1 00:00:51,353 --> 00:00:53,187 Help me get her in the car, Ray! 2 00:00:53,188 --> 00:00:55,023 Okay, but this bitch heavy as hell, Cuz! 3 00:00:55,024 --> 00:00:56,399 Nigga, get yo' hands off her ass! 4 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,192 Let me finger gangbang her at least, homie! 5 00:00:58,193 --> 00:01:00,695 - Just help me get it off of her! - Okay, one finger then! 6 00:01:00,696 --> 00:01:03,698 A'right, but we ain't goin' inside, homie. 7 00:01:03,699 --> 00:01:05,199 We gonna go around the emergency loop... 8 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,201 roll her ass out like we do all the homies... 9 00:01:07,202 --> 00:01:08,703 that get shot in the hood, homie. 10 00:01:08,704 --> 00:01:10,538 Why you snuff her fine ass anyway, homie? 11 00:01:10,539 --> 00:01:11,748 I wanted to bone, Cuz. 12 00:01:11,749 --> 00:01:13,541 - She was possessed, Ray! - Possessed? 13 00:01:13,542 --> 00:01:16,210 Possessed like head spinnin' around vomitin' everywhere? 14 00:01:16,211 --> 00:01:19,380 Or like possessed like Kanye when you take a picture of him? 15 00:01:19,381 --> 00:01:21,549 Just drive like you got warrants, please! 16 00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:23,384 Nigga, I do got warrants! Look! 17 00:01:23,385 --> 00:01:25,386 These right here! Jaywalkin'! 18 00:01:25,387 --> 00:01:28,222 For eating grapes in the grocery store without payin' for 'em! 19 00:01:28,223 --> 00:01:30,058 Shavin' my dog's balls in public. 20 00:01:30,059 --> 00:01:32,143 Drivin' with my hands off the wheel, Cuz. 21 00:01:32,144 --> 00:01:34,729 I be ghost-drivin' my whip, Cuz. I like doin' that shit, homie. 22 00:01:34,730 --> 00:01:37,648 An altercation with my Moms, homie, but she provoked me, Cuz! 23 00:01:37,649 --> 00:01:40,026 - Ray-Ray, I think she's waking. - All right, here! Take this... 24 00:01:40,027 --> 00:01:42,028 and pistol-whip her with the butt of the gun. 25 00:01:42,029 --> 00:01:43,404 I'm not pistol-whippin' my girlfriend! 26 00:01:43,405 --> 00:01:46,784 A'right, nigga, well, you drive and I'll pistol-whip that bitch! 27 00:01:47,326 --> 00:01:50,495 - Kisha, resist! - But you didn't! 28 00:01:50,496 --> 00:01:53,998 I've seen you for the bitch that you are, Malcolm. 29 00:01:53,999 --> 00:01:57,168 - What's she talkin' 'bout, homie? - Booty pirates! 30 00:01:57,169 --> 00:02:00,468 - Nuttin', she's possessed, man. - S'right, you fucker! 31 00:02:00,547 --> 00:02:03,007 He's a ghost buster! 32 00:02:03,008 --> 00:02:05,259 That sound real suspect back there, homie. 33 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:06,594 Was you in juvie, Cuz? 34 00:02:06,595 --> 00:02:09,013 If you don't cry you ain't no bitch in there, homie. 35 00:02:09,014 --> 00:02:11,766 I didn't cry. Doodles on they. Joke's on them, Cuz. 36 00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:15,520 By the power vested to me, that somebody gave me... 37 00:02:15,521 --> 00:02:17,188 while I was locked up... 38 00:02:17,189 --> 00:02:19,482 - Who are you? - It's Father Williams, homie. 39 00:02:19,483 --> 00:02:21,692 She do a mean impression of that nigga, Cuz. 40 00:02:21,693 --> 00:02:23,778 I do a mean impression of The Butler. Check it: 41 00:02:23,779 --> 00:02:26,364 "I'm here for the boss. I'm here to serve the boss." 42 00:02:26,365 --> 00:02:28,533 - Who are you? - I'm Forest Whitaker, homie. 43 00:02:28,534 --> 00:02:29,742 From the movie that's like "The Help" but... 44 00:02:29,743 --> 00:02:31,202 He didn't doo-doo in the pie, homie. 45 00:02:31,203 --> 00:02:33,704 Ray, I'm not talkin' to you! I'm talkin' to Kisha. Ray! 46 00:02:33,705 --> 00:02:35,706 Are you gonna let that bitch choke you out, Cuz? 47 00:02:35,707 --> 00:02:37,174 You a bitch, homie... 48 00:02:38,293 --> 00:02:41,129 - Get the fuck off me! - Kisha! Kisha! 49 00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:43,131 Shit, she breathed in my face, homie. 50 00:02:43,132 --> 00:02:44,966 I'll get the bird flu, it's contagious... 51 00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:46,175 She blacked out, Ray. 52 00:02:46,176 --> 00:02:48,302 Hurry, we don't have much time! Get us to the hospital. 53 00:02:48,303 --> 00:02:49,303 Hurry! 54 00:02:49,304 --> 00:02:52,057 Ray? Ray? 55 00:02:52,307 --> 00:02:54,104 Oh, shit! 56 00:03:02,317 --> 00:03:03,442 Oh, my God! 57 00:03:03,443 --> 00:03:04,652 Kisha? 58 00:03:04,653 --> 00:03:06,154 Kisha! 59 00:03:09,158 --> 00:03:11,660 Ray? Ray! 60 00:03:14,997 --> 00:03:17,498 It's a good thing I drank that Hennessy earlier. 61 00:03:17,499 --> 00:03:19,333 I can't feel shit, homie! 62 00:03:19,334 --> 00:03:21,085 - I think Kisha's dead. - Good! 63 00:03:21,086 --> 00:03:23,133 Let's get the tuck outta here, homie! 64 00:03:23,297 --> 00:03:26,465 Listen. We were never here. 65 00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:30,011 - I'm with you, Cuz. - All right. Deuces! 66 00:03:30,012 --> 00:03:32,059 We ghost hunters! 67 00:03:41,315 --> 00:03:43,191 I don't know about this place, baby. 68 00:03:43,192 --> 00:03:45,318 You've said that about every house we looked at. 69 00:03:45,319 --> 00:03:47,486 There's just something creepy about this place, like... 70 00:03:47,487 --> 00:03:49,322 give me the heebie-jeebies... 71 00:03:49,323 --> 00:03:51,073 like somethin' bad happened in here. 72 00:03:51,074 --> 00:03:53,827 Well, I love it. And I love you. 73 00:03:55,204 --> 00:03:57,163 There you go, bribin' me with vagina. 74 00:03:57,164 --> 00:03:59,332 - Whatever works. - Know when I'm weak. 75 00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:01,835 Disgusting. 76 00:04:02,211 --> 00:04:04,003 Oh, it's disgusting when we do it... 77 00:04:04,004 --> 00:04:05,504 but when you kissing the whole entire... 78 00:04:05,505 --> 00:04:07,340 sophomore class it's cool, huh? 79 00:04:07,341 --> 00:04:10,009 Gimme that damn camera, you little gnat! 80 00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:12,511 - Finger. Real creative. - Cut her some slack. 81 00:04:12,512 --> 00:04:14,096 She's just goin' through a phase. 82 00:04:14,097 --> 00:04:15,681 Yeah, a phase. It's called "whore." 83 00:04:15,682 --> 00:04:18,684 - Look at that. Last a lifetime. - Malcolm, stop! 84 00:04:18,685 --> 00:04:20,519 No, see, that's a phase. 85 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,064 Looks like he met an imaginary friend. It's normal. 86 00:04:23,065 --> 00:04:26,192 What you doin' there, buddy? Wanna help me load some boxes? 87 00:04:26,193 --> 00:04:28,161 - Cool! - A'right. My man! 88 00:04:29,154 --> 00:04:31,697 - Sorry, Malcolm. I can't. - Why not? 89 00:04:31,698 --> 00:04:35,451 Tony says, "Aw, hell no! I ain't yo' slave!" 90 00:04:35,452 --> 00:04:38,621 Is it me or does his imaginary friend sound black? 91 00:04:38,622 --> 00:04:40,122 Pretty progressive. 92 00:04:40,123 --> 00:04:42,083 Why don't you and your friend go play? 93 00:04:42,084 --> 00:04:45,087 Okay. That game sounds like fun! 94 00:04:47,297 --> 00:04:49,925 I don't like the tripping game, Tony. 95 00:04:51,969 --> 00:04:54,136 Look at all that sexy. Come here. 96 00:04:54,137 --> 00:04:57,436 Gimme a kiss. Let's piss off your forefathers. 97 00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,978 Malcolm, it's 2013. 98 00:05:01,979 --> 00:05:04,188 Interracial relationships are not a big deal anymore. 99 00:05:04,189 --> 00:05:06,274 Yeah, you tell that to the sistas. 100 00:05:06,275 --> 00:05:09,151 You know, they be like, "Oh, I know he didn't!" 101 00:05:09,152 --> 00:05:12,321 "He did not kiss that pasty ass white bitch!" 102 00:05:12,322 --> 00:05:12,989 Pasty? 103 00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:15,116 "Yes! Not with them old thin ass lips. 104 00:05:15,117 --> 00:05:17,618 Look at them, look like baloney slices!" 105 00:05:17,619 --> 00:05:21,163 "See he spray scrippin' and it don't make no damn sense." 106 00:05:21,164 --> 00:05:23,499 Come here, Shiloh Junior. There's my baby boy. 107 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,502 I still can't believe you named our dog Shiloh Junior. 108 00:05:26,503 --> 00:05:30,172 Well, I was gonna name him Shiloh ll or Shiloh the Sequel... 109 00:05:30,173 --> 00:05:33,968 but he wouldn't answer to those, so Shiloh Junior it is. 110 00:05:33,969 --> 00:05:35,970 C'mon! Hey, come on, Shiloh Junior. 111 00:05:35,971 --> 00:05:37,138 Babe, are you gettin' this? 112 00:05:37,139 --> 00:05:39,557 I don't understand your obsession with cameras. 113 00:05:39,558 --> 00:05:42,143 Hey, you can never have too many cameras, okay? 114 00:05:42,144 --> 00:05:44,186 Hey, Shiloh! Come on, baby. 115 00:05:44,187 --> 00:05:46,272 You ready to go see your new house, Shiloh Junior? 116 00:05:46,273 --> 00:05:48,107 Come on, Shiloh Junior. Shiloh Junior! 117 00:05:48,108 --> 00:05:49,108 Hey, get inside. 118 00:05:49,109 --> 00:05:50,651 Don't make me put bass in my voice. Hey! 119 00:05:50,652 --> 00:05:51,652 Shiloh! 120 00:05:51,653 --> 00:05:54,030 God, I don't know what's wrong with him. 121 00:05:58,327 --> 00:05:59,327 Shit! Breathe! 122 00:05:59,328 --> 00:06:01,996 I'm gonna call 9-1-1! 123 00:06:01,997 --> 00:06:04,665 Call 9-1-1. Tell 'em the dog is white! 124 00:06:04,666 --> 00:06:06,167 Tell 'em the dog is white! 125 00:06:06,168 --> 00:06:09,638 Oh, God. I got a pulse. Breathe! Shiloh, like this... 126 00:06:13,175 --> 00:06:15,803 Fuck! Oh, my back! Oh my fuckin' back! 127 00:06:16,011 --> 00:06:17,808 Please, help me! 128 00:06:21,683 --> 00:06:24,811 My fuckin' dog is a pancake! 129 00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,818 Get me a goddamn pump! 130 00:06:33,945 --> 00:06:35,867 It's working! Come on! 131 00:06:42,287 --> 00:06:44,585 Meet me at the hospital! 132 00:06:45,957 --> 00:06:47,754 The hospital's that way! 133 00:06:47,959 --> 00:06:51,295 So young, never had a chance to lick his balls. 134 00:06:51,296 --> 00:06:54,173 I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm good. 135 00:06:54,174 --> 00:06:56,967 You know, I'm just so happy I got to spend time with Shi... 136 00:06:56,968 --> 00:07:00,062 It's just every time I try and say the name Shiii... 137 00:07:07,312 --> 00:07:09,610 Shiloh! 138 00:07:11,316 --> 00:07:14,444 Oh, God, it hurts! Oh, God! 139 00:07:14,986 --> 00:07:18,456 It's tingly in... Oh God! 140 00:07:20,659 --> 00:07:22,535 I'm goin' with you! Oh, God! 141 00:07:22,536 --> 00:07:25,130 Time to go, bye-bye. 142 00:07:27,999 --> 00:07:30,467 Shiloh! 143 00:07:36,925 --> 00:07:38,927 Junior. 144 00:07:43,098 --> 00:07:45,433 You could put a whole lot of birth control in that. 145 00:07:45,434 --> 00:07:47,101 I really hate you. 146 00:07:47,102 --> 00:07:49,730 That's what your daddy said. That's why the nigga gone. 147 00:07:49,938 --> 00:07:51,272 What've you got there? 148 00:07:51,273 --> 00:07:53,941 An old box that I found in the basement. 149 00:07:53,942 --> 00:07:56,110 Don't you think we should return it to the prior owners? 150 00:07:56,111 --> 00:07:59,071 If they wanted it, they would've taken it in the first place. 151 00:07:59,072 --> 00:08:02,950 Okay, look, Becky, I'm not your dad. 152 00:08:02,951 --> 00:08:05,619 I'm just the guy that's like... your mom. 153 00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:08,414 So I'll make you a deal. I'll let you keep the box... 154 00:08:08,415 --> 00:08:11,625 if you promise to try and make this work between me and you, okay? 155 00:08:11,626 --> 00:08:14,754 - It's for your mom. - Fine. 156 00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:19,133 I think we're gettin' somewhere. 157 00:08:19,134 --> 00:08:22,136 - ¿Qué pasa, mi amigo? - ¿Qué pasó, hombre? 158 00:08:22,137 --> 00:08:24,638 Aqui nomás, me tiene trabajando como negro. Está cabrón. 159 00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:26,982 No habla español. 160 00:08:29,144 --> 00:08:31,562 I just do that when I'm talkin' to negritos. It's all good. 161 00:08:31,563 --> 00:08:33,606 - Did he just call me a nigger? - What's goin' on, bro? 162 00:08:33,607 --> 00:08:35,441 We just moved in with my girl right here... 163 00:08:35,442 --> 00:08:38,110 and we was just wonderin' maybe if you want to add us to your route? 164 00:08:38,111 --> 00:08:40,112 Are you serious? Dude, I live here, puto! 165 00:08:40,113 --> 00:08:42,615 - It's my house! - Oh shit! I'm sorry. 166 00:08:42,616 --> 00:08:45,117 I just assumed... you got the gloves and the hat... 167 00:08:45,118 --> 00:08:47,286 and the lawnmower and the truck. 168 00:08:47,287 --> 00:08:49,622 'Cause I'm Mexican I must be Jose! 169 00:08:49,623 --> 00:08:50,623 Are you? 170 00:08:50,624 --> 00:08:53,125 - No, fool! My name is Miguel! - Is that your truck? 171 00:08:53,126 --> 00:08:55,628 - Yeah, that's my truck! - Then who's Jose? 172 00:08:55,629 --> 00:08:57,963 That's my middle name. You wanna guess my last name? 173 00:08:57,964 --> 00:09:00,007 You guys are here, you might as well. 174 00:09:00,008 --> 00:09:01,342 I don't know. Rodriguez? 175 00:09:01,343 --> 00:09:03,302 - That's racist, bro. - You asked... 176 00:09:03,303 --> 00:09:05,971 - Did he ask me or what? - I'm just fuckin' with you! 177 00:09:05,972 --> 00:09:08,974 For the record, my name is Miguel Jose... 178 00:09:08,975 --> 00:09:12,061 Jesús González... Smith. 179 00:09:12,062 --> 00:09:15,564 Wait, wait, wait. Your last name is Smith? 180 00:09:15,565 --> 00:09:18,113 Yeah, I'm Mexican on my mom's side. 181 00:09:18,193 --> 00:09:21,654 So, why is there González on your truck? 182 00:09:21,655 --> 00:09:24,490 Shit, would you trust your garden to a guy named Smith? 183 00:09:24,491 --> 00:09:27,368 True. True. Hey, my name is Malcolm, bro. 184 00:09:27,369 --> 00:09:30,996 - I bet your last name is Johnson. - See, that's some racist shit! 185 00:09:30,997 --> 00:09:33,545 - Am I right? - But you're right! 186 00:09:33,583 --> 00:09:36,085 Nice to meet you, man. 187 00:09:36,086 --> 00:09:37,920 Yeah, it's a pleasure meeting you! 188 00:09:37,921 --> 00:09:39,421 I can cut your grass on Tuesdays. 