1
00:00:27,677 --> 00:00:31,021
Life is like a parody
of your favorite song.
2
00:00:31,159 --> 00:00:33,746
Just when you think
you know all the words,
3
00:00:33,883 --> 00:00:38,159
surprise, you don't
know anything.
4
00:00:43,401 --> 00:00:45,332
Clear the way, clear the way!
5
00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:46,608
Clear!
6
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:48,125
Shut that door, please!
7
00:00:54,435 --> 00:00:55,401
Clear!
8
00:00:58,814 --> 00:01:01,194
Dammit. Dammit!
9
00:01:04,608 --> 00:01:06,263
All right, nurse, let's call it.
10
00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:10,090
Time of death: 7:30--
11
00:01:12,332 --> 00:01:14,952
Quick!
12
00:01:15,090 --> 00:01:17,366
I need some paper,
and a number two pencil.
13
00:01:17,504 --> 00:01:20,608
But... maybe I'm getting
a little ahead of myself.
14
00:01:25,539 --> 00:01:28,435
Why don't we start
back at the beginning.
15
00:01:30,642 --> 00:01:33,746
All gabardine
suits are now 30% off.
16
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,504
Jenkins in to the windup,
17
00:01:37,642 --> 00:01:39,677
and the three-two fastball
is in the--
18
00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:43,263
President Nixon
is on board Air--
19
00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:49,642
♪ Dr. Demento, Dr. Demento ♪
20
00:01:49,779 --> 00:01:54,401
Whoo-whoo-whoo,
wind up your radio!
21
00:01:54,539 --> 00:01:57,918
It's time for
The Dr. Demento Show,
22
00:01:58,056 --> 00:02:03,435
two hours of mad music
and crazy comedy
23
00:02:03,573 --> 00:02:06,297
- from out of the archives...
- Alfy!
24
00:02:06,435 --> 00:02:08,849
What have we told you
about listening to that garbage?
25
00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:10,918
But Mom, it's Dr. Demento.
26
00:02:11,056 --> 00:02:12,745
It's my favorite show
in the whole world.
27
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,470
It's going to rot your brain.
28
00:02:14,608 --> 00:02:16,297
You're lucky your father wasn't
here to catch you, mister.
29
00:02:16,435 --> 00:02:18,711
You know how he feels
about that kind of music.
30
00:02:18,849 --> 00:02:20,849
Yes, I know.
31
00:02:24,159 --> 00:02:27,779
All right. Now go on,
go get washed up.
32
00:02:27,918 --> 00:02:30,056
Dinner will be ready
in a few minutes.
33
00:03:11,194 --> 00:03:14,056
Alfy, aren't you going to ask
your father how his day was?
34
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,159
Um, how was your day, Dad?
35
00:03:19,539 --> 00:03:22,263
What, how was my day?
36
00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:24,676
We had another fatality
down at the factory.
37
00:03:24,814 --> 00:03:26,539
Oh, God, real grisly
one this time.
38
00:03:26,676 --> 00:03:29,228
It was that McKinley kid
that started last week.
39
00:03:29,366 --> 00:03:31,228
I kept telling him
to stop messing around
40
00:03:31,366 --> 00:03:35,159
by that industrial shredder,
but he just wouldn't listen.
41
00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,090
I would've reached
out and grabbed him,
42
00:03:37,228 --> 00:03:41,021
but I already lost one hand
to that cursed machine.
43
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,814
Well, anyway, there's an opening
down on the factory floor.
44
00:03:45,952 --> 00:03:47,504
Maybe I could pull a few strings
45
00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:49,539
and you could spend the summer
working with your old man.
46
00:03:49,676 --> 00:03:51,228
How's that sound?
47
00:03:51,366 --> 00:03:53,297
Um, no thank you.
48
00:03:53,435 --> 00:03:54,814
"No, thank you."
49
00:03:54,952 --> 00:03:56,539
Well, you're gonna have to learn
sooner or later,
50
00:03:56,676 --> 00:04:00,228
that factory, that factory
will make a man outta you.
51
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,401
But I don't wanna work
at the factory.
52
00:04:02,539 --> 00:04:03,952
I wanna make songs.
53
00:04:04,090 --> 00:04:09,194
What? You wanna make songs?
Did you hear that, Mary?
54
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,090
We got a regular Bing Crosby
on our hands, don't we?
55
00:04:12,228 --> 00:04:13,814
Nick, you're embarrassing him.
56
00:04:13,952 --> 00:04:17,125
Oh, am I? Why don't you sing
us a little ditty, Bing, huh?
57
00:04:17,263 --> 00:04:20,090
Such a little songbird.
Sing one for us.
58
00:04:24,987 --> 00:04:28,849
♪ Amazing grapes ♪
59
00:04:28,987 --> 00:04:32,228
♪ How sweet the juice ♪
60
00:04:32,366 --> 00:04:36,849
♪ It tastes so good to me... ♪
61
00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:40,125
Stop, stop! What in God's name
are you doing?
62
00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:41,987
Those aren't the right words.
63
00:04:42,125 --> 00:04:44,779
I know. I made 'em better.
64
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,918
By changing the lyrics
to a well-known song?
65
00:04:48,056 --> 00:04:51,090
No, boy, what you're doing
is confusing and evil.
66
00:04:51,228 --> 00:04:52,779
My God, and I will not have
67
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:55,332
that kind of blasphemy
in my own home.
68
00:04:55,470 --> 00:04:56,814
But Dad...
69
00:04:56,952 --> 00:04:59,056
What has gotten
into you, Alfred?
70
00:04:59,194 --> 00:05:01,641
Hmm? With the songs
and the crazy magazines?
71
00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:04,676
That is all gonna stop now,
young man!
72
00:05:04,814 --> 00:05:06,366
Honey, I know it's
hard to hear this,
73
00:05:06,504 --> 00:05:10,125
but your dad and I
had a long talk
74
00:05:10,263 --> 00:05:13,297
and we agreed it would be best
for all of us
75
00:05:13,435 --> 00:05:16,056
if you would just stop
being who you are
76
00:05:16,194 --> 00:05:18,125
and doing the things you love.
77
00:05:19,538 --> 00:05:21,710
You don't understand me!
78
00:05:28,849 --> 00:05:30,435
It was a few weeks later
79
00:05:30,572 --> 00:05:32,745
when a mysterious stranger
showed up at my door
80
00:05:32,883 --> 00:05:36,745
and changed my life forever.
81
00:05:38,779 --> 00:05:40,710
Alfy, get the door.
82
00:05:42,814 --> 00:05:44,228
Why, good afternoon, sir.
83
00:05:44,366 --> 00:05:45,883
The gentleman of the house,
I take it?
84
00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,470
Well, congratulations.
Today is your lucky day.
85
00:05:48,607 --> 00:05:52,056
How would you like to be
the envy of all of your friends
86
00:05:52,194 --> 00:05:54,021
and the most popular
fellow in town?
87
00:05:54,159 --> 00:05:56,607
Well, everything you
need to make that happen...
88
00:05:56,745 --> 00:05:58,883
is right here in this box.
89
00:06:02,021 --> 00:06:05,125
Um, my dad is actually...
90
00:06:05,263 --> 00:06:07,883
- Voila.
91
00:06:08,021 --> 00:06:09,779
Feast your eyes.
92
00:06:11,263 --> 00:06:17,263
Have you ever seen
such a gorgeous instrument?
93
00:06:19,918 --> 00:06:22,918
Better yet, try it on.
94
00:06:26,297 --> 00:06:28,090
Son, when you play
the accordion,
95
00:06:28,228 --> 00:06:30,125
you are a one-man band.
96
00:06:30,263 --> 00:06:33,710
You are the life of every party.
97
00:06:33,849 --> 00:06:36,676
Go ahead, son,
tickle those ivories.
98
00:06:42,676 --> 00:06:44,263
A natural talent.
99
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:47,849
Son, you cannot squander that.
100
00:06:47,987 --> 00:06:50,469
You have got to buy this beauty,
and I guarantee it,
101
00:06:50,607 --> 00:06:53,056
you are gonna have girls
lined up around the corner.
102
00:06:53,194 --> 00:06:54,607
You're gonna need a lifeguard
103
00:06:54,745 --> 00:06:57,366
because you're gonna be
drowning in so much p--
104
00:06:57,503 --> 00:06:59,918
Hey! What's going on?
105
00:07:00,056 --> 00:07:02,056
And hello to you, sir.
106
00:07:02,194 --> 00:07:04,090
What are you doing in my house?
107
00:07:04,228 --> 00:07:06,056
And why is my
innocent young child
108
00:07:06,194 --> 00:07:07,883
wearing that
devil's squeeze box?
109
00:07:08,021 --> 00:07:09,056
That's actually our newest--
110
00:07:09,194 --> 00:07:10,814
I thought I told you to shut up!
111
00:07:13,263 --> 00:07:15,228
I don't remember you telling me
to shut up before,
112
00:07:15,366 --> 00:07:17,538
but if you're telling me now,
I will gladly--
113
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,710
Dad!
114
00:07:23,849 --> 00:07:26,745
- Ah!
115
00:07:30,641 --> 00:07:32,814
Dad, stop! You're killing him!
116
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,021
Nick? Oh Nick, oh Nick!
117
00:07:35,159 --> 00:07:38,503
No, Nick! Hey!
Nicky, stop it right now!
118
00:07:38,641 --> 00:07:40,332
You made me do this, boy.
119
00:07:40,469 --> 00:07:42,332
You brought this evil
into the house.
120
00:07:42,469 --> 00:07:43,263
And now look at you.
121
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,849
Look at you.
122
00:07:44,987 --> 00:07:49,228
Take that devilish monstrosity
off this very instant.
123
00:07:49,366 --> 00:07:51,434
I don't wanna see you
ever wearing it again!
124
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,021
Nick, why don't you go
take a little walk?
125
00:07:54,159 --> 00:07:55,987
I think you'd better cool off.
126
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:58,641
- Yeah. Yeah.
127
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:02,918
I could use some fresh air
because it stinks in here.
128
00:08:12,469 --> 00:08:15,745
I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere.
129
00:08:15,883 --> 00:08:20,400
I'll be right here.
130
00:08:22,607 --> 00:08:24,090
Mister, I'm so sorry about this.
131
00:08:24,228 --> 00:08:26,952
My husband, he just has
a little bit of a temper,
132
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,159
but he is a good man
and he means well,
133
00:08:29,297 --> 00:08:32,849
but anyway,
if you're amenable to it,
134
00:08:32,987 --> 00:08:35,676
we'd like to buy that accordion.
135
00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,503
Mom! You mean it?
136
00:08:37,641 --> 00:08:39,918
How do you feel about
an early Christmas present?
137
00:08:40,056 --> 00:08:42,676
Yes! This is
the best thing ever!
138
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,814
Thank you so much!
139
00:08:46,228 --> 00:08:47,849
There's just one thing.
140
00:08:51,503 --> 00:08:56,987
No one can see you playing it,
especially your father.
141
00:08:57,125 --> 00:09:00,400
This is our secret.
Do you understand me?
142
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:07,710
Mom... does Dad hate me?
143
00:09:07,849 --> 00:09:11,883
No, of course not, sweetie.
144
00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:15,365
Then why is he always
so hard on me?
145
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,365
Listen, you're too young
to understand now,
146
00:09:19,503 --> 00:09:23,503
but just trust me,
your father has his reasons.
147
00:09:23,641 --> 00:09:27,434
I think
I have a collapsed lung.
148
00:09:27,572 --> 00:09:32,021
We're trying to have
a conversation here, sir.
149
00:09:32,159 --> 00:09:34,572
For the next few years,
I kept to myself
150
00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:37,090
and tried my best
to please Mom and Dad,
151
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:41,090
but deep down,
I felt like I was living a lie.
152
00:09:41,228 --> 00:09:44,056
Sure. I was well-behaved,
I got good grades,
153
00:09:44,194 --> 00:09:48,194
but I never let anyone know
the real me.
154
00:09:48,331 --> 00:09:52,228
Hey, Yankovic, you going to that
party at Hofstadter's tonight?
155
00:09:52,365 --> 00:09:55,814
- His parents are out of town.
- Ah, geez, guys, I don't know.
156
00:09:55,952 --> 00:09:57,918
I'm not really allowed
to go to parties.
157
00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,676
You don't need to have
your parents' permission.
158
00:09:59,814 --> 00:10:00,779
Just sneak out.
159
00:10:00,918 --> 00:10:02,503
I-I don't think I can.
160
00:10:02,641 --> 00:10:04,779
My mom always tucks me in,
in case I have night terrors.
161
00:10:04,918 --> 00:10:06,469
You have night terrors?
162
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,607
No, I--You know, just in case.
163
00:10:08,745 --> 00:10:11,538
Well, just use a hay boy, then.
164
00:10:11,676 --> 00:10:13,952
A hay boy? What's that?
165
00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:15,365
You don't know
what a hay boy is?
166
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,572
Oh, dude, you've got
a lot to learn.
167
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:22,365
Just let us handle everything.
We'll pick you up tonight.
168
00:10:24,262 --> 00:10:25,331
Okay, yeah.
169
00:10:27,952 --> 00:10:29,331
Night-night, Alfy.
170
00:10:29,469 --> 00:10:32,194
Don't let the bed bugs
give you night terrors.
171
00:10:50,056 --> 00:10:52,469
I mean, Myron Floren
is great and all,
172
00:10:52,607 --> 00:10:53,779
Lawrence Welk sure likes him,
173
00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:56,745
but he's way too overexposed.
174
00:10:56,883 --> 00:11:00,365
For my money,
it's Whoopee John Wilfahrt
175
00:11:00,503 --> 00:11:03,193
that really gets me just
hoppin' and steppin'.
176
00:11:03,331 --> 00:11:06,193
I'm all about that
Minnesota sound, man.
177
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:09,262
- Look what I found!
- Hey, hey!
178
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,607
Hey, you didn't tell me that
this was gonna be a polka party.
179
00:11:11,745 --> 00:11:14,607
- What, do you not like polka?
- No, I like it, it's--
180
00:11:14,745 --> 00:11:17,779
My parents would kill me
if they knew I was here, okay?
181
00:11:17,918 --> 00:11:19,296
I'm so, so sorry, guys.
182
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:20,952
I-I-I gotta go.
I can't--I can't be here, man.
183
00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:23,021
Come on, Al. Live a little!
184
00:11:23,159 --> 00:11:24,434
What's the worst
that could happen?
185
00:11:24,572 --> 00:11:26,021
You might actually
let your guard down
186
00:11:26,159 --> 00:11:27,883
and enjoy your life for once?
187
00:11:33,262 --> 00:11:36,469
Yeah, yeah, I can...
let my guard down.
188
00:11:41,296 --> 00:11:44,262
Hey... and sorry.
189
00:11:46,952 --> 00:11:50,607
Hey, everybody,
look what I found!
190
00:11:52,883 --> 00:11:55,262
Dude, pass it here. Pass it.
191
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:03,710
- Okay, dude. Okay.
192
00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:05,090
Al, here. You gotta try this.
193
00:12:05,227 --> 00:12:07,021
Oh, no. No, no, thanks.
I'm good.
194
00:12:07,158 --> 00:12:08,503
Al's afraid his mommy and daddy
195
00:12:08,641 --> 00:12:10,607
are gonna find out
he tried an accordion.
196
00:12:12,469 --> 00:12:14,918
I just don't wanna play, okay?
Just, just lay off me, man!
197
00:12:17,607 --> 00:12:19,745
No, guys--
198
00:12:19,883 --> 00:12:21,849
- I'm not gonna--
199
00:12:26,676 --> 00:12:29,365
I'm not--I'm not--I'm not--
200
00:12:31,676 --> 00:12:35,158
Okay. Yeah, sure.
I'll play, yeah.
201
00:13:18,296 --> 00:13:21,296
- It's the cops! Everyone, run!
202
00:13:27,918 --> 00:13:29,987
I'm sorry to disturb you, ma'am,
203
00:13:30,124 --> 00:13:34,572
but I'm afraid we found your son
at a polka party.
204
00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:36,572
He was playing an accordion.
205
00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:39,296
That's impossible. Alfy's in--
206
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:43,676
A hay boy?! Really?
207
00:13:43,814 --> 00:13:46,469
What did I do to deserve this,
huh? Huh?
208
00:13:46,607 --> 00:13:48,779
It's like I don't even
know you anymore, Al.
209
00:13:48,918 --> 00:13:50,227
You want me to be like you.
210
00:13:50,365 --> 00:13:51,814
Look at me,
I'm nothing like you.
211
00:13:51,952 --> 00:13:53,331
You want me to work
that factory.
212
00:13:53,469 --> 00:13:55,849
Okay, I don't even know
what you make down there.
213
00:13:55,987 --> 00:13:57,331
You just call it the factory.
214
00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:59,158
You will find out what
we make at the factory
215
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,814
when you work at the factory!
216
00:14:00,952 --> 00:14:04,469
Well, it's my life,
and I wanna make music
217
00:14:04,607 --> 00:14:06,227
and I wanna play the accordion.
218
00:14:06,365 --> 00:14:07,641
Ah, hogwash!
219
00:14:07,779 --> 00:14:12,020
And I'm good. I'm really,
really good!
220
00:14:12,158 --> 00:14:15,055
How did you get good at
playing the accordion, huh? Huh?
221
00:14:15,193 --> 00:14:17,193
It certainly wasn't
under my roof, was it?
222
00:14:17,331 --> 00:14:19,987
What'd you do, sneak out
and practice in the woods
223
00:14:20,124 --> 00:14:21,572
in the middle of the night?
224
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:25,952
No. I played it here, quietly.
225
00:14:27,572 --> 00:14:29,400
Yeah, I play in the closet.
226
00:14:31,296 --> 00:14:34,400
But I'm not a closet
accordion player anymore.
227
00:14:34,538 --> 00:14:36,296
It feels good!
228
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,193
The closet, you say?
229
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:46,918
Hmm...
230
00:14:47,055 --> 00:14:49,193
No-no-no. Dad, Dad, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, Dad.
231
00:14:49,331 --> 00:14:51,262
No-no-no. You're not going--
It's not in there.
232
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,158
You're not gonna find
anything in there.
233
00:14:53,296 --> 00:14:54,986
Dad, what are you doing?
No, no, Dad--No-no-no-no--
234
00:14:55,124 --> 00:14:56,641
Dad, no. Dad, please.
235
00:14:56,779 --> 00:14:57,745
- Uh-huh?
- Stop, stop.
