1
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:14,320
The Mayans, the most developed
civilization in Central America,...
2
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,520
...who invented the solar calendar,
the water channels,...
3
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:24,160
...the folded piece of paper put under
wobbly tables and the velcro diapers,...
4
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,240
...had to leave their land
because of draught and terror.
5
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,440
They set sail and
passed the Strait of Gibraltar.
6
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,840
They picked up two awards in Cannes
and they reached The Byzantine.
7
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:40,120
They settled in an empty lot
near Bagcilar,...
8
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:43,080
...and they blended in
with neighboring Turkish tribes.
9
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,840
After a while,
they adopted the Turkish traditions.
10
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,880
This made The Byzantines
even madder.
11
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:55,560
Living next to a
perfect civilization...
12
00:00:55,680 --> 00:01:00,360
...was too much for The Byzantines,
whose national sport is envy.
13
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:06,040
They set their evil plans in motion
to destroy the Mayan civilization.
14
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:12,120
Welcome to the 69th Byzantine Games!
15
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,720
-Brother...
-Yes, Donutella.
16
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,800
Today, they will make you fight someone
called Lion Heart Richard.
17
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:09,280
I see. They couldn't beat me
for the past 30 years,...
18
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,120
...so they hired a foreign player.
19
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:15,560
It doesn't matter.
I've seen many lionhearts.
20
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,320
Watch your ass anyway.
21
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,400
Okay, don't worry.
You can leave now.
22
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,600
Don't leave our parents alone
in the box.
23
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,520
One can never tell what those
damn Byzantines are up to.
24
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,240
Dude, I told you to put oil on me,
not to perform a colonoscopy.
25
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,360
Okay.
26
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,760
Dear sports fans, I give you...
27
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:52,600
...the Byzantine King Clitor III
and his wife Clitoria V!
28
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,760
And Princess Draftia!
29
00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:01,920
Now, it's time to welcome our guests.
-Ghazi! Ghazi!
30
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:07,400
Tribe leader Ghazi Magosa, his wife
Lady Gamma and their daughter Donutella.
31
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,160
Ghazi Magosa, do you need anything?
32
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,560
We The Byzantines
are not as hospitable as you are.
33
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,080
Please excuse us.
34
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,680
Thank you, King Clitor.
We're fine, don't worry.
35
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,520
Then let the final match begin!
36
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:39,840
In the red corner: Renowned wrestler,
prominent in three continents,...
37
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,200
...heir to the Mayan throne,
Hitandrunis.
38
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,480
Bless your mustache!
39
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,080
Olivia, is this the mighty warrior
called Hitandrunis?
40
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,520
Yes, my dear princess.
41
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,680
They say this warrior never falls flat.
He can never be defeated.
42
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,200
And he never spits on the ground.
43
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,960
By the way, it's rumored
he's very good in bed.
44
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,880
Even when he comes back exhausted
from a battle...
45
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,840
TMI, Olivia.
46
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,640
Bless your mustache!
47
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:35,320
Bugger off, Byzantines
Bugger off.
48
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,080
Like a herd of bloody swine
That refuse to leave the trough
49
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:46,480
You won't win this evening
So, you bastards bugger off.
50
00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:02,280
Like a herd of bloody swine
That refuse to leave the trough
51
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:07,680
You won't win this evening
So you bastards bugger off.
52
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,640
My dear older brother and my king.
53
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,040
The Mayans have brought flares
to the arena again!
54
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,200
Passionius! You gave us bad seats
since we're the visiting team.
55
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,680
You should get over it.
56
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:21,480
And they put a net over the bleachers.
As if there's a lion in the arena.
57
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,320
We'll see about the lion.
58
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,800
And in the blue corner:
59
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,960
Wrestling for The Byzantine
for the first time,...
60
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,440
...Lion Heart Richard.
61
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,400
This Lion Heart Richard
must have sneaked off...
62
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,240
...once he realized
he was going to lose.
63
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:41,800
Don't worry, Lady Donutella.
We'll see who's going to sneak off.
64
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,160
What?
65
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,280
What the hell?
66
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,360
What's going on, King Clitor?
67
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:14,040
Isn't my son in the arena
for oil wrestling? That's a real lion.
68
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,600
That's alright.
We oiled the lion.
69
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,520
We were told he was going to fight
Lion Heart Richard.
70
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,720
That's true.
The lion's name is Heart Richard.
71
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,240
Traitors.
72
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:26,800
And now, the battle begins.
73
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,800
Lion Heart Richard is checking out
his opponent, just like a lion.
74
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,440
Brother!
75
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:55,480
You may be the king of the forest,
but I'm the king of the world!
76
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,840
In the name of God!
77
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:25,320
Your lion is also a coward,
just like you! Well done, Byzantine!
78
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,320
Hitandrunis does another cartwheel.
79
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:43,600
-Hitandrunis, catch this!
-What the hell is this, Inventaur?
80
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,280
My new invention.
It's a stick with a light.
81
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,040
-What?
-Point it towards the ground.
82
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,480
Press its button.
83
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,960
Brother, catch this!
84
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,960
Passionius, what's going on?
85
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,680
You said he was Lion Heart Richard,
but this is just a cat.
86
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,800
Dear majesty. This animal devoured
four guards on the way here.
87
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,920
So, he's full, and he wants to play.
88
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:54,600
Passionius, what's going on?
What is this light?
89
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,240
Run, run!
90
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:09,760
THE BYZANTINE GAMES
91
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,480
-Cut it off! Enough!
-Why, darling?
92
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,320
What a lousy emperor you are!
93
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,880
Your queen was attacked
on your own land.
94
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,760
And you are cheering!
95
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,280
What can I do, my queen?
96
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,280
My hands can't help but
applaud the Mayans. Look.
97
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,480
Look.
-Okay!
98
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,400
Enough with your
Oriental obsessions, Clitor.
99
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:43,320
How can one not admire them?
They are perfect in every way.
100
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,600
In music, in sports,
in economics, in CrossFit...
101
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:48,480
For better, for worse,
in sickness and in health...
102
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,680
I love their jokes.
I love their humour.
103
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,280
I just love them.
They're a very advanced civilization.
104
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,200
I can't help but applaud them.
Such an advanced civilization.
105
00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:02,720
To hell with an emperor like you!
You're like a Mayan among us.
106
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:08,440
To hell with a brother like you.
A Byzantine shouldn't be like that.
107
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:15,360
Passionius. You need to
ascend to the throne, Passionius.
108
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,280
We must defeat those Mayans.
-When I ascend to the throne...
109
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,680
...you're going to be the queen.
That's what you're after, right?
110
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,520
I'm already the queen, idiot.
111
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:29,120
His son Prince Adonis is also our rival.
Don't forget that.
112
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:45,320
Let's get rid of these bandages first.
We can take care of that as well.
113
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:54,920
Adonis?
114
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,600
-Yes, Eftelya?
-Hi.
115
00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:01,800
I was wondering if you could help me
practice for the martial arts exam.
116
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:06,080
I'd love to,
but I'm not good at martial arts.
117
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,480
But you are the best student
at this school.
118
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,880
You must be very good
at martial arts.
119
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:14,720
I'm a man of peace.
Fighting is not my thing.
120
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:19,400
Adonis!
121
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,080
I get good grades, but...
122
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:30,720
...I know nothing about fighting.
I don't like it.
123
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,640
I want brotherhood,
friendship, love...
124
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,640
Son of a bitch.
125
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,240
Brotherhood, friendship...
What was I saying?
126
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:46,000
I don't know how to fight.
Find someone else to practice with.
127
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,120
Your highness.
128
00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:01,280
The BIA Director Informatus is back
from his mission to spy on the Mayans.
129
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,640
-Send him in.
-As you wish.
130
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,080
Clitoria, does Informatus
visit you in your chambers often?
131
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,560
Save your jealousy for your brother.
132
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,080
All in all, Informatus is the director
of the Byzantine Intelligence Agency.
133
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,120
Last month, I sent him on a mission
to spy on the Mayan civilization.
134
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,640
-Your highness.
-Informatus.
135
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,360
-Commander in chief.
-Informatus.
136
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,960
-Guard.
-Your highness.
137
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,760
-Guard.
-Commander in chief.
138
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,560
-Guard.
-Dear director.
139
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,480
Guard!
We are not saluting you! Get out!
140
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:35,600
My apologies, ma'am.
141
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,760
Informatus,
how was the assignment?
142
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,600
Dear majesty,
I'm sorry to tell you that...
143
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,000
...the Mayans are a civilization
well beyond their time.
144
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,320
Especially the men.
They bring flowers home every night.
145
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:51,360
We grow flowers just to trample them.
Do they take them to their wives?
146
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,960
-Yes. Exactly.
-You're wrong, Informatus.
147
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,440
There's no way
those nomads are civilized.
148
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,640
No. They really are.
149
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,720
They don't even poop under the trees
or by the city walls, like we do.
150
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,720
They have dug tunnels.
-Tunnels?
151
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,080
-Why did they? What is this bullshit?
-Exactly. It's shit.
152
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,400
They call it "sewage".
-Enough of this shit talk.
153
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,720
How do they heat and light their homes?
Tell me.
154
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,320
They use solar energy.
155
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,840
And they are good at agriculture.
Especially with tea.
156
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:24,280
-Douchebag! Cut the crap!
-Yes, bag. Tea bag.
157
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:31,880
We've picked enough earl grey.
Let's pick some blackberry tea.
158
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,640
They have actually made bags of tea.
159
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,240
-What do they eat and drink?
-Their diet is completely organic.
160
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,000
-Smoking?
-Only when they drink.
161
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,440
-Alcohol?
-Only when they smoke.
162
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,040
-Women?
-Only their wives.
163
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,960
-Lying?
-Only white lies.
164
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,440
-What about their sexual performance?
-They are perfect.
165
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,160
They hump all night long.
166
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,560
You were great as always, darling.
167
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,720
If you're not going to sleep,
can we do it again?
168
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,920
Sleep?
Honey, I'm not a Byzantine man.
169
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,680
I won't turn on my back and sleep
after three rounds.
170
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,000
Wait a second. I'm ready.
171
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,080
Everyone has at least three kids.
172
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,680
See, Passionius?
That is a real man.
173
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,520
Is this all you care about?
174
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:30,160
Anyway.
We need to continue our observations.
175
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,080
Come on!
176
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:50,560
It's tasty as a peach.
177
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:58,760
Are you a loser?
Are you a Byzantine?
178
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,880
-Dear majesty, are you comfortable?
-Shame on you, Informatus.
179
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:08,520
Is this proper disguise?
I've never seen a purple cow.
180
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:14,280
Mayan cows are generally purple.
They provide both milk and chocolate.
181
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,920
That's why.
182
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,000
Look at us.
Our cows are too lazy to ruminate.
183
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,080
And Mayan cows almost make
chocolate strawberry fondues.
