1
00:00:02,723 --> 00:00:05,123
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:08,223 --> 00:00:10,323
Well, Rebecca, how are you
on this magnificent day?
3
00:00:10,423 --> 00:00:12,123
None of your business.
4
00:00:12,223 --> 00:00:14,923
(imitating John Wayne):
Well, who stuck a burr
under your saddle, missy?
5
00:00:16,323 --> 00:00:18,823
Sorry, Frasier, I've just been
in a bad mood lately.
6
00:00:18,923 --> 00:00:20,123
Would you like
to talk about it?
7
00:00:20,123 --> 00:00:21,723
It might help
to alleviate your depression.
8
00:00:21,723 --> 00:00:24,323
No, I really wouldn't feel
comfortable talking to you.
9
00:00:24,423 --> 00:00:25,523
Why is that?
10
00:00:25,623 --> 00:00:27,423
Because you know me too well
to think of me as a therapist?
11
00:00:27,523 --> 00:00:29,223
No, because I saw you
dance around this bar
12
00:00:29,323 --> 00:00:31,423
in your underwear, with
swizzle sticks in your ears,
13
00:00:31,423 --> 00:00:33,523
when they brought back
Classic Coke.
14
00:00:35,723 --> 00:00:37,723
Well, granted,
that wasn't my finest hour,
15
00:00:37,823 --> 00:00:39,723
but you can taste
the difference.
16
00:00:41,023 --> 00:00:42,223
Now, Rebecca,
17
00:00:42,323 --> 00:00:43,823
counseling people is what I do.
18
00:00:43,923 --> 00:00:45,423
Please let me help you.
19
00:00:45,423 --> 00:00:47,323
(sighing):
All right, Frasier.
20
00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:49,923
It's just that I can't seem
to make anything work.
21
00:00:50,023 --> 00:00:51,923
Robin is in prison.
22
00:00:52,023 --> 00:00:53,623
I manage this crummy bar.
23
00:00:53,723 --> 00:00:55,023
My career is
at a standstill.
24
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:56,823
I'm miserable.
I'm lonely.
25
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,123
And now,
I have to sell my Mercedes.
26
00:00:59,223 --> 00:01:00,823
I see.
27
00:01:00,923 --> 00:01:04,223
Well, I'll, uh...
I'll give you $5,000 cash
28
00:01:04,223 --> 00:01:06,023
and take over
your payments.
29
00:01:06,123 --> 00:01:06,823
Six thousand firm.
Deal.
30
00:01:06,823 --> 00:01:07,923
Thank you.
31
00:01:08,023 --> 00:01:09,323
Damn!
It's good to heal.
32
00:01:11,423 --> 00:01:13,123
(theme song begins)
33
00:01:15,323 --> 00:01:17,623
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
34
00:01:17,623 --> 00:01:20,423
¶ Takes everything you've got ¶
35
00:01:20,523 --> 00:01:23,123
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
36
00:01:23,123 --> 00:01:25,523
¶ Sure would help a lot
37
00:01:27,023 --> 00:01:30,023
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away ¶
38
00:01:32,023 --> 00:01:34,723
¶ Sometimes you want to go
39
00:01:34,823 --> 00:01:38,223
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
40
00:01:40,223 --> 00:01:44,823
¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
41
00:01:44,823 --> 00:01:47,023
¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
42
00:01:47,123 --> 00:01:49,623
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
43
00:01:49,623 --> 00:01:53,923
¶ You wanna be where everybody
knows your name ¶
44
00:01:55,123 --> 00:01:57,323
¶ You wanna go
where people know ¶
45
00:01:57,323 --> 00:01:59,923
¶ People are all the same
46
00:02:00,023 --> 00:02:04,923
¶ You wanna go where everybody
knows your name. ¶
47
00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:24,490
You know, Sam,
this is a treat.
48
00:02:24,590 --> 00:02:26,390
I've got this side
of the bar to myself.
49
00:02:26,490 --> 00:02:28,290
I can drink my beer
and enjoy my newspaper
50
00:02:28,290 --> 00:02:30,790
without being pummeled on
every side by inane chatter.
51
00:02:30,790 --> 00:02:31,990
Yep.
52
00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:34,990
Say, look...
well, look at this.
53
00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:37,190
There is barometric pressure
on Venus.
54
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,590
Now, how did
they measure that?
55
00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:40,490
Beats me.
56
00:02:40,490 --> 00:02:43,690
A man was reunited with his
twin brother after 30 years.
57
00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:46,390
They worked in the same
auto plant in Columbus, Ohio!
58
00:02:46,390 --> 00:02:48,190
That's nice.
59
00:02:48,190 --> 00:02:50,590
Say, would anybody like me to
read their, uh, their horoscope?
60
00:02:50,590 --> 00:02:51,990
I'll, uh, start with Aries.
61
00:02:51,990 --> 00:02:53,990
Somebody want to play
with Frasier, please?
62
00:02:54,890 --> 00:02:55,890
Hi, Sammy.
63
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:57,590
Sorry I'm late.
64
00:02:57,590 --> 00:03:00,990
There's a prison work crew
in the park across the street.
65
00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:03,890
Man, you should have heard
some of those raunchy,
sleazy, come-ons.
66
00:03:03,990 --> 00:03:05,190
Pretty bad, huh?
Oh, yeah.
67
00:03:05,290 --> 00:03:07,090
I really outdid myself.