236
00:14:57,883 --> 00:14:59,538
- Boy.
- Stop. Stop it.
237
00:14:59,676 --> 00:15:02,055
- Boy, this...
- Please, Dad. Please! No-no-no!
238
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,641
This is for your own good, boy.
239
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:05,572
No, I need this, I need this--
240
00:15:10,124 --> 00:15:11,849
No!
241
00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:15,951
No, no, no, no, no!
242
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:19,020
You--You think you're
gonna stop me from playing?
243
00:15:19,158 --> 00:15:21,365
You'll see.
One day I'm gonna be the best--
244
00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:24,055
Well, perhaps not technically
the best,
245
00:15:24,193 --> 00:15:27,331
but arguably the most
famous accordion player
246
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:30,676
in an extremely specific
genre of music.
247
00:15:30,814 --> 00:15:32,227
I'll show you.
248
00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:35,089
I'll show everybody!
249
00:15:35,951 --> 00:15:37,296
Get out!
250
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:41,883
- Good riddance!
251
00:15:48,779 --> 00:15:52,469
Things at home never
got any better after that.
252
00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:55,124
But within a few years,
I graduated
253
00:15:55,262 --> 00:15:58,365
and I was able to move out
and live on my own.
254
00:15:58,503 --> 00:16:01,331
Well, with three other guys
in a dirt-cheap apartment,
255
00:16:01,469 --> 00:16:05,434
but the point is, I didn't
have to answer to anybody.
256
00:16:05,572 --> 00:16:07,262
- Hey, hey.
- Howdy.
257
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,641
Now I'd have a chance
to find others
258
00:16:09,779 --> 00:16:12,365
who would truly understand me.
259
00:16:12,503 --> 00:16:15,503
I could find my people.
260
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,124
♪ Beat on the brat
Beat on the brat ♪
261
00:16:22,262 --> 00:16:24,296
♪ Beat on the brat
With a baseball bat ♪
262
00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:27,469
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh-ho ♪
263
00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:32,503
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh-ho ♪
264
00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:33,986
- Okay.
- ♪ Hey! ♪
265
00:16:34,124 --> 00:16:36,745
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪
266
00:16:36,882 --> 00:16:40,020
- Okay, that's enough. Thanks.
- Mm.
267
00:16:40,158 --> 00:16:44,227
Yeah. Very... very interesting.
268
00:16:44,365 --> 00:16:47,365
So... we'll let you know, okay?
269
00:16:47,503 --> 00:16:51,814
Great. Um, when?
270
00:16:51,951 --> 00:16:54,089
Right now. You didn't make it.
271
00:17:00,434 --> 00:17:02,158
This sucks.
272
00:17:02,296 --> 00:17:05,158
It's the fifth audition I've
been kicked out of this week.
273
00:17:05,296 --> 00:17:08,779
It's almost like nobody wants an
accordion player in their band.
274
00:17:08,917 --> 00:17:10,607
That just doesn't
make any sense.
275
00:17:10,745 --> 00:17:12,331
Yeah. Accordions are cool.
276
00:17:12,469 --> 00:17:14,641
That's the problem
with being on the bleeding edge.
277
00:17:14,779 --> 00:17:17,020
You gotta wait for the rest of
the world to catch up with you.
278
00:17:17,158 --> 00:17:19,158
I don't have time to wait.
279
00:17:19,296 --> 00:17:21,262
If nobody wants to have me
in their group,
280
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,262
I'm just gonna have
to go it on my own.
281
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,193
Don't worry,
it's gonna happen for you.
282
00:17:25,331 --> 00:17:27,296
You just gotta hang in there.
We got your back.
283
00:17:27,434 --> 00:17:30,538
Thanks, Bermuda. All you guys.
You've just been so great.
284
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:33,469
You really get me.
It is such a difference
285
00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:35,607
after living with my folks
for so long.
286
00:17:35,745 --> 00:17:37,917
Yeah. And you know, the best
part of moving away from home
287
00:17:38,055 --> 00:17:41,400
is you can do anything you want.
Hook up with girls...
288
00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:42,710
Get high all the time.
289
00:17:42,848 --> 00:17:44,710
Yeah, I mean, literally anything.
290
00:17:44,848 --> 00:17:46,020
There are no rules.
291
00:17:46,158 --> 00:17:47,607
Just last night,
I was driving
292
00:17:47,745 --> 00:17:50,089
down the wrong side of the 101
with my eyes closed,
293
00:17:50,227 --> 00:17:52,848
not knowing whether I was
gonna live to see another day
294
00:17:52,986 --> 00:17:56,572
or die in a horrible,
fiery wreck.
295
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:57,986
Suck on that, Mom and Dad.
296
00:17:58,124 --> 00:17:59,951
- Yeah. You get it, Steve.
- You go, Steve.
297
00:18:00,089 --> 00:18:01,400
Oh, wow, Steve.
298
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:02,882
What about you, Al?
299
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,572
What's something you always
wanted to do,
300
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:06,158
but you were never allowed to?
301
00:18:12,745 --> 00:18:16,124
Make up new words
to a song that already exists.
302
00:18:19,055 --> 00:18:21,503
Oh, well, you should
do that, then.
303
00:18:21,641 --> 00:18:22,882
Absolutely.
304
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,400
Yeah. Why don't you
do it right now?
305
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:25,951
Go on.
Make up something brilliant.
306
00:18:26,089 --> 00:18:27,882
No, guys, it's not that easy.
307
00:18:28,020 --> 00:18:30,262
I gotta wait
for inspiration to strike,
308
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,503
and I'm pretty sure that well
dried up a long time ago.
309
00:18:33,641 --> 00:18:35,813
Oh, well, if you're not
gonna write us a song,
310
00:18:35,951 --> 00:18:37,572
why don't you make us
some sandwiches?
311
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:39,917
Oh, yeah, dude, I'm starving.
312
00:18:40,055 --> 00:18:43,193
Sandwich! Sandwich! Sandwich!
313
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,744
Okay, okay, okay.
Guys, I'm on it.
314
00:18:45,882 --> 00:18:47,158
Jim, you wanna put on
some tunes?
315
00:18:47,296 --> 00:18:48,331
Yeah.
316
00:19:00,951 --> 00:19:03,503
Oh, Steve? This bologna
has your name on it.
317
00:19:03,641 --> 00:19:04,917
- Can we?
- Uh, yeah, sure.
318
00:19:05,055 --> 00:19:07,193
Just open up a package
of my bologna.
319
00:19:07,331 --> 00:19:10,538
♪ Ooh, you make my motor run
My motor run ♪
320
00:19:10,676 --> 00:19:13,641
♪ Gun it comin'
Off of the line, Sharona ♪
321
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:17,193
♪ Never gonna stop, give it up
Such a dirty mind ♪
322
00:19:17,331 --> 00:19:20,641
♪ I always get it up for
The touch of the younger kind ♪
323
00:19:20,778 --> 00:19:26,813
♪ My, my, my-yi-yi, whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharona ♪
324
00:19:26,951 --> 00:19:30,158
♪ Whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharona ♪
325
00:19:30,296 --> 00:19:34,020
♪ Whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharona, whoo! ♪
326
00:19:34,158 --> 00:19:37,709
Is this DJ asleep?
The record keeps skipping.
327
00:19:37,848 --> 00:19:40,124
Hey! Wake up.
328
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,917
♪ Whoo!
M-M-M-My Sharona, whoo! ♪
329
00:19:44,055 --> 00:19:46,538
- ♪ M-M-M-My Sharona ♪
- ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
330
00:19:46,675 --> 00:19:50,227
- ♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
- ♪ Whoo! M-M-M-My Sharona ♪
331
00:19:52,813 --> 00:19:54,089
Al?
332
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,848
♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
333
00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:02,193
♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
334
00:20:04,262 --> 00:20:05,227
You okay?
335
00:20:14,262 --> 00:20:17,055
♪ Ooh, my little hungry one
Hungry one ♪
336
00:20:17,193 --> 00:20:21,331
♪ Open up a package
Of my bologna ♪
337
00:20:26,296 --> 00:20:27,882
♪ Ooh, I think the toast
Is done ♪
338
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,434
♪ The toast is done ♪
339
00:20:29,572 --> 00:20:33,158
♪ Top it with a little
Of my bologna ♪
340
00:20:36,917 --> 00:20:38,434
Where did that come from?
341
00:20:38,572 --> 00:20:39,848
Dude, I've got chills.
342
00:20:39,986 --> 00:20:41,538
I don't know, it just
came out of me.
343
00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:44,503
I've never heard anything
like that before in my life.
344
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,744
You have to record that.
345
00:20:45,882 --> 00:20:47,469
Record it? No, come on, guys.
346
00:20:47,606 --> 00:20:49,331
Al, you've got something here.
347
00:20:49,469 --> 00:20:53,124
I don't know if it comes
from God or the devil,
348
00:20:53,262 --> 00:20:55,227
but the world needs to hear it.
349
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,778
No, forget it, guys.
350
00:20:57,917 --> 00:20:59,227
I don't have the money
for a recording studio.
351
00:20:59,365 --> 00:21:01,675
I think the bathroom
at the bus station
352
00:21:01,813 --> 00:21:03,675
has pretty good acoustics.
353
00:21:06,606 --> 00:21:09,848
Yeah, sounds good in here.
354
00:21:09,986 --> 00:21:12,400
You can put it right there,
that works.
355
00:21:14,262 --> 00:21:17,089
♪ Ooh, my little hungry one
Hungry one ♪
356
00:21:17,227 --> 00:21:19,571
♪ Open up a package
Of my bologna ♪
357
00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:21,193
♪ Ooh, I think the toast
Is done ♪
358
00:21:21,331 --> 00:21:23,055
♪ The toast is done ♪
359
00:21:23,193 --> 00:21:25,503
♪ Top it with a little
Of my bologna ♪
360
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,331
♪ Never gonna stop, eat it up ♪
361
00:21:27,469 --> 00:21:29,262
♪ Such a tasty snack
I always eat too much ♪
362
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,744
♪ And throw up
But I'll soon be back ♪
363
00:21:30,882 --> 00:21:34,262
♪ For my my my-yi-yi, whoo! ♪
364
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:39,848
♪ M-M-M-My bologna
M-m-m-my bologna, hey! ♪
365
00:22:00,606 --> 00:22:02,365
All right.
366
00:22:02,503 --> 00:22:05,675
Just mailed the tape
off to Captain Buffoon.
367
00:22:05,813 --> 00:22:07,089
Now, I guess, all I gotta do is
368
00:22:07,227 --> 00:22:10,158
sit back and wait
to become famous.
369
00:22:10,296 --> 00:22:13,296
Yeah, I don't think
that's quite how it works, Al.
370
00:22:13,434 --> 00:22:16,537
Nobody becomes famous overnight.
That's a myth.
371
00:22:16,675 --> 00:22:18,675
Sometimes it takes years,
372
00:22:18,813 --> 00:22:20,675
decades of hard work
to get noticed.
373
00:22:20,813 --> 00:22:22,848
- What?
- Look, I believe in you.
374
00:22:22,986 --> 00:22:24,778
I know it's gonna
happen for you someday,
375
00:22:24,917 --> 00:22:27,331
but you can't just mail your
tape off to some disc jockey
376
00:22:27,469 --> 00:22:29,571
and expect to instantly
become a sensation.
377
00:22:29,709 --> 00:22:31,917
Man, why can't I catch a break?
378
00:22:34,469 --> 00:22:36,882
Captain
Buffoon on your radio dial.
379
00:22:37,020 --> 00:22:38,848
No, I'm not making this up--
380
00:22:38,986 --> 00:22:41,262
I just received this tape
in the mail a few minutes ago,
381
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,640
and what can I say?
It's an instant sensation!
382
00:22:44,778 --> 00:22:46,055
It's already the number one
383
00:22:46,193 --> 00:22:47,848
most-requested song
of the week,
384
00:22:47,986 --> 00:22:49,709
and we're playing
it all day long.
385
00:22:49,848 --> 00:22:54,193
So, here it is, once again,
Al Yankovic with My Bologna!
386
00:22:59,296 --> 00:23:03,675
- Again!
387
00:23:03,813 --> 00:23:06,571
♪ Ooh, my little hungry one
Hungry one ♪
388
00:23:06,709 --> 00:23:08,124
♪ Open up a package... ♪
389
00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:09,813
You know what this means, right?
390
00:23:09,951 --> 00:23:12,296
You gotta get yourself
a record deal.
391
00:23:14,813 --> 00:23:17,020
♪ Never gonna stop, eat it up ♪
392
00:23:17,158 --> 00:23:18,951
♪ Such a tasty snack
I always eat too much ♪
393
00:23:19,089 --> 00:23:20,606
♪ And throw up
But I'll soon be back ♪
394
00:23:20,744 --> 00:23:23,882
♪ For my, my, my-yi-yi, whoo! ♪
395
00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:26,640
♪ M-M-M-My bologna ♪
396
00:23:26,778 --> 00:23:28,917
♪ M-M-M-My bologna, hey! ♪
397
00:23:44,571 --> 00:23:46,365
I've heard enough.
398
00:23:49,571 --> 00:23:51,917
And what did you think?
399
00:23:52,055 --> 00:23:55,331
Do you know why they call it
the "music business"?
400
00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:57,400
Uh, why?
401
00:23:57,537 --> 00:23:58,571
Because it's a business.
402
00:23:58,709 --> 00:23:59,917
It's a business!
403
00:24:00,055 --> 00:24:01,433
Use your head, kid.
404
00:24:01,571 --> 00:24:03,951
Nobody wants to hear
a parody song
405
00:24:04,089 --> 00:24:06,917
when they can hear the real
thing for the same price.
406
00:24:07,055 --> 00:24:08,537
What's the point?
407
00:24:08,675 --> 00:24:10,709
Yeah, it makes
no financial sense whatsoever.
408
00:24:10,848 --> 00:24:12,848
Uh, my-my-my song was actually
409
00:24:12,986 --> 00:24:14,675
a-a big hit on
The Captain Buffoon Show.
410
00:24:14,813 --> 00:24:16,675
- Oh!
- What?
411
00:24:16,813 --> 00:24:17,986
Captain Buffoon? Really?
412
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:19,571
- Yeah.
- Wait, wait.
413
00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:21,675
Captain Buffoon actually
played your song on the radio?
414
00:24:21,813 --> 00:24:23,158
Yeah.
415
00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:24,848
Why didn't you tell us?
This changes everything.
416
00:24:24,986 --> 00:24:26,502
Ben, get this young gentleman
a record contract
417
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,055
this very instant.
418
00:24:28,193 --> 00:24:30,606
We are gonna sign him
to a 14-album deal.
419
00:24:30,744 --> 00:24:31,917
Wait, really?
420
00:24:32,055 --> 00:24:34,433
No! What do you think I am,
an idiot?
421
00:24:34,571 --> 00:24:36,848
- He's not an idiot!
- I'm not an idiot!
422
00:24:36,986 --> 00:24:39,399
- If I may interject here.
- Please.
423
00:24:39,537 --> 00:24:41,296
Look, I'd just like to say
424
00:24:41,433 --> 00:24:43,468
that you got some nerve
coming in here
425
00:24:43,606 --> 00:24:48,193
and wasting my time
and my brother Tony's time.
426
00:24:48,331 --> 00:24:52,882
I'm gonna remember your name
because you, Al Yankovic,
427
00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:56,331
are the most untalented,
pathetic loser
428
00:24:56,468 --> 00:24:59,468
that I've ever met
in my entire life.
429
00:24:59,606 --> 00:25:01,193
Okay, um, maybe--
430
00:25:01,331 --> 00:25:06,571
You're nothing but a hack,
a stupid, useless parasite,
431
00:25:06,709 --> 00:25:09,640
- and you're so ugly.
- Okay...
432
00:25:09,778 --> 00:25:13,951
That ridiculous hair,
that horrible mustache,
433
00:25:14,089 --> 00:25:15,882
stupid glasses.
434
00:25:16,020 --> 00:25:17,364
You make me wanna throw up!
435
00:25:17,502 --> 00:25:19,055
All right, thank you.
Thank you, Ben.
436
00:25:19,193 --> 00:25:20,848
Thank you, Ben, for your,
for your thoughts.
437
00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:22,537
- Thank you.
- Jeez.
438
00:25:22,675 --> 00:25:24,330
- Ugh.
- Look, kid,
439
00:25:24,468 --> 00:25:28,537
if you really have your heart
set on doing this stupid music,
440
00:25:28,675 --> 00:25:30,502
maybe write more than one song.
441
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,813
Yeah, all the biggest
musical acts have more than
442
00:25:32,951 --> 00:25:34,675
one song in their catalog.
443
00:25:34,813 --> 00:25:36,124
That's very true.
444
00:25:36,262 --> 00:25:38,020
And also, get out
in front of a live audience.
445
00:25:38,158 --> 00:25:39,744
Any audience, any stage,
446
00:25:39,882 --> 00:25:42,917
just get out there, build up
your chops, and who knows?
447
00:25:43,055 --> 00:25:46,468
Maybe someday...
we'll talk again.
448
00:25:46,606 --> 00:25:49,640
But don't count on it
because you truly suck.
449
00:25:49,778 --> 00:25:50,744
Right.
450
00:25:50,882 --> 00:25:52,193
Okay.
451
00:25:52,330 --> 00:25:53,399
♪ One, two, three, four! ♪
452
00:25:59,848 --> 00:26:04,158
♪ Bowling with the devil! ♪
453
00:26:05,709 --> 00:26:08,640
Thank you! We are Skunk Barf!
454
00:26:08,778 --> 00:26:13,020
- You guys suck!
455
00:26:19,882 --> 00:26:22,986
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
456
00:26:23,124 --> 00:26:25,055
Just relax, you'll be great.
457
00:26:25,193 --> 00:26:26,882
Yeah, the new song's
a bona fide hit.
458
00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:28,744
It's about ice cream!
459
00:26:28,882 --> 00:26:30,537
Everybody likes ice cream.
460
00:26:30,675 --> 00:26:33,882
This seems like more of
a whiskey and... heroin crowd.
461
00:26:34,020 --> 00:26:35,882
Look, guys, I appreciate you
462
00:26:36,020 --> 00:26:37,778
being here for moral support
and everything,
463
00:26:37,917 --> 00:26:39,089
but they are
literally gonna kill me.
464
00:26:39,227 --> 00:26:40,571
We need to leave right now.
465
00:26:40,709 --> 00:26:42,124
Don't be silly, man.
They're gonna love you.
