm not gonna let
these people intimidate us.

124
00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:50,084
No, we belong here.

125
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,451
TEACHER: Down here then.

126
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,187
This is the Oxford
of preschools.

127
00:05:53,254 --> 00:05:55,022
Did you know 82%
of its graduates

128
00:05:55,156 --> 00:05:57,758
are multi-millionaires now?
Oh, yeah. Who told you that?

129
00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,827
It's true, honestly.
Well...

130
00:06:00,061 --> 00:06:01,394
Look at them, bub.

131
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:10,805
(SIGHS)

132
00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:14,508
Right, look at me. Come here.

133
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:18,279
I know you want the best
for Dylan. I think it's lovely.

134
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,747
But let's just make sure
we like it

135
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,215
before we start
planning his graduation.

136
00:06:21,282 --> 00:06:22,717
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.

137
00:06:22,884 --> 00:06:24,685
BRIAN: (SMOOCHES) I love you.
SARAH: (SMOOCHES) Right, cool.

138
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,320
BRIAN: I belong here, babe.

139
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,556
(INTRIGUING PLAYFUL
MUSIC PLAYING)

140
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,097
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)

141
00:06:47,308 --> 00:06:49,243
Oh, sorry, mate. Sorry.
Oh.

142
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:52,280
Did you see that, love?
What? Do you mean,

143
00:06:52,346 --> 00:06:54,882
did I see the five-year-old
glued to his phone? Yeah, I did.

144
00:06:54,949 --> 00:06:56,350
I think it's a bit young,
don't you?

145
00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,986
No, 'cause he was
checking the stock market.

146
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:01,822
LAUREN: It's not dissimilar
to where I went.

147
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,891
But we didn't
have duckling racing.

148
00:07:07,395 --> 00:07:08,729
It's very nice.

149
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,331
(DOOR OPENS)

150
00:07:10,665 --> 00:07:14,669
This is smart. (CLEARS THROAT)
Yeah, all the famous alumni.

151
00:07:16,404 --> 00:07:18,873
Why have they got Mr. Bean up?
BRIAN: Mr. Bean!

152
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:24,612
(CHUCKLES) Sorry. Hiya.
Hello.

153
00:07:25,780 --> 00:07:27,648
We're going on a tour.
Pardon me?

154
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:29,283
We're going on a tour.
BRIAN: What'd you say?

155
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:30,551
We're...

156
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,520
Good morning. Good morning.

157
00:07:32,787 --> 00:07:34,422
I'm Sylvia Lawrence,
Director of Admissions.

158
00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,290
Hi. Sylvia. Brian.
Pleased to meet you.

159
00:07:36,357 --> 00:07:37,792
SARAH: Sarah. Hiya.
Lovely to meet you.

160
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,293
(GASPS) It's lovely
to see you both again.

161
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:40,628
It's good to see you again,
Sylvia.

162
00:07:40,695 --> 00:07:42,063
SYLVIA: Good to see you.

163
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:46,300
Now, uh, I'm afraid
I'm running short on time today,

164
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,535
so I've had to schedule

165
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,704
both of your
introductory tours together.

166
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,672
I hope that's okay.
SARAH: It's fine with us.

167
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:52,773
And us.
SYLVIA: Great.

168
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,141
Did you get a chance to meet?

169
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:55,409
Brian and Sarah Young,

170
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,011
this is Alan
and Lauren Williams.

171
00:07:57,078 --> 00:07:58,179
SARAH: Hiya.
Hi.

172
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,081
Yo.
Hi.

173
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:02,883
SYLVIA: Okay, well, welcome

174
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,919
to Puggsley's
Academy of Excellence.

175
00:08:04,986 --> 00:08:06,654
This is where
we prepare children

176
00:08:06,721 --> 00:08:08,089
for every aspect of life.

177
00:08:08,189 --> 00:08:11,826
We take children from four,
all the way through to 18.

178
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:14,494
We would teach,
well, Dylan and Grace,

179
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,897
how to capitalize
on their strengths

180
00:08:16,998 --> 00:08:20,568
by... by helping them
build up their weaknesses

181
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,070
so that they have the...
the confidence to tackle

182
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:26,040
any obstacle that might
present itself in their future.

183
00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:27,141
Mm. Yeah.
Yeah.

184
00:08:27,408 --> 00:08:32,246
Now, uh, most preschools
run half days.

185
00:08:32,313 --> 00:08:34,482
Here at Puggsley,
we're on full days.

186
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,450
That's great.
SYLVIA: Five days a week.

187
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:38,686
Workshops for the children
every other weekend.

188
00:08:38,753 --> 00:08:39,787
What kind of workshops?

189
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:44,792
Oh, they can range from AI
through to Anglo-Saxon poetry.

190
00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,727
Anglo-Saxon? They were before
the Normans, weren't they?

191
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,396
SYLVIA: Very good.
English history.

192
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:49,530
SYLVIA: Absolutely.

193
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:54,802
Our motto here at Puggsley is,
uh, <i>Puer paratus, puer felix.</i>

194
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,238
"A prepared child..."
"...is a successful child."

195
00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:59,240
Oh, my God.
SYLVIA: Excellent.

196
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,609
Now, we only accept
the best here,

197
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,377
and we make no apologies
for that.

198
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:07,148
We want to create an environment
where students push themselves

199
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,417
well past their potential.

200
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,485
Uh, after all,
you can only get smarter

201
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:14,755
if you play a smarter opponent.
Ah, steel sharpens steel.

202
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,891
Lemons make lemonade.
What?

203
00:09:17,458 --> 00:09:18,592
They do. Yes.

204
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,394
Um... All right.

205
00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:22,263
Uh, if you'd like
to follow me to my office,

206
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:25,466
I'd like to speak to you
about something rather delicate.

207
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,302
BRIAN: What's going on?
I'm... Yeah, losing it.

208
00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,471
SARAH: Thanks.
Oh, no, please, please.

209
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,306
ALAN: No, no, you have to...
Honestly.

210
00:09:32,473 --> 00:09:34,708
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

211
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:35,910
Every year at Puggsley's,

212
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:39,548
um, we have a limited number
of spaces. Obviously.

213
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:43,250
The siblings of current students
and alumnus get first priority.

214
00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:44,118
Then, uh...

215
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,487
whatever slots are left,
we offer to new children.

216
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:50,691
But this year, we only
have one slot. (CHUCKLES)

217
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:53,761
But we've narrowed it down
to your two children.

218
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,897
So, uh, in order
to help us decide

219
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:59,100
which one of your children
we're accepting,

220
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:04,872
you'll need to write up a thesis
on your child by this Wednesday.

221
00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:05,973
But no more than 20 pages.

222
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,208
Twenty pages?
Today's Monday!

223
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:10,010
Yeah, I know, but please,
don't feel under any pressure.

224
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,547
Your... your children both
seemed like excellent candidates

225
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:13,614
when I met them last week.

226
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:17,485
All right. So this thesis, uh,
what should it be about?

227
00:10:17,552 --> 00:10:19,987
Any volunteer work
your child has done,

228
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:23,290
or, you know,
concerts they've given.

229
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:24,859
We'll make it up.

230
00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:29,163
Then, uh, we'll have
the father's presentation.

231
00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:31,031
Sorry, what was that one?
Father's what?

232
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:32,766
SYLVIA:
The father's presentation.

233
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,835
That's, uh, that's this Friday.

234
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,538
But that should only
take about an hour.

235
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:40,774
Um, then we'll sit down
with both families next Monday

236
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:42,343
before we make
our final decision.

237
00:10:42,977 --> 00:10:45,246
We're not just choosing
a child here at Puggsley,

238
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,080
we're choosing a family.

239
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,415
All right, uh, shall we...
shall we take a walk,

240
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:49,817
and I'll show you around?

241
00:10:50,451 --> 00:10:54,822
(PLAYFUL DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

242
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,127
(MUSIC FADES)

243
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,695
Now, look.

244
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,031
The children do Tai Chi
in the morning

245
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:07,234
and have meditation time
in the afternoons.

246
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,870
All the research shows,
and we certainly feel,

247
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:13,374
that these activities help
raise their concentration levels

248
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,843
and lower their stress levels.

249
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:19,413
(IN LATIN)

250
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:20,615
Mm.

251
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:21,749
(EASTERN MUSIC PLAYING)

252
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:22,983
("SPRING" PLAYING)

253
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,587
(IN ENGLISH)
This is our conservatoire,

254
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:29,323
where we teach our children
a variety of instruments.

255
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,359
Right, well, we should
probably leave them to it.

256
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,295
Really amazing.

257
00:11:34,929 --> 00:11:37,698
All right, please, after you.

258
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:44,405
Do, uh, do Dylan and Grace play?

259
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:45,472
ALL: Yes.

260
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:46,608
Oh, which instruments?

261
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,008
Piano.
Violin.

262
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,410
Oh, the violin.

263
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,379
The violin can elicit
such emotion.

264
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:53,914
I just adore the violin.

265
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:57,851
But the piano... (CLICKS TONGUE)
...now that's my secret love.

266
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,589
I just can't
go to sleep at night

267
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,958
until I unwind
by tinkling the ivories.

268
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,994
Sylvia, I just have
to say that Lauren and I

269
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,429
are very impressed
with your school.

270
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,165
We think you've done a
wonderful job with the children.

271
00:12:11,232 --> 00:12:13,100
Thank you, Mr. Williams.
That's very nice of you to say.

272
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,803
Yes. Sarah and I agree.
We're both really impressed.

273
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,271
We love how you've trained
the children.

274
00:12:17,338 --> 00:12:20,207
It's incredible, isn't it?
SARAH: Trained? Yeah.

275
00:12:20,274 --> 00:12:21,108
BRIAN: Yeah.

276
00:12:21,275 --> 00:12:23,010
Uh, we also have quite
a stellar science lab,

277
00:12:23,077 --> 00:12:25,012
but I'm afraid
it's closed right now.

278
00:12:25,079 --> 00:12:27,549
We have
a science fair next week,

279
00:12:27,649 --> 00:12:29,116
so the room's
filled with projects.

280
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,518
Can't be disturbed.
Mrs. Lawrence,

281
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,486
I'm very sorry to bother you.
Is there a lavatory nearby?

282
00:12:32,554 --> 00:12:34,689
Yes. I'm afraid we're going to
have to go back up the stairs.

283
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,123
Back up the stairs.
Along the corridor.

284
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,726
BRIAN: Along the corridor.
SYLVIA: Take a right...

285
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:38,826
Yeah, I've got it. Thank you.

286
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,362
Then it's round to the...
Yeah. Yeah. He'll find it.

287
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:44,932
Now, fencing piste?
Yeah.

288
00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:48,570
BRIAN: Science lab.
Let's see what you got.

289
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:51,472
(PLAYFUL INTRIGUING
MUSIC PLAYING)

290
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,549
BRIAN: Bioreactor.
What is that?

291
00:13:04,619 --> 00:13:06,420
The Plastic Eater.

292
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,858
Oh! My God.

293
00:13:17,632 --> 00:13:20,034
Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, God.

294
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,270
No, no, no, no. Stop, stop!

295
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:27,007
No. Oh, this is ridiculous.

296
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:30,311
This is mad.
It'll be fine, it'll be fine.

297
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,714
Okay, the most
unoriginal science project

298
00:13:32,781 --> 00:13:34,582
in the history
of science projects.

299
00:13:34,749 --> 00:13:35,784
Cue Lava.

300
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:38,319
(VOLCANO BUZZES)

301
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:39,486
(SIGHS)

302
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:53,400
(PEOPLE CHATTER IN DISTANCE)

303
00:13:56,571 --> 00:13:58,439
SYLVIA: We have a wonderful
language department.

304
00:13:58,506 --> 00:14:00,107
So, we cover all the languages

305
00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,576
that you could
possibly want to study.

306
00:14:01,643 --> 00:14:03,277
We don't just teach
modern foreign languages here.

307
00:14:03,377 --> 00:14:05,446
We, uh,
cover any language, really.

308
00:14:05,513 --> 00:14:08,949
Arabic, Mandarin.
We also do Cantonese, Russian.

309
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,085
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
SYLVIA: Oh, sorry. One moment.

310
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,152
Yep.

311
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,722
What's that on your face?
What have you got?

312
00:14:14,689 --> 00:14:18,392
Sorry, I'm afraid there's been
an incident in the science lab.

313
00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:19,259
It's quite a mess.

314
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,563
Well, how...
how big a mess is it?

315
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:24,131
I thought the science lab...
SARAH: What did you do?

316
00:14:24,198 --> 00:14:26,266
SYLVIA: So it's beyond repair?
Oh?

317
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,705
SYLVIA: All right.
Could you secure it, please?

318
00:14:30,805 --> 00:14:31,840
Thank you.

319
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:33,941
I'm so sorry, I'm going to have
to cut this meeting short.

320
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:36,578
I... I do apologize.
Thank you all for coming in.

321
00:14:36,644 --> 00:14:38,178
We'll make
our decision next week.

322
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,515
Right, wish you all the best.
Thank you.

323
00:14:40,782 --> 00:14:41,816
SYLVIA: Oh.

324
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,785
I just got to say, it's so nice
to meet you, Sylvia.

325
00:14:43,852 --> 00:14:45,018
SYLVIA: Oh, and to you
and your wife.

326
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,654
I think we have some friends
in common.

327
00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:48,322
We should, I don't know,
lunch sometime.

328
00:14:48,389 --> 00:14:49,657
Lovely to meet you,
Mrs. Lawrence.

329
00:14:49,724 --> 00:14:50,859
Thank you so much for...

330
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,059
(KISSES)
...taking the time for that.

331
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,161
Can I call you Sylvia,
like he called you Sylvia?

332
00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:56,731
All right, Brian... (CHUCKLES)
...I'll see you both Friday.

333
00:14:56,798 --> 00:14:57,866
See ya. See youse Friday.
After you.

334
00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:58,966
Please.
Uh, uh, uh...

335
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,502
No, please, just... you go.

336
00:15:00,802 --> 00:15:02,704
All right, we'll see you.
See you later.

337
00:15:02,871 --> 00:15:06,373
(BELLS CHIME)

338
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,911
Look, I... I feel
I should address

339
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,514
the elephant in the room.

340
00:15:12,614 --> 00:15:13,681
(CHUCKLES)

341
00:15:13,848 --> 00:15:15,349
I... I would hate
for something like this

342
00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:17,619
to throw a wedge
between our families.

343
00:15:17,719 --> 00:15:20,588
Thank you. Yeah, I was...
I was gonna say the same thing.

344
00:15:20,655 --> 00:15:21,656
(CHUCKLES)

345
00:15:22,724 --> 00:15:23,991
Well?
Yeah.

346
00:15:24,425 --> 00:15:26,427
Why don't you guys
come over for dinner tonight?

347
00:15:26,528 --> 00:15:29,196
It'll give us
a chance to get acquainted.

348
00:15:30,532 --> 00:15:32,700
Yeah, you know what?
That's actually... That's good.

349
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:35,570
We should be friends.
We shouldn't be enemies, right?

350
00:15:35,637 --> 00:15:36,704
Great. What time?

351
00:15:36,771 --> 00:15:37,772
Uh...

352
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,140
7:00?
Perfect.

353
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:44,344
Okay.

354
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,415
What was that about?

355
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,785
You didn't even ask
if I was okay with it.

356
00:15:50,852 --> 00:15:52,687
What do you mean, dinner?
(MUTTERS)

357
00:15:52,754 --> 00:15:54,121
You said you want
us all to be mates.

358
00:15:54,188 --> 00:15:56,490
I know, but we have
to start writing our paper.

359
00:15:56,591 --> 00:15:57,391
It's due on Wednesday.

360
00:15:57,659 --> 00:15:59,828
I'll work on it tomorrow.
I'm a really good writer.

361
00:16:00,461 --> 00:16:03,598
Uh, no, you're not.
Yeah, I am. I'm really good.

362
00:16:03,665 --> 00:16:04,599
Okay.

363
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,038
Brian, what is up with you?

364
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,173
You've got that 1000 yard stare
in your eyes.

365
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:17,645
Right, okay. We need to know
what Dylan's up against.

366
00:16:17,712 --> 00:16:20,981
So, I figure
we go around there, meet Grace,

367
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,382
scope out his competition.

368
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,619
Scope out the competition?
BRIAN: Mm-hmm.

369
00:16:24,686 --> 00:16:26,353
Oh, my God, you are insane.

370
00:16:26,487 --> 00:16:27,789
Remember
what Michael Corleone said,

371
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,858
"Keep your friends close,
but your enemies even closer."

372
00:16:29,924 --> 00:16:31,191
And they're enemies.
Mm.

373
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,627
That was Sun Tzu, you moron.

374
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,361
Right, I don't care
whose son said it.

375
00:16:37,632 --> 00:16:38,700
(SCOFFS) I hate him.

376
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,368
He is so smarmy, isn't he?

377
00:16:42,504 --> 00:16:44,137
Smarm. He oozes smarm.

378
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:45,405
I gotta hand it to you, honey.

379
00:16:45,607 --> 00:16:47,241
The way you made him think
we're not competitive.

380
00:16:47,575 --> 00:16:49,009
You got them
to let their guard down.

381
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,010
I'm not competitive.

382
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:51,779
And I've no intention
of fighting for a spot

383
00:16:51,846 --> 00:16:53,080
in some pretentious preschool.

384
00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,782
Ah, that's good. That's good.

385
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,751
Know your opponent
inside and out.

386
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,753
It's the first lesson
in <i>The Art of War.</i>

387
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,354
Thought that was Lady Gaga.

388
00:17:02,557 --> 00:17:04,391
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

389
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,296
(COMMENTARY ON TV)
Forty-five thousand?

390
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,131
For a preschool?

391
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,668
Are you out of your mind?
You can't pay that.

392
00:17:13,768 --> 00:17:16,203
No price is too much
for our child's future, Dad.

393
00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:17,471
Well, what in the world
are they doing

394
00:17:17,572 --> 00:17:20,207
that's any different
than ordinary preschool?

395
00:17:20,274 --> 00:17:22,544
Ah, well, for starters,
they've blended the best

396
00:17:22,610 --> 00:17:24,311
educational theories
and practices

397
00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:26,213
to create this school,
and every child

398
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,148
is seen as unique and special.

399
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,618
Every child's unique
and special!

400
00:17:30,685 --> 00:17:34,421
I can find you a preschool
for a fraction of the money.

401
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,256
Like you found me a preschool
when I was Dylan's age?

402
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:38,125
There weren't any preschools!

403
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,695
There was. There was loads, Dad.
Loads of 'em!

404
00:17:40,895 --> 00:17:43,297
(SCOFFS) Boo-hoo!

405
00:17:45,967 --> 00:17:46,968
What?

406
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:50,038
If I'd sent you to a preschool,
you'd have ended up

407
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,706
Prime Minister
or something, would you?

408
00:17:51,773 --> 00:17:52,807
I might have done, yeah.

409
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,976
I might-- At least
I'd have what Jeff's got.

410
00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:56,176
You sent him private school.

411
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,478
Instead of sending me, you
bought yourself a bloody Isuzu.

412
00:17:58,580 --> 00:17:59,614
I needed that pickup

413
00:17:59,814 --> 00:18:01,148
for my work!
Right.

414
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:04,052
Why do you have to whine
like a baby?

415
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:05,452
We've been through this.

416
00:18:05,553 --> 00:18:07,889
You were older
and there was no money.

417
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,824
BRIAN: Okay,
if there was no money, Dad,

418
00:18:10,024 --> 00:18:11,091
how did you manage to swing

419
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,260
all those ridiculous
Sasquatch conventions?

420
00:18:13,628 --> 00:18:15,462
Surely my education
was more important

421
00:18:15,530 --> 00:18:17,331
than swapping
conspiracy theories?

422
00:18:18,733 --> 00:18:20,768
(OMINOUS GROWL IN DISTANCE)

423
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:24,438
You don't know what's out there.
And neither do you.

424
00:18:24,706 --> 00:18:26,106
(CHUCKLES)

425
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,542
JEFF: Oi, oi!
Yeah.

426
00:18:27,942 --> 00:18:29,309
Brilliant. Jeff's here.

427
00:18:32,814 --> 00:18:35,516
What are you doing here, Jeff?
What are you two doing in there?

428
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,819
All right, come on.
I'm not stopping long.

429
00:18:37,885 --> 00:18:39,186
Got you something.

430
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,757
God, that fridge stinks.

431
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:46,694
(SCOFFS)

432
00:18:48,796 --> 00:18:50,197
Mm, all right?

433
00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:52,432
Very good, are you?
Fine, what you been doing?

434
00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:54,769
Is that bird poo on your jumper?
Bird poo?

435
00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:59,040
No, Father, this is, uh,
Pierre Jean Leclerc. Very posh.

436
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,240
Will I get you one
for Christmas?

437
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:01,643
No, no, I'm good, son.

438
00:19:01,776 --> 00:19:03,111
He's fine.
What's this?

439
00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:07,447
Oh, yeah, I, um, I got Dylan
some new clothes for his school.

440
00:19:12,687 --> 00:19:14,055
That's really nice.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, it's 'cause

441
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,791
the, uh, the designer of that
sold out her entire collection

442
00:19:16,858 --> 00:19:18,325
in three hours.

443
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,460
So, I pulled some strings,
and here we are.

444
00:19:20,528 --> 00:19:23,196
What, you had to pull strings
to get a kid some clothes?

445
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,900
I don't know which one
of the two of you are crazier.

446
00:19:25,967 --> 00:19:27,935
You never bought me anything

447
00:19:28,102 --> 00:19:29,436
that would help me fit in
in my school.

448
00:19:29,537 --> 00:19:30,538
No, it wasn't your wardrobe

449
00:19:30,638 --> 00:19:32,239
stopped you fitting in
at school, son.

450
00:19:32,507 --> 00:19:33,908
It was your bowl haircut.

451
00:19:34,008 --> 00:19:35,375
(ALL LAUGHING)

452
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,578
I mean, you cut my hair
back then, so--

453
00:19:37,645 --> 00:19:39,147
It's brilliant. Thanks.
Jeff, you did look like

454
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,815
a massive mushroom back then,
you really did.

455
00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:42,750
You did. I'm glad I stopped by.
This has been fab.

456
00:19:43,051 --> 00:19:45,352
Right, I would love to chat
to you lesbians about fashion,

457
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:49,691
but I have a hot yoga retreat
in the Cotswolds to attend,

458
00:19:49,757 --> 00:19:51,559
so, um, see you later.

459
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,531
All right, mate. See you later.
See you later, mate.

460
00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:00,601
All right, babes. You okay?

