1 00:00:01,258 --> 00:00:03,458 Great. So... I'll give you a call. 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:04,754 I hope you do. 3 00:00:04,923 --> 00:00:05,923 All right. 4 00:00:08,171 --> 00:00:09,120 Look at this. 5 00:00:09,245 --> 00:00:10,760 I just got that girl's number. 6 00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,078 Check it out. 7 00:00:12,254 --> 00:00:13,054 Holly. 8 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:14,022 Nice. 9 00:00:14,521 --> 00:00:18,079 Girls whose names end in L-Y are always dirty. 10 00:00:18,304 --> 00:00:19,587 Holly, Kelly, 11 00:00:19,712 --> 00:00:20,512 Carly, 12 00:00:20,637 --> 00:00:21,437 Lily. 13 00:00:23,616 --> 00:00:25,466 Oh, yeah, I know it's true. 14 00:00:25,930 --> 00:00:28,942 And don't even get me started on girls 15 00:00:29,067 --> 00:00:31,947 whose names should end in Y, but instead end in I. 16 00:00:32,215 --> 00:00:34,460 Those girls are like roller coasters. 17 00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:37,000 You got to wait in a long line, but once you get up there, 18 00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:40,130 you just hold on for dear life and hope you don't drop your keys. 19 00:00:40,390 --> 00:00:43,209 You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna call her right now. 20 00:00:43,491 --> 00:00:46,754 I'm gonna do that whole, "Hey, remember me? It's been so long." 21 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,256 See, it's funny because I just saw her. 22 00:00:50,427 --> 00:00:53,303 Dude, you can't call her. You have to wait three days to call a woman. 23 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:54,445 That's the rule. 24 00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:58,372 That rule is completely played out. Girls know exactly what you're doing. 25 00:00:58,497 --> 00:01:01,851 I got a new rule. It's kind of crazy, but I call it, 26 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,146 "You like her, you call her." 27 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:07,545 I'm sorry. Can you repeat that? I don't speak I Never Get Laid. 28 00:01:09,209 --> 00:01:11,823 The "Three Days Rule" is insane. I mean, 29 00:01:12,194 --> 00:01:13,571 who even came up with that? 30 00:01:14,587 --> 00:01:15,387 Jesus. 31 00:01:16,568 --> 00:01:18,661 Don't do this. Not with Jesus. 32 00:01:19,022 --> 00:01:20,022 Seriously. 33 00:01:20,149 --> 00:01:22,896 Jesus started the whole wait-three-days thing. 34 00:01:23,021 --> 00:01:26,085 He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect. 35 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,715 If he have only waited one day, 36 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,965 a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. 37 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,966 They'd be all, "Hey, Jesus, what up?" 38 00:01:32,296 --> 00:01:34,453 And Jesus would probably be, like, "What up? 39 00:01:34,578 --> 00:01:36,095 I died yesterday." 40 00:01:36,653 --> 00:01:37,972 And then they'd be all, 41 00:01:38,221 --> 00:01:40,181 "You look pretty alive to me, dude." 42 00:01:40,352 --> 00:01:42,795 And then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected 43 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,703 and how it was a miracle. And then, the dude would be, like, 44 00:01:45,828 --> 00:01:48,009 "Okay, whatever you say, bro." 45 00:01:48,958 --> 00:01:51,277 Ancient dialogue sounds so stilted now. 46 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,487 And he's not going to come back on a saturday. 47 00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:56,031 Everybody's busy, doing chores, 48 00:01:56,201 --> 00:01:58,766 working the loom, trimming their beards. No. 49 00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:02,019 He waits the exact right number of days... 50 00:02:02,729 --> 00:02:03,539 Three. 51 00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:06,625 Okay, I promise... I'll wait 3 days. Just please stop talking. 52 00:02:07,938 --> 00:02:10,819 Plus, it's sunday, so everyone's in church already. 53 00:02:10,944 --> 00:02:12,944 They're all in there, "Oh, no, 54 00:02:13,069 --> 00:02:14,383 Jesus is dead." 55 00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:16,998 Then, bam! He bursts through the back door, 56 00:02:17,123 --> 00:02:19,621 runs up the aisle. Everyone's totally psyched. 