68
00:03:07,190 --> 00:03:08,490
I should write a book.
69
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:13,290
Hey, Becks, you know, you might
be interested to know
70
00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:14,990
that one of those cons
out there
71
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:17,790
is your pasty-faced,
billionaire boyfriend.
72
00:03:17,890 --> 00:03:19,690
Robin?
Yeah.
73
00:03:19,790 --> 00:03:21,790
He was out there
picking up trash.
74
00:03:21,790 --> 00:03:25,590
I wonder if he was using
the same line he used on you.
75
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:27,790
My poor, sweet baby.
76
00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:29,790
I better go see him.
77
00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:32,790
Oh, wait--
no, I better not.
78
00:03:32,890 --> 00:03:35,790
If the other guys get jealous,
they might give him a hard time.
79
00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:37,190
But then,
if I don't go see him,
80
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,490
then he'll probably think
that I'm ashamed of him.
81
00:03:39,590 --> 00:03:42,190
But if I see him, it might be
all too painful for him.
82
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,690
What should I do?
I don't know.
83
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,090
What do you think
I should do?
84
00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:47,890
Twins in the same
auto plant?
85
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:50,890
Come on, you guys.
86
00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:52,190
You just don't care.
87
00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:54,390
Honey, I'm trying
like hell to care.
88
00:03:54,490 --> 00:03:56,090
Look, if it means
that much to you,
89
00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:58,990
why don't you run outside
there and blow him a kiss.
90
00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:00,390
Yeah, right.
91
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:03,190
Get him in trouble so he has
to spend the night in the box.
92
00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:04,390
(sarcastically):
Blow him a kiss.
93
00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:07,090
You heartless bastard.
94
00:04:08,690 --> 00:04:11,390
Boy, it must be pretty rough
on ol' Robin Colcord, huh?
95
00:04:11,390 --> 00:04:13,090
One day he's living
in a penthouse,
96
00:04:13,190 --> 00:04:15,390
the next day he's picking up
trash with a stick.
97
00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:17,190
You're loving this,
aren't you, Sammy?
98
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,590
Every minute.
99
00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:23,590
Sam, you missed
a great lunch.
100
00:04:23,590 --> 00:04:26,890
Mr. Clavin and Mr. Peterson
treated me at the Hungry Heifer.
101
00:04:26,990 --> 00:04:27,890
SAM:
How was it?
102
00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:29,990
Wednesday Ribscapade, Sammy.
103
00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:32,290
End of story.
104
00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:33,790
Well, where's
the third member
105
00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:36,690
of your gastronomic
suicide squad?
106
00:04:36,790 --> 00:04:39,290
Mr. Peterson's
still at the Heifer.
107
00:04:39,390 --> 00:04:40,890
Uh, you know,
we got some bad news.
108
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:42,390
They're gonna
tear the place down.
109
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:43,590
Oh, dear!
110
00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:46,590
Well, I can see why Norm would
want to spend some final moments
111
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:49,090
of contemplation in the place
that meant so much to him.
112
00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:50,890
No, no, he was just
sopping up some gravy
113
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,390
with a Parker House roll.
114
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:56,390
Well, each man mourns
in his own way.
115
00:04:56,490 --> 00:04:58,090
I hope it doesn't
hit him too hard.
116
00:04:58,190 --> 00:04:59,190
What's the big deal?
117
00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:01,290
So they're leveling
another beef joint.
118
00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:02,190
Another beef joint?
119
00:05:02,290 --> 00:05:03,690
You obviously
have never been there
120
00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:05,990
for "You Keep
the Hoof" night.
121
00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:08,990
Well, you know, this is
not atypical behavior.
122
00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:10,990
I mean, many people
can form emotional bonds
123
00:05:11,090 --> 00:05:12,390
to significant places
in their lives.
124
00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:14,290
I think we should all
be very sensitive
125
00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:15,790
to what Norm
is going through.
126
00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:17,290
Yeah, you know,
that's a good idea, Fras.
127
00:05:17,390 --> 00:05:18,890
Maybe we shouldn't say anything
to remind him
128
00:05:18,890 --> 00:05:20,690
of the Hungry Heifer
when he comes back here.
129
00:05:20,690 --> 00:05:24,690
You know, maybe not say
any words like, uh,
"beef" or "meat."
130
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:27,690
Sam, what about "meet"
as in, "Let's meet
for dinner tonight?"
131
00:05:29,090 --> 00:05:30,290
Yeah.
That'd be fine, Woody.
132
00:05:30,390 --> 00:05:31,790
Great.
W-Where do you want to go?
133
00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:33,090
You feel like Chinese?
134
00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:38,290
You know, on second thought,
maybe that's not a good idea.
135
00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:40,090
That's why I asked.
136
00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:46,190
Afternoon, everybody.
137
00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:48,590
GROUP:
Norm!
138
00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:49,890
Hey, how's life treatin' you,
there, Norm?
139
00:05:49,990 --> 00:05:51,290
Beats me...
140
00:05:51,290 --> 00:05:55,890
then it kicks me and
leaves me for dead.
141
00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:58,190
Well, here's a... here's a
cold one for you there, buddy.
142
00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:01,390
Hey, uh, Norm,
143
00:06:01,490 --> 00:06:04,190
how about some of these
extra-salty pretzels
144
00:06:04,290 --> 00:06:06,890
you so heartily
enjoy, huh?