189 00:09:39,422 --> 00:09:42,050 What can I say, I'm a gardener by ethnic default. 190 00:09:42,592 --> 00:09:45,845 Be good, negrito! Watch out, guera! 191 00:09:46,930 --> 00:09:49,265 What? You gonna try and tease a brother? 192 00:09:49,266 --> 00:09:51,475 That's a invite? Come here, let's do the quickie. 193 00:09:51,476 --> 00:09:53,102 One, two, I'm done. 194 00:09:53,103 --> 00:09:56,522 - What's that? - What? Oh! That's Abigail. 195 00:09:56,523 --> 00:09:59,233 I found her in the wardrobe that was left here. 196 00:09:59,234 --> 00:10:00,943 Well, put it back. Hey, stop! 197 00:10:00,944 --> 00:10:01,944 She's creepy! 198 00:10:01,945 --> 00:10:04,405 - We look alike. - Yeah, same eyes and pigtails. 199 00:10:04,406 --> 00:10:06,783 Wait, no, no, don't put it on the bed! 200 00:10:19,963 --> 00:10:22,636 How you doin'? 201 00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:25,634 Oh, you ain't gonna say nothin', huh? 202 00:10:25,635 --> 00:10:28,103 So... Girl you stupid. 203 00:10:28,638 --> 00:10:30,973 You don't want none of this? Come here. 204 00:10:30,974 --> 00:10:33,943 I can't play with it but you can. 205 00:10:35,270 --> 00:10:38,689 Oh, you gonna bite my lip? Take that! 206 00:10:38,690 --> 00:10:42,401 You fuckin' like this! It was gonna come. 207 00:10:42,402 --> 00:10:44,495 It was gonna come! 208 00:10:46,990 --> 00:10:49,959 Just wanna put the tip in. I'm gonna put the tip in a minute... 209 00:10:54,331 --> 00:10:55,957 Look at that. 210 00:10:58,293 --> 00:10:59,501 You got that goody. 211 00:10:59,502 --> 00:11:02,130 Bite the pillow, bite that fuckin' pillow. 212 00:11:05,342 --> 00:11:08,344 You gonna eat my butt now. Oh, shit! 213 00:11:08,345 --> 00:11:12,475 Nigga... she... she lickin' that. 214 00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:16,185 Oh, you taste like doo-doo. But I love it! 215 00:11:16,186 --> 00:11:18,020 You on the pill? I don't wanna get you pregnant. 216 00:11:18,021 --> 00:11:19,355 You wanna little doll babies? 217 00:11:19,356 --> 00:11:20,689 They gonna have my eyes or yo' eyes... 218 00:11:20,690 --> 00:11:22,988 You gonna give me splinters! 219 00:11:25,195 --> 00:11:27,948 Fuck this shit, man. I wanna cry! 220 00:11:34,329 --> 00:11:36,497 Don't look. Don't look. Hold on a second. 221 00:11:36,498 --> 00:11:41,001 This side is wet with soap, this one is dry. 222 00:11:41,002 --> 00:11:42,503 I'll clean you up, baby. 223 00:11:42,504 --> 00:11:44,004 I mighta leaked in you. 224 00:11:44,005 --> 00:11:46,006 I don't know if I came, I leaked a little bit. 225 00:11:46,007 --> 00:11:48,676 That's a'right. You ain't even ovulatin'. 226 00:11:48,677 --> 00:11:51,145 Why you trippin'? Come on, stop worrying. 227 00:11:56,017 --> 00:11:59,646 - Honey, we're home! - Shit! You gotta go! 228 00:12:00,689 --> 00:12:02,356 - Shit! No! - Malcolm! 229 00:12:02,357 --> 00:12:06,360 - Hi, honey! - Honey, where are you? 230 00:12:06,361 --> 00:12:08,529 You gotta go! We... I'm just upstairs! 231 00:12:08,530 --> 00:12:10,156 You gotta get outta here. 232 00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:17,371 Fuck! 233 00:12:17,372 --> 00:12:18,839 Shit! 234 00:12:28,383 --> 00:12:30,556 "Hanging Out". 235 00:12:31,594 --> 00:12:35,849 Sounds a little soft for my taste, but... fuck it. 236 00:12:41,312 --> 00:12:44,110 Yeah, I don't think this is right. 237 00:12:44,315 --> 00:12:46,783 Maybe I should download the manual. 238 00:13:22,687 --> 00:13:26,657 I seen some shit, but that was crazy! 239 00:13:27,192 --> 00:13:31,028 A demonic figure tried to hang a family in the backyard. 240 00:13:31,029 --> 00:13:33,280 I gotta keep this from Megan and the kids. 241 00:13:33,281 --> 00:13:35,282 Is it weird that I was aroused by this? 242 00:13:35,283 --> 00:13:37,785 Why is my dick bending in my jeans? 243 00:13:45,293 --> 00:13:46,794 Hello? 244 00:13:47,462 --> 00:13:48,462 Hello? 245 00:13:48,463 --> 00:13:52,633 - Twinkle little star... - Who is this? Hello! 246 00:13:52,634 --> 00:13:54,226 It's the Devil! 247 00:14:03,978 --> 00:14:06,146 That's a ugly motherfucker. 248 00:14:06,147 --> 00:14:08,524 Is that Steven Tyler? 249 00:14:11,986 --> 00:14:14,488 What the hell? Same tree! 250 00:14:17,659 --> 00:14:20,662 Shit! Kisha? 251 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,334 Baby, what you doin'! 252 00:14:27,335 --> 00:14:29,336 I almost dumped the fuck out you! 253 00:14:29,337 --> 00:14:31,004 You got to holler at me! 254 00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:32,506 You can't just be walkin' up. 255 00:14:32,507 --> 00:14:34,967 You gotta give me like a "whoop-ti-whoo"... 256 00:14:34,968 --> 00:14:36,635 a "kakow!" or a "tsh-tsh"! 257 00:14:36,636 --> 00:14:38,971 Just make your own up. Please announce yourself! 258 00:14:38,972 --> 00:14:41,850 Honey, you look like you've seen a ghost. 259 00:14:42,141 --> 00:14:43,350 I think I did. 260 00:14:43,351 --> 00:14:46,645 Wait. So now I look like a ghost. 261 00:14:46,646 --> 00:14:48,146 Excuse me, where you goin' with this? 262 00:14:48,147 --> 00:14:50,315 So now I'm too pasty for you? 263 00:14:50,316 --> 00:14:52,192 I can't do anything about that! 264 00:14:52,193 --> 00:14:54,653 Unless you want me to get skin cancer from the sun. 265 00:14:54,654 --> 00:14:56,321 And what, deep nasty wrinkles... 266 00:14:56,322 --> 00:14:57,489 and then they'll have to give me chemo... 267 00:14:57,490 --> 00:14:59,324 and I'll lose all my hair, and then I'll look like... 268 00:14:59,325 --> 00:15:01,159 a nasty bald raisin! Is that what you want? 269 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,452 Is that what you want? 270 00:15:02,453 --> 00:15:04,329 I don't want you to look like a raisin! 271 00:15:04,330 --> 00:15:06,999 I don't like to date raisins, I don't like the raisins... 272 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,458 on Morgan Freeman's face! 273 00:15:08,459 --> 00:15:10,711 I don't like the new ones that Obama got... 274 00:15:10,712 --> 00:15:12,671 the young raisins on his face! 275 00:15:12,672 --> 00:15:17,175 I don't like raisins. So please, don't look like a raisin. 276 00:15:17,176 --> 00:15:21,931 I need to go meditate and get my chi back in alignment. 277 00:15:22,015 --> 00:15:23,983 What chi? It was just... 278 00:15:35,278 --> 00:15:38,113 - Walk to the light! - It's bedtime. 279 00:15:38,114 --> 00:15:40,449 What you all dressed up for? We goin' to a club? 280 00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:43,285 Formal party? We goin' to a Pajama Jam? 281 00:15:43,286 --> 00:15:45,078 - Just bed. - Come on, Megan. 282 00:15:45,079 --> 00:15:47,456 You gotta be more comfortable with this relationship... 283 00:15:47,457 --> 00:15:48,373 You're right. 284 00:15:48,374 --> 00:15:50,250 Put on some sweat pants and some... 285 00:15:50,251 --> 00:15:54,129 Oh, my Jesus Lord! You're naked! 286 00:15:54,130 --> 00:15:57,132 I am. I like being naked, though. 287 00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:59,134 I could be naked all day. 288 00:15:59,135 --> 00:16:02,471 All day? But come on, that's not practical, hon. 289 00:16:02,472 --> 00:16:03,722 You got a job. 290 00:16:03,723 --> 00:16:06,975 You don't wanna be on the bus naked or in Starbucks naked. 291 00:16:06,976 --> 00:16:07,643 Why not? 292 00:16:07,644 --> 00:16:09,645 'Cause that coffee spill on you, it's hot! 293 00:16:09,646 --> 00:16:11,229 It's gonna leave a scar. 294 00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:13,778 Melt one of your nipples off or somethin'. 295 00:16:13,983 --> 00:16:16,151 The camera's on, baby. 296 00:16:16,152 --> 00:16:19,747 Good. Just make sure you film my good side. 297 00:16:19,989 --> 00:16:23,492 What the fuck? Are you serious? 298 00:16:23,493 --> 00:16:25,285 We gonna get all angles on that... 299 00:16:25,286 --> 00:16:26,745 Oh, shit. 300 00:16:26,746 --> 00:16:29,665 Baby, your creepy doll is makin' my dick scared. 301 00:16:29,666 --> 00:16:31,500 Just let her watch. 302 00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:34,754 You just said the right type of nasty shit! 303 00:16:38,299 --> 00:16:41,769 Oh, God! I gotta replenish my fluids. 304 00:16:43,972 --> 00:16:45,940 After round two. 305 00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:54,147 - That was wild. - Come here, Malcolm. 306 00:16:54,148 --> 00:16:56,867 What, aren't you done yet? 307 00:17:00,989 --> 00:17:03,490 I am now. Ready for round three? 308 00:17:03,491 --> 00:17:04,708 Seriously... 309 00:17:08,997 --> 00:17:11,289 No más. No más. Oh, my God! 310 00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:13,667 Baby, you gotta train for some shit like this! 311 00:17:13,668 --> 00:17:16,670 Come on, Malcolm, bell's ringing. Time for round four. 312 00:17:16,671 --> 00:17:19,006 No, no, baby. My ding-ding's knocked out cold. 313 00:17:19,007 --> 00:17:21,508 I can't do it. Corner's throwin' in the towel! 314 00:17:21,509 --> 00:17:22,718 Let's go, Malcolm. 315 00:17:22,719 --> 00:17:25,972 I gotta get some Enswell if we keep goin'! Wait, no, baby! 316 00:17:28,349 --> 00:17:32,479 Right now she is tearin' me up! My God! 317 00:17:34,939 --> 00:17:37,567 Want me to choke you? Is that what you like? 318 00:17:37,608 --> 00:17:39,276 Stop being a bitch! 319 00:17:39,277 --> 00:17:42,747 Yeah! Come on! Oh, you want some of this? 320 00:17:43,448 --> 00:17:45,615 You like that? It's kinda like a blindfold... 321 00:17:45,616 --> 00:17:47,834 except you can't fuckin' breathe! 322 00:17:47,952 --> 00:17:50,620 - Feel like you're dyin'? - Thing just moved! 323 00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:52,622 Except you can't fuckin' breathe! 324 00:17:52,623 --> 00:17:54,841 Thing was watching! 325 00:17:54,959 --> 00:17:56,426 You little... 326 00:17:56,961 --> 00:17:58,336 Who was watching? 327 00:17:58,337 --> 00:18:00,589 Oh, baby, come here. Check this out! 328 00:18:01,174 --> 00:18:03,508 - Oh, my God! - Did you see it? 329 00:18:03,509 --> 00:18:06,386 - How could I not? - I thought I was trippin'! 330 00:18:06,387 --> 00:18:08,388 I am so fat! Look at me! 331 00:18:08,389 --> 00:18:10,390 I look like a huge blubber ass! 332 00:18:10,391 --> 00:18:13,226 - I'm like Miss Piggy in there! - What're you talking about? 333 00:18:13,227 --> 00:18:15,312 You were gonna shoot my good side. 334 00:18:15,313 --> 00:18:18,106 I did shoot your good side. Look, I got all that ass up in... 335 00:18:18,107 --> 00:18:19,566 Look at all that ass, girl. 336 00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,735 I'm black, brothers like an ass. 337 00:18:21,736 --> 00:18:24,785 You know I do mean that as a compliment, right? 338 00:18:24,989 --> 00:18:26,406 I see what's going on. 339 00:18:26,407 --> 00:18:28,992 You hate my vagina! You think it's too loose! 340 00:18:28,993 --> 00:18:30,494 It's not! It's only on the outside... 341 00:18:30,495 --> 00:18:32,579 but once you choose a wall, it's pretty damn tight. 342 00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:34,456 You know what, Malcolm, I have had two kids! 343 00:18:34,457 --> 00:18:37,584 I mean, do you think the stork just dropped 'em off on the doorstep? 344 00:18:37,585 --> 00:18:40,087 No! You're knocked up for nine months... 345 00:18:40,088 --> 00:18:42,255 and then your lady parts are stretched to limits... 346 00:18:42,256 --> 00:18:44,925 you cannot even fathom! 347 00:18:44,926 --> 00:18:47,260 Okay, baby. I think your vagina's cute. 348 00:18:47,261 --> 00:18:50,138 Erase the tape or we are never having sex again. 349 00:18:50,139 --> 00:18:52,933 - Well, since you put it that way. - Erase the tape! 350 00:18:52,934 --> 00:18:55,102 - Okay, I'm erasin' the tape! - I want to see you do it. 351 00:18:55,103 --> 00:18:57,437 - I'm erasing the tape. - Erase it right now! Do it! 352 00:18:57,438 --> 00:19:00,982 - Baby, I like the way your vagina... - Erase the tape! 353 00:19:00,983 --> 00:19:03,110 It's not loose! I like the way it sounds! 354 00:19:03,111 --> 00:19:05,113 Sound like it was blowin' speakers. It's... 355 00:19:05,947 --> 00:19:08,791 You know, it's kinda like W. Ferse's bebop! 356 00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:21,128 Who the hell's hittin' me? Abigail? 357 00:19:21,129 --> 00:19:23,131 You got a page? 358 00:19:23,297 --> 00:19:26,133 "In a relationship with Malcolm Johnson"? 359 00:19:26,134 --> 00:19:29,302 I only hit it once! 360 00:19:29,303 --> 00:19:31,646 What in the hell? 361 00:19:32,265 --> 00:19:34,683 I think I might've fucked the wrong bitch. 362 00:19:34,684 --> 00:19:37,269 Now she's blowin' up my cell phone? 363 00:19:37,270 --> 00:19:38,436 Look at that. 364 00:19:38,437 --> 00:19:42,908 Straight up stalker! She's crazy! 365 00:19:43,609 --> 00:19:45,986 Listen, it's time to turn my camera game up a level. 366 00:19:45,987 --> 00:19:49,197 I'm talkin' bathrooms, countertops, computers... 367 00:19:49,198 --> 00:19:52,033 stuffed animals, mouths and asses! 368 00:19:52,034 --> 00:19:55,754 It's goin' down everywhere! I'm live. 369 00:19:56,289 --> 00:20:00,544 Kitchen? Oh, yeah, I see you. 370 00:20:01,460 --> 00:20:04,963 Perfect. Yeah, and I got the ass, too. 371 00:20:04,964 --> 00:20:07,592 All inconspicuous. 372 00:20:08,968 --> 00:20:12,096 Told you, cameras everywhere. 373 00:20:12,972 --> 00:20:14,431 Hey, Becky, wanna play Hide and Clap? 374 00:20:14,432 --> 00:20:16,104 Fuck off! 375 00:20:16,184 --> 00:20:17,475 That's, "No, thank you." 376 00:20:17,476 --> 00:20:19,978 Let's do this. Ah, lady's blindfold. 377 00:20:19,979 --> 00:20:22,147 You got this out your momma's room, right? 378 00:20:22,148 --> 00:20:22,981 Oh, boy. 379 00:20:22,982 --> 00:20:24,983 Things me and your momma do with this! 380 00:20:24,984 --> 00:20:26,985 Sometimes she tie my hands and flip me over... 381 00:20:26,986 --> 00:20:29,154 and toss that... salad. 382 00:20:29,155 --> 00:20:31,323 - Tony likes salad. - Anyway. 