57 00:02:19,746 --> 00:02:22,696 And, FYI, that's when he invented the high-five. 58 00:02:22,964 --> 00:02:24,264 Three days, Ted. 59 00:02:24,570 --> 00:02:26,770 We wait three days to call a woman 60 00:02:26,895 --> 00:02:29,982 because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait. 61 00:02:32,288 --> 00:02:33,276 True story. 62 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,171 Synchro: Mickeyte 63 00:02:36,296 --> 00:02:38,500 Traduction: MiniBen314, Eomyn et Lino72 64 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,820 Relecture: MiniBen314 Transcript: yetts.net 65 00:02:41,945 --> 00:02:44,747 How I Met Your Mother 4x21 - The Three Days Rule 66 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,500 par la "Have You Met Team" pour www.forom.com 67 00:02:47,796 --> 00:02:49,752 Okay, fine. I promise, 68 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,754 I won't call Holly for three days. 69 00:02:52,082 --> 00:02:54,632 But I never said anything about texting. 70 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:57,544 I started things off with something cute and charming. 71 00:02:57,669 --> 00:03:01,854 "I was thinking about you, so I thought I'd send you a little texty text." 72 00:03:01,979 --> 00:03:04,768 And the moment I hit "Send," I realized 73 00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:06,533 it wasn't cute at all. 74 00:03:06,658 --> 00:03:09,854 It was the lamest thing anyone has ever said to anyone. 75 00:03:09,979 --> 00:03:13,579 And the worst thing about texting is that once you send it... 76 00:03:19,556 --> 00:03:21,340 you can never get it back. 77 00:03:21,465 --> 00:03:22,450 And then... 78 00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:23,960 you wait. 79 00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:27,822 And just when you've decided never to text anyone ever again... 80 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,252 "I've been thinking about you, too, 81 00:03:31,818 --> 00:03:35,189 and how weird is it that you texted me while I was in the bath?" 82 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,711 - What was that? - What? 83 00:03:43,836 --> 00:03:44,989 You made a noise. 84 00:03:45,114 --> 00:03:46,684 That was my phone. I got a text. 85 00:03:46,945 --> 00:03:49,352 Not that. You made your naked lady noise. 86 00:03:49,523 --> 00:03:50,404 What?! 87 00:03:50,529 --> 00:03:53,294 Whenever you see a naked lady, you make the noise... 88 00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:58,112 - I don't do that. - Really? 89 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,541 Oh, God, sorry, Lily. 90 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,208 While the men are out hunting, 91 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,452 the women of New Guinea's indigenous Korowai tribe 92 00:04:11,577 --> 00:04:13,544 wash their clothes in the river. 93 00:04:21,112 --> 00:04:22,712 That's totally a boob. 94 00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:28,475 Is that Holly who keeps texting you? Didn't you promise to wait three days? 95 00:04:28,645 --> 00:04:31,186 To call, yes. Texting is totally different. 96 00:04:31,665 --> 00:04:34,732 Okay, well, just try to keep the naked lady noises to a minimum. 97 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,901 I don't make a naked lady noise. 98 00:04:46,191 --> 00:04:49,541 Holly and I stayed up texting until 2:00 in the morning. 99 00:04:50,444 --> 00:04:53,426 And we spent the whole next day texting each other, too. 100 00:04:54,153 --> 00:04:55,603 She seemed perfect. 101 00:04:57,841 --> 00:05:00,065 Holly just told me what she's wearing right now. 102 00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:01,425 It is pretty hot. 103 00:05:01,595 --> 00:05:04,386 Yeah, whatever it is, I can guarantee you she's not wearing it. 104 00:05:04,556 --> 00:05:06,391 She's lying to you to make you like her. 105 00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:07,723 How do you know that? 106 00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:11,115 Because no woman in the history of the world 107 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,260 is ever "just sitting around reading architecture magazines 108 00:05:14,385 --> 00:05:15,272 in my old 109 00:05:15,397 --> 00:05:16,815 cheerleader uniform." 110 00:05:17,469 --> 00:05:20,869 Okay, maybe she's lying about the architecture magazines. 