145
00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:09,890
You're welcome to share some
of my beer nuts, if you like.
146
00:06:16,490 --> 00:06:18,390
Meat!
147
00:06:18,490 --> 00:06:19,390
(all clamoring)
148
00:06:19,490 --> 00:06:20,690
Aw, everybody was
thinking it!
149
00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:23,590
I was the only one who
had the guts to say it!
150
00:06:25,290 --> 00:06:26,290
We're sorry, man.
151
00:06:26,390 --> 00:06:28,390
We-We-We feel bad
'cause we know how much
152
00:06:28,390 --> 00:06:29,990
the Hungry Heifer means to you.
153
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,390
You don't know
the half of it, Sammy.
154
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,390
I love the Heifer.
155
00:06:33,490 --> 00:06:34,790
SAM:
Aww...
156
00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:36,990
Don't know what I'm gonna do
without that place.
157
00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:39,290
It was like my home
away from Cheers.
158
00:06:43,390 --> 00:06:45,690
If you'll excuse me, guys, I...
159
00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:47,290
just want to be alone.
160
00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:52,790
Hey, whoa! Ho.
161
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,290
Not that alone.
162
00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:58,590
Well, they're carting
the cons away.
163
00:06:58,690 --> 00:06:59,390
Robin's leaving?
164
00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:00,490
Yeah, just loaded him
165
00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:02,790
and his sunburned pals
into the van.
166
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,390
Mm, he was red as a lobster.
167
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:05,690
Bet he blisters.
168
00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:07,190
Carla, honey,
I don't think Rebecca
169
00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:08,890
wants to talk about
this right now.
170
00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:11,090
I mean, after all,
her guy's in jail.
171
00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:13,190
I mean, she's lonely,
she's hurting.
172
00:07:13,290 --> 00:07:14,590
She's a woman in need.
173
00:07:14,690 --> 00:07:17,290
She misses her man.
174
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,090
(sighing):
I do, Sam. I do.
175
00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:23,290
Say, hon...
176
00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:24,990
I just want to say that...
177
00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:27,190
I know what you're going through
right now,
178
00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:29,190
and if there's anything
I can do for you,
179
00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:31,490
or to you...
180
00:07:31,590 --> 00:07:32,790
I'm here for you.
181
00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:35,390
Or there for you or on
the floor for you, it's...
182
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:37,690
Gee, Sam.
183
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:40,590
When you put it like that,
you make me sick.
184
00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:42,190
Well, you think about it,
though--
185
00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:43,890
I mean, 'cause you're thinking
about it right now.
186
00:07:43,990 --> 00:07:45,890
I bet if I took an X-ray
of your brain,
187
00:07:45,990 --> 00:07:48,690
I'd be lying, right
stretched out all naked.
188
00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:51,090
Don't leave out the
tag on your toe.
189
00:07:53,290 --> 00:07:54,890
Would that tag
happen to say:
190
00:07:54,890 --> 00:07:56,790
"For a good time,
follow this leg?"
191
00:07:59,090 --> 00:08:00,290
(laughing):
Whee!
192
00:08:00,290 --> 00:08:02,890
I sure know how
to make my own fun, don't I?
193
00:08:04,390 --> 00:08:08,390
Guys, look, uh, sorry
I was getting all emotional
194
00:08:08,390 --> 00:08:10,390
about the Hungry
Heifer, I mean...
195
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,590
Aw...
196
00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:12,790
It's just that
I'm losing someplace
197
00:08:12,890 --> 00:08:14,190
that's so close
to my heart.
198
00:08:14,190 --> 00:08:17,890
Don't you mean
clogging your heart?
199
00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:19,990
Well, Norm, there are
other restaurants.
200
00:08:19,990 --> 00:08:21,290
NORM:
It's not just
the restaurant,
201
00:08:21,390 --> 00:08:22,590
it's the owner, okay?
202
00:08:22,690 --> 00:08:24,190
Sid Nelson.
203
00:08:24,290 --> 00:08:26,290
He's a funny kind of guy,
you know?
204
00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:28,690
He's all tough on the outside,
205
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:30,790
but really soft and mushy
on the inside.
206
00:08:30,890 --> 00:08:32,590
Hmm. Not unlike his entire menu.
207
00:08:33,890 --> 00:08:35,090
Anyway, Sid was always
there for me.
208
00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:37,290
Not unlike his entire menu.
209
00:08:37,390 --> 00:08:39,490
I remember one
time, in college,
210
00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:42,190
I had to stay up all night
to finish a term paper.
211
00:08:42,290 --> 00:08:45,390
Sid stayed up with me
till we finished it.
212
00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:47,590
We also finished
a two-pound onion loaf.
213
00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:51,190
Well, Norm, I don't blame you
for being depressed.
214
00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:52,290
No... depressed?
215
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:53,590
Come on.
216
00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:55,790
You know, life's only
temporary anyway, right?
217
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:58,590
When you're born,
blah-blah-blah, you die.
218
00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:02,890
Geez, Norm, I-I look at you and
I see a man at a crossroads.
219
00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:05,690
This may be your very first
brush with mortality,
220
00:09:05,690 --> 00:09:07,990
with the temporal
nature of things.
221
00:09:07,990 --> 00:09:10,890
You may feel
futile now,
222
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,190
but there are ways
to combat that.
223
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:14,090
Yeah? How?