383 00:20:31,324 --> 00:20:34,202 I'll put this on. Let's do it! 384 00:20:34,243 --> 00:20:38,580 One, two, three. First clap! 385 00:20:38,581 --> 00:20:42,631 Come on. Come on. Gimme a clap. 386 00:20:42,752 --> 00:20:45,670 Yeah, I'm gettin' close. 387 00:20:45,671 --> 00:20:47,672 I smell you. I smell you. 388 00:20:47,673 --> 00:20:52,010 You smell like kids, like worms, coins and doo-doo. Like... 389 00:20:52,011 --> 00:20:53,478 Shit! 390 00:20:56,349 --> 00:20:59,309 Can we just play Tag next time? I just wanna play Tag. 391 00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:02,654 Wyatt? Wyatt? 392 00:21:02,688 --> 00:21:05,156 Where you at, you little shit? 393 00:21:11,697 --> 00:21:13,164 Third clap. 394 00:21:19,705 --> 00:21:22,549 I got you, Wyatt. 395 00:21:24,210 --> 00:21:26,711 I win! You took your blindfold off. 396 00:21:26,712 --> 00:21:29,047 You're right, Tony. Malcolm is an idiot. 397 00:21:29,048 --> 00:21:31,549 Take your camera, loser. 398 00:21:31,550 --> 00:21:34,929 Yeah, I wanna learn how to start a fire. 399 00:21:36,472 --> 00:21:39,725 What the... hell was that? 400 00:21:40,309 --> 00:21:42,106 I coulda swore... 401 00:21:46,315 --> 00:21:47,862 Shit! 402 00:21:48,317 --> 00:21:50,444 Fucked you up! 403 00:21:52,488 --> 00:21:56,117 Fuck, are you crazy! Who the fuck are you! 404 00:21:56,158 --> 00:21:59,035 - Malcolm! Oh my God! - Baby? 405 00:21:59,036 --> 00:22:01,329 You can't be jumpin' out on brothers like that. 406 00:22:01,330 --> 00:22:03,331 You'll get knocked the fuck out every time. 407 00:22:03,332 --> 00:22:05,625 - It was supposed to be a joke! - You okay? 408 00:22:05,626 --> 00:22:07,335 'Cause I fucked you up! 409 00:22:07,336 --> 00:22:10,005 Like, I hit you with the force, like with the follow-up. 410 00:22:10,006 --> 00:22:12,215 I wanna ask they replay that shit. Damn! 411 00:22:12,216 --> 00:22:14,639 'Cause you got froze. You went, "Oh!" 412 00:22:23,019 --> 00:22:25,021 "Please help me." 413 00:22:26,022 --> 00:22:28,650 God, I hope this works. 414 00:22:30,192 --> 00:22:32,615 What is that thing? 415 00:22:34,655 --> 00:22:36,998 That is not human. 416 00:22:49,503 --> 00:22:51,596 That was weird. 417 00:23:05,019 --> 00:23:06,486 Damn. 418 00:23:25,039 --> 00:23:27,707 - I caught yo' ass! - No, you didn't. 419 00:23:27,708 --> 00:23:29,505 Bullshit! 420 00:23:40,971 --> 00:23:43,723 Becky... 421 00:23:43,724 --> 00:23:45,975 It's your box. 422 00:23:45,976 --> 00:23:47,185 What? 423 00:23:47,186 --> 00:23:51,611 I want you to touch me. 424 00:23:54,318 --> 00:23:56,035 Okay. 425 00:23:59,990 --> 00:24:02,913 Not that box. 426 00:24:08,749 --> 00:24:10,500 You know I love you and those kids, right? 427 00:24:10,501 --> 00:24:13,336 I'm gonna do everything in my power to keep you guys protected. 428 00:24:13,337 --> 00:24:14,463 Yeah. 429 00:24:17,007 --> 00:24:19,475 - What was that? - What? 430 00:24:21,011 --> 00:24:23,513 - That! - The wind? 431 00:24:23,514 --> 00:24:27,267 Nigga, the windows are closed! Okay? 432 00:24:27,268 --> 00:24:29,686 I'm tellin' you, that was either a ghost or a demon. 433 00:24:29,687 --> 00:24:32,610 Or maybe it was a demon pregnant with a ghost. 434 00:24:33,524 --> 00:24:35,942 Oh, this is cute! 435 00:24:35,943 --> 00:24:40,573 I'm gonna so wear this, all day, every day. 436 00:24:40,948 --> 00:24:42,449 What if it's a burglar? 437 00:24:42,450 --> 00:24:44,951 Why the fuck are you excited? It's a burglar! 438 00:24:44,952 --> 00:24:47,120 Either way it goes, it's some scary shit! 439 00:24:47,121 --> 00:24:49,080 Okay, not all burglars are scary. 440 00:24:49,081 --> 00:24:52,375 - It is a burglar or a ghost! - If you talk to him, he'll leave. 441 00:24:52,376 --> 00:24:54,586 - You shoot it in the face! - You've talked to him already. 442 00:24:54,587 --> 00:24:56,129 If the motherfucker's foot do this... 443 00:24:56,130 --> 00:24:58,506 - ...you shoot him in the face again! - That is way too harsh. 444 00:24:58,507 --> 00:24:59,757 What're you gonna do? 445 00:24:59,758 --> 00:25:02,177 - I'll handle it. - What're you gonna do? 446 00:25:02,178 --> 00:25:03,178 Shoot him. 447 00:25:03,179 --> 00:25:06,432 You are not allowed to shoot anyone in the face, mister! 448 00:25:16,317 --> 00:25:17,943 Becky? 449 00:25:19,111 --> 00:25:21,529 What in the...? Becky! Oh, God! 450 00:25:21,530 --> 00:25:23,990 Becky! Becky! 451 00:25:23,991 --> 00:25:25,658 Becky! Oh, my God! 452 00:25:25,659 --> 00:25:30,505 - Get me somethin', Megan! Becky! - Here's the fly swatter! 453 00:25:36,962 --> 00:25:39,964 That's just gross. That fuckin' sound, it bothers me. 454 00:25:39,965 --> 00:25:41,762 - Use this! - Gimme! 455 00:25:48,974 --> 00:25:50,942 - Here's what I got! - Gimme! 456 00:25:54,980 --> 00:25:57,482 Get that thing outta here! I got an idea! 457 00:25:57,483 --> 00:26:00,735 Come on! Bitch, why ain't you movin'? 458 00:26:00,736 --> 00:26:02,112 Fuck! 459 00:26:02,279 --> 00:26:04,998 See, now this is a good idea. 460 00:26:05,991 --> 00:26:08,118 A'right. G'night, Becky. 461 00:26:09,161 --> 00:26:10,878 Night, sweetheart. 462 00:26:16,168 --> 00:26:19,087 - Hey, buddy, what you doin'? - Havin' a tea party. 463 00:26:19,088 --> 00:26:22,423 You wanna go outside and do somethin' a little more masculine? 464 00:26:22,424 --> 00:26:26,519 - Like play some football? - No, not really. 465 00:26:28,180 --> 00:26:30,431 Don't sit there! That's Tony's seat! 466 00:26:30,432 --> 00:26:32,225 Oh, sorry. 467 00:26:32,226 --> 00:26:34,185 My bad, Tony. 468 00:26:34,186 --> 00:26:38,907 Tony says, "No problem, bee-yotch." Want some tea? 469 00:26:39,942 --> 00:26:41,910 Yeah.... sure. 470 00:26:42,278 --> 00:26:47,579 You know, Wyatt, about your little buddy Tony... 471 00:26:47,950 --> 00:26:50,285 I don't think he's such a good influence on you... 472 00:26:50,286 --> 00:26:52,083 know what I mean? 473 00:26:54,540 --> 00:26:59,420 - What the...? That's straight vodka! - Tony calls it tea. 474 00:26:59,962 --> 00:27:02,422 He drinks a lot of tea. 475 00:27:02,423 --> 00:27:05,300 I really think you guys need to stop this friendship. 476 00:27:05,301 --> 00:27:07,468 He doesn't think that's such a good idea. 477 00:27:07,469 --> 00:27:09,554 You know what, you tell Tony... 478 00:27:09,555 --> 00:27:12,265 that I said you and him ain't gonna be friends no more... 479 00:27:12,266 --> 00:27:14,439 and that's final! 480 00:27:16,145 --> 00:27:19,981 On second thought, you and Tony have a beautiful friendship. 481 00:27:19,982 --> 00:27:22,191 Okay, I'll be downstairs doin' somethin'... 482 00:27:22,192 --> 00:27:23,784 With less fuckin' chairs. 483 00:27:24,153 --> 00:27:27,614 This isn't good. It's happening again. 484 00:27:27,615 --> 00:27:29,913 It's really fuckin' happening. 485 00:27:31,327 --> 00:27:33,079 What the fuck? 486 00:27:35,039 --> 00:27:36,756 Who is it? 487 00:27:45,466 --> 00:27:46,933 Hello? 488 00:27:48,969 --> 00:27:50,937 That's a spooky knock. 489 00:27:52,973 --> 00:27:54,474 Oh, you better run! 490 00:27:54,475 --> 00:27:57,194 Knock on my door, come out there and slap you... 491 00:27:57,728 --> 00:27:59,445 What the fuck! 492 00:27:59,980 --> 00:28:01,948 I got a knife! 493 00:28:13,994 --> 00:28:16,838 "Miss Me?" Abigail! 494 00:28:20,751 --> 00:28:23,503 Aw, hell no! Look, we gotta talk. 495 00:28:23,504 --> 00:28:26,339 This is a mistake, okay? This shit gotta stop. 496 00:28:26,340 --> 00:28:27,548 It's gone too far. 497 00:28:27,549 --> 00:28:29,676 You see this? "Miss me"? 498 00:28:29,677 --> 00:28:32,095 In the house with Megan, are you fuckin' crazy? 499 00:28:32,096 --> 00:28:36,015 I take full responsibility, all right? This is my bad. 500 00:28:36,016 --> 00:28:39,060 I don't mean to sound clichéd. It's not you, it's me. 501 00:28:39,061 --> 00:28:42,355 Don't play fuckin' innocent with me, you knew I had a girl! 502 00:28:42,356 --> 00:28:44,315 I'm just bein' selfish right now. 503 00:28:44,316 --> 00:28:46,275 I would love to have you and Megan and... 504 00:28:46,276 --> 00:28:48,444 be honest with you, my stuffed animals. 505 00:28:48,445 --> 00:28:50,405 I'd like to bring them in the mix. 506 00:28:50,406 --> 00:28:53,750 I'm tryin' to make this work. You're just not makin' it easy. 507 00:28:54,201 --> 00:28:57,420 I swear to... Fuck! 508 00:28:59,164 --> 00:29:02,166 You see what you made me do? Only you do this to me! 509 00:29:02,167 --> 00:29:03,459 Fuckin' crazy! 510 00:29:03,460 --> 00:29:06,884 Oh, you lucky my momma told me, don't hit bitches! 511 00:29:12,636 --> 00:29:14,103 Enough. 512 00:29:15,973 --> 00:29:17,640 Fuck, you scare... 513 00:29:17,641 --> 00:29:19,642 I didn't touch you! I didn't touch you! 514 00:29:19,643 --> 00:29:22,771 You get outta my life, I'll get outta yours. I'm done. 515 00:29:28,986 --> 00:29:30,612 Make no mistake... 516 00:29:30,738 --> 00:29:34,082 after this, it's over. 517 00:29:34,241 --> 00:29:36,743 You ready to go again? Yeah. 518 00:29:42,249 --> 00:29:45,918 - Hello, Malcolm? - Professor Wilde. How you doin'? 519 00:29:45,919 --> 00:29:47,628 Malcolm, I'm glad you reached out. 520 00:29:47,629 --> 00:29:49,422 What exactly am I dealing with here? 521 00:29:49,423 --> 00:29:53,176 Well, the being you described to me is a demon! 522 00:29:53,177 --> 00:29:54,260 Fuck, I knew it! 523 00:29:54,261 --> 00:29:57,597 A rare and obscure one from Babylonian times... 524 00:29:57,598 --> 00:30:00,933 named Ahghoul. And he's a trickster! 525 00:30:00,934 --> 00:30:04,437 And chances are this is not your first encounter with this demon. 526 00:30:04,438 --> 00:30:07,273 Have you had paranormal experiences in your past? 527 00:30:07,274 --> 00:30:09,609 Actually, yeah. About a year ago. 528 00:30:09,610 --> 00:30:12,954 This is way worse than I had thought... 529 00:30:14,281 --> 00:30:17,125 - Oh, shit! - Fuck! 530 00:30:18,619 --> 00:30:20,620 Nigga, I thought somebody was shootin'! 531 00:30:20,621 --> 00:30:21,579 Thai food! 532 00:30:21,580 --> 00:30:24,624 It's spicy going in, but it's twice as spicy going out! 533 00:30:24,625 --> 00:30:26,626 That's scientifically impossible! 534 00:30:26,627 --> 00:30:29,462 I smell you in here! What in the hell! 535 00:30:29,463 --> 00:30:30,964 Excuse me. 536 00:30:34,968 --> 00:30:38,137 - I hire based on skill level. - Are those titties? 537 00:30:38,138 --> 00:30:41,182 Ladies, remember, we're making meth, not baby aspirin. 538 00:30:41,183 --> 00:30:45,144 All the stories revolve around Ahghoul's attempts... 539 00:30:45,145 --> 00:30:47,980 to trick people into bringing him into our world... 540 00:30:47,981 --> 00:30:50,316 and it can come in the form of a possession... 541 00:30:50,317 --> 00:30:52,318 a spirit that only a child can see... 542 00:30:52,319 --> 00:30:56,322 or an ancient object that lures in the impressionable. 543 00:30:56,323 --> 00:30:59,325 So what you're saying is something is coming after me and my family. 544 00:30:59,326 --> 00:31:01,160 Malcolm, that's exactly what I'm saying. 545 00:31:01,161 --> 00:31:03,162 Damn it, Jessica, you've got your tit in the pseudophedrine! 546 00:31:03,163 --> 00:31:04,664 Sorry, Malcolm. I wish you good luck. 547 00:31:04,665 --> 00:31:06,667 Gotta get my "Breaking Bad" on. 548 00:31:19,012 --> 00:31:20,809 Tonight you drown. 549 00:31:24,017 --> 00:31:25,518 Not again. 550 00:31:29,690 --> 00:31:32,192 Sink. Sink. Sink. 551 00:31:33,694 --> 00:31:36,362 Ruined a perfectly good leather jacket! 552 00:31:36,363 --> 00:31:40,324 That's it. Now we drown. Drown! 553 00:31:40,325 --> 00:31:41,951 Drown! 554 00:31:44,997 --> 00:31:46,669 Prepare to meet Hell. 555 00:31:47,291 --> 00:31:49,213 God, that hurl! 556 00:31:52,004 --> 00:31:54,472 My balls. This isn't over! 557 00:31:55,257 --> 00:32:00,228 Is Ahghoul the same demon that possessed Kisha? 558 00:32:02,097 --> 00:32:05,016 When are the Republicans gonna slip... 559 00:32:05,017 --> 00:32:07,685 and call Obama the N-word? 560 00:32:07,686 --> 00:32:10,688 When are they gonna stop makin' scary movies... 561 00:32:10,689 --> 00:32:12,189 without the Wayans? 562 00:32:12,190 --> 00:32:13,816 They fuckin' suck! 563 00:32:22,034 --> 00:32:23,660 What the hell? 564 00:32:43,972 --> 00:32:46,440 Steroids, bitch! 565 00:32:57,986 --> 00:33:00,784 You messed with the wrong nigga today! 566 00:33:04,785 --> 00:33:07,662 Baby, put it down! What are you doing? 567 00:33:07,663 --> 00:33:10,164 I come in the hallway, fuckin' creepy box... 568 00:33:10,165 --> 00:33:12,166 with somethin' weird fuckin' alive in it! 569 00:33:12,167 --> 00:33:14,627 And I knew that it was death in the box! 570 00:33:14,628 --> 00:33:16,128 So I killed it! 571 00:33:16,129 --> 00:33:19,340 - Baby, it was a gift! - But it ain't Christmas. 572 00:33:19,341 --> 00:33:22,510 - Baby, no. - Kwanzaa? 573 00:33:22,511 --> 00:33:25,054 You were so upset when Shiloh Junior died... 574 00:33:25,055 --> 00:33:27,649 that the kids and I thought we would get you... 575 00:33:32,312 --> 00:33:34,605 - Don't look. Don't look. - Oh, my God! 576 00:33:34,606 --> 00:33:36,608 Wyatt, go to your room! 577 00:33:36,984 --> 00:33:39,151 I killed a baby. 578 00:33:39,152 --> 00:33:41,487 Oh God, I think it's still breathing. 579 00:33:41,488 --> 00:33:44,323 - You're so fucking crazy. - He's still breathing. 580 00:33:44,324 --> 00:33:48,454 I gotta take him out of misery. I gotta kill him! 581 00:33:58,672 --> 00:34:00,469 Becky? 582 00:34:02,384 --> 00:34:05,637 A'right, let's see what's in this box now. 583 00:34:09,349 --> 00:34:13,019 God! Wow! That stinks! 584 00:34:13,020 --> 00:34:15,521 - What the hell are you doing? - Nothing. Just... 585 00:34:15,522 --> 00:34:18,190 You know your pillows have blue faces on 'em? 586 00:34:18,191 --> 00:34:20,192 - Stay away from my box! - Calm down! 587 00:34:20,193 --> 00:34:22,153 - Would you calm down? - I don't wanna calm down. 588 00:34:22,154 --> 00:34:23,696 I want you to stay away from my box! 589 00:34:23,697 --> 00:34:25,364 Do you have to say "box" so loud? 590 00:34:25,365 --> 00:34:27,199 What is going on in here? 591 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,703 Nothing. We just playin'. Dolls 'n stuff. 