111 00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:28,911 Oh, no. This is bad. 112 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:29,879 What? 113 00:05:30,004 --> 00:05:33,164 She just sent me a text that was clearly meant for someone else. 114 00:05:34,755 --> 00:05:38,252 "Hey, baby, I picked up some take-out from Generro's. Be home soon." 115 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,700 Yes, this sounds bad, but let's think about this, okay? 116 00:05:42,825 --> 00:05:44,620 It could be for a brother 117 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,387 or maybe her sick dad. 118 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:47,655 Scroll down. 119 00:05:49,276 --> 00:05:50,926 "And then I want you to 120 00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,650 do me on the couch." 121 00:05:53,892 --> 00:05:55,742 Okay, maybe not a sick dad. 122 00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:58,294 Or a very sick dad. 123 00:05:58,813 --> 00:05:59,925 Am I right? 124 00:06:01,816 --> 00:06:02,616 Sorry. 125 00:06:07,714 --> 00:06:08,864 What is this? 126 00:06:10,497 --> 00:06:13,242 It's just some take-out from Generro's. I'm bringing it home for Lily. 127 00:06:13,367 --> 00:06:15,380 That's weird. Holly just texted Ted 128 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,813 something about take-out from Generro's. 129 00:06:19,591 --> 00:06:20,791 Wait a second. 130 00:06:21,874 --> 00:06:23,632 You sons of bitches. 131 00:06:23,895 --> 00:06:24,695 What? 132 00:06:25,476 --> 00:06:26,626 You're Holly. 133 00:06:30,755 --> 00:06:33,684 So Ted hasn't been texting Holly at all? 134 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,652 He's been texting you two? 135 00:06:35,777 --> 00:06:38,512 We knew he'd try to call her before the three days, 136 00:06:38,637 --> 00:06:42,359 so I swiped his phone, and I changed her number to my work cell. 137 00:06:42,529 --> 00:06:43,625 We were just gonna 138 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:46,400 bust on him for calling her too soon, but then he 139 00:06:46,525 --> 00:06:47,698 started texting her. 140 00:06:49,337 --> 00:06:50,767 "Texty text"?! 141 00:06:52,722 --> 00:06:55,376 Oh, poor, sweet Ted. We should... 142 00:06:55,692 --> 00:06:57,542 we should tell him it's us. 143 00:06:58,104 --> 00:06:58,904 Or... 144 00:06:59,527 --> 00:07:02,377 we pretend we're Holly, and we're in the bath. 145 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,220 Yeah, that's better. 146 00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:12,346 Well, that was fun. 147 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,483 - We should tell him that it's us. - Yeah, we should. 148 00:07:15,608 --> 00:07:16,408 Or... 149 00:07:17,056 --> 00:07:19,254 we tell him our favorite color is red, 150 00:07:19,379 --> 00:07:21,856 and we think the cowboy look is very sexy. 151 00:07:22,878 --> 00:07:24,353 Yeah, that's better. 152 00:07:25,492 --> 00:07:27,469 I'm wearing them right now, 153 00:07:27,594 --> 00:07:29,448 and they do look sexy. 154 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:34,276 - He put on the boots! - He totally put on the boots! 155 00:07:35,245 --> 00:07:36,595 That was awesome! 156 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,582 But it's time to tell him who he really 157 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,377 put those boots on for. 158 00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:42,381 Or... 159 00:07:43,107 --> 00:07:44,957 we just took off our shirt. 160 00:07:45,747 --> 00:07:47,247 Yeah, that's better. 161 00:07:48,615 --> 00:07:50,963 You think maybe we're wearing a black 162 00:07:51,088 --> 00:07:52,588 lace bra underneath? 163 00:07:53,919 --> 00:07:55,933 I don't think we're wearing anything underneath. 164 00:07:56,299 --> 00:07:57,433 God, we're hot. 165 00:08:00,572 --> 00:08:03,982 Now he's only wearing the cowboy boots! It is on! 166 00:08:04,307 --> 00:08:05,407 It is so on! 167 00:08:05,532 --> 00:08:09,032 Tell him that we're... we're slowing slipping out of our... 168 00:08:10,961 --> 00:08:12,281 What are we doing? 