461
00:20:02,537 --> 00:20:03,538
Let's go.

462
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:06,339
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

463
00:20:07,108 --> 00:20:08,643
See ya.

464
00:20:10,745 --> 00:20:11,679
Okay.

465
00:20:20,188 --> 00:20:21,522
Are you speaking to me?

466
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:26,928
I don't see anybody else
in the room.

467
00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:27,895
Are you talking...

468
00:20:28,196 --> 00:20:29,697
are you talking about me
behind me back and that?

469
00:20:30,631 --> 00:20:32,567
'Cause I don't--
You must be if you're not--

470
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:36,037
SARAH: Babe? I'm not really
sure about that school.

471
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,706
None of the kids played
or laughed.

472
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:40,174
Didn't really feel
like children.

473
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,676
D'you know what I mean?
BRIAN: No, not really.

474
00:20:41,776 --> 00:20:43,310
The school's
bloody perfect, bubba.

475
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:44,679
SARAH: Okay.
Can you come here please?

476
00:20:44,746 --> 00:20:47,280
I need your help.
I need to find the right look.

477
00:20:47,882 --> 00:20:48,983
I'm looking to be like a cross

478
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:51,052
between intimidating
and confident.

479
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,553
Okay. Why do you need
to be intimidating?

480
00:20:52,687 --> 00:20:54,188
(SCOFFS) I need
to make Alan nervous, don't I?

481
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,590
So he can spill the beans
on his strategy.

482
00:20:55,656 --> 00:20:58,192
Okay, well, that's definitely
not intimidating.

483
00:20:58,291 --> 00:20:59,392
BRIAN: At all?
At all.

484
00:20:59,894 --> 00:21:01,495
Why though?
Give me a good reason.
SARAH: No. No, it's not sexy.

485
00:21:01,495 --> 00:21:02,730
It's clown-like.
BRIAN: White on blue.

486
00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:04,297
Don't like it.
Please take it off.
BRIAN: Oh.

487
00:21:04,599 --> 00:21:05,733
SARAH: Doesn't work, babe.

488
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:07,835
I don't like it.
Why?

489
00:21:08,169 --> 00:21:11,038
(INHALES) Anyway, trust me,
Alan's not as crazy as you.

490
00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:12,305
He's not gonna have a strategy.

491
00:21:12,573 --> 00:21:14,441
I know they have a strategy.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

492
00:21:14,509 --> 00:21:17,477
I just have to figure out
what it is. (EXHALES)

493
00:21:18,579 --> 00:21:20,347
LAUREN: You've officially
lost your mind.

494
00:21:20,548 --> 00:21:22,984
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

495
00:21:26,654 --> 00:21:28,790
(INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES)

496
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,377
(ENGINE SHUTS OFF)

497
00:21:50,745 --> 00:21:52,445
(KEYS JANGLING)
(CAR DOOR OPENING)

498
00:22:00,087 --> 00:22:03,925
Baby, I think this is the house
out of your poster.

499
00:22:04,158 --> 00:22:06,994
I don't believe it. This man
is living my dream life.

500
00:22:08,229 --> 00:22:09,630
No, look,
it's completely different

501
00:22:09,697 --> 00:22:10,698
'cause my picture doesn't have

502
00:22:10,765 --> 00:22:12,567
that weird statue in it,
does it?

503
00:22:14,401 --> 00:22:16,304
What is it? Oh, looks like--

504
00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:18,606
Is that giant gnome hol--
Is it holding a baby?

505
00:22:18,673 --> 00:22:20,508
I don't think that's a baby.
It looks like a baby.

506
00:22:20,741 --> 00:22:22,310
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)
It's very creepy, though.

507
00:22:22,409 --> 00:22:24,444
Let's go before it curses us.
Come on.

508
00:22:29,917 --> 00:22:30,785
Hello!
SARAH: Hi.

509
00:22:30,852 --> 00:22:32,320
Welcome. (CHUCKLES)
SARAH: Thanks.

510
00:22:32,385 --> 00:22:33,554
Come in.
Oh, thank you.

511
00:22:33,888 --> 00:22:36,324
So glad you guys could make it.
Oh, wow. This place is amazing.

512
00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:37,892
Make yourself at home.

513
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:41,629
Can I take your coats?
Oh, thanks. Yeah. Hmm.

514
00:22:42,296 --> 00:22:44,599
Oh, sorry.
Oh!

515
00:22:45,666 --> 00:22:46,934
(GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMING)
SARAH: Oh.

516
00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:47,969
Oh.
SARAH: Hey.

517
00:22:48,435 --> 00:22:50,171
Oh, thank, uh, thanks.
Thank you.

518
00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:52,006
Can I get you some wine?
Red or white?

519
00:22:52,439 --> 00:22:54,542
Ei... Either. Um--
Oh, So... sorry.

520
00:22:54,709 --> 00:22:56,744
Red if you have it.
Roze!

521
00:22:57,278 --> 00:22:59,379
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

522
00:23:00,214 --> 00:23:01,381
I have a special little bottle

523
00:23:01,448 --> 00:23:02,583
tucked aside
for a night like this.

524
00:23:02,683 --> 00:23:04,218
Would you be a dear
and grab the wine?

525
00:23:04,285 --> 00:23:05,418
Of course, Ms. Lauren.

526
00:23:05,519 --> 00:23:07,387
Come!
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

527
00:23:11,225 --> 00:23:12,860
Ah. (EXHALES)

528
00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:15,529
Oh. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
This is our angel, Grace.

529
00:23:15,630 --> 00:23:19,700
I hope you enjoy custard tarts.
I made them this afternoon.

530
00:23:19,834 --> 00:23:21,869
Hey, nice to meet you.
I love custard tarts.

531
00:23:21,936 --> 00:23:23,704
Thank you so much.
Thank you, cheers.

532
00:23:23,771 --> 00:23:24,672
Thank you.

533
00:23:25,339 --> 00:23:26,274
Oh!
Oh.

534
00:23:26,641 --> 00:23:28,209
Oh, my God.
SARAH: Oh! (LAUGHS)

535
00:23:28,376 --> 00:23:30,945
LAUREN: Getting so good at that.
You make mummy want to do one.

536
00:23:31,245 --> 00:23:32,479
ROZE: Would you like some wine?

537
00:23:32,713 --> 00:23:34,248
Thank you.
Sure. Thank you.

538
00:23:34,348 --> 00:23:35,783
Cheers. Thank you.
Thanks.

539
00:23:36,284 --> 00:23:37,184
Mmm!

540
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,289
Ooh!
Very, um, uh, balanced.

541
00:23:41,789 --> 00:23:43,391
Full bodied.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

542
00:23:43,758 --> 00:23:45,226
Care for a tour?
Oh.

543
00:23:45,293 --> 00:23:46,761
Alan will be down in a minute.

544
00:23:46,827 --> 00:23:48,162
Let's go.
See you in a bit.

545
00:23:48,229 --> 00:23:49,263
BRIAN: See you in a bit.

546
00:23:49,664 --> 00:23:53,000
Oh, don't mind the ghosts.
Yeah.

547
00:23:56,804 --> 00:24:01,208
(LAUREN AND SARAH CHATTER
IN DISTANCE)

548
00:24:06,213 --> 00:24:07,848
That is... that is so good.

549
00:24:08,516 --> 00:24:09,984
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

550
00:24:10,084 --> 00:24:12,820
ALAN: Brian!
Oh, Alan!

551
00:24:13,087 --> 00:24:14,422
Welcome to my humble abode.

552
00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:16,590
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)

553
00:24:17,224 --> 00:24:18,259
Oh.

554
00:24:18,793 --> 00:24:20,227
You got a little
something on your...

555
00:24:21,095 --> 00:24:22,063
Hmm.

556
00:24:28,636 --> 00:24:30,137
It's one of Grace's tarts.

557
00:24:31,272 --> 00:24:34,474
Yeah. Delicious, right?
Mm! So good.

558
00:24:34,608 --> 00:24:35,643
ALAN: Yeah.

559
00:24:35,843 --> 00:24:37,445
Oh, I got you
a little something here.

560
00:24:37,511 --> 00:24:39,146
I'm a bit of
a Dewar's collector.

561
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:43,551
Yeah. It's a ridiculously
expensive pastime, but it's nice

562
00:24:43,617 --> 00:24:45,386
to enjoy the finer things
with new friends.

563
00:24:45,686 --> 00:24:46,954
Cheers.
ALAN: Cheers.

564
00:24:49,790 --> 00:24:51,859
That's one way to enjoy it.
Ah!

565
00:24:53,728 --> 00:24:54,662
Oh!

566
00:24:55,563 --> 00:24:56,998
ALAN: It's, uh--
(EXHALES SHARPLY) That's...

567
00:24:57,732 --> 00:24:58,899
whiskey, isn't it?
ALAN: Yeah.

568
00:24:59,133 --> 00:25:01,435
It's, uh, it's actually one
of my favorite sipping whiskeys.

569
00:25:01,502 --> 00:25:03,571
(EXHALES SHARPLY, COUGHS)

570
00:25:04,505 --> 00:25:05,806
Ooh, yeah.

571
00:25:07,742 --> 00:25:08,943
Ah!

572
00:25:10,745 --> 00:25:12,947
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
So, how are things?

573
00:25:13,647 --> 00:25:16,817
I can't complain. You?
Good. Very good, actually.

574
00:25:17,485 --> 00:25:19,887
Good. I'm good... I'm good also.

575
00:25:20,454 --> 00:25:21,822
That's good.
BRIAN: Mm-hmm.

576
00:25:23,858 --> 00:25:25,092
(ALAN SIGHS)

577
00:25:34,135 --> 00:25:35,504
Crack on?
Yeah.

578
00:25:35,636 --> 00:25:36,537
Yeah. All right.

579
00:25:36,737 --> 00:25:38,239
SARAH: <i>How did you</i>
<i>and Alan meet?</i>

580
00:25:38,339 --> 00:25:39,573
Car crash.
Oh!

581
00:25:39,774 --> 00:25:41,542
Alan was in town
meeting with investors.

582
00:25:41,642 --> 00:25:43,711
He pulled
out of his parking spot

583
00:25:43,778 --> 00:25:45,946
and drove on the wrong side
of the road.

584
00:25:46,347 --> 00:25:50,718
I hit my brakes, and he--
Well, we bumped fenders.

585
00:25:51,052 --> 00:25:54,555
He was so apologetic
and so cute. (CHUCKLES)

586
00:25:54,755 --> 00:25:55,923
A week later,
we moved in together

587
00:25:55,990 --> 00:25:57,224
and he started his company here.

588
00:25:57,391 --> 00:25:59,794
Huh! Well, he was obviously
very successful. (CHUCKLES)

589
00:25:59,894 --> 00:26:02,096
Mmm, that one failed miserably.

590
00:26:02,496 --> 00:26:04,365
Oh.
How did you meet Brian?

591
00:26:04,498 --> 00:26:05,733
Panic attack.
Oh?

592
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,868
His, not mine. (CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS)

593
00:26:07,935 --> 00:26:10,337
Uh, yeah, back when he was doing
odd jobs as a handyman,

594
00:26:10,438 --> 00:26:13,107
he was hired to do some repairs
at the work that I was at then,

595
00:26:13,174 --> 00:26:15,876
and, um, well, he walked
straight into a spider's web

596
00:26:15,943 --> 00:26:17,678
and I've never heard
a man shriek so loud.

597
00:26:17,745 --> 00:26:18,679
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah.

598
00:26:18,746 --> 00:26:20,848
And I had to talk him down.

599
00:26:20,948 --> 00:26:23,818
And then yeah, I mean, I guess
it's just been love ever since.

600
00:26:24,018 --> 00:26:26,454
Super sexy.
So, he has arachnophobia?

601
00:26:27,188 --> 00:26:30,091
More like a fear of all bugs.
Oh! Never heard of that one.

602
00:26:31,225 --> 00:26:32,159
So, I gotta admit,

603
00:26:32,259 --> 00:26:34,328
I did a little reading
about your company.

604
00:26:34,762 --> 00:26:36,030
I guess I've not done
my homework, then.

605
00:26:36,097 --> 00:26:37,532
Yeah, I think
it's very admirable

606
00:26:37,598 --> 00:26:39,133
how you went
from working construction

607
00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:42,002
to risking it all by building
that giant apartment complex.

608
00:26:42,103 --> 00:26:44,171
Uh, nothing ventured,
nothing gained, Alan.

609
00:26:44,238 --> 00:26:45,172
Hey,

610
00:26:45,439 --> 00:26:47,441
to fortune favoring the bold.
Yeah.

611
00:26:47,542 --> 00:26:48,742
Right?
Oh, yeah.

612
00:26:48,809 --> 00:26:50,177
There you go.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

613
00:26:50,678 --> 00:26:53,280
Mr. Williams, dinner
will be ready in ten minutes.

614
00:26:53,347 --> 00:26:55,149
ALAN: Okay. Thank you, Roze.

615
00:26:56,117 --> 00:26:58,752
(FIREPLACE CRACKLING)

616
00:26:59,887 --> 00:27:01,222
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

617
00:27:02,591 --> 00:27:04,091
Almost forgot that was there.

618
00:27:08,996 --> 00:27:11,699
So young and so
many accolades, right?

619
00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:14,503
GRACE: Daddy?
(GASPS)

620
00:27:14,603 --> 00:27:19,106
Can I show him my new routine?
Of course you can, sweetheart.

621
00:27:19,807 --> 00:27:21,308
What a wonderful idea.

622
00:27:22,544 --> 00:27:24,979
Routine?
Come on.

623
00:27:26,847 --> 00:27:29,917
(WIND TUNNEL WHIRRING)

624
00:27:31,785 --> 00:27:34,488
So, back to the subject
of our ventures, Brian.

625
00:27:34,889 --> 00:27:36,090
Now, I... I realize

626
00:27:36,190 --> 00:27:37,992
there's been a lot of time
and effort on your part

627
00:27:38,058 --> 00:27:39,960
with this whole
preschool affair.

628
00:27:40,227 --> 00:27:42,730
I'd like to offer you
an opportunity.

629
00:27:42,997 --> 00:27:44,732
Yeah, what kind of opportunity?

630
00:27:45,567 --> 00:27:47,434
Well, the kind
with a lot of zeros.

631
00:27:49,904 --> 00:27:52,339
Are you putting a price tag
on my child's future?

632
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,209
You Americans! You think
you can just write a check

633
00:27:55,276 --> 00:27:56,911
to get everybody
to do what you want?

634
00:27:57,011 --> 00:27:58,879
I should storm
out of here right now!

635
00:27:58,979 --> 00:28:00,515
GRACE: Daddy?
Ooh. Wow.

636
00:28:00,582 --> 00:28:01,882
Yeah, that's a... that's a...
GRACE: Daddy?

637
00:28:01,949 --> 00:28:03,217
That's a big
opportunity, isn't it?

638
00:28:03,284 --> 00:28:05,520
Look, I... I feel
you could use the money

639
00:28:05,786 --> 00:28:08,155
to find another option,
another path, for Dylan.

640
00:28:08,722 --> 00:28:11,091
The Puggsley path
is the only path we want.

641
00:28:11,992 --> 00:28:14,128
I didn't wait this long
to have a kid to not have him go

642
00:28:14,195 --> 00:28:15,829
to the best preschool
in town, Alan.

643
00:28:15,896 --> 00:28:16,897
Yeah, well, me neither.

644
00:28:17,331 --> 00:28:19,934
Dylan will excel at Puggsley,
and every school thereafter.

645
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,468
This is his opportunity.

646
00:28:21,570 --> 00:28:23,404
I won't let any amount
of money stop that.

647
00:28:23,737 --> 00:28:25,005
Well, I guess,

648
00:28:25,773 --> 00:28:27,808
Grace is gonna have to beat
your son legitimately

649
00:28:27,875 --> 00:28:28,776
for that spot, then.

650
00:28:29,076 --> 00:28:32,012
Yeah, she will.
Mr. Williams, dinner's ready.

651
00:28:32,112 --> 00:28:33,080
Okay.

652
00:28:40,854 --> 00:28:42,189
You're just
gonna leave her in there?

653
00:28:42,756 --> 00:28:45,993
("LIBIAMO NE'LIETI CALICI"
PLAYING)

654
00:28:52,132 --> 00:28:53,934
The meal
was spectacular, Matteo.

655
00:28:54,001 --> 00:28:55,570
Can't wait to see
what comes out next.

656
00:28:55,637 --> 00:28:56,671
Next?

657
00:28:57,037 --> 00:28:59,240
Matteo has a five-course
Italian meal planned.

658
00:28:59,340 --> 00:29:01,643
That way, we can sample
a few great little dishes.

659
00:29:01,710 --> 00:29:02,810
Wow. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

660
00:29:03,344 --> 00:29:05,714
ALAN: I'm opening a restaurant
this Friday in town.

661
00:29:05,813 --> 00:29:08,315
Yeah, so Matteo and I
are ironing out the details

662
00:29:08,382 --> 00:29:10,217
so that we can take it
to the printer tomorrow

663
00:29:10,284 --> 00:29:11,620
to lock everything in.

664
00:29:11,785 --> 00:29:13,988
Alan and I met Matteo
in Tuscany while on holiday,

665
00:29:14,255 --> 00:29:17,791
and Alan asked him to come back
and work for him.

666
00:29:17,925 --> 00:29:19,793
Right. You're testing
the menu out on us!

667
00:29:19,893 --> 00:29:21,563
Feel so special, right, Brian?

668
00:29:21,663 --> 00:29:22,697
Pass the wine, please, bub.

669
00:29:23,030 --> 00:29:24,898
Pass me the vino!
Yeah.

670
00:29:27,001 --> 00:29:29,470
LAUREN: We really are
so excited about the opening.

671
00:29:29,738 --> 00:29:32,006
Alan has
a very ambitious vision,

672
00:29:32,072 --> 00:29:33,140
and there's a lot riding on it.

673
00:29:33,207 --> 00:29:35,209
So, I've pulled in
a few big fish.

674
00:29:35,276 --> 00:29:37,878
Yes, she has.
Taste makers, influencers,

675
00:29:38,145 --> 00:29:40,914
food critics.
And... and Alan has,

676
00:29:41,148 --> 00:29:42,617
uh, negotiated
with the local radio station

677
00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:45,553
to give away a dozen
free tickets to the listeners.

678
00:29:45,687 --> 00:29:47,288
ALAN: Mm-hmm.
Oh, right.

679
00:29:47,454 --> 00:29:48,789
Which station?

680
00:29:49,390 --> 00:29:50,491
Uh, K-DISCO.

681
00:29:50,659 --> 00:29:52,627
Oh, that's Brian's brother
Jeff's station.

682
00:29:52,826 --> 00:29:54,461
What?
SARAH: Right, Brian?

683
00:29:54,562 --> 00:29:55,664
ALAN: Wait, wait, wait.

684
00:29:56,130 --> 00:29:58,899
Jeff Young is your brother?
Mad, innit?

685
00:29:58,966 --> 00:30:00,434
I never would have
made that connection.

686
00:30:00,501 --> 00:30:03,404
He's... he's such a great guy.
And so chic.

687
00:30:04,071 --> 00:30:06,840
So successful. So classy.

688
00:30:08,309 --> 00:30:09,243
God!

689
00:30:09,711 --> 00:30:10,978
I couldn't help
but notice the, uh,

690
00:30:11,045 --> 00:30:12,514
the sailboat
over the mantelpiece.

691
00:30:12,614 --> 00:30:15,082
Oh, she's a beaut, isn't she?
Yeah, really pretty.

692
00:30:15,215 --> 00:30:16,150
(BURPS)

693
00:30:17,117 --> 00:30:19,119
Alan had to sell
the real one years ago.

694
00:30:19,253 --> 00:30:21,922
No more expeditions
into the Antarctic for me.

695
00:30:21,989 --> 00:30:23,625
SARAH: Thank you.
ALAN: Now that I'm a father,

696
00:30:23,991 --> 00:30:24,992
it's too dangerous.

697
00:30:25,125 --> 00:30:26,994
What is that?
ALAN: But I do miss sailing.

698
00:30:27,061 --> 00:30:28,697
All that power,
slicing through the water,

699
00:30:28,763 --> 00:30:30,097
struggling to man the haul.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.

700
00:30:30,164 --> 00:30:31,899
That means
steering the boat, Brian.

701
00:30:31,965 --> 00:30:33,233
Yeah, I know, Alan, I know,

702
00:30:33,300 --> 00:30:34,835
'cause I'm really familiar
with nautical terms.

703
00:30:34,902 --> 00:30:37,271
I'm an avid sailor meself.
Oh.

704
00:30:37,338 --> 00:30:38,707
Really? I didn't know that.
BRIAN: Yeah.

705
00:30:38,972 --> 00:30:40,240
Yeah, well, it's true.

706
00:30:40,809 --> 00:30:42,209
We go out all the time,
my brother and I.

707
00:30:42,276 --> 00:30:43,977
We actually own a boat together.
Don't we, babe?

708
00:30:44,546 --> 00:30:45,312
Yeah.

709
00:30:45,780 --> 00:30:47,181
It's a shame that you're doing
the printer thing tomorrow,

710
00:30:47,348 --> 00:30:49,950
else I'd have you come out
with us, but you can't, can ya?

711
00:30:50,117 --> 00:30:52,520
Oh!
ALAN: Well, now, hold on.

712
00:30:53,755 --> 00:30:56,023
(CALLBACK TONE RINGING)

713
00:30:56,190 --> 00:30:59,126
Carolyn, uh, it's Alan.
Uh, would you be a dear

714
00:30:59,193 --> 00:31:03,230
and push up my 4:00 pm
to 10:00 am tomorrow morning?

715
00:31:05,132 --> 00:31:07,368
Good news. I'm free.
(LAUGHS) That's great!

716
00:31:07,468 --> 00:31:09,604
What? You're free tomorrow now?
ALAN: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

717
00:31:09,738 --> 00:31:11,706
Oh, yeah!
ALAN: Oh.

718
00:31:11,939 --> 00:31:13,508
Oh, I cannot wait.
LAUREN: Hmm.

719
00:31:14,274 --> 00:31:15,042
(SIGHS DEEPLY)

720
00:31:15,142 --> 00:31:16,544
LAUREN: Oh, I know
just what to wear.

721
00:31:17,211 --> 00:31:18,513
LAUREN: After you, please.

722
00:31:18,580 --> 00:31:19,446
BRIAN: Thank you.
Thank you.

723
00:31:19,581 --> 00:31:22,049
LAUREN: Oh, what a thrill.
It's just been lovely.

724
00:31:22,383 --> 00:31:23,250
Really lovely.