592 00:34:30,704 --> 00:34:33,956 Malcolm came into my room and touched my box. 593 00:34:33,957 --> 00:34:37,626 - Malcolm, is this true? - Yes, but only for like two seconds. 594 00:34:37,627 --> 00:34:40,296 It was stinking! Like, it was rancid! 595 00:34:40,297 --> 00:34:43,299 Here, smell this. I don't know how she play with that! 596 00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:46,343 He had two fingers in my tight little box, Mom. 597 00:34:46,344 --> 00:34:47,386 Stop lyin'. 598 00:34:47,387 --> 00:34:50,389 Baby, there's nothin' tight about her box. 599 00:34:50,390 --> 00:34:53,476 It's fuckin' huge! I could put my whole fist in it. 600 00:34:53,477 --> 00:34:56,562 Like, I almost was up to here for a second. It's crazy big. 601 00:34:56,563 --> 00:34:58,189 You said, "No means no!" 602 00:34:58,190 --> 00:35:00,316 And that is exactly what I said. I said "No!" 603 00:35:00,317 --> 00:35:03,115 - I did. - Time the fuck out. 604 00:35:03,987 --> 00:35:07,114 She's trying to Dateline Special the nigga! 605 00:35:07,115 --> 00:35:09,241 Where's Chris Hansen? Chris! Chris! 606 00:35:09,242 --> 00:35:11,327 Chris, come on, I know you around here somewhere! 607 00:35:11,328 --> 00:35:13,996 I know he's in here somewhere. You tryin' to set a nigga up! 608 00:35:13,997 --> 00:35:16,165 - Can I talk to you for a second? - Right now. 609 00:35:16,166 --> 00:35:18,250 There's something really strange goin' on in this house. 610 00:35:18,251 --> 00:35:20,544 Wyatt? Wyatt, see, Wyatt used to be my boy. 611 00:35:20,545 --> 00:35:23,339 Like that was my lil' nigga, like we was like boom-boom! 612 00:35:23,340 --> 00:35:26,342 When my dog died, that lil' nigga helped me dah! 613 00:35:26,343 --> 00:35:28,344 But lately, he hasn't even talked to me! 614 00:35:28,345 --> 00:35:29,512 Like, he won't even play with me! 615 00:35:29,513 --> 00:35:32,607 His little imaginary friend, Tony? I don't think he's really... 616 00:35:33,934 --> 00:35:36,602 - You're crazy, Tony. - Imagine that. 617 00:35:36,603 --> 00:35:40,106 Did you see that shit? Look! You missed it! 618 00:35:40,107 --> 00:35:42,608 Okay, look, forget him. Becky. 619 00:35:42,609 --> 00:35:45,277 There's something in that old box she carries around... 620 00:35:45,278 --> 00:35:46,695 that's making her go crazy! 621 00:35:46,696 --> 00:35:48,447 She sleeps with it, she eats with it... 622 00:35:48,448 --> 00:35:50,157 she even goes to the bathroom with it! 623 00:35:50,158 --> 00:35:52,618 Who takes a shit with a box in their hand? 624 00:35:52,619 --> 00:35:53,953 It's fuckin' weird! 625 00:35:53,954 --> 00:35:57,623 And by "weird' you mean I'm a terrible mother. 626 00:35:57,624 --> 00:35:58,541 What? No. Wait. 627 00:35:58,542 --> 00:36:00,960 Where did you go? Hold on a minute. Hold on. 628 00:36:00,961 --> 00:36:03,295 If you were just a little less judgmental... 629 00:36:03,296 --> 00:36:05,297 she wouldn't feel like she needs to carry her pain... 630 00:36:05,298 --> 00:36:07,299 - around in a "box"! - This is not about me! 631 00:36:07,300 --> 00:36:09,218 It is always about you, Malcolm! 632 00:36:09,219 --> 00:36:11,470 "You're too fat, you're a terrible parent... 633 00:36:11,471 --> 00:36:13,681 you like black guys 'cause they have bigger cocks!" 634 00:36:13,682 --> 00:36:16,642 That sounds like you! Do you see this? 635 00:36:16,643 --> 00:36:18,644 That's not fuckin' normal! 636 00:36:18,645 --> 00:36:21,313 Okay, she is just trying to get attention! 637 00:36:21,314 --> 00:36:23,649 When she was a baby, she would cry and cry... 638 00:36:23,650 --> 00:36:25,568 and cry all damn day in her crib... 639 00:36:25,569 --> 00:36:27,987 until finally she realized I wasn't gonna come... 640 00:36:27,988 --> 00:36:29,071 and pick her up! 641 00:36:29,072 --> 00:36:30,739 If you were a parent you'd know it's called... 642 00:36:30,740 --> 00:36:32,283 the "cry it out method", Malcolm! 643 00:36:32,284 --> 00:36:34,451 Just pick the little bitch up! 644 00:36:34,452 --> 00:36:36,662 She needs to learn somethin', too. 645 00:36:36,663 --> 00:36:38,289 See what I'm saying? 646 00:36:38,290 --> 00:36:43,127 - That is called parenting. - Wow! Mother of the Year. 647 00:36:43,128 --> 00:36:44,595 Thank you. 648 00:36:45,964 --> 00:36:48,432 That crazy doll keyed my car! 649 00:36:49,134 --> 00:36:51,468 Bro, somebody fucked your car up! 650 00:36:51,469 --> 00:36:53,137 You wouldn't know anybody... 651 00:36:53,138 --> 00:36:54,972 - ...with a auto body shop? - Are you serious? 652 00:36:54,973 --> 00:36:56,307 Why, contrary to popular belief... 653 00:36:56,308 --> 00:36:58,017 all Mexicans don't have body shops. 654 00:36:58,018 --> 00:36:59,351 What, you think we all have low riders... 655 00:36:59,352 --> 00:37:00,686 with a bunch of primer all over it... 656 00:37:00,687 --> 00:37:02,021 with a frickin' Mexican horn? 657 00:37:02,022 --> 00:37:04,315 You think I have like six kids and all my relatives livin' there? 658 00:37:04,316 --> 00:37:05,691 Probably chase Chihuahuas and make burritos... 659 00:37:05,692 --> 00:37:06,692 is that what you think? 660 00:37:06,693 --> 00:37:09,320 - Look at the neighborhood, man! - I didn't think any of that! 661 00:37:09,321 --> 00:37:13,451 - I just want my fuckin' car fixed! - I'm just fuckin' with you, bro! 662 00:37:13,491 --> 00:37:15,659 You're so easy, man. Oh, shit. 663 00:37:15,660 --> 00:37:17,161 I got a cousin, his name is Chucho... 664 00:37:17,162 --> 00:37:18,662 he can hook all that shit up, all right? 665 00:37:18,663 --> 00:37:20,164 Stop fuckin' with the crazy bitches. 666 00:37:20,165 --> 00:37:21,665 I gotta go, I got the family waiting. All right? 667 00:37:21,666 --> 00:37:22,333 Be good, man! 668 00:37:22,334 --> 00:37:24,507 Where did she go? 669 00:37:26,004 --> 00:37:28,088 - Take it easy, vato! - Where you goin'? 670 00:37:28,089 --> 00:37:29,381 Goin' to the swap meet. 671 00:37:29,382 --> 00:37:31,675 We're gonna get some Chihuahuas. 672 00:37:31,676 --> 00:37:33,598 Now that's racist! 673 00:37:34,930 --> 00:37:38,599 So I moved into the house across the street and I just love it. 674 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,728 The streets are so quiet. It's perfect for a haunting. 675 00:37:43,271 --> 00:37:46,440 You know, I never got your name. 676 00:37:46,441 --> 00:37:49,610 Kisha? What in the fuck! 677 00:37:49,611 --> 00:37:52,947 - You two know each other? - Oh! Well, yeah. 678 00:37:52,948 --> 00:37:55,658 You know the boyfriend that I told you abandoned me... 679 00:37:55,659 --> 00:37:57,911 and left me in a ditch to die? 680 00:37:58,203 --> 00:37:59,750 That's him. 681 00:38:01,289 --> 00:38:04,291 - Awkward! - Yeah! 682 00:38:04,292 --> 00:38:07,253 I think I'll let you two have at it. 683 00:38:07,254 --> 00:38:10,464 And thank you so much, Megan, for the coffee, really. 684 00:38:10,465 --> 00:38:14,139 And, Malcolm, it was great seeing you. 685 00:38:15,470 --> 00:38:17,096 See you around, Malcolm. 686 00:38:19,975 --> 00:38:21,442 Really? 687 00:38:22,143 --> 00:38:24,645 How come you never told me about her? 688 00:38:24,646 --> 00:38:28,065 Well, it was just a time in my life I just wanted to forget. 689 00:38:28,066 --> 00:38:30,484 You need to star': remembering. She was fucking beautiful! 690 00:38:30,485 --> 00:38:33,445 - She was a'ight. - "A'ight"? 691 00:38:33,446 --> 00:38:36,282 - I mean, she got nice legs. - Legs. 692 00:38:36,283 --> 00:38:40,754 - Little ass, but... - Ass. How 'bout all this? 693 00:38:40,954 --> 00:38:44,623 It's fuckable. Okay? But that's the... all this... 694 00:38:44,624 --> 00:38:46,041 She's crazy! 695 00:38:46,042 --> 00:38:48,127 She was crazy, baby, like she was possessed! 696 00:38:48,128 --> 00:38:51,255 - You mean she was possessive. - No, the bitch was possessed. 697 00:38:51,256 --> 00:38:52,757 - What? - Yes! 698 00:38:52,966 --> 00:38:55,134 First of all, she was verbally abusive. 699 00:38:55,135 --> 00:38:56,677 Hey, baby, what's for dinner? 700 00:38:56,678 --> 00:38:59,727 Eat your mothers pussy you fucking fuck! 701 00:39:01,975 --> 00:39:03,642 It was like she gave up. 702 00:39:03,643 --> 00:39:06,562 Eventually I was able to drag her to couples' therapy. 703 00:39:06,563 --> 00:39:09,231 Dr. Rousch, me and my girlfriend, we're kinda goin' through... 704 00:39:09,232 --> 00:39:10,983 a little rough patch. 705 00:39:10,984 --> 00:39:13,152 I mean, she won't communicate with me. 706 00:39:13,153 --> 00:39:15,621 No matter what I do, she just sits there. 707 00:39:16,990 --> 00:39:19,158 Okay, and she'll growl a little bit. 708 00:39:19,159 --> 00:39:20,409 Yes, I can hear that. 709 00:39:20,410 --> 00:39:22,453 And the smallest things just set her off. 710 00:39:22,454 --> 00:39:24,663 Like crucifixes, or questions. 711 00:39:24,664 --> 00:39:26,632 Is that right, Kisha? 712 00:39:30,003 --> 00:39:32,004 You got a prescription for "crazy bitch"? 713 00:39:32,005 --> 00:39:34,506 Oh, Malcolm, I'm so sorry. 714 00:39:34,507 --> 00:39:39,558 - It sounds horrible. - Well, wasn't all bad. 715 00:39:39,596 --> 00:39:43,566 - Wait, I'm come. - Shut up, you little bitch! 716 00:39:45,435 --> 00:39:47,733 I think you just knocked out a tooth! 717 00:39:49,147 --> 00:39:52,107 Whose ass is this, huh? Whose ass is this? 718 00:39:52,108 --> 00:39:53,905 The Devil's! 719 00:39:55,945 --> 00:39:58,614 See, now you just made it weird. 720 00:39:58,615 --> 00:40:01,083 Look at me, goddamnit! 721 00:40:04,287 --> 00:40:07,757 Oh, my God, that was awesome! 722 00:40:09,292 --> 00:40:12,127 Oh baby, you're makin' my toes do this. 723 00:40:12,128 --> 00:40:13,712 You're makin' my toes do this. 724 00:40:13,713 --> 00:40:15,214 Really, Malcolm? 725 00:40:15,215 --> 00:40:18,093 You know what they say about the crazy ones. 726 00:40:18,968 --> 00:40:21,766 What? Too soon? 727 00:40:27,602 --> 00:40:29,645 There's somethin' goin' on with this box. 728 00:40:29,646 --> 00:40:31,944 I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. 729 00:40:32,690 --> 00:40:35,784 What the heck is this little pervert doin'? 730 00:40:37,987 --> 00:40:40,956 Oh, dude, that is just weird! 731 00:40:42,992 --> 00:40:44,459 Oh, really? 732 00:40:46,996 --> 00:40:50,666 What kind of sweet tooth fairy is this? 733 00:40:50,667 --> 00:40:53,335 - This nigga need a daddy. - "Dear Diary. 734 00:40:53,336 --> 00:40:56,004 I lost my virginity to Joey today. 735 00:40:56,005 --> 00:40:58,340 Actually, that's not totally true. 736 00:40:58,341 --> 00:41:01,811 I mean, I've only had sex with seven... 737 00:41:02,011 --> 00:41:03,345 teen guys... 738 00:41:03,346 --> 00:41:06,474 but only in the butt, so it doesn't count." 739 00:41:08,017 --> 00:41:10,686 "I mean, I've sucked a lot of dicks, Diary. 740 00:41:10,687 --> 00:41:12,521 I stopped counting after the blowjob party... 741 00:41:12,522 --> 00:41:13,605 at Ashley's house. 742 00:41:13,606 --> 00:41:15,691 There must've been 30 or 40 guys there." 743 00:41:15,692 --> 00:41:17,192 She ain't got no bone in her neck. 744 00:41:17,193 --> 00:41:18,527 She got that Plastic Man. 745 00:41:18,528 --> 00:41:22,999 "PS: Diary, I'll never stop sucking dicks. Ever!" 746 00:41:26,369 --> 00:41:27,661 Would you look there? 747 00:41:27,662 --> 00:41:29,705 A mood ring. So, what mood is that? 748 00:41:29,706 --> 00:41:31,707 It's called: "You're not my father". 749 00:41:31,708 --> 00:41:33,625 Yeah, that's bitchy lil' white teenager. 750 00:41:33,626 --> 00:41:36,470 See, that'll get you slapped in most black neighborhoods. 751 00:41:40,633 --> 00:41:42,430 Are you okay? 752 00:41:43,970 --> 00:41:45,471 Becky? 753 00:41:52,312 --> 00:41:55,481 That is some serious meat-mouth you got goin' on there. 754 00:41:55,482 --> 00:42:00,829 It's easier going down than it is coming up. Yeah, it's weird. 755 00:42:01,321 --> 00:42:03,655 Breath smell like sirloin. 756 00:42:03,656 --> 00:42:06,659 I hope that hole cold ain't contagious. 757 00:42:09,662 --> 00:42:11,789 Professor, it's kinda loud there. 758 00:42:11,998 --> 00:42:14,500 Did I catch you at a bad time? 759 00:42:15,335 --> 00:42:18,670 Endicott? I'm a sativa man. I got important shit to do! 760 00:42:18,671 --> 00:42:21,340 Hold on! I'm at a party. 761 00:42:21,341 --> 00:42:23,969 I need some of my medicine. 762 00:42:27,013 --> 00:42:30,858 Professor! How do I get rid of the demon? 763 00:42:31,184 --> 00:42:33,310 Professor! Professor! 764 00:42:33,311 --> 00:42:35,479 Malcolm, that demon's tryin' to get to you through... 765 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,481 your family and he's not gonna stop! 766 00:42:37,482 --> 00:42:39,316 You've got the paranormal equivalent... 767 00:42:39,317 --> 00:42:41,151 of a perfect storm, my friend! 768 00:42:41,152 --> 00:42:42,986 Oh shit! The po-po! 769 00:42:42,987 --> 00:42:44,488 Professor, please! What's goin' on? 770 00:42:44,489 --> 00:42:46,657 I got 12 ounces of crystal meth jammed up my anus. 771 00:42:46,658 --> 00:42:47,741 I gotta get outta here! 772 00:42:47,742 --> 00:42:49,576 - Police! - Oh, fuck! 773 00:42:49,577 --> 00:42:51,662 Professor! Professor, please! 774 00:42:51,663 --> 00:42:54,498 - Hands up now! - I can't go back in! 775 00:42:54,499 --> 00:42:57,923 Professor! How do I get rid of the demon? 776 00:43:00,547 --> 00:43:04,802 You're under arrest! You on the screen, freeze! 777 00:43:08,346 --> 00:43:10,013 Hey, knothead! 778 00:43:10,014 --> 00:43:13,517 Oh no, not my favorite shirt. That bitch. 779 00:43:13,518 --> 00:43:14,940 What the...? 780 00:43:16,020 --> 00:43:19,148 Oh, my God! Are you fucking kidding me? 781 00:43:19,232 --> 00:43:21,985 No, no, no! Not my clothes! No! 782 00:43:27,365 --> 00:43:30,242 Oh, shit! This crazy wooden bitch! 783 00:43:30,243 --> 00:43:32,119 She's burning my clothes! 784 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:35,122 Oh, my God! Oh, it's "Fatal Attraction". 785 00:43:35,123 --> 00:43:38,422 She's gonna boil a rabbit! She's gonna boil a rabbit! 