184
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,160
Attention please!
185
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:29,560
Young men who are going to arm wrestle
with Lady Donutella! Get in line!
186
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:33,440
Whoever manages to defeat
Lady Donutella,...
187
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,280
...Lady Donutella will give him...
188
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,840
...her heart.
189
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,200
That's the reason for the fair.
190
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,840
Ghazi Magosa is trying to
set his daughter up with someone.
191
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,080
Come on.
192
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:56,040
Shall we go and check? But I think
we'd better "moo" to blend in.
193
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:02,480
Oh, sure. Find a bull to mate with too.
You're at the back, after all.
194
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,080
I wonder if anyone
will be able to beat our mad girl.
195
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,440
I hope so. Otherwise,
she won't be able to get married.
196
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,680
Arm wrestling to choose a husband!
-Well...
197
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:40,160
Wow. I guess my fate is
to be the wife of this man.
198
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:44,680
Anyways.
He doesn't seem so bad.
199
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,400
Sweetheart.
That last guy was tough. Marry him.
200
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:13,320
No, mom. I won't give my heart
to a man who cannot beat me.
201
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:14,760
For God's sake.
202
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,560
Read all about it!
203
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,760
Read about the latest
Byzantine tricks!
204
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,800
I prepared a rock solid newspaper,
but no one is buying it.
205
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,200
Get out of my way.
206
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,960
If the Mayans are a superior society,...
207
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,280
...that's because of the support
of the Mayan women.
208
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:41,280
I want those Mayan women gone,
Passionius. Take care of it.
209
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,560
Get out of my way.
210
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:50,720
I have a plan, but first,
we need to get rid of your brother.
211
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,240
Who's there?
212
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,960
Show your face!
Or else, you won't have a face to show!
213
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,160
Wait, son. Easy.
It's me.
214
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,400
What's up, father?
Why are you here at this hour?
215
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:18,040
I went to Mayanbucks
to see what the young ones are doing.
216
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:21,760
I couldn't see you, son. I got curious.
-I've had enough of that place.
217
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,520
All the same teenager subjects.
Love and stuff.
218
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,320
I came here.
It's better out here.
219
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,120
Don't you ever think about sleeping?
220
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,400
I'm not a child. Why are you trying to
put me to sleep at this hour?
221
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,720
It's too early.
-Not that kind of sleep, bastard.
222
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,040
Girls are crazy for you.
223
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:48,760
Are you thinking about sleeping
with someone before we go extinct?
224
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,160
-Father, you know my stand on this.
-Screw your stand!
225
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,880
I'm having enough trouble
with your stubborn sister anyway.
226
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,360
At least you should get married,
so that our name lives on.
227
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:03,400
Please don't force me.
That's not how it works.
228
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,600
"Please don't force me.
That's not how it works."
229
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,440
What are you doing?
230
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:12,120
You're the great tribe leader.
Look at that mouth of yours.
231
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,680
-You still couldn't forget her, right?
-Who?
232
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:29,160
Nergis? I don't know anyone by
that name. I forgot Nergis' name.
233
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:33,960
It's over! Do you understand? It's over!
Nergis? It's over!
234
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,080
Don't make me break my promise!
235
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,480
Easy.
236
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,440
I'm okay. It's okay.
237
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:56,920
I'm sorry, father,
but Nergis is dead to me now.
238
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:02,480
Dead. Nergis is dead to me.
"Es gibt keine Nergis."
239
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,200
"Keine" my ass.
240
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:09,960
Jackass.
241
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,360
"Nergis is dead to me."
Then what is this?
242
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,720
Here is our plan:
I'm going to keep him busy.
243
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:26,880
And you're going to stab him
right in his back!
244
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,920
-Okay, sister-in-law.
-Sister-in-law?
245
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,360
Watch your mouth!
246
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,120
Hide.
He's coming.
247
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,560
"Sister-in-law", he says!
248
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:47,360
Darling.
The moon is so beautiful, right?
249
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:51,760
Let me see. Crescent.
And there's a little star next to it.
250
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:56,960
This would make such a good flag.
Let me pitch that to the Mayans.
251
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:02,600
I've had back pain back all day.
Look, it hurts when I look up like this.
252
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,720
Here it is again! The pain!
It's like a blade!
253
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,680
-Dear majesty, that's a real blade.
-Really?
254
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,600
I wish I had asked for
something else from Zeus.
255
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,040
-Like what?
-I don't know.
256
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,880
-Get well soon.
-Thank you.
257
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,920
This gas will cure your pain,
dear brother.
258
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,320
-Why is this liquid special?
-It's combustible, your highness.
259
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,400
-What about efficiency?
-7 liters in 100 kilometers.
260
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,360
-That's too much.
-Enough! Damn thing!
261
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,120
I've never seen anything like this.
262
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,920
Look how nice he is.
He just doesn't die.
263
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,400
-Be careful. Don't burn your hand.
-Why don't you die?
264
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:42,800
Let me light you on fire.
Take that! See?
265
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,920
Screw your niceness!
My love, throw him down.
266
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,080
Et tu, Passionius?
267
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,600
Your majesty,
unfortunately, it's a heart attack.
268
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:22,000
What have I done to deserve this pain?
What have I done, brother-in-law?
269
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,480
There's no point
in beating ourselves up.
270
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,880
It's Zeus' will.
-Sure.
271
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:33,120
The ceremony for the deceased
will be held...
272
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,560
...at the Tesvikiye Square
tomorrow after lunch.
273
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,400
May God bless his soul.
274
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,040
Take me, brother-in-law.
275
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:46,360
Get your hand off of me.
276
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,480
Here, sir. Your receipt.
The first 15 minutes is free.
277
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:08,440
You have visitors, sir.
278
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:16,440
Excuse me, but you have a message
from our queen Clitoria.
279
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,680
-What's that next to you?
-He's an SMS.
280
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,160
King Clitor is dead.
We are going to hold a ceremony.
281
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:30,840
Oh, really? I'm so sorry.
I loved King Clitor so much.
282
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,640
Messenger!
Give our condolences to your queen.
283
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,880
All Mayan men will be
at the Tesvikiye Square tomorrow.
284
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,400
I have a bad feeling, Bagelina.
285
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,240
I feel like someone is going to
ambush us.
286
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,680
Let's bathe first.
We'll feel better then.
287
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:06,760
You're right.
288
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,040
Did you hear that, Sergeantus?
They're going to bathe.
289
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,640
-What's a bath?
-That thing we had when we were born.
290
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:21,160
Naked and wet.
-I remember.
291
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:22,960
-Duck.
-Okay.
292
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,480
Is it working?
293
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:43,760
Cool! We can bathe!
294
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:52,960
-Dirtius.
-Yes?
295
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,200
-Do you hear that?
-Hear what?
296
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,040
Listen carefully.
297
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,200
Look, it sounds like
someone's asking for help.
298
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,800
Do you see, Fortis?
A sight for sore eyes.
299
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,960
-I'm so excited right now.
-I can tell.
300
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,680
They are going to be mine.
301
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:26,200
I'm going to jump on their backs.
I'm going to whip them.
302
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,080
They're going to see us!
Hide.
303
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,320
-Donutella.
-What is it, Bagelina?
304
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,000
I think someone is watching us.
305
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,080
We're busted!
306
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,480
Go ahead, girls. Bathe.
We're not looking.
307
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,360
Do it.
308
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,320
Get out of here! Right now!
309
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,200
Tie your hair. It's hard to understand
what you are saying.
310
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:56,160
Haven't you ever seen a woman...
311
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,040
...singing under the waterfall,
doing sexy dance moves...
312
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,560
...while caressing herself
in a provocative manner?
313
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,240
Why are you turning them on?
314
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,840
Look!
Get the hell out of here now!
315
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:15,880
Or I'll punch so many holes in you
that you'll turn into shower heads!
316
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:20,720
First, you'll need to go over there
butt naked and get dressed.
317
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:24,000
Take it.
318
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,400
Come on.
Okay, we're not looking.
319
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:53,760
Boobies...
320
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,560
Okay. Turn around now.
We're going to get dressed.
321
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,720
-Come here, we'll get you dressed.
-Yes.
322
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,760
Don't be scared. We're from the
Make Love Not War Battalion.
323
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,080
We're trained!
324
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,960
I've never heard of such a battalion
in The Byzantine.
325
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:38,680
-Prince Adonis is here.
-Damn it.
326
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,200
Shame on you!
327
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:50,320
You're peeping on
two Mayan women bathing quietly.
328
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,920
Normally, it's not shameful,
but when you put it like that,...
329
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,800
...I'm having second thoughts.
-Why are you still here?
330
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,000
-We only saw a pair of boobs.
-Go away!
331
00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,520
Here are your clothes.
332
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,320
I apologize on behalf of my soldiers.
333
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,680
If there were no
extenuating circumstances,...
334
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,160
...I'd have them executed
the minute they return to the palace.
335
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,400
Extenuating circumstances?
336
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,000
Of course.
337
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,360
When confronted
with such pure beauty,...
338
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,960
...only a blind man or half a man
would turn away.
339
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:28,320
Such insolence!
340
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:38,960
I'd welcome death at the hands
of such a beautiful woman.
341
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:43,040
But on the other hand,
when I have just met you,...
342
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,200
...dying would be
the biggest sin, right?
343
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,360
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a funeral to go to.
344
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,520
Donutella, he defeated you.
He defeated you.
345
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,400
Okay. Cut it short.
I was blindsided.
346
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:31,200
Yes. The men are gone.
It's our turn now.
347
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,760
Show yourselves,
brave Byzantine soldiers!
348
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,560
May Mercury bless you!
349
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,840
Take all the women.
350
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,840
If anyone resists,
spray mango gas in their eyes!
351
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,320
Come at me!
Come and get me if you can!
352
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,920
I'll rip you apart!
353
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,520
Round up everyone with boobs!
354
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,640
How does he dare?
And he's a Byzantine prince.
355
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,720
Who knows? Maybe you'll be
a Byzantine princess one day.
356
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,360
I take this as an insult.
357
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,920
I have nothing to do
with such an insolent man.
358
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,120
Bagelina.
This silence is no good.
359
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,600
Catch those Mayan bitches!
360
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,280
Get back, bastards!
361
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,400
Hey.
362
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,680
Did you change your hair?
Something's different.
363
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,680
Oh! Have you noticed?
364
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:39,640
Of course I have.
I'm a metrosexual Byzantine guy.
365
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,560
Let us go!
Let us go, jerks!
366
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,800
Fight like men!
367
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,840
User manuals! Let me go!
368
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,520
Mortal world.
369
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:04,880
Just live this sweet dream.
370
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,800
-I'm sorry for your loss.
-Thank you.
371
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:14,000
I would never have guessed that
I would shed tears for my brother.
372
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,400
These Mayan onions helped a lot.