725
00:31:23,317 --> 00:31:25,018
Thank you just so much
for having us.

726
00:31:25,085 --> 00:31:26,588
Like, it's not often
we get to feast

727
00:31:26,654 --> 00:31:28,355
like kings, so.
(CHUCKLES)

728
00:31:28,455 --> 00:31:29,256
Well, word has it

729
00:31:29,657 --> 00:31:31,959
that this used to be the old
stomping grounds of Henry VIII.

730
00:31:32,025 --> 00:31:32,926
Yeah.
Really?

731
00:31:32,993 --> 00:31:34,428
Yeah.
Wow.

732
00:31:34,796 --> 00:31:36,063
If these walls could talk,

733
00:31:36,130 --> 00:31:38,633
every single corner of this
place has a story to tell.

734
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:39,768
Hmm.
SARAH: Huh.

735
00:31:39,834 --> 00:31:41,603
Yeah.
Well, what's his story, then?

736
00:31:41,669 --> 00:31:44,071
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

737
00:31:44,706 --> 00:31:45,673
Oh, it's--
Oh, well,

738
00:31:45,740 --> 00:31:47,074
now, that statue
is very special.

739
00:31:47,174 --> 00:31:49,443
It's said to have been
sculpted by Michelangelo.

740
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:54,281
SARAH: Oh.

741
00:31:54,849 --> 00:31:56,917
One of his much later works,
of course...

742
00:31:58,185 --> 00:31:59,486
but still very impressive.

743
00:31:59,621 --> 00:32:02,624
By then, he would have been
pretty much losing his eyesight,

744
00:32:02,690 --> 00:32:06,093
and had gout, and kidney stones.
Honey, I think they probably--

745
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:07,227
Possibly even losing
his hearing.

746
00:32:07,461 --> 00:32:09,163
But if you really, really
want to know the full story,

747
00:32:09,229 --> 00:32:12,399
my... my 16 times
great-grandfather

748
00:32:12,667 --> 00:32:13,934
settled on this land

749
00:32:14,234 --> 00:32:17,004
and he built this manor
for his wife

750
00:32:17,070 --> 00:32:19,774
and that he commissioned
that statue

751
00:32:20,441 --> 00:32:23,110
to symbolize their everlasting
commitment to each other.

752
00:32:23,545 --> 00:32:26,180
And now it reflects Alan's
and my love to one another,

753
00:32:26,246 --> 00:32:28,048
doesn't it, sweetheart?
Yeah.

754
00:32:28,282 --> 00:32:29,818
BRIAN: Right. So sorry, Lauren.

755
00:32:29,918 --> 00:32:33,253
Um, this is actually
your place then, is it?

756
00:32:33,387 --> 00:32:35,857
Oh, well, what's mine
is his now, of course.
Hmm.

757
00:32:35,956 --> 00:32:37,291
But Alan's really been
working his way up

758
00:32:37,424 --> 00:32:39,594
in the family business and Papa
couldn't be more impressed.

759
00:32:39,727 --> 00:32:40,695
I am sure.

760
00:32:40,961 --> 00:32:42,564
But really, it's not--
D'ya know what, um, we...

761
00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:44,231
we really have to go.

762
00:32:44,364 --> 00:32:46,200
Thank you so much
for a lovely evening.
ALAN: Yeah, yeah...

763
00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:47,669
Well-- (CHUCKLES)
Thank you for the meal.

764
00:32:47,769 --> 00:32:48,870
We'll see ya.
Yeah.

765
00:32:48,937 --> 00:32:50,370
LAUREN: It's our pleasure.
SARAH: Thank you.

766
00:32:50,437 --> 00:32:51,806
And we should make
a habit of this.

767
00:32:51,873 --> 00:32:52,941
Yeah.
We would love to, wouldn't we?

768
00:32:53,006 --> 00:32:53,908
Good.
BRIAN: We would.

769
00:32:53,974 --> 00:32:54,909
Yeah.
Safe home, then!

770
00:32:55,008 --> 00:32:56,009
Thank you. Cheers.
SARAH: Thank you.

771
00:32:56,076 --> 00:32:57,277
Ciao!
BRIAN: Safe home to you.

772
00:32:57,344 --> 00:32:59,146
All right, stop it.
Ciao.

773
00:32:59,814 --> 00:33:01,883
I knew... I knew it. I knew it.

774
00:33:01,950 --> 00:33:03,718
Of course he married
into the money, babe.

775
00:33:03,818 --> 00:33:06,821
What? I do not get why this is
such a big revelation for you.

776
00:33:06,888 --> 00:33:08,121
Are you kidding me?

777
00:33:08,455 --> 00:33:10,825
Bub, he was... he was so smug,

778
00:33:10,892 --> 00:33:12,560
walking around
like king of the castle,

779
00:33:12,660 --> 00:33:15,763
and then we find out, bang,
it's not even his money, babe!

780
00:33:15,830 --> 00:33:17,231
(SHUSHES)

781
00:33:17,565 --> 00:33:20,067
You know Jeff is not gonna
let you take his boat out.

782
00:33:20,501 --> 00:33:22,904
Uh, yeah, he will. Jeff owes me.
What does he owe you for?

783
00:33:23,036 --> 00:33:24,204
His life.
What?

784
00:33:24,304 --> 00:33:26,139
I took all the flack
while he reaps the rewards.

785
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:27,274
Besides, I don't need Jeff.

786
00:33:27,341 --> 00:33:28,610
I'm a...
I'm a really good sailor.

787
00:33:28,776 --> 00:33:30,712
Jeff is a great sailor. You
are barely passable, my love.

788
00:33:30,778 --> 00:33:33,046
Hold on. But you don't know
that, do you, for sure?

789
00:33:33,113 --> 00:33:34,816
You've been listening
to me dad, haven't ya?

790
00:33:34,883 --> 00:33:35,950
He's always badmouthing me.

791
00:33:36,049 --> 00:33:37,084
What? Oh, God.
Doesn't matter, babe.

792
00:33:37,484 --> 00:33:39,152
I love you. You're so beautiful.
I love you. I love you, baby.

793
00:33:39,219 --> 00:33:40,622
I love you.
I'm a really good sailor.

794
00:33:40,688 --> 00:33:41,856
Baby, give me the keys.

795
00:33:42,824 --> 00:33:45,192
I'm gonna drive, okay?
'Cause you're too drunk. Right.

796
00:33:46,193 --> 00:33:48,195
And anyway,
Alan's going to be with us.

797
00:33:48,262 --> 00:33:51,799
Alan's not driving my boat.
Jeff's boat. Our boat.

798
00:33:52,934 --> 00:33:54,301
What?
I'm the main driver.

799
00:33:54,536 --> 00:33:56,504
SARAH: Yeah, well,
you are the main driver.

800
00:33:56,671 --> 00:33:58,272
He can help out with things.

801
00:33:58,338 --> 00:34:01,976
He can talk about knots
and that. He can do...

802
00:34:02,175 --> 00:34:06,213
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

803
00:34:06,614 --> 00:34:08,348
(ENGINE REVVING)

804
00:34:22,864 --> 00:34:24,364
(DOOR CLOSING)

805
00:34:27,434 --> 00:34:28,368
Ooh!

806
00:34:31,471 --> 00:34:33,741
Isn't it nice to connect
to other parents?

807
00:34:35,442 --> 00:34:36,778
Makes this whole
preschool madness

808
00:34:36,844 --> 00:34:39,681
seem almost worth it. (SIGHS)

809
00:34:40,113 --> 00:34:41,448
Yeah, I just-- I kind of wish

810
00:34:41,549 --> 00:34:43,383
you hadn't mentioned
all this stuff about our...

811
00:34:44,318 --> 00:34:46,621
family history, you know?
Hmm?

812
00:34:47,889 --> 00:34:49,057
We barely know those people.

813
00:34:49,122 --> 00:34:51,826
Oh, please.
What is there to hide?

814
00:34:52,426 --> 00:34:54,461
We have a beautiful life.

815
00:34:55,663 --> 00:34:58,231
I love that story
about my grandparents' statue.

816
00:34:58,498 --> 00:35:00,434
Mmm. Mm-hmm.

817
00:35:01,134 --> 00:35:04,137
(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

818
00:35:08,009 --> 00:35:09,677
Brian?
Oh.

819
00:35:10,645 --> 00:35:11,946
SARAH: My love.
Yeah?

820
00:35:12,046 --> 00:35:13,982
Let me get this straight.
You've, um,

821
00:35:14,082 --> 00:35:16,684
you've hired
an out-of-work screenwriter

822
00:35:17,351 --> 00:35:20,253
to write about Dylan?
Yeah, that's right.

823
00:35:20,354 --> 00:35:22,690
Um, he's in between projects
right now,

824
00:35:22,757 --> 00:35:23,457
writing movie trailers.

825
00:35:23,725 --> 00:35:24,926
So, we're actually
really lucky to get him.

826
00:35:24,993 --> 00:35:26,426
So, why won't you let me do it?

827
00:35:27,294 --> 00:35:28,796
Babe.
Babe.

828
00:35:28,863 --> 00:35:30,932
This guy's wrote
three of my favorite movies.

829
00:35:31,298 --> 00:35:33,635
<i>Kill Me Twice, A Hail Of Bullets</i>
and <i>A Cold Day In Hell.</i>

830
00:35:33,701 --> 00:35:35,036
All classics.

831
00:35:35,335 --> 00:35:37,071
Oh, God,
I'm so excited to meet him.

832
00:35:37,705 --> 00:35:39,206
He's gonna make Dylan
look like a badass.

833
00:35:39,272 --> 00:35:40,608
He really, really is.

834
00:35:42,275 --> 00:35:44,879
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Oh, God, he's here.

835
00:35:47,015 --> 00:35:48,148
What are you waiting for?

836
00:35:48,215 --> 00:35:49,383
I don't want to seem
desperate.

837
00:35:49,449 --> 00:35:51,552
My love, that ship sailed
a long time ago.

838
00:35:53,921 --> 00:35:55,355
(EXHALES SHARPLY)

839
00:36:01,095 --> 00:36:04,264
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

840
00:36:05,099 --> 00:36:09,169
Chase Stevens.
Oh, God. Incredible.

841
00:36:12,305 --> 00:36:13,908
I've come across
one of your films.

842
00:36:14,042 --> 00:36:15,777
Um,
forgot what it's called, though.

843
00:36:17,812 --> 00:36:19,113
Yeah, great.

844
00:36:19,747 --> 00:36:21,916
With... with a con man
who fakes his own death

845
00:36:21,983 --> 00:36:23,216
to get the mobsters
off his back--

846
00:36:23,316 --> 00:36:25,019
It's so good. It really is.

847
00:36:25,419 --> 00:36:26,821
Yeah, I know. I wrote it.

848
00:36:28,422 --> 00:36:30,725
This is all-cash, yeah?
Yeah.

849
00:36:37,197 --> 00:36:38,800
(EXHALES HEAVILY)

850
00:36:42,469 --> 00:36:43,771
(KNOCKING AT THE DOOR)

851
00:36:47,842 --> 00:36:49,844
(WHISPERS) Hiya, Chase. Chase!

852
00:36:51,012 --> 00:36:52,580
Sorry, mate,
I... I couldn't help myself.

853
00:36:52,814 --> 00:36:54,347
I know it hasn't been long.
But I just--

854
00:36:54,448 --> 00:36:56,349
I had to see
what you've come up with so far.

855
00:36:56,450 --> 00:36:58,152
You said the deadline
was five o'clock.

856
00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,988
Yeah.
No. It's all right. (SIGHS)

857
00:37:01,055 --> 00:37:02,389
Let's do it now.

858
00:37:03,024 --> 00:37:05,392
Yeah
(PRINTER WHIRRING)

859
00:37:10,164 --> 00:37:11,331
"To the esteemed members

860
00:37:11,532 --> 00:37:13,233
of the Puggsley Academy
of Excellence,

861
00:37:13,333 --> 00:37:16,003
Admissions Committee.
(CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFS)

862
00:37:16,971 --> 00:37:17,972
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

863
00:37:18,072 --> 00:37:19,239
(IN MOVIE TRAILER VOICE)
In a world

864
00:37:19,439 --> 00:37:22,275
where mediocrity
is the norm amongst children,

865
00:37:22,577 --> 00:37:25,880
one boy will rise up
and prove himself worthy

866
00:37:26,013 --> 00:37:28,448
of the best the world
has to offer.

867
00:37:29,150 --> 00:37:32,486
Strength and endurance,
artistic prowess,

868
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:36,289
and intellectual capacity,
revered by all of those

869
00:37:36,356 --> 00:37:39,493
who encounter
his magnificent presence.

870
00:37:39,594 --> 00:37:41,829
Women yearn
for the man he'll become.

871
00:37:41,963 --> 00:37:44,464
(MUFFLED) Whilst our enemies
preemptively tremble.
(SCOFFS)

872
00:37:44,732 --> 00:37:47,568
<i>But this boy's greatness</i>
<i>must be cultivated,</i>

873
00:37:47,935 --> 00:37:51,404
<i>nurtured, capacitated, guided.</i>

874
00:37:51,572 --> 00:37:53,941
<i>All of which will be given</i>
<i>to him by the people who are...</i>

875
00:37:54,008 --> 00:37:55,676
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
SARAH: <i>Dylan has strong interest</i>

876
00:37:55,743 --> 00:37:57,779
<i>in learning about the world</i>
<i>around him.</i>

877
00:37:58,513 --> 00:38:01,582
<i>He is warm, empathetic,</i>
<i>and a natural friend to others.</i>

878
00:38:01,649 --> 00:38:03,450
(EPIC MUSIC PLAYING)
CHASE: <i>The boy must be trained,</i>

879
00:38:03,751 --> 00:38:06,888
<i>nurtured, so that</i>
<i>he can rule the country</i>

880
00:38:06,954 --> 00:38:12,392
and one day usher us all
into a brave, new world!

881
00:38:13,528 --> 00:38:15,596
Huh?
What do you think about that?

882
00:38:16,864 --> 00:38:20,768
Um, yeah, it's-- I like it.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

883
00:38:20,835 --> 00:38:23,336
SARAH: <i>"We believe that</i>
<i>Puggsley Academy of Excellence</i>

884
00:38:23,403 --> 00:38:24,605
<i>would offer Dylan the nurturing</i>

885
00:38:24,672 --> 00:38:26,274
<i>and challenging environment</i>
<i>he needs...</i>

886
00:38:26,339 --> 00:38:28,441
"He needs to continue growing
academically,

887
00:38:28,543 --> 00:38:30,545
socially and emotionally.

888
00:38:33,614 --> 00:38:35,415
(TEARFUL) Thank you
for considering our son,

889
00:38:35,650 --> 00:38:36,818
the light of our lives,

890
00:38:36,884 --> 00:38:38,920
who consistently
brightens our days

891
00:38:39,020 --> 00:38:41,989
and would undoubtedly do
the same for this institution."

892
00:38:42,790 --> 00:38:46,459
Oh, my God. (CRIES)

893
00:38:47,261 --> 00:38:50,264
(SNIFFLES)
(SIGHS HEAVILY, SNIFFLES)

894
00:38:50,765 --> 00:38:52,667
You have to admit
it's good, right?

895
00:38:52,767 --> 00:38:56,469
Yeah. It's... it's all right.
It's not bad. It's not bad.

896
00:38:57,238 --> 00:38:59,140
(SNIFFLES)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

897
00:38:59,574 --> 00:39:01,341
Aw.
(DOORBELL RINGS)

898
00:39:01,441 --> 00:39:02,643
(GASPS) Oh, no.

899
00:39:03,044 --> 00:39:06,147
Oh, can someone answer the door?
I'm not ready yet.

900
00:39:06,214 --> 00:39:08,049
All right, babe.
JOE: I'll get it!

901
00:39:10,518 --> 00:39:12,720
Oh, that's so... so good.

902
00:39:14,856 --> 00:39:15,857
So good.

903
00:39:17,390 --> 00:39:19,260
ALAN: Ahoy there, matey.
LAUREN: Hello!

904
00:39:19,527 --> 00:39:21,662
This must be Gracie, eh?
ALAN: Oh, yeah.

905
00:39:21,729 --> 00:39:23,396
JOE: Hello. (CHUCKLES)
ALAN: That's her.

906
00:39:23,698 --> 00:39:26,067
Oh, and, uh, this is?
Oh.

907
00:39:26,133 --> 00:39:27,400
This is Roze.
ALAN: This is Roze.

908
00:39:27,467 --> 00:39:29,503
JOE: Oh.
Nice to meet you, sir.

909
00:39:29,604 --> 00:39:31,806
Oh, no, pleasure's all mine.

910
00:39:32,807 --> 00:39:35,710
LAUREN: Roze is our nanny.
Well, Grace's nanny, that is.

911
00:39:36,110 --> 00:39:39,146
She looks after all of us.
BRIAN: Oh, iceberg, portside.

912
00:39:39,247 --> 00:39:41,048
Oh!
Ahoy!

913
00:39:41,682 --> 00:39:43,184
Wish I had a stupid, blue hat.

914
00:39:43,416 --> 00:39:44,919
Oh, look at you two.
You look exactly the same.

915
00:39:44,986 --> 00:39:47,454
You're wearing the same gear.
It was my idea.

916
00:39:47,622 --> 00:39:49,422
It was your idea?
Bet it was your money as well.

917
00:39:49,489 --> 00:39:50,925
Sarah will be down in a minute.

918
00:39:50,992 --> 00:39:52,793
Oh, and Roze is here.
How you doing, Roze, you okay?

919
00:39:52,860 --> 00:39:54,662
Thought me dad
was looking after the kids.

920
00:39:54,762 --> 00:39:56,664
Oh, of course.
So kind of you. We just...

921
00:39:56,764 --> 00:39:59,166
we just thought it would be
helpful to bring her along.

922
00:39:59,901 --> 00:40:01,569
Hey, don't get miffed.

923
00:40:01,802 --> 00:40:03,771
I need all the help
I can get, eh?

924
00:40:05,773 --> 00:40:08,009
All right. Shall we have
a quick tour then,

925
00:40:08,109 --> 00:40:09,043
while we wait for Sarah.

926
00:40:09,143 --> 00:40:10,678
Yeah?
Come on then, follow me.

927
00:40:13,814 --> 00:40:17,351
Oh... (CHUCKLES)
...look at this, little dojo.

928
00:40:17,652 --> 00:40:18,686
Everyone, this is Dylan.

929
00:40:18,886 --> 00:40:20,855
He's competing again
at the nationals next month.

930
00:40:20,922 --> 00:40:24,292
That outfit is adorbs.
Cute little guy. Look at that.

931
00:40:24,358 --> 00:40:26,459
Alan, try to take him down.

932
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:28,029
(CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS)

933
00:40:28,095 --> 00:40:29,830
I'm not... I'm not gonna...
I'm not gonna take him down.

934
00:40:29,897 --> 00:40:32,266
Go on, have a go.
ALAN: I'm not gonna
take your kid down.

935
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:33,567
BRIAN: Try to take him down.
I could.

936
00:40:33,668 --> 00:40:36,070
If I wanted to, I could.
I could.

937
00:40:37,405 --> 00:40:38,906
Nice to meet you, bud.

938
00:40:40,641 --> 00:40:45,012
(GRUNTS) Oh!
Athletic little guy, isn't he?

939
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,050
(PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, wow. (GRUNTS)

940
00:40:49,750 --> 00:40:51,719
Oh, God. Brian... Brian?

941
00:40:51,953 --> 00:40:54,889
(GRUNTS)

942
00:40:55,056 --> 00:40:56,489
You all right?
Babe?

943
00:40:59,427 --> 00:41:00,695
(GRUNTS)

944
00:41:02,163 --> 00:41:05,498
(GRUNTS IN PAIN) Get off me.

945
00:41:06,100 --> 00:41:07,101
Get off me.

946
00:41:07,969 --> 00:41:09,804
(GRUNTS)
Brian!

947
00:41:09,904 --> 00:41:11,872
(ALAN GRUNTING)

948
00:41:13,307 --> 00:41:16,644
Okay, okay, okay.
Dylan? Dylan, desist.

949
00:41:17,511 --> 00:41:19,680
Sorry. I've never flipped
someone so big.

950
00:41:19,814 --> 00:41:21,682
(PANTS)

951
00:41:23,284 --> 00:41:26,120
Well, let's... let's...
let's go... let's go sailing.

952
00:41:26,721 --> 00:41:29,657
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

953
00:41:40,034 --> 00:41:41,635
LAUREN: You all right?
Was it bad?

954
00:41:42,036 --> 00:41:43,471
It was bad, wasn't it?
Uh, I thought

955
00:41:43,537 --> 00:41:44,939
it was a very
honorable submission.

956
00:41:45,006 --> 00:41:45,940
(SCOFFS)

957
00:41:47,475 --> 00:41:49,377
What was I supposed to do,
it was a little kid.

958
00:41:49,477 --> 00:41:50,878
Supposed to beat him up?
I'm not gonna beat up--

959
00:41:50,978 --> 00:41:52,513
I could have...
I could have beat him up.

960
00:41:52,613 --> 00:41:53,948
I-- You were very gallant.

961
00:41:54,081 --> 00:41:56,250
And I think the main thing
to think of here

962
00:41:56,350 --> 00:41:59,387
is that they are a lovely family
and I really like them.

963
00:41:59,687 --> 00:42:01,455
And the little boy
is so talented.

964
00:42:01,756 --> 00:42:04,091
Can you believe what he did?
Uh, no, I can't.

965
00:42:05,226 --> 00:42:07,228
I underestimated him.
What?

966
00:42:07,328 --> 00:42:09,030
But it's not going
to happen again.

967
00:42:10,264 --> 00:42:15,069
(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

968
00:42:25,446 --> 00:42:26,414
SARAH:
Never heard of that before.

969
00:42:26,515 --> 00:42:27,715
I might give it a go.

970
00:42:29,450 --> 00:42:32,219
LAUREN: (SIGHS)
I really miss sailing.

971
00:42:32,486 --> 00:42:34,555
I'm so glad
you guys asked us to come.

972
00:42:34,622 --> 00:42:35,790
SARAH: Oh!
It's been a long time

973
00:42:35,956 --> 00:42:38,059
since Alan and I have been
out with another couple.

974
00:42:38,159 --> 00:42:41,195
Oh, yeah? You mean not covered
in food stains, or vomit,

975
00:42:41,295 --> 00:42:44,365
or watching The Wild and Crazies
for six hours on a loop?

976
00:42:44,432 --> 00:42:46,167
(CHUCKLES)
Well, the day is young.