786 00:43:40,128 --> 00:43:42,296 - Can I get you somethin' to drink? - Sure, man. 787 00:43:42,297 --> 00:43:43,589 - Tequila? - Really, bro? 788 00:43:43,590 --> 00:43:45,591 What, you bring the Mexican into your house and: 789 00:43:45,592 --> 00:43:47,968 "He must want tequila, we should give him tequila." 790 00:43:47,969 --> 00:43:50,304 "I'm glad he parked his burro so now I can offer him... 791 00:43:50,305 --> 00:43:51,597 some of his beverage." 792 00:43:51,598 --> 00:43:53,473 I bet you this shit has a worm in it. 793 00:43:53,474 --> 00:43:55,475 Should've walked in here with a serape and a sombrero... 794 00:43:55,476 --> 00:43:57,644 for you too, huh? That's what you wanted really, wasn't it? 795 00:43:57,645 --> 00:44:01,615 You get me all worked up, man! Look, I could use a drink now. 796 00:44:01,649 --> 00:44:03,984 What kind of tequila is it? Is it silver? 797 00:44:03,985 --> 00:44:06,320 'Cause I can't drink that gold shit. That's for cholos. 798 00:44:06,321 --> 00:44:08,780 - Thank you, man. - We're becomin' friends, right? 799 00:44:08,781 --> 00:44:10,578 Now we are. 800 00:44:11,326 --> 00:44:15,162 - I could trust you with things. - I mean, I can keep a secret, man. 801 00:44:15,163 --> 00:44:16,455 I'm good at that shit. 802 00:44:16,456 --> 00:44:17,998 The neighbors next door to me don't even know... 803 00:44:17,999 --> 00:44:19,166 there's a black guy living here yet. 804 00:44:19,167 --> 00:44:20,884 So, what do you wanna talk about? 805 00:44:21,002 --> 00:44:25,005 Okay, you know the people that lived in this house before me? 806 00:44:25,006 --> 00:44:27,174 Was there anything strange goin' on... 807 00:44:27,175 --> 00:44:29,551 like were they actin' weird or anything? 808 00:44:29,552 --> 00:44:32,271 You saw somethin' a little... 809 00:44:32,972 --> 00:44:36,975 - spooky, or supernatural...? - I seen some shit. 810 00:44:36,976 --> 00:44:39,102 Come on, man, you don't believe in that, do you? 811 00:44:39,103 --> 00:44:40,646 'Cause if you did, you know, you'd have been like... 812 00:44:40,647 --> 00:44:42,648 "Nigger, I'm out! Not gonna do this." 813 00:44:42,649 --> 00:44:45,150 You mean to tell me you don't believe in the paranormal? 814 00:44:45,151 --> 00:44:47,653 'Course I believe in that shit! I'm half Mexican, bro! 815 00:44:47,654 --> 00:44:50,322 I believe in all that shit people don't believe in. 816 00:44:50,323 --> 00:44:55,661 Freakin' La Llorona, El Cucui, Chupacabra, Bigfoot, Obamacare. 817 00:44:55,662 --> 00:44:57,329 Interracial dating. Nuclear war. 818 00:44:57,330 --> 00:44:59,998 You name it, I'm all for it. 819 00:44:59,999 --> 00:45:03,335 Me personally, I wouldn't stay one night in this house. 820 00:45:03,336 --> 00:45:04,503 Oh, shit! 821 00:45:04,504 --> 00:45:06,588 Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, bro. 822 00:45:06,589 --> 00:45:09,007 When I first found out that there was a black guy... 823 00:45:09,008 --> 00:45:10,258 movin' in the neighborhood... 824 00:45:10,259 --> 00:45:13,178 I was like... there goes the property value... 825 00:45:13,179 --> 00:45:15,180 I'm gonna have to keep the kids inside... 826 00:45:15,181 --> 00:45:16,348 there's gonna be gangs... 827 00:45:16,349 --> 00:45:19,393 I'm gonna have to cover graffiti, but you turned out to be okay. 828 00:45:19,394 --> 00:45:20,394 You're really cool! 829 00:45:20,395 --> 00:45:23,689 You're very accommodating. I think I can help you. 830 00:45:23,690 --> 00:45:24,941 Really. 831 00:45:26,150 --> 00:45:28,360 I need you to cut the chicken's neck. 832 00:45:28,361 --> 00:45:29,695 Oh, hell fuckin' no! 833 00:45:29,696 --> 00:45:31,363 You wanna get rid of the demon or not? 834 00:45:31,364 --> 00:45:33,365 I know, but can't we just go down to the store... 835 00:45:33,366 --> 00:45:35,367 - ...and just like, buy a chicken? - No, man! 836 00:45:35,368 --> 00:45:37,703 You need a blood sacrifice. 837 00:45:37,704 --> 00:45:40,288 Right. Come here. Let's do it. 838 00:45:40,289 --> 00:45:42,290 Hold on! Hold up, wait a second! 839 00:45:42,291 --> 00:45:44,042 Let me get my shit together. 840 00:45:44,043 --> 00:45:46,545 You gonna shit in my baby's cereal, chicken? 841 00:45:46,546 --> 00:45:50,926 You wanna piss on my momma? In her face? 842 00:45:53,302 --> 00:45:55,600 I'll fuck your thing! 843 00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,058 Where did you get this chicken? Your uncle's farm? 844 00:46:00,059 --> 00:46:01,977 No! A cock fighting ring. 845 00:46:01,978 --> 00:46:03,946 You so dead, motherfucka. 846 00:46:12,655 --> 00:46:15,490 Whassup, chicken, you scared? Whassup? 847 00:46:15,491 --> 00:46:17,959 You don't want none of this, motherfucker! 848 00:46:20,997 --> 00:46:24,797 Bite him back, Malcolm! Bite him back! 849 00:46:28,171 --> 00:46:29,337 Drown, bitch! 850 00:46:29,338 --> 00:46:31,465 I'll kill your ass! 851 00:46:32,008 --> 00:46:35,057 Watch what I do to your fuckin' baby! 852 00:46:38,931 --> 00:46:41,559 What you doin', man? What'd you do? 853 00:46:44,187 --> 00:46:46,564 This pollo is loco! 854 00:46:52,278 --> 00:46:54,613 You got him, Malcolm! That's right! 855 00:46:54,614 --> 00:46:56,991 Yeah, you fucked that chicken. 856 00:47:05,625 --> 00:47:08,126 You gotta go to that great bucket in the sky! 857 00:47:08,127 --> 00:47:10,629 Tell the Colonel I said hi! 858 00:47:14,550 --> 00:47:15,592 Shit! 859 00:47:15,593 --> 00:47:18,637 That was like an intense-ass game of Angry Birds, man! 860 00:47:18,638 --> 00:47:21,640 Fuck, bro, you did it! I think this house is clean! 861 00:47:21,641 --> 00:47:24,476 Well, maybe not clean, but the demon's gone for sure. 862 00:47:24,477 --> 00:47:27,145 What the hell are we gonna do with all this chicken, Malcolm? 863 00:47:27,146 --> 00:47:29,648 Oh, yeah, ask the black guy. 864 00:47:33,277 --> 00:47:35,450 Cheers. Right on! 865 00:47:39,283 --> 00:47:42,081 What in the fuck! 866 00:47:44,205 --> 00:47:46,581 You! This is nuts! 867 00:47:46,582 --> 00:47:50,627 You hear me, you googly-eyed bitch wanton bitch! Come on! 868 00:47:50,628 --> 00:47:55,599 You're making me bury your fuckin' ass! 869 00:48:00,638 --> 00:48:02,105 Get in there! 870 00:48:02,306 --> 00:48:04,604 Die there, bitch! 871 00:48:05,142 --> 00:48:07,978 B-I-T... 872 00:48:07,979 --> 00:48:10,573 Fuckin' bitch! 873 00:48:11,983 --> 00:48:13,780 You want some of this? 874 00:48:16,988 --> 00:48:20,156 All right, prepare to meet your maker! 875 00:48:20,157 --> 00:48:24,127 That's right, I'm sending you back to Taiwan! 876 00:48:24,328 --> 00:48:26,746 You smell like piss and shit! 877 00:48:26,747 --> 00:48:29,716 Come on! You make me sick! 878 00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:35,422 You know what brown can do for me? Take this! 879 00:48:35,423 --> 00:48:38,392 You sign! Get the fuck outta here! 880 00:48:40,928 --> 00:48:43,430 See, I tried to do it the easy way. 881 00:48:43,431 --> 00:48:45,682 Now you're gonna make me violent. 882 00:48:45,683 --> 00:48:49,062 Come on, you fuck! Shut up! 883 00:48:52,607 --> 00:48:54,941 How you like that, bitch? I want you to watch. 884 00:48:54,942 --> 00:48:57,035 Let's see you writing now! 885 00:48:58,279 --> 00:49:01,114 Miss me? This is fun. 886 00:49:01,115 --> 00:49:04,084 We about to have a barbecue. Get in there. 887 00:49:04,952 --> 00:49:06,620 Yeah! Hey, how you doin'? 888 00:49:06,621 --> 00:49:09,590 You gonna fuckin' burn today, baby! 889 00:49:11,959 --> 00:49:15,087 That's what fucking hell feels like! 890 00:49:40,279 --> 00:49:42,614 You fuckin', fuckin' doll! 891 00:49:42,615 --> 00:49:46,201 I don't want you! Just die, you little... 892 00:49:46,202 --> 00:49:50,752 I'll fuckin' cut your goddamn eye out, you bitch! 893 00:49:52,458 --> 00:49:53,925 Malcolm! 894 00:49:54,460 --> 00:49:56,962 - Don't say nothing. - What did you do to our room? 895 00:49:56,963 --> 00:49:58,630 Honey, it's not what it looks like, okay? 896 00:49:58,631 --> 00:50:00,548 - Really? - Listen, listen to me. 897 00:50:00,549 --> 00:50:04,135 This one, she's crazy! It's not me, she's crazy! 898 00:50:04,136 --> 00:50:06,304 - You're crazy. You're crazy. - No, honey! 899 00:50:06,305 --> 00:50:08,306 - It's not what it looks like! - Yeah, right. 900 00:50:08,307 --> 00:50:11,643 I'm not done wit' you, you fuckin' home-wrecker! 901 00:50:11,644 --> 00:50:13,111 God! 902 00:50:14,313 --> 00:50:16,147 See, nobody will listen to the black guy! 903 00:50:16,148 --> 00:50:18,733 So everybody dead! I see how you lookin' at me. 904 00:50:18,734 --> 00:50:21,987 Let me tell you somethin': This house is haunted. 905 00:50:21,988 --> 00:50:24,656 You know that little doll that you like so much? Abigail? 906 00:50:24,657 --> 00:50:26,658 Let me tell you somethin' about Abigail. 907 00:50:26,659 --> 00:50:27,659 She's alive! 908 00:50:27,660 --> 00:50:29,995 That's right, she's alive! 909 00:50:29,996 --> 00:50:33,665 Not like alive, alive, but alive as in "is possessed." 910 00:50:33,666 --> 00:50:35,083 You know how I know? 911 00:50:35,084 --> 00:50:37,669 'Cause it made me have sex with it! Repeatedly! 912 00:50:37,670 --> 00:50:41,089 Upstairs, downstairs, in the kitchen, in the yard! 913 00:50:41,090 --> 00:50:43,133 While you were sleepin' next to us! 914 00:50:43,134 --> 00:50:45,010 Right there where you're sitting, twice! 915 00:50:45,011 --> 00:50:47,512 And that's why, when you came upstairs and you caught me... 916 00:50:47,513 --> 00:50:50,223 and I was killing the doll, because I was just like... 917 00:50:50,224 --> 00:50:52,017 "You're fuckin' up my relationship!" 918 00:50:52,018 --> 00:50:54,816 And that box? It's cursed! 919 00:50:55,021 --> 00:50:57,022 That box and that box. 920 00:50:57,023 --> 00:50:59,524 That's haunted with a demon. That box, cursed with dudes. 921 00:50:59,525 --> 00:51:00,525 But that's a whole 'nother story. 922 00:51:00,526 --> 00:51:02,360 And your son, his little imaginary friend... 923 00:51:02,361 --> 00:51:05,697 that teaches him curse words and gets him crunk on vodka! 924 00:51:05,698 --> 00:51:08,616 Yeah, yeah, I'm blowing your spot, little man. 925 00:51:08,617 --> 00:51:11,536 - Well, he's not so imaginary! - He's cray! 926 00:51:11,537 --> 00:51:14,205 No, no, no. You cray! You cray-cray! 927 00:51:14,206 --> 00:51:16,583 You and your whole lot of other ethnic words... 928 00:51:16,584 --> 00:51:19,377 that's goin' out of style. You ain't funky fresh or dope. 929 00:51:19,378 --> 00:51:21,046 So, how 'bout that, cray-cray? 930 00:51:21,047 --> 00:51:23,174 Mom, he's scaring me. 931 00:51:24,050 --> 00:51:26,718 Is that the nigga whose room exploded? 932 00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:30,055 I'm scarin' you! Opie, you somethin' else! 933 00:51:30,056 --> 00:51:31,723 You know what, that's it. 934 00:51:31,724 --> 00:51:34,726 I've had enough of this whole haunted house craziness! 935 00:51:34,727 --> 00:51:37,228 It's bad enough that you think it's real... 936 00:51:37,229 --> 00:51:39,314 but now you're scaring the kids! 937 00:51:39,315 --> 00:51:40,648 - I'm scaring the kids! - Yes! 938 00:51:40,649 --> 00:51:44,486 Ain't that the pot callin' the kettle a nigga! 939 00:51:44,487 --> 00:51:45,528 No, no, no, baby! 940 00:51:45,529 --> 00:51:48,740 Your kids are scaring me! Okay? 941 00:51:48,741 --> 00:51:50,033 Look at this one! 942 00:51:50,034 --> 00:51:51,493 She's Marilyn Manson in the skin... 943 00:51:51,494 --> 00:51:53,369 and Charlie Manson in the eyes! 944 00:51:53,370 --> 00:51:54,746 Her eyes are crazy, okay? 945 00:51:54,747 --> 00:51:57,165 That's a crazy woman carryin' around a box... 946 00:51:57,166 --> 00:51:58,541 like fuckin' Lionel on the Peanuts... 947 00:51:58,542 --> 00:52:01,586 and he's hangin' out with dead niggas and I'm crazy? 948 00:52:01,587 --> 00:52:03,671 So, what am I supposed to do with all this? 949 00:52:03,672 --> 00:52:06,299 Maybe you weren't ready! Maybe we moved in too soon. 950 00:52:06,300 --> 00:52:08,343 Maybe you're not ready for a family! 951 00:52:08,344 --> 00:52:10,386 But we come as a package deal, okay? 952 00:52:10,387 --> 00:52:12,639 This ain't about you or them, okay? 953 00:52:13,015 --> 00:52:14,015 Bullshit. 954 00:52:14,016 --> 00:52:16,017 No! Hey! Don't touch that shit! 955 00:52:16,018 --> 00:52:19,270 Don't touch it! There's a demon ring. 956 00:52:19,271 --> 00:52:21,022 Don't you answer that, you hear? 957 00:52:21,023 --> 00:52:22,774 That's the devil callin' right there. 958 00:52:22,775 --> 00:52:24,776 That is an evil ring! You hear that? 959 00:52:24,777 --> 00:52:27,195 Yeah, I said it, a demon ring! 960 00:52:27,196 --> 00:52:30,365 And you can insta tweet that on your gram-o-vine! 961 00:52:30,366 --> 00:52:31,833 Nobody touch it! 962 00:52:32,284 --> 00:52:35,128 Stop ringing! 963 00:52:36,956 --> 00:52:40,801 Stop ringing! Stop! 964 00:52:44,964 --> 00:52:48,934 - That's a demon callin'. - Malcolm? Your pocket. 965 00:52:53,639 --> 00:52:55,640 We gotta change my ringer. 966 00:52:55,641 --> 00:52:59,310 Why do we even have home phones anymore? 967 00:52:59,311 --> 00:53:00,607 I mean... 968 00:53:02,148 --> 00:53:03,982 Yeah? Who is it? 969 00:53:03,983 --> 00:53:05,316 What the hell? 970 00:53:05,317 --> 00:53:08,661 Hey, how you doin', officer? What's goin' on? 971 00:53:09,655 --> 00:53:12,323 We got a call about a domestic dispute. 972 00:53:12,324 --> 00:53:13,741 Are you Malcolm Johnson? 973 00:53:13,742 --> 00:53:16,161 Yeah, that's me, but there's no dispute. 974 00:53:16,162 --> 00:53:17,412 I mean, the phone, but... 975 00:53:17,413 --> 00:53:19,497 - You're under arrest. - For what? 976 00:53:19,498 --> 00:53:22,208 - Oh, my God! - Just raised the voice a little bit! 977 00:53:22,209 --> 00:53:24,002 How could I call? My phone is broken! 978 00:53:24,003 --> 00:53:26,171 I know what... It's the doll! It's the doll! 979 00:53:26,172 --> 00:53:27,505 It was the doll, brother, listen! 980 00:53:27,506 --> 00:53:30,341 There's this doll, I was fuckin' this doll, right? 981 00:53:30,342 --> 00:53:32,635 - He's on PCP. - No, I'm not on PCP! 982 00:53:32,636 --> 00:53:35,305 You fuckin' bitch! You fuckin' bitch! 