373
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,200
Thank you.
374
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaking of the Mayans...
The Mayan women are kidnapped, right?
375
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,960
Informatus is about to come back.
He'll bring us news.
376
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:36,200
-Where is this Informatus?
-He'll be here soon.
377
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:37,480
Okay.
378
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:45,280
Your highness, I have good news.
All the Mayan women are arrested.
379
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,000
-I'm sorry for your loss, your majesty.
-Thank you.
380
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:04,800
I loved late Clitor so much.
He was a great king.
381
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:10,840
My wife Lady Gamma baked a cake
in memory of the deceased, your majesty.
382
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,280
Please give her my dearest thanks.
383
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:16,720
Of course.
384
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,960
-Kids, I'm so sorry for your loss.
-Thank you.
385
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,480
See, Passionius?
386
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:29,320
Draftia and Adonis are late
even to their father's funeral.
387
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,000
I'm sorry, your highness. I guess we're
not as enthusiastic as you are...
388
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,560
...when it comes to
bidding farewell to our father.
389
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,320
-Such a babbler!
-Okay, Draftia.
390
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,960
Don't forget that
you're talking to a queen.
391
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:45,680
Don't you forget that you're talking
to the king's children.
392
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,440
-I'm sorry for your loss, ma'am.
-Thank you.
393
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:55,400
My father used to speak highly of
Mayan heroism.
394
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:56,720
May he rest in peace.
395
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,960
-Yes. Now, it's time for the burial.
-We'll handle it, brother. Don't worry.
396
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,480
Guys, come on. Let's give a hand
for the late king's coffin.
397
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:08,920
Come on, heroes!
398
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,320
It's so heavy, like a dead horse!
399
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:13,960
Turn it.
400
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,560
Turn it. There's water here.
-Turn it.
401
00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:31,520
Am I seeing it right?
402
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:37,040
Are the Mayans carrying a sarcophagus
weighing 3000 pounds?
403
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:41,360
I don't get it either.
I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
404
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:48,880
-Idiots! Shorties! Stinking Byzantines!
-Move it!
405
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,480
You are only brave enough to
harass women? Godless whales!
406
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,120
Rats! Let us go!
407
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:01,440
Inglorious dumplings!
Lords of the pricks!
408
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,960
Insufficient funds!
Hideous jerks!
409
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,560
Rear wheel drives!
410
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:13,240
Bastards. None of them said
the sarcophagus weighed 3000 pounds.
411
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,360
My back hurts so bad, chief.
412
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:19,240
I'll ask my wife to excuse me tonight.
I'll go to sleep after two rounds.
413
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,640
Hitandrunis, don't you think
the village is way too quiet?
414
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:52,680
Sir!
Sir, our women...
415
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,400
-What happened to our women?
-They left.
416
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,840
-What do you mean?
-They just left.
417
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:01,840
They left us all alone!
418
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:03,760
What did you say?
419
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,520
-They're not here. There's no one.
-What do you mean?
420
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,800
-They ran away, sir.
-How did they run away?
421
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:13,560
-They are gone, sir.
-Where did they go? How?
422
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:15,840
Daddy...
423
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,920
How? How?
424
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:37,280
Ghazi Magosa, you know how
I always get straight to the point.
425
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,440
I'm leaving you.
426
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,040
How can you leave?
How?
427
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:48,280
Pretty easily, actually.
I'm leaving you all by yourself.
428
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:51,880
What about my daughter?
My Donutella?
429
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,560
I agree with mom.
430
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:59,920
I couldn't find a decent man for myself.
I'm going to the Wild West.
431
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:07,480
It's not you, it's me, Tacettin.
You are too good for me.
432
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:12,520
I need time. Maybe this is the best
for the both of us.
433
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:21,320
I'm into women now. That's why,
I had been licking my own boobs.
434
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,760
Just like The Byzantines said,
marriage is the end of love.
435
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,800
I thought I should leave,
and I'm leaving.
436
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:39,840
If it weren't for your letter,
If it weren't for your words,
437
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:48,120
No one would have believed
That we had broken up.
438
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:57,680
You never forget the heartache.
439
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:05,600
It's impossible to live
Forgetting everything.
440
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:24,120
What was it that kept us together?
What was it that joined our hands?
441
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:42,160
Don't tell me about our impossible love
Loving means taking chances.
442
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:50,960
If it weren't for your letter,
If it weren't for your words,
443
00:38:51,640 --> 00:39:00,000
No one would have believed
That we had broken up.
444
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:04,840
Nergis. Nergis...
445
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:14,720
Yes. Finally.
446
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,280
Here is your crown, your majesty.
As I promised.
447
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:30,920
What the hell? What is this?
Don't you have a smaller one?
448
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:35,720
Take this thing off my head.
-It's upside down, your majesty.
449
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:54,240
In honor of my coronation,
gladiator fights shall be organized.
450
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:57,160
Everyone shall die.
The winner shall also die.
451
00:39:57,240 --> 00:40:00,080
Now, get the hell out!
452
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,320
I want to have fun by myself!
453
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,120
If it comes back, it's yours.
454
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:46,360
If it doesn't,
we can write it off as an expense.
455
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,280
Father, what are you doing?
456
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:23,840
-Cacik.
-Whoa!
457
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,360
What else can I do, son?
458
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,840
Since your mother's gone,
I have to do everything.
459
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:34,680
She got mad at me because I didn't help
with the cooking. That's why she left.
460
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,920
You're wrong, father. My mother
didn't leave you because of that.
461
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,640
No. I know that's why.
462
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:44,160
She'll come back
as soon as she smells the cacik.
463
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,520
-She won't come back, dad.
-She will, son.
464
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:49,240
-She won't.
-She will!
465
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,400
She won't come back.
Do you understand? She won't.
466
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,760
My mother and the other women and Nergis
won't ever come back!
467
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,320
They won't!
-Screw your mother!
468
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,320
Sorry, father.
I didn't mean to upset you.
469
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:10,440
But women are not like boomerangs.
Once they leave, they never come back.
470
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,160
Thank God that
time is the best medicine.
471
00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:16,800
Look at me, for instance.
Look how I got over Nergis.
472
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,760
You will too.
-You never got over her!
473
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:29,640
The idiot left.
474
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,600
He didn't notice the drawing.
-You did a great job.
475
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,360
This is the best I could do
with eye pencil.
476
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,520
The guards have left, Lady Gamma.
477
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,480
Donutella.
How is the tunnel coming along?
478
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,720
I believe we'll reach the exit today.
479
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:49,960
Digging with a hairpin was hard,
but the tunnel is perfect.
480
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,120
Okay.
When are we going to escape?
481
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:56,240
We're not. Me and Bagelina
thought that we could go.
482
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,360
If we all leave, it'll be noticed.
We'll go and get help.
483
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,440
The tunnel can't handle
this much traffic, Lady Gamma.
484
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,840
-Okay, but be careful.
-Don't worry.
485
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:22,240
Donutella.
486
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,600
Do you think we overdid this tunnel?
-It's okay.
487
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:31,480
Consider it as a Mayan gift
for the future captives.
488
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,000
Let's go.
489
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,960
I think we might be walking too slowly.
490
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,040
I had bought this for my dowry,...
491
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,720
...but since there are no men
in The Byzantine to marry,...
492
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:59,920
...at least it can decorate
my father's tomb.
493
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,040
-Draftia.
-Yes, brother?
494
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:09,400
I smell a rat in our father's death.
495
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,280
What? A rat killed our father?
496
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:16,800
No, not like that. My father may have
been the victim of a murder.
497
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,360
I'm not sure.
It's just a feeling I have.
498
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:25,000
Dear father. If you were the victim
of such a plot, give us a sign.
499
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,600
Holy...
500
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:31,000
Run, girl.
501
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,000
Whoopsie daisy.
502
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:41,960
What are you doing here?
503
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,360
What are you doing
inside my father's sarcophagus?
504
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,120
Wait a minute.
You're that girl from the waterfall.
505
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,760
-Yes, it's me. So what?
-I couldn't recognize you in clothes.
506
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,440
What are you doing here?
-What do you think?
507
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,440
We're trying to escape from the cellar.
The one you put us in...
508
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,320
...with the other Mayan women.
-Did they put you in a cellar?
509
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,400
They know nothing.
510
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,320
When our men went to
their father's funeral,...
511
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,840
...they came to the village
and took our women and children.
512
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,280
They're embarrassed.
They act like they don't know a thing.
513
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,760
Wait a minute.
Am I getting this right?
514
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:17,360
You were kidnapped
when we were at our father's funeral.
515
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:20,800
Then, you were put in a cellar.
And you dug a tunnel to escape, right?
516
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,240
Exactly, dear.
517
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:25,920
Draftia, did you know about this?
518
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,520
No, I didn't. Guards!
519
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:31,120
Come at once!
The captives are escaping! Guards!
520
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,920
-Stay where you are.
-Bastards!
521
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,800
-Guards!
-Bastards!
522
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,440
I should have known
you were going to do that.
523
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:38,880
What else could we expect from you?
524
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:41,280
-Guards!
-Wait. Wait, what are you doing?
525
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:42,520
Go!
526
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,200
-Stay where you are.
-Don't do something stupid.
527
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,960
Drop your weapon slowly, Mayan girl.
528
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,480
Kick it. Send it over here.
529
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:02,400
Come on. Move it.
530
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,880
Easy. Don't be rough.
531
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,760
Don't forget about the
Geneva Convention on Human Rights.
532
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,720
Don't step on the green.
533
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,400
I'll kick your ass later.
Fancy Daisy!
534
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,960
Brother, did you hear that?
She called me "Fancy Daisy".
535
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:16,040
Fancy Daisy!
536
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,720
Easy, girl.
I'm so confused.
537
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,720
-Move it.
-Let me go!
538
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:22,840
Move.
539
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:26,240
Chain her, Sergeantus.
Come here!
540
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:31,280
This is The Byzantine!
There is no escape from here!
541
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,680
Who are you to put me in chains?
542
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,680
Humpty Dumpties!
Thrombocytes!
543
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:43,960
Ruptured breast implants!
Assholes!
544
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:53,320
-Doctor Autopsys.
-Dear prince and princess.
545
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:56,640
Good day.
We are here to...
546
00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:00,760
I'm curious about my father's death.
547
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,440
I thought the palace doctor said
it was an heart attack.
548
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,840
I know that,
but we need a detailed report...
549
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,320
...for the paperwork
regarding our inheritance.
550
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:13,080
You know Byzantine bureaucracy.
-Tell me about it. Okay, I'll do it.
551
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,480
But the autopsy might take a few days.
552
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:19,520
Okay. I'll be waiting to hear from you.
Good luck.
553
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:20,840
Let's go, Draftia.
554
00:47:32,240 --> 00:47:35,320
Vivor. I dub thee "Sir".
555
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:40,240
From now on, your name is "Sir Vivor".