224
00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:15,790
Well, by guaranteeing
your own immortality.
225
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:18,890
By leaving your mark
on the world.
226
00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:20,590
He always leaves two
dents on the stool.
227
00:09:20,590 --> 00:09:21,790
Carla, please.
228
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:23,490
Well, he does!
Big ones, too!
229
00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:24,690
When he goes
home at night,
230
00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,590
this stool looks
like it has a Mohawk!
231
00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:29,490
Look, I was hoping
for something
232
00:09:29,590 --> 00:09:30,790
a little more
life-affirming, thank you!
233
00:09:32,590 --> 00:09:36,190
Now, Norm, there are... there
are many roads open to you.
234
00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:38,190
Geez, you... well,
you could do something
235
00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:40,690
to help save the
Hungry Heifer.
236
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:42,990
Or, well, better yet, you
could help do something
to save yourself!
237
00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:44,390
Turn over a new leaf.
238
00:09:44,390 --> 00:09:46,790
You could diet, exercise,
work for a charitable cause.
239
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,790
Or, if you want
the ultimate way
240
00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:50,390
of guaranteeing
your immortality,
241
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:54,190
go home to Vera and start
a family right this minute.
242
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:59,390
Frasier... you are right.
243
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:01,490
When you're right,
you are right!
244
00:10:01,590 --> 00:10:02,790
I am gonna do it!
245
00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:04,190
(friends shouting
encouragement)
246
00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:06,290
I'm gonna save
the Hungry Heifer!
247
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:10,790
Well, what about, uh,
dieting, exercise,
248
00:10:10,890 --> 00:10:12,590
making a baby with Vera?
249
00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:13,890
Pfft!
You do it.
250
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,728
Hey, Sammy.
Hey.
251
00:10:30,728 --> 00:10:32,428
Here you go.
252
00:10:32,528 --> 00:10:33,428
SAM:
Enjoy yourself?
253
00:10:33,528 --> 00:10:35,128
Ho-ho, yeah!
254
00:10:35,128 --> 00:10:37,928
I tell you, you haven't lived
until you've washed a car
255
00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:40,428
in front of
a bunch of drooling cons.
256
00:10:40,528 --> 00:10:41,828
(laughs)
Ooh!
257
00:10:41,928 --> 00:10:44,228
Just like in Cool Hand Luke!
Whoo!
258
00:10:44,328 --> 00:10:45,128
Here you go, Fras.
259
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:46,228
Thank you.
260
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:47,528
What do we got here now?
261
00:10:47,628 --> 00:10:48,628
Uh, Joe... Marty...
262
00:10:48,628 --> 00:10:50,128
Who had the
powder-blue Caddy?
263
00:10:51,928 --> 00:10:53,328
Carla, how's it
going out there?
264
00:10:53,428 --> 00:10:55,128
How does Robin look?
Okay.
265
00:10:55,228 --> 00:10:58,528
He was being pushed around by
this big old hunk of a guard.
266
00:10:58,628 --> 00:11:01,228
His name is Vince
and he has got some muscles,
267
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,728
I'm telling you.
268
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,628
He could snap Robin's neck
like a number-two pencil.
269
00:11:05,728 --> 00:11:07,828
But he didn't hurt
Robin, did he?
270
00:11:07,828 --> 00:11:09,528
I mean, Robin's okay,
isn't he?
271
00:11:09,528 --> 00:11:10,728
Yeah, sure, whatever.
272
00:11:10,828 --> 00:11:12,428
Anyway, then this, uh, Vince,
273
00:11:12,428 --> 00:11:15,128
he gets a load of me
and my bucket of suds
274
00:11:15,228 --> 00:11:16,428
and he starts flexing.
275
00:11:16,428 --> 00:11:19,728
But Robin-- Robin-- he
gets dehydrated easily.
276
00:11:19,828 --> 00:11:20,828
Robin, Robin, Robin.
277
00:11:20,828 --> 00:11:22,628
So your boyfriend's in prison!
Boo-hoo!
278
00:11:22,728 --> 00:11:25,328
Can't you be happy
for someone else for a change?!
279
00:11:28,028 --> 00:11:29,428
Hey, don't listen to her.
280
00:11:29,428 --> 00:11:31,428
She's trying to get
under your skin.
281
00:11:31,528 --> 00:11:34,028
I can see how much this
must be hurting you.
282
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:37,828
Watching the man you
love out there in the
sun all day long
283
00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:39,628
picking up garbage
284
00:11:39,628 --> 00:11:43,728
while a whole city looks
at him, and laughs at him.
285
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,928
Thanks for
understanding, Sam.
Yeah.
286
00:11:47,828 --> 00:11:49,328
You really do relish
this, don't you, Sam?
287
00:11:49,428 --> 00:11:51,228
Every single minute.
288
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:55,428
Come on, stop
moping around.
289
00:11:55,528 --> 00:11:58,428
Look, why don't you do what
any woman would do for her man--
290
00:11:58,528 --> 00:12:02,328
strip to your skivvies,
grab a chamois and wash
a couple of cars.
291
00:12:02,428 --> 00:12:04,428
Get your front wet.
292
00:12:06,128 --> 00:12:07,928
I don't think Robin
would respond
293
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,728
to something cheap
like that.
294
00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:11,328
Oh, yeah? You should
have seen how fast
295
00:12:11,428 --> 00:12:13,428
he stabbed that
trash when I did it.