977
00:42:46,333 --> 00:42:48,636
Have you met my husband?
Oh, God. Have you met mine?

978
00:42:49,136 --> 00:42:51,439
So, Alan,
you finished your thesis?

979
00:42:51,506 --> 00:42:53,774
Yeah. Easy-peasy.
Yep. Same.

980
00:42:54,775 --> 00:42:56,177
What about
that father's presentation?

981
00:42:56,410 --> 00:43:00,081
Yeah. Really prepped for it.
Fully prepped. What about you?

982
00:43:00,147 --> 00:43:02,049
Fully prepped. I mean...

983
00:43:03,217 --> 00:43:04,051
she's my... she's my daughter.

984
00:43:04,118 --> 00:43:05,953
I've been prepping
for years, right?

985
00:43:06,153 --> 00:43:07,154
Yeah, same.

986
00:43:10,624 --> 00:43:13,360
So, where's the boat?
There, Alan, look.

987
00:43:13,661 --> 00:43:15,629
LAUREN: Oh,
she's beautiful, Brian.

988
00:43:16,030 --> 00:43:16,964
BRIAN: She is.

989
00:43:18,065 --> 00:43:18,966
Gaynor.

990
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,068
What's the significance there?

991
00:43:22,903 --> 00:43:24,371
SARAH: Not gonna tell him, babe?

992
00:43:25,039 --> 00:43:27,108
Shall I tell him?
Yeah, you crack on.

993
00:43:27,241 --> 00:43:29,743
Oh, well, believe it or not,

994
00:43:29,810 --> 00:43:33,848
but Brian is a huge fan
of Gloria Gaynor.

995
00:43:34,148 --> 00:43:36,283
Well, she's very talented.
SARAH: Yeah, I mean, you know,

996
00:43:36,350 --> 00:43:37,852
"I Will Survive" is not really

997
00:43:37,918 --> 00:43:39,220
quite the right name
for a boat, is it?

998
00:43:39,286 --> 00:43:42,189
But it is, in fact,
Brian's favorite song.

999
00:43:42,857 --> 00:43:44,191
Yeah, and poor Brian.

1000
00:43:44,258 --> 00:43:45,926
He's had some real trials
and tribulations,

1001
00:43:45,993 --> 00:43:47,461
some heartache in his life.

1002
00:43:47,661 --> 00:43:48,896
And that song,
it's just got you through

1003
00:43:48,996 --> 00:43:50,998
the darkest of days,
hasn't it, my baby?

1004
00:43:51,098 --> 00:43:51,899
Hmm.

1005
00:43:52,233 --> 00:43:54,001
Yeah, I've only ever heard
divorced women sing that song.

1006
00:43:55,504 --> 00:43:57,805
Well, the French sang it and it
won them the World Cup in '98.

1007
00:43:58,172 --> 00:44:01,008
The French? Yeah, well,
I guess I could believe that.

1008
00:44:02,476 --> 00:44:03,944
BRIAN: Ahoy there, Bob!

1009
00:44:04,579 --> 00:44:06,280
He takes care
of this beauty for us.

1010
00:44:08,749 --> 00:44:10,084
Yeah
ALAN: Hey.

1011
00:44:11,485 --> 00:44:12,686
Brian.

1012
00:44:13,888 --> 00:44:15,256
You can't take
the boat out today.

1013
00:44:15,389 --> 00:44:19,693
What? Why not, Bob?
(CHUCKLES) You just can't.

1014
00:44:20,529 --> 00:44:21,563
You know why.

1015
00:44:21,962 --> 00:44:24,798
I actually don't know why, Bob.
This is very much a surprise.

1016
00:44:26,635 --> 00:44:28,102
Oh, right! (CHUCKLES)

1017
00:44:28,335 --> 00:44:30,171
You... you called,
but I didn't tell you

1018
00:44:30,237 --> 00:44:34,942
because I just noticed now,
or just few minutes ago

1019
00:44:35,009 --> 00:44:37,778
while I was trying
to get her ready for you.

1020
00:44:37,878 --> 00:44:39,280
Can you get to the point,
please, Bob?

1021
00:44:39,446 --> 00:44:40,347
Um...

1022
00:44:42,316 --> 00:44:43,817
it's the head.

1023
00:44:44,619 --> 00:44:47,589
I wouldn't want
to get into many details.

1024
00:44:48,189 --> 00:44:52,661
But one of the workers
had too many burritos.

1025
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:53,727
Oh, for-- This is...

1026
00:44:53,794 --> 00:44:55,696
And his IBS kicked in.
Oh, dear.

1027
00:44:55,763 --> 00:44:57,464
And he couldn't make it
to the clubhouse.

1028
00:44:57,532 --> 00:44:59,333
LAUREN: Oh!
JOE: And your boat

1029
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:00,901
was right here, and...

1030
00:45:01,802 --> 00:45:04,104
Anyway,
it's a real mess down there.

1031
00:45:04,639 --> 00:45:06,974
I wouldn't even get too close
if I were you,

1032
00:45:07,074 --> 00:45:08,909
or you'll start smelling
the overflow

1033
00:45:08,976 --> 00:45:10,477
from the holding tank, yeah.
BRIAN: Okay.

1034
00:45:10,545 --> 00:45:13,214
Thank you very much. That's--
We've got it. Thank you.

1035
00:45:13,714 --> 00:45:18,052
(SIGHS) Ah, what a darn shame.
(SCOFFS)

1036
00:45:18,285 --> 00:45:20,754
I guess we'll just
have to do it another day.

1037
00:45:24,559 --> 00:45:26,427
It wasn't me, by the way.

1038
00:45:27,562 --> 00:45:28,896
Thank you very much
for whatever that was.

1039
00:45:28,963 --> 00:45:31,398
Ridiculous. Cheers.

1040
00:45:33,167 --> 00:45:35,202
(GROANS)

1041
00:45:36,837 --> 00:45:40,374
Hey, let's not let this
ruin our day out.

1042
00:45:41,676 --> 00:45:42,743
I've got an idea.

1043
00:45:43,010 --> 00:45:45,580
There are paddle ball courts
here, that might be fun.

1044
00:45:45,913 --> 00:45:46,814
Do you play, Alan?

1045
00:45:47,014 --> 00:45:48,215
Alan's always wanted
to try that.

1046
00:45:48,282 --> 00:45:49,817
I'm not really dressed for--
BRIAN: Really? Well,

1047
00:45:49,883 --> 00:45:50,784
it's your lucky day!

1048
00:45:50,851 --> 00:45:51,885
Just a five-minute walk.

1049
00:45:51,986 --> 00:45:53,354
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
I tell you what,

1050
00:45:53,454 --> 00:45:54,788
I'll reserve us a court, yeah?

1051
00:45:57,592 --> 00:46:00,361
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

1052
00:46:05,833 --> 00:46:08,235
LAUREN: Okay. Lovely.

1053
00:46:09,803 --> 00:46:11,905
ALAN: I didn't know
this place existed.

1054
00:46:12,641 --> 00:46:13,807
LAUREN: Little Wimbledon.

1055
00:46:17,177 --> 00:46:22,550
Uh, do you want a drink, or?
Yeah, yeah. Anything.

1056
00:46:22,651 --> 00:46:23,884
Some nuts.

1057
00:46:24,552 --> 00:46:26,487
Nuts?
Yeah. Or coffee, or--

1058
00:46:26,554 --> 00:46:27,454
Where did he go?

1059
00:46:27,988 --> 00:46:29,524
I don't know. Maybe toilet, or--

1060
00:46:29,591 --> 00:46:32,192
Don't know. I'm not sure.
Right. We all ready then?

1061
00:46:33,894 --> 00:46:36,263
(PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYS)

1062
00:46:37,965 --> 00:46:40,000
Yeah? Let's go.

1063
00:46:45,205 --> 00:46:46,106
Babe?

1064
00:46:46,608 --> 00:46:47,776
Babe? Brian?
Yeah?

1065
00:46:47,841 --> 00:46:48,876
What are you wearing?

1066
00:46:49,009 --> 00:46:50,044
What?
What are you wearing?

1067
00:46:50,110 --> 00:46:51,546
What do you mean
what I'm wearing?

1068
00:46:51,613 --> 00:46:53,748
What do you mean,
what do I mean? It's too tight!

1069
00:46:53,847 --> 00:46:56,216
I think, we should try
to be kind to them.

1070
00:46:56,283 --> 00:46:58,152
I'll be kind.
I'm not going to let 'em win.

1071
00:46:58,319 --> 00:47:00,354
Okay, stretching,
just a little bit.

1072
00:47:01,088 --> 00:47:03,257
Just a little stretch.
Back and forth, back and forth.

1073
00:47:04,626 --> 00:47:08,797
(GROANS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

1074
00:47:08,896 --> 00:47:10,898
(GRUNTS) Oh, my God.
What are you--

1075
00:47:10,998 --> 00:47:12,032
Get it off me.
Babe.

1076
00:47:12,099 --> 00:47:13,133
BRIAN: What's--
SARAH: Stop it.

1077
00:47:13,267 --> 00:47:15,537
What is it?
Get it off me, please.

1078
00:47:15,603 --> 00:47:18,105
Brain, it's fine. It's gone.
BRIAN: Has it gone now?

1079
00:47:18,707 --> 00:47:19,741
Get it off! Where's it gone?

1080
00:47:20,274 --> 00:47:22,276
Babe, look at me.
It's... it's gone up there.

1081
00:47:22,376 --> 00:47:24,011
What's a butterfly
doing in here?
It's up there.

1082
00:47:24,144 --> 00:47:25,747
It's gone up there.
It's fine. Just breathe.

1083
00:47:25,946 --> 00:47:28,315
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
My God. That was close.

1084
00:47:29,718 --> 00:47:31,285
Okay.
Just breathe.

1085
00:47:31,519 --> 00:47:33,087
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

1086
00:47:33,187 --> 00:47:34,756
Right. I'm guessing
we all know the rules.

1087
00:47:34,855 --> 00:47:36,090
What was that?

1088
00:47:36,190 --> 00:47:37,958
It was just a thing.
Just a... a weird buggy thing.

1089
00:47:38,025 --> 00:47:39,026
It was a butterfly.

1090
00:47:39,527 --> 00:47:41,128
Yeah, it doesn't matter,
does it?
Are you afraid of butterflies?

1091
00:47:41,161 --> 00:47:42,597
LAUREN:
I think he's afraid of all bugs.

1092
00:47:42,831 --> 00:47:44,031
I didn't know that was a thing.

1093
00:47:44,198 --> 00:47:45,767
I'd say
he just proved that it is.

1094
00:47:45,999 --> 00:47:47,935
Entomophobia.
It is a thing, actually.

1095
00:47:48,402 --> 00:47:49,236
Yeah. Look it up.

1096
00:47:49,637 --> 00:47:51,939
I could get a blue badge
if I wanted, but I don't.
(SNICKERS)

1097
00:47:52,005 --> 00:47:54,108
Okay, ready?
Ready for serve. All right.

1098
00:47:54,676 --> 00:47:56,009
Feet in position, bub.

1099
00:47:56,811 --> 00:47:58,479
And, off we go.

1100
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:01,081
Mine, mine, mine, mine!
(GRUNTS)

1101
00:48:01,382 --> 00:48:03,150
Sorry, sorry. Are you okay?
I elbowed--
Can you just calm down?

1102
00:48:03,217 --> 00:48:04,753
Babe, stop it!
Our serve now?

1103
00:48:04,819 --> 00:48:06,086
SARAH: Yeah, yeah, it is.
BRIAN: No, no.

1104
00:48:06,554 --> 00:48:08,455
SARAH: It's their serve.
It's definitely not.
I serve for the whole game.

1105
00:48:08,556 --> 00:48:10,090
No, no, you, um--
We'll just say it's yours.

1106
00:48:10,190 --> 00:48:12,393
SARAH: Calm down. Bloody hell.
I serve for the whole game.

1107
00:48:13,894 --> 00:48:16,029
Oh, bad luck.
That makes it our serve.

1108
00:48:16,564 --> 00:48:17,464
If that--

1109
00:48:17,532 --> 00:48:18,899
Ah!
BRIAN: Ha, ha!

1110
00:48:20,100 --> 00:48:22,436
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

1111
00:48:24,004 --> 00:48:25,372
BRIAN: Mine, mine, mine!
(GRUNTS)

1112
00:48:25,507 --> 00:48:26,206
Unlucky.

1113
00:48:26,674 --> 00:48:28,375
Watch out. Watch out!
God, you nearly got my...

1114
00:48:28,442 --> 00:48:29,778
you nearly got
my wife then in the head.

1115
00:48:29,977 --> 00:48:32,312
ALAN: Sorry about that.
Will you just
take it down a notch.

1116
00:48:34,281 --> 00:48:36,016
All right.
Just calm down a bit.

1117
00:48:36,083 --> 00:48:37,886
That's 15-love.
You weren't looking, were you?

1118
00:48:37,951 --> 00:48:39,987
Pay attention.
That was... that was out!

1119
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:41,656
That was out.
Just stop it.

1120
00:48:41,723 --> 00:48:44,191
You're stressing me out.
Let's everyone just calm--

1121
00:48:44,258 --> 00:48:45,159
(GRUNTS)

1122
00:48:45,894 --> 00:48:47,161
SARAH: Calm down.

1123
00:48:48,630 --> 00:48:49,597
(SHOUTS)

1124
00:48:53,033 --> 00:48:55,202
(SHOUTS) Yes!
LAUREN: Calm down. Just calm.--

1125
00:48:55,302 --> 00:48:57,438
Okay. That's our game.
LAUREN: Calm down.

1126
00:48:57,705 --> 00:48:58,773
That's our point!

1127
00:48:59,072 --> 00:49:03,177
Yes! Good job. Hey, hey.
Ah! It's all right. Next time.

1128
00:49:03,243 --> 00:49:04,679
Stop it.
Four-three.

1129
00:49:04,813 --> 00:49:06,681
(GRUNTS)
I got it.

1130
00:49:06,748 --> 00:49:08,215
(GRUNTS)
ALAN: Sorry.

1131
00:49:08,449 --> 00:49:09,983
(SHOUTS) Yes!
ALAN: (SHOUTS) Yes!

1132
00:49:12,687 --> 00:49:14,988
That was in! Match point.

1133
00:49:19,828 --> 00:49:21,128
(YELLS)

1134
00:49:28,335 --> 00:49:29,269
(ALAN GRUNTS)

1135
00:49:30,037 --> 00:49:32,039
(SHOUTS) Yeah!
Yes!

1136
00:49:34,374 --> 00:49:36,878
I love you so much.
SARAH: Oh, babe. Oh, babe.

1137
00:49:36,945 --> 00:49:38,580
We won. We won.
SARAH: We won.

1138
00:49:39,079 --> 00:49:41,716
(ALAN GRUNTS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

1139
00:49:42,082 --> 00:49:43,918
You all right there, pal?
Are you okay?

1140
00:49:44,418 --> 00:49:45,920
Do you need a minute?
What?

1141
00:49:46,019 --> 00:49:48,055
(GRUNTS)

1142
00:49:48,322 --> 00:49:51,024
LAUREN: Oh, no.
(SHOUTS) Oh, my God!

1143
00:49:51,391 --> 00:49:52,927
Oh, my-- (YELLS IN PAIN)
LAUREN: That's bad.

1144
00:49:52,993 --> 00:49:54,228
Oh, my God.

1145
00:49:54,796 --> 00:49:56,564
What do I do?
Ooh, dear.

1146
00:49:56,731 --> 00:49:59,534
(GAGS)
LAUREN: Oh, that's bad.

1147
00:49:59,634 --> 00:50:01,201
Someone should do something.

1148
00:50:01,803 --> 00:50:03,738
Oh!
(ALAN RETCHING)

1149
00:50:06,206 --> 00:50:07,775
BRIAN: 'Cause all I'm saying
is it'd just be

1150
00:50:07,909 --> 00:50:08,943
really interesting to know

1151
00:50:09,009 --> 00:50:10,444
exactly how fast
that ball was going.

1152
00:50:10,645 --> 00:50:12,981
Not for me, but for... for Alan.
For bragging rights.

1153
00:50:13,046 --> 00:50:15,650
Right, yeah.
What Brian is trying to say,

1154
00:50:16,584 --> 00:50:17,919
is that he's really sorry.

1155
00:50:18,352 --> 00:50:19,954
And, um,
if there's anything we can do,

1156
00:50:20,020 --> 00:50:21,255
please just do let us know.

1157
00:50:21,355 --> 00:50:23,090
Oh, I did already say that.
No, you didn't say it.

1158
00:50:23,156 --> 00:50:24,191
Yeah, I did.
No, say it properly.

1159
00:50:24,258 --> 00:50:25,793
Like you mean it.
I've said it loads. I've--

1160
00:50:25,860 --> 00:50:27,060
Say it like you mean it!
Sorry, Alan.

1161
00:50:27,127 --> 00:50:28,428
I'm sorry, mate.
No!

1162
00:50:30,565 --> 00:50:32,700
Let's... let's go inside.
Yeah, yeah.

1163
00:50:34,334 --> 00:50:36,303
Look, I... I am sorry, Alan.

1164
00:50:37,237 --> 00:50:41,174
Mate...
my sincerest apologies, yeah?

1165
00:50:41,241 --> 00:50:44,111
If there's anything I can do,
you just let me know.

1166
00:50:46,781 --> 00:50:48,048
Well, you...
you could step aside

1167
00:50:48,115 --> 00:50:49,551
and let Grace take that spot.

1168
00:50:53,220 --> 00:50:54,956
(CHUCKLES) I'm just kidding.

1169
00:50:55,155 --> 00:50:58,927
(LAUGHS) I'm just kidding.
(CHUCKLES)

1170
00:50:59,393 --> 00:51:02,630
I mean, where'd the fun
in that be, right? (CHUCKLES)

1171
00:51:03,297 --> 00:51:04,666
We're just getting started, pal.

1172
00:51:06,166 --> 00:51:07,134
BRIAN: Yeah.

1173
00:51:07,467 --> 00:51:09,269
SARAH:
That's weird, it's locked.

1174
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,208
Hello? We're back.

1175
00:51:17,579 --> 00:51:18,580
Hello?

1176
00:51:19,514 --> 00:51:21,950
ALAN: Grace, come on.
Time to go, honey.

1177
00:51:22,016 --> 00:51:23,483
Why is it so dark in here?

1178
00:51:24,217 --> 00:51:26,253
Roze?
SARAH: Where are they?

1179
00:51:26,754 --> 00:51:28,890
(GROWLS)
(YELLS)

1180
00:51:28,990 --> 00:51:30,892
(YELLS)
LAUREN: (YELLS) Oh, my gosh!

1181
00:51:31,025 --> 00:51:33,327
(JOE LAUGHS)

1182
00:51:33,427 --> 00:51:35,228
BRIAN: Dad. We've spoken
about this, haven't we?

1183
00:51:35,295 --> 00:51:37,197
(JOE LAUGHS)
BRIAN: No Sasquatch
in the house.

1184
00:51:37,364 --> 00:51:39,399
Grace, honey, come on.
Time to go.

1185
00:51:39,534 --> 00:51:40,969
Come on. Oh, there she is.
Boo!

1186
00:51:41,035 --> 00:51:42,003
Boo!
LAUREN: Oh, wow!

1187
00:51:42,070 --> 00:51:43,270
ALAN:
There she is. Look at that.

1188
00:51:43,605 --> 00:51:45,472
Grace, it's time to go.
Where's Roze?

1189
00:51:46,306 --> 00:51:47,341
Where's Ro... Roze?

1190
00:51:47,441 --> 00:51:49,644
I am here, Mr. Alan.
ALAN: Oh.

1191
00:51:49,711 --> 00:51:51,478
Uh, we were having fun.

1192
00:51:51,980 --> 00:51:54,816
No, no. Keep it. It suits you.

1193
00:51:54,916 --> 00:51:55,984
(CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHS)

1194
00:51:56,084 --> 00:51:57,986
Okay, well, that's enough
fun for one day.

1195
00:51:58,052 --> 00:51:59,386
GRACE: Daddy, it's weird here.

1196
00:51:59,453 --> 00:52:01,121
ALAN: Yeah, couldn't agree more.
Let's go, hon.

1197
00:52:01,221 --> 00:52:03,858
(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

1198
00:52:08,997 --> 00:52:10,965
Big day, bubba.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.

1199
00:52:11,032 --> 00:52:13,367
Are you going to hand this in
today or do you want me to?

1200
00:52:13,433 --> 00:52:14,769
No, I'm heading there right now.

1201
00:52:14,869 --> 00:52:17,538
I want to get it in first,
so Mrs. Lawrence reads it first.

1202
00:52:17,639 --> 00:52:19,641
You know what I mean?
Good plan.

1203
00:52:20,575 --> 00:52:21,643
(SIGHS SHARPLY)

1204
00:52:22,910 --> 00:52:25,145
(BELL TOLLING)

1205
00:52:26,446 --> 00:52:28,215
(GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMES)

1206
00:52:28,983 --> 00:52:32,185
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Uh, yes. Come in.

1207
00:52:34,254 --> 00:52:36,289
(GASPS) Oh, Mr. Young, come in.

1208
00:52:40,427 --> 00:52:41,395
BRIAN: How you doing?

1209
00:52:41,495 --> 00:52:43,765
Oh, yes,
I'm... I'm very well, thank you.

1210
00:52:44,032 --> 00:52:45,465
Made your mind up yet?
I'm only joking.

1211
00:52:45,533 --> 00:52:47,267
I'm only joking.
(SYLVIA CHUCKLES)

1212
00:52:47,935 --> 00:52:49,904
Maybe this will help.
SYLVIA: Oh.

1213
00:52:51,572 --> 00:52:53,141
Oh, what's that, then?
What's this?

1214
00:52:53,206 --> 00:52:54,676
Oh, that's, um...

1215
00:52:55,710 --> 00:52:58,079
Sorry, it's... it's just
such a moving piece.

1216
00:52:58,211 --> 00:53:01,348
Um... uh, Grace Williams is a--

1217
00:53:01,516 --> 00:53:03,383
Well, she's a hero.
Apparently, last year,

1218
00:53:03,450 --> 00:53:05,553
she brought a woman
out of a coma.

1219
00:53:06,988 --> 00:53:08,856
A... a coma? Wow.
SYLVIA: Hmm.

1220
00:53:09,590 --> 00:53:12,627
Oh, God.
That's... that's unbelievable.

1221
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:14,294
It... it truly is.

1222
00:53:16,229 --> 00:53:19,567
Anyhoo, um, well,
thank you for stopping by.