-Just a minute, your majesty.
556
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,440
Hey. It sounds nice.
557
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,880
Dear general.
I dub thee "Motor".
558
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:52,480
From now on,
your name is General Motors.
559
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,040
Put on your helmet.
560
00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:56,360
And get a haircut.
561
00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:58,840
Now, take your new titles and get out.
562
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,160
Hey, soldier.
Come here.
563
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,520
Throw Sir Vivor to the lions.
564
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,400
Let's see how long he will be able to
keep his title.
565
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:14,200
Get out of my way!
566
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:15,560
Oh, I laughed so hard!
567
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:17,440
Laugh while you can.
568
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:19,520
We are losing the empire,
and you are laughing.
569
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:21,120
We have lost so much time.
570
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,880
We need to start the
second part of our plan immediately.
571
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:28,960
-We have a plan?
-Get out of my way.
572
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:30,800
I'm trying to tell you something.
573
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:34,440
Why did we put the Mayan women
in the dungeon, idiot?
574
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:38,600
In order to alter their genetic codes.
In order to mix their bloodline.
575
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,680
That's the second part of the plan.
-What are we going to do?
576
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:43,400
Are we going to lay under the men?
577
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,640
Not us,
but someone else will do it for us.
578
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:49,960
For example, the Matryoshkas.
579
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:54,360
The Matryoshka Tribe will
mess up the bloodline of the Mayans.
580
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,480
They will also confuse them.
581
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,720
They will never be able to
pull themselves together again.
582
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:06,240
Civil wars, corruption, interest wars,
sectarian violence, clans, mafia...
583
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,600
They will have it all!
I want it all!
584
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:17,160
Don't laugh harder than me.
585
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:43,000
All these years, I've been blue,
Woman, nothing can replace you.
586
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:48,400
100 years would make no difference
I'd still miss her.
587
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:53,600
1000 years would make no difference
I'd still miss you.
588
00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:07,480
She's no good for you anymore,
Don't get too close to her.
589
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:12,960
It would make no difference anyway.
She doesn't love you at all.
590
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:18,080
It would make no difference anyway.
Be a man and leave her alone.
591
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:25,920
But I missed her so bad.
I'm no good, I know that.
592
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:31,400
Who cares, I just missed her.
In every face, I look for her.
593
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:37,240
What if she has a lover?
What if she is engaged or married?
594
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:44,920
I don't care, I missed her so bad.
I know that I'm ill bred.
595
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:50,400
Who cares, I missed her so bad.
In every face, I look for her.
596
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:56,320
What if she has a lover?
What if she is engaged or married?
597
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:03,840
I don't care, I missed her so bad.
I know that I'm ill bred.
598
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:09,440
Who cares, I missed her so bad.
If I saw her one last time, I'd be glad.
599
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:16,880
She won't remember you.
She won't care about your tears.
600
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:38,080
Hello, handsome men.
Good day.
601
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,080
Who are these women, son?
602
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,920
We are from the Matryoshka Tribe.
603
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:49,240
I'm Bacikova.
I'm the head of the women.
604
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:52,120
And I'm Bozukova.
605
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:56,280
We heard that your women left you.
606
00:51:56,360 --> 00:52:00,960
Out tribe leader has sent us
to keep you entertained.
607
00:52:06,240 --> 00:52:08,080
I'll step all over you
with my high heels!
608
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,920
Byzantine bastards! I'll gouge out
your eyes and hand them to you!
609
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,200
I'll cut your junk and
stuff it in your mouth!
610
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,000
I've never heard of such fantasies.
She's crazy.
611
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:18,720
She says she'll cut it.
612
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:21,480
The prince is coming.
613
00:52:22,720 --> 00:52:23,920
Soldiers.
614
00:52:26,240 --> 00:52:29,360
Is the Mayan princess here?
-She is, your majesty.
615
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:31,600
Open the door.
Why are you staring?
616
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:34,560
Let's see if she is as mad as they say.
617
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:38,680
She is, sir.
She has wild fantasies.
618
00:52:38,720 --> 00:52:40,920
She says she'll walk all over us
with her high heels.
619
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,480
And she also says she'll cut our junk
and stuff it in our mouths.
620
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:51,360
You are talking to the Byzantine prince,
not your friend from the army.
621
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:52,800
Open the door now.
622
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:02,320
Yes, your highness.
623
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,360
Lady Donutella.
624
00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:15,280
Why are you here? Did your mother
assign you the duty of killing me?
625
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:21,120
Look.
First of all, she's not my mother.
626
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,760
Second of all, I didn't know that you
were being kept here. Don't be unfair.
627
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:26,880
And I don't approve of all this.
628
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:30,720
I get it. You're playing
"good prince, bad queen", right?
629
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:34,560
We're not playing any games.
Look. I'm here to save you.
630
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:36,480
If you let me, of course.
631
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:04,120
I can't unchain you.
I need to cut the rope.
632
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:58,360
The show has begun in there.
633
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,960
I was wondering where the
saxophone sound was coming from.
634
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:08,440
What's going on inside?
635
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:12,760
That's it.
636
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:14,880
Your majesty.
637
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:19,280
Adonis, I'm so sorry.
I was unfair to you.
638
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:30,520
-Adonis. What is going on here?
-Well...
639
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:34,720
Can I ask why
you set this Mayan captive free?
640
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:39,160
My dear nephew and stepson, Adonis.
641
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:44,360
Dear uncle.
I set her free because...
642
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,560
Well...
I just wanted a Mayan chick.
643
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,200
See, Clitoria?
644
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,160
Adonis is way more outgoing
than his father.
645
00:55:56,200 --> 00:56:00,680
-I see. Just like his uncle.
-You're nothing but traitors!
646
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:04,160
You're broken condom products!
Stupid bastards!
647
00:56:04,240 --> 00:56:06,720
I thought you were on our side.
I thought you were not our enemy.
648
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,640
I thought you respected the Mayans.
649
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:14,200
I thought...
-Enough! Pull yourself together.
650
00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:17,200
Don't you understand?
I said all those things to trick you.
651
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:19,680
All of it!
But you will enjoy it too.
652
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:21,760
Do you understand?
You're enjoying it.
653
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:27,920
Now...
Your majesty and my dear uncle.
654
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:29,960
Will you excuse me for a while?
655
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,640
-Oh, you want us to leave.
-Yes.
656
00:56:34,720 --> 00:56:40,840
The poor kid is shy. See?
Anyway. Let's wait outside.
657
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:42,640
No. Don't wait outside.
658
00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:45,400
You must have other things to do.
I'll be busy for a long time.
659
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:48,760
No.
I want to keep time and score.
660
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:51,840
You know what I mean?
Dear stepson...
661
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:55,120
If she doesn't obey,
you can kill the bitch.
662
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:57,880
It's my gift to you.
-Bastards!
663
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:00,480
Butters mixed with mashed potatoes!
664
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:04,120
Whatever you do to me,
my brother will make you pay.
665
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:06,720
Okay. Calm down.
I don't want to make love to you.
666
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:09,600
Why? Don't you like me?
Am I not pretty?
667
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:11,520
Of course you are.
You are very pretty.
668
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,760
The kind of pretty
I had been dreaming about.
669
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:15,680
But I want a serious relationship
with you.
670
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,560
I'm thinking about what to do now.
671
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,920
If he's anything like his uncle,
the girl won't be able to resist.
672
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,440
She'll be all over him.
-Shut up. I can't hear anything.
673
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:32,640
So, what are we going to do now?
674
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:36,480
-You know what?
-What?
675
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:40,120
We're going to do it in a way that
my uncle and the queen will believe us.
676
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:41,760
-What?
-You know, we're going to do it.
677
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:43,320
When we're doing it...
678
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,600
The noises.
-The noises.
679
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:46,960
The noises.
680
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,240
-Noises.
-Okay.
681
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:51,760
-Just the noises.
-Okay. The noises.
682
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:54,840
-A bit loud.
-Okay.
683
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:02,240
I guess he takes his time getting ready.
Just like his uncle.
684
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:09,800
-"Moo"?
-"Moo".
685
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:12,880
-What the hell is "moo"?
-Our cows do that.
686
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:14,480
Your cows?
687
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:18,440
Haven't you ever had sex before?
688
00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:25,720
Nonsense. For God's sake...
There was this kid in camp last year.
689
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:29,480
Okay. I've never had sex.
690
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:32,760
I don't know how to make sounds
or anything.
691
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:36,520
This is really good news, but now,
we have to focus.
692
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:38,080
Okay, you know
how you're going to do it?
693
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:39,560
How?
694
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:42,240
Think about chocolate.
Milk chocolate with hazelnuts.
695
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,440
Now, imagine eating that chocolate.
696
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:48,120
Okay? Come on.
697
00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:53,320
It's so delicious.
698
00:58:57,400 --> 00:58:58,560
Delicious.
699
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:00,200
So good.
700
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:01,920
Great!
701
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,600
I'll kill you anyway, dirty pig!
702
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:08,720
You can have my body, but not my soul.
703
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:11,520
What the hell would I do
with your soul?
704
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:15,440
Oh, Adonis... Adonis, you can
also have my soul if you like.
705
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,440
Adonis... Adonis...
706
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:29,080
That Adonis
is truly a Byzantine bastard.
707
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,160
Take me.
708
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:37,760
Cut it. Cut it.
709
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:43,680
Okay. They're gone.
Enough. Enough.
710
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:46,960
That was enough!
You can stop now!
711
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:49,160
I said they are gone!
-Okay, sorry.
712
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:50,880
I got carried away.
713
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:53,640
That felt so good.
714
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,600
Look.
There are guards by the door.
715
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,080
I can't take you out just yet,
but don't worry.
716
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:04,440
I'll come back
and save you from this hell.
717
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:24,680
Adonis. It was nice
pretending to eat chocolate with you.
718
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:26,400
Thank you.
-Don't worry.
719
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:28,000
Once I get you out of here,...
720
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:31,000
...we're going to have
chocolate fondue together.
721
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:36,000
Dirty pig.
722
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:38,520
You'll pay for
what you have done to me.
723
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,000
Killer whales!
724
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:44,440
Listen.
From now on, his woman is mine.
725
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:47,920
She's my slave. If anyone
tries to make a move on her,...
726
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,320
...I'll rip their guts out
and make flutes out of them.
727
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:53,160
I'll cut out their liver and heart
and feed them to the dogs.
728
01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:55,200
I'll kick their asses.
729
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:56,920
Understood?
-Yes, prince.
730
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:58,640
-Understood?
-Yes, sir.
731
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:01,960
Wow...
732
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:14,600
God bless those Matryoshkas.
They are helping our tribe.
733
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:21,880
They used vodka instead of soap,
but no problem. It's okay.
734
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:34,400
Sorry, sister.
I guess I came to the wrong place.