983 00:53:35,306 --> 00:53:36,973 You fuckin' bitch! 984 00:53:36,974 --> 00:53:39,101 Malcolm, maybe this is for the best. 985 00:54:20,309 --> 00:54:23,813 Canister of gas for death. 986 00:54:28,025 --> 00:54:31,495 Now you burn... fire. 987 00:55:06,146 --> 00:55:07,613 What is... 988 00:55:09,650 --> 00:55:11,117 Malcolm? 989 00:55:18,492 --> 00:55:20,118 Malcolm? 990 00:55:21,036 --> 00:55:24,255 Damn, son, you look fucked up! 991 00:55:24,331 --> 00:55:27,500 Don't look at me. Don't look at me! 992 00:55:27,501 --> 00:55:30,670 Mom, your man's in here pukin' like a little bitch! 993 00:55:30,671 --> 00:55:32,798 See that shit, Tony? 994 00:55:36,468 --> 00:55:38,553 Sometimes the victim may be tormented... 995 00:55:38,554 --> 00:55:40,305 by more than one demon. 996 00:55:40,306 --> 00:55:42,307 These cases lead to transference. 997 00:55:42,308 --> 00:55:44,475 Trans who? What the fuck is that, dog? 998 00:55:44,476 --> 00:55:47,312 - Father Williams! Mind your tongue. - You are a man of the cloth! 999 00:55:47,313 --> 00:55:50,148 Damn man, ain't like I'm rapin' mu'fuckers no more... 1000 00:55:50,149 --> 00:55:51,607 you know what I'm sayin'? 1001 00:55:51,608 --> 00:55:54,193 Shit. Keep on wit' your little lesson, brother. 1002 00:55:54,194 --> 00:55:57,196 Victims have also been known to break their own bones... 1003 00:55:57,197 --> 00:55:59,991 - ...during the possession. - True. That happened to me. 1004 00:55:59,992 --> 00:56:03,077 I was first in prison, I was tryin' to give myself head, right? 1005 00:56:03,078 --> 00:56:04,329 'Cause I ain't know nobody. 1006 00:56:04,330 --> 00:56:06,622 If I woulda knew somebody, I wouldn't have had... 1007 00:56:06,623 --> 00:56:08,624 to do it to myself. And it wasn't no, no gay shit. 1008 00:56:08,625 --> 00:56:10,501 - First get that out your head. - That's enough! 1009 00:56:10,502 --> 00:56:12,337 I've had enough of your insolence! 1010 00:56:12,338 --> 00:56:14,339 My what? My insolence? 1011 00:56:14,340 --> 00:56:17,175 Dog, you gonna bring up my condition right now? 1012 00:56:17,176 --> 00:56:20,178 You gonna bring up my diabetes, dog! 1013 00:56:20,179 --> 00:56:21,679 Talkin' 'bout my insolence. 1014 00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:25,141 'Cause I like cake? Yeah, I like cake, guys. 1015 00:56:25,142 --> 00:56:27,518 I like cake, birthday cake, all kinds of cake. 1016 00:56:27,519 --> 00:56:29,604 Now come on, cake, cake, cake! 1017 00:56:29,605 --> 00:56:33,107 Man, you know what? I'm sick o' yo' shit! 1018 00:56:33,108 --> 00:56:34,442 Get outta here! 1019 00:56:34,443 --> 00:56:37,945 Everybody break out. Get your boy wit' you. 1020 00:56:37,946 --> 00:56:40,744 Yeah. I mean really, man. 1021 00:56:42,451 --> 00:56:43,618 Wooh. Malcolm? 1022 00:56:43,619 --> 00:56:45,286 Hey, Father Williams! 1023 00:56:45,287 --> 00:56:47,372 Fuck, nigga, what'd I tell you about callin' me that? 1024 00:56:47,373 --> 00:56:50,291 - I'm sorry. Hey, Doug! - Roll down, man! 1025 00:56:50,292 --> 00:56:52,960 I'm sorry you caught that, man. 1026 00:56:52,961 --> 00:56:54,629 I'm so stressed out, man. 1027 00:56:54,630 --> 00:56:57,173 I had to shank a mo'fu. You saw that, right? 1028 00:56:57,174 --> 00:57:00,093 - I didn't see nothin'. - That's a good answer. 1029 00:57:00,094 --> 00:57:01,344 That's a good answer. 1030 00:57:01,345 --> 00:57:04,013 If you saw it, if you woulda said yes, I woulda... 1031 00:57:04,014 --> 00:57:06,974 That's all right, I don't have nothin'. 1032 00:57:06,975 --> 00:57:08,309 That's the only one I had. 1033 00:57:08,310 --> 00:57:10,645 I used to have two shanks, but I don't keep that anymore. 1034 00:57:10,646 --> 00:57:12,063 I stopped doin' two shanks... 1035 00:57:12,064 --> 00:57:14,148 'cause it just was a thang, and ever'body was like: 1036 00:57:14,149 --> 00:57:15,149 "Two shanks." 1037 00:57:15,150 --> 00:57:17,318 Yeah, so... how you doin'? 1038 00:57:17,319 --> 00:57:20,405 I... I need your help. 1039 00:57:20,406 --> 00:57:24,242 - It's happenin', Doug. - Hell no! 1040 00:57:24,243 --> 00:57:27,328 I'm not comin' over there and fuckin' with you... 1041 00:57:27,329 --> 00:57:28,996 and your creepy lil' bitch again! 1042 00:57:28,997 --> 00:57:30,331 I ain't even with that bitch no more! 1043 00:57:30,332 --> 00:57:32,083 I'm beggin' you, man, I just need your help. 1044 00:57:32,084 --> 00:57:33,292 I just don't know who else to go to. 1045 00:57:33,293 --> 00:57:35,420 Let me explain to you why I became a priest. 1046 00:57:35,421 --> 00:57:37,588 Now, obvious one is for the little boys. 1047 00:57:37,589 --> 00:57:38,423 Yes. 1048 00:57:38,424 --> 00:57:42,593 - What're you talkin' about? - It's a joke, Malcolm! 1049 00:57:42,594 --> 00:57:43,678 No, it was a joke. 1050 00:57:43,679 --> 00:57:44,512 No, it was a joke. 1051 00:57:44,513 --> 00:57:46,514 I did that, you know, put it on the priests... 1052 00:57:46,515 --> 00:57:48,099 and we laugh, that's all. 1053 00:57:48,100 --> 00:57:51,936 But I don't know if I can help you wit' your demon situation... 1054 00:57:51,937 --> 00:57:54,439 because I haven't been stayin' steady... 1055 00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,650 on my demon fightin' skills, is what I'm tryin' to tell you. 1056 00:57:57,651 --> 00:58:01,121 Malcolm, day after day... 1057 00:58:01,947 --> 00:58:04,157 when you know you can't win... 1058 00:58:04,158 --> 00:58:07,618 you're just prolonging the inevitable! 1059 00:58:07,619 --> 00:58:10,621 All you gotta do is let them in. 1060 00:58:10,622 --> 00:58:12,540 Are you talkin' about the Devil? 1061 00:58:12,541 --> 00:58:15,293 Worse. The Kardashians. 1062 00:58:15,294 --> 00:58:20,381 Yeah, it's the crazy mama, it's Kim, Khloe, Courtney crazy... 1063 00:58:20,382 --> 00:58:21,632 the two little ones... 1064 00:58:21,633 --> 00:58:24,469 they gonna be freaks. They got Lamar, they got Scott... 1065 00:58:24,470 --> 00:58:24,510 Rob Fat the motherfucker, Bruce with the acne. 1066 00:58:24,511 --> 00:58:27,972 Rob Fat the motherfucker, Bruce with the acne. 1067 00:58:27,973 --> 00:58:30,141 What the fuck is wrong with Bruce Jenner face? 1068 00:58:30,142 --> 00:58:31,517 He look like a monster! 1069 00:58:31,518 --> 00:58:34,937 He scares me at night! And he on in daytime. 1070 00:58:34,938 --> 00:58:37,273 He don't look like the nigga that was on the Wheatie box! 1071 00:58:37,274 --> 00:58:38,149 - And Kanye! And Kanye! - And Julianne Hough! 1072 00:58:38,150 --> 00:58:40,276 - And Kanye! And Kanye! - And Julianne Hough! 1073 00:58:40,277 --> 00:58:41,611 I love it and I hate it. 1074 00:58:41,612 --> 00:58:44,280 They took Kanye and they changed him. 1075 00:58:44,281 --> 00:58:45,281 Doug, you know... 1076 00:58:45,282 --> 00:58:48,117 You have to let go of me, Doug. 1077 00:58:48,118 --> 00:58:51,120 - You can't... - Doug, you gotta let go of me! 1078 00:58:51,121 --> 00:58:51,746 There's no place you can hide. He has a plan for you. 1079 00:58:51,747 --> 00:58:55,124 There's no place you can hide. He has a plan for you. 1080 00:58:55,125 --> 00:58:57,168 - Doug, get offa me. - He will get you! 1081 00:58:57,169 --> 00:59:00,593 Doug, get your hands offa me! What the fuck is wrong wit' you? 1082 00:59:05,636 --> 00:59:08,721 Oh, you're the one that got us out here in the hot heat! 1083 00:59:08,722 --> 00:59:11,307 Making me bang all on the windows with my good church hat! 1084 00:59:11,308 --> 00:59:14,310 Hon, I could be at home watchin' that new Madea movie! 1085 00:59:14,311 --> 00:59:15,978 What's the name of that Madea movie... 1086 00:59:15,979 --> 00:59:17,647 with the little girl from The Fresh Prince? 1087 00:59:17,648 --> 00:59:18,981 You know the one, she played the head of NASA. 1088 00:59:18,982 --> 00:59:19,482 You know the one, she played the head of NASA. 1089 00:59:19,483 --> 00:59:20,525 With the aliens! 1090 00:59:20,526 --> 00:59:23,653 - "Madea Goes To Mars"! - "Madea Goes To Mars," that's it! 1091 00:59:23,654 --> 00:59:26,989 Hold on, ain't you that brother that just moved... 1092 00:59:26,990 --> 00:59:29,959 into old Burton place? 1093 00:59:29,993 --> 00:59:32,245 - Yeah, it's just... - With a white woman! 1094 00:59:32,246 --> 00:59:32,578 Well, she's not all the way white. 1095 00:59:32,579 --> 00:59:34,163 Well, she's not all the way white. 1096 00:59:34,164 --> 00:59:36,916 She's a white woman damn near clear! 1097 00:59:36,917 --> 00:59:38,918 Come on now, it's 2013. 1098 00:59:38,919 --> 00:59:41,337 Interracial relationships is not a big deal. 1099 00:59:41,338 --> 00:59:42,255 What? 1100 00:59:42,256 --> 00:59:44,590 You need to tell that to the lonely sista. 1101 00:59:44,591 --> 00:59:46,217 Look at this one right here. Right here! 1102 00:59:46,218 --> 00:59:46,259 Look at this one right here. Right here! 1103 00:59:46,260 --> 00:59:48,261 Honey, show him how you drop it like it's hot! 1104 00:59:48,262 --> 00:59:50,596 Hold up, Bertha, hold up. Hold up. 1105 00:59:50,597 --> 00:59:52,265 We ain't got no defibrillator. 1106 00:59:52,266 --> 00:59:54,183 You know what it is with the white girl? 1107 00:59:54,184 --> 00:59:56,602 They do that cungalingus, the finga-ligga-linga. 1108 00:59:56,603 --> 00:59:58,563 What is it, the fellatio? 1109 00:59:58,564 --> 00:59:59,814 That's what it is, they go deep. 1110 00:59:59,815 --> 01:00:00,940 That's what it is, they go deep. 1111 01:00:00,941 --> 01:00:04,360 - You know they ain't got no insides. - I think that's my cue to go. 1112 01:00:04,361 --> 01:00:06,571 'Scuse me, sistas. Have a good sermon. 1113 01:00:06,572 --> 01:00:11,284 - Where you goin'? - Let it go! You're angry! 1114 01:00:11,285 --> 01:00:13,411 Brother be trippin', that's why I got me... 1115 01:00:13,412 --> 01:00:13,494 Brother be trippin', that's why I got me... 1116 01:00:13,495 --> 01:00:14,954 a white man at home. 1117 01:00:14,955 --> 01:00:17,583 - Yeah, girl. - Vanilla my flavor. 1118 01:00:20,127 --> 01:00:22,420 - Hello, Malcolm. - Professor Wilde, thank God. 1119 01:00:22,421 --> 01:00:24,171 I been tryin' to reach you! 1120 01:00:24,172 --> 01:00:26,465 I'm sorry, Malcolm, I've been a bit tied up. 1121 01:00:26,466 --> 01:00:29,135 I haven't been able to find any more on Ahghoul... 1122 01:00:29,136 --> 01:00:31,304 though my resources are a bit limited. 1123 01:00:31,305 --> 01:00:33,973 Professor? Where the hell are you? 1124 01:00:33,974 --> 01:00:36,183 Doin' a stretch of five to ten. 1125 01:00:36,184 --> 01:00:38,978 Apparently the authorities frown on sellin' meth... 1126 01:00:38,979 --> 01:00:40,646 to college students. 1127 01:00:40,647 --> 01:00:42,315 Yeah, apparently. 1128 01:00:42,316 --> 01:00:44,525 You need to hang up that computer call... 1129 01:00:44,526 --> 01:00:47,445 come here and kiss me on my hot mouth. 1130 01:00:47,446 --> 01:00:50,574 I'm feelin' romantical. 1131 01:00:50,699 --> 01:00:53,200 Well, Malcolm, I suppose I should get going. 1132 01:00:53,201 --> 01:00:55,328 But I will be e-mailing you the contacts of associates... 1133 01:00:55,329 --> 01:00:56,329 who'll be able to help. 1134 01:00:56,330 --> 01:00:58,122 I don't mean to be pushy, but any way... 1135 01:00:58,123 --> 01:00:59,582 you could do that before you get raped? 1136 01:00:59,583 --> 01:01:03,669 What part of Mandingo party do you not understand? 1137 01:01:03,670 --> 01:01:06,631 It's time to power the white rabbit. 1138 01:01:06,632 --> 01:01:07,465 You know.... dirty the snow. 1139 01:01:07,466 --> 01:01:09,639 You know.... dirty the snow. 1140 01:01:10,010 --> 01:01:13,184 - I'm screwed. - It's not that bad. 1141 01:01:14,014 --> 01:01:17,063 Lights, please. Thank you. 1142 01:01:18,018 --> 01:01:21,020 So after several exhausting days of the exorcism... 1143 01:01:21,021 --> 01:01:24,357 I threw some holy water on her, read an incantation... 1144 01:01:24,358 --> 01:01:27,862 and the demon left the woman's body. 1145 01:01:28,362 --> 01:01:31,322 I suppose I just sat back and watched. 1146 01:01:31,323 --> 01:01:34,633 I mean, I'm just the medium who puts her life in danger... 1147 01:01:34,701 --> 01:01:37,328 Every time she reaches out to demonic forces. 1148 01:01:37,329 --> 01:01:40,122 But you've got a Bible and a bottle of holy water... 1149 01:01:40,123 --> 01:01:42,333 so you make the world a safer place! 1150 01:01:42,334 --> 01:01:44,210 The fact is, people, is that God is real... 1151 01:01:44,211 --> 01:01:47,635 the Devil is real, and monsters exist. 1152 01:01:48,006 --> 01:01:51,175 They're vicious, terrifying entities! 1153 01:01:51,176 --> 01:01:54,011 But the good news is, Santa Claus doesn't exist... 1154 01:01:54,012 --> 01:01:56,764 so you don't have to worry about some creepy old guy... 1155 01:01:56,765 --> 01:01:59,350 - ...coming down your chimney. - What exactly are you guys? 1156 01:01:59,351 --> 01:02:01,185 And who the fuck hired you? 1157 01:02:01,186 --> 01:02:01,936 You can call us Ned and Noreen. 1158 01:02:01,937 --> 01:02:03,688 You can call us Ned and Noreen. 1159 01:02:03,689 --> 01:02:06,273 See? This is why you don't hire from Craig's List. 1160 01:02:06,274 --> 01:02:07,821 Asshole! 1161 01:02:10,028 --> 01:02:13,364 I don't understand why you always have to take the credit! 1162 01:02:13,365 --> 01:02:15,533 I mean, even your name comes first on our book cover... 1163 01:02:15,534 --> 01:02:16,242 I mean, even your name comes first on our book cover... 1164 01:02:16,243 --> 01:02:18,035 and I am the one with a gift! 1165 01:02:18,036 --> 01:02:19,537 It's not my fault that Ned comes before Noreen... 1166 01:02:19,538 --> 01:02:21,038 in alphabetical order! 1167 01:02:21,039 --> 01:02:23,374 Is that why Ned comes before Noreen in the bedroom? 1168 01:02:23,375 --> 01:02:25,459 Just once I'd like you to do that thing with your thumb... 1169 01:02:25,460 --> 01:02:27,545 and your forefinger. I think they call it the "Shocker"? 1170 01:02:27,546 --> 01:02:29,171 Yeah, well, I would like you to do that thing... 1171 01:02:29,172 --> 01:02:29,630 Yeah, well, I would like you to do that thing... 1172 01:02:29,631 --> 01:02:31,549 with my balls and the Shocker... 