169 00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:16,187 I think that we're 170 00:08:16,646 --> 00:08:18,496 about to have sex with Ted. 171 00:08:23,082 --> 00:08:26,463 So, you did this to him all day? That's just mean. 172 00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:30,045 No... it was... actually for his own good. 173 00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:32,130 We're protecting him from himself. He... 174 00:08:32,255 --> 00:08:34,762 He really likes this girl. He had that look in his eye. 175 00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:38,932 Yeah, that crazy "I'm about to move too fast and screw this up" look. 176 00:08:39,229 --> 00:08:41,732 It was actually the same look he had on his first date with you. 177 00:08:41,857 --> 00:08:43,522 And we all remember how that went. 178 00:08:44,294 --> 00:08:45,816 I think I'm in love with you. 179 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:46,784 What?! 180 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,266 Yeah, well, I think I was a special case. 181 00:08:50,391 --> 00:08:53,073 This Holly is no Robin Scherbatsky. 182 00:08:53,870 --> 00:08:55,640 Hey, what is the deal with her hair? 183 00:08:55,765 --> 00:08:57,029 I mean, news flash, 184 00:08:57,154 --> 00:09:00,006 they make conditioners that don't leave a buildup. 185 00:09:00,131 --> 00:09:01,181 I'm so bad. 186 00:09:01,884 --> 00:09:04,609 Look, it's been a while since Ted really liked someone. 187 00:09:04,734 --> 00:09:07,161 He's clearly got a lot of crazy stored up. We just... 188 00:09:07,286 --> 00:09:09,082 we thought we'd get him to say "I love you" 189 00:09:09,207 --> 00:09:11,032 before he even makes contact with this girl. 190 00:09:11,157 --> 00:09:14,136 And you can tell it's on the way. He's exhibiting all the telltale signs. 191 00:09:14,926 --> 00:09:16,889 One, he joked about getting married. 192 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,170 "You like architecture? We should get married. 193 00:09:20,295 --> 00:09:21,174 Ah, ah. 194 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:22,892 LOL. Just kidding. 195 00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:24,713 Question mark." 196 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,525 Two, he made a crazy way-too-soon trip suggestion. 197 00:09:28,981 --> 00:09:32,638 "I like beer, too. We should totally go to Germany together. 198 00:09:32,763 --> 00:09:33,563 LOL. 199 00:09:33,688 --> 00:09:34,488 J.K. 200 00:09:34,732 --> 00:09:35,532 LOL." 201 00:09:36,991 --> 00:09:40,537 And three, he got way too personal way too soon. 202 00:09:40,925 --> 00:09:43,864 "Yeah, my parents got divorced a couple years back. 203 00:09:43,989 --> 00:09:45,589 It was really tough. 204 00:09:45,946 --> 00:09:46,915 LOL." 205 00:09:48,184 --> 00:09:50,589 And he clearly doesn't know what LOL means. 206 00:09:50,915 --> 00:09:53,690 But here's the real problem. Ted wasn't saying "I love you" 207 00:09:53,815 --> 00:09:55,427 as easily as we thought he would. 208 00:09:55,704 --> 00:09:56,796 Then we met... 209 00:09:56,921 --> 00:09:57,721 Stan. 210 00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:07,516 Why are you making so much noise, man? 211 00:10:08,373 --> 00:10:11,415 So we explained everything to him, and when we were done, 212 00:10:11,881 --> 00:10:13,237 something amazing happened. 213 00:10:14,043 --> 00:10:16,240 Why don't you tell Ted that just knowing he's out there, 214 00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:17,629 thinking about you, 215 00:10:17,754 --> 00:10:19,910 caring about you, makes you feel safe? 216 00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:23,759 So, all your fears, all your yesterdays wash away, 217 00:10:24,032 --> 00:10:27,376 and only hope remains in the promise of his embrace. 218 00:10:30,526 --> 00:10:31,593 Go, Stan. 219 00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:32,963 Who is this guy? 220 00:10:33,088 --> 00:10:34,738 He's a security guard who works nights. 221 00:10:34,863 --> 00:10:36,596 And he eats lunch at MacLaren's every day. 222 00:10:36,721 --> 00:10:38,771 - And he wasn't done. - Not by a long shot. 223 00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:41,739 You make me thank God for every mistake I ever made 224 00:10:41,864 --> 00:10:45,143 because each one led me down the path that brought me to you. 225 00:10:46,447 --> 00:10:48,480 That's like, really nice, man. 226 00:10:49,114 --> 00:10:50,399 Whatever. It's okay. 227 00:10:52,288 --> 00:10:55,788 "And when we finally come together, I want you to hold me." 228 00:10:56,147 --> 00:10:57,647 Hold me all night. 