735
01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:40,920
No. It's not the wrong place.
I did the dishes and the laundry.
736
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:48,960
I did the ironing. I did the cooking.
I milked the cows. I boiled the milk.
737
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:52,120
I prepared thick cream
and added honey.
738
01:01:52,160 --> 01:01:55,880
Would you like me to do anything else?
739
01:01:56,960 --> 01:02:02,000
Just name it.
-Thank you so much, sister.
740
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:05,680
You've done so much already.
-Are you sure?
741
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:09,120
Yes, sister.
And it's my final answer.
742
01:02:09,160 --> 01:02:12,480
Come on! I'm a single woman.
And you're a widower.
743
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:15,720
I'm not exactly a widower.
Maybe she'll come back.
744
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:20,680
She's not the only woman in the world.
I can be as much a wife as she was.
745
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:27,400
I'm sure you can, but I won't lay hands
on anyone other than my love.
746
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:33,720
So, you still couldn't forget her.
747
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,320
I forgot her! Do you understand?
I forgot her!
748
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:38,200
Nergis doesn't exist for me anymore!
749
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:41,560
-What are you doing, son?
-I forgot about her!
750
01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:45,520
You are going to make me curse
next time!
751
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:49,120
Come on, sister. Go to bed.
752
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:54,720
And tell the others:
You all are gorgeous women. Gorgeous.
753
01:02:54,800 --> 01:03:01,000
But a Mayan man who's in love with his
woman never even looks at anyone else.
754
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:05,760
Go and sleep in our beds tonight.
We'll take the couch.
755
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:15,400
I'm not sleepy.
756
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:19,520
There's a rerun of Karagoz and Hacivat.
I'm going to watch that.
757
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:22,880
Good night, daddy.
-Good night, son.
758
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:31,280
Oh, Lady Gamma...
759
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:33,760
Oh, the Mayan brides...
760
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:37,560
Come and see
how much your men love you.
761
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:43,200
Passionius. Where did this
archery business come from?
762
01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:46,360
You can't do that kind of stuff.
This is a Mayan sport.
763
01:03:46,440 --> 01:03:49,840
What do you mean I can't?
I'll succeed in this.
764
01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:55,560
Help!
765
01:03:56,560 --> 01:04:00,760
Look, you shot two grapes
with one arrow. Congratulations.
766
01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:03,840
-Your highness, king Passionius.
-Yes.
767
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:07,000
Your stepson,
and your husband Passionius' nephew,...
768
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:09,720
...asked for a report
from Doctor Autopsys...
769
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:12,880
...regarding the circumstances
of your ex-husband...
770
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:17,280
...the late king Clitor III's death,
who was your new husband's brother.
771
01:04:20,240 --> 01:04:25,240
Wait a minute...
My stepson is my husband's nephew.
772
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:29,920
And my wife's stepson is my nephew.
773
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:35,120
Adonis.
774
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:38,720
I guess he has doubts
concerning our former king's death.
775
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:39,960
I told you.
776
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:44,320
I told you that this kid
inherited his father's faulty genes.
777
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:48,040
-Then his fate will be the same.
-It's okay. It can be.
778
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:50,480
Informatus!
Inform the palace hangman.
779
01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:54,720
Tell him to take Adonis to the forest
and kill him there.
780
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:56,040
As you wish, your majesty.
781
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:59,800
And tell him to bring his heart to me.
Okay?
782
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:05,600
I'll grab my backpack and go south. Far
away from the chaos of The Byzantine.
783
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,000
I'll live in the Bodrum Castle,
where there's no one else.
784
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:10,640
Enough!
-Bodrum?
785
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:13,360
Let's go to Cyprus, my dear princess.
It would be better.
786
01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:15,840
Come in.
787
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:22,480
I brought your father's autopsy report.
788
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:25,960
I can tell you that
your father has been murdered.
789
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:32,680
A vicious murder.
Committed in cold blood.
790
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,400
I still don't understand where this
hunting trip idea came from, Mortis.
791
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:45,920
It's the migration season
of green headed ducks.
792
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:49,160
Why does it matter?
It's just sports anyway.
793
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:52,240
But we should only kill
as much as we need.
794
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:54,880
Poor animals.
795
01:05:56,960 --> 01:06:01,000
Don't worry, your majesty.
I'll kill just as much as we need.
796
01:06:04,120 --> 01:06:05,560
Yes.
797
01:06:11,040 --> 01:06:15,520
Why are you looking at me like that?
-Your majesty. Run away now.
798
01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:18,080
Now!
-Why? Are you going to fart?
799
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:20,240
It's okay. Let it go.
We're outside.
800
01:06:20,320 --> 01:06:21,600
No, your majesty.
801
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:25,240
I had to bring you here and kill you.
It's the queen's order.
802
01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:29,080
But your father Clitor
has helped me a lot.
803
01:06:29,120 --> 01:06:33,040
He arranged a decent job for me
in the palace, with health benefits.
804
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:37,360
Thanks to him, I was able to chop
people's heads off for an honest living.
805
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:41,480
For all these years. So please, run.
I'll tell her that I killed you.
806
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:49,280
I take a bow before your arrow.
You're a real man, Mortis.
807
01:06:55,560 --> 01:07:00,120
Now, it's time to find a heart
to bring back to the palace.
808
01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:07,880
So, this is Adonis' heart, you say?
809
01:07:07,960 --> 01:07:12,120
Yes. It's rude to talk
behind a dead man, but...
810
01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:14,480
I think he was a bit heartless,
your majesty.
811
01:07:14,560 --> 01:07:18,760
Dude, does this look like
a human heart to you?
812
01:07:18,840 --> 01:07:22,600
Okay, we may not be
as good as the Mayans in science,...
813
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:25,360
...but we're not idiots.
-We're not idiots!
814
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:30,080
Guards! Take him!
He shall chop his own head off!
815
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,560
Mercy! Have mercy!
Your highness!
816
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:36,960
Please don't make me do this to myself!
Please! Have mercy!
817
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:38,080
No mercy for you!
818
01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:45,120
It's not good that
Adonis is still alive!
819
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:48,520
Damn woman! Tell me,
what have you done to my brother?
820
01:07:48,600 --> 01:07:50,800
Where did you come from?
You freaked me out.
821
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:53,600
So, you sneaked into
the queen's room and eavesdropped.
822
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:55,800
You should be ashamed.
823
01:07:55,880 --> 01:07:58,080
You'll pay for what you did
to my brother, Clitoria.
824
01:07:59,800 --> 01:08:01,240
Do you think I'm afraid of you?
825
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:05,400
I sent him to the forest to be killed,
but the executioner couldn't do it.
826
01:08:05,480 --> 01:08:08,160
And you're laughing.
You're supposed to be my uncle.
827
01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:12,360
Uncles are supposed to be half fathers.
-I'm the worse half.
828
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:15,840
Take them to the dungeon.
829
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:21,480
And wash that filthy Dirtius
on a program with a pre-wash cycle.
830
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:22,880
No, don't wash me!
831
01:08:22,960 --> 01:08:25,120
Rub him!
832
01:08:56,520 --> 01:08:59,880
Have a nice day, ladies.
Which way is the Mayan village?
833
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:06,520
We can show you, darling.
834
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:08,440
Run, run!
835
01:09:22,400 --> 01:09:26,240
-Brother, where are you going?
-I'd like to see Ghazi Magosa.
836
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:28,320
-Who is this?
-The Byzantine Prince Adonis.
837
01:09:28,400 --> 01:09:29,560
Wait.
838
01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:35,240
Testing.
839
01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:41,280
Ghazi Magosa. You have a visitor.
The Byzantine Prince Adonis.
840
01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:46,200
Let him in.
841
01:09:54,520 --> 01:09:55,960
Come in, brother.
842
01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:19,960
-Hi, fellas.
-Easy. This is their greeting.
843
01:10:20,640 --> 01:10:22,640
Welcome, son of late Clitor.
844
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:24,960
We're sorry for the formalities.
845
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,720
When all the women of the tribe
left us widowers,...
846
01:10:27,840 --> 01:10:29,560
...the women of the Matryoshka Tribe...
847
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:31,680
...started to come and sleep over
without asking.
848
01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:34,760
We feared that our women would
hear about it and never come back.
849
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:35,880
So we took measures.
850
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:39,160
What do you mean when you say
the women of the tribe left you?
851
01:10:39,200 --> 01:10:40,240
Such a tragedy.
852
01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:42,440
When we came back from
your late father's funeral,...
853
01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:43,720
...we saw that they were all gone.
854
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:45,640
They took the kids and left.
-Exactly.
855
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:49,360
We thought this was one of those
rough patches you have in relationships.
856
01:10:49,440 --> 01:10:52,320
We're waiting hopefully.
-They won't come back. You understand?
857
01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:54,880
They won't!
Nergis won't come back!
858
01:10:55,000 --> 01:10:56,680
My mother won't come back!
859
01:10:58,080 --> 01:10:59,360
Daddy.
860
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:03,840
Usually, I'm not a nosy guy,
but who is this Nergis?
861
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:06,840
Who is Nergis?
862
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:10,240
Who is Nergis?
863
01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:13,080
Who is Nergis?
864
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:21,600
-I liked you a lot, Nergis.
-I liked you too, Hitandrunis.
865
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:24,000
Nergis, honey. Come on.
We're done here. We're leaving.
866
01:11:24,040 --> 01:11:25,360
I'm coming, dad.
867
01:11:25,440 --> 01:11:27,840
Do you have to leave?
We have just met.
868
01:11:27,880 --> 01:11:30,920
Maybe we'll come again.
I'll see you then.
869
01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:33,800
-Promise?
-Promise.
870
01:11:49,280 --> 01:11:52,600
Nergis didn't keep her promise.
She never came back.
871
01:11:55,120 --> 01:11:58,080
That's it, father. Once a woman leaves,
she never comes back.
872
01:11:58,120 --> 01:12:00,400
If she's gone, she's gone.
It's over.
873
01:12:00,480 --> 01:12:01,720
Don't be silly.
874
01:12:01,760 --> 01:12:04,120
Your women didn't leave you.
They are held as captives...
875
01:12:04,160 --> 01:12:07,960
...in The Byzantine.
-What do you mean "captives"?
876
01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:09,280
I didn't take them.
877
01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:13,320
My stepmother and
my uncle Passionius did it.
878
01:12:13,440 --> 01:12:15,680
Why would they do something like that?
879
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:18,800
They could do it just for fun,
but that's not the main purpose.
880
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:21,120
Their main purpose
is to eradicate you,...
881
01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:24,000
...and to regenerate their bloodline
with your women.
882
01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:26,880
How? What do you mean?
883
01:12:26,960 --> 01:12:30,320
So, you say that they're going to...
884
01:12:30,400 --> 01:12:31,600
Exactly.
885
01:12:31,680 --> 01:12:34,200
Their purpose is to screw your women
day and night,...