1173 01:02:31,550 --> 01:02:33,634 Hi! Can we help you? 1174 01:02:33,635 --> 01:02:36,971 Yes. There's something horrible happening in my house. 1175 01:02:36,972 --> 01:02:39,140 My family doesn't realize what's going on, but I do! 1176 01:02:39,141 --> 01:02:41,642 I'm sure that there's a rational explanation... 1177 01:02:41,643 --> 01:02:42,768 Please! They're white! 1178 01:02:42,769 --> 01:02:43,644 Please! They're white! 1179 01:02:43,645 --> 01:02:45,312 Why didn't you say that? 1180 01:02:45,313 --> 01:02:47,398 Oh, my God! You should lead with that! 1181 01:02:47,399 --> 01:02:50,526 I mean, if you're black we just assume that your hauntings are... 1182 01:02:50,527 --> 01:02:53,028 bill collectors or racist police officers. 1183 01:02:53,029 --> 01:02:56,407 But 99% of all hauntings happen to white people, that's a fact. 1184 01:02:56,408 --> 01:02:56,991 But 99% of all hauntings happen to white people, that's a fact. 1185 01:02:56,992 --> 01:03:00,327 What he means to say is, of course we'll help you. 1186 01:03:00,328 --> 01:03:01,370 Thank you so much. 1187 01:03:01,371 --> 01:03:03,330 So we're here to help you people. 1188 01:03:03,331 --> 01:03:05,750 And before you get worked up, I mean "you people" as a couple. 1189 01:03:05,751 --> 01:03:07,752 It wasn't racist till you explained it. 1190 01:03:07,753 --> 01:03:08,377 Yeah. 1191 01:03:08,378 --> 01:03:10,004 The bad news is, you have a demon in your house. 1192 01:03:10,005 --> 01:03:11,505 The bad news is, you have a demon in your house. 1193 01:03:11,506 --> 01:03:12,590 Here we go again. 1194 01:03:12,591 --> 01:03:15,509 Okay, wait. So the house really is haunted? 1195 01:03:15,510 --> 01:03:19,013 Megan, it's not the house that's haunted. 1196 01:03:19,014 --> 01:03:22,349 I knew it! I knew it! It's always the little white girl. 1197 01:03:22,350 --> 01:03:23,601 Think about it. "The Exorcist", "The Last Exorcism"... 1198 01:03:23,602 --> 01:03:25,186 Think about it. "The Exorcist", "The Last Exorcism"... 1199 01:03:25,187 --> 01:03:27,521 "The Exorcism of Emily Rose", all white girls. 1200 01:03:27,522 --> 01:03:29,356 'Cause ain't no black parents gonna have no white girls... 1201 01:03:29,357 --> 01:03:31,275 talkin' like that. "Bitch, whatta you mean? 1202 01:03:31,276 --> 01:03:33,402 Who're you cursin' at? And turn the fuckin' air down in here!" 1203 01:03:33,403 --> 01:03:35,112 Malcolm, just listen for a second. 1204 01:03:35,113 --> 01:03:37,239 When we first met you, there was something... 1205 01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:37,615 When we first met you, there was something... 1206 01:03:37,616 --> 01:03:39,658 attached to you. 1207 01:03:39,659 --> 01:03:42,286 That was a hemorrhoid. That was... it's good now. 1208 01:03:42,287 --> 01:03:44,705 This dark entity has attached itself to him... 1209 01:03:44,706 --> 01:03:47,082 and now it's feeding off of all of you. 1210 01:03:47,083 --> 01:03:49,960 So what you're saying is that this is all Malcolm's fault. 1211 01:03:49,961 --> 01:03:50,669 That's right. 1212 01:03:50,670 --> 01:03:50,836 Your family could've left here at any time, but now you're stuck. 1213 01:03:50,837 --> 01:03:54,298 Your family could've left here at any time, but now you're stuck. 1214 01:03:54,299 --> 01:03:56,634 Like a piece of toilet paper stuck on your shoe... 1215 01:03:56,635 --> 01:03:58,135 when you leave the bathroom. 1216 01:03:58,136 --> 01:04:00,304 Your wife knew the whole time, but she didn't tell you... 1217 01:04:00,305 --> 01:04:02,306 because she wanted you to walk around... 1218 01:04:02,307 --> 01:04:04,475 - ...and look like an idiot. - Get over it! 1219 01:04:04,476 --> 01:04:04,642 - ....and look like an idiot. - Get over it! 1220 01:04:04,643 --> 01:04:07,019 I'm not the one who had an affair with... 1221 01:04:07,020 --> 01:04:09,146 some low rent palm reader from Akron! 1222 01:04:09,147 --> 01:04:11,190 And you never would've known if you weren't a psychic! 1223 01:04:11,191 --> 01:04:13,659 But I am psychic, Ned! 1224 01:04:14,653 --> 01:04:15,986 What is that for? 1225 01:04:15,987 --> 01:04:18,072 What you're thinking about doing to Megan in two seconds: 1226 01:04:18,073 --> 01:04:18,489 What you're thinking about doing to Megan in two seconds: 1227 01:04:18,490 --> 01:04:21,493 One, two, see? 1228 01:04:23,995 --> 01:04:25,996 We came on short notice. 1229 01:04:25,997 --> 01:04:28,165 We may need an extra pair of hands. 1230 01:04:28,166 --> 01:04:32,011 - Anyone you trust to help? - I know a guy. He's Mexican. 1231 01:04:33,630 --> 01:04:36,178 Megan, let's go to your contacts. 1232 01:04:38,969 --> 01:04:40,177 Hey, nice camera. 1233 01:04:40,178 --> 01:04:43,097 I take it your third cousin owns electronics shops. 1234 01:04:43,098 --> 01:04:44,098 Somethin' like that. 1235 01:04:44,099 --> 01:04:45,307 He sells them out of the back of his truck. 1236 01:04:45,308 --> 01:04:45,641 He sells them out of the back of his truck. 1237 01:04:45,642 --> 01:04:47,977 It's a mobile operation. Let me know if you want one. 1238 01:04:47,978 --> 01:04:50,062 Hey, Ned, something weird. 1239 01:04:50,063 --> 01:04:53,315 All these clocks stop at 3:27 when the hauntings happen. 1240 01:04:53,316 --> 01:04:57,787 Normally, it's 3:07. Nope, we're on CP time. 1241 01:04:58,154 --> 01:04:58,529 The demon will manifest itself in many ways. 1242 01:04:58,530 --> 01:05:01,115 The demon will manifest itself in many ways. 1243 01:05:01,116 --> 01:05:03,200 To your son, it's his imaginary friend. 1244 01:05:03,201 --> 01:05:05,536 To your daughter it's the voice inside the box. 1245 01:05:05,537 --> 01:05:08,122 For Malcolm it's that sexy little doll Abigail. 1246 01:05:08,123 --> 01:05:09,665 See? It's a manifestation! 1247 01:05:09,666 --> 01:05:11,667 You think I'd bang a doll for no reason? 1248 01:05:11,668 --> 01:05:12,126 - Malcolm! Shut up. - What we're about to do... 1249 01:05:12,127 --> 01:05:13,669 - Malcolm! Shut up. - What we're about to do... 1250 01:05:13,670 --> 01:05:17,339 is the first step in banishing the demon to the netherworld. 1251 01:05:17,340 --> 01:05:18,507 What is that? 1252 01:05:18,508 --> 01:05:21,343 This helps me communicate with the demon. 1253 01:05:21,344 --> 01:05:24,430 Organic, hydroponically grown OG Kush. 1254 01:05:24,431 --> 01:05:25,723 Very strong. 1255 01:05:25,724 --> 01:05:27,683 Very strong. 1256 01:05:27,684 --> 01:05:30,653 This is some good shit. 1257 01:05:31,730 --> 01:05:35,691 - Pass the man the shit. - We grow it ourselves. 1258 01:05:35,692 --> 01:05:39,278 - High water bill. - That's that shit right there! 1259 01:05:39,279 --> 01:05:39,361 Let me get another hit. I'm goin' to the further. 1260 01:05:39,362 --> 01:05:41,739 Let me get another hit. I'm goin' to the further. 1261 01:05:41,948 --> 01:05:43,415 Tony! 1262 01:05:43,658 --> 01:05:46,581 Tony, where are you? 1263 01:05:48,955 --> 01:05:51,423 Smells like that OG Kush. 1264 01:05:58,632 --> 01:06:00,429 Mom! 1265 01:06:02,636 --> 01:06:04,103 Becky! 1266 01:06:05,972 --> 01:06:06,597 - Cool! - Wyatt, get upstairs! 1267 01:06:06,598 --> 01:06:08,015 - Cool! - Wyatt, get upstairs! 1268 01:06:08,016 --> 01:06:10,769 Fuck you, you bitch! 1269 01:06:11,978 --> 01:06:13,979 Why are you tying my baby to a chair? 1270 01:06:13,980 --> 01:06:15,648 Because the bitch got a demon in her! 1271 01:06:15,649 --> 01:06:16,982 Make it stop! 1272 01:06:16,983 --> 01:06:19,985 This is some scary Cucui shit right here. 1273 01:06:19,986 --> 01:06:20,194 I don't know who Cucui is. 1274 01:06:20,195 --> 01:06:21,445 I don't know who Cucui is. 1275 01:06:21,446 --> 01:06:23,447 A Cucui is a ghetto Mexican bogeyman. 1276 01:06:23,448 --> 01:06:26,492 - Like George Lopez. - I know, huh? 1277 01:06:26,493 --> 01:06:29,244 I agree, it is scary as fuck. 1278 01:06:29,245 --> 01:06:31,789 This spirit is more powerful than I thought. 1279 01:06:31,790 --> 01:06:33,791 We're gonna need to get a priest to perform a real exorcism. 1280 01:06:33,792 --> 01:06:34,959 We're gonna need to get a priest to perform a real exorcism. 1281 01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:38,430 I know a guy! He's a little unconventional. 1282 01:06:39,631 --> 01:06:41,758 I don't know, Malcolm. 1283 01:06:41,967 --> 01:06:43,968 I know, that bitch don't look right. 1284 01:06:43,969 --> 01:06:46,971 Why you gotta call her a bitch? You disrespectin' the little ho. 1285 01:06:46,972 --> 01:06:47,429 Nigga, did you just sell me out? 1286 01:06:47,430 --> 01:06:48,305 Nigga, did you just sell me out? 1287 01:06:48,306 --> 01:06:50,474 There's certain words that trigger white folk. 1288 01:06:50,475 --> 01:06:52,977 I mean, bitch, ho, slut. 1289 01:06:52,978 --> 01:06:53,978 No offense. 1290 01:06:53,979 --> 01:06:56,447 You can't say those words. That's like our ni... 1291 01:06:56,982 --> 01:06:58,315 What the hell are you talking about? 1292 01:06:58,316 --> 01:06:58,983 Fuck him. 1293 01:06:58,984 --> 01:07:03,320 - We would never say that. - Only behind closed doors. 1294 01:07:03,321 --> 01:07:07,241 I mean, I wouldn't say it in a bus or at the Atlanta Airport... 1295 01:07:07,242 --> 01:07:10,369 or in a parking lot of a KFC, but, yeah, I would say it. 1296 01:07:10,370 --> 01:07:12,329 I got your back. 1297 01:07:12,330 --> 01:07:14,415 This is a lovely scarf you're wearing. 1298 01:07:14,416 --> 01:07:16,166 It's a sash, you know what I'm sayin'? 1299 01:07:16,167 --> 01:07:18,544 I'm selling these. This a part of my new clothin' line... 1300 01:07:18,545 --> 01:07:21,505 "Jesus Pieces", and I got like the shoe that the Popee wearin'... 1301 01:07:21,506 --> 01:07:25,342 in leather, suede, in green, brown, and the Pope hats! 1302 01:07:25,343 --> 01:07:28,512 - You know what, that's enough. - Thank you so much. 1303 01:07:28,513 --> 01:07:30,597 That's right. 1304 01:07:30,598 --> 01:07:34,068 Can we help my daughter please? 1305 01:07:34,185 --> 01:07:36,562 Hell, she went really white girl on me. 1306 01:07:36,563 --> 01:07:38,605 "Oh, my God!" I was like, whoa! 1307 01:07:38,606 --> 01:07:41,442 - Speaking of white... - Are you doin' cocaine again? 1308 01:07:41,443 --> 01:07:43,945 Cocaine? No, man, this stuffs molly! 1309 01:07:45,280 --> 01:07:46,280 Can I try? 1310 01:07:46,281 --> 01:07:48,499 It's all good, it's all good. 1311 01:07:49,451 --> 01:07:51,285 I'm gonna take a little pinch for later. 1312 01:07:51,286 --> 01:07:52,953 He's just bringing his drugs? 1313 01:07:52,954 --> 01:07:54,955 - It's molly. - Wrap it up! 1314 01:07:54,956 --> 01:07:56,924 Hey, chill. Calm down, man. 1315 01:08:03,465 --> 01:08:05,466 Y'alls have some crazy ass motherfuckers. 1316 01:08:05,467 --> 01:08:07,468 Y'all thought I was gonna shoot this bitch? 1317 01:08:07,469 --> 01:08:09,636 I'm just gonna pistol whip her until she weakens. 1318 01:08:09,637 --> 01:08:11,638 You're not pistol whipping my daughter! 1319 01:08:11,639 --> 01:08:13,640 I am not pistol whipping my daughter. 1320 01:08:13,641 --> 01:08:15,768 The man's a genius. 1321 01:08:18,063 --> 01:08:21,648 In the name of the Father and the Holy Ghost... 1322 01:08:21,649 --> 01:08:24,109 I need three other white people. 1323 01:08:24,110 --> 01:08:26,528 Peyton Manning! Kristen Stewart. 1324 01:08:26,529 --> 01:08:28,121 Paula Dean! 1325 01:08:29,991 --> 01:08:31,325 Malcolm, where's Doug? 1326 01:08:31,326 --> 01:08:33,535 I can't find his black ass in this dark! 1327 01:08:33,536 --> 01:08:35,412 - Where the hell is he? - Look for eyes! 1328 01:08:35,413 --> 01:08:37,081 Like a forest creature in a cartoon. 1329 01:08:37,082 --> 01:08:38,583 Father Doug! 1330 01:08:38,917 --> 01:08:40,918 He's over here! He's over here! 1331 01:08:40,919 --> 01:08:43,922 Doug, no! Nigga, please don't. 1332 01:08:44,089 --> 01:08:45,923 Father, please don't! 1333 01:08:45,924 --> 01:08:46,715 No, wait! 1334 01:08:46,716 --> 01:08:49,259 It's better if he points the gun at himself and not at us. 1335 01:08:49,260 --> 01:08:51,929 - Just talk to him, Malcolm. - Listen to my voice, okay, Doug? 1336 01:08:51,930 --> 01:08:55,265 This is not what niggas do! We don't do suicide! 1337 01:08:55,266 --> 01:08:57,434 Murder, yes! Suicide? 1338 01:08:57,435 --> 01:08:59,269 That's what they do. 1339 01:08:59,270 --> 01:09:03,115 Yeah, we do that. I've tried at least 20 times. 1340 01:09:03,566 --> 01:09:06,151 Motherfucker got me acting all crazy, actin' the fool! 1341 01:09:06,152 --> 01:09:08,746 You know damn well I wouldn't peel my own cap! 1342 01:09:09,948 --> 01:09:12,282 I can't stop it! I can't stop it! 1343 01:09:12,283 --> 01:09:15,285 There's somethin' in my head that's tellin' me to blow off my head. 1344 01:09:15,286 --> 01:09:17,412 Is it this head? Is it this head? 1345 01:09:17,413 --> 01:09:19,581 No, no, no! Yeah, up there! 1346 01:09:19,582 --> 01:09:23,127 Evenin' break. Who wants a mojito? 1347 01:09:23,128 --> 01:09:25,295 Oh, the black guy still got a gun. 1348 01:09:25,296 --> 01:09:28,382 Oh, God! This demon is a son of a bitch, man! 1349 01:09:28,383 --> 01:09:30,968 Father, why have you abandoned me? 1350 01:09:30,969 --> 01:09:34,429 Is it 'cause I cuss a lot, even during prayer? 1351 01:09:34,430 --> 01:09:36,932 Amen, motherfucker sour dough. 1352 01:09:36,933 --> 01:09:38,100 Is it because... 1353 01:09:38,101 --> 01:09:42,104 I don't get Ryan Seacrest? I don't get him. 1354 01:09:42,105 --> 01:09:43,188 I know what it is... 1355 01:09:43,189 --> 01:09:45,607 'cause I dressed up as a foreclosure sign... 1356 01:09:45,608 --> 01:09:47,943 when people was getting kicked out they house. 1357 01:09:47,944 --> 01:09:49,945 On Halloween I just stood there. 1358 01:09:49,946 --> 01:09:52,281 I know it was wrong, but it was funny to me. 1359 01:09:52,282 --> 01:09:55,284 Out all of the people on the Brady Bunch... 1360 01:09:55,285 --> 01:09:57,286 it was Alice that I wanted to fuck. 1361 01:09:57,287 --> 01:10:01,165 In the station wagon, on top of Mr. Brady architect desk. 1362 01:10:01,166 --> 01:10:03,625 Just used it for protractors and rulers. 