229 00:10:57,913 --> 00:10:59,263 Stroke my hair. 230 00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:02,493 Tell me I'm a woman and show me you're a man. 231 00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:04,585 Until there there was only now. 232 00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:05,573 You... 233 00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:06,698 and I... 234 00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:08,405 and now. 235 00:11:12,042 --> 00:11:14,142 You want me to text that to Ted. 236 00:11:14,596 --> 00:11:15,696 I know that. 237 00:11:17,554 --> 00:11:20,002 "I do not ask of the night explanations. 238 00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:21,457 I wait for it, 239 00:11:21,582 --> 00:11:23,038 and it envelops me, 240 00:11:23,163 --> 00:11:24,263 and so you 241 00:11:24,502 --> 00:11:25,552 and bread 242 00:11:25,694 --> 00:11:26,744 and light 243 00:11:26,997 --> 00:11:28,097 and shadow 244 00:11:28,222 --> 00:11:29,022 are." 245 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,106 That's Pablo Neruda. 246 00:11:31,788 --> 00:11:33,038 I don't know... 247 00:11:33,356 --> 00:11:36,406 what bread was doing in there, but that touched me 248 00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:37,367 here 249 00:11:38,746 --> 00:11:39,696 and here. 250 00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:42,077 Well, if Ted won't say it, 251 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,052 I will. 252 00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:45,280 I love you. 253 00:11:47,921 --> 00:11:48,999 That's cool. 254 00:11:51,301 --> 00:11:52,502 Still nothing, huh? 255 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,170 Maybe he's not in love with us. 256 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:57,007 How can he not be in love with us? We're everything he's looking for. 257 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,508 I don't get men. 258 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,975 - Got to head to work. - Will you be... 259 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:03,513 Will you be back? 260 00:12:03,993 --> 00:12:07,643 I'll be back when the wind and fates and chance bring me back. 261 00:12:08,148 --> 00:12:09,798 Which will be tomorrow. 262 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,396 It's cheese steak day. 263 00:12:15,181 --> 00:12:17,110 It sounds like you were all over this guy. 264 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,809 Hope his girlfriend didn't get jealous. 265 00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:21,990 Did he mention a girlfriend or...? 266 00:12:23,321 --> 00:12:26,122 It was all going great until Marshall sent Ted 267 00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:28,414 a text meant for Lily and ruined everything. 268 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,915 Well, it doesn't matter. Okay? It's over now. 269 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,196 I got to get going, but here's what's going to happen. 270 00:12:33,321 --> 00:12:35,263 You're want to call him right now, 271 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,651 tell him what you did, and apologize. 272 00:12:37,776 --> 00:12:38,826 You got it? 273 00:12:43,107 --> 00:12:43,907 Or... 274 00:12:44,982 --> 00:12:46,264 Holly explained everything. 275 00:12:46,434 --> 00:12:49,226 It was all just a misunderstanding. Everything's great now. 276 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,244 Really? 277 00:12:50,517 --> 00:12:53,105 How did... Holly explain her way out of that one? 278 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,629 Well, apparently, her dumb friend Marsha 279 00:12:55,754 --> 00:12:58,275 accidentally used her phone to text her husband Billy. 280 00:12:58,642 --> 00:12:59,992 Marsha and Billy. 281 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,429 No one sprained any muscles there. 282 00:13:03,319 --> 00:13:05,419 And now we are better than ever. 283 00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:08,029 Look, I know this sounds crazy, but... 284 00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:10,287 I think I might actually be falling for this girl. 285 00:13:11,285 --> 00:13:13,083 You're falling for Barney and Marshall. 286 00:13:13,905 --> 00:13:14,705 What? 287 00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:17,264 They didn't believe that you could wait the three days, 288 00:13:17,389 --> 00:13:20,640 so Barney changed her number in your phone to his work cell. 289 00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:22,591 Holly is Barney and Marshall. 