466
00:26:42,261 --> 00:26:43,917
All right, we got, uh,
most of the blood
467
00:26:44,055 --> 00:26:48,227
cleaned off the stage,
so you're on, now.
468
00:26:48,364 --> 00:26:52,193
- Go start the car.
- Nah, you got this, Al.
469
00:26:52,330 --> 00:26:54,848
This is your moment.
Go get 'em, champ.
470
00:26:54,986 --> 00:26:57,778
- Go get 'em.
471
00:27:04,882 --> 00:27:08,986
All right, all right,
who's ready for some more music?
472
00:27:11,020 --> 00:27:13,193
Okay, uh, coming next
to the stage,
473
00:27:13,330 --> 00:27:16,848
it's this guy's first time,
Al Yankovic.
474
00:27:21,330 --> 00:27:23,364
- Hey.
475
00:27:23,502 --> 00:27:24,744
Sorry.
476
00:27:26,295 --> 00:27:28,226
Sorry.
477
00:27:28,364 --> 00:27:31,261
Ah, nice Hawaiian shirt,
Trapper John!
478
00:27:33,778 --> 00:27:35,433
Um...
479
00:27:40,571 --> 00:27:41,986
Boo!
480
00:27:56,951 --> 00:28:00,813
♪ I hear those ice cream bells
And I start to drool... ♪
481
00:28:00,951 --> 00:28:02,744
This guy needs some help.
482
00:28:02,882 --> 00:28:06,055
♪ Keep a couple quarts
In my locker at school ♪
483
00:28:06,192 --> 00:28:09,261
♪ Yeah, but chocolate's
Gettin' old ♪
484
00:28:09,399 --> 00:28:12,502
♪ Vanilla just leaves me cold ♪
485
00:28:15,124 --> 00:28:19,675
♪ There's just one flavor good
Enough for me, yeah me ♪
486
00:28:19,813 --> 00:28:24,124
♪ Don't gimme no crummy taste
Spoon, I know what I need ♪
487
00:28:24,261 --> 00:28:27,399
♪ Baby, I love rocky road ♪
488
00:28:27,537 --> 00:28:29,675
♪ So won't you go and buy
Half a gallon, baby ♪
489
00:28:29,813 --> 00:28:31,433
♪ I love rocky road ♪
490
00:28:31,571 --> 00:28:35,330
♪ So have another
Triple scoop with me ♪
491
00:28:35,468 --> 00:28:36,778
♪ Ow! ♪
492
00:28:38,399 --> 00:28:41,089
Gimme a shot of tequila
and two scoops of rum raisin.
493
00:28:41,226 --> 00:28:43,020
We don't sell ice cream here.
494
00:28:43,157 --> 00:28:45,089
You better start selling it
before this song's over
495
00:28:45,226 --> 00:28:47,744
or you're gonna have a riot
on your hands.
496
00:28:47,882 --> 00:28:52,778
♪ When I'm all alone
I just grab myself a cone ♪
497
00:28:52,917 --> 00:28:57,640
♪ And if I get fat and lose
My teeth, that's fine with me ♪
498
00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:02,157
♪ Just lock me in the freezer
And throw away the key ♪
499
00:29:02,295 --> 00:29:04,882
♪ Singing
I love rocky road ♪
500
00:29:05,020 --> 00:29:07,778
♪ So won't you go and buy
Half a gallon, baby ♪
501
00:29:07,917 --> 00:29:09,330
♪ I love rocky road ♪
502
00:29:09,468 --> 00:29:12,055
♪ So have another triple
Scoop with me ♪
503
00:29:12,192 --> 00:29:14,192
♪ I love rocky road ♪
504
00:29:14,330 --> 00:29:16,813
♪ So won't you go
And buy half a gallon, baby ♪
505
00:29:16,951 --> 00:29:19,295
♪ I love rocky road ♪
506
00:29:19,433 --> 00:29:21,192
♪ So have another triple
Scoop with ♪
507
00:29:21,330 --> 00:29:23,295
♪ I love rocky road ♪
508
00:29:23,433 --> 00:29:25,882
♪ So won't you go and buy
Half a gallon, baby ♪
509
00:29:26,020 --> 00:29:28,123
♪ I love rocky road ♪
510
00:29:28,261 --> 00:29:30,778
♪ So have another triple scoop
With me ♪
511
00:29:41,778 --> 00:29:44,882
Why didn't you guys tell me
you could play? You're great.
512
00:29:45,020 --> 00:29:46,882
I guess it didn't seem
relevant 'til now.
513
00:29:47,020 --> 00:29:50,813
- Thank you!
514
00:29:55,709 --> 00:29:57,157
Oh, hey.
515
00:29:58,123 --> 00:30:01,709
Oh! You're Dr. Demento.
516
00:30:01,848 --> 00:30:05,330
Oh, wow. I am such a huge fan.
I can't believe this.
517
00:30:05,468 --> 00:30:07,778
I've been listening to your show
my entire life.
518
00:30:07,917 --> 00:30:10,709
Whoo-whoo-whoo,
wind up your radio--
519
00:30:10,848 --> 00:30:12,020
- Don't do that.
- Sorry.
520
00:30:12,157 --> 00:30:14,054
Um, did you see the show?
521
00:30:14,192 --> 00:30:17,640
I did. And let me
tell you something, kid.
522
00:30:17,778 --> 00:30:20,123
Every once in a great while,
I can spot a talent
523
00:30:20,261 --> 00:30:23,192
that I know is headed
straight to the top.
524
00:30:23,330 --> 00:30:24,778
Nervous Norvus,
525
00:30:24,917 --> 00:30:27,433
Wild Man Fischer,
526
00:30:27,571 --> 00:30:30,330
and now... you.
527
00:30:30,468 --> 00:30:34,054
What I saw you do on that stage
tonight blew my mind!
528
00:30:34,192 --> 00:30:36,571
I'm telling you,
you've cracked the code.
529
00:30:36,709 --> 00:30:37,917
You're onto something special.
530
00:30:38,054 --> 00:30:39,364
Wow, I mean, you, you,
you have no idea
531
00:30:39,502 --> 00:30:41,123
what it means
for me to hear you say that.
532
00:30:41,261 --> 00:30:43,675
- Thank you so much.
- Oh...
533
00:30:43,813 --> 00:30:45,951
Um, I only wish
the Scotti Brothers
534
00:30:46,088 --> 00:30:47,571
felt the same way.
535
00:30:47,709 --> 00:30:49,571
Ah, those suits. They
couldn't recognize real talent
536
00:30:49,709 --> 00:30:53,813
if it slapped them in the face
with a dead fish.
537
00:30:53,951 --> 00:30:56,709
But I might be able to
get them to notice you.
538
00:30:56,848 --> 00:30:58,019
How?
539
00:30:58,157 --> 00:31:00,917
Well, stick with me, huh?
540
00:31:01,054 --> 00:31:03,433
I know a little something
about the biz.
541
00:31:03,571 --> 00:31:07,261
Uh, wait, are-are you saying
you want to be my mentor?
542
00:31:07,399 --> 00:31:12,675
No, I'm saying I want to
be your... de-mentor!
543
00:31:21,019 --> 00:31:24,088
But first, we gotta find you
a stage name.
544
00:31:24,226 --> 00:31:27,813
I mean, Al Yankovic. Ugh, blech.
545
00:31:27,951 --> 00:31:29,848
Doesn't exactly trip off
the tongue now, does it?
546
00:31:29,985 --> 00:31:31,019
I guess not.
547
00:31:31,157 --> 00:31:32,399
It's so clunky. It's long.
548
00:31:32,537 --> 00:31:33,778
It's ungainly.
It's hard to pronounce.
549
00:31:33,917 --> 00:31:35,157
Sorry.
550
00:31:35,295 --> 00:31:37,330
Now, I'm just gonna throw
this out there.
551
00:31:37,468 --> 00:31:40,295
Would you be willing
to change your name to...
552
00:31:41,950 --> 00:31:46,778
Weird... Al Yankovic?
553
00:31:48,192 --> 00:31:49,261
I love it.
554
00:31:49,399 --> 00:31:52,399
Great. Great!
555
00:31:52,537 --> 00:31:54,813
Hey, I'm having a little pool
party at the house this weekend.
556
00:31:54,950 --> 00:31:56,778
I'd love to introduce
you to some folks.
557
00:31:56,917 --> 00:31:58,364
What do you say you come on by,
558
00:31:58,502 --> 00:32:00,537
we'll continue this conversation
at the grotto.
559
00:32:00,675 --> 00:32:01,950
Yes, of course!
560
00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:06,744
Mm-hmm. And don't forget
to stay demented!
561
00:32:08,675 --> 00:32:09,917
You got it.
562
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,744
H-H-Hey!
563
00:32:24,882 --> 00:32:27,537
There he is,
my newest superstar.
564
00:32:27,675 --> 00:32:29,778
Ah, so glad you could make it.
565
00:32:29,916 --> 00:32:31,537
I've been telling everyone
about you,
566
00:32:31,675 --> 00:32:34,606
and, uh, looks like you've
brought your band.
567
00:32:34,744 --> 00:32:36,330
Okay, fine.
568
00:32:36,468 --> 00:32:38,295
Uh, there's some canapés right
over there, gentlemen.
569
00:32:38,433 --> 00:32:40,606
Help yourselves. So,
let me show you around, okay?
570
00:32:40,744 --> 00:32:43,848
Everyone's dying to meet you.
Oh, right this way.
571
00:32:43,985 --> 00:32:45,916
- Uh, Mr. Herman.
- Hello.
572
00:32:46,054 --> 00:32:47,813
I'd like you to meet
"Weird Al" Yankovic.
573
00:32:47,950 --> 00:32:50,330
Ah, a rising star.
574
00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:51,813
Pleased to meet you.
575
00:32:56,848 --> 00:32:59,226
And this is, of course,
Tiny Tim.
576
00:32:59,364 --> 00:33:05,019
Oh, Mr. Yankovic. Oh, why,
you're just the cat's pajamas.
577
00:33:05,157 --> 00:33:07,157
Is that a good thing?
578
00:33:07,295 --> 00:33:08,364
Sure.
579
00:33:08,502 --> 00:33:10,537
Ah, excuse us, gentlemen.
580
00:33:10,675 --> 00:33:12,192
Nice to meet you.
581
00:33:12,330 --> 00:33:15,019
So that's Demento's new protégé.
582
00:33:15,157 --> 00:33:16,433
You know, I hear
they don't even hand out
583
00:33:16,571 --> 00:33:18,744
raincoats and tarps
at his shows.
584
00:33:18,881 --> 00:33:20,468
Amateur hour.
585
00:33:22,330 --> 00:33:23,847
Amateur hour.
586
00:33:24,847 --> 00:33:27,088
Well, hello, Dali.
587
00:33:27,226 --> 00:33:28,468
Andy.
588
00:33:28,606 --> 00:33:32,675
What do you think of
this "Weird Al" Yankovic?
589
00:33:32,813 --> 00:33:38,019
Dali predicts he will change
everything we know about art!
590
00:33:38,157 --> 00:33:41,571
Weird Al will change the world!
591
00:33:41,709 --> 00:33:44,502
Eh, I give him 15 minutes.
592
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:48,950
Well, well, well, if it
isn't Dr. Demento.
593
00:33:49,088 --> 00:33:52,157
Wolfman Jack.
Who let you in here?
594
00:33:52,295 --> 00:33:55,813
The Wolfman goes where
the Wolfman wants, baby.
595
00:33:59,950 --> 00:34:01,502
Security!
596
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:05,640
Relax. I just came by
to lay eyes on this cat
597
00:34:05,778 --> 00:34:08,088
you've been paradin' around.
598
00:34:08,226 --> 00:34:10,675
The one who takes
preexisting musical compositions
599
00:34:10,812 --> 00:34:14,088
and completely changes
the lyrics.
600
00:34:14,226 --> 00:34:18,123
He has a name, you know.
And it's "Weird Al" Yankovic.
601
00:34:18,261 --> 00:34:21,640
Well then, put 'er
there, Weird Al.
602
00:34:21,778 --> 00:34:23,916
Oooh! Too slow.
603
00:34:24,054 --> 00:34:25,571
What is the meaning of this?
604
00:34:25,709 --> 00:34:28,019
This is me telling you
that I know hit talent
605
00:34:28,157 --> 00:34:30,123
when I see it,
and this kid ain't it.
606
00:34:30,261 --> 00:34:33,606
He'll never crack the top 40,
he's too niche.
607
00:34:33,744 --> 00:34:38,606
This kid, as you call him,
is the future of music.
608
00:34:38,744 --> 00:34:43,330
Right. Well, if he's so great,
how about he comes up
609
00:34:43,468 --> 00:34:46,916
with a new parody song
right now on the spot?
610
00:34:47,054 --> 00:34:49,019
- Ooh...
- Whoa.
611
00:34:49,157 --> 00:34:50,537
I mean, come on, man.
It's a party.
612
00:34:50,675 --> 00:34:52,123
I don't know that's a good idea.
613
00:34:52,261 --> 00:34:54,192
Do Another One Bites the Dust.
614
00:34:54,330 --> 00:34:57,881
That seems fitting,
who said that?
615
00:34:58,019 --> 00:35:02,019
I did. I'm John Deacon...
616
00:35:05,330 --> 00:35:06,847
of Queen.
617
00:35:09,812 --> 00:35:11,399
I play the bass in Queen.
618
00:35:11,537 --> 00:35:13,019
Oh...
619
00:35:13,157 --> 00:35:15,433
All right, future boy.
620
00:35:15,571 --> 00:35:19,777
Let's hear what you can do with
Another One Bites the Dust.
621
00:35:28,847 --> 00:35:30,468
We're waiting.
622
00:35:32,330 --> 00:35:34,881
You don't have to
prove anything to him.
623
00:35:35,019 --> 00:35:37,675
Come on, guy from Queen.
624
00:35:37,812 --> 00:35:42,847
Let's go find a party
with some real talent.
625
00:35:47,537 --> 00:35:50,157
Get me my accordion.
626
00:35:50,295 --> 00:35:52,123
Hey, you like deviled eggs?
627
00:35:52,261 --> 00:35:54,985
I love a good deviled egg.
They don't love me, though.
628
00:36:08,675 --> 00:36:10,399
♪ Ridin' in the bus
Down the boulevard ♪
629
00:36:10,537 --> 00:36:12,433
♪ And the place was
Pretty packed, yeah! ♪
630
00:36:12,571 --> 00:36:14,192
♪ I couldn't find a seat
So I had to stand ♪
631
00:36:14,330 --> 00:36:15,985
♪ With the perverts
In the back ♪
632
00:36:16,123 --> 00:36:17,640
♪ It was smellin'
Like a locker room ♪
633
00:36:17,777 --> 00:36:19,468
♪ There was junk
All over the floor ♪
634
00:36:19,606 --> 00:36:21,468
♪ We're already packed in
Like sardines ♪
635
00:36:21,606 --> 00:36:24,743
♪ But we're stoppin'
To pick up more, look out! ♪
636
00:36:24,881 --> 00:36:27,985
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
637
00:36:28,123 --> 00:36:30,226
- ♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
-
638
00:36:30,364 --> 00:36:32,192
♪ And another comes on
And another comes on ♪
639
00:36:32,330 --> 00:36:33,916
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
640
00:36:34,054 --> 00:36:35,881
♪ Hey, he's gonna sit by you ♪
641
00:36:36,019 --> 00:36:38,777
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
642
00:36:44,916 --> 00:36:46,364
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
643
00:36:46,502 --> 00:36:48,502
♪ Another one rides the bus
Ow! ♪
644
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,399
♪ Another one rides the bus
Hey, hey ♪
645
00:36:50,537 --> 00:36:54,950
♪ Another one rides the bus
Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey ♪
646
00:36:59,019 --> 00:37:01,054
♪ The window doesn't open
And the fan is broke ♪
647
00:37:01,192 --> 00:37:03,192
♪ And my face
Is turnin' blue, yeah ♪
648
00:37:03,330 --> 00:37:05,054
♪ I haven't been
In a crowd like this ♪
649
00:37:05,192 --> 00:37:06,847
♪ Since I went to see The Who ♪
650
00:37:06,985 --> 00:37:08,571
♪ Well, I should've got off
A couple miles ago ♪
651
00:37:08,708 --> 00:37:10,433
♪ But I couldn't get
To the door ♪
652
00:37:10,571 --> 00:37:12,157
♪ There isn't any room
For me to breathe ♪
653
00:37:12,295 --> 00:37:15,364
♪ Now we're gonna pick up more
Yeah! ♪
654
00:37:15,502 --> 00:37:18,812
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
655
00:37:18,950 --> 00:37:21,157
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
656
00:37:21,295 --> 00:37:23,054
♪ And another comes on
And another comes on ♪
657
00:37:23,192 --> 00:37:25,019
♪ Another one rides the bus ♪
658
00:37:25,157 --> 00:37:28,812
♪ Hey, he's gonna sit by you
Another one rides the bus! ♪
659
00:37:46,537 --> 00:37:48,019
I don't know what to say.
660
00:37:49,364 --> 00:37:51,054
That was the--
661
00:37:51,192 --> 00:37:52,433
That was the most
beautiful thing
662
00:37:52,571 --> 00:37:54,330
I've ever heard
in my entire life.
663
00:37:55,916 --> 00:37:59,364
You truly have
a rare gift, Weird Al.
664
00:38:07,399 --> 00:38:11,605
Hey mate, we're playing
a little gig next week
665
00:38:11,743 --> 00:38:16,502
called Live Aid,
Wembley Stadium.
666
00:38:16,639 --> 00:38:18,985
I'd be honored if you
would join the band
667
00:38:19,123 --> 00:38:22,364
and play that song
on stage with us.
668
00:38:24,399 --> 00:38:25,950
What do you say?
669
00:38:32,468 --> 00:38:33,847
Hard pass!
670
00:38:41,605 --> 00:38:44,812
- This guy?
- Get him, get him out of here!
671
00:38:49,054 --> 00:38:51,536
I felt like
I was on top of the world,
672
00:38:51,674 --> 00:38:55,295
but this was
just the beginning.
673
00:38:55,433 --> 00:38:58,916
"Weird Al" Yankovic is
one of the most exciting
674
00:38:59,054 --> 00:39:01,261
new artists in pop music today.
675
00:39:01,399 --> 00:39:03,985
His self-titled debut album
676
00:39:04,123 --> 00:39:07,881
was just certified
quintuple platinum.