296
00:12:14,428 --> 00:12:16,028
FRASIER:
Hey, uh, Norm,
297
00:12:16,128 --> 00:12:18,128
how's it going with the petition
to save the Heifer, huh?
298
00:12:18,228 --> 00:12:21,028
Great. Got a hundred more
signatures back there.
Hey, all right.
299
00:12:21,128 --> 00:12:23,328
Although I am getting a little
bit of writer's cramp.
300
00:12:23,428 --> 00:12:26,628
Well, I wish you
luck, Mr. P.
Yeah?
301
00:12:26,728 --> 00:12:29,628
I know how hard it is to get
people to sign a petition.
302
00:12:29,728 --> 00:12:31,828
Yeah, I remember
back in Hanover...
303
00:12:31,928 --> 00:12:34,828
I tried to gather signatures
to rebuild the town band shell
304
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:37,028
after the Fourth
of July explosion.
305
00:12:37,128 --> 00:12:39,728
I had a heck of a time.
306
00:12:39,828 --> 00:12:41,928
I couldn't even get
my Uncle Elwood to sign.
307
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:44,528
Oh. Couldn't even
convince your uncle, huh?
308
00:12:44,628 --> 00:12:46,328
Oh, he was convinced.
309
00:12:46,328 --> 00:12:47,728
He just couldn't
grip the pen.
310
00:12:47,728 --> 00:12:49,328
See, he was,
he was in charge
311
00:12:49,428 --> 00:12:51,528
of lighting
the fireworks.
312
00:12:51,628 --> 00:12:53,328
They had extra small
fuses that year. No-no...
313
00:12:53,428 --> 00:12:56,228
Time to pound
the pavement.
314
00:12:56,228 --> 00:12:57,928
If I get like
a hundred more signatures,
315
00:12:57,928 --> 00:13:00,028
I can bring this petition
over to City Hall.
316
00:13:00,028 --> 00:13:01,328
Good for you.
317
00:13:01,428 --> 00:13:03,628
Frasier, you were
absolutely right.
318
00:13:03,728 --> 00:13:05,528
This feels right.
This feels great.
319
00:13:05,528 --> 00:13:07,228
It's been a long time since
320
00:13:07,228 --> 00:13:08,428
I pounded the bricks
321
00:13:08,528 --> 00:13:10,328
for a cause.
322
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,928
Oh I can't stand thinking
of Robin out there
323
00:13:18,028 --> 00:13:19,928
in the blazing sun.
324
00:13:20,028 --> 00:13:21,228
Aw, honey, well,
I'll tell you what,
325
00:13:21,328 --> 00:13:23,728
let me, uh, let me put on
a song here for you,
326
00:13:23,828 --> 00:13:25,628
take your mind off of things.
327
00:13:25,728 --> 00:13:27,328
No, Sam, that's
not gonna work.
328
00:13:27,428 --> 00:13:28,628
All right, go ahead.
It doesn't...
329
00:13:28,628 --> 00:13:32,128
¶ ...situation thought
I could take them... ¶
330
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,928
Dang it, Sam, turn it off.
331
00:13:35,028 --> 00:13:36,828
¶ For a while, baby...
332
00:13:36,828 --> 00:13:39,228
Is that your idea of a song
that's gonna cheer me up?
333
00:13:39,228 --> 00:13:40,828
Well, hey, it's got
a great beat.
334
00:13:40,928 --> 00:13:42,728
It's easy to pick
up trash to.
335
00:13:42,728 --> 00:13:45,528
You just can go on
with your stupid little idiotic
336
00:13:45,628 --> 00:13:47,728
nasty jokes
because you know what?
337
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:50,628
I love Robin and I'm going
to remain loyal to him,
338
00:13:50,728 --> 00:13:51,928
like it says right there,
339
00:13:52,028 --> 00:13:55,428
B-14, "Stand By Your Man."
340
00:13:55,495 --> 00:13:59,695
¶ I'm just sitting here in... ¶
341
00:13:59,795 --> 00:14:02,995
¶ For a while, baby, I never
thought I could wait... ¶
342
00:14:04,395 --> 00:14:06,995
¶ I'm just sitting here
in... ¶
343
00:14:07,095 --> 00:14:12,095
¶ For a while, baby, I never
thought I could wait... ¶
344
00:14:15,895 --> 00:14:17,495
Cliff, you want to go
shoot some stick?
345
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,595
Let's shoot some
stick, Doctor.
346
00:14:19,595 --> 00:14:21,295
Oh, hey, before you go
back there, Dr. Crane,
347
00:14:21,395 --> 00:14:23,195
I should tell you that
Carla's keeping a guard
348
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:24,295
on the pool table.
349
00:14:24,395 --> 00:14:25,495
Why is she doing that?
350
00:14:25,595 --> 00:14:26,795
I guess she likes him.
351
00:14:31,195 --> 00:14:32,195
Afternoon, everybody.
352
00:14:32,295 --> 00:14:33,895
ALL:
Norm!
353
00:14:33,995 --> 00:14:35,995
Hey, how would a beer
feel, Mr. Peterson?
354
00:14:36,095 --> 00:14:38,695
Pretty nervous if
I was in the room.
355
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:41,395
In fact, let me buy
a beer for everybody, okay?
356
00:14:41,495 --> 00:14:43,495
All right!
Thank you, Norm!