1363 01:10:03,626 --> 01:10:07,296 Is because I actually kinda thought that it was okay... 1364 01:10:07,297 --> 01:10:09,131 that Chris Brown hit Rihanna? 1365 01:10:09,132 --> 01:10:12,134 I know that bitch hit him first! She talk too much shit! 1366 01:10:12,135 --> 01:10:14,136 Shit, Island Girl, whatcha doin' to Chris? 1367 01:10:14,137 --> 01:10:16,138 Why you goin' hoodies bitchin' on my Chris? 1368 01:10:16,139 --> 01:10:17,514 Shut the fuck up, bitch! 1369 01:10:17,515 --> 01:10:20,309 - Somebody help me. - Doug! Fight it, Doug! 1370 01:10:20,310 --> 01:10:24,188 No! Nigga, that's a bigass gun! That's gonna hurt, nigga. 1371 01:10:24,189 --> 01:10:27,112 Malcolm, he has a message for you. 1372 01:10:27,984 --> 01:10:31,158 He says... "Huh, bitch?" 1373 01:10:36,701 --> 01:10:38,702 We're gonna need another priest! 1374 01:10:38,703 --> 01:10:41,163 It's too late. I have to perform the exorcism. 1375 01:10:41,164 --> 01:10:42,164 It's true. 1376 01:10:42,165 --> 01:10:44,416 Although Ned's only formal training was a "Ghostbusters"... 1377 01:10:44,417 --> 01:10:46,210 summer camp back in 1988. 1378 01:10:46,211 --> 01:10:48,337 Never cross a stream. Never cross them. 1379 01:10:48,338 --> 01:10:51,340 And he is dumb! I mean, dumb, dumb, dumb! 1380 01:10:51,341 --> 01:10:53,675 The point is, you can do this! 1381 01:10:53,676 --> 01:10:56,053 Do you remember what you said to me on our wedding night? 1382 01:10:56,054 --> 01:10:58,513 "I have whiskey dick and I'll make it up to you in the morning." 1383 01:10:58,514 --> 01:11:01,725 No! You said God brought us together for a reason. 1384 01:11:01,726 --> 01:11:03,560 Doesn't sound like me. 1385 01:11:03,561 --> 01:11:07,611 - Must've been really drunk. - Just fucking do it, dummy! 1386 01:11:19,535 --> 01:11:21,370 - Becky! - Did it work? 1387 01:11:21,371 --> 01:11:25,592 - I'm sorry for everything! - I think you did it! 1388 01:11:34,300 --> 01:11:37,469 - Oh, fuck that! - Oh, my God! 1389 01:11:37,470 --> 01:11:40,769 Time to die! 1390 01:11:42,141 --> 01:11:44,476 - It was him! It was him! - Don't be like that! 1391 01:11:44,477 --> 01:11:46,149 It actually was him. 1392 01:11:46,646 --> 01:11:50,150 - Got him in the knee. - That looked like it hurt, jeez. 1393 01:11:55,113 --> 01:11:58,115 - That's what you call a blowjob. - A leaf blower? 1394 01:11:58,116 --> 01:11:59,658 - Don't judge me. - Malcolm! 1395 01:11:59,659 --> 01:12:03,754 Demon, you leave our daughter alone! 1396 01:12:04,706 --> 01:12:06,999 That's not your daughter anymore! 1397 01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:09,167 I didn't mean like a daughter daughter... 1398 01:12:09,168 --> 01:12:11,170 Seriously? Malcolm, help her! 1399 01:12:11,337 --> 01:12:14,590 - Okay. Goddamnit! - Go get 'em, buddy. 1400 01:12:15,383 --> 01:12:18,468 - Wyatt, are you okay? - Yeah, but Becky... 1401 01:12:18,469 --> 01:12:21,142 she looks pretty fucked up. 1402 01:12:22,223 --> 01:12:24,266 Demon, I'll make you a deal. 1403 01:12:24,267 --> 01:12:26,184 How about, you leave, and we'll pretend... 1404 01:12:26,185 --> 01:12:28,520 - ...none of this ever happened. - The bitch is mine! 1405 01:12:28,521 --> 01:12:30,731 You heard the man, the bitch is his. I tried. 1406 01:12:30,732 --> 01:12:31,732 Seriously? 1407 01:12:31,733 --> 01:12:33,984 She said the bitch is his. That's pretty emphatic. 1408 01:12:33,985 --> 01:12:37,113 Malcolm, please help me. I'm so sorry. 1409 01:12:37,989 --> 01:12:41,658 Becky will rot in hell! 1410 01:12:41,659 --> 01:12:42,993 Okay, which one is it? 1411 01:12:42,994 --> 01:12:44,995 Rot in hell or you want me to help you? 1412 01:12:44,996 --> 01:12:47,794 - Malcolm, help her! - The bitch is confusing me! 1413 01:12:47,999 --> 01:12:50,000 Demon, you leave her alone! 1414 01:12:50,001 --> 01:12:52,336 You take me instead! 1415 01:12:52,337 --> 01:12:53,670 Deal. 1416 01:12:53,671 --> 01:12:56,640 Wait, no, no, no. Here, take him instead! 1417 01:13:01,012 --> 01:13:03,013 I haven't heard a demon scream for a while. 1418 01:13:03,014 --> 01:13:04,514 I think it's safe to go back up there. 1419 01:13:04,515 --> 01:13:07,351 - I still have a bad feeling. - For God's sake, come on, guys! 1420 01:13:07,352 --> 01:13:09,695 - Come on! - All right. 1421 01:13:11,189 --> 01:13:15,150 Oh, my God! Wyatt, get upstairs right now! 1422 01:13:15,151 --> 01:13:17,361 They're cuddling! The demon's gone! 1423 01:13:17,362 --> 01:13:20,197 I did it! This house is clean! 1424 01:13:20,198 --> 01:13:21,531 Look at his eyes! 1425 01:13:21,532 --> 01:13:23,700 They're rolling to the back of his head! 1426 01:13:23,701 --> 01:13:25,202 I think he's possessed. 1427 01:13:25,203 --> 01:13:27,204 That's the face he makes when he has an orgasm. 1428 01:13:27,205 --> 01:13:30,123 - I think he's okay, you guys. - This is not over. 1429 01:13:30,124 --> 01:13:33,627 - Are you guys watching this? - Yes, we're watching it, dummy! 1430 01:13:33,628 --> 01:13:36,171 I'm so intrigued by this. 1431 01:13:36,172 --> 01:13:40,258 Oh, man! He's all twisted up like a chocolate pretzel! 1432 01:13:40,259 --> 01:13:45,305 Such flexibility and dexterity! This is making me queasy! 1433 01:13:45,306 --> 01:13:49,226 - He could suck his own dick. - Somebody please help me! 1434 01:13:49,227 --> 01:13:50,394 If I could do that... 1435 01:13:50,395 --> 01:13:52,687 I don't think I'd ever talk to you again. 1436 01:13:52,688 --> 01:13:55,111 Stop it, you unholy demon! 1437 01:13:56,150 --> 01:13:58,869 - That is greasy shit! - Probably Murray's. 1438 01:13:59,570 --> 01:14:02,038 The power of Christ compels you! 1439 01:14:02,657 --> 01:14:05,325 It burn like bum piss! That means it's working! 1440 01:14:05,326 --> 01:14:07,661 Pour the whole thing, like I just won the Super Bowl! 1441 01:14:07,662 --> 01:14:09,789 - Go! - Are you crazy? 1442 01:14:13,334 --> 01:14:16,132 Is that all you got, bitch? 1443 01:14:31,769 --> 01:14:34,187 Wait, guys! Stop! Everybody stop! 1444 01:14:34,188 --> 01:14:38,108 - Malcolm, are you okay? - No, I think I'm gonna be sick. 1445 01:14:38,109 --> 01:14:39,405 What? 1446 01:14:39,569 --> 01:14:41,611 Oh, God. Oh, God. 1447 01:14:41,612 --> 01:14:44,114 Oh, my God, I can't... 1448 01:14:47,952 --> 01:14:51,955 - Puking like a runway model. - I'm good. I'm good. 1449 01:14:51,956 --> 01:14:54,458 You're gonna want to Febreeze all of this. 1450 01:14:54,459 --> 01:14:56,460 You're gonna wanna just clean this. 1451 01:14:56,461 --> 01:14:59,089 I feel so much better now. 1452 01:15:03,968 --> 01:15:06,812 Can't be too sure. Oh, shit. 1453 01:15:07,138 --> 01:15:09,055 I gotta get the hell outta here. 1454 01:15:09,056 --> 01:15:10,682 Once they see a black guy in a pool of blood... 1455 01:15:10,683 --> 01:15:12,642 you know who they're gonna come after next.. 1456 01:15:12,643 --> 01:15:14,440 I gotta go. 1457 01:15:14,645 --> 01:15:18,648 - Now this place is clean. - It sounded better when I said it. 1458 01:15:18,649 --> 01:15:20,275 Get the box. 1459 01:15:20,276 --> 01:15:23,028 - Thank you, guys, so much. - No need to thank us. 1460 01:15:23,029 --> 01:15:24,696 We're happy to help. Come on, Ned. 1461 01:15:24,697 --> 01:15:26,740 And we'll just take Abigail with us... 1462 01:15:26,741 --> 01:15:28,325 as well, for safekeeping. 1463 01:15:28,326 --> 01:15:30,327 Yeah, I know what you plannin' on doing with that doll. 1464 01:15:30,328 --> 01:15:32,662 - No, I'm a professional. - She's a freak bitch. 1465 01:15:32,663 --> 01:15:33,330 Stop it. 1466 01:15:33,331 --> 01:15:36,041 How come Noreen ain't pickin' up on the vibes? 1467 01:15:36,042 --> 01:15:38,126 You know how when you try to last longer... 1468 01:15:38,127 --> 01:15:39,586 you think about baseball? 1469 01:15:39,587 --> 01:15:41,713 It's kind of like that. Throws a haze in their head. 1470 01:15:41,714 --> 01:15:44,466 It's the only way to survive when you're married to a psychic. 1471 01:15:44,467 --> 01:15:45,342 Come on, Ned. 1472 01:15:45,343 --> 01:15:48,471 I know you're thinking about fucking that doll. 1473 01:15:54,519 --> 01:15:56,771 - You're had enough. - Bye, doll. 1474 01:16:00,983 --> 01:16:04,986 It's so nice being able to just relax on the couch... 1475 01:16:04,987 --> 01:16:07,455 and watch "The Bachelorettes". 1476 01:16:11,619 --> 01:16:14,621 - You didn't hear that? - What? 1477 01:16:14,622 --> 01:16:17,207 My nigga senses is tinglin'. 1478 01:16:17,208 --> 01:16:19,000 It's like my Spidey senses. 1479 01:16:19,001 --> 01:16:22,170 Would you hush? It is fine! 1480 01:16:22,171 --> 01:16:24,969 My white senses say we're fine. 1481 01:16:25,174 --> 01:16:27,676 Everything's okay. It's over. 1482 01:16:27,677 --> 01:16:31,807 - Okay? It's over. - Okay, okay. I'm trippin'. 1483 01:16:33,933 --> 01:16:36,401 Listen to that, whiteness! 1484 01:16:43,943 --> 01:16:46,278 You already know how it's going down, motherfuckers... 1485 01:16:46,279 --> 01:16:47,070 all right? 1486 01:16:47,071 --> 01:16:49,072 I looked in my Dora the Explorer app... 1487 01:16:49,073 --> 01:16:51,074 this the motherfuckin' correct address. 1488 01:16:51,075 --> 01:16:54,077 This ain't a drive-by, homie, okay? This a walk-in, homie. 1489 01:16:54,078 --> 01:16:56,413 So ain't no escapin'! My cousin is in here, Cuz! 1490 01:16:56,414 --> 01:16:57,915 Y'all ready? 1491 01:16:59,125 --> 01:17:01,042 Hey, yo, Malcolm! 1492 01:17:01,043 --> 01:17:03,762 Whassup my niggie? I'm here, Cuz! 1493 01:17:05,506 --> 01:17:08,300 What the fuck are you doin', man? I gotta... 1494 01:17:08,301 --> 01:17:10,599 This is bullshit! Oh, my God! 1495 01:17:11,137 --> 01:17:13,435 I'm scared as fuck! 1496 01:17:16,642 --> 01:17:17,767 I'm good, dog. 1497 01:17:17,768 --> 01:17:20,771 Let me get my motherfuckin' bearings together, homie. 1498 01:17:22,607 --> 01:17:25,108 All right, let's go up in there, Cuz. 1499 01:17:25,109 --> 01:17:26,651 It smell like dead ass... 1500 01:17:26,652 --> 01:17:29,154 Baloney and sweat socks up in there, homie. 1501 01:17:29,155 --> 01:17:31,656 It smell like Honey Boo Boo's boo-boo, homie! 1502 01:17:31,657 --> 01:17:33,283 Malcolm? 1503 01:17:33,284 --> 01:17:35,582 Where you at, Cuz? 1504 01:17:39,123 --> 01:17:41,124 Ain't nobody in here, Cuz. 1505 01:17:41,125 --> 01:17:44,127 Oh, shit! Megan got fucked up! 1506 01:17:44,128 --> 01:17:47,047 Head twisted all backwards, niggie. 1507 01:17:47,048 --> 01:17:49,966 Now, upon further examination, my niggie... 1508 01:17:49,967 --> 01:17:52,135 this white bitch smell like she been dead... 1509 01:17:52,136 --> 01:17:53,428 about a week, maybe two. 1510 01:17:53,429 --> 01:17:55,430 I watch "Dexter", niggie, "CSI New York"... 1511 01:17:55,431 --> 01:17:56,973 "Love 'N Hip-Hop Atlanta". 1512 01:17:56,974 --> 01:17:59,309 Don't nobody get killed on there, but they need to, my nigga. 1513 01:17:59,310 --> 01:18:01,144 Stevie J, you know what I'm sayin'? 1514 01:18:01,145 --> 01:18:03,613 This bitch smell like poverty, Cuz! 1515 01:18:04,148 --> 01:18:06,691 Tae kwon do! Oh, shit! 1516 01:18:06,692 --> 01:18:09,786 They done killed the little mini white bitch, too, Cuz! 1517 01:18:10,988 --> 01:18:14,867 Fuck happened down here, Cuz? 1518 01:18:15,660 --> 01:18:17,161 Hello? 1519 01:18:18,663 --> 01:18:19,704 Hello? 1520 01:18:19,705 --> 01:18:22,666 Oh, shit! There's another dead body, Cuz. 1521 01:18:22,667 --> 01:18:26,586 Who the fuck is it, though? Who the fuck is it? 1522 01:18:26,587 --> 01:18:29,089 Oh, God, it's Malcolm! 1523 01:18:29,090 --> 01:18:32,008 They done kill my Cuz, Cuz! 1524 01:18:32,009 --> 01:18:34,928 It's like Boyz 'N the Hood, he's supposed to go to college! 1525 01:18:34,929 --> 01:18:37,681 Why the fuck they let Dough Boy live and Ricky dead? 1526 01:18:37,682 --> 01:18:40,731 Dough Boy was the evil nigga, Cuz! 1527 01:18:41,102 --> 01:18:43,311 I can't believe it! 1528 01:18:43,312 --> 01:18:46,065 See if the nigga got some money, though. 1529 01:18:51,946 --> 01:18:54,072 What you hit me for, Cuz? 1530 01:18:54,073 --> 01:18:56,616 You know better than to be poppin' up on me like that, Cuz! 1531 01:18:56,617 --> 01:18:59,285 You get knocked out every motherfuckin' time, homie. 1532 01:18:59,286 --> 01:19:02,084 World star! World star! 1533 01:19:02,289 --> 01:19:03,707 You hit me with a brick! 1534 01:19:03,708 --> 01:19:05,709 Where's my family? Are they okay? 1535 01:19:05,710 --> 01:19:07,293 Nigga, they dead as butt! 1536 01:19:07,294 --> 01:19:08,962 All of them? Even the little boy? 1537 01:19:08,963 --> 01:19:11,214 He's on the back of a motherfuckin' milk carton, niggie! 1538 01:19:11,215 --> 01:19:13,012 Good. He may have lived. 1539 01:19:13,300 --> 01:19:14,718 Where's Kisha? 1540 01:19:14,719 --> 01:19:17,768 Nigga, I don't know where the fuck Kisha is at, Cuz! 1541 01:19:18,305 --> 01:19:20,557 - She did this shit! - Kisha did this shit? 1542 01:19:20,558 --> 01:19:22,475 The white girl's neck, snapped it back. 1543 01:19:22,476 --> 01:19:25,228 - Kisha did that shit? - That bitch is gangsta, Cuz! 1544 01:19:25,229 --> 01:19:27,313 I need to jump on her and mount her, Cuz! 1545 01:19:27,314 --> 01:19:29,482 I came down to the basement on some creep shit... 1546 01:19:29,483 --> 01:19:31,401 I was just sittin' here waitin' for this bitch like: 1547 01:19:31,402 --> 01:19:33,570 "Nigga, what?" "Bitch, you want some of this? 1548 01:19:33,571 --> 01:19:35,613 "So I'm gonna stay here incog-negro... 1549 01:19:35,614 --> 01:19:37,574 up under this blanket like nigga, like what. 1550 01:19:37,575 --> 01:19:39,576 Let my sneakers be all, so she be like... 1551 01:19:39,577 --> 01:19:41,035 "That nigga be dead." 1552 01:19:41,036 --> 01:19:43,663 Then all like, "Bitch, you want some of this?" 1553 01:19:43,664 --> 01:19:46,207 You can't kill me! I'm like a roach! 1554 01:19:46,208 --> 01:19:48,084 I don't die, I multiply! 1555 01:19:48,085 --> 01:19:51,805 I got God on my side, bitch! 1556 01:19:53,090 --> 01:19:56,050 Twinkle, twinkle little star... 1557 01:19:56,051 --> 01:19:58,386 She's right behind me, isn't she? 1558 01:19:58,387 --> 01:20:01,561 How I wonder...