677
00:39:09,536 --> 00:39:11,570
Simply by taking well-known
pop songs
678
00:39:11,708 --> 00:39:13,088
and changing the lyrics,
679
00:39:13,226 --> 00:39:15,433
Yankovic has taken
the world by storm.
680
00:39:15,570 --> 00:39:18,777
I have never seen a collection
of Hawaiian shirts like this.
681
00:39:18,916 --> 00:39:20,605
Oh, well, thank you, Oprah!
682
00:39:20,743 --> 00:39:22,777
He has the number one
album in 20 countries
683
00:39:22,916 --> 00:39:24,847
and counts among his fans
such luminaries as...
684
00:39:24,985 --> 00:39:26,743
Hey, turn this up.
685
00:39:26,881 --> 00:39:29,399
...President Ronald
Reagan and Pope John Paul II.
686
00:39:29,536 --> 00:39:32,433
Even international drug lord
Pablo Escobar
687
00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:35,399
calls Weird Al
his favorite musician.
688
00:39:35,536 --> 00:39:37,123
♪ Oh, Ricky, you're so fine ♪
689
00:39:37,261 --> 00:39:39,019
♪ You're so fine
You blow my mind ♪
690
00:39:39,157 --> 00:39:41,501
- ♪ Hey Ricky! Hey Ricky! ♪
691
00:39:41,639 --> 00:39:43,536
And what about this,
this necklace you're wearing?
692
00:39:43,674 --> 00:39:45,157
Oh, these, yeah.
693
00:39:45,295 --> 00:39:46,950
I, uh, I wear one
solid platinum record medallion
694
00:39:47,088 --> 00:39:48,743
for each time my album
went platinum.
695
00:39:48,881 --> 00:39:51,054
So that's one, two,
three, four, five.
696
00:39:51,192 --> 00:39:52,881
Wow. Those look heavy.
697
00:39:53,019 --> 00:39:55,019
They are super uncomfortable.
698
00:39:55,157 --> 00:39:57,605
And it's not
just the record company
699
00:39:57,743 --> 00:40:00,364
that's cashing in
on Weird Al fever.
700
00:40:00,501 --> 00:40:04,054
The artists he's parodying
are experiencing a phenomenon
701
00:40:04,192 --> 00:40:06,916
that's being called
the Yankovic Bump.
702
00:40:07,054 --> 00:40:10,123
The Knack, Joan Jett
and even Queen
703
00:40:10,261 --> 00:40:13,054
have seen their
album sales double
704
00:40:13,192 --> 00:40:16,399
after Weird Al put
his unique spin on their songs.
705
00:40:16,536 --> 00:40:20,708
Which begs the question,
who will be next?
706
00:40:20,847 --> 00:40:23,708
Who indeed?
707
00:40:23,847 --> 00:40:28,261
Al, you really do seem to have
the Midas touch.
708
00:40:28,399 --> 00:40:30,950
I've never seen anything like it
in all my years.
709
00:40:31,088 --> 00:40:33,605
Your parents must be proud.
710
00:40:33,743 --> 00:40:36,743
Yeah. Yeah, my parents...
711
00:40:45,881 --> 00:40:47,364
Is everything okay?
712
00:40:47,501 --> 00:40:49,536
Huh? Yeah. Yes, of course.
713
00:40:49,674 --> 00:40:52,261
Yeah, whose--whose parents
wouldn't be proud?
714
00:40:52,398 --> 00:40:53,881
Exactly.
715
00:40:55,192 --> 00:40:58,398
- Al? Al?
716
00:41:03,295 --> 00:41:04,364
Hello?
717
00:41:04,501 --> 00:41:07,985
- Hey, Mom. It's me.
- Alfy?
718
00:41:08,123 --> 00:41:10,330
It's been
a long time, hasn't it?
719
00:41:12,192 --> 00:41:13,708
We saw you on the TV.
720
00:41:13,847 --> 00:41:16,123
It's crazy, right?
721
00:41:16,261 --> 00:41:18,261
Yeah, who would've thought?
722
00:41:18,398 --> 00:41:20,847
I'm actually gearing up
for a residency right now
723
00:41:20,985 --> 00:41:22,881
at Madison Square Garden.
724
00:41:23,019 --> 00:41:25,708
Sold out 25 nights in a row.
725
00:41:25,847 --> 00:41:27,363
They're, uh, they're
moving the Knicks
726
00:41:27,501 --> 00:41:29,398
to a hockey rink in Jersey
for a month.
727
00:41:29,536 --> 00:41:31,054
- Huh.
- Yep.
728
00:41:31,192 --> 00:41:32,916
Yep. I'm living the dream.
729
00:41:33,054 --> 00:41:35,398
I mean, to have 20,000 people
every night
730
00:41:35,536 --> 00:41:37,570
singing along to my words
731
00:41:37,708 --> 00:41:39,467
to other people's music.
732
00:41:39,605 --> 00:41:42,467
I feel truly alive
when I'm on that stage.
733
00:41:42,605 --> 00:41:44,261
Oh, that's nice.
734
00:41:45,363 --> 00:41:47,019
Are you eating enough bran?
735
00:41:48,295 --> 00:41:50,330
- What?
- Well, it's important.
736
00:41:50,467 --> 00:41:52,916
It keeps you regular
and you know how you get
737
00:41:53,054 --> 00:41:55,363
when you're not having
your regular BMs, Alfy.
738
00:41:55,501 --> 00:41:58,432
I--Yeah, sure.
739
00:41:58,570 --> 00:42:02,192
Good. That's good.
740
00:42:03,501 --> 00:42:08,157
So, um, so how's Dad?
741
00:42:08,295 --> 00:42:11,708
Gosh, your father's
a complicated man.
742
00:42:11,847 --> 00:42:13,847
Does he ever talk about me?
743
00:42:13,985 --> 00:42:17,088
Oh, sure, all the time. Yes.
744
00:42:17,226 --> 00:42:19,501
There's so many things
that he wants to tell you,
745
00:42:19,639 --> 00:42:20,847
but it's just difficult for him.
746
00:42:20,985 --> 00:42:22,916
Well, like what?
747
00:42:23,054 --> 00:42:25,295
You know, what does
he want to tell me?
748
00:42:25,432 --> 00:42:29,950
Well, mostly he just
wants to let you know that
749
00:42:30,088 --> 00:42:32,363
he's definitely not
proud of you.
750
00:42:33,605 --> 00:42:34,950
What?
751
00:42:35,088 --> 00:42:36,985
Yes. He told me to be
crystal clear about that.
752
00:42:37,123 --> 00:42:39,536
Also, he still thinks
that parody songs are stupid,
753
00:42:39,674 --> 00:42:40,985
and I don't have to tell you
754
00:42:41,123 --> 00:42:42,432
how he feels about the
accordion, do I?
755
00:42:42,570 --> 00:42:44,226
Okay. Well, Mom,
I actually have to go now.
756
00:42:44,363 --> 00:42:46,088
You know, he just never
really wanted to have kids.
757
00:42:46,226 --> 00:42:48,157
Okay. Well, great
talking to you.
758
00:42:48,294 --> 00:42:50,467
Listen, if you do wanna get
that job down at the factory,
759
00:42:50,605 --> 00:42:52,708
I'm sure your father can
pull a few strings for you.
760
00:42:52,847 --> 00:42:54,088
All right. Take care
now, bye-bye.
761
00:42:54,226 --> 00:42:56,123
- Love you, Alfy!
- Yep!
762
00:43:07,123 --> 00:43:11,019
Oh, tough call with
the folks, huh?
763
00:43:11,157 --> 00:43:12,536
You know, I can fire up
764
00:43:12,674 --> 00:43:13,881
the downstairs hot tub
for you if you'd like.
765
00:43:14,019 --> 00:43:15,363
Oh, no, no, this is fine.
766
00:43:15,501 --> 00:43:16,674
I don't want to put you
through any trouble.
767
00:43:16,812 --> 00:43:18,192
I--It's really no trouble.
768
00:43:18,329 --> 00:43:19,916
I mean, there are actually
three other Jacuzzis
769
00:43:20,054 --> 00:43:21,605
in the house that are
not here in my bedroom.
770
00:43:21,743 --> 00:43:25,123
Oh, that's so sweet of you,
but really, I'm good.
771
00:43:25,260 --> 00:43:28,605
You, on the other hand,
you don't seem so good.
772
00:43:28,743 --> 00:43:30,916
Do you wanna talk about it?
773
00:43:34,570 --> 00:43:37,674
It's just, my whole life,
774
00:43:37,812 --> 00:43:43,329
all I've wanted is for my father
to accept me for who I am.
775
00:43:43,467 --> 00:43:46,743
And I thought if I became
this huge success,
776
00:43:46,881 --> 00:43:49,054
that that would change
things, but...
777
00:43:49,192 --> 00:43:50,363
Mm.
778
00:43:51,916 --> 00:43:55,192
But he still hates everything
about me.
779
00:43:58,225 --> 00:44:01,019
You know, maybe he's right.
Maybe parody songs are stupid.
780
00:44:01,157 --> 00:44:04,467
Look, you don't have to
write parody songs
781
00:44:04,605 --> 00:44:06,225
if you don't want to.
782
00:44:06,363 --> 00:44:08,054
What?
783
00:44:08,192 --> 00:44:10,467
You look a little hungry.
Here, have a snack.
784
00:44:12,708 --> 00:44:16,881
You can write your own songs.
785
00:44:17,019 --> 00:44:18,605
You think I took
you under my wing
786
00:44:18,743 --> 00:44:21,019
because you write parody songs?
787
00:44:21,157 --> 00:44:24,536
No, I saw in you a visionary,
788
00:44:24,674 --> 00:44:28,639
an artist who has
something to give to the world.
789
00:44:28,777 --> 00:44:30,363
I saw in you something special,
790
00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:33,777
something your father
doesn't see
791
00:44:33,916 --> 00:44:36,363
and that even you don't see...
792
00:44:38,501 --> 00:44:39,536
yet.
793
00:44:39,674 --> 00:44:41,363
This guacamole tastes funny.
794
00:44:41,501 --> 00:44:45,054
Of course
it does. It's loaded with LSD.
795
00:44:45,191 --> 00:44:46,225
What?
796
00:44:46,363 --> 00:44:48,260
- No!
797
00:44:48,398 --> 00:44:51,950
You need to open your heart
and your mind,
798
00:44:52,088 --> 00:44:55,777
face your fears,
break your chains,
799
00:44:55,916 --> 00:44:57,674
come with me
on a spiritual journey.
800
00:44:57,812 --> 00:44:59,639
Find your source of inspiration!
801
00:44:59,777 --> 00:45:02,881
No, that-that is totally
not cool, man. You can't just--
802
00:45:03,019 --> 00:45:05,812
Whoa, no, what is happening
to your head?
803
00:45:05,950 --> 00:45:07,674
That's probably
the drugs kicking in.
804
00:45:07,812 --> 00:45:09,777
Just relax and enjoy the ride.
805
00:45:09,916 --> 00:45:12,363
It'll be over in like,
ten to 12 hours.
806
00:45:12,501 --> 00:45:15,985
Twelve hours?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
807
00:45:17,847 --> 00:45:20,329
I'm just gonna close my eyes
and when I open them up again,
808
00:45:20,467 --> 00:45:22,398
everything is gonna
be completely back to--
809
00:45:31,881 --> 00:45:34,570
What in God's name
are you doing, boy?
810
00:45:34,708 --> 00:45:36,708
Those aren't the right words!
811
00:45:36,847 --> 00:45:38,950
Please, just stop being
who you are
812
00:45:39,088 --> 00:45:40,812
and doing the things you love.
813
00:45:40,950 --> 00:45:44,467
You, Al Yankovic,
are the most untalented,
814
00:45:44,605 --> 00:45:49,054
pathetic loser I've ever
met in my entire life!
815
00:45:49,191 --> 00:45:52,122
No, no, no, stop it.
Leave me alone!
816
00:45:55,088 --> 00:46:00,054
Alfred Yankovic, this
is your time.
817
00:46:00,191 --> 00:46:04,087
Believe in yourself,
and the song will come to you.
818
00:46:04,225 --> 00:46:05,881
Don't listen to him, boy!
819
00:46:06,019 --> 00:46:08,847
You belong with me,
at the factory!
820
00:46:08,985 --> 00:46:12,467
It's your destiny!
821
00:46:12,605 --> 00:46:15,847
Aah! No!
822
00:46:23,467 --> 00:46:25,467
Aah! No!
823
00:46:25,605 --> 00:46:29,432
He's losing his power
over you, keep going!
824
00:46:29,570 --> 00:46:31,225
I can't!
825
00:46:31,363 --> 00:46:34,467
Maybe you should try
a little Cap'n Crunch.
826
00:46:35,674 --> 00:46:37,432
What?
827
00:46:37,570 --> 00:46:39,363
Raisin Bran, perhaps?
828
00:46:40,812 --> 00:46:43,398
No, no! I don't want
no Cap'n Crunch!
829
00:46:43,536 --> 00:46:45,294
Don't want no Raisin Bran!
830
00:46:45,432 --> 00:46:49,467
Eat it, just eat it.
831
00:46:49,605 --> 00:46:51,501
I don't understand!
832
00:46:51,639 --> 00:46:54,916
Don't you make me repeat it.
833
00:46:57,881 --> 00:47:00,053
What's happening to me?
834
00:47:00,191 --> 00:47:03,708
Now you must die
in order to be reborn.
835
00:47:03,847 --> 00:47:07,225
No, no! No!
836
00:47:40,363 --> 00:47:41,467
Put it in.
837
00:47:43,467 --> 00:47:46,363
♪ How come you're always
Such a fussy young man ♪
838
00:47:46,501 --> 00:47:49,329
♪ Don't want no Cap'n Crunch
Don't want no Raisin Bran ♪
839
00:47:49,467 --> 00:47:51,674
♪ Well, don't you know
That other kids ♪
840
00:47:51,812 --> 00:47:52,950
♪ Are starving in Japan ♪
841
00:47:53,087 --> 00:47:56,018
♪ So eat it, just eat it ♪
842
00:47:58,708 --> 00:48:00,294
I've heard enough.
843
00:48:02,812 --> 00:48:05,053
It's brilliant.
844
00:48:05,191 --> 00:48:07,777
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't recognize the tune.
845
00:48:07,916 --> 00:48:09,847
What song
are you parodying here?
846
00:48:09,984 --> 00:48:11,847
I'm not parodying anything.
847
00:48:11,984 --> 00:48:13,916
This song is completely original.
848
00:48:14,053 --> 00:48:16,984
Wait, you wrote the words
and the music?
849
00:48:17,122 --> 00:48:18,122
That's right.
850
00:48:18,260 --> 00:48:21,225
Okay, just to be
perfectly clear,
851
00:48:21,363 --> 00:48:25,812
so you're saying this is not
a parody of an existing song,
852
00:48:25,949 --> 00:48:28,191
but an entirely
original composition
853
00:48:28,329 --> 00:48:30,398
that you wrote all by yourself?
854
00:48:30,536 --> 00:48:32,018
Yes.
855
00:48:32,156 --> 00:48:34,536
Not based on anybody else's song
in any way?
856
00:48:34,674 --> 00:48:36,777
Did I stutter?
857
00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:42,639
I'm tired of people thinking
I'm some kind of joke, okay?
858
00:48:42,777 --> 00:48:46,536
I am done writing
parody songs.
859
00:48:46,674 --> 00:48:48,053
Done.
860
00:48:48,812 --> 00:48:50,605
From now on,
861
00:48:50,743 --> 00:48:55,501
I am only gonna do
completely original music.
862
00:48:55,639 --> 00:48:58,122
Oh, Al, you can't smoke in here.
863
00:49:07,639 --> 00:49:10,122
I totally deserved that.
864
00:49:10,260 --> 00:49:14,949
Well, I am blown away.
This is a bold new direction.
865
00:49:15,087 --> 00:49:17,674
I mean, the parody
songs were fine,
866
00:49:17,812 --> 00:49:23,018
but you've completely
changed the game here.
867
00:49:23,156 --> 00:49:25,432
This is gonna be your
biggest hit yet.
868
00:49:27,915 --> 00:49:32,294
Okay, okay! Hold your horses!
869
00:49:43,847 --> 00:49:45,536
"Weird Al" Yankovic.
870
00:49:45,674 --> 00:49:48,743
Um, do I know you?
871
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,570
Madonna. Ring any bells?
872
00:49:52,708 --> 00:49:56,053
Oh, right. Madonna.
873
00:49:56,191 --> 00:50:00,225
Yeah, Lucky Star,
Holiday, Borderline.
874
00:50:00,363 --> 00:50:02,018
Born in Michigan,
Catholic schoolgirl,
875
00:50:02,156 --> 00:50:03,949
dropped outta college
and moved to New York City
876
00:50:04,087 --> 00:50:05,812
with nothing but the clothes
on your back
877
00:50:05,949 --> 00:50:07,156
and $35 in your pocket.
878
00:50:07,294 --> 00:50:09,536
Maybe it was to become
the Queen of Pop.
879
00:50:09,674 --> 00:50:12,949
Maybe it was to get back at Dad
for marrying the housekeeper.
880
00:50:14,260 --> 00:50:15,467
Wow.
881
00:50:15,605 --> 00:50:17,639
You know a lot more about me
than you let on.
882
00:50:17,777 --> 00:50:22,225
What can I say?
I'm full of surprises.
883
00:50:24,536 --> 00:50:28,605
So, what brings you
here, Madonna?
884
00:50:28,743 --> 00:50:30,501
Oh, I was in the neighborhood.
885
00:50:30,639 --> 00:50:36,122
Wanted to see if my map to
the stars' homes was accurate.
886
00:50:36,260 --> 00:50:39,018
Guess you won't need
a refund, then.
887
00:50:39,156 --> 00:50:43,018
Is that, uh, all you wanted?
888
00:50:43,156 --> 00:50:48,191
No, I want a lot of things,
889
00:50:48,329 --> 00:50:50,777
but the truth is,
I'm a big fan of yours.
890
00:50:50,915 --> 00:50:53,363
Join the club.
891
00:50:53,501 --> 00:50:57,743
Have you heard my new
single, Like a Virgin?
892
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,191
Oh, I've heard it.
893
00:50:59,329 --> 00:51:04,743
And I'm curious,
is that song autobiographical?
894
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,122
Yes. I technically am a virgin,
895
00:51:08,260 --> 00:51:11,536
except for the fact
that I've had a lot of sex.
896
00:51:11,674 --> 00:51:14,225
I mean, a lot.