1223
00:53:19,634 --> 00:53:21,769
I look forward
to reading about Dylan.

1224
00:53:23,104 --> 00:53:25,707
I don't mind sticking about
a bit longer while you read it.

1225
00:53:25,773 --> 00:53:27,642
And that way, I'm here
if you have any questions

1226
00:53:27,809 --> 00:53:29,177
or you want to know
more about Dylan.

1227
00:53:29,342 --> 00:53:31,713
That won't be necessary,
but thank you, yeah.

1228
00:53:31,946 --> 00:53:33,715
Have a good day.
Okay.

1229
00:53:36,818 --> 00:53:37,952
D'you know, d'you know,

1230
00:53:38,052 --> 00:53:40,621
I've just remembered a couple
of really important details

1231
00:53:40,722 --> 00:53:42,422
that I think you'll find
really interesting.

1232
00:53:42,623 --> 00:53:44,491
Um, I should probably do a quick
revision, so can I just--

1233
00:53:44,625 --> 00:53:47,628
I assure you,
if I require any clarifications,

1234
00:53:47,695 --> 00:53:48,896
I will be in touch.

1235
00:53:49,130 --> 00:53:53,868
I really must attend a meeting
right now, but I assure you,

1236
00:53:53,968 --> 00:53:57,872
once I'm back in this office,
I will read the letter.

1237
00:53:59,540 --> 00:54:02,375
I promise you.
Have a wonderful day, Mr. Young.

1238
00:54:02,442 --> 00:54:03,678
BRIAN: Thank you very much,
Mrs. Lawrence.

1239
00:54:03,778 --> 00:54:05,378
Uh, I really look forward
to hearing from you.

1240
00:54:05,445 --> 00:54:07,280
Do you know Dylan
once gave me his kidney...

1241
00:54:07,682 --> 00:54:08,783
God sake.

1242
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:15,255
Yeah, right, bloody photoshop.

1243
00:54:16,224 --> 00:54:18,025
ALAN: Hey!
(GASPS)

1244
00:54:18,626 --> 00:54:21,162
Alan, good to see you.
ALAN: Brought you an umbrella.

1245
00:54:21,229 --> 00:54:22,730
Looks like rain.
Wonderful.

1246
00:54:23,131 --> 00:54:25,900
(INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING)

1247
00:54:30,270 --> 00:54:33,674
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

1248
00:54:55,897 --> 00:54:58,900
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

1249
00:55:01,501 --> 00:55:03,204
It's just right up here
around the bend.
Oh, wonderful.

1250
00:55:03,303 --> 00:55:04,437
Sorry about the weather.

1251
00:55:04,505 --> 00:55:06,207
SYLVIA: Well,
let's get out of this rain.

1252
00:55:06,406 --> 00:55:07,742
Quick as we can...

1253
00:55:07,909 --> 00:55:10,711
(INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING)

1254
00:55:16,383 --> 00:55:17,652
ALAN:
It's really about the kids.

1255
00:55:17,752 --> 00:55:20,855
SYLVIA: I honestly
don't know, is it? Yes.

1256
00:55:23,057 --> 00:55:24,625
Thank you.
ALAN: After you.

1257
00:55:28,729 --> 00:55:29,764
SYLVIA: Thank you.

1258
00:55:41,709 --> 00:55:43,277
My friends are
already in there, boss,

1259
00:55:43,343 --> 00:55:44,679
Of course.
Thank you.

1260
00:55:46,180 --> 00:55:48,683
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1261
00:55:50,818 --> 00:55:51,953
Oh, my goodness.

1262
00:55:55,523 --> 00:55:57,525
Is that you, Mrs. Lawrence?
Oh! Uh--

1263
00:55:57,625 --> 00:55:59,026
BRIAN: Wow!
Mr. Young.

1264
00:55:59,227 --> 00:56:00,862
Bloody hell. What a coincidence.

1265
00:56:01,128 --> 00:56:02,763
Hello. Again.

1266
00:56:04,364 --> 00:56:06,567
Alan!
Having a liquid lunch, I see.

1267
00:56:06,701 --> 00:56:07,400
Hmm.

1268
00:56:07,535 --> 00:56:08,870
Well, only,
you know, a small one.

1269
00:56:08,936 --> 00:56:11,471
Oh, no, I wasn't implying
that you're getting drunk.

1270
00:56:11,539 --> 00:56:13,541
I mean, you're allowed
a drink or two at lunch time.

1271
00:56:13,608 --> 00:56:15,176
Not that you're
having two, or...

1272
00:56:15,776 --> 00:56:18,646
I invited Sylvia here
to dine with me this afternoon.

1273
00:56:18,746 --> 00:56:19,547
Lovely.

1274
00:56:19,947 --> 00:56:22,016
It doesn't seem like a conflict
of interest at all, does it?

1275
00:56:22,984 --> 00:56:24,518
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1276
00:56:24,652 --> 00:56:27,454
Alan donated 30 new laptops
to our preschool.

1277
00:56:27,755 --> 00:56:30,691
Isn't that
a lovely gesture? So sweet.

1278
00:56:32,392 --> 00:56:33,995
Thirty laptops.

1279
00:56:34,262 --> 00:56:37,430
Wowzers.
Listen, can I... can I--

1280
00:56:38,332 --> 00:56:39,432
Thirty of 'em.

1281
00:56:40,801 --> 00:56:42,570
Lauren does give you a lot
of pocket money, doesn't she?

1282
00:56:42,770 --> 00:56:45,273
You lucky thing.
SYLVIA: But please, don't worry.

1283
00:56:45,506 --> 00:56:46,741
Donations won't affect
my decision.

1284
00:56:46,941 --> 00:56:48,009
Yeah.
SYLVIA: I promise you,
Mr. Young.

1285
00:56:48,309 --> 00:56:50,711
Of course not. It's merely
a contribution to the community.

1286
00:56:51,245 --> 00:56:54,749
See, Lauren and I believe that
the children are our future.

1287
00:56:54,949 --> 00:56:56,617
Oh.
Yeah, we... we teach them well

1288
00:56:56,684 --> 00:56:59,186
and we let them lead the way.
That's so lovely.

1289
00:56:59,486 --> 00:57:01,555
That's Whitney.
I don't... I don't think it is.

1290
00:57:01,622 --> 00:57:02,790
That's Whitney Houston.
ALAN: No, it's not.

1291
00:57:03,291 --> 00:57:05,026
He's fully just... He's...
he's just nicked
what Whitney Houston says,

1292
00:57:05,092 --> 00:57:06,426
and used it
in a conversation with you.

1293
00:57:06,493 --> 00:57:07,762
What?
No, I just made that up.

1294
00:57:07,828 --> 00:57:08,896
Hundred percent
didn't make that up.

1295
00:57:09,063 --> 00:57:10,865
Did I tell you how beautiful
that color is on you?

1296
00:57:10,965 --> 00:57:12,600
What is that, lavender?
(CHUCKLES)

1297
00:57:12,733 --> 00:57:14,035
ALAN: That is your color.

1298
00:57:14,402 --> 00:57:17,338
Anyway, uh...
can we help you today?

1299
00:57:17,470 --> 00:57:18,572
No, thank you.

1300
00:57:19,006 --> 00:57:20,641
Well, I'm famished.
How about you?

1301
00:57:20,775 --> 00:57:22,743
Yeah, uh, let's eat.
Anyway, have a good one.

1302
00:57:22,843 --> 00:57:24,245
BRIAN: Thanks.
SYLVIA: Nice to see you.

1303
00:57:24,312 --> 00:57:26,047
Amazing. Great to see you.

1304
00:57:28,082 --> 00:57:28,983
"I want a glass of vino."

1305
00:57:29,050 --> 00:57:30,318
"What, you want a glass?"
"Oh, yeah!"

1306
00:57:30,418 --> 00:57:31,619
"You haven't bought 30 laptops,
have you?"

1307
00:57:31,819 --> 00:57:33,621
"You don't deserve a glass
of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, do you?"

1308
00:57:33,721 --> 00:57:35,356
"You haven't bought anything."
"You don't buy your way

1309
00:57:35,455 --> 00:57:37,158
into things, do you?" (SHOUTS)

1310
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:40,861
(SCREAMS IN ANGER)

1311
00:57:56,644 --> 00:57:58,946
JOE: So, the rich guy
got the better of you.

1312
00:57:59,547 --> 00:58:02,049
So what? Let it go.

1313
00:58:03,084 --> 00:58:07,054
Find another school.
No, I can't, Dad. I can't.

1314
00:58:07,188 --> 00:58:09,123
I've worked me tail off
to get him into that school.

1315
00:58:09,223 --> 00:58:10,458
I ain't giving up. Nah.

1316
00:58:10,891 --> 00:58:13,260
Not before that father's
presentation on Friday, I ain't.

1317
00:58:13,327 --> 00:58:16,831
Fifty laptops? That's thousands.
It's not even his money, Dad.

1318
00:58:16,931 --> 00:58:18,532
That's the thing.
He's... he's...

1319
00:58:19,433 --> 00:58:23,170
he's a parasite. I'm gonna smash
the moustache off his face.

1320
00:58:23,437 --> 00:58:28,175
He's got a horrific-- He's got--
He shaved a-- Moustache, fine.

1321
00:58:28,275 --> 00:58:31,278
But what he's done
is he's put this little bit here

1322
00:58:31,379 --> 00:58:32,780
and he's... he's groomed it.

1323
00:58:32,847 --> 00:58:33,948
He's looked himself
in the mirror

1324
00:58:34,015 --> 00:58:37,318
and he's triangled himself.
Who does that?

1325
00:58:37,852 --> 00:58:40,354
I'll find a way. I'll find a way
to do something different.

1326
00:58:40,421 --> 00:58:42,656
I've just...
I've just gotta be...

1327
00:58:43,824 --> 00:58:44,658
creative.

1328
00:58:45,159 --> 00:58:47,628
It's not about the money, it's
about connecting with the kids.

1329
00:58:48,329 --> 00:58:50,698
That's the most sensible thing
you've said this week.

1330
00:58:53,768 --> 00:58:55,669
Since when do you get dressed up
to go to the pub?

1331
00:58:55,836 --> 00:58:57,571
Are you on a hot date
or something, Dad?

1332
00:58:58,205 --> 00:58:59,673
None of your business.

1333
00:59:01,409 --> 00:59:02,376
Right.

1334
00:59:02,643 --> 00:59:03,778
PRESENTER ON TV:
<i>Appreciate your time.</i>

1335
00:59:03,878 --> 00:59:05,046
<i>Well played out there.</i>

1336
00:59:05,112 --> 00:59:06,380
(DOOR CLOSING)

1337
00:59:07,148 --> 00:59:09,016
ANNOUNCER: <i>And we'll be back</i>
<i>for more Wednesday night...</i>

1338
00:59:09,083 --> 00:59:09,784
(SIGHS)

1339
00:59:09,850 --> 00:59:10,818
<i>...football after this break.</i>

1340
00:59:11,152 --> 00:59:14,088
(SINGER) <i>♪ Everybody toots ♪</i>
(CHILDREN CHEERING)

1341
00:59:14,488 --> 00:59:16,824
<i>I did a toot.</i>
<i>Do you want to do that too?</i>

1342
00:59:16,891 --> 00:59:18,793
(MAKES FARTING SOUND) <i>Hey!</i>
ANNOUNCER: <i>If you've got</i>

1343
00:59:18,859 --> 00:59:20,428
<i>a child that likes</i>
<i>The Wild and Crazies,</i>

1344
00:59:20,494 --> 00:59:24,331
<i>then why not go crazy and come</i>
<i>to a live TV recording tomorrow?</i>

1345
00:59:24,799 --> 00:59:26,634
<i>Guaranteed to impress any kid!</i>

1346
00:59:27,134 --> 00:59:30,337
<i>Live at the Richmond Gate</i>
<i>TV Studios tomorrow!</i>

1347
00:59:30,471 --> 00:59:32,339
(CHILDREN SHOUTING EXCITEDLY)

1348
00:59:34,275 --> 00:59:37,578
(PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

1349
00:59:42,517 --> 00:59:44,418
Sorry, everyone,
we're at capacity.

1350
00:59:44,652 --> 00:59:45,786
CROWD: What?
I'm sorry,

1351
00:59:45,853 --> 00:59:47,221
I don't make the rules.
(CROWD JEERING)

1352
00:59:47,354 --> 00:59:48,523
SCALPER: I'm sorry, kids,

1353
00:59:48,622 --> 00:59:50,357
we're here again
next week. Try next week.

1354
00:59:51,025 --> 00:59:53,494
Mate, I really need
to get into that show.

1355
00:59:53,694 --> 00:59:55,129
Is there anything you can do?
I can pay you.

1356
00:59:55,196 --> 00:59:57,532
(LOUDLY) Sorry, sir,
the audience is now full.

1357
00:59:57,998 --> 00:59:59,133
(WHISPERS) I can get you in.

1358
00:59:59,233 --> 01:00:00,668
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
What?

1359
01:00:00,868 --> 01:00:02,303
(YELLS) I said
there's no way you're getting

1360
01:00:02,369 --> 01:00:03,637
in there today, sir!

1361
01:00:03,871 --> 01:00:06,173
How many in your group?
Uh, just one.

1362
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:07,576
Just one?
BRIAN: Yeah.

1363
01:00:07,641 --> 01:00:09,243
Aren't you here with a kid?
No.

1364
01:00:09,511 --> 01:00:10,444
That's a bit creepy, mate.

1365
01:00:10,579 --> 01:00:12,413
Can you get me
into the show or not?

1366
01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:13,747
Yeah, of course, 200 quid.

1367
01:00:13,848 --> 01:00:15,382
(YELLS) Two-hundred pound?
(SHUSHES)

1368
01:00:15,550 --> 01:00:16,817
You want in or not?

1369
01:00:20,354 --> 01:00:21,055
BRIAN: Here.

1370
01:00:21,388 --> 01:00:22,957
(WHISPERS) Down there,
down there, down there.

1371
01:00:26,293 --> 01:00:27,261
Thank you, mate.

1372
01:00:28,429 --> 01:00:34,435
(INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING)
(MONKEY TRILLING, VOCALIZING)

1373
01:00:34,702 --> 01:00:37,506
My mum's a nun. My mum's a nun.

1374
01:00:37,572 --> 01:00:43,377
(VOCALIZING, EXCLAIMING)

1375
01:00:45,813 --> 01:00:49,116
(SINGS)
♪ <i>Hey-oh, hey-oh, hey-oh! ♪</i>
Hello.

1376
01:00:50,619 --> 01:00:51,785
(DOOR CLOSING)
Who are you?

1377
01:00:52,153 --> 01:00:56,423
Uh, my name's Brian,
and I'm a massive fan. Massive.

1378
01:00:56,490 --> 01:00:58,259
And so is my son.
Where's your son?

1379
01:00:58,325 --> 01:00:59,493
He's at home.

1380
01:00:59,594 --> 01:01:00,895
No, don't worry.
I'm not a weirdo.

1381
01:01:00,961 --> 01:01:02,263
(BEAR SCOFFS)
I just-- I've come here to ask

1382
01:01:02,329 --> 01:01:04,732
if you'd... if you'd play
at my son's preschool.

1383
01:01:04,798 --> 01:01:05,699
(WILD AND CRAZIES CHUCKLE)

1384
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:08,135
I... I'd pay you, obviously.
And it... it's for a good cause.

1385
01:01:08,202 --> 01:01:13,240
This, uh, son, is he... sick?
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

1386
01:01:14,509 --> 01:01:16,343
Uh, no, he's not.
But he's a good kid.

1387
01:01:16,410 --> 01:01:17,311
(GRUNTS)

1388
01:01:18,012 --> 01:01:23,951
Take a look around you, man, eh?
Look at this. This is live TV.

1389
01:01:24,018 --> 01:01:27,755
This is the big-time.
Do you know what I'm saying?

1390
01:01:28,489 --> 01:01:29,790
Small stuff...

1391
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:33,427
we don't really do that no more.

1392
01:01:34,461 --> 01:01:37,097
It's taken us years to get here.

1393
01:01:38,633 --> 01:01:41,101
Yeah, I get it, I do, but, um...

1394
01:01:41,670 --> 01:01:43,538
just think of the publicity
you'd receive.

1395
01:01:43,605 --> 01:01:44,905
The... the Wild
and the Crazies...

1396
01:01:44,972 --> 01:01:47,274
It's Wild and Crazy.
BRIAN: What did I say?

1397
01:01:47,341 --> 01:01:49,210
"Wild and Crazies."
BRIAN: Oh, sorry. Wild and C--

1398
01:01:49,276 --> 01:01:51,245
What... what?
We're the Wild and Crazies.

1399
01:01:51,979 --> 01:01:54,148
BRIAN: The Wild and Crazy.
Wild and Crazies.

1400
01:01:54,215 --> 01:01:56,083
BRIAN: The Wild and Crazies...
That's right.

1401
01:01:56,150 --> 01:01:58,152
He says he's a fan.
(WILD AND CRAZIES LAUGHING)

1402
01:01:58,219 --> 01:01:59,720
(LAUGHS)
BRIAN: ...works well
with the children...

1403
01:01:59,787 --> 01:02:01,155
Listen to me, right?

1404
01:02:01,222 --> 01:02:03,692
We got a stage,
and it's crying out for us.

1405
01:02:03,757 --> 01:02:07,962
Here! Come on, gang.
(GRUNTS) The stage is calling.

1406
01:02:08,028 --> 01:02:09,698
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen...

1407
01:02:09,763 --> 01:02:12,933
(WILD AND CRAZIES
SHRIEKING, VOCALIZING)

1408
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,769
(GRUNTS, IMITATES FARTING) Hey!

1409
01:02:15,836 --> 01:02:19,373
(GRUNTS) Whoo! (VOCALIZES)
MONKEY: My mum's a nun.
My mum's a nun. (VOCALIZES)

1410
01:02:19,440 --> 01:02:21,208
Hey, just hang on a second.
Mate... mate, sorry... sorry.

1411
01:02:21,308 --> 01:02:23,177
Look, look,
you have to do this, please.

1412
01:02:23,277 --> 01:02:24,979
I'm sure there are
some sick kids at that school.

1413
01:02:25,045 --> 01:02:26,615
If there's not, I'll bring some.
Just name your price.

1414
01:02:26,681 --> 01:02:31,252
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
(THE WILD AND CRAZIES
WHOOP, LAUGH, CHEER)

1415
01:02:31,318 --> 01:02:37,124
Ho-hey! Hey-ho!
(IMITATES FARTING, LAUGHS)

1416
01:02:37,191 --> 01:02:39,093
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Uh, one second.

1417
01:02:39,159 --> 01:02:41,596
Aren't small, intimate venues
what your group is all about?

1418
01:02:41,895 --> 01:02:44,666
Not this.
Not this, big live TV studios.

1419
01:02:44,898 --> 01:02:46,200
Do you see my point?

1420
01:02:46,300 --> 01:02:47,234
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

1421
01:02:47,636 --> 01:02:49,537
LION: (WHISPERS) Where is he?
(WHISPERS)
I don't know. Just go.

1422
01:02:50,004 --> 01:02:52,039
Go, go, go. We're live! (LAUGHS)

1423
01:02:52,106 --> 01:02:54,174
Hey, kids,
we're the Wild and Crazies.

1424
01:02:54,241 --> 01:02:55,976
And we're gonna sing a song
about all the things...
Yeah!

1425
01:02:56,043 --> 01:02:57,411
...your bodies can do!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

1426
01:02:57,478 --> 01:02:58,946
Yeah!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

1427
01:02:59,013 --> 01:03:03,784
Ah, ah! Hang on, hang on.
(SNEEZES, FARTS)

1428
01:03:03,851 --> 01:03:07,187
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

1429
01:03:07,254 --> 01:03:11,492
Oh, Monkey, are you okay?
I did a toot.

1430
01:03:11,559 --> 01:03:13,460
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
(SINGS) <i>♪ Everybody toots... ♪</i>

1431
01:03:13,528 --> 01:03:16,163
I mean... I mean--
Hold on. Isn't this selling out?

1432
01:03:16,698 --> 01:03:20,602
We are not sellouts.
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

1433
01:03:20,669 --> 01:03:23,370
All right, don't push me then.
Don't touch my costume!

1434
01:03:23,470 --> 01:03:26,440
Don't touch me, you freak.
(ELEPHANT GROANS)

1435
01:03:26,508 --> 01:03:27,408
Hold on a minute!

1436
01:03:27,975 --> 01:03:30,010
(BURPS) Oh, hang on a minute.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

1437
01:03:30,077 --> 01:03:32,781
<i>Do you know when you do a burp,</i>
<i>and suddenly you can taste it?</i>

1438
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:36,551
<i>Mine tastes of bananas,</i>
<i>'cause that's my entire diet!</i>

1439
01:03:36,651 --> 01:03:38,419
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
LION: Monkey!

1440
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:40,522
(SINGS) <i>♪ Everybody burps ♪</i>
What? Sorry.

1441
01:03:40,588 --> 01:03:41,822
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

1442
01:03:41,889 --> 01:03:43,190
LION: (SINGS)
<i>♪ Everybody burps... ♪</i>

1443
01:03:43,290 --> 01:03:47,094
Get off! (GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS) I'm gonna kick...

1444
01:03:47,595 --> 01:03:49,798
Hey, guess what?
Don't tell everyone,

1445
01:03:49,863 --> 01:03:52,801
but sometimes I get
a bit of an itchy bottom,

1446
01:03:52,866 --> 01:03:57,037
and my finger really stinks
of old bananas.

1447
01:03:57,171 --> 01:03:59,808
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Monkey! (GROANS)

1448
01:03:59,873 --> 01:04:02,711
(CHUCKLES) And you?
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

1449
01:04:02,777 --> 01:04:04,546
Mm! Ah!
LION: (YELLS) Monkey!

1450
01:04:04,612 --> 01:04:06,013
What?
Monkey! (GROANS)

1451
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:08,750
Sorry.
(SINGS) <i>♪ Wash your hands... ♪</i>

1452
01:04:08,849 --> 01:04:10,685
D'you know you're now
my least favorite Crazy,

1453
01:04:10,752 --> 01:04:13,954
do you know that?
(GROANS, GRUNTS)

1454
01:04:14,021 --> 01:04:15,289
ELEPHANT: I don't care.

1455
01:04:16,090 --> 01:04:19,259
And I don't care about
your stupid little kid either.

1456
01:04:20,361 --> 01:04:21,328
(GROANS)

1457
01:04:21,862 --> 01:04:27,034
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)

1458
01:04:27,968 --> 01:04:29,136
(GRUNTS)
MONKEY: Oi!