357
00:14:43,495 --> 00:14:45,595
Guys, I have saved
the Hungry Heifer.
358
00:14:45,695 --> 00:14:47,995
(all cheering)
359
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,395
That's great.
How'd you do it?
360
00:14:49,495 --> 00:14:52,395
Well, I went over to
City Hall to drop off
the petition right?
361
00:14:52,495 --> 00:14:54,395
Stopped in to do
a little research.
362
00:14:54,495 --> 00:14:56,495
It turns out that
the Hungry Heifer
363
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:59,195
is the only building on the
entire Eastern Seaboard
364
00:14:59,295 --> 00:15:02,295
that has a giant red-eyed
steam-snorting bull on the roof.
365
00:15:02,295 --> 00:15:04,095
What about Hub's Steak Hut?
366
00:15:04,127 --> 00:15:05,327
It's gone.
367
00:15:05,427 --> 00:15:07,027
Well, Lucky Chucky's
Chuck House?
368
00:15:07,127 --> 00:15:08,327
Struck by lightning.
369
00:15:08,427 --> 00:15:09,627
Bill's Place for Steak?
370
00:15:09,627 --> 00:15:10,827
Stolen.
371
00:15:10,927 --> 00:15:13,227
Wow. That really is
the end of an era.
372
00:15:13,327 --> 00:15:16,127
Yeah.
Wonder who's next.
373
00:15:16,127 --> 00:15:18,327
Are they gonna take down
those big buckets of chicken?
374
00:15:18,427 --> 00:15:20,327
There's a message in
this for the Big Boy:
375
00:15:20,427 --> 00:15:22,927
get rid of those overalls
and get a real job.
376
00:15:23,027 --> 00:15:24,627
Yeah. You know who doesn't
have to worry?
377
00:15:24,727 --> 00:15:26,027
Denny.
378
00:15:26,127 --> 00:15:27,827
Nobody knows
what he looks like.
379
00:15:30,427 --> 00:15:32,527
Oh, sorry, was that out loud?
380
00:15:36,027 --> 00:15:37,227
NORM:
Anyway, the city
planner's
381
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:38,927
office issued
a temporary injunction
382
00:15:38,927 --> 00:15:40,627
against any demolition
383
00:15:40,727 --> 00:15:42,827
until it can be determined
whether the Hungry Heifer
384
00:15:42,927 --> 00:15:44,527
can be declared
a roadside landmark.
385
00:15:44,627 --> 00:15:46,327
Oh, congratulations, Norm.
386
00:15:46,327 --> 00:15:48,027
Gentlemen, start
your enzymes.
387
00:15:48,027 --> 00:15:49,827
(chanting):
Norm. Norm. Norm.
388
00:15:49,927 --> 00:15:52,427
Norm. Norm...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
389
00:15:52,527 --> 00:15:56,327
I'm gonna invite you guys all
to the Hungry Heifer tonight.
390
00:15:56,427 --> 00:15:59,527
Well, what was supposed to be
a sad little farewell dinner
391
00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:03,427
is gonna turn into the happiest
meal of Mr. Sid Nelson's life.
392
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,227
Everyone's gonna be there, guys.
393
00:16:05,327 --> 00:16:06,627
Even the Big Eaters Circle.
394
00:16:06,727 --> 00:16:07,627
You in that, Mr. P?
395
00:16:07,627 --> 00:16:10,027
Oh, no, no, Woody, please.
396
00:16:10,127 --> 00:16:11,427
This is a closed table.
397
00:16:11,527 --> 00:16:14,027
I mean, someone has to die
before you can get a seat there.
398
00:16:14,127 --> 00:16:15,027
Wow, too bad.
399
00:16:15,127 --> 00:16:16,827
Oh, no. These guys
drop dead
400
00:16:16,827 --> 00:16:17,827
like once a week.
401
00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:19,727
I've got a real shot
at it, I think.
402
00:16:22,027 --> 00:16:23,527
Say, honey, I hate
to bother you, you know,
403
00:16:23,527 --> 00:16:24,927
with Robin on your mind
and everything,
404
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,627
but I just bought
some new clothes.
405
00:16:26,627 --> 00:16:27,827
I'd like a woman's
point of view.
406
00:16:27,927 --> 00:16:28,927
Fine. Let's see them.
407
00:16:28,927 --> 00:16:30,327
Hit it, Fras.
408
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,827
Our model, Sam, is sporting
409
00:16:35,927 --> 00:16:37,227
the latest in "big house" chic.
410
00:16:40,227 --> 00:16:42,127
This ensemble
411
00:16:42,227 --> 00:16:43,827
is equally
appropriate
412
00:16:43,927 --> 00:16:46,227
for playing the harmonica
or just crushing rocks.
413
00:16:46,327 --> 00:16:48,027
It comes complete with anklet
414
00:16:48,127 --> 00:16:49,727
and matching
trash ka-bob,
415
00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:51,027
made popular by
billionaire swindler,
416
00:16:51,027 --> 00:16:53,927
Robin Colcord.
417
00:16:54,027 --> 00:16:56,327
You think you're hilarious,
don't you, Sam?
418
00:16:56,327 --> 00:16:58,427
Well, I bring the party
with me, don't I, babe?