897
00:51:15,776 --> 00:51:17,018
I see.
898
00:51:17,984 --> 00:51:20,605
Anyway, I was wondering
899
00:51:20,743 --> 00:51:23,191
if you were going to
do a parody of my song.
900
00:51:24,708 --> 00:51:26,191
Maybe.
901
00:51:26,329 --> 00:51:28,536
I like that.
902
00:51:28,674 --> 00:51:32,984
So, would you like to see
the rest of the house?
903
00:51:33,122 --> 00:51:35,294
There's only one room
I'm interested in seeing.
904
00:51:35,432 --> 00:51:37,294
Oh, I'm doing some
work on the bathroom,
905
00:51:37,432 --> 00:51:39,501
but there's another
one downstairs.
906
00:51:39,639 --> 00:51:41,880
Oh, I'm not talking
about the bathroom.
907
00:51:42,018 --> 00:51:45,432
Then let me show you
to the laundry room.
908
00:51:47,018 --> 00:51:51,294
Al Yankovic,
are you playing with me?
909
00:51:53,122 --> 00:51:54,398
Yes?
910
00:52:17,639 --> 00:52:20,811
Oh, you're so weird.
911
00:52:38,018 --> 00:52:41,432
So, are we like, boyfriend
and girlfriend now?
912
00:52:43,294 --> 00:52:46,329
Maybe.
913
00:52:46,467 --> 00:52:50,053
Well, now that things
are official,
914
00:52:50,191 --> 00:52:53,329
I should really be
honest with you.
915
00:52:53,467 --> 00:52:58,467
When I said I might parody
one of your songs, I lied.
916
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,742
So, it's true,
what they're saying.
917
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,776
You're not doing
parodies anymore.
918
00:53:07,915 --> 00:53:09,398
My song Eat It,
919
00:53:09,536 --> 00:53:11,846
which, as you know, is
a hundred percent original,
920
00:53:11,984 --> 00:53:15,294
is the biggest hit
by anybody ever.
921
00:53:15,432 --> 00:53:17,915
So, I've decided that's all
I wanna do from now on.
922
00:53:18,053 --> 00:53:20,742
Completely original songs.
923
00:53:24,363 --> 00:53:27,329
See, that's what
I love about you.
924
00:53:27,467 --> 00:53:30,915
You know what you want and
you know how to get it.
925
00:53:32,846 --> 00:53:34,225
Just like me.
926
00:53:47,156 --> 00:53:49,846
♪ Just eat it, eat it ♪
927
00:53:49,984 --> 00:53:53,053
♪ Don't you make me repeat it ♪
928
00:53:53,191 --> 00:53:56,225
♪ Have a banana
Have a whole bunch ♪
929
00:53:56,363 --> 00:53:59,260
♪ It doesn't matter
What you had for lunch ♪
930
00:53:59,398 --> 00:54:02,294
♪ Just eat it, eat it, eat it
Eat it ♪
931
00:54:02,432 --> 00:54:04,260
♪ Eat it
Eat it, eat it, eat it ♪
932
00:54:04,398 --> 00:54:09,053
How about that?
And I've got some amazing news.
933
00:54:09,191 --> 00:54:11,742
I've officially gotten the word
that we have broken
934
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:16,432
the Beatles' record for most
singles in the Billboard Top 10.
935
00:54:17,363 --> 00:54:18,536
Oh.
936
00:54:22,363 --> 00:54:23,742
Yeah, cool.
937
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:25,432
Uh, okay.
938
00:54:25,570 --> 00:54:30,053
Well, um, we have some very
exciting offers pouring in
939
00:54:30,191 --> 00:54:32,707
that I would love to--
940
00:54:32,846 --> 00:54:34,742
- That--
- Oh, that feels good.
941
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:36,432
love to discuss with--
942
00:54:36,570 --> 00:54:37,707
Love to discuss with you.
943
00:54:37,846 --> 00:54:39,398
We got some, some great calls.
944
00:54:39,536 --> 00:54:41,501
- Uh, very interesting.
945
00:54:41,638 --> 00:54:45,294
Led Zeppelin, uh, is thinking
about getting back together,
946
00:54:45,432 --> 00:54:47,363
but they say the only
way they'll do it
947
00:54:47,501 --> 00:54:49,604
is if they can
open up for you on tour.
948
00:54:49,742 --> 00:54:51,363
I mean, that's sweet, but yeah.
949
00:54:51,501 --> 00:54:54,467
I already offered the gig
to Howie Mandel, so.
950
00:54:55,915 --> 00:54:59,087
Okay, yeah. But this
is perhaps--
951
00:54:59,225 --> 00:55:04,363
Look, I am not bumping
Mandel for Zeppelin, okay? Pass.
952
00:55:04,501 --> 00:55:08,398
Okay. Got it.
953
00:55:08,536 --> 00:55:11,846
Uh, well, we have another offer,
a very serious offer.
954
00:55:11,984 --> 00:55:16,053
This is to replace Roger Moore
in the James Bond franchise.
955
00:55:16,191 --> 00:55:17,638
- Now this one--
- No!
956
00:55:17,776 --> 00:55:19,398
No, no, no, I'm not gonna
be the new James Bond.
957
00:55:19,535 --> 00:55:21,398
I'm not gonna be
the new Indiana Jones.
958
00:55:21,535 --> 00:55:25,260
From now on, everything I do
has to be completely original.
959
00:55:25,398 --> 00:55:27,363
How many times have
I gotta say that?
960
00:55:27,501 --> 00:55:31,467
Look, Mr. Pimento,
we have places to be.
961
00:55:31,604 --> 00:55:33,604
How long is this gonna take?
962
00:55:33,742 --> 00:55:36,053
Not much longer.
963
00:55:36,191 --> 00:55:37,776
We got another offer
for you to play
964
00:55:37,915 --> 00:55:40,053
Pablo Escobar's 40th
birthday party.
965
00:55:40,191 --> 00:55:42,087
I saw him on the news.
He's a really big deal.
966
00:55:42,225 --> 00:55:44,707
The drug lord?
Why is he so obsessed with me?
967
00:55:44,846 --> 00:55:49,880
And he has upped his offer
to three billion pesos.
968
00:55:50,018 --> 00:55:51,880
I mean, okay, how much is
that in American money?
969
00:55:52,018 --> 00:55:53,294
You know what, never mind.
970
00:55:53,432 --> 00:55:55,191
I don't feel like
doing the math.
971
00:55:55,329 --> 00:55:56,707
Well, I've done the math
and I can assure you--
972
00:55:56,846 --> 00:55:59,225
Bup-bup-bup!
I can do my own math,
973
00:55:59,363 --> 00:56:01,432
and I said,
I don't want to. Pass.
974
00:56:02,500 --> 00:56:05,569
Alfy, are you chewing my gum?
975
00:56:05,707 --> 00:56:07,915
I don't know. Maybe.
976
00:56:08,053 --> 00:56:10,225
You wanna come get it?
977
00:56:22,018 --> 00:56:23,846
You, you don't think
things are moving
978
00:56:23,984 --> 00:56:25,329
too fast with us, do you?
979
00:56:25,466 --> 00:56:29,294
Baby, don't be silly.
We're soulmates.
980
00:56:29,432 --> 00:56:32,915
This is true love.
When you know, you know.
981
00:56:33,053 --> 00:56:34,500
You're so right.
982
00:56:34,638 --> 00:56:38,776
This has been the happiest
six hours of my life.
983
00:56:38,915 --> 00:56:42,811
Mr. Yankovic, you have
a phone call at the host stand.
984
00:56:43,673 --> 00:56:45,329
Excuse me, my love.
985
00:56:52,915 --> 00:56:54,432
This better be good.
986
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:57,260
Well...
987
00:56:58,638 --> 00:57:00,431
What's going on, Tony?
988
00:57:00,569 --> 00:57:04,742
Okay, um, I-I thought you
should hear it from me first.
989
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:09,742
Michael Jackson just released
a new single called Beat It.
990
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:11,811
It's, um...
991
00:57:11,949 --> 00:57:14,398
Well, it's-it's a parody
of Eat It.
992
00:57:14,535 --> 00:57:17,191
You mean the kid from
the Jackson Five?
993
00:57:17,329 --> 00:57:19,569
Why is that has-been trying
to ride my coattails?
994
00:57:19,707 --> 00:57:22,466
He actually has a pretty
successful solo career now.
995
00:57:22,604 --> 00:57:24,018
Whatever! You're telling me
996
00:57:24,156 --> 00:57:26,191
Michael Jackson recorded
a parody of my song?
997
00:57:26,329 --> 00:57:27,776
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
998
00:57:27,915 --> 00:57:29,225
Same music, different words.
999
00:57:29,363 --> 00:57:30,984
What kinda sick freak
changes the words
1000
00:57:31,122 --> 00:57:33,156
to someone else's song?
1001
00:57:34,018 --> 00:57:35,742
Beat It, huh?
1002
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:37,638
Wait, so it's about eggs?
1003
00:57:37,776 --> 00:57:39,260
No, no, it's, uh, I don't
think it's even about food.
1004
00:57:39,397 --> 00:57:41,329
It's about fighting or...
1005
00:57:41,466 --> 00:57:43,397
trying to avoid a fight?
I'm not exactly sure--
1006
00:57:43,535 --> 00:57:47,466
What gives him the right?
Can he even do this?
1007
00:57:47,604 --> 00:57:49,569
I think you're overreacting
just a little, okay?
1008
00:57:49,707 --> 00:57:52,431
I mean, this could be
great publicity.
1009
00:57:52,569 --> 00:57:53,915
Sell a few more albums.
1010
00:57:54,053 --> 00:57:56,466
No, I don't need to
sell more albums, Tony!
1011
00:57:56,604 --> 00:57:58,880
I need people to start
taking me seriously
1012
00:57:59,018 --> 00:58:01,018
as an artist
that creates original music.
1013
00:58:01,156 --> 00:58:02,949
Now some idiots
will probably get confused
1014
00:58:03,087 --> 00:58:05,673
and think Beat It came first!
1015
00:58:05,811 --> 00:58:07,225
Nobody's gonna think that.
1016
00:58:07,362 --> 00:58:09,535
This is a disaster,
for the rest of my life now,
1017
00:58:09,673 --> 00:58:11,776
I'm gonna be linked to
this Michael Jackson guy.
1018
00:58:11,915 --> 00:58:13,535
And why would that be so bad?
1019
00:58:13,673 --> 00:58:15,673
You know, maybe it's a good
thing. I-I think it's an honor.
1020
00:58:15,811 --> 00:58:17,811
Michael's one of the biggest
stars in the world.
1021
00:58:26,569 --> 00:58:27,846
Everything okay?
1022
00:58:27,984 --> 00:58:30,087
Everything's pretty
freaking not okay.
1023
00:58:30,225 --> 00:58:31,742
I finally created something
of my own
1024
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,604
and now people are just gonna
think I'm ripping off
1025
00:58:33,742 --> 00:58:35,431
"Michael Jackson."
1026
00:58:35,569 --> 00:58:37,260
Your filet?
1027
00:58:39,742 --> 00:58:41,880
I think I lost my appetite.
1028
00:58:42,018 --> 00:58:44,984
Babe, you seem stressed.
You should have a drink.
1029
00:58:45,122 --> 00:58:47,260
I don't really drink.
1030
00:58:47,397 --> 00:58:48,776
If there's one thing
I've learned in life,
1031
00:58:48,915 --> 00:58:50,535
the only thing
that can clear your head
1032
00:58:50,673 --> 00:58:53,225
and make you feel better is
hard alcohol, and lots of it.
1033
00:58:53,362 --> 00:58:58,156
Well, you know me better
than anyone.
1034
00:58:59,638 --> 00:59:00,846
I trust you.
1035
00:59:02,053 --> 00:59:03,500
He'll have a whiskey, neat.
1036
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:11,156
You know what? Maybe you should
bring the whole bottle.
1037
00:59:20,673 --> 00:59:23,225
- I know, right?
1038
00:59:23,362 --> 00:59:27,949
Hey, hey. The king is here!
Let's get this party started.
1039
00:59:28,087 --> 00:59:31,431
Dude, soundcheck was supposed
to start like three hours ago.
1040
00:59:31,569 --> 00:59:36,293
Well, I wasn't here three hours
ago, so we're starting now.
1041
00:59:36,431 --> 00:59:38,087
Al, are you drunk?
1042
00:59:38,225 --> 00:59:39,569
I'm not drunk,
you're all drunk.
1043
00:59:39,707 --> 00:59:41,087
No, this is pointless.
1044
00:59:41,225 --> 00:59:43,397
Hey, man, why don't you
just get out of here?
1045
00:59:43,535 --> 00:59:45,915
I need to get out of here?
You need to get out of here!
1046
00:59:46,053 --> 00:59:47,500
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Guys, guys!
1047
00:59:47,638 --> 00:59:50,087
Al, look, it's the first show
of the tour tonight.
1048
00:59:50,225 --> 00:59:52,087
It's kind of a big deal.
1049
00:59:52,225 --> 00:59:53,535
Do you think you could maybe
not screw this up for everybody?
1050
00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:56,638
Oh, what-what-what are
you gonna do, fire me?
1051
00:59:56,776 --> 00:59:59,984
You guys are nothing without me.
1052
01:00:00,122 --> 01:00:02,915
Yeah, I could replace
you with a drum machine
1053
01:00:03,053 --> 01:00:06,776
and you with a guitar machine
1054
01:00:06,915 --> 01:00:09,259
and you with a...
1055
01:00:09,397 --> 01:00:11,225
I don't know,
with some other machine.
1056
01:00:11,362 --> 01:00:13,811
You're all just a bunch
of normals, okay,
1057
01:00:13,949 --> 01:00:17,880
I'm the weird one!
I am the weird one!
1058
01:00:23,638 --> 01:00:26,846
Okay. That's it.
1059
01:00:34,466 --> 01:00:37,224
You've changed, man.
1060
01:00:37,362 --> 01:00:40,431
- Fame's really gotten to you.
1061
01:00:40,569 --> 01:00:42,259
Wow.
1062
01:00:45,293 --> 01:00:46,880
Look, just get yourself
cleaned up
1063
01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,811
for the show tonight, all right?
1064
01:00:52,259 --> 01:00:54,156
- You're a mess.
- Yeah.
1065
01:00:59,984 --> 01:01:01,707
They seem nice.
1066
01:01:01,846 --> 01:01:03,053
Yeah, they're great.
1067
01:01:05,053 --> 01:01:08,018
- Al?
- Oh, what do you want?
1068
01:01:08,156 --> 01:01:10,156
Can I talk to you for a minute?
1069
01:01:12,742 --> 01:01:13,846
Privately?
1070
01:01:13,984 --> 01:01:15,224
Look, anything you
wanna say to me,
1071
01:01:15,362 --> 01:01:17,846
you can say
in front of my girlfriend.
1072
01:01:19,122 --> 01:01:21,984
Okay, fine.
1073
01:01:22,122 --> 01:01:23,742
I think Madonna's
a bad influence on you.
1074
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:26,638
I think she's an evil,
conniving succubus,
1075
01:01:26,776 --> 01:01:29,673
and she's only using you for
her pathetic and selfish needs.
1076
01:01:29,811 --> 01:01:31,362
- What?
- No offense.
1077
01:01:31,500 --> 01:01:35,638
She only wants you for that
sweet, sweet Yankovic Bump.
1078
01:01:35,776 --> 01:01:37,293
She knows her record sales
1079
01:01:37,431 --> 01:01:39,466
will go through the roof
if you parody her.
1080
01:01:39,604 --> 01:01:41,362
How dare you.
1081
01:01:41,500 --> 01:01:45,742
This woman is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
1082
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:49,742
And besides, I already told her
I'm not doing any more, um...
1083
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,604
Any more...
The thing you said.
1084
01:01:52,742 --> 01:01:54,397
- Song parodies.
- Song parodies!
1085
01:01:54,535 --> 01:01:56,087
You're so drunk right now,
1086
01:01:56,224 --> 01:01:58,328
I bet you couldn't even
give her that Yankovic Bump.
1087
01:01:58,466 --> 01:02:00,018
That's not true!
1088
01:02:00,155 --> 01:02:02,122
That's not true, I'll come up
with that song parody right now.
1089
01:02:02,259 --> 01:02:05,604
Instead of "Like a Virgin,"
it'll be "Like a..."
1090
01:02:05,742 --> 01:02:07,087
Like a...
1091
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:10,328
Like a...
1092
01:02:10,466 --> 01:02:12,431
Shut up, it's impossible!
Nothing rhymes with virgin.
1093
01:02:12,569 --> 01:02:14,742
Al, listen.
1094
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:16,293
You gotta take care of yourself.
1095
01:02:16,431 --> 01:02:18,224
When she's done with you,
she's gonna drop you
1096
01:02:18,362 --> 01:02:20,018
like a sack of spoiled cabbage.
1097
01:02:20,155 --> 01:02:22,500
No, no, shut up, shut up!
You're not my dad.
1098
01:02:22,638 --> 01:02:26,155
You think you're my dad,
but you are not my dad.
1099
01:02:29,328 --> 01:02:31,500
Baby?
Baby, where are you going?
1100
01:02:31,638 --> 01:02:33,915
I'm goin' for a drive to
clear my mind, on my own.
1101
01:02:34,053 --> 01:02:37,915
No, no, no, no, no.
You cannot go.
1102
01:02:39,915 --> 01:02:41,535
Without your car keys.
1103
01:02:41,673 --> 01:02:45,121
Thank you so much.
1104
01:02:59,915 --> 01:03:01,466
Well, we can't wait.
1105
01:03:01,604 --> 01:03:03,984
Weird Al hits the stage
at Joe Robbie Stadium
1106
01:03:04,121 --> 01:03:05,880
tonight at eight o'clock,
1107
01:03:06,018 --> 01:03:07,707
and it's gonna be
off the chain.
1108
01:03:07,846 --> 01:03:09,259
One for the history--
1109
01:03:09,397 --> 01:03:11,638
- ♪ Just eat it, eat it ♪
1110
01:03:11,776 --> 01:03:14,673
♪ Another one rides the bus... ♪
1111
01:03:14,811 --> 01:03:16,846
♪ M-M-M-My bologna... ♪
1112
01:03:18,638 --> 01:03:20,293
♪ Have another triple scoop
With me... ♪
1113
01:03:20,431 --> 01:03:22,362
Well, that was
multi-platinum recording artist
1114
01:03:22,500 --> 01:03:24,880
"Weird Al" Yankovic with
I Love Rocky Road,
1115
01:03:25,018 --> 01:03:28,776
and my god, have you ever seen
a more durable pop artist?