1459
01:04:29,503 --> 01:04:32,640
(AUDIENCE BOOING, SCREAMING)
MONKEY:
Kids, don't worry, don't...

1460
01:04:32,973 --> 01:04:34,475
Oi, oi, oi!
(ELEPHANT GROANS)

1461
01:04:34,576 --> 01:04:39,146
MONKEY: <i>Hey!</i>
<i>Give me that guitar!</i>
(CROWD CLAMORING OVER TV)

1462
01:04:40,447 --> 01:04:43,083
(GROANS)
(SCREAMS)

1463
01:04:43,150 --> 01:04:46,153
Uh... (CHUCKLES) ...hello. Um...
(GRUNTS) I'm gonna get you.

1464
01:04:46,220 --> 01:04:48,422
MONKEY:
Violence doesn't solve anything.

1465
01:04:48,523 --> 01:04:50,825
As a pacifist myself,
I've often found that

1466
01:04:50,891 --> 01:04:52,459
the best way
to deal with something

1467
01:04:52,527 --> 01:04:53,360
is talking.

1468
01:04:53,427 --> 01:04:55,095
This is the excitement...
(BRIAN GRUNTS)

1469
01:04:55,162 --> 01:04:56,497
...of live television.
(AUDIENCE GASPING)

1470
01:04:56,564 --> 01:04:58,700
You never know
what's gonna happen. (LAUGHS)

1471
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,968
BRIAN: Monkey, you're gonna--
I would say
that peace, love, and--

1472
01:05:01,034 --> 01:05:02,537
(AUDIENCE GASPING, SCREAMING)
(GASPS)

1473
01:05:02,604 --> 01:05:04,371
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

1474
01:05:04,438 --> 01:05:06,508
(LAUGHS)
(MONKEY GROANS OVER TV)

1475
01:05:06,574 --> 01:05:07,509
Don't watch it.

1476
01:05:07,842 --> 01:05:13,046
(LAUGHS)
(CROWD CLAMORING OVER TV)

1477
01:05:13,113 --> 01:05:16,718
(SINGS) <i>♪ Everybody toots</i>
<i>Toots, toots, toots... ♪</i>

1478
01:05:17,351 --> 01:05:18,887
(STATIC OVER TV)
(TV BEEPING)

1479
01:05:18,986 --> 01:05:23,323
(INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRACE GIGGLES)

1480
01:05:29,196 --> 01:05:30,899
(MUSIC FADES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1481
01:05:30,964 --> 01:05:32,199
(DOOR CLANGING)

1482
01:05:33,802 --> 01:05:36,203
(KEYS JINGLING)

1483
01:05:37,705 --> 01:05:38,606
Hello?

1484
01:05:39,206 --> 01:05:42,142
Excuse me, could I get
another phone call, please?

1485
01:05:42,242 --> 01:05:44,612
My brother was supposed
to be here hours ago.

1486
01:05:45,045 --> 01:05:47,448
Hello? Excuse me! (GROANS)

1487
01:05:49,016 --> 01:05:51,853
(EXHALES)
I... I can see my own breath!

1488
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:53,287
(EXHALES)
(DOOR CLANGING)

1489
01:05:55,055 --> 01:05:57,057
Is Jeff here?
POLICE CONSTABLE: Out you go.

1490
01:06:01,863 --> 01:06:04,064
CUSTODY SERGEANT:
Sign that for me, please.
Oh, you took your time.

1491
01:06:04,131 --> 01:06:06,534
Ah. What a fun way
to say thank you.

1492
01:06:06,601 --> 01:06:07,535
Are you real?

1493
01:06:07,902 --> 01:06:09,236
I just spent
the entire night in there.

1494
01:06:09,303 --> 01:06:10,605
I was absolutely terrified.

1495
01:06:10,672 --> 01:06:12,005
I cried loads.
You're welcome.

1496
01:06:12,072 --> 01:06:13,608
I was just at a gong bath...
(BRIAN SIGHS)

1497
01:06:13,675 --> 01:06:14,509
...with Guru Nova Avalon.

1498
01:06:15,008 --> 01:06:16,544
Wild. And Kate Winslet
was there...
CUSTODY SERGEANT: Thank you.

1499
01:06:16,544 --> 01:06:17,812
...but I couldn't tell,
it was dark.

1500
01:06:17,879 --> 01:06:19,179
BRIAN: I swear to God...
Thank you so much.

1501
01:06:19,246 --> 01:06:20,648
...if I don't make it
to my presentation...

1502
01:06:20,748 --> 01:06:21,816
Hey, I saw you on the telly.

1503
01:06:22,216 --> 01:06:23,718
Is it only
children's entertainers

1504
01:06:23,852 --> 01:06:27,154
that you punch these days?
Oh. (LAUGHS)
Jeff, shut your mouth, please.

1505
01:06:27,221 --> 01:06:30,725
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CELLPHONE RINGS, VIBRATES)

1506
01:06:33,761 --> 01:06:35,229
Hi.
BRIAN: Hiya, love.

1507
01:06:35,295 --> 01:06:36,898
Yeah, yeah, no,
I'm with Jeff now.

1508
01:06:36,965 --> 01:06:38,600
He's just got here.
Look, I know I messed up.

1509
01:06:38,666 --> 01:06:40,167
I... I... I know,
I know, I'm so sorry.

1510
01:06:40,234 --> 01:06:41,536
I just--
I don't know what came over me.

1511
01:06:41,636 --> 01:06:43,136
I'm just-- Oh, sorry.
DRUNK WOMAN: I can walk.

1512
01:06:43,270 --> 01:06:45,005
DRUNK WOMAN:
I'm fine, I can walk myself!
All right, darling?

1513
01:06:45,072 --> 01:06:46,440
Honestly, Brian, I just...

1514
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:48,810
I don't really know
what to say to you right now.

1515
01:06:48,910 --> 01:06:49,811
Yeah, I know.

1516
01:06:49,978 --> 01:06:51,278
I... I just wanted
to do something bold.

1517
01:06:51,345 --> 01:06:52,514
Something that would
excite Dylan,

1518
01:06:52,580 --> 01:06:53,380
and impress the school.

1519
01:06:53,447 --> 01:06:54,782
I'm an absolute idiot.
I really am.

1520
01:06:54,949 --> 01:06:57,217
You are.
SARAH: (OVER CELLPHONE)
<i>Well that's an understatement.</i>

1521
01:06:57,685 --> 01:06:59,453
Dylan saw it all, by the way.

1522
01:06:59,554 --> 01:07:01,154
Great example
you're setting there.

1523
01:07:01,221 --> 01:07:02,824
BRIAN: Okay, but please know
how sorry I am.

1524
01:07:02,891 --> 01:07:03,791
I really am.

1525
01:07:04,157 --> 01:07:05,593
And I promise I'll make it up
to you and Dylan.

1526
01:07:05,660 --> 01:07:06,426
I really will.

1527
01:07:06,594 --> 01:07:08,161
<i>Right, I have to get</i>
<i>to the presentation.</i>

1528
01:07:08,228 --> 01:07:09,631
I'll call in
and see you after, yeah?

1529
01:07:09,731 --> 01:07:11,298
Wish me luck. Love you.

1530
01:07:11,365 --> 01:07:12,567
I love you. Love you so much.

1531
01:07:12,634 --> 01:07:14,334
Can you just drive?
That's so nice.

1532
01:07:14,434 --> 01:07:16,203
Can you just drive, please?
JEFF: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

1533
01:07:16,538 --> 01:07:18,940
(GRUNTS) Take that.
What's this?

1534
01:07:19,373 --> 01:07:20,942
JEFF: You can't go in
dressed like that.

1535
01:07:21,009 --> 01:07:22,376
You look like
you're selling magazines.

1536
01:07:22,476 --> 01:07:24,211
I'm not wearing your clothes.
What do you mean, my clothes?

1537
01:07:24,311 --> 01:07:26,079
I'm not wearing--
You... you dress like Tintin.

1538
01:07:26,146 --> 01:07:27,047
Just hurry up and go.

1539
01:07:27,849 --> 01:07:29,751
You should be so lucky
to dress like Tintin.
(SIGHS) Come on, let's go!

1540
01:07:29,751 --> 01:07:30,718
Okay, don't wanna alarm you.

1541
01:07:30,985 --> 01:07:33,021
The car doesn't have
a lot of charge.
(SEATBELT CLICKING)

1542
01:07:33,555 --> 01:07:34,889
JEFF: Where are you going?
Where are you going?

1543
01:07:35,023 --> 01:07:36,858
BRIAN: I'm gonna get
the bus, Jeff.
JEFF: Where are you go--

1544
01:07:36,925 --> 01:07:38,960
Don't get the bus,
you'll get mugged!
(CAR DOOR CLOSING)

1545
01:07:39,293 --> 01:07:42,964
(COMMITTEE MEMBERS MURMURING)
Just... just give him
a little more time.

1546
01:07:43,031 --> 01:07:45,098
No, seriously,
three more minutes,

1547
01:07:45,165 --> 01:07:46,066
nothing else.

1548
01:07:46,534 --> 01:07:49,169
I promise you,
his son is quite extraordinary.

1549
01:07:49,236 --> 01:07:50,337
You're going to--

1550
01:07:52,306 --> 01:07:54,542
Brian, you made it!
Sorry, I got locked up.

1551
01:07:54,609 --> 01:07:55,810
(GROANS)
I meant locked up
into a meeting.

1552
01:07:55,910 --> 01:07:59,013
I'm so sorry. Sorry.
(COMMITTEE MEMBERS MURMURING)

1553
01:07:59,379 --> 01:08:02,416
Gosh, it's a...
interesting outfit.

1554
01:08:02,517 --> 01:08:05,687
Uh, Brian, could you take
the podium, please?

1555
01:08:06,286 --> 01:08:09,289
Yeah. (BREATHES HEAVILY)

1556
01:08:13,327 --> 01:08:15,663
I'm very sorry, I haven't...
I haven't prepared anything.

1557
01:08:15,930 --> 01:08:17,065
Um, I...

1558
01:08:17,331 --> 01:08:18,967
SYLVIA: That's all right.
That's all right, Brian.
Yeah.

1559
01:08:19,033 --> 01:08:20,100
SYLVIA: Just, um...

1560
01:08:20,267 --> 01:08:22,971
Brian, what do you think
that Puggsley could do

1561
01:08:23,037 --> 01:08:24,237
for your son, Dylan?

1562
01:08:24,539 --> 01:08:30,410
Okay, uh...
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Um...

1563
01:08:32,013 --> 01:08:33,380
The Puggsley Academy
of Excellence

1564
01:08:33,447 --> 01:08:35,583
can give my son
the opportunities that...

1565
01:08:36,684 --> 01:08:37,719
that I never had.

1566
01:08:40,888 --> 01:08:42,590
I was a football star at school.

1567
01:08:43,992 --> 01:08:44,892
My coach and my dad,

1568
01:08:45,158 --> 01:08:47,361
they... they were prepping me
for the pros.

1569
01:08:48,029 --> 01:08:49,496
I barely went to class.

1570
01:08:50,531 --> 01:08:53,101
And me teachers
passed me, but...
(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING)

1571
01:08:53,166 --> 01:08:54,802
...no one cared
to push me because...

1572
01:08:55,536 --> 01:08:58,773
'cause I was a star.
And then I broke my ankle.

1573
01:08:59,807 --> 01:09:03,111
I couldn't play anymore.
There I was, 18, and...

1574
01:09:03,176 --> 01:09:06,179
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
...and quite washed up, I was.

1575
01:09:08,616 --> 01:09:09,517
So, I...

1576
01:09:10,317 --> 01:09:11,218
so, I left school,

1577
01:09:11,586 --> 01:09:13,054
and I started digging ditches
on construction sites

1578
01:09:13,121 --> 01:09:14,488
for the next five years.

1579
01:09:15,455 --> 01:09:17,025
I didn't make it back
to university

1580
01:09:17,091 --> 01:09:17,992
till my late 20s,

1581
01:09:18,325 --> 01:09:20,427
and... and I struggled
through business school.

1582
01:09:20,695 --> 01:09:24,264
(SIGHS) I did...
I did everything backwards.

1583
01:09:26,500 --> 01:09:29,302
And I... I just don't want Dylan
to make the same mistake.

1584
01:09:30,370 --> 01:09:31,371
Don't get me wrong...

1585
01:09:32,140 --> 01:09:34,609
the world needs ditch diggers
as much as it needs doctors,

1586
01:09:34,676 --> 01:09:37,745
but... I just want Dylan
to have the choice...

1587
01:09:38,646 --> 01:09:40,148
to be a doctor
or a ditch digger,

1588
01:09:40,213 --> 01:09:41,649
if... if that's what he wants.

1589
01:09:50,457 --> 01:09:52,392
And I believe
that Puggsley can give my son

1590
01:09:52,459 --> 01:09:54,629
the freedom
that... that I never had.

1591
01:09:56,831 --> 01:09:58,198
Thank you very much
for listening to me.

1592
01:09:58,265 --> 01:10:00,434
I'm... I'm sorry
I didn't have anything...

1593
01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:01,636
I didn't have anything prepared.

1594
01:10:01,703 --> 01:10:03,470
Uh, I... I did,
but... don't matter.

1595
01:10:03,538 --> 01:10:05,472
That was...
that was wonderful, Brian.
BRIAN: Thank you.

1596
01:10:05,540 --> 01:10:07,775
Thank you so much. Thank you.
BRIAN: Thank you. I'll just--

1597
01:10:07,875 --> 01:10:10,243
Thank you very much. Cheers.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1598
01:10:12,613 --> 01:10:17,217
(DOOR OPENING)
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

1599
01:10:17,284 --> 01:10:18,385
(GASPS)

1600
01:10:20,320 --> 01:10:23,024
Brian, did you meet
the Wild and Crazies?

1601
01:10:23,091 --> 01:10:24,625
Oh, that's right,
of course you have.

1602
01:10:25,193 --> 01:10:26,426
But don't worry,
I... I told them...

1603
01:10:26,493 --> 01:10:27,995
I told them you're going
through a rough time.

1604
01:10:28,062 --> 01:10:30,565
All right?
All's forgiven. All right?

1605
01:10:35,970 --> 01:10:39,107
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)

1606
01:10:39,173 --> 01:10:40,074
Sha.
Sha.

1607
01:10:40,208 --> 01:10:41,709
ELEPHANT: Sha!
MONKEY: Sha-da-di-dah!

1608
01:10:45,847 --> 01:10:49,282
(SINGS)
<i>♪ She's not just a pretty face ♪</i>

1609
01:10:49,784 --> 01:10:53,087
<i>♪ She'll build rockets</i>
<i>To outer space ♪</i>

1610
01:10:53,588 --> 01:10:58,391
<i>♪ Einstein's got nothing</i>
<i>On my Grace ♪</i>

1611
01:11:01,729 --> 01:11:05,265
<i>♪ No children's book</i>
<i>She hasn't read ♪</i>

1612
01:11:05,666 --> 01:11:09,036
<i>♪ She almost never wets</i>
<i>The bed ♪</i>

1613
01:11:09,302 --> 01:11:13,741
<i>♪ She is my everything</i>
<i>My Grace ♪</i>

1614
01:11:16,210 --> 01:11:21,448
<i>♪ Whoo-ooh, say Grace ♪</i>

1615
01:11:23,584 --> 01:11:26,988
<i>♪ And when her daddy</i>
<i>Has to leave town ♪</i>

1616
01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:30,323
<i>♪ You cross her</i>
<i>And I'll cut you down ♪</i>

1617
01:11:30,992 --> 01:11:35,797
<i>♪ She is my little miracle</i>
<i>My Grace ♪</i>

1618
01:11:38,966 --> 01:11:40,868
<i>♪Yes, she is ♪</i>

1619
01:11:41,736 --> 01:11:44,304
(IMITATES MONKEY CHATTERING)
(SINGS) <i>♪ My little miracle ♪</i>

1620
01:11:45,840 --> 01:11:47,440
<i>♪ My Grace ♪</i>

1621
01:11:47,775 --> 01:11:51,712
<i>♪ Whoo-ooh ♪</i>
God, he's... he's so good.

1622
01:11:51,779 --> 01:11:53,881
<i>♪ Say Grace ♪</i>

1623
01:11:54,749 --> 01:11:58,619
THE WILD AND CRAZIES:
♪ <i>Whoo-ooh ♪</i>
<i>♪ Whoo-ooh ♪</i>

1624
01:11:58,686 --> 01:12:04,058
THE WILD AND CRAZIES:
<i>♪ Say Grace ♪</i>
<i>♪ Say Grace ♪</i>

1625
01:12:04,125 --> 01:12:05,458
(MUSIC FADES)

1626
01:12:05,793 --> 01:12:08,563
(COMMITTEE MEMBERS
CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
(LAUGHS) That's great, Alan.

1627
01:12:09,030 --> 01:12:11,833
(CHUCKLES) That's extraordinary.

1628
01:12:14,902 --> 01:12:16,804
Hey, we'll see you
at the restaurant opening.

1629
01:12:17,038 --> 01:12:19,073
Jeff?
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

1630
01:12:19,140 --> 01:12:20,641
I'm gonna need those tickets.

1631
01:12:22,810 --> 01:12:27,782
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1632
01:12:29,917 --> 01:12:33,054
Two quacking ducks, 22.
(RESIDENTS QUACKING)

1633
01:12:33,120 --> 01:12:35,523
Hello, everyone.
How are you all?

1634
01:12:35,590 --> 01:12:37,258
You okay?
Brian, we've missed you.

1635
01:12:37,592 --> 01:12:39,193
And I have missed you lot...
Hi!

1636
01:12:39,260 --> 01:12:40,828
Hi, Janice. Are you okay?
JANICE: Hello.

1637
01:12:40,895 --> 01:12:43,231
I have come
to take you all out for dinner.

1638
01:12:43,297 --> 01:12:45,266
How does that sound?
(RESIDENTS CHEERING)

1639
01:12:45,365 --> 01:12:47,134
What about Sarah?
BRIAN: Sarah knows.

1640
01:12:47,235 --> 01:12:49,136
Hi!
Hiya, Janice. You okay?

1641
01:12:49,203 --> 01:12:52,640
Right. I've got prize tickets
to a restaurant opening.

1642
01:12:52,740 --> 01:12:54,407
Yeah?
(RESIDENTS CHEERING)

1643
01:12:54,474 --> 01:12:55,475
So, this way, everyone.

1644
01:12:55,843 --> 01:12:57,511
Come on, Janice, get your coat.
Let's do this!
Hi.

1645
01:12:57,578 --> 01:13:01,983
("SEX BOOST" BY SAM NEIDER
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1646
01:13:10,490 --> 01:13:15,129
<i>♪ Do you want</i>
<i>Another love drug? ♪</i>

1647
01:13:16,297 --> 01:13:21,168
<i>♪ Maybe you need another toy? ♪</i>

1648
01:13:21,235 --> 01:13:23,571
Oh, you gotta try one of these,
this is the best.
Really?

1649
01:13:23,638 --> 01:13:24,739
They're all great,
but I would try

1650
01:13:24,805 --> 01:13:26,439
that one right there. Yeah.
Oh, wow.

1651
01:13:26,507 --> 01:13:28,309
Right, in you get.
Come on, spread out.

1652
01:13:28,376 --> 01:13:29,977
Bar's over there,
so help yourselves.

1653
01:13:30,410 --> 01:13:31,345
Don't be shy.

1654
01:13:31,646 --> 01:13:33,581
Just do Jägerbombs.
Ask for a Jägerbomb.

1655
01:13:33,981 --> 01:13:35,383
Jägerbombs all round
for everybody.

1656
01:13:35,750 --> 01:13:37,685
Alright, dancing,
dancing, dancing.

1657
01:13:37,818 --> 01:13:41,622
You got a babysitter, Jan?
Uh, pardon me for one second.

1658
01:13:47,295 --> 01:13:48,896
Hi.
Oh, hi, Alano.

1659
01:13:48,996 --> 01:13:50,264
What... what...
what... what is this?

1660
01:13:50,331 --> 01:13:51,464
These are your radio winners.

1661
01:13:51,565 --> 01:13:52,733
No, those are not
my radio winners.

1662
01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:53,801
What are you talking about?

1663
01:13:54,501 --> 01:13:56,804
BRIAN: Well, they've all got
a ticket, Alan, so...
ALAN: What? (GRUNTS)

1664
01:13:57,905 --> 01:14:01,042
What are you doing?
Huh? Are you try--

1665
01:14:01,108 --> 01:14:03,911
Sorry, Sebastian.
Champagne's for toffs.
(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

1666
01:14:03,978 --> 01:14:05,212
He smells like urine.

1667
01:14:05,279 --> 01:14:06,514
Yeah, he does.
You smell that?

1668
01:14:06,981 --> 01:14:08,616
What are you doing?
I can get rid of them.

1669
01:14:08,683 --> 01:14:10,450
I can get rid
of them all right now.
What... (GRUNTS)

1670
01:14:10,518 --> 01:14:12,086
BRIAN: I'll take them
for fish and chips.

1671
01:14:12,153 --> 01:14:13,220
Just relinquish your spot.

1672
01:14:13,321 --> 01:14:14,622
(GLASSES SHATTERING)
(SIGHS)

1673
01:14:14,689 --> 01:14:16,958
Oh, oh! Oh!
(RESIDENT 1 GRUNTS)

1674
01:14:17,024 --> 01:14:20,027
You get 'em out of here
if I step down.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

1675
01:14:22,462 --> 01:14:27,668
(CHUCKLES, GROANS)
(RESIDENT 1 CHUCKLES, GROANS)

1676
01:14:27,735 --> 01:14:32,273
<i>♪ I'm your little devil</i>
<i>Sink my teeth in deep ♪</i>

1677
01:14:32,373 --> 01:14:36,877
(PENSIVE MUSIC OVERLAPPING)

1678
01:14:37,979 --> 01:14:38,879
Never.

1679
01:14:40,948 --> 01:14:43,184
It's on, pal. It is on.
Okay.

1680
01:14:43,284 --> 01:14:44,352
You hear me?
I do.

1681
01:14:44,484 --> 01:14:45,820
It is so on.
Okay.

1682
01:14:45,920 --> 01:14:47,088
It is so on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1683
01:14:47,154 --> 01:14:48,856
You are gonna regret
the day you met me.

1684
01:14:48,923 --> 01:14:50,658
I already do.
ALAN: You're going down.

1685
01:14:52,226 --> 01:14:53,127
Judy...

1686
01:14:54,261 --> 01:14:55,196
where is everyone?