419
00:17:00,127 --> 00:17:01,827
Optional with this outfit
is a matching set of,
420
00:17:01,927 --> 00:17:05,027
uh, tattoos reading:
"Born to Raise Hell"
421
00:17:05,127 --> 00:17:08,227
and, uh, "It's
Society's Fault."
422
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:11,927
You guys, don't encourage him.
423
00:17:11,927 --> 00:17:13,127
Guys, guys, guys,
look at this.
424
00:17:13,127 --> 00:17:14,627
Quick impression
of Robin Colcord.
425
00:17:14,627 --> 00:17:16,127
(British accent):
Blimey.
426
00:17:16,227 --> 00:17:19,527
There's a lot of trash
on the ground, isn't there?
427
00:17:19,627 --> 00:17:22,927
Well, I'll just have to impale
it and flush it down the loo.
428
00:17:24,227 --> 00:17:25,427
Cor.
429
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:26,627
Look, it's all over the place.
430
00:17:26,727 --> 00:17:28,627
Look at that. Look at that.
Look at that.
431
00:17:30,027 --> 00:17:31,627
All right, that's
it. Let's go.
432
00:17:31,627 --> 00:17:33,227
You're spending the
night in the box.
433
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,227
(laughing)
434
00:17:34,327 --> 00:17:35,527
What're you
talking about, man?
435
00:17:35,627 --> 00:17:36,627
Hey, what're you doing?
436
00:17:36,627 --> 00:17:37,927
I'm not one of
your prisoners.
437
00:17:38,027 --> 00:17:39,827
I know, but you
stabbed my foot.
438
00:17:39,927 --> 00:17:41,327
And I got a gun.
439
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,627
So you're spending
the night in the box.
440
00:17:43,727 --> 00:17:45,127
It was an accident.
441
00:17:45,227 --> 00:17:47,327
I didn't mean... Guys, do
something, will you, Rebecca?
442
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:48,627
Okay, Sam.
443
00:17:48,627 --> 00:17:50,727
¶ I'm just sitting here... ¶
444
00:17:50,727 --> 00:17:53,127
Oh, great.
445
00:17:53,227 --> 00:17:55,027
She's got a problem.
446
00:18:03,827 --> 00:18:06,727
Okay, all right.
447
00:18:06,727 --> 00:18:08,027
Attention please.
(banging)
448
00:18:08,127 --> 00:18:10,027
Attention please.
449
00:18:10,027 --> 00:18:12,627
Okay, before we get
to the ceremony,
450
00:18:12,627 --> 00:18:14,727
I'd like to make
a little announcement.
451
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,027
Because of tonight's
very special occasion,
452
00:18:17,127 --> 00:18:20,427
the fudge volcano will keep
erupting for one more hour.
453
00:18:20,527 --> 00:18:24,927
(cheering and applause)
454
00:18:24,927 --> 00:18:27,527
All right, there we go, yeah.
455
00:18:27,627 --> 00:18:28,727
Okay.
456
00:18:28,827 --> 00:18:31,127
The Big Eaters Circle.
All right.
457
00:18:32,527 --> 00:18:35,227
Now, I'd like to introduce
to you folks,
458
00:18:35,327 --> 00:18:38,227
the owner and operator
of the Hungry Heifer,
459
00:18:38,227 --> 00:18:42,327
our very special guest,
Mr. Sid Nelson.
460
00:18:42,327 --> 00:18:43,427
(cheering)
461
00:18:43,527 --> 00:18:45,127
(chanting):
Sid. Sid. Sid. Sid.
462
00:18:45,127 --> 00:18:46,227
Sid. Sid. Sid.
463
00:18:46,327 --> 00:18:47,527
Sid. Sid...
464
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,327
Let me get right
to the point, Sid.
465
00:18:49,427 --> 00:18:53,027
I knew you were expecting
a tearful farewell
dinner here tonight,
466
00:18:53,127 --> 00:18:54,627
but, uh, that is
not going to happen.
467
00:18:54,727 --> 00:18:56,227
What are you talking about?
468
00:18:56,327 --> 00:18:59,027
Well, the Hungry Heifer is
not going to be torn down.
469
00:18:59,027 --> 00:19:00,827
What are you talking about?
470
00:19:00,927 --> 00:19:01,927
NORM:
Perhaps this
piece of paper
471
00:19:02,027 --> 00:19:04,027
will help explain
things, Sid.
472
00:19:04,027 --> 00:19:06,427
This is an injunction,
473
00:19:06,427 --> 00:19:09,527
making the Hungry Heifer
immune to any wrecking ball.
474
00:19:09,627 --> 00:19:12,227
It will be here for our children
and our children's children.
475
00:19:18,227 --> 00:19:21,327
Sid obviously wasn't prepared
for this happy news.
476
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,427
Uh, tell you what, uh...
477
00:19:23,527 --> 00:19:25,527
have the band strike up
another tune, okay?
478
00:19:25,627 --> 00:19:26,827
Oh, the band felt
bloated and left.
479
00:19:26,827 --> 00:19:28,727
You've got to pace yourself.
480
00:19:28,727 --> 00:19:30,627
Sid.
481
00:19:32,427 --> 00:19:34,227
Sid, what are you doing?.
482
00:19:34,327 --> 00:19:35,827
You could start
a grease fire in here.
483
00:19:35,927 --> 00:19:37,727
I mean, I know you
have them every day,
484
00:19:37,827 --> 00:19:40,527
but this one could
get out of hand.
485
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,627
You jerk. You
ruined everything.