1116
01:03:28,915 --> 01:03:30,259
Anything you throw at this guy,
1117
01:03:30,397 --> 01:03:32,673
he just seems capable
of surviving it.
1118
01:03:32,811 --> 01:03:35,466
I'll bet he could land a plane
into a volcano
1119
01:03:35,604 --> 01:03:38,224
- and still come out--
1120
01:03:54,984 --> 01:03:56,500
Dammit.
1121
01:03:58,707 --> 01:04:01,052
All right, nurse, let's call it.
1122
01:04:02,742 --> 01:04:04,707
Time of death: 7:30--
1123
01:04:09,293 --> 01:04:10,742
Quick!
1124
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:12,673
I need some paper
and a number two pencil.
1125
01:04:12,811 --> 01:04:14,293
Here you go, baby.
1126
01:04:14,431 --> 01:04:16,259
Excuse me, miss, he's
in no condition to be doing--
1127
01:04:16,397 --> 01:04:20,017
Look, there's no time, okay?
He's got a show in 30 minutes.
1128
01:04:20,155 --> 01:04:22,811
- All right.
1129
01:04:22,949 --> 01:04:25,190
Better give me
all your gauze, nurse.
1130
01:04:28,673 --> 01:04:31,949
♪ I finally made it through
Med school ♪
1131
01:04:32,086 --> 01:04:36,742
♪ Somehow I made it through ♪
1132
01:04:36,880 --> 01:04:38,190
♪ I'm just an intern ♪
1133
01:04:38,328 --> 01:04:42,466
♪ I still make a mistake
Or two ♪
1134
01:04:43,846 --> 01:04:47,362
♪ I was last in my class ♪
1135
01:04:47,500 --> 01:04:51,017
♪ Barely passed
At the institute ♪
1136
01:04:51,155 --> 01:04:55,086
♪ Now I'm trying to avoid ♪
1137
01:04:55,224 --> 01:04:58,569
♪ Yeah, I'm trying to avoid ♪
1138
01:04:58,707 --> 01:05:01,190
♪ A malpractice suit ♪
1139
01:05:02,915 --> 01:05:06,017
♪ Like a surgeon, hey! ♪
1140
01:05:06,155 --> 01:05:09,328
♪ Cuttin'
For the very first time ♪
1141
01:05:09,466 --> 01:05:10,362
Yes!
1142
01:05:10,500 --> 01:05:14,017
♪ Like a surgeon ♪
1143
01:05:14,155 --> 01:05:18,707
♪ Here's a waiver
For you to sign ♪
1144
01:05:25,086 --> 01:05:28,776
This is all for you, babe.
I love you so much.
1145
01:05:29,673 --> 01:05:31,017
I think I should have
1146
01:05:31,155 --> 01:05:32,742
stuck around for that
blood transfusion, though.
1147
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:34,880
- I think I'm gonna pass out.
- No, babe, you're killing it.
1148
01:05:35,017 --> 01:05:37,190
- Now get back out there.
- Okay.
1149
01:05:40,914 --> 01:05:43,017
♪ Like a surgeon ♪
1150
01:05:43,155 --> 01:05:47,086
♪ Ooh-hoo, like a surgeon ♪
1151
01:05:47,224 --> 01:05:50,535
♪ When I reach inside ♪
1152
01:05:50,673 --> 01:05:54,431
♪ With my scalpel
And my forceps ♪
1153
01:05:54,569 --> 01:05:59,190
♪ And retractors
Oh-ho-oh-oh-oh ♪
1154
01:05:59,328 --> 01:06:04,846
- ♪ Oh-oh-oh-ho-oh-ho-oh-ho ♪
1155
01:06:07,052 --> 01:06:10,948
♪ Ooh, baby, yeah ♪
1156
01:06:11,086 --> 01:06:13,466
♪ I can hear your heart beat ♪
1157
01:06:15,224 --> 01:06:17,224
♪ For the very last time ♪
1158
01:06:26,638 --> 01:06:30,224
Okay, babe, you have
a costume change, one more song,
1159
01:06:30,362 --> 01:06:32,259
and then we can go home
and sleep it off.
1160
01:06:32,397 --> 01:06:33,500
Okay.
1161
01:06:37,914 --> 01:06:39,190
No, no, no, no.
1162
01:06:39,328 --> 01:06:40,914
What-what is that?
I'm not wearing that.
1163
01:06:41,052 --> 01:06:42,431
It's your Eat It jacket, babe.
1164
01:06:42,569 --> 01:06:43,742
No, not anymore, it's not.
1165
01:06:43,879 --> 01:06:45,466
That is a Michael Jackson
jacket now.
1166
01:06:45,604 --> 01:06:47,121
I don't wanna see it.
Get that outta my face.
1167
01:06:47,259 --> 01:06:48,879
You don't have to wear it
if you don't want to.
1168
01:06:49,017 --> 01:06:52,224
Now just drink up.
Yeah, that's good, yeah.
1169
01:06:52,362 --> 01:06:55,362
Little more, little more.
That's the medicine.
1170
01:07:28,810 --> 01:07:33,431
Boo, boo, boo, boo!
1171
01:07:33,569 --> 01:07:38,259
Yeah, that's what
you sound like. Boo!
1172
01:07:38,397 --> 01:07:41,742
Oh, what? You want,
do you wanna hear Eat It?
1173
01:07:41,879 --> 01:07:43,052
- Do you?
1174
01:07:43,190 --> 01:07:46,224
Okay, here goes.
1175
01:07:51,707 --> 01:07:54,914
You're all a bunch of slaves!
1176
01:07:55,052 --> 01:07:56,500
- You're morons.
1177
01:07:56,638 --> 01:07:59,052
Idiots!
1178
01:07:59,190 --> 01:08:02,328
Oh, what, what, you paid good
money to see a show?
1179
01:08:02,466 --> 01:08:06,328
You worked your little butts off
at some dangerous factory?
1180
01:08:06,466 --> 01:08:10,569
God only knows what
they make there!
1181
01:08:10,707 --> 01:08:12,845
No one will tell you that.
1182
01:08:17,190 --> 01:08:20,431
What do they make
in the factory?
1183
01:08:20,569 --> 01:08:22,397
What do they make?
1184
01:08:24,397 --> 01:08:28,052
Do you like getting
pushed around?
1185
01:08:28,190 --> 01:08:30,604
You like letting everybody
push you around?
1186
01:08:30,741 --> 01:08:35,293
Yeah, I think you do.
I think you like it.
1187
01:08:35,431 --> 01:08:38,741
You like letting your dad
push you around?
1188
01:08:38,879 --> 01:08:40,259
No!
1189
01:08:40,397 --> 01:08:43,052
You like letting Michael Jackson
push you around?
1190
01:08:43,190 --> 01:08:46,879
- No!
1191
01:08:47,017 --> 01:08:50,569
Well, what are you
gonna do about it?
1192
01:08:50,707 --> 01:08:52,983
What are you gonna do about it?
1193
01:08:53,121 --> 01:08:57,086
- What are you gonna do?
1194
01:09:00,224 --> 01:09:03,741
So... you wanna see it?
1195
01:09:07,569 --> 01:09:09,775
Do you want me to
show it to you?
1196
01:09:12,673 --> 01:09:14,604
I'm gonna whip it out!
1197
01:09:17,121 --> 01:09:19,121
You don't think
I'll do it, do you?
1198
01:09:19,259 --> 01:09:22,328
I haven't whipped it out yet
but I'm gonna do it for you,
1199
01:09:22,466 --> 01:09:25,810
but only if you really
want me to.
1200
01:09:28,638 --> 01:09:31,155
Okay, here goes!
1201
01:09:32,810 --> 01:09:34,466
Yeah!
1202
01:09:36,293 --> 01:09:39,293
- Get off me! Get off me!
1203
01:09:43,569 --> 01:09:45,569
We're sorry
to interrupt
1204
01:09:45,706 --> 01:09:47,879
the President's address,
but we have breaking news.
1205
01:09:48,017 --> 01:09:50,741
Parody songsmith
"Weird Al" Yankovic
1206
01:09:50,879 --> 01:09:52,328
was arrested earlier tonight
1207
01:09:52,466 --> 01:09:55,362
in Miami-Dade County
for lewd behavior.
1208
01:10:01,397 --> 01:10:03,328
Okay. Here's my thought.
1209
01:10:03,466 --> 01:10:05,775
I think this is a really great
idea, I hope you like it.
1210
01:10:05,914 --> 01:10:07,500
We team up, right?
1211
01:10:07,638 --> 01:10:09,948
I'll write all the, you know,
good songs, the real ones,
1212
01:10:10,086 --> 01:10:12,466
and then you parody them
every time.
1213
01:10:12,604 --> 01:10:14,810
Bam, bam. It's perfect.
1214
01:10:16,466 --> 01:10:17,845
Sounds great.
1215
01:10:17,983 --> 01:10:19,293
It's foolproof,
we'll be unstoppable.
1216
01:10:19,431 --> 01:10:20,741
We'll be the hottest
power couple
1217
01:10:20,879 --> 01:10:22,431
in the entire music industry.
1218
01:10:22,569 --> 01:10:24,328
What would our power
couple name be?
1219
01:10:24,466 --> 01:10:28,741
I'm thinking Madankovic
or Madonnavic
1220
01:10:28,879 --> 01:10:33,052
or maybe just Madonna.
1221
01:10:33,190 --> 01:10:35,362
There'll be plenty of time
to figure all of that out.
1222
01:10:35,500 --> 01:10:37,569
But can you imagine
the world tour?
1223
01:10:37,706 --> 01:10:42,121
Madonna... with Weird Al.
1224
01:10:42,259 --> 01:10:45,845
All that money?
I just got the tingles.
1225
01:10:48,397 --> 01:10:51,224
But I mean, you're okay
with all of this, right?
1226
01:10:52,086 --> 01:10:53,810
Look, babe, I'm--
1227
01:10:55,259 --> 01:11:00,017
I'm seriously okay
with anything you wanna do.
1228
01:11:00,155 --> 01:11:03,948
I mean, look at me.
I'm a train wreck.
1229
01:11:04,086 --> 01:11:06,914
I'm barely holding it together.
1230
01:11:07,052 --> 01:11:09,741
My parents wrote me off.
1231
01:11:09,879 --> 01:11:13,879
I pushed away my band,
Dr. Demento,
1232
01:11:14,017 --> 01:11:16,466
everyone who was
important to me.
1233
01:11:18,879 --> 01:11:21,017
You're all I got.
1234
01:11:21,155 --> 01:11:24,293
You are literally the only thing
I have left in the world,
1235
01:11:24,431 --> 01:11:28,983
and if anything happened to you,
I don't know what I would do.
1236
01:11:30,948 --> 01:11:33,914
No, no! No!
1237
01:11:34,052 --> 01:11:36,293
Relax, Mr. Yankovic.
1238
01:11:36,431 --> 01:11:38,086
We only wanna borrow
your girlfriend.
1239
01:11:38,224 --> 01:11:41,052
Just stay calm and
nothing will happen to you.
1240
01:11:41,190 --> 01:11:44,190
Please, sir, please.
Whatever you do--
1241
01:11:47,879 --> 01:11:49,466
Don't hurt me.
1242
01:11:51,845 --> 01:11:53,879
- Help me!
- Madonna!
1243
01:11:57,741 --> 01:12:00,293
- Hiya!
1244
01:12:43,914 --> 01:12:47,155
- Die, die!
1245
01:12:49,224 --> 01:12:51,983
- Order up.
1246
01:12:53,741 --> 01:12:56,499
Pablo Escobar sends his regards!
1247
01:13:03,568 --> 01:13:07,810
Pablo Escobar, you just made the
biggest mistake of your life.
1248
01:13:17,224 --> 01:13:18,845
Getting eaten alive out here!
1249
01:13:20,534 --> 01:13:21,948
Got a smoke?
1250
01:13:22,948 --> 01:13:24,499
Yeah.
1251
01:13:24,637 --> 01:13:25,948
Here you go.
1252
01:13:30,706 --> 01:13:31,914
You hear that?
1253
01:13:32,052 --> 01:13:34,534
Yeah.
I think it came from over there.
1254
01:13:49,775 --> 01:13:51,052
Over there!
1255
01:13:55,845 --> 01:13:57,017
We got him.
1256
01:14:05,948 --> 01:14:07,052
Wait a second.
1257
01:14:10,155 --> 01:14:11,430
This isn't a man.
1258
01:14:12,983 --> 01:14:15,086
It's a hay boy!
1259
01:14:24,328 --> 01:14:26,017
This'll do.
1260
01:14:40,845 --> 01:14:43,224
So, then I'm stomping on him and
stomping him with my boots,
1261
01:14:43,362 --> 01:14:44,983
and he's calling for
his mom and I'm like,
1262
01:14:45,121 --> 01:14:47,121
"Stop being so extra."
You know, it's like--
1263
01:14:47,259 --> 01:14:49,741
Oh, my goodness!
1264
01:14:49,879 --> 01:14:51,328
Ha-ha!
That better not be vanilla.
1265
01:14:51,465 --> 01:14:52,706
Who was it?
1266
01:14:52,845 --> 01:14:55,259
- No, who was it?
- Escobar!
1267
01:14:55,396 --> 01:14:58,293
Oh, Mr. Yankovic.
1268
01:14:58,430 --> 01:15:01,499
We've been expecting you.
Welcome, welcome.
1269
01:15:01,637 --> 01:15:05,914
As you know, I am a huge,
huge fan of your music.
1270
01:15:06,052 --> 01:15:09,293
I got all of your albums through
the Columbia House Record Club.
1271
01:15:09,430 --> 01:15:12,845
Twelve for one penny, you guys.
Really great deal.
1272
01:15:12,983 --> 01:15:14,293
Really great deal.
1273
01:15:14,430 --> 01:15:18,155
Anyway, I--Oops.
I hope you will forgive me
1274
01:15:18,293 --> 01:15:20,224
for kidnapping
your lovely girlfriend.
1275
01:15:20,361 --> 01:15:22,845
It just seemed like
that was the only way
1276
01:15:22,983 --> 01:15:26,293
to guarantee that you would
come to my birthday party.
1277
01:15:26,430 --> 01:15:28,155
Your agent, oy,
1278
01:15:28,293 --> 01:15:29,879
a real nightmare to deal with,
if I'm gonna be honest.
1279
01:15:30,017 --> 01:15:31,568
Real vicious guy.
1280
01:15:31,706 --> 01:15:33,775
You know, I'm sorry. Let me
turn down the music, please.
1281
01:15:33,914 --> 01:15:35,361
Just a little annoying, yeah.
1282
01:15:41,396 --> 01:15:43,810
I can hear
myself think now.
1283
01:15:43,948 --> 01:15:46,086
It's so noisy up in there.
Aah, the voices.
1284
01:15:46,224 --> 01:15:48,706
Oh. Oh, where are my manners?
1285
01:15:48,845 --> 01:15:50,534
We were just about
to cut the cake.
1286
01:15:50,672 --> 01:15:51,983
May I offer you a slice?
1287
01:15:52,121 --> 01:15:53,534
Let's get him a slice, please.
1288
01:15:53,672 --> 01:15:55,327
No. No cake.
1289
01:15:55,465 --> 01:15:58,052
Okay, Mr. Diet.
1290
01:15:58,190 --> 01:15:59,396
More for us, am I right?
1291
01:15:59,534 --> 01:16:02,568
I just want my woman,
then I'll go.
1292
01:16:03,983 --> 01:16:07,603
Ah, you want your woman. Okay.
1293
01:16:07,741 --> 01:16:12,292
I'm afraid that's
not how it works, Mr. Yankovic.
1294
01:16:12,430 --> 01:16:15,292
You see, you can't leave
until you perform for me.
1295
01:16:15,430 --> 01:16:17,327
- Do you understand me?
- No dice.
1296
01:16:17,465 --> 01:16:19,914
Not gonna happen.
I'm not your monkey.
1297
01:16:20,052 --> 01:16:21,259
I can do Borderline.
1298
01:16:21,396 --> 01:16:23,845
No, I don't want that.
I want him.
1299
01:16:23,983 --> 01:16:27,155
Mr. Yankovic, why-why
all the drama?
1300
01:16:27,292 --> 01:16:29,258
I mean, you're already here.
1301
01:16:29,396 --> 01:16:32,810
Just perform one measly song for
us and then you guys can leave.
1302
01:16:32,948 --> 01:16:36,086
Come on, just one song, no?
1303
01:16:36,224 --> 01:16:38,845
How about that wonderful
1304
01:16:38,983 --> 01:16:41,534
Michael Jackson parody
that you did, huh?
1305
01:16:42,775 --> 01:16:45,845
That's not a parody!
1306
01:17:12,223 --> 01:17:16,258
Stop! Stop! It's my birthday!
Stop it! Stop it!
1307
01:17:18,672 --> 01:17:21,361
Well, first off, rude. Okay?
1308
01:17:21,499 --> 01:17:23,223
And second of all,
if you really,
1309
01:17:23,361 --> 01:17:25,775
really don't wanna entertain us,
then fine.
1310
01:17:25,914 --> 01:17:27,499
You can just leave.
1311
01:17:29,327 --> 01:17:32,845
Wait, so, so we can just go?
1312
01:17:32,983 --> 01:17:35,948
Yeah, you can go whenever
you want.
1313
01:17:36,672 --> 01:17:38,396
Psych!
1314
01:17:38,534 --> 01:17:40,327
No!
1315
01:17:44,914 --> 01:17:46,499
Very unfortunate.
1316
01:17:46,637 --> 01:17:50,672
He was like a God among men,
and now just worm food.
1317
01:17:50,810 --> 01:17:52,361
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
1318
01:17:52,499 --> 01:17:55,568
Anyway, back to the party.
Should we cut the cake or...?
1319
01:17:58,017 --> 01:18:01,534
Hey, Pablo,
you forgot one thing.
1320
01:18:03,361 --> 01:18:05,189
I'm certified platinum.
1321
01:18:08,155 --> 01:18:09,603
Hey, Escobar.
1322
01:18:10,637 --> 01:18:11,948
Eat it.
1323
01:18:20,189 --> 01:18:22,810
Okay, let's get outta here.
1324
01:18:26,121 --> 01:18:28,465
I just gotta get this medallion.
1325
01:18:28,603 --> 01:18:33,430
Okay.