886
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:36,640
...three times a day,
in 72 different positions.
887
01:12:36,760 --> 01:12:39,040
Then they wait and start again.
Day and night.
888
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:40,800
Three times a day,
72 different positions.
889
01:12:40,840 --> 01:12:44,680
Okay, we get it!
What a description!
890
01:12:45,320 --> 01:12:48,960
Why are you telling this to us?
Why should we believe you?
891
01:12:49,040 --> 01:12:54,720
Because that heartless queen and
my jackass uncle killed my father.
892
01:12:54,800 --> 01:12:56,200
I think they did.
893
01:12:56,280 --> 01:12:59,080
If you still don't believe me,
here is the proof.
894
01:13:01,640 --> 01:13:05,000
-What's that?
-Your sister Donutella's panties.
895
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,200
-What?
-Calm down.
896
01:13:07,280 --> 01:13:09,680
You got me wrong.
897
01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:11,520
When I say
your sister Donutella's panties...
898
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,360
Your sister gave them to me willingly.
899
01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:15,680
What?
What do you mean willingly?
900
01:13:15,760 --> 01:13:19,000
Wait a minute. When I say
she gave them to me willingly...
901
01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:20,840
She willingly...
902
01:13:20,920 --> 01:13:22,840
She willingly took off her panties
for me.
903
01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:24,280
-What?
-Wait a minute.
904
01:13:24,360 --> 01:13:26,920
Let's start over.
Please, let me start over.
905
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:29,880
Your sister gave me one of her
belongings so that you would believe me.
906
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:31,120
It's as simple as that.
907
01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:38,440
Tell me, Gigolopoulos.
What assignment did I give you?
908
01:13:38,520 --> 01:13:42,080
You were supposed to rape
the Mayan women and...
909
01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:45,120
...knock them up, right?
910
01:13:45,160 --> 01:13:48,760
Your majesty,
we did our best, but we failed.
911
01:13:48,840 --> 01:13:51,000
You failed.
You failed to do it.
912
01:13:51,080 --> 01:13:53,560
I didn't order you to go to war,
I ordered you to have sex.
913
01:13:53,640 --> 01:13:56,200
All you had to do
was to rape the Mayan women.
914
01:13:56,280 --> 01:13:58,600
Your majesty, you don't get it.
It's impossible.
915
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:02,800
Their ladyparts are like
pencil sharpeners.
916
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:07,200
They cut whatever gets in.
See for yourself.
917
01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:11,520
Drop your pants!
Present your junk!
918
01:14:19,200 --> 01:14:26,680
This one is scratched so bad.
Poor thing. It's such a shame.
919
01:14:29,560 --> 01:14:30,720
This one's still good.
920
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:32,920
I think there's no problem
with this one.
921
01:14:41,320 --> 01:14:42,640
I can't believe it.
922
01:14:42,720 --> 01:14:46,240
If this is how it looks cut,
I wonder what it would look like uncut.
923
01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:49,520
Unbelievable.
924
01:14:49,600 --> 01:14:51,080
Hold that.
925
01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:57,520
This one is fine.
This is fine, soldier.
926
01:15:00,960 --> 01:15:03,160
God damn you!
Shut up!
927
01:15:03,240 --> 01:15:04,640
Get the hell out of here!
928
01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:15,560
Father, what do you think?
Should we believe him?
929
01:15:15,640 --> 01:15:16,880
I don't know, son,...
930
01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:20,320
...but if it's true, we need to save
our women from those jackals...
931
01:15:20,440 --> 01:15:22,760
...before they ruin them.
932
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:26,520
There's only one way to find out
if it's true or not.
933
01:15:28,880 --> 01:15:32,440
I'll go to The Byzantine with Adonis
and see if our women are there.
934
01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:35,600
But those jackals
will never let you in, son.
935
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:37,080
They will, father.
936
01:15:37,560 --> 01:15:41,680
They will open the doors
with their own hands and let me in.
937
01:15:47,800 --> 01:15:50,000
The Colonel's wife called me at night,
Sergeantus.
938
01:15:50,080 --> 01:15:54,440
And she didn't have any underwear on.
I outranked her all night.
939
01:15:54,520 --> 01:15:55,720
Shut up already.
940
01:15:55,800 --> 01:15:57,040
What the hell is that?
941
01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:03,520
What's up? What is this?
-Don't you see?
942
01:16:03,640 --> 01:16:05,560
It's a Trojan duck.
We brought it for your king.
943
01:16:05,640 --> 01:16:06,760
Why?
944
01:16:06,840 --> 01:16:11,160
A coronation gift for King Passionius,
from the Mayan leader Ghazi Magosa.
945
01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:14,240
Quack.
946
01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:16,440
-Fine.
-Fine.
947
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:19,320
-Open the door then, Sergeantus.
-Okay, then.
948
01:16:27,240 --> 01:16:30,720
Hitandrunis, we're leaving.
Good luck.
949
01:16:31,360 --> 01:16:33,280
Take me.
Let's run away.
950
01:17:02,320 --> 01:17:05,400
Hitandrunis, let's split up.
951
01:17:05,480 --> 01:17:10,360
I'll go this way.
You can go that way.
952
01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:14,440
-I'll follow my heart.
-Alright.
953
01:17:15,640 --> 01:17:16,920
You go that way.
954
01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:41,440
Damn it.
It's a Mayan lock with a password.
955
01:17:42,880 --> 01:17:44,080
Stop. Don't move.
956
01:17:46,960 --> 01:17:51,840
What do you mean "don't move"?
I am the Byzantine prince, idiot.
957
01:17:51,880 --> 01:17:54,880
Sorry, your majesty.
There's a warrant for your arrest.
958
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:57,120
What do you mean?
959
01:17:57,600 --> 01:18:01,240
What the hell is an arrest warrant?
There must have been a mistake.
960
01:18:01,280 --> 01:18:04,440
Come and see.
Look what it says. Look.
961
01:18:04,800 --> 01:18:08,440
"The Byzantine prince Adonis
from Samatya".
962
01:18:08,520 --> 01:18:10,200
-Yes.
-Where is my birth place?
963
01:18:10,280 --> 01:18:11,920
-What?
-What?
964
01:18:12,000 --> 01:18:13,440
-Where?
-Fikirtepe.
965
01:18:13,480 --> 01:18:14,760
-Fikirtepe?
-Yes.
966
01:18:14,880 --> 01:18:17,280
Can you prove that
your birth place is Fikirtepe?
967
01:18:17,360 --> 01:18:20,200
I can. Of course I can.
Take this.
968
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,080
I'll prove where my birth place is.
969
01:18:22,120 --> 01:18:24,880
Why? How many Adonises are there?
Maybe there was a typo.
970
01:18:24,960 --> 01:18:26,720
Here's your proof!
971
01:18:27,720 --> 01:18:29,800
Let's see where your ID is.
972
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:34,360
What's your birth date?
973
01:18:34,760 --> 01:18:37,920
1126. Good.
974
01:18:40,720 --> 01:18:47,120
Eleven... Twenty six.
975
01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:52,480
They told you so many times not to use
your birth date as a password!
976
01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:53,840
Idiots.
977
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:19,120
-Hitandrunis?
-Draftia.
978
01:19:22,080 --> 01:19:24,840
-Why are you here?
-Why are you here?
979
01:19:24,960 --> 01:19:27,200
Those bastards put me in here.
What about you?
980
01:19:27,280 --> 01:19:31,200
I was here to save our women,
but I guess I'll save you too.
981
01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:34,560
How can we escape from here?
We don't have keys.
982
01:19:35,800 --> 01:19:37,640
Can you turn around? Turn around.
983
01:19:46,720 --> 01:19:48,080
Okay. I'm taking care of it.
984
01:19:57,400 --> 01:20:00,000
I didn't enlarge this part much.
I think you won't get stuck.
985
01:20:04,360 --> 01:20:08,640
It's all I can do without measurements.
Let me help you, sister Draftia.
986
01:20:08,720 --> 01:20:10,880
Please stop calling me "sister".
987
01:20:10,960 --> 01:20:14,680
-It's okay, Draftia.
-Please stop telling me it's okay.
988
01:20:14,720 --> 01:20:18,040
-Draftia.
-Please stop calling me "Draftia".
989
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:23,080
-What do you want me to say?
-Please stop saying anything.
990
01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:24,960
Just shut up.
991
01:20:30,320 --> 01:20:32,720
You couldn't wait for two minutes!
Two minutes!
992
01:20:32,800 --> 01:20:34,000
Let's run.
993
01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:39,400
-Adonis.
-Donutella.
994
01:20:39,480 --> 01:20:40,600
You're back.
995
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:43,200
Did you think
I would leave you here to die?
996
01:20:43,280 --> 01:20:46,360
We're going to eat chocolate fondue
together all night long.
997
01:20:58,160 --> 01:20:59,720
Good day.
998
01:20:59,800 --> 01:21:03,400
-Oh, no! My brother!
-Oh, no! My brother!
999
01:21:04,320 --> 01:21:05,760
It's no big deal.
1000
01:21:05,840 --> 01:21:09,120
Adonis told us everything.
We're here to save you.
1001
01:21:09,200 --> 01:21:11,120
By the way, they locked Draftia up too.
1002
01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:13,360
I saved her too.
I saved everyone I saw.
1003
01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:17,320
Do you know each other?
-We do.
1004
01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:20,440
She knows me as Fancy Daisy,
but it's okay.
1005
01:21:20,520 --> 01:21:22,360
Okay. Cut the crap.
1006
01:21:22,440 --> 01:21:24,760
Let's go and
save the women and the children.
1007
01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:31,320
Hitandrunis. This way.
1008
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:33,880
Bastards!
How could you do this to me?
1009
01:21:33,960 --> 01:21:36,160
Dirtius.
That is Dirtius' voice.
1010
01:21:36,280 --> 01:21:37,600
Help! Help us!
1011
01:21:37,720 --> 01:21:38,880
Bagelina!
1012
01:21:38,960 --> 01:21:41,280
-Is this a good time for bagels?
-She's my best friend.
1013
01:21:41,360 --> 01:21:43,840
-Cut it already.
-Let's go and save her.
1014
01:21:45,000 --> 01:21:47,440
-Adonis, what's the password?
-1126.
1015
01:21:48,840 --> 01:21:50,560
Dirtius.
-Brother.
1016
01:21:50,680 --> 01:21:51,880
Holy crap.
1017
01:21:51,960 --> 01:21:54,720
What have they done to you?
-I'm not myself anymore.
1018
01:21:54,760 --> 01:21:57,760
They turned me into a businessman.
Come on. Kill me.
1019
01:21:57,880 --> 01:22:00,280
End this pain.
Come on, dude. Come on.
1020
01:22:07,400 --> 01:22:10,960
Guys, this is my best friend Dirtius.