1687
01:14:55,529 --> 01:14:57,365
JUDY: They went out to eat
with Brian, remember?

1688
01:14:57,999 --> 01:15:00,500
What?
JUDY: Some restaurant opening.

1689
01:15:00,701 --> 01:15:03,371
He has prize tickets.
He said you knew.

1690
01:15:03,437 --> 01:15:05,973
<i>♪ I'm your little angel ♪</i>

1691
01:15:06,073 --> 01:15:08,376
<i>♪ Dance on blood</i>
<i>That's from your heart ♪</i>

1692
01:15:08,442 --> 01:15:09,643
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

1693
01:15:09,710 --> 01:15:10,945
What are you doing?
What are you doing?

1694
01:15:11,145 --> 01:15:13,314
What are you doing? Give me--
(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY, GROANS)

1695
01:15:13,381 --> 01:15:14,715
(ALAN GRUNTS)
(CROWD GASPING)

1696
01:15:14,782 --> 01:15:16,384
SEBASTIAN: That's no way
to treat a lady!

1697
01:15:16,450 --> 01:15:18,886
Oh, my God.
Alan, uh, a towel?

1698
01:15:18,986 --> 01:15:20,788
I'm sorry.
SYLVIA: Can... can I...
can I get a towel?

1699
01:15:20,855 --> 01:15:21,856
Yes, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1700
01:15:21,989 --> 01:15:23,424
Oh, let me... let me get...
SYLVIA: Towel?

1701
01:15:23,557 --> 01:15:24,892
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Get off!

1702
01:15:24,959 --> 01:15:27,361
(ALAN GRUNTS)
If you take another one
of my drinks,

1703
01:15:27,428 --> 01:15:29,363
I'm gonna kick your ass!
(CROWD GASPING)

1704
01:15:29,430 --> 01:15:32,533
SEBASTIAN: I fought
in Korea, you know. (GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS) You're so strong.

1705
01:15:32,967 --> 01:15:36,203
I'll see you Monday, Alan.
No, Mrs. Lawrence, hold on.

1706
01:15:36,270 --> 01:15:37,238
SYLVIA: Excuse me. Excuse me.

1707
01:15:37,304 --> 01:15:39,240
(SEBASTIAN GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS) Come on!

1708
01:15:40,241 --> 01:15:44,245
Hey! Uh, get... get off me!
I haven't finished with him yet!

1709
01:15:44,311 --> 01:15:46,547
RESIDENT 2: Go on, Sebastian...

1710
01:15:51,552 --> 01:15:52,653
(SNIFFLES)

1711
01:16:04,432 --> 01:16:06,000
(INHALES DEEPLY)

1712
01:16:07,501 --> 01:16:09,403
(MUSIC FADES)

1713
01:16:09,470 --> 01:16:10,371
Are you gonna give me

1714
01:16:10,438 --> 01:16:12,239
the silent treatment
or not then?

1715
01:16:14,241 --> 01:16:15,142
No.

1716
01:16:16,677 --> 01:16:18,746
No. I'm gonna do
the opposite of that.

1717
01:16:19,447 --> 01:16:20,347
I'm gonna talk,

1718
01:16:20,614 --> 01:16:22,349
and for once, Brian,
you're gonna listen to me.

1719
01:16:23,751 --> 01:16:26,353
You've been acting
like an absolute lunatic.

1720
01:16:27,021 --> 01:16:30,559
I... (SCOFFS) ...I love how much
you care about Dylan's future,

1721
01:16:30,624 --> 01:16:31,892
I admire your passion,

1722
01:16:31,959 --> 01:16:33,661
But this isn't even
about him anymore, is it?

1723
01:16:33,727 --> 01:16:35,029
It's about you.

1724
01:16:37,198 --> 01:16:38,099
Like...

1725
01:16:39,200 --> 01:16:41,735
you've been in fights,
you've been in jail,

1726
01:16:41,902 --> 01:16:43,437
you've kidnapped
senior citizens.

1727
01:16:43,504 --> 01:16:45,206
I mean, who does that?

1728
01:16:46,907 --> 01:16:49,877
I was on board
with applying to Puggsley.

1729
01:16:49,944 --> 01:16:52,113
I stand by that
no matter what, right?

1730
01:16:52,179 --> 01:16:54,815
But we need to get back
to making decisions together.

1731
01:16:55,749 --> 01:16:58,919
We are a brilliant team
when we're on the same page.

1732
01:16:59,987 --> 01:17:02,156
Can we please get back on it?

1733
01:17:04,593 --> 01:17:05,493
Okay?
Yeah.

1734
01:17:05,560 --> 01:17:06,660
SARAH: Right.

1735
01:17:07,628 --> 01:17:10,264
(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

1736
01:17:11,432 --> 01:17:14,068
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

1737
01:17:14,835 --> 01:17:16,937
LAUREN: Found you.
Hey.

1738
01:17:18,305 --> 01:17:19,206
LAUREN: Hi.

1739
01:17:23,477 --> 01:17:24,778
It'll be all right.

1740
01:17:27,781 --> 01:17:28,682
We'll sort this.

1741
01:17:29,183 --> 01:17:31,919
There isn't a single problem
we can't find a way to fix.

1742
01:17:32,753 --> 01:17:34,054
I know
this night was huge for you,

1743
01:17:34,121 --> 01:17:36,056
and I know
how hard you've worked.

1744
01:17:36,457 --> 01:17:37,791
But I also know this business,

1745
01:17:37,858 --> 01:17:39,760
and I know
how many challenges there are,

1746
01:17:39,827 --> 01:17:42,296
and this is
just a minor setback.

1747
01:17:44,098 --> 01:17:45,199
It's a glitch.

1748
01:17:51,772 --> 01:17:53,874
Steel sharpens steel, remember?

1749
01:17:55,743 --> 01:18:00,981
(INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING)

1750
01:18:06,487 --> 01:18:07,388
Yeah.

1751
01:18:09,156 --> 01:18:10,124
Yeah, I know.

1752
01:18:25,574 --> 01:18:27,474
What the...
(MUSIC FADES)

1753
01:18:29,743 --> 01:18:31,345
Oh, you must be mad.

1754
01:18:34,014 --> 01:18:39,086
Eh, mate, oi!
What's this? What's going on?

1755
01:18:40,721 --> 01:18:42,557
What's going on?
What's all this?

1756
01:18:42,691 --> 01:18:44,258
We have to shut you down
for the next few weeks

1757
01:18:44,325 --> 01:18:46,093
until we get the situation
under control.

1758
01:18:46,160 --> 01:18:48,362
Few weeks?
Mate, I can't afford a few days.

1759
01:18:48,429 --> 01:18:49,129
We've had no issues.

1760
01:18:49,430 --> 01:18:51,465
I have never seen
an infestation of this degree

1761
01:18:51,533 --> 01:18:52,567
in my entire career.

1762
01:18:52,667 --> 01:18:54,501
This entire area
is a health hazard.

1763
01:18:54,569 --> 01:18:56,036
It can't be that bad, surely?

1764
01:18:56,671 --> 01:18:58,506
Have you seen them?
Seen what?

1765
01:18:58,607 --> 01:19:00,040
My hands are tied. I'm sorry.

1766
01:19:00,274 --> 01:19:01,909
I'll be sending you out
some official paperwork

1767
01:19:01,976 --> 01:19:04,579
for you to fill out ASAP.
And there's lots of it.

1768
01:19:04,945 --> 01:19:08,516
Best of luck to you.
Brilliant. Wicked.

1769
01:19:10,050 --> 01:19:11,051
(YELLS) No!

1770
01:19:17,324 --> 01:19:20,227
What's happened?
Alan has happened, Sarah.

1771
01:19:20,294 --> 01:19:21,696
SARAH: What?
He's infested me.

1772
01:19:22,029 --> 01:19:24,331
Infested you with what?
I don't know, I don't know,

1773
01:19:24,398 --> 01:19:26,267
but they've shut...
they've shut me down for weeks.

1774
01:19:26,333 --> 01:19:28,737
What?
Who does that?
How'd you do that?

1775
01:19:28,802 --> 01:19:32,039
How'd you...
how'd you start an infestation?
(INSECT SKITTERING)

1776
01:19:32,106 --> 01:19:34,141
BRIAN: He's obviously
a sociopath, isn't he?

1777
01:19:35,710 --> 01:19:37,845
Uh, babe, babe.
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

1778
01:19:38,479 --> 01:19:39,346
He knew!
SARAH: Just...

1779
01:19:39,413 --> 01:19:42,316
He bloody knew
that this'd mess me up.

1780
01:19:42,483 --> 01:19:44,619
I'd be more freaked out
if I weren't so pissed off.

1781
01:19:44,686 --> 01:19:46,186
He's a very sick man.
He needs help.

1782
01:19:46,253 --> 01:19:50,057
(EXHALES) Babe, just--
Will you just stay calm...
BRIAN: What?

1783
01:19:50,625 --> 01:19:52,860
...and just--
Sorry. Just because--

1784
01:19:52,926 --> 01:19:55,429
Just... just on... on--
It's on you.

1785
01:19:56,531 --> 01:19:57,464
Just stay calm.

1786
01:19:57,931 --> 01:20:04,038
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
(SCREAMS, ECHOES, FADES)

1787
01:20:12,046 --> 01:20:13,314
Brian, what...
what are you doing?

1788
01:20:13,380 --> 01:20:16,383
Brian, you're scaring me.
Look at your face!

1789
01:20:16,450 --> 01:20:18,852
We've gotta go to the hospital.
What are you doing?

1790
01:20:18,986 --> 01:20:21,822
Hey, Brian, you taking
the day off from work?

1791
01:20:21,889 --> 01:20:23,057
What... what are you doing?

1792
01:20:23,123 --> 01:20:25,059
Brian, what are you doing
with that?

1793
01:20:25,125 --> 01:20:27,762
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
(DISTORTED) Brian!

1794
01:20:28,530 --> 01:20:31,832
Well, uh, there's something
very wrong with your face.

1795
01:20:31,899 --> 01:20:33,200
(GRUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

1796
01:20:33,267 --> 01:20:34,501
Yeah, I... I...
I can't understand

1797
01:20:34,569 --> 01:20:35,269
what you're saying.

1798
01:20:35,502 --> 01:20:36,705
Maybe it's 'cause your face
is so huge.

1799
01:20:36,771 --> 01:20:39,206
(GRUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

1800
01:20:39,273 --> 01:20:41,041
(STUTTERS) I don't know
what you're saying.

1801
01:20:41,108 --> 01:20:44,044
(SCREAMS, GRUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

1802
01:20:44,278 --> 01:20:44,978
Brian, stop it.

1803
01:20:45,312 --> 01:20:46,447
Brian, don't you dare.
Whoa, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1804
01:20:46,614 --> 01:20:48,082
What are you doing?
SARAH: Brian, stop it! Don't...

1805
01:20:48,215 --> 01:20:49,917
Brian, what... what...
what are you doing?
Stop it! Brian?

1806
01:20:49,983 --> 01:20:51,418
What are you doing?

1807
01:20:51,485 --> 01:20:54,388
(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)

1808
01:20:54,455 --> 01:21:00,127
(IN SLOW MOTION)
No! No! No, no, no!

1809
01:21:00,260 --> 01:21:03,397
(HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh my God!

1810
01:21:04,298 --> 01:21:08,302
(ALAN BREATHES HEAVILY)
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

1811
01:21:09,269 --> 01:21:10,605
Oh, my God.

1812
01:21:11,438 --> 01:21:12,306
(GRUNTS)

1813
01:21:12,406 --> 01:21:14,475
(SLEDGEHAMMER THUDS)
SARAH: Lauren!

1814
01:21:14,576 --> 01:21:17,978
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

1815
01:21:24,318 --> 01:21:29,890
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

1816
01:21:32,660 --> 01:21:37,364
(BOTH SCREAM, GRUNT)

1817
01:21:37,431 --> 01:21:39,567
(LAUGHS)

1818
01:21:39,634 --> 01:21:43,571
(GROANS)
(PANTS, GRUNTS)

1819
01:21:43,638 --> 01:21:46,206
(BOTH PANT)

1820
01:21:46,775 --> 01:21:50,512
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS, GROANS)

1821
01:21:50,645 --> 01:21:55,215
(BOTH PANT, GRUNT)

1822
01:22:01,689 --> 01:22:02,724
BRIAN: What are you doing?

1823
01:22:03,357 --> 01:22:05,192
I wouldn't want you
to forget this.

1824
01:22:05,459 --> 01:22:06,393
Alan!

1825
01:22:07,762 --> 01:22:10,164
No! No!
Oh, felt so good.

1826
01:22:10,230 --> 01:22:16,336
("LIBIAMO NE'LIETI CALICI"
PLAYING)
(BOTH GRUNT)

1827
01:22:27,481 --> 01:22:29,950
Hold on, hold on. (GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)

1828
01:22:32,854 --> 01:22:37,090
I'm gonna body flip you off!
(GRUNTS, GROANS)
(BREATHES HEAVILY, GROANS)

1829
01:22:39,293 --> 01:22:40,929
(BOTH GRUNT)

1830
01:22:40,994 --> 01:22:43,497
(BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY)

1831
01:22:45,098 --> 01:22:49,970
(BOTH GRUNT, GROAN)

1832
01:22:53,741 --> 01:22:57,512
Oh, no! (STRAINS) Brian!
(GRUNTS)

1833
01:22:58,713 --> 01:23:01,114
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)

1834
01:23:02,382 --> 01:23:07,622
(GRUNTS, SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS) Yeah, I got you!

1835
01:23:07,689 --> 01:23:08,388
Don't break it!

1836
01:23:08,590 --> 01:23:09,858
I'll break your arm.
ALAN: I'll break it.

1837
01:23:09,924 --> 01:23:11,593
BRIAN: I'll break your arm,
by God!

1838
01:23:11,659 --> 01:23:16,163
What is going on?
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop! Stop it, guys! Stop!

1839
01:23:16,230 --> 01:23:18,031
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY)

1840
01:23:18,098 --> 01:23:19,132
What are you doing?

1841
01:23:19,634 --> 01:23:21,368
He came rolling in here
like a troll...
(MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

1842
01:23:21,435 --> 01:23:25,840
wielding an actual weapon.
And he destroyed our family...

1843
01:23:26,073 --> 01:23:27,441
Babe, he destroyed
our family history

1844
01:23:27,509 --> 01:23:28,208
with a sledgehammer.

1845
01:23:28,843 --> 01:23:30,310
Uh, I don't care
about the statue.
There's nothing this guy...

1846
01:23:30,310 --> 01:23:31,613
I hate that statue.
It's not even real.

1847
01:23:31,679 --> 01:23:33,515
What?
I made the whole thing up
to impress you, Alan

1848
01:23:33,581 --> 01:23:35,583
I got it from a garden center
in Chiswick.

1849
01:23:35,984 --> 01:23:37,952
There used
to be a beautiful big oak tree

1850
01:23:38,018 --> 01:23:38,920
in that spot there,

1851
01:23:39,152 --> 01:23:41,623
filled with birds,
and bees, and insects.

1852
01:23:41,689 --> 01:23:42,456
Sorry to mention it, Brian.

1853
01:23:42,657 --> 01:23:44,491
But my great-great-grandfather
cut it down

1854
01:23:44,559 --> 01:23:46,561
during an argument about
where his land ended.

1855
01:23:46,628 --> 01:23:48,530
And so I can see
the cycle is continuing.

1856
01:23:48,897 --> 01:23:50,264
Carry on then.
Beat each other up.

1857
01:23:50,330 --> 01:23:53,133
Knock it all down! (SCREAMS)

1858
01:23:53,200 --> 01:23:55,904
(SIGHS DEEPLY) Fix it.

1859
01:23:56,638 --> 01:24:01,776
Yeah. Fix yourselves.
Brian, this is embarrassing.

1860
01:24:01,976 --> 01:24:05,513
You've lost it.
I am this close. Yeah?

1861
01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:07,916
I need a drink.
Yeah, so do I.

1862
01:24:07,982 --> 01:24:09,951
Do you want to go for a drink?
Yes, I do.

1863
01:24:10,050 --> 01:24:11,218
Sort it out!

1864
01:24:12,386 --> 01:24:17,759
(GRUNTS, BREATHES HEAVILY)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)

1865
01:24:26,568 --> 01:24:27,501
Get off.

1866
01:24:29,269 --> 01:24:31,438
I just think you need a doctor.
Yeah, I-- Yeah.

1867
01:24:32,472 --> 01:24:37,144
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING)

1868
01:24:50,424 --> 01:24:53,027
Spiders, really?
Hmm. Yeah.

1869
01:24:53,393 --> 01:24:55,262
Uh, you... you destroyed
my restaurant.

1870
01:24:56,296 --> 01:24:58,432
It's an early-bird
special diner now.

1871
01:24:59,166 --> 01:25:00,568
So, yeah, spiders.

1872
01:25:01,970 --> 01:25:04,171
Well, I'm very sorry
about your restaurant.

1873
01:25:07,274 --> 01:25:08,876
I'm sorry about your face.

1874
01:25:10,945 --> 01:25:12,580
Thank you.
Yeah.

1875
01:25:13,014 --> 01:25:14,749
Does it hurt?
BRIAN: Yeah.

1876
01:25:15,282 --> 01:25:16,718
It looks really stupid.

1877
01:25:18,086 --> 01:25:19,787
I'm very aware of that.

1878
01:25:21,355 --> 01:25:23,223
Your cardigan looks stupid.

1879
01:25:30,497 --> 01:25:34,102
Seems like, uh, Lauren and Sarah
really hit it off.

1880
01:25:34,401 --> 01:25:37,371
Mm.
Right? (EXHALES DEEPLY)

1881
01:25:37,471 --> 01:25:38,539
I bet they're having
a good laugh

1882
01:25:39,040 --> 01:25:41,341
at our expense right now.
Oh, I don't think
they're laughing.

1883
01:25:42,275 --> 01:25:44,211
(UPBEAT MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
LAUREN: Mm!

1884
01:25:44,378 --> 01:25:45,312
Mm!

1885
01:25:46,981 --> 01:25:50,618
Oh, uh... (EXHALES)
Oh wowzers. Oh, no.

1886
01:25:51,251 --> 01:25:53,387
I just need Alan to realize
that he's enough.

1887
01:25:54,022 --> 01:25:55,123
He's more than enough.

1888
01:25:55,222 --> 01:25:56,524
I mean, Brian's had
his own business

1889
01:25:56,591 --> 01:25:57,525
since he was 21.

1890
01:25:57,592 --> 01:25:59,326
I have no idea
what he's trying to prove.

1891
01:25:59,393 --> 01:26:00,862
LAUREN: Idiots!
It's ridiculous.

1892
01:26:01,796 --> 01:26:02,697
God.

1893
01:26:06,266 --> 01:26:07,635
D'you know...

1894
01:26:11,039 --> 01:26:13,206
I realize
I got way too obsessed.

1895
01:26:16,144 --> 01:26:17,912
Not just about a preschool spot,

1896
01:26:18,278 --> 01:26:19,947
even though
that is very important...

1897
01:26:20,848 --> 01:26:21,749
but also...

1898
01:26:22,784 --> 01:26:25,285
I just want Dylan to have
everything that you have.

1899
01:26:26,854 --> 01:26:29,123
And I... I feel like
such a fraud

1900
01:26:29,557 --> 01:26:31,291
trying to get him into a school
that's so different

1901
01:26:31,358 --> 01:26:33,226
to anything
that I had growing up.

1902
01:26:37,431 --> 01:26:39,332
You've earned
everything you got.

1903
01:26:41,769 --> 01:26:42,469
You went out there,

1904
01:26:42,837 --> 01:26:44,337
and you built something
for yourself, that's...

1905
01:26:44,404 --> 01:26:47,407
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
It's impressive.

1906
01:26:48,308 --> 01:26:51,713
Me, I'm just... I'm just good
at seeming impressive.

1907
01:26:52,245 --> 01:26:53,346
BRIAN: Mm!
(GRUNTS)

1908
01:26:53,413 --> 01:26:56,283
When I met Alan,
we fell in love so quickly,

1909
01:26:56,416 --> 01:26:59,219
and we tried for babies
for a long time.

1910
01:27:00,121 --> 01:27:01,254
And IVF.

1911
01:27:01,321 --> 01:27:03,290
And then we were told,
"No, not possible."

1912
01:27:03,390 --> 01:27:05,026
And I was 39 and terrified.

1913
01:27:05,258 --> 01:27:07,995
So, we stopped trying,
and moved on with our lives.

1914
01:27:08,196 --> 01:27:10,464
SARAH: Hmm.
And then, out of the blue...

1915
01:27:11,532 --> 01:27:14,535
Grace,
our little miracle arrived.

1916
01:27:16,470 --> 01:27:17,972
ALAN: <i>Grace has got</i>
<i>to be better than me.</i>

1917
01:27:19,439 --> 01:27:20,608
She's gonna carve her own path.

1918
01:27:20,675 --> 01:27:23,343
She's not gonna depend
on the good fortune

1919
01:27:23,443 --> 01:27:25,813
of others to find her way, no.

1920
01:27:26,981 --> 01:27:28,783
No. (EXHALES DEEPLY)

1921
01:27:28,850 --> 01:27:32,019
Well, it looks like
we just want the same thing.
Yeah.

1922
01:27:32,319 --> 01:27:33,955
What's best for our children.

1923
01:27:35,455 --> 01:27:37,324
It's not an easy thing
to figure out though, is it?

1924
01:27:37,390 --> 01:27:40,494
(LAUGHS) No. Nope, not at all.
Yeah.

1925
01:27:40,762 --> 01:27:42,395
LAUREN:
<i>This whole preschool thing,</i>

1926
01:27:42,764 --> 01:27:44,799
it's given me
quite a bit of anxiety.

1927
01:27:44,866 --> 01:27:45,566
Yeah.

1928
01:27:46,033 --> 01:27:48,301
It's the beginning of them
getting older, isn't it?

1929
01:27:48,401 --> 01:27:50,538
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Yeah.

1930
01:27:51,205 --> 01:27:52,540
I never thought
I'd be the type of mother

1931
01:27:52,607 --> 01:27:53,808
to get weepy
about this kind of thing.

1932
01:27:53,908 --> 01:27:56,043
But I... I like my Gracie
being at home with me

1933
01:27:56,110 --> 01:27:57,979
all the time.
Uh, she's my best friend.

1934
01:27:58,045 --> 01:27:58,980
Isn't that pathetic?

1935
01:27:59,279 --> 01:28:02,049
It's not pathetic at all.
They're our babies.