Oh, it's in there. Ah.
1326
01:18:33,568 --> 01:18:37,154
Oh, gross, gross, gross,
gross, gross!
1327
01:18:41,361 --> 01:18:42,879
You just killed Pablo Escobar!
1328
01:18:43,017 --> 01:18:45,810
I know! I've killed so many
people this week.
1329
01:18:45,948 --> 01:18:49,568
Before last Thursday,
I never really killed anyone.
1330
01:18:49,706 --> 01:18:53,568
The things we do for love, huh?
Okay, come on. We gotta go.
1331
01:18:53,706 --> 01:18:57,534
Well, now, wait, wait, wait,
hear me out here.
1332
01:18:57,672 --> 01:19:01,672
With Escobar
out of the picture, maybe...
1333
01:19:01,810 --> 01:19:03,499
maybe we can run
the drug cartel.
1334
01:19:03,637 --> 01:19:04,983
Wait, what?
1335
01:19:05,120 --> 01:19:07,052
Supply and demand, baby.
1336
01:19:07,189 --> 01:19:09,741
Look, someone's gotta run
the cartel.
1337
01:19:09,879 --> 01:19:11,568
May as well be me. Us.
1338
01:19:11,706 --> 01:19:14,465
You can't be serious.
What about all our plans?
1339
01:19:14,603 --> 01:19:16,810
Writing songs together,
touring together.
1340
01:19:16,948 --> 01:19:19,914
Why rule the music industry
when you can rule the world?
1341
01:19:20,052 --> 01:19:22,948
All the money and power
is right here.
1342
01:19:23,085 --> 01:19:25,361
Madonna, that's...
1343
01:19:25,499 --> 01:19:27,258
No. No way.
1344
01:19:27,396 --> 01:19:31,430
My life is in America, and my
family would never forgive me
1345
01:19:31,568 --> 01:19:33,568
if I became involved
in a drug cartel.
1346
01:19:33,706 --> 01:19:36,568
Well, your family's
already disowned you, Al.
1347
01:19:36,706 --> 01:19:39,845
I'm all you've got, remember?
1348
01:19:39,983 --> 01:19:42,258
And we'll still be together.
1349
01:19:42,396 --> 01:19:45,120
I'll be the head of the cartel,
1350
01:19:45,258 --> 01:19:47,154
and you can be my number two.
1351
01:19:48,914 --> 01:19:50,154
Your number two.
1352
01:19:52,568 --> 01:19:56,775
I can't believe this.
Dr. Demento was right.
1353
01:19:56,914 --> 01:19:58,430
You were just using me
1354
01:19:58,568 --> 01:20:00,465
to further your own career,
weren't you?
1355
01:20:02,741 --> 01:20:05,810
Well... yeah.
1356
01:20:07,258 --> 01:20:10,292
My relationship with you
was a business decision...
1357
01:20:10,430 --> 01:20:11,983
and so is this.
1358
01:20:12,120 --> 01:20:14,983
It's all just business.
1359
01:20:17,672 --> 01:20:18,879
Wow.
1360
01:20:21,017 --> 01:20:24,361
Well, okay, then.
1361
01:20:26,120 --> 01:20:28,879
I guess--I guess that's it.
1362
01:20:34,430 --> 01:20:35,983
Have a nice life.
1363
01:20:44,396 --> 01:20:45,430
Whoa!
1364
01:20:47,120 --> 01:20:50,706
I can't let you leave, Al.
You know too much.
1365
01:20:50,845 --> 01:20:52,430
What are you talking about?
1366
01:20:53,879 --> 01:20:56,051
Stop that!
1367
01:20:56,189 --> 01:20:59,361
We could have made
such a beautiful team,
1368
01:20:59,499 --> 01:21:00,983
and you know what?
1369
01:21:01,120 --> 01:21:03,327
I decided I do like Weirdonna
better than Madonnavic.
1370
01:21:05,016 --> 01:21:07,327
But that's all over now.
1371
01:21:07,465 --> 01:21:11,085
Our partnership is officially dissolved.
1372
01:21:13,948 --> 01:21:15,499
Goodbye, Madonna.
1373
01:21:34,258 --> 01:21:37,706
Yeah. I had
a lot of soul-searching to do.
1374
01:21:37,845 --> 01:21:41,361
Was I a parody singer?
An original artist?
1375
01:21:41,499 --> 01:21:44,120
The most dangerous
assassin in the world?
1376
01:21:44,258 --> 01:21:46,361
Maybe I had lost my way.
1377
01:21:46,499 --> 01:21:48,085
Don't get me wrong,
there were things
1378
01:21:48,223 --> 01:21:50,361
I loved about being Weird Al.
1379
01:21:50,499 --> 01:21:52,189
The fame, the money,
1380
01:21:52,327 --> 01:21:54,982
the fancy dinners,
joining the Illuminati,
1381
01:21:55,120 --> 01:21:57,603
going to the Illuminati
holiday party,
1382
01:21:57,741 --> 01:22:01,258
learning the truth about
the moon landing and JFK.
1383
01:22:01,396 --> 01:22:05,085
But without my family,
none of that mattered.
1384
01:22:05,223 --> 01:22:07,430
I knew what I had to do.
1385
01:22:22,913 --> 01:22:25,085
There it is, pretty simple.
1386
01:22:26,775 --> 01:22:31,051
When the light turns green,
you turn this crank to the left.
1387
01:22:31,189 --> 01:22:35,361
When it turns red, you stop
and pull this lever down.
1388
01:22:35,499 --> 01:22:38,465
When it turns green again,
you push this lever up
1389
01:22:38,603 --> 01:22:42,223
and turn this crank
back to the right.
1390
01:22:42,361 --> 01:22:46,016
Yep, that's about it.
Lunch is at 12:30.
1391
01:22:47,637 --> 01:22:49,258
Hey, can I ask you a question?
1392
01:22:50,292 --> 01:22:51,499
Sure.
1393
01:22:52,947 --> 01:22:55,878
What do we make here?
1394
01:22:56,016 --> 01:23:00,396
Your old man
said you was funny.
1395
01:23:00,534 --> 01:23:03,775
That's a good one.
"What do we make here?"
1396
01:23:33,534 --> 01:23:36,706
Somebody help! My leg!
1397
01:23:36,844 --> 01:23:38,120
Oh, uh...
1398
01:23:38,258 --> 01:23:42,396
It's burning me! Oh, my leg!
1399
01:23:42,534 --> 01:23:45,913
Ahh! Ahh! It burns!
1400
01:23:48,292 --> 01:23:49,706
Hey.
1401
01:23:49,844 --> 01:23:51,878
Cleanup crew to machine room.
1402
01:23:52,016 --> 01:23:53,810
You got a minute?
1403
01:23:53,947 --> 01:23:56,465
Well, what?
1404
01:23:58,499 --> 01:24:01,051
You want to take
a swing, old man?
1405
01:24:04,361 --> 01:24:05,534
No.
1406
01:24:07,775 --> 01:24:12,568
Just... what are you doing here?
1407
01:24:12,706 --> 01:24:15,913
What am I doing here? Really?
1408
01:24:17,396 --> 01:24:20,154
All my life, all I wanted to do
is please you,
1409
01:24:20,292 --> 01:24:22,016
but I was never enough.
1410
01:24:22,154 --> 01:24:25,120
You were always disappointed
in your "weird" son.
1411
01:24:25,258 --> 01:24:28,534
So yeah, I gave up
the most successful career
1412
01:24:28,672 --> 01:24:31,741
in music history to come work
at this miserable factory
1413
01:24:31,878 --> 01:24:33,361
because it's what
you've always wanted
1414
01:24:33,499 --> 01:24:35,774
and what, it is still
not enough for you?
1415
01:24:35,913 --> 01:24:37,534
I appreciate what you're doing.
1416
01:24:38,844 --> 01:24:41,085
This isn't the life for you.
1417
01:24:41,223 --> 01:24:43,809
Oh, what? So I'm not even
good at turning cranks now.
1418
01:24:43,947 --> 01:24:45,430
No, Alfred, that's
not what I'm saying.
1419
01:24:45,568 --> 01:24:47,292
What are you saying, then?
1420
01:24:52,913 --> 01:24:55,223
I was wrong to stand
in your way.
1421
01:24:57,706 --> 01:25:00,258
This isn't what you
were meant for.
1422
01:25:01,913 --> 01:25:03,258
You're special.
1423
01:25:04,499 --> 01:25:08,878
You're Weird Al,
and you're my son.
1424
01:25:11,568 --> 01:25:12,982
And I'm, uh...
1425
01:25:14,154 --> 01:25:15,809
I'm proud of you.
1426
01:25:23,051 --> 01:25:24,809
What are you doing?
1427
01:25:29,947 --> 01:25:30,878
Dad!
1428
01:25:37,568 --> 01:25:40,878
♪ Jingle bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg ♪
1429
01:25:41,016 --> 01:25:45,327
♪ The Batmobile lost a wheel
And the Joker ran away, hey! ♪
1430
01:25:46,672 --> 01:25:47,982
Yeah, that's
an absolute classic.
1431
01:25:48,120 --> 01:25:50,705
Whew.
1432
01:25:50,844 --> 01:25:53,534
Well, so Mom tells me you're
dating that singer Madonna.
1433
01:25:53,672 --> 01:25:57,016
Oh, um, no, we-we broke up.
1434
01:25:57,154 --> 01:26:00,051
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
What happened?
1435
01:26:00,189 --> 01:26:02,465
Yeah. It's-it's complicated.
1436
01:26:02,603 --> 01:26:05,361
Well, don't worry. There's
plenty of other fish in the sea.
1437
01:26:05,499 --> 01:26:09,189
So, so, what is it like?
What's it like being you?
1438
01:26:09,327 --> 01:26:12,637
You know, world-famous
superstar and all?
1439
01:26:12,774 --> 01:26:19,774
Well, um, it's-it's fun,
but it's also a lot of pressure.
1440
01:26:19,913 --> 01:26:23,327
The hardest part for me is
just coming up with new songs.
1441
01:26:23,465 --> 01:26:26,705
I-I never know where my
next idea's gonna come from.
1442
01:26:26,844 --> 01:26:30,154
And yeah, I-I honestly, I don't
know if I have it in me anymore.
1443
01:26:30,292 --> 01:26:33,258
Oh, nonsense.
I'm sure that next big idea
1444
01:26:33,396 --> 01:26:35,913
is just right there
in front of you.
1445
01:26:39,430 --> 01:26:42,085
Well, you may have noticed
I've put on a little weight.
1446
01:26:42,223 --> 01:26:43,705
Don't be silly, Ma.
You look great.
1447
01:26:43,844 --> 01:26:45,051
You do, dear. I think you look
1448
01:26:45,189 --> 01:26:46,774
wonderful with a few
extra pounds.
1449
01:26:46,913 --> 01:26:48,499
I think you're pleasingly plump.
1450
01:26:48,637 --> 01:26:51,534
Oh, Nick. You know I'm fat.
1451
01:26:51,671 --> 01:26:53,774
I'm fat, you know it.
1452
01:26:58,292 --> 01:26:59,465
What?
1453
01:26:59,603 --> 01:27:00,809
Wow.
1454
01:27:00,947 --> 01:27:02,844
Dad, can I ask you something?
1455
01:27:04,603 --> 01:27:08,499
Mom told me growing up,
you always had your reasons
1456
01:27:08,636 --> 01:27:10,534
for being so hard on me.
1457
01:27:14,258 --> 01:27:16,292
I think it's time, dear.
1458
01:27:19,396 --> 01:27:20,878
All right.
1459
01:27:34,361 --> 01:27:38,396
Oh, whoa.
1460
01:27:38,534 --> 01:27:42,602
I wrote it all down.
This should explain everything.
1461
01:27:42,740 --> 01:27:46,327
Okay, do you have maybe
a-a photo album
1462
01:27:46,465 --> 01:27:48,534
or we can just go through
the bullet points together?
1463
01:27:48,671 --> 01:27:51,809
I don't have a photo album,
but I have a sketchbook.
1464
01:27:51,947 --> 01:27:53,534
A sketchbook?
1465
01:27:55,844 --> 01:27:59,327
You see, we didn't
have any cameras
1466
01:27:59,465 --> 01:28:03,154
when I was growing up because...
1467
01:28:05,809 --> 01:28:08,051
I was raised Amish.
1468
01:28:08,982 --> 01:28:10,567
What, really?
1469
01:28:10,705 --> 01:28:14,430
Yep. I grew up Amish.
1470
01:28:14,567 --> 01:28:17,292
Lived in the community for
the first 16 years of my life.
1471
01:28:17,430 --> 01:28:20,534
And frankly, I don't think I
ever really fit in
1472
01:28:20,671 --> 01:28:23,258
because, well, if
I'm being honest,
1473
01:28:23,396 --> 01:28:27,774
I was just as weird as you
when I was a kid.
1474
01:28:27,913 --> 01:28:30,292
Yeah, I even made up new words
to the hymns
1475
01:28:30,430 --> 01:28:32,430
that we sang during
church service.
1476
01:28:32,567 --> 01:28:34,913
- That didn't go over too well.
1477
01:28:37,085 --> 01:28:39,499
That boy will never learn.
1478
01:28:39,636 --> 01:28:41,189
And then when I was
a few years older,
1479
01:28:41,327 --> 01:28:43,396
I was able to go on rumspringa.
1480
01:28:43,533 --> 01:28:46,223
I finally had a chance to go
out into the great big world
1481
01:28:46,361 --> 01:28:50,051
and see what it had to offer.
1482
01:28:50,189 --> 01:28:52,740
And that's when I saw
the love of my life,
1483
01:28:52,878 --> 01:28:55,913
a 1933 Excelsior,
1484
01:28:56,051 --> 01:28:59,844
the finest accordion
there ever was.
1485
01:28:59,982 --> 01:29:04,361
Cost me every penny I had in
the world, but it was worth it.
1486
01:29:04,499 --> 01:29:06,740
So wait-wait-wait,
you had an accordion?
1487
01:29:06,878 --> 01:29:10,327
I did, I did, I did,
I was pretty good at it too.
1488
01:29:10,465 --> 01:29:12,982
I was not bad. I was
not bad at all.
1489
01:29:13,120 --> 01:29:14,602
I thought I was
the love of your life.
1490
01:29:14,740 --> 01:29:16,740
Oh, honey, you come
later, please. Anyway...
1491
01:29:16,878 --> 01:29:18,602
So, I tried for months
to make it
1492
01:29:18,740 --> 01:29:20,189
as a professional musician,
1493
01:29:20,327 --> 01:29:22,016
but it just wasn't
in God's plan.
1494
01:29:22,154 --> 01:29:23,636
Get outta here!
1495
01:29:23,774 --> 01:29:26,327
Failure mocked me
at every waking moment.
1496
01:29:26,465 --> 01:29:28,154
Hey, there, squeeze box.
1497
01:29:28,292 --> 01:29:30,602
I knew that I had to
give up my dream
1498
01:29:30,740 --> 01:29:33,671
and go back to the only life
that I'd ever known.
1499
01:29:33,809 --> 01:29:36,430
But when I tried to come back
to the Amish community,
1500
01:29:36,567 --> 01:29:39,120
well, the second they
saw that squeeze box,
1501
01:29:39,258 --> 01:29:41,982
I was immediately excommunicated,
1502
01:29:42,120 --> 01:29:44,085
banished forever.
1503
01:29:44,223 --> 01:29:46,292
My whole world
was torn away from me.
1504
01:29:46,430 --> 01:29:48,361
All I knew was
I never wanted to see
1505
01:29:48,498 --> 01:29:52,292
another accordion again,
for as long as I lived.
1506
01:29:52,430 --> 01:29:54,740
So I got a job at the factory,
1507
01:29:54,878 --> 01:29:58,567
a place where I knew you could
get an honest day's wages
1508
01:29:58,705 --> 01:30:00,567
for an honest day's work.
1509
01:30:00,705 --> 01:30:02,498
And that's when I met...
1510
01:30:03,636 --> 01:30:05,361
the true love of my life.
1511
01:30:06,602 --> 01:30:08,258
Your mother.
1512
01:30:08,396 --> 01:30:09,774
Wow.
1513
01:30:09,913 --> 01:30:12,878
Dad, I--I never knew.
1514
01:30:14,740 --> 01:30:17,361
Of course you didn't.
How could you? I just told you.
1515
01:30:17,498 --> 01:30:20,464
I just-- The whole
story was about--
1516
01:30:20,602 --> 01:30:24,982
Anyway, look, son, I hope
that you can forgive me
1517
01:30:25,120 --> 01:30:27,016
and I hope you understand.
1518
01:30:28,774 --> 01:30:30,258
I lost everything
1519
01:30:30,396 --> 01:30:34,085
and I didn't want you
to suffer the same sad fate.
1520
01:30:36,292 --> 01:30:38,327
I didn't want you
to get your dreams crushed,
1521
01:30:38,464 --> 01:30:41,913
so I thought I should
crush your ideas
1522
01:30:42,051 --> 01:30:44,189
before they could
turn into dreams.
1523
01:30:47,223 --> 01:30:50,051
Yeah, that makes sense.
1524
01:30:52,258 --> 01:30:54,223
Oh.
1525
01:30:54,361 --> 01:30:57,120
Oh, that's nothing. You can just
throw that thing out, that's--
1526
01:30:57,258 --> 01:30:58,809
-"Amish Paradise?"
- Nope.
1527
01:30:58,947 --> 01:31:00,292
Just tear that up in little
pieces and get rid of that.
1528
01:31:00,429 --> 01:31:03,567
Wait, Dad...
are these song lyrics?
1529
01:31:03,705 --> 01:31:05,429
That's just something stupid
I wrote a while ago.
1530
01:31:05,567 --> 01:31:07,154
It doesn't matter.
You can just--
1531
01:31:07,292 --> 01:31:09,947
No, no, no, Dad, these lyrics...
1532
01:31:11,292 --> 01:31:14,361
they're like a window
into your soul.
1533
01:31:14,498 --> 01:31:16,429
I don't think I've ever felt
more connected to you than this
1534
01:31:16,567 --> 01:31:18,292
in my entire life.
1535
01:31:21,361 --> 01:31:23,636
Well, I never had the chance
to perform it myself
1536
01:31:23,774 --> 01:31:26,154
because the dream
had already died.
1537
01:31:26,292 --> 01:31:30,016
I thought maybe someday,
but no, never mind.
1538
01:31:30,154 --> 01:31:34,360
Never mind. I guess no one
will ever hear this song.