1021
01:22:11,080 --> 01:22:14,680
Dirtius, this is Donutella's
older brother, Hitandrunis.
1022
01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:18,440
You know Donutella and Bagelina
from the bakery. I mean, the waterfall.
1023
01:22:18,520 --> 01:22:22,000
That was you singing sad songs
in the cell next to mine.
1024
01:22:22,080 --> 01:22:23,560
You have a lovely voice.
1025
01:22:23,640 --> 01:22:27,360
And your death threats
were lovely too.
1026
01:22:27,440 --> 01:22:29,760
Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but...
1027
01:22:29,840 --> 01:22:34,000
...I think we should save our women.
-Yes. Hitandrunis is right.
1028
01:22:34,080 --> 01:22:37,240
Let's go and save the women.
1029
01:22:39,360 --> 01:22:40,800
Get them!
They're running away!
1030
01:22:41,920 --> 01:22:43,720
Dirtius.
Take the girls and go over there.
1031
01:22:43,800 --> 01:22:46,360
Adonis and I will keep them busy.
-No way, brother.
1032
01:22:46,400 --> 01:22:49,040
I'm going to fight next to you.
-No, Donutella. Go!
1033
01:22:49,120 --> 01:22:51,720
Go and ask for help from my father.
There's too many of them.
1034
01:22:55,840 --> 01:22:58,080
Why are you yelling?
1035
01:23:02,320 --> 01:23:05,320
Do you think we can handle them?
1036
01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:08,640
Brother-in-law.
-What? "Brother-in-law"?
1037
01:23:08,720 --> 01:23:12,760
Yes. I know it's not the right time
to discuss this, but...
1038
01:23:12,840 --> 01:23:15,920
...I fell in love
with your sister Donutella.
1039
01:23:16,320 --> 01:23:18,280
Sorry. Wait a minute.
1040
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:21,400
Can you come over here?
-What the hell, man? Are you crazy?
1041
01:23:21,440 --> 01:23:22,560
What the hell?
1042
01:23:22,640 --> 01:23:25,280
Come over here.
I'll tell you something. It's important.
1043
01:23:28,440 --> 01:23:31,120
You picked this moment to talk?
1044
01:23:31,200 --> 01:23:33,440
Okay, whatever.
We can talk later. Down.
1045
01:23:33,920 --> 01:23:38,080
Brother-in-law!
-What? "Brother-in-law"?
1046
01:23:38,200 --> 01:23:40,840
What's the problem?
You fell in love with my sister.
1047
01:23:40,920 --> 01:23:42,800
But I can't fall in love with yours?
1048
01:23:42,880 --> 01:23:45,720
-Leave my sister out of this.
-Don't worry. I'm serious.
1049
01:23:45,800 --> 01:23:49,960
When the time comes,
Draftia will be my first draft pick.
1050
01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:54,360
Okay. Easy. We surrender.
No need for violence. Okay.
1051
01:23:54,440 --> 01:23:56,480
Guys, you know I'm from The Byzantine.
1052
01:23:56,560 --> 01:24:01,960
Cut! Cut! Cut!
1053
01:24:07,240 --> 01:24:09,680
-What's that, dude?
-Wienertine.
1054
01:24:09,760 --> 01:24:12,880
What?
What kind of an invention is this?
1055
01:24:14,320 --> 01:24:18,040
It's an ancient form of execution
for grooms who cheat on their wives.
1056
01:24:18,520 --> 01:24:19,760
I'm sorry, brother.
1057
01:24:19,840 --> 01:24:23,120
What groom? I didn't propose yet.
We're not even engaged yet.
1058
01:24:24,320 --> 01:24:26,880
Move. Tie him up.
1059
01:24:33,960 --> 01:24:36,080
Pull out his junk.
-What?
1060
01:24:36,160 --> 01:24:37,640
-And that.
-Dude!
1061
01:24:37,720 --> 01:24:40,400
Let's put this birdie in the cage.
1062
01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:51,200
Dude. This is a joke, right?
You won't prune me, right?
1063
01:24:51,280 --> 01:24:54,040
If your friend is strong,
your wiener lives.
1064
01:24:54,120 --> 01:24:57,640
If he's not...
Just a tiny cut.
1065
01:24:57,720 --> 01:25:02,480
-Adonis. What is he talking about?
-These are the Byzantine games.
1066
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:04,600
We grew up with them.
1067
01:25:04,680 --> 01:25:07,680
Enough. Stop talking.
Give him the rock!
1068
01:25:07,720 --> 01:25:09,000
Sergeantus.
1069
01:25:10,280 --> 01:25:14,040
-Take this. If it drops...
-You're going to drop it. Give it to me.
1070
01:25:14,120 --> 01:25:17,600
The guillotine is attached to the rope,
and the rope is attached to the rock.
1071
01:25:17,680 --> 01:25:21,640
If Prince Adonis lowers his arms,
you won't be able to get it up again.
1072
01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:25,360
The guillotine will drop.
The stainless steel will cut.
1073
01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:30,720
Whip him!
1074
01:25:30,760 --> 01:25:33,920
Why are you whipping him?
He's going to drop the rock!
1075
01:25:34,080 --> 01:25:35,360
Dude.
1076
01:25:35,440 --> 01:25:37,920
Brother, how long can you hold it?
1077
01:25:37,960 --> 01:25:40,880
-Five minutes at best.
-I hope for the best then.
1078
01:25:40,960 --> 01:25:43,280
These bastards gave me a meteorite!
1079
01:25:43,360 --> 01:25:44,920
Whip him!
1080
01:25:45,000 --> 01:25:46,080
Whip him!
1081
01:25:46,120 --> 01:25:47,720
Harder! Harder!
1082
01:25:47,800 --> 01:25:49,080
Harder!
What do you want that is harder?
1083
01:25:49,160 --> 01:25:51,080
I can give you something harder.
Don't make me mad.
1084
01:25:51,160 --> 01:25:52,440
Harder!
1085
01:25:52,520 --> 01:25:53,640
Hitandrunis...
1086
01:25:58,280 --> 01:25:59,560
I'm sorry.
1087
01:25:59,640 --> 01:26:03,400
I'm sorry for what I'm about
to think now, Adonis.
1088
01:26:06,360 --> 01:26:11,080
Come on, Hitandrunis. Think.
Think. Think about Draftia.
1089
01:26:11,160 --> 01:26:13,640
Think about her in the tiniest detail.
1090
01:26:33,400 --> 01:26:34,360
Thank you.
1091
01:26:35,680 --> 01:26:37,040
Hitandrunis!
1092
01:26:43,120 --> 01:26:46,160
No way.
He broke the guillotine.
1093
01:26:47,600 --> 01:26:50,720
What the hell was that? Their junk
must be made of steel or something.
1094
01:26:50,800 --> 01:26:54,160
Chop their heads off!
Forget about the guillotine.
1095
01:26:54,240 --> 01:26:55,520
Chop them off with an axe!
1096
01:26:55,600 --> 01:26:56,640
Move.
1097
01:26:56,680 --> 01:26:59,880
Easy, jerk!
You're going to pluck it.
1098
01:27:00,760 --> 01:27:01,840
Move it.
1099
01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:13,840
Did you think I would leave you
in those executioner's hands?
1100
01:27:13,920 --> 01:27:15,840
Beware, fleabags!
1101
01:27:21,200 --> 01:27:22,440
Donutella.
1102
01:27:27,160 --> 01:27:28,720
-Your highness.
-What?
1103
01:27:28,800 --> 01:27:30,520
We are under attack by the Mayans,...
1104
01:27:30,560 --> 01:27:33,120
...but don't worry,
they can't get past the walls.
1105
01:27:33,200 --> 01:27:35,800
Sir, the walls have been breached!
1106
01:27:35,880 --> 01:27:37,920
Damn it.
Go and find Tetris.
1107
01:27:37,960 --> 01:27:41,960
He can fix the wall.
Soldiers! To the wall!
1108
01:27:42,040 --> 01:27:43,600
Hurry!
1109
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:46,600
Put the ladder against the wall!
1110
01:27:46,680 --> 01:27:50,120
And go behind the defense line!
1111
01:27:50,200 --> 01:27:54,040
Do not step on the grass!
Do not litter!
1112
01:28:03,000 --> 01:28:06,240
This is the end of the road, Donutella.
1113
01:28:07,200 --> 01:28:11,160
What are we going to do? I don't want to
die before holding a guy's hand.
1114
01:28:11,240 --> 01:28:12,400
That's not going to happen.
1115
01:28:12,480 --> 01:28:14,960
Sure. Not going to happen.
I'll help you with that.
1116
01:28:16,440 --> 01:28:18,880
Look at me.
You were knitting something long.
1117
01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:20,640
What was that? A scarf?
-No.
1118
01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:24,160
It was a condom
for my dowry.
1119
01:28:24,280 --> 01:28:28,680
-What the hell is that?
-What is she saying?
1120
01:28:28,800 --> 01:28:32,440
You're crazy. Don't say that.
Come on, shank me.
1121
01:28:33,400 --> 01:28:35,360
What is this?
What the hell?
1122
01:28:39,520 --> 01:28:42,520
Brother, they have gone wild.
Let's run, man.
1123
01:28:44,640 --> 01:28:47,160
Come on! Bust the door!
1124
01:28:47,880 --> 01:28:52,120
Don't forget to take off your shoes
before going inside. Come on!
1125
01:28:57,320 --> 01:28:59,840
-Hitandrunis.
-Take care of that fella.
1126
01:29:03,520 --> 01:29:06,280
You go on.
I'll go and help Donutella.
1127
01:29:06,360 --> 01:29:07,480
Okay.
1128
01:29:08,000 --> 01:29:11,880
Get out of my way! Byzantine crows!
Get out of my way!
1129
01:29:17,800 --> 01:29:19,720
Hang in there, Donutella!
1130
01:29:20,640 --> 01:29:22,960
Brother, don't think about us.
She's fine here.
1131
01:29:23,040 --> 01:29:24,760
Go and help the Ghazi.
-How can I help?
1132
01:29:24,840 --> 01:29:26,400
I don't have a weapon.
Am I going to dance?
1133
01:29:26,440 --> 01:29:29,280
-Adonis, take this.
-What is it, dude?
1134
01:29:29,320 --> 01:29:32,320
My new invention. The glowing sword.
Just press the button.
1135
01:29:33,640 --> 01:29:34,920
What is this thing?
1136
01:29:39,920 --> 01:29:41,160
Wow.
1137
01:29:42,720 --> 01:29:43,960
Holy crap.
1138
01:30:00,600 --> 01:30:03,640
Ghazi Magosa.
Do you need help?
1139
01:30:03,680 --> 01:30:05,920
Come on, brother.
You're so lucky.
1140
01:30:11,520 --> 01:30:13,440
-Ghazi!
-Lady Gamma!