486
00:19:42,727 --> 00:19:45,127
But I thought
you'd be happy.
487
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:47,027
Happy? Why should
I be happy?
488
00:19:47,027 --> 00:19:50,427
The developers were going
to give me three times
what this joint is worth.
489
00:19:50,427 --> 00:19:52,527
I didn't know you wanted
out of this place, Sid.
490
00:19:52,627 --> 00:19:54,027
Why?
491
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,727
How would you like to
spend seven days a week
492
00:19:56,827 --> 00:19:58,727
up to your elbows
in cow flesh?
493
00:19:58,827 --> 00:20:01,927
Sid, I never knew
you felt this way.
494
00:20:01,927 --> 00:20:03,927
Well, I didn't always.
495
00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:07,427
But, I don't know,
this is the '90s, Norm.
496
00:20:07,527 --> 00:20:10,127
We've learned a lot
about the kind of poisons
497
00:20:10,227 --> 00:20:12,927
we've been putting
into our bodies.
498
00:20:13,027 --> 00:20:14,227
Now, you look at that.
499
00:20:14,327 --> 00:20:16,527
You see some T-bones
and a rump roast.
500
00:20:16,627 --> 00:20:18,527
I see a loaded gun.
501
00:20:18,627 --> 00:20:22,927
I've been carrying it around
with me for a long time, Norm,
502
00:20:23,027 --> 00:20:28,127
the guilt for what I've been
doing to bodies like yours.
503
00:20:30,427 --> 00:20:33,227
I thought I had a way out.
504
00:20:33,327 --> 00:20:36,127
I could sell the place to the,
to the lube syndicate.
505
00:20:36,227 --> 00:20:38,327
But... I guess the only
way out for me now
506
00:20:38,327 --> 00:20:40,227
is just to torch the place.
507
00:20:40,327 --> 00:20:42,327
Hey, no, no, you can't...
508
00:20:42,427 --> 00:20:45,227
Sid, you cannot burn down
the Hungry Heifer.
509
00:20:45,227 --> 00:20:47,727
Yeah. I guess
you're right.
510
00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:49,227
Yeah.
511
00:20:49,227 --> 00:20:51,827
I'd be the first one
they'd suspect.
512
00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:54,327
But who am I gonna get
to do it for me, Norm?
513
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,527
I've got no family.
514
00:20:55,527 --> 00:20:57,227
Who's gonna light
the match for me.
515
00:20:57,327 --> 00:20:58,927
I've got no son.
516
00:20:58,927 --> 00:21:01,127
You're the one who came
closest to that for me.
517
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:03,827
Thank you, Sid.
518
00:21:03,927 --> 00:21:06,327
Light the match.
519
00:21:06,327 --> 00:21:07,327
No, no. There's no way
520
00:21:07,427 --> 00:21:09,027
I'm gonna let you go
through with this. No.
521
00:21:09,127 --> 00:21:11,927
I'm an old man, Norm.
522
00:21:12,027 --> 00:21:13,827
I've got nothing
to look forward to.
523
00:21:13,827 --> 00:21:15,527
Light the match.
524
00:21:15,527 --> 00:21:19,827
Look, there's no way
I'm gonna let you go
through with this.
525
00:21:19,827 --> 00:21:22,727
Hey, you mean too much
to me, all right?
526
00:21:22,827 --> 00:21:27,627
I mean... look, I
never said this...
527
00:21:27,627 --> 00:21:29,327
to my own father,
528
00:21:29,427 --> 00:21:31,927
but I... I love you, Sid.
529
00:21:32,027 --> 00:21:38,827
Hey, I didn't know
you felt like that, Norm.
Yeah.
530
00:21:38,927 --> 00:21:40,127
Gee, I love you, too.
531
00:21:40,127 --> 00:21:41,127
Thank you, Sid.
532
00:21:41,227 --> 00:21:42,327
Light the match.
533
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:44,927
Would you stop with
the matches, Sid?
534
00:21:45,027 --> 00:21:46,527
Just stop with it.
535
00:21:50,327 --> 00:21:53,027
So, Sid finally
came around, huh?
536
00:21:53,127 --> 00:21:55,127
Yeah. You bet he did. Yeah.
WOODY:
How'd you convince him?
537
00:21:55,227 --> 00:21:57,227
Well, I told him he could serve
a healthier menu,
538
00:21:57,327 --> 00:21:58,627
uh, smaller portions,
539
00:21:58,627 --> 00:22:00,027
leaner cuts of beef.
540
00:22:00,127 --> 00:22:02,427
He's actually gonna put some
greens in the salad bar.
541
00:22:02,527 --> 00:22:04,127
Oh.
You know we could
change the name
542
00:22:04,227 --> 00:22:05,427
to the Healthy Heifer.
543
00:22:05,527 --> 00:22:06,827
Yeah.
544
00:22:06,827 --> 00:22:09,427
I think I really turned
his life around today.
545
00:22:09,527 --> 00:22:10,827
What the hell...?
546
00:22:10,827 --> 00:22:13,027
Sid... Sid!
547
00:22:13,027 --> 00:22:14,527
What's going on?
548
00:22:14,627 --> 00:22:17,027
This is Gus, the busboy.
549
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,027
Now he's the son I never had.
550
00:22:19,927 --> 00:22:21,127
Fire!
551
00:22:21,227 --> 00:22:23,327
Fire!