1539
01:31:37,913 --> 01:31:41,395
That's it! That's it!
1540
01:31:41,533 --> 01:31:43,051
Mom!
1541
01:31:43,189 --> 01:31:45,120
What did you say like
a minute ago, about being fat?
1542
01:31:45,258 --> 01:31:46,567
We're onto something else now.
1543
01:31:46,705 --> 01:31:48,705
We were kind of having
a moment here, son.
1544
01:31:48,844 --> 01:31:50,292
Read the room.
1545
01:31:50,429 --> 01:31:53,120
Yeah, I mean, I wrote the book
and did the whole thing.
1546
01:31:53,258 --> 01:31:54,636
- Alfy!
- The drawing.
1547
01:31:54,774 --> 01:31:56,120
Listen to your father
when he's talking!
1548
01:31:56,258 --> 01:31:57,878
Does anything register with you?
1549
01:31:58,016 --> 01:32:00,982
Can you see my lips moving?
Nothing gets through to you.
1550
01:32:01,120 --> 01:32:03,223
♪ We been spendin'
Most our lives ♪
1551
01:32:03,360 --> 01:32:06,429
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1552
01:32:06,567 --> 01:32:08,913
♪ I've churned butter
Once or twice ♪
1553
01:32:09,051 --> 01:32:12,189
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1554
01:32:12,326 --> 01:32:14,636
♪ It's hard work
And sacrifice ♪
1555
01:32:14,774 --> 01:32:18,258
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1556
01:32:18,395 --> 01:32:21,051
♪ We sell quilts
At discount price ♪
1557
01:32:21,189 --> 01:32:23,740
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1558
01:32:23,878 --> 01:32:26,913
♪ Hitchin' up the buggy
Churnin' lots of butter ♪
1559
01:32:27,051 --> 01:32:29,602
♪ Raised a barn on Monday
Soon I'll raise another ♪
1560
01:32:29,740 --> 01:32:31,326
♪ Think you're really
Righteous? ♪
1561
01:32:31,464 --> 01:32:33,464
♪ Think you're pure in heart? ♪
1562
01:32:33,602 --> 01:32:35,671
♪ Well, I know I'm a million
Times as humble as thou art ♪
1563
01:32:35,809 --> 01:32:37,189
♪ I'm the pious guy ♪
1564
01:32:37,326 --> 01:32:38,671
♪ The little Amlettes
Wanna be like ♪
1565
01:32:38,809 --> 01:32:40,154
♪ On my knees day and night ♪
1566
01:32:40,291 --> 01:32:41,809
♪ Scorin' points
For the afterlife ♪
1567
01:32:41,947 --> 01:32:43,705
♪ So don't be vain
And don't be whiny ♪
1568
01:32:43,844 --> 01:32:45,464
♪ Or else, my brother ♪
1569
01:32:45,602 --> 01:32:47,395
♪ I might have to get
Medieval on your heinie ♪
1570
01:32:47,533 --> 01:32:50,085
♪ We been spendin'
Most our lives ♪
1571
01:32:50,223 --> 01:32:53,291
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1572
01:32:53,429 --> 01:32:55,360
♪ We're all crazy Mennonites ♪
1573
01:32:55,498 --> 01:32:57,051
♪ Livin' in an
Amish paradise... ♪
1574
01:32:57,189 --> 01:32:59,154
Man, I shoulda kept
the publishing rights.
1575
01:32:59,291 --> 01:33:01,326
♪ There's no cops
Or traffic lights ♪
1576
01:33:01,464 --> 01:33:04,705
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1577
01:33:04,844 --> 01:33:07,636
♪ But you'd probably
Think it bites ♪
1578
01:33:07,774 --> 01:33:10,774
♪ Livin' in an Amish paradise ♪
1579
01:33:15,326 --> 01:33:16,257
Yecch!
1580
01:33:29,464 --> 01:33:31,913
It is so good to
have you back, man.
1581
01:33:32,051 --> 01:33:33,671
Yeah, I was starting
to miss the weird one.
1582
01:33:33,809 --> 01:33:36,844
Oh, I cannot believe
I ever said that to you guys.
1583
01:33:36,982 --> 01:33:38,051
I am so, so sorry.
1584
01:33:38,189 --> 01:33:39,636
Hey, you're an artist.
1585
01:33:39,774 --> 01:33:41,947
Being an abusive jerk
is all part of the process.
1586
01:33:42,085 --> 01:33:43,774
Yeah, name me one
creative genius
1587
01:33:43,913 --> 01:33:45,395
that doesn't have
a checkered past
1588
01:33:45,533 --> 01:33:48,120
involving drugs, alcohol
and a murderous rampage
1589
01:33:48,257 --> 01:33:49,844
through the heart of the jungle.
1590
01:33:49,982 --> 01:33:52,429
Yeah, I guess you're right.
1591
01:33:52,567 --> 01:33:54,326
I love you guys so much!
1592
01:33:55,809 --> 01:33:57,982
Yeah, yeah. See you out there.
1593
01:34:00,844 --> 01:34:02,705
Dr. D, you came!
1594
01:34:02,844 --> 01:34:05,395
Of course I came. I wouldn't
have missed it for the world.
1595
01:34:05,533 --> 01:34:07,878
And well, needless to say,
you were amazing.
1596
01:34:08,016 --> 01:34:10,360
Thank you. And I-I also,
1597
01:34:10,498 --> 01:34:12,844
I really wanna say
the way I treated you--
1598
01:34:12,982 --> 01:34:15,016
Stop. I'm gonna stop you
right there, okay?
1599
01:34:15,154 --> 01:34:16,533
No apologies necessary.
1600
01:34:16,671 --> 01:34:18,947
I have been thinking
a lot about what you said,
1601
01:34:19,085 --> 01:34:22,016
and I realized, Al, that...
1602
01:34:24,429 --> 01:34:27,913
you are like a son
to me and, uh...
1603
01:34:28,051 --> 01:34:31,567
Well, I never really had any
children of my own, so, uh...
1604
01:34:37,913 --> 01:34:39,464
I want to adopt you.
1605
01:34:44,533 --> 01:34:46,085
Will you be my son?
1606
01:34:47,636 --> 01:34:49,291
Wow.
1607
01:34:49,429 --> 01:34:54,533
Um, you-- I--I just
made up with my dad.
1608
01:34:56,602 --> 01:34:57,740
You d--You did?
1609
01:34:57,878 --> 01:34:59,257
- Yeah.
- That's, wow. Okay.
1610
01:34:59,395 --> 01:35:00,740
Yeah. So yeah, we-we talked.
1611
01:35:00,878 --> 01:35:02,982
- Wow.
- We're-we're all good now.
1612
01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:04,291
Cool, the coolest. that's great.
1613
01:35:04,429 --> 01:35:06,360
- That's great.
- It is great.
1614
01:35:06,498 --> 01:35:07,844
Oh, good!
1615
01:35:07,982 --> 01:35:08,844
- Yeah.
- Cool.
1616
01:35:08,982 --> 01:35:10,291
Wow, that's so cool.
1617
01:35:10,429 --> 01:35:12,360
That's really cool.
That's so cool.
1618
01:35:12,498 --> 01:35:14,602
My-- my category
is coming up really soon,
1619
01:35:14,740 --> 01:35:16,429
I think, so I should
probably go change?
1620
01:35:16,567 --> 01:35:18,016
You should--oh, you
should go. Yeah, definitely.
1621
01:35:18,153 --> 01:35:19,533
It's so good to see you.
1622
01:35:19,671 --> 01:35:21,429
- Thank you so much for coming.
- Okay.
1623
01:35:21,567 --> 01:35:24,705
- So good. Take care.
- All right.
1624
01:35:31,257 --> 01:35:32,844
Please welcome to the stage
1625
01:35:32,982 --> 01:35:34,705
Grammy Award winner
Diana Ross
1626
01:35:34,844 --> 01:35:39,533
and Intercontinental
WWF Champion Hulk Hogan.
1627
01:35:39,671 --> 01:35:42,774
As artists, we learn
to express ourselves
1628
01:35:42,913 --> 01:35:44,533
through our instruments.
1629
01:35:44,671 --> 01:35:48,913
Louis Armstrong had his trumpet
and Jimi Hendrix had his guitar.
1630
01:35:49,051 --> 01:35:51,947
And well, my instrument
is my voice.
1631
01:35:55,671 --> 01:35:57,119
That's right, Diana.
1632
01:35:57,257 --> 01:36:00,222
And my instruments
are these 24-inch pythons.
1633
01:36:00,360 --> 01:36:03,809
- Whoo!
1634
01:36:03,947 --> 01:36:08,016
No, no, Mary.
That's an oily man.
1635
01:36:10,222 --> 01:36:14,016
And now, the award
you've all been waiting for.
1636
01:36:14,153 --> 01:36:17,498
In the category of "Perhaps
Not Technically the Best
1637
01:36:17,636 --> 01:36:20,878
But Arguably the Most
Famous Accordion Player
1638
01:36:21,016 --> 01:36:24,705
in an Extremely
Specific Genre of Music."
1639
01:36:24,844 --> 01:36:26,705
And the award goes to...
1640
01:36:35,326 --> 01:36:37,498
"Weird Al" Yankovic!
1641
01:37:04,774 --> 01:37:07,188
Oh, thank you.
1642
01:37:07,326 --> 01:37:10,878
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, this is incredible.
1643
01:37:11,015 --> 01:37:12,774
This award means so much to me,
1644
01:37:12,913 --> 01:37:15,636
and in front of all
the billions of people watching
1645
01:37:15,774 --> 01:37:20,188
around the world right now,
all I want to say is...
1646
01:37:20,326 --> 01:37:22,636
See, Dad? I told you!
1647
01:37:22,774 --> 01:37:25,050
Yeah! In your face, old man!
1648
01:37:25,188 --> 01:37:28,429
- Huh?
1649
01:37:28,567 --> 01:37:33,015
There are so many people here
tonight that I need to thank.
1650
01:37:33,153 --> 01:37:36,671
People who mean the world to me
and who made me
1651
01:37:36,809 --> 01:37:38,878
everything that I am today.
1652
01:37:39,015 --> 01:37:40,464
But they know who they are,
1653
01:37:40,602 --> 01:37:43,947
and I'm gonna
thank them all later privately.
1654
01:37:44,084 --> 01:37:46,878
Okay, I'm just gonna
wrap things up.
1655
01:37:47,015 --> 01:37:48,533
I don't have much time left.
1656
01:37:48,671 --> 01:37:51,878
I-- Y'know, I'm gonna be around
for a good long time.
1657
01:37:52,015 --> 01:37:53,878
You don't have to
worry about that.
1658
01:37:54,015 --> 01:37:56,222
You're not gonna get rid of me
that easy.
1659
01:38:00,464 --> 01:38:03,636
- Waiting on your signal.
- Stand by.
1660
01:38:03,774 --> 01:38:07,981
But in my remaining few seconds,
I just wanna say...
1661
01:38:09,947 --> 01:38:12,153
live the life you wanna live.
1662
01:38:12,291 --> 01:38:15,153
You know, be as weird
as you wanna be.
1663
01:38:15,291 --> 01:38:17,981
Believe me, you will never
find true happiness
1664
01:38:18,119 --> 01:38:22,153
until you can truly
accept who you are.
1665
01:38:22,291 --> 01:38:25,981
And standing before all of you,
right here, right now,
1666
01:38:26,119 --> 01:38:30,636
I can honestly say I have
never been more happy
1667
01:38:30,774 --> 01:38:34,326
or more proud in my entire life.
1668
01:38:35,878 --> 01:38:37,050
Thank you.
1669
01:38:51,844 --> 01:38:54,257
Thank you! Thank you!
1670
01:39:00,844 --> 01:39:02,395
Take the shot.
1671
01:39:08,671 --> 01:39:11,050
No!
1672
01:42:13,843 --> 01:42:18,360
♪ You thought you knew me?
Well, you better guess again ♪
1673
01:42:18,498 --> 01:42:21,188
♪ Now you know
The whole story ♪
1674
01:42:21,326 --> 01:42:23,636
♪ Now you've heard it all
My friend ♪
1675
01:42:23,773 --> 01:42:29,498
♪ You know all my dirty secrets
'Cause we spilled all the tea ♪
1676
01:42:29,636 --> 01:42:32,153
♪ There's nothin' left to hide
Baby ♪
1677
01:42:32,291 --> 01:42:36,153
♪ How you like the real me? ♪
1678
01:42:36,291 --> 01:42:41,326
♪ Yeah, the truth came out
We finally removed all doubt ♪
1679
01:42:41,464 --> 01:42:45,704
♪ If it's in a movie
It's gotta be true ♪
1680
01:42:45,843 --> 01:42:47,153
♪ Aw, yeah ♪
1681
01:42:47,291 --> 01:42:49,395
♪ If you never knew it before ♪
1682
01:42:49,533 --> 01:42:51,808
♪ You don't have
To wonder anymore ♪
1683
01:42:51,946 --> 01:42:56,464
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1684
01:42:58,222 --> 01:43:00,222
♪ Thought I oughta tell ya so ♪
1685
01:43:00,360 --> 01:43:02,291
♪ I shoulda done it long ago ♪
1686
01:43:02,429 --> 01:43:08,222
♪ But now you know
Now, now you know ♪
1687
01:43:08,360 --> 01:43:11,119
♪ Yeah, that's how it all
Went down, bro ♪
1688
01:43:11,257 --> 01:43:13,739
♪ We've proof-checked
Every fact ♪
1689
01:43:13,877 --> 01:43:16,912
♪ If you still
Don't believe it ♪
1690
01:43:17,050 --> 01:43:19,981
♪ Well
No skin off my back ♪
1691
01:43:20,119 --> 01:43:22,291
♪ Just don't call me a liar ♪
1692
01:43:22,429 --> 01:43:25,050
♪ 'Cause shut up
You weren't there ♪
1693
01:43:25,188 --> 01:43:28,188
♪ This movie is now canon ♪
1694
01:43:28,326 --> 01:43:31,739
♪ Every word is true, I swear ♪
1695
01:43:31,877 --> 01:43:33,670
♪ We only changed one thing ♪
1696
01:43:33,808 --> 01:43:37,188
♪ I really did play
Live Aid with Queen ♪
1697
01:43:37,326 --> 01:43:40,050
♪ And I blew 'em off
The freakin' stage ♪
1698
01:43:40,188 --> 01:43:42,635
♪ That's right ♪
1699
01:43:42,773 --> 01:43:45,119
♪ If you never knew it before ♪
1700
01:43:45,257 --> 01:43:47,119
♪ You don't have
To wonder anymore ♪
1701
01:43:47,257 --> 01:43:51,912
♪ 'Cause now you know
Now you know ♪
1702
01:43:53,773 --> 01:43:55,773
♪ Thought I oughta tell ya so ♪
1703
01:43:55,912 --> 01:43:57,704
♪ I shoulda done it long ago ♪
1704
01:43:57,843 --> 01:44:03,084
♪ But now you know
Now, now you know ♪
1705
01:44:16,429 --> 01:44:18,395
♪ Aw, what a wild ride ♪
1706
01:44:18,533 --> 01:44:21,843
♪ How about that part
Where I died? ♪
1707
01:44:21,981 --> 01:44:25,015
♪ I was not expecting that! ♪
1708
01:44:26,739 --> 01:44:30,015
♪ But I'm back, baby ♪
1709
01:44:30,153 --> 01:44:34,946
♪ Here to wreak my zombie
Apocalypse upon you all ♪
1710
01:44:35,084 --> 01:44:40,015
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1711
01:44:40,153 --> 01:44:42,050
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1712
01:44:42,188 --> 01:44:43,912
♪ You know it ♪
1713
01:44:44,050 --> 01:44:45,946
♪ And the union-scale
Background singers sing ♪
1714
01:44:46,084 --> 01:44:51,084
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1715
01:44:51,222 --> 01:44:53,153
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1716
01:44:53,291 --> 01:44:56,084
♪ No fabrications
No exaggerations ♪
1717
01:44:56,222 --> 01:44:57,773
♪ It's the gospel truth ♪
1718
01:44:57,912 --> 01:45:02,050
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1719
01:45:02,188 --> 01:45:04,946
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1720
01:45:05,084 --> 01:45:08,291
♪ Startin' to feel like this
Song is slightly repetitive ♪
1721
01:45:08,429 --> 01:45:13,153
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1722
01:45:13,291 --> 01:45:16,498
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1723
01:45:25,877 --> 01:45:27,360
Wow, fake-out ending!
1724
01:45:27,498 --> 01:45:32,291
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1725
01:45:32,429 --> 01:45:34,566
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1726
01:45:34,704 --> 01:45:37,084
♪ Look at all these people
In the credits ♪
1727
01:45:37,222 --> 01:45:38,946
♪ We had to pay 'em all ♪
1728
01:45:39,084 --> 01:45:42,946
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1729
01:45:43,084 --> 01:45:45,015
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1730
01:45:45,153 --> 01:45:46,773
♪ Oh hey, I remember him ♪
1731
01:45:46,912 --> 01:45:49,704
♪ Met him on the set
Seemed like a really nice guy ♪
1732
01:45:49,843 --> 01:45:54,050
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1733
01:45:54,188 --> 01:45:55,981
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1734
01:45:56,119 --> 01:45:58,843
♪ All these songs were in
The movie you just watched ♪
1735
01:45:58,981 --> 01:46:00,429
♪ Including this one ♪
1736
01:46:00,566 --> 01:46:05,188
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1737
01:46:19,119 --> 01:46:23,188
Awwwwww, double fake-out!
1738
01:46:23,326 --> 01:46:27,360
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1739
01:46:27,497 --> 01:46:29,601
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1740
01:46:29,739 --> 01:46:33,257
♪ This song just keeps goin' on
And on and on and on and on ♪
1741
01:46:33,395 --> 01:46:37,981
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1742
01:46:38,119 --> 01:46:40,670
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1743
01:46:40,808 --> 01:46:44,050
♪ Seriously, how many more
Credits can there be? ♪
1744
01:46:44,188 --> 01:46:48,601
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1745
01:46:48,739 --> 01:46:50,463
♪ Now, now you know ♪
1746
01:46:50,601 --> 01:46:52,912
♪ This song
Is technically eligible ♪
1747
01:46:53,050 --> 01:46:54,981
♪ For Oscar consideration ♪
1748
01:46:55,119 --> 01:46:59,877
♪ Now you know, now you know ♪
1749
01:47:00,015 --> 01:47:01,912
♪ Now you know ♪