1141
01:30:13,520 --> 01:30:15,840
-Ghazi!
-Lady Gamma!
1142
01:30:15,880 --> 01:30:19,120
Ghazi. My love.
1143
01:30:19,560 --> 01:30:20,720
-My love.
-Honey.
1144
01:30:20,800 --> 01:30:21,880
My darling.
1145
01:30:21,920 --> 01:30:22,960
-My cheese.
-Inventaur!
1146
01:30:23,320 --> 01:30:25,640
You're going to be mine, Draftia!
1147
01:30:25,720 --> 01:30:27,200
Hitandrunis, help!
1148
01:30:27,520 --> 01:30:28,800
That is Draftia's voice.
1149
01:30:28,880 --> 01:30:30,800
Informatus is taking me
to the tower.
1150
01:30:42,160 --> 01:30:45,600
-Come here.
-Let me go! Pervert!
1151
01:30:45,680 --> 01:30:48,360
Where are you taking me?
-Where do you think?
1152
01:30:48,480 --> 01:30:50,760
To our love shack, of course.
1153
01:30:52,160 --> 01:30:56,000
-Please. Let me go.
-I'll never let you go, Draftia.
1154
01:30:56,280 --> 01:31:00,320
First, you need to taste
the fifty shades of Informatus.
1155
01:31:01,440 --> 01:31:03,160
Hitandrunis, help!
1156
01:31:13,360 --> 01:31:15,160
Come on, Draftia.
1157
01:31:15,200 --> 01:31:17,200
I know you want it too.
-I don't!
1158
01:31:17,280 --> 01:31:18,760
Why don't you understand?
1159
01:31:18,840 --> 01:31:21,600
I don't want it.
-Nice.
1160
01:31:21,680 --> 01:31:24,120
When a woman says she doesn't want it,
that means she does.
1161
01:31:24,200 --> 01:31:26,720
Idiot!
I say I don't want it.
1162
01:31:26,800 --> 01:31:27,960
So you want it.
1163
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:31,520
Alright! Okay.
Come on, I want it.
1164
01:31:31,600 --> 01:31:34,880
See?
I knew you were crazy about me.
1165
01:31:37,920 --> 01:31:39,200
I knew it.
1166
01:31:41,880 --> 01:31:44,560
What's the hell?
How many layers does this dress have?
1167
01:31:46,840 --> 01:31:48,320
Hitandrunis, help!
1168
01:31:57,960 --> 01:32:01,600
And now... Everything is ready
for the fifty shades of Informatus.
1169
01:32:05,280 --> 01:32:07,360
Brother! Hitandrunis!
1170
01:32:08,200 --> 01:32:09,880
I'm going to catch you.
1171
01:32:13,320 --> 01:32:15,400
What the hell?
Will this climb ever end?
1172
01:32:15,480 --> 01:32:16,720
I should tell Inventaur.
1173
01:32:16,800 --> 01:32:20,160
He should make an invention to
easily climb high places like this.
1174
01:32:23,600 --> 01:32:26,080
Let me go!
Hitandrunis, help!
1175
01:32:28,320 --> 01:32:29,920
Draftia!
Hang in there!
1176
01:32:38,520 --> 01:32:40,880
What the...
-Hitandrunis!
1177
01:32:42,720 --> 01:32:44,720
Hitandrunis, help me!
1178
01:32:46,880 --> 01:32:49,560
Hitandrunis, help!
1179
01:32:51,200 --> 01:32:53,960
Damn it. Wrong tower.
1180
01:32:55,120 --> 01:32:59,520
I'll be there in five.
In half an hour tops.
1181
01:32:59,600 --> 01:33:01,920
-Did he say half an hour?
-Don't worry, Draftia.
1182
01:33:02,000 --> 01:33:06,120
We will be finished in 10 minutes.
I'm not a Mayan guy, after all.
1183
01:33:10,600 --> 01:33:12,840
What is this?
Have some respect for privacy!
1184
01:33:12,960 --> 01:33:14,720
Oh, God.
-What do you mean by that?
1185
01:33:14,800 --> 01:33:16,400
How can you do this to your princess?
1186
01:33:16,480 --> 01:33:17,960
Prick!
-What should I have done?
1187
01:33:18,040 --> 01:33:20,640
Should I go to another country
for a princess fantasy?
1188
01:33:21,600 --> 01:33:23,320
Brother, be careful.
He has a whip.
1189
01:33:28,960 --> 01:33:30,640
Draftia! I'm here!
1190
01:33:32,000 --> 01:33:34,280
-Hitandrunis.
-Draftia.
1191
01:33:34,360 --> 01:33:37,960
It's not a love shack,
but a subway station. What the hell?
1192
01:33:38,040 --> 01:33:41,080
Take the girl and leave now.
Or I'll kill Adonis.
1193
01:33:41,600 --> 01:33:44,080
Wait. Don't take the girl.
Take Adonis and leave.
1194
01:33:44,160 --> 01:33:45,400
I need the girl.
1195
01:33:46,440 --> 01:33:48,960
The girl should stay.
-Or else?
1196
01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:51,160
What else, I'll kill Adonis.
1197
01:33:53,640 --> 01:33:57,040
Shit. I let Adonis go.
I have no hostages.
1198
01:33:57,120 --> 01:34:00,400
Brother, it's for the best
that I put this down.
1199
01:34:00,480 --> 01:34:04,360
Someone might get stabbed accidentally.
We wouldn't want that.
1200
01:34:04,440 --> 01:34:07,680
Sister. You're okay, right?
There's no problem, right?
1201
01:34:07,760 --> 01:34:10,680
No. You are my sister.
1202
01:34:10,760 --> 01:34:12,000
She's like a sister to me.
1203
01:34:12,600 --> 01:34:16,400
I'll take you to places that
even kids cannot reach.
1204
01:34:16,600 --> 01:34:20,480
-Take me.
-No one can find us in here.
1205
01:34:20,960 --> 01:34:23,040
This is the black room of the palace.
1206
01:34:28,320 --> 01:34:30,040
Passionius, I don't want to die.
1207
01:34:30,120 --> 01:34:33,160
I have so many more
R-rated days to live.
1208
01:34:36,000 --> 01:34:38,680
-When you say R-rated...
-When I say...
1209
01:34:42,440 --> 01:34:43,560
Holy shit!
1210
01:34:50,520 --> 01:34:55,040
Tribe leader Ghazi Magosa!
All the Byzantines surrendered.
1211
01:34:55,120 --> 01:34:56,440
The Byzantine has fallen.
1212
01:35:01,360 --> 01:35:04,520
-Mother, father. Are you okay?
-I'm okay, Donutella.
1213
01:35:04,600 --> 01:35:09,720
Now that we saved our women,
we'd better leave, Adonis.
1214
01:35:09,800 --> 01:35:11,840
What do you mean?
Where will you go?
1215
01:35:11,920 --> 01:35:14,000
What about The Byzantine?
-What do you mean?
1216
01:35:14,080 --> 01:35:16,920
You'll take over the throne.
You're going to rule bravely. That's it.
1217
01:35:17,000 --> 01:35:20,440
You fought long and hard.
Why don't you conquer the place?
1218
01:35:22,840 --> 01:35:26,960
You can change its name. It can be
"Istanbul" or something like that.
1219
01:35:27,040 --> 01:35:28,600
No way.
This place is not good for us.
1220
01:35:28,680 --> 01:35:31,000
I don't want to stay another minute.
It's too crowded.
1221
01:35:31,080 --> 01:35:34,120
-And it's too humid.
-Exactly.
1222
01:35:34,880 --> 01:35:37,840
Fine.
It was just an offer.
1223
01:35:39,520 --> 01:35:45,400
Dear father. I brought Clitoria,
Passionius and Informatus.
1224
01:35:45,480 --> 01:35:46,960
What are we going to do with them?
1225
01:35:47,040 --> 01:35:49,600
Feed Clitoria and Passionius
to the dogs.
1226
01:35:49,720 --> 01:35:52,360
Let's take Informatus with us.
On our way,...
1227
01:35:52,440 --> 01:35:55,120
...we can leave him to the
sodomists' tribe.
1228
01:35:56,840 --> 01:36:00,000
No. You can't do this to me.
You can't do this!
1229
01:36:00,040 --> 01:36:02,200
No? Good.
1230
01:36:02,240 --> 01:36:04,920
If a rapist says "no", it means "yes".
1231
01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:06,080
Take this pervert.
1232
01:36:06,800 --> 01:36:09,640
And give him something pink to wear.
We wouldn't want him to be cold.
1233
01:36:12,960 --> 01:36:14,800
-Come on, let's go.
-Come on.
1234
01:36:17,480 --> 01:36:19,120
Ghazi.
Shall we have tea in the palace?
1235
01:36:19,200 --> 01:36:20,160
Of course.
1236
01:36:23,040 --> 01:36:24,280
Brewed or in a bag?
1237
01:36:25,120 --> 01:36:29,160
For better, for worse.
In sickness and in health.
1238
01:36:29,280 --> 01:36:31,680
At home and away.
1239
01:36:31,760 --> 01:36:34,720
Do you take them to be
your wedded spouses?
1240
01:36:34,840 --> 01:36:35,800
We do.
1241
01:36:35,880 --> 01:36:38,000
-What?
-We do!
1242
01:36:41,080 --> 01:36:44,160
-Girls, what about you?
-We do!
1243
01:36:46,360 --> 01:36:50,200
So, by the power vested in me
by myself,...
1244
01:36:50,280 --> 01:36:52,400
...I pronounce you man and wife.
1245
01:36:53,960 --> 01:36:55,600
Kiss the brides.
1246
01:37:21,320 --> 01:37:22,920
Okay.
You've gone too far.
1247
01:37:25,600 --> 01:37:28,480
Orchestra!
Rock it!
1248
01:37:43,840 --> 01:37:47,520
I heard that while we were gone,
the Matryoshkas came to the village.
1249
01:37:47,560 --> 01:37:54,400
-The Matryoshkas? Yes.
-Why were they here? What for?
1250
01:37:54,520 --> 01:37:57,880
They came to ask if we needed help.
God bless them.
1251
01:37:57,920 --> 01:38:00,040
What do you mean by help?
1252
01:38:00,120 --> 01:38:04,320
Cooking, laundry... That's all.
Cleaning and stuff.
1253
01:38:04,400 --> 01:38:07,520
So, nothing happened between you
and the Matryoshkas?
1254
01:38:07,600 --> 01:38:09,600
With the Matryoshkas?
Nope.
1255
01:38:10,560 --> 01:38:12,600
-Maybe you slipped up and...
-Never.
1256
01:38:12,680 --> 01:38:14,720
We didn't even look at them.
1257
01:38:14,800 --> 01:38:18,640
Faithfulness is a national sport
for Mayan men.
1258
01:38:18,720 --> 01:38:22,600
We sent them back
without even touching them.