290 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,927 Wait. That whole time it was them? 291 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,889 So Holly wasn't in the bath? 292 00:13:31,226 --> 00:13:34,729 Or sitting by her window, looking up at the stars, thinking about me? 293 00:13:38,719 --> 00:13:41,132 Or lounging in her old cheerleader uniform 294 00:13:41,257 --> 00:13:42,778 reading architecture magazines? 295 00:13:46,484 --> 00:13:49,253 Yeah. I don't think they actually did those things. 296 00:13:49,378 --> 00:13:51,023 They were just at the bar. 297 00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:52,134 Right. 298 00:13:52,259 --> 00:13:53,497 But, yeah, it was them. 299 00:13:55,103 --> 00:13:56,877 - Unbelievable. - I know. 300 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,212 So you might as well tell them you're on to them. 301 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:01,840 Or... 302 00:14:03,136 --> 00:14:05,759 I text them something that will really mess with their heads. 303 00:14:06,738 --> 00:14:07,781 I gotcha. 304 00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:10,110 How about... 305 00:14:10,419 --> 00:14:12,852 "I haven't told any of my friends yet, 306 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,187 but I only have three months to live?" 307 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,255 Not bad. 308 00:14:16,448 --> 00:14:17,398 How about 309 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,337 "I once killed a man with a shovel, 310 00:14:19,462 --> 00:14:21,564 and those feelings are creeping up again"? 311 00:14:22,267 --> 00:14:26,198 I liked that thing someone said before about having three months to live. 312 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,571 How about, "I never told anyone this, 313 00:14:28,696 --> 00:14:30,827 but I slept with my best friend's mom"? 314 00:14:31,059 --> 00:14:32,177 That is good, 315 00:14:32,302 --> 00:14:35,795 but I feel like we keep coming back to that three months to live thing. 316 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:36,720 Wait. 317 00:14:36,934 --> 00:14:39,034 - I think I got it. - Oh, yeah? 318 00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:42,506 He texted back! 319 00:14:43,552 --> 00:14:45,902 "I probably shouldn't tell you this. 320 00:14:46,392 --> 00:14:49,178 I mean we barely know each other. 321 00:14:49,303 --> 00:14:51,555 But what the hell, I'll just say it." 322 00:14:51,726 --> 00:14:54,005 This is it, dude. Here comes the "I love you." 323 00:14:54,408 --> 00:14:56,008 I wish Stan were here. 324 00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:01,284 What? 325 00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:05,735 "I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend." 326 00:15:10,992 --> 00:15:13,271 "I sometimes have gay dreams 327 00:15:13,396 --> 00:15:14,829 about my best friend." 328 00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:17,894 Why in the world would Ted text a girl 329 00:15:18,019 --> 00:15:21,002 he barely knows that he sometimes has gay dreams about me? 330 00:15:21,950 --> 00:15:23,200 Slow your roll. 331 00:15:23,349 --> 00:15:24,149 You? 332 00:15:24,551 --> 00:15:26,048 He's clearly talking about me. 333 00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:28,677 Dude, it's me. I'm his best friend. 334 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,594 Okay, one, that has never been proven. 335 00:15:30,869 --> 00:15:33,640 Two, if anyone were to have gay dreams about one of us, 336 00:15:33,765 --> 00:15:35,015 it would be me. 337 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,052 I mean, look at me. 338 00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:38,480 Now look at you. 339 00:15:39,058 --> 00:15:42,274 A still-in-the-closet 80-year-old wouldn't be into that mess. 340 00:15:43,012 --> 00:15:44,328 Here's the thing, Barney. 341 00:15:44,453 --> 00:15:46,111 I'm snuggly. You're not. 342 00:15:46,619 --> 00:15:50,360 Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a sunday morning? 343 00:15:50,485 --> 00:15:53,217 Wrapped in a comforter, and it's raining outside, 344 00:15:53,342 --> 00:15:56,538 and there's muffins warming in the oven. I'm cuddly, bitch. Deal with it. 345 00:15:57,888 --> 00:15:59,416 I work out every day. 346 00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:02,053 If there is one thing we know about Ted, 347 00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:05,177 it's that he likes a nice body. This body would rock his world. 