1936
01:28:02,717 --> 01:28:05,219
But let's just remember,
it's just preschool.

1937
01:28:05,285 --> 01:28:08,022
Hmm.
They're still gonna need us
for everything else. (CHUCKLES)

1938
01:28:08,523 --> 01:28:11,526
And hey, why don't you take
those five extra hours a day,

1939
01:28:11,592 --> 01:28:13,628
and do something that you love?
(SCOFFS)

1940
01:28:13,861 --> 01:28:17,231
I don't know
what that is anymore. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah, me neither. (CHUCKLES)

1941
01:28:17,799 --> 01:28:20,635
But... we could
figure it out together.

1942
01:28:22,469 --> 01:28:24,839
You know, Dylan has
just as good a shot as Grace

1943
01:28:24,906 --> 01:28:27,108
at getting into that school.
Money is not everything.

1944
01:28:27,175 --> 01:28:29,076
Oh, I know. I know that.

1945
01:28:30,545 --> 01:28:31,646
The more I've gotten
to know you,

1946
01:28:31,746 --> 01:28:35,783
the more I know that to be true.
(LAUGHS, GROANS)

1947
01:28:35,883 --> 01:28:38,820
Yeah, well, I'm sure
Grace enjoys her big house.

1948
01:28:38,920 --> 01:28:41,388
Ah, I just never felt
comfortable there, you know?

1949
01:28:41,454 --> 01:28:42,857
It just doesn't feel like home.

1950
01:28:42,924 --> 01:28:44,759
It's...
Smelly.

1951
01:28:44,892 --> 01:28:47,862
It's what?
What were you gonna say
about the house?

1952
01:28:48,296 --> 01:28:49,263
What were you gonna
say about...?

1953
01:28:49,429 --> 01:28:50,898
I said "smelly."
But what were you gonna say?

1954
01:28:50,998 --> 01:28:54,001
What do you mean, "smelly"?
'Cause your house
is a bit smelly.

1955
01:28:55,603 --> 01:28:57,872
Smelly drapes.
Hmm?

1956
01:28:58,239 --> 01:28:59,807
I said you've got smelly drapes.

1957
01:28:59,874 --> 01:29:01,609
You smelled my drapes?
BRIAN: Yeah.

1958
01:29:01,742 --> 01:29:04,846
Why... why... why would you...
why would you do that?

1959
01:29:05,445 --> 01:29:06,848
I just smell things.

1960
01:29:07,447 --> 01:29:11,085
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
(AMBULANCE SIRENS WAILING)

1961
01:29:12,753 --> 01:29:18,092
(PANTS)
Please. No... no, honestly.

1962
01:29:18,893 --> 01:29:21,696
(PANTS)

1963
01:29:29,170 --> 01:29:30,137
(CAR HORN HONKING)

1964
01:29:36,544 --> 01:29:37,778
(CAR DOOR OPENING)

1965
01:29:41,481 --> 01:29:44,652
Oh, Alan, you look terrible.

1966
01:29:44,752 --> 01:29:48,122
And... and... and... you look
very fancy, Roze.

1967
01:29:48,222 --> 01:29:49,489
ROZE: Um, uh...

1968
01:29:52,026 --> 01:29:52,927
(SCOFFS)

1969
01:29:56,731 --> 01:29:57,665
What?

1970
01:29:57,965 --> 01:30:00,801
(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES)

1971
01:30:02,003 --> 01:30:02,904
(ALAN SNIFFLES)

1972
01:30:11,078 --> 01:30:13,881
ALAN: Come on, love.
There we go.

1973
01:30:14,782 --> 01:30:15,683
Good girl.

1974
01:30:17,385 --> 01:30:18,786
Hiya.
LAUREN: Hi!

1975
01:30:18,886 --> 01:30:19,887
Moment of truth.

1976
01:30:20,021 --> 01:30:23,958
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
No hard feelings either way.

1977
01:30:25,159 --> 01:30:28,696
Gracie, Dylan, this way.
We're going to that school.

1978
01:30:28,930 --> 01:30:30,231
SARAH: Come on.
ALAN: Come on.

1979
01:30:30,298 --> 01:30:32,533
Here we go.
What do you think
of that place, Dylan?

1980
01:30:32,600 --> 01:30:34,135
(MUMBLES) It's all right.

1981
01:30:54,855 --> 01:30:57,959
(MUSIC FADES)
(DOOR OPENING)

1982
01:31:01,529 --> 01:31:02,596
(EXHALES)

1983
01:31:06,434 --> 01:31:07,868
Right, uh...

1984
01:31:10,338 --> 01:31:11,639
Mrs. Lawrence, what is it?

1985
01:31:12,573 --> 01:31:14,008
Is something wrong? You okay?

1986
01:31:14,075 --> 01:31:16,476
Oh, I... I'm very sorry
for keeping you waiting.

1987
01:31:16,544 --> 01:31:18,478
(CHUCKLES) And, um...

1988
01:31:20,047 --> 01:31:23,718
Well, I... I... I'm even sorrier
for what I'm about to tell you.

1989
01:31:25,886 --> 01:31:27,955
There's no longer an open slot.

1990
01:31:28,255 --> 01:31:29,290
It's been filled.

1991
01:31:29,523 --> 01:31:31,926
I... I'm so sorry
for disappointing all of you.

1992
01:31:31,993 --> 01:31:34,695
Uh, it's... it's nothing
to do with your children.

1993
01:31:35,096 --> 01:31:36,897
No, un... unfortunately...

1994
01:31:37,965 --> 01:31:39,567
nepotism has reared
its ugly head,

1995
01:31:39,633 --> 01:31:40,835
and the owner
is sending her niece

1996
01:31:41,068 --> 01:31:43,571
who's just moved down here
with her family from Cambridge.

1997
01:31:43,637 --> 01:31:45,206
I'm so sorry.
(BRIAN EXHALES)

1998
01:31:46,540 --> 01:31:51,045
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)

1999
01:31:51,112 --> 01:31:56,951
(GROUP LAUGHS)

2000
01:31:59,520 --> 01:32:04,025
(GROANS, COUGHS)
(GROANS)

2001
01:32:04,125 --> 01:32:06,394
Wow.
Mm! (CHUCKLES) Um...

2002
01:32:06,460 --> 01:32:09,196
Who's the owner?
My mother-in-law.

2003
01:32:12,533 --> 01:32:13,634
Yeah.
Right, okay.

2004
01:32:13,701 --> 01:32:15,970
Shall we? Thanks then.
(LAUREN LAUGHS)

2005
01:32:16,637 --> 01:32:18,507
ALAN: It's been fun, Sylvia.
Thank you.
(DOOR OPENING)

2006
01:32:19,040 --> 01:32:23,044
(EXHALES) Okay, Grace,
time to go.
ALAN: All right, Gracie.

2007
01:32:24,945 --> 01:32:28,482
Uh, excuse me. Um, Excuse me.
Where are our children?

2008
01:32:29,116 --> 01:32:31,619
I don't understand.
They were just here.

2009
01:32:31,685 --> 01:32:33,687
Nope, not anymore.
I had to take a call.

2010
01:32:33,754 --> 01:32:37,124
Uh, so sorry.
Uh, they can't be far.

2011
01:32:37,191 --> 01:32:37,892
Uh, excuse me, mate.

2012
01:32:38,059 --> 01:32:39,593
Did you see
a girl and a boy leave here?

2013
01:32:39,693 --> 01:32:41,829
Yeah, they left
a few minutes ago.

2014
01:32:41,929 --> 01:32:44,131
You didn't find that strange?
JANITOR: Look around.

2015
01:32:44,533 --> 01:32:46,067
Everything about this place
is strange.

2016
01:32:46,167 --> 01:32:47,536
Okay, uh, where did they go?

2017
01:32:47,601 --> 01:32:49,538
Uh, I think they found
their way to Julie.

2018
01:32:49,637 --> 01:32:51,305
Well, who's Julie?
Hopscotch.

2019
01:32:51,405 --> 01:32:52,706
Oh.
Oh, that's the, uh...

2020
01:32:52,807 --> 01:32:56,710
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(KIDS CHATTERING)

2021
01:33:07,054 --> 01:33:09,924
(ALAN GROANS, GRUNTS)
BRIAN: Oh!
Watch your head, mate.

2022
01:33:10,758 --> 01:33:12,993
JULIE: There you go. Good work.

2023
01:33:13,194 --> 01:33:16,565
Excuse me.
Oh, great. There you are.

2024
01:33:16,730 --> 01:33:18,966
Uh, we have a couple
of very cute kids

2025
01:33:19,033 --> 01:33:21,068
who I think might belong
to you guys? (CHUCKLES)

2026
01:33:21,168 --> 01:33:22,069
Yes!
Yes!

2027
01:33:22,136 --> 01:33:24,071
They're just through there.
Oh, thank God.

2028
01:33:24,138 --> 01:33:24,905
Thank you.
Thanks.

2029
01:33:25,005 --> 01:33:26,440
They've only been here
for a moment,

2030
01:33:26,508 --> 01:33:28,442
but they have jumped right in.

2031
01:33:28,510 --> 01:33:29,944
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES) Look at that.

2032
01:33:30,010 --> 01:33:32,913
I'm Julie. Oh, sorry. I'm Julie.

2033
01:33:32,980 --> 01:33:34,782
I was gonna go next door
to find you,

2034
01:33:34,849 --> 01:33:36,518
but you saved me the track.
Well, we thank you

2035
01:33:36,585 --> 01:33:37,918
for... for looking after
the kids, Julie.
Yeah.

2036
01:33:37,985 --> 01:33:40,087
Oh, no worries.
How did you know
we were next door?

2037
01:33:40,154 --> 01:33:42,189
Oh, you would be surprised
how often this happens

2038
01:33:42,256 --> 01:33:44,225
during Puggsley's
registration season. (CHUCKLES)

2039
01:33:44,492 --> 01:33:45,426
Really?
Really?

2040
01:33:45,527 --> 01:33:47,061
Yeah. I mean,
don't get me wrong,

2041
01:33:47,128 --> 01:33:50,030
I think they're running
a very impressive institution

2042
01:33:50,097 --> 01:33:50,798
over there.

2043
01:33:51,031 --> 01:33:53,634
But, you know,
not right for every child.

2044
01:33:53,701 --> 01:33:54,668
Hmm.
Hmm.

2045
01:33:54,735 --> 01:33:55,636
If you'll excuse me,

2046
01:33:55,803 --> 01:33:56,937
I'd better go prep
a few activities.

2047
01:33:57,004 --> 01:33:58,806
But feel free to walk around.

2048
01:33:58,906 --> 01:34:00,307
Thank you.
Thank you.

2049
01:34:01,108 --> 01:34:03,844
DYLAN: "Get up.
It's time to do your puzzle."

2050
01:34:03,911 --> 01:34:06,747
"Come on,
math equations are fun."

2051
01:34:06,814 --> 01:34:09,450
"We want you
to be strong and smart

2052
01:34:09,518 --> 01:34:11,018
so you could be the best!"

2053
01:34:11,452 --> 01:34:13,254
"What about playing
hide and seek?"

2054
01:34:13,354 --> 01:34:16,891
"No hide and seek.
Hide and seek is for dumb kids."

2055
01:34:17,725 --> 01:34:19,727
GRACE: "But I want
to ride my bike."

2056
01:34:19,827 --> 01:34:22,463
DYLAN: "After you learn
how to be an astronaut."

2057
01:34:22,531 --> 01:34:24,098
"Don't you want to be the best?"

2058
01:34:24,165 --> 01:34:27,501
"You've got to put in the work
if you're going to be the best."

2059
01:34:27,602 --> 01:34:29,236
GRACE: "Okay, Dad,
you're right."

2060
01:34:29,303 --> 01:34:32,507
"I want to be the best."
DYLAN: "That's my girl!"

2061
01:34:32,574 --> 01:34:33,974
Oh, you found us!

2062
01:34:34,108 --> 01:34:35,577
Hey, that was great!
That was great, honey.

2063
01:34:35,644 --> 01:34:39,446
What a performance! (CHUCKLES)
Hello, kid. That was brilliant.

2064
01:34:39,581 --> 01:34:41,081
(TENDER MUSIC PLAYING)
BRIAN: Come on, lad.

2065
01:34:41,215 --> 01:34:43,984
It was, uh-- It was--
It was wonderful, darling.

2066
01:34:48,822 --> 01:34:50,224
JULIE: So, what'd you think
of the place?

2067
01:34:50,291 --> 01:34:52,193
I mean, it...
it does look like a lot of fun.

2068
01:34:52,293 --> 01:34:54,596
JULIE: Yeah. We want them
to love to learn.

2069
01:34:54,663 --> 01:34:57,498
Just like us,
they're pushed too hard,

2070
01:34:57,566 --> 01:35:00,901
we get burnt out and bitter
and we quit. (CHUCKLES)

2071
01:35:00,968 --> 01:35:02,703
We don't want that.
Agreed.

2072
01:35:02,770 --> 01:35:05,105
To burn out by the age of six
would be very tragic.

2073
01:35:05,172 --> 01:35:05,906
Hmm.
Yeah.

2074
01:35:06,373 --> 01:35:08,309
BRIAN: What do we need to do
to get our kids into the school?

2075
01:35:08,375 --> 01:35:09,376
JULIE: Oh, you just sign up.

2076
01:35:09,443 --> 01:35:10,978
You just sign up? That's it?

2077
01:35:11,045 --> 01:35:13,113
Yeah. And then I put together
a monthly schedule

2078
01:35:13,180 --> 01:35:14,683
so you know
what your kids are up to.

2079
01:35:14,815 --> 01:35:16,951
Uh... can we leave them here?

2080
01:35:17,017 --> 01:35:19,453
Well, we can
sign you all up, and then...

2081
01:35:19,753 --> 01:35:20,955
come and pick them up at 04:00?

2082
01:35:21,021 --> 01:35:22,756
Okay. Thank you, Julie.
Okay.

2083
01:35:22,823 --> 01:35:25,359
(CHUCKLES) Wow.
(SCOFFS)

2084
01:35:27,061 --> 01:35:28,462
LAUREN: I want to play here.

2085
01:35:28,530 --> 01:35:32,766
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

2086
01:36:30,891 --> 01:36:34,895
By the power vested in me
by... the Internet...

2087
01:36:34,962 --> 01:36:36,665
(BOTH LAUGH)
(GUESTS LAUGHING)

2088
01:36:36,765 --> 01:36:39,500
...I now pronounce you
husband and wife!

2089
01:36:39,567 --> 01:36:40,934
Kiss me, you hairy beast!

2090
01:36:41,001 --> 01:36:42,936
(GUESTS CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

2091
01:36:43,003 --> 01:36:45,674
(BOTH LAUGH)
("CAN WE FORGET"
BY ALEXSUCKS PLAYING)

2092
01:36:45,740 --> 01:36:47,542
I can't believe we're family!

2093
01:36:47,841 --> 01:36:50,545
(IN DISTORTED VOICE)
We're family!

2094
01:36:50,612 --> 01:36:54,683
Well, no, love, definitely
not family at all, is he?

2095
01:36:54,749 --> 01:36:56,183
<i>No matter what.</i>

2096
01:36:56,483 --> 01:36:59,820
<i>♪ Did you forget? ♪</i>

2097
01:36:59,887 --> 01:37:01,989
<i>♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪</i>

2098
01:37:02,056 --> 01:37:06,628
<i>♪ Wasting my time again ♪</i>

2099
01:37:06,894 --> 01:37:11,533
<i>♪ Say, we could fall in love ♪</i>

2100
01:37:11,599 --> 01:37:13,668
<i>♪ Run away and start anew ♪</i>

2101
01:37:13,802 --> 01:37:19,139
♪ <i>I wish I knew what's best</i> ♪

2102
01:37:19,206 --> 01:37:24,411
<i>♪ Why are we so dumb? ♪</i>

2103
01:37:24,478 --> 01:37:30,851
♪ <i>Now I hate you, oh</i>
<i>And you hate me ♪</i>

2104
01:37:32,319 --> 01:37:36,658
<i>♪ Oh, ah, ah ♪</i>

2105
01:37:36,924 --> 01:37:38,526
<i>♪ Can we just forget? ♪</i>

2106
01:37:38,593 --> 01:37:42,996
<i>♪ Oh, ah, ah ♪</i>

2107
01:37:43,063 --> 01:37:44,699
<i>♪ I need you again ♪</i>

2108
01:37:44,766 --> 01:37:48,969
<i>♪ Oh, ah, ah ♪</i>

2109
01:37:49,036 --> 01:37:50,938
♪ <i>Can we just forget</i> ♪

2110
01:37:51,004 --> 01:37:55,844
<i>♪ Oh, ah, ah ♪</i>

2111
01:37:56,009 --> 01:37:57,911
<i>♪ I need you again ♪</i>

2112
01:37:58,979 --> 01:38:04,151
<i>♪ Doo-doo-doo, do-doo-doo ♪</i>

2113
01:38:04,853 --> 01:38:08,088
<i>♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪</i>

2114
01:38:09,289 --> 01:38:13,026
♪ <i>Cause I've seen you out</i>
<i>With someone I used to know</i> ♪

2115
01:38:13,093 --> 01:38:15,864
<i>♪ Wasted drunk leaving</i>
<i>Now I'm going home ♪</i>

2116
01:38:15,963 --> 01:38:17,931
<i>♪ Now my brain</i>
<i>Is playing with me ♪</i>

2117
01:38:17,998 --> 01:38:21,569
(CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
<i>♪ I need to go ♪</i>

2118
01:38:21,636 --> 01:38:24,873
<i>♪ Cause it's hard to leave you</i>
<i>When I see you again ♪</i>

2119
01:38:24,972 --> 01:38:27,241
(MUSIC STOPS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

2120
01:38:28,442 --> 01:38:30,545
Oh, hello. Guess what?

2121
01:38:30,879 --> 01:38:33,615
This morning,
I've been a very big boy,

2122
01:38:33,981 --> 01:38:35,617
or a very big monkey,

2123
01:38:35,750 --> 01:38:38,520
and I put on my nappy
all by myself!

2124
01:38:38,853 --> 01:38:41,556
Do you want to do that too?
I bet you do.

2125
01:38:41,623 --> 01:38:42,791
'Cause sometimes...

2126
01:38:43,056 --> 01:38:46,427
your grown-ups might be
a bit too busy to help you.

2127
01:38:46,493 --> 01:38:51,098
So, you can impress them
by putting it through one leg,

2128
01:38:51,533 --> 01:38:56,604
and then the other,
and then pulling it up really...

2129
01:38:57,705 --> 01:39:01,208
slowly, so it's nice and tight.

2130
01:39:01,275 --> 01:39:05,078
Flap it over like that.
Flap it over like that.

2131
01:39:05,145 --> 01:39:08,550
And then breathe in.
(INHALES SHARPLY)

2132
01:39:08,683 --> 01:39:10,819
(WHEEZING)
And then make sure that

2133
01:39:10,885 --> 01:39:13,353
nothing can escape
from the other side.

2134
01:39:13,454 --> 01:39:14,856
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Otherwise, you'll have

2135
01:39:14,923 --> 01:39:16,925
a very wet pair of legs.

2136
01:39:16,990 --> 01:39:18,258
But I haven't!

2137
01:39:18,325 --> 01:39:20,394
I've got two lovely
great big legs

2138
01:39:20,461 --> 01:39:23,397
that are nice and dry,
and so have you!

2139
01:39:23,464 --> 01:39:26,534
So, look, we're dressed.
Isn't that brilliant?

2140
01:39:27,535 --> 01:39:29,002
("EVERYBODY TOOTS" PLAYING)
<i>♪ Everybody toots ♪</i>

2141
01:39:29,069 --> 01:39:30,270
<i>♪ Toot, toot! ♪</i>

2142
01:39:30,337 --> 01:39:33,775
<i>♪ Everybody toots ♪</i>
<i>♪ Toot, toot! ♪</i>

2143
01:39:34,041 --> 01:39:38,445
<i>♪ Even mom and dad</i>
<i>And the animals at the zoo ♪</i>

2144
01:39:39,714 --> 01:39:41,516
<i>♪ Everybody toots ♪</i>

2145
01:39:43,952 --> 01:39:47,054
<i>♪ Everybody burps ♪</i>
<i>♪ Burp, burp! ♪</i>

2146
01:39:47,120 --> 01:39:49,858
<i>♪ Everybody burps ♪</i>
<i>♪ Burp, burp! ♪</i>

2147
01:39:49,924 --> 01:39:55,229
<i>♪ We all need to feel relieved</i>
<i>When our tummy hurts ♪</i>

2148
01:39:56,163 --> 01:39:58,232
<i>♪ Everybody burps ♪</i>

2149
01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:03,504
<i>♪ Wash your hands ♪</i>
<i>♪ Scrub, scrub! ♪</i>

2150
01:40:03,571 --> 01:40:06,875
<i>♪ Wash your hands ♪</i>
<i>♪ Scrub, scrub! ♪</i>

2151
01:40:07,107 --> 01:40:08,408
<i>♪ Wipe front to back ♪</i>

2152
01:40:08,475 --> 01:40:11,311
<i>♪ Now back to front</i>
<i>Front to back ♪</i>

2153
01:40:12,714 --> 01:40:14,516
<i>♪ Wash your hands ♪</i>

2154
01:40:16,951 --> 01:40:19,621
<i>♪ Blow your nose ♪</i>
<i>♪ Blow, blow! ♪</i>

2155
01:40:19,687 --> 01:40:22,690
<i>♪ It's like a garden hose ♪</i>
<i>♪ Garden hose! ♪</i>

2156
01:40:22,757 --> 01:40:26,159
<i>♪ Ask for a tissue</i>
<i>To fix the issue ♪</i>

2157
01:40:26,226 --> 01:40:28,061
<i>♪ Don't be gross ♪</i>

2158
01:40:29,096 --> 01:40:31,198
<i>♪ Blow your nose ♪</i>

2159
01:40:32,099 --> 01:40:35,068
<i>♪ Everybody toots ♪</i>
<i>♪ Toot, toot! ♪</i>

2160
01:40:35,135 --> 01:40:38,372
<i>♪ Everybody toots ♪</i>
<i>♪ Toot, toot! ♪</i>

2161
01:40:38,438 --> 01:40:42,877
<i>♪ Even mom and dad</i>
<i>And the animals at the zoo ♪</i>

2162
01:40:43,711 --> 01:40:48,616
<i>♪ Everybody toots ♪</i>
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)

2163
01:40:49,617 --> 01:40:54,689
(CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(CHOIR VOCALIZING)

2164
01:43:47,929 --> 01:43:50,898
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)