348 00:16:05,302 --> 00:16:08,126 Ted and I have a history. I know what he likes. 349 00:16:08,251 --> 00:16:11,901 There are things I could do to him that would blow his mind... 350 00:16:14,244 --> 00:16:16,226 Why do we keep trying to have sex with Ted? 351 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,947 I don't know. It's weird. 352 00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:19,643 Crazy, right? 353 00:16:19,987 --> 00:16:22,137 Ted's having gay dreams about me. 354 00:16:22,696 --> 00:16:24,794 And by me, he means M-E, 355 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,626 Marshall Eriksen, 356 00:16:26,842 --> 00:16:28,871 star of Ted's gay dreams. 357 00:16:29,368 --> 00:16:32,580 Who cares? So Ted has gay dreams about one of you guys. 358 00:16:32,705 --> 00:16:35,725 It's not like you found out he has three months to live. 359 00:16:36,176 --> 00:16:37,276 That's like, 360 00:16:37,628 --> 00:16:39,105 shocking, right? 361 00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:41,541 Look at this guy. 362 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,169 How's it going, best friend of 12 years? 363 00:16:46,645 --> 00:16:48,445 It's kind of weird, but... 364 00:16:48,683 --> 00:16:51,967 I had this crazy dream the other night. It's a little embarrassing. 365 00:16:52,242 --> 00:16:54,888 You can tell us, Ted. This is a safe space. 366 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,557 Your feelings are perfectly natural, buddy. 367 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,360 Here's what happened. 368 00:17:00,995 --> 00:17:01,904 So I'm at... 369 00:17:02,029 --> 00:17:05,234 And then I proceeded to waste a half hour of those bastards' lives, 370 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,235 telling them about this dream I had where I date dinner with my top five 371 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:10,549 favorite architects throughout history. 372 00:17:10,674 --> 00:17:12,511 And then, at the end of the meal, 373 00:17:12,636 --> 00:17:15,857 Frank Gehry slides the check over to I.M. Pei, and he says, 374 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:19,502 "Buddy, tonight, your name is I.M. Paying." 375 00:17:20,786 --> 00:17:23,826 Buckminster Fuller almost did a spit take. 376 00:17:25,641 --> 00:17:27,087 And then I woke up. 377 00:17:28,825 --> 00:17:30,048 So, that... that's it? 378 00:17:31,265 --> 00:17:32,701 No other dreams? 379 00:17:32,826 --> 00:17:33,650 Nothing 380 00:17:33,775 --> 00:17:34,962 confusing or 381 00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:35,887 erotic? 382 00:17:39,054 --> 00:17:41,954 How about this? Ted, you know how at some point in the future, 383 00:17:42,079 --> 00:17:44,098 - machines will rise up against us? - Sure. 384 00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:45,673 So, the machines... 385 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,504 they've killed everybody, and all that's left 386 00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:49,479 is you, 387 00:17:50,871 --> 00:17:51,671 me, 388 00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:53,363 and Barney. 389 00:17:54,701 --> 00:17:56,951 Which one of us would you, like... 390 00:17:59,181 --> 00:18:00,131 get with? 391 00:18:02,395 --> 00:18:03,195 And... 392 00:18:03,941 --> 00:18:06,041 why do I have to get with one of you? 393 00:18:06,606 --> 00:18:08,073 The machines are forcing you. 394 00:18:08,198 --> 00:18:10,588 They want to watch. That's just how they get down. 395 00:18:11,726 --> 00:18:12,776 That's a... 396 00:18:13,284 --> 00:18:16,334 That's a tough one. I guess it would have to be... 397 00:18:19,537 --> 00:18:20,347 Holly. 398 00:18:21,904 --> 00:18:25,045 Robin told me wh you guys did. That's why I made up the gay dreams thing. 399 00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,670 Guys, this is Holly. 400 00:18:27,876 --> 00:18:30,465 And I didn't wait your precious three days to call her. 401 00:18:30,590 --> 00:18:32,822 I knew where she worked, so I tracked her down. 402 00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:35,047 Let me ask you. Did I call you too soon? 403 00:18:35,172 --> 00:18:37,388 I loved that he called me right away. 404 00:18:37,513 --> 00:18:39,248 I found it very romantic. 405 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,893 And by the way, I don't sit around my apartment 406 00:18:42,018 --> 00:18:45,126 reading architecture magazines in my old cheerleader uniform. 407 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,966 I do that completely 408 00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:47,891 naked. 409 00:18:52,112 --> 00:18:54,498 So... Holly and I are going out to dinner. 410 00:18:54,623 --> 00:18:55,924 I'll meet you out front. 411 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,096 I'm sorry, buddy. We... were just trying to help you. 412 00:19:01,361 --> 00:19:03,769 And, also, it was really fun. 413 00:19:06,263 --> 00:19:09,062 I don't need your help, okay? I can take care of myself. 414 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,761 And, yeah, maybe... maybe there are some girls who 415 00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:16,138 wouldn't like it that I called them right away or said things too soon, but 416 00:19:16,263 --> 00:19:18,698 guess what? Those aren't the right girls for me. 417 00:19:19,316 --> 00:19:21,166 Maybe the right girl is the one 418 00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:23,833 who loves that I do those things because 419 00:19:23,958 --> 00:19:25,191 that's just who I am, 420 00:19:25,316 --> 00:19:28,166 and I'm not going to change because of some stupid "Three Days Rule". 421 00:19:30,922 --> 00:19:31,722 And... 422 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,464 Holly spells her name with an I. 423 00:19:36,265 --> 00:19:39,004 So I had proven that the "Three Days Rule" was wrong, 424 00:19:39,129 --> 00:19:41,213 and I was out to dinner with a pretty girl. 425 00:19:41,338 --> 00:19:43,788 And until right now, I've never told anyone the truth 426 00:19:43,913 --> 00:19:45,517 about what happened on that date. 427 00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:48,311 That's so funny! I love Indie music, too. 428 00:19:48,596 --> 00:19:50,021 We should get married. 429 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,950 Just kidding. 430 00:19:52,644 --> 00:19:53,544 Or am I? 431 00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:55,980 Just kidding again. 432 00:19:56,105 --> 00:19:58,155 That's it. We're totally go on Brazil together! 433 00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,490 And I went to my doctor this morning, and he said it is 434 00:20:00,615 --> 00:20:02,451 all cleared up, so I'm good to go. 435 00:20:02,809 --> 00:20:04,327 I think I'm in love with you, Ted. 436 00:20:04,858 --> 00:20:07,580 In the end, I didn't need to wait three days, 437 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:09,698 but Holly really, really did. 438 00:20:10,284 --> 00:20:12,763 Like a lot of rules, there are times to follow them 439 00:20:12,888 --> 00:20:14,237 and times to not. 440 00:20:14,362 --> 00:20:16,112 But I will tell you this. 441 00:20:16,421 --> 00:20:18,408 When I got your mother's number, 442 00:20:18,533 --> 00:20:20,233 I called her right away. 443 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,692 Hey, fellas. 444 00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:27,477 Aren't you working? 445 00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:30,262 - Took the night off. - That's great! We can all hang out! 446 00:20:30,387 --> 00:20:31,729 I can't. Got a date. 447 00:20:32,527 --> 00:20:33,827 You ready, baby? 448 00:20:34,451 --> 00:20:36,900 - What the...? - Wait... Couldn't you guys just 449 00:20:37,126 --> 00:20:39,404 stay here and do your date with us? 450 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,107 Yeah, it'll be fun! 451 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,827 Look, I'm laughing! 452 00:20:42,952 --> 00:20:44,909 It's fun here! You like magic? 453 00:20:45,209 --> 00:20:47,986 Fellas, it... it's time we said good-bye. 454 00:20:48,613 --> 00:20:51,209 We shared a very special afternoon together, and that's 455 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,792 something I will always cherish. 456 00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:55,061 I'll never forget you guys. 457 00:20:55,942 --> 00:20:58,742 - Do you even know their names? - No idea. Is the tall one Ted? 458 00:20:58,867 --> 00:21:00,995 No. That's Marshall. He's married to Lily. 459 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:03,520 - You like chicken wings? - Oh, yeah.